#i dont really wear much makeup anymore but

[ghwosty]

I get to be in the beauty department today (and for this whole week to cover the usual lady), and for once im actually excited to be at work lol

[flower-zombie-rob]

Welcome to day one of how many times can my mother tear me down and destroy my confidence in one go. How many days will this go on? Im not sure! Tune in next time for a brand new episode of Taking Advantage Of My Kids Rejection Sensitivity, youre watching the disney channel.

[thursdayg1rl]

mitski was so right in saying if i gave up on being pretty i wouldnt know how to be alive

[roturo]

HERE ME OUT

Toji, Gojo, Megumi (choose one, i dont mind) realize spanking isnt doing much for a punishment anymore (youre enjoying it too much) so they come up with other ideas

ex. watching you get fucked by a fuck machine in a mirror while u cum over n over begging for the real thing, seeing how many sex toys you can get away with wearing in public, switching between making you cum over n over to not letting you cum every hour or something ALL NIGHT, etc

BRAT - JJK MEN

warnings: smut, overstimulation, semi-public sex, edging, ice cube play, cunnilingus, slapping, pussy slapping, degradation, spanking, oral (f & m receiving), fingering, multiple orgasms, dumbification, sub-space, dom/sub dynamics, humiliation, bondage, bdsm, handcuffing, use of vibrator, throat bump, tummy bump (idk how it's called), bratty reader, objectification, jealousy, mirror sex, breeding, unprotected sex, penis in vagina, there's more warnings but idk.

Gojo Satoru, Geto Suguru, Toji Fushiguro, Megumi Fushiguro & Sukuna.

Gojo Satoru

He first realized spanking you as a punishment isn’t working when your bratty remarks started becoming more usual after 3 or 4 spanks, you moaned at the feeling and teased him even more for him to do it again. 

To say he’s angry at this is an understatement, because he hates brats. Hates not having control, and your behavior being the last drop of breaking was all he needed to give you a real punishment.

You thought he was being mean? Oh no, he was being nice right now.

You pull on his white locks and the only answer you receive is a disapproval grunt from him. You sob, so overwhelmed and tired, but you can't deny how good his tongue feels on your naked core.

The feeling of his tongue abusing your overstimulated hole had you feeling dizzy, but the vibratory he had on his hand teasing your swollen nub made the pleasure more unbearable than before. 

He already got two orgasms out of you, one with his fingers patting gently your sweet spot and the other by sucking avidly on your clit while he fingered you and used the vibratory to tease your other hole. You don't remember which one came first and maybe they both happened at the same time. You don't really know.

And the worst thing of all? You were in a public space. 

You never noticed he brought a vibrator, it's like he knew you were looking for this, for a punishment, but he also knows you don’t see spanking as a punishment anymore, so he had a change of plans.

You were a little bit too flirty with Nanami tonight, he couldn’t take it, so when he saw you going to the restroom he didn’t care it seemed so obvious, he followed you behind.

Your pleas for him to stop went to deaf ears, not taking care in the world and not having any hint of stopping this.

You already had your makeup messed up, you’re sure about that, tears coming out your eyes, smudged lipstick, messy hair, he made sure for everyone to know he fucked the soul out of you. Making visible hickeys on your neck, he wanted to humiliate you.

And if like that wasn’t enough, once he finished he left the vibratory inside of you, so when the both of you walked out, not only everyone knew you two fucked at the restroom, but they’ll know you’re struggling to even talk or walk.

“Ah-ah, you acted like a bitch, i’ll treat you like one.”

Geto Suguru

This man is RUTHLESS. He would tie up your arms and legs on the bed so you can’t move. Using an ice cube toy tease your body, saying is “what you deserve for being too fucking horny all the time” 

The vibrator inside of you wouldn’t stop at any moment, making you come with no break, his tongue playing with your nipples, licking your tummy while going down on you till he found your clit. Grabbing another ice cube and tracing near your cunt.

He would spit on you or slap your pussy every time you told him to stop, making you even a messier moaning mess. His words would be hard too, not accepting any type of bratty behavior coming out of you, it’s what you earned.

He was angry, he couldn’t contain watching you dance with another man, knowing he was right there. You aren’t anything serious, yet, but he makes sure for everyone to know you’re his.

You felt dizzy, coming into subspace once he finished giving you your last orgasm of the night. Needing some time more to adapt to your surroundings. He made sure to cum in your stomach once he felt he couldn’t contain it anymore, and that’s when he knew he had to stop.

Because this man has self-control, he wanted to prove a point and he made sure of doing it. Treating you like a slut. Fucking you like a slut.  You’re no one’s slut but his.

Toji Fushiguro

He’s the opposite of Geto, he’ll make sure to have all the pleasure for himself and just him.

You were about to cum? too bad, because he’s the one coming, not you. He would even edge himself just to make sure you don’t come. Using you like a fucking toy in front of his mirror, pinching your nipples and biting your shoulders.

Your pussy would be so full of him you could even feel a small bump in your tummy, filling you up with his cum, the slickness of it making it easier for him to thrust into you.

