#i fear it changed something in me
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Finished little thieves yesterday and i can't stop thinking about it
#little thieves#margaret owen#i fear it changed something in me#mi libro mas personal hasta el momento#muerte y fortuna
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I've seen a lot of different takes on Fear Toxin/other fear causing stuff (Yellow Lanterns Ring or something)(later just called Fear Toxin cause I'm lazy) but here is another one.
Danny seems like he isn't affected by Fear Toxin because his biggest fear is that his accident changed him so much he is no longer human, he can no longer truly experience human things.
So when he gets lungful of fear Toxin, he feels normal. He was antsy before, because c'mon, it's a rogue attack but it's not worse. Or so he thought. Because the anxiety lingers. Not enough to register as abnormal just this slight hypervigilance that makes you see things about yourself and your surroundings that you'd never realize otherwise. He'd realize he doesn't blink as often. He'd realize that if he doesn't consciously focus, he sometimes seems to not touch the ground. Forgets to breathe. He can't feel his own pulse at time. He'd realize people will miss him when he's walking down the street as if he was invisible (people just don't care about everyone they pass by). When he'd look straight into his reflection, he'd look slightly to the left. Not enough to actually name anything that was wrong but just stretched enough to fall on the wrong side of the uncanny valley. If he just caught his reflection in the peripheral vision, it'd be vaguely shadowy creature with glowing green eyes and white smoke instead of hair. Overall he'd be just wrong enough to be distinctly not human.
For everyone else, he'd be just a dude. Literally couldn't find more normal dude than this dude. Will pass as absolutely normal human unless someone is specifically looking for ecto-ghost stuff. Even most magic users wouldn't clock him at the glance
Tldr: Fear Toxin makes Danny perceive himself as some sort of eldritch horror but not enough to make him believe he'd actually be affected, while from outside perspective he's Just A Dude™
#dpxdc#dc x dp#dp x dc#dcxdp#fear toxin#please no Ghost King#nothing against this au but i don't think it'll mesh well woth this idea#probably works best with danny soon after accident#maybe still believing all of his parents anti-ghost propaganda#that'd add to angst for sure#idk why he is somewhere where he could be affected#idk who would realize something is wrong#up to whoever wants to do expand on this prompt#he'd cry when someone tells him he's been in fact affected by fear causing thing#because this means he *is* human and while he was fundamentally changed by his death#it didn't fully get rid of his humanity#but he won't tell that too busy being relieved so whoever delivered the news would be in for the ride#actually it'd be cool if it was someone who has superpowers but they showed up later in their life#parallels y'know#... i may still not be normal about “i wonder what could lie beyond infinity” by Numinous_Scribe on ao3...#top notch fic go read it great Clark characterization#anyway because plot kinda escaped me#hope this idea scratches someone's creative braincell or something#im curious what y'all will make out of it#yellow lantern#have a nice day dear stranger who got to this part
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Posting more of my ouaw fanart here because I think I’d die if I shared it on the discord and one of the party members saw it.
Some guys
Some husbands
0 impulse control
#this one IS grimmorning thank you for asking#grimmorning#Fellas is it gay to subconsciously cling onto your best mate while you sleep because of your haunting and horrible fear of being alone?#asking for a friend#me if drawing characters with little dot eyes was illegal#legends of avantris#once upon a witchlight#morning frost#gricko grimgrin#gideon coal#kremy lecroux#he changes every time I draw him#coalecroux#ALSO WHO WAS GOING TO TELL ME THAT THEIR OTHER SHIP NAME IS KREMBRULE?? THATS SO CUTE??..?#krembrulè#I watched ep 41 last night guys what the freak#this one is a lot less effort than the other ones but something is coming soon 🤫🤫🤫#I KEEP EFFING FORGETTING KREMYS MUSTACHE WHATEVER IT SMUDGED OFF NOW
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I don't think this contains spoilers but if you don't want to hear any book references or season 3 speculation be warned.
