#i dont wanna freak anyone out w it idk

[ppinksun]

silly oc stuff

[hannyoontify]

quick ramble abt ikea shopping w jun as a couple

i rlly wanna turn this into a fic but i’m currently too lazy to get out of bed to grab my laptop so i’ll js type it out on my phone

ygs have a contest on who can find the ugliest piece of furniture (he wins almost every single time)

one time he tried to climb the showroom of a kid’s bedroom that had a bunk bed even though there was a piece of plastic that blocked off the ladder said ‘don’t climb’

he kept sliding off the ladder and plastic sign and got all pouty so you had to buy him two ice cream cones that day

insists on taking a nap in the armchairs department

jun will find the biggest armchair in the showroom and pull you into his lap and call for a ‘cat nap’

insists on ‘testing the beds’ by taking off his shoes and jumping on the beds

yells ‘parkour!’ and jumps from bed to bed until an employee tells him to get down

yeah ygs r really close to being blacklisted by your local ikea

says hi to every. single. baby. he. sees.

and he does that royal queen wave too like

forgets to pace himself and becomes overstimulated by the time ygs reach the end of the showrooms section so you have to basically drag jun through the entire marketplace and warehouse to check out

one time, jun tried to enroll himself into the kid’s daycare play area and got confused as to why they wouldn’t let a 28 year old in

‘my partner’s doing all the shopping! i’m js here to carry all the heavy stuff to the car so can i pleaseee go play in the ball pit’

but he also insists on doing all the heavy work

once ygs reach the warehouse, you’re not lifting a SINGLE finger

‘dont worry baby, your super strong, reliable boyfi- OOMF’

you end up helping him at the end but hey, it’s the thought that counts!

idk if this is a very specific childhood memory but there were these computers at the entrance of the warehouse, i think it was meant to help people find specific areas that had the furniture they were looking for

and idk if anyone knows what i’m talking abt but the unoccupied computers has a screen saver of a vide of a man in an ikea uniform waving at you and gesturing you to come over to use the computer

but every time jun sees those, he freaks out

‘he js waved at me’ ‘honey that’s a video’

‘NO BUT WHEN I POINTED AT ME HE NODDED’

tries pick a fight with the man on the screen (saying this from personal experience)

once ygs check out, ice cream cones are a MUST

ygs aren’t big on the dining hall tho bc jun insists that the meatballs make him gassy

so ygs always get a vanilla ice cream cone, and if you feel like it, a box of cinnamon rolls

[not-5-rats]

Okay so...this started as a sorta stable idea but then I started rambling and it ehhh...it went somewhere? Idk, this probs makes like zero sense but just go with it alright bestie????

Do you guys think Sugarboo ever used work as an excuse to distance themself from Al when Seth came back?

Like they knew the two were finally getting to know one another again, finally rebuilding a trust that was shattered years ago and they didn't wanna get in the way of that. So they threw thenself into their work...to distract themself, to remove themself

And for a while this worked out alright, Seth and Al had some space to talk abt...things and SB was able to work on getting their business of the ground...but they quickly ran into an issue. Burn out.

It had all happened so quickly, one day everything was fine, business was great, they were spending every moment of everyday in their own little space, baking anything their mind could think of at that moment and everything they made instantly sold out....but suddenly they could barely lift a spoon, everything was too much, too much demand, not enough supply. They were so stressed that they could barely roll out of bed some days.

They tried to just 'push past' this, thinking they were simply a bit tired, they just needed to keep going and things would be okay. Things were not okay. They worked themself into the ground, and people were beginning to notice, they were starting to notice

Al had started thinking something might be off when be realised it had been like...3 while days and he hadn't seen Boo at all. He mentioned it briefly to Seth which...didn't help. Bro knew this had something to do with him, and he was honestly silently freaking. Both of them tried to ask SB abt it, multiple times, yet neither of them received anything more than a vague 'answer'. They each had their suspicions but everything came out one day when they decided to check on SB after their work

They knocked on the door to no response, they knocked again and even called out to them but still no sign of life from within the house. At this point they were worried so they cautiously pried open the door and went inside. They couldn't find SB at first but they pretty soon found them, crying their eyes out on their bathroom floor. Al rushed to offer comfort, to ensure they were alright but Seth seemed to hesitate by the bathroom door, deciding it best for him to back up a bit

They asked SB what was going on, what had happened...but they couldn't answer. They were shaking, roughly, and were barely able to keep their eyes open due to exhaustion. Al had his hands on their shoulders trying to keep them conscious but they couldn't look at him. As they kept asking SB finally made an attempt to answer, through shaky breaths and messy sobs they murmered out something along the lines of -

"Sorry...I didn't...you guys finally...finally seemed happy...together...I didn't...I didn't wanna get in your way...I tried to work...but there's so much to do...and everyone wants different things...I'm sorry...I'm so sorry.."

Their voice trailed off as their gaze shifted slightly, first they looked up at the pink-haired one knelt infeont of them, they felt ashamed...they felt pathetic. But then they looked across the room to the brunette stood in the doorway...and they felt even worse. They failed, they had tried so hard not to get in the way...and now? Now all the attention was on them, they were stuck in the middle of everyone. They had failed...like always

Al tried to comfort them, tried to make them see that they weren't bothering anyone, they weren't in the way of anything and they had nothing, I repeat, NOTHING to be sorry for...but they couldn't hear him. Their head was foggy, their vision began to go and pretty soon...they went limp...turns out when you dont take care of yourself properly there are harsh consequences on your physical health

They passed out. That was all they remembered the next day, they had woken up to a concerned face watching them from the edge of their bed. Al noticed the second they were awake

"Boo! Holy shit what was that! What are you playing at? You really scared us there!"

