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coryosbaby · 1 year ago

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How To Disappear

Pairing: Aegon Targaryen II x Reader (also present: Aemond Targaryen x Reader)

Summary: the times when a newly wedded Targaryen couldn’t seem to keep her hands off of her husbands brother.

Warning: canon typical misogyny at times, infidelity (reader cheats on Aemond), angst & fluff, slowburn, sort of friends to lovers, I don’t support the character’s actions, yadayadayada// oral (m & f receiving), fingering, body worship, p n v, praise & degradation, cum play, switch but mostly sub! Aegon, dom! Reader

When your thoughts are plagued, they are plagued by Aegon Targaryen.

They should be focused on other things. Your marriage to Aemond, the focus on having his children, of being in such a high position… but your thoughts can’t stray away from your husband’s brother.

It’s not that Aemond is a terrible spouse; a bit of the opposite, to your surprise. Although usually cruel and unforgiving to most, it’s almost as if the man respects you— if you can say even that. He’s… calm, when he’s around you. You work together in a nice way.

But you can still remember the weeks that followed before you and Aemond’s marriage. The conversations that flowed between you and Aegon, incredibly easy. His eyes flitting down to the lilac dress you had adorned upon yourself, following the curve of your breasts and up to your full, lipstick stained lips. You knew he had wanted you.

“My father has asked me to wed a Targaryen,” you had quipped to him. You were both at a celebration; you couldn’t exactly remember what it was for. And as the people around you danced and sung in great harmony, you had taken a seat beside the boy and started up a conversation.

“Is that so?” He seemed a bit excited, a bit intrigued.

“It is.” Your eyes flitted to his hands; soft, trimmed nails and adorned with rings. “they want me to marry Aemond.”

Aegon’s lips had danced with a frown.

“How unfortunate.”

“For me or for you?”

His eyes flickered with a bit of mischief, but then his body slouched down into his seat and he resumed his usual cold stare.

“We will see each other more often,” he had said, retracting his statement. A blush had adorned his cheeks, though he hoped you didn’t see. He had looked away from you as he uttered his next words. “I’m fond of that.”

You had smiled.

“I’m looking forward to having you around as well, dear brother in law.”

That was only one of the moments between you and the prince.

Another time, you had both been taking a walk on the castle grounds. It was a summer day, and although people were flowing in and out of the castle the garden had been empty.

“The roses are my favorite,” you had told him. He had listened to you go on and on about those particular flowers for hours because he knew Aemond wouldn’t. Not only that, but your voice was so calming to him that he couldn’t seem to stray away from making it spill from your lips whenever possible. You told him so many things about these roses: why the color was the way it was, why it had thorns, what it was used for. You were so intelligent— and so passionate about such a small thing. It had Aegon falling in love with you even more.

When you were done with your rant he had picked one and handed it to you. You had accepted it, but with raised brows.

“Aren’t these your mothers?”

“She won’t mind.” He had said.

(She definitely did mind after that. Alicent had scolded him. But he never told you that. )

You had kissed Aegon’s cheek. And when you got back to your chambers, you had pressed the rose into one of your books so you could keep it forever.

A celebration of your wed to Aemond.

Aemond didn’t dance. That was apparent, and you were stuck sitting alone as he discussed things with the other people at the table. His hand was on your thigh, and although it wasn’t revolting to you you didn’t really want to associate with him at the moment. Your eyes were set on another familiar head of blonde hair across from you. He was giving you an amused smirk, as he watched your bored expression.

You become confused when the boy began to move out of his chair. Coming around to you, he held out his hand.

It was a gesture that Aegon didn’t usually perform. He had never been a dancer, just like his brother. But he could see the way you had been paying attention to the other couples moving around in perfect sync. He knew that you wished to dance.

He received weird looks, and a disapproving stare from Alicent. A strange expression from his brother, but nothing that showed that Aemond really cared about any of it. He had business to attend to.

You took Aegon’s hand. He pulled you onto the floor, your dress billowing behind you. It was a beautiful outfit, one that fit perfectly for newly wedded Targaryen royalty. His hands had moved to your waist and your arms had wrapped around his neck. Your lips quirked up into a smile.

“You don’t like dancing,” you stated.

“I don’t,” he agreed. “But I know you do.”

And after he spun you around and after you laughed so hard that it made you dizzy, you both stole a bottle of wine and went out into the deserted corridors. He smiled when you almost tripped and cursed in high valyrian.

“I didn’t know that you had learned that already.” He commented in surprise. You shrugged.

“I know a few words.” You begin to list a few, as you and Aegon both slide down against one of the walls of the corridor. The glint in your eyes made Aegon’s heart twist in a way that he was not particularly used to. He felt almost like a young boy again.

“—and I know the words lykiri, and muna—“ you paused, excitement bubbling from your lips at the most simple thing again. You were a little tipsy. “- Oh! And-“

“Avy jorrãelan.”

It had slipped from Aegon’s lips before he could even understand exactly what he said. But anyone could know what that means. Such a simple phrase… but not one to be taken lightly.

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “What does that mean?”

He had huffed, his face flushing, just as it always did around you. He came to the conclusion that you’d be too drunk to remember the words that spilled from him, the desire and true passion that had manifested in his vocal cords.

“Nothing, dove.” The nickname made you sigh, as your head had leaned into his shoulder. “Don’t worry about it.”

You were already asleep before he could even ask if he should take you back to your room.

A sleepless night.

The wind howled, rain pattering against the castle walls. Aemond had been laying next to you, nude and in all of his glory. He had been inside you, just an hour or two before. And although the man was good in bed, you couldn’t seem to get that post sex exhaustion that usually overtook you. Looking at him then, as he slept, he looked almost peaceful.

Sure he could be cold and distant, but how were you not the same? Either way, you didn’t feel unsafe or uncomfortable when you touched Aemond. You were fine with it.

But you couldn’t get Aegon off your mind.

It’s not as if you felt guilty. Aemond had whores, prostitutes— he didn’t care to commit infidelity, so why should you have? You didn’t even think he would mind if he figured out about your feelings for his brother. Aemond didn’t love you— nor did you love him.

Shaking the thoughts out of your mind, your thighs wet from your previous endeavors, you used one of your old dress robes to clean yourself up. It was too late to properly cleanse yourself; you would get a bath the next morning. The bed creaked as you slipped out of it. Your nightgown fell to your knees in a long cascade of pink fabric.

You had approached one of the balconies adorning the castle walls. It wasn’t your usual spot for nights like those, but it would do.

And that’s when you saw Aegon.

His usual attire was gone. He was clad in nothing but a set of sleep pants. His hair was mussed and he seemed a bit dazed as he looked out onto the land below him. There was a covering over the balcony, as to avoid the rain. You didn’t want to disturb Aegon, but you couldn’t help it.

“Can’t sleep, either?” Your voice was a soft lilt, laced with tiredness that could not seem to travel to the depths of your brain.

The boy jumped when he heard your voice, but then he smiled when he turned around and saw you there.

“It’s rude to sneak up on people like that, you know.” He teased.

“And are you going to punish me for it?”

He smirked, as his eyes followed the bruises forming along your collarbones and neck from your night with Aemond.

“On the contrary. It seems my brother already has.”

Your eyebrows raised. You were beside him now, both of your hands on the railing of the balcony.

“Funny.”

His eyes moved to your lips, then he turned away from you.

“I can never sleep.” He said. “Even when there aren’t storms… the whores still aren’t enough—” he huffed out a laugh, as he looked back at you and shrugged. He regretted saying the last sentence, though he refused to aknowledge it for the time being. “Maybe I’m just mental.”

“Not mental,” you reply. “I can never sleep, either.”

There had been a silence, after that. Just for a bit. The rain was still steady, the wind whipping your hair, but it was calm.

“Can I tell you something, y/n?”

“Of course.”

Aegon cleared his throat. His fingers brushed against yours. “My mother wishes me to marry.”

Your breath hitched in your throat. Of all the things that had happened on that night, for some reason the thought of Aegon bedding someone else made you feel weak.

This must be how he had felt.

“And who is to be your wife?”

Your voice was snappish. You had not meant for it to be.

“Haelena.”

Haelena. His sister. You were familiar with such pairings, had heard about it and had seen it. But the bile in your throat makes you ill. Haelena would be the one to marry Aegon. Haelena would carry Aegon’s child— would be his wife.

He would be her husband.

“How unfortunate.”

It’s all you could say, but Aegon’s hand grabbed yours before you could pull away from him and leave entirely.

“I did not mean to upset you… I just wanted you to be informed.”

“I know, Aegon.”

“She is not the one that I had wished to marry.” He murmured.

Your gaze had travelled down to his hands. So soft in your grip, yet so firm and unforgiving with others. He was a force to be reckoned with.

“I know, Aegon.”

He looked into your eyes, finally. You had always loved them. His palm cupped your cheek.

“I am going to kiss you.”

“So do it, my prince.”

It was tender, when his lips had slotted theirselves against yours. Almost careful. Aegon has never kissed so softly before, nor had he experienced such an aching in his heart when he had done so. He had pulled away, just to look at your pretty eyes. Then he went back in for more. More, more, more. He wanted more. He wanted it all. And when you had finally pulled him off of you, your heart pitter pattering with such a ferocity that you had to take a gasp of breath, you had got down on your knees, and showed him just how much you wanted him to be yours. Small whimpers and whines had left him; completely unlike what you would’ve expected from the Targaryen son. He had ached, pleaded, cried out for you to take him. Take all of me, he had thought. Use me and spit me out until I cannot take anymore. Break me until I’m begging you to stop. Put me back together again and make me anew. Let me worship you. I’ll be your prodigy.

And then with all the energy he could muster, he was tilting his head back in ecstasy and coming with a cry of your name on his lips.

The second touch.

This particular night was when Aemond was away. You had grabbed Aegon’s hand and pulled him to a quiet lake.

You had asked him to remove your corset. He had almost had a stroke then and there, as he undid the lace. You had pulled it off of yourself, and then went your skirts, your undergarments. You were completely nude to him. Your body, perfect beneath the moonlight as you dipped your toes into the lukewarm water. Aegon had watched as you sunk further and further into the depths. You had went under, coming back up graciously as you pushed your hair back from your face.

“Aren’t you going to get in?” You had asked teasingly.

Aegon flushed, his voice quaking a bit. “Are you sure, my lady?” Usually he wouldn’t ask permission, but he did when he was with you.

You had laughed. “Why wouldn’t I be, Aegon?”

The way you had said his name had sent a heat straight to his crotch. But before the boy knew it he was unbuttoning the thin layer of his shirt and pushing it over his shoulders. Your eyes followed every movement, wetness pooling in between your thighs when his pants had begun to come loose. His face flushed as he pushed them down past his legs. His thick cock had sprung up, aching and hard, pressed up against the lower part of his tummy. He was absolutely precious and definitely a sight to see.

His gaze didn’t avert from you. Although you made Aegon nervous, he wasn’t one to shy away from his body.

The water wasn’t as cold as he thought it would be. He had nervously neared you and you had just laughed and pulled him closer. You grabbed his shoulders and pressed a firm kiss to his lips. You had tasted sweet but also bitter, like wine. You were a heavy drinker like he was.

He had brought his hands down to your naked waist, had went down, down, down. He wanted to feel your cunt, and he had. His palms were soft against your mound, stroking the patch of hair there. Then his fingers moved down to your lips. Your clit had been poking through, and he gave it a gentle rub. You had buried your face in his neck.

“Aegon,” you had moaned, breathy. “That’s good, darling. Keep going.”

He had fingered you until he could tell the difference between the water and your slick. He had fingered you until your legs were shaking, until you had to curl one leg around his to stay upright. He had used his tongue to flick against your pebbled nipples, and throughout all of this your hand gave his cock firm but gentle strokes.

When he came he had moaned out your name on his lips with such a ferocity that it almost shook you to the core. You had bit down onto his neck as a sign of your possession, and he had let you. And then when you went back to the castle grounds you had kissed him goodnight and waited for your husband to get home.

Another time, when his mother had hit him particularly hard, and Aegon had cried on that balcony from those many nights before. You were there to help him back to his room, had set him down on his bed and helped clean the blood off of his face. He had watched you, gaze sad and upset. You had taken a rag and wiped the blood off of his lips with a gentle stroke of your hand.

“You’re okay,” you had cooed to him. His face was still flush with tears, and he had pressed it into your waist so he could cry against you. Your fingers had went to his blonde hair, had ran through it and then stroked the back of his neck. “I’m here, sweet Prince. Everything is okay.”

You were there. You were there with Aegon, and everything was okay.

He had never been exposed to this sort of comfort before; not by his father or mother, nor his siblings or the women from the pleasure house. He had never felt this sort of passion for another person; had never felt gentle with them, had never felt enough to cry onto them without consequence.

You consumed him.

When his strong cries had died down into sniffles, he had wiped his eyes and apologized profusely to you.

“Don’t say that,” you had replied to him. “I am not like them. You can cry as much as you wish when you are with me.”

His lips had consumed yours again, after that. His tongue had slid inside, rubbing up against the roof of your mouth. He had let you climb atop him, and with a strong arm he had turned you over onto your back. He had got off the bed, on his knees. He had pulled your body towards him and guided his mouth in between your thighs. He had licked you, swollen and red from the fervent strokes of his wet tongue. He had taken your clit in between his teeth and had suckled until your juices soaked his face and you could only cry. He had worshipped your cunt.

Aegon, Aegon, Aegon.

He was all you could see, think or feel.

Aegon, Aegon, Aegon.

Your nectar had thrown him into a trance, his tongue going through your folds over and over. He had wanted to consume every ounce of your spend. And when you had finally pushed him off, when the stimulation had become too much for your poor cunt to bare, you had told Aegon to go to sleep.

He had followed your orders. However, he had asked for you to be naked, first; he wanted your dress off, wanted your bare skin pressed against him. You had felt the wet patch from his pants against your thigh, where his semen rested against the inside of them. He had peaked when he was eating you.

And as he drifted off, as you uttered out a hummed tune, his mouth had found your nipples and he had suckled until his eyes had closed and his breath turned into small, hollowed whispers.

You were there.

You were there, and everything was okay.

You and Aegon were tipsy.

But of course, when were either of you not handling a goblet of wine? There was another party; one, you perceived, as completely and utterly random. Being ignored by Aemond was a normal occurrence, and it was happening again: So with a telepathic conversation between the eyes of you and Aegon, you had both decided to steal a bottle and sneak away once again. And as it was before, you both turned into the same corridor as the last time.

As you plopped down on the floor, a rather unladylike cackle left you as Aegon talked about the looks of one rather rude and ugly commoner. Your hands had grabbed the bottle of wine from the boy’s grasp. His eyes furrowed, drunken and smiling for the first time in a while.

“And his— oh, my gods, his forehead! Never have I seen one so large!”

You giggled, a bit of the wine slipping from the corners of your mouth as you drink from the bottle.

“An incredibly bulbous head!” You slurred.

“Absolutely! A courtyard of a head!”

That made exactly no sense, so alas you were both laughing again. Aegon’s lips connected to your jaw, as he lazily began kissing away the wine on the skin there. His eyes looked up to you, teasing.

“Have I mentioned that you look beautiful tonight, my lady?”

Your smile had the same amount of flirtatious movement. His fingers drew along edges of your mouth; wine had spilled there, too. When the long digits had grazed your lips, you were quick to suckle one into your mouth.

Aegon’s eyes had turned a bit dark. When you sucked them clean, you pulled them out of your mouth with a pop.

“Beautiful enough to take me back to your chambers?”

“Beautiful enough to have the whole kingdom, ñuho glaeso hūrus.”

You smiled.

“You’re speaking words I don’t know, again.”

Aegon huffed, his fingers grazing your hair as he pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“I didn’t think you remembered that night.” He said sweetly.

“I remember most,” you had replied. “I remember avy jorrāelan.”

He froze, as you smirked up at him.

“I researched the phrase…” you murmured, amused. Your lips moved up to his hair, giving his earlobe a teasing nick with your teeth. “I believe you said, ‘I love you’.”

“Maybe I did.”

“Hmm..” you sighed, and tilted your head back with your eyes closed, as if in thought. “The sweet prince of the north loves me.”

You said it as a statement, because you knew it was true.

“Yes,” Aegon whispered. His hands found yours again. His fingers were still a bit damp from your spit, but you didn’t care.

“Then maybe the sweet prince—“ you cooed, opening your eyes and stroking his face with a free hand. “—should take me back to his room and show me how much he does. Because…”

You had kissed him. His mouth was agape, eyelashes fluttering.

He looked so beautiful like that.

You pulled away.

“Perhaps I love him, too.”

He almost whined when you had said it. His cock was throbbing in his pants from such a simple sentence. His lips grazed yours, but you tusked and began to lift yourself up.

“To your chambers, my grace?”

He had made love to you, that night. When his cock had slid inside the heat of your cunny, when he had become one with you, it was unlike any other experience. Aegon had never made love before you.

Your cunt had contracted around the ridges of his girthy length, had been split open unlike ever before. Whilst Aemond was gifted in length, his brother was gifted in thickness.

He had peaked inside of you. His spend had filled you to the brim and had spilled over the cusp. You were dripping in him. And when he had pulled out, your clit now sore from your orgasms, he had shoved his cum back inside of you and told you to leave it in.

When you had both cleaned yourselves up to the best of your ability, you had both slipped your clothes back on and went back to the party.

“Where have you been?” Aemond had seethed. This was one of the only times he had ever been angry and payed mind to your existence. The party was settling down, people beginning to waver. “You will not leave me in such a way again. Not when people of importance are here!”

