#i dont like this but whatever. im tired
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ultimately i think my insistence on aro positivity honestly is as much a political stance as a personal one.
when i say aro positivity is crucial and that i dislike doomer-ist posts that express sentiments like 'I hate being aro so much I wish I was dead instead’ it's not because I don’t think there can and should be a space for negativity and acknowledging self-hate, or the many ways being aromantic can really suck sometimes. i find that to be very important!
that being said. there is smth here about how self-hate posts are sometimes just arophobia that we inflict on ourselves. and when we put that out into the ether it (intentionally or not) can become arophobia that we inflict on other members of the community. i think there absolutely needs to be a place for negativity and the expression of anger and frustration and self loathing even - these are all good things to talk about because these are things that we experience. that being said, it can also be genuinely upsetting and triggering to people to have what is essentially arophobia shown to them and then have that be validated by other aspec people. your personal thoughts can affect your wider community on a level you may not anticipate. and i understand it i truly do! it took me so long to be able to recover from accepting being aroace - it threw my entire world off kilter and made me question everything about my place in the world.
but my insistence on aro joy and positivity is because ultimately i do believe that building is at the core essence of it all. that ultimately discussions and the purpose of community should be about construction, not destruction. and this is both a personal and a political stance. talking about how much you hate yourself and cultivating online discussions/spaces where negativity about aspec identity is the main and only theme is destructive - if that’s where we let the conversation end. these thoughts can and should be used as a vehicle to look for a path forward!
joy and positivity create a space where the focus can become on forging a path forward, on construction, on community building instead of tearing ourselves and others down with negative thoughts. it’s not productive or healthy when it stops at a place of negativity - it becomes actively destructive to the essence of community.
and i do think that this is especially poignant considering the fact that being any kind of queer, but especially aromantic (and/or asexual) means forging a path for yourself and making your own happiness where there is no obvious way forward. our communities exist mostly online (right now, anyway), there is little recognition of our existence in the real world, the effects of amatonormativity are both pervasive and actively dehumanising, and there are legal, economic and social structures in place actively making our lives more difficult. yes that all sucks! it’s good to acknowledge that. we need to in order to change it. but more importantly, that’s not the end. we are still here and our happiness, our future is for us to determine. even if we can’t change the laws or society, loving yourself and understanding aromanticism as a political identity (as well as personal), as a radical worldview, and as a protest against amatonormativity is essential for both community and personal well being. the personal is political.
tldr. i guess my point is that as a community, we should focus on building, improving, and nurturing ourselves and each other (construction) as opposed to destruction. we should recognise aromanticism and asexuality as political identities as well as personal ones and rely on community and self-love in the absence of anything else as a form of protest and political power. destruction (the recognition of everything that is wrong) is essential as a starting point - but where do we go from there? we rebuild.
#aromantic#aro positivity#aspec#aroace#aro#aromantic joy#arospec#when i saw its important to 'love' yourself - pls understand i am in no way trying to exclude loveless aros from this#that was just the easiest way to express what i meant! when i say 'love' i mean positivity/respect/happiness. etc. i just used that word bc#it works for ME which is why i said it. but feel free to replace it with whatever works for you! <2#also sorry if not everything im saying makes total sense i tried my best#this is something ive been thinking about for a while and have been struggling to articulate#i maybe should have read some theory for this abt community building but im too tired + overwhelmed w school reading right now so sorry.#if anyone has additions on that front though please do add them#also ngl im kinda scared to post this. i hope i explained what i mean well enough. like i get wanting to vent and express self hate BUT.#there is nuance to this and it is not unilaterally healthy i think. also i dont see any other online community fostering the normalisation#of selfhate the way the aspec one does! which makes me feel weird abt it especially.#anyway. this is basically my personal philosophy towards aromanticism#mossy posts#⚙️
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Im out early and drew ROXY.!
#homestuck#roxy lalonde#rox lalonde#homestuck fanart#homestuck art#hs art#hs fanart#because i need to draw some postitivw things#apparently#i dont like ir that much but whatever im tired
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One of my first digital pieces (2010) versus one of my recent ones (2024)
We all start somewhere!