He tried to calm down, he wasn't mad he was just scared, scared for the health of the one he loved. SB didn't say much, they were still so tired...and their head hurt, like they'd been hit by a truck. After a while Seth appeared with water, painkillers and toast. They made sure SB drank/ ate smth...they needed it and tried to get then to talk about what was going on. It took a few hours...but they finally explained why they'd been gone so much, why they were so busy...how they ended up like this

The two were...well...they felt like shit for their own reasons. Al felt awful cause he hadn't noticed, he had let all of this happen without doing anything to stop it. He'd been so caught in in Seth being back and what that meant for them that he had lost sight of the rest of his life. Seth...Seth knew this was his fault, he came back and now everything was falling apart, he was a curse, a plague, a danger to those around him...this was his fault

The three sat in silence for a while, broken by SB who somehow had a sense the other two were already casting blame onto themselves

"I'm sorry..."

Both tried to cut them off, but they continued

"! I don't want you guys using this to beat yourselves, it wasn't your fault, I...I should've spoken to you...I should've...been honest with you guys-"

"Sugar...stop it"

There was a slight argument, but it quickly slowed to everyone just being upset and apologetic. They all sat on SBs bed, making sure to give SB enough space to themself, and they spoke about what the next step was to ensure thay everyone was happy, and that everyone was alright.

It was a tough conversation, SB didn't want to accept help, they didn't want to admit that they needed it, Seth was tempted to just...leave town again, and Al was barely keeping himself together atp. In the end they worked it out...sorta. Things were still a bit rocky...but they'd made progress. They decided SB really shouldn't be on their own much right now, so they agreed to spend most of the daytime outside with Al and Seth, sometimes just with one but most of the time the three were all together (to stop anybody from getting stupid ideas), they all agreed to be more open...as open as they could be right now. There were still things each of them didn't wish to disclose and that was alright! They just had to make sure everyone was open about how they felt...about this situation, it would be hard...they all knew this...but they cared abt each other...they wanted to be around one another, and they knew this was how to maintain that....so they agreed and stuck to that plan

By the time the conversation was done SB was cuddled against Al and their eyes were already fluttering shut once more. He smiled down at them and they smiled back...they felt...better. They still felt weird, and tired...and sore. But things felt easier, not much...but slightly. Like their was a pastel filter over all their problems, sure they were still there....but they weren't as bad anymore. With that comforting thought they fell asleep...finally getting the rest they needed

End of this...ehm...ramble? Idk bros it's 1am

[ivanisdying]

ranting (blitz&stolas relationship)

(ive been very inactive i apologise..)

i cannot fathom how angrynthe whole blitz n stolas thing is making me.. ppl hating on both sides but they r both in the wrong??? stolas saying hes never looked down on him when he HAS. has bro forgot the entirity of season 1?? stolas constantly called him his 'little imp' or his 'little plaything', and never really took him seriously. blitz could see that as mocking. but even then stolas's nickname for blitz is blitzy and he uses it infront of striker implying its a petname not that hes mocking blitz. in the first pilot ep he says along thw lines u do ur job and ill do mine. the whole deal was that in order for blitz to keep using the book was for him to have sex w stolas. so idk... another thing about the book. i think it was his only excuse to keep seeing stolas which is why he begged and begged for it. saying he NEEDS the book. he was about to apologise and you CAN HEAR IT "stolas, wait, im s-" AND THEN HE GETS TELEPORTED OUT... YOU COULD SEE HIM REACHING FOR HIS ROBE.. the fact their argument was where the crystal thing was and its when everything started. . . in an episode when stolas is laying down in the bed and blitz is crawling over to him he eyes the book as its the reason why he was doing it. in apology tour he pushes the book out of the way and is only looking at stolas !>!@>?!?!!@?! he doesnt care ab the book he cares ab STOLAS they both said what they needed to say but i dont think either of them fully took it in. stolas shpuldve let blitz talk but HE DIDNT.. in apology tour you can see his expression change whenever he looks at stolas and it BREAKS ME. and blitz apologises to verosika i think she actually forgave him. instead of calling him blitz-O she just calls him blitz which might imply a friendship or acquaintance in the future.. she gave him cake and left n i think she realised blitz is his own biggest hater. iv3 kinned blitz since the beginning tho i rlly liked moxxie.. silly guy stolas has complete right to be mad at blitz because he cant keep giving himself to someone who wont hear him out. but i beleive when blitz realises he loves him itll be too late. "im not in love w u anymore" "i didnt know u ever were" GHJRHFJDHFJH when blitz got jealous over stolas making out w another guy.. jealousy = feelings

blitz is harder to understand and sympathise for because he lashes out and gets upset by anger. it def has to do with his self hatred. notice how when stolas mentions anything about him leaving blitz splits and starts freaking out. he def has abandoment issues or bpd.. i think him n verosika is a reason why hes too scared to actually commit to another relationship.

they NEED to short shit out and have a gen talk or their situationship will go nowhere. it pains me knowing how bad they both struggle. in apology tour when blitz starts looking at him with a guilty look he sees stolas as his depressed and alcoholic self. and even when the guy asked to dance HE STILL LOOKED AT BLITZ FOR APPROVAL. i dont get why ppl hate on stolas for making out w a guy drunk when blitz did the same thing?? when they are walking down the hall stolas had covered every family photo except for leaving a space for where octavia was and rhat broke me... blitz doesnt believe anyone could actually love him. let alone a prince. and he says this multiple times but i dont think stolas really hears him. their trope is that stolas fell too early and blitz fell too late owls only fall in love once and he's pinged on him since they were kids LIKE ?!!?!?!? if stolas found out that he was bought to spend the day w him i think he'd distance himself even more. i need blitz to break down in stolas's arms like js something. im beginning to believe blitz does feel remorse for his actions and actually starts to feel bad ab what hes done. ghgghghhg this relationship makes me wanna rip my hair out and scream and roll on the floor (I mightve missed some things but this will conclude my rant)

I SWEAR vizzie is allergic to happiness ....

