#i drew this cause im bisexual yes

[ca-3]

Shujin Hawaii trip 🌺✨️

The view sure is nice today... 🏖

[sentientsky]

pov: your baby brother is a Weird Little Guy™️

[robindrake93]

11 days since I sent you that ask and I can now say, I get it. I get what you meant about episode 8. WE DID NOT JUST GET LUKERCY CRUMBS HOLY SHIT-

ALL OF THEIR SCENES TOGETHER WERE MAKING ME FERAL FJGKD WHICH WAS SO HARD TO KEEP IN WHILE WATCHING IT WITH MY SIS 😭😭 IT WAS SO GOOD

the training!! the entire fucking fight with luke practically begging percy to believe that he is his friend and wants him to join him!! the lighting!! just everything!!! you can soo tell luke wanted to shove percy in that portal and take him along no matter what!! (ignoring annabeths appearance cause im still on the fence with that change even if I get why they did it)

i am so going to binge read lukercy fics the entire night just to fill my rabid need for content of them after seeing that AHFJVKDKD I CANT-

You're right we didn't just get crumbs, we got a whole damn pie.

Luke not only welcoming Percy to camp but being the one to show him around, constantly by his side. Even watching him sleep from across the cabin.

The look on Percy's face when Luke tells him he's always on Annabeth's side.

Luke breaking the camp rules that two demigods (with different parents) aren't allowed to be alone in the cabins together to give Percy the shoes in his cabin (as opposed to on the hill like in the book).

Percy wanting to take Luke on the quest but being afraid that Luke would prioritize Annabeth over him.

The jealousy and disgust in Luke's voice during the Iris message when he makes the comment about "when did you two become an old married couple" and the look of equal disgust and discomfort from Percy when he says "gross let's move on from that." (paraphrasing but you get the idea)

Luke influencing Percy so much that the very first words of Percy's book ("Look, I didn't want to be a halfblood") are actually a quote from Luke.

The whole training scene.

Sword under the chin is always hot. Percy's making a face like he knows it too.

When Luke goes to sit on that rock beside Percy, he chooses a spot that lets them sit eye-to-eye but also he rocks toward Percy for a second like he's going to go in for a kiss.

Percy mirroring the head tilt that Luke (Charlie?) does.

Luke's voice full of pride when Percy does good.

Luke telling Percy he's small and scary. So fucking cute.

The way we can see via body language what book!Percy has been telling us all along: that every time Percy picks up his sword, he hears Luke's voice in his head telling him what to do.

Percy and Luke almost never take their eyes off each other for the whole secret meeting about Clarisse.

They're meeting in the woods at night. Luke didn't even have to bribe Percy this time, he just trotted after him.

Luke coaxing Percy into talking. (in the books Percy doesn't do a lot of talking out loud and Luke actually does break the ice several times because Percy is just standing there staring like a little weirdo [affectionate].).

Fireworks from beginning to end. Love the red and blue ones especially for that bisexual lighting. It was easily the best lighting in the whole show.

"Easy. I just want to show you." Everyone says that the maia scene was the hottest thing Charlie said as Luke but they're sleeping on this. Those are 'gonna take your virginity' words and his tone of voice? Mmm. Yum.

AND it's about his sword? HIS SWORD?! The most phallic weapon of all? Gods help me.

Just an interesting detail but Luke doesn't actually ever point his sword at Percy until Percy attacks him. It really shows that his plan is to convince Percy to leave with him.

"The gods are my enemy. You....." - Luke searching for what Percy is to him. lol I guess it's supposed to be a dramatic pause for dramatic effect but it really just makes it sound like Luke is debating how exactly to define their relationship.

Both of them have watery tear-filled eyes? Excuse me? Cry babies? Yes please. I told all of you so.

Also Luke is comfortable with turning his back on Percy to draw the runes (?) even though Percy drew his sword and is sweating like a sinner in church.

Luke actually proposing that they run away. Together. Just the two of them.

"We"

Percy is literally swaying on his feet. You can see that he's nervous but he also doesn't take so much as a single step backward. He still wants to be close to Luke!

Luke's determination to bring Percy with him. During their fight he does his best to keep Percy between himself and the portal. He even tosses Percy towards it a couple of times. Luke wants Percy to run away with him voluntarily but you can see as the fight goes on longer, he decides kidnapping is an option.

Luke is not leaving without his boy.

The skill difference between Percy and Luke. We see this during training too, where Luke is tossing Percy around and basically playing with him (I mean it's serious training but Luke's skill level is so above that it looks like playing). Luke is not seriously fighting Percy. He's trying to herd Percy into that portal.

Luke praising Percy in the middle of their fight.

Percy cutting Luke.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to -" Because Percy really doesn't want to hurt Luke and he's never like actually hurt someone he cares about.

Luke cutting Percy.

Looming.

The way after Annabeth shows up, Luke's eyes flit down to Percy three separate times. You can visibly see him weighing his options. I think he was debating if he could sling Percy over his shoulder and run into the portal faster than Annabeth could catch them.

"I know Luke wasn't trying to kill me." - WOW what a change from the book. I can't believe they had Percy understand that because in the pit scorpion scene, he did not get it. I'm happy about the change but surprised they made it. (makes me wonder if Percy's the one who's loyalty we're supposed to question instead of Annabeth's as the next seasons come up).

Sorry that was long but like. Wow. We won hardcore.

As for reading more lukercy fic, you'll be pleased to know that it's the lukercy valentine's event this week (02/12-02-15) so there should be ✨ new fics. ✨

[awoken-artist]

{Drawn Jun 2, 2022} Drew this in June of 2022 and yes. A thing about me is I am Autistic and I am also Bisexual. :) Now I know alot of people, especially during pride month, Bisexuals are always frowned upon cause people have to make nasty assumptions on Bisexuals and spread nasty hate.

Bisexuals are not 50/50. We both like men and women. some of us like both of them 50/50, some of us lean more on either the opposite or the same while still find both genders attractive. I am on that with Bisexual. I find both genders attractive and would date, I just more lean to Men but I wouldnt mind dating a women. Just - never had any women like me in a romantic way. Maybe once in highschool but for young 17 year old me never experienced anything regarding Bisexuals and pride month cause no one talks about it. basically the highschool era I was in is the closeted era in a way. ish. 

