#i dont think i need a trigger but if someone is offended let me know ill add it

[aft3rhrs]

— number: unknown ღ

pairing: jungkook x reader

genre: strangers to lovers

warnings: dead dove, yandere, manipulation, corruption, mentions of stalking, mentions of therapy, dirty talk, humiliation, obsession, mentions of masturbation & dub con sex, allusions to cnc, allusions to depression and anxiety, hints of fear kink, use of triggering words in an erotic and degrading manner* (listed under the cut).

*use of the word “rape”.

masterlist

In the last few months, you've grown used to the sound of your phone ringing late at night. It still sent your heart into a frenzy, nerves sparking up like wires — but you peeked at the screen nonetheless, taking less and less time to hesitate to answer.

Number: Unknown.

Palms sweaty, you clicked accept on the call.

A chuckle greeted you.

"Lonely?"

You tried to ignore the chill his voice sent rippling down your spine, raising goosebumps along the way.

"What do you want?"

"Don't be like that," Jungkook cooed. "I missed you. Wanted to check in. What's up? How was therapy last week?"

The question came with a tint of mockery, instantly dusting your cheeks. It wasn't surprising by now that he knew; he knew everything about you, it seemed, from soul to entrails. But you couldn't wrap your head around how, or why he even paid such close attention in the first place. All you were capable of comprehending clearly was the anger blazing in your chest.

"Screw you."

"Aw, come on," he crooned on the line. "I'm just checking up on my favorite girl. Any progress? Did you tell your therapist you let your stalker fuck you right after filing a report? Did you tell him you pick up my calls?"

You felt his words swirl and burn in your stomach, as if you downed a glass of liquor. Shame crawled all over your skin, hot and uncomfortable. Why couldn't you find it in yourself to hang up? For a moment, you considered doing just that, but then quickly brushed off the idea.

Better to entertain him like this than to have him show up at your door.

Right...?

He could hear you breathe in, the lack of an answer curving his lips upwards.

"Well, that's okay. I really don't like you seeing him, though. I'm kind of offended you went to someone else for help."

"You're the reason I need help!" You hissed, unable to stop yourself. "You're seriously sick in the head."

"What a mouthy little thing you are," Jungkook murmured. "Pretty brave for someone who claimed she's afraid of me." His voice lowered to a whisper. "Pretty hypocritical too... I might be crazy, but you're the one still talking to me. Didn't you come all over my cock like a good little girl too? I think you might be a bit sick yourself, sweetheart."

Oh god.

No.

You pretended you didn't feel yourself clench around thin air, pretended your underwear wasn't getting drenched.

"But I don't mind," he continued, raspy, "I can be your therapist, baby. I'll help you feel better."

Your eyes fluttered closed, head growing foggy.

"Why keep running? Why keep running if you always let me catch up?"

"I don't," you whispered, "I'm trying to—"

"No," Jungkook tsked, "you're not. Are you too scared to face yourself in the mirror? Do you see my eyes when you try?"

You shivered for some reason.

"No."

"That's a lie... You like it when I chase you, and no therapy is ever going to help you. You know why?" He coaxed, soft. "Do you know where your sickness lies, angel...? It's not in your head. It's in your heart. You dont trust love, you don't feel it, unless it's got you losing breath, nice and tight, like a noose. Why don't you let me give it to you?"

Despite the pounding of your heart, you tried to keep his words out of your mind, tried to focus before you disappeared so deep into the fog, you'd become a part of it. But you were so tired... and floating in the dark, weightless, felt a little more like peace.

Still, swallowing thickly, you tried.

"Do you get off on taunting all your victims like some kind of psycho?"

"Oh baby," he sighed. "How many times do I gotta tell you? You're the only girl I want. No need to get jealous."

"Go fuck yourself—"

Another chuckle, then a groan.

"I should. I really want to... Miss you so much..."

Your stomach flipped.

"Miss your mouth. Didn't have time to fuck it back then... Would you let me now?"

"No," you breathed out, shaky.

Why were you still talking to him? Why were your thighs squeezed shut so hard?

"Mmm, that's what you said last time, and yet look who ended up begging me to fill that little cunt."

Your hand tightened around your phone, the pulsing in between your legs refusing to cease and getting harder to ignore.

"I know you could take it all," he breathed. "All down your pretty throat, no complaints. Would be too busy sucking, right, baby?"

"Why even bother asking?" you whispered, your voice small, like you knew the answer already.

Because you did.

"Makes me hard," Jungkook admitted, shameless. "It's cute to see you struggle. Acting like a frightened little doe, like you weren't waiting for a wolf to eat you up."

The confession was so dirty, nothing short of predatory; but it made your cunt throb and heat stick to your underwear, and you couldn't decide if you were more disturbed by him or by your own reactions.

"Fuck..." he swore hoarsely. "All that screaming and fighting only to end up begging for it. Do you like it forced? No need to think, no need to make choices. Just taking my cock like a good little rape toy, yeah?"

You weren't able to contain the hitch of your breath, thighs quivering and spine tingling all over.

Jungkook moaned softly in response, the sound shooting straight through your pussy.

"Wanna come?"

This wasn't happening.

You were losing grasp of reality, consumed by the need to find a lifeline. You felt like you caught a fever, your reply coming out more mellow than intended.

"No. Please stop."

"You're a bad liar, little doe. Without me your body and soul feel empty. You need me as much as I need you."

Your eyes fell shut. You shook your head, repeating your denial like a prayer.

"No..."

Your brain was running on automatic, trying to hold on to some semblance of rationality.

"Does it make you feel better to say that?" Jungkook muttered. "Wouldn't it be easier to give in? I know how much you wanna sneak your hand into your panties. Go on, baby. Rub all your thoughts away. It will feel so good."

You felt your thighs tremble again, the wetness between them unbearable. It was getting harder to breathe through the rising heat, your mouth falling open, trying to catch more oxygen into your lungs.

"Go on, pretty. I'll come with you... Just say the word."

Yes.

No, that wasn't right.

Please...

"No," you forced out again, something that sounded too much like a whimper. "I'm going. Stop calling me."

Jungkook just sighed.

"Shame. Can you at least move closer to the window? Do a little twirl for me. I missed you so much..."

Your head snapped in the direction of the window, heart jumping in alarm. Jungkook seemed to know; he sounded so amused, like it was all a game. And he was winning.

"Just kidding. I have some things to do, but I will see you soon, baby."

"Jungkook—" you panicked, shaking your head, "please don't—"

"Goodnight. I love you."

Beep.

He hung up.

You hugged your knees and lowered your head onto them, welcoming the darkness that greeted you, eclipsing the faint glow of your nightlight.

Was this your fault? You were in pieces for so long; surely that must have been to blame for the sickening pull you felt to answer the phone every time he called.

Maybe that was how Jungkook had managed to get to you. Slithered in through the cracks, took advantage of all the empty spaces. Poured himself in like poison, down to the last drop. Maybe that was also why he needed you so much; there was nothing left of him but you.

You let yourself slump onto the bed, probably the last time you'd be able to sleep through the night somewhat calmly. Because when Jungkook said soon... he always meant soon.

And the clock refused to stop ticking.

taglist 💌: @whipwhoops @svnbangtansworld @ane102 @stellalovesstarss @crisle19 @jksteponme @kimseokjinsmirror1233 @dolphinmochi

[libbee]

About air lovers

Air men (moon in gemini/libra/aquarius//moon in 3rd/7th/11th house)

1. Racing thoughts, if I think it I will speak it, I need to speak, no I cannot think internally I need to speak, tell, blurt it out to someone.

2. See, unless you stimulate me, please dont try to befriend me. I am volatile and versatile. If you are not a quick thinker, chatty, conversationalist, how will we connect and bond? How will we stay friends? What do we talk about-you ask? We talk about history, universe, biology, business, science, news, cinema, TV shows, your pet, my pet? No, we dont talk about how I feel, we dont talk magic, we talk concepts and ideas. Emotions are magical, you see. How those witch babes manipulate energy for spells, I am a "how to make friends and influence people/rich dad poor dad" kind of person. Please dont tell me about your healing powers, I am a metacognition/neuroscience kind of person.

3. You are either fun or boring. Sorry, I cannot see anything else that makes a person worthy of my friendship or relationship. My partner is my best friend, we talk, share our thoughts with each other, laugh out loud, we are constantly texting. I only date people who are mentally stimulating. Though I am not too romantic and I dont offer emotional intimacy, but I can offer you a fun time and belly full of laughter. Sorry sir, we dont do inner work here, we dont do self reflection here, we are not that deep. We are all about ideas, thoughts and reasoning. Emotions make things messy and complicated. Y'know I dont have that stability to sit down and get in touch with my feelings. I can be meeting new people in that time, that's just who I am. So if you are someone who's looking for emotional vulnerability, emotional sharing of insecurities and complexes or trying to make me spiritual then I cannot do that, please find someone who is compatible with you. I am not spiritual, I am logical. Sorry, I dont understand what you mean when you say that you are feeling shame/fear/anger, I just dont let feelings trap me, I just move on to the next thing. I dont understand what healing means, I am just not meant for these things. I dont understand what you mean when you say soul or spirit or divine or energy, are these not just words? Where is the proof they exist? You're intuitive? Hmmm, I am more of a thinker type. You're into astrology and tarot? Oh, I am an economics nerd, there is so much to learn and understand in the real world, why are you lost in virtual, spiritual, magical world?

4. I need variety. You can be the most mentally stimulating person in the world but I still need variety. I just need variety. It is not about you, it is about me. Conversations, connections and chatting give me validation, they are fuel to my engine. When I am with you, I wonder what am I missing out on? Please dont feel sad about it, see that's why I dont like feelings. Life is supposed to be fun not serious. I need to try out new things and meet new people. More I try, more I learn. I like mental and emotional freedom. I like playfulness and joy of living. Let's hangout for lunch tomorrow? That's how I like to bond and connect with you. I am not shallow, the right people will understand that I am a very fun and smart friend. You have emotional needs, I have mental needs. We are different. "Let's hangout for lunch tomorrow":

5. LMAO, that's my new joke. My mom was like... and my dad was like.... lmao, seriously that was so funny. You dont like jokes? You're offended, triggered, taking it personally? What even.. How can someone not like jokes? Laughter is the best medicine, my friend. I self actualize with jokes, I roast myself, I twist events to make them funny. I want people to have a fun time with me. I dont know how people can sit in silence and paint or draw or meditate for hours or enjoy their own company. I would rather play video games, watch TV, write some essay or shoot some video for YouTube or tiktok or Instagram-I need motion, movement, to do something. Next task ✅ Next task ✅ Next task ✅ I get bored if I stay at one place for too long.

