#i dont remember the last time we talked
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adambomb82 · 7 months ago
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It's that time again
#hello friend#i dont remember the last time we talked#or rather you listened#i find myself in an odd situation#i keep having reoccuringdreams that feel like all the progress ive made has been for nothing#visions of past memories and also a future in which things stayed the same#things happening that could have happened but also would not happen#interactions with people long since past all in an effort to find some closure#i fear that this will forever mark me somehow and i will not be able to escape this#have i trapped myself? are the circumstances in my control?#to some extent i blieve they are but its so hard to force my mind one direction when it clearly has its own plans#i miss my friends so dearly#i miss what could have been#im currently on vacation and while i am having fun i cant help but feel half of a whole#i feel like i would enjoy this so much more if it were with a companion or someone i loved dearly#because promises were made long ago that never came to fruition#and now i am experiencing those things alone and feel as though ive robbed myself and her of these experiences#i find myself thinking about you once again and wondering when our paths will cross again#or if i even want that to happen#if i left for good would you turn and look?#time will tell#so many words and thoughts and not enough time to tell them all in a way thats coherent#a stream of consciousness that will find its path#i miss you#i miss all of you#i hope one day i can be at ease#everything will be okay because it has to be#this too shall pass
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cthulhum · 7 months ago
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does anyone realize how crazy it is to have the actor of a mostly headcanoned queer ship say the fans were never crazy and they were right all along after 10+ years of everyone just absolutely going nuts over the said queerbaited ship
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clouvu · 8 months ago
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Save me french yuri... Save me
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girlwiththegreenhat · 3 months ago
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hey when they wrote "knight behind bars" and they wrote kitt helping a couple get together and they gave him the line "Some day, it will be my turn" [to find love]. did they know what they were doing. did they know that in some 40 years some gay autistic robot-obsessed little freak on tumblr would not stop thinking about it for weeks and write literal dozens of paragraphs screaming about it on discord. did they know they were going to ruin Me, Specifically, with this concept that feels like the culmination of everything kitt has gone through through the show and such a fascinating thing to think about in regards to michael and kitt's relationship,
one of the themes of knight rider is kitt developing as a Person, developing a line between the Knight Industries Two-Thousand, and Kitt. discovering humanity, his own emotions, the joys of the seemingly and logically pointless, and often through the lens of his own driver, his partner, his friend, Michael - his primary guide through all these experiences, his reference for those human things he doesn't understand. and as much as he initially claims to not be capable of experiencing emotions, of understanding feelings, he learns to. he experiences a wide range of emotions through the show even while claiming he doesn't, he even learns fear and insecurity. perhaps it's only natural a robot would learn to love, or at the very least be terribly curious about it and wonder if such a thing could ever exist for Him
the majority of people are not exactly kind to kitt. they talk about him like he's not there, they talk about him like he's a machine, a novelty, some people are even scared of or disturbed by him when all he's trying to do is make polite conversation and company. he's always Othered - there's no other cars like him (at least not anymore), but there's no other person like him either, he doesn't truly belong among humans or vehicles. some of the technicians at FLAG don't even seem to fully respect him as a person, at least they don't based on my vague recollection of how they talk about him in Junkyard Dog. when Michael asks him after KARR is destroyed if it feels good to be one of a kind again, he doesn't say yes or no - he only says it's a "familiar feeling." it may be familiar, but it's surely also isolating, and i think that's something he'd realize as he slowly picks up this curiosity about love. where could he even find it when so few people see him as an equal person to begin with?
