#i doubt this special will be revolutionary by any means but it's just exciting to see these actresses after so long | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

kamilah-the-bloodqueen · 4 years ago

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The Cafe Pt.2 (Rewritten Barista)

OMG I’m back with the shitty Kamilah fanfiction! I haven’t written for a while - let alone for this series since I took a writing hiatus to focus on my classes so hopefully there aren’t any plot holes and the fic doesn’t suck ass. I’m slowly getting back into my writing but I still have finals (Up until next April 28) but after finals I will be writing more consistently and will finish my current series and WIPs (I will post my WIPs list soon so I can hold myself accountable and also keep track of what I need to work on).

Pairing: Kamilah x MC (Amy)

Word Count: 3682 words (I am trying to write longer fics but I prefer quality > length so I will post when the chapter feel right however I aim for this series chapters to be between 3500-4500 words each)

Taglist: (I know it’s been a while so if you’d like to be removed from the taglist just let me know - I promise it won’t hurt my feelings that being said if you’d like to be added to the taglist for just this series, my Kamilah x MC taglist or my perma tag - please let me know I’ll be happy to add you if I remember to even tag) @samanthadalton @beautifulandorganized @cloud9in @kwaj115 @hellyeah90sbaby @shows-simp-card @witchesplayatnight

Part I

“It’s...sweet and comforting,” her voice was soft as she spoke, Amy’s cheeks turning very red, “like you.”

Amy felt on cloud nine, her eyes glued to Kamilah as she watched her walk to her car and speed away like some rich movie character. Amy closed her eyes, replaying the entire scene over and over until the soft jingle of the bell startled her. Zig walked in, his shoulders drooped low as he carried a large duffel bag in his hand as his backpack slung over his shoulder.

“You look like shit Zig.” Amy jested before walking to him and taking the duffel bag from him, both of them laughing lightly.

“I guess the tides have changed since we went to Hartfeld yeah?” Amy snickered at Zig’s comment, recalling the time she and her friends had gotten so wasted they streaked through the quad only to be caught by the dean on their way back.

“I assume you’re leaving after your shift?” Amy placed his bag down and tossed him his apron, both of them moving to the front counter as Zig examined the cafe.

“Yeah, we aren’t technically leaving until tomorrow morning but Kaitlyn wanted to run over some of the more technical things with us. I could probably convince them to let you come, you’d definitely spice things up.” Zig waved his hands in the air and stuck his tongue out as Amy tried to glare at him, before breaking into laughter.

“And who would watch the cafe? The pigeons? Lily?”

“You’re right, I still feel bad about leaving on such short notice-”

“I’ve got this Zig, trust.” Amy held her head proud as Zig rolled his eyes, making sure Amy saw him. “Jerk.” She nudged his shoulder as a tall handsome man walked in, it took Amy and Zig a moment to realize who he was as he adjusted his tie.

“Adrian Raines? CEO of Raine’s corporations?” Zig’s head perked up as he approached the register, his suit was a steel grey, his hair a dark brown that resembled a fresh cup of coffee and his smile was so comforting and infectious Amy couldn’t help but smile at him.

“You must be Zig,” Adrian reached a hand forward, his teeth were so perfect, so straight and white he could have been in a toothpaste commercial, “and you must be Amy. Kamilah recommended this place. More specifically she recommended your special coffee. I had to come see for myself - she said if she had ordered one for me, it wouldn’t have made it to my office.” His voice was soothing, comforting and satisfying - Amy wanted him to read a bedtime story to her.

Amy’s eyes widened as she felt butterflies in her stomach, her palms growing sweaty as she smiled back at Adrian, his deep brown eyes very similar to Kamilah’s without the intensity. Zig gently tapped her shoulder, nodding towards the coffee machine as he rang Adrian’s drink up.

“Oh! Right!” Amy hustled, she was excited that she had two major CEOs trying her special coffee, it was a subtle flex that she found satisfaction in. She leaned back on the counter as the coffee slowly spilled out of the brewer, the strong smell prompting Adrian to turn for a moment before continuing the conversation with Zig. Amy took a moment to take him in, after all, not everyone gets to be within such a close proximity to a major CEO. Amy hadn’t noticed how muscular he was, his posture was so irritatingly straight, his hands were smaller than she expected and she tried not to laugh upon that discovery. His hair was slickly combed back, and his eyelashes were longer than Amy’s and his body complex was just muscular enough to be seen through the curves of his suit but not so muscular as to resemble Dwayne Johnson.

“This is a solid set up you’ve got for yourself Zig, you should be proud.” Adrian adjusted his tie to be straighter as Zig rolled his shoulders back with a proud smile on his face.

“It took a lot of work but it’s...something I have wanted since college. I’m sure you understand that feeling since you do run one of the leading technology companies in the world, not even just the United States.” Zig folded his hands into his arms as Adrian turned with a soft gaze, a twinkle in his eyes that Amy couldn’t quite put a pin on.

“Well I’ve had years to grow and create a base for myself, with the connections I have in other industries it was really only a matter of money and finding the right people to work with me.”

“How long did it take you?” Amy finished his coffee off with a generous serving of caramel and stirred it gently as Adrian blinked at her.

“A long time, I’m much older than I look.” He laughed and Amy couldn’t help but question why he was so vague, he was only 28 years old according to google.

“You don’t look a day over 22.” Zig interjected as Adrian and Amy held each other’s gaze, Amy couldn’t help but question his eyes, there was something he wasn’t letting on and she could feel it in her stomach. She handed him the coffee and watched his expression change as the warm liquid met his lips.

“I can see why Kamilah was so intrigued, this has to be one of the best drinks I’ve ever had.” Adrian’s phone rang with drumming that sounded like it was from a revolutionary war movie.

“Strange ringtone.” Amy remarked prompting Adrian to smile and shake his head.

“I love the revolutionary war, the fight for freedom will always be an admirable one.” He smiled at Amy before turning to Zig, “I need to head back to my office but I’ll be sure to invest in this cafe of yours, and for you Amy. Thank you.” He reached into his pocket and handed Amy what appeared to be $300.

“No wait it was just a cup of coffee!” Amy tried to shove the money back into his hand but Adrian had already dashed out of the door, leaving Zig stunned with a smile and Amy baffled. “What the fuck. I will never understand rich people Zig.”

“I mean hey, it’s a good tip and you need the money Amy. Now, about you watching the cafe, are you really sure you can handle it alone? It’s a tall order.” Zig furrowed his brows as he scanned the empty cafe, his hand reassuringly placed on Amy’s shoulder.

“It would actually be a venti order, but I’m sure. You need a break buddy, I can see it in your eyes and you should be there for Kaitlyn and her band.” Amy placed her hand over Zig’s as two women walked through the cafe doors.

“Alright then, now let’s finish the day.” Zig returned to the register as Amy began fixing the women’s orders.

The day passed by slower than usual, Amy kept replaying her interactions with Adrian over in her mind, with Kamilah’s earlier remark fading as Amy questioned Adrian’s shadiness.

“That could not have gone by slower.” Zig let out a long sigh and Amy watched the tension leave his broad shoulders as he locked the front door. “After today I don’t have any more doubts about that trip, I need a break.”

“That’s all I’ve been saying dumbass, go on. You need to pack and I can clean up here tonight.” Amy joked as Zig looked around nervously.

“Amy this place is a mess, we were so much busier. I can’t leave you to do this by yourself.” Zig reached for the disinfectant wipes as Amy smacked his hand.

“Get out of here and go pack or you’re straight.” Amy wiggled her brows at Zig who took a step back.

“Oh fuck off. All the tips from today are yours though. You take all the tips or you’re a vampire lover.” Zig winked at Amy who rolled her eyes and pointed towards the door. Zig stopped and patted her shoulder on his way out.

“Thank you so much Amy. I’m glad you’re working here and I’m glad we were able to reconnect.” Zig and Amy shared a nod in silence before Zig left the messy cafe to Amy.

“Now it’s just me I guess. Time to play some music.” Amy smiled and pulled her speaker out of her backpack, putting “Sit Next to Me” by Foster the People on and showly shaking her torso to the beat. She held the broom in her hands and started sweeping to the beat of the song, her head shaking to the rhythm as she sang her heart out. She finished sweeping the floor and began washing the blenders and wiping down the counters, stopping every five minutes to dance to the chorus of whatever upbeat song was playing.

“She wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts. She’s cheer captain and I’m-” Amy swung her hips around, the washcloth in her hands flying through the air as she swayed her head back and forth like a teenage girl.

“On the bleachers, dreaming bout the day when you wake up and find that what you’re looking for has been here the whole time.”

Amy froze like a deer in headlights as she turned to see where the voice came from - Kamilah was standing in the doorway with her arms crossed and a very amused look on her face as Amy slowly lowered her arms in embarrassment.

“How much of that did you see?”

“Oh no don’t let me interrupt you, please keep going.” Kamilah smirked and Amy felt a rush of adrenaline run through her. Instead of stopping and apologizing, she found herself hitting the play button and continued singing and dancing like Kamilah wasn’t even there.

“If you could see that I’m the one who understands you! Been here all along so why can’t you seeeeeeee, you belong with meeeee!”

“Standing by and waiting at your backdoor, all this time how could you not know babyyyy? You belong with meeee.” Amy blinked as Kamilah sang with her, the woman's voice was stunning and left Amy speechless as their eyes met in the dim cafe lighting. The way Kamilah’s voice sounded in combination with the low and heated gaze she had on Amy, it felt like she was just reading her thoughts out loud. In a flash Kamilah was standing in front of Amy, their bodies so close Amy could feel the woman’s warmth and smell her sweet scent as the music faded and Amy lost herself in Kamilah’s brown eyes.

“You belong with me. Have you ever thought...just...maybe...” Kamilah’s voice slowed from a singing tone to a low whisper, she leaned close as the song came to its end, Amy couldn’t help but sing back to her.

“You belong with me?” She knew it came out shakily, the subtle smirk on Kamilah’s face said it all as they stayed locked in the moment. Amy knew they weren’t just singing to Taylor Swift’s new album, it was unspoken words between the two of them that neither had the courage to previously say. Amy felt her heart speed up, her palms growing sweaty as she waited to see if Kamilah would sing back to her or not.

“You belong with me.” Kamilah leaned forward to kiss Amy, both of their eyes fluttering shut as the music stopped and time came to a slow. Amy wrapped her arms around the woman’s shoulders as their lips almost met, before Amy’s ringtone blared from her backpack causing Kamilah and Amy to jolt apart.

Amy rushed over to check the call, scanning the screen and reading Lily’s name made her less annoyed that her almost kiss was interrupted, but still not happy.

“Hey Lil what’s up? Oh yeah, I’m sorry I let Zig get out early so he could pack so I’m not gonna be home til late tonight. I’m so sorry. Yeah. Oh that’s good, I’m glad! You can def tell me about it later. Yeah? Oh yes I gotcha, I’ll venmo you for the rent once I hang up. Yeah okay goodnight Lil.”

Amy hung up the phone and opened her venmo, sending Lily the $550 for rent, completely ignoring the fact Kamilah had made her way close to her again. As soon as she put her phone back in her bag, Kamilah turned her back around to face her, the woman’s eyes sparkling in the soft lighting that surrounded them.

“Kamilah, how did you get in here? We’re technically closed and Zig-” Amy was silenced by Kamilah dangling what appeared to be a copy of the cafe key.

“I helped Zig fund this cafe, I can come and go as I please, I just prefer to make his life easy and stay out of his way. He said you might’ve needed help cleaning up tonight since you let him go, so I came to help you clean, but instead I found you giving a world tour with no audience.”

Amy felt a blush crawl up her face, her heart pounding so loudly it rang in her ears as she felt Kamilah’s hand on her arm. She pulled her eyes away from Kamilah’s, unsure of if it was because she was embarrassed, scared, flustered or a combination of all three. Kamilah gently placed her index finger under the girl’s chin, softly pulling her to meet her gaze as she spoke slowly.

“You don’t have to kiss me Amy,” her voice was comforting and lacked the iciness it usually carried, “just say the word and I won’t come to the cafe while you’re here alone.”

“Kamilah...I...it’s not that...it’s just...” Amy stuttered but leaned forward, unable to reach Kamilah’s lips because of her height. Kamilah leaned down, tracing her index finger over Amy’s throat as their lips softly met. Kamilah slowly took Amy’s lower lip in her mouth, sucking on it and prompting a soft moan to escape Amy’s mouth as she draped herself into Kamilah’s arms. Minutes passed by as their mouths remained locked together, only pulling apart so they could finish cleaning.

“Come on Amy, let’s get this place clean so you can get home.” Kamilah picked up the roll of paper towels and began drying the blenders and stacking them neatly to Amy’s surprise. Kamilah was a powerhouse, which was something Amy had expected from her since she radiated power like a goddess, but it was her ability to clean so damn thoroughly that confused Amy.

“Kamilah?”

“Yes?”

“I don’t want to sound rude or anything but-”

“How did I learn to clean so well for an extremely rich person?”

“Yeah.”

“I wasn’t always this wealthy, and I still prefer to clean my own penthouse since there’s certain ways I like my things placed and kept. The safest hands are our own and I like to be self reliant. Cleaning also makes me feel quite liberated and I keep valuable artifacts in my home that I wouldn’t feel comfortable letting anyone else touch.”

“Oh, that makes a lot of sense. Thank you.” Amy spoke softly as she wiped the last chair down and stacked it. She turned as Kamilah slid her blazer back on and leaned against the door. Amy slung her backpack over her shoulder and grabbed the leftover pastries from the counter but stopped on her way out as she noticed Kamilah waiting for her by the door.

“You don’t have to walk me home Kamilah.”

“It’s 1 am in New York. I wouldn’t let anyone walk home alone at this time, besides it’s safer and I don’t think Zig would forgive me if something happened to you.” Kamilah lowered her voice to a faint whisper that Amy could barely make out. “And I couldn’t forgive myself if I let something happen to you either.”

Amy felt sparks up her body as she let Kamilah hold the cafe door open for her, before they both turned to lock it.

“Well I’ll let you do that since you’re running this place for the next week.” Kamilah took a step back as Amy shakily locked the cafe up, letting out a relieved sigh. She started walking and felt comforted knowing Kamilah was with her, because she didn’t want to walk home alone in the dark despite her earlier remarks. They walked in silence, Kamilah staying close to Amy as they passed by the food bank, Amy tensing as she passed by the same alley that had haunted her ever since she saw glowing eyes that one time. She hastily made her way into the food bank, dropping the bag off with the receptionist and hurrying out the door to get back before anything else could freak her out.

“Kamilah, how do you know Adrian?” Amy asked as they walked away from the food bank towards Amy’s apartment.

“I handle Raines Corporations finances. Raines Corporation does all of their financing through Ahmanet Financial and so we’re good business partners but we found good friendship through the years.” There was something suspicious about the way Kamilah spoke, it gave Amy the same feeling when Adrian was asked about her age but she just could not put a pin on why she had this feeling. “Amy? Are you alright?”

“Oh yeah sorry, my mind went off on a tangent.” Amy stopped at the front of her apartment building, she turned to face Kamilah who basically glowed in the dark. The moonlight illuminated her features, her brown eyes shining brightly and her hair shimmering as Amy felt her breath catch in her throat. “Thanks for walking me home..not that I can’t handle myself but-”

“Of course Amy. See you tomorrow.” Kamilah smiled softly, placing a gentle kiss on Amy’s cheek before turning and disappearing into the streets, Amy sighing as she walked through the lobby, getting in the elevator and finally arriving at her apartment door.

“Hey Amy, how was work?” Lily sat up from the couch, putting her PS4 game on pause as Amy collapsed on the couch next to her.

“It was alright, I let Zig leave early so he could pack and I was cleaning and totally jamming out and Kamilah saw me but she joined me and we kissed…” Amy giggled as Lily squealed in excitement.

“OHMYGODD what was it like?” Lily perked up like a child ready for a bedtime story, her hands shaking as she waited for Amy to explain.

“Electric. God Lily I don’t even have words for it. My head was spinning and the world just fell away.” Amy swayed back and forth as Lily hugged her.

“Well maybe you’ll have a date with her soon. Oh, I made beignets tonight, they’re on the counter! Let me get you some!” Lily stood up and rushed away, returning quickly with a beautiful plate of freshly made beignets covered in powdered sugar.

“I swear you’re the best suitemate ever. Absolutely unparalleled.” Amy bit into one of the sweets, savoring the softness and sweetness of the perfect sweet treat. “God Lily this has to be your best recipe yet!”

“Girllll no way, I saw this recipe for key lime pie that I’m dying to try this week.” Lily exclaimed as she pulled up the recipe on her phone, Amy taking another beignet from the plate.

“You should go to a baking school or something Lily. Maybe open a bakery?” Amy suggested as Lily passionately explained the process of baking her favorite desserts. “Maybe you could bake for the cafe?”

“Nah, this is a hobby. I want to finalize my website for my computer business this week. But that’s a nice suggestion.” Lily stifled a yawn at the same time Amy did, both of them laughing at each other.

“Damn so we’re both two tired dumbasses. It’s 3 am...we should get some sleep.” Lily suggested as Amy realized she’d only be getting a few hours of sleep.

“You’re right. Do we have any energy drinks in the fridge though? I’m gonna need one before work.”

“Yeah I bought more redbull and monster so you can take your pick, but I’m gonna crash harder than windows so g’night Amy.” Lily shuffled to her room as Amy did the same - collapsing in her bed and savoring the few hours of sleep she was going to get.

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Amy arrived at the cafe 20 minutes before opening time, her bag in one hand and a redbull in the other as she unlocked the cafe. She put her bag down and started the opening process, the redbull slowly kicking in as the time passed by quickly. Just as she finished counting in on the register, the door jingled open and Kamilah stepped through the cafe doors.

“Good morning Amy.” She smiled at her with those perfectly straight teeth and that damn irresistible smile.

“Good morning Kamilah, here’s your coffee. Both ways.” Amy handed the cups to Kamilah, their fingers gently brushing during the exchange.

“Amy...about last night…” Kamilah spoke softly, gently, in a sweet voice that Amy never expected from her.

“Oh...did...you want to forget it?” Amy’s heart dropped, a deep pain forming in her stomach as she awaited Kamilah’s response.

“No. I...I enjoyed it a lot.” Kamilah’s tone changed from sweet and confident to a shy and lower voice - was she flustered?

“So did I...maybe...well if you have time tonight maybe we can do it again?” Amy suggested as she wiped the counter down.

“I’ll be here.” Kamilah smiled, their eyes meeting for a moment before the jingling of the door interrupted their moment. “See you later Amy.” Kamilah waved as she left the cafe.

The day passed by achingly slow, but eventually after several strange tik tok orders, a bunch of big wall street assholes and a few sweet customers the cafe was ready to close. Amy began cleaning the cafe, starting with just wiping the blenders clean as the door jingled, Amy turned and expected to see Kamilah - but it wasn’t Kamilah in the doorway.

#kamilah sayeed #kamilah x mc #mc x kamilah #bloodbound #kamilah the bloodqueen post #uhh i cant tell if i love or hate this fic #anyways so i'm going to draft remember me next but i also got a few one shot inspos #I will post remember me as soon as i can #i cannot control my creativity or inspo so i work on different wips as i get inspired for them #if that makes any sense?#like if i feel angsty i can write remember me #but if i feel fluffy or smutty then it doesnt pair well so my writing wont match #but i am going to finish these two series and then start my other AU's that i wanted to write #but expect a lot of one shots once my finals are done

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pumpkaaboo · 4 years ago

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Here's chapter 1 of the Revolutionary Girl Utena/Neon Genesis Evangelion crossover I've been working on with @nerd-dot-jpeg! It's been really fun to work on so far! Full text under the cut.

“Attention, due to the special state of emergency declared for the Toukai region and the surrounding mid-Kanto area, an evacuation has been ordered. Please proceed to your designated shelter immediately.”

Utena stretched nervously, bouncing into a lunge with her left leg forward, then her right, before standing up straight and pulling her arms to the side one at a time, relishing in the weight of her thick black jacket. She grunted with exertion, then sighed, leaning back against a nearby telephone pole. “She’s late…”

For once, the city’s streets and monstrous buildings of concrete, glass, and steel were silent. No cars honked in tune with the screaming of their drivers caught in a traffic jam, no neighbors shouted at each other from their windows, and all the speaker systems that usually blared a cacophony of arguments for why Utena needed countless products she had never heard of only repeated that same toneless message in perfect sync. Not even the pigeons were around to make noise.

“Attention,” the message looped, “Due to the special state of emergency declared…”

Utena pulled her long pink hair into a ponytail. Then she took it out. She kicked an empty soda can into the air, bouncing it between her feet. She made a game out of not letting it hit the ground, before finally sending it soaring to a perfect landing in a nearby trash can. She gave herself a moment to celebrate her shot, but the excitement faded quickly, leaving only a gnawing anxiety behind. Then she put her hair back up.

“Maybe she got delayed by the Angel… I should be out there, doing something… I came all this way to help, but I’m useless now!”

With a growl of frustration, Utena sprang back to her feet and started doing lunges again.

Suddenly, she felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end. She whipped around, and met the gaze of a girl with dark skin and long violet hair that cascaded down to her waist. Her green eyes seemed to almost glow in the afternoon light, and she stood perfectly still in the middle of the intersection, the heat distortion causing her form to waver like a mirage, a trick of the light. Something about her seemed familiar, somehow.

For some reason, she reminded Utena of a doll.

Perhaps it was the way her arms hung limply, languid, at her sides, perhaps it was her empty expression, perhaps it was the fact that Utena had been staring at her, frozen, for at least twenty seconds and she hadn’t blinked-

“Attention, due to the special state of emergency-”

Utena jumped, the announcement snapping her out of her trance. She glanced up at it, then back at the girl, who hadn’t moved. She took a step forward. “Hey-”

You need to get to an evacuation shelter, she wanted to say, it’s not safe here, but she was cut off by the sounds of a revving engine and the screeching of tires against pavement as a bright yellow car skidded to a stop in front of her, almost tipping over itself in the process.

The driver’s-side door opened, and a woman in sunglasses and a red military jacket leaned out. “Sorry to keep you waiting! Utena Tenjou, right?”

Utena blinked, then nodded. She stood on her toes, leaning to the side of the car to try and catch a glimpse of the girl again, but the intersection was empty save for the steaming tire tracks and smell of burnt rubber.

“Something wrong?”

“Nothing I just… I thought I saw someone.”

The woman followed Utena’s gaze, then shook her head. “Well, whoever it was, they must have left. I hope they get to a shelter in time… You should get in, by the way. I hate to rush you, but, well… unforeseen circumstances and all that.”

As if on cue, a thunderous boom rang out from somewhere in the distance, as a shockwave rippled across the city. Utena stumbled, catching herself on the car. “Yeah, you’re right. Sorry I had to make you come all this way at such a time… it’s rotten luck, really.”

The woman grinned. “Don’t worry about it. I’m Misato Akagi, by the way, and I’ll be your commanding officer from here on out.”

Utena nodded, climbing into the passenger’s seat and buckling her seat belt. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Ms. Akagi.”

Misato groaned. “Please, Ms. Akagi is my wife. You can call me Misato.” She took in Utena’s poorly-disguised shock and laughed as she pulled out of her “parking space”. “Let me guess: first time you’ve ever met a real live gay person, huh?”

“I- well I mean- I’d heard of- and of course there must have been some that I just didn’t know they were- but-”

“Don’t worry about it. Just treat us like you would any other couple and we’ll get along fine.”

Utena nodded. “Got it, Ms. Misato.”

“Hey, you’re getting it! By the way, I need to make a call now that I have you, but is there anything you need to say first?” Utena shook her head. “Great, this’ll just be a couple minutes.”

Utena took this as her cue to tune Misato out and stare out the window. Just over the mountains, she could see a couple of silver dots moving through the sky.

“Hey, Ritsuko, it’s me. I have the Sixth, and we’ll make it to the car shuttle train in about twenty minutes, assuming the Angel doesn’t fall right on top of us, of course. Make sure it’s ready.” Some muffled words came through the speaker, but Utena couldn’t make them out. “Of course I don’t doubt you, I just wanted to check to be safe… oh, and make sure Ohtori knows we’re on our way, too. He’s been quite vehement about making sure this one gets to HQ ASAP. Love you too, see you soon, bye!”

Misato hung up the phone with a loving sigh, her eyes taking on a relaxed softness as they returned to the road. Utena glanced at the phone, then back at Misato. “Your wife?” she asked.

“The one and only Ritsuko Akagi, the sharpest mind this side of the Andromeda galaxy. God, I love that woman.”

I can tell, thought Utena. Now that she’d had a bit of time to get accustomed to the idea of two women being… together, she could appreciate what the romance had clearly done for Misato. She fought back a pang of envy at the adoring expression on Misato’s face. Maybe someday, when I find my prince…

They drove in silence for a few minutes, barring the occasional shockwave from the battle with the Angel raging on in the distance. A blinding light cast the entire valley they were driving through into shadow, but it was gone as quickly as it came, leaving nothing but a plume of smoke behind.

Utena shifted in her seat. “I hope the pilot’s okay…”

Misato grimaced. “It’s Saionji-san this time, he’s tough, he’ll be fine,” she said, unconvincingly. The silence, which before had been uncomfortable, was growing unbearable. “So!” Misato said, clearly in a desperate attempt to break it. “From what I’ve read in your file, we actually have a lot in common!”

“Really?”

“Yep! Antarctica, Second Impact, right?”

Utena stared. “You too? I didn’t realize anyone else…”

“As far as anyone knows, the two of us are the only survivors, and we were both kids whose parents worked there. Kind of a weird coincidence, don’t you think?”

“Definitely. Um, if it’s not too forward of me to ask, how long were you…?”

“Oh, I wasn’t in cryostasis like you were, so I didn’t lose any time. Luckily, the protective capsule my dad put me in got found floating out at sea before I died of dehydration, but as a result of my experiences, I was unable to speak for several years.”

“Oh.”

“Eh, don’t worry about it. It was a long time ago, and I’m totally fine now!” Misato flashed Utena a grin. “What about you? What’s your story? If you feel comfortable sharing it, that is.”

“Um, this is going to sound kinda silly.”

“Don’t worry about it! This is a bonding exercise, anything goes.”

“Well… it was a prince.”

“Wait, what? What was?”

Another shockwave tore through the car, stronger this time, or maybe they were just closer to the source. Utena cried out in alarm, and she could see that Misato’s hands had tightened on the steering wheel.

“After the wing my parents were in collapsed, but before the big explosion, there was a prince who came to me. Like, right out of a fairy tale. He was shining, and he smelled like roses. He told me to never lose my strength or nobility, even when I grew up, and then put me in the pod and sealed it. Um, but my memories of that day are pretty fuzzy, so I don’t really know where he came from or… anything else.”

“Hey, don’t worry about it, seven years in cryostasis will do that to you.” Misato flashed Utena a reassuring smile.

Utena returned the smile, and then, emboldened by Misato’s encouragement, continued. “Well, after that, I decided that I wanted to become a prince who saves people just like he did for me, so I started dressing like a boy, and I adopted a chivalrous lifestyle… and well, here I am now.”

Misato’s eyes shone. “That’s so cool! It really gives me hope, you know, that people still choose to be brave and kind to each other, even after everything… oh, and by the way, the school you’ll be attending has a mandatory dress code, but one of the perks of being an Eva pilot is that you get to wear whatever you want, so you won’t have to fight the teachers on the whole uniform thing.”

“Really? That’s a relief.” Utena rubbed her fingers absentmindedly, protectively, against her jacket’s thick sleeve, enjoying the texture. “My last school had this crazy guidance counselor… I swear, you put one toe over these invisible lines people made up about what boys and girls can and can’t do, and everyone loses their minds.”

Misato winced. “Tell me about it…”

“Oh! Oh right, of course you’d know all about that-” Utena flailed around verbally once more, suddenly remembering Misato’s… situation. “Sorry, I just forgot-”

“Hey, no worries. I guess you could say we’re birds of a feather in a lot of ways, huh?”

“...Yeah, I- I guess we are.”

“By the way, how would you feel about-”

Whatever Misato was about to say next was cut off by another shockwave, this one even stronger than the last. But this time, instead of dissipating harmlessly, it was followed by an avalanche of boulders thrown into the air from when a nearby mountain had- oh dear god, it had exploded.

Misato shouted with alarm and slammed on the brakes, just barely avoiding a crash with the boulder in front of them. Several more impacted with the road behind them, trapping the car right where it was. A roar shook the mountains, and the pair slowly turned their gazes toward the source.

There was an Evangelion standing there in a combat stance, prog knife in hand, its metallic chassis gleaming blood-red in the harsh afternoon light, with green and gold accents shimmering like stars through the heavy smoke rising from the ashes of what used to be a mountain. And standing across from it…

“That’s an Angel?” Utena asked, horror keeping her voice from rising above a whisper. Misato gave a terse nod.

The thing was titanic , almost half the size of the mountain that it and the Eva had just wiped off the face of the earth. It had six sinewy arms and no legs or head, and a red orb portruded from its back. It roared once more from its many gaping, salivating jaws, one at each shoulder and probably several more where Utena couldn’t see, before making another charge at the Eva. The massive robot sprang into action, dodging the Angel’s hands and slashing at it with its prog knife again and again, but was repelled each time by some sort of shimmering orange field.

“I… I’d seen the videos, but…”

Misato didn’t take her eyes off the fight. “Nothing can prepare you for the real thing. I’m sorry you had to find out like this. We need to get out of this car; it’ll be of no protection for us if either of them hurls something — or, god forbid, themselves — over here.”