Air men (sun in gemini/libra/aquarius//sun in 3rd/7th/11th house)

1. If you want to torture me, keep me isolated in a room. Social groups are where I thrive. I cannot stand solitude, simply because being solitary means to sit with my emotions, thoughts, insecurities, complexes and face them. I cannot do that, I just cannot.

2. Fortunately, my life theme attracts many opportunities to make friends/socialize/meet a lot of people on daily basis. Astrology not only tells personality traits but also life event patterns. 3rd, 7th, 11th houses deal with other people, networking, public interactions, connections and relationships, you see the association? Some are born lone wolf, we are not. I can never be a monk, I dont have the emotional discipline for that, though I can be your travel partner to Thailand when you visit a monastery, I love to explore new places.

3. I need you to like me, I am really good at studying others. I like to keep a lot of connections, I like to network with people, people are assets, friends for life, there is nothing much in life. Hanging out with friends, being around people, socializing makes me feel alive, rejuvenated and meaningful. I am a bit of chameleon, yeah so what, you are too. People are not one dimensional, what is this obsession with authenticity? Do you even know who you really are, duh!!

4. When I meet someone, I notice their desirable qualities, what makes them attractive, what is their best quality and I internalize that, make it my own, morph myself into a desirable person. More similar we are, stronger our bond will be. I know I am not authentic but it is simply not my nature to be so. Please appreciate me for what I am capable of offering you. I can be a really nice actor though, I have the charisma and versatility for it.

5. They call me charming. Because my personality shines. I am the person people approach when they are at the cashier. I am the person people approach when I am just minding my own business. I appear desirable, friendly and safe to people. You wouldn't approach an intimidating, stiff, serious person, will you? Let's see it this way, water man and I enter a bar. Bartender greets both of us. Water man emits vibes that provoke uncomfortable emotions, insecurities and traumatic memories in the bartender. But I emit vibes that are comfortable, friendly and safe to feel. I am more approachable. This is because I dont spend my time exploring my depths, complexes, psyche. I am the person who runs the community, I run the entertainment business, I run the economy. If everyone sat down to do self introspection and inner work then who will take care of the material world? See-leave it to me, I can handle that. 

6. Though I make a loyal partner when I am mature. I am loyal because cheating is too much of mess for me for too little return. I am not really obsessed with power, I am the sigma not the alpha, we are equals, I dont want to be superior to you-I dont want power over you. I want to be your friend. I make love with my friend. You are my friend and you are my lover. I dont like power games. Though if I have fire/water placements too then I can be power centric otherwise I am just the equal dynamic type. I am a very balanced type of person.

[roughentumble]

you should never ever ever ever ever base your morals on disgust, because 1) fascists will use that against you to twist your disgust-based morals into something usable to them, 2) THERE WILL ALWAYS BE PEOPLE WHO DONT HAVE THE DISGUST-RESPONSE TO SOMETHING YOU HAVE, AND YOU NEED TO BE ABLE TO AGREE AND ARTICULATE WHY ITS HARMFUL TO COME TO SOLID GROUND WITH THESE PEOPLE

rape, assault, incest-- i dont know why, but these dont trigger the disgust response in me. neither does guro. but i still know that rape causes trauma, assault causes harm, an adult preying on a child will always result in trauma, that there's no ethical way to engage in the mutilation of guro irl without immense harm done to another. i've thought long and hard about the ethics of actions and figured out who is harmed by what and why that matters, and you should too because the disgust response is easily manipulated. a ton of right wing talking points you are offended by are fueled by the disgust response, and they lean into it, making gay people and trans people sound as disgusting as possible to hijack people's higher reasoning

dont let yourself become someone who can be hijacked by a comment that says "x is yucky". think about your morals. think about who is harmed, and how, and why it matters, and think about who wants you to be disgusted and why. examine it!

[gentil-minou]

Reading your sentiadrien post, I just have to say that as a person who really hates this theory, I found this explanation to be comforting to my increasing anxiety over him being a sentimonster. You addressed a lot of the problems I have with this theory but I also think that the fear that some people have for it has a lot to do with the precarious and sensitive position it puts Adrien in. He now has an achilles heel if you will, an area of him that if successfully attacked could result in his demise. There’s also the fact that Adrien is a character a lot of people identify with, and him being a sentimonster in some people’s eyes makes him purposeless. Most individuals want to feel as though they contribute something to the world, that they mattered in some capacity, but if Adrien is a sentimonster he was only created to fulfill the purpose of being perfect in the eyes of his parents. In other words, he has no ulterior purpose, no worthy cause, no free choice. I really liked how you showed the dislike of this theory through the lens of fear, it made me realize that perhaps there’s a more internal reason for me not liking the senti-Adrien theory. This post is really beautiful and perfectly encapsulates what is so special about Adrien’s story!

Anon, first off THANK YOU for asking the question I most wanted to answer:

Does Adrien being a senti-being invalidate his existence, since this means he was created "for someone else"?

For starters, let's highlight what you said here: "Most individuals want to feel as though they contribute something to the world, that they mattered"

Before we talk about how this applies to Adrien, let's first discuss how this might apply to someone more like you or me...

A person is born. They're parents have expectations and beliefs about who they brought into the world ("created" if you will). They see a beautiful little girl, who they picture will one day get married to a lovely man and have a family of her own. They see her growing up to be an amazing housewife, so as they raise her they teach her all the values that they thing matter most to that goal.

They teach her to walk carefully, cross her legs when she sits, speak kindly and with manners. They buy her barbies and dollhouse and pink dresses and chastise her when she reaches for her brother's Legos and superman costume. They enroll her in ballet and gymnastics, even when she cries that she wants to play soccer with her brother and his friends and get muddy. Mom teaches her how to cook and clean and serve guests, so she can be the perfect housewife like she is.

This person grows up to be 13, a developmental age where children begin to develop independence and self identity. Where they take the rules they've learned and see how it applies to them, if it does. The age where they start to question their place in the world, and what freedom means to them.

This person realizes..."I don't feel like a girl." This person cuts their hair really short one night, just to see how it feels (magical). For Halloween they dress up as a boy as a "joke" (they feel amazing). This person realizes they've never liked a guy or girl, that sex and having a family isn't as important to them as being happy and having a fulfilling passion. This person starts going by he/him.

Of course his parents are against it, they even refuse. Throw him out of the house..."You're not who we wanted to bring into the world." And it hurts, he hurts so much. But he also has amazing friends and a supporting community. He leaves the house, but he feels more like a person than he's ever felt in his life. He gets therapy, a name change, surgery, etc and he feels like himself, a person.

Now, anon, because this person didn't turn out like his parents expected him to, does that make him any less valid? Does that negate any of his life experiences? Does this mean his future is not bright?

Going back to Adrien, he is literally a hero. He saves the day. But he's also intelligent, really funny. Cares for his friends. He likes fencing and playing piano with those he cares about. He loves sweets. He has a personality, he even rebels sometimes. He's kind and loving, he wears his heart on his sleeve and lives with every bit of it. He is Chat Noir, 1/2 of Paris' crime fighting duo.

Who cares what he was made for? My parents wanted me to get married and have kids and be a doctor. I haven't done any of that. Does that make me purposeless? Not at all.

I have a purpose, one I found and made for myself (and it was really freaking hard to get this far).

Sure Adrien might have been created to be a certain ay, but as we've seen in the show he has FOUND his own purpose. He chose his own destiny, and he rocks at it.

He does have free choice, he makes it everyday. And since we are still learning the rules of this universe, who can say he won't be able to get his freedom back himself and be truly free?

Saying he has no purpose, no free choice. No reason for existence means nothing because every episode PROVES that he has a purpose, he's doing something no one else can. He's so much more than we think he is. More than what his parents or friends or anyone expect him to be. He's more than what he thinks.

He's himself, he's Adrien, senti or not. And that's all he needs to have a purpose.

[schizopositivity]

what to expect when being admitted to a psych ward (this is from my own personal experiences of being admitted to a mixed involuntary/voluntary facility and a valuntary facility, both for adults, both holding people of all genders):

•when being admitted they are going to ask you a lot of personal questions (mental health history, drug use, triggers, etc), sadly you will have to get used to talking to strangers during your stay

• when they tell you the name of the facility try to remember it, you might be asked where you are later to check your awareness

•they will take your picture for the records

•they will confiscate your phone (this is to ensure that you cant take pictures of other patients)

•they will confiscate all other belongings you have on you and keep them until you are discharged

•they will confiscate your clothes and shoes and have you change into scrubs and the famous grippy socks

•you might be strip searched to ensure you arent hiding anything and to take note of any distingushing birthmarks, scars, tattoos, etc (in my experience this was done by someone who alligned with my sex assigned at birth)

• you will probably have a physical medical exam or just talk to a dr about you medical history and what accomidations or meds you may need during your stay, you may be subjected to blood and/or urine tests

•the doors will be locked and you wont be able to walk out anytime (even in voluntary you have to go through the discharge process before leaving)

•if you use nicotine, depending on the place they will either provide you with nicotine patches/gum or allow you to have cigarette smoke breaks (you have to provide your own cigarettes or have visotors bring them to you and they dont allow vapes because they cant monitor what is in them)

•obviously no recreational drugs or alcohol is allowed

•the place itself will feel bland and clinical (think hospital but devoid of anything you could hurt yourself with)

•you will probably have your vitals checked everyday like compression arm cuff, heartbeat finger monitor and temperature taken

•you might have to wear a face mask at all times in the facility

•if you have a wristband from a hospital you can ask staff to cut it off for you

•you may or may not be roomed with other people (i was roomed with a female since i am afab nonbinary, idk how they room binary trans people)