Reading the interview clip where Sam Reid said that Lestat is ripped from the stage by Magnus is wild because we know he knows the books, that's not how it happens there, so he's maybe let Rolin's version slip. Which, if holds true, would be a seismic change. Instead of being torn from Nicki's arms while they sleep, Lestat would be taken during a performance, in front of an audience. Surrounded by humanity, by those he loves, but not a soul can save him. The one place that brought him joy would now be connected to the trauma of Magnus and his turning. If he truly is going to be the catalyst for the theater becoming hunting grounds in the show, for better or worse, it would seem to be related to this change as well. Also, his rockstar moment would have a desperation to it that reflects the books but is tragic in its own way. It would all become devastating in a subtly different way than how Rice wrote it. Even events that only happen in the show would have a different impact. Like Armand first approaching him telepathically while he was on stage would now seem cruel and calculated, and later choosing to put the trial on stage. Sorry about the ramble but it blows my mind how much a small change, changes so much. The murder of the opera singer...the mocking of the Dracula film...the baby on the Mardi Gras float...would all feel different.
#iwtv#interview with the vampire#amc iwtv#lestat de lioncourt#louis de pointe du lac#armand#iwtv rambles#oh my god him first telling Louis he most fears being alone while they're at the theatre#the look the gentle reach for Louis hand#I guess the stage & acting was already connected to Magnus and his turning what with the stalking it would just have a very#different emotional subtext having the abduction happen in front of a crowd vs from his bed#half-asleep even Nicki wasn't sure what had happened in the book#but now it would become a public horror and not a private one.#where in the book he hides what's happened here he would have to immediately perform “human” because everyone would've seen something#or completely embrace being a monster and so maybe the creation of the tdv becomes his idea#maybe it wouldn't change the narrative much but at the least the emotional/psychological ripple to me seems seismic#it touches everything
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See, I think Charles’ annoyance and frustration with the Cat King really was just pure protectiveness and not any kind of jealousy - it’s understandable, because Edwin is not telling him what happened even though something clearly did, which is not typical for them. Edwin doesn’t usually hide things like this! Of course he’s worried!
Charles’ reaction to Monty, on the other hand, is difficult to explain in a way that isn’t jealousy. You could say he’s being protective again, but Charles shows no sign of distrust in Monty, and had no idea of who Monty was or that he might betray them - he was actually very chill with him, except in a select few specific scenes. You could say he just doesn’t like him because he got brushed off during their first meeting, but not only does that not seem like Charles at all, it also doesn’t make sense, since, again, in most instances, Charles is genuinely friendly and is happy when Monty compliments him and seems to have come around to liking him (it completely flies over his head that this is a petty jab at Edwin on Monty’s part but oh well hahaha). You could say it changes up their status quo a bit and that bothers Charles. I do think this bothers him a bit, but I think, unlike Edwin, Charles’ fear and frustration here is directed more at situations (the Cat King whisking him away for several hours, as an example) than others. He’s sociable and likes being able to talk to new people. There’s absolutely no way he’d begrudge Edwin doing the same - and he doesn’t… with Niko. Edwin and Niko hit it off and become very close and that never bothers Charles at all. He’s incredibly endeared to her, just like the rest, and for the most part, he’s chill with Monty too, and smiles pretty knowingly when Edwin confesses to him having awakened some feelings. The only exceptions, where he shows definite annoyance, are when Monty first shows up and gets really in Edwin’s personal space to show him the astrology chart he made, and when Edwin is so sucked into the book Monty gave him that he doesn’t hear that Charles is talking to him, to which he annoyedly says that they seem to have been “spending a lot of time together”.
You could say he’s unused to having anyone get in Edwin’s personal space like that, but, again, Niko. She’s very tactile with him and he doesn’t seem to mind all that much; they spend time together watching things. If it was just someone getting close with Edwin in general, not only would that be weirdly possessive for the character, but it would also mean he would show discomfort with anyone getting close, I think. Does Charles see Monty as more of a potential threat than Niko, seeing as he knows her and her personality and doesn’t know Monty? Well, maybe, but again, Charles shows no sign of distrusting Monty at all.
Monty is a boy. Okay. So something about seeing Edwin so close to a boy that is not him, getting lost in thought over something this boy gave him, really rubs Charles the wrong way. Charles appears to catch on just as quickly as anyone else that there is something (or it looks like something) between Edwin and Monty. He is not surprised when Edwin comes out to him in episode 6, and in fact, seems to have just been waiting for him to verbalize it. He smiles and is not bothered at all by Edwin showing (what he thinks is) a romantic interest in Monty - he just doesn’t like it when Monty clearly shows a romantic interest in Edwin. Um. Well. Well.
