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#and acted like we were stupid sometimes and couldnt put things together
starswallowingsea · 3 days
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okay i just finished sleep tight by jh markert and christ alive what the fuck was that. i gave it 1.75/5 on storygraph and 2 stars on goodreads bc like. girl.
so the first thing is like. the most minor thing i'm going to complain about but it definitely needed one last line by line edit. how did they fuck up the daughter's name at the end and call her julie instead of julia when julie hadn't been an established nickname for her. there were a bunch of other lines that just felt like they were repeating what we already knew or didn't need to be there like we didnt need a line saying "that tess already knew because noah had told them in the car" <- not exact idc enough to go back and look but we know. we were THERE you do not have to remind us that they know this information okay.
now onto the rest of the book. so the concept is that after serial killer posing as a priest to lure victims in is executed by the state, a cult that formed around him decides they're going to get revenge on the people who locked him up and ultimately revealed that they're going to revive him with the help of the real mastermind. which i thought the serial killer priest would have been cooler than it was but whatevs thats on me. howeverrrrrrrr one of the early chapters was from the pov of a gravedigger/grave security guy and he talks about the group he just joined but explicitly called it a cult which was so. the word cult is very loaded and high control groups do not like to use it for themselves because of that and they'll use something else like group or religion for their cult even if people on the outside are calling it a cult. have you ever met an mlm girly like come on.
the mystery itself was laid out decently enough with the eyes and not so subtle hints that were dropped but the worst part of this was the fucking weird ass attempt at portraying DID. I am going to give markert the benefit of the doubt that he was trying his best and anyone reading this review who has DID is free to comment on this but i am not under the impression that most people know when a new alter fronts and that voices don't really change especially around strangers. also other than oskar and ruth, all of noah's alters were real people and 5 of them were people who he watched die and he just took on their personalities in his head and they don't age because the people they were based on stopped aging (ie died). they talked about it like he just absorbed their souls into his headspace??? and yes they could tell when someone switched to front because of his voice and like. the fact that two of them wear glasses and will put them on to front. i might be wrong and again correct me if i am but this does not seem like how it works when systems meet strangers for the first time especially ones that get violent and upset when they cant get the alter they want to front to front.
sticking with the theme of weird insensitivities about trauma, why was fuckhead justin so insistent that tess needed to forceably relive her trauma (which was revealed at the end of the book and ngl kinda anticlimactic) to try and fill in gaps in her memory from when she was 13 because it made him upset? like dude she probably shouldn't be doing that if she doesn't want to its buried for a reason leave her alone!! and the fact that their relationship went back to business as usual after everything was so!!!!! i think they should have gotten divorced anyway there is no way this is going to work out long term sorry.
and finally i get that american police just shoot indiscriminately but killing benjamin in front of 11 young children seemed kinda unnecessary. especially when they were crowded around him and could easily have been caught in the crossfire but magically weren't and the bullets only hit ben. sorry but at least one of those kids should have had some sort of gun related injury from that if not more if you were going to kill ben.
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tendouluvr · 3 years
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not telling them you’re pregnant - f!reader
- fluff, sliiiight angst maybe
- characters: suna, sakusa, semi
- warnings: pregnancy (i don’t go into detail of giving birth or anything), cravings, morning sickness aka throwing up, two mention of the act of sex in semi’s, some cursing
- wc: 1.4k, 888, 946
a/n: it’s f!reader cuz pregnancy but there’s no specific pronouns/gendered terms used
also idk how suna got so long, he was the last one i wrote for bc i couldnt think of anything lmao
[2. iwaizumi, atsumu, kageyama]
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SUNA
#! suna has been practicing late into the night the past few weeks
#! there’s a big game coming up and the entire team is feeling the pressure and adrenaline from the crunch time
#! you haven’t been feeling too good lately, a lot heavier and more tired than usual
#! thinking it was just stress from work and the missing presence of your boyfriend, you pushed through it and thought it would go away in the next few days
#! unfortunately, luck wasn’t on your side and you started to get sudden needs to throw up
#! it didn’t take you long to realize why your physical and mental drive have been down lately
#! you’re pregnant
#! or you believe you are
#! you bought a few tests, some of different brands so you can have a variety, and headed home to confirm your suspicion
#! a few minutes later, staring back at you was multiple positive symbols and the bolded ‘PREGNANT’s
#! taking a few deep breaths, you decided to tell suna tonight once he comes home
#! you thought it was better to let him know as soon as possible
#! it wouldn’t hurt anyone plus the faster you rip the bandaid off, the easier it’ll be to deal with it
#! so you waited
#! and waited
#! until 11pm that night, when suna finally came through the front door
#! “tarō! how was practice? can we talk?” you hurriedly greeted him
#! he was taken aback, not expecting you to be right beside him and in his ear as soon as he came in
#! of course you weren’t, you made sure to put some space in between you and him
#! but suna was stressed and tired, so everything is intensified to him at the moment
#! “can you back up?” he mumbled, pushing his way from in front of you to walk to the kitchen
#! “oh, sorry. can we talk?” you sheepishly smiled, hoping he would say yes
#! you’re not blind, you can tell that suna was tired but you really didn’t wanna put this off
#! you were just gonna tell him, he gets surprised, you both talk it out, and then go to bed and continue figuring things out tomorrow morning
#! but before any of that can happen, suna bluntly told you, “no. i’m tired. i’m sure whatever it is isn’t a big deal. can it be tomorrow? i wanna sleep.”
#! you didn’t get to answer before he was already walking away to the bedroom
#! understanding where he was coming from, you mentally agreed to talk to him tomorrow. one day wouldn’t change anything and you’ve seen plenty of people not tell their partners until a few weeks in
#! he was right, it wasn’t a big deal (yet)
#! so you waited until tomorrow
#! and waited
#! and once again, he came home late
#! “hey! can we quickly talk, babe?”
#! “i’m tired. tomorrow, okay?”
#! “oh, okay. night, rin!”
#! “g’night.”
#! night came and there was still no talk
#! this continued on for about 2 weeks, you finally choosing to not care anymore and just let him find out whenever he finds out
#! technically, you could’ve just blurted out a simple, “i’m pregnant.” any point during your nightly five seconds conversations
#! but seeing that he really was tired, springing it onto him would either put him in a full body shock for three days or he just doesn’t fully process your words until three days after
#! a month has passed, your stomach was still barely showing like most women at their one month mark
#! you decided to book an appointment for a checkup, it’ll be while suna’s at practice
#! and that doctor appointment was the exact reason suna found out
#! he was at practice when komori entered the gym
#! he had a doctor’s appointment for his annual checkup, and that’s where he saw you
#! you didn’t see komori, busy reading the directory to find your way to the right office
#! but he saw you on the way out. seeing that you looked a bit busy, he chose not to greet you and just quickly walk to his car lmao why is this funny to me
#! entering the gym, he greeted everyone and apologized for his tardiness even though it was excused
#! walking up to suna, he tapped him on the shoulder and quietly told him, “i saw yn at the hospital earlier. it’s been awhile since we all got together huh, they looked a bit different.”
#! ok so komori, being the smart person he is, deducted that you were pregnant when he saw your finger pointing at the ob/gyn office
#! and he genuinely thought suna knew so his comment was suppose to be a small joke that was meant to tease suna and his sex life
#! suna, however, was confused
#! look different? did you get surgery?
#! “what do you mean?”
#! komori rolled his eyes and gave a sweet smile at suna, “congrats you two! when were you gonna tell the rest of us?”
#! suna: 👨‍🦲 huh
#! “are you guys not pregnant?” he blinked at suna’s frozen reaction
#! suna became unresponsive so komori just walked away mumbling to himself about being sure he read the sign right
#! a loud whistle blew and it shook suna out of his daze, everyone got ready to play a practice game of 3 vs 3 while suna ran over to the coach
#! “hey coach, um i think there’s an emergency at home. can i go? ok thanks.”
#! his coach just stares after him as he sprints off, you think? is there an emergency or not?
#! suna quickly drove home, he may or may not have speed a little, and entered the apartment
#! “yn? baby?” he called out only to be greeted back with silence
#! probably still at the hospital....what were you doing there? he thought to himself while rummaging around the house to find anything that could give him somewhat of an idea
#! he was digging around in the bedroom when you came home, his head so frenzied he didn’t hear the front door open
#! but you heard the ruckus from the bedroom and immediately went into fight or flight
#! panicking, you took out your phone to call suna while quietly opening the front door to make your way back out before the intruder catches you
#! the phone rang and rang until it was picked up. “suna?” you whisper-yelled into the speaker. you had a habit of calling him by his last name when you were freaking out. he noticed and was equally alarmed
#! “what’s wrong?” he whispered back just as panicked
#! “there’s someone in our apartment. can you come home?”
#! “huh? oh, are you home?” he cackles into the phone speaker making you move the phone away from your ear, “it’s me, sweets, c’mere.”
#! you warily walked on your tiptoes over to your bedroom, peeking your head in and what a surprise, it is suna
#! “jackass! why are you home?!”
#! “why didn’t you tell me?” he cut straight to the point
#! “huh?”
#! “you’re pregnant. when were you gonna tell me?” his voice sounding stern, but the quiet smile dancing on his face tells a different story
#! “i tried.”
#! “huh? what do you mean?”
#! “all those times i asked if we could talk. i was trying to tell you.”
#! his heart dropped, eyebrows furrowing, while he stared you down
#! suna became unresponsive once again, standing there trying to think back to the first time you asked him
#! two weeks ago
#! “i’m sorry,” he quietly whispers
#! “hm? i..it’s fine....i was a bit sad, but i’m over it. at least you know now,” you casually shrugged it off like it wasn’t a big deal
#! “no. i shouldn’t have pushed you aside like that. even if you weren’t pregnant, even if you had just wanted to tell me about some stupid video you saw that day, i shouldn’t have told you off. i’m sorry, i love you a lot and you deserve so much better.”
#! “tarō, shut up. i accept your apology and i forgive you, now make it up to me by giving me a back massage while i show you the ultrasound pictures!”
#! he kisses you before lifting you up bridal style making his way to the bed
SAKUSA
#! contrary to popular beliefs, sakusa is not an obsessive germaphobe who finds everything disgusting but you
#! he wouldn’t be playing volleyball if he was that afraid of germs,,,,,
#! yes, he cringes if random little kids grab onto him after games because 1) he’s drenched in sweat and that feeling is not fun
#! 2) he doesn’t even know themmm
#! and 3) he wanna go home
#! but sakusa loves you and if you happened to get pregnant, he would love your kid(s) just the same
#! however, he never told you this. he never really had a reason to voice this out loud
#! so when you actually did get pregnant, you were confused
#! the only interactions between sakusa and kids you’ve seen multiple times were the moments between him and his fans
#! you guys have been to family parties and his nieces, nephews, and cousins looooves him
#! maybe it’s the fact that he’s a tall looming giant and they just want to climb
#! but besides those moments, you don’t recall him ever telling you upfront that he wants children of his own
#! and the constant stress and pressure he always seem to be working around also doesn’t help reassure you in any way
#! being an athlete for a living means always watching your body, health, and looks for the cameras (but omi could care less about the last thing)
#! he also has to make sure whether or not he’s working well with his teammates, practice and improve on anything he’s having problems with, and deal with atsumu’s dramatic ass
#! you’re an overthinker and because of that, all of these reasons were just reasons for you to postpone the pregnancy news to your long term boyfriend
#! it wasn’t too hard anyway, considering practice runs late sometimes and he’s busy majority of the time doing other stuff
#! when you guys do have alone time together, you both are so focused on one another that you actually forget that you’re pregnant and you never told him
#! you’re about to hit the three months mark now — time goes by fast — and sakusa has noticed you and your body changing
#! at first he just thought you were going through a phase of cravings and a bit of bloating, so he didn’t mention it and just let you be
#! he never got to witness you getting morning sickness because he goes on early runs or he was just out doing morning errands so he wouldn’t have to deal with it later that day
#! so when he caught you in the kitchen cutting up a lemon, the last thing he was expecting you to do was bring the lemon directly up to your mouth
#! “uh, what are you doing?” his deep voice caught you off guard, effectively stopping the hand that was holding the lemon
#! you just stare at him, not wide-eyed, not surprised, just stare
#! “eating a lemon.”
#! “i can see that.... why exactly?”
#! “dunno, the baby i guess.” you casually shrugged it off before popping the lemon slice into your mouth
#! “ah-,” he opened his mouth to stop you from eating the lemon, your words not fully processing in his mind, but cut off midway and froze when he finally realized
#! hearing him pause like that made you suddenly remembered that you never told him you were pregnant
#! you slowly turned back to look at him, mouth still slowly chewing the lemon slices
#! a moment of silence later, he unfreezes and just starts stiffly walking towards you
#! he grabbed you by the shoulders, made you look him in the eyes, before whispering, “you’re pregnant?!”
#! “y-yes..”
#! his eyes were wide, black pupils expanding as he stared you down, his lips slowly curving into a small smile
#! “you’re pregnant....,” he whispers, mainly to himself, hugging your head into his chest
#! “mhm, get off me i’m trying to eat,” you gently pushed him off but he wouldn’t budge
#! “omiiii please, if you get off i’ll give you a slice,” you tried bribing him. he couldn’t tell if you were being serious or just teasing
#! “no.”
#! “um ok, two slices?”
#! “no.”
#! “omi!”
#! he giggles before opening his arms to let you go
#! “why didn’t you tell me?”
#! you didn’t reply right away, making him start to overthink
#! did you not want the baby? or did you not want a kid with him? did you not want to be with him anymore? or was it not his?!
#! he childishly shakes his head side to side at the last question. he knew you wouldn’t do that
#! but you were still silent, making him nervously glance at you from the side
#! “sorry, piece of lemon stuck in my teeth. i just forgot to tell you,” the words easily flowing out of your mouth nonchalantly
#! sakusa’s fingers were literally about to start twitching from anxiousness beside you
#! a sigh of relief was heard from him and you turned to look at him
#! “you okay?”
#! he doesn’t answer, just gives you a smile and goes back to hugging you from behind
SEMI
#! you were currently sitting on the couch in your shared apartment waiting for semi to come home
#! he’s been on tour for a few months now, you both kept in touch by facetiming, texting, calling, and any other methods of virtual communication
#! you would tune into the live recording of all of his performances when you had time so you could watch him
#! a few weeks into tour, you suddenly felt different than usual but shook it off as nothing and probably just you missing your boyfriend
#! you believed that until one morning you were woken up by the sudden urge to throw up, dashing to the restroom as fast as your drowsy body can go
#! it was then that you realized you might be pregnant
#! the night before semi left, you both had sex to enjoy your last few hours together before he had to leave for a few months
#! with the new realization, you quickly dressed yourself to make a short trip to the store to pick up some tests
#! after half an hour of looking at yourself in the mirror, trying to wrap your head around this, you finally opened the first box
#! a few minutes later, all 5 tests were lined up on the bathroom counter showing positive
#! you stared at the tests, trying to make sure you weren’t reading it wrong
#! once you began to understand the responsibility of being pregnant a few hours later, you made a mental note to go out and buy some food for yourself the next day
#! you decided to sleep off the rest of that day
#! through all of the facetime calls with semi, you never once told him you were pregnant
#! you knew that if you told him he would freak out and either demand to go back home, or stay but all of his attention would be on you being pregnant alone at home for the rest of the tour
#! so here you are now, sitting with a 4 1/2 months baby bump waiting for your beloved to come home
#! it was around 6pm when the front door opened, sounds of shuffling bags and heavy steps could be heard from the musician
#! he cursed under his breath when he almost tripped over a duffle bag with some of his loungewear, calling out for you as he walks further into the apartment, “baby? i’m home!”
#! he was about to speak up again when he saw you asleep on the couch
#! bouncing his way over, he got onto his knees at the edge of the couch to observe your face. god i miss you, he thought to himself
#! he gently shakes you awake, you jolted in surprise not knowing you fell asleep in the first place
#! “hmm- what?,” soft murmurs falling from your lips as you adjusted your eyes at your surrounding
#! “eita!” he grinned at you, both of you pulling each other into a hug
#! “fuck, i miss you so much.” he whispered into your ears before placing his face into your neck
#! “i miss you more.” you tightened your grip around him making him move up on the couch to get more comfortable
#! you both moved around until he had you cradled in between him, your back against his chest
#! his hands going under your his shirt to caress you there when his movements stopped right on top of your stomach
#! it was silent as his warm hands rubbed your stomach in circles, the gears turning in his head
#! “are you- you feel- why’s your tum so round and hard?” he quizzically asked, still rubbing your stomach
#! “pregnant.” your voice a low whisper, he almost didn’t catch it
#! “what?”
#! “pregnant.” you repeated, a bit louder this time
#! “huh?”
#! “pregnant!” you sighed, moving his hand so you can get off of him
#! he grabs your wrist to stop you from walking away and turns you to look at him
#! “you’re pregnant?!”
#! “i just said that. yes.”
#! you knew you sounded blunt and a bit mean, it wasn’t his fault he doesn’t know at all, but your hormones have been making you crankier and it’s out of your control
#! “sorry. yes, i’m pregnant.”
#! his eyes continuously darts up and down from your eyes to your bump
#! “how long?”
#! “since you left.”
#! “was it the night before?” he was referring to your act of intimacy the night before he left
#! “yea.”
#! “wow. why didn’t you tell me?”
#! “because.”
#! “‘cuz what?”
#! “because i know you. you would either stop touring and come home, or stay but lose focus. i was just trying to not distract you because i know how important your career is to you. and because i thought that you’ll be having a six months break after this tour before your next comeback, i would tell you when you came home. i’m sorry if you’re ma-,”
#! “i’m not mad. oh don’t cry, babe, look at me.”he carefully cups your face, “it’s okay, it’s okay. i get why you kept it from me. and now that i have no schedule for the next six months, i can be there for you until the end of your pregnancy and the beginning of our baby’s life alright?”
#! you weakly nodded against his palms, and he brings you back down to lay your head on his chest as you both softly talk about the past months without each other
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ventiskies · 3 years
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When he rejects you | Chongyun, Scaramouche, Albedo
a/n: hello friends!! i apologize for my somewhat disappearance TwT im currently having exam season but i couldnt help but write something for my favorite three (and yes, scara is there... and honestly, I don't know when I started simping for him either but you can now call me a future scaramouche haver >:)) so not a request, but do enjoy !! <3 (apologies if there are any errors!!)
pairing: chongyun x gn! reader, scaramouche x gn! reader, albedo x gn! reader (platonic)
Chongyun
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★ Chongyun, Xingqiu and you had been best friends since you were kids. And although you were a trio, you and Chongyun had always known each other much longer.
★ If your life were a book, it would be a sweet childhood best friends growing up together genre, something that often piqued Xingqiu’s interests when he drags the two of you to Wanwen bookhouse
★ The books you had borrowed from Xingqiu about them all ended with the same thing; that they end up becoming a couple and growing up together. Reminiscing about their childhood youth when they were old.
★ You knew not to trust the books or use them as a guide, but just like the books, you had grown to fall in love with the icy-haired boy.
★ Chongyun was like a breath of fresh air. His determination in exorcising ‘evil spirits' to the point that he blindly falls for Xingqiu and your pranks were the things that you loved about him. He was filled with enthusiasm and positivity (literally).
★ You grew into enjoying his positive attitude, you couldn't imagine a day going by without Chongyun telling you and Xingqiu about a so called 'haunted' place he had found, and forcing the two of you to come with him. and even if it had ended without meeting a single spirit, he would still be in high spirits.
★ you loved it, seeing the rush of thrill he feels whenever he senses a spirit nearby, hoping the spirit was able to withstand his excessive yang energy. the repeating days without one successful exorcism, only to end up getting treated to a meal by Xingqiu, and the parting that always ends with a promise to see each other the day after. Chongyun speaks his emotions, and you were in love with that.
★ and him, just in general.
★ And one day, you had decided to tell him just that
★ You were both on the hunt for Jueyun chilies for Xiangling, a small commission that you had decided to take on while waiting for Xingqiu to finish his work at the guild. The sun had set, and you had returned from Qingce village with a bucket full of the chilies and had decided to rest on top of the mountain where you had both Waypointed to just to admire the sunset.
★ In the heat of the moment, you had spoken.
“I like you, Chongyun,” you had said, looking at him with a smile.
★ You would have accepted a silence. You had expected it to be like the books; he would gently laugh and look at you, admitting that he had been waiting for you to say the exact words, lean in to kiss you. It would be awkward at first, but it’ll also be something to look back to in the future when kissing becomes something you do every day. You’d return back to Liyue Harbor hand in hand, and be able to tell Xingqiu and Xiangling that he was your boyfriend now, and admit to the former that maybe his books were right.
★ But instead, you were met with Chongyun’s wide eyes staring at you. His cheeks flushed red with what you had tried hard to hope was shyness, but had appealed more like panic. He had stood up and cleared his throat
“We- we should get back,” he says, too quickly for someone as calm as he is. And you knew it was a wrong step, “I’m-,” he clears his throat, “I’m going to go ahead first. I'm sorry,”
★ You didn’t know if he was apologizing for leaving early, or for not being able to accept your feelings, but when you hadn't seen him the following day, you could only assume.