•the bathrooms will either have a curtain or a door you cant lock (this is for your safety)

•depending on the place and your risk, you will be monitered by staff (in the mixed facility they had to physically see me every 15 minutes, just come into the room and check off a clipboard)

•there will be a front desk that is staffed at all times, feel free to approach and ask for things, ask questions or even ask if they want to play board games with you

•there will be a schedule for meal times and activities, it will be the same every day

•the food will be cafeteria food, think hospital or school cafeteria or possibly worse, they will already be aware of any medical dietary needs of yours but from what ive witnessed they do not do the same for religous or personal dietary needs (like a friend i made in the ward asked if the food was hallal, the staff didnt know but encouraged her to eat it anyway) they will also let you opt out of the prepared meal for something like a sandwich or snacks

•they will also have snack times in addision to the meals, but if at any point you are hungry, ask staff and you might get an extra snack or sandwich

•there might be coffee, it will probably be decaf, and the hours they serve it might be limited

•there might be patients who scream, cry, swear or have psychotic breaks

•there might be patients who are detoxing that might gag, puke or cough repeatedly

•there might be patients with visible self harm/suicide attempt wounds or scars

•there might be patients who are violent and/or sex offenders (the staff should keep you safe, but a patient hurting you is a possibility)

•if you have an outburst or hurt yourself or others, you might be physically handled by staff, given sedatives agaisnt your will, placed in solitary confinement or all three (this should only be done when nessasary to keep you or others safe, if the staff do this without reason or otherwise abuse you, you should report it to police when you have the chance)

•if you cry you will probably be left alone, staff might ask if you want to talk to them

•there will be cameras inside the facility but not in bathrooms, and depending on the place not in bedrooms either (this is for safety, so in the event of abuse there will be proof, i witnessed a patient to patient assault in the ward and the police used the footage to convict the perpatrator)

•there will be landline phones you can use, there may be limited phone hours, and they may limit your time on the phone, the phones are placed by the front desk so staff will be able to listen in on your conversations, they will let you write down phone numbers while you still have your phone during intake so that you can have the numbers later when making phonecalls (in my experience the time limit depends on the staff thats around so some will let you talk as long as you like)

•the phones you use will not allow you to call 911, if you are having a medical emergency you should inform the staff if possible (they will treat you or take you to a hospital if nessasary), if you need to report a crime you should ask the staff to call the police or otherwise file the police report after discharge

•there will be communial TVs with limited hours, you will need to ask the staff to operate the remote (one ward only had cable and the other one only had DVDs and us patients took turns choosing the movie)

•there will be daily group therapy, depending on the place it could be manditory (in the voluntary ward i asked why i hadnt seen any group therapy like the schedule said, and they said no one was asking to go, so i asked and i was the only person in the group therapy lol)

•they might have activities like yoga, art therapy, craft time, music time or other things (if you see it in the schedule you can ask them to tell you when its happening)

•there might be outside time in a fenced off area or there might be no outside time at all (this is for safety)

•the windows might be frosted, tinted or have a dotted film over them (this is for privacy)

•there will probably be activities that you can always access like coloring pages with crayons and/or colored pencils, puzzles, board games and paperback books

•you will get your clothes you came in back probably the next day, they might wash it

•visitors can bring you clothes but it has to have no strings (like drawstrings or shoelaces) no metal bits, and no graphic or offensive prints on clothes

•jewlery is not allowed unless its a piercing

•visitors can bring you books as long as its paperback, and journals as long as it doesnt have a metal spine, and other safe activities like paint by sticker books

•visitors cant bring blankets or towells, that will be provided by the facility

•anything visitors bring has to be checked by staff before they can give it to you

•you might not be able to recieve calls unless the person has an access code that they will provide for you, so you have to call first

•there can be meetings with visitors, it could be limited to certain days of the week or certain hours, your visitors may be subjected to a search, and your visiting time might be monitored by staff

•you will be given your psych meds as normally perscribed, they may have you open your mouth and lift your tounge after you take them to show that you actually swallowed them, you might be able to meet with a perscriber to get a med change

•you will probably have short daily private appointments with a counselor, this wont be as in depth as therapy but rather a way to check your progress, it could even just be like "on a scale form 1-10 how depressed are you?"

•you can still have any phone/telehealth appointments you already had planned, just inform staff and you might be put in a private room with a computer

•ask staff for things! like deoderant, toothbrush, toothpaste, blank paper, to print out an image of something that can cheer you up, honestly anything just ask

•ask staff if you want to shave, clip your nails, or apply makeup, you will probably have to do it in front of staff at the front desk

•for showers ask staff for towells, shampoo, conditioner and maybe body wash (the shower usually has a soap despensor in it) the shampoo and stuff will come in little cups, also if you can, ask for extra towells to place on the floor for when you get out

•your shower time might be limited, the shower probably wont get very hot (to avoid people burning themselves) and it will probably be a timed button that sprays water for 30 seconds at a time so youll have to keep pressing it to shower long enough

•the bed will probably not be very comfy, like thin foam matresses and scratchy sheets

•you can ask the staff for over-the-counter meds like ibuprofen, laxatives, sleeping pills, etc

•the days will feel long, try to keep yourself occupied with activities and phonecalls

•i encourage you to talk to the other patients! you can connect and relate to people in simular situations, older mentally ill people with experience, and just to make friends while youre there (ive even witnessed two men agree to have a romantic relationship only during their time in the ward, they called eachother "hospital boyfriends")

•i encourage you to journal about your experience and feelings while youre there

•how long youll be there really depends on your situation, although both times ive gone they said the usual stay was one week or less and thats how long i stayed both times

•they may require you to do certain things before you are allowed to discharge like get a med change, improve your mood, set up appointments with drs or counselors in the future, get stabalized on meds or show recovery in other ways

•even if you are voluntary, you will need to go through the discharge process before leaving like signing paperwork, collecting your belongings, setting up a ride to leave, and confirming that you have somewhere to go (ive witnessed staff hire taxis, and help people apply and get into shelters)

i dont say all this to scare you or keep you from volunteering yourself into a psych ward, just to warn you about things so that you dont have to be shocked by a totally new environment all at once like i was

everyones experience in psych wards is different, every place is different, i didnt cover psych wards for people under age 18, or gendered wards, or addiction recovery wards or otherwise specialized wards because i have no experience there

but despite the bad parts, my time in psych wards has seriously helped me, it kept me safe from myself when nothing else could, literally saving my life twice, it gave me very important med changes, and it gave me experience with other mentally ill people, like the older woman who told me "as mentally ill people we cant always trust our insticts" and other advice that has helped me

it may feel bleak, it may make you feel trapped, you may feel like you dont belong there, but the bottom line is this is place meant to help you, even if just in the most basic form of keeping you safe, housed, fed and properly medicated

and remember youre still a human, you still have rights, if anything unjust happens to you there you have every right to report it to the police

[bhaalble]

been debating some Cole romance options so here's my rough template for how I think it would start. Long rambly post incoming

Conditions for starting this: While you have flirtation options with Cole as soon as he's recruited (like any other romanceable npc), the romance quest can't be triggered until you do his personal quest that either renders him more spirit or more human. Neither path locks off the romance, but the tone of the romance will obviously be very different depending on that choice.

If you HAVE flirted with Cole before that personal quest, there are additional dialogue options the player can have with both Solas and Varric pertaining to how this might impact Cole's feelings for others. Varric believes turning him more human will open the door to greater depth of relationship, while Solas is mostly just offended he was asked the question and eventually tosses out that Cole's feelings will likely be as they ever were, for whatever that's worth. The player is then able to make the choice as normal. In the next conversation after dealing with the aftermath of the quest the player is given a last flirtation option to "lock" them onto Cole's romance

General Route Knowledge: Spirit or human, Cole remains an entity of compassion. He knows he likes you and wants to help you (wants to help you a *lot*, he's confused by the way you tend to become priority on his radar when entering a room), and he knows that before your choice he could feel a lot of romantic yearning and loneliness inside the Inquisitor. However, Cole doesn't always seem to know the thoughts he's reading until after he says them out loud and gets a response, so I basically think that he knows you want a romantic relationship.

He just hasn't grasped that you want it with *him*

Human Cole Route

You speak to Cole and he urges you, *Really* strongly, to go talk to Varric. The next time the player speaks with Varric it triggers a cutscene where he takes them for drinks, theoretically just to chat. Varric seems noticeably uncomfortable and keeps asking you questions about your romantic life, what type of person youre drawn to, and really really leading questions about your companions and advisors. The player can either indulge this or push back on it. Either way, by the end of the conversation Varric mutters something about not being cut out for this, apologizes to the player, and then leaves.

This happens again the next time you approach Cole, this conversation a lot shorter. Varric seems to be inquiring if the player is attracted to *him*[varric]. The player can shut him down completely or ask if that's even something he would be interesting, and Varric gets nervous and tries to bail again. The player follows him this time and finds him talking to Cole, refusing to go back in there while Cole is pleading with him to just keep asking questions. The player emerges to ask what they're doing and Cole seems visibly upset, insisting that he doesn't know how to help without knowing what they're thinking, he can't figure out the kind of person who they want and he *really* can't figure out the kind of person who deserves them. He tries to vanish only to realize he cant and runs off. Varric encourages the player to follow and they have a conversation in private where Cole confesses that he just wants to help them and the idea that they've been lonely has been eating away at him even when they *aren't* in the room. Which is new and confusing and upsetting to him. The player can either tell him to stop interfering with their love life (ending the romance quest) or tell him that he's been mixing their signals up and its him they want to be with. Cole seems startled, but not opposed, deciding that this is another part of the human experience he wants to try with you. You are officially in a relationship with him.

Spirit Route

After you lock in the romance, the next time you fast travel into Skyhold you'll be placed inside a cutscene where the player walks into the Inquisitor's bedroom. Standing there is.

a.the romanceable companion you have the highest approval with

or b. if you flirted with either of them, Cullen or Josephine (if you flirted with both of them the game chooses between them randomly)

They tell you that they've been hearing rumors that you're romantically interested in them and came to speak to you about it. If you don't meet the race/gender criteria for the character's romance questline (e.g, if you're a girl who has Dorian in this cutscene) then there's an additional layer where they're trying to let you down easy. The player is then given the chance to set the record straight and asks where they even got that information. They pause for a moment and all say some variation of "that's funny. i can't remember who told me...." before leaving with some degree of embarassment.

