#i drive home i think about bg3

[aur-eliaa]

I will say the one downside to being so obsessed with Baldur's Gate is that whenever I swap over to FFXIV for raid night or weeklies I keep trying to move by clicking on the ground and it takes me a second to realize oh wait that's not how it works here.

[gale-force-storm]

I'm really just Feeling Things tonight about the conversation with Gale after Elminster's visit and like. Gale is So Insistent that if Mystra says he needs to blow himself up, then it must be the best option. The only option. And of course he is! Because what's the alternative? If there's another way, any other way, that means either

1. Mystra doesn't care enough to consider whether there might be another option. Gale blowing himself up is the easiest solution, so that's what she goes with. Or, even worse,

2. She does know there's other options, but tells him to sacrifice himself anyways, because it gets rid of two of her problems at once.

Gale doesn't just assume she's right because she's a goddess. He goes along with it because of what it implies about him, and her, and how she sees him if there is another way. He has to believe that this is the only option. Because the alternative? That he's disposable at best and actively unwanted at worst? That's just too much to bear.

[mercymaker]

also, had an idea for a one-shot that would immediately get me called out canceled and excommunicated from the fandom but at the same time i have such a shitty relationship with writing that it's likely to stay in my noggin until it wears down the walls of my skull

[knightcallie]

Baldur's Bounties: Star Cheeks

Oh Weichei's freckles... Always a hot topic huh. I give him a kiss on da cheeks, mwah❣️

Bioluminescence was common down in the Underdark, be it in the fauna or the people. Weichei supposed it wasn’t common around Faerûn, or it was, but they didn’t look in the right places. His bioluminescence was shown through his freckles, but it was hardly noticeable in the day and even in the night. At least, until he starts to laugh or was experiencing an emotion that gets his cheeks hot. They seemed to glow brighter when it happens, and Temerity had loved to pepper them in kisses, because “gods you’re too fucking cute,” he’d say between kisses.

He’s not sure what had him laughing so hard, but his cheeks hurt and he’s heavily leaning against the log. His freckles were bright, apparent as the stars against the night sky. There was a sound of awe as his laughter died down. Karlach was close now, eyes sparkling as she carefully ran a finger across his cheek.

��Woah… So that’s why that bloke calls ya starcheeks!” she exclaimed.

Huffing the last of his laugh, he said, “Einar never lies. Should hear what he called the others.”

“I’d say though,” Dame Aylin piped, “Has the Moon Mother blessed you? Has she cried tears of joy upon your face when you were born?”

If he had a nickel for every time someone asked if he was star-blessed in a way, he’d have two nickels. 

Syretia Davina, a star elf-genasi, had queried if he was a child of Helian and Cereus at some point. She had caressed his cheek after having a glass of wine (they were having an intellectual discussion of sorts that he couldn’t recall), their cheeks flushed and warm. It was a tentative romance his husbands had encouraged, but it ended in a mutual break.

“I would dare not make you wait for me, for the time in the stars is different from the time down here. I have cherished my time with you starlight, more than you know. I will still continue to love you, but alas, we cannot be.” 

He remembered how he still cried despite it all, understanding and grieving. His freckles had dulled during those weeks, months? He had unexpectedly fallen hard for the star elf-genasi over the years. Her brilliant mind was what drew him in, having someone who can match his was absolutely exhilarating. Beau would easily point out how excitedly happy he was when he came home, Temerity sliding in to tease if he met someone special. 

He and Syretia still talk from time to time, sometimes the latter visited. He has once been in space for the spelljamming academy, but ultimately decided it wasn’t for him. After dying frozen in a simulation and saving the school from an incoming flaming rochetto and getting somehow charmed by a mindflayer, he decided to call the end of that journey. Syretia had recommended him, but didn’t see her within those months. So, mirror talks and visitations from Syretia from time to time only.

Now, he does flush at the idea of a god tearing up in joy when he was born. He never really thought of himself as something special, just a little drow making cannons. His partners and friends had assured him he was, but he just didn’t want to get too big of an ego about it. Stay humbled, because he’s so sure he’d get bit in the ass for it. He just doesn’t think he was a big deal, that’s all. He pressed a palm against a cheek, trying to hide a bit.

“Nie, nothing like that,” he replied, typically dark purple skin brightening to some dark magenta. His freckles twinkled at such an implication. “Bioluminescence is common down in the Underdark, and from time to time, the races down there get it.” He’s seen partial star maps on some. “Be it like this in some form.” He held up his free hand, the back of it dotted with stars. “Or tattoos.” He’s seen beautiful pieces, he’s contemplating on getting one done.

Maybe this was why some of the companions started trying to get him to laugh, giggle. Astarion was getting a bit more silly and over the top, and it all was just so funny to him. His lips always broke into a smile, freckles glowing.

Maybe this was why Wyll started to wax poetry about being the night sky personified. His cheeks burned and his freckles did so brightly, already shyly hiding one way or another. Wyll was tickled with his squeaking, trying to coax him from hiding so he could pepper those cheeks in kisses.

Maybe this was why Gale had temporarily weaved a crown of stars to set upon his head. A declaration of adoration as the wizard kissed his knuckles, willing to serve under the prince of stars.

[avocado-writing]

BG3 companions reacting to Tav calling them mommy/daddy?

huehehehehe >:) writing as if you shout it out in the middle of sex without meaning to - minors DNI.