Utena nodded with agreement, and together they exited the car and climbed on top of a nearby boulder, hoping for a better vantage point. Utena pulled her knees to her chest. “So that’s gonna be my duty next, huh?”

“If we survive this…” Misato’s voice was barely a whisper; she didn’t seem to have noticed that she had spoken aloud. “You’ll be added to the rotation of pilots for Unit R05, yes.”

“Ah.”

They sat together in silence for a few more minutes, watching the fight. The combatants seemed to be at a sort of standstill, with the Angel unable to pin down the Eva for long enough to bite into it, and the Eva unable to pierce the Angel’s strange orange shield.

Misato’s eyes narrowed. “Saionji’s sync rate must be down, if he can’t get through that A.T. field. Argh, I knew we should’ve prepared Miki instead, but he insisted-”

The Angel got a hit on the Eva's face.

There was a moment of sudden, deafening silence.

And then the Eva screamed.

Giant steel-plated arms grasped at its head, metallic and organic screeches blending together. Blood-red spikes shot out of the chassis, fracturing it in several places. Misato cursed and whipped her phone out of her pocket, hastily pressing a few buttons. The face of an intense-looking blonde woman popped up on the screen, with a white hospital room in the background. “He’s been the pilot for too long, psychological contamination is setting in! R05’s going berserk!” Misato shouted.

“We know that!” the other woman hissed.

“So what are our options?”

“We’ll have to shut down R05 and send D10.”

Misato sucked in a breath. “No… Anthy’s still injured! She can’t pilot in her state!”

“Do you have a better plan?” the woman shot back.

MIsato glared at her feet.

The blonde woman turned to her side. “That’s it then. Anthy, you’re being deployed.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Utena gasped in horror as a wheeled gurney came into view of the camera. There was a girl on it-the same girl she had seen in the intersection, but her purple hair was curled into a tight roll all the way around her head, and she wore a pair of round glasses, and almost every inch of her skin was covered in bandages, some of them already showing red with blood soaking through. The girl seemed to mentally steel herself, before sitting up with a soft cry of pain and slumping against the blonde woman’s side, panting.

“No!”

All eyes turned toward Utena.

“I’ll pilot the Eva! That’s what I’m here for, right? You can’t make her do this!”

Misato met the blonde woman’s eyes. “...Could that work?”

She thought for a few seconds. “If we perform a full shutdown of R05, we could buy the Sixth about thirty seconds to get into the entry plug before it restarts itself and resumes its berserk rampage. Of course, that would be thirty seconds of total vulnerability…”

“We could distract it by sending military jets to bomb it,” Misato added.

“That could work… but there’s still the risk of the Angel realizing what we’re trying to do, or a stray bomb hitting the Sixth.”

“Then let’s leave it up to her. Utena, are you sure you want to do this?”

Utena hadn’t broken eye contact with the strange girl. Those green eyes, shining with pain and fear and despair...

“I’ll do it.”

The girl’s eyes widened with shock and, perhaps, a spark of hope.

Misato closed her eyes. “That settles it, then. Ritsuko, I hope you’re prepared to line everything up quickly, because we’re going to need that time. Utena, I’m going to need you to watch R05 closely. Try to predict where it’s going to fall, because you’re only going to have thirty seconds to get into the entry plug, where its spine meets its neck. Once you’re in there, you’re going to find Saionji unconscious in the cockpit. He’s wearing a pair of triangular metallic hair clips-those are the neural interface, you’ll need to clip them to your own hair, as close to your head as possible. Got all that?”

Utena nodded, her stance tense with determination. “Good. After that… Well, from what I’ve heard, piloting an Eva is sink-or-swim. There isn’t really any advice I can give you, since I’ve never done it myself… so try to swim. Good luck.”

Misato returned to her phone and started barking orders, and Utena slid off the rock towards where the battle was raging on. The spikes piercing out of R05’s chassis had started dripping a red liquid that steamed when it hit the ground. The metal at its shoulder blades bulged and cracked, and she could see an eerie purple light shining through the fissures.

One drop of liquid hit the Angel’s hand, and its howl of pain shook the entire valley. The hand melted away completely, leaving a stump at the wrist. The spots on the ground where the melted flesh had landed turned green, and if Utena looked closely, she could see thorny vines growing out of them.

Utena returned her attention to the Angel. Maybe, without its hand, we have a chance… her thoughts were cut off when the Angel flexed its arm, and two more hands grew from the stump. Oh. It can do that. Okay. The Angel screeched from all of its mouths, and as R05 lunged at it, caught the mech’s arms with two hands each, and began scrabbling at the Eva's chestpiece with its free arm.

With a keening cry, more spikes shot out of R05’s chest, catching the Angel’s shoulders and causing it to stumble back. The Eva took a few steps backward, panting. There was a sickening crack , and Utena could see that the fissures in its back had grown a bit larger, the purple light spilling out a little bit brighter.

Misato cursed. “Its wings are about to erupt! Ritsuko, we need those reinforcements now! ”

“They’re on their way!” And sure enough, Utena could hear jet engines approaching rapidly, Something streaked toward the Angel, and an explosion rang out. The Angel stumbled forward and whipped around to face the squadron of fighter jets that were flying towards it. It let out a roar, and sprinted away from R05.

“Utena, go! ” Misato shouted as the Eva, seemingly about to charge after the Angel shuddered to a halt, then collapsed onto its side. Utena sprang into action, sprinting towards R05 before it even hit the ground and vaulting onto its wrist, before climbing up the arm. She pulled herself up onto its back and began making her way towards the entry plug as quickly as she could, taking care to avoid the red spikes, which she could now see were black at the base.

Another explosion from the Angel’s battle with the jets rang out, and Utena cried out in alarm as she fell into a crouch, clinging to one of the fissures in R05’s armor to keep from falling off. It was emanating some sort of strange energy, and Utena’s hands were starting to go numb. She pushed herself back to her feet, wincing as she tried to massage the feeling back into her fingers, and kept going.

She had just barely reached the entry plug when a shudder ran through the Eva, and it began to move its arms into position to push itself back up. Utena gulped, then twisted the release on the emergency escape hatch on the entry plug and slipped inside, shutting it tightly behind her.

And not a moment too soon, for an instant after the hatch was sealed, she was suddenly vertical, flung forward into empty space. Then she hit some sort of uncomfortably warm liquid, and didn’t even have time to gasp for breath before she was submerged. She coughed and sputtered, but after a few seconds, realized that she could breathe in the liquid almost as easily as air. It was orange, and transparent, thicker than air or water but not gelatinous, and it smelled like salt, with a faint hint of something acrid and sickly sweet. Fighting down a wave of disgust, Utena swam deeper into the entry plug, towards where she could see a chair suspended in the liquid.

Sure enough, just as Misato had said, there was a boy floating there, unconscious, his dark hair swirling around him like a kelp forest, with the triangular neural interface clips attached close to his scalp. Utena gingerly undid the clasps, then with both clips clutched in her hand, shoved the boy (Saionji?) up away from the seat. She settled into it, and somehow, the chair seemed almost made to fit her narrow frame.

Alright, R05 , Utena thought, it’s just you and me now. Moment of truth. With a deep breath, she affixed the clips to her own head.

She was enveloped by the scent of roses.

A heartbeat later, she was nearly bowled over by a wave of sensation and pain. The walls of the entry plug around her flickered , and suddenly displayed the scene of the battle, as if she were seeing through R05’s eyes. She could feel the spikes protruding from the Eva's body just as though it was her own, along with waves of pressure pounding at her shoulder blades.

Utena couldn't suppress a cry of agony, and she curled up in her seat. She could see R05’s movements jerk to a halt as it adjusted to this new connection. Emotions tore through her, somehow more intense than they were normally. Pain, confusion, fear… familiarity? Something about this, about being so close to this monstrosity of steel and fluid felt… right , somehow. Forcing herself upright, Utena reached out and stroked the wall of the entry plug.

“Hey, it’ll be alright,” she said, in the most soothing voice she could muster, “I’m new here, and I don’t really know how to do this, so we’re going to have to work together, okay?”

The Evangelion had stopped moving. It stood at attention, and even though Utena knew on an intellectual level that it was just a robot, it almost seemed… hopeful? “I know it hurts, I’m so, so sorry. Please, just work with me here and it’ll be over soon, I promise.”

Utena felt a ripple of some emotion — was it acceptance? Relief? — and then, suddenly, the pressure at her shoulder blades receded, and the limbs of the Eva became her own. Utena smiled gratefully. “Thanks, bud. Now let’s go kill an Angel.”

Together, they turned their attention back to the fight. Two of the planes had crashed to the ground already, a third was missing with no sign of where it had gone, and the Angel stood on four of its arms, the other two flailing wildly into the air, occasionally extending far past where its bones should allow and requiring a plane to make a hasty dodge to avoid it. “We need to get it to leave those planes alone. Can you do that?”

As if in affirmation, Utena felt her attention directed towards R05’s wrist. A small gun was embedded there; not strong enough to do any real damage to the Angel, but enough to distract it enough to give the planes enough time to retreat. She lifted R05’s arm and fired.

The shot hit the Angel right at the edge of one of its mouths. The thing stiffened, and turned towards them. “Hey wait, how does it see us if it doesn’t have any eye- AH!” Utena’s sentence was cut off by a scream as the Angel charged them, slamming into R05’s chassis and knocking them both back. One of its shoulders collided with the Eva’s forearm, and she gasped in pain as its swordlike fangs dug in. It’s not real , she tried to convince herself desperately, as she felt the fibers of her muscles severed and teeth grinding against her bones. It’s just feedback, it’s not your pain…

But it was R05’s.

Machine or not, R05 felt pain.

A newfound determination welled in Utena’s chest. I can’t let this continue, she thought. I’m fighting for both of us, now.

She clutched the prog knife in her free hand and drove it upward. It crashed into the orange forcefield, sending splinters of pain up Utena’s arm, but she kept pushing. She felt a pulse of energy shoot out from R05’s core, and suddenly, the knife’s blade slipped through the field, right into the monster’s shoulder.

The Angel howled in agony and released her, but Utena didn’t retreat, instead springing back to (her? The Eva’s?) feet. She grasped the knife in both hands and brought the blade down on the orb in the Angel’s back again and again, until she felt something crack underneath the point. She dug the knife deeper, and the orb suddenly lit up, brighter than the sun—

She and R05 were thrown back by the explosion, they hit the side of a mountain, their heads impacting painfully against the rock, stars danced before their eyes—

It smells like roses, Utena thought.

Then there was nothing but darkness.

#revolutionary girl utena #rgu #neon genesis evangelion #nge #shoujo kakumei utena #sku #utena tenjou #anthy himemiya #utena x anthy #misato katsuragi #ritsuko akagi #utenanthy #my writing

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another-mexico-oc · 5 years ago

Text

💖 What your favorite Mexico´s ship/OTP says about YOU ...

Spanish version —> AQUÍ

Hello everyone! The month of love is finally over, but before that, inspired by the “What your Favorite Hetalia ship says about you” and related; and since Mexico is one of the most shipped countries (at least by the Hetalia and Countryhumans latin fandom), I decided to make this in collaboration with my cousin. If you are not familiar with this, basically it is a recopilation of facts some people share when they ship Mexico with another country.

WARNINGS AND NOTES BEFORE WE START:

- This post is for both, Hetalia and Countryhumans fans. I clarify that in this blog we don´t discuss which one is better than the other, we enjoy the healthy part and avoid the toxic part.

- This is just for fun, and IT SHOULD NOT BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY. Think of it as a horoscope, you can share some of the facts, maybe not. The main purpose is to have some fun.

- We are aware that not all the ships will be here, or that not all of them will have the same extension. We tried to gather all we could.

- This is an extra warning for the English translation: This post may contain a lot of mexican and latin american modern references. Also, the best known historical periods are going to be mentioned, so if you are not familiar with the history of Mexico, we invite you to watch this video, and to consult other articles and media.

Without further due, let´s begin:

FIRST OF ALL, THIS IS ONE OF THE POSSIBLE REASONS YOU SHIP MEXICO WITH ONE, IF NOT, MORE COUNTRIES:

- You are mexican, I don´t have a doubt. You have a Mexico OC and you make fanarts and write fanfics about him/her with your favorite character.

- You are latino, and you came from the Latin Hetalia fandom, or you are from the latin fandom of Countryhumans (obviously, Miss Sherlock Holmes).

- You are neither mexican or latino, but still you like Mexico.

- If you are from Hetalia, you are still waiting the day Himaruya publish the official design of Mexico, so he/she can interact with your favorite character.

OKAY, NOW LET´S GO WITH THE SHIPS:

IF YOU LIKE 🇺🇸 USAMEX (USA X Mexico) 🇲🇽

- Favorite fanfic genre: Angst.

- Your guilty pleasures are the toxic love, the impossible love or the unrequited love. Or perhaps you like stories about people who fall in love with their chilhood friend. Or you like the phrase “From hate to love...”

- If you are from Hetalia, (also applies to Countryhumans) probably you also like FrUK (France x UK) or SpUK (Spain x UK). Or you simply don´t support USUK (USA x UK).

- If you are mexican, probably you are from the North, and you love the North and South Mexico OC´s. (And obviously, you ship North Mexico with USA).

- If you are mexican, you probably have visited the United States or your have relatives living there. Going further, you are chicano.

- You love the states personifications of both countries, and you are fascinated by the idea that Texas, Arizona, New Mexico and California are the USA and Mexico kids.

- If you are from Hetalia, you like cowboy America, and you also like Mexico dressed as a revolutionary or adelita.

IF YOU LIKE 🇷🇺 RUSMEX (Russia x Mexico) 🇲🇽

- You hate USAMex and surely you don´t like United States if you are mexican.

- Your favorite historical event: the Cold War.

- Favorite word: Tripaloski.

- You like couples with a lot of height difference. Lil Mex is the most adorable thing in the world.

- If you are a Countryhumans fan, probably you also ship Perú with USA.

- You like love triangles stories. (Cough… cough… USA x Mexico x Russia)

- You have seen Youtube videos of “Rusos Reaccionan a…” (Russians react to), and of mexicans in the Russia 2018 FIFA.

IF YOU LIKE 🇨🇦 CANMEX (Canada x Mexico) 🇲🇽

- You like fluffy ships.

- You think Canada is a better suitor than the toxic USA and the distant and cold Russia. (Or if you are from Hetalia, you think Russia is too mad and unstable for Mexico)

- If you are mexican, you have visited Canada, you want to work or study there, or you have relatives living in Canadá.

- If you´re from Hetalia, it is likely that you don´t like CuCan (Cuba x Canada).

- Also, if you´re from Hetalia, you got excited when in the anime and the manga, Kumajiro mentioned Mexico, and then you got mad because he/she was never showed up!

- If you´re mexican, you were into the memes of Peña Nieto and Justin Trudeau.

- Like Russia case, you adore the love triangles, but in this case you like stories about brothers who have a crush on the same person.

IF YOU LIKE 🇪🇸 SPAMEX (Spain x Mexico) 🇲🇽

- You like sugar daddies. (Daddy Spain 😏)

- Your guilty pleasure are stories about possesive couples and couples with secret lovers. (Okay, that´s not healthy...)

- If you´re from the Hetalia fandom, you do not like SpaMano (Spain x Romano), and if you are mexican, you will never accept (or you ignored) that canonically, Romano received better treatment than the rest of Spain colonies.

- If you are mexican, you like when Mexico (or New Spain) is represented as the spoiled kid, as daddy´s little princess, and as the best colony of Spain. (Sorry, the other Spain former colonies.)

- Your favorite Mexico periods are the Conquest, the New Spain colonial era and the Independence.

- Probably you not only ship Mexico with Spain. Actually for some reason you like Mexico cheating Spain with another country, either England, France, a latin country and, why not? with the United States.

IF YOU LIKE 🇫🇷 FRAMEX (France x Mexico) 🇲🇽

- You like to live the expensive life: Eating in gourmet restaurants, buying brand clothes, expensive trips with a five-star hotel stay. Or if you had money, you would love to live the expensive life.

- You like fashion and architecture.

- Favorite Mexico period: The Porfiriato. If you´re mexican, you think that outside of the bad things, Porfirio Díaz made great contributions to the country, and his remains should return to Mexico.

- If you are mexican, you live in the capital, or/and you love to visit Mexico City downtown.

- You like stories about characters who made the casanova to fall in love with them, or stories about the stalker gaining his crush´ heart. (Creepy...)

- If you like male Mexico, you like him to be a flirt and gallant. If you like female Mexico, you like her to be very femenine and dressing pretty outfits.

IF YOU LIKE 🇬🇧UKMEX (England x Mexico) 🇲🇽

- If you are from Hetalia, obviously you like tsundere characters.

- You are fan of Harry Styles, Tom Hiddleston, Benedict Cumberbatch, Queen, the Beatles, David Bowie, Alan Rickman, or any other english celebrity.

- You´re a big fan of gentlemen like Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice or Mr. Rochester from Jane Eyre. In fact, you have readed a lot of books from that period and from that genre.

- You like black humor, wordplay and double entendre phrases.

- You hate Spain and you think England would have been a better sugar daddy. (Why would you think that?)

- You think England would have been a better colonizer than Spain (Why would you think that?)

- If you´re from Hetalia, you like pirate England.

IF YOU LIKE 🇩🇪 GERMEX (Germany x Mexico) 🇲🇽

- If you´re from Hetalia you think Italy doesn´t deserve Germany. In other words: No GerIta.

- You like dogs, and you want to adopt Paco from Countryhumans.

- Favorite historical period: WWI and WWII.

- You are one of those who think the Zimmerman Telegram was a love confession letter from Germany to Mexico.

- You think England and United States are the worst for intervening on your OTP.

- You like stories Romeo and Juliet´ type: Two people who are from opposite groups who fell in love with each other.

- Also if you´re from Hetalia, besides you like the Doitsu, you like his BDSM side. (Fifty Shades of Germany, coming soon to your nearby bookstore)

IF YOU LIKE 🇦🇹 AUSMEX (Austria x Mexico) 🇲🇽

- If you are mexican, you think Maximilian I of Mexico would have been better governor than Benito Juárez.

- If you´re mexican, you think Mexico should have been an empire since it´s independence.

- You like stories about arranged marriages, or stories about a poor character who marries a rich one, like in telenovelas!

- If you are from Hetalia, probably you prefer PruHun (Prussia x Hungary).

IF YOU LIKE 🇮🇹 ITAMEX (Italy x Mexico) 🇲🇽

- Congratulations! You are 1000% unique and different. Oh, and you are alone in your fandom too. Barely there´s someone who shares your ship.

IF YOU LIKE 🇯🇵NIMEX (Japan x Mexico) 🇲🇽

- You´re mexican and you are 100% otaku.

- You are tired of Mexico being shipped just with europeans, latinos and north americans. Asians also deserve time y admiration.

- You love cats. (You may be also in the furry fandom)

- If some of the previously mentioned ships have this feature, with this one you confirm that you like complete opposite couples.

- You love long distance relationships.

- If you´re from Hetalia, you like Japan quiet, shy, inocente tiene la mirada… 🎵 🎵 🎵Le tomo la mano, y siente algo extraño … 🎵(Okay, i´ll stop singing)

IF YOU LIKE ��🇳 CHUMEX (China x Mexico) 🇲🇽

- You don´t like neither USAMex or RusMex.

- Or maybe you like the Rusia x México x China love triangle. You can add USA, and now you have some kind of love square.

- You have seen the Chumel Torres on HBO videos, specially those that are titled: “Mexicanos al Grito de Trump” and “Latinos Enemigos”.

- You like the apps Wish and Tik Tok.

- Unlike those who ship FraMex, you prefer to save money by buying good, pretty and cheap things. You have bought in Miniso and in other Chinese low-cost variety stores.

- You like couples with a lot of age difference (If you are an Hetalia fan, you know what I mean). In other words: 🎵A mí me gustan mayores, de esos que se llaman señores … 🎵

- You prefer Huawei rather than Iphone.

IF YOU LIKE 🇰🇷 South Korea x Mexico 🇲🇽

- It is more likely that you came from Hetalia than Countryhumans, and you think Korea needs more recognition alongside China and Japan, even more when this character was censored from the anime.

- If you´re mexican, your ship started when: “Hermano coreano, ya eres mexicano”. (Korean bro, you are already mexican)

- You like K-Pop.

- You have seen videos of El Coreano and Coreano Vlogs on Youtube.

IF YOU LIKE 🇧🇷 BRAMEX (Brazil x Mexico) 🇲🇽, 🇦🇷 ARGMEX (Argentina x Mexico) 🇲🇽, 🇨🇱 CHIMEX (Chile x Mexico) 🇲🇽, 🇵🇪 MEXRU (Mexico x Peru) 🇲🇽, or ANY OTHER LATIN AMERICAN COUNTRY X MEXICO.

- IN GENERAL:

- If you are from Hetalia, obviously you are from the Latin Hetalia fandom. If you are from Countryhumans, obviously you are mexican and/or latino.

- Your favorite characters are without doubt the latinos, and you prefer that all stays in family. In fact, you don´t like to ship Mexico with first world countries, or you use these last ones to create love triangles, love squares, or any other love geometric figure.

- You like Mexico being the dom of the relationship.

- BRAMEX: If you are from Countryhumans, you are most likely to be a fan of @torakashu. You don´t like Argentina x Brazil, or maybe you like the Argentina x Brasil x México love triangle. You also ship Argentina with Chile.

- ARGMEX: You don´t like Argentina x Brazil, or maybe you like the Argentina x Brasil x México love triangle. You also ship Brazil with Uruguay.

- CHIMEX: You live with roomies. You love tsundere characters like those who ship UKMex, but maybe not too tsunderes. And people who don´t like your ship, you smack´em with your guitar! ( 😁)

- MEXRU: If the people who ship RusMex like lil adorable Mexico, you think that Peru (who is even more short sized) is the most mega super 1000% kawaii thing in the universe. Probably you also like the Rusia x Peru x USA x Mexico love square.

IF YOU LIKE 🇺🇦 UKRAMEX (Ukraine x Mexico) 🇲🇽 or 🇧🇾 BELMEX (Belarus x Mexico) 🇲🇽

- Your favorite historical event: the Cold War.

- You think that RusMex is very overrated, and similar to the CanMex case, you think Russia siblings are better suitors.

- You don´t care to ship countries which do not share a lot of history and interactions compared to others.

- If you are from Hetalia you are a Belarus fan,and you ignore or hate her canon personality in the manga and the anime.

IF YOU LIKE 🇳🇱 NEDMEX (Netherlands x Mexico) 🇲🇽

- You are from the Hetalia fandom, without doubt.

- Favorite Mexico Historical Period: The New Spain Colonial era.

- You like mysterious guys and with aura of "bad boy" but romantic on the inside.

- Eh… you like tulipans???

IF YOU LIKE 🇵🇭Phillippines x Mexico 🇲🇽

- Favorite Mexico Historical Period: The New Spain Colonial era.

- More probably you are from Hetalia than Countryhumans.

- You like dom Mexico.

- Is probably that you ship, both Phillippines and Mexico, with other countries, since this two have their own harems.

IF YOU LIKE PRUMEX (Prussia x Mexico) 🇲🇽, 🇵🇹 Portugal x Mexico 🇲🇽, Scotland x Mexico 🇲🇽

- You are an Hetalia fan.

- PRUMEX: You don´t like GerMex.

- PORTUGAL X MEXICO: You don´t like SpaMex.

- SCOTLAND X MEXICO: You don´t like neither UKMex or USAMex.

- IN GENERAL: You don´t like popular Mexico ships, and you prefer to ship Mexico with the siblings of the popular countries.

IF YOU LIKE 🇲🇽Mexico x Any other country which is not on this post 🌎

You like random ships, you are unique and different, or you simply are a mexican who has visited or likes certain country.

IF YOU LIKE 🇲🇽 Mexico x Mexico 🇲🇽

- You are a 100% patriot mexican.

- You like the North, South, and even Central, Mexico OC´s.

IF YOU LIKE 🌎THE MEXICO HAREM (Everyone x Mexico) 🇲🇽

- You are mexican without doubt.

- You like submissive Mexico, or you like the flirty Mexico OC´s.

- You think Mexico is the best country in the world and everybody should know it.

- You get excited everytime a foreigner speaks well about your country. You often read the news about Mexico and it´s negotiations and agreements with the other countries.

- You have thoroughly investigated the history of Mexico and its relations with other countries. You've watched the YouTube channels of MainWatchers, Yolo Camotes and The Nopal Times Tops

- You are studying or you are interested on the next careers: International relations, History and Languages.

- If you´re a fan of Hetalia, you like all the male characters and you fantasize about them.

————

We finish! If you like it and you had fun with it, I invite you to reblog it with this emoji: 💟. We also invite you to reblog it so you can share it with more fans :)

I still have a lot of work and it seems it will get more hard, but I´ll do my best to keep active. Without anything more to say, see you all on the next post.

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notalittlebutalottie · 5 years ago

Note

kc+ soulmates au (I can't choose between AH or not so your choice) their lovely banter please.

Thank you for your request and being so patient with my writing! I took some inspiration from the Korean Drama titled ‘Love Alarm’ to make this soulmate AU! ENJOY!

♥♥♥ KLAROLINE DRABBLE REQUEST #17: Love Alarm♥♥♥

It was released on a Tuesday. A revolutionary app that could tell you if your soulmate was within a large radius of you. The Love Alarm. It was an app produced by the government to increase child birth rates. There was a buzz about it when she was in high school, but nothing concrete. But after years of curating the perfect product, it finally was here. No one knew how it worked, but it was a marvel of technology that got you exponentially closer to finding that special someone.

The special someone for Caroline was most certainly not in front of her.

“Do you really have to take out the last copy? We all know you can afford to buy it,” Caroline berated, folding her arms as she glared at the thick red book in the hands of Klaus Mikaelson.

Klaus rolled his eyes harshly, shaking the book for a moment as he lorded over her. “Well, maybe I like using the library copy. I’m surprised you didn’t just absorb the material by looking at it since you’re attempting to burn a hole in it with your eyes.”

They had been fated to be in the same Intro to Business class and once the group projects had begun, it was game over. He was a smug, ungrateful, rich kid who expected every girl to just drop their panties at the sight of him. Even thinking about it sent her blood pressure up.

“Tell you what, sweetheart,” he leaned in close and she stared him down without so much as a flinch. His lips curled at her lack of reaction. “I won’t take it out.”

Her eyes narrowed. God, why did he have to smell so good? It was seriously confusing her emotions with her senses. “What’s the catch?”

“I’ll be sitting in my usual spot and you can wait for me to finish.”

Caroline scoffed, “But it could take you hours?! I’m not waiting on you.”

“Then I am afraid I cannot be helped if you leave and someone else wants the book after me,” he lowered his voice, the richness sending a shiver to her core.

She eyed him carefully, searching his face for any cracks of doubt. She wouldn’t hold it against him to be spiteful and give the book away while her back was turned. “Fine.”

And so there they sat, apart from each other on opposing tables. Caroline kept her eyes squarely on him while he read and took notes and glanced at her every so often with his devilish smile. She even debated whether a simple blink would test his ‘generosity’, as he would like to call it.

“It’s out!” Elena came speeding into the library with her twin Katherine in tow. “Love Alarm!”

Caroline’s stare was broken as her two friends sat in front of her, Elena slamming her phone onto the table with a giggle and Katherine maintaining her ever so cool expression. Katherine had already announced that she preferred not knowing about her soulmate and she would continue to let fate do its thing.

But everyone else? They went wild.

The previously quiet college library was now bustling with a feverish excitement over the key to such knowledge.

“Hayley dumped Tyler right on the quad when she found out they weren’t soulmates! It was BRU-TAL. I loved it,” Katherine suddenly became animated as she recounted the scene. It seemed that even someone like Katherine would get some use out of the app if only for entertainment purposes.

“Oh my god. Seriously? She trusts the App that much?” Caroline giggled in response, soon faltering as she glanced at Klaus, whose attention was removed from the book and on her.

“You should get it!” Elena shook her hands into fists, her eyes lighting up.

Caroline laughed again, tickled by her friend’s pure energy. With a playful sigh, she downloaded the app. It was already the number one download in the store within thirty minutes. Filling out the necessary forms, she paused a few times to consider her answers.

Welcome, Caroline Elizabeth Forbes. We are cross-referencing you with nearby users…

She swallowed, watching the little heart on the screen beat as a ring expanded around it with a tiny bell sound.

No Soulmate Detected.

“Oh. Well, that was anticlimactic.”

“I mean...it’s new, so maybe your soulmate just doesn’t have an account yet?” Elena reasoned, playing with the options on her phone.

“Huh?” Caroline scrunched up her nose. “I mean, maybe. It’s not like my soulmate is gonna be at our college anyway. They could be anywhere in the world!”

Klaus was watching her with bewilderment as she stared at her phone and chewed her lip. Her nervous mannerisms always sent a shock to his system. He found himself wondering what they were all chattering on about. ‘Love Alarm’ he thought he had heard.

After a quick glance side to side, he took his search to google.

Government’s New Phone Application That Promises to Find YOUR SOULMATE Kicks off With a BANG!

What? He stifled a brittle laugh at the preposterous nature of it all. Soulmates. As if there could ever be such a thing!

Still, it would provide some much needed amusement to try it out.

Klaus took another check of the people around him and proceeded to download the ridiculous app and fill out his details.

Welcome, Niklaus Mikaelson. We are cross-referencing you with nearby users…

“You never know,” Katherine teased in her melodic and sultry voice as she rose from her chair. “Could be someone sexy!”