The player can then go to confront Cole about it. He says something cryptic about doing better next time and then whispers *forget* before vanishing, leaving the player to look a little lost before going about their day.

The next time you fast travel into Skyhold you're met by the romanceable companion you have the lowest approval with in your chambers. The dialogue is a little different depending on if they outright hate you or are just neutral, but mostly they're still like. really. like sure it takes all kinds but I never saw this coming from you- and the player's like hang on. this all seems a little fucking familiar

So they leave mid conversation to track down Cole, who they find sitting in the battlements above their room, clearly listening, and confront him. He's about to wipe their memory again when they tell him it didn't work, and they remember what happened. This throws him off because. That shouldn't happen. That shouldn't happen why do they remember? Are his powers failing, how is he getting this *this* wrong its helping thats what he's *for*?!?! The player makes the choice that locks them into a relationship or end it here in that they can either

-say they don't care why its happened, but this needs to stop. Cole reluctantly agrees to leave it alone and you're taken off the romance track for him

-The player suggests that maybe the reason they remember is Cole secretly doesn't *want* them to forget. He wants them to remember it not working out even with the person they're close with. That's also why he set you up with the person you have the least chance with this time. he's sabotaging himself and you because deep down Cole doesn't want you in a relationship with someone else, and in his core he knows you dont want that either. This leads to Cole feeling uncharacteristically frustrated for his spirit state. talking about how he can't get you out of his head. Its interfering with his work and whats worse is that he's more scared of it healing that it hurting like this. He doesn't want it to go away. What follows is essentially

Player: so help me help you. It won't go away, but it might make it easier to deal with. For both of us

Cole: ....It won't be like with a person. Is that a problem.

Player: No. I won't be like a spirit. Is that a problem for you?

Cole, softly:....no.

After this you're locked into a relationship with him.

Soooo thats basically what I have for an inciting incident. More to come, the little shit's given me brainrot.

[villainsandvictimsalliance]

Omg do you have more cute hcs with the lov and class1a/1b

I dont care how long or short it is, I ABSOLUTELY LOVE READING THEM 💕����💕💕💖 😊😊

Theyre so comforting <333

YES I HAVE A BUNCH. COME TAKE IT ALL.

Tomura is an expert in video games, right? Well, he's currently working from afar with Hatsume and Melissa to create a VR system to help the kids at UA train.

Everything because the first thing he did when meeting Nezu was telling him the UA system sucked.

No more public exposure, no more simple barriers keeping away the villains from the kids, no more pushing them to dangerous places with no proper supervision.

The new job of the League when it comes to working is the UA is keeping the place as safe as possible and helping the kids recover from the trauma of the war.

Dabi doesn't like working directly with the kids, so his job consist on patrolling around the UA. In case a crisis is reported, he's the first at the place and his job is to keep the crisis on minimum 'til the teachers arrive.

The funniest part is the type of crisis he has solved so far. They include:

Helping people with their crushes because they tried to confess and caused an accident. (Dabi has the fun of his life with it, being honest).

Accidents in the kitchen. (No much he can do except using Shoto as a way of taking down the flames).

Stupid fights (He is banned from helping in those since he cheered for Shoto when he was fistfighting Iida for saying something to Midoriya).

And his favorite: keeping Mineta at bay. Dabi is not the type of gentleman that defends women constantly, because he just doesn't care about helping anyone. But Mineta is a type of gross he would have incinerate in the streets if he was a man and not a kid. So instead, he just walks from a safe distance and keeps scaring the kid when he's about to annoy one of the girls.

Tomura always find Dabi is the halls complaining about the no smoking rule

They make fun of each other a little until they realize they should be working and there are kids staring at them.

Class 1-A talks about Dabi like the older brother who was in jail.

Oh, but Dabi told me...

They are actually well informed about a bunch of stuff and they know how to take care of street criminals better now.

Ah, but they're also the ones who check if he is not drinking too much, if he's having proper rest, if his burns and staples are taken care of, if he's not too anxious or depressed, if hes' taking his meds...

If he's not following one of those, they call Natsuo. Oh man, Natsuo has become the emergency contact of half the League somehow. Maybe because he has a golden heart or maybe because they all are scared of Fuyumi by some weird reason.

Shoto is the other emergency contact when it comes to Dabi, hmmm, but sometimes he just follows Dabi bad example and well.

Dabi is the anti-Santa. He's gonna give you that one gift you wanted but everyone said no because it's dangerous.

"Dabi, I'm trying to make a safer space for the kids" , "Tomura, I'm trying to make them relax".

After getting fired twice by Aizawa, Dabi is finally behaving.

This has nothing to do with the fact that he's finally dating Tomura tho.

WHICH TAKE US TO: SPINNER, THE BROTHER WHO ACTUALLY ACKNOWLEDGES HIS RESPONSIBILITIES.

Spinner works in the same thing as Dabi, but he's the reliable one.

Getting Uraraka down when she starts floating on her sleep, calming people down when they're having anxiety attacks, noting when someone is having a bad day and requesting the teachers to let the person rest...

Spinner is the one actually helping them with their ptsd. He makes everything so easy and pleasant. It's like they're just kids taking classes and having fun.

Besides, class 1-B knows he is amazing at cuddling and people love his hugs. Just by seeing Spinner, they cheer up.

He and Shinso are responsible for the purple hair tendency among the kids of General Studies. Their heroes.

He's also the one who helps the kids with their training sessions when they need a partner but there's no one else to help them.

He became one of the official bus drivers of the school after taking some lessons and requesting a license.

He sings with them while they travel, he always has snacks in case someone is hungry and he has pills in case someone is motion sick. Well, a bunch of pills since Dabi is always motion sick.

He had a crush on Tomura but he realized it was more platonic than anything.

Now now, Tomura and Spinner have matching gamer tattoos that said Player #1 and Player #2. Dumbasses in action.

If Dabi is the problematic uncle and Spinner is the responsible uncle...

That leave us with: Compress the artistic dad and Kurogiri the dad who's always working far away but you can totally rely on.

THE VIDEO CALLS WITH KUROGIRI AND COMPRESS ARE SO CUTE.

101 Flirting with Compress.

All the kids in all courses have a personalized mask. Compress is addicted to creating them.

His beautiful, mischievous kids that once, trying to distract him, stole his prosthesis and kept it going around the school from room to room.

Turns out it was a surprise party, but man if it was fun because Compress pretended the whole time he was a pirate looking for his long buried treasure.

HE GOT A PARROT AND HE NAMED HIM RED BEAK.

Bakugo almost exploded the whole place after hearing such a ridiculous name.

Well, Red Beak loves making fun of Bakugo, repeating everything he says.

RED BEAK AND KIRISHIMA ARE BESTIES. YES YES.

The Bakusquad would kill for Red Beak.

Sero is teaching him Spanish, Mina is teaching him to dance, Denki is teaching him bad jokes and Jirou is teaching him to sing.

Tokoyami is the official protector of Red Beak. Koda is the translator.

On the other hand, Kurogiri always gives them some honey and other things when he visits the school.

He congratulates them on their achievements, he hears them for hours talking about their adventures and he is the old friend you call when it's 3am, you're feeling bad but you don't want to worry no one else.

If you want to solve a problem, call Kurogiri. He's gonna give you the clues but let you solve it yourself.

The award for the dad with more patience goes to: KUROGIRI.

If you really really need to run away from some hours, he can use his quirk to rescue you and he would prepare some tea for you, wrap you in a soft sweater and walk with you through his yard. You can pick flowers or fruit with him until you calm down. Or you can watch old movies with him. Or bake. Being with him is like floating around in the sky, no worries, just clouds and stars and soft noises and lights.

The school always knows when it happens and they are okay with it. Mostly. Just don't do it too much.

Toga is another good option if you need to talk but you don't know with who.

She's actually a great listener and an expert on making things look less stressing than they are. You see, she pays attention at your triggers and moods and if she sees something is bothering the students, she finds a way to distract them immediately, while letting the teachers deal with the problem.

Ah, the queen of gossip.

If you want to know something about someone you need to pay the prize, tho. And she won't even tell you if she considers the secret must be guarded 'til the grave.

She's the one who takes the messages to the parents because she's fast, can hide at plain sight and doesn't put them in danger.

You never know where Toga is. She someone studies like the rest of them, but she's like, selected to secret missions. She has a lot of info but they all trust her somehow.

Maybe is the fact that she would kill and take a stab for you. And that she would never put Deku or Ochaco in danger. Or her family.

She's also Mineta's biggest nightmare.

Try sexualizing the girl and win a terrifying week, courtesy of Toga Himiko.

She won't let you sleep, she won't let you eat, you're gonna wish you were never born. She can make you feel as sexualized, observed and stalked as you make the girls feel. Oh, she's gonna show you exactly how it feels to be a girl.

Also don't sexualize the boys around her either. Stabby queen is not gentle to those who are not gentle with her friends. Period.

Friendly reminder: 0 stabbing accidents since she started studying at UA.

BECAUSE THEY GAVE HER A RUBBER KNIFE.

And finally, the Tomura headcanons.

He's always falling asleep on odd places. The kids have a new name called "let's put a blanket on Tomura".

And then they call Dabi or Spinner to take him somewhere more comfortable.

He's working so hard. He's really working so hard on redeeming himself, even when everyone has already forgiven him. But he has this fear of being a failure or being too much...

The kids are also well trained on how to help him through his anxiety or panic attacks. Even more, some of them have always a pair of gloves in them just in case.

Momo is more than happy to make him more.

It's kinda sad how much he's suffering even now. That's way they all do their best to let him know his doing great.

Kisses in the cheek, compliments on how he's looking, new products to his hair and skin, playing the games he recommends, telling how badass he is when he trains them...

Somehow being around Tomura has help them realize how important is communicating stuff. They all are way healthier now.

Tomura is just... So sincere. He's been instructed to share his thoughts, because he had a problem before with communicating properly. That means he used to forget saying certain information because it was obvious to him, but not to others.