You had smiled, as he had spewed those disgusting words at you. It seemed you were the only people at the table, and as Aegon took his usual place across from you Aemond’s eyes had narrowed with a violent intensity.

“Apologies, brother.” Aegon had interrupted. “She was attending to my drunkeness.”

Aemond had tensed. He had clenched his jaw as he had spoke his next words.

“I do not want it to happen again.”

You smiled at Aemond and kissed his cheek sweetly.

“May we retire to our rooms, dear husband? I need a bath.”

A/N: I am an Aemond and Daemon girlie, but the actor that plays Aegon is so fine. If there r grammatical errors I’m sorry

#aegon targaryen #Aegon Targaryen x reader #Aegon Targaryen x fem! reader #Aegon Targaryen ii #Aegon Targaryen ii x reader #Aegon Targaryen ii x fem! reader #Aegon Targaryen smut #Aegon Targaryen ii smut #hotd #Aegon Hotd #house of the dragon #Aegon house of the dragon

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saneandrocking · 3 months ago

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I need more about dead stan au

To be clear, I'm not sure if this idea has been already exposed and is the theme of someone's fanfic out there. I just like Dead people AU and suffering. With that said, I kinda raw dog this righ here and I hope you like the flavor!

Bits of context: This is the AU where Stan dies while he's sleeping in his car, is basically a casuality of him getting robbed, reacting and getting killed, nothing much in the side of the extraordinary. I don't remeber exactly all of the series details, but I'm rewatching it, I promise! Yes, it's a music fic, cause I'm corny. The lyrics at the right are Standford's and they belong to Come Home by One Republic and the lyrics at the left are Stanley's and they belong to Take me home by Jess Glynne, because this is how I pictured they both feel at this moment in their respective lives. Remember: Stanley's is barely a legal adult whe he's is evicted from his house and he has canonically hold a grudge because of it, and I don't think I need to justify Stanford's anger. They both have made decision that are unmistakenly selfish, and that does not define their whole characters. Kissessss!

Major trigger: Grief. Major Character Death. Curse language.

After the fallout between the Pines twins, Stanford was accepted into another university, less prestigious but with generous resources for his research. Alongside Fiddleford, he was determined to prove to the rest of the scientific community that this world was far from being fully explained by the already known elements of nature. He was more motivated than ever to delve into the obscure side of anomalies. He was going to make sure his name was not forgotten in history. He's ambitious, he has something to prove, and he feels—or has always felt—like he's already running out of time to do it, so he's fighting against the clock.

Well, hello, world

Hope you're listening

Forgive me if I'm young

For speaking out of turn

He's in his dormitory room at the college he attends, and Fiddleford is taking a well-deserved nap after helping him with some more references, while he's still researching one of the maps of anomalies recorded in the last decade. There's a certain frequency in certain areas, not old-fashioned publicity tricks to attract attention, no, it's something more… He feels like he's going in circles, even though he can see there's a pattern there. He squeezes his tired eyes; the low lighting isn't doing him any favors when the telephone (something Fiddleford found in the trash and brought home to fix) rings. It's three after midnight, and he knows nothing good can come of this.

He doesn't have time to say anything after picking up the damn thing ringing like crazy and putting it to his ear.

—Stanford, for God's sake, why aren't you answering this damn thing?! I've used all my coins trying to call the university, but they only gave me your roommate's number— a feminine voice berates him. He waits a few seconds, trying to place that strident voice, but the answer comes quickly, of course. The only woman who would call him in the middle of the night is his mom.

—Mom. I've already told you, I don't have time! I have to study even harder since Stan— He stops himself, angry. Sometimes, remembering his brother is still a mix of anger and resentment that he can't fully name to this day. He sighs.

There is someone I've been missing

—It's not the time for that! It's about your brother.— Her tone is not authoritative, but there's an agony there, a desperation that only a mother can express. A guilt trip is what she does best, he thinks bitterly somehow.

Wrapped up, so consumed by All this hurt If you ask me, don't Know where to start

—Mom, what the actual—why would I care what he does?! He ruined everything for me! I'm going to hang up now, I'm busy, call me later.— Deep down, he already feels bad enough for talking to her like that. His poor mother has tried her best all her life, just as he is doing now. And, vaguely, probably Stan is living like that too, even if his best is in another category of stupidity.

—No, no, please!— Loud sobs interrupt her speech, and he sobers up right there. His mom is not one to cry over just anything. —Ford, he is…

—Mom? What happened? I'm sorry, I lashed out.— He runs his hand through his hair, breathing in and out. —What did he do now?— A long and strained sigh, again. Why does everything have to be a problem with Stan? —Are we talking about Stan or the baby? If it's the first, let me guess.— There's a certain humor in the guessing game; he bets Stan did some nonsense expecting him to clean up after him. Again.

Anger, love, confusion Roads that go nowhere I know that somewhere better

—He's dead, Stanford. Stanley's dead,— she says finally.

—What,— he says, as if in a chokehold, struggling to get the words out.

—I'm going to pass you to your dad, he'll…— His mother chokes on her words and murmurs loudly, —My baby boy Stanley…

—Mom?! What—I can't—!— He's lost. That's all he can say and think. Stanley's lost, not dead, just lost. The idea of death is too much.

I think that they could be

The better half of me

They're in the wrong place

Tryin' to make it right

But I'm tired of justifying

—Hello, son.— The serious and deep tone of his dad doesn't do much to calm the desperate young man; it only intensifies his horror. Stanley's lost. Lost is the word they are searching for.

—Can someone just tell me what I just heard? Stanley is—it can't be, Dad…please, talk to me! He's lost?— Why does he ask something as stupid as this? He knows what he heard.

So I say to you

Come home, come home

'Cause I've been waiting for you

—It's what your mother told you. I have nothing more to say. The funeral— The rest of his words get lost in the moment. All Stanford could hear was the sound of the pen he was holding before it fell onto the table, and the room he shared with his friend became a world of its own. An empty and devastated world, full of silence and sorrow.

Would you take the wheel If I lose control? If I'm lying here Will you take me home?

Stanford can't remember how this conversation ended, how his too-hard-to-impress father explained with a shaky and strained voice when the event was going to be. He didn't even have the money to buy something formal to wear to his brother's burial. Would he be buried in his father's suit? He can only describe the slow and painful realization that came with the equally painful heartache: his twin was dead. If there was such a thing as another half of someone, his was dead and about to be buried six feet under within the next hours.

Could you take care Of a broken soul? Will you hold me now? Oh, will you take me home?

The one and only Stanley Pines died far from home, probably alone, while Ford was studying the anomalies of the world, trying to once in a lifetime feel like he belonged, only to discover that nothing could have been more important than his blood—but suddenly, that was a too-late realization.

Fiddleford stared at him as he fell to his knees, too stunned to utter a word, too broken to make sense. He later woke from this numbness holding a cup of coffee in his hands, tears rolling down his cheeks. Stan was dead, and he was alive, and now this is what he'll remember for the rest of his conscious life. This, and the broken look on his mother's face when she saw him at her door on the same day her other son died—his father did not have the strength to look directly at him.

And right now there's a war between the vanities

But all I see is you and me

And the fight for you is all I've ever known

So come home

At the funeral, the only ones present were him and his mother. Despite all the emotions (too overwhelming for Ford to watch, by the way), his father outright refused to see Stanley in the coffin. —I can't take it. I'm not man enough to watch it. Take care of your mother.

He prayed that day, to a God he wasn't sure could even hear him. The guilt was louder than him, but he tried anyway. With all the conflicting feelings in his chest, between his anger and profound grief, he did what he could with all of that, standing side by side with the cold body of his deceased brother. The mirror image of himself lying down, more neat than ever.

The world ain't half as bad

As they paint it to be

If all the sons, all the daughters

Stopped to take it in

Well, hopefully, the hate subsides

And the love can begin

It might start now, yeah

Well, maybe I'm just dreaming out loud

—I will fix this, Stan. I swear. Or I'll see you after giving up. Either way: wait for me one more time.

Everything I can't be

Is everything you should be

And that's why I need you here

#Dead Stanley au #angst #gravity falls au #gravity falls angst #gravity falls stanford pines #gravity falls stanley pines #pines twins #i love them #i love making them suffer also #I'll probably write stanley death in his eyes #it'll hurt #i hope it does

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carmsgarms · 4 months ago

Note

just wanna hug you for the jkr post bc my former friends made me feel insane for not validating their continued engagement 💜

Bestie listen youve unzipped me and im about to go off. Harry Potter was my entire life until she literally couldn't shut the fuck up about trans women being perverts and infiltrators. I was a lonely neurodivergent weirdo and Harry Potter brought me solace as a kid. I read each of the books at least 7 or 8 times, that shit is INGRAINED in my brain. One of my best friends of 10+ years is my friend today because the first thing we bonded over was seeing the last HP movie. I used to be deadset on my 2nd tattoo being my pottermore wand with my hogwarts house. I wanted a fucking HP-themed wedding. The first funko pops I bought were Harry Potter ones. My first serious boyfriend told me he wanted to propose to me in front of Hogwarts castle (this was something he said to guilt trip me when i dumped his ass) ((also thank the gods that never happened he was a shithead and so is jkr)). My mom for some godforsaken reason let me help her name my youngest brother when he was born because she couldn't think of a name and my 10yo ass fuckikg picked DANIEL because of Daniel Radcliffe. I was in DEEP.

And you know what? Aside from the books I camped out to buy on release day and the DVDs that are crammed in a box somewhere in a storage unit, I have gotten rid of every single Harry potter thing I owned because I grew the fuck up and found better things to like. Sure I'll watch the DVDs again every few years to feel the nostalgia again because a good chunk of the cast are great people (we fucking stan Dan Radcliffe and David Tennant in this house ) but I'm not giving jkr another cent of my money or an inkling of my time beyond that.

You are so valid and you are allowed to be upset if your friends continue to engage with Harry potter content.

Anyone who days "uwu my nostalgia" ask them if they still sleep with their fucking baby blanket too.

My former boss wouldn't shut the fuck up about the new video game when it came out. At least once a week he'd ask me if I'd played it yet and every single time I would tell him "I'm not engaging with that franchise anymore. JKR uses money to fund anti-trans legislation." And he'd always spout some bullshit about nostalgia or "but it's SO good" or "yeah I just try to separate the art from the artist / oh but the devs who worked hard on the game! / but playing the game doesn't actually support her! (yes the fuck it does if the game does well it boosts her platform)"

And especially now that my wife has come out, I'm extra ready to fight the next grown person who tells me they ~separate the art from the artist~ like fuck off. There are better things to spend your time and energy on. I hope everything JKR makes flops hard. Everything shes done since the last movie has been a disgusting cash-grab and none of it is even good. I'm beyond thrilled that BG3 has had a wild runaway success and a longer-lasting player base than the fucking game she put out. Nothing has ever disappointed me more than JKR being the way that she is.

Oh but the lore and world building? The ability to make your own character in such a fun and magical immersion world?bDnd has better lore than Harry potter ever did and the lore adds up and makes sense. If you look at her shit beyond the surface level she is actually fucking TERRIBLE at world building especially when she tries to do it without being a fucking racist ((does anyone remember when early drafts for the American magic schools that were using Native American imagery and it was all REALLY FUCKING OFFENSIVe and let's also not forget "no-maj" being the least fucking creative thing she ever came up with)

"But my hogwarts house" PLEASE choose a better Personality.

I have more nostalgia for Avatar the Last Airbender these days since i got into that when it first started airing when i was 12 (and look if you're really into the fuckin houses as your Personality you can get that with ATLA! Water tribe forever bitches)

"But the characters!!!" Please. There are better characters ALL AROUND YOU. pick up a fucking comic book. Yknow Superman actually has a similar structure, he's got the nerdy Normal friend and the love interest and it's a goddamn shame none of the movies include his bestie Jimmy because he's just as important as Lois Lane is.

"But all the strong female characters!" It is 2024 please I beg you to find other female role models (I will again point to Avatar the Last Airbender and Literally Any Comic Book Featuring A Woman. Captain Marvel is actually really good. Battlestar Galactica is also chock full of strong female characters and that came out in the early 2000s!)

Bestie i genuinely feel bad for all the fucking white people who can ignore all the bullshit JKR has done and said and all those sad saltine cracker flavor type people whose entire personalities are Watching The Office and Enjoying Harry Potter And Star Wars. Grow up. Move On.

If it's that important to you (and i mean the general you here not you specifically), please do what I did and Marie Kondo that part of your life. You don't need to hold onto the safety blankie you had as a child. You don't have to hold onto the pair of shoes that got you through high school and are out of fashion and falling apart. You give it a sendoff. Say "thanks for getting me through that part of my life but I'm moving on" and you move the fuck on.

I did something really sappy for my 30th birthday - I said goodbye to the franchise. I mourned what could have been. I went to Universal studios ((also bc Simpsons land and fast and furious ride and ET and a bunch of other stuff are there)) but I stopped into Harry potter world to do everything once and say goodbye to that part of my life since it was something I had wanted to do for most of my youth, and my friend who i became friends with because of harry potter was there with me. We drank the fucking pumpkin juice, had breakfast at the three broomsticks, appreciated all the little easter eggs around hp world, rode the hagrid ride, and ate a chocolate frog I wore my trans rights shirt and dressed gay as hell, my friend is trans so he just ~existed blissfully~ . I think every Harry potter fan needs to acknowledge that the franchise was good for them in the 90s, mourn that part of their life, and move on.

Bonus: me being Gay as Fuck in front of the castle. I hope JKR fucking rots and fades into obscurity and people come to realize she's worse than HP Lovecraft.

#Im sorry im just #very angry #about jkr #the absolute betrayal i would feel every time she got worse #and the anger i felt the harder i dug into her work #it fucking sucks #but i grew up and moved on #anti harry potter #anti jkr #fuck JKR #about me #asks

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iceprincessviviane · 1 year ago

Text

Chapter 3 - New in the town.

Heritage series.

Pairing: poly!BTS (Demons) x Female!Shy!Skinny!Chosen!Reader

Type: dark romance, horror au, soulmate au, ploy relationship, slowburn, yandere.

Warnings: Horror themes, some religion themes (mostly demonic), gore, blood, dreams, manipulation, witchcraft, magic themes, death (side characters), mentionings of forced marriage, mentioning about past, loss, yandere, obsessive, possessive, swearing, low self-esteem,dealing with grief, sugestive content and silly jokes created by me. (If there is more to add let me know.)

Previous chapter. Next chapter.

Summary: new town, new peopple. Accomodating might be hard, but small steps should be enough. As long as there is not any problems, everything is good.

Author's note: this chapter also might be longer because of town's description. I hope the introduction of members won't be too cheesy and cringe 😌 English isn't my first language so sorry for any mistakes.

MINORS DNI

Y/N woke up without any alarm's help. The night was peacefuly, she even dreamt about the forest around the city, for the next three day, she didn't have to log in the work, so had all time to figured out things with mansion. After doing a morning routine and eating yet again sandwiches, she got a text from Jungkook, he'll show up with a man who can rent her a car. Y/N went outside since it was pretty warm, got a closer look to an old tree and through gate to separted garden, then opened main gate. Not even five minutes went by, when two pick ups parked, from first got out Jungkook, now in baggy clothes and free failing hair, from second man in his mid fifties with a cigarette and hat.

"Good morning miss." He shook her hand.

"Good morning, nice to meet you." She said with little smile.

"So Jungkook told me you looking for a car to rent. It happens that this one is sitting at garage for like two months and I don't need it, but well it's quite a big one."

Y/N glanced at blue, goodlooking pick up. It clearly looked like not used, because there wasn't a personal stuff.

"I just need something to be able to get to the town down below and back here." She explained honestly.

"Oh, so it's perfect it's nice and reliabe car, just my brother left it, because he's abroad."

Man proceed to show her all the papers, confirming that it's well treated car and it won't just let her down.

"I think it's what I am looking for. What's the price of the rent?" She asked really convinced.

"We can summed up things right before your leaving, I don't want to take too much since you'll be just using it in town." Man said honestly.

Jungkook was observing their conversation quietly. His car was bigger and was black. He leaned on it's door and crossed his arms.

"Okay, I will fill it if it'll be necessary and maybe you have someone to confirm about the bills?" Y/N suggested little clueless.

"Yea they know me at gas station, so they'll know that you are renting my car." Man smiled.

Y/N signed the contract and they have exchanged the hand shake. Jungkook showed his bunny smile.

"Thanks Jungkook."

"It's okay buddy, get in the car I'll drive you to the town." He said and opened door for a man.

"I'll be also going there but a little later. Gotta buy some groceries etc." She said honestly.

"Sure, there shouldn't be a lot of people that early. Call me if you'll need something." Jungkook flashed her bunny smile and entered the pick up.

They drove away and Y/N came back into mansion. She grabbed bag with wallet, remembering to have her driving license, along with some plastic bags to carry groceries and list. After closing each window and door she opened earlier, than main gate, everything was ready to set off. Drive to town wasn't long, she even parked right under supermarket, nice it wouldn't be problem to pack it. There were also shopping carts so another advantage. Inside were a lot of aisles filled with everything, than further ones with fridges, fruits and vegetables, general food, meat and even with clothes, AGD and supplies. It was perfect, Y/N needed everythig at once. First she went with food, buying everything with long expiration date, some fresh fruits and vegetables, some meat to freeze and left for then. A lot of drinks like juice, water, tea and some coca cola. She equiped herself with a lot of clearing tools, bags for vaccuming, pair of gloves and trash bags. Then went bathroom and kitchen supplies. Her cart was almost full, when she was checking what left and turned out Y/N forgot transparent foil. She was about to reach for it, don't know who thought that placing it on higher shelf was a good idea, unfortunately she tripped and fell straight into a stranger, which was also buying something. He let go of book holding under an arm to catch her and helped stand straight.

