#i dont want to panic about it anymore

[ganondoodle]

started to write a whole post about starting to doubt myself immediately, but had to stop bc i was falling into an intense panic attack so fast like i dont think i ever had before- now being conscious again i deleted all the panic talk-

i know i speak from a place of priviledge, but also know that the priviledged should speak up- so i tried, knowing i cannot handle situation like this well, even after all this time

ill turn off anon for a while, sorry nice anons :(

[brittie-frog]

Silently screaming in my room at 7am because of that date.

Truely Richas, fuck around and find out - engineering a whole rp in rp thing in his room to get them to admit their feelings and then Bagi just giving up and saying that the date'll happen then and there. And it being so chaotic and constantly shifting moods but still so fun to watch.

[protosstar]

.

[frosted-plasma]

what’s your thoughts on the Futurama revival

Anon I'm so sorry you're going to be victim to the longest post you will ever see. I hate it I hate it I hate it

HUGE /neg rant incoming (this show is my special interest and has been for YEARS. This will all be rambling)

THEY FUCKING COMPLETELY DISREGARDED "MEANWHILE." It directly contradicts it. "I offered to reset time to the moment before time stopped!" Okay, but you didn't though. The entire tragedy of the ending was that they'd be doomed to relive their lives from the moment they met (s1 e1) on loop. "Want to go around again?" Okay so that line doesn't make sense anymore!!! I had theories upon theories before the season came out and I was beyond disappointed. This show has shown it can do deep thought-out themes, I was fully hoping for them to show them reliving the past again, maybe its their 1,000th time reliving it, maybe Fry or Leela notices for once that something is familiar about it. Hell maybe there's a 1 in a million chance that they DON'T break the button! Free will and all, maybe things aren't 100% the same each run and they get lucky once. This also could have been used to recap old seasons for people who didn't rewatch them

They don't know how much time has passed?? I understand that was an excuse to make it the year 3023, but why would you do that? What's the point??

Things such as the Scary Door reboot don't make sense, not to mention the overuse of "haha it's a reboot!! Get it?? It's a reboot!! We got cancelled!!!" jokes but I'll get to that later. Timeline things just don't make sense anymore because of the time freeze. It's an awful awful awful writing choice. They unfroze time right where it paused, canonically, they show them unfreezing exactly there, it makes zero sense. How is there new technology and new TV shows when no time has passed. I'm ignoring that it's "10 years later" because it isn't, you can't just say that without showing it, it literally isn't

Even the smaller jokes feel very dragged out? Like Bender laughing at Fry setting a goal in episode one. He laughs and Leela smacks him, his head spins around and it's funny, then his body does an extra spin for no reason other than to emphasize that it's a joke? I guess? And then not even a minute later she slaps his hand again and it dramatically flies back and hits Zoidberg. Do you get what I'm saying? It's just too much focus on every single bit

I do like the updated intro! The added details to the city in the background is super super cool!! I love the thought they put into it (Bender hanging out of the ship on the magnet is a bit much considering all of the other references they included, but I'll let it slide. Just doesn't feel necessary to me in the intro)

The animation is rigged now:/ it's bound to happen nowadays, it just feels sad to look at for me (in general, not just with this show) the characters (ESPECIALLY Fry) feel very off model sometimes:(

Fry's hardly in the first episode. Odd writing choice considering he's the main character

Oh my GOD. The Hulu/reboot references. It's EXHAUSTING to watch. The amount of 2023 references they crammed into this season is physically painful, they drag them out for SO LONG

(in the first ep) the non-binary robots joke was funny and the scenes with Calculon and the Robot Devil were the only scenes that felt like old Futurama! Their voice acting was great and it was funny! The rest of the voice acting feels very lackluster and most of the other jokes just didn't get me

Calculon and the Robot Devil were the funniest characters, that's how dumbed down they made Bender, he's not my favorite that season

The plots are just. Bad. I hate to say it I really do. Shut up with the reboot jokes, the covid19 jokes, the only decent one was the bit mining episode because it actually used the idea as a real jumping off point and that episode still wasn't revolutionary. The other half of the episodes are pure callbacks. The one with Amy and Kifs kids was cute because it had a reason to exist! It wasn't a very funny episode but it was cute!! The other ones like the worm parasites in nibblers litter box (OR GOD FORBID THE ONE WHERE THE TIME MACHINE SHOWS UP OUT OF NOWHERE AGAIN WITH NO DRIVER??) make me MAD with how lazy of an excuse they are to cram in a reference without matching the rest of the lore

I'm fully assuming the reboot came from a place of love from the writers and the VAs but personally I didn't think the new season was very funny nor did it add anything new to the series, and it felt very very bland and dumbed down and I didn't even pay attention to the last few episodes because of it (that is saying something coming from me)