Every time he touched your g-spot with his cock, you were almost screaming, begging for release. Every time you close your eyes he would grab you by the chin, threaten to not let you cum for 30 minutes more if you close them again.

Wetting his fingers with your liquids and mostly his cum just to insert them in your mouth. “You want to feel that too, huh? You want to taste yourself too?”

Nodding your head like you could, trying to say yes but every time you opened up your mouth a moan came out of it, just being able to call his name and little ‘please’

But he just laughed at how fucked up you look right now, continuing thrusting into you, one of his arms wrapping around your waist while the other one grabs you by your throat, making sure you’re looking at the two of you in the mirror.

Depending on how good you behave, he’ll decide if he’ll let you cum or not. You might spend the whole night without coming until the next time both of you have sex, thrusting you to make this punishment again if you cum without him.

Megumi Fushiguro (My man, my husband, my boyfriend)

He wouldn’t show he was angry at you, noticing you were enjoying the slaps on your ass, he just suddenly stopped. Analyzing what he should do.

Your smirk disappeared once you heard the silence, not feeling his hands on your ass. Looking through your shoulder, you found a blank face megumi looking at you

You were laying down on his lap and the couch, your ass displayed for him while he manhandled you. You were about to ask what’s wrong until he pulled you by the hair looking at your face before he switched positions, you’re now sitting on his lap.

With his cursed energy, some snakes came from the shadows and made sure he grabbed you by the wrists, putting them on your back so the snakes could simulate a handcuff.

Megumi is a silent man.

But this silence felt really different from the others, his dark blue orbs seemed almost black, his gaze showing no emotion other than seriousness.

He grabbed you by the armpits and positioned you on the floor, kneeled in front of him, while you watched him unbuckle his pants.

Lowering down enough his pants and boxers so his cock was displayed, pinkish tip with a small pearl coming out of his tip, a vein coming from the base on the left side, and slightly curved.

“Open your dirty mouth slut.” 

You did as he said, and he wasted no time in inserting his cock inside of you, giving you and your poor throat no time to adjust while he bobbed your head.

Your nose touching his pelvic bone, his free hand traveled down your face until he felt your throat, a small bump appearing and disappearing each time he thrusted inside of you.

A smirk appeared on his face while he groaned and left small whimpers at the pleasure of using you like a cum dump.

He has a lot of stamina, he doesn’t give up for nothing, not on a fight, not on smacking your bratty face out of your sight.

He felt that tingly feeling on his stomach, ready to cum, with just some more thrusts he dumped strips of cum inside your mouth.

You coughed a little, sore throat, trying to regain your posture when his cock left your mouth, it was still rock hard.

“Don’t have big hopes i’m going to fuck your pussy, i’ll continue fucking your mouth till you can’t even speak.”

Sukuna.

He has you sitting on his lap while he’s on his throne. Different mouths coming out of his body, one on his pelvic bone playing with your nub while he bounces you on both of his cocks. Feeling so full of him, you swear you couldn’t even talk, moans and whimpers only coming out of you.

His head was resting in one of his hands, while two of them were gripping your tits with a mouth on them while they sucked your nipples.

“You fucking brat.”

He would sometimes groan everytime your cunt clenched around his cock, or when he felt one of your holes a little bit too tight.

He had you cumming for him for 5 times now, not stopping his movements any time soon, bouncing you up and down on his cocks while he admired your body and face.

Tears staining your blushed cheeks, sweat covering your whole body, purple marks adorning your body and a bite on your shoulder from the first time he came.  Your sore and sensitive nipples bouncing in front of him, little begs and pleads coming out of you.

And all because you didn’t want to take your punishment like a good girl and challenged him with your bratty behavior.

You looked fucked up, not any kind of thinking behind your eyes, not even words to say, you were completely defenseless, used like a toy.

“If only you behaved like a good girl I would treat you like one. But right now you’re just my little whore to play with. I can stay here all night watching you lose your sanity and body control to me.”

[gettinontopic]

This is so transphobic like what the hell is this

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[Image Id: A large addition to a tumblr poat reading "Also if I'm going to be honest, passing as a man is also just easier than passing as a woman. The rules to being a man and passing as a man are much more lenient than being a woman or passing as a woman. Trans women have to worry about shit like "I need to wear an outfit that distracts people from the fact I have an adams apple, and not allow people to see that I have shoulders, and learn makeup and basically become a voice actor and etc. and maybe I won't be called a man today" (and if you pass too well and the wrong cis guy feels guilty about being attracted to you, you get murdered meanwhile if you're a trans guy and you wanna pass as a man, you gotta like have short hair and hide or remove your boobs and at this point you can already just go to the grocery store and most people will see you as a man. Once you get facial hair and a deeper voice, most people will just see you as some guy. Like I don't understand why transmascs insist on this idea that they could never really pass. Like the idea that trans man who passes is almost far-fetched. Weird as hell." End Id]

Lets upack this shall we?

1."Passing as a man is easier than passing as a woman"

No it's not. The rules to being a man and passing as a men as strict as lots of rules for women. Have you ever seen a cis guys who fails to pass? They're called names, theyre physically beat, and theyre often ostracized from their cis peers just as fast as any trans person. Cis boys cant even pass half the time by the rules they made. Quit fucking lying about men just magically having it so easy.