"Oh God, I'm so sorry, I'm clumsy." She apologized looking up.

Her eyes met chocolote ones with glasses and concerned face. He was way more taller than she, thick arms and silver hair. Y/N breathed heavily in, second handsome man she met in span of two days. Except that he wore crisp, neat shirt with rolled sleeves and ubuttoned a little. Trousers were from fine, checked material and leather, elegant shoes.

"Eveything all right, you good Miss?"

"Yes, yes." She released breath shakily. "Your book!"

She crouched down to pick it up. She took it carefuly and glanced at title, small gasp left her lips and small smile appeard on them.

"Dante Alighieri Divine Comedy?" Y/N asked looking at stranger suprisingly.

He smiled back and nodded. "Yes, it's occupying lately my mind." He took it from her. "Did you read it?"

"Yes, around year ago and I liked it a lot."

"I'm on Prugatory. Still have a to read it and then Paradise."

He glanced at her cart full of different things and his smile widened showing the cutest diamples she has ever seen.

"Are you that newcomer?"

"Oh... yes, it's me." She said meekly. "The news are spreading fast here I see."

"Nice to meet you. I'm Kim Namjoon." He gave her his hand.

"Y/N L/N. I'm really sorry." She grabbed and he shook it firmly.

"It's okay, you wouldn't want to know how many times I've dropped it in the past." He scrated his nape and giggled nervously. "How's your residence here so far?"

"Ugh I've arrived here yesterday, I just checked the mansion and everything is working but I'm missing basic supplies."

"It's that one on a hill right?" Namjoon asked tilting his head slighty to left.

"Yes."

"It's a beautiful one. I'm living in another one, which is closer to town, but still in the woods."

"Oh really, you are owning it?" She asked with surprise.

"Yes, I like to nap there and sometimes inspire myself." He nodded pushing his glasses back on the nose.

Y/N could swear that this made her knees weak. She hid her heating cheeks and shuffled with cart a little.

"So are you an artist?"

Deep laugh filled the silence and smirk showed up on Namjoon's lips. He narrowed his gaze a little and looked at her from toes to head.

"No, I'm a businessman, but I do enjoy literature and art."

Y/N nodded shying away from his gaze. Who would think that such man is going to stay here? But he had right, the views and scennery were stunning, so maybe taking a break from work here worked very efficient.

"Isn't it a lethal combination?"

"Tell me." In his eyes flashed sparkle of approval.

"I think it is." A little smile appeard on her lips.

"It was nice to meet you, but I need to go. If you would want to we can grab a coffee or tea sometime." Namjoon suggested softly.

"It would be really nice."

They exchanged phone numbers and Y/N tried to hide small, plesant smile and heated cheeks. How lucky was she? Meeting another handsome and nice man during such situation? Truly strange. She paid, then left the shop with cart and put everything in car. A lot of things had to be in fridge, so it was necessary to come back to mansion. After putting everything in place and make some orders Y/N again got in the car - this time to drive around and meet the area. The main square and road was easy, but gas station was a little bit further, when the road was going into another direction. In the forest were a lot of different paths, some were just porches into forest entrances, with wooden railings, parking spots and atmospheric bowers. When she got into another one there was small, woden cabin between few trees. Y/N parked that anyone could pass through and took off, the air was fresh and full of spine smell. Silence was only but by birds and she felt warm sunshine kissing her skin. Suddenly an elder woman appeard, also with groceries obviously going to cabin direction. She looker like granny and was visibly struggling with holding the items. Unfortunately the plastic bag has given up and all things rolled into ground. She gasped and Y/N immediately rushed to aid her.

"Please let me help."

She crouched down to pick up food first to prevent dirtying it. She used her spare bag from a purse and put those in, the focused on rest.

"Do you live here ma'am?" She asked pointing at cabin.

"Yes my dear, thank you for help." Elder give her geniue smile.

"It's nothing."

They both reached cabin older woman opened the door revealing small and cozy living room with an table, couch, chairs and plush armchair on which was lying small, black as night cat with emerald green eyes. It rose head when women appeard and observed them carefuly. Room was shared with open kitchen which was filled with cupboards, stove, countertops under a walls and small fridge. Y/N put everything on a countertop.

"Is it everything? Do you need anything more?"

"Yes sweetie, thank you a lot." Grandma said and sat on the chair to take a breath.

Cat jumped off the armchair, stretched out and walked to owner, rubbing it's whole body against her legs. She smiled and petted it's head affecionate. Y/N smiled at sight, but in no time white cat with black spots in whole body appeard and meowed softly.

"Do you have a catfood here? I can set it up, since you have to nap ma'am."

"It should be in the bag."

There was a bowls under a wall, so she filled them with food which was bought. Three more cats showed up and black one abandoned owner to eat.

"Oh there's a lot of them." Y/N smiled.

"Mostly they are stray, but I feed them since this forest is dangerous."

"Oh I heard about the wolfs."

"You are the newcomer right love?"

"Yes it's me Y/N L/N" she introduced herself and nodded respectfuly.

"You can call me Annise, looks like Emerald started to already like you."

They both looked down and saw the black cat rubbing it's body against her legs, with tail high standing.

"Can I pet it?"

Grandma nodder and Y/N crouched and ran her fingers through cat's smooth fur. It purred softly then meowed and looked at her with big, green eyes.

"It's beautiful."

"Yeah, Emerald is a one handsome boy."

"Do you have a phone ma'am? I can help you a little when I'm free, you live pretty far from main part of the city."

"I have it, thank you but I don't want to bother you sweetie. I heard rumors that you are here for an important thing." Elder woman stated with shy tone.

"Well yes, but it seems it'll take a time and now don't even started so I can be helpful."

Grandma smiled and they exchange phone numbers. She also suggested Y/N to stay a while, when she prepared tea and took out a cookies from a shelf. Emerald jumped on her lap, when she sat at the table, she explained briefly how the case with mansion is going and described how it looks for now.

"You a brave girl coming here all alone." Annise summed up with respect.

"I kinda had no choice, but when officials issued everything, it wasn't that scary. The manor is very big and I admit that it's overwhelming, but I hope everything be all right and I wanna take care of it in a sake of my late aunt."

"Yes, but also living now deep in the forest for a town girl might be uncomfortable." Grandma looked up at her.

"For now I'm trying not to complain but nature here looks beautiful."

"Just be careful and watch out about a weather."

Y/N nodded and the conversation went for a while. After an noon she excused herself and thanked for a cookies. She had to come back and eat a dinner, also wanted to look after a mansion a little. Emerald didn't took off his shining eyes of her, till the door closed. Cat looked at his owner.

"Gosh she's lovely..." Annise stated with sad sigh.

"We have to start act immediately." Emerald growled a little and stretched again.

"Yes... the necklace won't be enough."

}*{

When Y/N came back to the mansion, it was late noon and she could feel her stomach growling. After preparing something ready to eat, which she bought in the shop, the tour around the mansion begin once more, but now she chose locked garden. The gate creaked loudly when she opened it with rosary key and looked inside. The stone path was cleared and grass actualy was cut and neat. It was a little strange, but maybe some gardener was sent here before her arrival. Y/N went deeper, where the trees starter and dry fountain can be found. Some birds were chirped and warm sun went out of the clouds shining at sunclock. It felt unreal, like she got transported into another time and world. Good thing that garden was cleared, Y/N had zero experience with such plants and places, maybe it would need water later, those flowerbeds looked like someone would have to care about them. Something took her attention. On one of the bush branches was hanging a stick tangled with feathers and grass, she frowned a little, touching it carefuly. Was it some of children making? Some sort of bird thing? She decided to left it, when she recalled that indeed there were a nightingale living around the manor.

Y/N left the garden, it didn't need any clearing now so she decided next is a library. It was huge room with second floor, both filled with tall bookshelfes, another fireplace with cozy couch anr armchair, the windows were going through backyard, very back part of the garden. Whole library was dusty to the second floor were leading circling stairs and it was in fact a balcony, with more bookshelfes and a place wiqth desk and chair in the back, near big window. There were also sculptures and paintings, probably everything needed to be write down and inspected. Some books appeard to be very old, some were having even wooden covers. This place will definitely need some vaccuming and clearing. She came back to master bedroom, when already was an laptop and some of her things put in the order. It came out that mayor emailed her - the government started to look for an specialist and in the attachment was a list of all things which needed to be catalogued and written down. There were thousands... Y/N sighed and send it to her phone, maybe she'll find time for that. After some nap she went to close main gate, evening just started and she probably won't go anywhere, she also checked the garden, but an surprise waited for her under main door. Cat with intense grey fur and mix of yellow and green eyes waited for her and meow when she came into it's sight.

"How did you got here?" Y/N asked and animal just rubbed it's body against her legs.

It also allowed to pet it's head gently and reached a paw towards her. Girl's heart just melted and cat was allowed inside the mansion. Suprisingly it sat in the middle of big space looked around and them started to follow her upstairs. Inside her room, started clearing whole body, when Y/N was thinking what to do with him. It might be one of Annise's cat or another stray - so she couldn't let him outside on that time, if the area is really that dangerous. She had a fresh piece of fish, so she put it on a plate and filled wide bowl with water. Cat accepted it after cleaning himself. It was avarage size, for sure adult and actualy an handsome gentleman. When she briefly looked at list sent by mayor - it was so long, because there was a sections filled with books, second most wide was furniture one. After some time, the night overtook the world, the moon peeked into bedroom and Y/N decided to go to sleep. After fast shower she went into a bed and cat decided to curled near her legs which caused her heart to melt again. The shadow shapes seemed like stretching towards canopy bed, but all jumped into cat's shadow caused it to be more darker, only when it opened eyes. Nothing else dared to enter bedroom this night.

Taglist:

@hadesnewpersephone @lalavione1309

#yandere bts x reader #bts x reader #yandere bts #bts soulmate au #poly bts #supernatural #mystery #dark romance #yandere x you #horror au #demons #bts jin #bts namjoon #bts yoongi #bts hoseok #bts jimin #bts taehyung #bts jungkook #bts ff

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trollprincess · 2 years ago

Text

So my hometown is building a community center, and some people are livid there’s going to be an LGBTQ+ presence. Since I’m not sure I trust my hometown newspaper to publish the letter to the editor I just wrote, I’m going to post it here with some names and whatnot redacted.

Dear Editor,

I am writing this letter in regards to the proposed community center, and the response which appeared in your newspaper.

My name is Jennifer. Many of you know me well. You went to school with me, you’ve worked with me, you know my parents or my brother. You know me as the bookworm who learned to cross the street just to get to the library, the bundled-up woman walking her barky beagle mix down Main Street, the friendly girl with the colorful hair who tries to smile at everyone she meets.

I grew up here. I remember buying penny candy and comic books in a store which burned down years ago, picking up groceries for my grandmother in another store which is now just a public eyesore, and writing my self-published novel in a cafe which changes hands only to fail every oher year. I have spent the vast majority of my life living in [this town].

I’m also bisexual.

The proper term may be more like pansexual. As described by a character on a certain sitcom, “I like the wine and not the label.” It’s the person I love, not the body parts. And in part, that might make me demisexual as well, meaning that I am only attracted to people after I get to know them well.

That last paragraph might be confusing to some of you. It’s not hard. I don’t like everybody, but I keep my options open. Better?

I questioned for years whether or not I was bisexual or pansexual or straight, but I was never - not once in my entire life - afraid that if I told my parents I was not straight they would hate me or reject me. I’ve got great parents. My mom and dad love me more than any words I could summon up can describe. And what’s upsetting for me right now is how many people in this town I thought felt the same about me, or about their own children, don’t.

I don’t remember when the people here became so cruel. Am I just seeing the past through rose-colored glasses? Probably. I don’t think I remember anyone here being so cruel and filled with hate, and then I recall my high school years in the 90s, when “gay” was the worst slur you could call someone. I don’t want to think that people I’ve known since I was in kindergarten have been bigoted all this time, but then a memory will slip through of some racist comment or grumbled slur someone I thought was a nice person I could trust said.

Now, sometimes, I’m afraid in my own hometown.

I shouldn’t have to be. No one should have to be. Hence, the community center.

Putting aside the LGBTQ+ community, this town needs somewhere where kids and teens can go. I grew up here and every time we came close to having somewhere to go, it would be snatched away in a heartbeat, only for the adults to wonder why teens were out kicking out the slats in the gazebo or burning the playground equipment. Go outside and play! Just don’t hang out here, or there, and definitely not downtown, and nowhere around people. And God forbid, not in groups.

A community center is something this town has desperately needed for decades. Decades. A place where we can go in the rain, where kids can go to hang out safely with our friends, and where we can learn about each other’s differences.

I’m sick of the cruelty I’ve seen in this town - from older folks, from people with inflammatory bumper stickers on their car, even from members of the town council. I’m sick of that cruelty not being called out by others around them because those people “grew up in a different time” or “are my friends, I can’t tell them not to say that.” I’m sick of living in fear of the cruelty of my own neighbors. I’m sure I’m not the only one.

Why is it important that LGBTQ+ people be included in the community center? For the same reason non-Christians should be included, and people of color, and others who are different. Because some of you are so ill-informed you think gay people are recruiting (we’re really not, although we appreciate you think we can agree on a grocery list, much less an agenda), that we’re grooming children to molest them (oh, if anything cut down the possibility kids in this town would get molested, it was tearing down most of the churches), and that transgender people are going to go around forcing people to be a different gender and cutting off people’s genitals (please stop thinking about other people’s genitals, it’s rude and gross).

Talk to us. Listen to us. We’re actually pretty nice. And not just us, but other people who have different life experiences than you. That’s the whole point of a community center - to learn, and to grow, and to become a better person by correcting the harmful beliefs you carry with you.

I’m going to close my letter with a quote from Waymond Wang, a character from “Everything Everywhere All At Once.” He said, "The only thing I do know is that we have to be kind. Please, be kind. Especially when we don't know what's going on.”

Thank you.

[Yours truly, fuckos.]

#lgbtqia #lgbtqia+

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madame-fear · 2 years ago

Note

Lucerys x stark!reader where they have a dinner to meet their betrothed (eachother) and lucerys is a cocky shit throughout the whole dinner and afterwards they talk and hes like actually really sweet (but still a teaser). ignore my atrocious grammer

dragon-wolf loving under the moon

a/n : I LOVE THIS SM 🥺💖💖man your requests are too sweet 😭 i kinda combined your request with another one sent by @marvelfics134 which also includes a cocky Luke where he gets tickled for acting like a smartass, teasing boy. Enjoy this, love !! 💕 side note : (n/n) is the keyword for your nickname, and the reader is specified as a girl. If you'd like me to change it, feel free to tell me so!

summary : request word count : 2.5k

characters included : lucerys, jacaerys, cregan, rhaenyra, slight mentions of daemon, and reader/you.

genre : fluff.

────────────────────

The whole ride from Winterfell to Dragonstone was mostly characterised by you picking your nails, biting your lips, and simply finding strange new ways of trying to lower your anxiety at the thought of meeting your betrothed. You were obviously accompanied by your older brother, Cregan, and your family, all of them rapidly realising your nervousness as you constantly fidgeted with your hands, and they sweetly reassured you that everything was going to be alright.

“There is no need for you to worry, baby sister: the Targaryens are a lovely family, and you will certainly get along with them once we arrive to Dragonstone, it will only be a matter of short time. However, if your betrothed is disrespectful towards you, I'll make sure he regrets it.”

The kind words of your brother echoed through your mind as you were nearly arriving Dragonstone, unequivocally causing you to giggle and warmly smile everytime you remembered it – the soothing feeling of your family being there for you never ceased to make you less anxious at certain situations. You've heard many things from the Targaryens, all of them good, and mostly being said by your brother – which was quite a reliable source, knowing you could wholeheartedly trust his words and his judgement. You soon learned all the good things being spoken by your brother regarding the Targaryen House were true once you had fully arrived to the Dragonstone castle.

Queen Rhaenyra was extremely gentle and sweet with you and your family, and even showed you around the Castle so you could get familiarised with it. On the other hand, Daemon, was, in your opinion, a bit too intimidating; but he never failed to occasionally make you genuinely laugh at his sarcastic remarks, and overall, he was rather polite to your family as well. You also had the chance of meeting your betrothed's elder brother, Jacaerys, who already knew some things about you, being your brother's close friend; and he was quite charming, as well as a complete gentleman around you. You already knew some things about him too, but never had the opportunity to personally meet him until now. Then, the so awaited time of finally meeting your betrothed came.

You hadn't been received by him at the moment where you arrived to Dragonstone the same way the rest of his family had, because he was "fulfilling duties and responsabilities", as you had been told. In fact, you had only met your betrothed during dinner, as you were sat in front of him. You had only eyed him once as everyone was sitting at the table to prepare for dinner; you thought, he was cute, and at some point, you were grateful to the Gods of having been betrothed with someone who was near your age and seemed to be decent, rather than some sick jerk who would leave you stuck in an unwanted marriage. The way his green hazel eyes slightly sparkled with the flame of the candles placed in the table were certainly captivating. The problem was, you couldn't tell yet by his facial expressions whether or not he was acquiescent to your betrothal. But of course, you were more than eager to offer him liberty in your marriage, and allow him to be with whomever he truly desired in case feelings weren't romantically mutual, and only liked each other as a mere friendship. Strangely enough, the idea of simply being friends during your betrothal was slightly disappointing to you.

