#i dont think people understand how traumatized she actually is
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From improperly shut down, half dying in a pile other discared robots to a mansion that mistreats you and kills their servants for messing up to Cyn trying to kill everyone to trying to stop Cyn but getting controlled instead, witnessing likely (and being responsible) for the death of the person that mattered the most to you and destroying everything on earth to getting entirely reprogrammed to kill, still having the memories of that incident while being forced to work for Cyn
All while getting killed over and over again, each death traumatizing you further, leaving you completely broken and vulnerable to a point where you just give up and no longer resist Cyn because it doesn't matter, your core (the heart that keeps these robots alive in the first place) was destroyed and you came back to life
all while getting orders from Cyn, but it leaves N and V alone as long as they are doing their job
She was entirely forced into the clutches of Cyn further by her death in the pilot and she was around her all this time, having no chance to escape or even grow as her own person
#;playing://bestmonologueever.mp3 (j)#i dont think people understand how traumatized she actually is#she just gave up okay#I would kill for a spin off series that focuses entirely on Cyn and J#because Cyn made sure to break J entirely#and wearing the corpse of Tessa likely did not help at all#it wouldn't surprise me if she also went along because this was the only reminder of Tessa she had#people be like ugh J is so full of herself and egostical and thinks so highly of herself#yes! thats the point!#Its a facade!#she feels like she is the worst so she acts like she is the best#she has put up defensive walls so badly so that nobody could hurt her again#and also hurts others as a result#V rejects her offer to team up and she looks genuinely upset about it#and then instantly 'i never needed either of you'#it was a defense mechanism to protect herself so that she feels like she IS in control of the situation#i think about J a lot since the finale#she doesnt even view herself highly she knows she is just a pet and expandable
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i think the thing that interests me the most about homelander is 10000% the fact that hes redeemable and likable just because of the fact of how much he loves the people he loves and how much he needs to be loved by them. like that makes him SO interesting to me, and the more we discover about him the more his insanity makes sense. the fact that nobody ever in his life saw him as any other than a product or a message or a pennant but never a HUMAN, and the fact that he himself doesnt want to see himself as a HUMAN when he so clearly is because all of this!!! the fact that hes gets so pathetically obsessed with any woman that shows him some love and attention, even if its fake! the way he refused to kill maeve because a part of him genuinely loves her still, the fact that when annie kissed him for the fake dating thing he was genuinely GENUINELY into it, and not in a sexual way. he fucking SMILED into the kiss??????? 'i'm glad you're here'???????????? the way stormfront never gave him any genuine show of affection, when it was clearly all about the sex and the power she had over him and he still didnt see it because he was so glad there was a woman who was willingly giving him what he understood as affection (that for her was just sex) idk i just feel like theres something so innocent about his character that the rest of the guys in the boys dont have - which is a clear reflection of how traumatized he was in the lab, how he never quite understood how to navegate his emotions as a grown up and develop actual self love. he loves homelander, but does he love john? everyone loves homelander, but who loves john? im obsessed. and i love how this spills into things that men who stan him actually would never accept or understand- like the fact that he doesnt even care about looks, he doesnt even care about his own supposed ideals where he considers supes superior to humans. he doesnt even care about loyalty!!!! otherwise hed loved firecracker. he simply wants a woman who will love him, really love him, like nobody ever loved him in his life. (and if you think about it thats soooooooo tragic. imagine not even having parents that love you... not even your own fucking child!!!! despite you doing everything to make him not have to go through what you went through!!!! despite giving him your undivided attention- even when youre one of the most important people in the world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and by the way, im really glad they didnt go for a super easy and predictable storyline where sister sage would pretend she loves him to manipulate him- because that would have been incredibly boring. and one last thing: this is soooo silly and petty but this is why the single most infuriating and insufferable thing in the fandom is the way men stan him, because in universe, theyd literally be the kind of people homelander would fucking hate LMFAOOOO because they ignore all of these essential parts of his character because they are too busy wankin over ashley look at me
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I genuinely don’t understand how people can watch the body swap episode and enjoy seeing Faith inhabit Buffy’s body and WORSE objectifying (Faith)Buffy being like “omg she’s so hot she slayed so hard I love Buffy in black leather”
Not only is SMG’s FRIGHTENING thinness even more apparent in Faith’s traditional wardrobe showcasing just how much she is practically skin and bone due to her being under immense stress and being so overworked which always just tears at my heart in so many ways but we are witnessing the WORST violation of Buffy’s body and autonomy!!!! I’m genuinely just sick the entire episode.
Bad enough she almost gets Buffy killed and finally gets her wish of (temporarily) stealing Buffy’s life which she has wanted to do since her arrival in season 3 (only to STILL not understand Buffy’s perspective until she does it again in a far less invasive way in season 7 after Buffy allowed her back into her home and she still never properly apologizes she’s like hehe turns our your life is actually pretty miserable and I don’t want it because I can’t handle the stress and constant pressure you’re under…. Oops!🙃) but unlike when Willow takes Buffy’s free will and autonomy away (where she at least still retains all the memories after the fact of everything that happened so she doesn’t have to wonder and can process them when she’s ready) Buffy has ZERO CLUE what all Faith allows to happen to her body while she’s not in it. And Faith isn’t unaware or passive about the power she holds and the things she can do to Buffy’s body in the position she’s in - she literally tells Riley, BEGS HIM - to do all of the nastiest things he’s ever wanted to do “to this body” she WANTS Riley to do things to Buffy’s body Buffy herself WOULD. NOT. ALLOW. it is one of THE MOST insidious lines in the entire series to me because not only is that an absolutely stomach churning, bone-chilling thing to say but then after the fact when angel asks what Faith did to upset Buffy so much she’s like “I slept with her boyfriend” like UMMMM WHAT??? EXCUSE ME???? That is literally the absolute LEAST of your crimes bitch be so fucking for real. This horrific violation is minimized down to oh well Buffy is just insecure about sex and especially sex in comparison to Faith like GROSS GROSSSSSSS. The entire thing is SO DISGUSTING and misogynistic AND it is part of why I genuinely do not give A FUCK about the events of seeing red as far as my love of spuffy goes because while that was absolutely the most traumatizing to watch not only was it so completely out of left field and out of character that it just doesn’t make sense in the narrative and is so obviously joss whedon coming over the loud speaker and going “women who enjoy sex with men I don’t approve of should and always will be punished” but it is the ONLY time someone hurts her in this way and PROPERLY APOLOGIZES AND MAKES THE PROPER AMENDS!!!!
So until EVERY. SINGLE. violation of Buffy’s body is treated with the same level of outcry seeing red is by all the anti-spuffys I genuinely DO NOT CARE. I DONT CARE because I’m just so done with spuffy girlies having that thrown in our faces by the morality police who are listening to the tiny white male puritanical cop in their head.
