#i love yandere culture and everything but i only want a yandere relationship thats not based on exploiting weaknesses

[strwbrymlkshake]

so upset and disgusted my stomach hurty </3

[lilac-masquerade]

Irritation Bonus

          It’s been three years and Illinois’s sentence was ending. Yancy was upset so Illinois and he were allowed to spend the whole day cuddled up on the bottom bunk. Yancy was trying his best to hold back tears but it was near impossible. Illinois was running a hand gently up and down Yancy’s back. “How long is you’re sentence?” Yancy let out an emotionless chuckle, “69 years.” Illinois looked at him in shock before laughing, “What?” Yancy smiled up at him, “The judge gave me 68 years and I didn’t think it would make much of a difference so I asked for one more.” Illinois shook his head, “You’re amazing dove.” Yancy smile dropped, “I don’t want to lose youse.” Illinois planted a gentle kiss on Yancy’s head, “I’ll visit every third Sunday, and you know that the guards will let me sneak in whenever I want.”

          Yancy shrugged, “It won’t be the same though…” Illinois was about to answer when a guard spoke up from in front of their cell, “Hey, Yancy, Illinois. Someone is here to see you.” They both looked up confused. Illinois cast a glance at Yancy, “It’s not visitation day, is it?” Yancy shook his head, “No it's not.” The guard opened the door and the two stood up, still confused. Yancy put his hand into Illinois’s and stepped closer. To anyone else, Yancy’s proud stature and tense shoulders would show that he was prepared for anything, but the way that he held tightly onto Illinois’s hand showed how nervous he truly was to the adventurer.

          The two followed the guard to a room that was reserved for detectives to ask convicts questions. The two looked at each other, even more confused. The guard nodded at them to go in. Yancy squeezed Illinois’s hand harder before entering the room.

           In the room was a man. He was dressed in a fine white suit and his hands were held together in front of him. He had black hair that hung over his left eye, and his skin appeared to be grey. They both stared at the man in shock, before Illinois broke the silence, “Nice suit, and must I say that eyeliner is a nice touch.” Yancy snorted as the man raised an eyebrow. The two sat down as the man leisurely waved a hand for the guard to leave. Illinois looked at Yancy shocked, both of them were wondering just who this guy was. 

          When the room was empty of all other personal the man spoke, “Greetings, I know you are wondering who I am but if you take my offer, you’ll find out soon enough. For now, you can just call me Dark.” Yancy spoke up suspiciously, “What offer. I hope youse know that thises my joint.” Dark frowned, “I know that you two have gotten close, I also know that Illinois’s sentence is ending.” Yancy tensed, “What does thats have to do with anything?” Dark held up a hand, “Let me continue. Yancy, your sentence will go on for a long time, even if you do decide to take parol. That means that you won’t be able to keep the same relationship with Illinois.” Yancy looked down, obviously upset at the reminder, “I know.” Illinois tensed up and let go of Yancy’s hand only to wrap it around his shoulder, pulling the man closer to himself. 

          Dark ignored the protective movement, “What I’m offering will only ever come from me. You two can come live at my place. Yancy, because of your sentence you will be under a sort of house arrest. You cannot leave the house under any circumstances. Well unless Wilford sets the place on fire, but that’s beside the point.” Yancy’s mouth dropped open and Illinois stared at Dark in shock. “Are, are youse serious. I means I’m not even sure that I’ll like your place,” Yancy stuttered. Dark nodded, “You can stay with us for a month if you decide that it is not to your liking you can come back here.”

           Yancy looked at Illinois with shock and hope, but there was still uncertainty in his eyes. Dark stood up and started to exit the room, “I’ll let you make your decision alone, but do keep it quick, I have other things I need to do.” He then left the room, letting the door close behind him. Yancy turned to face Illinois, “I, I don’t think I’s belong out there. I’m not sure if I’m ready.” Illinois smiled, “Trust me, you’re ready. You are so incredibly amazing, and you’ve been such a good person. Sure the culture shock would suck, but you’re not going outside so it won’t be as bad. Plus if you don’t feel comfortable you can come back here, I won’t judge” Illinois’s caressed Yancy’s cheek, smiling slightly when Yancy leaned into his touch. Yancy smiled his eyes closed, “I’ll take the offer.” Illinois chuckled and kissed Yancy’s forehead, “Then I will too.”

          The door opened as the two pulled away and Dark’s absurdly deep voice met their ears, “Are you two done like I said I have other business to attend to.” Illinois rolled his eyes, “Pushy aren’t you, but yeah we take your deal.” Dark grinned, “I knew you would now follow me.” Yancy tilted his head confused, we’re just going to walk out?” Dark raised an eyebrow, “Yes. Problem?” Illinois and Yancy looked at each other thinking the same thing, who is this man?