As everyone chatted during dinner, your eyes scanned the whole room, as well as the people surrounding you. Your brother, who was sitting by your side, brought you some comfort at the still unfamiliarity of the place, and the faces. They had all been polite and gentle towards you, but you still couldn't help but feel an unpleasant sensation of anxiety rising in your chest. As a way of coping with the increasing nervousness, you began fidgeting with your own fingers; your eyes scanning everything – and everyone – until they suddenly fell to Lucerys' hazel eyes, who was already staring at you without you having noticed. At seeing the sudden presence of him eyeing you, you couldn't help but gulp, as your facial expressions became strained under his intense gaze, accompanied of a warm crimson faintly appearing on both your cheeks – a certain reddish colour that as faint as it was, it was still too notorious to pass unseen. At seeing how flustered your face had become, the young Prince couldn't help a sly smirk growing on his face, feeling too contented by the way he was making you feel. Unbeknownst to you, in his mind, he was loving how sweetly shy and pretty you looked as he stared at you, becoming more and more nervous as seconds passed by.

Almost unconsciously, you quickly lowered your gaze to your lap – breaking the eye contact– at realising how the Lordling was suddenly smirking at your shyness as the two of you couldn't help but keep staring at each other. The fidgeting on your fingers intensified, as the pounding on your heart grew, and you couldn't help but anxiously gulp. A slight, warm smile you weren't able to contain formed on your lips at the thought of the Prince you were suddenly taking a like to was deeply staring at you, but in a way, you weren't sure if he was actually making fun of – or mocking – you on his mind, rather than simply be admiring you. Your brother's voice interrupted your train of thoughts, “Is everything alright, (n/n)?” a faint hint of concern could be heard on his voice as he whispered to you. “I am feeling unwell, brother.” You lied, whispering back to him, as you simply stared at your now cold, untouched food; not daring to look back to Lucerys. In front of you, next to where your betrothed was sitting, Jace's face also became slightly worried as he couldn't help but hear your small conversation, after noticing the small staring contest his younger brother and you were sharing.

Your brother – in a soothing way– placed his hand on your shoulder, gently rubbing it as he noticed how truly anxious you were. Without a second thought, you stood up from where you were sitting, and your hands went to fidgeting with your dress. “May I be excused, your Grace? I am feeling rather unwell.” your voice as low as it was, it was still vehement enough. The sudden attention you got from the people sitting at the table after standing up and speaking only made the anxious knot in your stomach worsen. “You are excused.” Rhaenyra answered. “Is there something we might assist you with, sweetling?” Much like your brother's, Rhaenyra seemed notoriously concern as well, but her voice was calm and soft. In response, you gently shook your head. “No, your Grace. I simply need some fresh air.” being given a single nod as an approval of you leaving the table, you were quick in making your way out of the room, as you guided yourself to the garden the Queen had shown you. As you left, Lucerys' smirk suddenly fell, as worry – and slight guilt – of having made you feel uncomfortable grew on his chest. Meanwhile, Jace exchanged concerned looks with your brother.

The halls seemed never ending as you walked towards the Garden, but once you arrived, you released a big, deep sigh of relief as you lifted your hand to your chest, feeling your intense heartbeating decreasing as the fresh, slightly cold wind hit your face. You felt a minor embarrassment grow in you at the thought of you practically fleeing the dinner, but you simply couldn't take the heavy feeling of the Prince's precious hazel eyes staring down at yours – and another warm blushing appeared on both your cheeks as you remembered the swift moment you shared back there. Trying not to think much about it, you walked towards the outstandingly big tree standing in the middle of the garden; leaves ruffling as the wind passed, occasionally making some of those leaves fall to the grass. You sat under the tree, and you lifted your sight to stare at the moon, who warmed you with it's nitid moonrays. A sudden, juvenile voice interrupted your thoughts once again. “Lady Stark? Are you alright?”

You rapidly turned your head to look at where the familiar voice had come from, only to find yourself with your betrothed making his way towards you – his voice was calm and soft as he spoke. “I am alright, my Prince, I just needed fresh air. Thank you for your concern.” You lowly spoke, as Lucerys sat beside you, taking in every single one of your delightful facial features, who seemed even more precious under the moonlight, as he couldn't help but notice the warm blush in your face when you lowered your eyes back to your lap. There was an awkward silence between the two of you for a moment, but he quickly interrupted it by speaking. “I hope I have not made you feel uncomfortable with my staring, my Lady.” the nearer he was to finishing the sentence, the lower he spoke. You lifted your eyes to look back at him: his face was slightly covered by his brunette bangs, and a rosy colour was smeared all over his place. A certain liking grew for you at noticing his true gentle nature... perhaps, you liked him even more than you were before the two of you spoke. You gently shook your head and placed a tender hand on his shoulder. “Please, call me (y/n), my Prince. And I believe I should be the one apologising for fleeing in such way, I was simply overwhelmed with the idea of being betrothed, that's all.”

A warm feeling arose on his chest as you placed your hand on his shoulder, and tenderly rubbed it with your thumb. “Of course, my Lad– I mean, (y/n). You should feel free of referring to me as Luke as well, if you wish.” He could feel himself seconds away from melting under your touch, who was so genuinely caring and loving – perhaps, this marriage wouldn't be so bad after all, he thought. “I can say, I feel the same way. I was afraid of being betrothed to someone I wouldn't particularly enjoy being with, but when I first saw you as we were preparing for dinner, I could tell, that you are incredibly loving and beautiful – that is the reason of my staring, I was simply taking in your features, and I am quite satisfied with having been betrothed to you.” seven hells, right after saying that he wanted to slap himself right in the face for having blurted so much of what he though about you. As you nervously – and joyfully – giggled at his sweet words, the previously rose shade on your faces turned into a reddish one; crimson, like a rose.

You gently lifted your other free hand as to cup his cheek, and placed a sweet, small kiss on it, feeling the warmth of his skin. As you kissed his cheek, he couldn't help but nervously smile under your touch – the teasy, cocky facade slowly fading away, as he became a shy mess near your presence. “The feelings are mutual, Luke. I am so incredibly grateful to the Gods for having been betrothed to you. You look especially adorable when you blush, you know that?” the way you spoke his name was beautifully sweet-sounding to him. It was quite unbelievable, the effect you had on him; making his smartass-self wash away by simply referring to him as "cute when he blushed". Of course, he wasn't going to let you tease him back that easily. “I believe, you look even prettier when I stare at you and you become nervous under my gaze.” his voice mimicked your teasing tone, allowing himself to express his true, hidden nature with you. In response you smirked, as your hand was still cupping his cheek – your faces inches away from each other. “Really? Alright,” you began, “You know what happens to boys like you who act all cocky and teasy?” you asked, your voice was low and soft. His green hazel eyes deeply stared into yours, as he innocently tilted his head to his side. “Hm, what happens, Gevie? (beautiful)” gods, you were starting to like him better when he was acted all teasy, cocky, and like a true smartass.

“This,” the hand that was cupping his cheek, along with the one placed on his shoulders, both tackled his ribs. At the sudden unexpected contact on his soft spot, Luke loudly yelped, and quickly began giggling like a little blushy girl. Your fingers grasped the zones you imagined that would be his soft spot, and you were indeed right. The quietness of the night was disturbed by his loud laughter; he couldn't help but squirm and wiggle under your tickles. “No, wait, quit it!–” his attempts of stopping the tickling was absolutely futile, as you didn't matter in listening to him, but rather, teach him what happened to boys who had the audacity of leaving you in such nervous and blushing mess in public. Your fingers ascended to grasping some spots on his neck, causing his red to become even more reddish than he already was; he was practically at the edge of choking with his own laughter. “Yield!” he shouted, as you kept tickling the softest of his spots. “I yield!” he shouted once again, as you couldn't help but giggle at the sight of him being extremely reddish, and loudly laughing.

Being gentle with him, your fingers stopped tickling him, allowing him to catch his breath once again – but he was still giggling, maybe at the remaining sensation of your fingertips grasping his weak zones; still feeling the ghost of your fingers. As he was still trying to recompose himself from the good laugh, you once again cupped both his cheeks, and pressed tightly your lips against his. At the sudden moment, his eyes widened, and his body tensed under your touch as his cheeks got warmer, and if possible, a slight darker shade of red. Eventually, he gave into the soft feeling of your lips, and fluttered shut his eyes; his hands cupping your cheeks as well. It only lasted for a minute until you had to break it apart from lack of air, but it felt eternal for the two of you. As you slowly separated your lips from his, you both slowly opened your eyes, and he couldn't help but stare at you with admiration and purely lovestruck – a toothy-grin forming on his rosy lips.

“Never tease the hidden teaser, my sweet.” flashing him a wink, you stood up from where you were sitting, and you straightened the wrinkles in your dress as he stumbled upon his words, trying to search for something appropiate in response. “I shall make my way towards my chamber at this late hour of the day, but I will surely see you in the morrow again... my Prince.” you placed a kiss on his forehead, and before he could even say anything coherent, you made your way towards your guest chamber as he watched you leave: heart pounding with a newly discovered puppy love for you, and sighing from how dreamy you were.

Maybe, your betrothal to Lucerys Velaryon wouldn't be so bad, after all.

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♡ taglist : ♡

@jjamieberry @anemicroyalcore @countsmoon @marvelfics134

#lucerys velaryon x you #lucerys velaryon x reader #lucerys strong x reader #lucerys targaryen x reader #lucerys velaryon imagine #lucerys velaryon headcanons #hotd fanfic #hotd x you #hotd x y/n #hotd imagine #hotd x reader #house of the dragon x you #house of the dragon headcanons #house of the dragon imagine #house of the dragon x reader #house of the dragon

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lynaferns · 5 months ago

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I wish my teachers from back then in school didn't take too much into account the age rating of books and choosed books for the class to read based on the kids interests in said class.

I'm not saying to read mature rated books to kindergarten kids. I mean in highschool or even primary school, taking more into account what could be a read good enough to make the kids want to start reading by themselves. Don't choose a book base only if it's age appropriate and if you liked the title, but about the story. I know the books the teachers course are actually from an approved list by the school, but those books are always shit.

I don't like reading, I've hated or gotten bored of every book a teacher has made me read. Fantasy, mystery, slice of life, hated them all.

The worst was when the book was in basque (hi, I'm from Basque country, it's in Spain, in case you didn't know I'm from there, now you know), those books- listen, there is a whole thing going on with the current basque that is talked here, with the thing of being an artificial amalgamation of what was the OG language. We don't have a nice catalogue of basque books to read... specially because they are all recently written, and I mean this century. The basque authors have to start somewhere, but that's all we have.

(something something people being haunted decades ago for talking basque, parents not teaching the language to their kids to protect them, losing the language, trying to bring it back by ripping out words from Spanish and the little they could save from the lost one, something something, and now there are only a few villages that can talk the original basque and can't understand shit from the new basque and that's fucking sad because the new one is so clumsy and awkward and the old one was so much pretty but anyways this could have been its own post)

This stupid book, I remember crying because I didn't want to read that book. It was so bad, so fucking boring but had to do a resume of the whole book and I only had a chapter left and I was pulling at my hair because I couldn't bring myself to read it. It wasn't even a long book, in fact, one of the shortest I've read in my life. Must have been less than 100 pages around 10 short chapters, BIG FONT FOR KIDS. I hated it with all my soul and I made sure to express that in my resume. You have no idea of how relieved I was that it was over and that my brother and mother didn't have to convince me anymore to read it.

A few years ago my brother tried to get me into Terry Pratchett's books but I got bored fast. I had people around me try to recommend books to read. Any time someone started talking to me about a book they've read my brain would shut down and I would be just like "yeah cool 🙂(<-trying really hard to fake having interest)".

Once I tried to find ways to get me into reading the books assigned from school, like 30 minutes read a day. I would put timers in my phone and try not to look at the clock. When my father found out he got really mad at me and scolded me for some reason I to this day still don't understand. My mother wasn't mad but she told me that if I had to read a number of chapters assigned, I had to read those chapters. And I dropped the book. Completely. I didn't submit the resume we had to do at the end of the year.

The concept of picking a book to read and actually reading it... I can't do that. The times I tried to read a book because someone really wanted me to read it, my brain has just stopped a few pages in, like "yeah no, this isn't happening buddy, we are not reading today."

One day suddenly, I started reading. A lecture that caught me enough to read the first 4 chapters in a row. Another time I read the equivalent of 4 books in a week. And suddenly it's not as hard as before to pick up something from the list to read and know that I'm going to read it later. It was a fanfic who made me think "Oh shit! Wait! Reading is fun!?!?!?!"

But I'm only reading because I'm familiar with the characters that are in the fic, and I want to see more stories about that specific character.

I can start watching a show, a gameplay, pick up a fanfic... I can't pick up a book and read it without losing interest.

#lyna rambles #idk I don't feel like I'll ever have a s good relationship with books

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valandhirwriter · 11 months ago

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Pick 3 of your favorite characters. Tell us when and how you fell in love with them. Inquiring minds want to know :)

Then tag 3 or more people, hopefully who aren't shy :D.

3 of my favourite characters.... that's quite the challenge I have to admit. Because I read a lot and had a lot of favourite chars accordingly. But, here we go, I will try to give this a bit of bandwith, because I have character types that speak to me much easier than others.

Boromir of Gondor

When did I fall in love with this character? At about 13, when I first read Lord of the Rings. I remember reading through the story, and wondering why none of his companions would try and reach out to him. Legolas and Gimli waste time arguing whether bow or sword is the better weapon, while beside them their comrade is slowly drifting off into darkness. Boromir also had some vibes of Hagan of Tronege from the Niebelungenlied to me, also a character who is considered dark, fierce and also fiercely loyal. While many consider Hagen the bad guy of the story, I also liked him best. The early picture of Boromir that I had in my mind, was close to the book describtion, black hair, very tall, haunted grey eyes and a scar on his forehead. Naturally when the movies came along, my favourite actor Sean Bean had the role, and the picture changed around a little. Watching his interpretation of Boromir seeded the first ideas for a story arc about him in my brain, though it would take me another ten years to sit myself down and write the story. In that story i then explored many of the questions I had since first reading the novel: What drove Boromir to such extremes? What happened to Gondor? How did Aragorn leaving after the Umbar campaign impact Gondor long.term? Even after finishing that huge arc, I still love Boromir as a character. His story has been with me for a long time, and will hopefully remain with me for a long time still.

2. Raistlin Majere

I discovered the dragonlance books by accident in my teens. And while the quality of the novels can be called into question, their humour certainly still echoes with me. That and... Raistlin. He was the character I found fascinating at once, and not just because he was the only one in the group actually using his brain. Unfortunately the authors had set up his split from the group and later his "fall" in War of the Twins, instead of really exploring the character with more depth. There was so much potential there, so much aspects to tell a story. Raistlin had the potential to be one of those compelling dark characters, who casn make the heroes torn, because while not with them on principle, their help is still invaluable. I sometimes consider writing a story about him, beginning from before his trials at the Tower of Wayreth and building the AU from there. But I would have to take huge liberties, and have yet to find just the right story companion for him. What draw me to Raistlin is his intelligence, also his detachment, his ability to see the situation for what it is, and not need delusions about hope or good, to sustain himself. He sees what is, and doesn't despair but come up with a plan. That nickname "the sly one" hit me hard when I first read about him, because it told me how judgemental those friends of his were.

3. Eskel

Ciri arriving in Kaer Morhen, and getting frightened by one of Geralt's comrades, because his face is clawed up in some manner... I still remember reading that scene, some time in the 90ies. I was curios at once, especially as scarface, ahm Eskel, proved to be a nice guy in the few scenes he had in the book. I liked him, and I wanted to know more about him. I came up with several stories how he had gotten his scars, and who he was outside of just one of Geralt's brothers. Unfortunately the author never bothered to tell us more about him. Then came the games and I was only marginally enticed by them. Some aspects are good, others are meh... and I will honestly admit that I am still so-so about the Diedre tale. Then came Netflix... and wow was I pissed. Eskel needed his own heroic story I decided and well... it happened. He's still my favourite Witcher, and hopefully will remain so.

Honourable Mentions

Lan al Mandragoran

Wheel of time was another series I devoured in the late 90ies (and on as new books came out), and Lan was my favourite character in them. I was sure he would die in Tarmon Gai'don, but that did not hinder me devouring everything about him. And what a confrontation in the last battle. Reading that, i was sure, so sure, he'd not come out of this alive, and so happy when he did. I would love to write a story about him and Tam meeting at the Blood Snow and upsetting the entire applecart of events.

Athos

Athos from the Three Musketeers is another childhood hero, from reading the books (Three Musketeers/Twenty Years After/ The Viscount of Bragelonne) when I was a young teen. I like Athos, is aloofness, his honour, is utter reality-defying sticking with said honour, and also his haunted past. He was one of my first fanfic subjects (cringe, the stories were so bad) and i still adore him to this day.

Tagging @regis-favorite-raven, @do-androids-dream-ao3acc, @lohrendrell and @eskel-loves-lilbleater to talk about their favourite characters and how they encountered them.

#ask game #nice asks #favorite characters #reading

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deiscension · 9 months ago

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so when can we expect this dissection of that lyric for sqx huh 👀🍿

@deathfavor You can get it right this instant if may be allowed to pull an swd and lose my entire gotdamn head. This isn't as detailed or organized as I'd like to get with it because I want to pull very specific lines from the different arcs they're involved in but I'm going to summarize as best as I can!

First off I need to emphasize that I think as "unfair" as what happens to SQX is, I think it needed to happen. I am putting "unfair" in air quotes because I'm also a HX defender and as terrifying and life-altering as Black Water arc is for them, I also do not think SQX would lament how "unfair" any of it was after the proverbial dust has settled (that's a discussion for another time though because I have A Lot Of Thoughts about swd's beheading + the direct aftermath + SQX not wanting to ascend again + immediately seeking to descend and not be sought out again after willingly giving up their powers).