Astarion

Surprised but super into it? Not necessarily because he likes being called daddy but because he can see how much it turns you on.

“Oh? Do you like it when daddy slides his cock into you, darling?”

You go glassy-eyed immediately and he continues to murmur against your skin as he fucks you, aren’t you doing well for daddy? you want to cum around daddy’s cock, hmm?

You do. Harder than you have in weeks.

Afterwards you apologise that you sort of sprung that on him out of nowhere. He smiles and says it was a wonderful little secret for you to share with him.

“You’re never going to let me live this down, are you?” “Absolutely not, darling. Now let daddy give you a kiss. 😌”

Gale

Fucking flabbergasted lmao. Stops mid-thrust

He has never considered himself a “daddy”…

When you see how baffled he is, you clamp your hands over your mouth. You are mortified.

“I am so, so sorry, Gale…” “No, no, love, it’s fine… but maybe… maybe ‘sir’? Not ‘daddy’?”

Your face splits into a devilish smile. “Oh, I can do that… sir.”

His cock hardens even further and he gets to work fucking you again, with gusto…

Karlach

Grins so so so wide

If you try to cover your face in embarrassment, she pulls your hands away so she can make eye contact.

“Aww, you want mummy to take care of you, darling? Make sure you cum?”

All you can do is nod. She fucks you with such vigour that you think you might be about to pass out.

Afterwards she gives you lots of cuddles and checks that you’re okay with how rough she was (you are. A lot.)

Is definitely happy for you to call her that in bed again…

Shadowheart

Is surprised… but interested.

Gives another thrust of her hips, encouraging you to repeat it, letting you be a little writing mess beneath her.

Will keep prompting you. “Call me that again.” “Mummy…” “Again.” “Mummy…!”

Is a bit smug afterwards, when you’re lying there blissed out of your mind from having cum a lot.

“You know, you could have just told me you wanted to use some pet names, rather than letting it slip out in flagrante delicto…”

Laughs when you’re all flustered, using healing magic to soothe any bruises she’s given you. ❤️

Wyll

Another one not super keen on it, and will tell you so.

He just doesn’t find it particularly sexy? He wants sex to be a sweet and intimate thing and well… if you’re going to use names then…

”can you call me your blade? or the blade of frontiers?”

You apologise for springing the ‘daddy’ on him out of nowhere, but when you begin to whisper about him being your 'brave blade' he gets back into it quickly.

Grab onto his horns while telling him to drive his sword home… he’s putty in your hands.

Both have a healthy discussion about what kinks you are and aren’t into the next day. We LOVE a respectful king 👑

Lae’zel

”What? I am not your mother.” “I know Lae’zel, it’s uhh, a sex thing.” “Oh. Why?”

You then have to explain that it’s sort of about respect and domination. A compliment to someone who’s rocked your world.

She smiles enthusiastically and begins to fuck you again properly. Fucks you so hard that your body aches afterwards.

Pillow talk after: “you may call me that again. I enjoy hearing that you know how well I pleasure you.” “Mmm, thank you for that, Lae’zel.” “You are welcome.”

I think it gets brought up in camp because you didn’t realise how loud you shouted it. Your face is on fire for the whole day. Lae’zel just looks pleased with herself.

Halsin

All the blood goes straight to his cock, if that’s even possible when he’s already inside you. He’s harder than he’s ever been in his life before.

He’s been called many things in bed before, but hearing that? From you?

Fucks you with an enthusiasm he didn’t realise he was capable of. You moan and cry out and keep chanting “daddy, daddy, daddy” and he cums so much that it drips out your used little hole all down your legs.

He apologises for his over enthusiasm and checks that you’re alright. You grin and kiss him, and promise to start using that word more…

Minthara

She just smiles, I think, and you know she has you wrapped around her little finger.

She fucks you with what borders on violence, so much force that you actually pass out because you came so hard.

So worth it though.

You wake up in her arms and she’s still grinning, stroking your hair.

”Mummy’s very pleased with you.” This is the only acknowledgment she ever gives of it, but if you bring up the name again in bed, she gives a repeat performance 😌

[kingthunder]

I saw a few of those "bg3 characters driving a car" headcanons and decided to do one myself for fun.

Lae'zel: She learned how to drive on the opposite side of the road from everyone else and her instincts are all wrong for her current location, but back home she's an excellent driver with a spotless driving record. She actually follows the service schedule in the car manual. She gets incensed at people who don't maintain their vehicle properly or who disobey road rules. Her car is immaculately clean. She would love to speed a motorcycle down one of those desert highways with no speed limit, but she's never gotten the opportunity and knows it's too reckless besides. But she wants to.

Karlach: She's had a motorcycle for ages and is a skilled if aggressive driver. However, she only recently learned how to drive a car. She is very enthusiastic about it and always volunteers to drive even though she's not very good yet. She's one of those people that do driving "pranks" like swerving back and forth to make people shriek/laugh, or doing "3, 2, 1 BLASTOFF" and gunning it. Could easily be provoked into an impromptu street race. Drives way too far on empty or with the check engine light on.