[tinkonka]

hellooo!! im kind of new?? to ur blog (i came from ao3 ehxhbrfj) and i was wondering abt what ur top three ships are?? and uhhh what u personally like most about their dynamic orrr what u’d like to see in future events regarding them? thank you!!

UAHH HELLO!! THANK YOU FOR READING MY STUFF ON AO3 <:)) I so happy

okay. get ready for it baebyyy. gonna go 3rd most fave to 1st fave. Guess the #1 fave (Impossible)

3. Akian

im going to be Honest and Admit that i only started shipping it out of spite but as i got more into the game and more into vbs i like. Really fucking appreciate it. Very much. i WILL SAY THOUGH I honestly don't mind consuming it on a platonic context either i JUST REALLY LIKE THE TWO OF THEM

I really appreciate the subtle shows of their care for eachother, akito noticing that something is off with her, an going Specifically TO akito and miku in. in wtwg i believe (i could be remembering this wrong) and in turn an, although she does like to tease him a lot, believes in his ability to contribute to the team and. IDK. THEY CARE ABOUT EACHOTHER!!! THERE IS SO MUCH. LOVE. in their hearts. An made him a cheesecake for his birthday. akito notices she looks tired lately and tells her not to push it. i want to complain about people boiling their relationship down to .. wlw mlm hostility and completely removing any notion that they like eachother . BUT THIS IS A POST ABOUT APPRECAITION SO IWONT TALK ABOUT IT.

even just. like. Vocal wise. their voices go so so well together. Traffic jam is one of my favorite vbs covers. i love the akian rap in it. I love their dynamic . I don't really have. MUCH ? i want down the line. (I do keep up w vbs but theyre not my favorite) so i kinda just enjoy them hwenever theyre on screen

2. Mizumafu

Its such a travesty that i have not written them yet but they are the dynamic i go batshit insane over. The Parallels. the. The Difference in. In how they mask. Their hearts. Their kindness. Its so similar. to eachother. mafuyus little "i havent seen you in a while... im glad" with her little smile. Mizuki saying that it'd just be the four of them at scramble fan festa so mafuyu wouldnt have to mask the entire time i fucking LOVE them

even like on a surface level theyre so freaking cute. girl whos like :D and guy whos like o_o (I love it when they transmasc mafuyu its wonderful) I just love them so terribly. I need them to hug i need them. to kiss eachother maybe.

In terms of what i wantfor them down the line... i'd love to see a sort of thing after ena5 maybe where. Mizukis not been to school in a WHILE and has a lot of stuff to catch up on so mafuyu sits with her and helps her. and mizukis like. kind of low energy but mafuyu doenst question it, just lets her sit there, just helps her with the equations a bit. mafuyu chan. I love them

Ruinene

Go on guys act surprised

GOD WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN. WITH THEM? I think i actually started liking them a while ago by proxy because i had a Friend who liked it.. i dont remember much but it was jun22 (july?) that i got into pjsk and right off the bat i really liked them. and then i got more into it and i liked them even more.

Their dynamic... i've always been a sucker for. "i'd die for you" x "Please live for me" . i love it terribly. I LOVE HOW INTRICATE IT IS i could go on forever about it. actually i am going to. sorry buckle the fuck up

I feel like ... i feel like a lot of Nene's attitude. toward everyone near the beginning of the wxs story. And toward herself really. It's just a big. Culmination of self hatred. She hates herself because she can't even talk to anyone without shaking, can't go on stage, lets people down... and she's bitter toward Rui because she hated that she couldn't do anything about their relationship. Letting people down.

i wanna draw attention to the way she talks about him near the beginning vs after her talk with tsukasa:

Do you see the difference? "he just has to try it out. people avoid him. heres the things hes done" vs "he gets absorbed in his work, and he's alone but i dont think he wants that". One is pointed, the other is sympathetic.

DO I THINK NENE HATES RUI. NO. But that's the thing with her. Her self hatred. she projects it onto others. Like in smile of a dreamer when she snapped at Tsukasa. And rui knows this behavior because he's immediately like "oh you must be worried about emu". because she didnt know what to do.

But then they grow together, and nenes attitude toward herself becomes kinder, and gradually her problems can be shared with them and it all just. becomes better. They Grow. And that's what i love about them. Rui "i've never seen nene shine like that before" kamishiro. Nene "i like your shows" kusanagi. I just i love them so much.

Ruinene i also consume both platonically and romantically but with like. a veer toward romantic. the way i write them is like if theyre dating but i rarely ever establish that fact (like i'll never have them outright say it) unless i'm writing with Explicit Polysho. I jjust. I love them so bad. I write the most for them i. draw the most for them. I love them.

in terms of what i want for future events WELL NENE5 IS LITERALLY RIIIIGHT AROUND THE CORNER and i i OUGH i do want rui to give a little help to her. i want rui to be there for her again. maybe a bit more forward this time because nene might go "oh i should handle this by mself" when shes in need ofhelp. Lalala. God save us all

AND I THINK THATS IT. HTNAK YOU FOR THE ASK>!!! I ENJOYED TALKING

[candyredmusings]

“Another One Of Those ‘Things My Discord Said’ Sentence Starters.

Things taken from DMs and a few group chats from Discord. CW: NSFT Change / Edit as necessary !

i am literally tom cruise

cum is cool.

[NAME]  is fucked up cus he is straight man

[NAME]  show me your fuckin tits

[NAME], you better not be standing catatonic in your room wearing your handmade jigsaw robe again.

its like they creampied me but instead of cum it was new music

like what about my pussy-area makes u think sea cucumber

the mind is weak. but the body is funky

so im reading that fanfic where 1d like, buys your soul or whatever and im shook

well tom servo is a sex god

and then i freaked it

FUCK YOU APPLE JACK FUCK

ILL SLURP WITH YOU

LEMME SHOW U DICK

ITS A SIDE QUEST YOU SILLY BITCH

I’m a zombie the law can’t stop me

LEAVE YOUR GOLDEN UNCRUSTABLES OUT OF MY HOME I WILL NOT FALL VICTIM TO THY TRICKERY

you, telling me to ignore a twink with side swept brown hair? foolish.