SQX loves SWD, MY/HX, and XL. I refuse to put past tense there too okay she's full of love for better or worse. Usually for worse. I digress. She loves them, but she doesn't know them. She thinks she does. She's had no reason to believe she didn't, and that she was running out of time to know them all. That's why things had to happen the way they did. That's the price of her ignorance. It's not a faultless thing even if it was never meant to be malicious. And my GOD, she's lived her whole life in layers and layers of ignorance, all of it heaped onto her. She can go her whole life loving with all her heart but she has to learn how to actually know others, too. Let me try to break down what I mean through the three specific characters I mentioned. I am going to try to keep this short-ish because I will elaborate more when I've got the braincells and quotes to go for it but!! Here we go.

Also before I get into it, I don't mean to say that she didn't know any of them at all. She knew them all in exactly the ways they wanted to be known, in my opinion; not all of it convenient or surface level either! And she's a fair more insightful about all three of them than one might notice on a first reading. But she's still missed key facets of each one-- if I may be a bit heavy-handed, she's blinded by the sun and stumbling through the shadows, thinking that because she can't see those shadows they're not there. And that's not how people work. So!

Xie Lian -- while it is very indicative of the type of loyal, rational (when necessary), ride-or-die, and kindhearted person SQX is when they defend him against PM and then against the Heavenly Court, it goes to show just how easily blinded they are. Don't get me wrong, it also says a lot about their ability to think for themself (that's another bone I have to pick with popular fanon interpretation of them LOL) and not bend to social convention/pressure. But they're also letting one interaction inform them against centuries of history. Granted, we aren't ever told how much SQX knows about XL before coming across him at Banyue Pass. However, considering the amount of officials that play nice with SQX, I can't imagine they wouldn't have heard all matter of gossip-- truth mixed with tales and the like. And then there's the whole "he had remembered the flower but forgotten about the sword" line: SQX knows XL as a gentle, level-minded, experienced person. They haven't yet contended with his personal history. This trait of theirs is a double-edged sword. I can't imagine they wouldn't have reflected on this after being left in the Heavenly Capital. They would've never meant any harm by not digging into XL's past, but how ashamed they must feel of trying to be a good, reliable friend while remaining ignorant of all his past troubles.

Shi Wudu - that's her brother! She LOVES her brother! He's given her the world, he's kept her safe, he was the only person she had for so long-- the only person who didn't try to take advantage of her pain and ignorance and just wanted what was best for her. He'd never lie to her, he'd never hurt her, he'd never belittle her, he'd never give her reason to fear him. Not in any way that's anything more than a temporary sibling tiff. Except he did. Time and time again, he did. And I'm not saying this to disparage SWD because especially after a second reading of BW arc, I know SWD loved them too, and he is a fascinating character. We need characters like him alright, just as much as we also need SQXs and HXs and XLs and HCs and so forth. There's so much that needs to be taken into account when examining SWD's behavior towards SQX and how frightened SQX is of her own brother even before discovering the truth-- and I'd love to get into it but maybe not here because I'm already rambling soooo much LSDKFJSDF. Back to the point. SWD loved her. But at what point does love become a cage? At what point does it become hands around your throat? SQX has no idea what all was sacrificed for her. She's not allowed to know. Yes there's the iconic "the one he feared most had been beside him all along" about Ming Yi but HAVE WE CONSIDERED HOW MUCH IT APPLIES TO SWD TOO. HAVE WE!!!! Because I am Considering and I am Dry-heaving at how on the nose it is for SWD too. I already talked a little bit about it (here) but in his efforts to secure a place in the heavens for himself and her, SWD became the exact thing SQX hated and feared the most. SWD is a mirror to the Reverend, at least in actions. Gobbling up lives without a second thought, using fear as a means of control, laughing in the face of another's undeserved and unearned misery, "we've lived good lives"-- EVERYTHING SQX fears is her brother. Her brother, who she loves so much but didn't know nearly well enough.

I'm planning on doing a whole Shi sibling meta but I need to read through a few more passages with SWD first because while my brain is not particularly big I also refuse to misinterpret his character on purpose just because I sometimes want to give him a swift kick to the ass. SWD my beloathed-loved. Idk. Bestworst shitass brother. Still meditating upon that one though because they are both unreliable narrators with each other and XL is an unreliable narrator too so I have much to think about.

He Xuan - [gripping your shoulders and looking into your eyes] Help Me God I Am About To Explode. Where Do I Begin. I'm not gonna lie the first time I heard this part:

I was a kid until I fixed it Tore into a love affair Between me and what wasn't there Oh, I was kissing you Just to feel the air

my brain was like 'wow S.arah K.insley that's so SQX reflecting on her time with MY/HX you're so right'. Which is what led me to thinking even more about all SQX's other relationships too. I know fandom has a lot of contention in how to read into their relationship pre-BW arc and post-BW arc. Frankly I am here to cry as hard as I can and as long as I can so based on my second reading of BW arc + the way SQX acts with both MY/HX and comparing it to how she is with everyone else, I think her feelings with MY/HX are deeper than they're often given credit for. SQX is "friends with everyone", sure. But to HER, MY is her first true friend. Her most beloved, most trusted, most treasured friend. And she never really knew him. Oh, we can point the finger at him and say "well, he was pretending to be someone he wasn't, she wouldn't have found anything out either way". To that I say yes-- and I'm sure SQX did try to poke around for more, but she's so carefree and trusting, it seems logical to me that she would've taken his prickliness and closed-off nature as "just how he is".

All we have about her social life before ascending is pure speculation. I know I'm not presenting good evidence for my reasoning at the moment (I really want to cook up a post about the type of sheltered life SQX lived because all that spoiling and opulence came in after being brought into the middle court-- like yes SWD spoiled them by always being the one to take care of the difficult things, but again! Another topic for later! I have much to say about SQX's learned helplessness there). SQX didn't have anyone but her ge. I'm sure she had "lots of friends" in the Middle Court too. But she didn't have a capital-f-Friend. And then-- she has MY! Someone who's not trying to get to her brother through her (LOLLLLLLLL), someone who doesn't disappear during times of storm, someone who doesn't disguise their true nature or intentions for the sake of personal gain (LOL x2). Well I'm laughing there but again- HX defender. I digress, again. SQX isn't latching onto MY out of pure convenience. If SQX wanted to befriend someone who goes along with all her whims, never gives her a hard time, and plays coy for her amusement, she has thousands to choose from. Hell her brother could've picked for her. But she wants MY as her best friend and closest confidant. It would've been so easy for her to dump him on his ass and chase after best friend status with XL if all her clinging to MY was purely informed by self-interest and the desire to feel good about herself all the time. They themself even say that XL has earned "second best friend" status during the beginning of BW arc, all while XL is objectively the only person giving her tangible comfort. She doesn't just want a best friend, she wants her best friend Ming-xiong. My god! He's the first they cry out for at what's arguably their lowest: right after willingly giving up their power, when it turns out their brother is the type of person they've always feared the most, when it's clear they cannot save anyone, they cannot even save themself.

And oh, how she wanted to be the same for him! She risked HC's wrath (or at least she thought she was, which is also so funny in greater context) to "rescue" him. She would've done anything for him. Except she couldn't. She didn't know him. She failed him so terribly, so miserably, so shamefully. Him and everyone else who loved him and actually knew him, the ones who died so she could have a life she hadn't earned. We both know how agonizing those moments in the Nether Water Manor-- but what about the aftermath? What about when it was just them stumbling around, after the fear and shock had worn off, with nothing but their own audacious words echoing around in their head? "This whole thing has nothing to do with Ming-xiong, but he had to suffer like this". THEY DIDN'T KNOW THE HALF OF IT! And they said it with such grief then-- well, what about now? How much worse had they made his suffering? Had he felt nothing but revulsion that whole time? Had she made his loneliness, his suffering, his weariness worse? All those times she told him not to worry, all those times spent fussing over him, (trying to) dote on him, looping her arm through his and pulling him this way and that. Did it mean anything at all? He was her best friend, he was who she wanted at her side, but who was she to him? Was he ever really there?

But SQX is too empathetic to only think about herself when it comes to such pains. Once the wallowing wore off, how often did she spend wondering about him? Knowing that of anyone in the heavens and on earth, he was the one deserving of the good life, he was the one deserving of someone who loved him for who he was. What a fool she was for thinking she was that someone! She couldn't even call the right name. She did indeed cause the death of her closest family. She did indeed cause the death of her best friend. And what can she do? What can she say? Sorry doesn't bring anyone back; sorry doesn't make everything better; sorry doesn't make up for being unworthy of the time she squandered at his side, all because she didn't know. Ignore, for a moment, the fear and trauma now casting impenetrable shadows over the image of "her best friend", and consider: by any grace yet again unearned, could she ever accept an offering of forgiveness for such grievances?

I know SQX is doing "fine" as a mortal, she has friends that don't just want something out of them, and I know she's taking better care to practice knowing along with loving. But it just kills me how all her life she has had "everything" but nothing at the same time. None of it was hers. She did nothing to earn it, no matter how much she as a person deserved it. What's deserved without earned, after all?

#▌ ◈ ooc ; ⌜ he fucking ascended again! ⌟#▌ ◈ SHI QINGXUAN ; ⌜ study ⌟#deathfavor #collapses into a boneless heap in front of you. TYSM FOR ASKING BRIT. I'M IN SHAMBLES.#don't uh. don't mind how long the last bit is.#i have a lot of feelings and thoughts about all sqx's canon relationships #but i in particular have Many Many thoughts and Many Many feelings about sqx and hx #'short-ish' [folds my hands in my lap and smiles beatifically] i love being a liar!

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happyk44 · 1 year ago

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[A little brother-sister Fluff and anxiety, because I'm a weakling].

She didn't know why she was doing it and didn't understand.

In fact, she didn't want an understanding of her behavior.

she didn't understand why on rare cold nights she wrapped Percy with a specially stolen warm blanket for him.

And she sat for a long time before going to bed and looked at his peaceful but lively face, unlike hers.

She didn't know why she was looking for more money or giving her own when Percy didn't have enough for exactly the burger he wanted, although she needed to remove the hunger.

"good sister" said faceless sympathizers.

She didn't care.

She didn't know why when Percy's hair grew, she stole combs and hairpins and braided his braid.

a normal person could say that Percy turned out to be very cute with a thin braid falling on his shoulder and hairpins in the form of starfish — she could say that he looked like an abandoned porcelain doll.

She didn't know why when Percy had another incoherent, but terrible nightmare, instead of the usual brief look and return to sleep, she hugged him to her — people called it hugs.

she pressed him into herself and put his head on her chest, and his torso was between her legs.

Percy stared at her with wide-open eyes, salt flowed down his cheek and he sniffed and buried his face in her neck, his body pressed tightly against her.

the pose their sleep was strange — she was half-sitting, half-lying, Percy curled up half-foetus on her, laying his head on her chest and drooling.

That night Percy still shuddered and moaned fearfully in his sleep, for some reason she ran her fingers through his hair and cheeks.

He calmed down and even smiled a little in his sleep.

his skin and hair were soft and slightly damp, for some reason she wanted to touch them.

"Caring", her mother had told her, "when you love someone or at least feel sympathy for him, you do small or big and pleasant things for him".

She frowned trying to understand this concept.

"Is it like you told Aunt Monica that I would be silent and not talk to her sons because I want it?".

"yes honey".

"I only want to take care of you".

"Her mother smiled at her."I will ask your father that when I am gone, you have another person you would like to take care of."

Her mother knelt down and hugged her.

Caring is a strange and incomprehensible thing for her, but what she does for Percy is exactly what it looks like.

Percy — her little brother and he belongs to her.

most likely their meetings were not accidental and Neptune, remembering her mother's prayers, gave it to her.

she has already softened him and made him pliable in her hands — he is no longer squeamish about himself.

But she will need to let him go, let him go to Jupiter's camp because she knows that something more than her is waiting for him.

It's good that she knows how to do what she doesn't want...

This is soooooooo cute!!

I mean yeah! Just because someone has SzPD or vibes close enough to it but doesn't quite hit the criteria doesn't mean they're without affection or positive emotions. Honestly you're giving me so much inspo 😂

I'm gonna go w/ Coral as a name for my version of this character (obvi ours aren't like one-to-one same, but you can use Coral too if you'd like, I just picked it at random yesterday when I finished writing that other fic and realized I should probably give her a name lmao)

Despite what others said, she wasn't a psychopath. It was an insult she heard more than most people probably did until the night she grabbed her things and left the group. The kids in school, a couple of older cousins, an aunt. Even a couple of the Wolf House kids had muttered it in her direction. Others probably said it too. Behind her back when she wasn't aware.

The first time someone called her that she asked her mother what it meant. She was seven. Her cousin had hurt himself. She didn't know how, but there he was crying in the hallway as she left the bathroom with damp hands. There were no obvious signs of injury. He wasn't bleeding, no bones were broken. All that was wrong was his tears and his clinging grip to his leg.

So she carried on to the kitchen because she was hungry and wanted something to eat.

Eventually her aunt went looking for her son, and found the blubbering mess he was. Coral didn't know what was said. But whatever was, it had her aunt come barreling into the kitchen, spitting vitriol and expletives while Coral held a glass of water and cookie in either hand.

It was a confusing event. He wasn't dying. Why did she need to make him feel better? Why did she need to go get an adult from where they were all congregated outside? She didn't want to talk to anyone.

As she always had, her mother came roaring to her defense in seconds. There had been a contested yelling match - screams from her aunt, moderated but loud tone from her mother. They went home shortly after. Her mother's first thing when they arrived home was to pull out the dictionary. Aloud she had read out the definition of psychopath. Then, as always, gave a couple general examples that had Coral confused over why her aunt would call her that.

Flipping back the pages, she said, You are not a psychopath, guppy. You just don't have empathy. She read aloud the definition of empathy. Once finished, she pressed both hands against the table on either side of the book. Not everyone can easily put themselves in other people's shoes. I have trouble with it. Your father can't do it at all. People like us have to focus on sympathy and compassion.

Both words were explained to her. Compassion was the one that had stumped her. She knew her cousin was upset. He was crying. Crying usually meant someone was sad or hurt. She understood that, was sympathetic to it. But she was hungry and he wasn't bleeding, so his tears didn't matter. Why did she have to stop and give him a hug over something that didn't matter?

I wasn't feeling well last week, her mother had said. But I wasn't dying. I wasn't bleeding. I wasn't throwing up. You still made me soup.

Coral considered that. How she'd stood on a footstool in front of the stove, opening a can of soup into a pot. Then carrying the pot at a snail's pace to where her mother was resting. She'd laughed at the time, before thanking Coral and telling her not to use the stove without permission.

But she had been stuffed up with a small cold. And Coral knew that people were supposed to eat chicken noodle soup when they weren't feeling well. It was what her mother did for her. It was on the TV in shows and commercials.

I care about you, she said. Should I pretend other people are you so I can care about them?

Her mother had laughed. No, guppy. I don't think that would work for you. You've never been good at that kind of visualization. But you know how it works, yes? When a child cries, their family hugs them and reassures them that they are safe. When a person is injured, you call an ambulance and try to help until it arrives. When someone is cold, you offer warmth.

Scripts, Coral said. She understood social scripts, even if she didn't get them. Niceties. Saying hello to people as you pass them by, holding the door open when someone is following you out, sharing the toys at school or on the playground.

Listening to your little brother as he tells you about the things he went through in the weeks after your farewell.

When he'd first flagged her down, there was an obvious change in him. However, it was hidden behind a fragile mask. It had been months since they last spoke. He followed her to the closest park. Settling down on the grass felt reminiscent of their last day together months ago. Bag of food between them, sun shining above, and a sense of things to come.

He'd laughed as he told her, Oh, I'm the son of Poseidon actually.

While she had never thought about it before, it wasn't a surprise. The world was a big place. Why would the Roman pantheon be the only ones out there?

As Percy explained things, she pieced together a separate understanding.

She had wanted him to embrace the storm he so clearly kept at bay. There was nothing to fear from a hurricane. A typhoon. A tsunami. He just needed to let go of that worry. But there were signs that he couldn't. That emotion was an important part of the storm. Something she couldn't comprehend.

Now it clicked. The old adages - the sea is loving, the sea is hateful, the sea is angry, the sea is calm. For him, the ocean was an emotional entity. Where Neptune was apathetic, Poseidon was passionate. That passion carried down to Percy, as apathy carried down to her, and left him needing emotion to generate the storm.

It made sense.

The Greeks prioritized Poseidon more than the Romans did. Fisherman, casual sailors, navies, those who lived too close to the coast - they'd see the sea differently than the Romans, who really only encountered the sea for conquest purposes.

In Rome the ocean didn't care about you, because they didn't care much about it. But in Greece prayers to Poseidon were likely made often - clear seas, plentiful fish, no sea monsters. Storms and destruction meant he was angry. Gentle tides and full nets meant he was happy. There was meaning to the way his waves crashed against the rocks.

Just as there was meaning to the way Percy pulled at the skin on his wrist. As he spoke, turning tide to what had happened after she left, his gaze cut far away from her. Haggard down and tired, his voice pulled out of him with a low rasp. Every word was clipped of detail. Trimmed down to the barest bones.

It wasn't for her benefit. He was sticking to the shallows for his own. Traumas slept in the depths. He wanted to stay surfaced with only the lap of it against their feet.

Silence poked its head up between them after he finished with bitten off words about his suicide attempt and how he was staying elsewhere, hiding from gods. Ah, she thought. That's why he had come to her.