Scaramouche
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★ Honestly, you had it coming for you.
★ Scaramouche is someone whose life is their job. There was nothing that could distract him from working for the Tsaritsa
★ You had (been self-entitled) as his best friend. And honestly, if Scaramouche knew of it, he doesn't blame you. Everyone in the Fatui and who worked under the Fatui knew how close you were. Which was odd because, for one, you were absolutely nothing like him. Although you weren't exactly liked by everyone, you weren't loathed by everyone like the sixth harbinger was.
★ Scaramouche was feared by anyone who hears his name or walks a foot away from him, while you carried a calmer aura. Without glancing, Scaramouche could bring his subordinates trembling, while they would greet you when you pass by them.
★ You were polar opposites, and yet, everyone has seen the two of you together so much that when he wasn't with you or the other way around, people would assume you were on a solo mission or just leaving the other’s quarters
★ Of course, being his best friend, you weren’t spared of his usual harsh words. As a matter of fact, you probably had it much worse than anyone else. It had almost seemed as if every time he spoke, he spoke like he was trying to get rid of you.
★ But if that really were the case, then he hasn’t been trying his best. You had stayed with him since you had become an ally to the Fatui, and ever since then had stayed by his side. When others shake in fear, you shake your head with a laugh and a retort.
★ It had even come as a surprise to you when you had realized you had fallen for the harbinger. You would think that spending time with such a foul-mouthed person who would murder someone in the blink of an eye with no hesitation would make you dislike him. But that didn’t happen.
★ In fact, it was quite the opposite. You had fallen in love with him.
★ It wasn’t obvious to anyone, and even you had to take the time to squint to look for it. But Scaramouche did care for you in his own way. Whether it be toning down the harsh words when he sees your mood dampen after a mission, or beating the shit out of a person who had attacked you ruthlessly, not stopping even after his hands were covered in crimson liquid and the person almost certainly died. Even if he calls you a hindrance afterward for dirtying his hands, he definitely thought of you the same as you thought of him.
★ A friend.
★ Or, you had hoped, something more.
★ It was a mistake to take his slight kindness as a sign of him liking you, it truly was.
★ During your journey to Inazuma for a mission, you had decided to confess to him out of the blue. You knew he was someone who could predict the outcome of something even before you said anything, so a slow confession when the sun was setting in a field of flowers would just be a waste of time. if there was something you learned, it's to cut to the chase with him.
“Hey Scara,” you had said quietly. He had replied with a low hum, not turning back to look at you, “I like you.”
★ Without a second thought, Scaramouche had taken you by surprise as well.
★ He had not stopped in his tracks, instead, his shoulders shook in laugher. His laugh wasn't the same laugh you hear whenever you make a stupid mishap or get slightly injured during a simple mission- no, those laughs were warmer. Although laced with unkindness, they were more familiar.
★ This one was condescending. As if you were a new recruit again, having to work under him. As if all those years as friends had just gone down the drain.
“Stupid. What a fool of me to assume you were different.” he says, voice clear as a bell in the night, “don’t be an inconvenience. I don't have time for people like you.”
Albedo
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★ Ever since working under Albedo with Sucrose, your life had been nothing but full of wonder. Although some were dangerous, Albedo and you bonded easily as if you had worked together in a past life.
★ Albedo was a genius. He was someone you looked up to, and sometime during your investigations, he had become a friend. You didn't know when it started. When it had gone from two alchemists staying the night in Dragonspine to observe the different stages of new plant growth, to- with the permission of the acting grandmaster - just two people, two friends, going out to explore the seven nations.
★ Sucrose and Timaeus had stayed back in Mondstadt to finish experiments that you both had decided to put on hold for your trip, and with nothing to worry about, the two of you had gone out with nothing but the protection of each other (and your visions, of course), and a few packed meals from Good Hunter.
★ Albedo had a side that no one saw unless they spent nights camping with him in the middle of nowhere. You were one of the lucky people who were able to see that side of his during your trips around the seven.
★ The alchemist wasn't just curious about the way the world works, he had also been curious with, well, you.
★ Some nights when he couldn't go to sleep (which was often. You’d be surprised to see how messed up his sleep schedule was), he would sit in front of the fire you had both worked hard to make, and simply talk.
★ sometimes, it would be short conversations. but more than often, you find yourself talking about everything and nothing until the sun rose above the mountains, and you would have to continue your journey until one of you (usually being you,) were too tired to continue.
★ Albedo talks with passion, no matter what the topic is. He could be talking about what you were going to be having for dinner for the next night before you reach the first region in your trip, and he would already have you captivated.
★ Albedo also talks with gentleness. And this was the said side not a lot of people would be able to see from the chief alchemist. Whenever the tent was filled with comforting silence, you would be able to hear Albedo asking you questions about yourself. They weren’t your standard, what was your dream growing up? Kind of questions, but they were more specific. More… personal.
★ Is it not funny, how life works? What if a single moment had changed in the past, I and you wouldn't have met. He would question, eyes trained to the flames burning in front of him. It sounded rhetorical, but his tone was laced with wonder. He sounds as if he was expecting an answer, but he doesn't urge you for one. And every time he does, you merely hum.
★ Albedo was gentle in everything he did. Almost all the time you were with him, he had never acted brashly. He was patient, kind.
★ and that was most likely what had prompted your crush on the alchemist
★ crushing on Albedo was like looking up at the stars. he was someone who shined brightly, but you knew he was too far to reach, yet despite that, you had still attempted to.
★ you had decided to finally let it all out on him the night of your final stay before you reached your final region, which was Inazuma.
★ and that, you had realized a little too late, had been the icing on top of a really terrible cake.
"Albedo," you had stared, and the alchemist immediately turned towards you. that was something you had grown fond of. you knew Albedo was a man married to his work, so when he turns to you in the midst of it, you felt your stomach churn in delight, "I have to tell you something,"
“Hm?” he hums, setting his notepad down to give you his full attention, “what is it, y/n?”
★ You took a deep breath, and the moment you had opened your mouth to tell him, you had a sinking feeling you had made a huge mistake.
“I like you, a lot,” you muttered, “not just platonically, Albedo. I… I think you're really interesting. and if you'd like, I would love to be with you. ”
★ Albedo’s face had fallen, and although it had been the slightest, you had still noticed it. He looked at you as if the cogs were turning in his brain, and finally, he looks down
“I must apologize,” he starts, and you feel your stomach drop, “but I’m not interested in you that way, y/n. If it makes you feel better, I see you as a very dear friend,”
★ You nod, apologizing to Albedo before he offers a small smile before continuing his research
★ You both did not speak of it, but there was a very thick air of silence hangs over the two of you afterward, that didn't dissipate even after you both left the camp.
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blkgirl-writing · 4 years
Text
"Jealousy Isnt Always Bad" Zuko x Jealous!reader
Request(s): sub!zuko smut please! + jealousy with Zuko?
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Zuko is fucking hot, and everyone knows it
So you've learned to be a bit more protective over the man you love
Whenever you go out together, you hold hands, or guiding his hand to your hip
(Hes a big fan of putting his hand in your back pocket)
Zuko isn't super comfortable with kissing in public, or anything obscene, so you keep it light and fluffy
But today was just too much
Three girls had approached him while you two were out for lunch. All acting like you were invisible, or, acting like sharing a bowl of soup and clearly holding hands was something platonic friends did everyday,
By the time the fourth girl came up, you were fuming
"What the fuck."
Oh, you made to say it nice and loud, annoyance clear as day
Zuko definitely got a bit embarrassed by your brassness
"I'm sorry, but you're bothering my boyfriend and I. Kindly leave us to our date-"
You always had a tendency to be polite to people you wanted to slice
But being an outsider and an interracial couple in the fire nation was already a hardship, it came with many, many downsides and bumps. You made sure to never give into any stupid stereotype they might have placed on you because of your color or bending.
The girl left very quickly.
Zuko wasnt stunned, but he certainly looked a bit frazzled
"What was that for, baby?" While he was a bit clueless sometimes, he certainly knew.
You definitely got more handsy throughout the day
Hands slowly making their way up his thigh as you sat, listening to a concert
Small neck pecks and bites
Longer glances whenever he talked
You wanted him, bad. Real, real bad.
In fact, it couldnt wait. Someone else was looking at him, with an insufferable amount of lust.
You basically dragged him into the concerts bathroom
Thankfully it was a large, private one
"What are you doing, baby?" His voice was so fucking soft
"I want you to fuck me right here, bent over the sink. Can we do that?"
His eyes widened a bit, but, definitely with lust
He kissed you, hard, grabbing onto your hips, whispering a quite little "yes," under his breath
But you needed to hear that he really wanted it. That he really wanted you.
"Say that again for me, pretty boy," "say you want me-"
Zuko could have cum right there, not even gonna lie.
"I want you more than anything else," "where-where did this come from,"
You restrained yourself from rolling your eyes, instead, moving your lips down to his neck, pushing his shirt to the side,
"I dont like the way others look at you. Like they can have you." You hummed against his skin, "I'm yours, you're mine."
His fingers dug into your hips for life as you ground into his erection
"You're such a beautiful person, everyone wants you." Before he could give you some bullshit excuse to why he wasn't, you tugged his pants down, just enough to have his member speaking out, flushed and fully erect
You pulled away, staring into his eyes as you slid down your own undergarments, watching as he looked at you with the most intense stare, eyes glimmering with lust. He loved when you talked dirty, told him how good he was. How you controlled him without even really trying.
"You still want this, baby?" You asked, feather light fingers caressing his cock
"I always want you."
It all happened really fast,
You bent over the small counter,arm stretched back to guide him inside you
Already fucking wet for him, all the pent up sexual frustration over the hours of the day
Zuko leaned in , pressing kissed into your clothes shoulder as he thrust lazily into you, yourself doing most of the work as you moved and ground against him,
His hand reached down to rub your clit, not bothering to go soft. The rushed circles sending you into pure bliss
"Look at us, baby, look into the mirror," you moaned, drawing your eyes into the reflection. His skin glowing against yours, hair messy.
"Look at how fucking perfect we are together, how well you fit inside m'" you couldnt even finish your sentence as Zuko looked up, seeing your face, how your eyes were watering from the pleasure, he couldn't keep his orgasm at bay for much longer
He trust hard and deep, grabbing your waist with his open hand and pulling you against him. While he might have been less deep inside you, he perfectly hit that spot,
You came within seconds, with him in suit-
You stood there, mouth open, for a few moments, staring at the filthy image in from of you-
"Hey, is anyone uh-oh, fuck, I'm so so sorry,"
Both zuko and your eyes darted to the open door, the person from earlier, so had been mentally fucking your boyfriend. They had left as quickly as they burst in.
You couldnt help but laugh, Zukos face was fully red, lip caught between his teeth
"Guess I forgot to lock the door~"
-
A/n: so uh....this got out of hand? Thanks for the lovely anons who requested this! It might not have been exactly what you thought, but that's kinda my thing, Haha.
Requests are open!
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heyitsyn · 4 years
Text
There Once Was A Man With No Arms-
Goshiki x Manager!Tendou!FirstYear!Sister!Reader
a/n: that was a mouthful
anon request: ahhh i loved your headcanons of iwaizumi dating oikawa's sister!!! this time, can i request goshiki x tendou's first year sis na manager din ng team nila? salamatttt hehe ingat ka lagiii💞
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this cute little bowl cut babie
so you are the little baby sister of our favorite red hair cutie and he was the one who offered you the manager position
ofc you accepted bc hello, you get to hang out w your brother and tease semi-semi-senpai everyday
pls let semi live
everyone likes you though bc you are their manager and you do a lot of things for them even though you dont need to
like sometimes, you stop by the store and pick up all kinds of snacks and if its really hot, popsicles and ice cream
ushijima farmer-san is known to be quite stoic and serious but he’s pretty chill around you and even ruffles your hair whenever you make a stupid joke
as a tendou, you are basically like a ctrl+v  with your brother 
the same cute teasing and bubbly personality but the quick change to serious and demeaning
the team gets stressed, especially mom, bc he has to take care of not one red-head freak but two
but he liked you more though bc you were a first year and you were this short little pumpkin and you were so nice and just all around A D O R A B L E
but you just didnt rub goshiki the right way
maybe bc he thought you were just doing this as an act and no person could really be this bubbly and cheerful
or hes just jealous his senpais attention is directed to you
he will DIE FOR HIS SENPAIS
whenever he gets a good spike, you cheer him on and say things like, ‘nice spike, tsu-chan!’ and he swears youre just doing this bc you want to kill him with a heart attack and he doesnt like feeling like this but you like torturing him
boi what is with this logic
even though he lives for praises, your praises and compliments just hits different than his senpais
before he even realized it, he started all out glaring at you and tendou, being the overprotective brother he was, pointed him out on it
‘oi, little kouhai, you got a problem with our y/n?’
at the mention of your name you turned around from talking to the coach and everyone turned to goshiki, expecting him to answer
unfortunately you didnt hear what your brother said so you were just confused
‘hm? i read the room and i am not comfortable with the energy in the gym today’
someone snorted while goshiki turned red at the attention being on him with the topic of you so he just walks away back to the court
‘oh? what was that all about?’ 
semi shushes tendou and gives you a smile
‘y/n, can you help tossing the ball for us?’
you nodded and quickly ran to the chair and waddled over to put it by the net before standing on it
everyone turned red, including goshiki and even shirabu, and busted their uwus
‘okay! let’s go!’
youve always noticed tsutomu and his determination to beat ushijima which youve appreciated bc he was so hard-working and he was talented enough
‘good one, tsu-chan!’
‘t-thanks, y/n-san’
even when no one noticed it, you were always there to give him compliments and he always grows flustered and hes just a big idiot babie and doesnt realize that your praises makes his heart beat faster bc he thinks youre freaking pretty and someone pretty complimenting him in his spikes boosts his ego
but eventually, it grew on him
instead of looking around for any senpai to praise him, he now turned to you and you would give him that adorable smile and he would bite his lip to stop himself from running over and hugging the life out of you
then he remembers who your brother is, well more like how protective the boys were
‘waka-senpai, nii-chan got sick so he wants you to stop by his dorm later today!’
‘okay’
since you were their teammate’s sister, theyve known you for a while and watched you grow from being this little middle school girl to a first year high schooler 
you were practically their sister
goshiki went to a different middle school so he never really realized how the guys treated you so differently but he knew it would be difficult to win them over for your hand
oops wait what
this thought struck him just as he was drinking water and he ended up choking on water causing you to run over from talking to semi so you could pat his back
‘omg, tsu-chan, you need to be careful!’
this was only the beginning of weeks of being weird
like he was so distracted and different that shirabu actually yelled at him and refused to give him any tosses
‘you talk big about being the ace but the slightest distraction could cost you a match. are you really being serious about being the ace or is it all just talk?’
he got all sad and mopey and he had to sit on the bench 
goshiki never got benched
he was too good to be benched!
but he was and he did not like it
you went over to him and sat next to him
‘tsu-chan, can you follow me?’
he looked up from the floor and he shrugged before following you out of the door
the others watched their first years exit the gym and they contemplated following
but tendou, surprise!, actually stopped them
‘my sister can sort him out herself. trust me’
goshiki didnt exactly know where you were taking him to until you stopped by by the baseball field where there was mud
‘y/n-san, why-’
‘you always say my name formally, why is that? im a first year too, tsu-chan’
he looked down
‘um, i-i don’t know-’
‘y/n-chan, tsu-chan. try it out’
‘y-y/n-chan’
you squealed at how cute he looked w red ears and a red face but you refrained from hugging him
then you remembered why you brought him out
‘oh right! come here, tsu-chan!’
you took a branch from a nearby tree and encouraged him to crouch down with you as you began to draw on the mud
‘there was once a man with no arms-’
you started happily singing and this was when goshiki really realized the resemblance between you and your brother
you both were happy and cheerful bc you wanted to radiate the energy to the others to be happy too
and it worked
tendou’s funny songs and jokes always made the others laugh and you did too
goshiki was happy that he was able to absorb that energy and he soon completely forgot about shirabu’s comments
once you were done, you have drawn a dog on the mud and the boy was so amazed at the sudden creation
he looked up at you with wide eyes and you laughed with a wide grin at his expression
‘hehe, its cool, right? nii-chan showed me something like that before when i got sad and it made me happy again. i thought it would work on you too’
he might have questionable feelings around you bc when you mentioned being sad, he felt weird
like he was relieved he wasnt there to see you sad bc he couldnt take it seeing your usual grin into a frown and your bright shining eyes filled with tears
‘y/n-chan, when you get sad, call me, okay? so i can go to you and make you smile like you did with me’
your eyes widened in surprise but you nodded, your grin even wider
‘im counting on you, tsu-chan!’
and he did
when he received a call late at night from you, he easily snuck out from his dorm and ran to the baseball field where he saw your crouching figure aimlessly dragging the stick in circles
‘y/n-chan!’
he huffed and panted after running so fast and you looked up before running to hug him
‘im here now. youre okay’
you didnt release out your problems on him bc you didnt want to burden him
but he understood and just hugged you until you felt better enough to return to your crouching
goshiki hurriedly grabbed the stick and began to do the same thing you did for him before
‘then he jumped onto the lake and got stung by bees?’
he stopped and frowned, realizing he wasnt right
but the frown lifted when he heard your giggle
‘tsu-chan, he got stung by bees first and then he jumped on the lake!’
the corners of his mouth lifted and he chuckled
‘heh, i guess he did. but this is my version so listen closely, okay y/n-chan?’
this might be the reason you got close w the first year
the others noticed it too since you seem to pamper him and take more time taking care of him than them
like you even started wiping his sweat for him while he just giggles when you pull on the long strands of his hair
‘tsu-chan, i want to cut it!’
‘no, y/n-chan!’
‘but-!’
he grabbed your hands and your arms around his torso so he could do the same to you and gently tugged on the ends of your long hair
‘you too then, y/n-chan. your hair is long too’
you pouted then gently punched his chest
‘mean, tsu-chan’
‘heh?! mean?! how?!’
tendou is like the best big brother ever and hes just like ‘yuhhhh get it tsutomu!!!!’
eventually, goshiki began playing even better
his complete spike percentage has increased and his jumping has gotten higher
but the team predicts that this was all because he’s trying to show off to you and your praising and compliments have motivated him to play better
forget being ace, he just wants you to praise him
‘y/n-chan! y/n-chan! did you see that?’
‘wahh!!!! so cool, tsu-chan!!”
bus trips to matches are so cute but yall lowkey annoy the players a bit
yall sit next to each other and are just leaning together as you giggle over stupid cat videos
like we get, goshiki is getting some quicker than us
i feel like before moving on to relationships, goshiki and you would be best friends first and then move on to the dating stuff
tbh, theres no difference bc yall have always been like that but theres just an offical label now
‘hey, tsu-chan, wanna date?’
‘u-um,, sure?’
yall would hang out in either his dorm or yours and yall would be alone bc the team actually trusts you but you dont know that they pass by the door ever 5 minutes and listen in to just to make sure yall are not doing anything bad
smh they so nosy but we luv them
you know of his insecurities about not being enough and his fears of not being the ace and his dreams of playing to the big leagues and his passion to continue playing on the court for as long as he can and how excited he is to be able to spend all those years with you
he knows of your insecurities about the way you look and being associated with your apparent freak of a brother but you didnt care about that and even fought someone when they said something and your deep protectiveness for the boys, especially your brother but it’s all because the boys were the ones to accept you with open arms and treat you like family
yall shared a lot of secrets amongst yourselves and tbh, your communication is just *chefs kiss*
so serious fights dont happen, like ever, just stupid little arguments that are usually resolved like an hour later
since youre also a manager, its also your job to make sure the boys are maintaining their good grades and you know that shira-senpai has given up on tutoring tsutomu
i mean,,, goshiki is smart but he gets distracted easily and ends up spacing out during lessons
yknow?
thats when the little arguments bc youd be trying to teach him the damn phythagorean theorem and hed be distracted at how come your hair was styled like that today
‘goshiki tsutomu, i will leave your ass to fail right now if you dont stop touching my hair’
‘but babyyyyyy’
‘no, ‘dont baby’ me, you idiot! you’ll be crying like a baby when you fail and you’re bench during the next game!’
oof also!
hes a protective little babie and he gets jealous easily so whenever yall have games, he literally hangs all over you 
like he makes a show of putting his jacket over you and kissing your forehead so that the other teams know to stop looking over at your direction and whispering about you
ofc this gets on your nerves but you cant help but think how cute he looks when he gets jealous
he gets all pouty and touchy and youre just like, take my uwus you big babie
even tendou is like, ‘im her brother yet hes more protective than me’
he demands to be hugged 24/7 but thats not appropriate if youre in public so he ltr drags you outside and away from people just so he could hug you
he likes hugging you bc youre shorter than him and it makes him feel all special and soft since you like to burrow your face into his chest and your sweater paws are just like ugggggghhhhhhhhh
whenever he gets nervous, you kiss his fingers and his knuckles bc it soothes him and youre just his good luck charm and he feels like he can take over the world w a single kiss from you
‘baby, didja see that?! i was so cool, right?!’
‘so proud of you, tsu-chan! youre so cool!’
