#i feared that Big Tiefling was also mean

[paragonrobits]

"Gaining Karlach's approval centers around being forthcoming and somewhat heroic - showing compassion toward the wronged and almost uncompromising good." WELL I KNOW WHO I'M BEFRIENDING WHEN I PLAY THIS GAME

[honest-moth-of-silver-grove]

Can I request headcanons for Dammon, Rolan, and Zevlor react to his gn s/o admitting that they have suicidal thoughts?

A/N: Oh, nonnie! *Hugs* This ask was perfect timing because I was struggling with suicidal ideation last week- big time. Me and the kitchen floor were very well acquainted last week. So trust me, I know it’s not easy, but please try and hang in there. These feelings and thoughts, as awful and all-consuming as they are, are still temporary. They will pass. Everything passes eventually. It can’t stay the same forever. So if it’s bad now, just know it won’t always be this way. And in the meantime, I hope these headcanons bring you some comfort. 

TW: Suicidal Thoughts, Mentions of Suicide, Suicidal Ideation 

The BG3 Tiefling Boys Reacting to Their S/O Admiting They Have Suicidal Thoughts 

Dammon: 

Dammon’s taken aback when you tell him. The two of you being a couple has made him so happy, and he’s told you as much. In his enthusiasm, Dammon simply assumed you always felt the same level of elation he did. The fact that you have these sorts of thoughts is all news to him. 

He’s immediately concerned for your safety, worried that any second the thoughts may become too much to bear, and you’ll feel no other choice than to act on them. He contemplates speaking to someone older, someone wiser for advice on what he should do to be a supportive partner. He just wants to get this right. He doesn’t want to add any stress or difficulty to what you’re already going through with any of his reactions or fears. 

Dammon starts checking up on you more often, at random times throughout the day. He’ll take a break from his forging and pop his head inside to find you, wherever you are. Some days he sits with you and talks about the current projects he’s making. Other days the two of you sit in silence, sipping cool glasses of water. Dammon wants to ensure you don’t ever feel as if you’re going through this alone. He wants to show you that he’ll always be nearby, should you need him. 

Dammon will also make you random presents whenever he has a little extra time. It’s not much- a pendant here, or a broach there, a bunch of little things to remind you of him when he can’t be there. 

Dammon suggests you try writing your feelings out in a diary of sorts. And he promises not to peek- it's for your benefit only. His sketchbook helps him so much in trying to overcome a design flaw or difficulty. He thinks, perhaps, if you had more space to expand your feelings and thoughts onto paper, they wouldn't feel as oppressive in your mind.

You find his tail always wrapping around your ankle, or even your waist, when you're at his side. It’s like his tail is telling you what echoes in the subconscious of his mind: Dammon can’t lose you. He’s been through so much already. You have brought so much light and joy into his life. He couldn’t bear to let you go. 

He begs you, to please come to him if you should ever get to a point where you don’t know what else to do. He doesn’t want to lose you. You mean so much to him. Please, let him in. The two of you can weather this together. 

Essentially, Dammon becomes all the more attentive and upfront/vocal about his affection for you. He hopes to shower you in so much love, that the little voice in your head has no chance to bring you down. 

Rolan: 

Rolan is sickened, and just a teensy bit angry. Not at you, but at himself. Hearing you confess to having such thoughts makes him all the more concerned about you. But of course, being the stubborn tiefling he is, Rolan doesn’t know how to say it without sounding like a dick. 

Rolan first considers looking into a spell or enchantment that can do away with such feelings, before you explain to him that, even if that were possible, in the long run, that’s not how these things work. These kinds of things can’t be fixed by magic. And even if there was a spell that might work, it’s not the kind of thing magic should be used to interfere with. This makes Rolan more irritable about the whole thing because he’s spent so long studying, building up his skills to be a wizard. But he hasn’t spent the time working on his emotional intelligence or intimacy prowess. And now, he fears that lack of proficiency may cost him you. 

But he tries! Oh boy, does he try! He’s constantly sending either Lia or Cal to check up on you when he’s too busy to come see you himself. It becomes a bit of an inside joke between the three of you, how large that one vein in Rolan’s forehead becomes whenever Cal or Lia report back to him about you. 

Once Rolan comes to understand you didn’t tell him so he’d be responsible for keeping you under watch, but because you just wanted him to ‘get it’, he becomes much less overbearing in his instructions. Instead of ordering you to go outside for some sun, he’ll offer to take a stroll with you around Sorcerous Sundries. Rather than forcing you to eat every couple of hours, Rolan will show up in your room some night with a select baked goods he picked up from a street vendor for you to share over tea before falling asleep. 

He has difficulty talking about it most days, but he does hold your hands and tell you once, very passionately, that he cares for you, deeply, and he hates to think you were hurting all this time in silence. He asks you to please, please keep sharing your feelings with him. He knows his reactions aren’t always the most encouraging, but he swears that no matter his initial reaction, he will always be on your side. 

Deep down he does want to take care of you, he feels responsible for your well-being. It’s rather similar to how he feels responsible for providing for Lia and Cal. But with you, it’s all the more profound. There’s no point in him studying to become the greatest wizard in Baldur’s Gate if you’re not at his side. Without you, very little would seem worth it.  

Zevlor:

Zevlor is alarmed, and immediately all the more worried about your well-being. Zevlor was already anxious before about the two of you being together, thinking of himself as undeserving. He felt he was too old, too damaged, and too changed to be a man worthy of your affections. Becoming an official couple quieted most of those doubts but hearing you confess that you harbor such thoughts brings all his insecurities back to the forefront. 

Is it something he’s done? Is it something he didn’t do? Is it his fault? He’s already apologizing profusely before you can even get a word in edgewise. You are so incredible, he thinks you’re so brilliant. The fault must lie with him. 

Once you explain how it’s not anybody’s fault, neither his nor yours, Zevlor seems to settle a little. He still worries a great deal about you, probably the most out of all the tieflings, because he knows the exact desperation you’re feeling. He’s felt it before. He’s felt it a few times throughout his life actually. 

As a Hellrider, Zevlor saw a great deal of conflict. And when Elturel fell into Avernus, he was forced to endure even more. There’s so much pain and suffering in the world that when you’re stuck in the middle of it, it often seems like there’s no way out. 

Because Zevlor has felt such lows before, he also knows there isn’t always much you can do to stop it right away. Yes, you can meditate or talk your feelings out or perhaps write them down in a journal or log, but there’s no quick fix. It’s a heavy burden you must carry, even as you look out into the coming horizon. 

The one thing Zevlor knows he can do is help you carry the load. Zelvor reminds you that you are not alone in this fight. Granted, he may no longer be the paladin he once was, but that will not stop him from aiding you the best he can. He’ll pay you extra attention, and spend more quality time with you. He’ll sit with you and rub your back as you cry. And on the days it's all just too much to take, Zevlor will stay in bed with you, his tail curled around your leg, his claws scratching gently through your hair as you lay there hiding away from the world. 

If your feelings ever get worse, Zevlor might consider recommending you speak to someone who perhaps can help, more than he can help you alone. A cleric or a monk, a druid… Anyone. Zevlor knows from his fellow veterans- there are more people out there living with the exact same feelings as you. Perhaps being able to attend a group setting to talk, as he does on occasion with his former Hellriders from Elturel, would help strengthen you on your continued journey.  

Zevlor approaches the situation with much more wisdom and understanding. He works to comfort you the best he can, but he also possesses enough humility to let you grieve as needed. 

[bluerose5]

Just some of my Iron Bull in BG3/Faerûn AU musings from discord, so that I can keep them organized if I ever want to reference this and write something:

Out of all of the dragon age characters to be dumped in Faerûn, he would probably be the one to adapt the quickest to the change. He is a spy after all. He was trained to infiltrate foreign lands and learn more about their people, culture, etc. in order to blend in better and live there, if need be. He'd personally like the challenge. Still approaches everything with a healthy balance of fear, respect, and distance because this is new territory to him.

Although he likes the challenge, that doesn't mean he isn't freaking about the whole situation too. He still has some weird worm in his head. Some of the Forgotten Realms races (tieflings, gith, mind flayers), he knows nothing about, so he has no idea what to expect from them. He doesn't know how magic works in Faerûn and if it's as big of risk as it can be back home. I simply see him as being the more cautious, observant type when he's just starting out in a new land, so he's not as reactive at first. A lot of the freaking out is done internally. Eventually, once he gets comfortable with the companions, he'll open up and be his loud, boisterous self again and show more emotion overall, good or bad. He's trying to get a better understanding of his surroundings before he starts acting on anything, though.

He enjoys spending time with and getting to know the companions, but boy do they all need some serious help.

He picks up every book, letter, and journal that he can find. If it has information, he's taking it and utilizing it. Plus he likes collecting knowledge. He's smarter than people give him credit for.

People first assume he's a tiefling of some sort. He doesn't bother correcting them. If they believe him to be from the area, then that could possibly be used to his advantage. It also would be hard for everyday people to comprehend the whole "I'm from another universe" aspect of his story. He tells the companions eventually but on his own time.

He likes playing chess with Gale while they're traveling as he did with Solas. Tells him that he reminds him of this old friend he used to fight alongside.

He reads Astarion like a book. Not only does he know something isn't right there, but he also does not fall for the seduction routine at all.

On that note, when he recruits Astarion, I can see him picking Astarion up by the back of his shirt like he's a misbehaving cat or something because The Iron Bull can smell an (especially bad) attempt at an ambush from a mile away.

Oh yeah, he's definitely having the time of his life getting to watch the red dragons tear the nautiloid apart at the beginning, but that's a given.

There were other good ideas thrown around, but these were my headcanons specifically and I wanted to post them to my blog. Probably more to come in the future.

[azuremosquito]

Gratitude.

It was not a concept with which Astarion had much experience. Two hundred years of seducing people and luring them to their deaths for his master lent itself more to resentment and hatred. But this gratitude thing was rather nice.

