#i dont want to get to the bottom

[lockhartandlych]

three weeks.

that's how long my uncle has been working on his song. he just moved in. long story, but he and his girlfriend would've been homeless otherwise.

my birthday came and went recently. he said he'd make me a song. music and beats were emanating from his room for days. he's been drunk. talkative. i've been staying away. he's a lot, and he'll trap you in conversations for hours. i don't want to say that i don't like him. i don't want my parents to kick them out just because of my preferences.

but i don't like him. it almost feels liberating to say it, even if it is just on here.

three weeks.

he handed it to me. he was drunk. he was saying it was horrible. he was saying it was great. it perplexed me, but mom said we all do it, when we're anxious. she was right.

that's not stopping me from thinking it was strange. i dont know if i wish it did.

a couple hours later, im listening to it. about four minutes. it's... good. not perfect, but it never is. it's good, though. more than i thought it would be, given how he deprecated it. given how mom told me, no matter what, to tell him it was good.

breakcore. my favorite.

three weeks.

four minutes.

why did he spend three weeks on this? why was he so anxious about it? i understand, deep down. it's the same reason why i spend a week agonizing over a hundred words. it's the same reason why i spend hours on a doodle.

but why drink?

why rant until dawn?

why make my parents worried? the people i love?

getting to the end. it's nice. it's pleasant, in its own way. as breakcore is.

a clip intersperses with the music. a child crying. someone shouting.

"you gotta get your shit together!"

the song ends.

...what?

the song was for me. was that about me?

no, i tell myself. it's art. it's just art. wild and messy. it's his way of saying i love you.

"you gotta get your shit together." his way of saying i love you.

he doesn't say that, ever. he constantly praises me. he talks me up like my existence changed his life. it's just what people do about those they love. those they meet. my teachers did it, my family does it, my sister's friend's mother does it. i guess im good at putting on a show. but i can't possibly be as great as they all say. if i ever let myself believe that i know i'd be a narcissist. i want to. but i can't. it's exhausting. the praise is exhausting.

"you gotta get your shit together." coming from the man who almost drove my mother to tears because he wouldn't stop ranting about how happy i made him, even after hours.

im messed up. i take classes from home to get my ged and barely leave my room. i take showers once a week and tidy up even less. i stay up all night. my schedule's fucked. im messed up.

but... is this song about me at all? he said it was. i thought it was. i shouldn't be surprised though, that it isn't. it's art. it's his. art is always about the self. about the man who drinks and has to have his girlfriend shepherd him away. about the man who almost ended up homeless when our own family's money ran dry keeping him up in a hotel, about a man who believed that tuning forks would cure my dysphoria and that vibrations were the collective soul of humanity.

about the man who had to deal with the fallout of my grandfather's abuse for his whole life, up until the day he died.

"you gotta get your shit together."

it was never about me, this song. it was about you. why give it to me? why let me in on your suffering? is this an act of love? is this a cry for help?

"you gotta get your shit together."

i am getting my shit together. im taking classes. im starting to take my meds again. my room's not littered with shit like the rest of the house. i have plants that i've somehow kept alive.

"you gotta get your shit together."

im not sure what's worse, it being about me or it being about him. i dont want it to be either but i know it's one of them.

it's just a line. it's just a fucking line. why is it making me write all of this if it's just a single line?

"you gotta get your shit together."

maybe it's cutting like this because i do have to get my shit together. maybe if i write it enough i will.

"you gotta get your shit together."

it was never about me. it was always about you. your so-called healing as you sucked my family's funds dry, your tuning forks, your songs, your rants until dawn.

im prone to narcissism. it's hard to pinpoint why. maybe it's because my self-esteem is so low it loops right back around like a computer integer. maybe it's because everyone keeps making the mistake of hyping me up all the time. maybe it's because i crave attention. maybe it's because i've always had to give it.

but maybe... just maybe...

maybe it's because i got it from you.

[xxplastic-cubexx]

i would like to draw him more i think..

[heartorbit]

the star you've longed for

[starry-bi-sky]

finally giving fem danyal her own au and fulfilling my 'danny is an animal whisperer' agenda at the same time: mother of monsters danyal 2.0

i say "2.0" because TECHNICALLY 'mother of monsters danyal' is an au I made back in June for Dark fem!Danyal (who I promptly named Layal). However, I haven't posted much for her yet, and I like the "mother of monsters" premise too much to leave it only to Layal. Plus Danyal in that au was going to become the mother of monsters anyway, just with significantly less world domination and mass extinction.