‘i love y/n like a sister but if she inflates his ego more, i will have to tape her mouth’
can you guess who said that?
overall a relationship i strive for and i really want a goshiki now thanks byeeeeeee
a/n: ngl goshiki’s hair lowkey triggered me when i first saw him bc why the heck does it look like that?! but now i actually like it on him and i cant imagine any other hairstyle fitting him
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words-for-holland · 4 years
Text
Quarantine Series: Silence is Golden?
Pairing: Tom Holland X Reader
Summary: Tom and Y/N don’t get into a lot of fights, but this one will leave you speechless...literally.
Check the Rest: Burnt Out | A New Look | Secret Cuts & Kisses | Breaking Friendships |The Birthday Week | Movie Night
A/N: Hey! Did you know I created a Masterlist?! You can view here (X)!
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Every couple has their good and bad days. Some people will even say it’s healthy to have a little dispute once and awhile. For Y/N and Tom, the bad days just kept on coming. Maybe it was due to the work piling up on Y/N’s plate lately, or the fact that Tom was stressing about going to Berlin in 2 weeks for his work. Either way, both of them were under pressure, and with everything going on, it’d be no surprise that even the smallest things would irritate them.
“Tom I told you to put your luggage off to the side. One of us is going to trip with all this shit in our room.” Y/N scolded as she pushed the black luggage to the side of wall.
Tom was sitting in bed, rolling his eyes at his fiance’s comment and went back to focusing on his script. “Well, maybe it wouldn’t be a big deal if you just cleaned the room every weekend like you were supposed to do.” He grumbled as he highlighted his lines.
“I was working the entire weekend. I told you I had a huge release to prep for and last time I rememebered I’m your fiance not your maid. It wouldn’t kill if you could just do some of the chores in the house instead of having me, Harry, Harrison, or Tuwaine do it for you.” She argued, glaring down at Tom with her arms crossed. “Just cause your some hot shot celebrity doesn’t mean you can just sit there and do jack shit.”
Tom looked at her with surprise and anger. He just about had it up to here with her nagging. Tom loves Y/N, but sometimes, like tonight, she was really getting on his nerves, and the next few things he says to her were not so pretty. “Can you just shut up?! You’re always telling me what to do, what not to do, to stop doing this and stop doing that, and god the never-ending chatter that comes out of your mouth.” He spits out not even paying attention to how Y/N was reacting. “Some people actually do prefer some peace and quiet. God, I really can’t wait to go to Berlin just so I don’t have to hear that god awful nagging of yours.” Tom shakes his head as he looks back at his script, until he realized what just came out of his mouth...complete and utter bullshit that he didn’t mean.
It was Y/N’s turn to be surprised. In fact she was speechless, not really knowing what to say to his rant. It hurt a lot, as if her heart had just broken in a million pieces. If there was one thing you needed to know about Y/N, it was that she valued everyone’s view and opinion of her. So, you can best believe that if someone had a problem with her, she would not take it lightly. When it comes from the person you love the most...well...one can’t even begin to fathom how much it could hurt.
Tears were forming and streaming down her eyes, as small sniffles start to escape. Her tiny hands balling up into a fist. She wasn’t just upset, she was furious. “Well, if thats how you feel then, I don’t know why you’d want to be with a person that doesn’t shut up...Cause clearly I’m not good enough.”
Tom starts to sit up on the bed and lean towards her, trying to apologize profusely, but it was a lost cause that couldn’t be taken back. She runs out of the room with her stuff as she moves to the guest room to cry herself to sleep. Tom stays in their bedroom as he looks up at the ceiling with a disappointed face. “What have I done?” He whispers to himself, only praying they would be able to make up in the morning.
The next day, Tom wakes up extra early to prepare a ‘Sorry I’m such a div. Please forgive me’ breakfast with chocholate chip pancakes, bluerberry smoothies, and apple turnovers from her favorite coffeshop in London. And if that wasn’t enough...he had also brought her a bouquet of red roses. He awaited for her to come down, with everything set. As the boys came by to eat their share of the breakfast, Y/N comes down to akward silence. Everyone staring at her and Tom standing in the middle smiling with flowers in hand.
“Morning Y/N.” The boys say in unison.
“Morning boys...Tom.” Y/N mumbes the last word as she makes her way. They continue to talk and eat amongst themselves as Y/N looks for a seat to sit at, but sadly the only one available is the one next to Tom. He looks at her with his brown puppy dog eyes, silently pleading for her to sit next to him. Y/N gets the message as she rolls her eyes, and tales the seat. He present her the flowers once again, smiling off his boyish charm. “Darling, Im so sorry for the way I acted I didn’t mean it. Please don’t be mad at me. I love you so much.”
Y/N takes the flowers and nods, as she goes back to her breakfast. She ate rather quickly as to make sure she didnt have to deal with anyone and went straight back to the guest room. Tom slouches in his seat, sighing in defeat. “Great the silent treatment.” He says out loud.
“Damn, Tom you must have really fucked up.” Tuwaine said as he took a bite of his pancakes.
“Yeah mate, what did you do?” Harrison asked, intrigued by his best friend’s dilemma.
“You couldn’t hear them? They fought because Tom couldnt do a simple job and then called Y/N a talkative nagging piece of work” Harry answered him, stifiling a laugh. “Im sure the whole world could have heard him.”
“You also forgot, how he said he’d rather be in Berlin than be here with her.” Tuwain mentioned.
Tom glares at his younger brother and Tuwaine, giving them a good shove on the shoulder. “Hey, don’t be mad at me. I’m not the one that had to get his shit together.” Harry defends taking his last bite.
“What do I do? She wont even talk to me and I went through all this work to apologize to her.” Tom asks as he stares at the floor solemnly. “I don’t want her to be mad at me.”
“I don’t know mate. Maybe just earn her trust again. Im sure youll both work it out...you always do.” Harrison reassures him as he makes his way to wash the dishes.
Later that night, Tom passes by Y/N as she makes her way to the bathroom across their bedroom. Tom tried his best to set up the bed as if she was staying with him, fluffing the pillows, pulking down the comforters, and turning up the AC. As Y/N finishes up, she sees him standing at the edge of the bed, waiting for her to join him. “Please? I cleaned up the room and gave you your favorite pillow because you know you cant sleep without it.” He pleads, pouting with his lower lip sticking up.
Y/N looks at the tidy room and the pillow he left her. She smiles when she takes notice of the the one pillow with flowers and ripped edges. It was her favorite pillow since she was 5 and sworn to everyone that it was the only pillowcase she could ever sleep peacefully in. With the thought and gesture Tom made today, Y/N figured it was the least she could do, though it didn’t mean he was forgiven compeltely yet. Tom smiles at his first victory as he climbs in the bed with her. He tries to snuggle closer and wrap his stron arm across her waist, whispering “I love you and I really am sorry.”
Y/N wasn’t too comfortable getting this close still, and ultimately took his hand that was on her waist and dropped it to his side. Tom, felt a slight hinge of sadness when she did that. She never refused his cuddles and anytime they had a fight they would always make up before rhe end of the day. He sighs loudly in silence. Y/N turns around to face his back, and leans over to give him a quick kiss on the cheek, which takes him by surprise. “I love you” she whispers, going back to her side of the bed.
The next day, Tom decides to take a quick trip to his parents house, who greet him with ipen arms. Though, both his parents, Paddy and Sam, notice the distress on his face. “What’s wrong son?” Tom’s mum asked with worry.
“Mum, Dad...I messed up.” He cries. “ I was just really stressed out this past week, with the movie, and the fans, and thinking about how I have to leave Y/N for Berlin...I-I- just said a lot of stupid things to her that I didnt mean.”
Tom’s mom rubs her son’s back as she tries to console him and calm his breathing. “There. There. Its going to be okay. You know Y/N loves you so much. Im sure you’ll both get through this.”
“That’s the thing mum. I don’t know if we can. She won’t even talk to me. I made her breakfast gave her flowers and even cleaned our room liek she asked me too. I don’t know what else to do to show her that I truly sorry.I told her I can’t wait to go to Berlin so I did have to hear her talk, but thats far from the truth. I don’t want to leave her when we’ve had all this time together.”
“Hmm...perhaps you should do the things that she doesn’t ask you to do. You know Y/N is also stressed with her job as well, she might not have time to get around to all the things that need to be done. Also tell her how you really feel besides that you’re sorry and you love her. You know both of you have had a hard week and there’s a lot of feelings bottled up inside. Just be honest with your feelings. I know you didn’t mean it and Im sure she knows too.”
Tom smiles at the last sentence, realizing the two haven’t really committed to the rules they promised each other, be honest and communicate with each other. “You’re right, Mum. I cant even remember the last time we really talked.” Tom got up up quickly whiping away the dry tears. “I’m gonna go make things right with Y/N. Thank you for everything. I love you.” Tom hugs his mother, before he makes his way ready to set things right.
As he pulls up to the house, Tom is ince again by the door with flowers in hand. Y/N sliently looks at him as she tilts her head curious as to why he’s on his toes...and with more flowers in hand. “Look you don’t have to say anything because I’m gonna be doing all the talking right now.”
Y/N looks at him in surprise, intrigued to hear what he has to say this time. “Y/N. Im know. im such a dumbass, clueless, and careless bloke who didn’t stop to think about your feelings and the things you wanted from me. I should have helped around more, I should asked how you were , and I definitely should have pushed my luggage to the side of the wall like you asked me too many times.” He says chuckling nervously. “And I know I fucked up, but Im really going to to try to make it an effort to listen more, and help you as much as I can. And Im so sorry for being so distant, I just I had a lot on my mind and the fact that I have to leave you, in two weeks when this has been the longest we’ve spent time together, it made me more sad.” Y/N looks at him with a sympathetic smile, almost ready to accept his apology. “So look, I know you’re probably still mad and everything, but Im really hoping this makes it up for you because I really do love you. Every single thing about you and theres only two more weeks before I leave and I want to spend every day, hour, minute, and second with you.”
There’s silence in the air as Tom looks into her eyes, trying to find some answer. “Every day, hour, minute, and second?” She questions him smiling. Tom’s face lights up with the brightest smile hes ever out on. He drops the flowers and hugs her even more tightly than he did with his mother, spinning her around. Nothing sounded better than hearing her laugh, it’s been far too long. He cups her face, kissing her passionately only to pull away and move the stray hairs from her face. Taking in every single detail of her face. “Yes. Ever day, hour, minute, and second..so lets not waste anymore time.” He grabs her hand as he rushed her to their room.
“Wait, wait, wait!” She yells with laughter. Tom sulks and groans, “Aw, what now?”
“You didnt even ask if I forgave you, yet?”
“Well...” Tom says pretending to think “Do you forgive me?”
Y/N looks at him, leaving a chaste kiss on his lips. “Of course I do.”
“Good. Now let’s go. Got to show you how much I appreciate and love you.” Tom smiles as he pulls her away.
Taglist:
@hollanddolanfangirl @parkerspillow @joyleenl @kihyunwifes
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toomanyfandoms02 · 3 years
Text
Kissletoe - Harry James Potter
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Summary - Two oblivious idiots finally get thrown into eachother.
Word Count - 2.1k
Hey :) I'm sorry I'm never on here. I lobe you guys so much. I hope you're having a beyond wonderful day
Valentines Day.
A day I dreaded for years, ever since first year. I would watch as girls would get candy grams from their boyfriends. Eating them in class with a big smile on their face. While I sat in silence, usually getting pity ones from my friends.
Once I hit fourth year it was a little different. I had grown a little and I had caught the attention of a few. Not that any of them were actually kind and well-meaning. I had the sense to realize that and only had one relationship through that time, but it started after one valentines day and ended before the next.
My family took Valentines day pretty seriously, it was silly really. They were pretty into the whole 'true love' thing, and soulmates. They hadn't judged me directly for not being as 'relationship oriented' as a good majority of my family, but I had heard whispers the past year. As if turning 15 meant I needed to be in some kind of committed relationship.
It wasn't that I didn't want to, it was just hard for me, having any interaction with someone I had feelings for. As of now, that boy was Harry Potter. This wasn't anything new, Hermione knew that. And that would be what had gotten us sitting in the library whispering about it behind opened books.
"Y/n I'm almost positive he likes you. Any time I mention you his cheeks flush. Have you seen the way he looks at you?" She looked at me as if I was as dim as a 6 year old lightbulb.
"Mione don't be daft, he's a nervous boy. I'm sure he acts the same way with any girl." I felt shallow liking Harry, even knowing that I didn't like him for being 'The Chosen One'. I liked him for the way he tapped his wand on the table when he was focused on his parchment. Or the way he smiled when he was talking about his friends. And especially when he would be looking down at something and he would have to keep pushing up his sliding glasses.
"Godric you really are oblivious." She giggled, looking back at her book. Just then a book was slammed in front of us on the table, my head whipped up and I heard a distant shush.
"Here is the lesson plan for the next month." Harry said with a smile. He was having a lot of fun as the head of Dumbledore's Army. Hermione grabbed it and flipped through a few pages.
"That's brilliant Harry. Looks amazing as usual." He sat down with us in the comfortable silence and skimmed the pages of his work. I went back to my book when I felt eyes on me. I looked to my side to see a sinister smirk on Hermiones face. "So what are you doing this Valentines Day Harry?" She asked casually, I stared daggers at her.
"What day is that again? It's this weekend right?"
"Yeah its Saturday." I replied, continuing to stare at my book and biting the inside of my cheek.
"Probably nothing then. I don't do much on the weekends." He shrugged.
"What are you doing Y/n?" She nudged me not so subtly. I rolled my eyes, she knew the answer to this stupid question. But any chance I get to vent about this party, I take it.
"I'm taking the floo to my parents house. They are having their stupid valentines day bash like every year. I don't even know why they invite me to it anymore. Every person in my family sits around and cuddles up on eachother and we all make cookies. And theres a dinner, most sickeningly is that the food is pink and heart themed. Anything they can make pink and lovey they do so. I'm just sick of going and hearing the whispers about how 'I'm the only kid in the family who never brings someone' and that 'usually by my age I would have a long term boyfriend.' I'm contemplating not even going." I got so caught up in the moment, I could feel my face heat up from the anger of remembering the words. "Its just bullshit." I shrugged it off.
"You've never brought anyone to it?" Harry piped up.
"What, are you going make fun of me too?" I laughed half-heartedly.
"No no! I just thought that you would've always had someone to bring, considering I know at least 5 people who have eyes for you right now." My eyebrows scrunched together at this.
"Excuse me?" This was news to me. Harry's eyes widened.
"I thought you knew..."
"Well certainly not!" I said, trying to keep quiet about how flabbergasted I was. "Well tell me who they are you dimwit!" I waved my hands sporadically
"Reed Barron, Lachlan Argo, Angus Davy, and Colin Hagie." He said with a nod.
"That's only 4 Harry." I laughed. He nodded with a smile, looking everywhere but my eyes. "Harry? Who's the fifth?" Hermione looked at me with squinted eyes and a sneer.
"You daft bimbo, its *him*."
"Hermione!" Harry looked at her with an unbelievable look.
"You should go with her to her valentines day party Harry." She looked so unbothered, continuing to read.
"Mione!" I elbowed her side, to no effect, she just kept talking.
"I really cannot handle it anymore you two. You both only talk about eachother. Coming and whining to me about how one doesn't like the other. Love is so blind." She flipped a page. "But please, go one and tell me I'm wrong." She looked between the both of us silently. "That's what I thought." It was silent after that for a good 5 minutes before I spoke up again, taking all the courage I had to say what I wanted to for a long time.
"Do you want to go to the party with me Harry?" I looked up at him slowly to see a shy smile on his lips.
"I really would like to go." He nodded.
"Finally." Hermione huffed, setting her book down finally. "Now that I know you guys will actually talk about this I'll leave you both be." She then got up and left us alone at the table. I laughed and leaned my face into my hands.
"I'm sorry for never saying anything to you about it, I was worried you liked Dean." Harry said quietly. This made me laugh harder.
"Oh no, we have been friends for far too long, he's like a brother to me. He will probably be thrilled to know I'm finally going on a date with you."
"A date." Harry stated, just smiling at me, certainly making my insides melt.
--------------
We stood in the fireplace holding floo powder in our hands.
"Just say the Y/L/N residence and it should take us there safely." He nodded and we vanished with the words, quickly ending up in the fireplace of our basement.
"I'm going to apologize in advance for my crazy lovey family." I cracked a smile, grabbing his hand and leading us up the stairs. I heard giggles and smelled fresh cookie dough. "Mum I'm home!" I yelled as I hit the top step. Harry quickly intertwined our fingers and squeezed my hand. My mother came barreling around the corner with a big smile and arms out wide, soon lowering her arms when she actually approached us.
"Who's this?" She gestured to Harry with a smile.
"This is Harry." He extended his hand to her politely. She took it graciously, wrapping both hands around his.
"Its so nice to meet you." My mum was never one to judge me for never bringing home a boy, so I comfortably knew that she would not embarrass me. She was a very intelligent woman who knew when not to speak of things. Like how she knew that this was *the* Harry Potter. It was the rest of my family I had to worry about. "I'm so glad your here!" She let go of his hand and led us into the kitchen where the rest of the family stood. All eyes were on Harry as we walked in.
"Y/n sweetie! Welcome home." My dad brought me in for a hug and peered back at the boy. "Are you who I think you are?" He tilted his head slightly.
"Dad please-"
"Everyone! Y/n has brought a boy!" Oh thank god.
"Harry Potter!" Nevermind. I grabbed Harrys hand and pulled him much closer to me as my cousin shouted. Harry waved at everyone with a sweet smile.
"Its nice to meet you all." Sometimes I wanted to give my whole family one good slap, excluding my mother. I dragged him to the dining room table all while giving my family a good glare.
"I'm so sorry about them." I whispered, leaving my head on his shoulder.
"It's really okay Y/n, I'm kind of use to it by now." He laughed, looking down at me with a smile. God that smile. We then heard two little claps and looked up to see my mom.
"Alright every one! Grab a bowl of cookie dough! Let's put these on a pan." I looked over to Harry and rolled my eyes. I grabbed us a bowl and a pan, setting it in front of us.
"Theres really nothing to it. My mum just firmly believes that baking helps the soul, and if you're helping your souls together, it bonds them." I grabbed a tiny ice cream scoop and handed it to him. "Just pick up some dough with it and put it on the pan." He did so and, just like he was with everything else, he did it amazingly. I pointed at the dough. "I told you, sickeningly pink." I was referencing the pink chocolate chips.
"Hey, don't bash on the pinkness of this holiday." My aunt laughed. "So Harry-"
"Here we go." I giggled, taking the scoop from Harry's hand, brushing his fingers as I did so and blushing a bit.
"Don't interrupt me, my wonderful niece. Harry, how long have you liked my favorite neice?" He blushed a bit, adjusting his glasses on his nose.
"Well probably a little over a year now." My head whipped to the side.
"Harry, seriously?" He nodded, the tips of his ears reddening by the second. "I can't believe you kept quiet for over a year you dimwit." I nudged his side playfully.
"Don't be a hypocrite, how long have you liked me?" He raised an eyebrow at me and I couldnt help but smile.
"I realized I liked you when you had to fight the dragon fourth year. I was so worried about you." I slowly looked back at the cookie dough.
"That's far over a year!" He shook his head at me with a huge grin.
"You two are too cute." My aunt squealed. "Please tell me you know the exact moment you liked her too." She put her chin in her hand, intently listening.
"I do."
"Oh do tell." I tilted my head, waiting for an answer.
"It was last year sometime in January, we were going to Hogsmeade and it was snowing. While we were walking you looked at the sky and opened your mouth to catch snowflakes. Instead though, one fell right in your eye and you acted as if you were just shot. You fell into my arms all dramatic telling to to kiss it better. You closed your eyes so I could do so and all I could see was the snow that had fallen in your hair and eyelashes. I knew then." Sometime halfway through he couldn't look me in the eyes. The whole family was listening at this point, just quiet, more quiet than I had heard them in a while.
"Harry, that's so sweet. And I'm now realizing that was a horrible attempt of mine at flirting." I laughed, grabbing his face and kissing his cheek.
"You have such a way with words young man." My dad nodded at Harry. I suspiciously watched as he waved his wand.
*Oh No*
I looked up to see a pink heart shaped flower growing above us.
*Kissletoe*
Harry looked up at it with a puzzled face.
"Its a kissletoe. You don't have to if you don't want to."
"Kiss you?"
"Yeah..."
He shook his head and grabbed my face softly, bringing his lips to mine and smiling into it quickly. I rubbed my thumb across his cheek and smiled back. As we pulled away, cheers came from the table and I buried myself in Harry's neck.
*I hope this boy is my forever.*
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spaceskam · 4 years
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prompt from anon: I noticed this posted on another blog, not sure if you’re taking requests. But Vlamis posting a picture packing a blunt also made me think of sleepy and lazy Malex sex after smoking together. Even Forrest and Alex? Feel like Forrest would be all aboard the pot train. Just makes me feel like a lazy early summer evening when it’s still kinda cool out and smoking just feels that much better. 
ao3
Michael Guerin had spent a lot of time reminding himself of Alex Manes’ beauty. And, yet, nothing he could picture in his mind compared to the real thing.