Elena giggled and pushed her sister out into the aisle. “We’ll see you later, Care!”

Caroline shook her head and set her phone on the table. Soulmates… No. If there was such a thing, maybe it was best to find it naturally. Love couldn’t be forced after all.

Before she could bring herself back to the task her friends had distracted her from, her phone lit up, and with a pairing echo from another phone, it rang:

YOUR SOULMATE IS NEARBY.

She looked up, her head lifting sharply from her screen. And there he was, sat across from her. Her ‘soulmate’. Klaus Mikaelson. Shit.

#klaus and caroline #klaroline fanfiction #klaroline #klaus mikaelson #caroline forbes #the originals #the vampire diaries #elena gilbert #katherine pierce #drabble #drabbles #drabble request

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your-turn-to-role · 5 years ago

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~guess who's thinking about caleb again~

i haven't watched the latest ep yet, waiting for it to go up on youtube, but i've seen a couple scenes around and i know i'm gonna have a whole other post to write when i get context on those, so might as well put this up now

bc i was going back and watching the confrontation with the scourger in episode 70, and i'm really fascinated by the line "she is me if i had turned out to be me"?

bc like... liam does a really good job of playing this character dealing with incredible trauma and the after effects of abuse and radicalization, but the other narrative that caleb thoroughly embodies is that of the prodigy, the gifted child. and that's one thing that doesn't even need a great evil to cause, just a few genuinely well meaning people who think they know the kind of person you'll turn out to be

kids like that, aren't raised to believe skill is something you work at. they're raised to believe skill is something you are. either you're innately talented, or you're not, it's not something you control. but if you are talented (and i use that word specifically here to mean "showing signs of being good at the things society values"), then that's something you're praised for, typically the only thing you're praised for, and you know, kids like being praised, they like feeling special and important and valued. and sooner or later it kind of becomes your whole identity, because that's all you've ever been told you are. and as you grow you're continually held to that standard and not really given any room to make a mistake, because once you do it means you've failed, and you can't fail, so you must not be you anymore. and if you're not you, you're not anyone, so how can you expect to have value?

it shouldn't really be a surprise therefore, that kids like that become incredibly easy to manipulate, and in the case of caleb and the other vollstreckers, to radicalize. you've been held to arbitrary standards your whole life, adding more means nothing to you. you've been raised to believe that your worth is based on how well you achieve, specifically how well you achieve compared to others, and that's a measure decided by your teacher. you have an innate sense of superiority for being better than everyone else, because this is the place you've been raised to believe you deserve, but it's also the place that one misstep will have it taken from you.

those kids wouldn't have complained, because that would make them failures, secretly unworthy. abuse gets by without a word because it's now a competition to see who can put up with the most shit without breaking, to see who's stronger. being hurt is a point of pride, having residuum shoved into your arms is a good thing, because it makes you special, and important, and it reminds you you're not a failure. it makes you stronger. as long as you keep enduring it, you still have value.

and then it goes deeper still, because this makes kids who at their core are scared. scared of messing up. scared that one step out of line will be the end of everything they've ever known. scared of their own emotions, ashamed of having them. scared of being anything but what they're told to be. absolute trust in their teacher, not because he's worthy of it, but because they have no choice. at this point, they believe all this too. so why wouldn't they trust him? he's the one making them stronger, he's the one keeping them perfect.

he's also the one with the ability to take all that away, but that wouldn't happen to them, that's for the other people, the failures. the failures deserve it.

and if he gives them a list of people he says are traitors to the empire and deserve to die, they believe it. and they need some kind of control in their life, some outlet for every emotion they're not allowed to feel, and anger and pain make pretty good ones in a pinch.

which brings us to caleb. and the way he talks about who he used to be.

because on one hand, caleb has detatched himself a little from that line of thinking. it's been a long time since he was truly immersed in it. he realised ikithon had faked his memories and all of it was a lie, and he lost his trust in ikithon, in the cerberus assembly, in the empire.

he actually lost his trust in everything, because he didn't have trust in anything else. jester asks him if he still believes in what trent was preaching and he tells her he doesn't believe in anything anymore. he knows enough to know it all was wrong, but there was nothing left to fill in the gap, so he's just getting by the best he can and trying to figure it out.

but his identity, his sense of self, is still tied up with that boy who was on the fast track to becoming one of the assembly one day. look at how he talks about what happened, he doesn't say he got away from it, he says "i failed". caleb doesn't want to go back to the assembly, but his ideal self is still there. who he believes he is, is still there.

"if i had turned out to be me"

he does not in any way identify with the person he is right now. he doesn't even really see it as a person, because identity was always linked with achievement, with the empire. he's surviving, but he's not real.

and i think that's one of the reasons he has such a hard time detaching himself from who he was back then, what he did. why he believes without a doubt he is a bad person. why he's always the first to put himself down when nott says he's on his way to being something great. the main reason is of course that it was a hugely terrible and deeply traumatizing thing, but aside from that, all of this, everything he's done since he killed his parents, it's an afterthought. bren aldric ermendrud was a prodigy, caleb widogast is a failure and worth nothing.

bren aldric ermendrud was an evil person who murdered his entire family. caleb widogast can't forgive that, because caleb widogast has no value compared to the person he could have been. caleb widogast is a nice lie you tell people to make them feel better about a situation they can't fix. caleb widogast is a fairytale.

but caleb widogast is starting to be things. caleb widogast is a fighter, was a pirate, is a protector, is a revolutionary. caleb widogast has friends, and they're all traitors to the empire but he finds he doesn't care as much anymore, not like bren would.

bren's still in there, still disappointed over everything caleb's doing, still horrifically ashamed. still replaying the moment everything changed over and over in his head. but it's been a while since it paralysed him. it's gonna take caleb a while yet before he even realises he's still holding himself to those standards, and a hell of a lot longer to forgive himself, but i think when he does come to the realisation that he has worth as caleb, that'll be the first step

(and he'll always have scars, mental and physical, those are unavoidable, he's been through too much and done too much. but hopefully his friends can help him heal)

(and fuck i'm excited to see this further confrontation with the person who is a mirror of caleb's past future in all the worst ways)

#critical role #cr2 #caleb widogast #cr meta #trent ikithon #text #meta #cr thoughts #c2e70

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three-houses-text-files · 5 years ago

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dorothea/edelgard

c-a support + paired ending

Dorothea: Hey, Edie! Uh-oh, you're scowling again. D: You’re going to get wrinkles all over that cute face of yours if you don't smile more. Edelgard: Hello, Dorothea. I was just lost in thought. E: There are so many things to be done—to think of them makes my head ache sometimes. E: So many nobles of the Empire are utterly useless. E: I intend to appoint only those who can actually be useful. It doesn't matter if they're of noble or common birth. D: Noble or common? And you assume that'll be OK? (post-skip) E: When I am emperor, I intend to appoint only those who can actually be useful. It doesn't matter if they're of noble or common birth. D: Noble or common, eh? Can you really do that? (pre-skip) D: I mean, not that I don't agree. I'd make all those nobles vanish if I could... E: Don’t worry. I will make that a reality. E: It’s not a question of can or cannot. All that matters is doing it and doing it right. E: The nobility system has only been around for twelve- hundred years. The concept didn't exist before that. D: "Only" 1,200 years, huh? D: You always say such preposterous and extraordinary things, Edie. D: Yet somehow, you actually make it work for you. It's like you're a character from an opera. E: A character from an opera... Hm. E: If an opera is made about my life someday, I wonder how I'll be portrayed. E: The emperor who brought everlasting peace to Fódlan...or the tyrant who shed the blood of her people… (post-skip) E: The revolutionary who guided the Empire to a new dawn...or the foolish ruler who took her revolution too far… (pre-skip) D: Well, that all sounds pretty violent. But either way, it would make an incredible opera. D: Do you figure it'd be a grand action piece full of combat and strife? Or would you prefer a somber political drama? D: ♪Hail the mighty Edelgard, though red blood stains her story...♪ D: ♪Heavy as her crown may be, she will lead us all to glory... To a brighter dawn, we shall carry on... Hail Edelgard!♪ E: That’s quite enough, Dorothea. I'm starting to feel more than a little embarrassed. E: Lovely as your voice is, let's just hope that any operatic productions about me are still a ways off.

——————————————————————————————

D: ♪Humm, hu-humm, hu-humm...♪ E: You’re in high spirits today, Dorothea. D: I am. There is someone whose company I have come to enjoy. (post-skip?) D: Yes... I have met someone quite charming recently. I'm hoping we can spend more time together soon. (pre-skip?) E: Well, I wish you the best of luck. I wish I had some advice to offer. Alas... I do not. D: Eh, don't worry too much about it, Edie. D: I'd guess romance isn't really something you're interested in anyway. E: I’m not completely disinterested. D: Oh, yeah? Is there someone you have your eye on? E: Hmm… E: A certain face comes to mind at the thought...though I'm not sure you could call what we have a romance just yet. E: To be honest, there's nothing resembling romance in my life at present. E: It’s not that I'm disinterested. I'm simply too busy with other endeavors. I have no time to spare for such things. D: That's not surprising. You're not just any old noble, after all. D: Anyone who has feelings for you... Well, they're in for a pretty complicated life. E: True. And I can't ignore the possibility that I may have to marry for political purposes. E: I doubt I'll ever have the opportunity for a passionate romance as long as I live... D: That's no way to talk. You meet the right person and boom! You'll have passion to spare. D: Could be someone you've just met, or someone you've known your whole life... D: There's no telling how life will go. Something could even spark between the two of us! E: You and I? Now that is an entertaining thought. E: If such an exciting future is in store, I look forward to it! D: Oh yeah? That's awfully sweet of you, Edie.

——————————————————————————————

D: Hey, Edie, take a look at this! I received it as a gift... D: It was sent from... Hmm. I don't remember. Anyway, the point is... E: Dorothea… When you receive a gift, don't you think you should try to remember who it's from? D: You're right. That's a little thoughtless of me. E: What’s gotten into you lately? You seem mostly uninterested in the various suitors throwing themselves at you. E: Is something on your mind? D: Oh, don't worry about me. Everything's fine. D: I'm just not that interested in...certain men. D: I'm just finding it difficult to care about chasing after love as much as I used to. E: Do you have any idea why? D: Well, I do have an inkling... E: You seem reluctant to tell me... Is it somehow my fault? D: No, no, nothing like that. OK, I suppose you're not completely wrong, but... E: How do you mean? Please, just say what's on your mind. D: When the two of us are together, talking like this... D: Somehow I don't feel like I care about my troubles with love anymore. So, it's fine. D: Hmm... There's nothing wrong with that, of course, but it seems we should get to the bottom of such a drastic change. E: Maybe we can figure it out if we just— D: Edie. I'm telling you I'm fine. D: If you push me any further, I'll write an opera about you. I'll do it right here and now. D: And then I'll sing it in your face! E: Settle down, Dorothea, I can take a hint! If you insist, I'll drop the subject. E: Whatever you do, don't write more opera lines about me. My cheeks are probably still red from your last performance. D: Well, I can't promise anything. D: But if I try real hard, by the time the war is over I might just have an opera written, starring you! D: No need to worry though, Edie. I'll be fabulous as you. A performance they'll rave about for years. E: Ugh, the frightening part is that I don't know whether you're joking or not. E: But I do regret to inform you that you won't be playing the role of Edelgard. D: Why's that? E: Don’t you see? No story about me would be complete without the character of Dorothea. E: It would be ridiculous for you to play me instead of yourself. D: Edie... You really are something special, aren't you?

——————————————————————————————

paired ending

As Edelgard's reign as the Adrestian emperor began, Enbarr was restored, and with it, a certain opera house. Soon the Mittelfrank Opera Company put together a war drama depicting the journey and sacrifice of the emperor and her companions, and the starring role went to none other than Dorothea. Edelgard initially forbade the company from staging it, but was eventually persuaded by Dorothea's passionate performance to rescind that decree. It is said that the emperor always set aside time to enjoy the opera thereafter.

#fire emblem three houses spoilers #fe16 spoilers #fe3h spoilers #dorothea x edelgard #edelgard x dorothea

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moksharpg · 4 years ago

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Hi all! I hope everyone is having a great day! Below the cut you will find my sample application for the role of MANTRA! I’ve mentioned it before, but this application is meant to be super low-stress, low-pressure, which I hope I was able to capture in the sample app below. My sample app is by no means “the only way to do things” and is merely a snippet of me diving in my own character! I hope you all find this helpful and if you have any questions at all, please let me know!

Ｉ．ＴＨＥＰＬＡＹＥＲ

name/age/pronouns/timezone: Rach / 20 / She/Her / PST

approximate level of activity: 8; I intend to be on at least once a day.

triggers: n/a

writing sample: @ziadewans

anything else you’d like me to know?: nope!

ＩＩ．ＴＨＥＣＨＡＲＡＣＴＥＲ

desired skeleton: Mantra

full name: Aesha Khanna

faceclaim: Kelly Gale

age: 25

gender/pronouns: CisFemale; She/Her

occupation: Seamstress

are they a competitor for the throne?: No.

The more I dug into Aesha, the more I realized that she lacks a distinctly competitive spirit, one that may have drawn her to such a competition. Yes, she enjoys success and covets praise, but not in a way that is all-consuming. In many ways, this lack of explicit drive and motivation is what stands between Aesha and true success. Aesha is far more of a follower than a leader and certainly doesn’t seek out power as much as she seeks out her own independence and freedom. She’d much rather be part of a rising movement, than become the actual revolutionary that sets forth change. In many ways, becoming a participant in the competition would merely sidetrack her from her goals and desires, which Aesha has no interest in doing. Additionally, Aesha is so young. I think she lacks a lot of the tact, diplomacy, experience, and discipline it takes to be a strong leader and is still learning how to take care of herself, much less take care of the world around her. For the most part, Aesha likes her life and sees no reason to uproot it for a position she doesn’t even necessarily want. Still, she finds the entire prospect of the competition to be exhilarating and will no doubt be drawn into it as an avid onlooker.

bio/headcanons:

A baby girl is brought into this world; the identity of her father is completely unknown. Her mother remains tight-lipped on the topic and Aesha never presses out of love and respect for the woman who raises her and gives her the world. It’s a cruel fate to only ever know half one’s history, but she relents to the mystery of the past, having faith that when the time is right, the truth will come out.

Aesha lives a bright childhood, doted on by her mother and the other palace courtiers and dancers who are all too thrilled to have a baby girl in their midst. As Aesha grows older she’s often asked if she intends to follow in her mother’s footsteps, which she can only respond to with a hearty laugh, as her feet fail her far more often than her hands. She loves her mother and what she does, but it’s never been the life for her and she’s always known it.

Aesha learns to sew from her mother who had been hand-stitching her own costumes for countless years. In the hopes of alleviating some of her mother’s work, Aesha takes on the job of creating her mother’s costumes in its entirety and grows a passion for the work, forging leftover scraps of fabric into entirely new designs. Her stitchwork gains notoriety within the palace walls and before she knows it, she’s hemming garments for the wealthy and fixing torn fabric for nobility. It’s particularly humble work for the daughter of a temple dancer, but Aesha doesn’t mind, so long as the end result of her work is something of beauty.

Eventually, her workstation begins to sprawl beyond reason and for her twentieth birthday, Aesha’s mother purchases her a stall at Mahi Haat, with enough room for a small workroom in the back. It’s a kind gift that marks the beginning of a new chapter as Aesha’s adult life finally begins to take shape.

One afternoon she’s selling her wares when she catches a glimpse of a foreign man wandering through the market. She sees him and knows exactly who he is, because every time she looks in the mirror, she sees those very eyes in her reflection. They make eye contact and she thinks he knows too, but for one reason or another, she can’t bring herself to speak to him, and he disappears into the crowd of people. Still, there’s a part of herself that keeps a lookout, knowing that if she ever has a chance at seeing him again, she’ll be ready.

Aesha is quite adventurous to the point that she worries her mother greatly. She’s been known to travel to the edges of Parakram to find unique fabrics or deep into the jungles of Lasgarh to find berries to make dyes. In many ways, she lacks a real sense of responsibility and accountability, which allows her to be so spontaneous. While Aesha would like more stability in her life, her actions often contradict and she refuses to fully commit herself to the work and passions that could provide that stability.

para sample:

An easy gust kisses her skin, the breeze catching upon yards of bright fabric that dance in the wind. There’s a bright and lively chatter in the air as Aesha waits in front of the palace gates for the oncoming special announcement. In passing, Aesha’s mother had mentioned catching wind of a rumor regarding the Maharani’s future, but Aesha couldn’t help but sense that something a little more wondrous in the air.

Pargazi was always bustling and crowded, but the prospect of an important royal announcement always seemed to ignite the city with new fire. While she had initially intending on keeping to herself, one of the strangers who stands beside her turns to Aesha, unable to keep her excitement to herself, “Are you from Pargazi?” she asks, making friendly conversation as her impatience visibly mounted, “Or merely here for the announcement?”

“I’m a Pargazi native-- born and raised right here,” Aesha replies, as a tentative, but warm grin forms on her features, “Where are you from?”

“I’m actually just over from Lalitpur,” the younger woman replies, nodding her head in the direction of the coast, “But I convinced my mother to let me come. I simply couldn’t miss the chance to see the Maharani speak in person...I really like your dupatta,” she adds, cementing the broad smile to Aesha’s lips.

“Well, I can promise that you won’t be disappointed. The Maharani is a rather impressive woman, though I can’t begin to imagine what she’ll have to say today,” Aesha muses in response, “And thank you-- I actually designed it myself,” a hint of pride slipping into her words. “If you’re ever at Mahi Haat you should stop by my stall sometime.”

“I certainly will…” the girl nods as the sound of creaking signals the opening of the gates. Aesha’s eyes flash upwards and it’s as though she’s experiencing the palace for the very first time. She’s walked through these very halls and gardens countless times, but the energy of the crowd behind her inspires a whole new perspective-- a bit like looking at an old home through new eyes.

Her newfound companion interlocks their fingers and pulls Aesha forward, a flash of excitement striking through her veins as the pair of girls excitedly lay eyes on their queen. “Are you ready?” the younger girl asks her, giddily.

“Oh, I’m always ready.”

ＩＩＩ．ＯＴＨＥＲＳ＆ＥＸＴＲＡ（ＯＰＴＩＯＮＡＬ）

Pinterest Board

Personality Breakdown:

Myers-Briggs: ISFP -- The Adventurer - They tend to have open minds, approaching life, new experiences, and people with grounded warmth. Their ability to stay in the moment helps them uncover exciting potentials.

Temperament: Sanguine

Enneagram: The Enthusiast

#lsrpg #lsrp #literate rp #skeleton rp #skeleton rpg #sample app

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run-in-the-shadow · 5 years ago

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My Unnecessary Pitch of the New Hunger Games Prequel (a book that has already been written)

So I’ve given a lot of thought to the new Hunger Games prequel that Suzanne Collins is releasing next year. While there’s always some risk in resurrecting older properties, I’ve decided that I am excited for this. 15-year-old me rise.

But I’ve also been wondering, how could this story work? What will Collins do to make sure this isn’t just a Hunger Games 2.0? What will make it new and unique? How can it add to the existing story in a necessary way?

So I’ve basically come up with the format, characters, and basic plot that I think would be really cool in this potential prequel. Of course I’m not expecting any of this to actually be in the new book, but on the off chance that I actually do predict something right, I just want to write all of this down for the record.

If you’re at all curious about what I have in mind, read below. It’s long. Whoops.

Why it won’t be Hunger Games 2.0

The first Hunger Games novel has a fairly familiar formula, no doubt because the Games themselves have followed the same formula and traditions for 74 years at that point. There’s the reaping, tributes being picked, the training, the ceremonies, the interviews, the Games, the killing, and finally, one victor. Katniss, being the revolutionary that she is, broke that when both she and Peeta shared the victory.

But in order to have Katniss in the 74th Games, there can’t really be a Katniss-like character in the 10th Games. I’ve thought it over, and I just don’t think the narrator/main character (assuming Collins continues with 1st person POV) will or should be someone who is reaped as a tribute. We’re too familiar with that experience. We know the motions; we know the feelings. Additionally, it would seem all too predictable to assume that the main character we follow will end up being victor of the Games. Unless Collins does make the bold choice to kill them off. But then what? Would that make an impact on the overall story? One kid’s death among hundreds over the years?

I then thought, what if the story were told be someone at home, someone witness to the Games through the TV, the same as everyone else in the country watching? Meanwhile, they have their own fight to survive or take care of their families or whatever. Perhaps it’s someone they know, a friend or a relative, who is fighting in the Games. Basically if the Hunger Games were told from Prim’s perspective.

But we know why this won’t work. It’s boring. We are the Capitol. We enjoy the spectacle. We need to be closer to the action. Can you imagine a movie adaptation of someone just sitting, watching the Games from their home? So no, we can’t have that. Not for an entertaining story.

But if I don’t think it should be someone competing in the Games or someone watching in the districts, what does that leave...

The Young Mentor

(Sorry if the gender-neutral pronouns make it confusing. I just don’t care if these characters are gendered one way or the other.)

So here’s my pitch: Our main character is a previous victor of the Games, winning within the last couple of years (7th-9th Games). Perhaps they won when they were 15, so for this book, they are 17. Through brief flashbacks, we can discover details about their particular Games without having to go through the whole routine again. Not only that, but we can explore the aftermath, the PTSD, the shock, the changes in their lives, etc. And being a previous victor, they now have to take on the role as mentor for their district’s tributes.

Other details: they should be from a district other than 12. I just think it would be important to explore more areas of Panem, especially early Panem. Was the inequality from district to district just as extreme as it was in Katniss’ time? What if our main character was from one of the Career Districts? Or would they even be Career Districts that early on in the history of the Games? Maybe our character’s actions or experience contributed to those districts basically cheating the system. I really don’t have a particular district in mind at this time, but I just don’t want it to be 12 again.

What I especially love about this character’s age is that they would have memory of “before” the Games. The first Games would have occurred when they were 7. They could remember the distinct shift in the country, and they would be able to remember the adjustment to that life. Those are just very interesting topics to explore, since we’ve never seen life in Panem at that time, especially from the firsthand experience of a child.

The General Plot (& inevitable romance?)

So our main character is a mentor to their district’s 2 new tributes for the 10th Hunger Games. Perhaps this is their first time mentoring. Perhaps it is not, and the past year’s experience was either traumatic or just didn’t go very well. They probably still weren’t over the shock, and perhaps, like Haymitch, they were just too cynical to seriously mentor. Or maybe there is an older victor from the district who took on most of the mentorship roles. I like the idea of that relationship between 2 very new victors who don’t have any idea what they’re doing. Would it be antagonistic? Sibling-like? Would they just avoid each other? On the other hand, I also like thinking of our main character being the first victor of their district, and they have to deal with all that responsibility on their own.

Anyway, our character is a mentor, and one of the tributes reaped just happens to be someone they know very well. I’m thinking either a best friend or love interest. I also thought that they could be someone they don’t know well, but through the course of mentoring, they get to know each other and become friends/love interests/people who care about one another. But I think I’d rather they be invested from earlier on. There’s always potential for friendship at the start to turn into romance later. And one that feels slightly forbidden at that, between a mentor and a tribute.

(I don’t mean to over-emphasize the romance aspect. I noticed a lot of people looking forward to the potential romances in the new book, while others criticizing those for missing the main message of the story. I’m just trying to be realistic. This is YA, after all. There most likely will be a romantic storyline at some point. But I am trying to avoid any love triangles in this pitch.)

So our main character and their tribute friend are plotting for how to survive the Games. Obviously our character wants to keep their friend alive, ideally to victory. While in the past, they might not have cared as much, disillusioned to the whole ordeal, this time they have a reason to care about the circumstances of these Games.

As for the other tribute, the one who’s not the friend? Who knows, who cares? But really, the other tribute will probably be the focus of the other mentor (if there is one), or else will notice the favoritism toward the other tribute and feel resentful. That could brew conflict, especially once we’re within the Games themselves.

The Games Themselves

It being the 10th anniversary of the Games, you know they’re gonna make it special. Like the clock design in the 75th games, I figure this one will have some kind of special theme to it. What might that theme be, you may ask? I don’t know. I’m not writing the book. But really, I can’t worry about the specifics right now. Let’s just settle on...an arena in which you can only travel up, eventually meeting in the middle at the peak of a mountain with nowhere to go. Imagine a vertical-only course in which you have no choice but to climb, since there are cliffs and maybe even rising floodwaters that force you to keep moving. There’s a concept. I just made it up as I went. I guess that was specific.

Anyway, our main character is only concerned about the wellbeing of their friend within the arena. We get to see the behind-the-scenes of trying to connect with sponsors and influence the Gamemakers. Sure, there will still be some of that watching-the-Games-on-TV stuff, but our main character will still be much more directly involved with the action than if they were just stuck in their district. Also, we might see more daily life in the Capitol while our main character deals there.

Within the Games themselves, you know how it goes. People die, get killed. Our character’s friend will do all right for themselves, making it pretty close to the last few tributes in the arena. But I do expect that the friend will die. I know, tragic. But again, it just feels too predictable to make the tribute we focus on the most win the game. The circumstance of the friend’s death could be as simple as slipping and falling. They could’ve been killed by someone from another district. But now I’m liking the idea that they could be killed by their fellow tribute, the one ignored by our mentor. This tribute might end up actually winning the Games, causing a conflict of emotions in our main character as this new victor (who they’ll regularly have to be around from here on out) is the reason their friend is dead, yet they are expected to be proud that their district has yet another victor.

And now I come back to the idea of the main character being from a Career District, before the “Career” part even became a thing. Maybe seeing their friend die and feeling like they could’ve done more makes them feel guilty or responsible. Maybe they see that their mentorship wasn’t good enough. Something triggers them to want to be better, to make sure that deaths like their friend’s don’t happen again. Maybe they institute the “Career” ideology and promote it through the district, preparing the children there to fight to win. And there you have the start of a beast of the Hunger Games.

Other cool things that could be included

As I’ve said, I think a look at life in the Capitol would be interesting. Who’s leader/president at this time, and what are they like? Surely it’s not still Snow. I’ve had thoughts that he could be older than he looks, what with all his surgeries. But according to the wiki page, Snow was 1 when the 1st Games took place. That would make him 10 in this book. Possibly a cameo of a weird child in the Capitol? Maybe. (Imagine the book being narrated by him, a 10-year-old kid who would grow up to be a dictator, having no concept of life before the Games existed...scary.)

I wonder where their technology is at this point in Panem’s history. During Katniss’ time, it is quite advanced, but what about 64 years before that time? Where are they in technological and biological advancements? Do they even have forcefields around the tributes’ living quarters so they don’t jump and kill/hurt themselves? Maybe something happens in this book that gives them the reason to install those...

Speaking of Katniss, I know it would be cool to tie it back to her in some Skywalkerian way. But I actually don’t think that’s necessary, and I just don’t want a rehash of her same story. Perhaps some allusions are fine, but there’s enough time and distance from Katniss that I see very little reason to make it about her.

It’s late, and I really don’t know what more there is to say. I’m excited for the story, regardless of what it will actually involve. If it’s anything like my little prediction, great! But I’m not the author. And I trust that Suzanne will tell the story that she feels is the most necessary to be told.

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jungblue · 7 years ago

Text

mixtape (m)

pairing: min yoongi x reader

genre: smut, fluff, comedy / college, podcast personality au

word count: 15,610

description: Two mystery students from your college run the podcast dubbed ‘mixtape.’ It’s become a sort of phenomenon around campus, listened to by almost everyone. In their most recent episode they discussed various study methods... One of them being oh so tempting.

“This week’s topic is—” Sugar started, of course only to be swiftly interrupted by the second half of the two-man show podcast that had sort of gone viral around your college campus.

But regardless of being cut short, the metallic nature of his voice still managed to worm its way directly into your chest, where it festered into something so captivating that you couldn’t help but sigh. It was cool to the touch as the syllables of his chosen words sent an intrusion of goosebumps along your arms and thighs. It had a certain gravel, a deepness that you could sometimes feel in the pit of your belly if you listened to him long enough with your eyes closed. However, more times than not, the grit would be severed with a vibrant laugh that rang so sweetly that you could feel it clamoring around your heart with giddiness on its heels.

“—Studying! So sexy, right?” Jay interjected mid-sentence, something that anyone who listened to their weekly episodes would quickly learn is a norm.

However, there were times of course where Sugar was allowed the courtesy of going off on long tangents without his friend’s interruption, and in those moments his voice was hypnotic, if you had to put it simply. It tugged you beneath the current of concentration until you were pressing the volume button on your phone to raise his vocals higher. The small hitch of his breath, or exhale against the mic when he would sigh due to the topic at hand, they made you lean in closer to the invisible man on the other side of the pre-recorded audio that filtered through your headphones.

“Another Jay-led interruption here on mixtape, wow how shocking?” Sugar deadpanned, his sarcasm making you grin to yourself in amusement.

“He loves me guys, don’t let him fool you just because he likes to act all cool and stoic while recording. He’s a big softie, honestly.”

“Really? I’m the softie? Who was the one I found crying on their couch the other day because Bridge to Tera-fucking-bithia was on TV?”

“Oh, you really wanna go there?” Jay scoffed, a comeback already settling on his tongue. After all, this sort of playful banter, along with their personality dynamic was the main reason that the podcast worked so well. Because really it was just half an hour of them going on tangents and talking shit to each other. “You cried for hours over that fucking sports anime, Ace of some shit. I had to buy you like three pizzas just to calm your ass down — which you never Venmo’d me back for… Just sayin’.”