'Animal whisperer' Danny has been something I've been thinking about since my latest DP 'wolfpack au' post and it's! So fun to think about, and who no better to assign the idea to than Danyal Al Ghul? Who comes from a family infamously known for their love of animals and nature?

Fem Danyal is just purely self-indulgent. *gestures wildly at her* i just lomvb,,, her,,,, I've only really mentioned her in context of the 'Things in Threes' au/my first Danyal al Ghul au with the facial scar, but she's!!! I love her. She deserves her own au <33

So kill three birds with one stone! Make a post about it.

Anyways, Danny has a large lair. Similar to cult leader danyal, her lair is a giant mountain region resembling nanda parbat with a big temple/palace-like area built into the mountain. It's large, it's overflowing with natural flora, with its own mini-floating islands hovering over some areas, and it's also completely empty.

Danny takes one look at her lair upon first meeting, -- noting that it looked relatively smaller from the outside -- and promptly, with the elegance of an Al Ghul, goes "What the hell??" Because yes, while she does enjoy her own solitude and privacy, this is a bit ridiculous.

For heaven's sake, there's even a massive lake in there! What's she going to do with all this space? Can she make it any smaller? Why is it so big in the first place? This looks borderline like one of the mega-islands!

She finds out later that apparently, the amount of ectoplasm a ghost has can have an effect on the size of their lair. And since she has such a large core, her lair reflects that. Wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey stuff, it's bigger on the inside so it doesn't take up "too much space" on the outside. Don't worry about it too much.

Danyal isn't totally opposed to having such a large lair, she's just... a bit baffled by it. It feels like so much wasted space is all. All this flora and no fauna to enjoy it with. It's practically eerie.

She decorates her temple-palace area, transforming rooms to match her needs as she sees fit. In the center of the inner gardens is a massive tree that she likes to climb, with twisting, winding branches. Sam and Tucker have honorary rooms, even if they can't safely leave the specter speeder for long periods of time, even with proper safety equipment. So does Jazz. Ali (Dani) has one too, but he can actually use that one, and Danny brought him to her lair so he could decorate it himself.

She has a personal garden, but for the most part she lets the flora exist as it is. Too much space to cultivate it en masse anyways.

Skip to a few weeks later, on her next visit to Clockwork. She developed a habit of going to see him semi-regularly just because. She enjoys his wisdom, and he has a lot of stories to tell, and when he's not being the cryptic and esoteric timekeeper, he's a bit goofy.

(pushing my dadwork agenda here,,, i think Danny deserves to go 'hey, Lord Clockwork, do you want me to buy you something' while she's at walmart, only to receive a singular glowing sticky note that says 'cucumber gatorade'.)

(She insists on referring to him with his proper titles even for the most mundane of things because it's proper, but Clockwork sees a future where she eventually calls him "Cee" and by all things in existence is he determined to get there. Anyways,,,)

On her next visit to Clockwork, just as she is about to leave, Clockwork stops her and goes; "Ah, I have something for you. Hold out your hands."

Danny does as such, and Clockwork doesn't give out things often, so her curiosity has spiked to the highest levels. He turns away from her for a moment, using his staff to summon whatever it is he needs, and when he turns around.

He drops a fish into her hands. Granted, a fish in a small glass tank. But a fish nonetheless. A small one, roughly about the size of her finger, with a blue-black, eel-shaped body and four sets of glowing eyes. She can see thin, almost translucent, but spiny fins down its back and the start of bioluminescent markings. It's swimming around in circles in its small container.

"Lord Clockwork." Danyal says all too calmly.

"Yes, Danyal?"

"What is this?"

"That is an adolescent leviathan, Danyal." She’s transfixed onto the tank, but she doesn’t need to see Clockwork’s face to hear the smile he’s stifling.

The myriad of emotions that runs through her all at once threatens to overwhelm her, and she can’t tell if the feelings are negative or positive. So she carefully closes her eyes to breathe in through her nose.

“Clockwork.”

“Ah, I see you’ve dropped formalities.”

She ignores that.

“Why have you given me an adolescent leviathan?”

She's expecting the trickster to look amused when she opens her eyes. Instead, he just looks endeared. "I know you're fond of animals," he says, "and you always look amazed when you come across an animal of the realms. So I thought you might enjoy taking care of the young beast, it's mother is dead so it has no one to care for it."

