#;playing://bestmonologueever.mp3 (j)

[handfulofmuses]

I love my two dumb leashed dogs

[playingbestmonologueevermp3-a]

J when she is focused / deep in thought on a drawing or writing something:

Clicking the pencil on repeat

Will chew on the pencil

Taps the pencil against the paper

Twirls the pencil between her fingers.

[handfulofmuses]

"……….“

Ouch.

Give it to your leader, it doesn't hurt, and

See if she can handle every family burden

Watch as she buckles and bends but never breaks, no mistakes

Give it to your leader and never wonder

If the same pressure would've pulled you under

Who am I if I don't have what it takes?

No cracks, no breaks

No mistakes, no pressure

[handfulofmuses]

Shenzi 🤝 J

Scapegoats of the true villain of the show

[handfulofmuses]

Bless Cyn because I actually get to write J nervous =3

[handfulofmuses]

One thing to note about Bradford, Vervain and J is that they are not loyal, they are obedient.

Bradford started out with loyalty towards his master. His relationship with the Shredder was one of mutual respect and shared trust considering he knows his deepest secrets. There was a certain emotional attachment of some sort involved on both sides that was mutual. Bradford was entirely dedicated to their cause and his loyalty was crucial to Shredder’s success. Bradford went above and beyond in the interest of the Foot Clan.

After the many failures, that loyalty turned into obedience. Shredder is no longer holding him in the same regard as he used to. Obedience, unlike loyalty, is often motivated by fear of consequences or desire for approval.

Obedience is enforced while loyalty is given willingly. It has turned into a desperate attempt to prove himself to his master once more to repair his damaged pride and has become less about the clan.

J has no emotional attachment to the ones she works for aside from Tessa. Her commitment to following orders is driving her every decision because of the fear of punishment that will follow otherwise. Both with the ones she served once and later Cyn. She does not like Cyn and throws sarcastic comments towards her - she is only following Cyn because she does not have a choice in the matter. J is acting on the orders of an authority figure, involved with actions she would not have taken otherwise.

Vervain is also afraid of the punishment that follows otherwise, but he has no attachment to his master and would save his own hide and not remain at his general’s side. He ditched him at least three times when danger arrived. If it comes down to it, Vervain will always look out for number one. His obedience is enforced by his master and he does it because of a need for approval and the fear of consequences.

A loyal employee can have a positive influence on their colleagues, encouraging team spirit to strive the business forward. For them, it’s all about the competition and they will try to tear others down so they can look better in front of their masters.

[handfulofmuses]

Failure is never an option, that much was drilled into her when she was still serving the Elliot’s.  Failure leads to punishment. Mistakes was something she could not afford. Not for the humans and especially not for Cyn.

If only she had remained by N’s side to ensure his systems were completely offline. Cyn would have sent another backup N, once again wiping away his memories and everything would have been fine. It wouldn’t have mattered if he perished—There was no escape from this merciless reality.

“Yes. He mentioned something about the worker wanting to fix the landing pod so they can escape the planet. V  … was still fighting against them.”

Important information at least, but J knew that wasn’t enough for her latest failure. It just means they would have to hurry with the destruction of that planet. She wasn’t sure what happened to V after her defeat, but V should know better than that moron. At least she hopes so. V knows what's at stake here.

“I  … have no excuse. It was my responsibility that everything goes flawlessly. But I messed up.”

J averts her eyes, a hand instinctively moved to rub her other arm, seeking solace in a nervous gesture. She knew better than to try and excuse her actions. Because in the grand scheme of things, they mean nothing. She knew her designated role and her place and there was no excuse for the latest failure - not when they were so close and this had been the last colony to wipe out.

She was the leader of this squad, and every misstep—be it her own, V’s, or N’s—ultimately circled back to her. It's why she is so harsh with her team in the first place.

♡ || @handfulofmuses

Almost wasn't enough, Not for Cyn at least. J was starting to fail her and well, that wasn't going to swing well! There was no room for mistakes in this business and Cyn had to make sure J would understand that fully and she was planning on making sure it got through J's memory card that failure was not going to be an option from now on. They had a job to do.