On me being Autistic I end up finally coming to a full understanding of last year in November that it all makes complete sense that I am Autistic. I asked my mom about it and she said I am indeed Autistic just I am a Autistic person who can be independent and can take care of myself. I say this with me finding a full understanding me being Autistic is I - never had a normal classroom. I am always placed in special classrooms with the same. students. for the entire middle and highschool years. which for me was full on 6 years straight. There was a few students that come and go but most of them I have known them since I met them back in 7th grade to graduation.

I have remembered going with my teachers aid to visit this one lil building where those who have severe disabilities are at. with a few aid teachers are there to help them learn while taking care of their medical needs. Which- looking back I do hope that they are living a good life. It makes me thankful of the life I have because I could of been severly Autistic where I need a aid constantly or maybe get a much severe disability. which im thankful for but I also wish those who sadly are not lucky, i do wish them all the best life no matter what. They deserve all the love. No matter what.

And sadly they also get the amount of hate to. by people assuming every autistic person are stupid and various of other things I rather not get into. But to the haters- you all need to grow up. stop breathing toxic air to spew it in peoples faces. seriously go breath fresh air , hydrate and calm your buttocks and just - stop. this isnt kindergarden. this is real life. stop making autistic people seem their stupid when they arnt. we have a different way of learning even functionally. you just need to learn and understand about it. even do research too. theres PLENTY of it even on YouTube. not that hard to look. literally. Its also bad when it comes to- finding jobs. because it feels no one wants to take a autistic person into a job even though me and many others WANT. TO WORK. I am still worried about it but hoping id find work around that can be understanding of my learning disability that connects to my autism, and be patient. I am willing to work i just need to understand what to do, and so on so forth. hopefully i’ll find a place and I hope everyone else finds it too. [bonus if i can make a complete living as a freelance artist so i can do my art dream job] 

🌸🍡Please don’t steal and resubmit/repost my works without my permission! thanks!🍡🌸

🌸————————-{Credits}————————-🌸

Artwork and my character Vtuber/Mascot Tsuki Hime © by: @awoken-artist

​Programs Used: Clip Studio Paint EX

[sorenfm]

           choi  san  .  cis  male  .  he / him  or  they / them  .  /  soren  shin  just  pulled  up  blasting  late  night  by  goldlink  ft.  masego  .  --  that  song  is  so  them  !  you  know  ,  for  a  twenty  four  year  old  socialite  and  illustrator  ,  i’ve  heard  they’re  really  -vexatious  ,  but  that  they  make  up  for  it  by  being  so  +  alluring  .  if  i  had  to  choose  three  things  to  describe  them  ,  i’d  probably  say  graphite  stained  hands  gripping  the  neck  of  a  bottle  of  remy  martin  louis  xiii  ,  gucci  sneakers  tapping  rhythmically  on  museum  floors  ,  and  unread  texts  and  unanswered  phone  calls  clogging  his  lockscreen  .  here’s  to  hopping  they  don’t  cause  too  much  trouble  !

           hmm  ,  yes  .  this  two  gif  thing  with  block  quotes  is  just  as  extra  as  i  was  hoping  it  would  be  🥰  .  that  being  said  ,  hi  babies  !  my  name’s  koa  (  pronounced  like  co - uh  )  ,  and  i’m  really  excited  to  be  here  !  my  pronouns  are  preferably  non - binary  ,  but  please  feel  free  to  use  she / her  as  well  .  i’m  not  going  to  get  upset  if  you  do  ,  promise  🥺  .  i’ve  been  dying  to  play  san  for  quite  some  time  ,  so  with  that  comes  the  birth  of  my  absolutely  vile  son  known  as  soren  !  he’s  like  ...  fresh  from  the  box  brand  new  so  i’m  working  out  kinks  and  stuff  ,  but  everything  mentioned  in  this  intro  is  pretty  much  set  in  stone  !  i  won’t  ramble  on  for  too  long  ,  but  i  can  share  my  discord  if  that’s  the  easiest  or  most  convenient  for  you  ,  but  i’m  also  down  to  plot  in  the  im’s  !

𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐬  .

BIRTH  NAME  :  shin  jin - hyeok  .

PREFERRED  NAME  :  soren  shin  .

NICKNAME(S)  :  jinnie  (  by  his  mom  ,  only  )  .

BIRTHDATE  /  AGE  :  december  25th  ,  1996  /  23  .

ZODIAC  :  capricorn  .

HOMETOWN  :  atlanta  ,  georgia  .

GENDER  :  cis  male  .

NATIONALITY  :  korean  american  .

ETHNICITY  :  korean  .

HEIGHT  :  5′10″  .

LABEL(S)  :  the  artisan  ,  the  bellwether  ,  the  gregarious  ,  the  icarian ,  and  the  thespian  . 

ROMANTIC  ORIENTATION  :  biromantic  .

SEXUAL  ORIENTATION  :  bisexual  .

OCCUPATION  :  socialite  and  freelance  illustrator  .

LANGUAGES  SPOKEN  :  korean  ,  english  ,  and  conversational  spanish  .

POSITIVES  :  alluring  ,  veritable  ,  altruistic  ,  unconstrained  ,  and  urbane  .

NEGATIVES  :  domineering  ,  sardonic  ,  quick - tempered  ,  shallow  and  vexatious  .

𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝  .

it’s  nearly  impossible  to  think  about  the  atlanta  social  scene  without  the  shin  family  coming  to  mind  .  both  of  jin - hyeok’s  parents  did  not  come  from  money  ,  but  they  both  lived  comfortably  .  both  were  children  of  immigrants  from  south  korea  ,  and  that  is  what  caused  them  to  work  as  hard  as  they  did  .  woo - yong  and  eun - mi  met  one  another  when  they  were  both  accepted  into  the  same  culinary  school  ,  but  eun - mi  originally  had  no  interest  in  woo - yong  .  he  was  known  around  their  school  as  something  of  a  player  ,  and  for  the  longest  ,  she  always  shot  down  his  advances  .

eventually  ,  eun - mi  decided  to  go  on  one  date  with  him  ,  and  it  was  history  from  there  .  they  were  married  within  two  years  ,  and  they  eloped  at  the  city  of  atlanta  courthouse  and  their  honeymoon  consisted  of  getting  matching  tattoos  on  their  ring  fingers  because  they  couldn’t  afford  rings  at  that  time  .  the  couple  worked  hard  through  the  years  ,  and  they  eventually  opened  the  first  location  of  their  korean - american  fusion  brunch  restaurant  .  the  restaurant  opened  to  strong  success  ,  and  they  brought  in  over  a  million  in  profits  in  their  first  year  ,  which  turned  their  lives  for  the  better  .