Sure, he had saved Halsin for selfish reasons, of course - he had a mindflayer worm in his head and he did not fancy losing his good looks to tentacles, thank you so very much - but in doing so, Astarion and the other survivors of the crashed nautiloid had also cleared the road to Baldur’s Gate for the tiefling refugees and restored peace to the druid’s grove. The refugees had been so elated, they’d insisted on joining the camp for the night and celebrating properly.

Properly, it seemed, included a great deal of wine. The vampire had already had several bottles and mugs thrust into his hands from people who gazed at him like… like… some sort of hero.

At first it had alarmed him, his finely honed self-preservation senses tense and wary. Surely this was some sort of trap or ploy. He mustn’t lower his guard for a moment because that was how people ended up as vampire food. He should know because he’d been very good at it.

But these happy faces around the campfire seemed… genuine. He didn’t know what to make of it. All these innocents smiling at him, unafraid. Old habits urged him to lure them off in secret one by one but… Cazador wasn’t here. Astarion, for the first time in two centuries, was free.

And he had to admit, it felt good to have these people looking up to him. Very good. In fact, he could quite get used to this sort of adoration. He deserved nothing less, if he were being honest with himself. Although, it did admittedly have some downsides. He thought back to Lae’zel’s ‘proposition’ and a shudder squirmed its way down his spine.

While he had been forced to seduce women and men alike to feed Cazador’s insatiable hunger, he had a preference for male companionship, and certainly none that sounded quite so violent as Lae’zel had hinted at.

“You should be out there mingling. Everyone wants to celebrate with you,” a quiet voice spoke somewhere behind and above him.

Astarion felt another tremor through his body. How had a man as big as Halsin managed to sneak up on him in utter silence? Rearranging his face into a flirtatious smirk, the pale elf turned in place and gazed up at the taller man through his eyelashes. “I was looking for you, actually.”

Halsin was a giant of an elf, towering over him (and everyone else, for that matter), with arms like muscled tree trunks; Astarion was fairly certain those arms were bigger around than his waist, and the thought sent a tingling heat to his loins. Halsin was a powerful man who commanded respect, a renowned healer who led with fairness and kindness, not through fear and domination. And yet, Astarion had seen firsthand how ferocious the druid could be in a fight, when something he cared about was threatened.

Here was a valuable ally, if only he could properly ingratiate himself with the gentle giant. Astarion had been flattering Gale previously; what better source of protection than an eminently powerful and skilled wizard, one who had caught the eye of a very goddess? And then the blasted man had gone and revealed that he was a walking bomb, disgraced by said goddess. Astarion had enough problems without adding that to his list.

He purred at Halsin, taking a step closer into the big man’s personal space. “I thought we could find ourselves a little privacy. Get to know each other better.” He waited a beat before dangling the carrot. “Or, perhaps there’s something else you’d rather do besides talking?” The flirting came easily to him, as natural as breathing had once been. A means to make himself useful. A way to protect himself.

He saw interest kindle in the tall druid’s eyes, felt the man take a deep, steadying breath, his snug leather robes creaking around his barrel of a chest. A gentle smile played around the man’s lips as he gazed down at Astarion.

His words, however, were a gentle rebuff.

“Hmm… I’m sure there are. You strike me as extremely… resourceful. But there are many grateful people here who want to spend time with you. I must not keep you all to myself.” Astarion felt a sinking sensation in his gut, until Halsin added, “as enjoyable as that may be.”

Playing hard to get, was he? Astarion generally chose easier marks but something about this massive bear of a man called to him. Certainly, ingratiating himself with Halsin would have many advantages, not the least of which was having his very own resident healer with a great deal of knowledge about these damned illithid tadpoles squirming around in their heads.

No, he could be patient.

In the meantime, he rather thought he could go enjoy being adored.

“Some other time, then.” With a last, lingering glance at the druid, Astarion left the shadows and rejoined those gathered around the campfire in celebration.

[zukkacore]

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

ANYTHING ANYTHING AT ALL ABOUT THE LOVERS UNIVERSE OR ANYTHING AT ALL

Hiiiii truly sorry friend this literally took so long!!!!!!!!!!!! b/c i sat here wracking my brain abt what tf i wanted to talk abt and i got all distracted by wanting to finish Biggest Lie and. i decided to just do what i did last time and. Just go over everything that was a reference or not to something else within Almost b/c I do think that is the easiest way to comb over this gd fic from head to toe. If i don't finish in one go I'll just reblog w/ additions and tag you in

"You're in love, aren't you?" / "You've been sighing all day" I've talked about this before, it's actually a pull from Howl's moving castle. Easily one of the most shameless things i've pilfered and it doesnt even really have a meaning, I just think the exchange is funny.

When J2 approaches, Porter Cliffbreaker lights up with the most insufferable, self-satisfied grin J2’s ever seen in his short life. “You’re early,” he practically purrs. - (In ch 3 for context. This is Porter seeing J2 for the first time.) Obviously we're continuing the Hadestown motif of "you're early" "I missed you". This is again part of the Porter n Jace whole Thing of like. Jace breaking up with him (not in the Big Break but you know). Obviously part of the reason Porter is being so smug is that he thinks Jace is coming crawling back to him. Lol. He thought, didn't he?

"I’m in the correct place, right?” / J2 turns to a tiefling girl in a plaid skirt and a ripped band shirt who is strapping bass guitar to her chest. “Hey, kid. Am I in the right class?” This is a weird pull but this is actually Twelfth Night to me, the scene where Viola first meets Olivia. I just think it's so funny when Viola comes in and doesn't know whether Maria or Olivia is the lady of the house. "The honorable lady of the house, which is she?" / "Most radiant, exquisite, and unmatchable beauty—I pray you, tell me if this be the lady of the house, for I never saw her. I would be loath to cast away my speech—" etc etc. There's a lot of Twelfth Night influence just b/c there's a lot of like mistaken identity stuff and being in love with someone while they're in love with someone else etc etc all that good stuff. I also think the scene where Viola has to woo olivia is just like. Hot. To be fair tho, J2 is kinda doing the opposite here, he's letting Porter down easy abt the breakup. It's a loose pull but i like the idea of J2 being so out of his element he doesn't even know he's in the right place.

“ What are you?” “I… can’t say. An olive branch? A… A best kept secret, maybe. Between you and the guy up top.” “A secret?” “A parting gift.” But also “What am I?” “That. But also why are you here? A beat. “I’m…” Finally, J2 settles on, “A messenger?” and “It’s—he wants to insist he’s not at war, here.” “Well, that’s a damn shame" is so this Twelfth Night exchange to me:

^^^ to elaborate (sorry i didn't wanna type it out): Idk the viola n olivia vibes in this whole scene not just this part are so flirtaeous and i liked the mentions of war and divinity. Like Porter is the god of war and yet the clones existing as this kind of olive branch. And there's this question of What J2 Is. And there isn't really an answer to that. I liked this idea of him being a secret. A gift. The line "to your ears divinity, to any others profanation" was just. ough.

I'll do this like. It's a big block of text so:

The fluorescence flickers. Mindless, as if purely out of routine, he makes his way over to the sink, to the cabinets full of mugs and glasses. J2 spots Jace’s immediately—it’s purple, with a slogan from his favorite podcast. He snatches it by the handle and throws it against the floor, where it shatters into a million pieces. He thinks about Jaceprime, and about being Dispelled. Despite the fear he can feel rising in his chest, making it hard to breathe, he thinks for another long moment. What a satisfying crash. He wonders if his fear of oblivion is unique to simulacra, or if it's something Jaceprime also has to grapple with every day. He wonders about the weird glowing gem in his chest, and how Jaceprime always refers to a time Before, with him and The Big Guy, but refuses to say outright what happened. He thinks about Porter—and of rage. He stares at the shattered pieces of the cup on the ground. And after a moment of serious contemplation, he grabs another mug off the shelf, and he does it again.

Anyway^^^: That's a reference to The Haunting of Hill House! Both the show and the movie. Theodora says it in both versions. Here's the anecdote I love so much:

“When I was a child,” Theodora said lazily, “—'many years ago,‟ Doctor, as you put it so tactfully—I was whipped for throwing a brick through a greenhouse roof. I remember I thought about it for a long time, remembering the whipping but remembering also the lovely crash, and after thinking about it very seriously I went out and did it again

The variation from the show also includes something along the lines about "I learned a lot about my own mother that day. Taught her, too." which I completely forgot is such a movie special but. I think was also so vital to why I loved that line and wanted to include a nod to it. Like. I've already talked about this but i wanna reiterate that I do not feel bad making motherhood comparisons w/ Jace and the clones b/c he is their creator! He is their frankenstein! Anyway, the imagery of like, getting satisfaction out of doing something destructive, and then doubling down out. Even if you get repercussions from your parent. Or maybe because of that. Maybe spite is the motivator. It was so striking. I think we tend to get this perception of J2 as this soft baby boy but this is one of my fav moments of his because it's so impotent and petulant. It's so him trashing a bathroom to have some semblance of power. J2 has so little power, but he can destroy Jace's favorite mug! (also, yes it was a complicated woman podcast mug. Also in IYWD Jace mentions the fact that he started bringing crappy mugs to work bc his kept disappearing and this was kinda a nod to that.)

"I—Fuck, Porter! Why don’t you just tell me what to do!" Ok, this is also pretty broad. Pulling from a few things here. I mean. This is very Pearl-coded to me. I still think about that scene to garnet where she says "I'm useless on my own. I need someone to tell me what to do". Also Please don't laugh, I have an old Hugh grant comedy that's my favorite and there's a scene where the son is having an argument w/ his mom and when he says "Because we never have any discussions, we have an argument, and you always win! Why don't you just tell me what to do" and she goes "Because I want you to think for yourself!" and then he's like fine then mom its not up to you if hugh grant is my friend even if he did pretend to have a two year old son so he could sleep with the single moms at the single parent support group. I love this movie btw. which i've already said like the paternal connotations to godhood mean i don't feel TOO bad when Porter's vibe gets weird and paternal. There's also a definite "I want someone to tell me what to wear in the morning. I want someone to tell me what to wear every morning fleabag vibe. I mean. Who said that.