Shadowheart: Drives stick so that no one else can drive her car. It's a beat up old station wagon with a busted tail light and looks like shit on the outside, but inside she turned it into a goth mobile with like black velvet seat covers and stuff. She named the car but she won't tell you what. She has an air freshener hanging from the rear view mirror that smells like night orchids. She's a perfectly good boring driver with nothing to note about it UNTIL one day a cop tries to pull her over for her busted tail light and she hits the gas and pulls out all these street racing moves that you had no idea she was capable of and shakes the cop. She'll let you pick the music but if she doesn't like it her silent disapproval is so withering that you voluntarily change it to something she does like.

Astarion: Never got a driver's license and isn't about to get one now. Passenger princess who likes to control the radio but his taste in music sucks. He makes funny mean comments about other drivers and pedestrians. He'll complain if you ask him to fill the gas tank but he'll do it; you're paying for it, though. Actually pretty fun to go on a road trip with because he doesn't care about stuff like "making good time" and he's up for stopping anywhere that looks like it might be entertaining.

Gale: Never got a driver's license because he was always too busy with his studies to care and his mom drove him around and/or did all his errands for him anyway. He's real good at maps though and likes to be helpful by being the navigator. He's the smartest man in the world but he's completely stymied by a gas pump; you're better off pumping the gas yourself and sending him into the gas station for snacks. He always manages to conjure a full meal out of convenience food, somehow, and he's really good at feeding you while you drive.

Wyll: He saved up and bought his own fixer-upper car after getting kicked out of the house as a teenager. Good driver in general. People always think he would make a good designated driver, but actually he likes drinking socially and will politely decline requests to be the DD unless there's no one else available. Sometimes when he's having a bad day he blasts music really loud and finds a deserted area to just fuckin tear ass down as fast as he can go (he'll only do this alone and doesn't tell anyone about it). Never lets you pay for gas even if you offer. Will pick up hitchhikers.

Halsin: Has been driving the same car since 1973. Drives that specific car really well. If you gave him a modern car he would have no idea what anything on the dashboard does. Honestly, he prefers to walk or bike anyway.

Jaheira: Has a fuck-off huge SUV full of empty cans and wrappers from her kids. Absolute maniac of a driver who tailgates and speeds with no regard for road signs or lane markings. She is going to GET where she is GOING and gods help you if you get in the way.

Minsc: Failed the driving test three times and just gets rides from Jaheira. This does not bother him in the slightest. He tells you that Boo can drive vehicles you've never even heard of.

Minthara: Has run someone over on purpose.

[alpaca-clouds]

Solarpunk Game Ideas: CRPGs

Here I go on with my ideas for Indie Solarpunk games, that are not some sort of building sim or farming sim - and of course I cannot do this without mentioning CRPGs.

Mind you, despite what you might think given that over the course of the last year I have barely played anything but a certain CRPG (BG3), CRPGs are actually not really a genre of game I am super into, even though some of my favorite games are CRPGs. But as a genre in general I usually like faster paced games a lot more. It is just that when I hyperfocus on something that usually is a result of me getting obsessed with a character from it - and that is more likely to happen with a CRPG than with a metroidvania.

But how to do a Solarpunk CRPG?

The Issue:

Look, there really are not any CRPGs right now that are in any way Solarpunk. And I would argue this goes again back to the issue that people struggle with telling stories within a Solarpunk setting, as they are too set in the idea that a) Solarpunk needs to be an utopian setting (or a setting that pretends to be utopian) and b) that utopian settings will not allow for any conflict whatsoever. Additionally there is of course also the issue that most CRPGs do involve violence in form of fighting, which is what a lot of people struggle with - even though some amazing indie games like Disco Elysium have shown very well, that you can do a CRPG without a combat system.

So, let's go over some ideas for Solarpunk CRPGs.

Idea #1: Off-Brand Princess Mononoke

If you follow me for any time, you might know that to me there is no movie or piece of media that is more Solarpunk than Princess Mononoke. And thankfully we can easily build a sort of CRPG around it, either with a similar historical setting or just a fullon fantasy setting. Because remember: Solarpunk does not need to be Science Fiction!

No matter whether you go with a historical setting or just a full-on fantasy setting, the idea is fairly easy: The player character has a magical problem and they need the help of some sort of spirits. As they travel to the place of the spirit, they find out that the spirits are in a war with some group of humans, that are encroaching of the home of the spirits, because they try to access some sort of ressources, driving the spirits nearly to extinction. The player would have the choice in the end which side to join - or whether they will try to broker peace between spirits and humans.

Bonus: You'd have several choices how to play the game - but it is not a clear cut "good" and "evil", especially when the humans might have good reasons to need the ressource.

Idea #2: A SciFi Conspiracy

This idea is very much for a somewhat shorter game. Think a bit more like "Shadowrun Returns". Something that has more like 15 to 20 minutes of a runtime.

We go with the idea I brought up in one of the other ideas before: We have a Solarpunk world, that runs on mainly anarchist principles, and there are some arguments going about over some of the security mechanisms. (Anarchy can after all not properly work, if some people have weapons and others don't have - but you cannot undo the existence of weapons.) Our main character is part of some security force, that mostly are just trained to deescalate situations, but are in some cases allowed to use force.

And when a group of pro-capitalists or maybe even actual fascists start a conspiracy to take over the government, and they already have some co-conspirators in all positions. And the main characters need to navigate this with a mixture of diplomacy and violence, with the player getting a fairly good influence on how this plays out.