the  day  they  went  to  finally  purchase  their  wedding  rings  was  the  day  eun - mi  told  woo - yong  that  they  were  having  a  lil  squish  .  said  lil  squish  came  seven  months  and  two  weeks  later  in  their  master  bathroom  tub  (  because  jin - hyeok  refused  to  be  in  there  to  full  term  )  and  it  was  the  happiest  day  of  their  lives  .  throughout  jin - hyeok’s  childhood  ,  the  couple  continued  to  pursue  their  restaurant  dreams  ,  and  opened  four  more  locations  in  buckhead  ,  sandy  springs  ,  morningside  ,  and  brookhaven  by  the  time  he  was  ten  .  

while  growing  up  ,  jin - hyeok  always  took  a  liking  to  his  creative  side  ,  and  it  was  mostly  due  to  his  parents  being  creatives  themselves  .  when  he  wasn’t  in  the  kitchen  with  them  ,  he  was  reading  webtoons  and  mangas  ,  which  sparked  his  own  interest  in  drawing  .  he  was  100%  self  taught  ,  and  used  to  spend  hours  watching  videos  on  how  to  do  do  certain  things  .  by  the  time  he  started  posting  his  art  on  the  new  platform  that  was  instagram  ,  jin - hyeok  had  begun  going  by  the  name  of  soren  shin  since  he  kept  his  art  mostly  to  himself  at  the  time  .  to  get  an  idea  of  what  his  art  looks  like  ,  check  out  my  favorite  artist  laia  lopez  on  instagram  !

he  went  to  the  coveted  scad  (  savannah  college  of  art  and  design  )  where  he  studied  fine  arts  .  he  graduated  in  the  spring  of  2018  , and  he  continued  posting  his  art  on  instagram  before  he  was  approached  by  a  publishing  company  to  create  a  book  of  his  own  art  !  he’s  released  a  few  of  them  leading  into  this  year  ,  and  has  drawn  the  illustrations  for  a  few  graphic  novels  throughout  the  years  .  moved  to  los  angeles  for  the  big  dreamz  but  in  reality  he  doesn’t  do  a  damn  thing  but  post  on  his  personal  account  and  go  to  fashion  shows  .  he  still  does  art  and  everything  ,  but  his  life  as  a  socialite  is  more  prominent  for  him  at  the  time  .

𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬  .

baby  is  an  artist  !  despite  him  having  no  interest  to  hold  down  a  day  job ,  he  mainly  focuses on  his  art  throughout  the  day  .  he  definitely  doesn’t  like  to  be  interrupted  when  he’s  drawing  so  if  he  answers  the  door  with  an  attitude  ,  then  you  know  why  .

he  does  not  answer  the  phone  and  don’t  expect  him  to  !  he  will  intentionally  leave  you  on  read  and  watch  his  phone  ring  until  it  stops  .  really  ,  he  doesn’t  know  why  he  needs  a  phone  outside  of  social  media  ,  but  if  you  want  to  get  in  touch  ...  dm  him  .  he  might  answer  .

his  favorite  food  is  sushi  so  for  the  love  of  everything  that  is  holy  don’t  let  him  pick  where  to  eat  because  he’ll  say  sugarfish  or  nobu  every  single  time  .

he  wears  all  black  ,  but  like  ....  expensive  all  black  .  he  will  wear  his  berets  and  his  garrett  leight  glasses  and  his  cartier  bracelets  and  his  fancy  clothes  literally  every  day  .  don’t  ask  him  about  casual  clothes  .  they  don’t  exist  .  his  casual  is  a  silk  pajama  set  .

drives  a  white  audi  q7  and  lives  in  the  hollywood  hills  .

don’t  ask  him  to  go  on  a  date  because  he’ll  just  wanna  go  to  art  exhibits  ,  art  festivals  ,  and  museums  .  ya’ll  will  go  to  dinner  and  he’ll  talk  your  ear  off  about  it  ,  but  he’ll get  all  shy  and  rosy  cheeked  when  someone  asks  about  his  own  art  since  he  doesn’t  really  share  it  that  often  .

owns  every  piece  and  collection  of  the  fenty  beauty  line  .  curly  bangs  in  his  eyes  25 / 8  .

𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲  .

i’ve  pretty  much  said  everything  in  the  headcanons  ,  but  he’s  really  a  charmer  at  heart  but  he’ll  also  make  you  panic  .  since  he  doesn’t  answer  the  phone  people  tend  to  think  that  he’s  fallen  of  the  face  of  the  earth  or  god  forbid  he’s  gone  missing  ,  but  chances  are  he’s  in  his  house  ...  ignoring  you  lol  .  he’s  really  about  his  looks  and  won’t  leave  the  house  without  making  sure  that  he  looks  impeccable  ,  and  he  will  go  home  if  he  feels  ugly  .  he  can  be  really  sarcastic  and  it  doesn’t  take  much  but  a  couple  of  words  to  put  him  into  a  sour  mood  ,  so  he’s  a  real  testy  one  .  above  all  else  ,  though  ,  he  really  likes  to  have  fun  and  he’s  really  social  so  please  come  join  him  at  his  house  for  some  reality  show  viewing  with  wine  and  junk  food  .

𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐝  𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐬  .

idk  why  i’m  envisioning  this  ,  but  someone  he  drew  inspo  from  for  the  manga  he’s  working  on  .  they  could  either  m  ,  nb  ,  or  female  of  course  and  it’s  more  so  based  on  their  looks  than  anything  else  ,  but  he’s  always  going  to  them  and  wanting  to  show  the  progress  he’s  making  !

i’d  die  if  he  had  an  angsty  ex  boyfriend  kinda  thing  because  honestly  👀  i  wanna  have  my  wig  snatched  thank  u  .

a  best  friend  !  

someone  that  tries  to  make  him  workout  but  in  reality  he’s  sitting  and  eating  a  bagel  on  the  weight  bench  .

some  generic  tingz  like  neighbors  ,  friends  with  benefits  ,  confidant(s)  ,  good  or  bad  influence  ,  one  night  stand(s)  ,  a  current  fling  ,  enemies  with  benefits  ,  and  frenemies  !!!

honestly  i’m  a  sl*t  for  angst  and  everything  that  comes  with  it  so  please  hand  it  over  or  i’ll  start  crying  .