and then there's michael. oh my god, and then there's michael. no matter what flavor you choose to read it in, the whole show is about their relationship, they're a duo, a set Not to be separated, they're Partners. they work together, they worry about and look after each other (forever insane about when kitt was a melted shell, Michael stuck around the garage for hours, waiting for any news like a worried spouse, constantly checking on him every opportunity he got... encouraging him to recover, and even helping paint back on his protective coating... kitt always looks after michael, but for once, it's michael's turn to look after Him), in a way they were Made for each other - Kitt more literally, being programmed for Michael and holding his namesake, but Michael was also made in a sense for the pilot program, hand picked and given a second life to work for the foundation and with this strange supercar. and even if they had a rocky start, michael comes to view kitt as a person - car, TV set, or computer core, Kitt is his partner, his buddy. he helps him find himself, guides him and teaches him about these things that make us human, and in a way, kitt becomes human - but his entire experience is still through the perspective of an AI in a car, it's still very unique and isolating, and I think he sort of grows into his own limitations, he's finally brushing against the walls that define him.
he learns of love, and then he learns to dream Of love. these things he sees in the movies, that michael tells him about, that he so often sees michael Partaking in that he gets so oddly jealous of, doesn't it all seem so wonderful? he's very curious. but who could ever love steel and circuitry, who could ever see him as an equal let alone a partner in a romantic sense? who would ever love a car and all the limitations That comes with? it's a problem for a hypothetical hopeful Some Day, in the meantime stuck between two worlds where he doesn't perfectly belong to either, where no car Can love him and no human seemingly Would love him...
and michael loves him anyway. before either of them really realize or talk about it, in spite of everything, in any form, regardless of the fact it wouldn't be a typical relationship by absolutely any means, michael loves him anyway. kitt is as much a person to him as bonnie or devon or RC, and that person is someone he loves and cares for deeply. the feeling is mutual, kitt's world revolves around michael, he's one of the most important people in kitt's life, and he'd do anything to protect him.
and it is michael that will finally teach him to love, and what it means to feel loved in turn, to be loved as the person he undoubtedly is.
#liz blogs#kr#knight rider#michael knight#kitt#robots#gay#this isnt writing. its rambling. its very insane rambling.#WHAT is the ship tag. i dont even know. fuck it we ball#michael x kitt#sure#knight rider spoilers#i saw someone make up a really good one but i cant remember what it was-- oh my god was it MK2000. was it. was that iT-#mk2000#retroactively gonna go tag all the fruity posts with that i dont care#do not even get me started on michael learning to love for the first time in This lifetime. ... literally dont get me started i havent seen#the last stevie episode yet. thats next weeks crying fit. but i feel like that's a piece i need#but stevie was michael Long's girl. part of His life. michael Knight can't go back to that. and maybe he Shouldn't#listen. its about michael teaching kitt to love. and kitt Letting him learn to love Again. something real besides his weekend flings#i need a lobotomyyyyyyy i need an ice pick to the brain i need to stop being completely fucking insane about robots#IF BEING INSANE ABOUT FICTIONAL ROBOTS WAS A JOB I WOULD BE A MILLIONAIRE#anyway michael is bisexual and a dashboard smoocher thanks for coming to my ted talk#homosexuality is rampant in the military jerry. thats a bisexual if ever i saw one. have you seen the way he dresses. he calls his car baby#if you dont watch knight rider and you read this i'm sorry i must look deranged#this ship is queer flavored even besides the fact its two guys. there's like four levels of queer flavoring in this bitch
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todayisafridaynight · 3 months ago
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theres something really funny about how the other day i was talkin bout majima fans complaining and then like three days ago yokoyama says something and now theyre complaining again
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faaun · 7 months ago
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procrastination is starting to have its consequences finally