Cyn seemed to hum, mostly to herself as she listened to J speaking about N and how he was behind the fact she was basically sliced in half, the reason Cyn had to rebuild her back to her original state in the first place. How could N turn traitor like that? There was no way her fun loving big brother would just turn! He always wanted to do anything and Cyn had given him something to do!

╰─ ♥ ❝ Turned Traitor? W...Was it that worker drone he was with?? ❞ Cyn questioned, figuring it was that girl she had a fight with while repairing J's body. ❝ H..How could you let that happen J! Bad J..Job J! ❞

[handfulofmuses]

It's pressure like a drip, drip, drip that'll never stop, whoa Pressure that'll tip, tip, tip 'til you just go pop, whoa, oh, oh Who am I if I can't run with the ball? If I fall to Pressure like a grip, grip, grip, and it won't let go, whoa Pressure like a tick, tick, tick 'til it's ready to blow, whoa, oh, oh

[handfulofmuses]

CHARACTER HEADCANON GENERATOR MEME

Tagged by: @mixed-up-multiverse (for J!)

J is a very good singer. ✔

J is oblivous to any and all romantic interest someone may show them. ✔

J nearly drowned in a river as a child. ✖

J is very good at using chopsticks. ✔

J is a horrible liar. ✔

J is not good with social cues. ✖

J can't sit in a chair properly. ✖

J will go feral. Watch out. ✔

J hates being alone. ✔

J has not showered in two and a half weeks. ✔ (She is a robot come on)

[handfulofmuses]

What are you really?

a stray dog

all you’ve ever wanted was for people to love you. you’re a people pleaser, it’s in your nature. but try as you might, no matter how much effort you put in, you’re never anyone’s favourite person. you know the feeling of being ignored all too well.

[handfulofmuses]

excuse you J is a very pretty drone, she is not a dog /lh

Oh, how delightful ! She got complimented. Her tail wags behind her.

[handfulofmuses]

                                    TAUNT ME                                                                AIR YOUR DIRTY LAUNDRY                                    HANG IT ALL ON ME                                 DOOMED TO REPEAT THIS CYCLE                                                         'CAUSE ALGORITHMS HAUNT ME   EXHAUSTED, THINK I FINALLY LOST IT!                               GETTING SICK OF SCROLLING                                      DOWN                                      DOWN                                      DOWN

PLAYING://BESTMONOLOGUEEVER.MP3. Selective Multimuse Featuring J!

[handfulofmuses]

J, if you could turn back time and help to fight against the solver like everyone else did… would you take that chance?

"Oh, suuuuure! I mean, it’s not like it couldn’t have taken control of me again just like when I tried to fight it with Tessa and it certainly wouldn’t have made me do things against my will, right?”

"Get lost. It’s a pointless hypothetical.”

If she could turn back in time, Tessa would still be alive. If she could turn back in time, the gala massacre wouldn’t have happened. If she could turn back time, they wouldn’t have been turned into what they are now.

[handfulofmuses]

As you wake up in a cold sweat

Little girl, what goes on in your head?

All this hatred in your heart, yet

I mourn the most for all the things that I never said

Don't make me go through this again

This story is over, I ripped out the end

[handfulofmuses]

And what if she adopts a hyena, huh? What then?

Nah Cyn woud just take that away from her like she did with Tessa

[handfulofmuses]

What does your soul look like?

the crowned skull

You are a leader, whether you wanted to be or not. You have been burdened by a purpose greater than yourself. All sense of identity has been buried beneath the necessity of duty. Sacrifice is normalcy to you, and every day you trade away pieces of yourself to serve. The people who follow you cannibalize you. They take, and take, and take. But you are no pushover. You have a just mind, and lead with a firm hand. You are a terror to some and hope to others. A tyrant to your dissidents, but a savior to your loyalists. Rarely will they praise you, and often will you suffer the blame for their own failings. But it is your job to bear it all. Who are you beneath the responsibilities? You wouldn’t know; it is a thing grown from your bones themselves. Duty is a burden you will never escape, no matter what form it takes. How long before it breaks you?