Idea #3: A Natural Disaster

Let me take one approach, that is inspired by one of the most Solarpunk movies, that is not by Ghibli: Misaki no Mayogai. That movie takes place after the Tohoku earthquake and is very much about mutual aid in the community.

And here is the thing: No, CRPGs do not need to have combat. So this is an idea for a CRPG without combat. We have a natural disaster of some sort. Honestly it does not matter. An earthquake, a flood, a vulcano... Can be anything. It just did destroy a lot of stuff in a big area. And the game is very much about rebuilding after this disaster, about people helping each other through mutual aid, and then building something better from it. It could feature a society going full Solarpunk if you want to (like a positive post-apocalypse) or just something getting a bit better. Build back better and such.

And if you are interested in creative Solarpunk endeavors, I would love to invite you into the Solarpunk Creatives community! :)

[y-rhywbeth2]

Something I love about BG1+2 is how it simultaneously plays and subverts the demigod/chosen one narrative (which continues in BG3, except with only the subversion. (And Halsin is not joking when Durge tells him what they are: Do NOT advertise that you're a Bhaalspawn.))

I've always been fond of the set up in Saradush in ToB, where the surviving children of Bhaal are being corralled into the besieged city under promise of protection against the entire world - because basically literally the entire world is trying to kill the Bhaalspawn: Your more powerful siblings want you dead; your mortal neighbours, and likely your nation itself either thinks you're inherently evil and are ready to kill you, or you represent such a threat that they're ready to drive you out and/or kill you just in case. Case in point: the aforementioned siege outside the city walls with the army that wants you dead currently raining giant flaming rocks of death over your head.

Some of these guys have no idea what they are, or what's happening, until attempted murder happens.

Like this discussion with one of your random brothers, a guy called Alexander:

Alexander: "You don't look like one of the locals. Are you a child of Bhaal as well, lured here like the rest of us to face our inevitable end?" Charname: "As well? What do you mean?" Alexander: "I myself am one of Bhaal's progeny - or so I've been told. I guess Bhaal's blood runs thicker in some of his children than in others." Sarevok: "By your snivelling manners, I would say Bhaal's blood runs very thin indeed in your veins. Bah-why do I even waste my breath tormenting this cowering cur?" Alexander: "Uh... is there anything else I can help you with?" Charname: "How did you get here exactly?" Alexander: "I wasn't brought here by Melissan, like some of the others. My home village was burned to the ground by a dragon who claimed to be hunting me. My friends... my family... they threatened to give me to the dragon if I didn't leave. So I did. And I heard a lot of other Bhaalspawn were coming here. *sigh* Now I almost wish I hadn't come."

Spoiler alert: He dies. Every single Bhaalspawn in that city dies*, along with everybody except a handful of commoners (*except maybe Viekang, who was not particularly inclined to murder me, so Murder in Baldur's Gate is weird.)

You, a simple peasant from a farming village one day come of age and learn that your absent father was a god, and you are forced to flee forces that are trying to kill you (in this case, your much more powerful half-brother)... it sounds like the start to some kind of fantasy epic, but instead of any fancy destiny you end up in a war torn city surrounded by castoff divine bastards just like you, terrified and unwanted, and then you die, and are forgotten.

And that's what being a Bhaalspawn is!

Whatever grand lies Bhaal tells you in your dreams about how you're special and great power awaits you (if you behave and do his will), your job is: sow death, faith, fear and chaos wherever you roam, strengthen Bhaal's power, and then be a good child and die for Father. No exceptions, save perhaps one, who is explicitly a special prophecy child, and even then is supposed to be doomed by future FR canon because they're still Bhaal's "pawn". There's also Imoen, who might be spared simply by proximity to said prophecy child keeping her alive. Non-game "canon" screwed her over hard. (FR canon and I have a complicated relationship, it must be said. All copies of those books are to be ritualistically burned.)

idk where I'm going with this, I just love how bleak the situation in the city is. No grand destinies, only a discardable pawn to be used, abused and consumed.

...And also that part where Tethyr sends an army to kill you because obviously you are guilty of "crimes against [Tethyr] and, indeed, all of humanity!" by supposedly killing a whole city: They admit they can't prove it, but you're a child of murder, you were born guilty even if you didn't actively do anything.

No, really:

General Jamis Tombelthen: "You are guilty, [Charname]. Of this there is no doubt. And we will not risk your further endangerment of us all. You are a spawn of Bhaal and responsible for the destruction of the city of Saradush*. Your execution has been ordered, [Charname]. May the gods have mercy on your soul."

* I implore you to move with great urgency to intercept the Bhaalspawn before they can do any more damage. Whether or not they are responsible for what occurred in Saradush, we cannot allow them to continue and cannot afford the time for trial... - Tombelthen's orders, courtesy of the Queen of Tethyr

[linka-from-captain-planet]

Rating BG3 Ladies Stroke Game

My brain won't let me write my fics so have this shit instead.

Ratings based on vibes and also facts opinions (controversial: not everyone can be a sex god)

all the main and supporting women + my background babes: Florrick, Talli, Alfira, Lakrissa, Araj, Nocturne, Skoona, Adrielle, Z'rell, (ETA:) Nine-Fingers, and special guest star Philomeen

*Anyone can be trans and straps are for everyone regardless, so take your pic on homegrown vs store-bought and/or magical strap*

*Also sex is like pizza, so average results are in fact still pretty good. Only 2, 1, and 0/10 are truly trash dick. So a 5 or 6 is still a compliment!*

Lae'zel: 10/10. She pulls hair, she spanks ass. She has the experience, the athleticism, the drive, the romantic heart. Also the greatest switch to ever live as a simultaneous 10/10 bottom.