[missblissy]

SO I ACCIDENTLY DELETED THE ASK BUUT! Anon asked about my OCs so here they are ;v;

These are my two important children. I do not have their demon forms drawn out yet because THIS IS A VERY OLD REF OF THEM ((I drew this in 2017. I do not have a working tablet but im GETTING ONE FOR CHRISTMAS SO IM GONNA BE DRAWING AGAIN SOON!! This is just their general bio, not necessarily Hazbin hotel))

Sage Helvig:

Age: 26 Gender: Female Race: Mixed. Japanese/Europen Descent.   Status: Alive Build/Body Type/Physical Frame: Smol Height: 4′9″ Weight: 160 lbs Skin: White Hair: Long black hair that stops above her waist, wavy but little to nose curls Eyes: Blue Other defining features/extra anatomy: Has many piercings on her ears, both ears are completely covered with piercings. Voice: Soft-spoken and relatively monotone. Doesn’t express a lot of emotions when speaking. Often mistaken for being tired. Style: POP PUNK!!! EDGY!!! EMO!!!!

Loves/Favorites: - Tol Husband - Magic/Pagan worship - Japanese cuisine and culture - Archery/Bowhunting - Studying Mythology - Pepsi ((She’s addicted)) - ALL BREAKFAST FOOD - And fruits. She prefers fruit over candy - Chemistry - Cleaning ((It’s a form of therapy for her)) - Science ((in general)) - Crabs ((She keeps them as pets and thinks they are the cutest things every)) - Winter and Fall - Swords/Daggers/Blades

Hates: - Candy, like unnaturally sweet things ((like taffy, lemon drops, sour patch kids, etc etc)) - Math - Cooking - Most internet culture. - Evil/Dark spirits/Demons ((Anything malevolent)) - People who don’t know how to shut up about cars - Bugs - Spring and Summer

Hobbies: - Studying different culture’s mythology/history/religions. - Witchcraft/Spellcasting - Demon slaying - Archery - Chemistry - Swordsmanship

Hopes/Dreams: - To one day rid the world of all demonic and malevolent spirits. - Have a daughter of her own and raise her the way she was raised - To become a skilled and honorable Demon Slayer

Fears/Nightmares: - Anything bad happening to Van or her brother - Death - Demonic possession ((Ya know, being possessed and shit)) - Hurting the innocent. - Getting sent to Hell

Best Quality: - She is a skilled Demon Slayer who has seen more combat than the average person. She used a mix of a short bow, rapier and magical abilities when hunting and fighting demons and spirits Greatest Flaw: - She doesn’t put enough trust and faith into those around her. She struggles with taking on to much at once and burning herself out. She tries to hard to fix everything by herself and tends to push the people she cares most away from her. How does the character picture himself/herself? - She doesn’t see or view herself as the legend she is slowly becoming. She’s very humble and feels as though she is at the bottom of the ladder when it comes to anything she does. There is always room for improvement. How do others see him/her? - One of the best Demon Slayers there are out there, many people are fame struck when the come meet her because she is from a long demon slayer that dates back to some of the earliest centries of human culture and society. This causes her and Van to move a lot.

Most valued possession: - The rapier sword that she was gifted too by her father as he died from a fatal wound during a battle with a demon. It is the same rapier sword that she used to kill said demon that murdered her father.

Is he/she motivated by possibility or necessity? - Necessity. She knows that she is needed because there are so few people left on the planet with gifts like hers ((I.e Magical abilities)) How does he/she view the future and/or the past? - Sage thinks there is a grim future for humanity and has little faith in those around her. She tries not to think about the past either but uses it as motivation to keep moving forward. What is his/her philosophy on life and death? - She fears death more than anything, only because she doesn’t know what kind of afterlife she will have. Sage doesn’t think death is the end, and believe there is life beyond death. She wants to live as long as she can, possibly growing old with Van. What kind of energy level do they usually have? Sleepy and depressed. She’s not a bubbly person and is very serious and stoic and quiet.

Does he/she have a temper? Yes but only if you push her to the edge or if she’s been cornered in some way.

Polite or rude? Rude Stingy or generous? Generous Leader or a follower? Leader More happy by themselves or in a group? By herself What is his/her sexual preference/experience/values? - Sage is bisexual, monogamous, and demisexual. Before she married Vanderlinde she dated both men and women. She doesn’t sleep around and find causal sex repulsive ((for her, she doesn’t care what other people do with their sex lives)) -History/Background- - Sage was born from a Japanese mother and a German father. She was born in Japan but her family moved around every few years due to being members of a secret society dedicated to exterminating demons. Her mother is still alive however her father died when she was 17 years old in a fatal battle with a Demon. - She has spent almost her entire life working for a secret society of demon slayers, which she took on as a full-time job after her father died. - Sage has an older half brother named Kael, they share the same mother but a different father. - She received formal schooling through the secret soceity she worked for. She was able to still get her high school education while traveling around the world to slay demons. - She met Vanderlinde when she was 20 years old and after just moving to the United States. Vanderlinde was a priest at the time and Sage had just enrolled in university for a chemistry degree. They quickly fell in love and Sage welcomed Vanderlinde into her secret society with open arms and Vanderlinde happily joined.

((There is so much more to Sage’s backstory I’m just TIRED and SLEEPY so this is all ya’ll get.))

___________________________________________

Vanderlinde Helvig:

Age: 31 Gender: Male Race: Cucasion, Scandinavian descent. Status: Alive Build/Body Type/Physical Frame: Tol Height: 6′0″ Weight: 230 lbs Skin: White Hair: Short blonde fluffy hair Eyes: Green Other defining features/extra anatomy: He has several tattoos, all of them are based of Nordic Mythology, Nordic Ruins, and Scandinavian Vikings Voice: Deep but soothing. Imagine what butter would sound like if it could talk.SMOOTH Style: Business Causal, he’s a professor so he wears a lot of dress shirts and sweaters. This boy loves his cashmere sweaters.

Loves/Favorites: - His smol wife - Music ((He loves pop punk, rock, grunge, metal, etc etc)) - THE LORD ALL MIGHTY - Sunday Prayer - His Students - Teaching - Nordic Mythology - Cooking - PEACE AND LOVE - Coffee and tea. - Summer and Fall - Going to concerts/rock shows - Motorcycles

Hates: - Spring and Winter - Unnecessary arguments/debates - People who refuse to educate themselves - Lazy Students - Grading paper work - People who don’t know how to drive - Demonic/Evil Spirits - Pepsi ((He’s a Coke-a-cola person)) - Alcohol ((And Drunk people. If you are drunk he won’t even try and talk to you))

Hobbies: - Reading - Writing ((He’s written many books about religious study books)) - Exploring the unknown ((He breaks your modern Indiana Jones tbh lmao)) - Providing Exorcisms/religious healing/cleanings - Working out/staying fit - Researching religions and mythology

Hopes/Dreams: - WORLD PEACE - That everyone can be happy and treated equally - To destroy every demonic/evil spirit - To have a child one day, just one. Doesn’t matter if it’s a boy or a girl he’ll love them the same. - To be recognized worldwide for his work and struggles.