#on my friends living room floor they love together but one of them has been london for weeks or maybe months#to be with her love. im on a foam mattress from one of their beds next to a glass bottle of water opened by one of them#in a mug given to me by another. the weather felt like my childhood today and it also felt like 2 years ago.#(put space in the heavens Einstein's idea and hes your friend too so nothing to fear) around the table they drank and laughed and i thought#i hope you keep growing so full with the love you receive . i hope your appetite becomes insatiable from how used to it you are#and i know youre all leaving soon but i hope one day you miss this and that youll be happy you miss it#its worth missing i think#i thought he didnt care but he said after exams hes going walk around this area over and over#(this is near where he lived and where we visited almost daily for a year)#(hed come across the bridge on a lake)#we went where she used to live and at the entrance a fox sat calmly. it just yawned and stared.#it felt important somehow. i think maybe their impressions of me will never be close to how i feel inside but i think#i love them enough for that not to matter. i dont think theyll ever know this. i dont think if they did it would change much.#and seeing them smile makes my heart glow anyway. today i tried their malaysian tea the ginger burned my throat#they warmed my heart. hes going to canada soon and hes going to the US soon and shes going everywhere soon ill never understand#how were supposed to live with memories and with seperation and with the past but we do it anyway so i think it doesnt matter much#i wanted to write a poem for the lab rats with the fibre optic wires lit with blue forcing them to turn around and around#something about how im sorry that the two photon arrays burned the inside of your brain. im sorry about the sharp points of multielectrode#arrayes. im sorry about everything we do to you. she asked to see me tomorrow. im trying to have self control but i miss her so awfully#last night my friend talked to me and i updated on everything that happened with love and the lack of it and she just started laughing#and she told me about the same thing from her side. and she told me about how she loved london because she would walk the streets#and she felt like the people were her. and her eyes would go over the people and the bag of bagels and the construction men they probably#have a kid at home maybe shes a daughter. this kid is crying for her mother and the building you just walked past caused#blisters and pain and people died in it and very likely people were born in it. we talked for hours and i felt like#i was holding her hand just like that time she held mine watching a horror film. i love her so much#my friend is a genius and i remember her picking up the charms of my phone and staring at the leaf hanging from them. shes side stepping to#music drinking dangerous cider and cocktails from a movie and chit chatting with billionaires and undergrads#i love her dearly. his head covered in electrodes. she tells me about a syrian guy shes in love with and she says#what you feel and what i feel is like cocaine. ive tried a lot of fucking cocaine.#she says ive reminded her of what living actually feels like and to never put energy into someone who doesnt see me this way.
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froschli96 · 2 months ago
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you know, i always find it really funny when dudebros complain about syndicate and odyssey being too "jokey" or not "taking its characters seriously" or whatever…
like, did y'all collectively sleep through "it's-a me, mario!", "i meant besides vaginas", ezio inventing the latte, bartolomeo's... just... *gestures vaguely* entire character, etc?
like, it's fine to have preferences of course, i myself prefer a more serious and grounded tone, but these are usually the same people who tout the ezio trilogy as "peak assassin's creed", call ac1 a glorified tech demo and hate on connor for being "too serious and boring", like? make it make sense!
#asscreed#ac syndicate#ac odyssey#dont get me wrong#i do have problems with syndicate and even more so with odyssey#but it's not the tone lol#honestly i think kassandra is the protagonist that's the most similar to ezio if you really think about it#but bc she's a woman she's suddenly 'overpowered' and 'unrealistic'#yall don't remember the insane things that ezio survives in revelations do you#speaking of which#been replaying the ezio games lately#and i have something to confess...... i really don't think ac2 is good#ac brotherhood was a BIG improvement#in terms of story pacing for one (none of those insane unmotivated time jumps... well aside from the strange montage at the end)#and the characters are a lot more fleshed out (probably bc there aren't like 20 of them)#and the handling of female characters is MUCH less egregious#maybe bc there's only really claudia and caterina left LOL#lucrezia is a little annoying i guess... but she gets a pass bc she's cesare's sister and really they're the same kind of crazy lol#and hey we actually get to see how dangerous sex work can be and how it's not just a way for sexy nuns to give inner peace to men#even cristina gets fleshed out!#and i like that we get so see ezio being a little bit of a selfish prick in her missions#and making bad decisions in interpersonal relationships#at least i THINK that's what we're supposed to take away from it... but who knows maybe it's just supposed to be a tragic love story...#i hope not.... i hope the player IS supposed to think that ezio's treatment of her is bad. otherwise.... :/#sorry for rambling#guess im just kinda surprised by how much i enjoyed brotherhood#it had been a long time since i last played it#also the modern day is really good!#that you can talk so much to everyone and also being able to read their emails and the mundane banter... idk i just think its neat :)
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rexscanonwife · 7 months ago
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Good afternoon everypony!! Last night my partner and I got a little silly and rewatched the episode of PPG where Utonium and Ms. Keane start dating and ugghh....why he so FUCKING cute 😭😭💖💖