“I—I’m not a consolation prize, Porter,” I think this is technically broad enough to not be a when harry met sally reference, but Sally does say this to Harry when he's trying to apologize to her and he's basically like "lol if neither of us have a date to the new york party we can go together" which. If that's not the vibe for whats going on. Filling in a spot because the other person is lonely.

“I want you. I’m only here for so long, and all I know is. I like you, ok?” and “I think you’re right.” J2 is working to keep his voice steady. “We both know that I was made for you. Literally. But more importantly… I like you. I know that much.” This is such a weird pull but this is such a Parks and Rec "I love you and I like you" (evil version) for me. I think there's such an interesting distinction between like and love. There's something so sad about J2 trying to insist, to me anyway, that he would also choose this even if he wasn't destined to love Porter due to being Of Jace. Love is destiny, but "like"? Like has the connotation of. Friendship. New feelings, innocence, juvenile. Just enjoying each other's company. J2 has so little, and he enjoys being around Porter. He loves Porter, but he likes him. It's... almost... adolescent. But it's also very. Forget the sweeping romance. I would do laundry and taxes with you.

“I like you, too, Bluejay.” I mean. Barely a reference but we all know Bluejay is so Hey, little Songbird coded from hadestown. I've joked about this but legit i was so so so so so terrified to give J2 a nickname to individualize him b/c i was so scared of completely blowing it. And I was just like. This is BARELY an individualization. He likes blue. Is that the dumbest thing ever. Obviously the concept of ownership is so prevalent in almost, and J2 is so comforts of a gilded cage coded. He's the precious gift, the one who learns to love the cage that Jace rejects. He's ESPECIALLY hey little songbird coded to me, b/c it's about Jace running away (Persephone) and Porter finding someone else to replace him (Eurydice).

“Hey. What’s with the silent treatment?” says Porter. “Cat gotch’er tongue?” Um. Hey. Little songbird. Cat got your tongue? Always a pity for one so pretty and young... No excuse.

I'll pair it with Porter rises from his desk, and J2 is in the embrace of his arms. and It feels so good being in Porter’s arms. and “I can make it go away,” says Porter, so softly—tenderly—even as he tightens his grasp on J2, secure. etc etc. Because that's not like. As on the nose but that's ALL Hadestown comforts of a gilded cage imagery. Someone who could love these walls that hold her close, and keep her safe, and think of them as my embrace. etc etc. Just. This idea of J2 running away from somthing and straight into the trap that was so heartbreaking to me. "Strange is the call of this strange man. I wanna fly down and feed at this hand. I want a nice soft place to land. I wanna lie down forever." etc. Even as he's getting this like. Horrible revelation about the truth of what Porter did to jace, and he's feeling this new fear that this could be him, he was built to find comfort here. He was raised to find comfort here. Porter wants everything. And J2 owns nothing, not even himself. "Seeing as you've got nothing to lose, and I could use a canary"

To go to something... maybe funnier? Maybe not. Again. Silly pull. J2 sniffs. Finally, he braves a look up, blinking back tears as he says, “Can… you just hold me a little longer?” Porter’s smile makes him forget all else. “Of course.” Like. This doesn't take place in chapter 7, but to me, this is the smoking gun that J2 and Porter were always going to sleep together (i mean, they already have, but in a Mega Turbo Detect Thoughts Sex Trick Orgasm Way). This is actually something from When Harry Met Sally! Sally says this to harry when she's crying about her ex getting married. And he holds her and gives her a kiss and this is the first time they sleep together. Like this is so Hurt/Comfort (evil version) of that scene to me, and the nature of like, comfort that turns into sexual tension is fascinating to me. And like. There's something so comedic and pathetic and cloying about the way she asks it too. Like. The desperation but also the slight comedy of it.

I'll also say, if you wanna read this into it too. I do this this is All I've Ever Known (evil version). "all i've ever known is how to hold my own, but now I wanna hold you, hold you close, I don't wanna ever have to let you go. Now I wanna hold you hold you tight, I don't wanna go back to the lonely life" etc etc

 “He still loves you, you know.” / Jace is... “ —A good guy,” he insists hard, / “I—I know we are… of the same. But—I don’t understand it. If—” / “Porter, gods, Porter, if I loved you the way my master loves you…” / "How does he love me?”  OK. So this entire scene is a little bit Handmaiden coded in that it's like. Ohhhh what if we were fucking and I was pretending to do this in service of teaching you what the person you're supposed to be with and what they would do this is just instructional i prommyyyyy.

But Also this whole Thing to me I was taking on a kind of. Like. Reverse Twelfth Night thing? Like, the concept is very much closer to Orsino and Viola's deal, in that Viola loves Orsino while Orsino loves olivia (Say that some lady, as perhaps there is, hath for your love as great a pant of heart as you have for Olivia! You cannot love her, you tell her so. Must she not then be answered?". "I am all the daughters of my father's house. And all the brothers too") But I do really like the idea of Viola having to convey the depth of Orsino's longing for Olivia by using her own pining for Orsino. That's littered throughout this scene. There are a ton of nods to the exchange. "How does he love me" is a direct quote. There's also this:

If I did love you in my master’s flame, With such a suff’ring, such a deadly life, In your denial I would find no sense. I would not understand it.

But yeah it's this idea of like. J2 is channelling jace and getting extremely horny about it. He's imainging the depth of Jace's longing and he finds it genuinely moving. He things Porter deserves that. but also. J2 is using his own longing here, and essentially giving Porter a gift because he knows the depth of that longing would mean more to Porter if it was from Jace. Which of these is the truth? Maybe both

"With adorations. With fertile tears. With groans that thunder love. With sighs of fire" This is the only thing that is like. A direct quotation of something Viola says in Twelfth Night, and I just think its so horny and honestly? Effective. Why ruin a good thing?

OK! Last one!

J2 is getting what he wants. He gets to be by Porter's side, despite the risk. (And in his memories, Jace looks so happy. Doesn't Porter deserve that, too?) So why does this feel like… death? Like he’s dissolving into snow—dissipating in the warmth of the sun? That’s how it works, right? He doesn’t know that much, but it feels true, doesn’t it? When your heart breaks, you should die.

Like.... Am i gonna get stoned for this? Do I have the right in invoke Tony Kushner? Do i deserve this? I'm being so real here, this is one of those "janelle is using paradise lost to talk abt jaceporter" things that just feels deeply WRONG.

Anyway. This is 100% and Angels in America reference. And I... It feels a little wrong to put Jaceporter fanfiction and such a beautiful piece of art in the same breath but here we are. The line is:  "I don’t understand why I’m not dead. When your heart breaks, you should die. But there’s still the rest of you." Like... I just think that line is so sad and beautiful. Am... Am I allowed to do this??? Like. It doesn't feel right. It felt right to put it there. It was so clear in my mind. It just felt so emotionally true... J2 is so green... And it's this like. Invocation that he's a person but he's a simulacra. he's animated snow. How does being a person even work. How does it work when you've been robbed of your purpose?

It's just. That's how it should work, right? When your heart breaks, you should die.

Anyway. Thank you for my long winded nonsense. Genuinely sorry this took so long.

[momonica05]

Jack Jack - my tav for the "jack of all trades" achievement!

My urge to info dump about an oc won so now please, meet my son: Jack Jack (I don't know how to make a good blog post on tumblr, so I apologize if the images are a little too big)

JJ wasn't born a tiefling. He actually came from a family of humans, but he has no recollection of it outside of his father and grandparents, whom he hates with all his heart

At the age of 6, his father disobeyed his patron (for a good reason, but he doesn't know that, hehe). But instead of punishing his father directly, JJ was the target. He was turned into a Mephistopheles tiefling that day, and his family was horrified. He remembers the look of pure hatred and fear from his grandparents, shouting at him, saying he was now a devil. He doesn't remember his father's face, but he remembers his fingers, pointing at the door, and his husky voice "get out"

Since then, he had to live at the city of Baldur's Gate all by himself. He had some friends, partners, and even a mentor (which the dream visitor had taken form of)... but he never got back what he lost that day: love and identity

He spent a good portion of his life, mainly his adolescence, trying to "fit in". He even cut his horns off, which he regretted later down the road as he's now more confident in who he is. Beeing cursed by a devil at the age of 6, as one might imagine, was no easy feat. And aside from gaining an appearance that everyone deemed as "hellspawn", he also gained powers. Powers in which he can not control very well, but powers nonetheless (sorcerer wild magic)

After a whole life of stealing, performing, trying out magic and needing to run because uh oh you accidentally sumoned a troll in a bar! He... well, his life continued shit, but he never gave up. He had some not so trustworthy friends, but hey, as long as they're not a devil or a warlock, he's a very social guy!

Before he was captured by the mindflayers, he was actually planning on traveling around! He wanted to get all his skills worked on. Maybe study a bit more of his magic, as a wizard.... maybe becoming a bard with his musical talent... hell, maybe he'd finally accept his calling for the rogue life! The opportunities were endless!

That is until, of course, he got a tadpole in his mind... but eh, he was planning on traveling one day anyways, so why not use this as an excuse? (definitely not frightened at all haha what do you mean?)

So far, he's really enjoying his adventure! Here's what he thinks about each companion:

Lae'zel: heh, she wants to kill me! (nervously sweating and trying to do what she says because he's terrified, but also really likes her interrogation methods!)

Shadowheart: she's hiding something. She ain't fooling me...

Astarion: he's also hiding something, never EVER trust the snobs from the upper city.... unless, of course, you want their money/sleep with them. (thinks Astarion is a less hot version of him, with how similar they act. Except JJ actually has a soft spot for children and little rascals, so he'll always help them. He's more chaotic good)

Gale: i really liked him and wanted him to teach me how to do magic safely, but never mind! He just ate my magic spear, which doesn't seem very safe...