He doesn't mean to hurt people. He's just saying what he thinks. Which also means he offends a bunch of people not by accident. And he doesn't apologize because he is just doing what he's been told.

Midoriya and Shigaraki's discussions are epic. And so are their fights. Yes, they fight like siblings. Which is crazy funny because they are like "friendly reminder you tried to KILL ME" and "WELL YOU DESERVED THAT FOR BEING A DICK".

They've finally found out that you can complain to him or get a little violent and he's not gonna even blink, just hear you out.

It was because Bakugo got a little violent with him and yeah, he just stared back waiting.

You can't imagine Dabi's anger when Tomura told him about Kotaro. He was frustrated because at least Tomura did step on Endeavor and humiliated him for life, but him? He is angry with a man that's dead and gone.

Okay no, the whole League is angry about the things that has happened to the whole League. That's the thing with finally being able to relax and feel. It all comes back in a flood.

They have prohibited being around school when the parents visit. Specially because they are no very civil to shitty parents.

And if a kid confess about having shitty parents, oh boy. The League is gonna BE PISSED.

The UA is still a total chaos, but now in the right ways. They have more normal problems, they don't have to win war and kill evil lords, they complain about not having money to go out and forgetting their homework. And the ex-villians can complain about life being boring a needing more action.

That's a good thing. That means they all are healing, together.

They're gonna be fine.

[taegularities]

HALF A DAY LATER BUT I AM HERE!!!

hello, beautiful rid💜

A tattooed arm wraps around your waist, pink lips coming close to yours and dark eyes reading your desire in your pupils. “What other girls when there’s you?”

ooof???!!

[…] as you plead, “Just… fuck me dumb and stupid. Please. I’ll leave right after if you want me to, but I just–”

ma’am this is a mcdonald’s drive through

Because deeper thoughts mean attachment. Deeper thoughts mean missing each other without provocation, no proper trigger needed. Deeper thoughts mean dedication, craze and losing yourself in someone’s devotion.

let’s revisit this line chapters later

But you wonder if you ignite something new in him the way he does in you; something anyone else doesn’t.

NO!!! but yes i mean

“I need you to be my boyfriend,” you blurt, biting your lip right away as you watch his form freeze on his mattress. His cheeks are flushed from the sex you just had, and you can see them grow one shade darker as soon as he registers your words. “Please.”

AAAAH

You roll your eyes in exhaustion, shaking your head as you remark, “Your fantasies are truly as wild as a four year old’s.”

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Considering the fact that Jungkook studies at the university with saved money while balancing his bank account carefully, it’s only natural that he feels uneasy with your offer. And sitting here with you, the daughter of arguably one of the richest families in town and your country, his discomfort only grows further.

baby :(

He thinks of the stray bristles of his used brushes that accompany all of his paintings. Remembers all the nights he gave up on his work, unsatisfying strokes on his canvas frustrating the perfectionist in him. His watercolours are too old, acrylics dried.

i just know i love him so much already

Shrill laughter of a group of people in the background interrupts your train of thoughts, accompanied by overwhelming claps – whoever made the joke of the century, must have caused a broken eardrum or two.

jung hoseok is this u

You wonder if he called Nara similar names tonight.

we don’t need this

Perhaps not through his actions – you don’t think he’d ever jab your heart on purpose.

😭😞

“I feel like I’m in The Princess Diaries or something.”

PLSSSS

But Jungkook only shrugs his shoulders, smiling at you before he ignores your orders further. With a relaxed, bored tone in his voice, he says, “The food lands in my tummy anyway.”

he’s so cute 🤣🤣🤣🤣😭😭😭 i can’t stop giggling!!!!

“Always begging for me, aren’t you?”

WE MUST STAY FOCUSED, BROTHERS

Jungkook audibly holds his breath for a moment when you straddle him, shaking your slippers off your feet as you wrap your arms around his neck. He straightens his back, staring up into your hooded gaze as he insists, “I think you’re prettier.”

🫣 but also 🥰

“No neighbours… means… no one here to complain about the sounds you pull out of me.”

OH?

“By the way. Talking about boyfriend privileges… you’re also the first one to see my collection of… Percy Jackson books…”

JEON JUNGKOOK IS SUCKLING AT YOUR NECK, WE DONT CARE ABOUT THAT RIGHT NOW!

“Aren’t you brave today? You know I’m gonna take your ability to speak, right?”

“What, you think I’m scared of,” you eye him up and down, puffing out a mocking breath, “your ridiculous dick?” His jaw clenches, though he doesn’t seem offended or mad; rather, you feel another jerk of his cock, pleasantly satisfied. “Try me, Kookie.”

PLAKSNEKIAIS SYES GIRL!!!!!

“Could fucking punish you for this big mouth of yours. Tie you up and smudge your fucking make up,” you hear him say from above as he pulls down his clothing and sets his girthy length free.

I NEED A MINUTE OK??!!!!!

“Well… you’re gonna pretend some for your parents,” he looks at you, a lopsided smirk appearing, “then, you’re gonna fall for me,” fingers trace your shoulder and arm; and for some reason, you let him, “and you’re gonna beg me to stay because you find me so,” he lowers his voice, unnecessarily dramatic, film dialogue-ish, “undeniably hot.”

uh maybe jeon wtf 😳

[…] nudging your shoulder with his own as he assures, “Deal. Don’t worry about the papers. There’s just you anyway.”

AGAIN?

i’m so excited for the next updates!!!

AWWWWH DEAREST PAULI, A FEEDBACK WITH QUOTES, THIS IS LITERALLY SO SWEET !!!!!

the mcdonald's drive through comment made me cackle 😭 and u know what.... yes let's revisit those lines later, we might all just be mocking oc then 😔 and gosh i love him, too !!! the things i've planned with cmi!jk made me fall for him SO HARD. i hope u feel the same once the story proceeds 💕

btw, jung hoseok 👀 nara 👀 HMMM

SERIOUSLY WHO CARES ABOUT PERCY JACKSON, we've got jk bruising our neck 😔 AND YES AGAIN.... she's the only one.... she is, right? riiight?

gosh thank u for reading, love, this is so lovely and i can't wait for the next update either !! 😭 <3

[zuffer-weird-girl]

Request: hi honey!! I apologize for my English, but I must tell you that you are my favorite blog!! you have an incredible writing style, reading each of your works I remain in awe, thank you so much for what you do!! if it's not too much, can I ask Kai to with a s/o who has asthma? it's like they're having a really big fight and he says something so offensive that it triggers an asthma attack? sorry if this is too much, you can ignore the request if you don't like it!

Man will treat you like a porcelain doll. He is hella scared of you having a asthma attack.

Expect that if you dont have that air pump with you he has at least two in his fucking pockets.

And usually he is a calm guy.

So you can expect that fights will be as rare as him willing to dirty his hands.

Yet eventually, arguments tend to happen.

Chisaki is very calm and stoic on arguments, not yelling really. What hurts is how actually calm he is about the issue and how cold and uncaring his words are.

Rarely he gets, well, like we saw him fighting with Mirio and the heroes.

But that doesn't mean it hurt any less.

So one day, the big fight happened.

It was over his own attitudes and plans for the Hassaikai, much like Pops you knew that he was a man whose always tended to go way too far.

And Kai instead of understanding that you were trying to calm him down and make him see that this was not a good idea, he understood he was being attacked.

So it began.

Change of harsh words between you and ocassionaly a curse here in there.

But Kai wasn't even thinking straight at the moment and accidentaly let something slip.

"You were suppose to be help and support me dearest." He said sarcastically the nickname with a sigh, ignoring the ocasional cough you let out now at then "Oh right, how can I even count with you for help since you cant actually even do even one task right, even breathing."

His words stung like a fucking knife perfuring your chest... but what you didn't expected was to suddenly start a coughing fit.. suddenly it was like you had lost control of your own body as you tried to kneel down to get at least a bit of air back in your lungs, as always, it felt like someone was squeezing the air out of you. And the more you tried to cough, breath, anything... you felt your lungs simply stop working.

Your vision was fading even... oh god..

He only sighed and rolled his eyes, hand still pinching his covered nose.

"What now? Dont pretend you're having a attack over something so insignificant as-" He hissed before his eyes widened.

He made a quick analysis and his own breathing seemed to stop at the moment, tightened neck and chest muscles, you couldn't even mutter a single word, your face was pale and sweaty and the worst was seing your lips turning into a blue shade as well as your fingernails which clenched both of your chest and the wooden floor as you desperately tried to get some air back in your body.

"Shit!" He cursed and kneeled on the floor to grab you, thankfully that his shout was loud enough to get attention of Chronostasis and Nemoto.

"What happened?"

"Call the 119 or a doctor, hell kidnap if that's the cas evit get A FUCKING DOCTOR HERE QUICK!" he shouted as both nodded and got out of the house like thunders.

He helped you up and looked at his office while his hands were unbuttoning your shirt to lose enough. He had to stay calm or else he knew he would make things way worse.

"Stay calm angel for me please.." he hissed when your coughing got worse and lifted his trembling palm to indicate you to wait as he went to grab the reliever inhaler... only to notice it wasn't there.

Shit. Shit. Shit. SHIT-!

"Fuck! (Y/n) where is yours?!" He asked in desperation "Angel for the love of God just answer this one please!" He grabbed on your shoulders as you tried, really tried to get your words out.

Kn a state of panick he didn't even thought about forgeting one of them on his jacket so in a moment of bright he let out a gasp and ran towards his room grabbing the little device and returning as quickly as he could.

"Here." He knelt down and offered as your hands desperatly and harshly grabbed the reliever inhaler and finally you could get at least some air back as he shakily sighed.

"Thank God..." he lowered his head before both Nemoto and Kurono got in along with a doctor.

.

.

.

"Well, you did the right choice of giving (Y/n) the air puml in time or else you would have to take them to a hospital." The doctor spoke after doing a check up and using their quirk on you to make sure you were still all right.

He couldn't even complain about it... he was the main one that caused this.

You were still breathing in and out slowly as you answered with a dry throat the doctor's questions, Nemoto being kind enough to bring a cup of water for you as you shakily took in your hands. While he was up on his feet, crossed arms over his chest and looking at the ground.