Fears/Nightmares: - Losing Sage ((In any way. Like if she’s killed or if she leaves him etc etc.)) - Becoming possessed and harming people. - The Devil/Lucifer/Satan - Demonic spirits ((He’s always afraid of them even if he’d confronted by them)) - Heights/Being up high - The ocean

Best Quality: - Vanderlinde is a very mild-mannered person. It’s hard to piss him off, he’s very calm and collective and has incredible control over his emotions. People often describe him with a “healing” personality and an “open mind.” Greatest Flaw: - He lets his fears control him. Too often he runs away from things that quiet literally scare him. He is not a fighter and doesn’t enjoy fighting, he’d rather run away defend himself or those around him. This often leads people to say he is cowardly. How does the character picture himself/herself? - Vanderlinde sees himself as a weak softy who can’t win a single physically fight. He doesn’t have a lot of self-confidence so he doubts himself and his skills way too much. He thinks he a push-over that anyone could walk all over. How do others see him/her? - Many people view Vanderlinde as an incredibly intelligent and kind professor who cares about his student’s education more than anything in the world. ((Next to his love for Sage)) People describe him as a very kind and loving person with a big heart.

Most valued possession: - His rosary, he carries it with him always. It was a gift to him from a priest that change his views on Christianity and other religions.

Is he/she motivated by possibility or necessity? - Necessity. Vanderlinde knows there aren’t enough people in the world fighting the dark forces. He knows it is his duty to educate the masses about what is going on when no one is looking. How does he/she view the future and/or the past? - Vanderlinde hopes for a pretty and peaceful future, a safe world where his child can grow up without fear. What is his/her philosophy on life and death? - Vanderlinde does not fear death, he knows that he is going to Hell anyway, so he might as well enjoy his life to the fullest until that day comes. What kind of energy level do they usually have? He’s very relaxed, calm and cool. He’s known for wearing a comforting smile and using healing words to lift people up and make them feel better about themselves.

Does he/she have a temper? No. Vanderlinde has incredible control over his emotions. Even when he’s pissed off he’s still nice, happy, and trying his best to please others.

Polite or rude? Polite Stingy or generous? Generous Leader or a follower? Leader More happy by themselves or in a group? By himself What is his/her sexual preference/experience/values? - Vanderlinde is a straight monogamous male. He’s experimented before here and there but he prefers women for the most part. He is very private about his sex life and gets very uncomfortable when people talk/ask about it. -History/Background- - Vanderlinde grew up in an orphanage for wayward boys, he never knew his parents and refuses to look into them. He was born in the United States. He doesn’t want to know why or how he ended up at the orphanage. It was run by a Catholic church, where he grew up with a deep faith in the Lord. He began to question his faith when the Priest he looked up to had passed away. - Around 18 years old Vanderlinde left the orphanage and went on a soul searching journal across the United State. He was homeless during this time as he traveled cross country, drinking, doing drugs and learning about all different types of faith. When he turned 20 he turned back to the Church and became a priest for the next five years. - He met Sage when he was 25, she was 20 at the time. Because she was a pagan witch, Vanderlinde was punished for getting himself involved with her. At the same time, he also got in trouble for researching other religions other than Christianity. He chose to renounce his priesthood and left the church because he did not agree with their rules. After that, Vanderlinde worked towards becoming a professor at the local university where he could freely research and teach others - After he fell in love with Sage, Vanderlinde joined her secret society, more than happy to join a cause he believed in and was willing to fight for.

((Again, there is so much more to Vanderlinde’s back story but Im just so tired and I wanted to quickly summarize the 20 pages I have for these two dorks.))

[trauma-13]

You know the drill. All them asks. 😈 (is this deja vu?)

You got it dude!! (It is...cause I fucked up 😂)

The meaning behind my url:

Trauma because it's my favorite area of nursing.

Princess because I'm a fuckin princess.

93 because the year I was born.

A picture of me:

If you look hard enough you'll find one on here. Also my icon is me soooo.

How many tattoos i have and what they are:

Oh good lord. I have quite a few....

1. Mom's last name on my left wrist.

2. Flowers on my right foot.

3. Tribal-ish heart my brother drew on the back on my neck.

4. Walt Disneys signature on my left foot.

5. Mickey and Minnie behind my ears.

6. A prior dogs paw print on my left ankle.

7. A dandelion on my right shoulder blade with music notes.

8. My dog, Axel, paw prints on my collar bones.

9. A moon on my right ankle.

10. A semi colon on my right wrist (ulnar side)

11. A arrow on my right wrist (radial side)

12. A humming bird on my right forearm.

I think that's it... for now...

Last time i cried and why:

I dunno, honestly. I cry frequently hahah

Piercings i have:

Labret/Monroe

Ears gauged to a 00.

Traugus both sides

Right sided daith.

Nipples.

Favorite band:

Sooo many. Currently imagine dragons.

Biggest turn offs:

Bad hygiene, liars, cheats, narcacists.

Top 5 (insert subject):

???

Tattoos i want:

Too many to list, honestly.

Biggest turn ons:

I'm a big physical touch person, so basically anything where I'm being touched.

Age:

26

Ideas of a perfect date:

Doing something totally new that neither of us has experienced.

Life goal:

Pediatric ICU trauma nurse, be a mom, be a good wife.

Piercings i want:

Maybe my left daith. Probably a 2nd lobe hole.

Relationship status:

Very happily engaged.

Favorite movie:

Steel magnolias (the old one), Moana, Mean Girls.

A fact about my life:

I'm a nurse, I work in the ER and medsurg/tele, I have 2 doggos, and 2 kittens, I'm practically married at this point, I live on the surface of the sun.

Phobia:

Spiders, failure.

Middle name:

I'ma pass on telling the world that.

Height:

5'6" with shoes on.

Are you a virgin?

Naaah.

What’s your shoe size?

Between 9-10 depends on the shoe and brand.

What’s your sexual orientation?

I am bisexual, however I'm in a heterosexual relationship.

Do you smoke, drink, or take any drugs?

Drink yes, no to the others.