Shadowheart: 5/10. Her experience is mostly hand/mouth activities due to lack of privacy/places to hide supplies or apparati in the cloister. She has better ways of making a lover fall apart, but her stroke game is perfectly serviceable.

Karlach: 6/10. LISTEN. I see the vision as a tongue god, but she needs some work to hone her stroke game (too eager = painful, and a possible classic Bigger Is Always Better fallacy waiting to happen), and like SH, she's also not very experienced. She can and will ascend the ranks, but give her a minute to get there!!

Minthara: 10/10. We all know this. She has like 200 years of experience as well as the drive, focus, precision, athleticism, and heart. She gets RESULTS, but also is surprisingly emotionally available, so she covers all the physical, emotional, and psychological bases.

Jaheira: 4/10. Not her favorite, or her forte. CAN she strap? Yes, and it's satisfying, but nothing to write home about. A queen of the accessibility strap (thigh/hand harness GOATed... iykyk) due to her knees/lumbar hurting.

Isobel: 5/10. Perfectly serviceable, likes to tease, knows the technique and executes it well. However, being 5'2" with lung issues holds her back when it comes to higher intensity activities. Also an accessibility harness queen.

Aylin: 12/10. Has been at it since before anyone else on this list was even born. Once she connects emotionally to her partner, there's no going back to anyone else. Perfect balance of brutality and gentleness; she knows how to use her weight, and her aftercare is literal god tier.

Mizora: 0/10. Would probably be pretty good if she deigned to do it, but let's be so for real, pup!

Orin: ??/10. Either a 0 or a 10, no inbetween. A freak bitch for the daring sort who are willing to gamble on what she meant when she said she wanted to 'get all up in your guts'.

Florrick: 3/10. A perfect example of how a dominant personality doesn't always translate to an ability to top. Will do it, but focuses too much on technique and zones out and starts thinking about work. Definitely would rather be on the bottom being ridden VS putting the stroke effort in herself.

Talli: 7/10. A humble, ego-free, service top for all who enjoy a gentler lover. Hesitant to get too rough or nasty with it; she's got that +3 STR and she knows how to use it, but she doesn't want to hurt or disrespect her sweetie!

Alfira: 1/10. Sweet Alfie has many good and sexy qualities but she is never taking anyone to pound town ever. She will do it, and it might be fun and playful, but never "good" by any objective measure. Absolute demon on a slower, more sensual grind, but anything approaching "stroke game"? You're barking up the wrong tree.

Lakrissa: 10/10. Technically an 8 but gets 2 bonus points for being a random girl off the streets and not an alien, centuries-old elf, or demigod. Great dick does walk among us mortals!! She's athletic, she's flirty, she's fun, she's a known giver. She will work extra shifts at her bitch ass job to buy you a house, she will smash you through the floor of said house, she will fix the floor. The total package!

Araj: 4/10. Wears some kind of weird strap regardless of her own equipment because she loves the flair and drama of it, but isn't particularly skilled. Gets distracted. Bad top etiquette. Never shuts up. Still, she gets the job done.

Nocturne: 6/10. Like Shadowheart, her experience is limited by the lack of opportunity in the cloister; but as quartermaster, she would have a greater ability to obtain and hide supplies/equipment, so potentially more experience. Also, maybe as an officer, she was involved in more prestigious orgies?

Skoona: 7/10. Would rather be on the bottom getting pampered, but is an above average top due to always being expected to top. Also a very tender lover (not necessarily "stroke game").

Adrielle: 8/10. She has no choice but to break backs because otherwise, the weight of expectations she places on her own shoulders would break hers. Meticulous. Thorough. Is she enjoying herself? She doesn't know the meaning of the word, but being of service makes her feel whole, and that's what matters, RIGHT?

Z'rell: You Can't Handle It/10. Don't worry about it, maggot. It's not for YOU.

Nine-Fingers: 10/10. Your fingers will quake such that you sign over the deed to your house in her name and you won't even be mad about it. She knows how to work People- what makes them tick. What makes them BOOM. An unforgettable experience.

Philomeen: 20/10. It's the toxicity, I fear. If she can and will blow you up, she can and will blow your back out. It's science. It doesn't matter if she's 1/3 your size, she is FUCKING. You WILL hate yourself after.

[archcambion]

A Rose is a Rose? Some Analysis on Raphael's name.

On a certain discord, someone noted that Raphael's name seemed like a regular name. I paused, considered, and when I realized I was writing more than a paragraph, I decided to do a quick analysis instead.

Raphael is the name for one archangels in Abrahamic religious texts whose name is derived from the Hebrew phrase 'God has Healed'. Though never named in the bible itself, Raphael is associated as the angel that saved Lot in Genesis and associated as the angel who healed disfigured people in the Gospel of John.

However, Raphael is featured prominently in the Book of Tobit, a religiously inspired fictional text that was written after the Babylonian exile of the Jews in 5th century BCE.

A very rough summary of the story is as follows: Tobit is Jewish gravedigger who is blinded and becomes dependent on his wife, fearing she'll cheat on him and wishes for death. Meanwhile, a young woman named Sarah also prays for death when she is stalked by a demon named Asmodeus who kills her suitors.