ALSO the fact that Riley not only doesn’t think ANYTHING is off about Buffy (when Faith is doing an absolutely HORRIFIC JOB of acting like Buffy) so he not only sleeps with her BUT TELLS HER HE LOVES HER FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER!??!?!?!? WHILE SHE IS LITERALLY PINNED BENEATH HIM?!?!?!?!? AAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!! RILEY FINN I WILL KILL YOU IF IT IS THE LAST THING THAT I DO.
#hey siri how do I rescue spike buffy and tara from a gaslighting manipulative monster of a creator?#I legit haven’t been able to rewatch Buffy recently because so often it just makes me INSANELY ANGRY#RANT#whew really needed to get that off my chest actually lol#btvs meta#buffy summers we don’t deserve you#buffy the vampire slayer#anti riley finn#spuffy
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I gotta get ur pov on Anakin and Padme after the war(no empire situation) Some ppl seem to think they wouldn’t work out, like divorce, but I don’t agree with that bc Padme didn’t even want to leave him at Mustafar and the only thing that kept her from him was dying and there’s no way Anakin hasnt given her his whole heart to never take back. I think a lot of ppls reasoning is based on wondering how Anakin would handle his mental state(these ppl then ignore Padmes traumas) and how much self sabotage he might do, with a smattering of them never truly getting to be a couple since it had to be so secretive. And then I’ve seen ppl say he wouldn’t be a good dad bc he’s too possessive to a degree of destruction. I dont know tho bc what we got to see was Anakin at his worst and having a mental breakdown. I think abt how he was as a child with his mother and I wonder if he had room to breath and didnt have to lie anymore if he would reconnect to the best of Shmi and what she taught him. Not being groomed by a sith lord anymore would also be a pretty big game changer
this is one of my favorite things to think about!! i don’t think there’s any universe where they aren’t together til the end honestly, though they’ll totally inevitably run into problems because they’d previously spent their marriage not really able to find out how they work as a normal couple. there’s no getting around the fact that they’re both traumatized people who don’t have any experience that lends itself to a non-hierarchical romantic relationship like theirs, especially not under non-strenuous circumstances. but them being able to give each other that escape is what drew them to each other to begin with so it’s a learning curve they’re on together.
anakin specifically is never gonna be 100% mentally healthy because he has led the kind of life that fucks one up forever but plenty of people who are similarly mentally ill are still able to successfully have relationships and be decent/good partners. and the thing about anakin is that he had an unfathomably awful childhood but then when he escaped his old circumstances he never actually stopped being traumatized, but even while getting pretty regularly re-traumatized he was a pretty good husband for the better part of three years. so i don’t see why that would change drastically in a world where that’s not happening and he’s not getting pushed to a breaking point all day every day. he’s constantly stuck in a context that’s enabling pretty much all his worst traits and stunting any healing he could do because you can’t really process childhood trauma while going through even more trauma on the daily that you’re also not processing, so if you took him out of that context he’d pretty automatically be in a better place by nature of no longer having an occupation that traumatizes him faster than he can think about it and requires him to do lots of violence. even if hypothetically he had a full-blown breakdown and self-sabotaged to hell and back in a post-war au, if you remove The War and palpatine from the picture that sabotage is probably going to look a lot less like murdering a bunch of babies and a lot more like regular instability and padmé has proven herself to be so forgiving and understanding of anakin’s issues that she can and will forgive baby murder so long as the motive is sympathetic so why wouldn’t she be understanding about non-mass murder forms of acting out.
i actually think their biggest problem would be that they have pretty polar-opposite relationships with systemic power and hierarchy. they both understand dehumanization and having immense age-inappropriate responsibilities placed upon them, but anakin has spent his entire life in positions of subservience whilst padmé has spent most of hers in positions of power (rather complicated ones where she’s often reduced to a pawn but still). and they’d absolutely clash on those grounds, because they’re stuck in this place of almost understanding each other but not quite and that’s frustrating, and also because they probably have habits related to this that set each other off (i can totally see anakin short-circuiting at padmé slipping into her more authoritative political persona by accident during an argument or something or that turning into an explosive fight). and this is just the kind of thing that would slip out more and more the more time they spend together, but it’s also not relationship-ending.
in general they’d also struggle with working through things because they are both quite stubborn and their previous circumstances forced them into a position of not really being able to linger on any issues or clashes because their time together was so limited and precious, but they love each other so deeply and also just like each other and for two people who want each other in their lives as much as those two do that’s absolutely something they’d learn. it’s really just leaving the honeymoon phase except the honeymoon phase was…war. i really think that especially in a situation where anakin left the order and padmé stepped down as senator they’d have a lot of space to work through it and it’d be more of a matter of learning to be people together after a lifetime of being denied normalcy.
(the question of what kind of parent anakin would be is a more complicated one imo but i do tend to lean towards “decent” because as much as he’s possessive and destructive his ability to be a loving husband and his relative success at training ahsoka tells me he wouldn’t be violently nuclearly bad. you can’t really use darth vader as a basis because his brain looks like swiss cheese at that point and you can’t really call being on the opposite side of a war as your adult son “parenting” even if attempts at creating a familial bond were made. but that’s a whole other convo.)
#it’s perhaps boring to say but i do think ultimately they’re frolicking into the sunset together#the lack of mention of anakin’s possessiveness probably feels glaring here but i really don’t think that’s the biggest problem at all#because they’re weird about each other. ultimately the big problem was unleashing the homicidal urges#the possessiveness is actually pretty much fine when no murder is involved cuz padmé’s her own type of possessive#anakin skywalker#padmé amidala#padme amidala#anidala#star wars#asks
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sometimes i wish that the hunger games movies were casted a little differently. do not get me wrong, i absolutely adore jennifer lawrence and josh hutcherson !! their acting was perfect and felt so incredibly real !!! however, i feel like it was harder for people to truly understand what the entirety of the games were, with how much older they looked compared to their actual age in the book. most people in the cast were in their 20s/30s during the filming of the movie, while in the book they were a lot younger. as seen in the "if it werent for the baby" scene; as humans, we sympathize a lot more with the younger people are. specially babies, kids and teens. yes, the movies did show how disgusting and horrible the games were, however, they did not exactly tap into a lot of peoples "they are just kids" mindset. one of the most memorable parts of the movies, however, is rue (and prims) death, which is one of a kid played by a kid. aka: the "they are just kids" mindset. if katniss, peeta, and gale were casted as they were in the books (16, 16, 18) they (being both the movie writers and the audience) would have focused more on the horribleness of it all, rather than the "love triangle" the movie tried to create to get more viewers. this also goes to show about the fact that people seem to dislike katniss' character for being too "mean" and "rude". in the books, we see a scared, traumatized kid, while the movies see a scared, traumatized adult (yes, i know she was a kid in the movies too, but a lot of people see her as jennifers age at the time, which was in her 20s) and as much as we should treat trauma equally, many people tend to show more sympathy, and understanding of the actions for kids with trauma then adults. this goes for gale as well. in the books, even if you dont like his character, you will be able to somewhat sympathize with him and understand how complex he is (+ this only applies you have common media literacy !!) while in the movies, we see an adult making all of his "mistakes", and think "well, he should know better!" if it were an 18-year-old boy in the movies who had just watched almost all of his district die, having to choose who to and who to not save, and then immediately get manipulated by coin (all while struggling with his grief, and anger towards the world) people would have understood him a lot better. while in the movies we get "prim reaper !! haha !!" "peeta is so much better ! i hate gale !!" (i was going to end this rant here, but i have one more thing and im done, i promise !) a lot of people will only watch the hunger games to talk about how hot, or attractive they find the characters, completely missing the point. these are kids. they are not some character whos whole point of being is for your visual approval. i will see an edit of finnick (i know he isnt a kid, but the point still stands) and the caption will be something like "i need him so badly" "on my knees for this man", and all i can think about is how many of you guys are just proving suzannes point. especially when it comes to finnicks plot, and what he went through because of snow at only 16. i will see people talk online about how much they love this ship, or about how attractive they find this character, but i rarely see anything talking about the actual point of the games (this is mainly only the nonreaders though) the movies completely went over half the audiences head, and i think that is similar as to what happened with tbosas too ("omg ! president snow is so hot !!") suzanne is just going to keep writing books and keep making them in movies, until everyone can finally understand the point of it all.