Alex had turned up at his door, still in his fatigues and his eyes quietly pleading for assistance in getting out of them. Every time he showed up, he was always itching to shed them and, with his hair buzzed all short, Michael always had to assume he wanted a moment to be himself. Who was Michael if not a master at giving him what he wanted?
Like any other time, Michael pulled the 24-year-old into his trailer, silently undoing his uniform jacket. The first time he’d done this had required a lot of assistance--these things were ridiculously complicated and layered--but now he’d gotten it to a science. As an act of sheer defiance, he threw it on the ground and threw his hat right after it. Alex looked at it for a moment, conflicted on whether he should let it go on or if he should fold it nice and neat. Michael stole his attention by pressing a kiss to his lips and undoing his belt.
Michael stripped him bare, including his underwear and socks, and it should’ve been weird. If it were him and he was standing naked in front of someone that wasn’t Alex who was fully clothed, he’d probably feel so vulnerable that it’d hurt. But Alex was just leaning into him for comfort, not giving a damn what he looked like because he knew Michael didn’t mind. Which, in itself, was an understatement.
“Not sure if I believe in a big man upstairs, but, if he's here, he took a lot of time makin' you perfect," Michael told him, smiling as Alex huffed a tired laugh against his neck.
Michael let his fingertips slide over the ridges of Alex's military-primed body and over his slim waist waist and his hips and the curve of his ass, a silent praise of every inch that made up Alex Manes. He shivered slightly in his grasp and Michael pressed an open-mouthed kiss to his shoulder before peeling off him.
He moved to his makeshift closet and pulled out a shirt, boxers, sweats, and socks for Alex. They were what Alex always wore whenever he came down. Michael redressed him slowly, pressing kisses wherever he could because he knew Alex liked it. He'd learned quick that he would do whatever Alex liked.
Once he was fully dressed, Alex fell heavily on him and Michael wrapped him up in his arms. He breathed him in and kissed his jaw before just nuzzling close, swaying slighty. He could never get enough.
"You're tense," Michael murmured as he rubbed over his shoulders, "When's your next drug test, Private?"
"Guerin," Alex sighed lightly. They fell silent for a moment, nothing but their breathing. Michael didn't prod, but he also knew him. Anything that put him in a position that he couldnt escape quickly made him antsy. Getting high meant he was stuck with Michael until that wore off.
But, as much as his military brain told him not to put himself in a compromising position with another man, Alex Manes wanted nothing more than to be in compromising positions with him.
"I just took mine for the year last month and I'm home for a month," Alex told him, leaning back a little. He put a hand on Michael's cheek, his thumb grazing over his bottom lip. His eyes focused in on his mouth for a few moments before he sleepily dragged himself out of it. "What'd you have in mind?"
A few minutes later, they were in the front seat of Michael's truck and heading out into their spot in the desert. Alex, softened from a long plane ride and months of "special training, can't talk about it", cuddled up into his side. He always only did that on his first night back, always giving himself that little window of being young and attached again. Michael savored it.
He put his truck in park as he got to their spot and cut the engine. Alex didn't give him a chance to move before he grabbed his chin, bringing his face his direction before giving him a soft kiss. One kiss dragged to the next dragged to the next, every movement slow and lethargic and sucking Michael of every last fucking brain cell. He didn't know how to explain how much he'd missed him.
Alex's hand wandered lower as his tongue teased against lips, distracting Michael just enough to steal the joint from his pocket before sliding out of the passenger door. He left Michael hanging mid-kiss which instigated a soft laugh. Michael licked his lips, still tasting Alex on them before he slid out of the driver's side and followed Alex into the bed. He'd already undone a sleeping bag, making himself comfortable inside. Michael eyed him as he sat beside him, grabbing a blanket to drape over him.
"Lighter?" Alex asked. Michael slid closer, grabbing a lighter out of his pocket. Alex leaned close and let him light the joint for him. Michael watched in sort of a trance as Alex breathed in, his eyes closing and he leaned back.
He slowly pulled it out of his mouth and blew out a puff of smoke. Michael leaned in, inhaling it secondhand. Alex peeked his eyes open and smiled. God, he was gorgeous, what the fuck.
Alex took another drag, this time holding it and reaching out with his bare hand to grab the back of Michael's head. He pulled him close and breathed the smoke directly into his mouth, lips so close to touching and all. Michael shut his eyes as he breathed in. They sat there close for a moment before they slightly shifted their position into kiss. It was just as slow as Michael’s mind felt and only ended when Alex nudged him back slightly and held out the joint.
They passed it back and forth, still staying close. There was something so undeniably sexy about him dressed head to toe in Michael’s clothes and cuddling into them. Part of him wanted to rip them off him so he could feel his skin, but another part wanted him to stay just like that forever.
Slowly, as they came to a stopping point, they let the high slowly sink into their system. Alex seemed a little more effected, a little more smiley, a little more amused by the sky, a little more willing to curl tug on Michael’s curls just to watch them spring back into place.
“Hmm, you were right,” Alex said, “I think I needed this.”
“Yeah, I think you did too,” Michael chuckled. He was still as close as he could get, that stupid sleeping bag the main thing separating them. He raked his hand through Alex’s short hair and got lost in the way he almost giggled.
“I like you so much,” he said. Michael grinned, his hand sliding to cup the side of his neck. Alex sighed heavily, leaning into it. “Why are you so far away?”
“Me far away? You’re the one traveling to fight wars in the Middle East,” Michael pointed out. Alex laughed a little more and shrugged.
“Yeah, but you are so far when I’m there,” Alex pointed out.
“But I’m always here when you come home, that’s gotta count for somethin’,” Michael laughed right back. Alex smiled all wide.
“Yeah,” he said, looking at him through half-lidded eyes, “Yeah, it counts.”
They stared at each other for a little before meeting in another kiss. There had to be something poetic about kissing under the stars in the desert. Michael hadn’t quite found the poem yet, but he knew it had to exist. Maybe he needed to write himself. But even he couldn’t find the words to do Alex justice, so maybe not.
Maybe this moment alone could stand as their poem. Would his 10th grade English teacher accept that?
“Why are you laughing while you’re kissing me? What’s funny about kissing me?” Alex asked. Michael scrunched up his nose, noticing that he was laughing before he tilted to kiss his cheek.
“Just thinkin’ about something funny,” Michael said. Alex gave an over exaggerated pout that.
“Think about me,” Alex demanded. Michael wanted to get him high more.
“Well, that’s the world’s easiest request.”
“Can I give a harder request?” Alex asked. Michael raised an amused eyebrow, already ready to laugh before Alex asked. “Get in here with me.”
“It’s a one person sleeping bag.”
“Oh, what a shame it’ll be to be pressed so close to you that you’re all I can feel, I’m so--”
They were both silenced by laughter as Michael started trying to climb into sleeping bag. It took a little maneuvering, a lot of laughing, and the perfect amount of pressing together. Alex wrapped his arms around his neck and interlocked their legs. Eventually, they settled in comfortably and laughter subsided.
“Hi,” Alex whispered. Michael smiled again and bumped his nose into Alex’s.
“Hi.”
Alex pulled him into a kiss easily, everything just as slow as it’d been all night. Michael would never admit it, perhaps because he could never find the words, but he liked when Alex went all slow. It made it feel like they weren’t racing against the clock to be with each other, there was no rush. It was just them, both in Michael’s secondhand, soft clothes. There was no reason to pretend the had a time limit. Michael knew they didn’t. Yes, Alex would leave, but he would come back. One day, he would stay. It was okay. No time limit on them, just a time limit on him being gone.
“Sometimes... Sometimes when I’m out in the desert, the other desert,” Alex said against his lips suddenly, voice soft like he was telling a secret, “I can only think of you. And sometimes, when we get high, I’m so scared that when it wears off, it’s all gonna be gone. You’re gonna be gone. I’m in the wrong desert.”
Michael swallowed harshly, the giggly mood gone for good. He slid his hand up Alex’s side, hoping to make him realize that he was real. He was here. He was going nowhere.
“I’m not gonna be gone,” Michael promised him.
“I know,” Alex whispered, “But...”
“No. You’re in the right desert. I can prove it to you,” Michael insisted.
“How?” Alex asked.
Michael thought about it. How could he prove it? Part of him considered digging behind the seat in his truck to see if he could find his microscope, but he figured Alex wouldn’t know what a slide of the Middle Eastern desert looked like in comparison. Instead, he rolled slightly so Alex was on his back and Michael hung over him.
“We’ll wait it out,” he said, “And it’ll all be real.”
“Okay,” Alex agreed, pulling him into another kiss.
They just kissed for awhile, the sleeping bag too tight to really allow them to do anything more than half-assed dry humping and groping. Honestly, neither of them seemed to mind. It brought back memories from back during the summer after high school where they had Alex’s 15 minute break to hook up in the bathroom of the UFO Emporium but were too scared to risk anything more.
But tonight it was just easy. He was at peace and Alex seemed to be more sure that Michael was indeed right there with every passing second. He didn’t want to leave.
Eventually though, as it stared getting closer to 3 in the morning, they slowly decided they should go back to the airstream. It took them longer than they’d ever repeat to get out of that damn sleeping bag.
On the ride back, Alex was curled against him again, this time humming along to the radio and telling him impulsive stories about that super classified shit he was doing that he really shouldn’t be sharing. Michael knew he’d kept bigger secrets, so it wasn’t too big a deal.
“So, you’re gonna become, like, an officer?” Michael asked as they pulled up to the airstream. Alex nodded.
“Yeah, the plan is to eventually outrank my dad and then laugh at him,” Alex said. Michael snorted.
“I believe in you.”
They fell into bed and Alex felt right beside him. He seemed to snuggle up so close that there was no chance of him picking up and leaving before the morning came. Of course, Michael had thought that before.
Still, he smiled as he wrapped Alex up in his arms and he gave that sweet little pleased hum. Alex pressed his face against his neck, huddling close.
“I like being so close to you,” Alex said. Michael smiled.
“I like being close to you too.”
Michael couldn’t wait until the future when he never had to be far away.
(ps if you enjoyed any of this at all, go read @prouvaireafterdark ‘s slightly sillier, slight smuttier fic with a similar premise)
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msiopao · 4 years
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Taeseong with the Members
KOREAN BIG MINION
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constantly teases joong with his height
joong keeps teasing him with his constant squinting
feeds into joong’s minion fascination and always buys anything minion tae sees
tae always calls him ‘appa’ and proves his point as joong is always having to drag him home from the studio
‘yah, enough with composing. the computer is making your eyesight worse’
calls joong ‘leader-nim’ and pesters him to death
‘leader-nim!’ ‘lEAdEr-Nim!’ ‘LEADER-NIM!’
‘wHAT tAESeoNg?!’
‘hi’
their long times in the studio made them really close and when tae gets into it, he GETS into IT
deep talks
the only person who can make tae open up
tae isnt emotional but tears up a little whenever joong reminds him that he’s always enough and completes ateez
‘min taeseong, im not talking to you as a leader, but as a brother. even when you think you’re dragging ateez down or lacking, you’re not. in fact, you always push us and you’re the glue that keeps us together. we are family and we never leave family behind.’
TOOTHLESS
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tae always clings to hwa like a koala
calls him ‘eomma’
absolutely HATES tae’s smoking habits
‘YAH! MIN TAESEONG! if you’re going to smoke, do it away from the building!’
‘b-but, i’m in the,,,, balcony?’
‘get that AWAY FROM HERE, YOU HEAR?!’
helping hwa cook is tae and him’s bonding time
tae is constantly wowed by how handsome seonghwa is
number one seonghwa stan
favorite movie is How to Train Your Dragon because toothless looks like seonghwa
that one wave fancam of seonghwa? 
tae has seen it millions of times
in their vlives, seonghwa is always seen patting tae’s head and runs his fingers through his hair
always the first one to notice that tae’s down and when he’s not talking, seonghwa tells joong immediately
‘taeseong-ie acts like he’s so cool and manly all the time but he’s actually the biggest softie i know.’
EMMA WATSON FANBOY
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sat through the Harry Potter movies and Beauty and the Beast movies for Emma Watson
awkward line 
clowns him a lot
‘uRi sAGuiLKKA?!’
‘istg child if you DONT STOP’
absolutely adores his birthmark
hates it when the makeup covers it because its precious and part of yeosang that’s being hidden from the world
‘first his lines now his beauty mark?’
they initially didnt get along since they both had kinda cold personalities but became close after that
tae loves to hear his voice and tae looks forward to the day that he gets more lines
yeosang tried to teach tae how to skate but tae just seems to never know how to balance
like seonghwa, tae gets so blown away with how beautiful yeosang is
tae tries not to stand between yeosang and seonghwa bc the amount of attractiveness and talent they radiate
‘we all have that but they just seem to radiate it more,, is it the increased handsomeness?’
tae always hugs him and stuff but cringes whenever yeosang so much as wraps an arm around his shoulders
‘seong is very weird. he loves to give affection but when its given back, he just has this face of discomfort. there’s no equality with him.’
HARRY POTTER STAN
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harry potter fanboys
these two have Harry Potter marathons constantly
tae loves literature and books and finding someone else who likes harry potter in his group really made him happy
they’re the moodmakers of the group and are always hyper together
tae thinks mingi and yunho are the best dancers so he always tries his best to match to their level
both absolutely hate to wake up early and are by far the laziest members in the morning
poor san who has to wake them up and drag them out of bed
hides tae’s cigs and lighters and sometimes, throws them out
‘i swear i put it here. yunho, did you see it?’
*yunho shaking his head with an angelic innocent face*
tae’s not stupid tho so he knows it’s yunho throwing them out
ends up getting really angry w him and just,,,,
chaos
their room has a bunk and a twin bed and yunho sometimes steals tae’s bed and tae just letting him have it and sleep in the bottom bunk
kinda tiny so he loves wearing yunho’s sweaters 
‘tae and I are very similar so we do the same things and share everything like our clothes and bed. he doesnt like it when another member does it but since we were classmates in school, he’s comfortable with me.’
MOUNTAIN
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absolutely ADORES his smile
i mean,,, look at that
tae loves to poke his dimples and tae just breaks out into giggles when san tries to bite his finger
shiber is their adopted child
whenever tae or san is feeling down, a plushie fixes everything
thats why san has so many of them
1/3 of yutaesan room
the devil gang gang
it was san first and tae got really fascinated and tried to mimick him
ended up perfecting it
rip atiny
san’s low self-esteem always made tae sad so he is always telling him how perfect and talented he is
but san also tries to give it back which never works since tae is a witty little demon
perfect example:
‘how is the most beautiful person in the world today?’
‘i dont know, choi san, how are you today?’
*blubbering nonsense*
tae dies a little inside everytime choi san makes cute little noises
‘CHOI SAN, say purple again’
affection and skinship 24/7
‘if min taeseong was a girl, i’d marry him on the spot.’
ICANNOTENGLISHI
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look how perfect this man is sjikfdhfjd
N E ways
this tol boi makes tae feel real intimidated and scared
when they first met, tae actually tried to distance himself from mingi
had this scary vibe and aura from him
but when mingi laughed and giggled after mingi made a sarcastic remark
it was over,,
tae used to love piggyback rides from him but stopped when he had a back problem
instead just constantly backhugs him
when they were in kq fellaz, tae always stayed behind w mingi to practice some more
tried to teach him english but gave up because mingi couldnt stop laughing at tae
‘the way you speak it is just so funny!’
as a fellow rapper, tae is constantly wowed with mingi and has this small smile whenever he raps
deep voice for D A Y S
in australia, tae went with him to get medicine and wanted to help him badly but was too busy laughing 
another affection victim
‘i remember when tae was still this short little dude but now he’s almost my height. what have they been feeding them?’
GIGGLES
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laughter and giggles 24/7
woo gives tae cheek kisses all the time and tae gags
but tae does the same thing to him
thinks grey-haired woo is the superior form of the perfection called jung wooyoung
shares the same adoration for BTS 
while woo likes jimin, tae loves taehyung
the rare times that tae gets drunk, woo is the only one he listens to
‘yah, mingi, call wooyoung. he needs to get him to bed’
‘wOoYOUnG?! WHERE?!’
atiny loves it during fanmeets that tae and woo sing together since tae trained to be a vocal and woo loves his voice
tae does whatever he can to make woo laugh 
addicted to his laugh
tae actually met woo’s parents and woo’s mom loves tae
whenever woo does anything sexy, tae just cringes and turns away
jung wooyoung say my name era is tae’s death
‘JUNG WOOYOUNG!!!’
tae just love wooyoung
periodt
‘even though we have a long schedule or practice, seeing tae makes everything more bearable.’
APPLE
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TERRIFIED
jongho scares all of his hyungs but scares tae the most
when tae first saw him break an apple, his eyes practically bugged out of his head
refuses to go to the gym with jongho bc this boy is ripped and makes tae feel terrible
took tae a while to actually get used to him
now, tae squishes his cheeks and just hugs him very tight
‘my baby!!’
like how na jaemin is to park jisung
he stresses tae out sometimes 
tae constantly buys him food the most out of the members bc jongho is a growing boy 
we been knew that jongho just belts out some song and tae gets so startled all the time
it echoes throughout their dorm
can carry tae in one arm which terrifies his members more
‘is,,, is that??’
‘oh yeah, gucci released a new bag’
‘i’m the bag’
tae cried when jongho graduated and was like a mom and filmed the whole thing and took pictures
hates affection which makes tae give him more affection
tae and seonghwa are his moms
‘tae-hyung always wakes me up by hugging me but when i return the hug he leaves.’
yeosang: ‘maybe he’s scared that you will literally crush him to death?’
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got2ghost-archive · 4 years
Text
ten ships and why!! I was tagged by @alienfuckeronmain AHH THANK U I LOVE TALKING ABT THIS SHIT
Half of my list is childhood best friends to lovers let's GOOOO
1. drarry
*deep shuddering inhale* I have thought abt draco and harry being foils before I even reached double digits. they could have saved each other and had so much potential to even just be FRIENDS!! if j*r wasn't like that, then she could have actually made a meaningful impact on draco early on. abt how you don't have to be your parents! and how to heal!! anyway I love them any way shape or form. I love reading dark gritty fucked up stories about them just as much as I love reading domestic silly fluffy stuff for them. draco would NOT put up with harry's bullshit and harry would NOT go easy on draco either but they're ultimately just two lonely boys who grew up in fucked up households who have much more in common than they realize!!! LIKE!!
2. wangxian
yes they're a new one but God their love extends so deeply. yes they r basically Chinese fantasy Kirk/spock!!
lan zhan is so in love w wei ying and is so devoted and everything he does is action or acts of service which js very much my love language!! but he also feels a deep sense of obligation to the rules and codes he's learned?? and wei ying loves lan zhan but it takes him a long time to accept it bc he DOESNT BELIEVE HE IS DESERVIG OF LOVE despite being so GOOD. AND THEY NEVER TALK TO EACH OTHER OR COMMUNICATE THEY WAY THEY SHOULD!!!! AND HE DIES and LAN ZHAN IS JUST. REPENTENT FOR 16 YEARS AND RAISES HIS SON AND IS SO INCREDIBLY SAD AND MISERABLE BUT THEN WWX comes BACK TO LIFE and they get to try again AND THEY GET TO BE HAPPY???? ANYWAY ACTS OF DEVOTION I!!!!
3. soriku
I've genuinely thought abt them since I was TEN when the first kingdom hearts game came out but it didn't solidify until KH2 came out when sora has to search for riku the entire game and when he finally does RIKU DOESNT EVEN LOOK LIKE HIMSELF BUT SORA STILL RECOGNIZES HIM ANYWAY AND HOLDS HIS HAND AND CRIES. THAT SHIT MADE ME GAY! I had never witnessed such tenderness and they are so inherently queer and subtle that it's one of the first stories I ever saw myself in. on top of that I also read that doujinshi that I consider Canon and it's so!! childhood best friends! with big complicated feelings of jealousy and betrayal and possessiveness when you start to grow apart from the person you care about the most!! and in game they're slowly... circling to become end game? the entire story revolves around them saving each other and RIKU LITERALLY CALLING SORA HIS MOST PRECIOUS PERSON? AHHHHHH
4. sterek
I will never forgive what the show did but the Fandom and the writing from that fandom is incredibly important to me. they're like my comfort pairing and I just love that Derek is sad and grumpy but it's because he's fucked up and needs to go to therapy and stiles is also kind of fucked up but happier and he's smart and beautiful and!!! they were obviously attracted to each other!! almost all of their stories involve CONSENT or Derek hale getting better slowly. they mean a lot to me bc my mom was dying while I clung to this fandom and wrote my grief fic and I always associate them with that time in my life. I could and did read like 30 stories abt Derek doing laundry and buying wooden spoons and trying to move on and be a healthier happier person.
5. taagnus
rarely have rare pairs but this is one of them and!!! look. I didn't ship them until the last two arcs of the show revealed that instead of only knowing each other for a few years and being idiots they in fact knew each other for 100 years+ and DIED A LOT together and saved each other. BUT COULDN'T REMEMBER IT YET THEY STILL KIND OF... FALL IN LOVE AGAIN? they balance each other so much. magnus is magnus - brave and GOOD. taako is so closed off, careful abt trusting people so when he acted on gut instinct to LITERALLY THROW HIS SOUL OUT OF HIS BODY TO SAVE MAGNUS I was hooked. I know that taako ends up w kravitz but bc we didn't get to see Krav much I couldn't grow attached to him? I love the thought of first love and exploring that - how it never goes away, really but you can still love other people!! plus! I love writing them as lesbians! they're butch/femme to me!