After some time the doctor eventually leaves and both his subbordinates... leaving you two alone on the room as you evicted his gaze like a plague.

"..(Y/n).." he manage to speak but winced when he saw your shoulders tensing and how your grip on the cup tighten..

"What?" You asked, cold and so so distance of him...

He closed his eyes with a sigh uncrossing his arms to scratch the back of his neck.

Opening them again he could see you weren't looking at him, the door being the main focus of your attention now ... surely you wanted to leave at this point.

Hus pride was always something that spoke way too loud for gus own sake... but now? With you? After what he did and at first didn't even take you seriously?

He could give a damn about his pride. Or if the floor wasn't clean enough as he kneeled between your thighs and grabbed your hands on his as he supported his head on your and his hands... jaw clenched along with his teeth as he clenched close his golden eyes.

"Forgive me... forgive me..." he muttered in broken whispers as you finally looked down at him with a shocked expression... "It was all my fault, forgive me..."

You blinked at the scene, Chisaki would kneel down to someone only if hell freezed over but yet, there he was, not only kneeling and clenching on you like you were going to dissapear but also begging for forgiveness. Chisaki Kai was begging for you to forgive him...

You were still hurt sure but... that scene was way too shocking.

"Kai I-" you tried to take at least one of your hands out but he only clenched more... no sound coming from him yet you gasped at feeling a drop of something wet on your thighs.

"Dont pull away now..." came his shaken up voice "please... in one moment I almost lost the only good thing on my life so please... Don't... I judged you and offended you by your condition but..." he lifted up his head to show you red and broken golden eyes that were dropping one tear or two by each second... his face remained calm but still he only lifted his head, not his gaze to look at you directly.

He didn't deserve it.

"I was a hypocrite... myself couldn't even breath when I saw you on that way..." his grip on your hands tightened as be choked on a sob "I'm no deserving of you... yet I can't even fucking breath at the thought of lose you... especially because of me and my fucking... attitude." He brethed shakily as he shoulders shaked along as he dropped his head again.

You could take your hand away this time but to his shock, you placed on his hair as he widened his eyes at the feeling...

"Well... it may take a time for me to just forgive this.. but you know that it doesn't matter what you do..." more tears started to form at you scratching his scalp "I still love you..."

He 'tsked' to hide the painfull and choking sob that almost ripped out of his throat as he let his head fall in your lap as he holded one of your hands on his two gloved ones.

"Just try to at least listen and... take me seriously sometimes... be better not only for me but to yourself as well Kai..." you muttered while kissing his head as his grip tightened on your hands.

"H-How can I if I'm nothing but a demon with no heart...?" He whispered, hoping that only him could hear but he was wrong..

"You have a heart. If you love me this much to be in this way at the thought of losing me..." you lifted his head up and finally looked down at him with a kind smile "I'm sure you can do it.. I trust you wwith all my heart Kai."

He clenched his teeth together as he dropped his head in defeat, letting go of your hand to inappropriate hug your waist... it didn't matter if it felt uncomfortable... he just needed to proof to himself he hadn't ruined anything.

He could at least try be a better man for his angel... right?

[nxrthmizu]

hey babe! idk if u take this kind of requests, im terribly sorry if u dont, i didnt saw anything bout it so im sorry once again. im also sorry if this so happens to trigger u or make u uncomfortable, but if u could perhaps make suna and osamu's reaction to having an insecure s/o? like, she was bullied when younger bc of her weight, so she avoids mirrors, tries dangerous diets and overexercises herself trying to feel better? i had to go to the hospital bc of that and could really use some comfort

»»——⍟——««

request | suna and osamu with a s/o who’s insecure about their weight

warning(s) | self-insecurity, overexerting 

words | 1.3k

author’s note | Hey Ana! (It’s been a while, watch me drop into your inbox later >:)) Of course I’ll write this, feel free to dm me if you need someone to talk to okay? I hope you’re feeling better now, remember that your body loves you, so love your body too, okay? <3 mwah 

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↬ suna rintarou 

the first time he brought you to his apartment, he noticed how you eyed the reflective surfaces like they were a threat 

you avoided the windows and the one floor-length mirror he has in his room 

he didn’t understand why you hated reflective surfaces so much, but the next time you were over at his apartment, he had installed curtains and he hid his mirror inside the closet 

when he brought you to a family gathering, he noticed how you flinched when some of his aunts made comments about your weight (he didn’t like them much either, but after seeing how much they affected you he swore he was going to tell them ‘Hi Aunty, you still look pretty young for 75!’ his aunts are only 40-50 years old.) 

his aunts eyed you and told you ‘Wow ah girl, you gained some weight since the last time I saw you! Come come, I introduce you to this weight-loss drink, my friend sells it so you can get it for cheaper price!’ 

the whole time suna was narrowing his eyes and thinking to himself that you didn’t need the stupid weight-loss drink because he thinks you’re perfect the way you are 

he’ll be darned if he let them talk to you let that, especially since you look even more uncomfortable by the passing moment 

so he interrupts, putting his arm around your waist ‘Wow Aunty, your skin still looks pretty clear, especially since you’re already 70!’ 

they definitely looked offended but he continued, ignoring them ‘And this weight-loss drink that your friend is selling... Are you drinking it? Because if so...’ he looked them up and down ‘It doesn’t look very effective.’ 

you’re confused, but you let him do what he wants 

your man totally tore down his aunts, no mercy at all 

when he was finished, he smiled sweetly at them, told them the two of you needed to get going, and high-tailed out of the family event he didn’t really want to be at anyway 

his younger sister covered for the both of you, saying that one of suna’s friends had an emergency and the two of you needed to leave to help his friend 

after he brought back to his home, he dragged you into the bedroom, plopped you on the bed, and asked you to be honest with him 

you admitted that you were bullied when you were young, and that throughout your teenage years you were constantly picked at by family members/classmates about your weight 

you also told him that’s why you avoid mirrors and reflective surfaces, and that you tried dangerous diets and overexercised to the point you collapsed 

the whole time he was getting even angrier but he tried not to let it show because damn it he loves you so much why can’t you love yourself too???

proceeded to drag out the floor length mirror and pointed to every part of your body and explained what he liked about it 

‘your arms. I like how they feel when you wrap them around me for a hug’ ‘your stomach is always so warm and I love when you let me lie on your stomach’ ‘your thighs are so cute and they feel nice when they’re tangled with my legs’ 

suna would set an alarm on his phone to remind him to tell you he loves your body every day 

he also set up a healthy diet for you, and if you want to go back to exercising he would join you and make sure you don’t overexert yourself 

this man would appoint himself as your personal trainer, he’ll go on jogs with you every morning, would help you with your sit ups, will massage your sore muscles after a workout 

10/10 the most supportive athlete boyfriend ever 

↬ miya osamu 

he expresses his love for you in onigiris, so imagine his surprise when you decline his newest salmon onigiri recipe 

‘what’s wrong?’ immediately drops everything, has a mini crisis because do you not love him anymore??? did you find someone who makes better onigiris??? 

you shake him off, tell him it’s nothing, that you’re just not hungry 

do you take him for  idiot because nope he’s not convinced, not at all 

but you didn’t seem like you wanted to talk about it so he lets it be, he won’t push you if you don’t want to tell him 

osamu started questioning his cooking skills because you’ve been eating less, you’ve been telling him you have no appetite 

please tell him it’s not his fault this man is panicking 

it went to the point where he called atsumu for help because he’s desperate 

atsumu listened to him (without interrupting, what a miracle) and these two clueless brothers tried to piece together what’s wrong 

they did not come up with a conclusion lmao 

it isn’t until the two of you went to eat dinner with your family that he realises what the problem was the whole time 

your cousin, who’s a model, eyes you and tells you you’ve gotten fatter, you should probably get on a diet again

he doesn’t miss the way you flinch visibly 

your mother snapped at your cousin, saying that as long as you’re healthy it’s fine 

your brother/father told you to ignore your cousin and put some food in your plate 

but you didn’t touch your food after that, you just smiled weakly and said you weren’t hungry- That was the point that he realised that his cooking wasn’t the problem 

the drive home is quiet, because you’re just staring outside the window with this blank expression 

the first thing he does when he gets home is make you an onigiri and a cup of tea, because you didn’t eat much and he will make sure you at least get something in your stomach 

he had that expression that said ‘if you don’t eat I will feed you this one mouthful at a time’ 

so you ate until he was satisfied 

he sat down on the couch next to you and made you look at him 

‘you are amazing the way you are, I love your body just like I love every other part about you’ he told you with a very determined expression ‘I’ll find a way to make my onigiris with less calories as long you promise me you’ll eat enough’ 

‘I don’t know what happened to you when you were younger, but all I know is that your cousin is an idiot. you shouldn’t go on a diet, instead you should eat healthily. I’ll research what foods are good for you and I’ll come up with new recipes.’ 

you were ready to cry because how much more romantic can he get, making new recipes just for you 

you told him that you were bullied for your weight when you were younger, and that you tried dangerous diets and once overexercised until you collapsed and had to go to the hospital 

not gonna lie, this man was ready to hunt down your cousin and murder someone 

‘if you ask me, you look pretty healthy, but if you want to exercise we could do it together, I used to play volleyball in high school after all- And I’ll look up on foods that will help you with your weight’ 

he made you promise him that you wouldn’t keep saying you weren’t hungry and that you would eat 

was the human version of a golden retriever puppy when you tried his new, less-calorie salmon onigiri :) tell him it’s delicious, he’ll love you forever 

»»——⍟——««

I hope this was satisfactory! Like I said before, feel free to dm me if you need to talk okay? Also I’ll send some extra comfort your way later <3 mwah take care of yourself! 