#picked these cause they're in a similar pose lol. i mean not at all. but sort of... more than my other art at least...#oh fuck im so tired im saving this to drafts and coming back later#my anxiety meds wipe me the fuck out so im trying not to take them in the day#and they're like legit borderline a sleeping med for me. i take one and in 30 mins im OUT.#so I'm. i mean i was already only taking 1-2 in the day and then 2-3 at night#anyways it makes me sad when people say they dont have an artistic bone in their body#and especially when they say they could never draw like me :(#dont put yourself down to lift me up! i don't want my art to be used for you to be mean to yourself!!!#lots of experiences of people comparing themselves to me and being mean to themself...#feels bad. it's okay if you're slow it's okay to be learning it's okay!!!#I'm me and you're you and we're here to learn from each other. i just wanna hang out..#y'know what I'm just gonna post without saying anything i WILL forget I made a draft#i have so many things i intend to post and then forget#it's a wonder I post anything#i only do it when i get bored. and run out of stuff to scroll through#like whelp. guess if i want a post I have to make one myself.#also the second one is really good idc that it's a study i still drew it#art growth#this was in 2010 btw#i started highschool in 2011#I've grown a lot and you can too.#also I've never really been one to dislike my old art. like idk I was trying... if it's bad I just won't look at it whatever#like i wouldn't be mean to someone else who made that so i don't get a free pass to be mean just cause it's to me#man my thoughts are bungled. okay sleep time#if my phone made typos you didn't see it
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when you first start the cousland origin, you can have some conversations with arl howe, teyrn cousland, and duncan that shed some interesting light on the political situation in ferelden. it’s definitely the origin where you get the most context on the rebellion and on cailan and his father. while howe isn’t exactly the most trustworthy of sources, he is also one of the most openly critical of cailan that we have access to, which i think is worthy of interest
howe remembers maric with what the toolset describes as “genuine fondness”: “your father hasn’t spoken of our time with him? that man took care of his friends. as they say, he was large as life and twice as tall!” i think we should pay particular attention to that man took care of his friends.
what howe’s talking about is a really important aspect of kingship, where you win the consent and enthusiasm of the nobility for your rule by offering rewards like wealth, land, and prestige to the loyal. kingship is always less stable than it’s portrayed, and this is one of the ways that kings must essentially sell to the nobility that answering to them is worth their time, which would be especially important in ferelden given everything we know about its culture. fereldans believe someone only has power when it is given by the loyalty of those below them, who have the right to freely rescind that loyalty. the dao codex says that “the sight of [fereldan kings] asking for—and working to win—the support of ‘lesser’ men is a source of constant wonder to foreign ambassadors.”
i suspect howe is remembering a maric fresh from the victories of the rebellion, who was able to reward those who had followed him with the spoils of those victories. at the end of the stolen throne, we see that in the final days of the rebellion, maric was killing those who had betrayed his mother to the orlesians even when they arrived under truce to meet him on holy ground. in dao, we see no lingering orlesian nobility except for those who married in and continue to be met with marked hostility. i think we can safely surmise that maric elected to make no conciliatory measures and give everything to those who had followed him; with the orlesians on the run and his people out for blood, he was in a strong enough position to do so, and it certainly served to win the fond memories of men like howe.
by contrast, howe goes on to say, “it’s too bad cailan isn’t half that.” the toolset notes establish very clearly that it’s the same issue, elaborating on howe’s thoughts: “bitter turn, i don’t get as much from the current king”, and “disdainful, i have no use for him, he does me no favours”. this isn’t a minor character detail, if howe’s last words when killed by the player are anything to go by. “maker spit on you... i deserved... more...” whatever it is that howe feels he should have been given, by the crown or anyone else, it characterises his actions and his defining treachery.
it’s in these same conversations that we see another side of this demonstrated. there are two points where howe can openly criticise the king, and bryce immediately admonishes him for both. one even has the toolset note: “speaks sharply, as a lord to a lesser man, not a friend to an equal”. it definitely comes across that way; the way he tells howe “that’s enough” is not far off the voice he uses when the player, his child, displeases him. bryce can’t tolerate any criticism of cailan, as the couslands in dao are ardent supporters of the king. to venture some hc, i suspect that this is not merely royalist fervour, and that howe’s resentment for having been given less is matched by bryce’s awareness of the precariousness of having more.
over the centuries, the theirins have consolidated their power and eradicated almost all the teyrns (the noble rank that is second only to the king). with the only other lingering teyrn being loghain, who is essentially part and parcel of the royal family, the couslands stand alone as the only real rivals to theirin power within ferelden. there are rumours that bryce was once considered for king instead of the theirins; he too could have decided to believe he “deserved more”. but unlike howe, and perhaps understandably given his strong position and happy growing family, he is satisfied with what he has. he will not take the risk of even the slightest challenge being made within his hall
(i expect that bryce’s satisfaction with the current situation further spurred howe’s dissatisfaction to its heights, given the complicated cousland-howe history and the fact that he was expected to accept a friend he had fought beside as a superior for the rest of his life.)