6. ruth/debbie
UGH. UGH!!!!! they're so obsessed with each other and it's so filled with repression and anger and betrayal thst has nothing to do with Ruth fucking her husband and everything to do with the trust of their friendship. it's such a complicated weird fucked up intense 'friendship' that I love to see and like!! sometimes my friendships w women FELT like that. the times I have felt the most hurt is when I lose a friend bc a part of me is in love w them in some way!! Ruth and Debbie are just. in love. though. and Ruth is never gonna admit it and she's gonna... be in a comp het relationship even tho she thinks Debbie is smart and sexy and she idolizes her GOD.
7. gene/finny
YES MOST OF MY PAIRINGS ARE SAD WHAT OF IT? I read this book as a sophomore in hs and I simply could not stop thinking abt how gay and in love they were. FIRST OF ALL THE metaphors!!!!!! gene as winter and finny as summer!! and how codependent and weird they were even tho finny KNEW gene broke his leg. he didn't want to believe it bc he WAS IN LOVE WITH HIM. THEY WENT ON A DATE TO THE BEACH? THE PINK SHIRT? finny being the embodiment of childhood innocence and Gene literally breaking that? and killing it? once again I just love reading abt how complex jealousy is and where it comes from and also REPRESSION!!!
8. forrden
yes I'm including my own OC with @dosalesbian
I wrote abt them for FOUR YEARS. they're childhood best friends who fall in love and marry and are in love no matter what universe and are so soft and tender and healing. forrest goes thru a lot of gender exploration and aiden is just the partner I want to be!! he's goofy and LOVES HER SO MUCH AND SUPPORTS HER SO MUCH GOD!!!!
9. kuroken
they r a new one and yes once again childhood best friends but in a FUN NEW WAY that I want to explore. kenma is like disinterested in most things except gaming and whatever kuroo wants to do and has a hard time socializing bc he's SHY and is too observant! and kuroo is big and dumb and passionate but was also a stupid anxious child. I think they're those friends who are dating but don't even know they're dating or their relationship is so indescribable to themselves and others that it's hard to take any step forward or backward bc theyre SO codependent and yes. I want to explore that and read abt them more.
10. don't look at me yes im putting ryden on here
THEY WERE IN LOVE BUT COULDNT ADMIT IT AND THEN BRENDON WROTE 3 BREAKUP ALBUMS ABT RYAN? AND RYAN RELEASED A SONG THE SAME WEEK BRENDON GOT MARRIED? they're never gonna be friends again bc they can't just be friends
okay!! I tag @scottspack @dosalesbian @pattern-pals hehe
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Note
Reddie going to on a date to the fair...only if you want💗
YES I LOVE THIS CONCEPT
*i took me so long to write this, there might be some errors sorry*
- def like last summer of them all being in derry
-their 18 and richie is moving to LA and eddie is going to NY
-richie knows his time with eds is running out and hes been a lot more clingy than usual
-eddie knows it too and hes been spendig a lot more alone time with his favorite trashmouth
-eddie HATES change so he has regular panic attack just thinking of being away from the losers (especially richie) 
when he gets the panic attacks he usually just throws himself onto richie and starts playing with his shirt
richie started seeing a pattern and lets him calm down, he tries rubbing his back or making him laugh
when eddie isnt with richie when he has one (which tends to only happen at night) he will sneak out of his house and go to richies (richie now leaves his window open for eddie bc of it )
the losers part ways in about 3 weeks 
so for the past week eddie has been sleeping at richies everynight, he waits for his mom to go to sleep and goes directly to richies house
they usually just lie in bed somewhat cuddling 
they both know theres this unspoken thing between them but no one acts on it
the second to last week of  August theres the annual Derry summer fair. The losers have been going there since forever and its like the best part of the summer for them
they usually all go together for a whole day and stay to watch the fireworks then head to mikes farm for a sleepover/bonfire 
one day richie cant take it anymore and calls bev, he just kinda blurs out that he loves eddie and bev starts laughing 
“yeah we all figured you guys love eachother”
“wait you guys? you think eddie loves me too?”
“well none of us spend every night cuddling, and holding hands and sitting on each others laps” 
“you guys noticed that huh”
“omg you’re such a idiot sometimes rich”
“idk what to do though, how am i going to live without eddie”
“you guys will see each other, dont worry, we promised each other annual trips and we all come back to derry for the summers right? You guys will see each other eventually”
“but i can barely stand being without him for a day. You remember last month when his mother didnt let him leave the house bc he coughed? I was freaking miserable that day and i made everyone else miserable too.”
“well rich, i dont know what to tell you, youre going to have to find a way to survive without him, you guys can still call each other when your in school. Its a temporary move, you guys can live together or whatever after college”
“i need to tell him how i feel, i cant just leave without telling him”
“I think thats a good idea, let me know how it goes”
the next day the losers go to the fair, end up causing too much trouble (like always) and then went back to mikes farm. they all got drunk and very emotional, lots of crying bc they were all moving. some promises were made about calling each other at least once a week and plans were made about visiting each other during the thanksgiving holiday and taking a spring break trip together. (their all going to NYC for thanksgiving to see the christmas tree and probably going to LA for spring break)
during the sleepover richie and eddie and sleeping next to each other, richie reaches out to see if eddie is awake and as soon as richies hand is on eddie back, eddie turns around and puts his head on richies chest. 
“eddie do you want to go back to the fair with me tomorrow?”
“yeah we can go back , i think mike would like that bc he was totally smitten with that gir-
“no i mean just you and me”
“just you and me....uhh um okay that sounds like fun”
THE NEXT DAY
after eating breakfast at the farm they make up some weird excuse to why they couldnt hang out with the other losers and both leave (richie somehow said he needed to buy a cat)
-once they get to the fair theres this kinda awkward silence between them. Richie tries to make stupid jokes but all hes getting from eddie is nervous laughter
“hey eds whats wrong” richie says as he grads eddies hand
“i just, idk what are we doing?”
“well were at the fair, its this big fun thing we do every year”
“i know what a fair is you idiot, i mean why did you only want to come with me”
“bc i wanted to spend the day with my little eds!” (richie def pinches his cheek)
“dont call me that! god im so not going to miss that nickname when college starts”
“stop lying to yourself  my little spaghetti, youre going to miss not hearing it everyday”
they end up walking around trying some of the games.
eddie spotted a Koala that he really wanted and richie set out a mission to win it
he ended up spending like 20 dollars on tickets bc he kept losing the game. but when he finally got it, the look on eddies face made it all worthwhile
eddie decided to name the koala trashmouth for his knight in shining armour that got him in the first place
richie melts
eddie also named him that bc richie TOTALLY loves to koala hug eddie (and thats also why he wanted the koala in the first place bc he thought of richie when he saw it)
eddie gets them both candied apples
richie drops his after two bites
so they end up sharing eddies
at the end of the day richie insists on going to the ferris wheel
so they go and they sit right next to each other, eddie head on richies shoulder and finger intertwined 
they stop at the top and richie thinks its now or never
“hey eds, i need to tell you something and i dont want you to say anything, just let me finish”
“hm okay”
“you know how a couple of years ago you told me you loved coming to the fair because being here with your friends made you so happy. And that you absolutely loved coming on the Ferris wheel because being so high up and seeing the beautiful view of the town at sunset made you feel at peace and so whole...”
“yeah i remember that”
“well thats how you make me feel”
richie is playing with the hem of his shirt and every second that eddie doesnt say anything he starts shaking more and more
eddie sits quietly, in shock, and finally starts to process what richie says. he is quickly distracted by a tapping noise coming form richie
he looks at richie and sadness overcomes him, hes never seen richie look so nervous and scared in his life. the only thing he wants to do is hold him tight and thats exactly what the does
the second eddie takes richie into his arms richie just starts sobbing. the relief of the secret and the reality or their situation was just too much for him to handle
“shh shh ‘chee its okay, please dont cry baby”
“ i just, i dont know how im going to survive without you, youre my bestest friend eds and i love you so much..”
“i love you too richie, so much, why do you think i always sneak into your bedroom? all the panic attacks? its all because i keep thinking of college without you”
“why did we wait so long? i should have told you when i was 14, fucking hell Tozier always says stupid shit but never the right shit”
“richie stop youre not stupid, I should have told you, i just didnt know how. I know we waited too long but im so happy it happened this way. I dont think it would have worked out if we had told eachother sooner, we were so young. Now that were moving out of this shit hole we get to be ourselves and we can make this work” 
“but youre going to be so far away...”
“ill come visit you and i you can come see me, ill call you every night, this is going to work, i know it is bc its us and i know were meant to be together” 
“promise you wont forget me when im in LA”
“how can I ‘chee, you’re literally all i think about”
“wow okay this is getting really cheesy so can i just add a bit more cheesiness and kiss you at the top of the Ferris wheel?”
“ ugh okay but only since were already here and i dont think i can wait a minute longer”
richie cups eddies face and kisses him passionately 
(ITS A SHITTY ENDING I KNOW I DIDNT KNOW HOW TO END IT IM SORRY IM REALLY NOT MADE FOR WRITING)
this is definitely a story they will share with their kids in the future ❤️ 
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floatingpetals · 6 years
Text
Peace and Quiet?
Pairings: Steve Rogers x Reader
Warnings: Angst-ish, language, the reader makes a poor decision, fluff as well  
Word Count: 5900+ 
Request: “I seriously love your longer one shots! Could you please do a Cap (or Bucky) + reader, where the reader is kinda loud/outgoing because of not wanting to be forgotten or something? And the reader figures they make him uncomfortable and shuts everyone out, leading to him confessing he likes the reader? Fluff please?” @homeybadger
A/N:  Wow so uhh, this has been a request that’s been sitting in my inbox for sooooo looonnng. No seriously, like super long. I feel so bad that it’s taken me just now to get to it. I wanted to do something nice with it, but I just couldn’t get it right, then I forgot it was there and then I remember and scrapped the whole thing. I hope you enjoy this story and I hope the length makes up for it! I did not mean to take so long on this! I hope you all enjoy!! 
**I’m also debating on doing a second part, but it all depends on the feedback I get. So please let me know what you think! ❤
Gifs not mine, credit to the creator!
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“Oh, bad luck. You landed on Boardwalk,” Sam smirked, a giggle beginning to bubble in his chest as the rage that was settling on Y/N’s face across the table. She glared at the double dice, a freaking snake eye, that had been against her the entire game. “And if my math is correct, with my three houses you owe me $1400. And from the looks of your very sad pile, you’ll have to sell everything on top of declaring bankruptcy.”
“I hate this game!” Y/N screamed, throwing down the $300 hundred she had left.
“Hey, don’t hate the game!” Natasha shot back, grinning behind her beer bottle. Y/N shot her glare.
“Oh, shut up! You and Clint have been cheating the entire time and you know it!” she growled. Clint gasped but was cut off by a sharp jab in the ribs by Bucky. He grumbled and pulled out the chance cards he had stashed away, and nudge Natasha to pull out the money she had hidden away. “See! This game sucks!”
“Now, now. No need to go all green on us.” Tony grinned. Bruce made a noise before letting out a puff of air. Irritated with both the game and how smug everyone was acting, Y/N exploded with a primal battle cry.
“Fuck this game! You people are all cheaters!”
Everyone had enough time to grab their drinks off before Y/N flipped the table, the pieces flying everywhere. Bucky and Wanda both doubled over in their seats, howling when Y/N began to scream at Tony, who jumped up and was yelling back at the same volume. Clint and Natasha were grinning like idiots as the mayhem grew. Bruce rolled his eyes when Sam jumped in, normally the tone the room shifted would set him on edge, but this wasn’t unusual. The only person that wasn’t reacting, save for Vision who had no idea why tensions were so high over a silly game, was Steve.
He had decided to sit this game night out. After the Mario Party debacle, he wasn’t ready to jump back in the ring. Thor spun a wheel and tossed a dart to cut someone’s stars in half. He landed on Y/N’s. While she was once in the lead, that cut her stars in half and she was suddenly in last place. That was fine. It was when she was hit by Bowser, who Tony was playing as when they managed to let him loose of his little prison that she flipped her lid. The team got a kick out of her raging at the games, and all banded together to see how quickly she could snap. Steve, however, didn’t see the charm in it.
To put it lightly, Y/N was a lot to handle. She was everywhere all at once to begin with, her voice carrying through walls. There wasn’t a single mean bone in her body, aside from her intense competitive streak. She seemed to win over anybody. Steve still wasn’t sure. He’d admit, she was sweet and everyone else seemed to love her. Steve thought she was cute too, sometimes she would fall asleep on the couch and he’d find himself taking advantage of her stillness to stare. But she never stopped to breathe once it seemed. He couldn’t recall a time where she wasn’t talking loudly about something or practically bouncing off the walls from excitement. She was a lot more than he was used to. Y/N made his head spin. It wasn’t terrible, but it was a bit exhausting after a while around her. It also didn’t help that sometimes her power manifested with her growing emotions. Which is what was happening right now.
“You’re the one who wanted us to play this stupid game!” Tony accused, rolling his eyes.
“Did not! I specifically said that I thought it was a stupid idea because I always end up flipping a table! You’re the one who then said we had to play it since learning that bit of information.” She countered pointing a finger at him. Tony stopped, a sly grin spreading across his face.
“Oh yeah.”
“Ugh!” She grumbled. “You people are so frustrating! Why do you do this to me?!”
“Because it’s fun.” Tony grinned, his eyes flashing with glee. That was the wrong thing to say. Now Y/N really was angry. She grits her teeth and balled her fists at her side. If this was a cartoon, she’d have steam coming out of her ears she was so angry. Unbeknownst to her, her powers started to manifest with her mounting fury, afflicting the others in the room.
Y/N’s power was special and even a bit strange considering how specific it was. Since she could remember, Y/N always had the gift to control the aura around her to suppressed others authority and leadership skills. It was a power that had come handy in her life, but also hindered her more than it helped. She had a rather strong grip on it at all times, but sometimes that control slipped. Tony’s face paled, and everyone else around her started to shift uncomfortably.
“Uh-Y/N.” Wanda reached out, her fingers gently brushing against the back of Y/N’s arm. Wanda flinched, the contact enough to send her the full force of Y/N’s strange power, but she fought to stay strong. Y/N blinked, quickly realizing the shift in the room was because of her. Her shoulder’s dropped and the suffocating aura surrounding her disappeared. The room sighed collectively in relief.
“See. This is why you shouldn’t poke the bear.” Y/N huffed, crossing her arms against her chest. Tony chuckled and shook his head.
“It’s nice to know you’re aware.” Sam let out a laugh as well, grinning widely at her. She grumbled under her breath and turned to sit back in her seat. As she did, she scanned the room and noticed a spot empty. Standing straighter she glanced around the room.
“Hey, where did Steve go?”
The group collectively turned around, just now noticing the empty seat their Captain once took up as well. Bucky frowned and shot a look to Natasha, who seemed on the same page. Slowly, he turned to back to Y/N.
“Uh... Maybe he decided to turn in early.” He tried. The team seemed to take it, albeit skeptically. He had been doing this a lot lately, getting up at disappearing without a word. No one wanted to say it aloud, but they all noticed it happened around the time Y/N came to the team four months ago.
Y/N stilled, her eyes hardening for a split second before they seemed to glaze over. Shaking her head, she heaved a sigh.
“I’m gonna turn in early too. Sorry, this little outburst just took a lot out of me.” She said, stepping over the discarded pieces and was out of the room before anyone could argue. The room had shifted into a subdued atmosphere, everyone thinking the same thing.
“Someone needs to talk to him.” Wanda murmured. Bucky nodded, letting out a sigh.
“I’ll talk to him.” He said. The rest all murmured in agreement, slowly trickling out the room since game night clearly was done for the evening. They could only hope tomorrow would end on a better note.
~~~~~~~
Y/N sat on her bed, clinging to her favorite stuffed animal wondering just where she went wrong. Since she joined the team a few short months ago, she had been trying her best to get close to the rest of her teammates. Naturally, she was a bubbly person. But her gift made it harder for her to get close to anyone. Her parents thought it was odd, the power came from nowhere when she hit the age of three. It took them time to figure out that it wasn’t because she was incredibly intimidating and that she was unintentionally suppressing their confidence level.
They spent years taking her to doctors and specialists that might be able to help her control her powers. It wasn’t without consequences. Because she struggled for so long to control her powers, she spent a lot of her life unintentionally hurting those around her.
Her classmates didn’t know what exactly, but they knew something was wrong with her. She spent the majority of her school years alone in the corner, shunned from taking part of anything in her classes. If anyone tried to give her the benefit of the doubt, something always went wrong. They were terrified of her. The fear turned to indifference and eventually, they paid her no mind. No one wanted her in their lives. But for Y/N, she wanted nothing more than to be accepted and included.
Which might explain why she was the way she was today. It took years to master her control, but she did it. And now that she was an Avenger, she was surrounded by people who were like her. Special and unique. Nowhere else could she be herself as she could here. This was her last chance of being free and she never wanted to be forgotten.
It didn’t take her long to win over the others. They were more than aware of what she could do. Not a one batted an eyelash, no one shrank away in fear they’d be subjected to the smothering fear she could plague them with. If anything, it fascinated them. She was the one who they’d send in to interrogate. Whether on location or in a holding cell, it didn’t matter. Her power was a gift to get the tightest of lips to talk. For the first time in her life, Y/N felt as though she had finally found her calling.  
Y/N was proud of how far she had come. It was years of uphill battles and year left in the shadows. But now, she had it all, friends, her family and a job she loved. All except the acceptance of Steve. He was polite, but he always had an air of discomfort around her. Not with anyone else, just her. Y/N hated to admit it, but it hurt.
Since the day she met him, Y/N fell hard. Who couldn’t though? He was charming, cared for his friends and protective of his family. But for some reason, he just didn’t seem like he enjoyed being around her. Perhaps, she thought, it was something she said to him. She couldn’t recall anything that might set his teeth on edge, but she was at a loss.
Letting out a heavy sigh, Y/N set her stuffed animal down on the bed and swung her legs over the side. She knew she shouldn’t dwell too much on it. He could very well be in a bad mood, and it could confidently only be when she’s in the same room. She snorted. Yeah, that was it.
No, she thought, there was something more about it. Thinking back all the times she noticed he’d got running, realization hit her like a freight train. Every time he ran, it was because of something she did. It was her. A broken sob crept it’s way up her throat. She was the reason, that was the only thing it could be. Steve Rogers, the man who unknowingly held her heart in his hands, was uncomfortable with her. She clenched the sheets of the bed and held back her tears.
Y/N had to change. Her behavior had always been a problem, she knew that. She was so terrified of being left alone and forgotten again, she let her eagerness go too far. Falling back on the bed, she stared at the ceiling and came to a life-altering decision.
~~~~~
“Hey! There you are!” Natasha grinned motioning Y/N over to her mat. “I was wondering if you’d ever show up or if I’d have to go up to pull you out of bed.”
Y/N didn’t respond with her usual quip, just sent her a tight-lipped smile and a soft apology. Natasha blinked her lack of typical response slightly off-putting. Where was her boisterous hello and never-ending pouts of energy? It was one of the fun things about working out with Y/N first thing in the morning. This wasn’t usual of her at all.
“Okay.” Natasha drawled, looking over Y/N to try and decipher her new attitude. “Well, let’s get started on stretching you at, then we’ll get on the mat to spar.”
Y/N wordlessly nodded, moving over to where the yoga mats were laid out waiting for her. Natasha took up the spot next to her, keeping her eyes especially close on Y/N. Aside from her uncharacteristically quiet demeanor, it didn’t seem like there was a hair out of place on her. Although, her movement seemed a bit on the robotic side. Y/N was just going through the motions, getting done with her stretches before wordlessly making her way over to the mats without a glance to Natasha.
Natasha sat up and watched Y/N leave without a word, flabbergasted. Things seemed fine last night, aside from Steve’s abrupt disappearance. As far as Natasha knew, Y/N had gone straight to her room to sleep. And everyone was either here in the gym or Tony and Bruce in the lap. So, what happened to Y/N?
“Hey, you okay?” Natasha asked, catching Y/N’s elbow.
“What do you mean?” Y/N tilted her head to the side, brows furrowed.
“I don’t know,” Natasha said slowly, her gaze narrowing the longer she stared at Y/N. “You just seem… off today.”
“Oh.” She uttered simply. “Yeah. I’m good.”
Pulling her arm away from Natasha, Y/N wandered over to where Sam was now standing with Bucky. Their smile grew at the sight of her, both unaware of Y/N’s new behavior.
“Good morning sunshine!” Sam beamed at her, wrapping her up in a hug. Y/N let out a faint giggle as she hugged him back. Bucky grinned and tilted his head in greeting.
“Morning doll. You sleep okay last night? I didn’t hear your snores through the paper-thin walls last night.”  He teased, nudging her with his shoulder. Y/N huffed but surprisingly bit her tongue.