Someone you miss

@car-one-responding

What’s one thing you regret?

Suffering in an abusive relationship because I didn't think I had a way out.

First celebrity you think of when someone says attractive:

Chris Evans.

Favorite ice cream?

I'm honestly not a big ice cream person, but we have some delicious basil-lime sorbet from a local store that I'm obsessed with.

One insecurity:

Weight.

What my last text message says:

"I re sent it. Just delete the other one I guess? Lol" from @car-one-responding in reference to this cause I done FUCKED IT UP.

Have you ever taken a picture naked?

Mmmmhhhhhmmmmm.

Have you ever painted your room?

Not recently at all, but as a kid yeah.

Have you ever kissed a member of the same sex?

Yep, couple times.

Have you ever slept naked?

I usually do.

Have you ever danced in front of your mirror?

Almost every day hahah

Have you ever had a crush?

Duuuh, who hasn't hah

Have you ever been dumped?

Aldo duuuh.

Have you ever stole money from a friend?

Nope. I'm a very honest person.

Have you ever gotten in a car with people you just met?

Hmm. Probably.

Have you ever been in a fist fight?

Does patients attacking count?? I didn't punch, but I got punched.

Have you ever snuck out of your house?

Yep.

Have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back?

I think just about everyone has.

Have you ever been arrested?

No. Im from a tiny Town where my dad was a cop, mom was a nurse. So everyone knew me.

Have you ever made out with a stranger?

No I don't think so.

Have you ever met up with a member of the opposite sex somewhere?

Like...in a sexual way? Or like hung out? If so yes to both hah

Have you ever left your house without telling your parents?

Yeah, however I'm a pretty open person. I usually tell my mom where Im going. She raised me as a single mom, and I had a lot of freedom as long as I was open and honest with her. That's just transferred into adulthood.

Have you ever had a crush on your neighbor?

No. But I purposely became friends with an old neighbor cause he had a cute ass dog named Max.

Have you ever ditched school to do something more fun?

Yep. Got busted too haha

Have you ever slept in a bed with a member of the same sex?

Uh huh! It's called sleep overs, duh aha

Have you ever seen someone die?

Unfortunately, that's part of my job. Not everyone gets saved in the ER. Plus in the hospital where I work there is a very large group who has very strict rules about death, so frequently we admit people to die either to the floor if we suspect it'll be a couple days, or the ER if we think it'll be quick. Death can be a beautiful process, or it can be horrific, and traumatizing...just depends how ya look at it.

Have you ever been on a plane?

Yeah quite a few times!!

Have you ever kissed a picture?

Honestly what little girl didn't kiss a picture of Leonardo DeCaprio...

Have you ever slept in until 3?

Bro I'm a mid/nightshifter. Weird sleep schedules are my life.

Have you ever loved someone or miss someone right now?

Weirdly worded question. But yes I have loved, yes I do miss people.

Have you ever laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by?

Yes!! It's one of my favorites. I also love to watch the stars.

Have you ever made a snow angel?

Yeah!!! It's super fun!!

Have you ever played dress up?

Yeah!!

Have you ever cheated while playing a game?

Queen of attempting to cheat at games and failing miserably 🙋‍♀️

Have you ever been lonely?

Mhmm. Side affects of working away from my family.

Have you ever fallen asleep at work/school?

I'm forever sleepy, so yeah.

Have you ever been to a club?

Yeah couple times!

Have you ever felt an earthquake?

Once as a kid. I don't remember much of it besides it waking me up, and I woke up my mom because I didn't know what it was. I was maybe 7?

Have you ever touched a snake?

I love snakes. They're such cool animals.

Have you ever ran a red light?

That may or may not be why I didn't have a drivers license for 3 yrs.

Have you ever been suspended from school?

Nope 😏 I did get temporarily kicked out of nursing school and fought my way back in though. That's a tale for another time.

Have you ever had detention?

Once, for chewing gum.

Have you ever been in a car accident?

Yeah, nothing serious though. *knocks on all the wood*

Have you ever hated the way you look?

I feel like everyone has, unfortunately.

Have you ever witnessed a crime?

1. I live where I live, it's a regular occurrence. We don't carry a gun for no reason.

2. Used to work in the heart of the ghetto.

3. Used to live 5 mins from there.

Safe to say I've seen a crime or two.

Have you ever pole danced?

One drunken Halloween, yes.

Have you ever been lost?

Physically not emotionally? Yes to both haha

Have you ever been to the opposite side of the country?

I have yeah!!

Have you ever felt like dying?

Yeah, on quite a few occasions I don't talk about.

Have you ever cried yourself to sleep?

Yep.

Have you ever sang karaoke?

Again, drunken Halloweens.

Have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn’t?

Im sure I have.

Have you ever laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose?

Yes I have, it's not fun.

Have you ever slept with someone at least 5 years older or younger?

Hmm.....I don't actually think so.

Have you ever kissed in the rain?

Yes!!

Have you ever sang in the shower?

Every single time.

Have you ever made out in a park?

Mhmm!

Have you ever dream that you married someone?

Yes, and I'm marrying him in a little over a month.

Have you ever glued your hand to something?

My other hand hahah

Have you ever got your tongue stuck to a flag pole?

No..but not for lack of trying.

Have you ever gone to school partially naked?

Uh, no haha

Have you ever been a cheerleader?

Nah, I was a band geek.

Have you ever sat on a roof top?

Yes, it's a great time.

Have you ever brushed your teeth?

I want to say "who hasn't" but we all know there's those people who haven't...

Have you ever been too scared to watch scary movies alone?

Sometimes, yes.

Have you ever played chicken?

Not huh.

Have you ever been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?

Probably so.

Have you ever been told you’re hot by a complete stranger?

Yep.

Have you ever broken a bone?

A few yeah. My nose, jaw in 3 places, my tail bone, my ankle.

Have you ever been easily amused?

Have you met me....

Have you ever laughed so hard you cried?

Like 45 mins ago hahah

Have you ever mooned/flashed someone?

Yep, regularly occurs in my house.

Have you ever cheated on a test?

Probably way back in the day, but I don't remember anything specific. I'm a pretty honestly person, so if I don't know it, then oh well.

Have you ever forgotten someone’s name?

Every fucking day of my life!

Have you ever met someone who didn’t seem real?

Not quite sure...?

Give us one thing about you that no one knows.

Once upon a time, I was like 13 or 14. I was hanging out with my mom while she cooked dinner and eating a carrot. I suddenly sneezed. I then had a carrot chunk stuck in my sinuses. I could feel it, but mom didn't believe me. So for 3 days straight I blew my nose constantly. And I finally got the carrot chunk out.