Hes so hot i briefly started texting like a straight person

and because I’m god and I’ve decided that. No. In fact. I’m not done.

MY DUMB BOTTOM BRAIN FOLLOWS COMMANDS TOO WELL

[NAME], I know you love bloopy reggae jams. Now is not the time

OH THATS WHAT I THOUGHT YOUD SAY YOU STUPID ACCIDENTAL HIMBO DEMON

man i rlly am attracted to paul mccartney.

its not that kennedy was gay af sleeping w jackies fat ass out, he just has a better one-

jealous of my massive honkeers

YOU BRAINCELLED BITCH

this forced open my third eye and i saw the devil--

oh me seeming romantically interested in u is making u uncomfortable?? noted

the only pussy this party city shake out wig looking mother fucker is getting

[NAME]  expose your teeth right fucking now

IN THE DEPARTMENT OF OLD MAN FUCKING, WEVE GOT YOU BEAT

What if we kissed while one of us got called racist and we are both boys

i just jacked it to minecraft piss porn

I will pop a huge tentacle boner

i hate females fr fr

we left u to die to play minecraft

IM GONNA FRICKLE-FRACK YOUR WIFE

CAN I KARATE CHOP IT LIKE IN SPONGEBOB

DWIGHT FROM THE OFFICE IS NOT MY SKRUNKLY

she would never ever take away one of these stupid fucking hats

My brother in Christ you’re being haunted

i want to wring you like a wet towel and slap u against a wall

Yeah you'll come to learn I just have a thing for milk

Piss ur pants harder pls I wanna watch

I'm gonna corn on the kill myself

good morning to parappa and his stans. everyone else..... hi ig

lol look at this clown with no slurs

God has abandoned his children but unfortunately for you I pay child support and I will smite thee.

this is how I reveal myself to be homophobic

I have no sluts

idk what it is abt it but boba makes me become like an actual whore

im homophobic suddenly

he was like ‘You're so big”.... and i just started crying

anyones penis can be hard hes not special

for the love of god please help me

i can talk about piss for hours

im sorry i havent recognized mickey mouse clubhouse ost as the cultural landmark that it is

I ASKED IF WE WOULD RP AFTER FUCKING BIBLE STUDY OR WHATEVER

the benefits of being a yandere is that i dont have to forgive OR forget and I am a living breathing PVP zone so Fuck with me white boy.

When toxic by ashnikko comes on I enter the gaslight gatekeep phases of my girlbosshood

im like a child in line for the newest fucked up disney ride

[NAME] is just all fucking Sorts of fucked up

im clownfaking

why are we here? to suffer? every other day i get messages from a whore

always thinking abt when my friend called me a "white boy whore"

you gotta PUMP the errand girl with cocaine

im beyond shame bc i love all cock try again

people have fetishes.

They really do crucify anyone these days huh

u may have never hungered for cock but you have hungered for a sub sandwich and honestly? theyre basically the same thing-

hi im drawing hentai

[NAME] idk why but that really. makes me want to stab you

“Don't have sex FOMO, [NAME], no! “

“TRY AND NUKE THIS, BITCH.”

“There's a group of golden skeletons behind you hitting the griddy “

“GRANDPA’S ASHES SUCKED MY COCK AND TOOK ME TO ARBYS.”

“You’re lanky with no gender and silly goofy with the rizz it works.”

“You can’t just tell me I could be a Tumblr sexy man to my face at 4:30 PM.”

"I have strong opinions about the soviet union"

“CALL THAT PUSSY THE MATRIX CAUSE IM IN THIS BITCH AND I CANT GET OUT “

“dont cry. 8000 types of reptiles on the planet, okay?”

[NAME] lives his life like he’s an RPG character but picks only the rude dialogue options.”

“I need to beat off to this before God destroys California.”

"No amount of pussy could get me on a rollercoaster with three loops"

"I love your senior citizen pussy"

"Gerber is pretty reliable .. I mean .. The Gerber baby didn't die .... did it?"

“you are white i assume”

"I hate you terrorist, and you may quote me on that"

"I love watching you play minecraft. It's like watching a baby fawn."

"I've never seen old men who fuck harder."

"i don't need him to KILL i need him to FUCK ME"

"well maybe if you just dicked down your wife she wouldn't have gone on a murderous slut rampage"

"why cant these BIG titty bimbos stop HANGING around me"

[missmeinyourbones]

kin assign your moots :)

ok this has been sitting in my drafts for so long and kin is too hard so i decided to ship my mutuals... so basically i am not answering ur question but alas here we are

also i have a lot of mutuals so i think im just gonna do a few rn... maybe the ones i interact w the most or who i see the most on my dash ???? idk i also haven't talked to some of my mutuals bc im a dumb scared baby so if you are not on this list please do not crucify me i love u and if anyone wants a ship/more of these pls ask me i swear i can be normal

@crysugu - why do i wanna say... d-d-deku.... I DONT KNOW something about him is making a lot of sense with you! two lil sweethearts who are so so selflessly kind but ik u guys are Freaks when it comes to one another....