i don’t think howe’s judgement on cailan is likely to be without basis. we don’t hear about any victories the young king has to his name, from which he could have passed around spoils. (to be fair, cailan had harder luck than maric in this regard. a king who raises a successful rebellion gets to bring glory and prestige to everyone who follows him, whereas a king trying to rebuild after that rebellion mostly gets to bring, uh, taxes probably. especially on wealthy centres of trade like howe’s amaranthine, one might assume.) cailan also takes a far more diplomatic approach to the question of orlais, which perhaps predictably did not win over many nobles of howe’s generation. it makes sense that cailan’s strongest supporters would instead be men like bryce who hope for things to simply continue, peacefully, as they are. perhaps in another world where cailan had won the battle of ostagar, he might have earned wider respect. (you could actually argue on this basis that there’s more sense and purpose to cailan’s glory-seeking than he usually gets credit for.) but howe already acts before ostagar, which can only demonstrate his certainty in cailan’s failings at this point: his belief that even if cailan could win, he would not be stable enough to pursue justice for the couslands
#i dont like first naming bryce. it made sense here but feels disrespectful#anyway i think that covers most of the thoughts i have here#possibly a lot of this is surface level and obvious but i think abt this a lot so i didnt want to assume anything#you can go on to make a point here about how howe gets land and titles left and right from loghain#because loghain is a battle strategist not equipped for rule so he’s relying on maric’s tactics#and also that land is cheap to him right now (or not a thing he HAS in order to LOSE it when he gives it away)#because theyre at civil war#there’s not a lot of foresight in it is my point its just about winning this whatever it takes and howe is easy to buy now#wouldve caused a lot of problems for anora down the line in a very different timeline maybe#ANYWAY. my point is that im *not* saying all that bc im tired and this post is finished goodbye
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i wouldn't fall for someone i thought couldn't misbehave
#ive been#picking at this for over a month#and im tired#so im posting it already#can yuo tell im sick in the head#i cant stop drawing them help#also im gonna go see hozier live in less than a week#IM SO EXCITED#and i dont think its gonna help with the hyperfixation but whatever#we die like men#good omens#good omens fanart#ineffable husbands#my art#artists on tumblr#aziracrow#aziraphale#crowley#illustration
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THIS IS A MESSAGE TO THE MALEVOLENT FANDOM: WHY DOES YOUR GUY LOOK LIKE JON FROM THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES. I CANT KEEP MALEVOLENT OFF MY DASH BECAUSE I KEEP ACCIDENTALLY INTERACTING WITH MALEVOLENT FANART THINKING ITS JONATHAN SIMS. I DONT KNOW WHAT MALEVOLENT IS. I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT IT. I DONT WANT TO. THE FANART IVE SEEN IS BEAUTIFUL SO PROPS TO YOU FOR THAT BUT IM JUST VERY CONFUSED. IS THERE SOME KIND OF FANDOM OVERLAP?? IDK HIS NAME BUT HE LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE JON. SLIGHTLY DARK SKINNED DUDE WITH MESSY MID-LENGTH HAIR AND A LOOK OF FEAR IN HIS EYES. YOU KNOW THE ONE. WHO IS HE
#I AM ADDING EVERY AUTOMATIC MALEVOLENT RELATED TAG I CAN FIND BUT BE WARNED FOR I DO NOT KNOW THEIR CONTEXTS#malevolent#malevolent creation#malevolent podcast#malevolent part 20#malevolent analysis#malevolent king in yellow#malevolent theory#malevolent thoughts#malevolent relisten#malevolent body part support group#malevolent fanart#malevolent fandom#malevolent headcanon#malevolent kayne#KANYE?? THERES A DUDE NAMED KANYE IN YALLS FANDOM?? DAMN HOPE IT AINT THE DUDE WHO LOOKS LIKE THE DUDE FROM MY FANDOM THATS A GOOFY AHH NAM#ALSO I AM AWARE THIS WILL RESULT IN MORE MALEVOLENT ON MY DASH BUT WHATEVER THE FANART IS ACTUALLY QUITE NICE TO SEE HONESTLY#YALL HAVE SKILLED ARTISTS IN YOUR REPITOURE#REPITOUUIOR IDFK I DONT HAVE A FRENCH KEYBOARD BUT YK WHAT I MEAN. YALL ARE SKILLED#malevolent doodles#malevolent cowboy au#malevolent cosplay#OKAY THATS ENO8GH IM TIRED. WILL DELETE IF THIS POST BECOMES ANNLYING FOR YALL.
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The sensation of waking up next to you ❤️💙
+bonus doodle:
…and they mimir’d happily ever after the end. ❤️
(ID under cut!)
Miles is roused from sleep by sunlight shining on his face. Slowly, his eyes adjust to the light, until finally, his scope of awareness broadens to a body he had been sleeping on.
Page 2
Miles looks up to the figure that holds him, and upon seeing, his eyes widen in recognition.
Miles looks up to the figure that holds him, and upon seeing, his eyes widen in recognition.
The bottom panel of the page shows minimal details of a window shedding light onto the bed and blankets as seen from a higher view in the room.
Page 3
On the other side of the bed, Phoenix rests, his head propped by the headboard. His hair is messy from sleep, and his expression is thoughtful. The light of the morning highlights his features.
The sun shines through the blinds of the window.