Your experiences as passing as a man aren't universal and if you've never passed as one what makes you think it's fucking easy?

Also god forbid you're a black man, or a black man who is into something deemed feminine. Shit I've seen guys call black men women for wearing a damn hair bonnet.

Oh not to mention I'm only a man to transphobes when they can call me a "dangerous black man" only to switch back to tryibg to detransition me by saying "you can just be a masc girl!"

2.Adams apple

While you have to hide yours, I have to wear shit that distracts people that I *don't* have one. Cause, and I know this is wild, if they expect you not to have one for being a women, what do they expect me to have for being a man? Hmm? And if you're a man who's adams apple never came in? I've seen them called girls to. Shit I've heard a guy called not manly for missing his, and he was still in puberty!!

3.Shoulders

While you have to hide you shoulders, I have to do whatever I can to have the.. small shoulders on men? maybe if youre in a "non manly" field like music or art, but I do gym work. I better look likeit regardless of the disability that effacts my muscles growth and development or I am called maam by every guy there. Which sucks btw.

4. Makeup and voice acting:

Trans men also are regularly advised to wear makeup that masculinizes them and do voice training. thats some of our oldest passing tips. thats litterally never been unique to trans women. what the FUCK kinda of implications are you trying to put out here?

5. Murder:

Hey did you know cis guys will murder trans men bc they were attracted to them and then found out they werent "real men" and then kill them. shit cis women also kill us if they find out they were attracted to us and we aren't their ideal man anymore. do u know how men who hear im butch and into women behave?

Fuck right the fuck off trying to tokenize the murder lf trans women while throwing trans men murders in the "that doesn't happen" bin.

6. How many times have we said short hair and no boobs dont fucking automatically gets us gendered correcly!! We have voices that have to be trained, we have muscles were expected to build,and some men even watch the way you walk to guess if you have a dick or not.

Listen to any trans men. any of us for five minutes. those things do not making an easily passing trans man fuck you for lying about our experiences as not a trans man.

7. "You gotta like have short hair or remove your boobs"

Untrue! just Untrue. we also have to preform the rules of manhood really well. ive seen beareded transmen clocked for like so many different other reasons and you wouldn't listen to those men if it would save all trans people lives forever. cis men constantly dig at other men presentation to keep each other in line. Its a regular for them.

Also: not all of want to pass with those features. I deserve to have long hair and not bind and still pass as a man and you suck for defining everything around passing.

8. I don't know why you insist on this idea that trans women never really pass without obscene work (when ive met trans women that admit they have it easy by throwing on a dress and wearing her hair down) and that all trans men who have ascess to transition magically do pass (When multiple of us transitioning have said we dont)

If we can't talk about the ones who don't pass then you kinda can just sweep away the idea we don't face discrimination or danger and that's getting us killed actually.

None of us have said we can all never really pass any who say they can't are usually speaking on their own experiences. Because you want us all to pass so bad you don't care that we don't, and that it gets us backlash and hurt.

Also, if you ever read this, kiss my black ass and go reevaluate what makes you think you should speak on experiences that aint yours as if you're the one with the Hard Cold Facts.

[everylasttime]

i dont really use this account i just wanted to let my feelings out and maybe get some advice

im a 17 year old conventionally attractive girl. but i dont feel like a girl. ive known this for nearly four years now and in the past i’ve identified as nonbinary but realized no one actually respected it. i wore a binder and everyone made fun of me, they still saw me as a girl. i posted a tiktok about my binder and all the comments were about how i’ll always be a girl. so i thought if im gonna have to be a girl i’ll at least be a pretty one and i managed that pretty well. i started to wear makeup and got pretty well at it people always compliment me and i don’t wanna sound weird but lots of people have a crush on me. but i’m not that girl, i’m not the person i see in the mirror and it kills me. i’m stronger than i was a few years back now if people make fun of me i wont care that much but i have a girlfriend now. she’s my soulmate and my favorite person in the whole world but i feel like she’ll always see me as a woman. she always calls me her woman (it doesn’t sound weird in our language) and always tells me about how pretty she thinks i am and that i’m the prettiest girl in the world but i’m not a girl. and i can’t ever tell her that. i wish i felt like a guy maybe that would’ve been easier at least it’d be in binary. i don’t know im just a mess and i dont even feel human anymore. i’m not the person in the mirror and it kills me everyday to act like i am. i don’t wanna be a pretty girl, i dont even wanna be a handsome one i just don’t want to feel like this anymore. realizing that im a lesbian and coming out was hard enough i cant do this anymore especially in a country where most people dont even know what nonbinary is. im just so fucking tired. no one knows i feel this way and even a friend of mine made a joke about how cringe my genderless phase was and i do wish it was a phase. i wish a was just a cishet girl who wanted attention. if you have any advice i would be grateful and thanks if you even read this this far. im a mess so i probably made a lot of grammar errors.