@soumies - i know megumi is such a safe answer but its so real... like so real i cant even think of another name to put down here. my two sweet little babies !!! :3 ;P you match one another energies so well... i trust him in ur hands (and more importantly, i trust u in his)

@alert-arlert - porco LMFAO its always gonna be porco with you ryn! i want you to walk him like a dog so fucking badly. he is so annoying and you are so powerful i just KNOW you have the ability to tame him. close second is hange tho for similar but less intense reasons

@ghostbeam - again there is no answer that is not dabi... but weirdly... i see you with dabi more than touya ??? idk something about the dabi-eqsue yearning closed barriers angsty dark love that shouldn't work but it does fits you guys so well. an icon in the dabi universe is what you are

@demxnscous - im fearful that im saying osamu. and im saying this because the way u write him is so RAW that you cant not be soulmates. i swear you could turn anyone on to him and THAT right there is such a power to wield.... the power of ur love for that man deserves this title

@izurou - SUNA please my favorite suna baby. he annoys you and you let him and its so beautiful. you just get him !!!!! which is tough but you're tougher. i think about ur characterization of him all the time, specifically in the routine and thursday and i could cry with how lovely he is when it comes to you

@augustinewrites - augustine.... you feel so Classy to me. like in my mind u radiate the purest of elegance. a god-tier creator on this app amongst us mere mortals. i feel like your poetic way of existing could compliment sakusa really well! the two of you are so sexi you look like you'd bully people but in reality are so kind just a bit intimidating

@maplesuna - maple i love the idea of you and atsumu becuase i cant stand him half of the time and i absolutely adore you so i love the concept him just being absolutely whipped for you. like u boss him around and he adores it and i get to watch it all front row w some buttery popcorn

@touyangel - sunny my baby you are so sugary sweet i know that hawks would treat u sooooo good. because hes kind and a little fucked up but you truly see the very best in everyone and i think you could save that man from himself. also pls take his #2 hero money u deserve fancy things

@utahimeow - gojo!!!! char u are one of my go to gojo babies whenever i want to giggle and make fun of him or completely tear my hair out thinking about him...i know ur always game. u understand him so well!!!! u are also not afraid to humble him <3 which i love

@kentoangel - choso. choso choso and choso. i know u love him but it feels so right. u guys are like a quiet kind of morning love... like when you sit in a sunlit window and don't need words to explain how you feel. also i think about your mango piece every day of my life... need i say more?

[spidergwen-real-notclickbait]

hello gamers here is another one of my infamous rants you can all ignore but im saying this all to countless people on Tumblr coz none of you know me irl so its less embarrassing but like...

I know ive complained about this before but ive had some realisations but im literally 21 tomorrow (in a few hours) and it still really upsets me that ive never had a relationship but ive been thinking about it and it literally is all my fault like... I have such cripplingly low self esteem I physically cannot believe that someone would ever be into me and just for example, there was this guy I went on a date w from tinder like a year ago now and he was rly nice but I freaked out bc he wanted to sleep w me on the fist date and that terrified me coz it was the first date I went on since I was assaulted so I just ignored him after that... but he messaged me again a few months later wanting to meet up again and I was fucking stupid and cancelled last minute.. like sorry for the long story but just an example of how I freak the fuck out whenever someone shows any interest in me.. and also I found out a few days ago that he has a gf now and I just hate myself sm coz that couldve been me yk?? but its happened so many times where someone asks me out or shows interest and I just reject them.. and then I wonder why ive never been in a relationship like it literally is all my fault.. there was this girl I was sort of seeing for a bit but she just texted me one day and now she's dating her housemate and there was this guy a bit ago that I really fucking liked but he messaged me at fucking 4am one day saying 'sorry for leading u on but im not ready for a relationship' and like???? why were you on hinge then??? and why did you spend all night every night for god knows how long saying how u can't wait to see me again???? like I know a relationship isn't the point of life but when nearly all my friends are in v serious relationships, like moving in together and talking about family shit, I just rly feel like ive missed out and I just wanna know what it feels like to love someone and have my heartbroken and shit like that what every other person I know has and... idk sorry this is so long its just rly upsetting me but I dont have anyone else to talk to coz I dont know anyone else in this situation sorry guys

[spacexcowgirl]

rose i've come here to bug u w questions 🐛

first of all what are ur thoughts on james potter 👀

2. u have to fight one of the marauders (think long and hard about this), and they get to use magic BUT you get to be a vampire (like twilight style with the sparkly skin and vampire powers). who are you fighting and what would your vampire magic trick be to fight them. both u and the character are at full potential

and 3. what is ur hottest marauders take?

MAGGIE

I was on the Tumblr app and I had to grab my laptop and pull up Tumblr.com just to respond to this first one. I have all the thoughts about James Potter. Always. Everyday. Everywhere.

James Potter to me is just. He is everything. He is naturally charismatic, and lovable, and maybe he doesn't even think about it, but he brightens spaces. But, in my head, he's also trying so fucking hard. Because he's had it so good, he loves his parents, he loves his friends, and everything is right, but it shouldn't be, you know? Sirius is struggling, Remus is struggling, Peter is (quietly) struggling, and James sees that, and he's just. trying to pick up the slack. he is trying to rest the world on his shoulders for the people he loves, and that's beautiful to me.

BUT. what's most beautiful to me about James, in my head, is the way he feels. Obviously we are limited with what we know about him in canon, but even canon aside, he's just this character that to me is operating under the pretense of helping/"fixing" the people he loves, and he's fucking it up. He's making it harder for himself. He's causing collateral damage. he's doing what he can and what he can do isn't always enough.

He's trying, and it's slipping through his fingers.

I DONT KNOW MAGGIE. I've gone on plenty of James rants to you, but I love him deeply, and I see him clearly in my head, and I just get him. I get his struggles, I get his guilt, I get his arrogance, I get all of it. He's doing his best, and he's a kid who's always had it easy, and he's learning now that sometimes your best isn't always enough. Sometimes it's out of your hands. Sometimes you hurt people. It's all growth, and I love that.

2. Maggie BABES thank you for this question.

I'm not even worrying about the marauders character yet. I am first and foremost thinking of my twilight vampire power, and I think the answer is obvious.

I can have any power in the twilight universe world? I'm taking Zafrina and Senna, who have this visual projection power. Like these bitches can completely change your perception of reality with their MINDS. That's what I want.

I could fight anyone with that power and still win (cocky assumption probably idc) but like. You wanna point your lil wand at me? where am I? you don't know. We are now in the amazon rainforest and there are 6 of me. Try to figure it out.

to completely finish your question, though, I will choose someone. I'm gonna go with mmmm... James. my angel. I think I hc ADHD (bc same) onto him, so this is unfair, but I could just completely overwhelm him and win. and if the goal is to win, that's the choice I'm making.