And tbhhh the reason they sorta didn't work out is cause they weren't able to balance the lives they had with their infatuation with each other (tbh if the cat argument hadn't happened when it did any ol thing would have caused them to break up methinks) and y'know...I think that's why he'd work so well with my s/i 🥺👉👈
Theyre allowed to still be their own people and have their own things even if they do become a couple! Even if they get married! They're still individuals who support their own passions as well as each other's. And they certainly don't need/want to change themselves for each other 💖💖💖
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alchemiclee · 3 months ago
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i know this has been said 473773474833 times by the kavetham/haikaveh shippers and probably even nonshippers, but i'll say it again. I finally finished the genshin summer event and did the little after quest in sumeru and.....every time kaveh is sneaking around trying not to be noticed coming out of alhaithams house it's just such a gay vibe. he's basically screaming "I can't be caught being gay in a homophobic society!" even if that's not what the game writers are *actually* saying. that's just how it comes off and they can't make it come off any other way. with hoyo's gay history, it makes me wonder if it's on purpose and all a cover-up to have a technically different reason for it so they can get away with it lmao but we will never know.
#lee text#genshins#i can acknowledge how gay they are without liking thr ship#flashback to several kavetham/haikaveh (whatevwr their ship name is) shippers on here attacking me over not liking the ship#trying to “educate” me on why theyre sk gay and why i should ship it#look i didnt say they arent gay af. and these shippers dismissed my feelings completely#i think it was after that one event with the competition thing that kaveh won? idk but just they way they interacted#the way alhaitham talked to kaveh and the way kaveh responded TRIGGERED A TRAUMA RESPONSE IN ME#which made me dislike the ship and their dynamic! i didnt CARE if he was well meaning. the way he talked to kaveh#triggered a fight or flight response in me because it sounded similar to how ive been talked to and kaveh getting upset was similar to#how ive reacted to the same words. you can also argue my family cares about me like alhaitham does kaveh and its how he helps#but it doesnt mean its the kind of help we need and it doenst traumatize us lmao#so i dont get why people were so angry at me for getting triggered by this ship and disliking it for that reason#while i can still admit that they are gay af and seem to get a long a bit better after that and i can tolerate them now#since its been a while and i dont remember it enough to have a trauma response when seeing them anymore lmao#but its just annoying that shippers can be so toxic 💀 they care more about their fictional men ship than me. a real person. weird#not tagging the ship so i dont get more angry shippers in my notes....but they found me last time with no tags so hi. dont yell at me again!#but maybe no one will care since im putting my “anti ship propaganda” in the tags this time and not the main post lmao#just dont read my tags so you dont get mad at me for being uncomfortable by this ship dynamic. but if youre reading this...its too late#leave me alone they arent real and i am so im more important right 😅#let me shame the shippers that dismissed my real feelings because they think their ship is more important than a real person lmao#you cant tell me im wrong when a trauma response isnt a choice and happens against your will 💀#BE ASHAMED YOU NERDS#I WILL BITE YOUR KNEECAPS#sorry i just had to vent lmao
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pawbeanies · 4 months ago
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every so often i think abt the first time i smoked A Weed (hotboxed in my friends car and them hung out w them and their boyfriend) and in the moment i was Mega Nervous about third wheeling but when i relayed my Experience to my friends they were all like "chuu .......... i dont think you were third wheeling.... i think they were inviting u to join them ............" like how was I supposed to figure that out from them inviting me to snuggle with them on the couch and both of them running their hands through my hair and going on about how soft it was and telling me it was ok for me to come closer and that i could "take what i needed" and
on the otjer hand it was also the first time i ever had italian beef sandwiches so like i think it was a rlly formative experience for me. the moral of the story here is italian beef sandwiches are good
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fadeintoyou1993 · 4 months ago
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having to explain to people things like. if i have to go out to do something and run errands i need to have it all mapped out and planned w like. at least a week in advance. and if i go out that day i cannot do anything else because That will be it. if i have multiple commitments that cannot be put on the same day i need one full day in between those commitments so i can rest and be recharged for that next thing otherwise i might have a breakdown in the middle of the street (again) and then That will render me unable to function for like a whole three days. and then people look at me like i choose to live like this?