God hears their prayers and Raphael is sent to help both by traveling with Tobit's son, Tobias. Together they drive away Asmodeus back to hell for Sarah, and Tobias marries her. Raphael travels with them to make sure they return save to Tobais' home. Once there, the archangel heals Tobit rejoices and reminds the exiled Israelis that God will return them home before leaving.

Though popular in Judaism and Christianity as a story, the Catholic and Eastern Church consider it apart of their religious canon.

Under the Catholic Church, Raphael was deemed a saint for his roles in the bible and in the book of Tobias on top of being an archangel. He is considered a patron of travelers, happy meetings, healers, courting, and marriage.

Some of this might feel like a stretch but I got to thinking:

Raphael is the only villain in the game that follows along with Tav/Durge with the promise to save them.

Most of the meetings with Raphael are helpful and remarkably agreeable for a devil.

Raphael proves that he can 'heal' you in Act 3.

The the stretch that you can feel in your hamstrings is likely courtship and marriage, but his situation with Hope and Haarlep play prominently in his interactions in Act 3.

However, what nails it in the coffin this wasn't a coincidence for me is the fact that Asmodeus (the figure that DnD's Asmodeus is based on) has a very explit association with the archangel Raphael.

I don't know if the later will prove to become something more, considering Raphael in BG3 is fated to die -- but it's fun to think about.

[transmurderbug]

🦚 Weekly Tag Wednesday! 🦚

On an actual Wednesday this time.

Thank you for tagging me Kat @mybrainismelted, Nosho @creepkinginc, Evie @energievie, Ice @spookygingerr, Jess @jrooc and

Pie @gallapiech 🥰

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name: Sky. Sometimes.

where in the world is carmen sandiego? (or you): Carmen is in Antarctica. She's apparently a penguin. And I'm under a pine tree.

ok, so this week we are going to snoop into your google search. type in each phrase and tell us what the first suggestion is that google gives you!

What is the best way to… avoid getting spyware on a machine? The "machine" part really drives this home.

Where can I… watch Hazbin Hotel? Are you asking me? Which version? Now I'll be humming all night, thanks.

How old is… Hungary? No need to google this one, it's pretty easy to remember, if you wanna look at the founding of the state. My memory is not what it used to be, but this one is burnt into my brain, I'm pretty sure. It's about to be 1024 years old. Why am I answering these questions though? 🤨 I do love history, to be fair.

How long does it take… to learn Hungarian? What does Google take me for? I want to see the algorithms behind these predictions. A long time, I'm pretty sure.

How many… days between dates? What dates?? Someone help me out, I'm getting confused.

Who set the record for… the fastest time to reach one billion views on YouTube? What is happening.

When did… the Queen die? Which one.

What does it feel like to… get shot. I've been told a scraped wound is worse, that's all I know. Again, why am I answering these?

Can you… run it? Run what...?

When you… say nothing at all. This is a Ronan Keating song. Who I only heard of when he was a guest artist at a symphonic concert I went to. Now you all know him too.

Why do… men have nipples? What kind of a question is this? Why does any mammal have nipples! Biology, dear Google.

Is there a way… to save Karlach.? Ehm. Spoiler alert?

How old do you have to be… to go to college? However old you are when you finish high school. Don't give up on your dreams!

Where do the… Simpsons live? Why would I want to know this?

What is the best time to… post on TikTok? Google wants both Nosho and me to become influencers, this is just another sign.

And to finish us off… What comes up when you type in Shameless? szereplők. I love the language switch. I do however know who the characters are, thank you.

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Well, this was a wild ride. Never in my life have I googled or even thought about googling these things. I either know the answer or I don't even think about the subject. Good job, Google predictions! Job failed successfully! This was pretty fun though. (Just to soften the blow, the Karlach question probably comes from previous BG3 searches. The rest? What even.)

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Tagging, because I'm on time! Yay! Voluntary, as always, if you want to skip, here, have these blueberries: 🫐

@ian-galagher, @transmickey @stocious @suzy-queued @blue-disco-lights @deathclassic @spacerockwriting, @ms-moonlight-inn, @sam-loves-seb @samantitheos, @krysmiss @look-i-love-u @sickness-health-all-that-shit, @heymrspatel @michellemisfit @sweetbee78 @grumble-fish @metalheadmickey @rayrayor @crossmydna @thisdivorce @callivich @gardenerian @lupeloto @francesrose3

@palepinkgoat @heymacy @lee-ow @roryonic @thepupperino

@doshiart and anyone else I'm probably forgetting!

[feedthepheasants]

calling all galemancers! new BG3 fanfic has dropped on AO3!

if you're like me, playing multiple save files of BG3 isn't enough. thankfully, the fandom has our backs, with amazing creators and artists who help further the world of our beloved companions (while also feeding our crippling obsession and need for more content). and the beauty of love, is that it often drives us to creation.