“Morning Bucky. Yeah, I slept fine.” Y/N shrugged, her face showing little to no emotions. “We ready to get started.”
Both men were stunned, completely thrown off by her sudden change. They shot Natasha a startled look, who could only shrug. She hadn’t the faintest idea either what happened. Y/N wasn’t supplying them with anything either, so all they could do was continue as if nothing was wrong. It didn’t mean they weren’t going to question her later of course.
Getting done with their training was odd, uncomfortable even. Y/N didn’t speak unless spoken to, and even then they were short simple answers. There was none of her usual spunkiness that fought back with each quip Sam sent her way. He even tried to rile her up, he almost pulled out all the stops in a hope to gain a reaction from her. But she didn’t move an inch. Bucky tried to get her to react when he threw a punch harder than necessary her way. They thought they had her, there was a spark of fury in her eyes after she picked herself up, but she quickly wiped the expression on her face.
In the end, Y/N went through the motions, doing what needed to be done without her usual flare. At one point, Wanda had even commented on how unusually quiet she had been. When Y/N left to head to the locker room, she cornered Bucky and Sam.
“What did you two do?” she hissed, jabbing a finger in Sam’s chest. He made a noise in the back of his throat offended at the accusation.
“What the hell makes you think we did anything?” Bucky crossed his arms across his chest. Wanda turned her narrow gaze to Bucky.
“Well. Something happened to her. And I know Natasha wouldn’t do anything to hurt her.”
“Oh and we would?” Sam snapped, shaking his head. “We didn’t do anything to her Wanda, she was like this when she came in.”
“He’s right.” Natasha interrupted, siding with the two men. “She’s been like this all morning. I have no clue why.”
The door the locker room opened, Y/N walking freshly out of the shower and a new change of clothes. She stopped short when she saw all four eyes locked on her across the room. Awkwardly, she waved to them before heading to the exit. Right as she reached it, Steve swung open the door, towel in hand. His steps faltered and a tight-lipped smile passed on her face.
The group couldn’t see her face from where they stood. All they could see was her nod her head once before stepping around Steve with a wide berth to head out the exit. Steve was left stunned. It wasn’t normal to not have his ear talked off when it came to Y/N. Blinking rapidly, he wandered over to Bucky, brows furrowed in confusion.
“What she say?” Wanda asked. Steve’s mouth fell open to answer but couldn’t find the right words.
“Uh… Nothing.” He shrugged.
“And you don’t find that strange?” Wanda asked the group, pinning each of them with her stare. Bucky bristled at the insinuation, his hands balling into fists.
“We never said it wasn’t. We just have no idea what’s wrong with her.” He snapped, stepping up with his back straighter and shoulders set. Wanda glared right back, red seeping into her eyes. Natasha wiggled her way between them, grumbling under her breath.
“Alright. Alright, enough.” She held her hands out to both, pushing them back. “Wanda, we have no clue what happened. Y/N walked in like this. It’s probably nothing and she’s just having an off day. Why don’t we just let whatever happened run its course and see how she is through the rest of the day. No point on biting each other’s heads off when we all did nothing wrong.”
The group grumbled their agreement, still not at ease with how the morning had turned. Steve was just as concerned as the rest. It was odd that she didn’t greet him with her megawatt smile when he walked in the gym, and it was odd how her face seemed to tighten at the sight of him. All he got this morning was a tight-lipped smiled before she ran out the door. What was even odder was the fact that she seemed to give him as much space as possible. As if she didn’t want to get too close.
Steve turned to the door, his brows creased and mouth in a tight line. Something was going on with Y/N, but who was he to worry about her?
~~~~~~~~
Things hadn’t gotten much better with Y/N over the next few days. She had stopped taking part in the loud discussions that always managed to start up in the kitchen or the living room. Her words were short and few in between, but she didn’t seem upset. Just much more subdued than usual. When someone would speak to her, so would she. But it was never the same volume as before.
Sam and Clint both made it their mission to get her to snap. They did everything from switching her sugar to salt in her coffee to going into her room and putting baby powder in her hair dryer. Nothing worked. She would just sigh and turn her back to them, shoulders tense. They thought she’d give up and go back to her old ways, but nothing worked. Not even Natasha could get her to admit what was wrong.
Steve, however, was taking her attitude change harder than the rest. Don’t ask him why he didn’t even know. He thought he’d prefer her at a lower decibel, he assumed she would be more manageable and easier to get along with. But this, this wasn’t what he thought it would be like. To him, it almost seemed creepy. This wasn’t the Y/N he had come to know. The wasn’t the same woman in the slightest. It was as if someone else swapped personalities with her.
Y/N hadn’t shown any improvement in her attitude in the field either. Actually, she seemed to be less productive now. One of the ways she managed to get people to confess was using her power and then releasing it. There she’d act like a good cop, bargaining with them for information and if they didn’t give her what she wanted, she’d switch her powers back on again. Now, she just threw herself into it. There was no build up, no false sense of security.
Just last week they needed information about the next hit Hydra ordered. They apprehended one of the agents and sent in Y/N to get out the information when he wouldn’t fess up. The team assumed the old Y/N would come out now that she was in the field. Instead, she walked in and used the full force of her powers on the man. She was already so powerful, but she had a strong grip on her control. When her power flared to life, even with the thick walls it suffocated everyone.
The agent instantly started sobbing, blubbering like a small child before it grew to mindless screaming for mercy. As it turns out, her power can actually break the human spirit and shatter their sanity into a thousand pieces. It only affected the man in front of her, but it still rattled the rest of the group. Steve was furious.
“What the hell was that?!” He snarled, dragging Y/N into a conference room. She blinked, her face unmoving despite the rage rolling off him in waves. Tony, Fury, and Maria both sat around the meeting table, their mouths pulled into thin lines. She tore her gaze away, refusing to look at anyone in particular as Steve raged on. “You ruined any chances of getting information out of him!”
“Actually Cap, she ruined any chance of him being a normal human being again,” Tony interjected, pulling up a hologram of the doctor's report. The mental status report had been sent in a few moments before Steve dragged her in. The poor man couldn’t remember his name let alone the information they needed.
Y/N pinched the bridge of her nose between her fingers and let out a heavy breath. When she opened them, their faces hadn’t changed a bit. Settling on a point at the table, the brief glimpse she caught of their expressions was burned in her mind. Steve was livid, Tony seemed borderline irritated with a hint of amusement, while Fury and Maria both had a hard expression that told her she was in for it for the next few weeks.
“Look. I’m sorry. I let a few personal matters get to me and clearly, I didn’t handle it well.” She said calmly. Steve flinched at how lifeless she sounded when she mentioned her personal matter and shot Tony a concerned look. Tony tilted his head in acknowledgment, he too aware of the pain she seemed to be suppressing. “I can’t promise it won’t happen again by accident, but I’ll make sure to put more training in to ensure it doesn’t.”
Fury shifted in his seat, folding his hands on his crossed knee. His single eye narrowed as he looked her over and gave her a curt nod.
“See that it doesn’t agent. Dismissed.” He said curtly. Y/N’s eyes fluttered shut for a spilt-second before she jerked her chin and spun at heel to leave the room. After the door shut behind her, Fury grunted.
“What did you people do to her?” He accused, leveling Steve and Tony with a stare. Both men frowned and glanced at the other.
“We didn’t do anything.” Tony snapped, narrowing his eyes. Steve set his hand on the back of a chair and sighed.
“She’s been like this for almost a week now. This is the first time she’s actually admitted something wrong.” Steve replied, his brows furrowing at the tightness in his chest at the idea. It wasn’t like Y/N to keep everything bottle up inside her like this.
“Well, whatever’s wrong with her, fix it,” Fury ordered. “She needs to be in complete control and that can’t happen when her minds on other things.”
Pushing back the chair he stood, Maria right behind him. Not waiting for a reply, he grabbed the folder off the desk and briskly left the room with Maria following. Steve flinched when the door snapped shut behind them. Tony scoffed.
“You can get rid of that sad puppy dog look, Captain.”
Steve frowned, his head snapping up to Tony.
“What’s with the tone, Tony?” He asked. Tony rolled his eyes and leaned back in his seat.
“We all know you don’t like Y/N, you put up a good front though.” He waved a hand absently. “But when you dart out of a room anytime she comes in, or you won’t sit to talk with her when she comes to find you, it gets pretty noticeable.”
Steve stood taller, his mouth drawing into a tight line. He opened his mouth to argue, but it dawned on him. He hadn’t been the most welcoming person to Y/N in the few months she’s been here. Was that really how everyone perceives him? Tony smirked and shook his head.
“To put it simply; you’ve been an ass to our Y/N, and I wouldn’t be surprised if it was something you did.” Groaning softly under his breath, Tony stood and grabbed his tablet. Steve’s face fell, the notion her change might have been because of him made his stomach turn. Tony clapped a hand on his shoulder, his mouth pulled into a tight line. “Like Fury said, we’re going to fix this. But don’t worry. We won’t waste your precious time.”
At that, Tony left Steve alone in the conference room, the sting of his words lingering behind. Steve’s shoulder slumped. Maybe this had been his fault. But when? How? He really didn’t think it would have been that big of a deal to leave early after the game. Maybe he thought wrong and she did take it wrong. That wouldn’t mean this complete 180 though, would it? It wasn’t the first time he escaped a game night gone wrong, and she didn’t seem upset them. Perhaps it was something else. That had to be it. He really hadn’t done anything wrong, at least he didn’t think he did.
“Hey FRIDAY,” Steve called. Immediately, the AI system responded.
“Yes, Captain?”
“Go back to the last game night, the one with monopoly, did anything happen to Y/N between the time I left, and she went to bed?” He asked. Silence met him as the computer searched the data.
“No, it doesn’t seem like anything happened. She never left her room once she entered either.” FRIDAY replied. Steve frowned, even more, confused than before. So if there wasn’t anything that happened to her then what was with change?
Clenching his jaw, Steve knew he needed to get to the bottom of this. Not just as a Captain to his team, but as a way to make up for being such a shitty housemate. And maybe even as a way to start an actual friendship with him. Now that he’s seen this side of her, he realized how judgment and close-minded he was. He needed to find her and talk with her.
~~~~
Y/N had just stripped out of her suit and into her PJs when there was a hesitant knock on the door. She frowned. She wasn’t expecting anyone tonight, especially not after she just got her ass handed to her. Reluctantly she went to open the door and was surprised at the person on the other side.
Steve stood there awkwardly, his hands in his pockets. She blinked and took a step back.
“Uh… hi?” she greeted cautiously.  Steve smiled hesitantly and shifted from foot to foot.
“Hey. Can we talk?”
“W-Why?” She clutched on the handle and shifted behind the door in an attempt to hide behind it. Steve noticed and his smile fell. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.
“I know I’m the last person you want to talk to. I’ve not been the most welcoming and I want to apologize. Can I please come in?” He asked earnestly. Y/N was caught off guard at his sincerity. Nodding numbly, she pulled the door open and let him in her room.
Steve glanced around the room, noticing the number of pictures she had hanging up on her wall, pretty fairy lights cascading down the walls illuminating each photo. Her comforter was a light lilac with stuffed animals on the bed. He eyed the little knickknacks matched the rest of her décor on her desks and shelves adding to the warmth and homey feel her room had. Realization hit him that he really hadn’t taken the time to get the real her.
“Go ahead and have a seat.” Y/N waved to the bed before sitting on the other end. Steve sank into the plush mattress, taking a moment to look over Y/N. She refused to make eye contact, to busy wringing her fingers together to notice him staring. Once again, he was struck by how beautiful she was, and how poorly he handled everything.
“Look Y/N, I don’t know what happened the past few days and why you’re acting different, but somethings changed. We all can see it.” He said. Y/N opened her mouth to argue but thought better of it. Steve continued on. “I don’t know what happened, but it hurts all of us to see you like this. It’s like you’ve lost a huge part of yourself and we’re seeing this empty shell. I mean, Sam and Clint both are losing their minds because what ordinarily would work on getting you riled up is doing nothing. And Bucky’s beside himself, Natasha and Wanda are worried sick, and Tony is pissed because-.” Steve stopped short, his face twisting into a pained expression. “He thinks I’m the reason.”
Y/N tensed, her breath catching in her throat. It was minuscule, but Steve caught it. He sat taller and his stomach sank.
“It is because of me.” He whispered sadly. He tore his eyes away from her to stare blankly at his hands. Y/N closed her eyes but didn’t deny it. “I’m sorry. I know I’ve not been accepting. I didn’t mean to hurt you though.”
Y/N nodded slowly, biting her lower lip as he kept talking.
“Truth is, you intimidate the hell out of me. I’ve never met someone who was so sure of themselves and so incredibly proud about it. You held nothing back and you’re so willing to put your heart on your sleeve, I kind of envy you a little. People loved you right of the bat and your just so sweet inside and out. I mean, you didn’t let anyone tell you to chill out before. Which leaves me to ask, why now? Why did I affect you so much that you changed everything about you?”
That caused Y/N’s face to heat up. No way was she going to admit it aloud! It was already embarrassing enough Steve knew he was a reason why she changed, but for him to know what the full reason was mortified her.
“Y/N.” He gently took her hand in his, the corners of his lips turned up. “You don’t have to tell me. I just want you to know that no matter what you think, I don’t hate you. I never did. Matter of fact, I really like you. More than I thought. It didn’t hit me how much I’d come to admire and appreciate your take on life until now. I miss hearing you bicker with Tony about the best brew coffee first thing in the morning or when you and Bucky gang up on Sam. I know Natasha and Wanda miss having their best friend. And game nights will never be the same without you threatening and then following through with flipping a table.”
Y/N giggled and ducked her chin. His grin grew, finally seeing a glimmer of her former self.
“I’m not asking you to forgive me for how I’ve behaved. I can only ask you’ll give me a chance to make up for being such a shitty person.” He grinned.
“Language, Captain.” Y/N teased.
“Is that ever going to die?” Steve groaned and rolled his eyes. “Wait you weren’t even there!”
“I know but hate to break it to you, it’s here for the long haul.” Y/N giggled and shook her head. Steve’s laughter joined hers, his smile stretching from ear to ear. He titled his head to the side after a beat before letting out a sigh.
“So, are you going to be okay?” He asked hopefully. Y/N let out a deep breath, for the first time all week feeling lighter. She was so drained from keeping her emotions in check, it took every ounce of her strength not to react to the attempts at making her snap. She knew it was ridiculous trying to change, but she really thought it was for the better. Turns out, it not only damaged her but everyone she loved.
“Yeah. I think I’ll be okay.” She spoke confidently. Steve patted her thigh and quickly stood.
“Good, because Tony discovered some new game called The Jackbox Party Pack or something along those lines.” He extended a hand and waited for her to take it.
“Wait, right now?” She asked surprised. He nodded and took her hand.
“Yup. Come on. Team bonding time.”
Y/N laughed, letting him pull her up and drag her out of the room. He looked at her over his shoulder, his breath catching in her throat at the way her face lit up from her grin. Turning back quickly, he hoped she didn’t notice the way his ears turned pink. He was an idiot for not taking the time to get to know her. He wasn’t going to ruin his chance with her a second time. Maybe it wasn’t going to easy, but for Y/N he knew it would be worth it.
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jayyrayy90 · 4 years
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I'm so angry and disappointed. I'm so frustrated with my own self too bc no matter how hard I try I can't even force myself to hate you. I have numerous reasons to hate u but I can't. I guess I'll never be able to.
What's so fucked up to me is how you can just erase me like I'm nobody to you. How you can flip a switch in your brain and I've suddenly become your enemy. How you so easily can make so many promises to me, how you can look me right in my eyes and lie to my face so easily, and how you act like you've done absolutely nothing to me or act as if the things you done were something insignificant and dumb and I'm just being overdramatic about them. Like the shit you did shouldn't matter just bc of shit i did 5 years ago or simply bc u hated me so those things were justified.
To this very day you have no respect for me and treat me as if i meant absolutely nothing to u. I don't think you will ever understand how bad that hurts me Jasmine. You, of all people in this entire world, broke me down piece by tiny piece until there was nothing left of me. You drained me of my last bit of sanity, hope for love, and I will never let another human being get close to me again as long as I'm here on this earth. You took all of that away from me so effortlessly, carelessly, and easily. I never meant anything to you and I wish like hell I knew exactly what made u hate me so much that you'd even consider doing the things you've done to me.
In some sick and cruel way, I believe u got some kind of enjoyment out of watching me fall apart. You enjoyed knowing you could go do whatever you want and come back to me whenever you got ready bc like a dummy I'd always be there waiting. I was so stupid and foolish to even think any of your promises were sincere. What made me look even dumber was the fact that I believed you and in you. I had faith in you. I was so gullible and blinded to believe that the person you used to be was still somewhere inside of you. That loving, honest, sincere, faithful, and LOYAL person u used to be had been dead and gone years ago and you kept showing/proving that to me. Yet i kept fighting to bring her back. I kept praying, hoping, and wishing that someday I'd get my baby lovey bear back. I failed to even try and believe the things you were so effortlessly trying to tell me with your actions. You've been trying to tell me that you didn't love me anymore for so many years. I was trying so hard to be/say/do everything you wanted just to make you love me. I pushed the things you were doing to me so far in the back of my mind that i allowed myself to become blinded. I just kept telling myself that you were lost and didn't know what u were doing at the time, every time I would think about the things you did.
Truth is, you knew exactly what you were doing. You knew exactly what risks u were taking. U knew exactly what u were jeopardizing. You knew. Yet you still did it anyway. You didn't care and still don't about what happens to me or my life. You have no idea the amount of pain that causes me. Its honestly like I'm loving the shadow of a person who never existed.
The way you left me, I would've never left you like that, even if i did hate you. All those years we spent together and you just leave me like that knowing I was broke. I would've never in a million years plus some, NEVER left you like that. I would've bet my entire life that you wouldn't have ever done that to me.
When you came back in my life, the one thing you would always say was, "The way I left you last time was fucked up and I know it. I got my karma. I'd never leave you like that again." Something similar to that anyway. But guess what, you left me even worse than you did the first time Jasmine. And u don't even care. How can you not even care?!! I have no words to even describe the pain. Words couldn't even come close..
In the beginning i wasn't much of the person I should have been. I had issues and addictions. I wasnt really worth your time. I put you through hell and for that I will forever be sorry. If im being honest you terrified me, no one had ever saw me the way you did. No one had ever wanted me the way you did. No one had ever made me feel the way you did. I had walls that had always kept me safe and kept me braced from the world but you... you somehow made them fall over time with your undying love for me, even when i was awful. You saw me through the worst times of my life. If not for you i wouldnt be here today. you saved me.
To me, we had a beautiful bond and an amazing love. You were everything i ever wanted and i couldn't believe you were mine. Maybe looking back that is where the trouble started...I had such guilt for who i was and how i treated you at the start and i felt so lucky to have you that i started to compromise on the things that were fundamental to me. I started to give way more then i received and i started to let you think things were okay that honestly weren't. I let you start to walk all over me and looking back maybe if i had stood up for myself then, instead of just feeling like i owed it to you for sticking with me then maybe things would be different today..
I stood by you, i did any and everything for you. I let you take out your anger on me. I would pretend to sleep until i knew you were asleep so i could just make sure you were okay. I was watching you hurt in a way i couldnt fix. I didnt know how to help, so i decided to just be everything and anything you needed. I put my entire life aside and made you my priority, my world. I dont regret it, you needed me and i was there without question.
This is where it started to go downwhill, you were changing into someone i didnt even recognize and the worst part is you couldn't even help it. Our life had become one full of fights and make ups only to fight again shortly after. You were pushing me away and i didnt know why. I dont even think you knew why, so i took all the hateful words, the poor treatment, the lack of time invested and the lack of love being shown and made it into excuses for you because of what you were dealing with. Looking back i dont think this helped you the way i thought it did. It taught you that i was always going to take it. I was going to let you walk all over me and i was going to apologize when i didnt do anything wrong simply to avoid a fight. It didnt help, you left me in such an agonizing way. i was shattered, my entire life had just fallen apart and i was lost. You were my world and you were just gone!!
I was your friend. I was your family. I was your lover. You are a person that could have been any number of things to me. Heartbreak plays no favorites when it chooses people in life to let you down. I really always had faith in you. I trusted you and the promises that you made to me. I believed in your aspirations and disregarded your ambiguity. I let you in, against my best wishes. I relentlessly defended you. I saw the beautiful parts of who you were. I made plans with you and kept them in my head like a guaranteed magnificent destination.  I loved you. I gave you all that I had and now I am left feeling empty and cheated. But do you know what the strangest and most unbelievably frustrating part of all of this is? I forgive you.
Your betrayal shook my foundation. Not just the foundation of us, but the foundation of everything I thought. All that I believed about love was up in the air. I wasn’t sure about anything. It wasn’t just about you. I was now questioning everything.
The truth is, you didn't really love me. Maybe you loved the idea of me. Maybe you loved having me around because I would have done anything for you, but if you really loved me, you wouldn't have destroyed me the way you did. That's not love.
I loved you so much that I lost sight in everything else, especially myself.  I glued myself to you so tightly because I was so terrified of losing you. Lets be honest though, you were never really mine to lose, were you?