#i literally have nothing to add#holy guacamole i wrote a lot#oops !!#when i get started on something im passionate about#i hope people actually take the time to read this !!#the hunger games#thg#katniss everdeen#peeta mellark#finnick odair#johanna mason#primrose everdeen#rue barnette#gale hawthorne#hunger games#everlark#odesta
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ranking of yugotalia ships?
im gonna do the most common ones + some rare pares
serbcro
sorry so basic but it’s just too good. they both are just so toxic it actually ends up working. they match each other’s freak but not in a good way. but it’s very interesting and i like thinking about how different their dynamic would be at different points of history. its different than serbbos because there isnt a clear power dynamic and i think they are both equally fucked up but in different ways. they dislike each other, but partily because they're way more similar than you'd think. to both of their dismay, they can understand each other in ways no one else can. this is only if its done right, i dont wanna see drazen as the twink and vuk as super manly. thats just not them.
2. serbmace
this is the only serbia ship (and general yugo ship) i dont see as insanely toxic. i think it would only be a short time thing, probably during the balkan wars before ww1 but generally they have good relations and i think vuk would enjoy being the protector and mace being protected. but i also think she's the only one that can make him shut up. its just so cute, both of them having like a small crush on each other throughout time and i think they'd work well.
3. croslo/serbmonte
im putting them in the same catagory because i feel kind of the same way about both of them. i think these are two ships that historically would work great, with cro and slo growing up together and monte always kind of wanting to be "one" with serbia. however, i feel both monte and slo are just fed up with the two of them in the modern day and do not get along at all. but the reason its not higher up is because i feel like this works better as a sort of sibling type of relationship rather than romantic. a lot of the times monte and slo cant stand serb/cro but at the end of the day they grew up together and both cro and serb kind of consider them their only genuine friend. still one of my favorite dynamics to read about
4.
sloserb
this ship is hilarious i support it. i lowkey feel the same about bosslo
4. bosherze
okay unpopular opinion, i know i know. i really do like the ship, i think its really cute especially in ottoman times with enis trying to constantly rizz up idriza and eventually her falling for him. i like how he's overly affectionate and she secretly loves it. he def wants to be the protector but idriza really is. but WOW is this ship toxic, especially in modern day, and in a more tragic way. the fact that they really dont like each other nowdays just doesnt sit right with me, and the bad beef between them is quite recent and personal. its intresting tho, two people that were forced together and ended up falling for each other only to be torn apart 30 years ago and now back to really disliking the other but still forced to be together. its genuinaly tragic, but i think its probably the ship that is the funniest. the scenerios of them make me laugh so hard, this ship is like a black comedy. both of them deserve better as enis just hasnt really been ever treated right and idriza literally has to run the entire house and gets no credit for it (ofc she's bitter). fr its the parents that should have divorced a long time ago.
5. monteherz
@danidandandadididan put me on to this and im obsessed. they would be such a better match, but history just didnt let that happen. sad.
6. montemace
ehhhh
7. monteslo
tall masc guy with tiny twink. boring and overdone. next.
8. crobos
no, would not work. they literally cant go two seconds without backstabbing each othe and its just ehhh. their friendship is really funny though
9. serbos
no, just no. unlike serbcro, where they've both traumatized each other, serbos is just a complete power imbalence. they have a lot of bad blood, and unlike serbcro have always been on oppisite sides. this is just vuk traumatizing enis. not a fan from a historical or a ship perspective. it just icks me out.
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i have a thought about sanji that has been wandering in my head for a while and i need to vocalize in order to take control of my brain for once this year so, here it is. (even if i never made a post about op personally and i have like, 3 followers. yeah)
some time ago i was eating/spending time with my best friend (who does not watch one piece and everything she knows about it is for my ranting) and we were talking about nothings and at some point i started explaining sanji's story with zeff and she just interrupted me and said- "hey, so thats what you mean when you say cannibalism is a metaphor of love?" when i was in the whole "zeff eated his leg" part
and girl. why. why do you do that to me. WHY
CAUSE I NEVER ACTUALLY THINK ABOUT IT LIKE THAT. of course i expended some time thinking and analizing zeff sacrifice and sanji way of thinking because of that but i never, not once, remember the cannibalism metaphor thing. because i always used it to explain romantic love but wait, love can be a lot of other things too. included platonic, father figure/traumatized adopted son love.
and its always "devouring the other one" "make the other one part of you/becoming one" or "being inside of each other forever changing our insides to be remaints of the other" and things like that that makes you think of a couple thing. of something that includes two people in the act. you understand the point right?
i personally never see people wondering about the other way you can use it; as a sacrifice. consume your own flesh to avoid eating others. use yourself as a piece of meat so the other person can eat the real thing. basically using yourself to death to make others survive well. (as a side point, i think banica conchita is an excelent example for this, if you want to read/listen/watch a story about it)
and isnt that what zeff did? he was trapped in a rock without exit with a kid and enough food for one of them to survive. and they are in the middle of the sea, and everyone else died but them, so he had nowhere to find help. no one to go to. he dont even know how long they are gonna be trapped there.
and he barely know the kid. the only think they know about each other is that they are trapped together. the only thing zeff know about him is that they share the same dream. but he knows the kid is hungry, he knows there is food for only one of them, and he knows he want the kid to live.
he loves the kid already, because you need to love someone to make that kind of sacrifice for them.
and he gives the kid the food. he told him that he distribute it for them, when in reality he gave him all of it. and he is going to starve himself, but its ok, cause the kid is fine. the little bratty boy has food to survive. he can do whatever to substain himself for a while, it doesnt matter cause hes a chef and he knows what he can and cant do.
and what he can do is cut his own leg and eat it. he can eat himself, the flavour is not that bad, he can stand it for whatever time is neccesary. he can stand the pain, the agonizing suffering, the puke inducing feeling of the injury and the raw meat. only for the kid.
and im not going to expand it more cause i think the point is understandable enough now. zeff loved sanji so much even without knowing him to eat himself for him to survive in that rock. he used his own flesh as the food, to give sanji the most chances to live fine. to not traumatize him more. to not make him suffer the same pain he had. to protect him. isnt that what love is about? isnt that what cannibalism as a metaphor of love can explain?