[genderqueerdykes]

my moms bisexual in denial but i dont think that counts

you know, it's an interesting conversation topic, because i just brought up my own mom who was in denial/in the closet about her identity, too. i do think it counts, even if someone hasn't come to accept it, themselves, because it's there and it's happening whether or not that person accepts it. obviously you don't want to tell your mom who they are and how they identify, but it can be pretty easy to pick up on someone who is queer but hasn't accepted it

my mom was exactly that, too. my mom was a closeted butch lesbian in denial. she would constantly tell me that she wished she could live with, date, and marry women. she told me numerous times throughout my life that she wished she could just marry a woman and surround herself with women. she was very butch, never wore makeup, barely wore accessories/jewelry, almost always wore men's clothes, or women's clothes that looked androgynous. always wore her hair short. she got very scared when i started presenting like a butch lesbian because she saw something reflected in herself that she was scared to admit. she even told me as a kid that i needed to not dress butch because people would assume she was a butch lesbian and call her out for it. you can see that the denial ran deep with her.

it's unfortunate because i feel like we really could've bonded over that, but she's not with us anymore. so all i can really do is think back on how she was too scared to live her true life, and how i just can't do that to myself. my mom lived in a progressive enough state that she would not have had much issue marrying another woman. but she was unfortunately scared to step out of the closet, and many people live those lives. my sister is the same as my mother. she has parroted the exact same things my mother has said, plus, when i was in high school, we had a day where we were supposed to wear a specific color to show support of queer students. when i asked my sister if she had a shirt in that color and explained why, she actually asked me

"Why would you support people who choose to be gay?" in utter confusion, i blinked at her, and went "What, do you wake up every day and choose to be straight?" and i kid you not, she proudly put her hands on her hips and said "Yes, I do!" it was so painful to witness. i wish I had told her "So you... aren't straight." i wish i had had the courage to tell her that's not normal and that if you have to wake up every day and choose to be a specific sexuality, you're lying to yourself. her perspective on queerness never really got better, espcially after i transitioned, but that's a story for another day. my sister blew my mind that day... i realized i had 2 queer family members who were scared shitless to admit it and instead of accepting it, they took it out on me.

sorry for the ramble, but i just wanted to bring up my own experience with this because i'v eknown my mom has been a closeted butch lesbian my entire life and it's something that moves me. she lived her entire life in denial, start to finish, and was never able to be herself. i'd say it saddens me, but it doesn't. it motivates me to always be my most authentic self. because living a life that's not yours isn't living. my mom could've potentially have been a much happier person, but fear kept her trapped in her misery. i don't want to do that to myself

[nerd-space]

Mike this and Josh that...

Chris being so into you he finds every possible way to hang out, be with you or touch you? Every moment he gets counts? The first thing he asks when everyone's getting together is if you're there?

Eventually the moment finally comes, and it's grand!!!

Again, I'm not ashamed of being into this hot piece of meat. Staying wild and free, no anonymity (say it out loud and it rhymes)

This man is the type to get a crush on someone after meeting them once BAHAHA LETS BE SERIOUS 😭

also god yeah dude lack of anon is so me i do that too 🤭

Chris genuinely was so nervous when he met you for the first time- lets say he met you through ashley or something and shes like a mega lesbian idfk LMAO

anyways Chris constantly asks if you're coming with Ashley to hangout at her place or his place and you end up coming over 24/7 without Ashley and you guys all go to the mall together and shit and he's always as close to you as possible 🥹

If you're too tired to hangout or busy he'll always send you a text like " missed you today :( " JSJSJSJ

If you're more straightforward ( like mwuah ) and admit to liking him fast he'll reciprocate with just as much enthusiasm and will sigh a massive sigh of relief lol

If you're both nervous... well.. might take months or.. years to admit to eachother anything unless someone drunkenly admits to it LOLOLDL

Anyways... dating phase omg...

i will be adding some nsfw to this btw cuz i always add nsfw 🥴 anywaaayhhyssss

Dating phase

Nervous wreck for about a week and then he gets the hang of it LMAO

love love loves to constantly be holding your hand or back or anything- shit he'll make sure your guy's feet touch as long as he has a limb on you

also does things for you.. constantly. acts of service man galore. Waterbottle empty? no it isnt :) - opening doors? dont even reach for the door car or other, its already open babes. he easily memorizes what you order anywhere and will literally just get you things bcus he can duh!

Nsfw time.

Dom, he definitely doms once he's comfortable or if you just are again, straightforward it's helpful to get him to also be straightforward with you so like when you guys have sex for the first time together and you're like

"pls rock my shit?" and he's just like "...can do."

he likes the aspect of caring for you mundanely and sexually. he reaaaally does.

He also seems the type to be the nerdy awkward guy who watches insane fucking porn- probably watched porn with Josh at least once before. genuinely knows what he's doing though and always asks you questions

depending on his mood he'll either be fucking you and ruininb your makeup into your sheets OR being really rough and slow with you just because he missed you or something.

first time he choked you he was terrified till he saw how hard you came from it. now its just a sex staple.

made you almost black out one time- got terrified again- when you begged; genuinely begged him to do it again he did it and then slowly got more turned on by the way you gave him full trust in your life into his hands...