I rewatched the first episode for this so this is mainly talking about that one. Tell me if you want me to talk about the others I have so many thoughts this is me summarizing like all hell I hate the plots so much and this is my all time favorite show I'm still going to watch the next season and I still have high hopes for it

[starswallowingsea]

okay i just finished sleep tight by jh markert and christ alive what the fuck was that. i gave it 1.75/5 on storygraph and 2 stars on goodreads bc like. girl.

so the first thing is like. the most minor thing i'm going to complain about but it definitely needed one last line by line edit. how did they fuck up the daughter's name at the end and call her julie instead of julia when julie hadn't been an established nickname for her. there were a bunch of other lines that just felt like they were repeating what we already knew or didn't need to be there like we didnt need a line saying "that tess already knew because noah had told them in the car" <- not exact idc enough to go back and look but we know. we were THERE you do not have to remind us that they know this information okay.

now onto the rest of the book. so the concept is that after serial killer posing as a priest to lure victims in is executed by the state, a cult that formed around him decides they're going to get revenge on the people who locked him up and ultimately revealed that they're going to revive him with the help of the real mastermind. which i thought the serial killer priest would have been cooler than it was but whatevs thats on me. howeverrrrrrrr one of the early chapters was from the pov of a gravedigger/grave security guy and he talks about the group he just joined but explicitly called it a cult which was so. the word cult is very loaded and high control groups do not like to use it for themselves because of that and they'll use something else like group or religion for their cult even if people on the outside are calling it a cult. have you ever met an mlm girly like come on.

the mystery itself was laid out decently enough with the eyes and not so subtle hints that were dropped but the worst part of this was the fucking weird ass attempt at portraying DID. I am going to give markert the benefit of the doubt that he was trying his best and anyone reading this review who has DID is free to comment on this but i am not under the impression that most people know when a new alter fronts and that voices don't really change especially around strangers. also other than oskar and ruth, all of noah's alters were real people and 5 of them were people who he watched die and he just took on their personalities in his head and they don't age because the people they were based on stopped aging (ie died). they talked about it like he just absorbed their souls into his headspace??? and yes they could tell when someone switched to front because of his voice and like. the fact that two of them wear glasses and will put them on to front. i might be wrong and again correct me if i am but this does not seem like how it works when systems meet strangers for the first time especially ones that get violent and upset when they cant get the alter they want to front to front.

sticking with the theme of weird insensitivities about trauma, why was fuckhead justin so insistent that tess needed to forceably relive her trauma (which was revealed at the end of the book and ngl kinda anticlimactic) to try and fill in gaps in her memory from when she was 13 because it made him upset? like dude she probably shouldn't be doing that if she doesn't want to its buried for a reason leave her alone!! and the fact that their relationship went back to business as usual after everything was so!!!!! i think they should have gotten divorced anyway there is no way this is going to work out long term sorry.

and finally i get that american police just shoot indiscriminately but killing benjamin in front of 11 young children seemed kinda unnecessary. especially when they were crowded around him and could easily have been caught in the crossfire but magically weren't and the bullets only hit ben. sorry but at least one of those kids should have had some sort of gun related injury from that if not more if you were going to kill ben.

[girlivealwaysbean]

hey god if you've created someone for me can you introduce me to them sooner? i kinda need them now

[shortnsweetgf]

i need to vent about something that happened and i’ll do it in the tags of this post and i dont really know how to trigger it but it may be triggering so yeah maybe dont read it idc i just need to talk to the void

[bobasnonbeliever]

only posting this here because i dont think anyone will see it. i need to get this out