Charles is jealous. I really don’t know what else to say.
Look, when I first watched this show, I actually didn’t want them to end up together romantically - I love the idea of one having fallen in love with another who does not reciprocate and the two of them still loving each other just as much. That Edwin’s confession made them closer instead of making things awkward is such a beautiful outcome to this build up and I absolutely love it. However. On my two rewatches, I caught a lot more little details, and I think it would be very strange if the show did not follow up on this. That, plus the deliberate quality of these “jealousy” moments where the camera focuses on him, Charles’ Orpheus coding throughout the show, the fact that Edwin’s arc was far more about realizing his feelings for Charles specifically than just coming to terms with his sexuality, and that even the actors admit that Charles’ response to the confession kind of left things open, it really seems to me like the path leads to a romantic endgame for them, or at the very least, that this possibility will be explored in more depth.
**This is just my reading of it. Please do not use this post as a gotcha for anyone who loves them as a platonic duo or people who really love Crystal and Charles together (because let’s face it, they’re super cute too). I’m just doing my rambles. As per usual.
#listen this got really long and I’m sorry but I wanted to be sure I covered all my bases because#I flat out hate the old argument of ‘it (romance) is the only possible explanation!’ with regards to strong bonds#because it so often invalidates strong platonic expressions of love#but… *gestures above*#they’re going to need to address this at some point I think#I really hope though that if the relationship becomes more romantic#that this does not happen in season 2 but in season 3 or something#make it a good build and emphasize the importance of their existing platonic bond#I want their bond to continue to change and grow closer via their friendship first before evolving into romantic tension :)#(also I have faith in these writers but I’ll always be worried about what happens to Crystal with all this. pls don’t cast her aside…)#the smart thing would be to have Crystal have more of the main plot action and Charles more of the feelings arc#for season 2. that’s what I’m hoping#not just any romance or jealousy for Charles but also feelings around his family and dad and his wants and fears and all that#storyrambles#this got away from me again haha#should I use my analysis tag? does this count??? …I’m using it. ->#call me ace detective the way I am ace. and also a detective.#dead boy detectives#I also love the idea of a canon gay couple in an overall queer narrative because that’s beautiful#please I want it to happen#charles rowland#edwin payne#payneland#dbda meta#dbda spoilers
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in loving memory
or: what did @pkmn-monochrome mean by this
#pokepasta#pokemon monochrome#this string of updates has had me so fucked up. whats going ONNNNN!!!!!!!#i really wanted to draw this panel its such a striking image. (wearing tshirt that says 'i noticed the secret')#i want to put cody under a microscope. like whats wrong with them. like god they deserve better they deserve SO much better#but also damn dude you have ISSUES huh. like 'ive already said too much' um. Um?????????????????#cody u need to stop keeping secrets. like id like to think i understand why given theyve said it outright#(its not our business. its for the sake of survival. and the players perception of them would almost certainly change once these truths-#come forward.)#i know the creator said that it WILL come forward eventually one way or another and i await that with fear and excitement#cause for something to be so deeply and desperately hidden for fear of DEATH... that must be a pretty nasty skeleton in the closet cody.#and tbh 'ive already said too much' makes me wonder how much has gone unspoken abt red and leaf too. like god codys so good at being just.#OBTUSE with the players. an expert in toeing around the truth and saying only Just enough but never Everything.#theyre such a fascinating character to read i fucking love monochrome the writing is awesome
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I’ve mentioned this elsewhere but it feels relevant again in light of the most recent episode. Something that’s really fascinating to me about Orym’s grief in comparison to the rest of the hells’ grief is that his is the youngest/most fresh and because of that tends to be the most volatile when it is triggered (aside from FCG, who was two and obviously The Most volatile when triggered.)
As in: prior to the attack on Zephrah, Orym was leading a normal, happy, casual life! with family who loved him and still do! Grief was something that was inflicted upon him via Ludinus’ machinations, whereas with characters like Imogen or Ashton, grief has been the background tapestry of their entire lives. And I think that shows in how the rest of them are largely able to, if not see past completely (Imogen/Laudna/Chetney) then at least temper/direct their vitriol or grief (Ashton/Fearne/Chetney again) to where it is most effective. (There is a glaring reason, for example, that Imogen scolded Orym for the way he reacted to Liliana and not Ashton. Because Ashton’s anger was directed in a way that was ultimately protective of Imogen—most effective—and Orym’s was founded solely in his personal grief.)