Loves fingering you on his lap, also loves to finger you when you're both out with friends and you have a habit of not wearing underwear anymore so he can get easy access to you ?28;9-9(99/

anyways normal!

[reallife6anoufriev6boy6]

tft transfem artkita hcs? ^_^

t4t transfem artkita headcanons!

so i dont have any names for them picked out yet, but i think artyom would choose something really pretty while nikita would either just keep hers or would name herself something similar.

artyom would dress really nicely too. i can see her wearing brown/black skirts that go past her knees with some black/tan tights and furry winter boots or black marry janes depending on the weather - as well as one of those black plastic-y coats.

nikita on the other hand probably wouldn’t look much different. she would wear the same clothes she already wore (example being the hoodie with just a pair of black jeans) but sometimes artyom will help her get dressed up and make her look pretty whenever shes feeling nice.

in the typical universe artyoms ass would be hitting on girls, but now she would be hitting on boys to make nikita jealous.

when they fight and argue theyll both misgender each other just to piss one another off which will just make them fight more.

artyom would also probably tell nikita she doesnt look like a girl and that she isnt trying hard enough. they can both be trans lesbians, but that doesnt mean their personalities change. it would make nikita get very upset because she is trying, but shes too scared to really be a girl outwardly like artyom because she would just get made fun of.

i think itd be really cute though for them to do each others makeup and stuff. like when theyre in a good mood and not fighting artyom will offer to do nikitas makeup for her - nikita will try to do it back, but shes bad at it.

i also think it would be pretty badass for artyom to wear her nice, pretty clothes and skirts while they kill people. she doesnt care if they get messy as long as she looks hot and sexy while doing it (nikita practically drools over it).

if i think of anymore ill add them!

[uselessgirldotcom]

with each day its harder to justify dressing silly, wearing accessories, doing makeup. like i genuinely don’t give a fuck about this when im not being perceived :/ i just dress up so people can easily tell im weird and/or find me more attractive. my appearance and clothing has shit to do with my identity or “self expression” because im not 16 anymore. and i dont mean im against dressing up or being extravagant i mean dressing up everyday and being really invested in your external appearance. redownloading tiktok got me thinking about this because as much as i love seeing peoples personal styles sometimes it feels absurd to see the amount of time some women spend on getting ready everyday and desperately trying to curate an experience others have of them. im saying this as a chronic shopaholic and someone obsessed with my physical appearance btw. im not smart enough to explain this but it has to have something to do with consumerism and the idea of personal style being a marker of self expression and therefore empowerment.

[grossillygirl]

ik this sounds weird because like my body is "attractive" but im not used to guys finding me attractive. religious upbringing combined with growing up in a place where all the boys were white and i experienced racism i just assumed i was very unattractive 😭 like i thought i looked deformed it was bad

and now i realise like im beautiful and i dont dress in hoodies to cover up my body anymore and like i wear makeup cus i believe that i have beauty in the first place to accentuate. and anyway, its like. i find it do surreal when a guy is genuinely attracted to me. like theyve seen my face, my figure, and they hit on me???? What. The hell. ITS SCARIER WHEN ITS WOMEN CUZ IM LIKE OH MY GOD UR MKRE BEAUTIFUL DONT TALK TO ME. yk?

so anyway yeah i just am struggling to process that people might find me cute? or pretty or anything???? like idk it's insane to me i didnt think it was really possible. but its started to become like "ok they only rly value me cus of how i look" and thats sad LMAO so like polar opposite to before😭😭

its crazy how whej my mindset changed.. i genuinely started to look better. my skin is better, i have better day to day interactions, im nicer to myself, I actually do grooming which makes me look better, i have the confidence to wear clothes that compliment my body etc. im rambling so much but idc 😭 i constantly am thinking about this

I ALSO realised that when ppl can tell im insecure, they jump at the opportunity to worsen it. when im confident, i genuinely attract nicer ,kinder, uplifting people. si yeah anyway im done

[turnin9pag3]

i say that i am going to kill myself and im not even sure if i am joking or not anymore. because my mustles are weak and i feel my bones creak every time i stand. and i look in the mirror and im not sure i like who is staring back at me. i hate my face. i hate my body. i hate my hair. i hate that my nose is too big and my lips are too small. i hate that my teeth r too yellow and crooked and my face is too red and pimpled. i hate that my eyes are too dark and my eyebrows are too light. i hate that i hate everything about how i look but i cant fix it because wearing makeup feels like playing dress up and i dont even know who i am anymore. i want to be human but i think im well past the point of humanity. i am untouchable to all but myself yet your mind is your own biggest critic. so i hate myself and tell everyone i dont because i dont know what to think.

so i say i am going to kill myself and i can no longer recognize the humor in a statement that feels so true. though i guess it has to be false because the sad truth is i simply do not have the guts. it has been like this for as long as i can remember and nothing has changed yet here i am so i don’t see myself leaving anytime soon even if i wish i could.