Wyll: he makes me angry with how he challenges my morals, okay? you shouldn't be nice! You're a warlock! (has a mental breakdown watching Wyll get transformed like he did and wonders if his father was a good man like Wyll all along)

Karlach: I was deadset on killing her... turns out she's not a devil! just a person like me! i really like her (wants to kill Zariel and enter rage like Karlach one day)

BONUS:

He knew damn well what he was getting into but opened the door anyways and said he was gonna write a smut about it (he's batshit insane)

Anyways... I guess that's it. That's all I have for now, I haven't progressed much into the game... sorry if his information is a little scattered around, I don't have it organized and probably didn't mention somethings (he chose his name, for example)

[essayofthoughts]

For the commentary ask game, because the first bits of this passage with the implied color-changing made me feral:

(His scars ache. Sootstains creep up his arms when he sleeps, when the nightmares come out. He wakes to find himself sootstained to his shoulders, charcoaled up his arms, shadows stretching for his neck and heart. It fades in waking hours, as his heart slows to steady, as the memories ebb back, but he knows what calls them up. 

Colourpoint, that’s what it’s called, a particular expression of albinism to do with temperature, and he wonders what it means that it’s when his heart races in fear, keeping him warm with terror and adrenaline, that the cold-triggered shadows choose to spread.

Well. He’s a tiefling now. Why would it ever operate by the rules of science? Magic obeys no such strictures.

Nor do nightmares.

The scars on his chest are pale flesh, human tones. He knows - not remembers, knows - the colour he’d been before this change had come upon him: his old scars carry the colour forward, whatever was left inside ripped out to the surface.

He remembers scalpels. He remembers blood, and burning, and brands pressed to his skin, the smell of sizzling skin and fat and pain starker than anything he’d known before or since. He remembers stitches, neat marks dot-dot-dot aside some lines left by scalpels. Wonders: was I always this? Did I only dream being different? But the hands that hold and hurt him in the dream - a doctor’s hands, nails clipped short, brusque and purposeful with every touch - do not reach for the horns that stretch from his brow, do not strap down the tail that whips at his ankles as his wrists and ankles were.

It had to be Ripley. Who else would have been able?)

So. If the Tiefling change is due to Orthax (which it is) and soot and smoke are markers of Orthax's influence, I love-love-love the idea of that soot and shadow showing the sway of that influence? Orthax has the most influence when Percy is upset, grieving, angry, when it's easiest to pull Percy towards vengeance ("did I even want vengeance before you?") and we know that Orthax first got it's claws into Percy in a dream!

So I feel like nightmares are when Orthax's influence on Percy is most obvious and easy, and of course when he wakes from nightmares - he's still reeling from them. Nightmares, really clear, bad nightmares, don't just go away on waking, the memories and ideas and thoughts and questions they drag up linger with you once you wake and can leave you uncomfortable and unhappy and even unwell for a while after. I myself have had nightmares where I've needed to talk with someone after because of how off-kilter a nightmare left me.

And then we come to Percy's scars because his scars don't change with the sootstain, at least not the ones from Ripley. This is multi-purpose. I did originally noodle out some ideas for how scars influenced by Orthax might look (and that may yet still come up) but Ripley's scars are 1. ones which formed prior to Orthax's influence on Percy and scar tissue doesn't change as easily as regular skin does and 2. A significant source of emotional pain and upset for Percy and so something it suits Orthax to leave alone anyway. They're also meant as a hint that despite what Percy thinks here, it wasn't Ripley's doing that made him a tiefling - his scars match his old skintone not his new one meaning they healed fully before he changed - but also provide an explanation for why he wouldn't want to dwell on them and think about that.

Also the specific note of "He remembers blood, and burning, and brands pressed to his skin, the smell of sizzling skin and fat and pain starker than anything he’d known before or since." is because sure, most people have no personal experience with torture, but a lot of us know the smell of fat cooking, especially pork which is noted to be similar in taste to human and I love really bringing home that kind of visceral horror. Little things are what can sell the big things.

Send me ~500 words from a fanfic I've written and I'll give DVD Commentary-esque explanation of why I wrote it like that

[5mcsinatrenchcoat]

1 - 5 of the BG3 Act 1 asks for Vice?

BG3 Act 1 Asks (accepting!)

Oh-ho-ho that's a whole ass introduction, let's goooo (and thank you!)

Tell us about your Tav! Name, class and subclass, race, pronouns. Do you have a headcanon for where they're from? Their family? Are they a Dark Urge? Or did you choose an Origin Character? Was it an easy decision?

Name: Vice Class: Barbarian Subclass: Berserk Race: Asmodeus Tiefling Backstory: Urchin Pronouns: she/her

Putting this under read more 'cause trust me I couldn't make this brief even if I wanted to (yay headcanons)

Vice is Baldurian born and raised, in a somewhat more literal sense that one might think. As in, the city did indeed raise her. Her birth name is Volga Redbrook, but she doesn't really remember it. The name, that is. The surname is easier. It's on her parents' gravestones.

Her dad got murdered when she was an infant, and no one bothered to investigate a dead tiefling from a poor family (we've seen first hand how justice in this city works). Her mom hanged around longer, but got sick and also died when Vice was around 8 years old, leaving her an orphan.

If Baldur's Gate has any children protection services to speak of, then Vice never met them. For some time she skulked around the now-empty place they used to live in, but no living space stays empty for long, so she very quickly found herself on the streets. And with streets came trouble.

Stubborn by nature, constantly hungry and angry about it (the fuck do you MEAN you can't spare one damn apple you stupid asshole vendor--), she got tossed around more than once.

That's until one day, when she got in big trouble with the Fists for getting caught stealing, another urchin showed up and snatched her away. A teenage orc girl built like a fighter, with a burn scar on her face and a short boyish cut. She brought Vice to her hideout where she's been collecting similarly lost kids kind of like an older version of Mol. Their own little gang of survivors with no one to look after them but each other.

Now, Uretir, or Ur as they all called her, was about 14-15 years old herself, but to 10 years old Vice she seemed an impossibly cool adult older sister who can do everything and anything. She was strong, she dared to get into guards' faces if needed, she was larger than life. She also taught all of them to steal, to sneak, to lie, to parkour across the city's architecture if needed, and to fight.

Guess who Vice's guardian looked like.

It's in that group that Vice actually took her virtue name, Vice, 'cause it was indeed her own vices that repeatedly got her into trouble. Her stubbornness, her anger, her independence.

She used to be both impossibly angry at the world, especially those richer and more well-off than them, and ashamed of her anger, 'cause, well, it's not a good thing to have, is it? Never does her any good, certainly.

Ur used to say that they didn't need what the rich folks had. That those were stupid and complacent, not seeing shit under their own noses. Someone to be conned and robbed and tricked and laughed at, not anyone to envy. Not anyone to fear either. Ur used to say that everything they needed they already had in them. Their hands, their wits, their strength. Their crew. Ur also used to say that Vice's anger is nothing to be ashamed of. If she has it in her, then it's her tool to wield, to make herself stronger and more resilient. All she had to do was to learn how to harness it to her advantage instead of an obstacle.

Vice took the first part of advice to heart, which makes her incredibly frustrating to every character in the current plot who tries to bait her with power. She has her hands, her sword, her wits and her lies, her lockpicks and her strength. And also her friends. That's enough.

Uretir got killed in a scuffle when Vice was about sixteen. No one showed up to help, not a guard, not a citizen, no one. By the time the rest of them got there, there was no saving their sister.

So that's when Vice saw crystal clear the second part of that advice and made her rage her fuel. Let's just say that Ur's murderers didn't leave that alley alive either.

And Vice? Well, she's a 'barbarian' since. A sneaky, stealthy, lockpicky, smiley and deceiving berserk that will not hesitate to go off if you give her a reason to. The fact that she grew into her considerable height and build only helps her with that.

In the course of the next ten years their gang grew apart without Ur to hold them together. A lot of them decided to join the guild. Vice, however, was too sick of losing people, so she went the loner route, living it up while stealing and squatting, Disney Aladdin style (but without an animal sidekick).

The nautiloid actually snatched her up right in the middle of being chased after a robbery gone wrong, so? Successful getaway, I guess?

Now she has a whole squad of weirdos she'd really rather keep from dying and a girlfriend who's MUCH too close to death for comfort, which totally doesn't keep Vice painfully awake at night. Can she keep ANYONE in this godsdamn life.

(As for the question of whether it was easy to choose - I'm a sucker for custom characters, so hell yeah. Vice is a simple Tav, as you can see by the detailed backstory. I honestly never considered Dark Urge for my first playthrough, although it does look interesting if I ever manage a new character!)

Was there something about the character creator that just couldn't capture your Character? Please tell us about their hair, facial hair, tattoos, piercings, disabilities, their trans or intersex body, or anything else you're comfortable sharing.

Well, the thing is, I didn't go into the game with a pre-made character in mind. My only frame of reference was my Early Access character - and I last played EA in, like, summer of 2021, so I don't even remember what I named her. So after playing around in the character creator to see what's what I returned to my EA concept and went from there. 'Cause let me tell you, the new body type alone completely changed the whole vibe. I also decided not to go the non-canon way with the skin color.

But you can still see the roots. The eyes, the horns, the red hair, the general face preset I'm pretty sure. (Why aren't we allowed to color our eyebrows anymore though...)

All in all I'm majorly happy with how Vice turned out. Mayhaps the only thing I'd personally do is make her boobs smaller, 'cause that my general preference for my characters whenever I can control it, but let's be honest not every game lets you do that, so I'm content with letting her breast boobily and whatever. Anything for that height and those guns.

I'll admit I chose her scars all willy-nilly in character creation and now every time I notice them I'm like.

Someone tried really hard to either slit this girl's throat or behead her. I'm yet to decide which and how the hell she survived that.

And I'm pretty sure she just got that tattoo to be edgy and finds it very ironic now that there's an actual bullshit sitting in her eye.

