#this is why I write

[four2andnew]

Me - a clearly burnt out, overwhelmed mother who just finished crying about how much time, money, & food we waste cause these kids are picky as hell and even though I know they're not starving I lay awake at night terrified their growth is stunted and they're telling all their teacher how I "refuse to cook for them" even though I do cook I just refuse to be a short order cook making 5 different meals every night: I kinda wish we'd had a fourth kid cause the ticket deals for stuff always come in packs of 2. Like if we're gonna be buying 6 tickets anyway, at least [6yo] wouldn't be odd man out while the kids are playing

My husband - living his best life now that the kids are old enough to dress and potty themselves: 🧐🧐🧐

[zepskies]

Hiiii! I've read some of your fics in the past and first I've gotta compliment your writing style and your incredible use of vocabulary.

Lately it's been rough and I've been struggling with the mental side effects of that, but your fics (especially Soldier Boy) have been such a huge comfort and I just felt that you deserve to know that. ❤️

hey there, lovely!

Wow, thank you so much for that amazing compliment! 😍💗 All I can say is I've studied literature and the writing craft for a while now, so I'm happy to hear that it comes out in my writing. 😊

Though I'm sorry you've been going through a hard time. Trust me, I've been right there with you this week. But, I'm so glad that my stories have helped you in any way (especially my Soldier Boy fics; we all know he can be a lot lol).

While I hope and pray things get better for us, thank you again for letting me know how much my stuff has helped you. It's made my day! 😘

[isacksteban]

if i could draw i'd spend my life drawing marcmarc fanart.

[sillyguysss]

Brb. Just gotta write the character I project on getting comforted by my favourite character to stave of my inevitable breakdown.

[seokminfilm]

Tumblr said new post from seokminfilm,we know you'll love this 😭and i didddddddd

Your fics are literally the cutest thing everrr got me giggling and kicking my feet😭😭

AWWWWWW THANK YOU 😭 these words really made my night!

[lividstar]

Hello! I just found your Yunho knightxprincess fic and I love it!!!

I was scrolling on your blog to see if you had anything else and had to stop when I saw the post about dying atinyblr. I hope to offer some words of encouragement or comfort if I can. As a sfw writer and reader, it’s like a jungle on here searching for fics. I often come across ones that aren’t properly marked, or the content isn’t even hidden under the keep reading, and so I’m suddenly reading words and imagining things that I’d rather not (just personal preference). It gets exhausting, so I’ll often stop trying for a few months before coming back to try again. When I come across fics like yours, it’s a breath of fresh air. Or a warm hug.

This is the second time I’ve seen that post in the past couple of days and it got me thinking about my own experience. Perhaps it’s not that there aren’t readers interested in sfw work, but more that they’re just struggling to find it and giving up, like I have done myself over and over. And, unfortunately it’s across fandoms. I’m a multi and it’s not any easier to find fics for other groups.

In my personal writing, what I have put on here has gotten little traction. So in the end, I write for myself and my friends. That only makes the lack of interaction marginally easier. I often lack the inspiration to try and publish. But I know if I try to write something that I don’t care for, or doesn’t inspire me, I will eventually lose interest and stop all together. Because I will no longer be creating for the sake of creating.

All that to say. I hope you continue to do what you love and create these stories. There are readers like me who enjoy them, and I’ll pass them on to my friends. And if you do ever decide to branch into nsfw, let it be because that’s what you actually want to write, and not because you feel forced to. Creatives that are pushed into creating for others and not themselves, often lose their inspiration, and the creating becomes a burden and a dread.

This became long and winded, but I hope it was an encouragement in some way. Sending virtual hugs and hot coco. I’ll be combing your blog for more fics! Can’t wait to see what else you have! 💕

- 🦉

oh, 🦉 anon. you don’t even know what you’ve just done to my heart. i read this once, then again, then a third time just to really soak in every word. i don’t think i’ve ever wanted to physically hold onto a message so badly before, to tuck it into my pocket and keep it with me for when the self-doubt creeps in. because, god, did this reach me at the perfect time.

it’s strange, isn’t it? how sometimes creating feels like shouting into the void, pouring your heart into something only for it to slip through the cracks of an oversaturated space. i think every writer, every artist, has had that moment of wondering—is anyone even out there? does this matter? does anyone care? and it’s hard, so hard, not to let that doubt take root. but then a message like this appears, unprompted, unexpected, like a candle flickering to life in the dark. and suddenly, just for a moment, you know—yes. it matters. you’re not shouting into nothingness. there are people listening.