i remember being 10 years hidden behind the washer in my laundry room with a rag in my mouth attempting to muffle the sobs. i remember walking to my room after like nothing happened and no one ever questioned it. i remember writing a letter to my mother explaining how i was scared about how terrible i felt because it felt like it would never end. i was scared she would be mad at me if i told her. she would not have but the young mind thinks irrationally and i did not know what was happening to me. it is 5 years later and i still feel like that little girl hunched over and gagged by her own hand behind the washer, hiding from the family that made her feel like this. half a decade later and i still want to send that letter but its been too long and im too old to feel so helpless and im too smart to feel so sad and im too pretty to feel so ugly and i have too much potential to be wasted because i felt a little bad. that little girl has grown and wasted away and its too late.

so i tell people i am going to kill myself and no i dont really mean it. but dont i?

because i can see myself gaining weight and i am nothing special. because there are people smarter than me everywhere and i cant bare to pick up a book anymore. because i talk too much and i know im annoying but all i want to do is speak to you and you cant stand to text me back. im over eager and over chalant. i care too much but i will never care enough. i am an enigma to myself and i hate myself. yet i have never loved anyone more.

“you are an artist, and your mind dont work the way you want it to.”

if someone asked me who my best friend is i would say myself and my mind. if someone asked me who my worst enemy is my answer would not change. some may call that contradicting and maybe theyre right. or maybe they have never experienced my brain and they will never know the true beauty of hating yourself.

so if you ask me i will tell you that yes i want to kill myself without an ounce of humor. yet if you were to ask about the execution i would walk away laughing.

i want to kill myself but im weak and i wouldnt be able to stomach it. the bile rises in my throat as i hold the knife to it and it falls with my tears to the floor. at the end of the day i am still nothing but a little girl sobbing in a heap on the floor, jaw clamped around a rag, with a tear-soaked letter of self hatred crumpled next to her.

the only difference is now i am old and the letter is a suicide note i will never post because i will never need it.

i said i was going to kill myself and i meant it. but i did not mean physically for i am already long dead in every way but this one.

[cheatsykoopa98]

Drew the Mortal Kombat ninjas. Isolated pics of each one below! (and hc lore for my au)

scorpion's skin is burnt because when he died. the hellfire tried to consume him, but such was his need for revenge he took it for himself, even if it burned him. so even after he comes back as hanzo hasashi hes still burnt

sub zero, after restoring the lin kuei, is always wearing the armor he had in deception. as much as canon after mk9 has him always wearing his mk3 look

reptile is actually wearing someone's skin over his saurian body. probably from someone who fell down in the pit. eventually he'll lose all of it and have to find a new one, or just go "commando" by showing his true self. his mask is based on the mkx one, with it looking like a lizard snout and being able to open so he can spit his acid

I tried to mix ermac's m1k design with his old deception one (did you notice I really like the designs from that era? lmao) I tried a lot to make him look like a ninja and a sorcerer, since lately they've been designing him to look much more like a sorcerer than a ninja. his skin is the same color as him in m1k

I like smoke's design from m1k and how all the ninjas dont have hoods anymore. since smoke doesnt wear a hood in mk9 I tried mixing his design from that game with m1k, so he has a hair bun, but his hair is still "flowy" and moves around as if it was underwater. his clothes also have a smoke/wind pattern like fujin's clothes from mk11. his bracelets and ankle covers are sharper because hes supposed to be a quick character

noob has the scythe from mk11, I loved the idea of him being a grim reaper character, but also I liked mk9's idea of his clothes being the same as when he was sub zero. so I took shaolin monks' design (my favorite classic sub zero) and scorched it. its to imply scorpion burnt him to a crisp, so he put on that hood to hide his face. I couldnt draw saibot but hes basically the same as MKSM sub zero, but all blacked out and his eyes glowing

I love Rain's designs from mk9 and 11, so I kind of mixed the veil mask and armor from 9 with the noble robes he has in 11. I also made his mask kind of like a crown and gave him makeup (hes a vain guy, I think it fits him)

tremor had the luck on being on the most brown game in the series that was mkx. but since this series is so colorful (something I dont like that m1k made it less) I made him almost orange. he always has lava around his body and his mask is made to resemble bane from the dark knight rises (hes also really tall and muscular, did you notice? lol)

sorry for the long text. I just have a lot of ideas for my au and I might start posting a little comic Ive been working on later

[asylumdwellermoved]

what are your personal headcannons for high jealousy kylar?? :>

(i saw that he was one of your favs and had to ask hehehehehe)

cw kylar being kylar, dub/noncon, self harm, somnophilia, gross

• pretty generic but everything they give you has a part of them in it. usually cum or blood, but on occasion things like hair, fingernails, saliva, etc.

• in subtle painfully obvious ways they try to mimic whoever you are giving your attention to over them so that youll like them more. noticing robin has a specific phrase that they tend to repeat and practicing it in the mirror, trying to match their exact tone and cadence. forcing themself to smoke just enough cigarettes to get the smell on their clothes so their scent triggers the same response in you as when youre with whitney. "hey pc, i tried to put my hair in a ponytail today... you know, just to try something different... do you think it's pretty?"

• that knife situation when they first become a li? yeah, expect a lot more of that. they try to stop and settle for just being really mean or something instead of knife threats when they realize that getting sent to the office or getting sent home often means they cant see whoever's trying to get into your pants for the rest of the day, but its 90% impulse.

