#i dont really care to be honest

[kuyashiz]

Hi I posted this everywhere so I will post here too idgaf

[tunapesto]

she fear on my hunger til I termina

[ilynpilled]

jaime turning women down constantly more bc he is very monogamous and in love with someone else right now for the first time and is also kinda scared of actually having sex with someone other than cersei is sm better to me than “i respect the kg vows of chastity so intensely rn actually because i changed into a good and serious person” or whatever lol

[sonknuxadow]

LOVE LOSES !!!!!!!!!!!!

[treatsformeeko]

This dialogue has always baffled me. It is locked behind a 30 cunning check, which I think may be impossible to reach without cheats at this early stage in the game (?) but its implications are INSANE. Entirely too long tirade below the cut:

How could the darkspawn possibly know the plan? Does it have anything to do with darkspawn showing greater signs of intelligence (re: the Architect, the Messenger)? Awakening was being written before DAO came out — was this meant to tie into that?

Many people online have discussed that it may be a remnant of abandoned plot threads that paint loghain as more of a mustache-twirling villain, working with the darkspawn (either willingly or perhaps under their influence?) to make sure the signal fire doesn’t get lit. David Gaider explained at length that the Ostagar plotline and the Cailan/Loghain conflict were subject to numerous rewrites. And while it is true that there is no further dialogue to suggest that Loghain was working with the darkspawn as this dialogue implies, my next question is what were his men doing in the tunnels underneath the Tower of Ishal?

Even before I had seen this exact line, in my first playthrough I operated under the assumption that Loghain had purposefully sabotaged the Tower in order to place blame on the Grey Wardens (an already easy scapegoat given their very recent return from exile) once he inevitably quit the field. I never once thought that his decision to retreat from Ostagar was made in the heat of the moment — after all, why would Howe already be making moves on Highever if he thought that Cailan would be alive after the battle to punish him for it? And if it were the case that Loghain planned for Cailan to die at Ostagar, why would he allow the signal fire to be lit on time and still quit the field knowing that some of his men would see this as betraying the King, regardless of how good he was at being a leader? Was it just a very happy accident that the darkspawn overwhelming the Tower and delaying made him look less villainous to his own army? Why would he leave this up to chance when so much of his plan before this seems to be so carefully crafted?

Frankly speaking, much of the deeper DAO lore seems to be happy accidents — constant rewrites and abandoned plot threads coming together to create a genuinely interesting story where the truth is not easily identified. And honestly, I think it benefited greatly from this! The truth is messy, especially when there are this many players vying for power in some way or another.

Personally, I’m of the mind that dev-lore comes secondary to what actually makes it into the game, even when the devs had better ideas than what we got. Which is why it is so fascinating that this line still exists in game and yet is nearly impossible to obtain! Why does it still exist? Why is it so hard to obtain? What implications does it have on the greater plot?

I don’t necessarily have an interesting conclusion beyond the fact that I am still in awe at the reactivity of this game that is objectively pretty clunky and ugly by today’s standards. I love Loghain as a villain in part because he is so human, and as much as I enjoy the sequels I really think that he is one of the best antagonists of the entire series. I find it really interesting that his reputation is not entirely shredded to pieces by Inquisition, as some Ostagar vets still sing his praises, which just further drives home the point that he has the capacity for good AND evil! I mean hell, the whole game is about making sacrifices for the greater good. Couldn’t you still argue that that was what Loghain was doing (or at least thought he was doing)?

All of this being an entirely too-long wind up to say: fuck you Quartermaster Threnn. I know what I saw.

[snekdood]

"if we make america worse and more of a dictatorship that will be even harder to unravel and make it the way we want the country to be, maybe then everyone will join our Glorious Revolution!" bb girl you cant even be in the same room with someone who thinks you should vote, how in tf do you think you're gonna unite people to fight in The Revolution with you? it's gonna be you and your 5 friends, i hate to break it to you.

[splat-details]

Goby Arena

[crustyfloor]

Brain vomit...I am insanely jealous of the people who can get the new merch. And I am planning an elaborate heist. But aside from that, I'm also crazy over the lore implications of the new photo-card designs...

Of course, they're all suffering as per usual. But it's symbolized by cracks in their skin. When I saw that, I immediately linked it back to the collapse of barriers, secrets, structures, etc. The hearts, however, confused me a bit. But I suppose it's because the reason they all "broke" is ultimately because of their love.