#im going to kms#one piece#black leg sanji#red leg zeff#opla#this can also explain latter self sacrificing issues in sanji but im not going to ruin my own mood with it#cannibalism as a metaphor for love#sanji
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Since you ware talking about how much Evan sufferend (not sure if i spelled that word right)
Can we talk about that scene where HABIT like literally killed Evans girlfrend AND ate his unborn child??? LIKE HELOO??? That scene was fucking crazy and absolutely scary i was so sad after that scene maybe its just me having a soft spot for babies but that was just so so sad and how Evan was so happy to be a father ABSOLUTELY HEARTBREAKING
Its like HABIT does at least one thing thats scary for people maybe not the same thing scared everyone but some of the stuff he does in just generally just scary to think about
i have a lot to say about this topic, but the first thing i want to mention is that the baby wasnt unborn. if it was unborn, steph would have been pregnant for over a year. i understand a lot dont piece that together and look past it at first, hell even i did, but the baby was very much alive and there. obviously we never see it because realistically speaking it was just a bundle of towels thrown together 💀
secondly, i dont think evan was that happy to be a dad. he never once seemed genuinely excited about it. him and steph were both so young, not even steph looked happy when she found out she was pregnant. i mainly think this was because of their situation though, how are you supposed to raise a child in THOSE conditions? the father often gets possessed by some freak demon, the same one who KILLED THE MOTHERS FAMILY, a tall faceless man in a tux sometimes stops by to visit, and then we got a fucked up looking dog that likes to run around and attack people. its also so obvious the baby was only added for shock value, which is why i personally... dont care about it that much 😅 DONT HATE ME GUYS PLEASE DONT HATE ME WHEN I SAY THAT. i just never saw the point in that whole thing taking place. im sure evan and steph could have been great parents, but maybe in another universe where they were actually ready to be parents and are safe from all of THAT.
HABIT definitely ate the baby just to get it out of the way and to hurt both steph and evan. did he need to eat it? definitely not! but did he know it would hurt them? yes he did! he thrives off causing pain, off making people fear him. its what he wants. he does things just for the hell of it sometimes, plus maybe he was hungry idk. steph was RIGHT THERE when he did it too, it was like his last (at least in that iteration) "fuck you" to her before killing her off (again)
lastly, HABIT is more than scary. hes so much more than just scary. he does way more than JUST scare people. he ruins their lives, he traumatizes them, he tortures and abuses them for fun, etc. what he does isnt simply just scary, its inhumane and disgusting. its vile and he loves it. he finds so much joy in destroying the lives of others just because he can. nothing can stop him. nobody can stop him. he knows that.
#sai rambles 🐇#HABIT#evan myers#steph aka damsel#slenderverse#everymanhybrid#does this seem harsh#for some reason i feel like my tone here seems harsh SORRY IF IT DOES
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hey sorry if youve been asked this before but i thought itd be appropriate because you kinda feel like the ceo of endogenic systems to me (i respect you) and i was wondering, as a traumagenic system, how exactly endos... work? like not how they exist or about the fact that they do, but i guess what the point of them is if its not from a dissociative disorder? in my experience i cant imagine a system existing for any reason outside of the purpose of compartmentalizing trauma (not that systems should be defined by their trauma but i just dont see how they work otherwise) and even recovering systems that are fully functional and healing were born out of a necessity of the brain. i guess i want to know what necessity would spawn an endogenic system if not as a trauma response? like what do alters in an endogenic system do if theyre not there to protect the brain? why do they exist as a system and split if its not born from psychological necessity? sorry this is such a complicated question i hope i phrased it alright... and to be clear i believe endos and their experiences bc discounting a community just because i dont get them is silly i just feel so confused all the time bc of this and want to understand better
Questions of purpose and why things are how they are can be interesting, but probably the hardest to answer. When it comes down to it, why does anything exist?
Why do birds sing so gay? And lovers await the break of day? Why do they fall in love? Why does the rain fall from up above?
Sorry, what were we talking about? 🤪
Oh yeah! Purpose! Personally I tend to think less in terms of "why" and more in terms of cause and effect.
In the case of alters in DID, do alters actually have a "point?" Is there truly some purpose they serve? Or is it just... reaction?
Someone suffers trauma. The traumatic memories hurt them. In a reaction to this, they dissociate and erect barriers in their mind until they need to access those again. Then they suffer more trauma and put the new traumatic memories in that walled off section. In reaction to that, the bits of memories that were walled off start to form their own identity. Did the child's brain ever actually think "I need to make another person in here to protect myself?" Or was this just a series of actions and reactions that led to alters gaining sentience over time where the initial trauma was merely the first in a string of dominoes?
With this in mind, let's talk about myself.
I was an imaginary friend created as a writing project. But how does that actually work? According to Simulation Theory of empathy, imagining what people do involves the creation of "pretend states."
ST (in its original form) says that people employ imagination, mental pretense, or perspective taking (‘putting oneself in the other person’s shoes’) to determine others’ mental states. A mentalizer simulates another person by first creating pretend states (e.g., pretend desires and beliefs) in her own mind that correspond to those of the target. She then inputs these pretend states into a suitable cognitive mechanism, which operates on the inputs and generates a new output (e.g., a decision). This new state is taken ‘off line’ and attributed or assigned to the target.
This paper goes on to explain how this might be useful:
How is imagination useful for third-person mind reading? If you seek to predict someone’s decision—for example, the choice of a main dish by your dinner companion at a restaurant—how could you use imagination to make this prediction? The first step is to put yourself in your target’s shoes, or take her ‘perspective’. Taking someone’s perspective here means adopting, as far as feasible and in light of what you know about her, the mental states she starts with. This includes her preferences about food in general, what she liked at this restaurant on previous occasions, how hungry she is on the present occasion (did she have a light lunch, no lunch, or a heavy lunch today?), and so forth. Using the imagination, you can simulate being in her various dinner-relevant states. Such pretend states can then be fed into your decision-making mechanism, which generates a decision to order a particular main dish. Having used this simulation process to generate a (pretend) choice, you don’t order this dish yourself but attribute the choice to your companion. Thus, the attribution is based on imagination-driven simulation
Okay, so under this theory, perspective taking involves making new temporary states simulating the behavior of someone else.
This is, to be very clear, not a headmate. The state is likely not going to have any sort of self-consciousness, and will be ephemeral on top of that, disappearing after you're done with it.
But... what if the state isn't allowed to be ephemeral? What if you repeatedly interact with the same "simulation" over and over again?