He wants Imogen to have her mom and he wants Lilliana to be salvageable for Imogen because he loves Imogen. But his love for the people in his present actively and consistently tend to conflict with the love he has for the people in his past. They are in a constant battle and Orym—he cannot fathom losing either of them.
(Or, to that point, recognize that allowing empathy to take root in him for the enemy isn't losing one of them.)
It is deeply poignant, then, that Orym’s grief is symbolized by both a sword and shield. It is something he wields as a blade when he feels his philosophy being threatened by certain conversational threads (as he believes it is one of the only things he has left of Will and Derrig, and is therefore desperately clinging onto with both bloody hands even if it makes him, occasionally, a hypocrite), but also something he can use in defense of the people he presently loves—if that provocative, blade-grief side of him does not push them—or himself—away first.
(it won’t—he is as loved by the hells as he loves them. he just needs to—as laudna so beautifully said—say and hear it more often.)
#critical role#cr spoilers#bells hells#orym of the air ashari#cr meta#imogen temult#ashton greymoore#liliana temult#this is genuinely completely written in good faith as someone who loves orym#but is also about orym and so will inevitably end up being completely misconstrued and made into discourse. alas#I could talk about how Orym’s unwillingness to allow the hells to actually finish/come to a solid conclusion on Philosophy Talk#is directly connected to one of the largest criticisms of c3 (that they are constantly having these conversations)#all day. alas. engaging with orym’s flaws tends to make people upset#it is ESP prevelant when he walks off after exclaiming ‘they (vangaurd) are NOT right’#which was not only never said but wasn’t even what they were talking about#he even admits as much to imogen like ten minutes later! that he is incapable of viewing it objectively#which is 100% justifiable and understandable but simultaneously does not make his grief alone the most important perspective in the world#also bc i fear ppl will play semantics on my tags yes the line ‘i hope she’s right’ was said but it was from ASHTON#who does not believe they are at all and wasn’t saying they actively WERE right. orym just heard something to latch onto and ran with it#ultimately there is a reason orym only admitted that he was struggling when he had stepped away to talk to dorian#who has not been around and thusly has not changed once n orym's eyes#and it isn't that the hells never check in or care. they do. they have several times over#it is dishonest to say they haven't#the actual reason is that all of this is something He Is Aware Of. he doesn't mention it bc he KNOWS it's hypocritical and selfish#he says as much!#EXHALES. @ MY OWN BRAIN CAN WE THINK ABT MOG AGAIN. FYRA RAI EVEN. FOR ME.#posting this literally at 8 in the morning so I can get my thoughts out of my brain but also attempt to immediately make this post invisibl
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AND I MET THE CHANGE GOD TOO. OKAY. COOL OKAY
#I WASNT EVEN MEANING TO SO I ACCIDENTALLY SKIPPED THE DIALOGUE BEFORE I KNEW WHAT WAS HAPPENING FUCK#ill go and find it later if only to give myself peace of mind. BUT WOW. WHAT THE FUCK#my original plan was to 1) work my way to the king and talk to him 2) doom myself and take everyone down with me 3) loop back to floor 3#so i can visit the observatory and scrounge for any lore. although since i got killed that run siffrin asked the king to kill him first#which was intereresting. but i decided to have all doors unlocked that time around so i can just get the starcrest and go#but for some reason it wasnt working so i went to get the keyknife since i was already there and completely forgot i already had it#from the previous loop and THATS what triggered it. IT WAS FUNNY BUT ALSO SCARY BUT ALSO I THINK I GET WHAT THEY MEAN#about siffrin going back without actually changing. going along with a script even if his feelings on things change#the same way he has his own small rituals like the carving thing and does it for constancy. reassurance or safety even#and the times when he breaks script and ends horribly like the sadness attacking thing and bonnie yelling at him cause him to loop#to avoid it. although i cant really say anything bc id probably do the same thing. maybe not for the same reasons since im cruel#and make him do the worst to see what will happen since i put curiosity over rejection sensitivity as an observer and player but well.#i feel wrongfooted bringing it up since i dont have it myself but i have to wonder if this kind of leans into ocd tendencies.. i remember#reading something about how ocd is fuelled by fear. and things like counting and rituals are kind of used to cope with that?#if anyone knows anything more or talked abt it already id be really interested in hearing it bc im almost sure im not#the first to come to this conclusion. but i simply dont know enough nor have the confidence to broach the topic rn esp with how often#misconceptions around ocd get casually passed around so its hard for me to know what is and isnt a baseless assumption#puppy plays isat#in stars and time#isat#playthru#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#isat act 3 spoilers#change god#WHAT WAS THAT WITH WEARING LOOPS FACE THOUGH WHAT THE FUCKKK