You always treated me so coldly, and I couldn't ever understand why when all I ever did was love you. Sometimes the harsh words you used still stay inside of my head.
I was never good enough, or at least that is how you would treat me. I was always wrong, I was the crazy one after the break up, it was never you. It was always me. You were poison to my heart, and I wanted so badly to save you, but I couldn't. You destroyed me mentally and emotionally to the point where I can’t even feel emotions anymore. To the point where I am literally completely numb to feeling anything or having real true emotions towards anyone or anything.
When I met you, I knew. I knew in some way, shape, or form, you would hold incredible significance to my life. I knew you were going to be a constant. I knew you would change me.
Yes, we had our disagreements, but we always made our way back to each other. I always felt you in my heart, there was nothing you could do to make me that upset for long. I already needed you. I knew, the second I held you close to me, I knew, that this was it for me. You were it. All I wanted, and all I would ever need.
You have issues, my love. Internal struggles with yourself, external issues with your family and others around you ­and it weighs you down. I never have held that against you. But the struggles you faced made it impossible for you to love me the way you wanted to, the way I needed you to. Still, I held on, praying you would stay with me, praying you would get better. Through all the fights, the petty disagreements, and the abuse, I stayed. Why?
I loved you blindly of course. I loved you without restrictions, and without caution. I loved you wildly. In my head, I knew you could be better. I wanted to see that happen for you. I wanted to help you get to where you should be. I believed in you. I loved you so deeply, I would have, and did do, anything on Earth for you.
The truth is, you are not who I once loved. That person is gone. That person took some of the deepest parts of myself with them. I will always love them.
Had you tried for me, love, had you tried for you, we would have been in love forever. But you didn’t, and sitting around waiting for you only made things harder on me. I’ve accepted the fact that the you I once knew is gone.
I didn’t want to move on from you. I hoped in the deepest cell of my heart that you would come back and sweep me up and make things better. But eventually, I chose to move on. I chose to heal myself. I chose to fix what you shattered. It didn’t come easily, and nearly everyday is a struggle… but I have to. You are the love of my life, but you are long gone now...
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nie7027 · 5 years
Text
Super5 headcanons pt 2
Edit:    Part 1    Part 2     Part 3    Part 4   Part 5
Minegishi can only stare
"Where the fuck have you been?"
"What do you care?"
"Why are you here?"
"I was bored"
Shimazaki could be here to kill him for betraying him but Minegishi is too tired for this and there are dishes to wash.
In the time it takes him to do the dishes and calm down his plants, shimazaki falls asleep so he goes to the living to room to get a better look at the man
Shimazaki looks almost the same except maybe a bit thinner and with possible hollower eyes. The crooked nose is definitely new. A crooked nose?? Did he broke his nose at some point?? He is even wearing the same clothes as last time. His precious jacket ripped at the edges. Scorching marks and bullet holes here and there.
With a long sigh he takes out his phone, turns off the volume and opens the super3 chat(the too spicy for Seris innocent eyes). The messages start to come in rapidly
Minegishi: Shimazaki is back
Hatori: what
Hatori: what do you mean Shimazaki is back???
Shibata: how did he find us? Did he try to fight you?
Minegishi: i mean he is asleep on my couch. No, he just ate all of my cereal.
Shibata: what the fuck?
Hatori: what the fuck?
Minegishi what the fuck indeed
Shibata: did he say what he wants? Do you know why is he here?
Minegishi: He didnt talk and I dont know
Hatori: what do we do?
Minegishi:
Minegishi: i dont know.
Minesishi: i cant make any calls or else he could wake up and seri isnt logged in so can someone call him and tell him whats going so they can take the necessary precautions
Shibata: im on it
Shibata: hatori is freaking out in his room anyway. I think he is begginin to build a security system.
Minegishi: ...
Shibata: yeah yeah ill go calm him after i talk with Seri.
Minegishi stares at his phones and then at the man on his couch, he cant blame them. Shimazaki is a really dangerous person and they dont know what he is doing here. Minegishi just wanted to do the dishes, water his plants and go to sleep.
The super5 will never know but Shimazaki wasnt lying per se. He WAS bored.
After he ran away from the fight against seasoning city espers he hid here and there taking his sweet time at recovering and once he did(his nose still felt strange but he ignored it) he started to look at what to do.
He joined many criminal organizations, afterall a teletransporter was very valued in the underworld. But not matter how petty or big the crime was, he got bored. So he ended leaving all of them. he even left some in the middle of a important job, not caring whether his employers got caught or not( it was their fault for being stupid and not having a backup plan anyway)
After some months of this he realized he was bored of normal criminals. He was bored of normal persons with narrowed mindsets who conformed with just comitting stupid crimes. HE HAD BEEN PART OF A PLAN TO TAKE THE WORLD and now he was trafficking some drug?? Lame.
Most of all he missed the thrilling sensation of being surrounded with persons that could actually put a fight against him. So he searched for something alike to claw, an organization of espers.
His search turned out fruitless and he decided then he should return to where all started. Claw. It was time to pay a visit to his expartners.
It took him just a week to locate them. It would have took him just a day but he was finally having some fun and god he was gonna drag it all he could.
So here he was in a tiny empty apartment, the crazy amount of plants with a certain aura being the only indication that it belonged to Minegishi...WHERE THE HELL WAS HE? Oh well. He had been waiting for a year. He could wait a little more. In any case in his hurry to get here he forgot to eat and he could hear a fridge running.
Shimazaki, still on the sofa, wakes up the next day at the sound of a blender. He is being held in place, bounded by lots and lots of thick green vines and sturdy roots from which he easily frees himself. The moment he does so the noise at the kitchen stops and an annoyed minegishi steps out. Shimazaki can feel him tensing, preparing for an attack and that makes him smirk .
Until an alarm clock goes off that makes Minegishi mutter a curse
"If you are gonna do something do it now. I have better things to do and i have to go now"
"Better things to do?? What can possibly be better than this??"
"I have work so if you are gonna just stand there and smirk be my guest"
"Work?"
"Yeah, work. you know? That thing you do for a living and that contributes to society? Fuck it.You probably dont. Anyway i gotta go" Turning his back on shimazaki is probably the worst idea but he couldnt sleep at all, he is late and he hasnt had breakfast so if shimazaki wants to kill him he will gladly accept it.
He miraculously manages to exit his apartment and make it to his work. He only hopes theres an apartment to come back later.
Shimazaki can only stare increduously to where minegishis used to stand. 'Work'? 'Contribute to society'? THE FUCK WAS HE BABBLING ABOUT this was completely unexpected and he doesnt know what to do until he notices theres a smell coming from the kitchen where Minegishi left his untouched breakfast. Well he supposes he can muse how to proceed over breakfast.
Hatori isnt allowed to use his phone at work but he is too anxious to care and he has powers to do it without anybody noticing
Spicy3 chat
Hatori: how did it went?
Minegishi: ...well...i guess?? I am alive and my flat was still in one piece last time i saw it
Hatori: he didnt try anything?
Minegishi: he woke up when it was time for me to go...so i just kinda left
Shibata: you just left? He didnt try to stop you???
Minegishi: no
Minegishi:but i think...
Hatori: WHAT
Shibata:what
Minegishi: i think he is...tired.
Minegishi: I bound him while he was sleeping and he never woke up nlr stirred. He didnt notice.
Hatori: weird
Minegishi: i know. Worst of all i couldnt eat and i have 2 hours more left until my break.
Shibata: i can pass on my way to gym and sneak you something
Minegishi: thanks
Hatori: if you want you can hang in our apartment for the time being. We still need to know what he wants
Shibata: yeah, and if he shows up we can fight him together💪
Minegishi: if Seri asks, everything is under control
It takes a week for Shimazaki to finally show up. Meanwhile Minegishi has to use Hatoris and Shibatas washing machine to wash his work uniform daily(it can get very dirty when you work in a flower shop) because his other sets of uniform are back at his place trapped with Shimazaki. So is his money and he has to lend some from Hatoris and shibatas and ask his boss for an advencement in his payment. He hates Shimazaki more now.
They cant do anything but stare blankly when he suddenly shows up in the middle of the living room where they were eating pizza holding an empty box of cereal and says "Theres no more food back there and i want more of these but i cant see how they are called" while pointing at the box.
Sometimes its very easy to forget he is actually blind. Hatori weakly says the name of the branch of cereal he is holding and Shimazaki dissapears again before anybody can say anything.
"Did everybody saw what i just saw right??what the fuck? What the fuck?" shibata exclaims
"...my food"minegishi laments
Its not until an hour of wondering what was that and wracking their brain for an asnwer after that shimazaki returns, a brand new box of the cereal in his hands. He picks up a slice of the forgotten pizza and sits besides Shitaba.
"You didnt pay for that did you?" asks Shitaba
Shimazaki just turns around and stares st him with his hauntingly empty eyes "you too?"
"PAY? WORK? CONTRIBUTE TO SOCIETY? THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ALL OF YOU"
"Weve changed"
"Yeah we have jobs and stuff, we help peopl"
"YOU HAVE SUPERPOWERS! WHY ARE YOU EVEN WORKING?"
"TO NOT PARASITE ON OTHERS HARD WORK LIKE SOME PEOPLE IN HERE" finally explodes Minegishi
The man frowns and rapidly done with the conversation teleports away.
Minegishi finally returns to his place, his web of plants telling him Shimazaki isnt there anymore. Re stashing his fridge and cabinet is a pain in the ass.
Shimazakis plan had been to either find his expartners and form something alike to Claw with them or just antagonize them until he gets the fight he so much craves. None of that has happened because all of them had turned to a bunch of weakling pussies and he cant even find Serizawa.
He could still try to fight them but he bitterly realizes he wont get any satisfaction of beating them if they keep acting like that, restraining themselves and trying to be civil as if they werent the same persons that destroyed this very city a year ago. It would be like punching flowers!
The point was to get rid of his boredness and now he is just angry!
He needs them to drop the act.
Thats when a plan starts to form in his head and he smirks. He is going to show them what they are missing on.
Thats how he finds himself back in minegishis apartment.
"Im just saying you could probably grow tons of weed, good quality of course. And i take care of the transport i know a bunch of people-"
"Weed? Are you serious? Is this why you came back? To start a drug trafficking bussines?"
"Im just saying with my teletransporting abilities and yourplant thing we could save lots of money in transport and become richer than-"
"No"
"AREN YOU TIRED OF THIS? OF SHITTY CUSTOMERS GETTING YOU IN TROUBLE JUST BECAUSE THEY DONT KNOW RAINBOW ROSES DONT NATURALLY EXIST?"
"WHERE YOU SPYING ME AT WORK?"
"MAYBE SO"
"DONT DO IT AND STOP EATING ALL MY FOOD"
He then tries with shibata, approaching him during one of his morning running routines. Teletransporting every 2 meters at his side while he keeps running clearly ignoring him
"With your force, not that i need it, we could terrorize all the bussines of a whole prefecture and force them to pay for protection. We win, they win"
"Not interested"
"Why not?! It would be so easy"
"I dont want to"
"Could you stop running? This is important"
"No thanks"
"You arent even listening!"
"Good"
He finally tries with Hatori thinking he would be the easiest of them
"You hack the system and we force all those politicians to pay us to not release all their dirty secrets"
"I am busy"
"No you are not. You are playing mario kart. I can hear Yoshi"
"Ive changed"
"Have you? Really???" at this point Shimazaki raises an eyebrow, he is so done and he wont keeo with this bullshit "because everywhere i have been, and i have been everywhere, the interpol, cia, you name it HAS BEEN AFTER ME whereas you three can waltz into a store like nobodys bussiness. WE COMMITED THE SAME CRIME. WE DESTROYED THIS CITY so how come im the only one being persecuted? Huh? You think I DONT KNOW WHAT YOU DID"
Hatori pauses the game and glares at him. Good, he is finally getting a reaction.
" i did what had to be done and i wont let YOU of all people tell me-"
"Me? Of all people? You believe yourself so grand and high when you are nothing but THE SAME AS ME" immediately shimazaki feels hatoris aura flare. what must have been his console shifting and changing into something new. Whatever it is, he is sure he can block it.
"Really? You are gonna fight me? I want to see you-" a horrible sound like nothing he had ever heard before pierces his ears making him howl in pain and he teleports away.
After that accident shimazaki never mentions Hatoris dirty secret again but that doesnt stop him from keep trying to get them to commit felonies again.
He thinks he once "saw" Serizawa on the street but his aura was quickly eaten by the aura of the person by his side. He didnt stayed to find out and quickly teleported away.
And this goes like this for 3 months, his proposals becoming more and more desesperate until one day he just... gives up.
Shimazaki should have left or killed them months ago but for some reason he prefers to stay here. He wont admit it but hes having more fun living on their couches annoying them than what he would have had they accepted his proposals.
He takes special delight in annoying them when they had hard days. (Minegishi comes home covered in something stinky and almost strangles shimazaki with his own hands after he comments this wouldnt have happened if he had accepted to traffick weed in a yacht with him)
...besides he has noticed that now in both apartments there is always a box of his favourite cereal (hatori sweared it was the cereal what placated Shimazaki given how docile he was whenever he was seen eating it, shibata and minegishi just liked it)
The super3 cant believe it themselves but they have now gotten used to the constant presence of Shimazaki in their lives (which isnt surprising given they spent at least 3 years together).
Well constant is a way to put it because the man still has the habit of dissapearing 3-5 days every once in a while and reappearing like nothing happened
But they know this cant keep going like this and thats how minegishi finds himself texting the super3 chat one day he comes to an empty apartment
Minegishi: is shimazaki there?
Hatori: yeah, hes playing smash with shitaba
Minegishi: playing smash??
Hatori: its seems he learned the patron of my movements by observing me and now hes kicking Shitabas ass as princess peach
Minegishi: ?
Hatori: we told him he was playing bowser
Minegishi: whatever, tell him to bring his ass back. I need to go grocery shopping and i need his help
"Why would i help you grocery shopping?" says shimazaki suddenly to his right
At the same his phone sounds 2 times
Shibata: hatori said something to him and he just teleported
Shibata: is safe to assume he is with you?
Minegishi: yea, im taking charge from here
"Im teaching you to do grocery shopping"
"I dont need you to teach me shit"
" yes, you do if you want to keep eating that cereal you like and that you finished this morning"
Shimazaki raises his eyebrow, teleports and after 5 min returns with 5 boxes of the damn cereal in his arms
"There. Its done"
"DID YOU JUST ROBBED THEM? YOU CANT KEEP DOING THIS"
"WHY NOT? ITS EASIER"
"THATS NOT THE POINT"Minegishi stops, breathes amd tries again "Shimazaki you cant keep doing this and i dont mean just the whole robbing, i mean i dotn know what you do when you dissapear for days but when you are here you just eat our food, wait for us to come home from work and then annoy us?"
"So? I can do whatever i want"
"Do you realize how pathethic it sounds?Is this really all you want to do? Do you even know what you want to do?"
Shimazaki doesnt wanna hear anymore of that and teleports
He ends teleporting to a random alley where he passes the night
The next days his mood isnt any better and he spends them sleeping, terrorizing random deliquents he finds in his way and kicking bags of trash until one day of the "bags" lets out a yelp.
Its shibata who finds him some days later during one of his running routines when he follows the sound of a hurt dog
Expecting to see a bunch of nasty kids terrorizing a poor animal he steps up to confront them only to find his missing "friend" glaring at poor dog and screaming "STOP COMPLAINING ITS YOUR FAULT FOR NOT MOVING I DIDNT EVEN KICK YOU THAT HARD"
He texts a quickl "Found him" to the group chat and marches up to him
"You shouldnt be kicking random things in the first place"
"Get lost"
" are you sure you didnt kick him hard? He is limping and we both know your kicks arent exactly soft"
"If i had wanted, a limp would be the least of its problems" still he makes a face as if he isnt sure
With a sigh Shibata carefully picks up the dog and motions to shimazaki "theres a vet nearby. You kicked him so you own him that at least. Dont worry ill pay" he doesnt wait for Shimazakis response and walks, relief overflowing him once he hears footsteps behind him
The consult is quick and the vet gleefully hands shimazaki "his" dog while she explains to shibata the treatment they should follow the next three months
Shimazaki...had never in his life pet a dog, much less carried one. His fur feels dirty and is tangled everywhere but the vet said it just needs a bath. It is warm and he can feel and hear his steady breaths. His mental eye allows him to perceive the flowing of his blood, the currents in his brain, the beating of his heart...all what makes a living being held in his arms. Things he has always perceived but never payed attention. The fact that the dog starts to lick his hands doesnt go unnoticed and he feels strangely calm. His grip tightening.
They are about to exit the clinic, shibata saying his last thanks when a woman and a girl enter. That very moment the dog starts to squirm in his embrace. And he doesnt know what to do
"Hey are you alright? I can hold it if you want" asks shibata noticing his turmoil
" yeah, its just the stupid dog WHO HAS FORGOTTEN HE CANT WALK"
The girls who shibata notices has red puffy narrows her eyes and yells "DONT CALL HIM STUPID YOU ARE THE STUPID" before turning to look at shimazaki, whatever she was going to say next is forgotten as she stares with wide eyes.
Both the moms and shimazakis replies are drowned by the girl scream of "UESAMA! MOM ITS HIM ITS MY DOG"
For some reason shimazaki feels his blood run cold and lifts up the dog even more when the girl comes clashing at his legs desesperately trying to grab her dog
Shibata who noticed shimazakis earlier expression cant believe what hes seeing (please god, please tell me he isnt gonna fight a girl over a dog) when the vet decides to come out to see what is happening
"Im sorry, my little girl believes those boys over there have Uesama"
"ITS HIM"
"Uesama?..." the vet stares some seconds in confusion before her eyes grow wider "Oh how didnt i notice it before! Im sorry sirs but it seems you have found this little girls dogs" the vets looks expectantly at shimazaki
Shimazaki who has been holding a very squirming dog and listening to the screams of a girls is starting to get very annoyed. The tempation to teleport away with the dog too big to ignore. Hes about to do it when he hears the dog crying again.
With a huff he hands it to the very thankful mother and exits the clinic as quickly as he can.
Shibata follows suit "I saw your face before they arrived. I can tell what you did"
"Shut up"
The walk home is strangely quiet but at least he is back.
The joke on the spicy chat is that the super 3 are dumb and believe they are protecting oh so pure Seri when in reality they just share dumb penis jokes while Seri is actually riding Reigens dick.
And yes as his last crime Hatori threatened with realeasing all the state secrets of all the goverments and provoking a worldwide crisis if they didnt allow them to try to live normal lives
I just noticed this is more of a fanfic than a list of headcanons now but meh. What i wanted to actually be part 2 is gonna be part 3? 4? I didnt even get to write the prank the super5 were gonna pull on shimazaki but now you have something to look up next time.
Im not that happy with how the second half turned out but maybe im just tired.
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rogerina-yee-haw · 6 years
Text
“at least I’m one”
sd!gwilym lee x reader
chapter 5: “- the anticipated  sweetness”
[the goodbye] [the sadness & tenderness] [the broken rules and true affection] [the pain and eternal bliss]
summary: you and gwil met ten months ago; and he offered you to be his sugar baby almost immediately. you agreed at that exact moment, not knowing where it would get you.
warnings: smut, FLUFF!!, typos, grammar errors (as usual lmao)
a/n: Alice won’t show up in this chapter, sorry. it was too sweet to ruin it with her presence. next chapter is the last one!!!! sorry if this one is too bad!!!!
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                                                    September.
“Five hundred pounds?” you sighed as you looked at the price. “Even my life costs less than this!”
This was a chic Versace dress you found at that one posh shop. You didn’t even know how you got there – you were just wandering across the mall; the next thing you knew – you were looking at the pretty but very expensive pieces of fabric.
You could afford this dress only if you worked with no sleep, days off and rest. Shit, you could afford a plain tee-shirt in this shop if you worked yourself to death for six months!
“Guess I’ll die as a poor bitch”, you thought to yourself. You still couldn’t stop looking at this dress; it was everything you ever looked in an evening gown; it was long with a side slit – just to expose your leg a bit; the long sleeves would cover your arms, and the lack of fabric on the back of the dress would give everyone a hell of impression. “It wouldn’t fit me perfectly; must lose weight before even thinking about buying it”.
“I can’t agree with that”.
You flinched at a sudden violation of your thinking process; you already wanted to step away and ignore the man who interrupted your thoughts when you looked at him.
And – oh Lord – he was gorgeous.
Tall, handsome as the Devil himself, in a visibly expensive suit and a smug grin on his face – this man was everything you’ve ever wanted but never had. You opened your mouth, trying to say something, but only gasped – he was too beautiful and rich for you to even try. “Mum was right when she said my shyness will be the death of me”.
“What to be shy about?” he raised his eyebrows; you frowned before you realized.
“Did I just say that out loud?” you quavered; he let out a laugh and looked at you again.
“I’m pretty sure you did; I wouldn’t be speaking to you if I didn’t hear you talking to yourself”.
You covered your face with your hands; you had never felt that ashamed of yourself. You were talking to yourself in a posh shop and this handsome man saw and heard you doing it? “I’m a disaster”, you mumbled. “Sorry you had to witness that”, you said, still covering your face.
“It’s alright. I talk to myself too occasionally”.