“First of all, it’s Ace of Diamond, asshole, and you didn’t play sports in high school so you just don’t get it. Their pain and suffering, the loss, the goddamn character development. It’s just — okay, never mind I’m not getting into this with you because honestly I’m getting a bit teary-eyed thinking about it again.”

They both snorted in laughter over the microphone, and you couldn’t help but do the same because it was honestly infectious. Their conversations were always so natural and funny.

“Okay now that we’re done talking about shit that makes us cry, are you ready to get into this week’s topic that you so rudely interrupted the introduction of?” Sugar asked after they both came down from the high of their breathless amusement.

“I mean it’s studying, dude. Can you blame me? I’m just gonna tell everyone that I really wanted to avoid this topic at all cost, but Sugar here just wouldn’t budge. So if you use our voices as a monotonous background for your descent into sleep tonight, I legit won’t blame you.”

“Nothing is monotonous when it comes to you, so let’s not lie. This is a podcast of integrity dammit.” You heard the playful slam of Sugar’s palm against whatever surface they were presumably sitting at. You giggled slightly at his sliver of humor until he continued. “But really, even though it isn’t the most exciting topic ever, this is still a college podcast, and Jay and I need to cover all of our bases, so you just gotta bear with us. But as a special treat for suffering through my tips and tricks, next week’s episode is gonna be one that I’m sure you were all expecting eventually—”

“—College sex life! That’s right, my friends, we’re gonna get all down in that bow chicka wow wow nitty gritty—”

“I hate you so much,” Sugar said, but you could definitely hear the way his voice shook with laughter at Jay’s ridiculous commentary. That was another reason his voice enticed you so much. It was just really raw, always managing to convey the smile, annoyance, distraction, or frustration that no doubt laced his expression. It was funny, you had absolutely no idea as to what the appearance of your favorite podcast personality was, yet you still managed to picture him inside of your head as he spoke with each and every emotion that his weekly episodes brought him and his lively counterpart to. The curl of his lip or roll of his eyes somehow manifested themselves in your thoughts so vividly. “You sound like such a fratty douche, maybe you wanna reel it in a bit?”

“Well I am fratty, but not the douche kind.”

“Debatable, but admittedly sometimes I do forget that you’re part of Delta Delta Dickhead.”

“Fuck you.”

“That’s next week’s topic, sorry for the wait.”

“Ohhh nice segue, dude. But you’re still an asshole. Anyways yeah, next week’s gonna be a lot of fun, you’ll get to hear all about Sugar’s freshman year filled with pointless Tinder dates and chlamydia surprises — so, so much fun.” It seemed that you and Sugar sputtered violently in surprise at the sudden proclamation.

“Really? You’re gonna rub freshman year fuck-ups in my face?”

“That’s what friends are for.”

“You mean shitty friends,” Sugar proposed.

“Tomato, tomato,” Jay replied by saying the words in the exact same way, with what seemed like a shrug.

“That’s… Not even how the saying — okay, whatever. Moving on. Studying. What’re your tips, and don’t you dare say things about not cramming or waiting until the last minute. Nobody wants to hear that Harvard shit.”

“Don’t be mean, kids from Harvard might listen to this.”

“I mean it was a compliment more than anything. Their time management skills are just alien to me. But the bigger point here is that if there’s anyone from Harvard listening to this podcast please make me the CFO or something if you end up creating the next Facebook or whatever. Just don’t screw me over like Eduardo. I saw The Social Network, buddy,” Sugar warned as he moved in closer to the mic it seemed.

“Great movie.”

“Fucking fantastic movie.”

“No biases whatsoever.”

“Of course, they would never.”

“But anyways, so my studying tips,” Jay paused for a moment, already sighing. “See this is why I didn’t wanna do this topic. Nothing is fun about studying. How can I even make this interesting?”

“Guess you’re just not as creative as me,” Sugar replied, most certainly smirking as he did so.

“Okay, big shot, you go then. What’s your tip?”

There was a small pause before he answered, and it made your breath hitch a little. “Well, it’s a bit not safe for work.”

“You’re lying,” Jay exclaimed immediately. “What the hell kind of studying are you doing? Studying pussy, maybe. Not fucking physics.”

“Well you’re not wrong, I mean on my part at least. But it can definitely be applied whatever way you want, depending on who needs to study.”

You felt yourself sit up straighter against your headboard, slightly (or very) intrigued by whatever this studying tip was.

“Okay, just spill already. Now you’ve got me interested. If this is any good I’m actually gonna be pissed that you didn’t tell me sooner.”

“You’ll live,” Sugar laughed. “But the only thing you’ll need is flash cards.”

“Oh my god, wow I’m getting so hard just thinking about those flexible paper rectangles. Mhm, oh yeah.”

“I’m ignoring you. Anyway, once you have the flash cards you’ll have to find yourself a consensual study partner who’s in the mood to go down on you—”

“What the fuck? That took a turn. I mean a good turn, but still,” Jay interrupted for unsurprisingly the millionth time, and so Sugar simply continued without acknowledging the outburst.

“Once you have the agreement set up, it’s pretty straight forward. Get your stack of flashcards with everything that you need to know for that exam, and for every one that you get right you get some of that sweet, lovely oral stimulation, and for every one that you get wrong you obviously get nothing. Or you could always be mean and push the incentive higher by saying you get nothing for the next five or so cards if you get one wrong. But yeah that is my studying tip.”

You felt your tongue almost involuntarily run along the top of your teeth. There was even a slight flare of pressure in your lower stomach as you imagined the idea of participating in the scenario that you wish you had heard of sooner. Maybe you needed to pick up some flashcards…

“Wait, wait, wait,” Jay finally said after a pause that you chalked off as astonishment. “Dude, that’s… That’s fucking genius. You should’ve written that on a blimp and gotten it flown over campus. Like… Sex and productivity, now that is revolutionary.”

Sugar simply snorted in response. “Okay, it’s not that crazy. I’m definitely not the first person to do it. But I thought I would share for all the unknowing parties out there. So yeah, if you’re gonna have sex, might as well study for bio or whatever while you’re at it.”

“Okay real question though,” Jay suddenly asked, curiosity brimming. “So you’ve actually done this before, right?”

“Obviously, I wouldn’t recommend it if I hadn’t,” He responded simply.

“So obviously the most important question is… Did they pass the test?”

Oh yeah, that was sort of the important part, wasn’t it? That the sex wouldn’t be so distracting that your productiveness wilted because of it. So with that in mind, you waited carefully to hear Sugar’s answer.

“Dude, okay so this might sound like I’m bragging, but I promise it’s just the truth. Every time I’ve done it,” He paused for a second, building the anticipation. “They set the fucking curve.”

You felt your blood spike instantly, and then you had to accept the fact that you just got the tiniest bit turned on by the idea of good grades. What the hell was wrong with you?

“Shut the fuck up. You’ve gotta be lying. I don’t’ believe you. I refuse to believe you, dude.” You could tell that Jay was smiling through his disbelief, even if his words were skeptical.

“I swear. No bullshit. One-hundred percent, all of them.”

“What… the fuck? I don’t know if I should believe you, but to save us from arguing until the end of time on the episode I’m just gonna go with it for now. But like, wow… Oral and studying, who knew?”

“I promise I’m not lying, but yeah try it out guys. Flashcards are sold at your local Wal-mart, Staples, and just about everywhere else you could possibly think of.”

“Yeah, might be kind of weird though. If someone’s about to go down on you, and you’re just like, uhm hey can you read these flashcards to me in this weird study tactic I learned off of a podcast,” He laughed, and yeah you had to agree. It sounds nice in theory, but actually asking someone to do it might be a tad awkward.

“Just put it in the bio of your Tinder profile. ‘Just looking for someone to do the mixtape flashcard study tip with.’ If they get it and are interested, then there you go.”

“First message: You got the flashcards?”

You snickered at the idea, as did the two boys in your headphones.

“Yeah, you’re definitely not getting a reply with a lead-off question like that.”

“Definitely not. I don’t care if you look like KJ Apa, you’re not getting a response.”

“Who’s that?”

“Archie from Riverdale.”

Sugar hummed in response. “Haven’t seen it. It’s that CW show, right?”

“Yes, and oh my god, I can’t believe we’re friends. It’s so good. Like the dialogue is kind of ehh, but the actual story is addicting.”

“Wow, sorry I didn’t take you for someone that would enjoy CW shows.”

“Fuck off, Gossip Girl transcends time and space.”

“You’re in a frat, of course you’d like that boujee shit,” He quipped playfully.

“Not true. I had a girlfriend in high school who watched it, and like… dude before you know it you’re invested and crying that Serena gets everything that Blair wants in life. It’s fucked up.”

You smiled, partly due to your own enjoyment of the teen-socialite drama, but also because of Sugar’s laughter that he was clearly trying to stifle. “Good to know,” He ended up saying with light traces of humor still managing to catch his words. “But what were we even talking about? Study tips? Yeah, so—”

“Dude!” Jay suddenly exclaimed, making you jump slightly.

“Fuck, don’t yell. What is it?” Sugar replied with a hint of irritation.

“They’re giving out free milkshakes and t-shirts at the quad.”

Sugar sighed, because just like you they were college students, and who in their right mind could pass up free stuff on that type of budget. You certainly hadn’t when you had heard about it yesterday, when the duo seemed to have recorded this week’s episode. “Right in front of my fucking podcast, really?”

“Sorry, no post-coital cuddling this week. Gotta run, and I’m sure by the time all of you hear this you’ll have gotten your milkshakes and shirts too, so no hard feelings?”

“Yup, so until next time I’m Sugar.”

“And I’m Jay. Don’t run the on-campus store out of flashcards while we’re gone, you filthy animals. Or totally do because that would be hilarious.”

“Christ, milkshakes are running out. Let’s go.”

The podcast ended with that, Sugar abruptly demanding to quicken the pace in the name of free milkshakes. You don’t know why but the pure relatability of it made you smile, even if just the tiniest bit. You reached up, pulling the headphones out of your ears before lying flat against your bed.

Today had been a rather stressful one with studying for your upcoming anatomy test. It was more information than you could ever hope to cram into your head with the small frame of time until the actual exam. But even with that looming thought eating at the back of your mind, you still felt a lightness in your chest, and you knew what it was because of.

You weren’t sure what it was about them specifically. Their personalities most certainly, their dynamic as friends, the side-tangents they would go off into about The Social Network and Gossip Girl, or the fact that they would stop mid-podcast to high-tail it to the quad for free shit. But it helped to distract you, even if it was only for a little while, away from the stresses that your own life faced. It was strange, that two random guys that went to your college and did a weekly podcast, were able to make your day just the tiniest bit less suffocating. You didn’t know what they looked like or even what their real names were, but somehow it just felt like you could take a breather for the amount of time that you listened to them banter.

But most certainly the strangest thing was the fact that you had developed a weird… Crush? Yeah, that was probably the only word for it. You had developed some strange… feelings towards the guy who used the alias Sugar. It was odd, that over the months of listening to him speak, his characteristics coming through more and more, you just found something about him so alluring. His voice, personality, ideals, sense of humor, just everything pulled you in, only for you to sadly realize that you had no idea who he even was. You didn’t even know his damn name. That was honestly what you wanted to know the most. Of course, you would love to know what he looked like so you could put a face to the voice, but having his name, there was just something more personal about that.

You could feel yourself drifting with that thought. Names scattered around inside of your head. None of them feeling right as you tried to tie it to the voice you had become so attached to over the past several months. Your eyes closed, the deep grip of sleep pulling you farther from consciousness.

You wish you could say that you had gotten to stay like that for a while, peacefully napping, thinking about the mysterious podcast personality, but you got maybe an hour in before your phone started ringing violently from where you had dropped it on the bed after finishing the podcast.

“Fuck,” You mumbled to yourself, voice scratchy as you blindly reached for the device, only vaguely looking at who the caller was before swiping to answer it. “Yes?”

“Someone sounds tired,” Jimin said, sounding slightly amused with your groggy state.

“Yeah, I was napping, you ass.”

“Well I have an important question,” He replied, ignoring the insult. But Jimin had been your best friend for years, so you were both used to the banter by now.

“Better be a million-dollar question.”

He let out a tiny laugh before replying. “Oh, I know you’ll be interested. Did you listen to the new mixtape episode yet?”

You felt yourself wake-up slightly, just at the mention of it. “Yes, I have.”

“Good,” Jimin said plainly, as if he had already known your answer. Which of course he had because he knows you always stop everything and listen the second a mixtape episode drops.

“Why?” You asked, but this was Jimin, your best friend, and so you weren’t at all that surprised by his response.

“Let’s go get some flashcards.”

﹍﹎﹍﹎﹍﹎

It had been four days since the episode that had caused, what a good portion of your college-campus deemed as ‘flashcard frenzy,’ had dropped. The bookstore, nearby Wal-Marts and office supply chains were suddenly selling flashcards at an alarming rate, so much so that they moved displays of them to the front just for easy access. It was quite honestly the most hilarious phenomenon you had ever witnessed. Too bad you had yet to try the study tip.

Your test was already so close, and you didn’t have time to play around with the idea. You needed to pass, you needed an A, you needed to set the goddamn curve, you apparently needed fucking Sugar between your legs. Christ, what was wrong with you? You didn’t even know the guy. Not his name, face, anything.

But beside that fact, your mind was coursing with stress and possibly every shred of knowledge you could have about anatomy without knowing the important details, and it was beginning to take its toll on you. You could barely keep your eyes open in your other classes today and not even Jimin coming by to cheer you up with food helped. But regardless of that you needed to at least try and study some more, which is why you were currently wandering the library in search of an open table. However, it somehow seemed that every person enrolled in your school had a test coming up because all of the tables were packed, not a spare seat in sight.

“Why, why, why?” You mumbled to yourself as you continued to pass table after table that held zero vacancies.

It was loud on the first floor of the library, as it was mostly used for group studying, or just people who disliked pure silence. You were the latter, unable to concentrate in the cold atmosphere where a sudden cough, or someone rummaging through their backpack could send your focus off the rails. You much preferred a constant stream of noise.

You made your way through the entirety of the first floor with no luck in finding a table to study at, and you were close to giving up and going to the on-campus Starbucks because it never failed to be noisy in there, but then in the corner of your eye you caught sight of a table with a free chair. You breathed a sigh of relief too soon however, because you quickly realized that there was someone sitting on the opposite side of the relatively tiny table compared to the rest in the library.

Normally you would’ve tried to search around a bit more, because you didn’t like feeling as if you were invading someone’s personal space, but knowing how packed out the building was, you knew this was as good as it was going to get. So you tentatively began your strides forward until you were approaching the table, the stranger’s hair hanging down over his eyes as he stared at a textbook.

You internally raised your pitch into a politer tone. “Uhm, hi. Is anyone sitting here?”

In hindsight, you probably should’ve known the second his beanie-clad head lifted, sending a sudden swirl of something hot to the pit of your stomach, that it was a pretty obvious sign that you were beyond fucked. His feline eyes met yours, seemingly cold at first glance, barely covered by his fringe from beneath his hat. You felt yourself gulp slightly, breath stalling just by a fraction as the question you had asked him approximately three seconds prior started to fade. So much so, that when he answered with a kind and polite, “no there isn’t, you can take it,” you kept standing and staring at him like an idiot before you registered the words moments later, and with ample amounts of clumsiness finally took the seat across from him.

“Thank you,” You mumbled, slightly embarrassed of your less than stealth gawking. You thought you even managed to catch an amused smile tracing the stranger’s lips as you snuck another glance, only causing another wave of heat to streamline its way to your face.

You tried to keep your head down as much as possible as you pulled your laptop, papers, and… flashcards, from you backpack, in order to cut down on the chances of accidently staring at your tablemate again. However, this proved more difficult than expected. Your eyes almost forcibly prying themselves from the mess of your studies to catch a glance at the way he was leaning his temple against the capped end of his pen. You found the gesture cute for some reason, especially as he began to tap it against his skin, presumably as he thought through whatever he was working on. Curiosity seized you further as you slid your sights downwards to the textbook sitting before the stranger. Even upside down you could tell that the cover read ‘Calculus’ in bold letters, with several equations that you had forgotten long ago in high school, branching out as a decoration of sorts.

Math, definitely not your strong suit. But really you weren’t sure if you even had what you could call a strong suit in any subject… Especially as you finally returned your eyes to your own belongings, the power points glaring off of your computer screen and a high stack of flash cards sitting so dauntingly before you.

You sighed deeply as you tried to further arrange your side of things on the small table, the reluctance to get started pitted its way deep into the recesses of your procrastination-geared brain. It was in this flurry of trying to figure out where you should even start, that you noticed the low-battery of your laptop. You quickly pulled out the charger from your backpack, already moving to lean underneath the table when you realized that the outlet was in fact right next to the boy in front of you. You paused, realizing that there was no way to get to it without asking him to plug it in for you. You had barely been able to ask for a seat without stuttering and staring like an idiot, so it looked to be time for round-two of making yourself look like a fool in front of unreasonably cute guys.

You inhaled, preparing your pitch to be a bit higher, “Hi, sorry to bother you again,” You began, voice drenched with that robotic politeness that people tended to reserve for strangers. He immediately looked up, one headphone hanging haphazardly out of his ear, and again you felt a slight stutter oncoming. Goddammit, why were his lips so pouty? His eyes so… smoldering? “But, uhm, do you think you could plug this in for me?” You managed to finish, motioning towards the charger in your hand.

His blank expression shifted into something softer. “Yeah, no problem,” He answered simply as he reached across the table to take the cord from your hand.

“Thank you,” You replied as he leaned down to plug the charger into the wall.

You were expecting a return to silence after the short exchange, already pulling your headphones out of the middle pocket of your hoodie in fact, but it was the sudden resurgence of his voice that had you pausing.

“What’re you stressing over?” He asked, his voice a bit louder, a bit clearer, and for some very odd reason a bit… familiar? You weren’t quite sure of why this was, but his tone felt almost nostalgic for some reason. It sent a flooded rush through your chest as he somehow managed to illicit a strange sense of comfort around you. “Only been here for like five minutes and you already seem sort of done with it, y’know?” He was smiling as he finished his question, and wow did that only make your throat run dryer.

You watched the way his lips curved to one side in a sly sort of smile. It was the type of smile that seemed implicative even when it was totally innocent, the sideways grin of confident curiosity pulling on the nerves hiding deep within your belly.

“Anatomy,” You finally answered after staring a bit too long again. “Yeah… I’m sort of fucked.” You decided to answer bluntly, because really there was no point in fronting when the overwhelming anxiety could be seen clearly on your face.

“Definitely been there.” His smile reached his eyes at this, the gums of his teeth peeking through, which almost instantly transformed his grin into something less innately cocky and more so candy sweet. “And I mean like actually been there. I was a biomed major before I switched to engineering.” He raised his textbook to show off the cover filled with various math equations.

“Oh my god, did you pass? —Fuck, sorry you don’t have to answer that.” The question passed your lips before you could process that it might be a bit rude. But he simply laughed in response to your sudden exclamation.

“No, you’re good. But yeah, I passed. With an ‘A’ actually — not to brag.”

Your mouth dropped. “Seriously? How the hell? It’s so much information.”

“Just… Proper study motivation,” He chuckled, and you weren’t sure of what he meant until you saw his eyes dart towards your flashcards. He had only looked at them for maybe half a second at most, and yet the action suddenly had a rush of heat climbing up the back of your neck. You could tell from the slight smirk marking his lips that he knew exactly what he had done, and it only made your face grow warmer. However, thankfully it didn’t seem as if he was expecting you to answer because he immediately changed the subject. “But really it’s not as hard as it seems. You just have to know how to compartmentalize everything, so it’s not so overwhelming.”

How the hell was he going to go from insinuating that you just needed some oral motivation to compartmentalization is key? But not that you were complaining… Especially if he was insulating himself.

However, you were still a bit flustered, so your response came out a bit stuttered. “Uhm y-yeah, easier said than done.”

He seemed to enjoy this reaction from you though. He bit at his lip slightly as he smiled, clearly in amusement form your response.

“My name’s Yoongi by the way,” He said suddenly, allowing you to turn your attention from his mouth and onto something that was appropriate.

“I’m Y/N.”

“Well, Y/N, I’ll let you get back to studying.” After that the boy you now knew as Yoongi leaned slightly over the tiny table to get a better look at the page you were on. “Looks like you’re on the skull. Just a tip, focus on the foramen and the openings. She’s obsessed with questions about contents. I know it’s a lot easier to start studying when you have something to focus on.”

“Yeah that does actually help. Thank you.” You flashed him a quick smile before turning your eyes down to your textbook. You found yourself taking Yoongi’s advice, focusing first on the contents of the openings in the skull — too bad there were about ten million fucking openings in the goddamn skull. And it was after about thirty minutes of just trying to memorize them straight from the textbook that you realized it just wasn’t working. It looked like those flashcards were going to come in handy after all.

You felt yourself about to reach for them on the edge of the table, but then you remembered something, causing you to hesitate. It was the way Yoongi’s eyes had locked onto the flashcards with insinuation earlier that made a chill run down your spine. You wanted to reach for them, but for some reason you felt self-conscious… But maybe you were being silly? Maybe it had just been coincidence? And besides that, you honestly didn’t have time to waste with wondering. Your test was in two days, you needed to focus on anatomy and not the possible things that this boy you had spoken less than ten sentences to could do with his mouth.

After a few moments to collect yourself and continuing to revel in your dramatics, you finally reached for the pack of flashcards. You couldn’t help but let your eyes wander to Yoongi’s face as you did so in order to gauge his reaction. But to your surprise there wasn’t one. His eyes kept themselves trained onto the pages of his textbook. Because of this you felt rather silly. See it wasn’t a big deal, you had just made it one. You felt yourself relax into the chair once more as you began to pick at the plastic surrounding the cards until it finally opened. You pulled out a couple from the stack and then readied yourself to start writing out all of the contents that you needed to know.

However, it was the second glance you spared him as your pen hit the paper (because his attractiveness was an obvious distraction for you) that you saw his crooked grin once more. His eyes met yours, but this time he didn’t pull away, instead he kept you locked in. You felt your breath catch in your throat for a second, until you finally just lost it at how completely insane this entire situation was, since clearly it was no longer a secret that both of you knew what was running through the other’s mind. You released the tiniest of laughs and a playful roll of your eyes as you began to tap the end of your pen against the flashcard, still not breaking eye contact.

“Need help with something?” Yoongi asked with a flirty smile, not even trying to hide his motivations now.

You couldn’t help but scoff at the blatancy, even though you knew that it was affecting you in the exact way that he was intending it to. “Do you offer help to everyone that sits across from you at the library?” You felt yourself lean over the table as you said the words, and Yoongi seemed to follow your lead, leaving the smallest of spaces between the two of you.

“Not at all,” He replied, confidence dripping past his lips. “Just you, honestly. You’re someone that looks like they need help focusing, who happens to have an unopened pack of flashcards that they seemed to have purchased for a certain reason. But please tell me if I’m wrong or if you’re just not interested. If that’s the case, then I’ll be happy to help you study in whatever… mundane way that you want. I’ll even spot you a coffee.”

Your face must have distorted into something of absolute disbelief, because Yoongi suddenly couldn’t control his laughter, putting his cute, gummy-smile back on display. But eventually you reined your expression back in as you let the madness of what was being offered to you settle in.

“Hmm, free coffee or oral… Tough choice, honestly,” You whispered across the table so that anyone close by wouldn’t hear.

At this Yoongi propped his arm onto the table and rested his head against his palm. “Well, since I know that anatomy struggle, I could also spot you some coffee regardless.”

“Wow, you must really wanna go down on me?” You asked, amused, and he simply shrugged as if to say, you’re not wrong. “Why the interest?”

“Do I have to have a big reason?” He asked, letting his hand fall back onto the table. “You’re cute, you need help on a test for a class I’ve taken… I’m just offering a friendly service.” He never stopped grinning at you in that crooked sort of way that made you feel like you were in the corner of some house party instead of the library.

“That’s it? With those standards you should give head to half the girls on campus then.”

“Well, half the girls on campus didn’t sit in front of me with a pack of flashcards meant for something a little less than academic, now did they? Plus, you’ve just looked really cute sighing at your textbook for the past thirty minutes.”

“Thanks, dickhead,” You scoffed playfully. “Glad my suffering is cute to you.”

“It’s very cute,” He mused. “But how about this? You don’t actually have any flashcards done, but lucky for you I remember the contents of the skull, so I can quiz you anyways. Wanna do a practice round.”

Your brows furrowed in confusion, but admittedly it piqued your interest. “Practice round? Don’t exactly think you’re brave enough to lay me out on this table and just go for it in the middle of the library.”

“Wanna see if that’s true?” He asked, a certain fire flaring across his eyes. It sent a swirl of arousal through your lower stomach, but you quickly pulled it back in.

“Maybe another time. So what’s this practice round all about?”

Your question had him moving his chair closer to the table, in fact it had him moving as close as he possibly could, with his stomach now pressed completely against the wooden edge.

“I’m gonna ask you a question, and please feel free to say no, okay?” He whispered, once again leaning over the table.

“Okay,” You nodded with a bit of excitement.

You watched as Yoongi looked from side to side to make sure that there was no one close by. Everyone around you was a good enough distance away that they couldn’t hear what you were saying, and those that were walking past your table seemed to be doing so quickly enough that they wouldn’t be able to catch anything either.

“Can I touch you?” He finally asked, his whisper turning huskier.

Your eyes widened, lust building. “H-here?”

“No one will be able to see, promise. But if you don’t want to, that’s totally okay too.”

The thud of your heart was beating with a dangerous mix of nerves and exhilaration as the words settled between the two of you. “Like… Touch how?” You finally asked after a couple of seconds of mulling it over.

“Just over your pants. If you move your chair closer our knees will be touching. No way anyone will see anything.”

You sighed, smiling because you know that you really shouldn’t do this, but the answer has already been decided by the wetness between your thighs.

“Why’re you tempting me like this? I just met you. I don’t even know your last name, and I’m about to let you basically finger me in a goddamn library.”

“Would knowing my last name make you feel less guilty?” He chuckled.

“Maybe?”

“It’s Min. My major is audio engineering. I’m a senior, graduating in spring. Let’s see… I love rap music. I have a dog named Holly… Any other random facts you’d like to know?”

Somewhere in that rambling sentence of just listening to him speak about himself, your chair was already pushing itself closer to the edge of the table until your knees were clashing with Yoongi’s beneath it. “How about how fast you can make me cum?” You asked boldly, your hesitance turning to dust the second his hand found its way on top of your thigh.

“Wow, someone’s not as shy as they let on.” Yoongi tongued along the top of his teeth as he broke out into a grin. “Well, if we were talking normal circumstances I’d say quicker than you’d probably want, but since this is a game about what you know, then I can’t really say.”

“I literally met you an hour ago…” You trailed off, throwing your hands into your face to hide the embarrassment. “Gahh, I can’t believe I’m about to do this!”

“You know this is only making you cuter, right?” You heard him say, your face still covered. “But really, if you’re uncomfortable then we don’t have to.” You felt your hands suddenly being pulled from your face, and Yoongi appeared with a look of sincerity.

“No, that’s the thing. I really want to, even though I know I shouldn’t.” You sighed, dropping your head onto your textbook. “Why do you have to be so hot? It’s not fair.”

“Oh, so you’re just using me for my good looks then?”

“Don’t forget about your brain,” You said. After all you were only considering this because he had taken anatomy… Yeah, totally no other reason.

“Ah, glad my intellect hasn’t been overshadowed by the things you’re picturing my mouth and hands doing to you right now.” You bit at your lip to try and stifle the grin that threatened to split across your face, and Yoongi seemed highly amused with your failed attempt.

After that you let a few moments of silence settle between the two of you. You tapped your fingers across the wooden part of the table, heavy sighs of contemplation coming one after another. But Yoongi didn’t seem to be impatient at all. He simply continued to sit across from you, the slightest upward quirk laying at the corner of his mouth as he waited for your permission to start this game.

So finally, with one final sigh that rivaled all of those that came before it, you decided it was time to begin.

“Fine. First question.”

Yoongi’s grin splintered further at this. “You sure?”

“Yes. First question, please?”

“Okay,” He started, and then suddenly you felt the hand that had been resting on your knee for the better part of ten minutes began to move along the inside of your bare thigh. You thanked yourself heavily for wearing the loosest of jogging shorts today. “I’ll start off with an easy one.”

You simply nodded, too afraid that your voice would break if you tried to speak.

“Contents of the hypoglossal canal?” He asked the question as he leaned closer into the table, his eyes turning darker, more carnal.

“Hypoglossal nerve.” You answered quickly, breath stalling in your throat as his fingers pressed further into your skin.

“Good,” He whispered, something sweet in his voice. “But just relax, okay?”

His hand didn’t move, and you could tell it was because he was waiting for your limbs to lose some of their tension. You nodded, taking in a deep breath as you let yourself sink more freely into the chair, before reaching beneath the table to place your hand on top of Yoongi’s.

“My first reward, please?” You said, finally pushing any source of hesitance from your voice.

Yoongi’s grip tightened suddenly, his expression shifting. “Yes, ma’am,” He said, allowing his hand to finally roam.

Your resulted gasp was as silent as you could possibly manage. So deliberate, confident and precise, Yoongi felt his way slowly along the thinness of your shorts. He watched your expression carefully as he searched for the place that would make your blood run hot. He didn’t seem to be in a rush, however, just exploring at his leisure, taking in every twitch that he could illicit from you. But in the end, it was the timely flinch of your knee against his own beneath the table that tipped him off.