• when they have sex with you they lean into marking you with their cum. almost overstimulates themself trying to make sure their smell is on you. shoots a load into/stuffs themself with your underwear when they get the chance so you have to walk around with the feeling of their slick against you all day.

• on that note, overstimulates you too. deep down they feel a little guilty for pretending they dont hear you when you tell them to slow down or that its too much. a relieved grin tugs at their lips when they make you feel so good that you cant speak well enough to protest anymore. youll look back on this happily soon, theyre sure. that they pleasured you so much more than anyone else would bother to.

• hickeys EVERYWHERE thats the easiest way for them get their fix of claiming you without ACTUALLY hurting you (although that can be compromised just a little if theyre pushed over the edge).

• deeper eyebags from how often theyre just. in hysterics. sobbing

• gets a fixation on carving your name into themself. subtly tries to get you to see it, partially so youll see how devoted they are.

• tries to put a little more effort into their appearance. maybe putting on a little makeup, wearing more accessories... unless you dont like that of course. you like it, right?

• if they get desperate enough the night visits dont stop at them just cumming on your face. every now and then theyll get brave enough to give you oral or lightly hump against your sleeping body.

• their collection of things they pick up after you gets a little insane. if they cant have you, anything that has you on it will have to do. at least you cant take that away from them.

• lots of praise when you do give them affection or feed into them being possessive. may even spoil you to the best of their ability.

• half the time theyre a lot less receptive to when you reject them. like sometimes instead of crying they just blankly smile at you because since your actual answer would be just enough to send them into a breakdown at that moment, the you in their head answered them with just what they wanted to hear.

[corvidcall]

i feel like i saw someone else say this, but i cant remember where. but its weird to me that people will present current beauty standards as so much less restricting than they used to be in days of yore. as someone who has never met beauty standards, it seems like the shift has been less about embracing peoples natural beauty and more about like. mandating that you must be beautiful but also mandating that you deny that you're trying??

people used to wear hairstyles that took hours to construct, and sure we dont do that anymore, but it's not because we dont care about you having the correct hairstyle. we just dont want you to admit you put effort into it. is a 1920s full face of makeup actually less work than the elaborate skincare and makeup routines girlies do on tiktok? have we embraced "natural beauty", or have we just made it abberant to admit that it wasnt natural?

is athleisure being so popular really a positive change in fashion? is it really embracing comfort? or is it just denying anyone who doesnt already meet the standards any place to hide? corsets were restrictive, sure, but you could pad a corset. You can tailor a suit to accentuate certain features and downplay others.

idk. i dont think im articulating this well enough. but i feel like its weird to demand constant beauty and also demand like it was natural. and it's even more frustrating when people look back on fashions of the past and be like "wow im so glad i live now, where nobody forces me to wear a corset or a long skirt or a suit!!!" yeah those garments were probably taxing, at least occasionally! but are you more free now that you're expected to wear tight, stretchy fabrics every day? where theres no way to hide every unslightly bulge or dip in your skin? where you cant pad anything or strategically arrange any fabrics to make you look better, so the only option is to undergo surgical alternations if you want to feel good in your own body??? i dont know. i just think its fucked up that a transition towards alleged "comfort" seems to have, instead of making people more comfortable, just given them fewer options when it comes to how they can make their bodies look good.

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

hii mac hi hi hi. I'm here to ask. About mark winters nhw edition. How the Fuck is he doing after ashe gets mused. Does he track the news. Does he think about overlord and having shit forcefully done to his body via evil lizard science and does he think about the trickster and ashe's clothing and piercings and his whole body language changing. Does mark Not Think about the blood staining both of them but Jesus fucking Christ at least overlord never told him to eat a guy at least he *could* say no when asked to hurt a baby. I don't fjcking remember how long the chatacter limit for asks are but mark winters who went to inane (wave)lengths to try to protect his kid waking up and learning the fucking. Events that lead up to ashe disappearing. It's bad enough in canon that mark was in the same room but God im thinking about about the next time he sees ashe and it takes a second for him to even recognize him under all that glitz and pizazz. anyway sorry yeah 🎤 what's your thoughts about mark winters during the muse period

- @suckinitup

GODDDD SUCK YOU HAVE WONDERFUL TIMING I literally justttt finished sketching him for my halloween art... here u can have a preview Just For You because I rlly rlly like how his face turned out . also putting all of this under a cut because holyyyyy shit I love to talk about this guy

<< this is NOT nhw mark but like. still counts. hes wearing a costume <3

anyway. hello. spins around ominously in my big tall villain chair and puts my hands on the table. beloved mutual suckinitup. you have asked me a wonderful question :)

BAD. THE ANSWER IS BAD. HES DOING BAD. HES DOING REALLY BAD !!!!!!!!!!!