This is probably the most distressed Ivan has ever looked in a photo card, and really, he's honest. The tone of his card is sickeningly oversaturated and overwhelming, and his emotions are visceral, I also find it interesting how the cracks are littered all over his face, and the hearts leak out like that from the neck--and Ivan holds his face like he's trying to "fix" it, or in other words, "keep it together" as he's breaking down and becoming vulnerable, he has to cover up his expression behind something more appealing as he always does. He's also wearing his Anakt Garden uniform. When he was a child, he was just learning how to develop his mask. But even then, he faltered sometimes, Ivan's automatic response is always to try to fix it, even if he's underplaying the severity of his feelings, it's what he has to do regardless, I love his card for that portrayal when he tries to keep one wound closed, another wound opens, its erratic and uncontrollable, like his true emotions. When I see him trying, it looks like it's hard because, well--he's breaking down. Normally, you can't just bounce back from that, so in this rare moment, he struggles with how to deal with it. (A certain desperation to keep up the act?) (His eyes. I really like his eyes in this PC, it's more akin to those moments when his true expression comes out, in those very rare moments)

And then there's Till, I feel pain when my wife feels pain. His expression, too, is very overwhelming. Like he's suffocating too, But his cracks are minimal, not because his pain is small but because vulnerability--something he loathes, is coming to the surface. In tears, Till is suppressing his emotions. Who he bleeds for is ambiguous here, you could say the hearts are for Ivan or for Mizi, but I think it's both. Because he hides from the both of them and eventually the love he feels for them both seeps out one way or the other like a slow leak through a crack in the wall, he's spent so many years building a fortress of a barrier to emotionally separate himself from others, it's his way of protecting himself. But at the peak of his suffering, long too deep into this hell, losing Mizi and then Ivan, he's crying because he's slowly breaking down, and the way he grips at his hair like he's trying to hold back...urgh. In different ways, indifferently, Till ignores Ivan and his affections, and fearfully, he avoids Mizi, instead watching her from afar, doing small things to feel close to her, even when he has the opportunity to get closer, and even when she acknowledges that he's so avoidant of her that it makes Mizi concerned if he even likes her or not, as was said in the Artbook when asked for her opinion of him:

"Mizi -> Till: I'd love to be friends with him. He's an artist who's so dedicated to his work. But he seems to be avoiding me... Does he hate me?"

Till doesn't confront relationships any more than he has to even though he cares so so deeply for them because confronting his emotions and confronting vulnerability, sadness, happiness, etc., and especially fear, is a commitment you have to understand how to accept and respond to, and Till doesn't understand the how when he can only go back to his starting point, hiding and or getting angry, because it's easier. At this point, it's instinct. Shyness is one thing, but doubt is something that can make you freeze in place, confuse you, make you feel unsafe, and even hinder your ability to control yourself in the wake of fear. Fear is what roots Till in place. Till, even for how emotional and sensitive he truly is, he fears the type of vulnerability being emotional requires, he knows of it, but he can never truly embrace it out of fear, that's why he rarely ever shows his heart. He already knows that wearing your weakness on your sleeve leaves you vulnerable to pain, he used to be childish and vulnerable once, and technically, he still is, but just imagine what years upon years of cruelty has instilled in him. So he acts cold and avoidant, and these misunderstood emotions lead to other misguided intentions. That's what brings me to the quote on the back of his pc

Translation:

"사랑 같은 애매한 말보다 증오란 말이 확실해요" -> "The word hatred is more certain than vaguer words like love"

Rather than confronting uncertainty and exploring the confusing, unpredictable, and gray area that is love, hate is honest, hate is intentional, hate is malleable, and you can control it. It's Till's response to feeling unsafe to resort to anger, in the same way, Ivan resorts to trying to fix it and put on a facade. Again, it ties back to the fact that Till doesn't and has never hated Ivan, but understanding Ivan is as confusing as understanding love, Till is as much of a puzzle himself. That's why they confuse each other and clash. So they come close but remain distanced because their connection is almost like unattractive magnets, Till is sensitive and loving, compared to Ivan's regrets; of not being nicer, of not understanding how to get closer to Till, then I think about what Till's recollection of his relationship with Ivan and Mizi in retrospective would be like when he does acknowledge it.

And now...mmizisua. To me, Sua looks more aware of her pain than Mizi is, like in the storyline, she is more aware of their fragility and the cruelness of their environment. It's surely a parallel to the way Sua had kept Mizi in the dark for so many years, even when this pain and this love are so destructive, she covers up her wound with her hand and hides it from Mizi, to protect her, her wound is a direct correlation to her (inevitable) death, a truth that would shatter Mizi, even after he death she wants Mizi to remember her the same as she was when she was alive, unaffected by their world. She tries to force a smile as if everything is still okay, especially because she doesn't want to affect the way Mizi looks at her so lovingly, how would Mizi ever recover if she knew the truth?