“Here?” He asked, smirking now that he had his thumb pressed against something that could cause you to scream out if he applied the proper stimulation. You nodded, bringing your hand up to rest your head against it, but also to have a quick way to muffle any noises that you couldn’t manage to subdue at any time during this… study session. “Okay, what number cranial nerve is that?” He asked, after finally pausing his movements, leaving his hand to rest against your hip with him thumb still snuggly pressed in place.

“Uh… t-twelve.”

“Correct.”

You watched as Yoongi let his other hand slip beneath the table until you felt it rest along the top of one of your knees. Thankfully he seemed to do this with purpose, because the second his thumb caressed along your center one more, your leg twitched, almost slamming itself into the top of the table if not for him applying pressure to keep it anchored to the ground.

“Sorry,” You breathed out in a rushed apology.

“You’re good,” He said as he continued to rub against your shorts. You could already feel the wetness beginning to cling to them, and there’s no doubt that Yoongi could feel it as well. “I’ve got you. Just focus on the answers, okay?”

“Okay.” You didn’t manage a response until he finally stilled, giving you a second to inhale the breath that you hadn’t realized was lodged statically in your throat.

“Next question: contents of foramen rotundum?”

You actually knew this one as well, but it seemed that Yoongi was intentionally giving you the easy ones since it was highly apparent that you had only been half-studying this entire time, while the other had been completely focused on him.

“Maxillary nerve.”

His expression was stoic as he began his movements once more. You supposed that one of you needed to look that way. After all, you most certainly weren’t exactly doing a great job of being discreet. Your nails dug into the table, your bottom lip indented with the harsh tug of your teeth, your feet pawing at the carpet with each motion of Yoongi’s fingers.

However, even with all of this happening… It didn’t feel like enough. It already felt so nice through your shorts, so you couldn’t help but imagine what it would be like without anything holding him back. Picturing each swipe of his finger over your bare clit was enough to have you biting at the palm of your hand.

“Next question?” He asked, relaxing his hand against you in order to relieve the pressure.

“Yes, but…” You trailed off, not entirely sure of how to ask for what you wanted.

“But? Do you want me to stop?” He sounded concerned, and you could already feel him starting to pull his hand away. But you quickly reached beneath the table, wrapping your hand around his wrist, keeping him in place.

“No, please don’t stop.” This sounded a bit whinier than you had intended, but Yoongi seemed to appreciate it greatly. His expression was smug, and for some reason you found that it made the entire experience more thrilling.

“Tell me what you want then.” His voice was deeper as he said this. And once you again you were consumed with this strange sense of familiarity it. But just as you had decided before, you couldn’t pinpoint it, and you were a bit too busy at the moment to dwell on it.

“Uhm, can I just show you?” You asked, in the tiniest of whispers, but with the way Yoongi’s eyes lit up with intrigue, you knew that he had heard you perfectly clear.

“I have a feeling I already know what it is, but just to save myself from being presumptuous…” He trailed off, and you felt his hand fall limp against your hip. “Show the way.” And so, with your hand still wrapped firmly around Yoongi’s wrist, you urged him further until his touch was guided inside the leg of your shorts, and well, he didn’t need much more direction after that, and your reaction perfectly showed that.

“Yoon—" You quickly slapped your hand over your mouth as Yoongi wasted no name pushing the barrier of your panties to the side, his touch spreading your abundant slickness around with ease. “I-I didn’t even answer the question yet.”

“It’s a freebie,” He grinned, letting his hand fall away slightly. “And seeing how wet you are I don’t think you exactly mind.”

You breathed a sigh of relief. “You’d be correct.”

“Then let’s keep going. What cranial nerve is the maxillary nerve a branch of?”

“Uhm… what was that mnemonic again?” You asked, sliding further into your chair and by consequence (or reward) further into Yoongi’s grasp. “Oh, Oh, Oh, To Touch And Feel Velvet… or something… Olfactory, Optic, Oculomotor, Trochlear — Trigeminal! …Right?”

“It’s To Touch And Feel Very Good Velvet Ah Heaven. But yeah, that’s right,” He chuckled. “But I’ve always found that the one about To Touch And Feel A Girl’s Vagina Ah Heaven, is a lot easier to remember.”

You had never rolled your eyes so fiercely yet amusedly at the same time. “Jesus Christ, are you really making that joke when—” Suddenly the pad of his thumb was pressing down along your heat, the words dissipating on your tongue.

“You were saying?”

“P-prick.”

He shrugged. “Been called worse.”

“Oh, you’re saying someone who offers sexual services to random people they meet at the library has a bit of an edgy side? Shocking.”

“Quite edgy, actually.” You both managed a laugh at this, as his motions against your center had ceased. “Next question?”

“Yup.”

“Let’s see…” Yoongi trailed off, squinting his eyes as he pondered another question. It was in this moment of hesitation that you finally got another moment to just look at him. The way his feline eyes remained so calm as he searched for something to ask you. The fringe of his hair settling outside of his beanie. He looked so casual, as if he wasn’t sitting across from you with his hand down your pants.

“What, hotshot, out of questions already?”

“Looks like someone’s just eager for me to touch them again. See how productive this game can make you?” Yes, you most certainly could see it. In fact, your legs were already starting to twitch in anticipation for the question, which thankfully came soon after. “Contents of the foramen lacerum? Go.”

Shit. “Uhm…”

“Oh, that’s too bad.” Yoongi’s expression turned smug, his hand suddenly pulling itself from your shorts, making the most embarrassing of whines leave your throat.

“Next question?” You said, eagerness taking its grip around you.

“Contents of foramen ovale?” He asked this question with a smile, probably because he knew you had no idea.

“Would it be safe to say that, that’s as far as you got in your studies? Mind was too busy thinking about… other things the entire time you’ve been here?”

“C’mon, you can’t just leave me like this.” Your voice was high-pitched and more on the pleading side, which normally would’ve stricken you with embarrassment, but thinking about his fingers on you again had your pride taking a temporary backseat.

“If I touched you even when you didn’t know the answer, then the game wouldn’t work, now would it?”

You pouted, brows furrowing, because of course you knew that he was right… but it didn’t mean you were happy about it. You let your head fall to land in your textbook, hoping that maybe you would just gain the information through osmosis instead. You heard Yoongi’s laughter ringing from above, and you simply grunted in annoyance as you turned to look at him.

“You’re mean.”

“Helping you study and fingering you is mean?”

“Okay, you’re like… a quarter mean.”

“Wow, I’d say three-fourths nice is a pretty good achievement.”

“Wouldn’t you rather be completely nice?” You asked, a bit of hope.

“That’s no fun,” He smirked. You groaned at this, burying your face further into the textbook. What the hell were you supposed to do now? Thankfully you weren’t spiraling in this self-pity for long, however, before Yoongi proposed something. “C’mon, let’s go.”

“What?” You asked, clearly confused as you lifted your head to face him. “Where are you trying to go?”

“I offered coffee, remember?” He was already standing up, shoving his things into his backpack. “And I’m going to help you actually study. No distractions… Well, not until you’re ready to be quizzed again at least.”

“Really? You’ll help me?”

His brows furrowed as he managed a laugh. “What do you think I’ve been doing this entire time?”

“I meant in a way that wasn’t… sexual,” You whispered up at him.

“Yes, I promise. The tables at the coffee shop aren’t nearly as spaced out as these. But if you’d like to try, I’m—”

“I’m good,” You giggled, standing up to playfully bat him across the chest. “Seriously though, thanks for doing this… All of this, I guess.” You could feel your face heating up, which you then thought was rather silly considering everything that just happened between the two of you in such a short span of time.

“Don’t thank me until you’ve passed.” Yoongi rounded the table to join you on the other side. His smile was warm as he pressed his hand into your lower back, ushering you to follow in his stride. “But c’mon, time for you to learn what’s in that pretty head of yours.”

﹍﹎﹍﹎﹍﹎

“Why are there so many goddamn openings in our heads with so much shit running through all of them?”

“Makes us the high-functioning organisms that we are, so we can in fact question why we have so many goddamn openings in our heads with so much shit running through them.”

You sighed. “Do you have to be so… Level-headed? Can’t you mope with me?”

“Moping is for people who don’t know the contents of the foramen lacerum. Which I do, and you don’t, so my side of the table is unfortunately a no moping zone.” Yoongi simply smiled at your annoyed squint and the pout of your lip. “C’mon, keep studying.”

“Fine,” You sighed, exasperated, as you returned to making your flashcards.

Yoongi ended up taking you to a café located across the street from your campus. It was one that you had never actually been to before, but it was nice, nonetheless. The wooden interior gave it a quaint and homey vibe that allowed you to feel a bit more at ease. Paintings and tapestries hung along the walls, all while the smell of coffee and freshly baked pastries wafted through the air.

The two of you had been here for only twenty minutes or so, but Yoongi was already pestering you to focus. Normally these pressures from friends or others wouldn’t do anything to help tighten your attention span, but a certain promise from Yoongi involving another round of ‘quizzing’ you tomorrow at his apartment helped to fuel your desire to absorb all of this information as quickly as possible. However, even with this newfound motivation, you couldn’t help yourself from taking little breaks here or there. Every couple of minutes or so after searing a new fact into your mind, you would allow yourself a moment to glance at Yoongi, who had also returned to studying.

You watched the way he bit his bottom lip in concentration as he studied the pages. His fingers skimmed down the textbook as he followed along in order to work through the problem that he had started in his notebook. It was quite amusing actually, seeing him so serious after he had been so playful and teasing earlier. You weren’t sure how long you went on like this, just studying his face as a means of distraction. But it seemed that Yoongi was more perceptive of your actions than you realized because he was suddenly locking eyes with you, a knowing look shining off of them.

“Like something you see?”

“Let’s not pretend like you don’t already know that.”

“How could I not?” He asked, an amused smile playing on his lips. “You’ve been staring at me for the past ten minutes instead of studying. You know the game isn’t gonna go much better than last time if you still don’t know anything.”

You groaned at this, only because you knew he was right of course. “I know, I know—” You started to say, but fell off when your waitress suddenly appeared next to your table, coffees in hand.

“So sorry for the wait,” She said, placing the steaming cups down in front of you.

“No, you’re fine,” You assured her. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Please let me know if you guys need anything else.”

You nodded, and then watched as she went to tend to her other tables.

“Think you’ll be able to focus now?” Yoongi asked once you turned your attention back to him.

“Yeah, I’m sorry that I’m being like this,” You said, bringing your coffee up to your lips to blow cooling breaths over it. “I’m usually a lot better focused.”

“No, you’re fine. Sometimes when you know you have a ton of shit to learn, your brain just shuts off before it even has to start.”

“Exactly,” You said before taking a sip of your coffee. “—Gah, bitter.” Your face scrunched up at the unexpected taste, and Yoongi simply laughed at your misery.

“Bitter’s best,” He said, following your lead and taking a sip but seeming to enjoy it a great deal more.

“You’re crazy,” You said as you reached for the packets of sugar sitting on your table. “Sugar?” You asked, offering a packet to him. It was a simple enough gesture, but you watched as his eyes widened suddenly, and he choked on his drink, causing coffee to spill down the sides of his mouth “Oh my god, are you okay?” You reached across the table to pat him on the shoulder, waiting for his coughing to calm.

“Yeah, I’m good,” He said, but he was still coughing a bit.

“Geez, don’t die on me now,” You joked as you grabbed a few napkins to give to him. “You’re my motivator. Can’t have you choking to death.”

After wiping at the coffee that had spilled, he seemed to return to normal. A cheeky smile plastered across his face as he returned his sights to you, eyes shining playfully. “Glad that my body is so… motivating for you.”

“Very,” You said, deciding to indulge him. “But if you’ll excuse me, I have to get back to studying now.”

“Oh, now you wanna study?”

“Gotta be ready for round two of my study session with you tomorrow, right? And who knows, maybe I’ll even help you out.” You shot Yoongi a playful wink before returning your attentions back down to your textbook, but not before seeing the intrigue flash across his eyes. “If you’re interested that is,” You said as you began to thumb along the pages.

“Quite interested,” You heard him whisper, a smile clearly heard in his voice.

﹍﹎﹍﹎﹍﹎

“Fuck okay, what else…” Yoongi trailed off as he kissed his way down the inside of your thigh, sweat dripping down his temple, anticipation for his return to your swollen heat keeping you perfectly paralyzed against his bed sheets. “Contents of the foramen spinosum?”

“Middle meningeal artery and vein, and uhm… the middle meningeal branch of the mandibular nerve.”

You sighed in relief, thankful that you weren’t going to be denied as you had a few times already since this session had begun. You had spent the entirety of yesterday studying and preparing and cramming as much information as you possibly could into your head, so that when you woke the next day and drove to the address that Yoongi had texted you once the two of you had parted ways at the coffee shop, you would be ready for anything that he threw your way. However, still you had already encountered a few inquiries from your stack of flashcards placed carefully next to the two of you, that had slipped your mind. But even with that being said, you were still much more knowledgeable than yesterday, meaning you were being rewarded much, much more.

“Ngh!” Yoongi gave you no warning as he pressed forward, his lips wrapping around and finding their way to your clit with ease. This had already been going on for some time, the slow and steady build of your orgasm rising and rising with each question, only for its fire to be extinguished every time Yoongi pulled away. And this time was certainly no exception as your fingers tugged through his hair as he receded from your center, arousal dripping from his slyly poised lips.

“Mad?” He teased, one hand gliding down your calf as the other grabbed for a flashcard.

“Not mad,” You huffed. “Just frustrated. I could’ve came like twenty minutes ago if you would just keep going.”

“I’m aware,” He chuckled as he leaned over to kiss you. “But if I just let you cum then you wouldn’t have much of an incentive to get the answer right. For example, I bet you’re not gonna forget the contents of the foramen lacerum now that you didn’t get what you want for not knowing it?”

He tilted his head at you in a way that told you to show him that he was right. You rolled your eyes, pouting, but with the correct answer already bubbling to the surface. “Internal carotid artery and internal carotid nerve plexus. Happy?”

“Yeah, and you should be too,” He whispered, nipping at the side of you neck, consequently pulling a sharp inhale towards your lungs. “You got it right. And what happens in this game when you get things right?” You watched his eyes turn dark as he made his way back down your body, head resting between your legs.

“Oh, g-god,” You stuttered, head collapsing back against the bed as Yoongi’s tongue began to caress against your wetness once more. “Just a little bit longer than the other ones, please?” You sounded high-pitched and wrecked, and it was for this reason that he seemed to oblige you. The usual couple of seconds that he had been giving you this entire time for a correct answer turned longer, more deliberate and concentrated as you began to ride your hips against his face. The breath rattled from your throat as you urged him forward by his hair, his satisfied groans making the building pressure in your stomach flare wildly. “I — Yoongi, I’m—” Your words sounded strangled as the pleasure made it difficult for you to string together a coherent sentence. But much to your dismay, that ability was returned to you all too quickly as Yoongi broke away.

“Better?”

You shook your head from side to side. “You don’t understand how close I am.”

“Trust me, I know.” He felt his way down your thighs as if to comfort you a bit, but you didn’t miss the look of pure amusement on his face as he did so.

“Just ask me another damn question.”

He simply grinned to himself as he grabbed for another flashcard. “Contents of the internal acoustic meatus?”

“Internal acoustic meatus? Okay that’s cranial nerve… seven?” You looked up at Yoongi for confirmation who gave you a small nod, but gave a motion to let you know that there was more. “Fuck, what is it? Cranial nerve seven…” You trailed off, bringing your hands up to your temples to try and knead the information out of the recesses of your brain.

“Ah, too bad. Looks like that one’s a bust.”

“Wait!” You exclaimed, grabbing Yoongi’s wrist before he could place the card in the pile of ones that you had gotten wrong. Which to your credit, honestly wasn’t many. But it still pained you seeing a tangible version of all that you could’ve had. “Just give me a second. Internal acoustic meatus: cranial nerve seven… and eight?” You paused, looking to Yoongi for confirmation, which he gave.

“Still one more.”

“One more?” You huffed in defeat because you were perfectly aware that you didn’t know it. “Fuck, whatever, just tell me.”

“Labrynthine artery.”

“What a stupid fucking name for an artery.”

Yoongi snorted in amusement at your clearly escalating frustrations. “Could be said for a lot of medical terminologies,” He said, setting the card down onto the bed. “Probably why I couldn’t keep with it.”

“Yeah, who knows, maybe I’ll be an audio engineer with you next semester.”

“I certainly wouldn’t mind that. Then I’d be studying even when I’m the one doing the giving.”

You smiled. “Yeah, wouldn’t that work out perfectly.”

“Too bad we didn’t take this class together. I’m sure you’d have so much fun edging me.”

“What do you mean?” You asked, brows furrowing. “I’m still going to have fun edging you. You have a test coming up too, right?”

“Shit, maybe I should be nicer to you then.” You both laughed as he leaned over to place soft pecks against the center of your chest as if to smooth over everything. “Ready for the last one?”

“One condition,” You said, running your fingers through the locks of his hair.

“What’s that?” He whispered as he nosed along the side of your face.

“If I get it right then you can’t stop until I cum.”

His motions paused as he brought his head back to look at you. “Rules are you have to get them all. We still have to go through the stack of ones that you got wrong.” He said this, yet you could see the tiniest break in his resolve as he bit contemplatively at his lip.

“Fine, decide after the question — which I will be getting right.”

“Ah, love the confidence.” He leaned back, picking up the final card. “Well I’d hope that you’d get this one right. Contents of the posterior ethmoidal foramen?”

“Thank fuck,” You sighed, already shifting on the bed in anticipation. “Ethmoidal artery, vein and nerve.”

“Correct.” You watched the way Yoongi’s lips tilted mischievously as he readied himself to position himself back between your legs, but before he could you cupped the side of his face, momentarily keeping him in place.

“Please?” You voice was barely that of a whisper, soft as you gave him one final, pleading glance. You could practically see his resolution fade into oblivion. His mouth parted slightly, pupils quaking as he stared back at you. You watched the way his throat bobbed as he swallowed his tenacity down, leaving room for your needs to settle in its place.

Yoongi’s eyes tore down your face, carving a certain animalistic aura into the air. Suddenly his lips were on yours, fiercer than any encounter that you had shared thus far. It made the fading ache in your belly return with full force. His hands pressed hot into your sides as you scratched your nails down his back, desire brimming from both of you until it spilled over in an almost primal craving for one another. Suddenly you felt yourself being flipped over, now straddling his thighs. The change in position was surprising but certainly welcomed. You could now see the way Yoongi’s bare chest flared with each and every breath, his eyes glimmering with lust that rivaled your own.

“C’mere,” He breathed, reaching up to cup your face, urging you back to him. Your tongue parted his lips, encouraging him to take more as the two of you seemingly couldn’t get close enough to each other. He gently teethed down the side of your jaw as your hips began to grind into his hardened cock that was pressing firmly through his pants.

“Fuck, I—” You tried to say.

“—Ride my face.”

Your eyes widened as Yoongi whispered the words against your mouth, the sudden thrill sending a new wave of yearning through your blood. “Really?” You finally responded, almost in disbelief.

“You did good today,” He said, bringing you in for a brief kiss. “Wanna let you cum.”

You felt your skin shiver as the words fanned across your lips.

“Fuck, yes,” Was all you could manage before you were sitting up and placing your knees on either side of Yoongi’s face.

You watched the way he stared up at your dripping heat, hunger lining his eyes as a shaky breath left his chest. “C’mere, baby,” He sighed as his hands found their way to your hips and wasted no time pulling them down to connect his mouth to your wetness.

“Ngh — Yoongi!” You yelled out before you could stop yourself, hands clamoring for balance against the headboard as Yoongi already had his tongue circling your clit. His hands kept you steady, however, his fingers dug into your hips as he urged you to rock against his face. “You’re so g-good.”

The praise had Yoongi groaning and loosening his hold on you. When you tilted your head to the side, you found that he was pushing his pants and boxers down his thighs. His cock was swollen and red as it slapped back against his stomach, and your breath was ragged as you watched him wrap his hand around himself, thumb sliding against the tip.

Seeing him pleasure himself as he relentlessly attended to your aching center made a burning hotness clamor inside of you. Suddenly you were reaching back, curling your fingers around his member so you could take over for him. You felt his breathy sigh against your heat as you began to pump his length. His hand fell on top of yours, tightening your grip to show you the pressure and motion that he liked. “F-fuck, yeah, just like that,” He stuttered once you got it, his hands returning to your hips, guiding you as he rode you along the flat of his tongue.

And you both just kept going like this, basking in the pleasure as your highs were brought closer and closer to their end. Though for you, since you had been on the brink of your orgasm for some time now, it started building much quicker than you had anticipated, now that Yoongi wasn’t holding back.

You felt your stomach start to tighten as the pressure readied itself to snap. Your breath seemingly caught in your throat as the hand not occupied with Yoongi’s cock, reached down to thread itself into his hair.

“Gonna c-cum,” You whispered, voice breaking to pieces as he painted slow but perfect strokes of his tongue against your center.

The sudden release of your high splintered throughout your body, sending shivers down your thighs. You released your grip on Yoongi’s cock as you fell forward, taking hold of the headboard once more to steady your shaking limbs. He didn’t seem to mind, however. He simply picked up where you left off, stroking himself along, all while he continued to lap victoriously at his accomplishments as it ran down your thighs, not stopping until you were pushing him away with overstimulation.

You peered down between your legs, meeting his gaze. It sent another crash of lust through you, staring at his swollen lips and his pupils blown out so wide. You watched as he hissed in pleasure beneath you, and you turned slightly to see that he was still stroking himself along. You were going to offer to finish him, but before you could find the energy to even say the words he was already offering his own resolution.

“Can I cum on your back?” He asked, voice raspy. “Feel free to say no—”

“—Yes.”

You were already moving down, straddling his stomach as you tilted your head to see him start to thrust into his fist. Your brows furrowed, mouth falling slack as you watched him milk himself towards his orgasm much more vigorously now that he had your permission. But the lowly grunts that you could hear beginning to build in his throat made you turn to face him once again. Your breath stuttered in your lungs as you took in the way his neck was bared back, messy bed-head fanning out across the pillow.

“Yeah, keep looking at me,” He hissed out between clenched teeth, his grip finding its way onto your thigh for something to hold onto. Your hand found his way on top of his, squeezing as you felt his stomach start to tense up beneath you as he got closer to reaching his end. “Fuck, Y/N.”

He didn’t last much longer after that, and you marveled as his face contorted in pleasure upon finding his release. It was in that same moment that you gasped at the feeling of his cum suddenly hitting the center of your back. You shivered at the feeling, glancing down to see the heavy rise and fall of Yoongi’s chest as the warmth of his release began to dribble down your skin.

“Here,” Yoongi huffed, guiding you to lay on your stomach next to him. “I’ll get a towel.”

You simply nodded at him before collapsing your head against the bed, mind hazy and exhausted. You honestly could’ve fallen asleep right there, shrouded in the scent of yours and Yoongi’s time together. It was nice for some reason, peaceful even. And this strange feeling only grew further as you felt Yoongi wipe the towel against your back, erasing the path of his seed.

“Thanks,” You mumbled.

“No problem,” He replied after setting the towel down and running his palm down your newly cleaned skin. “Got a bit ahead of ourselves, didn’t we?”

“Happy we did. I needed that.” You smiled, rolling over to cuddle into his side.

“Glad I could be of some assistance,” He chuckled.

You both just laid like that for a while, not saying anything specific, just pointless rambling. But again, it just felt nice. You watched the way his gums appeared anytime he found something particularly endearing, and the way his lips would droop at the corners anytime it wasn’t his turn to speak. You found that there were a lot of things to notice about Min Yoongi in those moments of just laying next to him, allowing your mind not to be shadowed by the stresses of—

“My test,” You groaned as you sat up, because the shadow returned almost as quickly as you had pushed it away, and now it was clouding your mind with guilt of wasting such precious study time. “I gotta go.”

You watched the corners of his mouth transform into a pout as you got off of the bed to pull on your clothes that were scattered across the floor. Once you were finally dressed, he joined your side, trusty flashcards in hand.

“You know all of these. You’re gonna do great.” He said, pressing them into your hand.

You smiled, the gesture making something kick wildly in your chest. “Thanks, Yoongi.”

“Let me know how the test goes tomorrow, okay?” He said as he led you to the doorway.

“If it goes well I’ll let you know. If you don’t hear from me it’s because I’m contemplating becoming an audio engineer.”

Yoongi split into a grin as he backed you up against the wall next to the door. “Well, I’d certainly be okay with helping you study for those classes as well.” And then he was kissing you, the gentlest kiss that the two of you had shared, in fact. It was brief, nothing extra, just the soft press of his lips against yours before he was pulling away.

“Are you secretly hoping I fail now?” You asked jokingly as you reached up to toy with a strand of his hair that was sticking up.

“I would never,” He chuckled as he softly thumbed along your jaw.

The motion felt oddly… right. As if he had done that to you a thousand times. Those types of thoughts were dangerous of course, so you pushed it into a dusty corner of your mind as soon as you registered it. Plus, you had the feeling that if you dwelled in his apartment any longer things would escalate once again, and you still had a ton of things to study for.

“Well, I gotta get outta here,” You said after a few moments.

He seemed to sigh in what you could only describe as disappointment, which admittedly made you feel a bit giddy.

“Okay,” He said, reaching to open the door for you. “Really though, let me know how it goes, yeah?”

“I will,” You smiled, leaning over to give him a quick peck on the lips before stepping over the threshold. “Bye, Yoongi.”

﹍﹎﹍﹎﹍﹎

“Finally,” You huffed to yourself as you made your way into your room, wasting no time in throwing your things to the side and laying out face first on your bed. With relief and comfort now wrapped around you, you pulled your phone from your pocket, allowing yourself to just enjoy some leisure time now that you didn’t have any tests looming over your head.

It had been two days since your study session with Yoongi and one day since your test. Yesterday after you got home from anatomy, you sent a very brief text to Yoongi, telling him that you thought the test had gone okay, before immediately knocking out and not waking up until you had to leave for class this morning. Since then you guys had been texting casually, nothing too serious, just some heavy flirtation as you tried to distract yourself from checking to see if your grade had been posted every five minutes.

However, it was as if fate knew that needed something more to keep you occupied, because as you were continuing to casually scroll through your phone, a certain notification appeared across the screen: mixtape episode 9 has just been released

“Yes!” You said aloud as you quickly reached for your backpack to retrieve your headphones. Wasting no time, you shoved them into your ears as you pressed down on the notification to take you straight to the episode. The familiar opening danced through your headphones almost immediately.

“Hello, welcome back to mixtape!” Jay began as enthusiastic as always. “We have a very exciting topic today. Sugar, would you like to remind everyone what it is?”

You heard a heavy sigh filter through the mic. And in hindsight, you should have realized right in that first heady breath why it was so exhilarating, but you decided to let the strangeness linger in the recesses of your head.

“Today’s topic is…” He trailed off, letting a moment of silence fall between them. “Oh, you’re not gonna interrupt today?” Sugar asked, surprised.

“What can I say? I’ve changed my ways.”

“Uhuh, whatever you say, champ.” Clearly, he was skeptical. “But anyways, today’s topic is—”

“—Sex!”

“Jesus,” You heard him whisper to himself, but you could somehow tell that it was in amusement rather than annoyance. “Why’re you like this?”

“What you get for not believing me,” Jay replied. “But anyways, since no one wants to hear us argue, let’s start with… I don’t know, where do you want to start?”

“Probably the protection part,” Sugar offered.

“Oh yeah. Well, I’m sure you all know this but there’s condoms all over campus. They’re literally free, so there’s like no excuse.”

“They’re at the health center, the gym. Take advantage of all that shit your tuition’s going to, people.”

“Yeah, trust me, you don’t wanna be in that rapid STD testing line at the end of the semester. It’s the most nerve-wracking, suffocating room that you’ll ever be in.”

“Well, you should still get tested every once in a while anyways. But yeah, if you don’t wanna feel like you’re gonna vomit on the floor while you wait, then yeah.”

“You would know,” Jay giggled across the mic.

“This is true,” Sugar admitted. “Freshman mistakes, my friends. But guess who always has a condom on them now?”

“Good to know.”

“But anyways, now that we’ve got that PSA out of the way.”

“Yup, protection, protection, protection,” Jay rattled off the mantra. “Okay, I have something to ask, because I’m genuinely curious since I don’t think we’ve ever talked about this.”

“Oh god, now I’m nervous,” Sugar chuckled, and once you again you felt this strange wave of something wash over you.

You weren’t even sure what the actual feeling itself was. Unease? No, that wasn’t right. Maybe nerves? Maybe you were just projecting your anxiety about your test onto everything. Yeah, maybe that was it.

“Where’s the weirdest place you’ve had sex?” Jay asked, which most certainly caused your attention to be turned back to the podcast.

“Hm,” Sugar hummed as he seemed to ponder the question. “Honestly, I don’t think I have one. Maybe it makes me boring, but I much prefer not being in positions where someone can get a snapshot of my bare ass out in public… Or get arrested for that matter — you know all about that, right, Jay?”

“Really?” Jay scoffed. “You’re gonna bring that up? And for the record, me and that girl were not arrested. We were almost arrested.”

“Because that makes it so much better?”

“I mean in the eyes of the future employers that I’ll be filling job applications out for, yeah.”

“True, but I guess we should explain what the hell we’re even talking about,” Sugar proposed, before continuing. “Basically, Jay here, met a girl at some party that his frat was throwing, and they decided that it would be fun to have sex outside near the bushes and trees, where literally anyone could pass by, which ended up including the cops.”