3. oooooh my hottest marauders take. I feel like I could go a few ways with this.

first of all, I think the fandom as a whole is too discourse-y. Especially for a fandom that is like. completely made up. Like how are you about to argue about how a character is portrayed when we have almost 0 basis in it? just let people think what they think. it does not matter that much, just don't engage with what you don't agree with.

for a hot take on the actual characters??? I think that Sirius would not freak out about jegulus. SORRY. but like. I love the idea of dramatic Sirius, and I get it, but also, no. Maybe I'm just biased because I have younger sisters and I can't imagine being that dramatic over what they do, but idk. Realistically, I imagine Sirius would just be like "ew. Okay. don't hurt each other bc I don't want to deal w it." and that would be that. I can still accept a dramatic Sirius freak out, but it's just not the way I see it typically going. (this is also based on the backstory, and I do think there is sometimes reason for Sirius to freak out, but usually it would be more for James than for regulus. idk)

anyways! thank u for the questions Maggie I love writing random essays <3

[neige-leblanche]

kinda stupid vent post, gonna try not to let it show up in any searches but sorry if it does, also mentions of ñsfw so i'd prefer minors didn't read

i just found out the frontman of the o/rion experience flirted with a bunch of minors & besides obviously being upset bc i'd loved their music, i had their song sugar on my r/ookneige playlist which . with the added context some of the lyrics are INCREDIBLY uncomfortable. & like. i do like r/ookneige in part bc r/ook is almost uncannily worldly whereas n/eige is sweet & a little stupid. and i was reminded of a time i read a ñsfw fanfic that i loved in part bc it involved a lot of doting & praising and then when i went to the author's profile to see their other fics was immediately smacked with adult/minor fic (sh/eith specifically, not like a 16 & 18y/o). which was just like. chilling bc the signs were there in the fic that i *did* like. and both of these experiences just make me feel like. am i disgusting in that way?????? i would never support fooling around with teenagers like that & i feel shocked and disgusted as anyone else when i hear about it. but like,, im terrified im just naturally predisposed to be gross like that & everything i enjoy is just a sign pointing towards the fact.

i don't wanna put anything in the tags bc that would be visible without the readmore so im gonna spitball a little in the next paragraph but u dont have to read it

and like. im on the asexual spectrum so this isnt entirely relevant to me. and also ive been in online kink spaces that v much stress the safe sane & consensual thing so i think of myself as someone w a fair enough grasp of that & sex-positivity in general. but stuff like this never fails to freak me out bc as clear as the line between Pervert (affectionate) & Pervert (derogatory) can be, im always gonna be scared of being the latter . or like. somebody seeing me as the latter whose values r different than mine (which ig is bound to happen to anyone talking outright abt ñsfw & kink since views vary so much; nobodys harrassed me yet bc i do try to be clear & respectful always; hopefully can keep that up🙏) but yeah. these situations always end up with Me feeling dirty too not just disgusted @ something external and i guess im just. terrified of the day when i realize im an awful person who's been disgusting everyone i've come into contact with & when no amount of sex positivity can save me . and idk if everybody has these fears or not. or like. the evidence backing up said fears

[oflgtfol]

so for context me and this guy went to the same college for undergrad together. we were in the astronomy club together. we didnt start talking until the last like two years of my time there? because my first two years were spent with me being a reclusive freak who couldnt make friends or speak to anyone, and then online meetings because of covid. it was just casual like oh hi we are in the same club together to then like him being one of the people i gravitated towards for small talk because i didnt know anyone wlse in the club but he was really outgoing and became a board member so it was still like. We’re friendly and will chat but we arent friends yknow!

he wound up graduating before me by like a year but he met up with us for an astro club trip during the fall semester of my senior year. he had mentioned he worked at [redacted place] and so i was like 👉👈 how do u get a job there. and he gave me his boss’s email and then lo and behold when i graduated i emailed him and got the job as well

Now additional context this guy is like, 30? i think somewhere around there. and so by now he’s worked here for years enough to where he actually has a full time job elsewhere and only comes in here once a week

and so yknow once i got hired i didnt work a shift with him till like months after i started so then it was like oh im working X shift i’ll finally get to catch up with him lol!! but nowadays im working much more consistent and nearly full time hours here so i overlap with him at least once a month and so i’d say after actually working with him like we’re real friends now not just friendly hi there clubmates lulz

so then last weekend, the day before i overlapped a shift wirh him, i was alone in the building and panicking cuz i needed something so i was in the company slack like Hi everyone. Do you know where this important object is. and this guy was the first one to respond and was the only one whose response was actually helpful. so then when i worked with him rhe following day he asked how that went and i was filling him in and he was like, wait how do i not have your number? cuz u could just text me instead of feeling embarrassed for going into the whole company slack asking for help. so yknow like we’re friends AND coworkers now so its like whatevers yeah lol lets swap numbers who cares

but im so used to like, when swapping numbers w coworkers, to pretty much only talk about work stuff until we get more comfy talking outside work, and then occassionally move into brief casual conversations. so imagine my surprise when he just comes right out the bat swinging w the casual conversations. and its like yeah ok like we have years long history prior to working together as coworkers but its also like, i feel like we only actually became legit friends after working together??? so like idk there is still the coworkerly aspect to it that i cant shake

And so i start my joking along bc yeah whayever im not gonna make it weird but then like. i am an atrocious texter. i can and will take days to respond if not entire weeks. but yknow i have to work with this guy so i dont wanna leave him hanging and make things weird so after like 2-3 days i make sure to respond but then still leave things sparse, mostly because i was busy as fuck this week

so today he texts me while im on my break. the daily break schedules are posted publicly basically for anyone in our department to see regardless of if theyre actively working at the momsnt. so he texts me maybe 5 mins into my break and im like oh man is this a coincidence or not. and his text was like “why dont you stay late today so we can work a full shift together. no reason. just to hang out haha” LIKE HUH?? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN???? and thats what prompted me to make that hmmmm post earlier today. like its not weird enough for my hackles to rise but its also like. Im baffled? im gobsmacked?