          When they got outside Dark led them to a secluded area which instantly rose the anxiety of the two ex-prisoners. When they were out of sight from any people or cameras everything seemed to glitch out until the two were standing in front of a giant mansion. Before the two could ask anything Dark held up a hand, “I know you two are confused, but there will be much more… puzzling things ahead so I suggest that you prepare yourselves.” The two glanced at each other once more, both wondering if they made the right choice.

          When Dark opened the door two men dressed exactly the same and looked exactly the same, slid into the hallway, “Welcome back Dark Jim and other Jims, we are Jim!” Yancy blinked, confused, “So youses both Jim?” Dark rolled his eyes, “They’re twins, but they’re one of the more normal residents of this house.” As Dark finished speaking a man with a pink mustache, a pink bowtie, a yellow dress shirt, and rainbow suspenders walked out of a different room dragging what looked like a body. He also wasn’t wearing any pants. Illinois nodded, “I see…” Dark looked behind him and sighed exasperatedly, “Goddamnit Wilford, put on some goddamn pants, and what have I said about killing people in the house, wait… IS THAT MY BRAND NEW CARPET, I JUST BOUGHT THAT WILFORD. THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS”

          “The Host watched the scene, as best as he could with a blindfold on, mildly amused,” Someone said from the place where the Jims originally stood. Dark sighed and ran a hand through his hair, “I’m sure they’ll all introduce themselves, make yourself at home.” Illinois and Yancy watched as Dark seemed to vanish, terrified. “HI, You must be the newbies! It’s great to meet you!” The two looked over to see a man with red hair in a schoolgirl outfit on. Illinois raised an eyebrow, “Well he doesn’t look that bad.” The man smiled, “Oh I’m not. Unless you try to take my senpai, then I cut you into tiny pieces, and I’ll make it slow. Oh, my name’s Yandere by the way.” The man giggled and skipped away.

         The two just stood at the front door, terrified and not wanting to go a step further into the house. “I deeply apologize for their behavior, I am Google, I will give you a tour.” A new man was standing in front of the door wearing a blue shirt with a glowing white G on it. He was also wearing black slacks. His voice was monotone and robotic. Yancy smiled, “Thank youse for the help, I’s was worried theres were no one sane here.” The robot chuckled, “I wonder the same thing sometimes too.” Illinois raised an eyebrow, what was that supposed to mean?

          The robot pointed to himself, “My name is Google, that’s the living room to the right of you.” The two looked over to see A man with a crown arguing to another man, who looked a lot more like a robot. “NO! You cannot use one of my squirrels to make a video!” The robot shrugged, “C'mon man, I just want to push him on a tiny skateboard. It’ll be totally rad!” Illinois and Yancy chuckled at that, it was a pretty ridiculous argument. Google cleared his throat, “The one with the crown is The King of the Squirrels, the other one is Bing.” Bing looked up, “Suh dudes, wanna yeet over here and convince mister fuzzypants that my idea is total ebic!” Illinois laughed, “That’s not exactly my area of expertise.”

          “Google you can stop, for now, I bet the newbies would love to be shown around by me, I mean, hello I am Bim Trimmer,” Someone said from behind the group. Illinois and Yancy turned around to see yet another man. He was dressed in a suit and tie and he wore a confident grin on his face. Behind him was someone else who was trying to hide behind Bim, but he was too tall for it to work properly. “H-h-hi, I’m E-E-Er-Eric…” Illinois raised an eyebrow, “A little shy there, aren’t ya buddy.” Eric nodded, his eyes focused on the handkerchief that he was twisting in his hands. Someone cleared their voice, “Eric I believe that it's time for your checkup, Host just finished his.” Another man in a lab coat stood in the doorway, looking at his watch. “Be polite Edward, we have guests,” Bim said with a flourish of his hand. Edward looked up, an annoyed look on his face, “It’s Dr. Iplier to you. I could have sworn I’d already told you this. Oh sorry, I forgot you were a little to dumb to understand English.” Dr. Iplier looked at the new couple, “Welcome, get out while you can.”

Part 1

OKAY SO SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG! Anyway, this is going to go into a series called Ego Household. I can’t get onto the plot for that yet so Imma get the Christmas special for Ego Household then maybe spit out some side stories. Thank you for reading ^-^ Also I will doing them meeting the septics in the first part of Ego Household so look forward to that