“Okay first of all,” Jay started, and you could hear him shifting in his seat. “She was the one who said she wanted to have sex in nature or some shit, and obviously I was like what the fuck at first, so I tried telling her how my bedframe was made of wood and wasn’t that nature-y enough, and she said no that wasn’t good enough, and so I just…”

“You just what?” Sugar asked, clearly trying to control his laughter.

“Fine, I’m weak as hell so I agreed, and then we got caught by the cops and ran for our fucking lives, half naked across campus.”

“Riveting.”

“Fuck off.”

“Hey, you expose me on here all the time, had to get a little payback.”

“I guess,” Jay sighed, accepting Sugar’s reasoning.

After that the two men delved into numerous topics involving college sex life. From flippant things such as unrealistic movie portrayals, to all important topics like consent. If was always fascinating to just listen to them speak about things so openly. It let you just forget about stresses for the thirty odd minutes that they spoke for every week. But eventually the conversation did start to wind down, eventually breaking off into tangents here and there. But as you had said before, you didn’t mind this. It was actually really nice to hear how well they riffed off of one another.

And it was at this point, where their talk turned more natural… that the underlying feeling of that certain something returned. It was just something about the way Sugar’s breath hit the mic or the way his laughter bounced through your earbuds. It had always affected you to some degree since you had developed somewhat of an infatuation towards this man with an alias so sweet. But there was something different about this time, something more intense drawing you in.

“Okay, we’re getting to that point where we’re completely off topic, so I guess we should stop here,” Sugar said after he and Jay finished a mini-debate on what the best X-Men superpower was.

“You’re just saying that because you know I’m right, and that Mystique has the best superpower, but whatever.”

“It’s definitely being a telepath, but I’ll let you continue on in this wrong way of life that you’ve chosen to follow.”

“Whatever,” Jay sighed. “But yeah, any closing comments, Sugar?”

“Uhm, not really…” He trailed off, and there was a momentary pause that caused the podcast to have a beat of silence that wasn’t often heard. It made your brows furrow as you waited for him to continue, his slow and steady breath suddenly returning to the microphone, leading a chill down your spine in its wake before he continued. “Just… Just good luck to everyone on their tests and stuff this week,” He paused once more. “…Anatomy or whatever.”

That was when it clicked for you of course, when he had to so obviously spell it out.

“I — are you fucking kidding me!?” You yelled as you ripped your headphones out. Your heart was thundering violently against your chest as everything started to replay itself inside of your head. The breaths, the laughter, the words, the voice. That strange familiarity that you had written off as nothing at the library when you had first heard him speak. The weird vibe that you just couldn’t shake when the podcast started and his breathy sigh sounded so much more lively than it ever had before.

Suddenly that something emotion that you hadn’t been able to pinpoint as it pressed against your chest dissolved. That airy warmth that had been bubbling in the pit of your stomach every time that he had laughed this episode, it was all replaced by you feeling like a complete idiot for not realizing something so obvious that had been right in front of your face and literally playing through your ears.

Before you knew it, you were out of bed, car keys already being grabbed off of your dresser. “This kid,” You whispered, a grin plastered across your face.

Your fist came down on the door, some sort of adrenaline running through you as you waited for him to answer. How could you not have seen it? —Or perhaps heard was a more accurate term. But you weren’t mad that he hadn’t told you even though he clearly knew that you were a fan of mixtape. You were simply stunned that you hadn’t realized who he was sooner. You had heard his voice, laughter… everything, filter through your headphones a million times and yet you didn’t even notice when he was right in front of you.

And then suddenly he was again. The door opened, and there he was, not seeming surprised in the slightest to see you.

“Y/N,” Yoongi started, smiling as he pulled you inside his apartment. “You… heard I’m assuming?”

“Hm, I don’t know, should I call you Yoongi or Sugar from now on?” You asked, bringing your hand up to your chin to convey some playful uncertainty.

He chuckled, leaning down to press his forehead to yours. “You can call me whatever you want.” And then he was kissing you, pressing you into the wall just as he had done a few days prior, his smile pressing firmly into your lips. You giggled, making the interaction a jumbled, laughter-infused mess before you finally broke away.

“Wow, this is so weird,” You said as you circled your arms around Yoongi’s neck while he did the same to your waist. “I listen to you every week. How the hell couldn’t I tell that it was you?”

“Sometimes it’s hard to match a voice to a face when you’re only used to just being able to hear it.” He shrugged as if it were the most casual thing in the world. But really, it wasn’t the biggest deal. It was just… wild, for lack of a better word.

“Yeah, clearly.”

“You’re not mad, right?” He asked. “That I knew you listened to mixtape but still didn’t tell you who I was?”

“No, not at all,” You said, shaking your head. “You just met me. I wouldn’t expect you to just go and reveal one of your biggest secrets like that.”

He seemed relieved at that. “Good, I just thought you might be mad at me or something.”

“Promise I’m not mad at all,” You said, giving him a quick peck for good measure. “But really, you did only just meet me, so why’d you let me know that it was you?”

After all, Yoongi could have just kept this information to himself, and you never would have known. Sure, you felt that Sugar had sounded a bit more familiar while listening to the new episode earlier, but if not for him sliding that comment about your anatomy test into it, you probably never would’ve figured it out that he was Yoongi.

“I don’t know, to be honest,” He said, looking genuinely unsure of his reasoning. “I just had a really good time with you the past few days. And you know, even if it’s just as friends, I’d still like to hang out with you a lot after this. Everyone close to me knows that I’m Sugar from mixtape, so it just… felt right to tell you, even though we haven’t known each other that long. Is that weird?” He laughed, and you could see the slight flush of color that was congregating on his cheeks as he said it.

“No, it’s not weird at all. I liked hanging out with you a lot, even when we weren’t… You know…” You trailed off, hiding your face in his shoulder.

“Same,” He said simply, making you both laugh.

“For someone who’s on a podcast you’re not very good at expressing yourself.”

“Well, why do you think I’m the sarcastic asshole of the show?” He shrugged. “I’m not good at expressing myself.”

“I don’t know, you were pretty good just now. What was that bit you said about even if we’re just friends?” You asked, gaining a mischievous grin as his face flushed redder.

“You’re terrible,” He joked, scratching awkwardly at his jaw. “But I mean I guess I would like to hang out with you and not have to quiz you on the contents of the skull… On like a date, maybe?”

Again, you felt that flare of something warm and inviting vibrate throughout your chest.

“I… I would really like that, Yoongi.”

He smiled, sighing in relief at your answer. You had no idea why he thought even for a second that you would say no, but it was cute to see nonetheless. You were about to ask what sort of places he liked to go on dates, but before you could, the ping of your cell-phone interrupted. You pulled it from your pocket and when you saw the notification, your heart dropped about ten levels.

“What’s wrong?” Yoongi asked, hands settling their way onto your shoulders as he clearly could see the shift in your expression.

“It says my anatomy test was graded.” You tried to swallow the dryness from your throat as you unlocked your phone and clicked on the notification, but you made sure to look away before it loaded, not sure if you were ready to see. “I feel like I’m gonna vomit.”

“Hey, hey,” Yoongi whispered. “Whatever you got, it’s gonna be all right. We’ll just study harder for the next test.”

“We?” You laughed, amused by his insinuation.

“Doesn’t have to be that kind of studying… But if you want.” He shrugged, grinning down at you as he did so. “Really though, it’ll be alright. Just see what you got, and we’ll go from there, yeah?”

You nodded, thankful for his encouragement as you breathed out a heavy sigh, trying to expel any negativity that was sitting stagnant inside of you. You were nervous, gripping your phone tightly for a few seconds before finally gaining the courage to look. You tilted your phone away from your chest, and right there on the screen, the percentage flashed back at you, causing you to nearly drop your phone to the ground in shock.

“Oh my god,” You whispered in disbelief as you continued to stare at it, as if to make sure that it wouldn’t disappear.

“What is it? What’s wrong?” Yoongi asked, eyes wide and nervous.

“N-nothing. I…” You paused for a second, the phrase catching in your throat a few times before you could finally get it out. “I set the curve.”

“What!?” Yoongi exclaimed, smile beaming.

“I set the fucking curve! I got a hundred!” You screamed jumping up and down, your excitement impossible to contain as you began yanking Yoongi’s shirt along with you. “I can’t believe this!”

“I was literally sweating, and it wasn’t even my test,” He sighed, almost in more relief than you had.

“Well, you did put a lot of effort into it.”

“Much effort, but nothing I didn’t thoroughly enjoy.” Yoongi grinned as he pulled you closer and began peppering his way down the side of your neck, prompting a flash of heat throughout your limbs.

“How about a celebration round then?” You whispered as your hands wandered down his shirt and all the way to the top of his jeans. You could hear the lowly growl building in his throat as he pressed further into your hand.

“Fuck, yes—”

But suddenly there was a loud knock that boomed against Yoongi’s door making you almost jump out of your skin.

“Yoongi!” The person on the other side yelled, voice loud and bombastic as it cut through the air.

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” Yoongi mumbled to himself.

“Who’s that—” You tried to ask, but before you could finish the stranger on the other side was already starting up again.

“Open up! I have an idea for next week’s episode!”

Your brow’s furrowed at this. “Episode?” You questioned aloud.

“Meet Hoseok,” Yoongi said with an almost tired sigh, motioning towards the door. “Or Jay as you probably know him better as.”

“Oh my god, that’s Jay?” You asked, clearly amused as he continued to bang on the door relentlessly. “Wow, thought that whole interrupting thing was just a played-up bit for the show,” You admitted.

“I wish it was played-up. Hoseok, interrupts every aspect of my life, not just podcast related things.”

“Interesting duo, you two.”

“Guess that’s why people like to hear us talk about nonsense,” Yoongi shrugged. “But I know how to get rid of him. Would you mind helping me?”

“Depends what it is,” You replied, interested to see what it was that he needed your assistance for.

“Well, it involves something… semi-sexual.” Your brows raised at this, intrigue growing higher. “Do you mind… hair pulling?”

Just the question itself had you fighting off the need to strip off your clothes. “N-not at all,” You managed to stutter.

Yoongi looked satisfied with this as he placed his hand along the back of your neck, palm flat as he threaded his fingers through your strands. You then watched as he brought his other hand down the front of your leggings, instantly having his fingers pressed ever so lightly against your slick heat. You weren’t really sure what the point of this was, or how it had anything to do with Hoseok, but it wasn’t as if you minded either. But then Hoseok was speaking again, as Yoongi knew that he would, you presumed.

“Your car’s out front. I know you’re in there, probably sleeping—”

You watched as Yoongi turned to face you, giving you the slightest of indications before you felt his hand tighten around your hair as he slid the warmth of his tongue along your neck in a way that had you keening. His palm that was still pressed to your center began to move, leaving your knees-weak. With all of this together you couldn’t help the moan that slipped past your lips, bouncing along the walls and most certainly through the door.

“Oh shit, my bad, dude,” Hoseok said, and suddenly his knocking stopped. “Catch you later.”

And it was that simple.

You felt Yoongi start to loosen his grip on your hair and pull his hand from your pants once Hoseok signaled his departure, but you quickly halted his motions, placing your hands on top of his before he could get too far. His eyes glimmered with something as you did so, a certain thrill seeming to electrify the air between the two of you.

“So about that condom that you always have on you?”

#bts #bts smut #bts scenarios #min yoongi #yoongi #yoongi smut #yoongi scenarios #suga #suga smut #kpop fanfic #kpop smut

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thecostumeplot · 3 years ago

Text

BONUS 2: Halston with Jeriana San Juan

Accompanying slideshow for episode can be found here.

Both

Welcome to The Costume Plot.

Jojo

I'm Jojo Siu.

Sarah

And I’m Sarah Timm. We're professional designers with a passion for costume design and the performing arts. Our podcast does contain spoilers. Accompanying slideshows for each movie are linked in the episode description.

Jojo

We hope you'll join us every other week as we delve into the wonderful world of costume design in The Costume Plot. [music]

Jojo

Hello.

Sarah

Hi. Welcome back to The Costume Plot!

Jojo

Yes, we have a special bonus episode today. And we're really excited. We have another guest artist this month. We have a lot this month. So I will give us a quick introduction because we don't have a ton of time and I want to make sure we get to all of our questions.

Sarah

Oh yeah.

Jojo

But our guest today is Jeriana. She has done a lot of work that spanned film, TV, Broadway and commercials. So you know her work most recently from "Halston," which we'll be covering a lot of today--but she'll also be talking about some of her other experiences working as a TV/film designer--for which she was also just Emmy nominated, "Halston." Her other credits also include "The Sinner," "The Plot Against America," and "The Get Down," which is actually one of my favorite shows. So I was really excited to read that. And then Sarah, take away the rest of it.

Sarah

Yeah. She's also assistant designed some high profile shows such as "Legally Blonde: The Musical," "Saturday Night Live," the TV series "Flesh and Bone," and Madonna's 2008 World Tour, "Sticky and Sweet." And yeah, she's here today to talk all things "Halston" with us. So please welcome Jeriana San Juan.

Jeriana

Thank you for that amazing introduction. Thank you for my credits. She ain't done yet, honey. She's not done.

Jojo

Definitely not.

Jeriana

I'm still building those credits.

Sarah

Absolutely. Aren't we all?

Jojo

So true. All right.

Jeriana

No, I'm happy to be here with you guys. We're all part of a costume family.

Jojo

Yeah, definitely.

Sarah

Absolutely.

Jojo

It's such a small world, too. We're always trying to meet and connect with other designers. So thank you so much for coming to share with us.

Jeriana

Of course, my pleasure.

Sarah

Yeah, I'm so excited to have the perspective of someone... because both of us mostly work in theatre. So I'm so excited to have the perspective of someone who does more TV and film, because that's just a new voice for us to have on the show.

Jeriana

That's great. Yeah, I mean, my background is in theatre. It's certainly where I got my start in New York, which felt like the natural progression. I sort of had this very odd track, because I was always sort of attracted to theatre. And my... one of my mothers is a ballerina--or was a ballerina.

Sarah

Oh my gosh.

Jeriana

So it sort of was my entry into theatrical design was, you know, seeing her costumes for the ballets that she was performing, and being in the rehearsal studio watching them, you know, dance in rehearsal tutus. And being in the costume shop. At the time I was so little, I was sort of like... would just grab fabrics from the costume shop, and then make, you know, dresses for my Barbies sitting in the rehearsal studio, which was pretty magical.

Sarah

Yeah.

Jeriana

But that was sort of my entry point. And I sort of went sort of theatre, fashion, theatre, film and television. [laughs] So what I love is costume design, for both of those things. Because they really... I feel like it takes a very different point of view to design for theatre than it does for film and television. And it's an interesting space to be working between those two things. And it's really cool for me to sort of have geek-out sessions with other costume designers who are theatre costume designers. Because there's a whole 'nother like... there's a whole level of geekdom to that. And then there's a whole level of costume designers who do film and television, and kind of can talk about some of the things that are very, you know, kind of in the highbrow spectrum of that world. So there's different niches to both of those things. And they're so-- the applications are so different between them.

Jojo

Yeah.

Sarah

Totally.

Jojo

I love that. Sarah, do you want to start with our first question? Thank you, that was such a great introduction, Jeriana.

Sarah

Yeah, I completely agree. Like, costuming is all under one umbrella, I guess. But then underneath there's all the little branches that are-- it's all different, but it's all so exciting and fun to learn about.

Jeriana

Yeah. And so exciting, I think, the differences. But it's so exciting for me to be a person, I think, who can sort of live between all of those worlds. I mean, I was the same kid when I was in high school and didn't want to sit with either the theatre kids or the, you know, goth girls, or the fashion girls, or the hip hop kids. I sat at everybody's table once a week, because I didn't want to commit to any end of that spectrum. And I find equal parts joy and love for all of those different things. So yeah, I think it's a cool thing, right, that there's this costume community. But we span people who can do, you know, opera, which is a completely different skill set than someone who can do you know, some trilogy... TV show, you know, where the clothes look real and gritty and ordinary. There's just such a wide range in there.

Jojo

Yeah.

Sarah

Absolutely. So tell us a little bit about "Halston," because... I personally have never done anything for film or TV. So to me, designing a whole TV show seems so daunting. So tell us a little bit about sort of like your process, how you build your team... just how you sort of approach it.

Jeriana

So the process for "Halston"... and it was daunting, there's no doubt about it. [all laugh] I mean, it was going to be-- I think, here's the most daunting part about "Halston," is that the people who are going to tune in to watch "Halston" are probably going to be, you know, participating in the fashion world on some level. Whether they are fans, admirers, were there at Studio 54 dancing with him... you know, knew him, and involved in the fashion industry. Or just lovers of fashion, you know, and art and culture that he was a part of. So I knew there would be a critical eye watching this show. I was sort of like, "Oh, my gosh, this is the show I want to watch" when I even, you know, heard that the show was coming to New York and happening. So, it was incredibly daunting. And that's also exactly what was so attractive about it. I love things that scare me. And it definitely scared me because it is massive, and the pressure was on. And I just knew a discerning eye would be watching. And those same fashion discerning eyes are also the most-- you know, can be very vocally disapproving. [all laugh]

Sarah

Right.

Jojo

Very true.

Jeriana

I sort of was like, "if Andre Leon Talley watches this and can read me, it's the problem." [all laugh] But truly, you know, I first got wind that it was even coming to New York because a line producer that I had worked with in the past--and was going to be the person producing it locally--inquired with me if I was interested or available in the whole thing. Because she knew I had a fashion background and a fashion interest. And it, you know, felt like a project that would suit me, and got me the meeting with the director, Daniel Minahan. Who was, you know, we were like peas and carrots immediately, as soon as we met. Because there really was... we just started a dialogue right away about this sort of mutual appreciation for Halston. His body of work. Appreciation, from my point of view, of what formulated his artistic voice, and the designers that he was inspired by. And, you know, I started talking about Charles James, which was a big inspiration of his, and other designers like Madeleine Vionnet, who I think he was very inspired by. And just what makes that voice so... sort of just stand apart from the rest. And how that was sort of equal parts wonderful and worth celebrating, but also really tricky to approach from a costume designer's point of view. because to chart his artistic journey, and to chart this sort of voice of the clothes over a period of time... it's really hard to date his clothes because they sort of transcend time and have a timelessness to them.

Both

Mmhmm.

Jeriana

That... you know, how do you know that this dress is from the 1970s? Because it looks like it could be hanging in Saks Fifth Avenue today. And how to really create that context for the audience. And a juxtaposition between his world and his clothes, and the surrounding environments so that it would always feel like a caveman inventing the wheel, you know. So it would really feel just like an absolute Edison bulb moment, where it felt like a brand new revolution/evolution. And so that's kind of where the conversation began. And knowing that those were my motivations... you know, it's kind of the way an actor kind of goes into a character with certain motivations, right? You have to come into your design with a motivation to inspire, or to scare, or to keep things kind of veiled and under mystery. There's always some motivation behind the design. And so my motivation primarily was to do several things; it was to highlight the artistry of his clothes and the revolutionary aspects of his clothes. And to set them apart visually, so that they felt truly kind of highlighted and remarkable, and that your eyes were drawn to them. And also to chart a journey for the audience to kind of heighten the visual sense around Halston... that we would build a vocabulary through color, and fabric, to mirror his emotional journey. And also kind of help sharpen that pencil as we went through the story so that as he's building his brand--and building his name, and building his artistic world--that the things around him visually become much more controlled by his sort of tunnel vision in design, and how that would sort of consume the world. In my mind, it was sort of this "consuming the world" in the signature Halston red, which sort of felt somewhat symmetrical to his journey, as a character and as a person. You know, this journey that sort of rises in fame, and then simultaneously things become much more tumultuous around him. And there's much more sort of anger and fear and all of that in the world. And so to me, the color of red, which is very signature color of Halston, would be sort of rising throughout the story, and then ultimately sort of consuming him right as he has his great descent from fame.

Sarah

Mmhmm. I love that, and it carries through the set too, as well, because he has his beautiful, you know, city view office that's like... everything in it is red. So I can totally see that carrying through the story.

Jeriana

Yeah, his Olympic tower. And it was meant to really build into that too. I mean, the Olympic tower red carpet, and all of those mirrors around the walls... and the view over St. Patrick's Cathedral and Fifth Avenue in New York, that's all legitimately true. Like, that was his great kind of empire, you know, tower over in New York City. And the red was partially drawn from that carpet, really. And the fact that it really was-- if you study his body of work, red just is... over and over. It's like the signature color of his. And it's a specific shade of red, too. That kind of very specific red with kind of bluish undertones that really looks good on almost every skin tone.

Both

Mmhmm.

Jeriana

So that red is really where it was inspired from, and in fact, when we got to the point of actually creating that Olympic tower, and the production designer was, you know, choosing the carpet, I was a big part of that. Because I was already partway through the builds on some of my red garments for him. And I wanted to make sure everything, you know, looked right against each other. So I took a big cut of the carpet that they had chosen, and kept it in my fitting room so that as we started to fit actors that worked within the Olympic tower set that it's, you know... there were tons of red elements, and I could constantly sort of be checking the reds against each other in the fitting process. So that red was... I sort of lived in that red for almost a year. [laughs]

Jojo

That's great. I think that's something that's so important about costume designers having this part of the conversation too, because when we are kind of invested in a piece of work, you know, it becomes our entire world, right? Whether it's the color palette, or the patterns, or the textures that you're looking at on a daily basis. So I love that you're talking a little bit about that. And that actually kind of segues into one of the questions that I had as well. You mentioned that you had built quite a few of the dresses, as well. Were you building a lot of the costumes that were on the show, or how much of it did you source or, you know, that kind of thing? Especially since you're referring to actual garments that existed in this time.

Jeriana

Right. So, I mean, here's the tricky balance. The tightrope that I had to walk the entire time... is celebrating Halston, and representing his clothes with artistic integrity and truth. I was on some level, you know, recreating-- I was really recreating things a good majority of the time.

Jojo

Mmhmm.

Jeriana

But I had to sort of find a formula to work within, where I could simultaneously pay authentic tribute while also continuing to stay within a frame of mind of storytelling. So it was not always recreating word for word. I would oftentimes try to sort of... I can only say this by saying, I grounded my feet in reality--and in the research and in truth--and my head was in the clouds. [all laugh] And dreaming.

Jojo

Yeah.

Jeriana

Because I had to really continue to... I just wanted to propel his voice forward in the context of what we were able to show in the series. Because we're not able to show his entire body of work, which is impressive, and a lifetime of work. So really in order to sort of condense that all down to what ultimately were, I think, five or six fashion shows, and you know, a few other things I was able to highlight between. And I sort of had to... I really had to filter down the language of what we were going to show for each collection. And then I would start with what authentically was a part of that, that is something that just is such a quintessential piece that I have to show. And I think a great example of this is the tie dye fashion show that we open with in the series, as his sort of premier collection in his 68th Street office on his own. And the choice to do tie dye was even just sort of propelled by the fact that tie dye's.... You know, it's such a recognizable thing in culture today. I mean, I was not anticipating COVID and the great tie dye year of 2021. [all laugh]

Jojo

Yeah.

Sarah

Oh my gosh. Yes.

Jeriana

I wasn't anticipating that, but that was a happy accident.

Jojo

Right.

Jeriana

But no, the tie dye thing sort of felt like a great way to kind of show his voice as this very sophisticated designer with incredible taste, who was able to take this very hippy, loose concept and really turn it into high art. And that's a completely authentic real thing, and something he, you know, absolutely did. There are silhouettes from that collection... so I think that collection was ultimately 10 pieces. And I found three originals.

Jojo

Wow.

Jeriana

I found actually a few more, but I ended up having to edit those out because I was trying to do a very, very calculated color palette. So I could only use three garments that ultimately fit in that color palette. And... that were absolutely incredible. There was one piece that gets a lot of screen time, which is this brown caftan that has these aqua and sort of paper-colored diamond patterns that run through it. And it's really-- it looks like a kaleidoscope. It's absolutely magnificent. And that piece became an anchor point for me in terms of the palette. And then I, from that, sort of borrowed from what I was able to sort of un-obscure from some actual photographs of that collection. And I found some references at the Conde Nast archive that were some editorial shoots that had been done with some of those tie dye clothes. And again, sort of, you know, took what I could from the photo and sort of re-mapped out what I thought the design could be, and then sort of invented some things in between that sort of married some of his signature silhouettes, like the silk pajamas. You know, he had this one dress that had this big butterfly sleeve on it. So I kind of borrowed that and made a pattern for it that borrowed from another piece. So it sort of becomes this way to sort of decopage together all of these ideas that that will all come together and feel like a cohesive collection of one voice... of one sort of, you know, set of ideas that are motivating him in this time. And when I was putting those collections together, I sort of had my motivations of what was going to design that collection. And then I sort of put on my fashion designer, "what would Halston do?" hat, to really kind of put that all together and map that out. And had a wonderful dyer helping to bring all of those things to life. And, you know, that was just one collection, and that was an enormous amount of work to bring all that to life. But I think it's important, you know... this is something I tell a lot of younger people now, and it took me a long time, I think, in my own career, to get past this point. Because sometimes the "how is it gonna happen" is so intimidating that you don't allow yourself to have a full course of creative thought before you're already stopping yourself with, "but how can it be done?"

Sarah

Mmhmm.

Jeriana

And how to make it real is scary, or how to make it on budget is scary. And I sort of equated it to like, being my own assistant designer, right? So like, I tell that assistant designer in my head that says, "How is this going to manifest into reality?" and I tell it to go away. [all laugh]

Jojo

Yep.

Jeriana

And then I allow myself to have the full creative thought, beginning to end that will help me navigate: What is the motivation? What does this moment call for? What is the design? How should it feel to the audience? How should it feel for the characters living in that space? Go through all of those exercises, emotionally and mentally, and... you know, how that can be. And really get to the other side of it, so that you know you've had a complete artistic thought. And then once you really get to the point of "that's what it needs to be," then your assistant designer self can come back in your brain and go, "but how are we going to make this happen, boss?" [all laugh]

Sarah

Right.

Jeriana

Because it's really, you know... it's scary. It's scary, because you could have really big thoughts. And, you know, they won't always be the right thoughts. Sometimes the more... you know, the sort of more slapdash, taped solution is actually ultimately the better one, but at least allow yourself the creative space. And it's so hard because everything is so fast and so demanding. And it's so hard to find that space, and I still have a hard time for myself kind of arguing for that space, so that I can allow myself to really be immersed in something enough to sort of see it in my mind first, before I start worrying about, you know, where are the clothes going to come from. And I really advocate for that for everyone. Because it's, I think, a better place to start from. And then you can always, you know, find the way to turn what's in your mind as, you know, something incredibly elaborate and dazzling into, you know, shopping Forever 21 or wherever. [Jojo & Sarah laugh]

Sarah

Right.

Jeriana

But, you know, allow yourself to be there first. And, you know, imagine the way you really, really would love to do it, if you had a million dollars and all the time in the world. And then start peeling back.

Jojo

I love that.

Sarah

I think that is brilliant advice, actually, that I feel like I need to take more in my design work. It's so hard to shut down that sort of practical, like, "Mmm, can you actually do that?" voice and actually allow your creativity to really explore the bounds of what is even possible.

Jeriana

Totally. And it's, you know... that's what we're hired for. That's what we're here for. You know, there are amazing creatives who write stories, who are hired for their thoughts, to write. They don't need to know how to type on the computer, you know? [laughs]

Sarah

Yeah. Yeah.

Jeriana

That's kind of what it is. I mean, listen, it's... the magic place is to be in the place where you really do know how to turn water into wine quickly. And that comes with time in doing what you do, and learning all the tricks of the trade, and learning all the resources and learning all of... you know, every way to turn a rabbit out of a hat, ultimately. But allow yourself to get to that creative place where what you're hired for is your ideas. And, you know, the rest will will come into place. And quite honestly, the most luck I've had in my career is with actors when I've just sort of talked about character, you know, in a limitless way. Not like, you know, "well, I was able to get to this store and this store. So this is what I brought to you." But talk about the character as a character and as a person, and where they might shop. And you know, where they might shop might-- or how they even want to represent themselves, right? Are they presentational or not? Or do they not care about how they look on the facade? Or did they get these clothes from someone else? Are they hand-me-downs? Or did they make very precise choices in what they're wearing? And let that guide the conversation as opposed to, "I have this budget, so I can only shop here." And I really speak to that on so many levels. Because I came up from very humble beginnings, my family is an immigrant Cuban family. And I was always taught by my grandmother that you invent your self, you know? [laughs] There's no-- it doesn't matter, you know, how much money we have. You have the opportunity with your mind to do anything, in your imagination to do anything. And when I was dreaming of, you know, these looks in the magazines and reimagining them or that kind of thing... it was just like, "Okay, great, we have these curtains, let's take them down and make a dress that looks like that." And, you know, that's... I think it's an important place to start from, is not be... don't be caught up in all the, you know, sort of the fashion design of it. You know, the designer-ness of it all. I don't like to participate in that, I like to participate in creativity.

Jojo

Yeah. I mean, I think that's so much more innovative, too. Being able to-- you know, because that is where our mind expands, right? If it's already been done in a designer store, then they've had that creative moment where they're able to do that. And I think there's something really lovely about being able to recreate and reinvent. And not, you know-- it is also one of those things, as a designer, when you're trying to recreate a period. I think what you said earlier about finding that kind of careful place on the tightrope of, "how do I pay homage while also not just copying what they've done in the past?" You know, how do we heighten the story? And how do we tell that? And I think that's great,.

Right. Yeah. Yeah, no, it truly is. I kind of kept saying, you know, "how do I condense this?" Like, the 1980s don't get five looks on the runway.

[laughs] So hard.