so im like man he can see im on my break i have no excuse to not text to finally i respond again and im like lol sorry i cant im so tired ive been working a lot this week (A. ive been looking forward to finishing malevolent s4 tonight all week long and i cannot do that if im working a surprise 14 hour shift. B. i am genuinely so tired and i really just need a nice night in. it was indeed a long week and C. it is a casual hint that like hi im not like purposefully ignoring you i just suck at texting because im so incredibly busy all the time)

AND HIS RESPONSE IS “AWW YEAH YOU WORK A LOT 🥺” LIKE. HUH ?!?! HUH ⁉️⁉️ Im even MORE baffled, even MORE gobsmacked than i was before. why are you a 30 year old man using 🥺 ????? and he says “no worries, our shifts still overlap so i’ll see you tonight” LIKE YEAH I KNOW ALREADY. I ACTUALLY LOOK AT THE SCHEDULE (he also has famously announced he never looks at the schedule because he always works the same singular shift every week - why is he looking at the schedule suddenly ????) HUH? HUH??? HUH?

like i really feel like im overthinking this and he’s just being friendly and potentially we have different ideas of what exactly our friendship entails and so i do not want to be like hey hi yeah we were classmates and all and you were one of the few friendly faces to me back when i was struggling to make any friends at all, and i do not want to insult those years by implying that like we arent actually friends enough to joke around and tex outside work related stuff, but also like. I am someone who requires either a decade of talking to someone daily, or like a trauma filled blood pact, to become actual friends with. so like yeah i would in fact call our friendliness in college something akin to friends but theres a difference between friends and Friends(TM) yknow? so im just left feeling absolutely fucking baffled by all this. Im baffled. bewildered even

[skinnyponie]

so

I texted her

we made up

but now im not sure what to do bc some old resentment about past situations came up and I feel like I might be choosing a man over her?

so first of all..

my current bf texted me out of nowhere while I was at her house (before we got together) and she immedietly said "wow he must be lonely" as if to imply he would never message me otherwise bc he never liked me as a friend and would talk to shit about me

AND THEN when i was talking about possibly hanging out w him she asked me not to bc she believed he was only texting me to get through to her again bc

get this

they had hooked up behind her boyfriends back (who was also his best friend.. but we'll get to that later..) and she succesfly gaslit her bf into thinking it didnt happen and that he just wanted to tell a lie to break them up bc according to her he was OBSESSED w her (which we'll ALSO get to later bc believe me.. i was convinced for a sec too)

so she was like "dont spend fourth of july w him, you shouldnt trust him, if you do I wanna put our friendship on pause bc it makes me uncomfortable, just hang out w me on the fourth instead, you should cancel on him immedietly like rn"

but i was like ah.. idk.. I dont wanna tell him the whole spiel ill just cancel the day of so I can fake that im sick or smth but omfg..

on the fourth im texting her all day asking the details, where we're meeting, if shes gonna pick me up, giving ideas on what we'll do.. LAST MINUTE this girl calls me an hour before she knows im supposed to get off work and is like "sorry, my bf planned something special for me as a surprise so we wont be able to hang, im so sorry" BRUH WHAT

so thank god I didnt cancel on him bc hoooly shit... best weekend ive had in years, I had forgotten how much fun it was to be around him. plus we havent really been apart besides work since- ive actually never felt so in love and so perfectly matched with another person in my life.

we talked SO much that weekend and allllll of my questions were answered. I finally got the other side of the situation.

their affair- he had always liked her not just bc she was a beautiful girl but bc she would say things like "yeah I love nerdy guys who work on computers and I love guys who know a lot about science and can fix stuff its so hot" which were things that his best friend and him had in common but it was clear to anyone with eyes that he was the better of them at those things.

it felt like she was trying to "hint" something- especially with how she would look at him when she said it.

but he would NEVER do that to his bf, he was just ready in line if they broke up yknow? I mean, his bestfriend had asked out his ex after they broke up, how would it be any different? UNTIL they started hanging out one on one for a project he needed help on (and the bf had a job so he would just drop her off when he couldnt help with them) and she started opening up about her bfs verbal abuse and neglectful behavior and how she couldnt take it anymore and how she needed to leave but had nowhere to go and his entire opinion changed on his best friend and suddenly she was flirting back and one thing led to another yknow..

he thought it was going to be a done deal, she would leave her bf, come live with him instead, and the best friend in question would be dropped bc now she had her out.

not what happened at all obviously- he confronted his best friend with what happened the next day and she denied it up and down and said he was lying to make her single and he was kicked out of the friendgroup and blocked forever.

would you still have attraction towards someone who would do something like that to you? lead you on and lie to you and everyone around you? no.

I think she thought so bc he texted her after the bf knew but wouldnt believe him saying "can we please talk, youre the only person I can open up to and im really freaking out rn" just so he could get a recording of her admitting it so she could show the bf. didnt work.