Wynn, a wood elf druid, has been cast into chaos after being abducted onto a nautiloid and infected with a mind-flayer parasite. She gathers companions from around the crash site in hopes of making her way back home to Baldur's Gate, where her fiance is waiting for her. As she travels with her companions and their bonds grow, Wynn realizes her life hasn't turned out quite the way she'd wanted it to. Putting her feelings aside, however, she strives to do the right thing and help as many people as she can, and learns a lot about herself along the way. After weeks of fighting her way across Faerûn, however, Wynn makes a devastating discovery as she watches the world she once knew make its way to a bloody end. How will Wynn's story end? Will it be written by the gods and the weavers of fate, or will she create her own destiny?

i would be so grateful if you would check it out and let me know what you think! currently there are 6 chapters, but with AO3 being down for a couple of hours on july 1, i'm hoping to knock out some more so i can post them once the website maintenance is complete. if you find the time to check it out, i hope you enjoy what i've posted so far!

[miradelletarot]

Isekai Gale tadpole ideas (lol)

While driving around town today, I had this silly idea for an Isekai type story where a modern day gamer is having fun playing BG3, steps away for a longer period of time than anticipated, and some random event (storm? spilled water cup on your pc? etc) damages their PC and causes a weird glitch in the game and somehow (through the magic of literature and imagination i guess) YEETS Gale out of the game and into your house. The player, thinking he's some home invader freaks tf out, then gets really curious about how this random dude doesn't know shit about shit in the modern day. (he must be drunk or something). They choose kindness, and through some (probably) throughout investigation, realizes it's ACTUALLY GALE from the game! bby girl is just trying to get back to Tav...not realizing the player IS Tav (or at least the creator of Tav). In trying to get him back to the game, they form a bond and fall for each other. Does he still want to return to the game, or does he want to try and figure out what modern life is like? It's like if an Isekai anime and a Hallmark movie had a baby. This would be the result. It's so silly but i might fucking write it one day. With my luck, someone already had. In which case, I'm so glad I am not alone in my silly writing ideas lol

[keepittoyourshelf]

I’ve been thinking far too much lately, about BG3 of course because the hyper fixation is only just starting to wane now after 4 months.

Anyways, I am tired of certain members of the fan community inferring that women players shouldn’t pursue Astarion because he shows a clear preference for men. I don’t disagree that in-game dialogue that I have personally seen re: his past dalliances have shown them to be exclusively male. I am not sure if that was a conscious choice on the part of writers, but if it was, I suspect it has more to do with driving home the canonicity of his identity as a queer character in general than it does saying he’s a gay character that can choose to be with women only if the player forces him to.

It’s funny that nobody raises this issue with Halsin, another enthusiastically pansexual character, and I would bet my life on the reason behind that being that Halsin is your stereotypical burly outwardly masculine character, whereas Astarionis decidedly foppish and more delicate in appearance.

Boiled down it seems like a lot of people think that body hair and a messy hairdo makes a canonically pansexual male character “less gay” than another and therefore a more valid romantic option for women.

I’m not going to get into how there is so much more to Astarion (or Halsin for that matter) than his physicality. But certain types of people (i.e. neckbeards and incels) can’t wrap their head around the fact that a character that moves beyond the borders of their limited, one dimensional concept of masculinity could be enthusiastic about fucking a woman. I’m not excluding people that are members of the homosexual community that might be advocating for the fact that Astarion is clearly gay either. They’re a problem too just in smaller numbers.

I mean this poor, wonderful vampire man, so obviously in need of love, is literally accepting all comers (no pun intended I know Astarion hates puns) and because he’s flamboyant and pretty it’s somehow less believable?

I dunno, I get that people are overprotective of stuff they love and there’s this weird instinct to claim things so your obsession seems somehow more validated or whatever. And I probably would feel stupid having daydreams about gay men wanting to sleep with me (real or fake) if they were explicitly stated to be gay.

Astarion’s pansexuality isn’t implied, it’s confirmed, so don’t piss in my cornflakes and let me enjoy playing out the vampire romance dreams I’ve been harboring since I first read Interview With the Vampire in 1994. Like this is the closest I’ll ever get to realizing my dream of Lestat being real and me getting to make out with him and have him tell me I’m pretty so let me just have it for fuck’s sake.

Interesting side note about Lestat, he is yet another character who shows overwhelming textual evidence of being what some would consider gay (flamboyant, dramatic, into fashion) yet can appreciate and enjoy the beauty of women as well. For whatever reason though folks seem to think women have less of a “claim” over Astarion than Lestat, so whatever.

Tldr: Astarion is a man of prodigious appetites, and sometimes he wants tits and pussy and that’s okay.

They’re both hot, they both want my Tav, so fuck off.

[astarionancuninslittlelove]

BG3 Companions as The Tortured Poets Department Songs:

Wyll•Gale•Astarion•Karlach•Lae’zel•

Shadowheart Headcanon

Wyll 🗡️: "Fresh Out the Slammer"

"Years of labor, locks, and ceilings/

In the shade of how he was feeling/

But it's gonna be alright./

I did my time.

Now pretty baby I'm runnin back home to you"

I am not sure why this just reminds me of Wyll getting out of Mizora's pact and out from under the disapproving eyes of his father and being free. From there, he is free to do as he pleases. Also, I think Wyll to be a certified lover boy, so once he is free of all of this, he is free to really get into it with Tav.

Gale 🔮: "The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived"

"And I don't even want you back/

I just want to know/

If rusting my sparkling summer was the goal/

And I don't miss what we had/

But could someone give/

A message to the smallest man who ever lived"

~

"And you'll confess why you did it/

And I'll say, "Good riddance"/

Cause it wasn't sexy once it wasn't forbidden/

I would've died for your sins/

Instead I just died inside/

And you deserve prison,/

But you won't get time."