(The only things I find annoying are the glitches like the light colored horns - which has thankfully been fixed - and the glitchy nail color that's been going on with tieflings. Not sure if the second one is still around)

Has your Character been using their illithid powers?

Ha, no. The aforementioned part about not wanting or trusting offers of power and authority and yada yada plus her general stubborn yuck about everything connected to mind flayers made sure of it. She's girlbossing her way through encounters based on sheer ability to lie and/or intimidate. And also a bit of me savescumming. Sue me.

Although to be completely honest I did fuck up on that a bit. I completely missed the fact that the Survival Instinct ability is linked to a tadpole (kinda got used to new abilities just popping up on the panel 'cause I equipped something new and forgot or leveled up or whatever). So I used it a few times and only stopped when the goddamn Embrace Your Potential quest updated and I went "SHIT".

I usually roll with the punches like that, and so was born the headcanon of Vice using the ilithid power unconsciously a few times because she got too scared about a friend - or lover - getting hit too hard in a fight.

She did very much stomp on the very-special tadpole the Emperor gave her. He wasn't pleased, she didn't care.

Do you remember in which order you recruited your companions? Which companion introduction would have felt the most familiar / like home to your Tav / Character?

Okay, let's see. Vice rescued Shadowheart from the pod (failed the strength check miserably and had to use the actual smarts but she got it done), so they landed close by. After which she immediately attempted to steal the shiny artefact thingy from the unconscious girl and had to very convincingly pretend that she was just checking on her upon being caught. So, uh, an interesting start to the relationship. (SH did seem to believe her though)

Astarion was second and he got successfully headbutted for being a little shit (ouch the horns). I also accidentally missed the first scene in camp - or multiple??? - because the very first night we made camp he was already trying to bite Vice. Which she didn't let him do. Their relationship is the rockiest of the whole party, but we're hopefully getting there.

Then came Gale whom Vice dragged from the portal by the muscle alone. She didn't really knew what to think of him for the longest time. Wizards and their hubris are so very much beyond her expertise.

Then of course she saved Lae'zel. Or does she technically count as the first companion, considering the nautiloid? Anyway, Vice's attitude frustrated her considerably for the first half of the Act, but Vice was actually chill about her from the get go. She understands angry. She understands surviving. Doesn't understand the superiority complex, but she got very good at shutting it down, so. (They became good friends later).

Karlach actually was recruited before Wyll 'cause I got nervous I was making too many long rests (got burned in EA once) and speedran directly to her location, past the fake paladins and everything. So Wyll basically recruited himself by showing up at camp. And Vice is glad that he did, 'cause he's an awesome guy and she likes him the best out of her male friends in the group.

As far as familiar/like home part goes… Look, I'm going to be very predictable and say Karlach. Because of many things really. Apart from the fact that Vice's gay ass immediately went "Hot 😳" at the first sight. First and foremost, while all the other companions thus far had been all gloomy and/or secretive (can't call Gale gloomy by any means but he sure as heck was sketchy with his humor shield), Karlach was open and loud and generally optimistic right from the get go, which Vice, who generally survives in the same manner, was tremendously relieved to see. She was also a fellow strong and angry barbarian at that and immediately in that first fight they matched each other step for step, which was also very refreshing. She was ALSO a fellow Baldurian street kid, as it soon appeared. It just clicked. If they hadn't fallen for each other eventually, they'd be the best of friends otherwise, there's no other option.

Do you remember the first humanoid enemy your Character killed? Was it the first person they've ever killed, in your opinion? Would they have been bothered by it?

Now this is a hard one. Do imps count? Does a dying mind flayer, who's skull she stomped on upon finding him? Or are we skipping till goblins at the grove?

Either way, as mentioned, Vice first killed a person, or rather multiple, when she was sixteen. So no, by that point - and she's around 26 in the main story - any of those were hardly her first. She was more bothered by the nature of everything happening (you don't get that kind of action on the city streets okay?) than the general killing she had to do. It's just a part of survival.

Tips of her horns are permanently stained red for a reason.

[thenugking]

Percy, 13, 17, 21, 24, 26, 29

13. What is your Tav’s main color palette? Why do they choose those colors?

Percy likes blues. It’s mostly just That’s The Colour She Likes but I think it fits that she likes to go for a cooler colour palette than anything more flashy. Until ofc she ascends Astarion and they “jointly” agree she needs to update her wardrobe to match his. At which point her colour palette is red, black and silver and she chose those colours entirely of her own free will so she and her boyfriend can look good together.

She switches back to blue quickly after leaving Astarion for Mizora--although the blues are maybe a bit bolder than they were before. This one is genuinely Percy’s choice, but she’s still very much trying to look good next to Mizora. (It’s a healthier relationship, not a healthy one.)

17. Do they have any enemies outside of the main plot? Any friends?

Y’know despite being a conflict averse people pleaser who wants to get along with everyone, Percy is very bad at making friends. She’s on Good Terms with a whole lot of people, but as for actual friends, I can’t think of any. 

She doesn’t make many enemies either, outside the main plot and taking on all of Astarion’s enemies. The only real one is Sister Rose the Penitent at the temple, which in fairness, is mostly due to Rose’s massive tiefling racism. But I think they both have a very fake-friendly passive-aggressive, “I’m the best servant of Ilmater” competitive thing going on, covering up seething hatred.

21. Describe a defining moment from their past, which makes them who they are today!

See I don’t think Percy ever had a big Defining Moment as much as just… a long slow build up of little moments. I guess joining the temple of Ilmater is the big thing. I think she visited to make use of the soup kitchen one time as a teenager when her family weren’t doing well, feeling guilty about it because they technically had food, just not enough for a full decent meal a day. She ended up talking to a priest about the guilt, and the very well meaning priest suggested that if she felt she had to pay the temple back, they were always looking for volunteers to help out. And things slowly went downhill from there.

24. What does your Tav consider to be their own biggest character flaw?

Obviously that she doesn’t help enough, that some nights she gets an entire six hours of sleep like a selfish, lazy monster, and she’s never jumped into a lake to save a drowning orphan.

Also, though I think it would take a lot for her to admit it even to herself, that she’s sometimes kind of resentful of her kids.

26. Give us one of your Tav’s secrets!

I mean I think the big secrets are all the Resentments and, at least pre-game, feeling sexual desire and being kind of Intrigued by Loviator.

Post-game, she doesn’t tell anyone when Mizora turns up again, and starts suggesting that Percy can be so much worse better than stuck living as Astarion’s pet. Or that, despite using the Mirror of Loss to forget most of the shitty things she’s done, she never actually followed Astarion’s suggestion to forget about the affair she had with Mizora. 

29. What fears keep them up at night?

Most of the things Percy worries about, she just looks into the Mirror of Loss so she doesn’t have to stay up worrying!

But she’s at least not a terrible enough mother to erase her kids. She worries that she’s never going to see them again, and that Astarion isn’t going to keep his promise to totally definitely turn them, or let Percy become a full vampire so she can turn them, and then they can all live as a happy vampire family together, and her kids will be so grateful for eternal life they won’t be upset at her for anything again. Sometimes she worries that they maybe even aren’t ever going to forgive her for leaving them and that she might not be able to make up for some of her Dubious Choices as a mother by giving them eternal life and inviting them to live in a big fancy mansion with her. Or even that they might not appreciate her offer to turn them into vampires for some reason.

[astarionancuninswife]

For the Tav Ask questions: 8 from the general list, 3, 5, 6, 10, 13, 15 for the story list, 1, 2, 6, 7, 11 for the romance list. let me know alllllll about miss luci <3

Ooo, big list of questions!! Let's get to it then!!

Companion!Tav Ask List | askbox

General

8. What do they say when the Player Character asks them to stay in camp? How about when the Player Character asks them to come adventuring again?

When being asked to stay in camp: "Aw, really? But we're adventure buddies!" (Please, just stay.) "Okay, fiiiine, but if you find any neat books, I call dibs before Gale!" When being asked to come adventuring again: "YES! I mean, lead on! Ever at your service, friend!"

Story Specific

3. How do they react to Astarion biting the Player Character?

"Oh, he's a vampire... Huh, I would've never thought, I didn't realize they really existed. Wait, you let him what?! ... Interesting." (Luci approves.)

5. How do they react to the Player Character taking their first tadpole power?

"Okay, now, I'm usually always for trying new things and eating anything but... nah, that's just gross. There's no sugary way to say that."

6. Will they stay with the Player Character regardless of siding with the goblins or the tieflings, or is it possible for them to leave the party permanently?

Luci will leave if the player sides with the goblins, considering she's a tiefling herself. She may not have been raised around other tieflings, but those are still her people. She gets a significant boost of approval if they side with the teiflings, though!

10. How do they react if the PC licks the dead spider in the Gauntlet of Shar?

"... I would've done the same, I can't even judge you for that. Huzzah for curiosity, I think?"

13. How do they react to the PC either allowing Astarion to ascend or convincing him to spare the 7000 spawn?

If Astarion ascends: "Well, let's hope this doesn't bite us in the butt... or the neck." If he's convinced to spare the 7000 spawn: "I'm proud of him, he's come far from the Astarion we first met. Maybe I'm, err I mean we're rubbing off on him."

15. How do they react when the Dark Urge first reveals their amnesia and murderous thoughts to them?

"... Okay, so what we're going to do is sit here and talk this out. What are we thinking right this second? And do you think you can just... I don't know... just not act on them? Or maybe give me all your weapons..."

Romance

1.Is your Tav a romanceable character? Are there any specific requirements to romancing them?

I think Luci would definitely be a romanceable character!! I think you just have to go with the kinder options, but also be adventurous to get her approval up.

2. Does your Tav need to be flirted with to start the romance, or will they approach the PC themselves if approval is high enough?

She would have to be flirted with, I think, but her options would be very obvious because she's a bit oblivious. She would approach the player if her approval is high enough though!