AND as far as he knew when he messaged me- her and I were not on speaking terms anymore. he didnt even ask me about her until I told him her and I had made up- and he mostly just wanted to know if she had told me the truth. surprise! he just actually wanted to talk to me!

she didnt tell me the full truth, just everything that made him look bad and her look like a weak, innocent creature who made the worst mistake of her life. even mentioned how disgusting she found him.

and then I asked him about how he would talk about me to them..

he admitted he didnt say very nice things. he admitted he complained about my drug usage along with them, but he also told me he was mostly eating up the things HER and her bf were saying about me- all the fights we had in their perspective and how crazy and bad they made me look. he percieved me as "their" friend since I did hang out with them much more than with him even though him and I had known each other the longest out of anyone in the group.

it wasnt like I didnt know the things they said after our fights bc they would tell me to my face- but they were so much meaner from his perspective. and it wasnt like he was telling me to convince me he was innocent and to not talk to her anymore bc I already wasnt... it just made it easier not to.

she did apologize for how they would treat me when we were making up- like any anxiety I had was bc I smoked weed and that all of my decisions were childish and that they were saviors to me from my ex boyfriend and I was in complete control in choosing to stay away from him (which anyone in an abusive relationship can tell you- its easier said than done to stay away from a violent, obsessive partner) but somehow.. it didnt make the resentment from all those fights just go away like they had when I was missing her.

then I realized she only texted me when she was lonely or had something to get off her chest she couldnt tell her (new) bf or her other friend bc of conflict of interest with her ex (the one she cheated on and eventually did end up breaking up with)

a part of me still feels bad though- I havent told her why ive been ignoring her, but she also hasnt opened a message I sent on snapchat from july and has only messaged me twice since then (once to get another conflict of interest thing off her chest and the other to apologize for ignoring me after standing me up on the fourth) and part of me feels confused bc she was one of the only girls ive ever been able to fully enmesh with and relate to.

but I obviously wouldnt want my bf and her hanging out again, I trust him but I cant even handle him saying thank you to female customer service workers im so insecure and possesive, but it works bc hes that way with me too. sometimes hes honestly the more codependent of the two of us, he needs more attention from me than I do from him (but ofc I eat it up)

ik we're not the healthiest couple but we both knew and expressed how neither of us were ready for a relationship for each of our own insecurities but agreed we love each other too much to not at least try to change together and so far its been working out wonderfully.. ive stopped smoking weed and hes improved his work ethic and we've both been slowly growing confidence- things that felt impossible before we came together.

anyways..

ik no ones going to read all that but it felt good to finally get off my chest in a way that didnt feel like I was burdening my bf or reminding him of a past hookup.

its so embarrassing knowing one of my biggest motivations in losing weight is the possibility of having my ex best friend back.

i was so shitty to her in my insecurities. i was being self conscious and weak minded and i miss her presence in my life so bad...... 

i just know if I was thin all of that bs would melt away.

her old edtwitter is like my bible i have that shit pinned.

its crazy how many ghosts i got in this body influencing me everyday..... ghosts i killed essentially lol.

sometimes my brain gets confused and i miss assholes like k lol ew

i hit her up on my spam and it was the awkwardest thing in my life i get a pain in my abdomen thinking abt it ughhh.

bpd moment flipping from hating people and needing them completely out of your life to putting them on a pedestal like you let a demigod slip through your fingers wtf.

[strwbrymlkshake]

so upset and disgusted my stomach hurty </3

[moodr1ng]

attending lgbt spaces irl when youre very used to your irl lgbt friends being trans and very understanding of trans issues is so wild bc youre like. oh this lgbt space has basically no transitioning trans people and no one here has any idea of what my experience is and we are like miles apart in life experience and some people here cant even begin to grasp what i deal with

[pepprs]

this kinda fucking sucks actually!

[lifealteringtimesandwich]

HIIII errrrmmmm

1. are you named after anyone?

nah i mean i picked my name and i think i got it from some random person in the forum post but thats just like. where i saw the name n it stuck w me

2. when was the last time you cried?

i like actually never cry its really weird. probably when i thought to hard abt seeing idkhow live that never fails to freak me out

3. do you have kids?

oh hell nah mans i am in highschool

4. what sports do you play?

none!!!!!

5. do you use sarcasm?

yes alot

6. whats the first thing you notice about people?

i mean how they look idk how you can notice anything else FIRST

7. whats your eye color?

hazel!!! i have central heterochromia tho so i have like these dark blue rings around them

8. scary movies or happy endings?

im not a huge movie guy like at all n i like horror but ig happy wndings??? if its done right idk

9. any talents?

i dont have any talents but im okay at drawing and not great at playing bass

10. where were you born?

the us :P

11. what are your hobbies?

listening to music, playing bass, drawing, consuming the content i enjoy incredibly obsessively, playing da video games

12. do you have any pets?

two cats!!!!! <3

13. how tall are you?

5’6, maybe 5’6 and 1/2??? i forgor

14. favorite subject in school?

idk it rly depends on the teacher.. in terms of just general subject i’d say art or like science or history??? but this year soooo many of my teachers suck.. maybe spanish??? ive always liked spanish. i also like chem cuz i got friendz in it

15. dream job?

idk!!! if go 2 college i wanna go for like zoology but currently my hope is to be like a roadie for a bit!!!!!!

i never @ anyone but uhh do this if u want itz fun!!!

15 Questions 15 Mutuals

The rules are: Answer the 15 questions and tag 15 of your mutuals.

ty @trvbblemaker for the tag :D

Are you named after anyone?

not that i know of

2. When was the last time you cried?

like last week after the orthodontist lmao

3. Do you have kids?

i have plants

4. What sports do you play/have played?

i did gymnastics and dance now i do nothing~

5. Do you use sarcasm?

it's somewhat of a coping mechanism

6. What's the first thing you notice about people?

how they dress/their hair

7. What's your eye color?

hell if i know

8. Scary movies or Happy endings

happy endings :]

9. Any talents?

i'm rlly good at overthinking and ignoring problems (like genuinely tho ig i'm good at art)

10. Where were you born?

america 🇺🇸 (i hate it here)

11. What are your hobbies?

crocheting, watching shows, drawing

12. Do you have any pets?

cat named otis <3

13. How tall are you?

i think technically 5'4 1/2"

14. Favorite subject in school

art

15. Dream Job?

something i don't hate hopefully in an art field

no pressure tags: @newtness532 @lirdgorl @rainysaturdayafternoon @justkeepwalkingnothinghere @snek-amiga @deusetco @crayonssmellgood @arshemelsoe @lizvi @bbreaddog @noworneverphantom + open tag