i know exactly what you mean about searching for fics that align with what you’re looking for. it’s exhausting sometimes, combing through content, hoping you’ll stumble across something that feels like home. and i think, in a way, that’s why i write the way i do. because i want to create the stories i long to find. i want to carve out a space where softness, romance, depth, and warmth exist without compromise. so to hear that my writing felt like a breath of fresh air to you? like a warm hug? i don’t think you understand how deeply that touches me. because more than anything, that’s what i want my words to be. not just stories, but something that lingers, something that wraps around you gently and makes you feel seen.

and god, i feel you so much on the struggle of sharing your own work. the silence after posting, the feeling of your words drifting into an abyss with no echo back. the way it can chip away at your confidence, make you wonder if it’s worth it. but if there’s one thing i’ve learned, it’s that creating has to come from the heart first. if you write only for validation, only to be seen, it will eat away at you. because writing, art, creation—it’s meant to be something alive, something that breathes with you, that grows with you, that exists because it has to. and the second you force yourself into something that doesn’t set your soul on fire? that’s when you start to lose the magic. so please, please, keep writing for you. for the joy of it, for the love of it. for the quiet, unshakable feeling of putting something into the world that only you could have created. because i promise you, there are people out there who need your words just as much as you need to write them.

and the fact that you’ll be sharing my fics with your friends? anon, that means everything. that’s the kind of love and support i don’t take lightly. because you didn’t have to do that. you didn’t have to send this message at all. but you did. and that tells me that kindness and warmth still exist, that people still believe in lifting each other up instead of tearing each other down. and i think that’s really, really beautiful.

so thank you. for your words. for your heart. for reminding me why i love what i do. i’m sending you all the softness in the world—the weight of a warm blanket on tired shoulders, the golden glow of candlelight on a rainy night, the feeling of being understood without having to say a word. you are so appreciated, and i hope you know that. ♡

[jasadhyana]

We were robbed!

[xxcallmemaryxx]

I love your writing so much, it feels more than just reading words on a screen ❤️

Can we get something for IV? Anything you'd like! I just need more content of him

THIS. MADE. ME. SMILE. LIKE. A. FOOL.

THANK YOU!!!!! ❤️

Also yes of course, next up is definitely iv. Anyone up for wearing his jacket? It’s warm. And it’s big. And it smells like him.

If your answer to that question was yes then you’ll enjoy what’s up next.

[j0kers-light]

I can’t allowed tumblr to eat this ask. Yall gone see it! So here we go @spectralechoes 🖤✨

I cannot thank you enough for leaving your thoughts and words of encouragement. I began this blog to share my work that represents others. I am so happy to know you have bonded with my silly little stories and that it helped you during stressful times (mad respect for surviving through exams!)

Writing for others, sharing my experiences, spreading love and getting so much love back in return, is my mission. I always wanted to be someone's escape.

I am near tears @spectralechoes your message sucker punched me in the best way. I adore you. 🖤✨

[httpsserene]

I just wanted to take a moment to thank for feeding the black f1 girlies 🩵🩵🩵

oh, don’t worry it’s literally my pleasure LOL

no srs, thank you for showing love, i really needed this motivation < 3333

[okamirayne]

hello rayne!!! i was so glad to see a new chapter of HHU, you truly are a gift!

as a reader and a writer, the way you build your scenes always amazes me. you have all these characters, all of them with their own past and their own motives, interacting with each other in these intricate political and emotional dances, and you manage to show us through dialogue and gestures the layered complexity of their inner and outer reality. hibiki and genma's conversation in particular was so good!!!

thank you so much, sending you love and a giant hug ♥

Hello, my dear @god-of-dust 💜!

How beautiful to hear from you, luv! Such a joy to get your message. Thank you for the immense support of taking out that time to write to me. My appreciation is all up in your energy right now. 💜💜!

I'm not only touched by your feedback, but both spurred and reassured. But more than anything, I'm just so damn happy you enjoy the scenes...you hit the emotional nail right on the head for me when you mentioned the characters...oh gods, the characters are EVERYTHING. Their layers are everything. And I am a fuzzy fizzy fluffy fangirling mess myself over my readers (seriously, the appreciation runneth over so hard) when they enjoy the character interaction and dynamics, which are undoubtedly my most favourite part to write (or witness, as I watch them go about their crazy business and run around after them like some medieval bard or scribe, writing down the madness as it unfolds). You guys let me know I've captured something that matters to you and when you let me know what that is, I feel the joy of being a reader myself, as well as a writer, and also, a fan of the characters. It's this awesome, indescribable cycle of beautiful energy and that connection lives on the kindness of the readers giving their feedback - so THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU. 💜💜💜

Or rather, I hope I give you entertainment and you give me the energy back like a nuclear power plant imbuing me with some of the big radioactive stuff (not the legit crap that kills you - oh dear, Rayne), but the metaphorical stuff that turns you into some kind of MARVEL/DC individual whose superpower is to be able to see and hear people talking and walking about the screen in their head (psychiatrist would have a field day with this) and then be able to conceptualise wtf is going on by putting that into words.