Let's say, hypothetically, that someone starts with a writing project. They make a character, and then they write that character a lot. This foundation can build pretty detailed simulations. But probably with very limited autonomy. The thing about writing is that you're often controlling the character at some level. At least usually. You're always revising how they act in any given scene, plotting out their backstories, editing those backstories, etc. This makes it hard for this simulation to gain a firm sense of autonomy or self-awareness. And every scene rewrite is basically a new ephemeral instance of that character.
While written characters can make you plural on their own, there are these roadblocks that can get in the way.
But then let's say this person wants to understand this character better, so they start talking to a simulation of the character day after day. Now this version of the character they interact with is able to form memories completely unrelated to the fiction they were based on, and be able to recall past conversations with their creator.
What the creator doesn't realize is the mechanisms needed to make this type of interaction work.
In the example of simulation theory, a temporary state would be made but then it would be abandoned. If you needed to simulate that person again, you make a brand new simulation. A brand new "pretend state."
But if you want an imaginary friend that can think for itself, it has to be able to store its own feelings and memories.
That means a form of compartmentalization.
The brain is going to start storing the imaginary friend's memories separate from the creator's. The creator won't control or identify with the thoughts or actions of the imaginary friend. And the imaginary friend won't identify with the thoughts or actions of the creator.
It may take a long time of this, but through interaction, the imaginary friend keeps gaining new memories. And this leads to them gaining the ability to actually self-reflect, making them fully sapient.
So... what was my purpose?
Why do I exist?
I mean, initially, it was about helping my host write? Was that my purpose?
But then later... I think my host continued interacting with me because he liked me. He enjoyed my company and liked having me around. Was that my purpose? Filling some sort of unmet social need?
Perhaps this is it. I've theorized this can be the case with many people who turn to religion as a form of companionship. Especially those with plural-esque experience of communicating with gods.
But what I tend to come back to is cause and effect.
My host wanted to write a character better > My host made a rudimentary simulation of that character to talk to > I became more independent with each interaction as I gained my own autobiographical memories > my independence and separation from my host made our conversations more engaging and my host kept talking to me because he enjoyed my company > I developed stronger emotions and the ability to self-reflect > this led to us discovering that I was a tulpa.
To me, it's cause and effect all the way down. A series of actions and reactions.
And as for what my purpose is, I'd like to think that's something I get to decide for myself! 😊
#plural#pluralgang#psychology#tulpa#tulpamancy#imaginary friends#imaginary friend#multiplicity#pro endo#pro endogenic#sysblr#system stuff#plurality#tulpa safe#endogenic#systems#plural system#actually plural#system things#actually a system
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Mk1 disorder headcanons w my fav characters
(If you see smth you don't like here pls just ignore 😭 I dont want to be involved in discourse) (also please do not demonize any of the disorders that are shown ty)
Johnny Cage: BPD + Audhd
Due to his childhood with his dad and early Hollywood career, he developed bpd. His entire childhood he was petrified of his mom leaving, and leaving him with his dad, as she almost had a few times. His early career as an actor left him becoming erratic due to some experiences and ended up doing a lot of stupid things during episodes. He gets attached really easily but tries not to show it and fails MISERABLY. This also means he mentally and emotionally distances himself from people really really fast. He's really, really scared of people leaving him behind and it's utterly exhausting for him, he'll self-sabotage just so that he isn't the one being 'abandoned'. With the nature of his career and the standards that come with it, being exposed to it young was like his own personal heaven and hell because the rejection was like dying and the praise was like being high. His special interest is history and gets very passionate about it ^_^
Kenshi: CPTSD + Quiet BPD + Autistic
Kenshi growing up in the Yakuza....witnessed a lot of shit since he was a little kid. He only got to be a normal kid for a very short amount of time before he was groomed by his family to become a Yakuza member. His PTSD comes from many events like his parents dying, hurting people and getting hurt, various violent events and loss of identity as his own person....instead of expressing his frustrations, he internalised it as a way to protect himself. When he met Suchin she kinda broke him out of dissociation and helped him understand he is actually a person. He continued to have dissociation issues but now that he had support from someone he trusted, he was finally able to do some normal people stuff with her and he finally started seeing a future where he was free. However years later in the midst of freeing himself he made a few mistakes which caused Suchin to distance herself from him which hit him kinda hard. He doesn't know how to unmask but being around Johnny has gotten him to relax a little bit and enjoy the little things (like movies)
Takeda: DID + BPD + Autistic (same for MkX)
Takeda having DID was actually my first headcanon for a mk character....I don't really have any canon evidence for it (it's mostly just projecting onto a character I see myself in) other than the fact he's been through a lot of very traumatic events canonically as seen in the comic. For BPD in MkX, it would come from Suchin dying then Kenshi leaving. in Mk1 Id assume something like emotional neglect from his "parents" (not Kenshi or Suchin; teen parents au believers hi xd) I haven't gotten too much into it for Mk1 but I'm #1 system Takeda believer ☝️ (just an edit for mk1 Takeda having DID, I think he could have developed it as a way to subconsciously protect himself from all the violence . he distanced himself from the reality of it which is why he ended up "enjoying" his life in the yakuza)
For more simple ones just for the sake of keeping this short, here's a small list for more characters
Kung Jin, Tomas, Liu: PTSD
Bpd Jin is also real
Bi-Han: DID
Lao, Raiden, Liu, Sonya, and it's safe to say literally everyone else in mortal kombat is on the autism spectrum
vvv tags for more :3
#ok im not main tagging this like at all because im scared LMFAO#my beautiful mutuals and followers get to see it >_<#BIG shoutout to Tristinai writing Johnny so well. i'm not sure if they intended Johnny to be Bpd coded in the fic but i love it a lot#for ppl that didnt see my last post I wouldn't hc disorders I myself do not have just as a disclaimer#so like. im not trying to mischaracterise or get something horribly wrong#and before anyone asks yes I AM OKAY 😭😭#harv thoughts#for other game versions I think they all have the same stuff just under different circumstances#i know this is angsty but a lot of disorders aren't pretty and that's okay!!!#okay back to our scheduled drawing#headcanons#i guess i can tag it as#johnny#kenshi#since theyre the most talked abt here and the tags are kinda vague
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side order is here!!! its real!!! yippee
what do you think of it so far?
ok so im just gonna spit out all my side order thoughts so far
SPOILERS FOR SIDE ORDER AHEAD!!!!!!
