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#i did have breakfast. and a chamomile. and a plain tofu burger. about 7 hrs ago
forgotten-daydreamer
·
25 days
Text
"have you eaten?" "yes" i said, like a liar
#vent
#ed tw
#i havent been coping very well and i've been lying to my parents about my disordered eating in these past few days
#i did have breakfast. and a chamomile. and a plain tofu burger. about 7 hrs ago
#couldn't bring myself to eat anymore because i just. cant
#i had a panic attack earlier and another one yesterday and im drained because i havent had this many in a row in years
#and if im reverting back to how i was a decade ago im killing myself this time without a question because now i know how it goes
#i feel like nothing could ever fix the situation im in in general in life and just thinking about it is sending me into a panic again
#i feel so alone yet so overwhelmed and so stupid and so tired of everythibg
#tomorrow i have breakfast with my friends and i cant just not eat because they will absolutely force me to
#like theyve been around long enough to just know without asking too many questions but still making sure i eat
#also i didnt plan anything for lunch and my fridge is half empty bc i didnt have the physical strength to go grocery shopping
#so i have i think yoghurt bananas tofu burgers and water
#also one tomato. just checked
#im so tired i want to die and not out of despair but out of exhaustion
#like. i did what i had to do in this life. failed miserably. seen enough. i dont think being here for any longer would be fun
#sorry if you followed me via ao3. i vent a lot here. sorry.
#being an adult with these issues that teens usually have is mortifying. genuinely
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