#txt#audhd tag#just venting a little#its crazy because ppl around me are like I understand your limitations However why dont you-#So you dont understand my limitations?#like okay yeah i understand that it must be Weird for people that are not Inside my brain and hard to understand that i PHYSICALLY CANNOT>#do things that they dont even think about. alright! but to sit and tell me Yeah we get it! but then try to either fix it or >#> come up w a New Incredible Way To Fix Me as if half of what i talk abt w my therapist isnt Exactly This#like yeah i dont fucking like it either. i wish i could do shit like other ppl do. i wish i could remember things.#i wish i didnt feel exhausted all the time i wish simply leaving my bed wasnt the most difficult task every single morning#but it pisses me OFF when people try to talk me through these Limitations i have that They Understand<3 like. can you be accommodating or no#one of my closest friends and oldest friends since i was like 5 had her bday on friday and she ljterally messaged me like#Hi we r having something w my family but theyre rly loud and extremist on the right wing side and i barely wanna be here u dont have 2 come>#> but i wanted to invite u anyway so u dont think ur being left out! and i was like Yayy nice thank u bc lbr i probably wouldnt go anyway.#and she KNOWS that. and she literally was talking to me like she alwahs does and That felt accommodating and understanding and i felt loved#cut to my mom last night trying to make me feel guilty for not going because Shes my friend and i should have gone anyway.#i told her off and she backtracked but thats still innmy head like. that shit is so irritating#okay sorry vent over im just aboht to get my period so this is making me sick#want to yell into the void and forget about it. Hits post
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anotherpapercut · 1 year ago
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I know several people who like LOVE seasons 5-7 (11th doctors run) and think the storylines and moffats writing are brilliant and I don't get it!!! what am I missing??? why does literally every single episode have the exact same stakes: Rory/Amy/the doctor is dead. forever. so dead. but wait!!! what if they aren't!!! why do so many of the explanations for why they're not actually dead feel so rushed like they were added at the last minute!! why does every single queer character act kind of weird and awkward about being queer!! why does the doctor casually say that women are inferior when no one's around!!! what the fuck!! hello!!!
#why is rory continuously proving himself as the Only Man To Ever Exist only for the characters/narrative to continuously imply hes lesser#amy tries to kiss the doctor?? at her wedding??????#when amy is stuck for 36 years why is she like i forgot how much rory loved me?? GIRL HE WAITED 1000 YEARS FOR YOU???? WHAT????#he is CONSTANTLY the butt of the joke despite being unequivocally without a doubt the best character from this era#what the fuck was up with river being their kid#THE 50TH ANNIVERSARY???? WHAT?? THAT SHIT WAS WEIRD RIGHT???#does anyone else find it annoying that moffat changed the opening theme and the tardis and the sonic and the doctor ALLLL at once#and then retconned the entire storyline the early seasons are based off of??#WHY IS THE DOCTOR SO GODDAMN ANNOYING?? LIKE SO MUCH MORE ANNOYING THAN THE OTHERS#and fucking sexist!!! so sexist!!!#anyone remember the characters who were like 'were the short fat and tall skinny gay men why do we need names' LIKE HUH???????#gay people still have names steven 😭#i feel like im going insane bc i have no one else to talk to abt it until my partner catches up#but you guys still think these seasons kinda suck right? like coming off of martha and DONNA and her AMAZING storyline#these just kinda pale in comparison right??????#the last centurion is probably the last really good plot of that era imo. none of the other plots come close to having an ending that cool#like rivers story couldve been amazing and then it was just uh. kinda weird. a bit confusing IDK#i dont want to be a dick when talking to people and like shit on smth they love but i genuinely have a hard time#finding kind things to say abt a lot of this era#also and this might just be me but i do not like amy and clara v much 😭 theyre so fuckin mean and not even funny#why were martha donna and rose sooooo well written and they all have rich backstories. we know their fuckin families!!#literally its never even fully explained what the fuck happened to amys parents 😩😩 they just move on. the only friend of theirs#ever shown is fucking river??? as a kid??#am i the only one who found all thay confusing