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SPOILERS (kinda) FOR INSIDE OUT 2 ‼️‼️
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Okay so if anyone doesn’t want any spoilers on Inside Out 2 PLEASE scroll away! I mean genuinely it’s not the BIGGEST spoiler, but it’s a line from the movie. And it would ruin the surprise if you saw it 🙇♀️🙇♀️
But yes I did make art for it, and I had to draw my favorite character from Inside out anyways, please, I thought he would look good in my artstyle 😅💕✨
No hun, no- no you can’t fix her honey you can’t do that-
Can I just say that I’ve been thinking about that line for way too long? I’ve been into Fear x Anger but, GOD, that single line SOLD ME- Best thing a Pixar movie has ever done in my opinion we LOVE the humor in this movie I love it especially. 😂
Also extra cuz I also wanted to draw Anger (one of my favorites too 👀):
I only did the sketch tho guys I don’t wanna draw Fear’s shirt again IT TOOK SO LONG-
#Inside Out 2#Omg guys! Art from something completely different?? How cool!!!#Yeah I went to see the movie with my friend and UGH IT WAS SO GOOD!!!#Genuinely I love the concept of everything!!! I LOVED Anxiety as a character—TRUST ME I hate her as the villain but I can’t deny loving her#character so much UGH!! 💖💖💖💖#Also. My beloved Fear#Legit. Loved him since the first movie. A little sad they changed his voice actor but Tony did great!!!#He’s such a wet cat I love him. am I using that term correctly?- I think I am-#I ship Fear x Anger but i am kinda leaning towards Fear x Anxiety ngl. That shit has me HOOKED#but I still love Fear x Anger. I NEED MORE CRUMBS-#Fear#Anger#Anxiety#Fear x Anxiety
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ok idk if anyones talked about this but i keep wondering just how true this statement is
because we know that girls in saiki k CAN be like that but i dont remember it ever showing with teruhashi and we have scenes like this
where other girls are just as enamored with teruhashi as the guys are (the right panel could theoretically be just like the girls above but i doubt it considering the girl in the left one)
so like how much truth is there to that? ARE they like that with teruhashi or does she just assume they are? does she have good reason to assume they are?
#i also found something interesting while looking for these that i hadnt noticed before#in chapter 5 when teruhashi is asked about when shes going to get a boyfriend- its by GUYS but the anime changed it to girls#so i think the karaoke scene is the first time we see girls being friendly with her?? correct me if im wrong#other than chiyo ofc#not even teruhashi was spared from the animators anti-loser beam 😭#teruhashi 🤝 saiki#anyway yea i would love to know if theres any more info about teruhashis relationship with girls#im not including rifuta cuz shes just a straight up anomaly#girl who was jealous and bitter at first and then realized she was lesbian for her all along? unique experience i fear#unless all these girls in saiki k are lesbians#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#teruhashi kokomi
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"just focus on book 1 without mapping out the entire trilogy" I need you to understand how much I cannot do that
#and not just bc I'm distractable#because the whole thing needs to cohere!!!#also I'm considering adding back in a major plot point from starlightverse version 1.0 bc maybe 14yo me was onto something after all#anyway I find it baffling how apparently so many authors publish a first book without even having drafts of the next ones?#like if it's a planned series don't you need to write the whole thing at least once before committing????#how does their process work like does the entire plot come to them all at once like holy vision and then they jsut#write it all in order without changing anything????????#what if you really needed to change something in the first book to make the ending work but it was already published?#I live in fear
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Never going to forgive goyim for making zionism a dirty word. for making it something shameful.