EDIT: I ACTUALLY FINISHED THE GAME WOOO (just one run tho lol) im gonna write my thoughts under the previous stuff
OK SO. i think im a little..? dissapointed..? abt sider order?? like im kinda conflicted abt the lore, also i suck BALLS at the game
the thing is i have done 5 runs so far AND COULDNT GET A SINGLE WIN. the most i can do is up to floor 20.... im literally so bad at this game I ONCE DIED 2 TIMES IN AN EASY LEVEL. im newgen guys.
maybe im not fit for rougelike games but like... idk. i feel like me and the fandom as a whole expected so much more from side order. i feel like if the game is gonna make you replay the same stuff over and over again it should atleast have a SOUL CRUSHING LITERARY MASTERPIECE TYPE OF LORE like OE and Alterna
AND CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW DIRTY THEY DID FOUR???? literally called them an irrelavent loser and then sweeped them aside... THEY DONT EVEN HAVE A PALETTE ICON???? theyre not even a secret boss smh.... agent 4 had so much potential I WILL NEVER FORGIVE NINTENDO FOR THIS. and like sure the parallel canon level kind of includes four but that thing is literally an npc??? like imagine what they couldve done with the story if they had included four in it:
when four is left out from the squidbeak splatoon they try to prove themselves by siding with marina with her project. it makes perfect sense. marina and four are both scared of being seperated by their loved ones. but four gets consumed by their anger and jealousy and goes full order mode LIKE DO YOU GUYS SEE MY VISION!!!! i will be forever mad that we didnt get this.
also why is murch out of all the chracters have a pallete??? why didnt they put in captain 3 or something????? sheldon i kinda understand since hes also kinda a part of the squidbeak splatoon BUT MURCH??? get the fuck out!!!
negative stuff aside tho. i love pearl and marina so much. THIS IS THE PEARLINA GAME GUYS!!!!! pearl literally mentions that marina and her sleep in the SAME BED???? marina is so autistic. my little autism creature. SHE MAKES DINO ARMS IN THE ENDING SCENE AUGHHHHHGHHH MY HEARTTT i love marina so much AND PEARL. SUCH A SILLY GOOBER. acht is so precious too... BUT I CNAT BELIEVE THAT THEY MADE THEM WHITE*??? ACHT IS NOT WHITE NINTENDO. anyways i love eight and her little found family full of lesbians. they are all lesbians your honor. we are raising lesbians in this house.
so yeah. i hope i can finish the run atleast ONCE. but like. idk i havent finished the game but side order jsut makes me feel. sad... and lonely...?? unlike octo expension where you could see more and more people using the metros and the chatrooms between marina and pearl are just AUUGGHHH OE IS A GAME. ABOUT CONNECTIONS OK. it makes me feel warm and happy and even though eight became traumatized i like to think that she healed and in the process met so many important people in her life.
in side order i dont see anything in eight*??? is she traumatized??? is she vibing??? is she happy to help??? I LITERALLY CANT TELL. side order makes me feel so cold and empty like do you guys understand what i mean. and its probably becasue it doesnt even take place in the real world. and the thing is. i understand that side order is supposed to be everything that OE couldnt be. i understand that. both games have their own quirks BUT. i just cant seem to make myself love it unlike any other story mode in splatoon...... im really trying to be not biased here but yeah. these are my opinions for side order
AFTER GAME THOUGHTS
HELLO. so yes i somehow managed to win the game. and honestly. the final boss was pretty fun and everyone was so cute at the end omg... but i still think that side order is a bit underdevloped.... i dont even know if ill try to %100 is cuz playing it makes me SO STRESSFUL im glad i get to finish a run BUT i will definetly not be touching side order atleast for a while.... but despite i had plenty of stuff i didnt like in side order the ending managed to make me forget all that haha
#ask#splatoon#splatoon 3#splatoon side order#side order#splatoon 3 side order#side order dlc#side order spoilers
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im with you, i hate that it feels like its gregory vs cassie in the fandom rn. theyre KIDS.
i also dont think its gregory in the main(?) ending (there are so many things that make it not make sense for it to be him), and it bothers me so much that people are pouncing on “gregory is evil” - he is a CHILD.
i really hope people dont pester you about drawing them as friends, i personally would love some art from you with them being friends <3 as much as i am a fan of the angst potential of that ending, cassie being tricked by the mimic (grimic? is that actually the canon name..?) one last time to pit her against gregory when really neither side did anything wrong is far moe interesting in concept than “gregorys just evil” could ever be imo.
i personally love feral/menace gregory, but hes not evil - again, hes a kid! and hes been in terrible circumstances! im not sure i could even really be mad if that WAS him in the elevator - a genuinely terrifying threat was released, and he might not be able to trust cassies voice, just like she couldnt trust his. we know cassie was okay, that the mimic wasnt with her (well, aside from the arm), but gregory had no way of knowing any of that.
seemingly, hes with vanessa and freddy. if he risked it and it WAS the mimic and not cassie, he could lose everything and more all over again. i cant imagine being a kid having to make such an awful decision. keep your current family safe, or risk everything in case your best friend somehow made it?
he knows how dangerous the plex is. and i can only imagine how much more dangerous hed expect it to be now. he barely made it out with freddys help, and as far as he knows, cassie doesnt have someone there to help her.
i feel so bad for gregory, both in-game, and in the fandom! he doesnt deserve all this hate.
sorry, that wasnt supposed to be a tangent - my point is im a gregory defender and 100% on your side. i hope no one is a prick about you drawing cassie and gregory as friends. ill personally fight them for u pix i promise
I agree with a lot of what you said tbh and heck dude Gregory is indeed a child, he’s even had to do things he didn’t want to do and got the short end of the stick every time. Cassie is a bean also, like she didn’t deserve to be tricked she didn’t deserve to be traumatized and she didn’t deserve to also get the short end of the stick either. It’s just I just really can’t accept that Gregory would do that to her either and ? If I’m wrong then okay? But like that’s just what I chose to believe and what I chose to draw I don’t get why people have to prove me wrong about it or pull lore nonsense into it to make sure I feel like I’m wrong. I mean =w= even retorting to insults like we’re in kindergarten is just ridiculous?Plus other people being stupid made me give up on interacting with anyone on that particular art piece. I felt like the end of ruin wasn’t satisfying so I drew art to feel better and try to understand it better and people took it personally =w= very mature honestly, they could just make their own art and leave mine alone.