His question cut the background noise. "How do you do it?" She cocked her head. "Just. Not feel." He pressed his hand to his chest. "I'm so tired of feeling everything all the time."

She opened her mouth to answer. Then paused. Her breath held frozen in her throat. Slowly she let it out and shook her head. "I don't feel. I've always been empty." She tilted her head, caught his sea-green eyes. "I thought you knew that."

He chewed on his lower lip before answering. "Yeah." He turned away to face the the rest of the park, staring with a vague and distant look. "I just. I thought..."

As his voice faded away, his gaze dipped down to his hands. One was tightly gripped to his drink. The other lied flat on his thighs. He twitched it. Trying to remember he was real.

She turned away. The grass was swaying gently in the low breeze. There were little kids running around. One tripped over their stubby legs and fell. Their friends shrieked and ran over to check on them. Internally she knew she should feel something for that kid, feel something over the events. But only empty indifference pumped through her heart.

"Not feelings things isn't all its cracked up to be," she said. "I know when one brand tastes better than another, but there's no joy to create a preference." She gestured loosely. "Even swimming - I never got excited at the idea of it. My mother knew I enjoyed going out into the ocean. But I felt nothing about it. I still don't."

Quiet curiousity passed through Percy's eyes. "You don't feel settled?"

"I don't feel anything." She turned back to the front. The kids were now chasing each other again. The child who fell was laughing, the sound of their voice carrying faintly over. "If anything is there, it's shipwrecked and buried deep."

She picked up a few french fries from the bag between them. After eating, she licked the salt from her fingers. "Not feeling won't stop you from getting hurt," she added. "But it will stop you from keeping your Annabeth." He lit up briefly at the sound of her name. "People don't like being friends with robots."

He snorted. "I know a guy who'd disagree with you on that." He pulled his drink out and peeled the leftover paper from the top of the straw. "Besides, haven't you seen any movies? Lots of people have robot friends."

"Those robots are human," she said. "They're just made of mechanics." She considered another french fry. "The ones that aren't human want to be. They don't feel but they learn what it is to feel. To dream. To care. They are not empty or devoid. That's why those characters have robot friends. And it's why I don't have any."

The paper rolled between his fingertips. "And that doesn't bother you?"

She held her hand out for the paper. It rolled off his thumb and onto her palm. "No." She stared at the little white ball. "It doesn't."

There were a few trial friendships through her life. But either the classification of "friend" didn't suit them to how she knew friends were supposed to be or they were bothersome and she told them outright, flatly, to leave her alone because they were annoying.

Her openness tended to get her sent to the principal's office. Or the counselor. Who, often, wound up sending her to the principal's office.

When the wolves took her away, she was pleased it wasn't a group of people trying to drag her along. Animals were always pleasant to be around. She liked their elderly cat, a black and white girl, who spent most of her time napping wherever she fell over. If she crawled into Coral's lap for a nap, Coral was never bothered by it. The same went for the wolves when they nipped and nudged her into warm wolf piles.

Wolves were pack animals though. With that understanding, the Wolf House was unwanted. Would she have no choice but to befriend someone? To make the bonds that slipped off her like soap before? Was she willing to try? Would it work out for her this time? Or would she just be gritting her teeth and trying to get through the training before making her escape?

There were social aspects at the Wolf House. Teamwork was emphasized. Coral was decent at teamwork. She didn't quite understand what the point of it was - protect the pack and all that. She'd asked Lupa once. The wolf goddess' answer didn't make sense, and she rebuffed her when Coral told her so.

It's been so long, I forgot, she'd said so loud in Coral's head. Children of the sea do not understand the purpose of the pack. Run along, pup.

I'm a guppy, Coral said aloud. I would be called a fry, not a pup.

Lupa growled. The warning was obvious, though Coral didn't know why it was being given. The growl faded out slow. All the while Coral stared deep into black eyes, unbothered and unafraid. In the back of her mind, she had the sense that she was supposed to be. That Lupa was a creature to fear. The other kids trembled when she stalked by. The wolves bowed their heads to her.

Coral never did. She found no reason to.

The final social aspect of the Wolf House was the journey to Camp Jupiter. It was awful.

From hour one of their venture, she'd become exhausted by the people she was with. The only exception was the Mors' girl. She was chattier than expected out of a child of death itself, but she was not intrusive. Where the others moaned about every little problem that came their way, she was more anecdotal. The few times she vented Coral didn't find herself winded by any of the words.

"Friendship isn't something I've ever needed," she said. "But you like your Annabeth. You need feelings to like her. And to like the other people I'm sure you have who are important to you.."

"Yeah," Percy said. His straw bounced against his lower lip. "Grover." A gentle smile tugged at the edge of his lips. "And my mom. She's great."

Coral nodded. "My mother's good too. I think she's the only person who loves me. And I didn't mind being around her before I left home." She glanced over at a dog jogging alongside their owner, then cut her eyes to Percy. "But I don't miss her."

He went stiff, eyes widening just a smidge. His grip on his drink tightened.

She leaned back on her hands. "I don't even know if I love her. I don't know what love is." She shrugged. "It's an intensity I don't have the capacity to experience."

Rumination slipped across his face. He sipped from his drink. She turned away The kids were now chasing each other again. The child who fell was laughing, the sound of their voice carrying faintly over.

When his sips turned into trying to drink the leftover ice through his straw, he said, "I can't imagine not loving my mom." There was a quiet grain in his voice. Not quite pity. An internal stress at the thought. A fearful possiblity. He popped the lid off his drink and shook the ice inside. "Or not being sure that I did."

She reached over and pressed the side of his cup with the tip of her forefinger. The sensation of rapid melting tickled against her palm. Once all that was left in his cup was cold water mixing with the soda he picked, she pulled away.

"No," she said. "It doesn't."

The phrase itself was spoken infrequently in their house, and only by her mother. She wasn't required to echo it back. Once, and only once, she asked what love was - what defined it, how people knew they felt it. The dictionary definition was vague at best. Intense feeling of deep affection for people. The definition for love of a thing made more sense to her - great interest and enjoyment. But even there she was stumped.

Coral, herself, was hollowed out and empty most of the time. When she wasn't, it was only the barest sense of emotion. Annoyance or confusion featured the most. It was vague haziness. Like a question mark of an emotion, versus a concrete feeling.

The emptiness made people difficult. Their problems, their needs. It all crafted a straightjacket she wanted to avoid. Lonely kids would try to befriend her at school only to realize she was not equipped to or interested in dealing with their sadness. She could play games with them. She could visit their house. She could sleep beside them in a sleeping bag.

But once they attached themselves to her side at all times, once they piled on or prodded at her empty center, the simplicity of what once was would immediately fall apart. Annoyance was usually what she felt. A vague creeping sense of wrongness.

The lack of space, physical or otherwise, was a cage. She wasn't an animal. Their endless emotional needs were burials, every word a shovelful of dirt trying to crush and suffocate her. Sticking their hands through her hollowed core and demanding something that wasn't there was just purely bothersome.

However, with her mother, with the girl before, with Percy? It was easier. Her mother gave her space at an early age. The Mors' girl never asked her to carry her problems like others did. Percy believed her when she said she felt nothing emotionally. They didn't require her to adapt herself to fix the world's silly molds.

With that in mind, she took a slow breath and reached over to pull Percy into her side. He stiffened up in surprise, but went easy.

"Coral-"

"Shush," she said. "It's called compassion." His laugh cut short with a quiet cry that he stifled. She stroked his hair. It had grown out some, still short, but shaggier now. "I'm not good at emotion. But I know they're important to have." She let him go and stood up. Gathering up their things, she held her hand out. "Come on."

There were worse things than a motel room. Despite popular theory, she found a good number of them to be clean and comfortable. Maybe the decor was strange, the carpet dull with time, but they were livable. That's what mattered.

Her current motel had a bathtub that she bullied Percy into. Turning on the tap, she sat on the dry side. The only sound between them was the sloshing of the water. Once it filled to just below the edge of the tub, she turned the tap off.

"I don't feel," she said. "But sometimes when I was younger, I would know that I was a certain way, even if the feeling wasn't there." She tapped the water. It rippled out across Percy's clothed torso. "Sitting in the tub would make those thoughts fade away."

Percy splashed the water over his exposed knees. "You think it'll make my feelings fade."

"No." She crossed her arms over the edge of the tub. "Those feelings are a wound that needs to heal. The tub isn't a therapist." She drew up a little spout of water that splashed against his cheek. "But it'll help."

He splashed the water over his knee again. Then again. Then again. Then turned his face just enough to catch her eyes. "Why are you trying to help me?"

"My mother told me that sympathy and compassion were important to focus on when you're not born with empathy," she said. She rested her chin on her wrists. "And I care about you." His brows furrowed. Her cheek squished into the back of her hand. "I don't need to feel things to know who's important, Percy."

She pulled back, planted her palms against the edge of the tub, and pushed up enough to lean over and kiss the top of his head. She counted to five in her head, then pulled back and relaxed back into the soft gray bathmat.

"I'm still a person," she added. "Even numb limbs feel something. The wires just get crossed so nothing processes. Or they don't know what it is, and that vagueness gets written off as absence. But even if people think I am, I'm not a robot."

He tilted his face away. Then leaned against the back of the tub. "Sometimes I don't know what I'm feeling. It's just a fog. But I know it's a lot." He closed his eyes. "And it's hurts." A ragged exhale shattered from his lungs. His hands drew up to the side of his head, gripping at his hair. "I just wanna stop. Feeling. Anything."

The water beneath him stirred. It cycled in a slow circle around him, before increasing in speed. The mini bathwater waves slashed against the rim of the tub.

"You can't," she said. "Even our father feels." She reached over and began detaching his hands from his head one finger at a time. "Your version is too emotional. Mine isn't. But he still feels, as small as it might be." Lowering both his hands into the water, she held onto them. He shook in her grip. "It's why he has his wife. It's why I'm here. Why the others before me were born. Even the uncaring sea knows that emotion is necessary to live."

Grief and distress covered his wet face. The water slowed down but thrashed around him, as though a writhing creature.

Or a drowning man.

She squeezed his hands. "You're lucky. Feeling the hurt means you know what the cause is. You can work it out, Percy. Not feeling anything means it takes you two months to realize the strangeness in your head every time you answer the phone is actually annoyance, or discomfort, because your classmate won't leave you alone."

His laugh was watery. His chest heaved in thick weary breaths. The water drew cold and colder, as though it was gearing up for a winter freeze.

Releasing one of his hands under the water, she cupped his cheek. "I can't be upset that I don't feel, because I can't feel enough to be upset. But I know it's something worthwhile because if it wasn't, the lack of it in myself wouldn't be so noticeable."

Their foreheads bumped together. Her eyes drew down to their entwined hands. She stroked his cheek until his breathing relaxed. His breath was warm against her skin. Sunlight slipped through her mind. Reflective waves. Boiling geysers.

"I'm dying." The words cut out of him in a whisper, a rasped confession. Even under the growing heat, he shivered. "It's like I'm trapped in a hurricane. No matter how hard I fight, I can't get out it." His voice went hoarse. "It wants to kill me."

"It's not going to kill you. Stop fighting it," she said. "Embrace the storm, remember?" She squeezed his hand again. "It's the only way you can get back to the calm."

#my writing #my fanfic #percy jackson #happy's asks #happy talks pjo #glitterytheoristmentality #oof i am. sleepy tired. but heyo! got another one. hugs and hugs everybody #at some point i should write down how coal is for some consistency between these drabbles but lmao who's got the time #daughters of neptune

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pearwaldorf · 1 year ago

Text

20 questions for fic writers

sorta tagged by @antivanruffles

How many works do you have on ao3?

130 excluding the the podfics I'm listed as a co-author on

2. What's your total ao3 word count?

230,000. I'm a very succinct writer!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently OFMD. I have written a lot of (in descending order) Star Wars sequel trilogy, Good Omens, Dragon Age: Inquisition, Critical Role, and MCU.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

we wore the jacket for the longest time (Star Wars ST, Finn/Poe/Rey, 3200)

well you laughed baby it's okay (it's buzzcut season anyways) (nsfw; Good Omens, Aziraphale/Crowley, 1100)

human sacrifice and mass hysteria (nsfw, DA:I, Cullen/Dorian, 1080) This one has a weirdly long tail. I still get bursts of kudos on it every now and then.

balance theory (The Old Guard, Joe/Nicky foe yay, 660)

taste the stardust in my mouth (Star Wars ST, Finn/Poe/Rey, 560)

5. Do you respond to comments?

I do not. I don't have enough energy to write and respond to comments, so I'm sure people would rather I write. They are all appreciated though <3

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

a knife on the things that held us together for sure. It sets up the rift between Han and Leia after Ben's attack on the Praxeum and it's the last time Leia sees her brother. I was so emotionally wiped by it I couldn't even think about writing for two weeks hahaha

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of my fics have happy endings, or at least hopeful ones.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

If I do nobody has ever told me.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do! I'm not sure what "what kind" means.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I've written exactly one, the Will Graham/Aziraphale one (I swear it makes sense in context). ngl it's pretty weird. Plenty of AUs set in different universes though!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I have. Somebody plagiarized "but you laughed baby" beat for beat. When I confronted them about it they said they must have subconsciously regurgitated it. Binch, I had to reread my own fic to compare, don't give me that shit. (They deleted their entire account afterwards. I'm not sad.)

12. What's the longest you've spent working on one fic? And the shortest?

Shortest is drabbles, and those take anywhere from 15-30 minutes. Longest? I still have a Mass Effect fic that I've been picking at on and off since 2012. I should just finish it up.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have not.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

I refuse to pick.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

The Good Omens While You Were Sleeping AU is my only actual posted WIP. There are Reasons I tend not to post unfinished stuff.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I'm really good at nailing character voices and dialogue. I think I'm decent at striking a balance between pretty language and making sure it still moves things along. I have been told I'm very good at intimate character interaction.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

What the fuck is a plot?

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Unless you're going for the half-remembered vocabulary because diaspora kid vibe (which I did in my Shang-Chi fic), get somebody fluent to translate for you. The amount of horrific Spanish I've seen in OFMD fic is... not good.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

X2! I thought I was very clever making puns on "le petit mort" in a Rogue fic

20. Favorite fic you've written?

I have a series! I love the extremely weird ones I wrote just for myself that nobody else seems to like, although the Ed/Blackbeard/Stede one is an exception.

I am where memes go to die, so if you want to do this, consider yourself tagged.

#pear does a meme

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rylredrants · 7 months ago

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Thank you for Judging Me

My estrangement from my mother was never meant to be a war.

I didn’t cut her out of my life because I wanted her to suffer or because I wanted people to pick a side. All I wanted was peace.

I wanted… no, needed to put myself in a place where I could more easily give up on ever getting the things I needed from her: an acknowledgment that her choices and actions hurt me profoundly and maybe some kind of apology for all the times she failed to protect me. Instead, she fed me to the wolves that lived under her roof and made me feel responsible for the claw marks left on my body and soul.

I needed to give up on the idea of ever feeling mothered so that I could work towards more acceptance and find a way to heal myself. Nothing I say or do can fix what was broken between us because she is simply incapable of seeing past her own pain, and that's sad.

She can't step out of the victim role long enough to consider that while I’m a survivor today, I was a child then. I was a child who needed a mother; I was not and am not just another old soul put in her life to guide and teach her.

That’s a hard truth I’ve wrestled with for decades.

Keeping her in my life meant holding on to a glimmer of hope; I can’t and won’t hold onto that anymore. Seeing how she reacted to my telling the truth so openly only reinforces what I know to be true.

The newly added layer to all of this was learning that a relative called her about my social media and said that I should seek therapy.

Well, dear relative, don a robe and take up a gavel if you're here to judge me. Seat yourself front and center where I can address you directly.

I submit to the court that you haven’t acknowledged me in decades.

My fragmented memories include being yelled at until I cried, being looked down on, and feeling small around you. Even as a small child, I inherently knew that you viewed us as poor, white trash relatives who deserved pity and contempt but never empathy.

Each Christmas, a gift from you sat under the tree. I knew it was from you because of the wrapping paper covered in the toy company logo you worked for. I knew it was mine because there were two and the other one had my brother's name. Mine, however, was labeled with some variations of a boy's name with the same first and last letter as my own.

You couldn't be bothered to relay the correct 4 letters to the assistant who handled the task. I wasn't even the correct name on your list of family obligations.

You sit and judge me without having the courage or decency to speak up and tell me what you really think of me. You call others for answers to questions I would have given without guilt, blame or shame.

None of this is my fault. I didn’t choose to be a family scandal but I am choosing to share my story in my way.

I refuse to stay hidden like your own eldest child who, no matter how much I dig, I’m unable to find a trace of anywhere on your social media.

Keeping secrets only fosters shame.

And if YOU had ever done any meaningful therapy you might realize just how important and cathartic it is to speak up and to help others.

I didn’t decide I was special and needed to be heard. I was told time and time again how wise I was and how I was able to help someone else feel what I always needed… to feel safe, seen, valued and loved.

I wouldn’t keep writing, sharing, and shrieking into this digital void if I hadn’t heard the echo returning… Thank you! Hearing your story has helped me heal, too, more than once.

Thank you, judgmental relative, for validating what I remembered about your character.

#family drama #estranged parents #estrangement #childhood trauma #this is why I write

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fireemblems24 · 2 years ago

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Engage 9 - 11

Spoilers and thoughts below the cut. Pretty big spoilers for the story this time.

You know it's a good sign when I'm already making plans for the next playthrough. I still want to finish Three Hopes, but Engage is so much fun to play, and there's already so many things I want to do differently to optimize more.