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theyarebothgunshot · 6 months ago
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#so a little over a year ago i kissed a guy who i have known for nearly 20 years. on the lips#well he kissed me to be fair#after a whole night of dancing together and i will admit yes i flirted with him a LOT but. the thing is we have a weird kind of situation#because we aren't really friends but we share a best friend#and when our best friend was depressed we texted each other to try and think of ways to get her out of her funk#and when he need tips on what to get our mutual best friend he texts me too#and when we see each other at parties. well. the times we have ended up alone have always been charged lets just say that#and he REMEMBERED one of those moments and told me so last year and i was floored so i decided to go with it and flirt with him fhdshf#anyways. long story short he literally picked me up and pushed me against a wall and kissed me. and then. we shared a cab and hugged#good night and never talked about it again#i saw him a few months ago for the first time since That Night and we. did not talk about it! gfdhgd i am glad but also it's a bit weird id#and now he and our best friend are on holiday together and they are both messaging me and he just. texted me a kissy face.#and now i want to kill him (affectionately).#oh and he has a serious girlfriend so :) hgfhdhh i make such good life decisions don't i#i never told our best friend about the kiss btw. because she would kill both of us for sure#okay rant over anyways i dont think i will ever be normal about this guy. story of my life
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hackfurs · 6 months ago
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i feel bad about all the people who don't message me anymore because i was in my turbo flop era back then and they caught the ick
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variousqueerthings · 11 months ago
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actually you know whose reaction I'd be really curious about, potentially coming across fourteen in the shops? Francine!
#francine jones#martha jones#the doctor#dw#doctor who#the (second?) last time they saw each other she nodded to him#and i tend to interpret that as a mix of 'thank you for talking me down' 'hey we survived hell together' and 'thank goodness#martha is coming back to us and you and i both know it's the right thing even though i know you're a fucking mess too but also pls go'#not in the sense that martha was trapped with ten but that ten maybe Could have convinced her to stay potentially#or even just that francine was afraid that ten might do so/martha could possibly choose ten over them#also just that in some ways the jones fam saw the doctor and the master being An Terrifying Other Species moreso than most#there's that relief when martha comes back like they weren't sure she'd be walking back inside#so they dont end it on Bad terms technically#but also potentially... sees fourteen and it's a trigger? sees fourteen and is afraid for martha?#sees fourteen and assumes the end of the world is coming back? sees fourteen and is just... oh... hoped id never see you again#sees fourteen and it's an awkward british 'how have things been? good. you? yeah good. got a garden now. oh that's nice'#(was francine there when martha was on that joint call -- she was wasnt she?#i cannot remember if there's any Looks between them there that indicate how she feels about ten at that point)#anyway i think francine should've been in martha's final scene i think francine was the most important part of martha's life#that symbolised the ways that ten had affected that life#and seeing how francine potentially felt after end of time would have been such a strong indicator of how that story ended there#the tenth doctor#the fourteenth doctor#doctor who spoilers#dw spoilers
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skitskatdacat63 · 2 months ago
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It's so crazy keeping up with the world(news) these days, the amount of things that have happened in such a short period of time lately. As I drove to school this morning, they discussed the possibility of Iran firing missiles at Israel. As soon as I get in my car to drive home, Iran literally retaliated as soon as I turned the radio on. It's all moving so fast
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