Immediately reminded me of Gale and Mystra. The whole time, Gale didn't know that what she was doing was so wrong, and once he came to that realization after she essentially cast him out to die, he realized. As the loyal king that he is, I really believe he would have done anything for her. And Mystra, when I find you Mystra...you do deserve prison!!!!

Astarion 🦇: "I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)"

"They shake their heads/

Saying, "God help her," when I/

Tell 'em he's my man/

But your good Lord doesn't need to lift a finger

I can fix him/

No, really I can.

This reminded me more of Tav x Astarion's relationship rather than Astarion himself. In the beginning when you pair up with Astarion, it is almost like the air is thick with some sort of confusion or disapproval with the companions at camp (not confirmed, just vibes) because (good aligned) Tav and Astarion is such an unlikely pair. They eventually learn to love it.

Karlach 🔥: "Florida!!!"

"And my friends all smell like weed or little babies/

And the city reeks of driving myself crazy"

~

"Your home's really a town/

You're just a guest in"

The first part reminded me of how after Gortash's death, Karlach has dialogue with Tav about how they get to go about living their lives meanwhile she has a death sentence. The second part reminds me of how much she loves Baldur's Gate, but she cannot be there as much as she would want to--She must return to Avernus otherwise her heart will go into overdrive. Also in the epilogue she mentions to Tav how she is going to come back to Baldur's Gate eventually; she PROMISES in fact. She is going to find a way.

Lae'zel ⚔️: "Who's Afraid of Little Old Me?"

"I just want to snarl and show you/

Just how disturbed this has made me/

You wouldn't last an hour/

In the asylum where they raised me"

~

"I was tame, I was gentle/

Til the circus life made me mean/

Don't you worry folks, we took out all her teeth"

This song got me thinking about how her entire upbringing, she was told to worship Vlaakith and how she would do anything in her name. Upon finding out of Vlaakith's ulterior motives, she is stripped of everything that she knew her entire life.

Shadowheart 🖤: "I Hate It Here"

"You see I was a debutant in another life but/

Now I seem to be scared to go outside/

If comfort is a construct/

I don't believe in good luck/

Now that I know what's what.

~

"I hate it here so I will go to/

Secret gardens in my mind/

People need a key to get to/

The only one is mine/

I read about it in a book when I was a precocious child/

No mid-sized city hopes and small town fears/

I'm there most of the year/

Cause I hate it here"

I had a harder time finding a song that fit her, but this one stuck out the most because there are parts of her that she doesn't remember, and throughout the beginning of the game, she is incredibly secretive as a self-preservation tactic.

[anosrepasi]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers (if you’d like). Spread the self-love ♥️

Decided to make this a ✨ new years ask ✨

Behold, the (completed-not-WIP) Anosrepasi fic rec list, direct from the source:

Daylight - Horizon Zero Dawn - 5470 Words

My absolute favorite fic I've written so far is uh. based on two lines of dialogue in HZD and centered around Nil and Janeva. It asks how two deeply flawed people would address the concept of "rehabilitation" in a very unjust society with very imperfect methods, and I adore it so much in that it's about people doing their best and the reader also being horrified by what counts as the best. All my kingdom for more people to read Daylight and talk about these two with me lmao.

2. Like an old enemy, like the salt and the sea - Assassin's Creed: Valhalla - 4171 Words

A technically canon compliant ghost story about how fucked up the Sciropescire arc was of that game. Unfortunately Ivaar & Eivor had way too much chemistry for me to be happy leaving their story at the canon ending and I decided to say, hey you know what would be fucked up? A ghost. Getting literally haunted by regret. Multiple layers of dramatic irony to drive the knife home. I am very seldom drawn to writing for AC games but yeah these two got me.

3. Prima Lingua - The Old Guard - 16338 Words

Prima Lingua could possibly be 1st on the rec list but you should probably read Lingua Franca first and it felt disingenuous to put my most popular favorite fic as the top fic rec when I think my lesser known one-shots shine more. But yeah. Prima Lingua. This fic takes the award for the most challenging fic on this list and the one that's pushed me as a writer more than any others. The rewards for that though are so so worth it, this fic shines. While LF is good, this fic is i think even more of a soul mark on the series than the first fic. Every single chapter had something I was immensely proud of and I adore this story so much.

4. don't hold your breathe waiting for me 'cause the ocean needs you more - Assassin's Creed: Odyssey - 2449 Words

This one has opposite energy than like the salt and the sea but is also focused on doomed lovers. Did you know they found the remains of who they think is Brasidas of Sparta around the turn of the century? You can go see his alleged ossuary in the museum at Amphipolis? Fucking wild. Obviously when I learned this I thought Kassandra would probably have the worst museum trip in existence there to say goodbye towards the end of the game in the modern era.

5. understand that there is a beast within you that can drink till it is sick but cannot drink til it is satisfied - Baldur's Gate 3 - 4025 Words

The game gave us truth herb spiked wine and I'm not supposed to play that out for the most charged game of 20 questions in existence? I'm so happy with this piece, it came out splendidly and on reread still shatters my heart. I had so much fun playing with the world of BG3 here and adding to the romance that we got in game.

Thank you for the wonderful ask!!!