6. How do they react to the player character breaking up with them, or choosing another character over them?

"Oh... I, hm... Give me a moment, please... I appreciate your honesty and value the fact you hold enough respect for me to tell me how you feel. You deserve the world, and if I'm not the one to give it to you, I'm glad at least [other character] is able to have a chance to. But once he/she steps out of line, come to me. I'll straighten them out, these claws aren't just a fashion trend, ya'know?"

7. What questions can Zethino ask the PC about Tav in the Love Test?

"A jack of all trades, what is her favorite hobby she has picked up?" (Reading or traveling.) "Such a bright light in the world, but behind the glow, there's fear. What is she most scared of?" (Being alone.) "Luci had a tough beginning to life, but she was saved by a wise teacher. What's the most important piece of advice she hass internalized?" (Just as kindness and respect can be given, it can be taken away as well.)

11. What are Tav’s plans for the future? Do they propose to the PC, or is marriage not something they’re interested in?

Luci would suggest marriage, but also be sure to make it known she'd be happy with them either way, and she'd prefer a few more adventures before a wedding or anything. She does want to keep traveling for as long as she can, so either way, she'd going to keep planning journeys around Faerûn with or without the player!

[rottenbrainstuff]

BG3 playthrough - completely finished under Moonrise

Wow, oh wow.

From the top: first we had fight #1 with Ketheric. I made sure not to kill Kar’niss earlier because I thought I’d have an opportunity to talk to him on the roof, but nope! We just jumped straight into fight #1, and then he was just a large extra hassle to deal with. I felt SO bad killing him, because I had to incapacitate him somehow, and my bard has really good fear spells so that’s normally what I use. It felt really crummy making this poor guy cower while I slowly chop him down. Sigh. (hey what comes out of those incubating death rock egg things? I was too scared to see and killed them all immediately)

Man. I couldn’t stop staring at Ketheric’s eyes though. Even on lower rendering settings, you can see they clearly spent a TON of effort on his eyes specifically. Man, guys. You must have had a special task team that worked for months just specifically on rendering his wrinkles, and the glassy rheumy effect of his eyes. Holy shit. It’s such a cool direction to take, set up your baddie as this awful, ruthless general with all the battle remains and the chilling letters, make him creepy as fuck with the goblin and the axe demonstration, then also put a shitton of effort into making him also just a really really sad really really old man. I love it.

Then after that: wading through the mindflayer colony. Online says that the companions who have extra dialogue or cutscenes in here are Wyll, Gale, and Karlach, but :( :( :( that leaves no room for Astarion? I decided to not have Karlach. Sorry babe. And anyways, without Astarion, who else is going to take out poor old Chop in one single merciful blow?

I rescued Zevlor from the pods, thank god, thank GOD finally. (hilarious to see his tail poking out the back there) My tav has been upset about him for weeks here. Goddamn, poor guy, he’s been thralled by the Absolute but doesn’t care what you tell him, he puts the blame on himself. Even when you tell him it’s not his fault he was enthralled, he still says that that might be true, but whatever the Absolute does, it starts with something that’s already inside you. Buddy, my buddy. And they programmed so many different ways to get angry with him and blame him. Why? Why do you even want to blame this poor guy who is already blaming himself more than you ever could? I mean at best he was enthralled and couldn’t help it, but at worst he just made a bad decision that he honestly and immediately regretted entirely and was disgusted by. Leave this poor old man alone. He won’t even get angry if you pick the most aggressive and mean dialogue options, he just agrees. Sigh. Back with the other tieflings, you can mention to Cerys that you found Zevlor, and she will just be angry at him for letting them down when they needed him. And I mean. Yes that’s valid but damn it makes me sad. Poor sad old man. Anyways he leveled up in the time we were away, and he is a mean fighter now! Nice! I wish he could have stuck around longer. That was an awfully short conversation, for as much as it was all built up, with all the other tielfings mentioning how angry at him they were! Is this REALLY the only interaction we have with him now until act 3???

DAYUM this area is shitty for a resisting dark urge. So many lovely horrible things down here. Wow. My poor tav, he needs a big long rest to process all of this, but after you’re done everyone wants to talk and there’s a big old cutscene coming up. Poor guy, no rest for you.

THE MIND JARS: wow ok. So at the very beginning of the game, you found those two green brain jars on the nautiloid. Hopefully you stuck them in your storage, or maybe you thought they were useless and you just sold them. EIther way, I’m pretty sure it didn’t occur to you to bring them with you when you went into the Moonrise pit? Why WOULD you think to bring them? It’s too bad if you didn’t, because in this area is the only machine in the game that lets you use these jars, and once you find the machine and realize what it’s for, you can’t travel back to your trunk to get them, and you ALSO won’t be able to return later on. So. Tough luck. Me, I was travelling with my team of 8 str weenies, and every mind jar I found, I sent straight to my camp! Why wouldn’t I? These guys can’t weigh themselves down with extra shit! By the time I found the machine and realized what it did, there was only one jar left in my inventory that I didn’t send back to camp.

I suppose the jars maybe are supposed to be a fun little easter egg for players who go back and play again. Too bad I’m very willing to reload and redo things for hours and hours lmao. I reloaded just a couple hours and this time brought all the jars with me. Thanks, I hate it! What a horrible and disturbing little touch. Yay. Was my least favourite the child mind, or was it the spooky singing one? Hard to say!

I was shitting my pants when Ketheric turned into the Myrkul apostle form, cause it looked scary, but damn? We just all slammed it a few times and it was totally fine? Very very cool boss though. I loved the little skeletons sitting on his shoulder with the flails. Goddamn Ketheric stayed sad right until the end huh? Driven to do horrible things in a misguided attempt to help his daughter, forsaken by three different gods, and his last dying thought and words were of Isobel. I fucking lost it when I found the little note that he keeps on him. Excellent writing Larian, excellent job of making your good guys flawed and your bad guys sad. Man I love it.

Now I have a shitton of talking and cutscenes to wade through to get to act 3. I absolutely ADORE how when the guardian talks about the elder brain, it is just ever so slightly the wrong reaction, lmao. I love how instead of being just generally horrified that there’s an elder brain there at all, it seems to be really, really indignant that mortals are controlling it. “I mean yes hey let’s go save the people of Baldur’s Gate from being turned into mindflayers, but the audacity! The audacity of putting an elder brain in thrall!” and my tav is like hmmm I feel like that’s an… unusual reaction to this situation….

Astarion is absolutely preening after the fight, saying that he never thought he’d be the one defeating the shadows. Yeah see buddy, it feels good sometimes to play the hero, doesn’t it?

Man, my party is enormous now because of all the summons I have walking around with me. I currently have Scratch, three quasits, a shadow wraith thingamajig, an earth elemental (which oh man I absolutely love) and now, the latest addition, a cambion. The cambion is hilarious. It’s a totally sentient and intelligent thing, but I can’t talk to it at all. I imagine it’s pissed off at being summoned here away from its dinner to do boring bullshit errands for this group of wankers, so it just totally and completely ignores me.

Off to act 3 now! Can’t believe I’m in the final act of the game! Can anyone tell me where I can get my own tall, hot, and intensely devoted aasimar girlfriend?

[relentless-endurance]

For tav!Zalia: 3, 6, 9 from general and 2, 7, 11 from romance?

General

3. Does your Tav have any comments or advice when you recruit other companions?

I can't think of anything specific, but I think it'd revolve a lot around if the person is seemingly trustworthy or not, in early game. I think people who become companions later (Halsin, Jaheira, Minsc) its more about being grateful for fellow druids/experienced heroes on their side.

(She'd highly approve of saving Minsc from the control of the Elder Brain, I think, because it means that people can be saved from the cult of the Absolute. Also because she's supportive of reminding the emperor of his place lmao)

6. Do they have any secrets that can be revealed?  What are the prerequisites for this secret coming to light?

oh yeah easily. The true nature of her beef with the Umberlee worshippers who have been beefing with her, and by proxy everyone else. But this also has another layer as even if she reveals the reason behind that, there's gory details to her childhood and relationship with her mother particularly that she will not reveal until either she is forced to (certain places in Act 2 legitimately triggering her and confronting certain people from her past in early Act 3), or she has decided she trusts the player enough. (late Act 1/early Act 2, if you've proven you'll have her back and not been too nosy/forced her to talk about it).

None of her reasons are dubious of course, she just has a lot of trauma wrapped up in trusting others too easily, and its a big part of her personal quest to help her unpack that.

9. Does your Tav have any escalating conflicts with one of the other companions, like Lae’zel and Shadowheart’s knife-fight?

Okay, so. I think if you side with the goblins in act 1 and have Minthara in your party, she 100% has beef with her that doesn't really let up until probably Act 3. Mostly its extreme distrust and her association with the cult of the absolute. She's also not particularly fond of her sense of humour.

This is assuming you can persuade Zalia to stay if you side with the goblins, as the attack on the grove would be completely abhorrent to her as both a druid and a tiefling.

Romance

2. Does your Tav need to be flirted with to start the romance, or will they approach the PC themselves if approval is high enough?

Both, to a degree. Earning her approval means you've been not only kind, but you've respected her boundaries and shown she can trust you - so that is pretty important. But she's also terrified of letting people in, so you have to make your intentions known.

7. What questions can Zethino ask the PC about Tav in the Love Test? 

idk about new questions but I have thoughts on the answers for the original:

Question 1: A strawberry, soft and sweet.

Question 2: Knees sunk into the soil, tending a garden of flowers.

Question 3: She greatly fears the outstretched hand, she refuses to trust.

11. What are Tav’s plans for the future?  Do they propose to the PC, or is marriage not something they’re interested in?

She wants to go wherever the pc wants to go, hand in hand, unburdened for the first time in her life - she wants to live. But I think eventually she would settle down, marry, and even have a family with the pc.