Oh.

"But, if you don't like it," Clockwork's hands reach out for the tank, "I can simply take it back--"

Danyal shifts the tank out from his reach and hugs it possessively. "I never said that. How do I care for it?"

And so clockwork gives her a list, and when Danyal returns to her lair, she sets up a large tank in her room for the leviathan to swim in -- it's much too small for the lake right now, she thinks. She'll feel better if it's somewhere she can find it. She names him Suhā.

Suhā grows quickly, and by the end of the mortal month she transforms one of the rooms into a large pond for him to swim around in. He's a very loyal beast, recognizing her as it's mother of some kind. Danyal takes great care ensuring that her beastie gets quality care, and Suhā swims to the surface to see her when he senses her in the room.

It spirals from there. Somehow, Pandora catches wind that Clockwork gave her a leviathan, and so the next time Danyal visits the Greater Athens, she gives her a baby chimera. It's eyes are still sealed shut, Danyal can't bring herself to say no. She names the little beastie Firas.

Frostbite hears about it too, and not to be outdone, gives her an animal she's never even heard of. Infinite-realms born, apparently. A fox-like creature with two small horns like an impala, four eyes, and tall legs. The name isn't something she's quite sure how to write down, and she's positive that her friends won't be able to comprehend it. She names her Eira.

Getting the three of them used to each other was... interesting. Suhā tried to eat Firas when Danyal first introduced the two, and they've hated each other ever since. Firas and Eira are seemingly getting along. Her island already feels full enough with the three of them on it.

Of course, that's not the end of it. With her luck, she begins stumbling across other monsters. Realms-borne or otherwise. An injured hydra in the Grecian islands that, through lots of trial and error, Danyal is able to rehabilitate and heal. It routinely comes to visit her afterwards.

A griffin with a broken wing that she moves permanently to the island that likes to keep to itself, but tends to come down when she's near. It gets along best with Firas.

A panther-like monster from the Shades Woods that had six legs and three tails, with ends that reminded her of a venus flytrap. It stuck around the heavy foliage and she can only make out where it was when she saw its golden eyes reflect.

She befriends a young indrik with its leg injured, and much like the hydra it follows her back to her island, and stays there in the mountains. It comes out when she's alone, much like her other beasts.

She receives two more leviathan -- one from clockwork, and one she finds herself while exploring the deeper and darker recesses of the Ghost Zone. It was huddled against the carcass of its mother, and she managed to befriend and get close enough to it to bring it back to her island. Suhā is fully grown by then, with a head bigger than Danyal herself and he still likes to stick her head out of the water for nuzzles when she's near.

He's not very happy with his new siblings, but he's not trying to eat them when she's not looking. So she calls it a win in her book.

And it's not just large beasts either; smaller animals begin popping up when she's not looking. Bird-like creatures and small mammals, and she swears she saw a doe (or something resembling a doe) grazing in the forest while she was walking by.

She takes back with her a lone snake egg once, and it grows so big it wraps around her island and sleeps with its massive head on the mountain beside the temple, like some smaller breed of Jörmungandr.

And on and on it goes. Some of the beasts she comes across never step foot onto her island, some of them follow her back, while others she has to carry back. Not all of the ones that follow her stay, and Danny rehabilitates the injured and releases them when they're fully healed.

It's hectic, and busy, and frankly she loves it. Some of her rehabilitated beasts return to visit her, or to have their children somewhere on the island, or whatever it is they need to do.

She becomes a bit infamous for it. She goes to visit Dorathea once, and as she's walking through the streets she can hear some of the denizens whispering while she walks past.

"Is that her?"

"Her highness' friend? Yes--"

"--that's the one--"

"--Mother of monsters--"

Danny's not sure how to feel about that.

Although, she can't say she's opposed.

Danyal Al Ghul, Mother of monsters, raiser of beasts. It has a nice ring to it.

[jouyato]

star-crossed..... or one might say, missile-crossed lovers

pose based off of this lol. my brain was like "brrrr burda dying in the missile" "and they were colleagues"

[pigswithwings]

you will hear my strong opinions about the care and keeping of fish today by the lord

[freakqueer]

coming out and being told "cant you just identify as gender queer or nonbinary, why do you have to 'Go All The Way' and be A Whole Other Scary Gender" is a pretty widespread experience, regardless of whether you're a trans woman or a trans man.

off the top of my head i can think of at least several friends who were told by their parents "cant you just be nonbinary/genderqueer" when they came out as trans men, including one who was told this by a therapist. the only reason elliot ever got used as a name for me initially was because my mom pitched "El" as "it can be a girls name too, its gender neutral". to this day i have a brother who pointedly only uses they/them for me when he's mad at me because it's a way for him to degender me and he knows my mom will get angry at him if he calls me she/her.