And Mizi would seemingly be none the wiser if not for the tears because, to me, she knows but looks to Sua for comfort, to forget even when she is hurt the same way, I love this side of MiziSua a lot, the side that highlights the cruelty of their relationship that surrounds their bubble, because as long as they could distract themselves with the presence of each other, the co-dependence of their dynamic, they could forget as if they couldn't feel the pain at all as long as they had each other, but Mizi is still so affected by her pain, all this hiding had amounted to nothing in the end because Mizi never changes in Sua's eyes, and Sua is still hiding her pain, but that day, Sua had broken that bubble of ignorance to the evil around them. Mizi's cracking, and she shows Sua when she pulls back her hair. It's an interesting contrast between MiziSua and IvanTill, when Mizi and Sua smile, they look happy to be in love, even if it's twisted and hurts each other, because they only rely on each other, and Ivan and Till look inconsolably pained.

[sunllghtt]

Yk what in case you're wandering or didn't see it here's that deleted scene I was talking about

[orange-artblog]

joking around was fun but now I did a ~final of Esther‘s design xp

she‘s a supposed Aim (post dark cream) x Axel (errorink) kid made out of the magic of headcanons and inside jokes (/j)

Aim is by @zu-is-here / Axel is by @ari-cuno

anyway I went and had some more fun with her

alsoo this

[hypocrisy-incarnate]

once again thinking about podcast men with the most british names i've ever fucking heard

[love-is-a-pearl]

Wait okay now I'm confused, do you not ship them romantically?

Yes. And no. Both?

I've said time and time again that I like Ash and Dawn and their relationship. Period.

I don't care how it's portrayed. If it's romantic, if it's platonic, is it's something in-between (aka what queer platonic kind fits into). They can be friends with benefits, divorced, married or just bffs. Gosh I even like the idea of them as siblings!

What matters for me is not what they are. But rather that they LOVE eachother. Because they do!! They adore one another! They are easily the most important person in their lives and they are both better when together! And they like being together!

As long that part of them is kept intact I honestly don't care for the specifics of their relationship ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[pixelkip]

Dolls in pseudo paradise is so so cool and interesting and it pains me every day that pretty much everyone reads it, sees the vague implication that the killer was a blonde girl and immediately decides either flandre or Alice is the killer. Cmon guys. We can come up with way more interesting and convoluted and way more likely to fit the story explanations than that.

Dipp is way more confusing and brain hurty and FUN when you actually try to analyze it instead of blaming an existing character and I wish I saw more discussion about it. Go read dolls in pseudo paradise (well, once the touhou wiki is back up, God dammit cloudflare) and go make weird convoluted theorycrafting and toxic yuri about it. I am starved for my unnamed dipp art girls yuri please god. But also the theorycrafting. Please. I cannot be the only one who has Too Many Thoughts about this.

[weirdmageddon]

how do people even find partners. i dont want a bullshit answer, like really

[strangerwheelerthings]

I don't know if it's because it's been too long since I last watched Stranger Things, but I genuinely don't remember a happy Nancy scene post Barb...

This is such an interesting thing to think about because it's not as if Nancy looks miserable in most scenes of the show. In fact, she often looks determined and occasionally excited even. She has smiled before, but excitement about progress in a case, something she's passionate about because of Barb, isn't necessarily happiness. So this is something you have to look beyond face value for.

Nancy suffers quite plainly with survivors guilt and with a lot of trauma. She isn't healed from what happened in Season One, and I don't think she even let herself really start until after season three. Not with so much unresolved. She also hasn't had the help she really needs either. However, Nancy has experienced happiness since Barb's death. There are moments she forgets. It’s only healthy that she's not so obessively mired in her misery that she can't have moments to breathe.

It's been a while since I've watched the show, too, so I can't say if there's a Jancy scene where she's just happy. Their get-together scene was very in the middle of Barb trauma, the wake up together scene is very stressed and rushed. Jonathan has been good to her, but all their scenes are a very mixed bag of emotions with happiness not really being the predominant one.

There are three small scenes from season four that come to mind. The first is Lucas's game. Nancy is quite genuinely proud and happy for Lucas in that moment of success. It's such a small shot, but it's one of a few scenes that show us that Nancy cares a whole lot more about Mike’s friends than she ever says.

The second is the scene with the dog, right before the plot plummets Nancy right back into her guilt complex. She's starting to live, and she lets herself be, for just a second, when she steps away from a murder investigation to just play with a dog. This is the first real evidence that her passion for her work is not just about Barb anymore.

The last scene is the officially friends scene with Robin. It's simply a moment of establishing connection, and both girls are just so warm in that moment. It's another sign of Nancy starting to actually heal. She's happy to have a new girl friend, not scared or guilty like she would have been before.