im so fucking tired of my life. im tired of caring, like, in general. as stupid as it sounds, i was watching kitchen nightmares, and gordon said something about a chef or an owner, i dont remember exactly, he said; "losing hope is a scary thing to do, when theres just no more light at the end of the tunnel, it takes you down dark paths." or something like that. and ive been suicidal/depressed since i was 9, but i thought to myself "im not hopeless, am i?". the more i thought about it, the worse i felt because, god no, im not hopeless. im helpless, or maybe i wallow too much in my own self pity. i dont know the difference. every goddamn day feels like another waking nightmare, im sick of living with my mom, im sick of her not letting me get a job. i dont want my name on the damn electric bill because shes over $1,000 in debt to the power company anymore. shes already ruining my credit, and i dont even have a damn job! not to mention her fucking kid, her 5yo fucking kid, im taking care of. the product of the man who beat me over and over again, threatened to kill me, and then he took a greyhound bus out of our lives. why didnt she protect me? he never once hit her, or anyone else, why didnt mom help me? i was only 13 when he first pulled me by my hair and slammed me into the stairs because i let moms ice cream tub melt on the kitchen table for half an hour. it took him till my brother was 3 to leave. she valued him over me, and even now. im always taking care of my brother, even when he screams at me, cusses at me, throws things at me, spits on me, hits me, kicks me, claws me, bites me, and more. you get the point. she never even tells him to stop, she doesnt have to scream, or hurt him, or anything. just please, please tell them to stop hurting me. i still take care of him. i take care of him when she takes 20 fucking benadryl and passes out for the full time shes at home between shifts. i sacrificed my education to "help her" take care of him. and she gets mad at me when i parent him, when i tell him off, or even more mad when i have to cry and beg him to stop hurting me. she says "youre 22 years old, get a grip" when im covered in bruises from the 5 year old "hes five!" she will scream when i tell her he hurts me. "he is five, hes supposed to listen to you" i said once, and she just stared at me. im always fucking things up, she never fails to let me know, when she looks at me like that i know its my fault. i cant even begin on my relationship, i shouldnt, he might see this. i just want to give up, im so tired of caring, i want to let it all go. my dog died, i ruined him too, i couldnt take him to the vet i couldnt help him. hes gone because i failed. my baby, im not saying that in the cringy melinial way, he saved me from suicide. so many times, it was "hell be so confused why im gone..", "hes gonna miss me", "whos gonna take care of him?" but now hes gone and im still here. my baby, is gone and im so selfishly still here. why wouldnt she let me get a job? i couldve taken him, i couldve at least got him put down so he didnt have to suffer in his favourite spot on my bed till his kidneys put him down for us. if i didnt know, my boyfriend would kill himself too when he comes home from classes tomorrow, and i was dead, i would take the entire 160 count bottle of benadryl i stole from moms room. i want to see my baby, he never ever missed on helping me, i owe him my life and couldnt even give him that when he passed. but not for lack of trying.

but even so, i dont feel hopeless. maybe only yearning, but it feels enough like hope. when i use my right hand to stroke my left cheek and neck, it almost feels like someone else. i get a glimmer of a thought, "one day, i wont have to beg to be taken care of. someone will do it because they want to.", but still, it hurts worse. i dont know how i can possibly derive so much gut wrenching pain from that little bit of hope, but i do. and still, i cant help myself, i cant blame anyone else. i can only hope someone will come save me. if i could handle this all on my own, i wouldnt be here typing this.

i want to decompose.

writing this after that monster of a textblock in the tags, but if you were wondering. im not exaggerating about the mess, and i wouldnt normally judge. because i have had worse bedrooms, mental illness is a bitch. but its in the common area, and she absolutely does make the 5yo live in it. she moved out to the living room after their room was too trashed for her to even walk in, so she toated her 50" fucking tv right out there and hasnt moved, accept to go to work, since. everyone pray or cross your fingers or send me some good energy to hope she gets sliced into a million pieces at work instead of accidentally oding on bennies so i can raise my brother with her life insurance money.

[partyswirl]

starting to let go of my anger about stuff that doesn't matter

[forgotten-daydreamer]

"have you eaten?" "yes" i said, like a liar

[sparkleyiff]

Not sure if I'll be doing anything more for artfight this year I am. suffering. sorry :(

[newfeeling77]

i wish i had gotten properly medicated n therapized earlier 1. bc it hasnt even started yet i had one therapy appointment and i wont be feeling the effects of medication for another month and a half and 2. im already feeling regretful of the time i wasted these past few months being depressed. not unhappy just apathetic and frustrated. bc objectively im having a good time n learning new things and making friends like its a really good semester but i havent been able to enjoy it bc im currently incapable of enjoying anything. i can appreciate things, i can acknowledge the positive aspects of my life but they dont give me any positive feelings. instead im just angry or overwhelmed all the time

[nexus-nebulae]

brrrrr (/pos)

[cringefailfagcat]

the way one of my friends offered to get people drinks. one of the others asked for a rum and coke, so i asked for a vodka lemonade n then they stood right behind me and went 'is olive allowed to drink?' it killed something inside me a little bit. like i wasn't episoding i've been responsible about my drinking recently don't take away my autonomy when i'm capable of looking after myself please. i know i barely can but don't. don't make this one of the few things people will actually talk to me for

[k0kichiimagines]

i hate writing cvs and teachers r useless at help i love them and i appreciate it but "i have no skills to put on my cv what should i put" - "aww no everyone has skills just think of something"

[caffeinatedopossum]

I hate how I can't stand to be around anyone I like (not romantically, just like any amount of me liking them) because my social anxiety is so bad. I can't even comprehend a parallel universe where they would want to be friends with me because they're so cool and I suck so much. It's ruined so many relationships for me and I hate it. I hate that I'm like this