[saucy-storyteller]

Ha Ivver

Haa Ivver, was a lost child, and I mean that both metaphorically and literally. Haa was abandoned at an orphanage as a new born because of silver skin, grey long horns, and her bright gold eyes. Her luck did not fare any better at the orphanage where she was ostracized and bullied by the other orphans and discriminated by the nuns of the orphanage cause of appearance. View upon as the spawn of the devil, she punished every single day just for her existence. She was tortured with the question of why was she even born in the first place. Resulting in the beginning pf her cutting herself to feel just a sense that she was still alive and that she still holds a certain power in her life, she still have a choice, an ability to choose on whether she’d leave this world.

On her 14th birthday (or her 14th year of existence since she is not even sure herself of when her birthday is). It was just another hot summer day in the orphanage. She was once again running away from her bullies, by this point she know better than to scream for her her best chance was to find a place to hide till they get tired of bored of looking for her.

Unfortunately, she wasn’t so lucky this time (what’s new?). She ran into the chapel, she usually hide under the candle lit stage but this time one of the bullies was waiting for her there. They cornered her and hold her down as one of them grab a candle a drip it onto her face. Haa fight back to the best of her ability she smack one of them with her tail and began to fight back, punching and kicking, she’s no longer willing to take this. As she was punched one of her bullies they ram into the candle causing a fire in the chapel. As they were all running out Haa stayed behind to try to put put the fire but to no avail. In a last minute effort to survive she ran out of the chapel covering in smoke and ash. Leading the nuns and the other orphans to think that she was the one that started the fire.

Fear for her life of what the town and the people at the orphanage will do to her she ran away with nothing on her back but the clothes she’s wearing (should I mention that she was not even wearing her shoes).

She ran so far that she lost them all and also herself. Without any other way to survive she started stealing, but she never had much skill in that matter, what she had was her ability to run away at any trouble that came her way, so that’s how she survived.

But eventually, she couldn’t runway from herself, her self hatred of her tiefling self. If only she wasn’t born this way, maybe she wouldn’t be abandoned by her parents, she wouldn’t be bullied, she wouldn’t have to run, she could have had a better life. All of this self loath made her do the unthinkable. She saw pff her horns so that she could stop being reminded of what she is, but even that wasn’t enough, she could still see her reflection and her silver skin so decided to do the second unthinkable, she blinded herself.

Most people would be dead by this point, but not Haa, she wouldn’t be so lucky. She survived it all, her existence is her curse. She ended up on the street, just sitting there existing, waiting for the day she could stop existing, no food, no water, if she could stop breathing she would have stop that too.

That was when Iroh founded her. He was a human, or at least she think he is. She is not quite sure what he looks like, all she knows is that he was quite big 6’5 maybe 6’6, chubby and smell like tea.

He was the first person that showed her kindness, which of course made her trust him even less. She would not take food nor water from him, she refuse, in her mind this will be how she chose to go, just weathering away slowly in this dark alley.

Fortunately, Iroh would not allow that, he carried her kicking and screaming to where he lives. She’s not quite sure where it is, all she knows was that it was very far, smell like incense, and there was a-lot pf people there, but these guys were different from the people she was used to, they never judge, harm, or treated her unfairly.

She was laying a room for several days, people come in and out tending to her wounds. Iroh never left her side, making her eat and drink, even though she try to fight him at first he just wouldn’t give in.

“What is this place and who are you?”

She asked him

Iroh told her that this is his monastery, where he teach his students the way of the lotus, the balance of the forever changing and chaotic world, and he could teach her too, if she wants, but if only if she wants. He promised not to kick her out even if she refuse and that she could stay here as long as she, she could even live here if she wants.

Through time she began learning the way of the lotus, practicing both the teaching of the lotus which teach balance, and martial arts taught at the monastery. Within 5 years she became one of Iroh most trusted student and advisor. She have finally found her way, now all she wants to do is to safe people like her, and so with Iroh acknowledgment she journey out into the world to try to help where she can, to bring balance to this chaotic world.

[theinsanecrayonbox]

Candi’s Confession

I wrote out the confession scene (with some minor artistic flourishes) because I wanna save the moment. It just made me so happy, and writing it was much faster and fulfilling them trying to illustrate it ^^;

 They were back again, in this room, on this platform. The maelstrom surrounding the machine that powered the dungeon swirled and crackled with energy, but thankfully did not spit out anything this time. Before the party had been nine; they were now down to seven. Both lost in the room just behind them, the room with the beautiful magical machine that also laid in its own ruinous death. One, two, three jumped the void with minor ease; those that couldn’t do so waited for an alternate path across…or should we say an alternate, alternate path, as the primary plan laid in pieces behind them. Familiar with the mechanics of the spell by now, the wizard effortlessly granted two of them the ability to fly across the chasm. That left just them now on the platform, again, him and the warlock. 

 “Looks like we’re jus’ the last men standin’ now, huh?”

 The tortle looked to the tiefling beside him, her words low, her usual confident demeanor very much deflated. The party had started with five all those weeks ago, and until four minutes ago that number had been dwindled down to three (the six other members being picked up along the journey), but not anymore. Loosing the drow hadn’t been that big of a blow, they’d only picked him up a day or so back, but the owlkin…

 “Seems so, yeah,” he looked back across, seeing their companions all making their way out of the machine room into the awaiting hall. “You want to take us across, or should I?”

 “Ah guess Ah can, Ah mean…” she sighed, trying to sort through her thoughts, “Ah jus’…Ah don’ know.”

 “It’s ok,” he reassured, taking her hand without hesitation or invitation this time, “I can do it. I’ve got you.”

 With a thunderous clap the pair were whisked by the spell from one platform to the other, easily covering the expanse of the chasm in an instant no worse for wear.

 “C’mon, the others are waiting.”

 As his hand slipped from hers to go join the others though, she grabbed it back, trying to keep him in place.

 “No, wait a second.”

 He looked back to her, confused. She took a nervous breath, trying to steady herself to do this.

 “Look, after loosin’ Rendalfin like tha’, an’ wha’ we got comin’ up ahead of us, Ah don’ wanna regret leavin’ this unsaid. Plitt, Ah…Ah do believe Ah’s fallin’ somethin’ mighty hard for you.”

 With those words it was like a weight was lifted off her shoulders, only for a dread that was under that to suddenly be given new light and life to thrive. She’d sworn of romantic entanglements when she was younger, fearing becoming her mother if she let herself get distracted like that. Then when she found her way to the magic college, it was even easier since all the magically inclined academics there seemed to be too up on their high horses with flaunting their superior intellects. But not Plitt, not him. At the start of this journey she’d been mad beyond all out that he’d signed up for this expedition too, but chose to work through her personal annoyance to be professional. Yet as time went on, as they drew ever closer to their goal, he didn’t flaunt that he was smarter than she was (and she could admit, and admire, that he was), but instead just encouraged her to work harder and smarter.

 The god of truth in her head stopped her from lying, to everyone she spoke to and to herself it seemed; all this time she’d been afraid of being someone’s lesser and forgotten, when all she wanted was to be someone’s equal and partner…and she was now terrified of loosing that too.

 Meanwhile, he was a bit taken aback by that. The two hadn’t been any sort of friendly terms before coming on this trip (pretty sure he’d never spoken to her before), though it wasn’t hard to hear rumors about the pink tiefling back on campus. So when she’d shown up for the assignment too, he’d been polite and not made a huge deal; they did have a job to do after all, so as long as everyone worked together, what level of friendliness was going on wasn’t that big of a deal. On top of that, he was a tortle, another unique oddity on the magic college campus sure, but nothing that was that interesting. It was that lack of interest that helped push him so far ahead in his studies even. He didn’t really go looking for this sort of thing, and never expected someone (outside his own race) to look for it in him, least of all someone like her. He was at a loss for words.

[Above table though, the other players are all cheering and in full support of this apparently and only half surprised its happening lol]

 “Look, Ah ain’t lookin’ for any type of answer righ’ now,” she continued when he didn’t respond, but also when the logical side of her managed to push back to the forethought, “We still got a lot to do ahead of us, an’ it ain’t gonna be pretty. So why don’ we jus’ agree ta get through this mess together in one piece, so we can have this talk once we get out of this place, ok?”

 He nodded, words still feeling dry on his tongue for the moment. She nodded back, taking a breath to try to put back on her usual in-control face before moving off to go rejoin the others. He felt her letting go of his hand then, but instead gave it a little squeeze, making sure to still hold it. That surprised her a bit, making it now her turn to look back to him.

 “I’ve got you, don’t worry.”

 So he moved with her now, leaving the engine room. Their party wasn’t too far down the hall from the doorway, waiting at the stairs that led down to the next floor. And if any of them noticed the pair of magic nerds holding hands until they were within 10 feet of them, none of them said anything about it. There was still a job to do after all.

[anna-draws-stuff]

Can you tell me more about Gallant and her pact and how she ended up dying and being resurrected?

Oh man I am super late answering it, which is mostly because Gallant's campaign just ended last weekend and I needed some time ;; I hope you don't mind the info dump, there is a LOT!

I tried to label it per backstory bit to make it a bit easier to navigate but I tend to ramble aaaa

It is not a light story by any means, so people wanting to watch out for darker subjects (family death, suicide, etc.) please take caution!

The pact of the Verhoff family

Her pact is one that was passed down her family line for over 400 years, after her ancestor made a deal with the archdevil, Asmodeus, out of desperation. The rapier he carried changed into the blade that would become the symbol of this pact, Azarel.

In the immediate family, both her grandmother and eventually her father would pass the sword down to their heirs.

Gallant (actual name Ariadne 'Chivalry' Verhoff) received the sword and accepted the pact in a ceremony she had been prepared for throughout adolescence. Afterwards, however, she suddenly started to remember things she didn't know she'd forgotten.

Ariadne had an older brother by the name of Dagon, who was said to have left the family to travel and had never returned.

As the pact took hold, she discovered that he too had gone through the ceremony. She had snuck down from her bed to watch as a child, as it was supposed to be a big deal and she was very close with her brother. The sword rejected him, however, and he was burned to ashes.

She quickly realized that this was all wrong, and ran away from her family home in the dead of night.