Alcryst and Celine's C support was pretty deep for a C support. They bonded over worrying about their older brothers dying.

Chloe is such a hopeless romantic.

I sense Louis and Chloe may have a romantic leaning support. She understands his ways and he finds her interesting. Their hobbies overlap. He said some stuff that could easily sway romantic is anyone but Louis was saying it . . .

Alfred is so fucking precious, omg. It's so funny remembering people were suspicious of him after his official art was released. Like, I doubt it would even occur to this guy to do something shady or devious. His and Yukana's support started pretty good.

One of my favorite things about Alear is that she's not stupid. Sure, the MC is very basic and generically heroic, but isn't annoying either. Doesn't rush into battle. Isn't irritatingly naïve, etc . . . It's nice.

I'd really like to know more about why Brodia keeps invading the mage country. They said some generic stuff about the mages wanting to wake the fell dragon up, but I hope there's more too it than that.

Oh, shocking, the Brodian king dies (is dying, got shot by that baddie). I'm so surprised. Parents. Dying in my Fire Emblem?

I have a feeling Ivy will be recruitable soon. All her retainers felt guilt fighting the divine dragon, and now her dad left her here to just die. She also lost her ring to us, so that's probably lowered her status on the enemy side too. She also offered her allies a chance to retreat. Definitely doesn't seem evil.

Found Citrinne and Diamant's support interesting. Diamant says he doesn't plan on waging wars when he's king. He acknowledges that it's good for his nobles because it makes them rich, but otherwise is something he wants to avoid. Citrinne supports this and seems to have some kind of diplomatic/messenger role in Brodia.

One of Alfred's talents is making flower garlands 😊. Pretty sure I'm picking him for my S-Support. He's just too adorable, plus I think he and Alear work. Right away he offered friendship and help, and they just have compatible personalities.

Forget Alfred being Dimitri's child, Dimitri is Alfred and Diamant's child. Like he is a bit like both of them smashed together.

Ok, I'm worried. Marth told me I need to stock up on supplies before ch 10 started. This reeks of back-to-back chapters.

I want Rosado on my team so bad already. And Hortensia is not annoying me anymore. She seems honestly worried about Ivy and seems to have no idea what her father is up too.

The artwork for all the places in this game are gorgeous.

Another parent bites the dust. The Brodian king got corrupted. I feel bad for the two brothers.

I made Alcryst attack his own dad. The dialogue made me feel so guilty. It made me feel much worse than Diamant's, until his second half. Alcryst is really growing me as a character too.

Glad the good guys actually tried to kill the villain even though he begged for mercy. That mysterious hooded person showed up (bet it's that girl Alear keeps talking too who had chains on her legs). Also bet it's brainwashing thing. Edit: At least 1/2 guesses right. Ok, probably 2/2 right since this version has never spoken to Alear.

Fell dragon about to eat the king lamo. Literally ate him in a cut scene lol.

Ok, so the 4 wolves are 3 unhinged people and the old guy, who is either a Camus or recruitable later.

Oh. Shit. We just lost the rings. Honestly, I'm more upset seeing all my old protagonists getting turned evil against their will than losing them in gameplay. To be honest, I didn't use them THAT much. It hurts way worse seeing red Marth, Sigurd, Celica, Micaiah, Roy, and Lief.

Losing the Time Crystal. THAT hurts like shit.

Our team took a major L. Honestly, good. 3H's storyline blows this one out of the water, but part of the issue with it was that Edelgard always got her ass kicked except in CF where you just romped over everyone as easily as everyone railroaded over her.

I'm really regretting bringing Citrine and Amber right about now. They're dead weight compared to everyone else who more or less can handle themselves with Alfred, Celine, and Yukana being neigh unkillable at this point.

Fuck yeah! Ivy is here to help me out. And her retainers.

She brought rings. She brought the time turning thingy. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 Thank GOD. It's annoying as fuck to reset an entire chapter over a misclick or something and I can't ever let anyone die. I literally think I allowed one person to die the entire time I've played Fire Emblem lol, and this was before turnback was ever a thing too. Zelkov is my new favorite for this. I could kiss him.

Ah!!!! Lyn. And Lucina 😭😭😭😭😭 My girls. 😭😭😭 Lamo, Alear confused Lucina for Marth.

Ok, that chapter was a lot easier than I thought it would be. I stopped after ch 10 yesterday and was wondering about 11, but not too bad. So far, the difficulty balance in this game is pretty good.

Ivy MVP. Happy to have her after that.

Alear, Alcryst, and Diamant all being like "I'm sorry. It's my fault!" Ivy being like "kinda is a bit my fault." Meanwhile Alfred is just awkwardly sitting here being like . . . "I'm the only who didn't make a dumb call here."

I like seeing Alcryst get angry with Ivy. It seems so human. I like the royal characters so far a lot, except Hortensia but she's growing on me. I just wish Celine also got more attention.

This kinda feels a bit like the end of a part 1.

#fire emblem #fire emblem engage #fe engage #fe17

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lyon-amore · 1 year ago

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Crossed destinies Oneshot

*Oneshot inspired by some chats I did, although I have changed the topic and the situation for something much better. I've been wanting to write it for so long, and it's finally here! It's something that I imagined a long time ago when I started creating my character. So I hope, you like it*

I looked at myself in the mirror in my new clothes. The makeup that I wear now is much more discreet, in lighter tones. I have gotten rid of all dark tones, chains, spiked bracelets, chokers… Anything that makes me a person… Normal. Although normal can sometimes become very superficial.

Well almost normal, I still have my hair dyed black. I hope to return to my natural blonde soon.

Normal. What is that word for people actually? Right now, I'm not sure. I only know that after everything that has happened, I don't want to remember the case that almost made them discover one of the secrets of the police station: that I help my father and his team in their cases.

No.

Helped.

I don't do it anymore.

I also did it as an internship, because I saw myself helping him as an adult. Now that dream has been shattered, I don't want to know anything about investigations. Never.

It's looking in the mirror and I don't recognize myself. It's like I’m seeing another person. Maybe it's a little silly to change the way I dress just because of what has happened, but it is assumed that when you want to turn the page, you make big changes. Well, this is one of them. So I will not remember this stage of my life.

I get a message and pick up my phone. Gabriel, my best friend, was claiming me. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Gabbe Hey, is it still worth going to that abandoned church in the end? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I hit myself on the forehead. I had completely forgotten about it. I've been so stressed these days that I feel like everything is going at the speed of a train or a plane. I don't have it in control. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Macie Sorry Gabbe, I completely forgot 🤦‍♀️ Today I have ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I send it incomplete. If I told him, he would surely be mad at me. And more knowing if he knew with whom. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Gabbe You have? Something has happened?

Macie Well… Do you remember Adler?

Gabbe How not to forget that asshole 😑 He and his friends decided to put pictures of satan on my table Do they think that because I'm goth I have to adore that man?

Macie Yeah, an asshole...

Gabbe Has he done something to you? Because if it is, then he will deal with me!

Macie I appreciate your “protective brother” mode, dear friend, but it has done nothing to me But he has asked me out

Gabbe … Adler? The same Adler who tells us to go back to Halloween Town? Hey, if you're starting to take drugs and you're having a hallucinogenic trip right now, you can be honest with me

Macie No, I haven’t started taking drugs I just ran into him at the mall when I went shopping for new clothes and he invited me

Gabbe Hmm… I don’t like Mac You know my take on him and the basketball team Together they do not even form a complete brain And why did you suddenly want to go out with him? Surely it does not bring anything good

Macie I know, I could tell by looking at his expression He wants something and I don’t think it’s about spending the afternoon with ‘’Jack Skellington’s wife’’

Gabbe Then move on from him You don’t like those things Why now? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I bite the inside of my cheek, uncomfortable. I'm afraid to tell him that it's because of everything that's going on around me, he's my only friend and everything I've hidden from the rest of the school. Lucky for me, I've known Gabbe since I was a little girl, our moms are friends. He was the only one I could trust and we were like siblings. He knew me better than anyone and he knew what I really liked. And that was not what he wanted. Not at least with a secret. But I have to know what Adler wanted. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Macie I don’t know I guess I see him cute

Gabbe Cute? That guy? I’ve seen better 🙄

Macie Anyone interested in me?

Gabbe Uh… Well, it’s…

Macie Yes?

Gabbe I don’t know! I don’t go around asking guys if they like you or not! Do you think I’m your messenger?

Macie Hmm... It wouldn't be a bad idea

Gabbe Ha… ha… ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Macie! Adler is here!” I hear my mother call me. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Macie Well I have to leave you Adler is here

Gabbe OH! Prince Charming is home!

Macie Don't mock!

Gabbe I have to do it because you deserve it Dating that guy is the dumbest idea you’ve ever had

Macie Thanks for your support

Gabbe You just call me if you get bored of the date and I'll be there in a second!

Macie Ha ha! Okay! See you later, Gabbe

Gabbe See you later Mac

-----Gabbe has disconnected---- ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I grab my bag and put my phone away. My mother enters my room, looking for me. "You look beautiful" she tells me taking out her phone “. Let me take a photo.” “Mom!” murmur, lowering her hand, embarrassed “It's just a date.” “First date and…” she looks at my clothes excitedly “You don't dress like a vampire anymore.” "I didn't dress- forget it." I shake my head, holding in a long breath that I want to release into the stuffy air. My mother didn't like my clothes, and now I want to stand out less because of everything that has happened. It is enough that they are suspicious of me, when I have always been very careful.

I leave the room and head to the living room. Adler gets up from the sofa as soon as he sees me. He fixes his blonde hair and smiles. He is nervous, but not because of the date. <<No Macie, don't start analyzing it at home or your mother will be suspicious.>> I tell myself. I suppose not to do it. “Hi Macie” he rubs his hands feigning shyness “ shall we go now?” His words are fast, he wants to leave. "Have fun." my mother tells us, happier than me. "We will." I wave, and off we go to the door. Once outside the house, he looks at me curiously, as if something strange had happened. I look at him and let out a nervous laugh. “What’s wrong?” “She hasn’t told me what time I should bring you.” “We have a deal not to come back later than twelve if I’m not with Gabbe.” “Gabbe? Who is that?” I avoid not getting angry. He knows exactly who he is and that pisses me off. I was supposed to have accepted this "date" to be a teenager with a normal life like everyone else, but I don't feel that way. I liked it better when I was investigating things or going with Gabbe to abandoned places to learn the story behind it. I stop walking and cross my arms. Adler looks at me confused. “What's wrong?” He asks me running a hand through his hair. "Why don't you tell me the truth, Adler?" I ask in an annoyed tone "I know you would never date 'the Blair witch', 'the corpse bride' Oh! And my favorite: 'The girl from the well'.” I see him laugh and it annoys me even more. I’m ready for any joke he want to do to me, I won’t let myself be humiliated. “I knew it, I knew you'd realice” he begins to raise his voice and I look at him raising my eyebrows more confused “You're what I need!” "No, I don't think so." I shake my head, already imagining what he wants to do. I turn to walk away and he stops me. “Let me explain it to you.” he begs in a voice so plaintive the tough guy look is gone. <<I'm going to regret this.>> I raise my head and blow so much air out of my body that I think I’m going to run out of it. I nod resignedly. I can’t come home so soon and have my mom start asking me. “Okay, I hear you.” I finally answer. “I need you to use your gift.” “My gift? What gift?” “You know, that thing about knowing what others hide and that.” I massage my temple, annoyed. “First: it's not a gift, it's called observing carefully, something you could learn if you thought more about what others feel than about your image” I see that he rolls his eyes, as if he didn't care “. And second: I'm not going to help you.” "You're going to help me" he approaches me, with an almost evil smile ", because then, I'll make it public that you work with your father illegally with the police." I swallow nervously. No one except Gabbe and my mother knew. And I know Gabbe wouldn't tell that to the dumbest idiot in school. Especially since Adler didn't like him.

I try to think how he knows and I remember his last name. Schneider. I take a deep breath. This guy is the nephew of my father's boss. His father also works at the police station, I'm sure he had heard it in some conversation that I was collaborating with the police. "Mmm…I take it you're nervous" he laughs at my reaction “. Hey, well, it is easy to observe people closely.” "Please, don't say anything" I beg now ". My father could be in trouble!" It wasn't that my father's boss knew, because he did. But the senior police officer doesn’t. If he found out, then he would take my father's badge, lose his job, and all because of me! "Then a better reason for you to help me" He moves his eyebrows up and down, trying to be funny “. You help me and I don't say anything, deal?” He offers me his hand and I look at him doubtfully. But it seems that he tells the truth. "Deal." I give him my hand and it disgusts me. He’s pretty sweaty, which means he's nervous “What's up then?” "I'll start by telling you that I lost a lot of money gambling." "Minors can't bet-" I stop and slap my hand in the face imagining the situation “Illegal bets.” "Playing poker," he says casually. Incredible —. It was against a guy named James 'the Bear' Green” I open my eyes so much that I feel like they are going to pop out of their sockets. Is he betting with a criminal? My God… “. I lost everything and it was a lot and… it wasn't my money, but my father's.” "Okay, what do you want me to do?" I can't refuse, I'm against the ropes. "You're going to help me get the money back by watching their expressions." "Do you want to cheat?" I ask more and more exalted “Do you know that we could die for that?” “But it will work out. I have faith in you!” He gives me a friendly punch on the arm and I give him a dirty look. We don't have that confidence to treat me like this “We go in, I play a little, you let me know and I get out of there with the money.” It's the worst idea in the world. I wonder how he could have gotten into this all by himself. "And couldn't you just confess to your father what you've done?" I suggest to keep him out of trouble. “What are you saying? He will kill me!” He starts walking and I follow him “So, I need to get the money before the day after tomorrow, which is when the month's expenses arrive.” "Why did I agree to go out with you?" I ask myself more than him. "It's obvious, because I'm attractive." <<No, because my curiosity gets the better of me than your stupid face. You're not even my type.>>

We arrive at a bar that says that minors cannot enter. It has a fairly classic style, the wood even seems well cared for and the windows are like church windows, I read the name of the bar, 'The red river'. Curious name, I wonder why. Adler pulls out his ID and hands it to the doorman. A fake ID. Since Adler has an athletic build, he can easily pass for someone only eighteen or twenty, it is easy for him to deceive. Then he looks at me. My classmate puts his arm around my waist and smiles. "I've paid for her for today" he says proudly as I want to punch him "Does she look young? And she is very pretty.” He arches an eyebrow and I smile charmingly, placing a hand on his chest. In the end he lets us through and, once inside, I walk away from him in disgust. "After this, don't talk to me at school again." I tell him annoyed. "Don't worry, this will be the last time we'll be together." he tells me, also fixing himself, as if it bothers him. We walk towards the tables and he points at me surreptitiously. "That one over there." I look in the direction he indicates and see the men sitting “. They don't let the companions sit with us, but behind us, so I thought we can take advantage of that.” There are five men sitting at the table. It occurs to me to assign each one a number. "Who is James Green?" “The guy with the silver chain around his neck.” he whispers, and I focus on him. “Okay, this is the plan” I start to get nervous. This is not going to go well “: We are going to assign a number to each one, Jame will be number one. The guy in the red hat will be number two. The one in the plaid shirt is number three. Number four is the one with the dangling earring. Number five is the one left, the guy with that mole on his cheek” Adler nods and I continue “. I'll give you a number of touches on the back if I see one of them has a good deck to keep you from betting too much or checking, don't risk it. And at least once i won't be able to help you or they will catch us, you can't be so perfect playing, they would suspect.” "Yeah, yeah, yeah" he claps his hands together and licks his lips ", let's play." I roll my eyes as I follow him. I hope he listens to me while playing or we'll be screwed. We approach the table and Green looks at him. “Are you here to lose more money?” He asks him in a joking tone. "Yesterday I was out of training, today I'm here to get all my money back." he answers as he sits in the chair. Green looks at me and laughs. “You know the rules, no having companions at the table.” “Don't worry, this beauty has only come to give me luck.” he hits me on the rear and I control myself so as not to hit him at that moment. I will as soon as we get out of here.

They've at least let me sit behind him, watching. During the game, I do everything possible so that he does not lose the money he has left, thus gradually recovering the money he lost. Sometimes he would even yell and turn to kiss me on the cheek, excited. Unfortunately, it's not like in the movies, their joy is not contagious, quite the opposite: I'm scared to death. If they discover us, we'll be lost forever. Sometimes I don't help him like I told him so they don't suspect us, but in the next game, he recovers the lost money.

We stayed there until nightfall. Two players ended up leaving and Green got angry every time he lost to Adler, what caused my heart to beat fast for the terror of seeing that furious man. He took to hitting the table every time he lost a large amount.

The game ends and it is Adler who ends up taking all the money. Between laughs he picks it all up, even kisses him. “Come with daddy” he says cheerfully, even pretending to count the money “. I told you today I would win.” "Yeah, I see." Green replies, tapping the table. "And now I'll be able to overpay the lady" he says as he puts his arm around my shoulders. I want to get out of here “, it cost me dearly.” shut up. Adler begins to collect the money and put it in a bag that he had brought. What a shame, he was prepared. A man approaches Green and begins to speak in his ear. It is then that I tug on Adler's jacket to make him hurry up. Green gets up—now I understand the nickname 'the Bear' is huge when he's standing up—and pulls out a gun pointed at Adler, he waves his hand for the money back. Reluctantly, my partner does so and dumps the bag on the table. “Not like that, Mr. Schneider” he picks up the bag and hands it to the guy next to him “, fool me in my own bar.” I look at Adler nervously. Is this Green's bar? Were we getting in trouble with the owner? Why didn't he tell me? "Mr. Green, I-" "No, no" he shakes his finger, clicking his tongue “. I could kill both of you right here. You know?” He looks at me now and I keep completely still "It wouldn't cost me anything to get rid of you two.” "I just wanted-" “Ah, don't make excuses now.” Green looks at me and smiles “Do you know why the bar is called 'The Red River', beautiful?” I shake my head terrified “Because everyone who betrays me here ends up staining the waters with their blood.” A threat? Oh really? I'm having a hard time breathing right now.