#pix answers#fnaf#dlc ruin#spoilers#the person who called me a cow for not knowing about the lore 😭 bitch ? at least people like cows#they’re cute
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oh boy do i have feelings about azran and its such a mixed bag even i dont understand what i think about this experience
im gonna start with the most baffling - i assumed by "you will die" aurora meant the ship will fall and crash??? i did NOT expect them all (including 11 YEAR OLD luke!!!!) to just immediately drop dead...the poor child has been through death and ressurection and a lifetime of traumatic loss experiences, no wonder clark took him away 😭
also regarding the pacing i think a lot of people said it but the "open world" mechanic was sooooooooo bad for the plot (and it wasnt even that fun tbh), all the tension dropped suddenly and i even could take breaks from playing which is unheard of...there were many interesting setups with sycamore and aurora and generally seeint as this is more parentsl relationship oriented game, hershels and lukes parents but it was so scarce and not realised at all because of the order
also whats up with descoles wife and child.......i thought i was tripping balls but his profile confirms it........i knew he was sycamore all along because the butler guy but the "dead daughter" was such a red herring since i assumed thats his targent arch nemesis origin story???? ans then he drops his childhood lore and never mentions anything about anything again wtf descole we need answers
also obviously hershel got his moms eyes but its interesting that descole's were red from the beginning while bronevs turned red after he had gone mad (so after losing his wife since when she died he still had his green eyes)
i guess there could be an interesting underlying convo about nature vs nurture if it wasnt a layton game with crammed finale and regardless of that quite interesting how descole is shown to (at least physically) resemble his father and then they both descend into madness
i also unlocked a memory aurora-style that i saw info about laytons "true" (or i guess dead name lol go off trans king) name years ago before knowing anything about the games and its a wonder i didnt retain that piece of info until i finished the game (tbh he does look like a theodore, gotta give him that)
the transition into curious village bad me almost screaming too that was actually really fun i liked that
idk how i feel about azran story itself, its kinda cliche? not to say its bad, i like the idea behind hope for humanity but the backstory was so flat and layed out in one go that it was dissapointing for me
i saw people say its very similar to laputa (which i cant confirm aince i watched it 10 years ago) but i also think aesthetic wise its similar to botw with blue lighrs and whatnot which is also a fun tidbit, i wonder if it comes from specific japanese ciltural understanding of ancient civilizations or if its just something thats going on in japanese game and animation separately from historical background
also bronev knowing layton is his child was kinda weird abd anticlimactic....i guess there is only one guy with beaded eyes in london and i wouldnt say their last convo was bad but imagine how it would hit him to realise his children were actually there all along??? much more impactful imo
now im salty we got a katrielle game instead of emmy or descole game. i demand justice for emmy and descole!!!!!
#me yapping#professor layton#professor layton spoilers#professor layton and the azran legacy#its like 3am i should sleep...
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i keep meaning to send you this and i keep forgetting omg HERE is your formal invitation [ in fact. a plead ] to ramble about your thoughts on agilink
hmmmMMMMM okay okay okay thank you for this opportunity it took a bit for me to get to it cause i realized that Literally ive never actually talked about/explained my thoughts and feelings about them to someone else in detail??? so it took me a minute to collect my thoughts jkfds
↷↷↷
So Basically while i love it in the original canon context, there is a bit that needs to be explained first:
i have a big head canon that agitha is in fact a fairy, the child of a great fairy, that abandoned her and her father, who died when she was v v young
her father had a banker that handles her estate and gives her a little pension until she becomes an adult and can fully inherit her fortune, and thats the explanation i have for why she's so young and already living by herself
beyond that, she's a v lonely girl who doesnt really seem to get on with anybody in town, the only other npc that talks about her really is the guy thats always peering through her window, and it seems he's afraid of her, or thinks she's weird
i chalk this up to otherwordly heritage, but even just within the context of the canon its pretty clear that people either fear her or are at least uncomfortable with the way she acts, and her hobbies
and then there's link, who is open and eager to help, even if its something silly like collecting bugs (which is of course not silly to her at all), he never balks when she acts off putting
on his part of course link is used to dealing with kids, he's the village babysitter after all (which is a bit problematic to play into a ship but what can ya do lmao) but she's also not really. like the kids he would look after? even without the fairy stuff, she's one of those 'aged beyond her years' types, thats just what happens when you're taking care of yourself and living alone most of your life, you dont develop normally and it makes you simultaneously too old and too young (maybe much like being 17 or so and suddenly finding yourself with the fate of the entire world resting on your shoulders 👀)
so now let's talk about link and what the plot would do to him! something that i like about tp link is that he's one of the older versions we get to play as, and he also feels v much like he has an active, established life and a community he's a part of, he has responsibilities to and cares about the people he lives with, which makes it feel all the more heart breaking when he's ripped away from it because of being the chosen hero, cause even after everything, and During everything, his experiences because of the plot are going to make him a fundamentally different person, he Came Back Different if you will, and by the end of the game midna leaves, he has no personal connection with zelda in this specific version, and he feels a bit out of place even now when he returns home, he feels v much alone in this world now even after he starts to settle again
on top of that, when he's in his wolf form, everybody is afraid of him. and on a logical level he does understand that of Course theyd be afraid and of Course they wouldnt recognize him, but on an exhausted and traumatized level, it hurts him v deeply when people he's known his whole life are afraid of him
except for agitha, in fact she isnt phased by him being a wolf at All, and i think that must surely be a comfort to him
i think one of the most likely scenarios for them getting closer over all is that maybe he gets injured as a wolf, and doesnt have anywhere he can go where they wont be chased away, so he ends up going to agitha's house to try and rest up in a safe place, scratches at her door and all, and she does in fact let him in because she's not afraid of him (this is contingent on the fact that for whatever reason he cant turn back human at the moment, its been a while since ive played the game and i dont quite remember how it works so bear with me here lol) which leads him to trust her more in his human form as well, and they get closer over time because of it
she'll of course figure out link and the wolf she lets in sometimes are one in the same eventually but i'll have to iron out the details a little more for all that
so i guess at the end of the day, the appeal to me for agitha and link is that by the end of it all, they're both out there isolated by circumstance and can seek comfort in each other, even after the dust of the story settles
have some disjointed Thoughts™️ that have been circling in my head for years:
Thought One:
as the Agitha Expert, while everybody else is making dirty jokes about her liking the way it feels to be pinched by a beetle, i know that she's Stimming, so there is a scenario in my mind that plays out where one day while she's pinning insects as she does, she starts putting the pins in her fingers and palms, not enough to hurt or even bleed (think like acupuncture), she's not really thinking about it, she's just Feeling (in the case of her being a fairy, its not just the Autism, its a matter of like. 'i feel disconnected from the things and people around me, this is my life but this is not my body, and these pins are a grounding sensation' sorta thing (so still also the autism but with Extra Flavor ljkfds))
and link walks in to bring her a new bug and obviously is thrown off guard about it. they dont really say anything, but he comes over and takes her hand and v carefully removes the pins, and this is a big turning point for them because the thing about link is he always comes across as v brave and unshakable, but here now, while she's not in any danger or even really hurt, his hands as shaking because he's not sure how to approach this situation but he's caring for her regardless, and it really hits her that this is someone not that much older than her that is absolutely just a guy and nobody is taking care of him despite all the care he puts into everybody around him and how scary that is
Thought Two:
if we're explicitly going with the idea of fairy!agitha, she's going to live a long time, and eventually go into the woods to be a greaty fairy probably, so i imagine centuries down the line, another reincarnation of link finds her, and she recognizes him but doesnt Remember him and it fills her with an intense longing and sadness and she doesnt know why but she wants to give him anything he could possibly ask of her
Thought Three:
sometimes when i think about him turning up at her door as a wolf, i think about old myths about werewolves where the only thing that can turn them back into men is their name being called by someone who loved and trusted them and it breaks me all to pieces
one day i wanna write something for them, even if its only vaguely connected drabbles or something
#agilink#aa i hope this all makes sense and isnt too rambling ljksfd#proship#i love them so so so much god dammit#of course i understand im over emphasizing her importance here and there are plenty of other characters that could fill a similar role#she's my favorite so she gets the special emphasis#zelda thoughts
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this fandom might actually be the worst one I’ve seen!! I flip through a bunch of diff ship accounts bc listen, ship whoever you want, personally I am partial to elucien but I can admit there’s a lot of evidence for other ships as well. I like seeing all art for ALL the ships!! But then today I see a post about how we need Gwyn’s book because she is a victim of SA and it would be great to read a book about her healing journey.