Sarah

Oh boy.

Jeriana

Like, it's so hard. It's really felt like Sophie's Choice, like, how am I going to decide which outfit makes it and even, you know... then it's sort of like, I could come up with five things, but they don't relate together and create a collection.

Sarah

Sure.

Jeriana

So it really was about kind of summarizing a novel like "War and Peace" into a haiku.

Jojo

Right, right.

Sarah

[laughs]

Jojo

That's a great way to describe that.

Sarah

Absolutely.

Jojo

Cool. Well, thank you so much for talking about that. We're going to shift gears a little bit. You want to ask the next question, Sarah? Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you.

Sarah

It's fine, it's fine. [laughs] Did you have a hand in sort of preparing the actors to kind of look like they know what they're doing? Like, Ewan McGregor especially has to handle a lot of fabric and stuff. Like, were you directly involved in sort of... did they go through a boot camp of like, building clothes?

Jeriana

Yes. Well, we-- I mean, yes, I had my time with Ewan for sure. And initially tried to even engage someone, because my time as just the costume designer was so spread thin that I was like, "Who's going to teach Ewan?" because he really wanted to learn. He had expressed that early on, like, he wanted to have Halston's hands. He wanted to manipulate fabric and, you know, move through the workroom in a very natural way. Because he's a brilliant actor and really, truly wanted to inhabit him. So we made time to have some of those lessons about fitting, you know. And he would even sort of watch me in the fitting as I was fitting him, to kind of see the way my eyes moved, and see the way I sort of would hold him up against the mirror. And we noticed that in Halston-- in footage of Halston, as well, the way that he sort of used his hands was very much like a dancer, you know, when he held his hands and was sort of looking at things on a fitting model and adjusting things, he would reference everything in the mirror. Because it's a natural way to work when you're in a fitting and looking at something as a whole, and referencing it from a distance, as opposed to, you know, close up. And that was, you know, that was in itself a lesson, as was pinning fabric or an muslin on a model, you know, that's very specific. It's a very specific skill set to have-- you know, find a way to anchor the fabric securely, so it doesn't slip off and reveal a naked woman. And then also how to pin something on a person--a real person--where you're not stabbing them.

Jojo

Yeah.

Jeriana

And I never thought handling pins was so... was, you know, that complicated. And it's because I've been doing it for, you know, 20 plus years. But I think...

Sarah

Yeah.

Jeriana

...with an actor stepping into that, I really realized how that muscle memory, it's the same way an artist handles a paintbrush. It's the same way a hairstylist handles a brush and a, you know, hairdryer. It's the same-- it's a very specific way to use hand tools, the way a surgeon uses, you know, tools. It's really... there's a muscle memory to that, that is a learned skill. And it's part of what he had to practice, to do Halston right. And the conversation not only became about Halston, it also spread to the tailors in the workroom, because we were hiring background artists and actors. And, as best-- you know, I sent out sort of a little sheet to our background casting agency of like, you know, a request to try to have people who had tailoring experience, or some sewing experience, so that they wouldn't look like they were fumbling in the background with pins.

Sarah

Absolutely.

Jeriana

And it's that same kind of thing... I'm sort of building this illusion, right, for everyone who's really going to know this world, and have been in a fitting room or in a workroom. And I think that kind of thing could really... it could really ruin it for the whole show. It could ruin it for the audience if you're watching a tailor in the background kind of take fake measurements on a dress form...

Both

Yeah.

Jeriana

...that you're like, "that guy's not doing something real."

Sarah

Yes. [laughs]

Jeriana

So I was on set every day, and would help...

Sarah

Oh my gosh.

Jeriana

...give motivation, instruction, to all of the background on set, you know. "You here, you're gonna hold up this sloper," or "you're gonna put a sloper down and put weights on it, and then trace it." [laughs] Like, I would give each person something to do in that way and was given license to do that from Dan...

Jojo

That's great.

Jeriana

...who gave me his complete blessing to help kind of motivate those people in the background. But then also, before we started shooting-- all of those people that we had hired to be sort of the core staff of his tailors, and his seamstresses, and all the people who would work in his atelier. And I actually had a seamstress that I work with quite often, and her name is Cheryl McCarran. And she came in for the day and set up and held a class for all of these people...

Jojo

Wow.

Jeriana

...to kind of go over a skill set.

Sarah

Cool!

Jeriana

And it was a bit of a boot camp to talk about, you know, all of the the basic practical elements. But then also sort of, like, you know, kind of test them individually to see how well they could perform, to see if maybe this is somebody who we needed to have, you know, at a sewing machine with their back to the camera, or this is someone we could really feature. [laughs]

Sarah

Yeah.

Jeriana

And then Cheryl actually worked on set, and she's actually on camera quite a bit in the show as a stunt sort of tailor.

Jojo

That's great.

Sarah

Cool!

Jeriana

So that was kind of such a unique, cool thing for her...

Jojo

Her debut. [laughs]

Sarah

Oh my gosh.

Jeriana

...To like, have my own little plant in there, somebody who-- when he, you know, is requiring a pin, who could hand him one appropriately to not prick him... and in a way that he can then, you know, work with it appropriately. So it was... you know, it's like a stunt person.

Sarah

Totally. Oh my gosh, if somebody who-- because I build, too. So if somebody was like, "we want you to be there," I would be like, "Oh yeah, here I come!" [all laugh] I would be on camera, that'd be so fun.

Jeriana

I know, it was the funniest thing-- when we actually fit her for HER costumes, was kind of a trip. [all laugh]

Sarah

She's like, "Take it in here, take it in here. Yes. Okay, I'll pin it on myself."

Jojo

I was gonna say, what a treat to to be able to have that kind of authority, to have control over who's actually in the background. Because, you know, we don't often get that...

Sarah

Oh yeah.

Jojo

...ability to have a say in that. And I think that that-- it really makes a committed choice. And I think that, you know, again, going back to collaboration... because we do talk about that a lot on our podcast. It's so important, how much your relationship with the director works in the favor of the show, and the storytelling that needs to happen. So I love that.

Jeriana

Absolutely.

Jojo

I think that more more places need to be able to do that. So that it really truly is such a collaboration.

Sarah

Totally.

Jeriana

Well, also, just the more-- I am just excited, and still am, that this show was made. That there was a story about about a fashion designer. And that WAS the story, and it wasn't like he was, you know, an episode on him and then back to the the real important thing.

Jojo

Right. Right.

Sarah

Mmhmm.

Jeriana

It was like, no, it's his story. And I love that, and I want to see more, you know, shows like that. And I've been planting the seed at Ryan Murphy TV that they should do, you know, "American Fashion Story" and do another designer.

Sarah

Oh my god.

Jojo

Yeah!

Jeriana

Because I just love the concept of following an artistic journey of someone whose art is clothing.

Jojo

Right.

Jeriana

And that is just-- I'm so completely romanced by that idea. And I want more shows like this to be made.

Jojo

Yeah.

Sarah

Same. We will cosign that. [all laugh]

Jeriana

Okay.

Sarah

'Cuz... oh my gosh.

Jeriana

We'll start a petition.

Jojo

I know.

Sarah

Fabulous. Yes.

Jojo

Well hopefully this gets the word out, at least, and we can have more people sign the petition with us. [laughs]

Jeriana

Yes, we have to start a hashtag, we have to start a whole campaign.

Sarah

Yes!

Jojo

I love it.

Sarah

#AmericanFashionStory, let's get a trending, everybody.

Jojo

I love that, because we've been doing so many biopics of, you know, musicians. A lot of musicians have been coming out and doing those things. So why can't we do the same thing with, you know, with fashion designers or clothing couturiers and things like that? So...

Jeriana

Right.

Jojo

...I love that idea. I think that's great.

Jeriana

Yeah, you know, it's just such an important... I think it's an important recording of history. There's no-- you know, fashion is such a recording of history. It's such a-- it's an expression of everyone's feelings, and the political climate, and social custom, and money, and art. And it's an amalgamation of all of those things. So to me, it is the natural place for storytelling.

Jojo

Yeah.

Sarah

Totally agree. The history of fashion is the history of people, of civilization.

Jeriana

Correct. Yes.

Jojo

Abslutely.

Jeriana

Exactly. Yeah. And then, but also... what I find so interesting about that history of fashion is just the context of desire versus need, you know?

Jojo

Yeah.

Jeriana

And the very different spectrums of that. I've been obsessed with this new show that's called "Worn Stories," have you watched that?

Jojo

I have not yet seen that yet.

Sarah

Yeah, I've seen a few episodes of it!

Jeriana

And it's just...

Sarah

It''s so cool.

Jeriana

It's so cool. And it's just like, it's an interesting way to perceive clothes and what the clothes experience, you know?

Both

Mmhmm.

Jeriana

And why someone-- what clothes mean to people for various reasons, whether it's... people are sentimental about their clothes, or whether they need to serve a unique function. And I feel like a costume designer's relationship to clothes is very similar, because we understand the function of clothes. And, you know, costume design... the function of the clothes, primarily, is to tell you everything about that character, before they've even opened their mouth. So, it really, to me... and, you know, I think I'm also... right now, we are preaching to the choir, I have to say.

Jojo

Absolutely.

Jeriana

Because everybody probably agrees with us, who is listening to this.

Both

[laughs]

Sarah

Hopefully.

Jeriana

But if you're not a costume person listening to this...

Jojo

Right.

Jeriana

...you know, I think it's a cool thing to really exercise. Because everyone dresses, so everyone gets dressed. Everybody has their own relationship with clothes, whether they say they don't care about them. [laughs] Say they don't care about them...

Jojo

Yeah.

Jeriana

...or really do, or use them as a way to artistically express themselves loudly, or really quietly... and to, you know, sort of create a camouflage to blend and not stick out or to uniform. And, you know, there's so many different ways that people can wear clothes, and I mean, a show like this, for me was like... it was like Thanksgiving. You know, it was like, the most exciting celebration of clothes. And of what they mean. And, you know, fashion. Of the best--in my mind--the best parts of fashion, you know. Ultimately, also the worst parts of fashion, the whole business aspect of them.

Jojo

Mmhmm.

Jeriana

But I really loved all of the-- I loved how, you know, it just felt to me like these clothes were a celebration, and his designs were a celebration. And it was a very happy place to live in, I think, for a very long time while we made this show. And of course, you know, with COVID arriving partway through shooting and taking a six month hiatus, I actually realized once I got back...

Jojo

Yeah.

Jeriana

...to working on "Halston," how kind of privileged I was. And how it was a bit of a saving grace for me through the depths of, you know, COVID isolation, to still kind of have this story and all of these things in the back of my mind. Because it was quite uplifting, and, quite a sort of happy and glamorous place to sort of be dreaming of artistically, you know, through a very uncertain time. So I'm very grateful to the show for kind of, you know, getting me through some of those-- some of those long days in pajamas. [all laugh]

Jojo

Yup.

Sarah

That we all had, yes. [laughs]

Jojo

Oh, great. That's so wonderful.

Sarah

So we're-- I know we said about 40 minutes. So we should probably wrap up because you've had a long day, we know.

Jeriana

[laughs]

Sarah

First of all, congratulations on your Emmy nomination, that is so dang exciting. Is there anything that you want to plug, or mention your social media, where people can find you, follow your work?

Jeriana

Well, thank you very much. I'm very pleased to be honored. And I'm also amazed, you know, I still stop and have those moments where I just sort of check myself, like, "How on Earth did I get here?" What series of decisions did I make, that I'm even here, you know, at this point in my career? You know, this nomination, it's really... it's quite overwhelming. And I think instantly about my family, about how hard working my family has always been, about my grandparents who immigrated to this country... you know, my mother, who immigrated to this country with them. And how blessed I am to be born here, and afforded the opportunities to give me the education to allow me to pursue a creative career... a creative, sort of uncertain career. And that, you know, that I am here today... it just feels like a series of things that have kind of led me here, and I'm just... there's some chance. There's a lot of chance involved in that. And so I'm very grateful. I'm very grateful for this nomination and for all of the opportunities I've been given in my career. So I just don't-- you know, let it be known, I do not take these things for granted, I really don't. I work so hard at everything that I do and give it my entire self. And so I'm just... beyond, beyond to be even nominated. And to be alongside these other nominees whom I respect and admire and, you know, just feel like... giddy to see my name alongside. So, I'm so over the moon about that. And what's next for me, I cannot talk about.

Sarah

Ooh!

Jeriana

I have signed paperwork that says that I cannot speak about it.

Jojo

Yeah.

Jeriana

But it's keeping me very busy right now.

Jojo

As we can tell. [all laugh]

Jeriana

And it's-- I will just say this, it's something that no one expects me to do.

Sarah

Ooh.

Jeriana

And once again, it is something that completely terrifies me. So that's a good thing.

Jojo

Yeah.

Sarah

I think that's great.

Jeriana

Yeah, I think it's good to be scared. And, you know, just... intimidated and scared is a good place to be, and it's a good way to channel some of that energy into good, into positive... into creativity. But yeah, I'm very excited about this thing that I'm doing now. And you can follow me... social media plug. [laughs]

Sarah

Yeah!

Jojo

Of course.

Sarah

Do it.

Jeriana

At @jeriana on Instagram. I'm not really up on the other social medias. But that one I actually do keep up on. And I think I do because it's visual, right? I think that's why a lot of people love it.

Sarah

Yeah.

Jojo

Mmhmm.

Jeriana

And I love, you know, being able to search-- I use it for research all the time now. It's so easy to just...

Jojo

Absolutely.

Jeriana

..."hashtag whatever," and just start going down a wormhole. Though I still love a brick and mortar library like no one else. And I love...

Jojo

Mmhmm.

Sarah

[gasps] Oh my gosh, me too.

Jeriana

I love a picture collection. I love a museum to look at some... you know, make an appointment at a museum to look at something in real life. Put those white gloves on, touch something real. It's-- there's nothing like it.

Jojo

Nice to be able to do that again.

Jeriana

Oh my gosh, yes.

Jojo

It's like COVID shut everything down. And I was like, "I can't even walk into a library anymore." [laughs] It was very depressing.

Jeriana

It's depressing to live entirely through a screen, I think. And I think a lot of people are gravitated to costume design because it's a tactile process. And you have to be physically with the clothes, and with people, and creating something in that way. And... I mean, that's why I was drawn to it, certainly from from fashion design, which, you know, happened almost entirely on the computer.

Jojo

Yeah.

Jeriana

And I just missed the technical process of it all. And yeah... so I'm so happy to be back in libraries as well.

Jojo

Yeah. Do you mind... this is totally a last minute question. But do you have a favorite library that you do your research at?

Jeriana

The New York Public Library.

Jojo

I'm just wondering, because every time I go back to New York, I'm always like checking out libraries. [laughs]

Sarah

I wanna know, too. I love libraries.

Jeriana

I love the New York Public Library. And the Museum of the City of New York is a great, great resource and has an incredible fashion collection, a historical fashion collection that's really wonderful.

Jojo

Wonderful. Well, thank you so much for sharing that. I'm sure our listeners in New York, too, will appreciate that.

Sarah

Now I'm like, next time I go to New York, I know where I need to go. [all laugh]

Jojo

Yeah, next time I go home, I'll have to stop by the library again.

Sarah

Oh yeah. Libraries are great, so underappreciated. [laughs]

Jojo

Definitely. Well, I think that's all the time we have for today. And I wish we could talk more. I'm sure all of us have lengthy things to add to our conversation today. But thank you, again, so much for joining the two of us and for making time in your very long day to come and interview with us. I know it was a lot of questions.

Sarah

We so appreciate it.

Jojo

But we're so excited to be able to talk about "Halston" with you.

Jeriana

My pleasure. Truly, it just feels like like gabbing with gal pals or something. You guys are, you know... we're all in the same tribe. The costume design tribe.

Sarah

Aww!

Jojo

That's what we hope. [laughs]

Sarah

Yay!

Jeriana

Really, my pleasure, it really is. I'm happy to be here.

Sarah

Thank you so much.

What a fun conversation this was. I loved it. [laughs]

Jojo

So fun. Yes. Thanks, everyone. And if there's any comments or anything you want to leave for Jeriana, please feel free to hit us up on Instagram. We are actually mostly on Instagram.

Sarah

Yup.

Jojo

So it's great that you gave us your Instagram plug because a lot of our listeners do end up finding us through Instagram. So that's perfect.

Sarah

Yep.

Jojo

Thanks again, everyone.

Sarah

Signing off.

Jojo

And we'll see you on the next episode.

Both

Bye!

[OUTRO]

Jojo

Thank you for listening to The Costume Plot! You can follow us on Twitter and Instagram at @thecostumeplot. If you have a question, comment, or movie suggestion you can email us at [email protected].

Sarah

Our theme music is by Jesse Timm, and our artwork is by Jojo Siu. Please rate and review us wherever you listen to your podcasts.

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caltropspress · 4 years ago

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RAPS + CRAFTS #1: maassai

1. Introduce yourself. Past projects? Current projects?

I’m Maassai from Brooklyn, NY. An existentialist, rapper/vocalist, curator, performance artist, writer. My artistic practice seeks to tell hood narratives through an avant-garde lens.

A part of my released works is the C0N$TRUCT!0N series, which will be a continuous project about building and taking up space as a black person in this country. I’m also a part of the duo H31R with JWords, which I'd best describe as experimental hip hop dance music if someone really wanted to box it in, but it definitely bends the concept of genre. “With the Shifts” will be my debut solo full-length project as well as a cementing or further exploration of certain themes in my artistic practice.

2. Where do you write? Do you have a routine time you write? Do you discipline yourself, or just let the words come when they will? Do you typically write on a daily basis?

I'm a very spontaneous writer. It depends on when the inspiration hits me, whether that's a really dope track I was sent or a situation that just unfolded in front of me. Inspiration mostly hits at really odd times. Some of my favorite pieces started walking down the block in my neighborhood or on the toilet or waking in the middle of the night after an intense dream. I try to at least journal some thoughts everyday to keep a groove, but I don't like to pressure myself to make a piece or force the feeling when it’s not there and that practice really helps to keep me in love with the process I think.

3. What’s your medium—pen and paper, laptop, on your phone? Or do you compose a verse in your head and keep it there until it’s time to record?

Honestly I'm about using whatever medium is available. I’m not necessarily the die hard purist who has to write stuff on paper even though there is a special flow that happens there. But because I'm so spontaneous with my writing there's many times I'm in a situation where a pen and pad isn't available.

4. Do you write in bars, or is it more disorganized than that?

A lot of times the process is super messy. I like to follow a concept through, so sometimes that’ll mean me making a plain outline in the middle of a piece so I can have clarity in my brainstorming or come back to it when I have the mental energy to think hard enough to make it all make sense. I like to think of it as a math equation. Creating the formula and then plugging in the details until it works. Sometimes the lines in my everyday journaling resonate with me so much that I’ll use them for a song or to prompt some bars. The process is all experimental honestly.

5. How long into writing a verse or a song do you know it’s not working out the way you had in mind? Do you trash the material forever, or do you keep the discarded material to be reworked later?

I don't normally trash material completely. I believe in things being reworked, sampled and built upon. I’m a bar hoarder maybe. Unless it really sucks and I wake up and completely disagree with what I wrote for some reason, I’ll usually keep it somewhere.

6. Have you engaged with any other type of writing, whether presently or in the past? Fiction? Poetry? Playwriting? If so, how has that mode influenced your songwriting?

For sure. Not necessarily known to many, I consider myself a writer of many different mediums. I grew up writing poetry. I’m working on screen and stage plays. These are passion projects that I've been developing over the span of years now. I actually went to high school for theatre so it's still a big part of me and has definitely influenced how I see myself as an overall artist. I'm really inspired by science fiction movies - and paying attention to the way writing is brought alive through film strengthens me to paint worlds with my words. Also writing stories of any kind strengthens your ability to focus on a topic and see it through, which I feel I've tried to carry into my music as much as possible.

7. How much editing do you do after initially writing a verse/song? Do you labor over verses, working on them over a long period of time, or do you start and finish a piece in a quick burst?

Both. But projects that I really go into with lots of intention I've likely worked on for a good minute. As I'm growing through life and the process simultaneously sometimes the words slightly change. Every word matters and sometimes a slight change goes such a long way to making a statement resonate. I have written songs with a quick burst of energy, mostly when i'm collaborating with others and that's always cool because I'm like, “Okay yea I got it, I can actually write something decent mad fast even though I don't do it that often on my own.” It feels really good. Again, that spontaneity of writing with different processes keeps it new, challenging and fun for me.

8. Do you write to a beat, or do you adjust and tweak lyrics to fit a beat?

I’ve done both. I think I usually prefer to have a beat beforehand because I like to think of my vocals as an instrument, a part of the overall music piece. I can really jam out and experiment with what sounds best on the track when I have the beat beforehand. But many times it works out to find new ways to execute something I wrote for a beat, and that's fun as well.

9. What dictates the direction of your lyrics? Are you led by an idea or topic you have in mind beforehand? Is it stream-of-consciousness? Is what you come up with determined by the constraint of the rhymes?

I’m led by ideas I have in my head a lot of the time and the stream of consciousness that presents itself with that idea in mind usually leads me to an unexpected conciseness. Once it's going in a particular direction I might rework it or add things to focus it more or it might just flow how it needs to in the moment. Rhyming as a practice in writing definitely limits not what you can say but how you can say it, and that's the most tedious part a lot of the time.

10. Do you like to experiment with different forms and rhyme schemes, or do you keep your bars free and flexible?

I’m definitely consciously experimenting with form as a musician. Sometimes flexibility and freeness is a part of it. I don't usually like to keep the same form for a whole song. I think a part of my style is unpredictability and versatility.

11. What’s a verse you’re particularly proud of, one where you met the vision for what you desire to do with your lyrics?

“TU LIPS” produced by Keenyn Omari was one of those verses that just came so naturally. I was really in the flow of things and I surprised myself like, “Damn, I just wrote that?” I loved that it was catchy, gritty and revolutionary in the same breath, which is really the goal. It’s a personal fav because I wrote it so fast.

12. Can you pick a favorite bar of yours and describe the genesis of it?

“Anecdoche” off of Unsounded Points of View.

“Ever in a room and everybody talking but nobody listening? / Voices get dissonant when they over each other / trimming on the back of the last word / never get to process the sentence. / Now the convo is a figment of our egos.”

It’s not my punchiest set of bars but I love how descriptive it is. I wrote this song in an attempt to describe the indescribable feeling of those conversations that just aren't going anywhere and the emptiness present when trying to converse with someone who doesn't listen. “Voices get dissonant when they over each other” - when people speak over each other without listening it's like when people try to sing together without listening - the harmony is off - it's like really cringey chords. “Trimming on the back of the last word / never got to process the sentence” - it's like you’re just talking to speak and only taking little pieces of what is said to make an unrelated statement because they just want to talk or want attention. “Now the convo is a figment of our egos” - this wraps it up so beautifully to me because it's like the conversation isn't actually happening because there's no understanding, but our egos make us keep talking. It points to this issue being deeper than just not listening in this one moment but instead an existential challenge of overcoming your ego.

13. Do you feel strongly one way or another about punch-ins? Will you whittle a bar down in order to account for breath control, or are you comfortable punching-in so you don’t have to sacrifice any words?

Punch-ins suck. I will cut down the bar as much as I can during the writing process to leave space. Saying the most with as little words as possible is my style as a writer. If punching-in is warranted I'll do it though. Whatever makes the song work.

14. What non-hiphop material do you turn to for inspiration? What non-music has influenced your work recently?

I grew up saturated in hip hop culture. It's really embedded in me as a being. So a lot of my time is spent studying and exploring other genres and just other facets of life. I actually listen to other genres of music more than I listen to rap - like jazz, soul, experimental r&b. I get lots of inspiration from those genres. I used to take some West African dance classes, which actually completely shifted the way I understood rhythm, which helped me improve my raps a lot. Outside of music, I like to watch trippy films and psychology docs. I've been exploring where science and spirituality meet, and that's been a big part of what I've been writing about as of lately.

15. Writers are often saddled with self-doubt. Do you struggle to like your own shit, or does it all sound dope to you?

Of course, my anxiety levels before dropping things are sky high but I also love what I create at the same time. So I am usually able to push past that feeling as long as I like what I make. Sometimes working on things for a long period of time can be confusing when it's time to drop, because I might be in a different head space or have just heard it too much to think of it as anything exciting, but I try to remember how good I felt after making it and that the resonation I felt then will always be a truth.

16. Who’s a rapper you listen to with such a distinguishable style that you need to resist the urge to imitate them?

I don't feel the need to imitate anyone. I pride myself on not sounding like anyone else. There’s sooo many people I've been inspired by, but I actually try not to listen to too much rap music to make sure my voice is my own. I really love Azealia Banks as a writer. Her flow is so dynamic, especially crossing over into dance music - I appreciate her pen so much. Very unique and definitely in her own lane with rap.

17. Do you have an agenda as an artist? Are there overarching concerns you want to communicate to the listener?

Definitely to create a multi-disciplined platform that gives a way for me to create space for building and visualize a black future. One part of that is to create a new path for people who identify as black femmes to feel comfortable being a part of whatever this experimental niche of rap is, because it's overwhelmingly cis-male dominated. But mostly to push the culture forward and inspire people to push boundaries in this world as I push boundaries within my art.

RAPS + CRAFTS is a series of questions posed to rappers about their craft and process. It is designed to give respect and credit to their engagement with the art of songwriting. The format is inspired, in part, by Rob McLennan’s 12 or 20 interview series.

Photo by Kristin Powell (details)

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cantujordan91 · 4 years ago

Text

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amateurthinker · 5 years ago

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A Proposal for Parliamentary Socialism

In this opinion piece, I will attempt to outline my ideas about what a socialist society should look like and why, how it could be implemented in the United States and how it should operate after it has been implemented.

TL:DR, the most notable details are:

I start from family values theory rather than class analysis. I propose protecting democratic institutions from conservatives by disenfranchising chauvinists, and with constitutional protections of socialist principles.

=== Contents ===

Foundation

Family Values

Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness

Life

Liberty

The Pursuit of Happiness

Creating a Socialist Economy

Seizure of Production

A Social Market

Open Source

Revolution

Constitution

Protected Rights

Treason

Socialist Democracy

Native Americans

Policies

Dechauvinism

Dealing with Terrorists and Counter-Revolutionaries

Green Transformation

Law Enforcement

Native Americans

Gun Control

=== Foundation ===

Family Values

According to family values theory, human reasoning combines logic with an emotional attachment to their values. More specifically, when humans try to reason through any question, they rely on one of two biological value systems; strict father family values or nurturant family values.

Strict father family values are based primarily on hierarchical dichotomies between masculinity vs femininity, strength vs weakness, discipline vs licentiousness and punishment vs reward. The association of these values with stereotypes leads to every form of chauvinism (eg classism, sexism, racism, xenophobia, homophobia, transmisogyny, etc.). While some people may have an inherent bias towards chauvinist thinking, every human is capable of it, and both fear and privileged circumstances encourage it.

Nurturant family values are based primarily on empathy, fairness and happiness. These values underlie both the social justice movements and socialism, and are incompatible with chauvinism. Notice also that while this value system is gender-neutral, those who consider it from the perspective of the strict father model must categorize it as feminine, because from that perspective it is “the other” and therefore “lesser than”.

Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness

I submit that economic systems can be characterized in terms of family value systems. Capitalism is inherently chauvinistic, in that it is (at minimum) a straightforward application of classism. Moreover, every other form of chauvinism can and has been employed by capitalists to enhance their wealth and power, naturally at the expense of others. This makes capitalism incompatible with the principles of empathy, fairness and happiness, with the natural result that capitalist societies tend to be cruel, unjust and miserable.

Socialism (the essential idea that workers have power over what happens to them in the workplace) is motivated by nurturant family values (i.e. fairness and empathy), and therefore good socialist systems are designed to maximize empathy, fairness and happiness. I submit that socialism is naturally fulfills the Declaration of Independence’s primary goals of “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness”. In this document, I intend to suggest a form of socialism that I believe can best fulfill those goals.

Life

The model for a sane society should be “survival is free, but you must work for luxury”. Providing the necessities of life should reduce the death, sickness, exploitation (both in the workplace and in the home) and misery that result from not having these things, while allowing a market for luxuries should provide an attractive incentive for people to work (especially for jobs that are necessary but not as exciting or enjoyable as others). The arts would be stimulated, since starvation would no longer be a barrier to pursuing that work full-time.

The basic survival needs that should be provided to everyone by the state without charge, including:

housing

food

water

clothing

hygiene products

health care

abuse shelters

sanitation

baby supplies

In addition to these, these other services should be provided by the state without charge, as an investment in the health and productivity of the nation, and as a way to reduce overhead costs for individual proprietorships:

education

mass transit

child care

electricity

While loss of life is an inevitable consequence of armed conflict, in the civilian arena the death penalty should be abolished. There are too many downsides to allowing the state to execute people for crimes (either real or imagined), and many upsides to sentencing the worst criminals to life in prison.

War, whether declared explicitly or engaged with a political wink and a nod, has in the past been too frequently engaged in and too rarely for just causes. Any armed conflict should be approved by public referendum within thirty days of its start, and re-authorized every year by public referendum in order to continue. Without good cause for war, even a fearful public will eventually become exhausted and lose interest, and the government will be forced to withdraw.

Liberty

The justice system of the United States is built on a chauvinist premise; that bad people can be improved through punishment. According to this system, “bad people” are those who rich chauvinists dislike. Among adults, the police are the public-facing edge of this system, and their purpose is to exercise lethal force against those “bad people” who refuse to surrender. In theory, the police can exercise discretion to soften the harshness of the law, but instead they use it to subjugate marginalized communities, and they always uphold the demands of the capitalist order.