»»——⍟——««

[sisterssafespace]

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته، أخوات

i have some bad coping mechanisms because of situations i’ve been through as a child. honestly, i’m trying to change & find better coping mechanisms - journaling, gym anything positive. but, it is a slow process because i’m still healing. ‎الحمد لله على كل حال

i think these coping mechanism are starting to influence those around me? for example, i shutdown a lot when i’m triggered by something or upset; now they do too. i purposefully distance myself from other when i’m upset; now they do too.

it’s sort of discouraging because i feel like i’m trying so hard to change. yet i can see them doing what i’m trying so hard to leave behind?

then i start to think what if they had always been like this. however, i’m only noticing now but, i feel like this is less likely because i’ve known them for years.

not once have i seen these negative traits in them. now, i see these traits in them more & more with each day.

i want to speak to them about it but, everytime i do they say ‘i have always been like this.’ i feel as though it’s not true because with me they have never been like that.

sometimes, i think it’s because my actions have hurt them? so, when i’m upset& i distance myself from them they are hurt. by copying what i do i end up feeling the same way they do. الله أعلم

these are only my thoughts. if you could offer some advice it’d be a great help too.

-🤍

و عليكم السلام و رحمة الله و بركاته beautiful soul 🍃

I hope you are in the best shape of health and Iman.

Reading your asks I had two seperate ideas pop up in my mind: it reminded me of a conversation I had with my therapist a few sessions ago about coping mechanisms, and of Mufti Menk's last khutbah this Friday that was posted on YouTube about heart breaks. I will start with the latter because it is a very brief idea. Mufti Menk said we do talk about being broken hearted but how much of our doing did break other people's hearts. - well this is about the part you mentioned about the thought that you might have hurt those people around you by isolating and distancing yourself in the past - I really don't mean anything with it, your words just reminded me of the khutbah and I wanted to share, you might want to check it, it's there on YouTube. I can link you the video if you want 😘

Moving on to the main point: coping mechanisms, and I quote my therapist (shhh don't tell her 😅) : coping mechanisms are tools that come with our personalities. They are not something we choose. They are related/ specific to each personality type, and we dont get to judge or evaluate if they are good or bad. /End quote. However, depending on the level of our self-awareness and knowledge, we can identify the patterns that are 'unhealthy' and try to replace them with healthier ones. Which is something you are already doing sis! You are finding your escape on journaling, gym, etc. That's great! I really congratulate you on this transformation. Proud of you! Allahuma barik ✨ The thing is, we can't always control our reactions? Because they are steaming from the emotional part in our brain, and the rational part needs a bit of buffering before it takes the wheel? So maybe sometimes we catch ourselves doing the unhealthy behaviors as an immediate response, then we take a break, we rationalize, and decide to break/ stop that pattern and opt for something healthier, with little damage? What I am saying is, it is not a work of magic, nor is it a software code, even if we try to condition our brain to work the heathier way, sometimes we find ourselves falling into our old traps, and when that happens, we shouldn't be upset or disappointed in ourselves (or in therapy for example), we should just take a breath, understand ourselves, understand our triggers, break the pattern and switch to the healthier coping mechanisms. I remember my therapist referring to them as " emotional paracetamol " pills, that should be always in our pocket and we should take them whenever necessary.

Now, I need to stop myself from deviating. Referring to your story, tbh, I do believe that these people in your life could be honest when they said that they have always been like that, maybe you really never noticed, because you lacked the self-awareness before? And when we don't know/ can't identify something, it is evident that we wouldn't see it in others, when we see it we can't identify it, we can't name it.. with that being said, maybe growing up and in your teen years with all the emotional tornment that comes with adolescence, you never really paid attention? So my advice on this matter is : let it go, don't give it heavier weight, and forgive yourself. Don't stay hung up on the past and what you can't change, rather invest all your energy on the present and how you can be there for them. Also, it is very normal if you find that person a bit reserved when you start trying to connect with them and get them to open up. Usually we tend to feel weird and wary when someone starts to behave differently towards us? Even if the new behavior is the healthier one, the behavior we had always waited for them to adopt and wished for..? It's confusing tbh, and we start doubting their intentions maybe because a part of us don't want to get our hopes up to be crashed again? Maybe because we have trust issues? Do you get my point? So I think you should be persistent even if they don't show compliance at first, you should show them that you are in it for the long run and that you really are there for them, you want to support them, fix whatever is wrong and help them heal and grow.. so basically what I am saying is don't be discouraged if they are still closed off, don't back down, keep trying.. in shaa Allah eventually they will open up and they will be grateful you didn't give up on them.. 🤍 And it's only then when they feel safe that you can start talking about the unhealthy coping mechanisms and the 'negative traits' like you said, because at any point before that trust is built, they will feel probably feel attacked and they will feel offended, yk? So be patient, and take it slow with them, nobody said this was easy, but it's only the 'special ones, the strong ones' do decide to break toxic cycles and unhealthy patterns, the average continue to exist randomly aimlessly and continue spreading and repeating those cycles, in vain. I am proud of you sis 🤍

May Allah swt help you break the cycle, and cross the bridge to a healthier stage of life. May Allah swt mend your heart and fill its cracks with light and Iman. Ameen. 🤍

P.s. A special thank you wa jazaki Allahu kulla Khayr for sending this as anonymous even tho we can (already had) have this conversation on DMs (or at least a bit of it), I feel like the reason behind your anon is that you are trying to spread awareness, encourage sisters who have problems to seek help and share their stories, and to actually take the first step and in shaa Allah more sisters will follow and the chain of comfort, help and support will start forming .. 😍 so thank you thank you thank you habibty, your encouragement and support to me and to this page means the world to me ❤️

- A. Z. 🍃

[thedumpster-fire]

Tw- 18+ discourse. Trigger warning. Dont read if this makes you uncomfortable

ve been thinking about how too word this and im still not sure im doing it right, but i want to try, if I missed my point just let me know because im shit at explaining

I think it's important we discuss the whole "18+, minor dni issue"

-------------------------------------------------------

I really happy that im seeing a lot of people addressing the issue but also explaining why minors can't be reading 18+ content.

Because if you believe you are "mature" enough to read 18+ (you aren't dont kid yourself)then you should be mature enough to understand why you shouldn't and therefore stop. I genuinely respect the minors whom respect and follow the "minors dni".

I wish that someone had explained to me importance of "18+ only" when i was underage.

So story time... (Does this need a warning? Im not sure. But just be warned.)

I was still in elementary, about fifth grade when I got my first phone(a story for a different time) and I had access to the internet unhindered( yeah, im aware of how much of a problem that was.) Around that time, I was also really into the pjo books.

And then i discovered fanfiction, which was so exciting for a poor kid who couldn't afford any books but loved reading. It was late at night when i discovered my first 18+ fic. Nobody had really explained to me, the whole concept of sex much and all the issues that follow.

I still can't remember if it had any warnings, it probably did(I really hope it did, I still haven't managed to find it.) It was a lengthy fic with really mature themes such as non-con, cheating, unwanted pregnancy, violence etc. But these were certainly things i shouldn't have been reading. I forced myself too stop after 1 chapter. I didn't understand what i had read, it was so emotionally heavy and I didn't know what to do(this was happening in a very difficult and hard time in my life so that didn't help.). I never told my mother, I guess I even knew I had done something wrong.

It wasn't long before I just continued to read 18+ even when I shouldn't have.i really wish I could go back and pry the phone out of 11 year old me's hands. I had always been told "you are so mature for your age" or "wow, you have such a youthful face. Wait? You're actually young? Well, I wouldnt have believed it." These things gave me a sense of false entitlement , "that yes, I am mature enough too read this" when truthfully. I wasn't .Im aware on how this affected me , luckily I am now in a place to understand what was unhealthy v. Healthy.

I hope im not missing my point but reading 18+ content is exactly for 18+ .. And you need to respect that. Its is so illegal for you to ignore that and selfish. Because ignoring that can hurt someone who was just writing something they enjoy . its also to protect you. If your a minor and you see minor dni , I am begging for you to listen. Please don't be offended if you get blocked by certain users.

I feel like ive doing a crap job of explaining but i wanted to say something because I keep seeing wave after wave of this problem and its worrisome.

[republictrooper]

So I managed to get all 4 of my team members (I never recurited Lae’zel this playthrough, just because I never found her for some reason and she wasnt gonna be part of my main walking around team anyway) to want to bed my character this playthrough of BG3 EA, and man, It was nice to see all 4 of the scenes with my MC Cifgha. 

Some thoughts (with major spoilers, ofc):

-Gale’s romance scene is still bugged to show a Dwarf woman up to her shoulders in the ground for whatever reason, but otherwise I was pleasantly surprised at how well they accounted for short characters.

-In non-romance weirdness, I assassinated the leaders at the Temple, thus preventing the invasion from ever happening, but everyone in the Grove/Camp talked as if it had happened (and was successfully repelled) anyway. I wonder if that means the in-camp assassinations wont be possible in the full game, or they just need to reprogram some triggers so people dont talk as if the goblins did do that full-scale raid?

-No-one but Astarion seems to have had any actual changes to their romance scene, but I can live with that. It’s still early access, and Gale at least still has an Under Construction section on his thing. 

-Shadowheart was... unexpectedly cute? I don’t know yet where they’re going with her character (I’m kind of hoping you can choose to either lure her to the side of good or help her ascend as a Sharran, depending on your preferences/choices), but gosh, she’s so sweet if you can actually break through her standoffish outer layer. I’m just imagining sitting by that waterfall all night, just cuddling and talking. Then that cute, hesitant kiss in the morning. Gosh, I wonder how much of this falls apart when we get to Baldur’s Gate and her memory gets unlocked, but for now... it’s nice, and I almost want to keep going with her, try to find a way to get her to trust me, not just out of curiosity, but because it feels like she really needs someone on her side, and Cifgha would love to be that person, as a friend or a lover.

-Gale, height problem aside, was just as sweet and suave as ever. I think, oddly enough, I wasnt offended by his keeping Mystra’s romance from me. He told me enough about the thing in his chest that I could understand it was an issue and one I was already willing to help him with given I gave him some powerful artifacts to absorb, and like, given Mystra very obviously dumped him, I don’t think he was cheating on her with me and he didn’t necessarily owe me an up-front explanation about her. I can certainly see a future storyline where he DOES need to choose between Mystra and me, but hell, wouldn’t be the first time I’ve been dumped cuz my ex went back to an old flame. 

Regardless, I still love his nerdy romantic speeches and his love of knowledge and his beard, and he’s still a strong contender for my canon romance.