[be-more-chill-evan-hansen]

Holiday fic

I know that a lot of characters don’t have canon religion, and I also know that it’s a possibility of either being Jewish or just not celebrating Christmas, so I am writing a fic that’s more for the holiday season that Christmas. As a Christian, I have come to acknowledge that Christmas didn’t even belong to Christians to begin with (it originated with Pagans celebrating the winter solstice and was practiced before the birth of Jesus and Jesus wasn't born in winter) so when I celebrate Christmas, I celebrate as a time to spend with family and friends (and I get gifts so...) and not as Jesus’ birthday, so when I write this, I am writing this as them trading gifts and spending time together. I don’t think it’s best to describe this as a “Christmas fic” since the characters are very diverse, so “Holiday Fic” seems more fitting.

Please let me know what you think.

This story is featuring, or at least mentioning, all of my OCs, and I had to update my Tumblr OC list because I forgot that my descriptions for Damien and Rich were on AO3 first and I had forgotten how I described them and had to fix it so here is the 100% accurate updated version. And I tried adding as many characters as I could, but it’s so hard and I was under pressure, so please don’t hate me. I am ageing the characters up to 18+ for reasons. And I made Dragon Fly (me essentially) Albert’s cousin because I can bend canon however I want.

It sucks, and it’s everywhere, but I wanted to get something out for the holidays. And I added a surprise at the end so you would hate me less. Please bear with me.

Featured ships: Relmer (I had to); Spalbert (for Alexa); Jatherine (they’re cute and they’re both raging bisexuals fight me); Blush; Finch/Buttons

Era: Modern

Warnings: none

Word count: 1315 (I think that’s a record)

Also, I’ve been struggling with this for a week. Please go easy on me.

~~~~

Jack was grateful that Jacobi let them rent the place out for the annual Holiday Party Extravaganza. They picked a day and time in December that worked for everyone’s schedule and did “Secret Santa” so everyone would get a gift. Usually, the party was at Jack’s house, but the group grew over the year, and his tiny apartment would not be able to hold everyone.

Everyone helped to move tables so the center of the floor would be cleared. Race hooked up his phone to a loudspeaker, courtesy of Albert, and played showtunes to “set the mood” for the party. Everyone dropped the presents they brought on the counter.

“Can I get everyone’s attention?” Jack was standing in the middle of the room. “First, I would like to thank Jacobi for letting us use his place to have our party.” He waited for everyone to quiet down before continuing. “I would also like to thank our new friends who joined the group this year. Hopefully we haven’t weirded you out too much.” He looked at everyone in the room. “And thank you guys for making this year the best.”

“Encore!” Sarah yelled.

Jack rolled his eyes and walked back to Katherine and kissed her cheek. “I’m excited. This is the biggest party we’ve had.”

“Yeah,” Katherine agreed. “It was nice for Jacobi to let us have it here.”

Davey joined the two and brought them both a cup of punch. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen this many people in a room together before.”

“Same here,” Jack said. “I just hope that it doesn’t go horribly and end with Jacobi banning us.”

“Jacobi will never ban us.” Katherine laughed at her boyfriend. “He loves us.” She pointed to the table with Race, Elmer, Spot, and Albert. “They’re acting like it’s a double date.”

“Leave them alone,” Davey joked. “Let them have fun. It’s a party.”

Spot wrapped his arm around Albert’s shoulders. “I feel like this party will be the best one yet.”

Albert looked at his boyfriend. “And why is that?”

“I don’t know. Just a thought.”

“Just a thought?” Race asked. “That’s the lamest thing I’ve ever heard come out of your mouth.”

Spot mocked laughter. “It’s not as lame as your life.”

Race pretended to be offended. “I know my life is lame, but hey!”

.

Romeo turned to August. "Have you ever thought about dyeing your hair?"

August shrugged their shoulders. "I never thought about it. I don't know what color would look okay."

"I think any color would suit you."

"Really?" August asked. "I don't think I would look good with any color. Green wouldn’t look good at all."

Romeo laughed. "Not green. Maybe something pastel, like lavender or a pale blue."

"Lavender? Really?"

"Yeah."

"I can see it," a voice said from behind Romeo. Mush looked over the booth at August.

"What are you doing, Mush?" Romeo asked.

"Listening to you guys obliviously flirting with each other." He had a smirk on his face.

"We aren't flirting," August said. "Please leave."

"Kay." Mush walked off laughing and went to find Kid Blink. When he found him, he wrapped his arms around his waist from behind. "Are you enjoying yourself?"

"Yeah." Kid Blink turned around and kissed his boyfriend on the top of his head. "Go have fun. It's a party."

"Says the person sulking in the corner."

"I am not sulking. I am brooding. There's a difference."

"Brooding?" Mush asked. "What are you? Batman?"

"Funny."

"RACE AND ELMER ARE UNDER THE MISTLETOE!" Smalls yelled.

Race and Elmer quickly shared a kiss, which was over as soon as it started. It caused some of the others to boo.

"That was boring!" Romeo yelled.

"Where was the passion?" River asked.

"My dead grandma kisses hotter than that!" Finch called out from the other side of the room. 

"Grow up, guys," Race said. He and Elmer sat back down with Spot and Albert. “Hey, Albert. I know that your cousin prefers to go by her nickname, but what’s her real name?”

Albert leaned in very slowly, trying to reach Race’s ear. When Race moved his ear, closer, Albert blew into it. “I’m not telling you.”

“You’re boring,” Race said, trying to get rid of the uncomfortable feeling of Albert’s warm breath in his ear.

.

Dragon Fly was in the corner with Katherine and Sarah, updating each other about their lives.

"How’s college, Dragon Fly?" Katherine asked. "I know that you're going for writing."

Dragon Fly quickly pulled her cup up to her mouth. "It's...college." She took a long sip from her punch. "God, college makes me want to become an alcoholic.”

Sarah held her cup out. “I’ll cheer to that.”

Liberty passed by them. “I will cheer to that as well.”

“Do you even know what we’re cheering to?” Katherine asked.

“No,” Liberty said. “But, I heard Sarah say she was cheering to something and I didn’t want to be alone.”

Dragon Fly pointed to Max, Damien, and Rich in the corner. “Go talk to them. They look really bored.”

Liberty groaned. “Fine.”

“Time for presents!” Jack called. He passed out the gifts to everyone and sat next to Katherine. “This may be our best party ever.”

She smiled at him. “I may have to agree with you on that.”

“Who got me an empty box?” Finch asked loudly. 

“You haven’t even opened it,” Buttons replied.

“It weighs nothing.” Finch shook the box in his boyfriend’s face. “Nothing.” 

“If you’re so sure it’s nothing, then open it.”

Finch rolled his eyes and ripped the wrapping paper. He opened the box and looked inside. “There’s an envelope taped to the bottom.” He pulled the envelope out and turned it over. He found text and read it to himself. “I know we’ve been dating for five years, but I just want to say....” He opened the envelope and pulled out a piece of paper. When he opened it, glitter fell into his lap. He read the paper. “The amount of time we’ve been dating isn’t important to this gift. I just wanted to mislead you into opening a glitter bomb. I love you.” He turned to Buttons. “Cute. Where’s my real gift?”

Buttons smiled. “Behind the counter. I’ll go get it.”

“That was the best fake gift I’ve ever seen,” Henry said. 

“You’re telling me,” Sniper replied.

“Hey, Finch,” Buttons said, “I need you back here real quick. You’re present is too big to move by myself.”

Finch got up, brushed glitter off of himself, and walked to where Buttons was. When he walked behind the counter, he stopped. “Buttons?”

Buttons was on the floor behind the counter, kneeling with a ring in his hand. “Finch, I know that we’re only 21, but from the first moment I met you, I knew that you were the perfect person for me. I’ve been trying for the past few months, but I couldn't find the right time. When I drew your name for Secret Santa, I knew that this was a sign. I knew that it was meant to be now. Just like I knew that we would be together. You are my best friend, my life, and my soulmate. I love you so much. Will you, Patrick Cortes, do me the honor of marrying me?”

Finch stood speechless. He was frozen with his hand over his mouth. “Is this for real?”

“It’s as real as the glitter that will not wash off for the rest of your life.”

Finch let out a small laugh, trying to hold back tears. “Yes.” He let Buttons slide the ring onto his finger and hugged him tightly. “You’ve always been dramatic.”

Mush grabbed the mistletoe and held it over Finch and Buttons. “You have to kiss now!”

Buttons pulled Finch into a kiss and rested his forehead on Finch’s. “If you thought this was dramatic, wait for the wedding.”