<< i dont think tide would text him but if he did it would look like this.

he wakes up from overlord mutations not knowing how to use half his body and his vision and balance are all fucked up but that doesnt fucking matter because ashe is missing! and he doesnt have to worry about overlord anymore apparently because hes been turned to soup! by ashe! hes doing BAD man! hes worried and hes paranoid and hes fucking scared and hes mad at basically everything (at ashe for leaving, at the wards for taking him in, at tide for not protecting them, at HIMSELF for not protecting him, at overlord for the everything, at the simurgh for causing all of this in the first place!) and. literally the only other person he has in the entire world killed a guy badly and went missing so mark does not have a need to go around in civilian clothes anymore. hes not mark right now hes wavelength. whos mark. my son calls me mark and hes not fucking here right now is he. he OBVIOUSLY does not work with the wards in trying to find ashe, but i think they try to talk to him. because they feel bad, because theyre scared too, because they want his help. he doesnt listen to them.

aaand then they get the note from trickster and they actually see ashe and they see trickster use his powers and take him back to Amity and i think theyre just too... overwhelmed and angry and scared and worried to even think about mark, whose last interaction with them was telling them to fuck off because they nearly got his son killed. so they dont tell him. so he doesnt know until he sees the news, probably like. maybe a week or two after the wards find out (trickster needs time to practice using his powers :) and find him silly little outfits :)

uhhhhh. yeah. fuck. undecided WHERE mark is when he sees the news, i think it would be awful if he was just. like. u know how in movies or cartoons sometimes someone will be walking by a store window thats just full of tvs all on some dramatically appropriate news channel. maybe its like that. and the worst part is i dont think he recognizes ashe at first. like. as much as muse Does Not cover his face and his identity is PLAINLY in the open... i think theres juuuust enough of an uncanny difference with the hair and the outfit and the makeup that if youre not looking closely its easy to miss who he is. because hes SO MUCH not like ashe. (and i think the fact that he didnt recognize him immediately also eats away at mark. how could you not recognize your own son idiot!) but like. as soon as the pieces click and he realizes it like.... oh he has to fucking break down. i think he just like. freezes eyes glued to the screen watching ashe rip apart a city block with his powers and laughing about it, but then he kind of snaps out of it and is just so fucking overwhelmed with rage and grief and a billion other emotions that he smashes the fucking tv. just puts a fist straight through it. hes lucky he cant really be electrocuted. and then he IMMEDIATELY regrets that because now he needs to find a different place to see the news because he Cant Not Know whats happening.

this whole time btw there is this huuuuuge overwhelming looming fear of the confirmation that THIS is the thing simurgh marked them for. he thought it was the overlord thing but this is So Much Worse. (this is. not true. simurgh didnt actually mark either of them for anything. he doesnt know that though). so in marks head it all comes crashing down like. oh god oh fuck everything ive done our whole lives meant absolutely fucking nothing because it all happened anyway. and i think he should feel awful about that. he kept ashe literally locked away for his whole life for nothing. but at the same time theres a tiny part of his mind that just wants to go I TOLD YOU SO because the Moment he let ashe go even a little bit. this happens. hes very conflicted about this.

anyway yeah he obsessively tracks the news every time there is a new muse sighting he goes there but hes not Fast Enough a lot of the time (because hes stubborn and wont ask for help) so a lot of the time he just has to sit there in the wreckage and realize that his boy is the one that did that (except its Not his boy. i dont know if he knows that yet though)

speaking of which. man i gotta talk to ros about this. how the hell does mark figure out whos controlling ashe. i mean. like. he KNOWS that thats Not Ashe ever since the beginning. bc his kid wouldnt do that or dress like that or talk like that or laugh like that. but when does he actually figure out its the trickster? i think we need to force him into having a conversation with the wards. i think failsafe should punch him so hard his mask cracks and they should tell him hes being fucking stupid . and then they tell him about the trickster. and mark probably does all this research into amity and the chaos zone and shit. but he Cannot get into amity, especially not by himself. so hes stuck in the cycle of just following the muse news (hehe fun rhyme)

i dont remember if ive ever made a post about this or if it was just in one of mine and ros back and forth in the replies on a post thing. however. i think mark should get to talk to muse once and its a relallylly really really good parallel of when ashe first triggered. beacuse mark Knows this is him in his breaker state and the only thing he knows to do to get ashe out of breaker state is to just. sit there and talk to him until he calms down. so i just have this image of like. muse all fucked up and bloody and emotionless just staring at mark who is. on the opposite side of a roof or an alley or something and he takes off his mask and hes just Talking. about everything about nothing about random shit hes just talking. and the thing is like... it works. a little bit. muse sort of kind of drops out of breaker state just a little, just enough for tricksters hold to slip on him the tiniest bit, and trickster isnt in the immediate vicinity right now so he doesnt notice right away. and suddenly its ashe crying and delirious and hes jsut. apologizing for losing marks jacket. but he doesnt move he doesnt get any closer and when mark runs forward toward him he flinches so hard it snaps him back into breaker state and suddenly hes muse again and mark gets thrown back with. feathers detached from muses costume that suddenly have the density of bricks. and muse is gone. (simurgh parallels here btw . and if tide was here he would see parallels to elle and it would hurt so bad. but tide is busy with the wards so he doesnt see that.)

(i was on the pinterest board earlier so this is the costume insp im imagining him wearing at the time hehe i love simurgh parallels)