The public deserves to live free from armed occupation. The police must be fired and replaced with effective, non-oppressive alternatives. The vast majority of so-called criminals are victims of unjust laws that serve as a means of public control, and that are unequally applied. Laws against “victimless crimes” should be eliminated, people convicted for them should be freed and their criminal records should be expunged of them. Real criminal activity can be reduced dramatically with social programs that satisfy all of the basic needs of the citizenry. The need for traffic patrols should be eliminated by replacing private cars with robust public traffic networks. Many violent crimes can be prevented with non-violent approaches like the “Cure Violence” program. Property crimes, fights and other lesser crimes can be handled as civil disputes.

However, there is one class of crime that does require law enforcement, namely crimes of chauvinism. These are crimes committed by members of privileged groups against members of marginalized groups, or by those who have more power against those who have less power. The reason is that neutrality and neglect always favor the bully; therefore, some form of formal justice system is required to remove chauvinists from society and restore balance.

Examples of such crimes include terrorism, torture, sexual assault, hate crimes, hate speech, domestic abuse, child abuse, abuse of authority, violating public protections (labor, environmental, financial, etc), murder and capital accumulation.

I should make a special note about the word “terrorism”. I consider terrorism to be the commission of violence against civilians to inspire fear. A civilian is anyone who is not a member of the dominant class or one of their armed agents.

Crimes against children are especially awful, not only because they are powerless to resist, and not only because they have fewer legal rights to protect them, but also because the damage done to a child cuts deeper and lasts longer - sometimes for generations. Ending or at least reducing the frequency of these crimes has the potential to eliminate incalculable levels of intergenerational suffering, but it also has social consequences. Children are naturally empathetic; it is fear and abuse drive it out of them, corrupting our society and robbing us all of what might be.

These also happen to be crimes which our present police force has utterly failed to pursue with any serious commitment or vigor. This is due, no doubt, to the intellectual consistency between the chauvinism of the police forces’ mission, training, regulations, equipment and management on the one hand and the chauvinism that underlies the crimes themselves. Nor should there be much surprise when our current police forces commit these crimes themselves, or when the system protects them from prosecution.

The logical conclusion is that a new police force, focused on pursuing the perpetrators of chauvinist crimes, must be formed. Half of these police should be women. Police training should focus on deescalation and a more just approach to law enforcement. Regulations concerning police should eliminate the double standard that currently grants police carte blanche to murder at will. Their equipment should be demilitarized. Police management should be restructured to reflect a civilian, rather than military, mode of organization. Internal affairs should work with their own district attorneys, whose only roles are to prosecute police abuses.

While imprisonment can and should be minimized, it is difficult to reconcile the complete elimination of prisons with the need to protect the public from chauvinist crimes, and the elimination of the death penalty exacerbates this problem. At the same time, jails and prisons (when they are used) should have three goals in mind:

to avoid making mal-adjusted citizens worse

to minimize recividism

to rehabilitate those who can be rehabilitated

To accomplish these ends, prisoners should be protected from harm and from institutional injustices; differences between the prison environment and the external world should be reduced; post-release employment barriers should be reduced to the extent possible; counseling and education programs should be made freely available to all prisoners in the hope that they may find their way before they are released.

The Pursuit of Happiness

The word “happiness” is usually understood in terms that are too subjective to be useful. I suggest that an objective understanding of “the pursuit of happiness” should make use of self-determination theory. That is to say, our focus should be on maximizing these elements:

connectedness

autonomy

competence

Capitalism discourages connectedness, not only by forcing workers to compete against each other (as opposed to working together), but also by creating a socially atomized society. In so many ways, we are driven to consume as individuals, because the behavior of disconnected individuals are easier to analyze, aggregate and manipulate through advertising. A better alternative is not only to build workplaces built on cooperation rather than competition, but also to eliminate advertising and to encourage the development of civil society, eg open source projects, social clubs, support groups, activist groups, political parties, etc.

At the same time, capitalism discourages autonomy by subjecting so much of a person’s life to the control of hierarchies over which they have no influence. Traditional marxists usually assume that this can be addressed through state ownership of the means of production, but this is false. To encourage an individual’s sense of autonomy, that individual needs to have more input in those things that affect their lives, which of course is the essence of democracy. To encourage individual autonomy, democratic decision-making approaches can be used, but eliminating unnecessary restrictions on individual workers and customers can also give people the space they need to breathe.

While capitalists value and reward competence, they don’t like to develop it. They don’t like to pay for training, and they don’t like giving workers enough time to think or to experiment or to validate their proposals. Moreover, capitalist systems discourage competence in areas that don’t directly contribute to private profits. Instead, society should provide academic and job training free of charge, both to high school graduates and to older adults who wish or need to learn more.

Economic class can be, and has been, defined in a number of ways, each with different consequences for one’s worldview. I believe that economic class should be based on the concept of “the rich and powerful”. This gives us two classes; a dominant class (those who subdue others to empower themselves) and the under class (those who don’t). The dominant class is populated by managers, investors and large political donors, whereas the under class is populated by slaves, workers, the self-employed, prisoners, volunteers and stay-at-home caretakers.

I believe that Bichler and Nitzan’s theory of Capital as Power is the best explanation for why capitalists do what they do, and how they relate to government. This theory claims, in a nutshell, that capitalists are motivated by a desire to maximize market control rather than profit per se. This is consistent with both capitalists’ strategic statements and their actions, both in public and in private, and their analyses are of that odd, elegant sort that seem puzzling before you read them but obvious afterwards. As far as I can tell, their theory explains capitalist behavior better than both marxist and marginal utility theories.

Artificial divisions between members of the underclass have been created by the dominant class. Whereas the self-employed is in reality a free worker, they may see themselves as an aspiring member of the dominant class. Highly paid workers may look down on poorly paid workers. The work of stay-at-home workers is completely ignored. Marginalized groups are criminalized under flimsy pretenses, imprisoned and then either excluded from the workforce, or forced into slavery (which simultaneously robs others in the underclass of useful work).

Creating a Socialist Economy

To design a socialist economy, I begin with these premises:

state seizure of production is the only way to survive the climate apocalypse

luxuries should require work

people want to work

people dislike working for others

Seizure of Production

The national government must seize the energy and transportation industries to force a rapid transition to renewable energy and fuel sources. The government should nationalize other industries that cannot be allowed to fail, or that cannot function as a free market with many buyers and many sellers. These include, but are not limited to the insurance, war, utility and education industries. PBS should be expanded to emulate the BBC, providing multiple channels of free, high quality shows and movies to the public. [private property] These changes will ensure cooperation in our efforts to survive the climate apocalypse, while also removing the greatest organizational threats to future generations.

However, public ownership alone simply replaces several hierarchical organizations with one hierarchical organization. Unless this organizational structure is changed, workers will still suffer from alienation. To address this, the public sector should:

adopt an “open source culture” that involves the Deming management philosophy, internal crowdsourcing, collaborative work and an emphasis on personal freedom and professional development

give workers the power to elect executive boards, which in turn will control management appointments

organize small offices (eg. schools) as co-ops. if they choose to have managers, those managers should be elected (or hired) by co-op members.

Banks should be reorganized as regional credit unions. Tenants of rental properties should be empowered to evict their landlords, and to make citizens’ arrests if they resist (while offering military support to those who need it). Idle homes should be seized, renovated and given to needy families.

Creators of music, independent films and various other forms of art should receive taxpayer funds according to their popularity. To avoid the problems caused by casting child actors, and to alleviate the stress caused by filming sex scenes, 3d technology should replace those roles.

A Social Market

If the national government takes over all businesses, it may not be able to properly handle some demands. Some people will desire greater independence than public agencies can offer (despite the reforms I’ve suggested). Some markets could be made to function as something like free markets, which according to classical economics maximizes employment and minimizes profit margins. Finally, workers in the private sector are better able to agitate for better conditions, and under the right conditions those conditions can spread to the private sector. In other words, the private sector should be used as a laboratory to bring new ideas to light, and as a check against government overreach. To achieve all of these ends, I believe that a private market should still exist, but one with social characteristics.

Large companies that haven’t already been nationalized and that can be broken up, (including media companies and restaurant chains) should be broken up. All business ownership arrangements should be invalidated and all non-management employees should be given equal, non-transferrable voting shares (transforming workers into owners and managers into employees). Temporary, part-time and outsourced workers should be banned, forcing companies to properly staff themselves. If threats are made against cooperatives, they should be armed. Sole proprietorships should be organized into retailer’s cooperatives, to take advantage of economies of scale, and to try to encourage proprietors to think in less conservative ways. New companies should either be cooperatives or sole proprietorships.

As much as possible should be done to push markets towards the ideal of a theoretical free market (i.e. competition is on price alone, no one can influence the market price, many buyers, many sellers, no barriers to market entry or exit, etc.). Product networks like amazon.com should be nationalized and tweaked to favor local businesses, and all advertising should be banned. Where practical, products should be standardized, and anti-competitive practices should be strictly prohibited. Business chains should be prohibited, keeping businesses small.

At the same time, market protections (labor, environmental, financial, etc) should limit the negative results of market competition. The advantage of enacting these laws in a society without a corporate elite is that these protections can continue to exist as long as the public supports them.

Agribusiness in the United States is interesting. Most US citizens refuse to work on factory farms for low wages under slave-like conditions, but undocumented immigrants will do so in order to survive. Therefore, when undocumented immigrants are unable to work on factory farms, the crops rot in the fields. However, when people own their own and work their own lands, they fight hard to keep them. Moreover, small farms produce more than factory farms (although they’re more labor-intensive and therefore more expensive).

Factory farms should be seized and given to small agricultural cooperatives, which can give us the advantage of higher productivity while also allowing us to ban child farm labor. Moreover, research should be done to make small farming safer and easier for the adults who work them. If threats are made against cooperatives, they should be armed.

The morality of sex work, and of its prohibition, is complicated by the socioeconomic system within which that work is embedded. In an economic system which compels people to work to survive, the value of a worker’s consent is reduced by their ability of to withhold it, and the erosion of consent in sexual relations is especially worrying. On the other hand, an economic system which separates earned income from survival lacks this problem. Studies have shown that legalizing sex work increases human trafficking, but other evidence shows that legalizing sex work also reduces crimes committed against sex workers. Finally, there is the observation that many (though certainly not all) sex workers report that they felt driven to their careers by economic desperation. If everyone’s basic needs were provided for, it seems likely that fewer people would become sex workers, and more would retire sooner.

In a socialist society, I suggest that the ideal solution to these problems is to fully legitimize sex work (i.e. not only to legalize it, but to uphold labor rights within this industry), while simultaneously increasing prosecution of crimes against sex workers and of anti-trafficking efforts.

Worker strikes are a legitimate avenue of democratic control, even in a socialist society. They are also a safety value to relieve public frustration. If unions are organized on an industrial basis rather than a trade basis, union activity can also serve as a way to reduce divisions within the under class. This is important because even after the formation of a socialist government, those who grew up under capitalists will have to outgrow old habits. Unions must be allowed to form easily (preferably on an industrial basis), and they must not be directed by the state.

Social space must also be created for conservatives, whose numbers are great, and whose worldview is incompatible with worker cooperatives and union shops. Moreover, a certain percentage of people are genetically biased towards conservative thought; they cannot help the way they were born any more than anyone else can. To allow these people the space to breathe, single-family farms and single proprietorships must be allowed to continue alongside cooperatives and employee-owned corporations.

This point is actually very important. Throughout this document, I’ve put great stress on the dangers of chauvinism and of chauvinists. However, a few moments’ thought reveals that half of the United States population comfortably fits that description, and at least another quarter of the population is chauvinist enough to casually accept genocide and other abominations as “necessary evils”. Society must include an escape hatch for those who cannot cope with the transition to socialism, while allowing for everyone else to move forward. The alternative to this approach is to provoke an even greater armed resistance than might be expected, just at the time when cooperation is needed to survive the coming climate disaster. “I told you so” is no substitute for success.

I should say something about “bourgeoisie economics”. So-called “saltwater economics” turns out to predict market outcomes better than any other economic theory, and as such would still be useful for managing that sector of the economy that remains in private hands. In fact, under socialist conditions, it should work even better, because large businesses simply wouldn’t exist in these markets. Furthermore, responsible economists could use Hyman Minsky’s business cycle theory to counsel credit unions and public banks against irrational optimism (a less likely outcome in a capitalist society).

Open Source

While open source software has prospered in capitalist societies, I believe that its true potential is constrained by programmers’ need to work to survive. In a socialist society this would no longer be true; programmers dedicated to open source could work part-time (or perhaps not at all) while still being able to contribute to projects that interest them.

At the same time, open source projects are woefully under-developed outside of academia and the computer software industry. A society whose institutions are largely non-profit can afford to use the open source approach to most forms of knowledge and technology. This has the potential to accelerate technological development, lower barriers to involvement and increase quality beyond the levels that capitalist societies are capable of.

=== Revolution ===

The Declaration of Independence contains two oft-overlooked pieces of wisdom, namely that “governments are instituted among men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed” and “that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed”. These statements are true of every people in every society, even when that consent is purchased with intimidation or with control over information. For though that consent may be eroded, a kernel nevertheless remains, and can be exercised when the ruling elite loses its leverage over the public. That leverage is based on one or both of two things; legitimacy and fear. Elites lose their legitimacy when they can no longer solve the problems their society needs them to solve. Whenever that happens, they resort to violence to maintain their power. To minimize their cognitive dissonance (which is uncomfortable), the public responds to this violence in one of three characteristic ways.

They may withdraw from reality, becoming distracted from it. These distractions could be compulsory, in the form of long work hours, they could be escapist, as popular entertainment can be, or they could appear in the form of transhumanist philosophies that ignore present realities. In the modern United States, these are the people who are, for one reason or another, “nonpolitical”. They may lose themselves in some version of fascist ideology, romanticizing authority, violence, tradition and the past. These are the conservatives, found most obviously in the Republican and Constitution parties. However, some can also be found in the Libertarian and Democratic parties; ask how someone feels about corporate abuses or Democratic presidents’ roles in mass incarceration, war crimes or persecution of whistleblowers, and you should be able to tell who they are.

Finally, they may recognize their plight and the plight of others, embracing a philosophy of empathy and equality and solidarity with others. In today’s United States, the progressives have done this for every marginalized group except the poor. This befits their essential function, which is to save capitalism from the pitchforks of the angry villagers. Only leftists (socialists and left-wing anarchists) consistently apply these values to every marginalized group, including the poor.

The biggest obstacle in spreading this recognition is the problem of bounded rationality, the observation that humans have only so much time and intelligence to process information, and that as a result they are forced to use heuristic methods to solve problems (or to make logical errors or avoid some problems altogether). The key insight here isn’t that humans do these things, but rather that this outcome is inevitable, unavoidable and natural.

This makes maintaining focus on high ideals difficult. Socialism, democracy, revolution, class consciousness and even every-day morality are all susceptible to the limitations of bounded rationality. This is why revolutions are usually sparked by economic downturns, and why people often do not see others’ suffering until they begin to suffer themselves. Perhaps we are wrong to behave this way, but most of us do, and our revolutionary strategy must take human behavior into account.

In the case of the United States, it seems likely that no revolution will occur uncontrollable acceleration of the climate emergency occurs. Only then will a sizable majority of the population become convinced that fundamental change is required, and at that point the question will have changed from “how do we prevent the climate catastrophe” to “how do we survive it?”

After the great depression, capitalism was saved from both its most self-destructive impulses and from popular unrest through legal reforms, but those reforms left wealth and power in the hands of those who had caused it. Eventually they wanted to accumulate even more wealth and power, so they tore down those reforms and took what they wanted. These events teach us that gradual reform cannot bring about fundamental socioeconomic change because the rich and powerful will always use their wealth and power to block it.

Rapid, violent revolution is likewise impossible in the United States. The state is too well-armed and its existence isn’t threatened by a large-scale external military conflict. There is exactly one avenue for revolution left, which is the general strike. But it is not enough for marginalized communities to strike. While their efforts can effect positive change, the state is more eager to commit violence against marginalized people than against privileged people. Therefore, privileged people must participate in even larger numbers.

Social revolutionaries must also have a clear post-revolutionary plan in mind. The lack of a post-revolutionary plan has led to severe problems in real-world socialist revolutions, from the Russian revolution of 1917 to the German revolution of 1918 to the Chinese civil war of 1945. Socialist societies are as difficult to run and maintain as they are to establish, and their design should not be overlooked.

A general strike must demand not only the formation of a new constitutional convention, but one whose delegates are elected by those who engage in the strike itself. This is critically important, because corporate-owned governments must not be allowed to hijack the process.

Furthermore, a general strike must also have some idea of the policies it wishes to implement once the new constitution has been put into place. A constitution is a starting point, but the policies enabled by it are the real work.

Finally, defense against counter-revolutionaries must be taken into account. Within the United States, there are many who publicly declare that they would rather kill and die to prevent their government from aiding the poor, women or minorities. Furthermore, the United States has a long history of violent corporate suppression of leftist and progressive ideas. To assume that these elements would peacefully accept a socialist revolution within the United States defies all sense. I believe that the proper way to anticipate and deal with these existential threats is to use traditional police investigations and military deployments against domestic terrorists and insurgents.

=== New Constitution ===

Protected Rights

A new constitution should begin by paraphrasing the Declaration of Independence, centering “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness” as the core of all human rights, and of rights of the citizenry. It should further state that not only does the public retain rights not listed within the constitution, but that it is necessary and proper that future reflection on the constitution should widen society’s understanding of the rights retained by natural persons, and by the citizens.

These statements should then be followed by a longer list of protected rights than are explicitly stated in our current constitution, if only to prevent unnecessary arguments from those who would deny those rights to others. While such a list is too long to list here, it should certainly include unconditional bans on slavery, torture and rape; freedom from oppression; and freedoms of expression, conscience, intimacy, etc.

A note on rape: rape should be legally defined as sex without freely given consent, with the additional condition that some conditions (including but not limited to childhood, intoxication and intellectual disability) eliminate or reduce that freedom. In cases that do not involve a white person accusing a non-white defendant, the defendant should be presumed guilty until proven innocent. This case is special in that most accusations are true, and yet most rapists go free under the presumption of innocence standard. At the same time, false accusations of rape are most commonly rooted in white supremacy. To recognize these truths allows for the pursuit of real justice, rather than the continued support and enablement of rapists everywhere.

It should nevertheless also be explicitly stated that (with certain exceptions), the limits of individual freedom are harm to, endangerment of and chauvinism against others. The first condition follows from the principle of equality; we cannot be equally free if my actions prevent you from acting as freely as I do. The second is equally important, though less obvious; if my actions endanger your freedom to act, then they unjustly put your safety at risk, even if that infringement is not guaranteed.

The last condition involves systemic cause and effect rather than direct cause and effect; for example, hate speech can increase the chances of a so-called “lone-wolf” terrorist event, even if there may be no way of predicting the specific chain of events that connects a specific utterance of hate speech and a specific terrorist event. This ambiguity, and the public’s lack of understanding of systemic cause and effect, give cover to oppressors, their supporters and their enablers. However, socialists are keenly aware of these problems, and of their threats to society. While loss of life is an inevitable consequence of armed conflict, in the civilian arena the death penalty should be abolished. There are too many downsides to allowing the state to execute people for crimes (either real or imagined), and many upsides to sentencing the worst criminals to life in prison.

Treason

Treason should be defined explicitly, in exactly the way it is defined in our current constitution. The mis-use of treason charges has been a source of much injustice throughout history, and its current definition is a just and good innovation.

Socialist Democracy

We know that capitalists can increase their market share (and their profits) by manipulating democratic institutions. We also know that chauvinists will always make excuses for those capitalists’ manipulations. Capitalists and chauvinists disenfranchise and marginalize those who resist victimhood. When that isn’t enough, they arrest or murder their victims en masse.

Those who would oppress others and/or tear down democratic institutions must be prevented from doing so. Whenever they are recognized, chauvinists must be barred from voting, from owning firearms and from holding positions of power over others (including political office, supervisory positions, law enforcement, military, chaplain positions and teaching). This principle must be enshrined in the constitution; democracy shall be reserved for those who support it, and chauvinists are to be barred from participating in it.

A note about prohibiting chauvinists from owning firearms: we know that domestic abusers use them to murder their partners, and that white supremacists have used them to mass-murder black, Native American and Jewish people. These are society’s oppressors; arming them supports oppression.

However, these restrictions alone may not be enough to prevent a socialist democracy from returning to capitalism. To further guard against this, a constitution should include defensive language, enforced by the judiciary, requiring that all legally permitted political parties and candidates adhere to certain socialist principles. These should include:

support for worker control of the economy

support for equality of outcome for people of all backgrounds

support for democratic processes

opposition to private companies being owned by people other than their workers

opposition to compulsory labor of any kind

opposition to every kind of chauvinism

Any political party or candidate who fails to meet these criteria should be de-certified by the judiciary, and barred from political office.

The national legislature should consist of a single chamber (eliminating the undemocratic Senate), evenly populated by women and men (ensuring fair representation of women’s perspectives). One third of the legislature should be elected every three years (to reduce the chances of wild swings of power balances), using a nation-wide party-list system (to ensure proportional representation) and the approval voting method (or something comparable; to alleviate the pressure to vote for less desirable candidates). Votes on new laws, approvals of appointees and votes to cease debate should all require simple majorities (to reduce the chances of partisan gridlock).

The executive should consist of a prime minister and a cabinet, elected every three years by the legislature. The prime minister and members of the cabinet should be removable at any time by a vote of “no confidence” on any pretext whatsoever, including but not limited to criminal activity, corruption, negligence, chauvinism or treason. The prime minister should be elected from the legislature, but this requirement shouldn’t be applied by the constitution to the other cabinet members (some of whom might benefit from specialist expertise).

At the time of the adoption of the new constitution, the members of the judiciary should be replaced by the prime minister, with the approval of at least half the legislature. At least half of the members of each multi-member court must be women, and half of all judges must be women. Future members of the judiciary should be appointed by the highest court within the judiciary rather than by the legislature in order to protect the nation’s socialist commitments from political corruption. Nevertheless, the legislature should have the power to impeach and remove judges for criminal activity, corruption, negligence, chauvinism or treason.

All levels of government, from the national level to the municipal, including all of the companies seized and retained by those governments, should share a single budget. This will allow poor communities to stop financing their needs with traffic fines and fees against the poor, it will give the public greater input in how their taxes are used and it will address socialism’s calculation problem. The participatory budgeting approach should be used to allocate these funds, and participants should be considered to be public sector union members, public housing tenants union members and legislators (including members of town hall governments). An environmental impact premium should be added to the labor cost of extracting raw materials.

Liberal societies have long claimed that one purpose of public education is to equip the citizenry to become responsible stewards of democratic societies, and yet those same societies delay their citizens, once educated, from voting or holding office. The result is that young, educated citizens become too discouraged to vote, or perhaps accustomed to not voting, by the time they’ve become old enough to do so, and they’ve likely forgotten the relevant preparation they’d received. Society is then left in the hands of older, more conservative people, who are reluctant (or unable) to learn from and adapt to changing circumstances. If we are to take such ideals seriously, and if we are to survive both present and future crises, we should set the voting age at age sixteen, and we should allow anyone who can vote to hold office.

Lower Governments

The lowest level of government should be the citizen’s assembly. Depending on a region’s popular concentration, this could represent a town, a neighborhood or a rural county. This assembly would consist of all eligible voters, who would vote directly to both propose and ratify legislation. Legislative meetings would be led by the city council, who would serve rotating two-week positions, chosen by lot from among the citizenry. Professional managers could also be hired by the council, removable at any time by the council, or by the assembly.

Higher governments, up to and including provincial governments, would consist of single legislative bodies of delegates sent by lower governments, in numbers based on their relative populations, and recallable at any time. These governments would similarly be led by executive councils, populated by rotating positions chosen by lot from among the delegates. They would also have the option to hire professional managers, removable at any time by the council, or by the delegates.

Areas with enough citizens to form assemblies, but with too few non-chauvinists to vote, should be run by managers hired by the provincial government. This balance should be re-assessed periodically until normal government can replace them. The popular assembly would retain the sole power to send non-voting delegates to the next level of government.

To further rationalize their organization, I suggest drawing the lines of the provinces to create fewer provinces to be relatively compact, to have more uniform populations, to align with existing lines of communication and to be fairly reflective of the populations of the time. (If we were doing it right now, I would personally favor the 2011 MIT cell phone map mention here.)

Native Americans

Native Americans are full US citizens, and as such should also receive the same social benefits and protections as every other citizen. However, our nation has not only established treaties with native tribes, but it owes them a blood debt that can never be repaid. This the reason native benefits must be honored. Moreover, the history of the United States is replete with betrayals of Native Americans’ trust; therefore, a new constitution should offer better guarantees than any law or treaty can offer.

Reservations should be converted into “commonwealths”, whose borders cannot be reduced, but which can be expanded or combined on their own initiative. Reservations should enjoy first jurisdiction for all legal matters within their borders, including definitions of inheritance rights. National approval should not be required to pass laws on reservation land, although if conflicts with national law arise, the national law should take precedence.

Native American reservations should collectively be guaranteed at least one voting representative in the legislature (or more, if their percentage of the overall population merits it). The national government must also provide funding for the preservation of the many aspects of native culture, so that their past will not be forgotten. National funding for environmental cleanup of polluted reservation lands must also be constitutionally guaranteed.

=== Policies ===

Dechauvinism

Initially, one should begin with something like the Soviet Union’s denazification program in East Germany; identified chauvinists should be barred from teaching, law enforcement, the military, supervisory positions, political office and chaplain jobs. They should not be allowed to own firearms, and any firearms they possess should be confiscated. This should be followed by something like West Germany’s self-reflective “vergangenheitsbewältigung” period.

All members of the Republican, Constitution and Libertarian parties, anyone who voted for far-right presidential candidates, and any white people who didn’t support progressive or leftist presidential candidates should be classified as chauvinists. Rebels, supervisors, anyone convicted of chauvinist crimes, members of known chauvinist organizations (i.e. hate groups), self-identified chauvinists (via survey), and diagnosed narcissists, psychopaths, sadists and machiavelists should also be classified as chauvinists. Genetic and psychological tests should be used to identify, discharge and screen current and future soldiers and police for innate chauvinist tendencies.

The police should immediately be disarmed, fired and replaced en masse, so as to stop them from oppressing the populace. At the same time, sweeping pardons and commutations should be issued for the unjustly criminalized. These include, but are not limited to, those convicted of drug-related crimes, those convicted of defending themselves against attackers and those convicted of attacking their abusers. The right to vote should also be restored to all those who have been released from prison. With certain exceptions, those interviewing people for jobs should be prohibited from asking about a job applicant’s criminal history, and discrimination against those who’ve been arrested, charged or convicted for a crime should be made illegal. Drug prohibition should end, all drug interdiction efforts should cease and drug addiction should be treated as a public health issue.

Dealing with Terrorists and Counter-Revolutionaries

Within the United States, there are many who publicly declare that they would rather kill and die to prevent their government from aiding the poor, women or minorities. Indeed; even under President Trump, some have already been emboldened to murder their political and ideological opponents. Furthermore, the United States has a long history of violent corporate suppression of leftist and progressive ideas. To assume that these parties would peacefully accept a socialist revolution within the United States defies all sense. I believe that the proper way to anticipate and deal with these existential threats is to use traditional police investigations and military deployments against domestic terrorists and insurgents.

When deploying the military to arrest terrorists and insurgents, I suggest using the official liberal standard of law enforcement. That is to say, that those who comply should be taken alive. Those who do not comply should be met with lethal force. Conservatives are fond of telling black victims of police brutality that “they should have cooperated”. When they use violence to terrorize others, or when they threaten to overthrow the people’s government, they should receive the same message in turn.

Green Transformation

To survive the impending climate catastrophe, we must stop contributing to it. This requires a rapid transition to renewable sources of power and fuel, drastic cuts to the US military, robust mass transit networks, an international open-source green technology development effort, debt forgiveness for the global south and a carbon rent paid to the global south to re-plant and maintain the rainforests.

These goals can only be accomplished through the institution of a socialist economy. We can no longer afford to trade survival for the enrichment of a few old white men. By the time a successful general strike becomes possible, the obviousness of this truth will have become painfully apparent.

Law Enforcement

All police officers should be fired. Unarmed violence prevention teams modeled after programs like “cure violence” should be deployed in major cities and drug prohibition should be eliminated. New police forces should be built with new regulations, new management, new training, new equipment (including a ban on firearms and military equipment) and a new focus. That focus must be to target the enforcement of chauvinist crimes, to wit:

terrorism, torture, sexual assault, hate crimes, hate speech, domestic abuse, child abuse, abuse of authority, violating public protections (labor, environmental, financial, etc), murder, capital accumulation

Native Americans

Native American tribes that have been recognized by state governments should also be recognized by the national government, and tribes that have been unfairly stripped of their recognition should be re-certified. An aggressive effort must be made to expand native lands under tribal control.

Gun Control

A good gun control policy in a socialist society should rest on three observations:

high concentrations of firearms among the general populace leads to higher death rates

chauvinists tend to use firearms against women and minorities

the poor need arms to defend themselves against chauvinist oppression

Accordingly, gun ownership among civilians should be restricted to shotguns for those who can demonstrate that they are members of a vulnerable population; that they can pass written, marksmanship and psychiatric tests; who don’t already possess a firearm; and who haven’t been identified as chauvinists.

#socialism

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