~~~~

I needed something cute and I was like “huh, maybe a Secret Santa proposal would be cute” so I did it and I hope it makes up for the crappiness. Thanks for reading. 

TAG LIST (message/inbox me if you want to be added):

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@galaxy-trees13

@disasterbisexualhere

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@suddenly-im-respecsable

[11-11-screenshots]

i’m a little gay

my mom took me to a special rally when i was real young, where prolife signs were held and christian hymns were sung, and my mother pointed at the opposer two woman holding hands, saying “anybody who likes the same sex is sure to hell be damned”.

i nodded my head and knew id never come out because even as a child i knew what i was all about.

10 years old- i cried myself to sleep. id look at pictures of woman and touch under the sheets. and i never got caught but i kind of wanted them to find, me doing such a thing so they could punish my sinful mind.

But as the church told me- there was no such thing as gay, just sinful same-sex thoughts thats sometimes ran astray.

but the more that i tried to block it out, the more i felt sick, i looked at vag on the web, but never once looked at a dick.

i hated myself more for what i had slowly became, a horny teenage girl with pussy on the brain.

i melted when a girl touched me or even smiled my way, i crushed on girls so much in school- still refused to call myself gay.

And junior year of high school i met this beautiful girl, her hair a blanket of darkness and her lips and so utterly kissable. and i told her i was straight but one day in the park, our hands slid down each other and our lips trailed off after dark.

I fell in love more as i saught her eyes every day, the more i felt for her the more i admitted i was gay. anything for her i would gladly kiss her feet, i walked 4 miles everyday once summer to bring her food to eat. i would kiss her and hug her and hold her in the night, softly saying  “one day you’ll be my beautiful wife.”

yes i was so convinced i put my cares aside, for her i was no longer afraid to sheepishly hide. so i strung up all my nerves and took them to my mother, with heart above my head stupidity more than the other….

this day we were driving home from alfonso’s bridal, i had just received my prom dress both of us were all smiles. and there i said, mom- i like woman- like men-  maybe even moreso, I’ve known this for quite a while but was just scared for you to know.

silence filled the room and my confidence dropped fast, her face was grave the air was thick and i knew this was the last.

She was confused at first but within minutes she drew back her hand and slapped me, she said, “you are not a daughter, no christian girl to me…”

“You are absolutely nothing to me.” she pushed me out of the car so she could back-out and leave…

she didn’t call me back or acknowledge my existence since there, she didn't respond to my texts for over a year. still even then the fact that she disowned because cause I’m gay- says how much she loved me in the very first place…

at least i had my darling, my sweetheart back at home, at least i had her soft kisses to remind me i was not alone. her “i love you’s” and her romantic poems, the way she talked to bees or drunk called me on the phone.

But only weeks later, this boy approached me confidently, he said, “you know your girl s’been smoking weed and fucking me.” so i approached her calmly and asked her if it was true, she said yeah we are but its fine- like I’m not “dating you” my blood disappeared from my veins and all of a sudden i was dizzy, “of course” how stupid, to think that she would ever love me…

i went home that night and cried for about two weeks. i regurgitated tears like i regurgitated sleep. and i wondered where i went wrong wearing her pendant of heart shaped beans, i wondered where i went wrong- i smelled her perfume in my dreams. and she dated this boy shortly after and they’re still together, sometimes she still texts me to tell me about him or check up on the weather.

But what shell never know is that i loved her, i would give up my family as i did whatever i would be and was for her- i would lose it all just to be close to the one i love, but unlike her to me, well for her- i was not enough.

Im bisexual, i can proudly say. if nothing else she helped me realize to live each and every day. don’t worry about others and be true to yourself, because I’m a little gay and i don’t need any help.

I’m a little gay and a lot of people are, its just another preference like a flavor or type of car. And when you’re a little different and cause people to drop to the side, it clears your way to know in whom you can confide.

And unfortunately for me that was half my friends and family,

but fortunate for me theres nothing if rather be.

the more you grow up- you’ll meet people just like you, you realize environment is everything and its all up to you.

it will get better i promise you because i never thought it would for me,

but without all the storms my rainbow wouldn't have showed this brightly.

I’m a little heartbroken queer, and thats perfectly okay,

because with everything that has happened, i wouldn’t have it any other way.