-It was nice to see Wyll on my character since I wasnt able to get him on my first playthrough and he was my first choice for romance before I played the game and still strongly in the running for canon romance. I’m a big fan of the suave dashing guys who want to save the entire damn world and he fulfills that for me in spades. And his romance scene is understatedly nice and lowkey, just letting you cuddle the poor guy and take his mind off Mizora for a moment. 

-Astarion... well, he was Astarion. I don’t like him as much as most of Tumblr, but I can see the allure, and the new parts we got for his romance scene was definitely hot as heck. I hope the finished Gale and/or a future Wyll Scene at least have some of that. 

Anyway, Still enjoying EAing, wondering if my “Explode all the goblins with Powder barrels I stole from that shady halfing merchant with a few strategic uses of Misty Step” strat will work in the full game. We’ll see what future updates bring! Here’s hoping Gale’s romance gets an update/fix next!

[noras-wafflehouse]

Theres a little headcanon of mine and it could trigger some people out there so i will Tag it . And also put a fat TRIGGER WARNING MAYBE right here . Also it's including SPOILERS FOR THE CHAPTER 290 OF MHA .

I had this thought for a while now . A little storry about myself in forward as i can Talk about it atm . I got Bpd diagnosed just about a year Ago and now my therapist getting to undo all the layers it brings with it . Bipolar just .. (the hardest mood swings ever . You just .. if you dont experience it .. you will not know how this feels . And even if you have it you cant tell if its a good Phase a manic Phase ore if you're just... you just dont realy know like .. i dont realy know . Probably there are a lot of people Who know ! . And tha'ts great !keep it up !) , eating dissorders , being suicidal, self harm , paranoid episodes , dissociation , psychotic episodes , etc ...

I just realy feel like Dabi / Touya got BPD . I know there are a lot of mental illnesses that are similair to bpd and it of course needs to be diagnosed ( so it's actually nothing else . So it's realy bpd . Ore realy something else so i wont say if you have Symptomes of bpd you have it . It can be something else . I hope i dont offend anyone if i do, call me out as im a confused mess . )

But that probably will not happen in bnha . And it's just a headcanon . I realy can imagining him haveing this mental illness as of a result of his Traumata as a child . The abuse , and just ... my god . He probably got Big PTSD as well .

So .. why do i Think he might have bpd ? He got that ... Impulsive behaviour . When something fucks him up . Ore excites him as we see.. he is going all over the place Being verry dramatic, and verry self harming .

He feels empty . ( he certanly is'nt dont hate me ) Like when i look at him , i See a man whos either holding his emotions back so well . Ore he just 'dances' between , OVERWHELMING and Feeling EMPTY .

I Think he got paranoid episodes , and also psychotic episodes . (But that also can just be me projecting ) i can't tell when im in a episode so i can't tell you the effects actually , as i dont wanna read into it couse my hyper functioning brain will make Symptome up . And i would not like that to happen . So it would be cool if you just Google it :3 read a little about it if you're interesting . (But hes deffently paranoid )

He is suicidal . And he dosnt give a shit about his life . ( you can shittalk me for that its fine . )

I also feel like hes takeing a lot of meds ( substance abuse ) because of his scarrs . They must hurt like hell more .. we never See hin takeing any drugs ore that couse its a CHILDREN MANGA ( i feel like its not though .. like i wouldnt let this watch my 6 year old child . Ore 12 year old . For Sure not) but how would he cope with the pain ? Okay .. so i cant say anymore as my head goes blank .

Dont understand me wrong , i love dabi . I love MHA . (I just dont Think it's for children ) i didnt mean to offend anyone with this , you can send me youre complains. this is fine .

I read from a lot of people that write stuff like that getting a lot of death threats ore hate speeches . Blast me full with it but you cant do that to everyone here , like you dont know when someone is realy takeing that to heart . And some people are haveing just THE BLOG . So they of course dont want to delete it, but as im just a shitpost Blog i can so .. have fun !

And everyone have a nice day/ night !

[sugarlove12]

Hellooooo it’s meeeeee, to no one’s surprise I still haven’t recovered from given and I don’t think I ever will u can ask @queenoftheknight that literally my heart hasn’t moved on.

So like I said in previous posts I wanted to talk about it so muchhh but the words never came since I consider myself to be someone that expresses better in person than text, but I’ll try so prepare cause this shit is gonna be long.

1. THE FUCKING OPENING OMG

I’m a very critical person when it comes to openings and for some kind of reason I was like ok let’s listen to it and haha when I was reading the lyrics my heart went 💔 cause everything is so accurate to the storyline, everything fits perfectly. If u haven’t heard the complete song pls do so, it holds so much feelings. I’m gonna share with u guys some of my favorites quotes

All the things u left behind, became my everything-> WITH THIS ONE I DIED OK I WAS LIKE OH OK BAI.

Rainy, sunny, cloudy, spring, summer, fall and winter, 365 days, u remain in all of them-> THIS ONE ASDGFHJ IS THE PART WHERE YŪKI’S GHOST HUGS MAFUYU AND THEN HE HUGS TIGHTER THE GUITAR, look I can’t emphasized how much that scene hurts me.

Even if I meet u in my dreams, it’s meaningless cause u are not here-> bruh I imagine Mafuyu saying this and X_X (this is from the extended ver).

I still hear it, it's still so real, ur heartbeat, it becomes a part of me, u become me, I become u-> I think I don’t need to say any words.

2. UGETSU’S AND AKIHIKO’S RELATIONSHIP

THIS PART MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS TO THOSE WHO HAVENT READ THE MANGA

I’m a die hard fan of Haruki and Akihiko, but when I saw that scene where Ugetsu turns back to scream at Akihiko to not go and stay with him, while crying, THAT HURT SO MUCH OMG. Idk why but I could feel his pain like, he was so used to them fighting, breaking up and then getting back together, but this time was for real, that was a definite goodbye. Don’t get me wrong they were toxic as hell and even physical violence was involved cause he punched Akihiko more than once (I think, if my memory is working), but yeah I feel bad for Uge :(

3. Yūki omg this guy

I don’t know where to begin with this guy, I don’t want Natsuki sensei to draw much about him cause he’s my ship wrecker ok. Like I’m a sucker for the bad boy style and everything and he was so caring towards Mafuyu BUT YEAH THE POINT IS I DONT WANNA SEE HIM CAUSE I DONT WANNA LOVE HIM MORE AND FEEL KIND OF GUILTY FOR SHIPPING RITSUKA AND MAFUYU.

But there’s something that tickles me, like imagine a 15 year old killing himself just cause he had a huge fight with his bf, and this is a very sensitive topic but I remember when Hiiragi was talking about him, he said Yūki was a moody person so I thought what if he suffered from depression or he wasn’t emotionally stable like that would destroy the whole fandom. So yeah Yūki bby reast in peace we love u❤️

I don’t wanna offend anyone, this comes from someone who struggles with depression, so yeah kisses💕

4. Ep 9

Do I really need to explain how much damage it made to my heart, for starters I’m not emotionally stable and this episode broke the shit out of me.

All I wanna say is that I lost it when Mafuyu starts to talk to Yuki (u know what I mean) and starts reminiscing the past and ASDFGHJKL , the part when he screams AHHHH woahhhh My emotions left my body, if this platform were more safe I would show u guys pics of me that day AND THE VN I SENT MY FRIENDS OH GOD IT WAS ME SOBBING.

5. Mafuyu’s and Ritsuka’s relationship

I loveeeeee them soooo muchhhh, but there are maaaany things I wanna say and I want to see if I’m the only one who thinks like this.

There are a lot of people who say that Ritsuka is a replacement for Yūki but I don’t see that, on the contrary I think Ritsuka is the one who’s helping Mafuyu to heal, to be able to express himself, to allow himself feel whatever he wants to feel.

Now I’m not gonna lie if deep down I thought so in very specific moments. For example on the infamous ep 9 when Mafuyu is talking to Yūki while he’s singing, he says: I see u everywhere and the scene is Ritsuka turning his back and then Mafuyu sees Yūki, and at that moment I was TRIGGERED also in a manga ch Mafuyu sleeps over at Ritsuka’s and feels like crying cause Ritsuka had the same clock as Yūki, LIKE WHAT ARE THE ODDS, but yeah I don’t think he’s a replacement ok, those were just moments of doubt :)

Well I would’ve loved if the author had put more time between Yūki’s death and the beginning of the story cause idk the exact time but it was less than a year, and within months I think is SO HARD to get over ur ex who just committed suicide because of something U SAID, which also happens to be ur first love, childhood friend, someone who stood by u in so many aspects of ur life (his dad getting arrested) AND OH LET’S NOT FORGET THAT U REALIZED THAT WHAT U SAID WAS WRONG SO U CAME TO APOLOGIZE BUT OHOH TOO LATE BRO, so yeah to be able fall in love in couple of months and get over all that trauma seems a little unrealistic but I won’t fight it cause I love them lots.

Ritsuka is literally the only person that can be with Mafuyu specially in this time and circumstances, cause like I said, simultaneously as Mafuyu is developing a relationship with him,he’s also trying to 1. Move forward and get over Yūki 2. Forgive himself and Yūki, which if u ask me doing those 2 things while being in a relationship, the other person has to be very patient and we can see that with Ritsuka so that’s why I think that he’s gonna be Mafuyu’s second and last love ❤️.

Special mention to the quote on the title: can’t say goodbye, I’m still drifting with your echoes.

I hope I can see our baby Mafuyu always like this cause my god this smol boi deserves pure and entire happiness after all the shit he’s been thru

I think I got a LOT out of my chest and if u’ve made it till here thank u so much, I love u and appreciate it to the bottom of my very very small fujoshi otaku heart

[tinyboxxtink]

Nah my dude i dont read your stuff im just here because friends are getting triggered by your stuff and as someone that was assaulted, im begging you to really think about your content

What friends? Why are your friends not here telling me this? God that annoys the shit out of me, people thinking they need to speak on other people's behalf. Take the SJW bullshit elsewhere please.

If your friends were actually truly offended or triggered, please let them know that they can come to me, and we can talk it out. There is zero need for a third party intervening.

And I appreciate the worry, but if you dont read my work don't assume what I do or don't do.