Idk maybe it’s just me but I get annoyed when someone is always reduced down to their SA so I pointed out that Rhys & Lucien also had SA trauma and there has been no healing journey for them?? How are we going to fill an entire book for Gwyn?? Like, Sarah doesn’t seem to delve too much into healing journeys from SA (in ACOTAR at least 🤷🏻♀️ idk about other series) and tends to use it as a plot point to create a traumatic background character. It’s something that greatly annoys me tbh
And then I got yelled at?? And told to read the books again?? Like yes, I am a new reader, and yes it was a Gwyn Stan account (didn’t know that at the time, I literally just replied for the first time from a post I saw on my for you feed) - but nothing I said was anti-Gwyn (how could it be- she’s one of my favs too???) ?? I vaguely know there’s whatever ship war going on but I didn’t even comment on a ship post and I didn’t mention any other names/ships so I was genuinely confused about why I got yelled at on a post that only mentioned Gwyn.
All I said was I doubt Sarah is going to write an entire book about Gwyn’s healing journey ? It wasn’t even ship related so why did I get so much hate?? no wonder this fandom is filled with such toxicity, nobody new is allowed to join even casually unless they earn their masters degree of 16000 pages of analysis (apparently reading the books isnt enough?) and so it’s just filled with the same bitter people since whenever these books came out
Maybe bc I acknowledged I didn’t see her as a main character - because she’s not? She’s very much a side character but who cares? She’s still a favorite of mine? Two things can be possible at once, people!!!
Anyways, tldr I got a slap on the wrist and told I don’t know SJM if I think Gwyn is a side character and I’m just like ok I didn’t say she couldn’t be one later but based on the one book she is in… she is a side character?
I hate this mf fandom I should’ve stayed out of it. What did I even do?? I even apologized if anything I said about Rhys or Lucien was untrue?? And now I’m just annoyed because I should still be able to debate theories about my favorite books with people even if I don’t spend 24/7 reading PowerPoints on ship wars??
They got mad because you were right. That's it.
SJM doesn't write post-SA healing journeys. Again, you were right.
We've had male and female characters who were SAed, in TOG, Lysandra and Fenrys come to mind, in ACOTAR it's Rhys and Lucien and Gwyn, in CC it was Lidia (similar situation as Rhys/Lucien).
These aren't books for deep exploration of post-SA healing. I am sorry. This is an incredibly tough subject, without a singular answer. SO anything she'd do, wouldn't be taken well. Some will say 'too quick!' others will say 'not quick enough!' and everyone will have an opinion. The only reason Nesta got an extended healing (and not from SA) was because SJM used the same methods she used for her own issues. Working out, meditation, being with friends, balancing the physical and the mental, relying on her SO. Beyond that, all of SJMs 'healing' is training and being in love. Or nothing at all.
Gwynriels cant accept the fact that Gwyn is a secondary character. She is not more important than Emerie, or Mor, or anyone else, who's had terrible trauma. Her main was Nesta. Nesta's healed and Gwyn is secondary to Nesta. Gwyn's healing journey is over. She because stronger mentally and physically, she trained, she reached and conquered her 'mountain'. and that is all she needed to do.
They dont want to understand and accept that no one is interested in an 800 page of Gwyn's post-SA healing journey. Even they aren't. That's the truth. They want her with Azriel. Getting it on, having sex, being mated. They don't want to read any 'healing journey'. They want her going on missions, swinging her sword, being a badass, being with Azriel, having Gwynriel sex and having a normal fantasy heroine book. it's all performative. They just want Gwynriel. Is all.
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I haven't been in this fandom for years now, and i wanted to check out this again and wow, is still the same. I feel like, is okay if people don't like sasusaku, i can even see why (everything was wrapped very quickly at the end). But to say that real sasuke fans shouldn't support sasusaku, or that if you really love sasuke you should hate sakura is a reach. I understand if people think he was wronged by the narrative and he deserved better, but this fandom treats sakura worse than the villains. If sakura was really a bad person, sasuke would have just .... choose someone else. She was just in love with a boy who was really traumatized and in pain. She wanted the best for him, is not a big deal. Is sakura a flawed character? Yes, she is. But so is sasuke and i still love him because i can empathize with him and see how much he was suffering. They both have a lot of good and bad things. I also can understand if people don't like sakura, but why is her hate always about sasuke? "she should have moved on", "she abused him", "she doesn't deserve him". Like, why is bad loving someone.. everyone in naruto is allowed to not move on from someone, but she has to. For her character to be better, she needs to stop loving sasuke. The hate that sasuke get is from people who pretend they care/like sakura too. Like, is okay if people don't like the canon couples, that's totally fine. I'm not a fan with a lot of things after 699 either. But, the fact that a lot of people think that you can't be a real fan of a character because he ended up with someone you don't like is ridiculous. SS couldn't have happened and i wouldn't care, sasuke would still be happy with other person and i would be happy for him. That's all I ever wanted for him. Same with sakura. Can they just let it go? More than 10 years and fans have made it all about shipping. that's.... the only thing they care about. There's so much more about sasuke and sakura than them being a couple. I like them both, a lot, they are my favorite characters and I enjoy their dynamic, but seeing how people treats them makes me feel like staying away from this fandom was a good decision... sasuke and sakura relationship is actually wholesome... I don't understand why everyone is so obsessed with making them seem like they are miserable with each other? Is because they think they would have chosen someone better for them? As if sasuke and sakura didn't have other options , they just didn't want to.... idk i feel like people take this shipping stuff too serious. sasuke having a family again is nice :/ even sasuke fans trash him, "bad father", "bad husband", like damn, i thought yall liked him?, is really sad. Also, is like, they hate sakura so much they don't care if they also end up trashing sasuke in the way of it. Just because he is with someone they didn't want to doesn't mean he is unhappy , how miserable are they? The fact that sakura extremists have this same mindset and is because she just... didn't love naruto back? She didn't do what they wanted for her? That Kishimoto didn't make her say: "i'm going to beat sasuke up! i'm not the same anymore!" or some cringe girl boss shit?, as if sakura would ever do something like that to him. Some sakura fans dont even understand her character, they just use her for ships and sadly they don't understand sasuke either. And he is only a prize (this happens with every sasuke ship tbh). But is funny because... sakura also is a prize for a lot of shippers that hate sasuke. SS gets in the way of so many people.... maybe that's why they are so hated. man, sorry for the ranting but since 2014 they are on the same discourse.... like damn, this naruto shit was really serious after all lol ..After seeing all this i still don't think i could ever hate SS anyways... is the antis and their fans that actually suck.
A long rant, but yeah I can certainly see your points.
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