Is that a superpower or schizophrenia? 😅😅 As a fellow writer, would you agree that's between us and our maker, right? 😉 Right'O.

Thank you again, my lovely, for being so bloody awesome to reach out with this message. 🫶🏼

I'm sending you a giant hug right back and big love and appreciation right on its heels. 🥰 Xx

[blackwomanwriter]

I know I don’t be on here like that, but I see y’all liking and reblogging. And, I love y’all for that. I see you.

[rylredrants]

Thank you for Judging Me

My estrangement from my mother was never meant to be a war.

I didn’t cut her out of my life because I wanted her to suffer or because I wanted people to pick a side. All I wanted was peace.

I wanted… no, needed to put myself in a place where I could more easily give up on ever getting the things I needed from her: an acknowledgment that her choices and actions hurt me profoundly and maybe some kind of apology for all the times she failed to protect me. Instead, she fed me to the wolves that lived under her roof and made me feel responsible for the claw marks left on my body and soul.

I needed to give up on the idea of ever feeling mothered so that I could work towards more acceptance and find a way to heal myself. Nothing I say or do can fix what was broken between us because she is simply incapable of seeing past her own pain, and that's sad.

She can't step out of the victim role long enough to consider that while I’m a survivor today, I was a child then. I was a child who needed a mother; I was not and am not just another old soul put in her life to guide and teach her.

That’s a hard truth I’ve wrestled with for decades.

Keeping her in my life meant holding on to a glimmer of hope; I can’t and won’t hold onto that anymore. Seeing how she reacted to my telling the truth so openly only reinforces what I know to be true.

The newly added layer to all of this was learning that a relative called her about my social media and said that I should seek therapy.

Well, dear relative, don a robe and take up a gavel if you're here to judge me. Seat yourself front and center where I can address you directly.

I submit to the court that you haven’t acknowledged me in decades.

My fragmented memories include being yelled at until I cried, being looked down on, and feeling small around you. Even as a small child, I inherently knew that you viewed us as poor, white trash relatives who deserved pity and contempt but never empathy.

Each Christmas, a gift from you sat under the tree. I knew it was from you because of the wrapping paper covered in the toy company logo you worked for. I knew it was mine because there were two and the other one had my brother's name. Mine, however, was labeled with some variations of a boy's name with the same first and last letter as my own.

You couldn't be bothered to relay the correct 4 letters to the assistant who handled the task. I wasn't even the correct name on your list of family obligations.

You sit and judge me without having the courage or decency to speak up and tell me what you really think of me. You call others for answers to questions I would have given without guilt, blame or shame.

None of this is my fault. I didn’t choose to be a family scandal but I am choosing to share my story in my way.

I refuse to stay hidden like your own eldest child who, no matter how much I dig, I’m unable to find a trace of anywhere on your social media.

Keeping secrets only fosters shame.

And if YOU had ever done any meaningful therapy you might realize just how important and cathartic it is to speak up and to help others.

I didn’t decide I was special and needed to be heard. I was told time and time again how wise I was and how I was able to help someone else feel what I always needed… to feel safe, seen, valued and loved.

I wouldn’t keep writing, sharing, and shrieking into this digital void if I hadn’t heard the echo returning… Thank you! Hearing your story has helped me heal, too, more than once.

Thank you, judgmental relative, for validating what I remembered about your character.

[rexxdjarin]

going out is getting harder and harder for me :(

all I’ve ever wanted is to be the girl guys want to come up and talk to. I want to be wanted. Everything I’ve done my whole life, all the growing up and changing and even feeling better about myself…it’s still the same result. I stand around and I feel ignored, isolated and unseen even while I’m surrounded by hundreds of people.

It makes me feel like no matter what I will always be invisible. And that’s why I never want to leave my house any more.

[khaoticcottagecore]

Sometimes I just be sitting with my thoughts and I start constructing the most seductive animatic between me and my favorite character.

Then I remember that I'm also the kind of person who gets all warm in the cheeks if someone gives me a random trinket they found on the ground.

[deceptive-daydreams]

i just had the most genius moment, y'all arent ready for this and ill probably be posting it tonight