I try to avoid falling to the ground out of fear, I've never been in trouble before. Well, yes, maybe entering abandoned places is not something that is said to be a good person because they are places that are forbidden to enter, but at least I don't mess with criminals! "You're going to give me the same money you tried to steal from me" he tells us while still pointing the gun at us "and I want it for tomorrow." "But we can't get all that money!" Adler yells at him "It's impossible!" “I want the money tomorrow” he leans on the table and smiles at us “. If you don't give me the money, then I'll keep the lady as payment” he looks at me licking his lips “, it could be of help to me during the games, there are many cheaters to teach a lesson” I look at Adler, expecting him to defend me, but he doesn't, and unfortunately I'm too scared to say no to a guy with a gun. He swings the gun as he stands up “. Go away, now” Adler turns to walk away quickly and I tell him. Incredible that he has not given me support when I have helped him.

We left the bar and I thought I could breathe a little, but all I feel is pangs every time I try to breathe. I try to walk, but my legs are shaking. "This is because of you!" Adler yells at me, furious "You should have been more careful!" “Sorry?! I didn't know it was HIS bar!” I highlight the word ‘his’ almost in a shout. “And what does that matter?! Now we owe him money!” he turns and yells in my face “And since I don't have it, you're going to get it.” “Is your problem! Not mine!” I give him a shove on the shoulder. I was walking away from him when he stops me, grabbing my arm. “Let me go!” "If you don't help me, the deal is off." I feel the pressure again. No. I can't let him say anything, but I can't give him the money he needs either. The worst thing is, then Green will want to use me for poker games. There is no good option. “Please” I beg again “, don’t say anything.” “I’m sorry Macie, but I told you” he lets go of me and starts to walk away “and we have until tomorrow! You better get the money!” That happens to me for being curious and wanting to know what was wrong with him.

I walk the streets thinking of a solution. My father would kill me if he knew what I've done today. Maybe accepting a deal and being a cheater hunter wouldn't be bad, right? But then, they would kill Adler for not paying back the money. Was that really all he wanted? Of course not, he wanted the money from him. No, because then if I tell Adler I don't have the money, he'll do whatever it takes to spill my dad's secret and goodbye to his job. “Shit!” I yelled angrily, what can I do? Then I notice that my cheeks are soaked. I'm crying. This is the second time I feel powerless like this. It's true, I can't fix anything. They were right. I'm just a fool who should have stayed home and done what every teenager does, live a normal life and not worry about adult business. I sit on a bench, unable to continue walking. One way or another, I'm doomed. "Hey gilr, is that alriiiight?" When I hear the awkward male voice, I freeze on the spot. You could tell he was drunk and not only by how he spoke, but also by the smell of alcohol that reached my nose “Come with me, I'm shure I can help you.” He grabs my wrist and I react quickly. "Let go of me!" I yell, knocking him away. “But don't shout, I'm not going to do anything to you.” I would believe it if it weren't for the fact that he tries to kiss me! I try to put a barrier between the two with my arms, scared. “What are you doing to my sister?” the voice of a young guy is present and pulls the man away from me. “Oh! I don't-“ I try to see him, but he's wearing a hood and his back is turned. "We've already called the police." A lady approaches with another man and looks at the boy “. Don't worry, take care of your sister, we'll keep an eye on him.” “I will do that.” says the guy. The man and woman move the drunk away from us and I sit back down on the bench.

The guy does the same, but stays away from me, as if he had a bodyguard. "You should call your parents to come get you.” he advises in a calm voice. "I can't, they'll be mad at me." I answer, hugging myself. "They will not, this was not your fault." "I'm not talking about this" I look at him but he still has his hood on. In the streetlight, I can't get a good look at his features “. I…” I shut up and look at the ground, not wanting to continue. It's not a good idea to talk to a stranger about my problems, especially not one who could surely do better than listen to a teenager. "Maybe you will feel better if you tell me" He sounds so nice saying it that I don't believe it. I look at him and wipe away my tears, I can see a smile behind that shadow “and maybe I can help you with something.” I take a breath and push my hair back, it's stuck to my face from crying. "My date got me involved in illegal betting, that's what happens" I see him settle down better. Maybe it's good to vent to someone “. The idiot didn't even want to go out with me, he just wanted me to help him get money that he stole from his father.” "And does his father know?" "No, but as soon as he finds out, I'm lost" I start playing with the fabric of my dress. A white dress with small pink flowers. I thought it was going to be special when I bought it, but it has only brought me misfortune “and threatened to… say something that could affect my father's work.” “Has your father done something bad or…?” "No, he hasn't done anything wrong" I shake my head, but I feel very heavy mentally. I put my hands to my head, unable to continue “. Damn Adler Schneider, owe money to a criminal.” "You should tell your parents" he advises me again “. Warn them to come get you, I will not leave here until they come.” I look at him carefully, wanting to see him better. Resigned to my curiosity, I take out my phone and send a message to my mother, asking her to come pick me up at the address I sent her. “What a first date…” I mutter under my breath. "You are still young, do not get depressed about it" he tells me with a laugh “. In my case, I still have not had mine yet.” "Then you've already beaten me by not committing the stupidest thing of dating the idiot from the institute." He laughs again. I don't know why, but I like to hear him laugh. "Well, I cannot say anything against that because I was not what was called good in high school" I blink when I hear him, 'was'? So it means that he is older than me. What a disappointment I just got. "Were you a bully or what?" I ask, frowning. "No, I…" I hear him make an uncomfortable sound "Let us just say that I earned money thanks to my classmates." “In short: you steal their money.” “No, I used my skills to change their grades, but do not tell anyone that I have an image to maintain.” I laugh for the first time all night “Are you better? When he asks me that question, he pulls his hood down and I stare at him. His green eyes look at me very calmly and his short black hair makes me think about what it would be like to caress him. He's got a little messy from wearing the hood, which makes him look attractive. <<I know it would be wrong, but I'd love to do illegal things with him if he wanted to.>> I blush at that thought. I don't think I had ever thought about those things.

I look away in embarrassment, afraid that if I look at him again, he might know what I'm thinking. A chill runs through my body and I see him hand me his sweatshirt. "Here, you need this more than me." The kind smile doesn't leave his face. “Thank you…” I accept the sweatshirt and put it on. It's hot and… I can smell his cologne. This makes me blush even more. He does it without any bad intentions, I can tell, but it doesn't mean that I don't feel overwhelmed by the situation. It's like the situation every girl wants after seeing that favorite romantic scene. “Do you want some advice?” I nod and arches an eyebrow with an air of superiority “Do not go out with someone who could get you into trouble.” "Wow, I hadn't realized, thanks for the advice, I'll keep it in mind." I say with a tone of irony. We both laughed. I know he try to keep my mood calm and not so nervous.

I watch him carefully. He hasn’t tried to take advantage of me yet. He really is a good guy, why does the universe hurt me like this? I still have two years to be eighteen! What kind of punishment is this? But hey, at least I'm calmer talking to him. His tone is so calm, that I would be able to listen to him always. He has made it better. “Hey, and what is the name of the guy you two were betting with on your date?” I stare at him curiously. Is he really that interested in the subject? Are he that worried? I inhale calmly, though remembering him pointing the gun at me and Adler makes me terrify again. “James Green or better known by the nickname of 'The Bear'” I answer afraid to say his name “, runs a bar called 'The River of Blood'.” "It does not ring a bell" I see him rest his hand on his chin, thinking ", he must be quite discreet or I would have recognized him by now." "I guess so" I see him still thinking. He seems genuinely interested “. Hey, no… I shouldn't have told you this, maybe you're getting in trouble because of me.” "Not at all" he leans in a little, placing his arms in his lap ", it is important that you tell me all this.” “Are you going to help me?” “And why not?” “Well, because you would end up dead!” "Do not worry, I have some very reliable methods so that doesn't happen." He winks at me in confidence, but it only makes me blush more and more. God, I must look like a tomato because his fault. I can tell that this is not a flirtation, but someone genuinely caring about me. Although I don't think I'm actually going to do anything, I mean, take a risk for a stranger? There is no one like that. The pain in my chest goes away and I feel better after talking to him. When I want to ask his name, I hear the horn. I turn and see my mother's car. I sigh and get up from the bench, looking at him now. "Thanks for cheering me up." I'm going to take off my sweatshirt, but he stops me. "No, keep it" I look at him surprise “. I have the closet full with that type of clothes.” I laugh and nod. I fix my gaze on him. Damn, I wish I wasn't younger than him. "Thank you then and... Bye." I wave, and he does the same. “Good luck with your parents.” I nod and walk away until I reach the car. I get on and my mother looks in the guy’s direction. “Who is he?” She asks me worried. "He's the one who saved me from a drunk" I answer as I put on my seatbelt ". Don't worry, we've kept our distance " I try to reassure her, because it's true. He hasn't even come close to give me the sweatshirt, he just stretched out his arm. A true gentleman. “Wow” she makes a throaty noise, still not taking her eyes off him “, maybe I should go over and thank him.” “No!” my mother laughs and I get serious “I have to tell you something...” “Something has happened? Is it about Adler?” “When we’re home.” “I’ll just tell you that if he’s touched you or hurt you, I’m in favor for guns.” I don't know if that encourages me that she's worried or terrifies me that I could possibly lose my parents to murdering a high school boy.

I spend the whole night telling my father and mother what has happened, well, not about the illegal gambling —I think I should tell the police about that— , It's just that Adler knows our secret and that we were arguing that he was going to tell everyone. Clearly my father was concerned about our situation and tomorrow he would talk to his father to avoid it.

When I go to bed to sleep, I don't take my sweatshirt off. It makes me feel protected and envelops me in a deep sleep in which I see him again and that I have already grown up. I ask him out and he accepts without thinking twice, with that charming smile and green eyes that shine with excitement, How do I dream these things now? Most of my dreams I don't even remember, but this one makes me feel butterflies in my stomach, something I've never felt before. I guess this is what is called the first love.

The phone wakes me up from my wonderful dream that I was just going to kiss the mystery boy. I curse under my breath in great annoyance. I doubt very much that this dream will be repeated. When I picked it up, I saw a bunch of messages from Gabbe asking if I'd seen the social media. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Gabbe Something messed up with Adler! Apparently, he made bets with a criminal And now that criminal is arrested thanks to him! ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I read the message still asleep, confused by what I was reading. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Macie What? How arrested?

Gabbe It happened between night and this morning The whole school is talking about it

Macie OMG It was him!!

Gabbe Him? 🤨 Who?

Macie The love of my life ❤️

Gabbe 😑 Mac…

Macie A guy kept me company when Adler dumped me after an argument And well, I told him what happened last night

Gabbe You didn't tell me that...

Macie Cause I didn’t think it was important Did you really want me to tell you that I have met the most handsome guy in the world and that unfortunately for me, he is unattainable?

Gabbe No, I don’t like love theme, really And I thought that you were not interested in those things

Macie Maybe now I'll change my mind with Mister Mysterious

Gabbe 🙄 Let’s get back on topic… So he has helped you?

Macie Maybe? It’s the only thing I can think of that could have been Because my father has spent the whole night here

Gabbe Wow, incredible that someone wanted to get involved in that matter

Macie I plan to date him when I grow up 🤭❤️

Gabbe If you find him again 🙄 How do you think he will have done it? I mean, to prove it you need proof

Macie He looked quite young, about twenty years old Do you think he is from the secret police? 🤔

Gabbe You are the expert at finding things out, not me Hey, what if we tell this in the forum? In the criminal section? Maybe someone knows something about your savior ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I’m going to answer him until I get a message from Adler. Great… ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Adler Thank you so much for ruining my life Who did you tell about yesterday? I had conversations about illegal gambling on my mobile which has now been made public! Even Green’s! My dad is going to put me in boarding school after this and it’s all because of you. But you know? Since you've helped me get rid of Green in part, I'll do you a favor and not tell the names of the cops who worked with you But they did work with a teenager at our parents' police station That way at least everyone will be marked and I can teach my father a lesson for putting me in boarding school But the police will know who to point out for having told this news Find yourself a good place to hide from the press, get out of town if you want to have a normal life, because you are going to be surrounded by so many journalists thanks to your father ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I bite the inside of my cheek annoyed with Adler. He hadn't given up on continuing to ruin my life. And I don't blame the guy, he did what he could. My father walks into the room and looks at me concerned. He has his phone in hand. Adler had surely notified the press after his betting was made public. Wait, the guy from yesterday… When he said that his methods are reliable… Did he mean to hack his phone and get that information? That really is taking a risk for someone. "Macie" my father wakes me from my thoughts and I look at him concerned ", we're going to have to talk seriously about this." I nod knowing what he means. This is going to cause us a lot of trouble. <<Thanks for trying Mister Mysterious, I know you did what you could.>>

*Jake POV*

As soon as the girl leaves, I get up and head home so I can help her. Normally I would not get involved, but maybe if I do it anonymously and report it, maybe I can do something.

I make coffee and sit at my desk, searching the social networks of this Adler Schneider guy. If I can get to his cell through the information, I might as well get information on this Jame Green. I do not remember seeing his name on the criminal list, which means he should stay in the shadows if he is gambling illegally. My cell phone rings while I am working and I see Albert's name on the screen. I answer before he worry more. “Hi Al.” I reply as I'm typing fast with one hand. "Where were you, Jake? I was very worried” his voice sounds very theatrical “, you can't give your poor mother this upset.” I laugh at his ''nickname''. He awarded it to himself as soon as he stopped parkouring with me, because he discovered that he preferred to keep his feet on the ground with the skateboard and not go jumping between buildings or climbing high places at full speed. Also because he is the person I know best since high school. We have not parted since then. "Sorry, I was busy with something." I reply, leaving the phone on my shoulder. “Anything about your new job?” he answers with some misgivings. “Something like that.” “Seriously, you're the youngest ever to get that job.” “You know what I can do.'' “Yes, and your ego knows it too.” I cannot help it, I like to show off my skills. I never thought that I would attract the attention of a great team and that it would serve to help others in a job that served me to do something good with my skills. "And why were you calling?" I ask curiously. “Guess who’s been to the bar?” “No…” “Yes.” “Katherine.” “Katherine!” I hit myself on the forehead. Great. Just when I'm busy, she shows up. "I'm entertaining her and her friends, so if you don't hurry, she'll leave" he says quickly ", so come here!" I look at the work I am doing and then at my cell phone. I had liked that girl for a long time, but I did not dare ask her a date and I had promised myself that the next time I saw her, I would. But here I am working. I start to doubt whether to leave it because it is not my problem and go see Katherine or…

I remember then how the girl cried and it makes me feel bad. I do not want to leave it, she urgently needed help. “You know? I think I am going to stay and finish the job.” I finally say. "Jake, it's Katherine" he reminds me and I can imagine him rolling his eyes ", the girl you talk to me about every day." “I don't talk about her every day.” "Well, almost" I blush a little, do I really? "If I've warned you, it's because I care about you and your love life.” "There will be another chance." I answer without giving it much importance now. “She asked about you.” <<;Damn it…>> I shake my head. Katherine could wait, right now there was a girl in big trouble and if I wanted this Green guy to stop threatening people, I should stop him. But Katherine had finally taken an interest in me, why did it have to happen now? “I finish quickly and-“ I get a notification sound and see the message. It was Katherine. “Man…” I say to Al. I do not know whether to say upset or excited. “You will thank me when you get married.” “Do not get excited either, I like Katherine, I still cannot imagine marrying her.” “And that change?” I start to think about why the change. Who would have thought that a conversation with a teenager would open my eyes about the future? I like Katherine, but not to the point that I already envisioned a married life with her. Things could change, but for now, I will stay in the present because of what I feel with her. "I just want to go easy, you know I like her and I do not want to pressure her." "You are so mature, my little son" how he loves to keep exaggerating things", but is that job so important?" “I am helping a girl, she is had a problem with the guy she is dating, some idiot into illegal gambling.” “And was she pretty? Is that why you are like this?” “Al, she was a teenager…” I reply with annoyance. The mere thought turns my stomach. I estimate that she must have been about the age of my sister Hannah. "Oh! So today you are Super Jake Defender of the weak!” "You know how I am, I always see myself reflected in them when I was their age" I continue writing on the computer “. It is not easy having to live with problems at that age.” “Do you want me to tell Katherine? Maybe that will score you more points with her.” "No, I will do it.” “Go for her!” he exclaims on the other end of the line almost screaming “Good luck Jake, I know you'll get it.” He hangs up and I sigh. I do not know what I would do without him. I replied to Katherine, apologizing that I will not be able to go because of work that I have. I told her about it and her message makes me excited to read it. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Katherine Wow, I didn’t know that side of you You are really very good with children I quite like that about you, Jake 🤭 ❤️ ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I contain a cry of happiness. Not only do I help someone in need, I put a criminal in jail, but also the girl I like has told me that she likes me. Ah, but I have to be careful, what I am doing is outside of working hours, so I had better cover my tracks after this or I will be in trouble. We do not want them to want to arrest me for this. “I hope it goes well for both of us from now on, unknown girl.” I pronounce with a smile, happy with the situation. I feel so much better after doing something nice for someone.

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