[glitterghost]

" ᵀʰᵉ ᵗʳᵘᵗʰ ⁱˢ ᴵ ᵃᵐ ᵈᵘᵉ ᵃ ʰᵃʳˢʰ ˡᵉˢˢᵒⁿ "

(print edition)

It's here, it's here! I'm absolutely not mad at how it turned out. And a very big thank you to @floating-goblin-art for giving me their blessing to have it printed. 🖤🤍

[ganondoodle]

tumblr too will sell all user data to A/I fuckers. the toggle is apparently just to tell the techbros i dont want it, they "believe" they will "honor" that, like techbros ever honored anything but money.

sharing my art and connecting with people has been, literally, whats kept me alive through my darkest days.

i do not want it stolen, mangled and used to generate more money for people that already have more money than god.

creative labors of love that we share with people for free, to connect with people, to find joy in art and to bring joy to others, only for it to be ripped from you against your will, stolen, mangled, twisted into an algorythm just so some disgustingly rich guys gain more money.

and you lagerly cant do anything against it, the things you have ever posted anywhere, be it written or drawn, already taken without your consent.

it makes me feel ill.

right now, im questioning my will to be an artist.

to live.

[roots-symphony]

I had all and then most of you some and now none of you t a k e m e b a c k t o t h e n i g h t w e m e t

[cybertron-smash-or-pass]

TF One D-16

[heartorbit]

a mob of emus for an artstyle game on twt! ^_^

[kaiju-krew]

Hello!!

Okay, first of all: I LOVE YOUR ART!!! I've been following you on Twitter because I didn't have tumblr until now (⁠｡⁠•́⁠︿⁠•̀⁠｡⁠)

Are you planning to do more gijinkas? Goji and Mothra are so beautiful and I'm curious if you are gonna do more characters? Like... Idk, Kong? (I'm sorry, I love that guy)... OR Shimo! I know Shimo is very new, but I think her/his design is very pretty.

That's all, have a nice day ⊂⁠(⁠(⁠・⁠▽⁠・⁠)⁠)⁠⊃

(Sorry if my english is bad, I'm spanish)

hallo!! ahh thank u sm<3 your english is great btw!! :D

oo welcome, tumblr is great imo =w= it may not be as popular as twitter but it's mostly chill and i love how much easier it is to chat with ppl

i am working on more actually! I'm currently working on a new set of 3, but I'm lowkey loving shimo a lot so i may have to sneak her in too she's a girl to me until the movie crushes my dreams but yess i'm currently working on rodan, kong, and biollante :3c

buuuuut it'll likely take me a while to get them out bcuz like 95% of my art time rn is dedicated to working on stuff for the comic con i'm gonna be vending at. but once that's done i'll be free and clear to spend all my free time on them.... im honestly dying to work on them more but im gonna make it a reward for myself for finishing all my con art lmao

as a littol bonus...... i used one of those height comparison things to make sure everyone is scaled properly - it'll give you a sneak peak on the other ones i'm thinking of doing in the future /o/

[sometipsygnostalgic]

A collection of drawings from this afternoon!

The top one is based on a very funny fic that Kim wrote for me yesterday. They think they turned Catra into a cat, but that's actually an alternate Catra, and the real one is being bombarded by cat versions of her many girlfriends.

The rest are me being indulgent and filling a page with Entraptas! Of various expressions. The centre right one is consuming ice coffee and doughnut holes.

The drawing I'm most proud of is actually the Catra on the top right. She looks detailed but still soft, something i struggle with.

[imabiscuitinthousandworlds]

"Luck is my middle name. Mind you, my first name is Bad."

in other words i am obsessed with this guy (and yea the lady was probably described differently but consider this. i don't care)

[borrelia]

reappraising my sonic games ranking. i think now it goes like this:

Frontiers

Shadow Gens

Unleashed

Shadow the Hedgehog 2005 / SA2 (with chao garden)

Murder of Sonic / SA2 (without chao garden) A bit of space....

Battle

Generations A bit more space...

SA1

Heroes

Project 06

Every 2D game

Sonic 06 (by default, sorry)