#jumblr#antisemitism#leftist antisemitism#zionism#zionism is so integral to my jewish life and family and culture#its something so personal and special#and now i fear sharing that with even someone of my closest friends#its so fucking awful#and its worse because i know they would judge me for it becauseof their preconceived notions and propaganda they unwittingly swallowed#and not because of anything i actually believe#but by now its too late#zionism has been cemented as a dirty word on the left#and jews can’t do shit to change that because we are such a small group
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after watching 4 whole seasons in less than 2 weeks i think house md is maybe the perfect example of why we need to bring back 20+ episode seasons. like yeah sure there's a very clear formula but: there's time to add sub-arcs! motifs! weird experimental episodes! the season finales actually feel like season finales because there's enough episodes in the rest of the season for the characters to have chances to breathe without sacrificing the momentum or wasting time. it actually feels like there's a passage of time happening without the need for explicit mid-season time skips or exposition dumps because, guess what, the season is long enough that time actually IS passing. when characters change their hair or visibly start to age it feels normal because again: time is actually passing in-universe. i yearn for the days when television actually felt like its own distinct thing!!!!!!! i also yearn for lisa cuddy but that's not the point here.
#house md#amber quoting “you cant always get what you want” in wilson's heart inspired me to make this post#because yeah. Yeah. that is how you do motif#and quite frankly i do not think it would have the same punch if the seasons were significantly shorter#motif is something you need to be subtle about in tv. because otherwise it feels boring and heavyhanded and pandering#i didn't really enjoy the “people don't change” thing house had going on in s4 because that season is a lot shorter#and it was starting to feel repetitive#(although that's not the writers' fault bc i know this was a strike season)#the point is. to thread a motif in tv you have to be delicate#you need to sprinkle it in SPARINGLY and save it for when it counts#that's why the 'you can't always get what you want' motif has been going so fucking hard for me#we get it once or twice a season MAX and it fucks every single time#can't do that in an 8 episode season i fear!
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Dan had to post that sappy shit today of all days I'm actively CRYING they've done so much for us just by being visible and out and HAPPY in front of our very eyes and I'm SO PROUD OF THEM like my god I'm not okay in the slightest but this community means so fucking much to me and to know the world tried to knock them (and all lgbt people really) down SO MANY TIMES and got so close to knocking Dan down, but he made it through and he's here and queer and filled with such JOY and LAUGHTER and they give the laughter and joy to us whenever they share a bit of content and it's so much it means so fucking much... we all went through so much shit.... I need a hug fucking hell I'm literally crying
#phan#dan and phil#dnp#I have tears streaming down my face I was not ready for it#first day of my period I am so sensitive today why would they do this to me#if Phil says something I'm gonna fucking die I fear#DANIEL HOWELL I LOVE YOU SO MUCH YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'VE DONE FOR ME#fucking hell he'll never know how much he changed my life#I need to get the WAD quote tattooed cause it truly gave me the courage to keep fucking going when life was so bleak#I owe them SO MUCH of my laughter over the years it'ws ridiculous#I'm crying so hard ahaha#wow this shit hit me
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dealing with the concurrent transgender feelings of "FUCK you I shall brand whatever name and gender is comfortable to me" vs "oh god am I making my life more difficult every step I take towards deviancy with this world's outdated bureaucratic systems"
#x#my arg ID is nonbinary#but I went to the spanish consulate to get citizenship stuff sorted out and was asked to pick between M or F on the spot bc outdated system#I picked M but hesitated for a moment due to fear of later repercussions in a system of a country I've never been to#as I look very much afab to normies#but I locked in on M regardless as it is the pronouns I'm happiest with using for myself in spanish#needless to say I am anxious for things that haven't even happened yet as usual#part of me wishes I had just bitten the bullet and went with F just to be safe from prejudice#perhaps I would change it if I could#yet every time I've done something gender affirming I have felt this anxiety in some level but in the long run have not regretted it.... so#maybe that's another case of this#idk#whatever man it's already done
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This meme but as soon as I go "bros... We might be back" I immediately shoot downward like an anvil
#sophie speaks#the taste of life it is.#disgusting#give me. the good part again. it has been. like#8 months#again i wonder how i am still alive#i mean i know what it is a mixture of being incredibly stubborn and also incredibly fearful of commitment and change#me having the worst time of my life: i have to do something drastic and irreversible right now
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