Ariadne's pact

Ariadne ran off to the neighbouring human nation of Harth, where she found friends in the party that would later be named 'The Wanderers'. She named herself 'Gallant' and tried her best to hide the origin of her newfound magical abilities while also hiding from her family.

Despite this she was plagued by nightmares as the Devil King tried to get a proper grip on her. This all came to a head when she lost consciousness in combat, and he possessed her body to get rid of the thread and warn the party's cleric that he was not to speak to her of other divinities.

This was also when Asmodeus remade his pact with her, and revealed his intentions:

Ariadne was to find the Crown of Asmodeus, gather rubies worth 6000 gold, collect the blood of royalty and descend below the royal palace of Karmir (the tiefling nation). All of this would grant him access to their plane, which he meant to turn into the Tenth Hell.

She tried to outrun and avoid doing this as long as she could, but campaign events caused her to disappear from her regular plane for an extended time. When they returned, Asmodeus accused her of meddling with other entities to avoid her pact and he doubled down.

The descend

This is when shit started to go wild. Her patron caught on that Gallant still did not mean to fulfill her pact, and started to put the pressure on her.

She started getting sick, and was plagued by nightmares - each one meant to make her see that there was no choice but to obey. He would kill her and bring her back to get her if he had to.

She started losing warlock levels and piling on levels of exhaustion as they found themselves in a mad dash from remote swamps to the first nearby city with a church they could find. They would never make it, however, as she started deteriorating too fast on the boat ride there.

Gallant began to see that there was a choice. Her ancestors had made that same choice over and over - out of fear and the preservation themselves, their family and their loved ones.

As much as she loved her family, she decided that that cycle needed to end, and that she would not give in even at that cost. When Asmodeus started to make good on his word of killing her to gain control, she moved quicker.

As she burned Ariadne summoned the hexblade inside of her chest, shattering the gemstone and the pact by doing so - part of the agreement was that he would protect her, after all, and it was the pact blade that would be her end.

The resurrection

She awoke in a place without pain, warm and sunny and pleasant.

There Gallant met a tiefling man who told her his story of martyrdom, and asked her what she had done to get here. Just as she started to catch onto where she might be, the man started to speak to her and revealed himself to be the god worshipped by the party's cleric: Ilmater.

She had been listening when the cleric spoke about his god and beliefs, and always found his words comforting. They resonated with her - even if she couldn't ask more out of fear of Asmodeus' retaliation.

Ilmater acknowledged her suffering, and the way she had martyred herself in a refusal to bring more evil into the world. He proposed an oath, so that she might be the force that was necessary to help heal the world.

Her oath is that of a vengeance paladin, adjusted to suit a god who values peace and healing as much as Ilmater does:

"What if you could go back, and continue to correct the wrongness in the world? Would you do it?

What if you could be a symbol of hope for everyone you’ve seen suffering? A symbol of Restitution? Of healing?

What if you were allowed to be the best version of yourself without penalty, and you could go out into the world and smite the greater evils of the world wherever it may dwell, without mercy for the wicked men or beasts or devils that cause pain for the sake of creating pain?

If you were able to heal the world, By any Means Necessary, would you do it?”

She accepted, and was left with a final blessing before she was returned. She has tried to live up to it ever since!

"Ariadne, I return you to the world. Through your Vengeance, you shall heal the world. You are free of the darkness, and will bring hope and light to everyone you meet."

And that's the end of her story as a warlock, and the start of her story as a paladin!

Sorry for the absolute information dump, but I need to write this up anyway if I want to do a zine for her eventually so I figured I might indulge my after-campaign hyperfocus to do so 👌

The DM for this campaign was the amazing @katnaxel​, she truly took the idea I had for this stupid pink tiefling and went absolutely WILD with her story and the characters involved in it! She also happens to be an amazing artist, so please check out her stuff if you have the time <3

^ ‘The Severed pact’ by @katnaxel 

[shofics]

ahahaha The People Have Spoken

I’m gonna end up putting most of this under a cut, since I apparently have a great many bullet points to share, but a brief brief on this AU:

CW: trans pregnancy, postpartum anxiety, general fear of being a bad parent, mentions of anxiety and depression, PTSD, and hypothetical (perceived, but not real) harm to children.

In this AU Wilde is a trans man, and he and Zolf have sex after the resurrection ritual. Aurelia is an accident, but she is very much chosen and accepted and wanted, because I don’t play w that shit. Both Zolf and Oscar have their hang ups about being parents, but so does everyone. Auri is very loved and cared for.

It’s also a not everyone lives/somebody dies AU, as Sasha makes it back from Rome but Grizzop does not. Sasha is living essentially in Zolf and Oscar’s attic, spending her time helping out Gragg in what remains of Other London.

Azu is living on the first floor, as Zolf’s only just figuring out his mundane prosthetics and doesn’t have any need to go up there much anyway. It’s a good arrangement, since Azu’s been having a hard time of it since Hamid went to go check on his family and Kiko took a job on a merchant ship.

(I also recently realised that Aurelia being conceived in the Northern Wastes means that according to the rules of canon she could totally be a wee tiefling… anyhoo)

Some Facts About Aurelia Wilhelmina Smith

Aurelia: ‘the golden one’

Wilhelmina: ‘resolute protector’, also I may have been rereading Dracula when I came up w her name

She has white hair. Both parents try not to think too hard about it.

Wilde’s sure that if she didn’t have white hair, it would be blonde, like Zolf’s used to be. She has Zolf’s green eyes too, and pointed Dwarven ears, which look silly when she’s very small, but she does grow into them eventually.

(It makes Wilde wonder what Zolf looked like when he was a baby with big ol floppy dwarf ears. Zolf finds this line of inquiry embarrassing.)

Wilde has pretty severe postpartum anxiety. He starts getting antsy about anyone touching her, and hates putting her down so much that he starts going without sleep. Zolf, extremely worried, eventually snaps and manages to argue some sense into him. This is what finally pushes him to pursue getting medicated.

Sasha holds her like she’s a bomb that might go off at any moment, which for Sasha is both a very cautious and a very loving embrace. Barnes holds her like someone’s unexpectedly handed him a loaf of bread he’s not quite sure what to do with. Carter holds her a little too recklessly for either of her fathers to be entirely comfortable, but when sat down he’s surprisingly gentle with her.

Helping raise Auri cements Azu’s desire to eventually have kids of her own. Watching Auri start to grow from a wiggly potato into a real human being makes her incredibly aware of the time passing. The ensuing conversation with Kiko—who, it turns out, doesn’t want children—is upsetting, but it is necessary.

Aurelia’s first word is ‘help’; as in, ‘I can help’. Sasha is the sole witness to this, and does not have the words herself to describe how it makes her feel.

Hamid sews her a stuffed bear that becomes her most prized possession, but as a toddler she has trouble pronouncing ‘teddy’ correctly, so it becomes ‘Tiddy’. Even after her speech progresses, the adults in her life remain unable to convince her to change the name.

She discovers fairly quickly that while Wilde is pretty unshakeable, Zolf has a weak spot and can be convinced to give her sweets when she isn’t technically supposed to have them (E.G. “You have to promise to still eat dinner also don’t tell dad” Aurelia w a mouthful of chocolate: 🫡🤐☺️)

LOVES bath time. Absolutely hates being told she needs a bath.

Ultimate cuddle bug, because she basically grows up in Zolf’s lap, getting wheeled around with him in his wheelchair as he cooks or runs errands. Her safest place is tucked under Zolf’s chin.

Wilde is ‘papa’ or ‘baba’ interchangeably, because when she’s very young it’s hard to tell the difference

Zolf is ‘dada’, ‘dad’, ‘da’, and occasionally ‘mum’ (as in ‘go ask your mother’)

Her accent is fairly generic while still leaning a bit London, as that’s where she grew up, but because of Zolf, there are certain words where she goes a bit Somerset (cooking/sailing terminology, etc.)

Howard Carter is her uncle How; Barnes, after a joke gets made one too many times, accidentally becomes uncle Why. Cel finds infinite hilarity in this, but can’t decide whether they want to be When or What.

Zolf (at least) once goes to check on Auri after bedtime to find that Oscar, while reading her to sleep, has read himself to sleep as well. Her bed is very small and he will regret this when he wakes up with the worst neck pain ever.

When Auri’s a little older, she decides to get a Big Hair Chop and go fashionably (think 1920s!) short. She does, however, keep enough to keep her family braid, a Dwarven tradition.

When she’s thirteen or fourteen, she and some friends decide to skip off school. Someone comes round their house to check if she’s playing hooky or if she’s just home sick or something; since she’s not home sick, and her parents saw her leave for school that morning, they start to panic. Thankfully, nothing bad actually happened, and it doesn’t take long to track her down and bring her home. It is the only time in her life that either parent raises their voice at her.

(Because she knows that there are people in this city who aren’t fans of their family, who without any nuance blame them for the loss of magic. A lot of people who were aristocracy before the war lost their social status and/or wealth afterwards. She knows this; they’ve read some of Hamid’s writings, and even some of Wilde’s, in history class. And she with the white hair, she who stands out. Of course her entire family panicked.)

When she’s about 16, she makes herself really sick stressing about her GCSEs. Oscar sits her down, makes her laugh for the first time in a week by apologising for probably handing down some sort of anxiety disorder, and tells her a story she hasn’t heard before. She’s out of school for a few days (they tell people she’s ill), because neither Zolf nor Wilde could ever value her grades over her health.

Auri starts seeing a therapist shortly after this. Zolf has been mortally terrified of passing on his depression since before she was born, and finally breaks down about it a little after Auri starts therapy. It’s a rough time, but LOLOMG supports him through it.

Because the campaign is set in 18mumblemumble, I’m taking post canon to be set vaguely in the early 1900s—turn of a new century!—progressing into the 20s as Auri gets older.

My Pinterest board for her is full of 1920s fashion and victorian cribs and art of Jean Valjean and little Cosette bc that’s basically her and Zolf right

hey does anyone wanna hear abt my zoscar baby oc. if this post gets one like I will talk abt my zoscar baby oc