[starlightswordfight]

UHH REMINDER ALSO SINCE I HAVE BEEN SHARING A LOT MORE NEGATIVE THINGS LATELY that amid literally everything that's been going on, there are still things that you can do to retain control in your life in at least some areas!! not everyone can actively protest right now, not everyone has the means and that is OKAY! do what you can when you can!!

this post is a wall of text of me rambling about things you can do Right Now in your community or to keep yourself happy and motivated and going. it's a long one so it's going under read more. I also talk a lot more in the tags

i also use terms like Current Events a lot so I also apologize for the vagueness in some places!! I do not know if this will get flagged if I get more specific and my account has tried to go down twice now

#1: BONDING WITH YOUR COMMUNITY (WITH PERSONAL SAFETY IN MIND)

getting involved in your local community is a big big big thing I've seen talked about lately and I agree with that entirely!! the #1 best thing I feel like anyone can do right now is either volunteering at local support groups or getting involved in local activism

if you have a local community you can connect with for whatever reason then that's absolutely a good idea for both practical and emotional reasons. it can be for anything really, actually. reach out to friends, reach out to family, keep talking to people if you have the energy! it really does make a difference!

^ related to the above, if you can involve yourself in volunteer work, or mutual aid, or just helping others out in some other way, then absolutely do that! you can start with asking around, or searching up aid or other groups that may need extra help in your area, and go from there!!

I see a lot of people have been saying for months to organize and then absolutely no one ever explains how to organize, and if you don't plan on starting something up Yourself that is how you get involved. you find like minded people and you lend your hands. I just looked up "volunteers needed/mutual aid [insert town here]" and went off of that

and there are a lot of different places people might need assistance for. one example being food banks, pantries, are basically always accepting new donations -- if you have produce, not all of them will accept it due to safety regulations, but a local community garden might! libraries also will exchange more than books, and protecting libraries by showing involvement and interest in them is important now more than ever

local businesses, emergency aid if you have the certification, environmental work and disaster cleanup, assisted living areas, shelters, a lot of other specific areas I can't name right now. if you are physically able to seek out support and give back in turn (and if you aren't able to do one or both of these that's also okay!!) i highly highly recommend it. mutual aid especially goes both ways. do not be afraid to reach out for help, that is what they're there for

speaking of libraries!

#2: KEEP INFORMED

this can refer to a lot of different things, but on a federal and local level it is never ever ever a bad thing to keep up to date with what's going on. anyone trying to do bad things on a government level is relying on you not noticing or staying uninformed in the invent that you do notice. keep track of what's going on in your area and plan accordingly!!

keeping up with the news (and fact checking, always, because journalism isn't always ethically practiced), finding where your local city hall or equivalent is and staying up to date on local legislation, has always been important for safety and especially is right now. know how to determine a reliable source from an unreliable one, and know how to pick apart the difference between fact and misconstrued ideas spoken as fact. I'll probably make a post on that too at some point and link it here when I'm done

it is overwhelming to hear just how much is getting worse so quickly, but it's crucial that you don't allow yourself to become unaware, because that makes you easier to lie to. you do not have to work yourself to burnout or to a breakdown, please take breaks whenever you need to and put your own health first!!

but don't do yourself the disservice of not knowing what's happening around you. I want everyone to be as safe as they can, and to be safe you have to be informed

#3: FIND SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO (AND ALSO KEEP CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE EVEN IF IT'S IN SMALL WAYS)

staying up to date on current events has been overwhelming for me, but it also has helped me to maintain a sense of control in my life. and there are a lot of other ways to do that, too, and also give you sources of happiness and things to still look forward to! I'm listing what works for me but I'm sure there's infinitely more ways to pull that off

taking up or getting back into hobbies or interests is a very effective way to keep joy in your life, and this goes double if you're sort of stuck in your house like I am most days. you should get to do things that make you happy!! you deserve to still have things to look forward to!!!

I've also been personally using my interests to try to learn how to do more practical things that might help me and the people I live with; I'm a gardener so I've been working on trying to grow food, starting with sweet peppers. don't know if I'll end up needing that one day (or if my neighbors might, but as the economy completely fucks itself it could get very useful very fast), but having the knowledge and the means helps me feel more in control of what happens in my personal life, and it really has made me feel better and have a source of hope

I really hope that everyone who sees this is doing as well as they're able right now. saying all of this because I don't want to contribute to any ideas of complete hopelessness, if that makes sense. there are things worth getting up in the morning for and every one of you matters and you deserve to be happy. and I love you /p

even if you aren't utilizing your hobbies in that way (again, PERFECTLY fine, do what you need to forever), something like that might be useful for you, too! you can learn new skills or read up on all those things you already wanted to look into but kept putting off, you can carve out a little space in your world for Joy and for Whimsy if you don't have one already! it's good for you!! it's incredible in fact!!