You finally were able to raise your head; so you looked at him suspiciously. Really? This fucking Adonis? Talking to himself sometimes? “That is hardly believable”.
“You have quite an opinion of me for the person whom I’ve just met”. Judging by the smile on his face you realized that you – again – expressed your thoughts about him being the Adonis out loud.
You looked down and gripped your hands into you handbag. “I guess being an embarrassment is my life goal”. You couldn’t bear looking at him; finally, you had the chance to hit it off with a handsome dude when you successfully blew it.
Well, you thought you blew it.
“Don’t apologize; it wasn’t embarrassing at all”.
You furrowed your brows and glanced at him. “Really? Not at all?”
He grinned and looked back at you. “Maybe a bit, but it was alright”.
You rolled your eyes at his words; this conversation wasn’t going anywhere further. At least, not with you. That blonde with a short red dress on could certainly get it with this pretty dude. Not you, in your high-waisted jeans and old hoodie with the Avengers logo on it. You didn’t even want to get started on your mum’s sneakers you had been wearing for a couple of years now.
You mum, by the way, always said that your insecurity was keeping you from all the good things in life. And even now, when this mysterious man was certainly interested in you – you didn’t see it. You preferred to drown in your doubt and insecurity. It was easier for you to shield yourself from the world.
“I’m Gwilym, by the way”.
You looked at his hand that he reached out for you; you were attentively examining his palm and fingers. “You know what they say about men with big hands”, Billy’s was echoing in your head, as you subconsciously bit you lip. Gwil suddenly felt really tight in his pants.
“I assume you also have a name”. You were out of your thinking process once again; you looked at him quickly.
“Y/N”, you responded softly as you shook his hand. You felt electricity travelling through your body; your ears were burning suddenly and your palms were sweating. What the fuck was that? “Really nice to meet you”.
He nodded, silently agreeing with you; “You know what they say about men with big hands…”
You rolled your eyes one more time, trying to make this fucker’s voice inside your head shut up. You were so invested in your thoughts that you didn’t even notice how lustfully Gwilym looked at you. He wanted to pull you to the closest dressing room and fuck the hell out of you. You were so incredibly beautiful and hot – and Gwil really had to restrain himself from taking you right then and there. Right in the middle of that shop, maybe.
“Do you mind going to dinner with me tonight?”
His voice wasn’t asking, it was demanding. You suddenly felt weak in your knees under his gaze; you could have melted as the snow under the sun just 'cause this man was looking at you like that. And that reminded you that you hadn’t been with a guy for a while.
“No, I don’t. I don’t mind at all”.
“Good”. He looked as if that was exactly what he expected to hear. “D’you mind giving me your address?”
Oh, you didn’t mind. You also didn’t mind if he would just fuck you in the nearest restroom.
But you were too shy to suggest such the idea.
“Will eight o’clock be alright?”
“Sure”.
You refused when he suggested driving you home; you lied about having to meet your friend so that you wouldn’t spend some alone time with him. “Gwilym”, you thought while waiting for the bus. “Such a pretty name”.
                                     ╰╮✾╭╯✯╰╮✾╭╯
You wake up because you dream is suddenly over – but not like there was anything more of interest during your first date. Just pure primal attraction that ended up with you being fingered by Gwilym in the elevator. It was pretty crazy for you as you have never been a person who would hook up on the first date, but Gwil turned you on so much that you couldn’t handle it. Now you’re happy all of it happened. Now you’re with the man of your dreams.
The sun shines through the curtains of the hotel room window, and you wince because of its brightness. You stretch a bit, trying to wake yourself up, and rub the sleep from your eyes.
“You look like an angel”.
Your gaze falls on Gwil; he leans to the bedroom doorway, a soft smile on his lips. You grin back at him and sit up on the bed, covering your bare chest with the blanket. “You look good too”, you say, observing him. He’s already in a suit, just without a jacket; his hands are in his pockets and he looks so damn hot. “Are you leaving?”
He shakes his head. “Just came back”. Gwil slowly makes his way to the bed and crawls right next to you. “It’s midday already, baby”, he says, reaching to your forehead and kissing it. “We’ve got exactly twenty-four hours before going home”.
“Have you decided what you’re gonna do?” you put your hand on his cheek and he leans into your touch. “That’s a good opportunity, you know”, Gwil chuckles and then sighs deeply.
“A good opportunity but a hard decision to make”, he mutters and kisses you delicately. “I might lose everything if I do it”, his voice is quiet and he looks at you, a glimpse of fear and hopelessness in his eyes. You cup his cheeks and make him look you directly in the eyes.
“Is money worth staying on the job that you hate? Is it worth wasting your time on the place where the boss is a total arsehole to you?” he shakes his head. “Then quit it. Take Ryan and Jack’s offer”.
“I won’t be a vice-president in their company”, he says, “I won’t have this much money if I agree. This is not what you signed-”.
“I don’t care”, you whisper and press your forehead to his. “I’m not with you because you’re rich. Sure, I love expensive gifts”, you both chuckle, “but I can live without them as long as I’m with you. I want you to be happy, Gwil”, you say breathlessly as his hands tighten their grip in your waist, “and I know this new job will make you happy. You won’t hate your boss, at least”, you add and he smiles, leaning closer to you, so that your foreheads are pressed together.
“Bosses, to be correct’, he replies; Gwil leaves a trail of kisses on your jaw. “And I’ve been hating them since we met”, you smile. “Don’t think it’s a good idea to work on my friends who ruined my deal on purpose”.
“Baby, they did it to get you here”, you answer, “to talk to you without your boss interrupting”.
“Yeah, this old bastard left the same day that we arrived on”, he mutters, sucking a hickey into your neck, “doesn’t know shit about his own fucking company”, you let out a gasp, when Gwil’s lips get to that sweet spot, right under your earlobe. You squeeze his shoulders lightly, and the blanket falls from your chest, exposing your breasts. “Acts like he’s the smartest”, Gwil covers your neck with love bites, “when in reality he’s too stupid to even make himself a cup of tea”.
“I guess talking about your boss turns you on”, you swallow hard and Gwilym pulls off of your neck and looks at you in confusion. “You got quite hard while talking about him”, you raise your eyebrow and palm him through his pants. He moans at the sensation of your touch. “Wish I could turn you on so quickly as old Smithers does…” you sigh dramatically and Gwil rolls his eyes, smiling at you.
“You little minx”, his lips are on yours the second he lays you down, flat on the bed, so he’s hovering over you. His covered bulge rubs your thigh and you moan into the kiss, and it gives Gwilym a sign to move further. His left hand trails down your body, paying special attention to your boobs, while the right one is on your face, cupping your cheek. Finally, his fingers rub your clit slowly and you whimper, when he does that. He kisses you fiercely and you try to unbutton his shirt when he puts one finger inside you.
“No”, you pull away, “don’t want your fingers. Want you”.
“Love, we’ve run out of condoms”, he caresses your face. You don’t give him the verbal answer immediately; instead, you unbutton his shirt and help take it off of him, and pull him into a heated kiss. It’s open-mouthed, with moans spilling from both of you, it’s demanding, as your hands wander across his torso, it’s bruising, ‘cause you tug on his bottom lip with your teeth.
“I want you to fuck me raw”, you whisper looking deeply into his eyes.
His eyes are widened the second these words leave your mouth. “You’re not on the pill”, he states as if you didn’t know this. You swallow and kiss him again, less roughly now. 
“Just pull out”, you say, “or is it too hard for you?” your cocky smile makes him go absolutely insane. His eyes sparkle with something you can’t quite read, something that makes you grow even wetter. 
He makes a move closer to your face like he’s going to kiss your lips and when you close your eyes, he suddenly pepper your neck with kisses. He sucks on your collarbone profoundly, leaving marks all over it.
“Mine”, he mumbles, biting on the skin between your breasts softly, “all mine”. 
You mewl in response, tugging on his hair and shutting your eyes in anticipation.
As Gwilym kisses all over your boobs, sucking on your nipples and touching just the way you like it, he notices your closed eyes and messy state; he smirks and moves back to your lips; his kiss is tender but searing. “Want you to look at me”, he rubs your clit slowly, almost lazily, making you squirm and whine. “Want to see your pretty eyes as I fuck you”. 
You help him unbuckle his pants, and when he’s fully naked, in all his glory in front of you, you almost howl. You can’t quite believe you’re going to spend your life with him – and love, joy, lust, and desire overcome you. You sit down on the bed, so that his cock is right in front of your face, and you pump him slowly, maintaining eye contact with Gwil all this time. His dominating side seems to fade away, when you put your mouth on the tip, passing your tongue over the slit. And when you look at him innocently, a grin appears on your face. He looks so fucking hot like this: lips parted, breath hitched, eyes filled with lust, a hand on your cheek. While keeping the eye contact, as you’re following his demand, you take all of him in your mouth. Gwil gasps and his hand is on your head, tugging on your hair slightly. “Fuck, baby, you feel so good”, he gasps, “but…”, your head starts bobbing up and down his cock, and he almost loses it. “Don’t want your mouth”, he pants, trying to catch his breath, “want you”.
You pull him out of your mouth with a loud pop, and he bends down to you, kissing you lusciously. He lifts you up and turns you over without any effort. “On your hands and knees, baby”, you obey happily and wiggle your bum for him. Gwil chuckles and smacks your ass, making you drop your head in between your arms. He lines himself at your entrance and teases you by sliding the tip of his dick up and down your slick folds. “You’re so wet, love”, he mumbles, rubbing your back gently. 
“All for you”, you’re heavy breathing – you need more. And he knows it. So he gives it to you.
Gwil slides into you effortlessly and stills for a moment, giving you time to adjust. When you tell him to move, he does it deliberately and leisurely, making the burning ache between your legs even hotter.
“Gwil, baby”, you turn your head just to look into his eyes, “harder, please”.
He stops moving completely. “You sure?” he always asks. Always keeping you comfortable. 
“Yeah”, you nod. You want to add, “Just destroy my fucking vagina”, but you decide to keep it to yourself. For now, at least. 
He pulls out of you only to slam back with all his length. You scream from pleasure and your legs are already wobbly and you know – a couple of more thrusts like this and you’re a goner. You don’t know where this ability to cum so quickly comes from. Gwil feels you clenching around him, and slows down a bit, silently understanding your desire to last a bit longer. 
“So tight, baby”, he whispers, smacking your butt and then giving your ass cheek a squeeze. He touches your shoulder and makes you get up so that your back is leaning against his chest. Huge mirror right in front of you gives the two of you the perfect opportunity to look, to watch each other in the state of pleasure. 
“Look how pretty you are”, he wraps his hand around your neck lightly, “look at you being wrecked by my cock. So beautiful, baby”. And you’re wrecked – with sweaty skin, messy hair and broken moans coming out of your mouth. 
Gwilym takes his hand off of your neck and puts it on your stomach, helping you move. His other hand massages your boob, making your head fall onto his shoulder. The sounds you’re making are no longer humanlike – but words of love are entangled along with them. You both kept your feelings deep inside for too long for them not to be said to each other almost all the time. 
You are the first to come, and Gwil holds you tightly and fucks you through your orgasm. He’s not far behind you and he comes rather fast, biting on your shoulder and grunting your name. 
You come back from your high and catch a glimpse of you two in the mirror. Gwil's face is buried in your neck, kissing and sucking on it. You intertwine your fingers with his and kiss his palm softly. The hotel room smells like sex, sweat, and love. And you know you’ll enjoy it for the rest of your life.
“I love you so much”, he mumbles while kissing all over your shoulders. You hum in response; when Gwil pulls out, you whine at the feeling of emptiness. He chuckles and walks to the bathroom - he comes back a couple of minutes later, with a wet towel to clean up the mess he’s made on our ass. You smile, feeling his touch; it never ceases to amaze you how much influence he has upon you.
“There you go”, he taps your butt lightly and then wraps his arms around your waist. You lean to him, pressing your back to his chest, and let your head fall onto his shoulder. You’ve never felt more comfortable and safe in your life, ever. It’s like you’re in your personal heaven, and you don’t want to leave his warm embrace.
“That’s funny”, he mumbles.
“What?”
“You tell me to leave the job that I hate, and I obey immediately”, Gwilym kisses the corner of your mouth, making you giggle. “But when I was telling you to quit that pathetic job of yours, you wouldn’t ever listen to me”.
“Well, I quitted it, eventually”, you raise your head and turn slightly to look him in the eyes. Gwil lets out an airy chuckle, through his nose, and shakes his head.
“And I’m really happy about it”, you smile softly.
“Of course you would be. I did it to come to Dublin with you”.
“Sounds like you’re regretting it now”.
You shrug your shoulders. “I could have been brain-fucked be Damian by now instead of just being with you. Dunno what’s better”, Gwil smiles and kisses you tenderly. Your neck gets numb, and you turn your whole body, your chest pressing to Gwil’s. The kiss is needy and sweet, with hands on cheeks, soft laughs and noses rubbing together. Every moment with Gwil is so intimate and soulful that you keep wondering how you could ever live without him. How did it happen that only ten months ago you met the love of your life?
“How is it possible”, Gwil says breathlessly in between kisses, “that I”, you kiss him heatedly again, “even had a life before you?”
You look into his eyes and smile sheepishly. “You’re cute, Gwilym Lee”, you put your hands around his neck. He raises his brows and grins back at you, his hands finding their way around your waist and they rest just above your ass.
“Oh, really?”
“Really”.
He looks at you for a while before speaking again. “Wanna meet my parents tomorrow?”
You nod eagerly. “Will Heather be there?”
Gwil rolls his eyes. “I won’t let my sister steal you from me”.
“Nothing can take me away from you, baby”, you peck his lips, “trust me”.
“Will you wear that dress?”
The look in his eyes is hopeful, he’s almost begging. You chuckle and press yourself even closer to him. “That dress means a lot to me, y’know. We met through it”.
“I remember something like that”.
You sigh and roll your eyes, being suddenly irritated with his remark. “Hope you don’t ruin it by the end of the night”.
Gwil’s eyes sparkle and he licks his lips. “Can’t promise you this, love”, he whispers before kissing you one more time.
________________________________________________________________
I would really love to see some feedback because I feel like this chapter is stupid and useless pls tell me what you think
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arthurs-wife · 6 years
Text
The Stagecoach Doesn’t Stop Here Anymore
Anonymous said to arthurs-wife: Hello! I’ve just done the mission where Mary asks Arthur to run away with her and I was going to ask if you could write a story where Arthur goes behind the readers back to run away with Mary and leaves the reader worried about him for weeks aswell as the gang so she’s rides out to look for him and finds him and Mary kissing leaving her heartbroken as well as Arthur as he begins crying/ pleading for her to come back. Could you make it a happy/ fluffy ending? Thank you ✨💕
A/N: this got lonk. i hope it makes some sense, thank you so much for the prompt and your patience!
You stood to the side of Arthur’s tent, around the wagon, and tapped your foot nervously. If you went in there were you too needy? Did you maybe give him some time? It had only been one kiss, maybe just play it off, act natural.
You took a deep breath and swung yourself around the wagon and opened your mouth to… an empty bed. Deflated, you dropped your arms to your side and looked around. Strange, his bed looked neater and the pictures were gone from his bedside table and wagon. Your head whipped around to see if his horse was still hitched, she wasn’t.
“Charles!”
Within seconds he was at your side, strapped in and ready to go.
“What’s going on?”
“It’s Arthur,” you gestured to his empty cabin, “I think he’s gone.”
Charles surveyed the scene and motioned for you to follow him. You mounted your horses and rode off towards Valentine.
A train blundered past you both, blowing its horn and clacking away as you struggled to keep up with Charles. You both skidded into the train station and hitched your horses and barrelled inside.
“When did the last train leave?” you demanded of the ticket man and Charles put his hand on your shoulder.
“Why just a few minutes ago,” the ticket man said, holding his hands up a little at your tone.
“Did you see a man get on,” you asked, “tall-ish, long brown hair and a hat with a rope around it? Would have been wearing a blue shirt probably.”
“Oh! Oh yes,” the man said excitedly, happy he could provide you with at least a little information, “yes he came through with a woman early this morning.”
“What did she look like?” Charles asked because your throat had suddenly become so tight you couldn’t breathe.
“Brown hair, freckle on her right cheek,” he said.
“Where did they go?” you managed to ask.
“I’m sorry miss,” he said, “I didn’t sell them the tickets, just happened to see them get on board.”
There was nothing more to do, so you walked out of the station, barely registering your surroundings. The sun was up proper now and people in Valentine were starting to stir.
“Who is she?” you asked when Charles had appeared beside you.
“That’d be Mary,” he said, taking your hand and walking to your horses, “I’m surprised he actually did it this time.”
“Did what?”
“Start a new life with her.”
The sun was cold.
*** You spent most of your time in the wilderness, scouting out towns and huddled around your campfire, looking for Arthur. Sometimes Charles stayed with you to help look, but you felt more alone when he was there.
Dutch had been enraged when Charles informed him what Arthur had done and locked himself away in his tent. Hosea tried to talk to him but found more yield talking to a wall. The only person who didn’t seem to be affected was Micah, who strode around the camp, thumbs in his suspenders.
“Looks like pretty boy got himself a train out of here as quick as he could, huh?”
Only Charles and Jack had offered to help you look for him, as fruitless an effort it may be.
You all rode from the Mountains of West Elizabeth to Annesburg and there was no trace of the man. One night you and Charles and John sat around a campfire on an unseasonably cold night and drank from your respective flasks. John offered you a cigarette and you took one.
“I don’t know what Dutch is gonna do if we can’t find him,” he said, mumbling as he lit his cigarette, “might just implode. Been going that way for a while.”
“Dutch’ll keep on going,” Charles shook his head, “he’s dealt with this before.”
“Doesn’t mean he was the better for it,” John said.
You laid there listening to them talk and looked up at the stars and wondered why you were even looking for Arthur. You all were going through the motions now, doing your due diligence to make sure that if you did find Arthur, he’d know you all really did care about him.
Not that he cared for you.
*** “Get behind here.”
Charles grabbed your sleeve and pulled you behind a pillar. You had finally made it to Saint Denis, three full weeks after Arthur had left you. It was the industrial side of town and the buildings were crammed together like sardines, you hated it here and could tell Charles did too.
“What is it?” you whispered and Charles nodded to a stagecoach.
You turned to look and it stopped in front of a house. The driver stepped off and opened the door, holding his hand out for-
“That’s her, Mary,” Charles hissed and you felt him restless beside you.
When she was down another man stepped out and if it weren’t for that stupid smile you wouldn’t have recognized him.
Hair trimmed short and faded on one side, his beard almost non-existent, clean suit and not a speck of dirt on his shoes. Arthur stepped out of the carriage and Mary grabbed his hand, pulling him down and kissing him.
And that just made you so god damn mad.
“Arthur you son of a bitch!”
You stomped out of your precarious hiding space and barely heard Charles trying to drag you back. The breath had left your lungs to be replaced with cold fire and brimstone and you pulled back your fist and punched him dead in the jaw.
Like it mattered, your fists were fleas compared to his face but you think you got the point across. Tears filled your eyes and you didn’t even care about Mary at this point, all your rage was focused on this man who was doing just fine without the rest of you.
“Y/n, wait, I-”
“I’m done waiting!” you cried, “I waited three weeks for you to show your face, you coward! We all waited! Do you know what you did to us?”
“I know and I’m sorry-”
“I don’t care how sorry you are!”
Charles had come up behind you quietly and taken your hand and it calmed you down a little. Always a light in such trying times. Arthur turned his gaze to Charles and pleaded with him silently.
“At least we know you’re okay, Arthur,” Charles said and you could hear the venom in his voice, see the way Arthur recoiled from it. Mary walked up to Arthur and looked between the three of you.
“Arthur, who is this?” she asked, looking at you. Somehow you couldn’t be mad at her. She was beautiful and strong enough to tear Arthur away from a life that would kill him. “Mary this is y/n,” he sighed, “and Charles.”
“You two seem to have some kind of relationship,” she said, drawing herself up.
“We don’t,” you spat, “enjoy civilization.”
You turned on your heel and left, despite the fact that both of your horses were in the opposite direction. Anything to get away from them, from the stink of this city.
You felt a hand grab yours and you thought it was Charles but you turned.
“I ain’t got nothin’ to say to you,” you said, ripping your hand out of Arthur’s.
“I made a mistake,” he said.
“You sure seemed to be enjoying that mistake by kissin’ on it.”
“Now it ain’t like that-”
“Then tell me what it’s like!” you cried. You felt so small in front of this man.
“I got scared,” he said finally, “that night with you, made me feel things I hadn’t felt in years. I went to town to clear my head and Mary got to me first, made her case and here I am. Not my proudest moment.”
“Dutch is furious,” you said.
“As he should be.”
“I’m furious.”
“I did you wrong,” he said, taking a step closer to you, “and I’m glad y’all found me.”
“You better,” you said through your gritted teeth, “get your ass back to Valentine before I kick it back there for you.”
In spite of the sour situation he grinned at you. And in even more spite, because that’s what you were made of, you stood on your toes and kissed him, taking his face in your hands and pressing as hard as you could, feeling him wrap his arms around you.
“And grow out your beard for Christ’s sake.”
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