Phoenix finally notices his observer, and turns to look at him.
Page 4
Phoenix takes Miles’ hand in his, and lifts it to gently kiss the ring on Miles’ finger. They both move to share a kiss, and their hands shift to hold one another. Miles’ ring sparkles in the sunlight.
Page 5
They link their fingers as they kiss, and the morning creates a quiet atmosphere around them.
They part, but remain close, their fingers fully interlocked. Phoenix greets “Good morning,” with a tender, loving expression as he looks at Miles. Miles’ own expression is soft, unguarded, and fixed on Phoenix.
Page 6
Phoenix and Miles settle back into their shared bed; the morning sun illuminates them. They both smile softly, seeming happy and at peace. Miles rests his head under Phoenix’s neck, and his hand on Phoenix’s chest. One of Phoenix’s hands rests over Miles’ own on his chest, while his other hand holds Miles closer, revealing a matching ring of his own. Both rings shine softly in the sunlight.
Bonus image
A small simple drawing of Phoenix and Miles having fallen asleep again while holding each other as in the final page of the comic.
End ID.]
#narumitsu#wrightworth#phoenix wright#miles edgeworth#ace attorney#this is so sappy i nearly choked the entire time i was drawing it#aa#fan art#smooches#ah yes my favorite tag <3#rendevok#this is vaguely set post AA5 but i truly have no timeline in mind i just want them married#like ding DONG bitches get ur shit together aren’t u tired of pining??? it’s time to go apeshitt and furiously makeout#i’m going to start mashing them together like dolls i dont care anymore!!!#NRMTS KISS RIGHT NOW OR IM BITING BOTH OF YOU#(a win win situation for me)#anyway if you can’t tell i am deeply in love with phoenix and projecting onto miles so hard#who doesn’t love making him down horrendous for a little flavor?#image description and alt text are the same because i suck at those still#writing that out was deeply embarrassing for me bc for whatever reason writing it out is something WAY more visceral than drawing it#i wish to evaporate nobody look at me unless you want to talk about them kissiing more then my dms are open
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[Femstars Week 2024] day 3 - Summer Break
a messy doodle for today...❤️
#no ID for this one SORRY.#ill def have one for my next prompts but its been a long day and im tired#maybe ill update it with an ID later!!#femstarsweek2024#femstars#genderbend#natsume sakasaki#tsumugi aoba#enstars#ensemble stars#my art#also i dont really like how this looks but whatever.#Not everything needs to be perfect. remember this
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The Beheaded makes a pitch
#saroart#dead cells#the beheaded#the collector#bad comic#art is all over the place because holy fuck im so tired#this idea has bounced around in my head like a dvd screensaver for a long time#also the views expressed in this comic are not necessarily the views of the author#dont come at me because its good and does amazing dps or whatever i know it has high damage per tick#it can be a little annoying in dailies when you dont get cells#and i do want more boss stuff#beheaded just wants a cool sword#collector would be one of those dont talk to me until ive had my coffee assholes#but yknow its panacea#in fact that was one of the earliest pieces of dc fanart i drew#dont think i ever posted it here and thats fine#god i miss when art was easy tho
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realizing i have. a lot of untapped trauma potential for clone^2 danny because i just Fully Processed Four Months Late the fact that his parents were capturing and torturing ghosts in the basement before he became Phantom. and the fact that he was on house rest for 2 weeks. during that time period. and he wasn't really leaving the house. he could hear their screaming through the floorboards
*points at clone danny* i can give you suuuuuuch a bad time babe ahaha. i've got two untouched years before you meet damian what fucks you up before then
#dpxdc#dp x dc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc crossover#dpdc#clone^2#danny fenton is a clone#like i dont even need to traumatize you worse the pure explorative options from this aLONE is enough to feed me for a week.#like. tucks hair behind ear let me shatter you into glass pieces then glue you back together babe. i can put you back together so good.#i'm missing a few shards because some parts of you broke into such small pieces i couldn't pick them back up again so you'll be missing a#few chunks of yourself that you'll never get back but that's okay. you'll still be a resemblance of your old self :]#don't let anakin (me) listen to late night sad songs he makes angst.#hhh imagine being stuck in a house for two weeks where you can hear your parents torturing ghosts in the basement and not only that but#you're the only person who can undERSTAND the ghosts. how many times did he see his parents drag in a ghost with whatever capturing device#they made recently? iirc the thermos was like. brand new in episode one right? but gOD the trauma this alone would cause#nobody touch me im cooking rn i need to think about how this would impact danny. like obvs it would fuel into a developing obsession to#keep his parents away from ghosts and to help the dead but what *else.* i need to refine my becoming phantom ficlet i wrote back in winter#raaa#and like even after two weeks they were *still capturing ghosts* danny just wasn't in the house 24/7 at the time.#*but those two fucking weeks man*#i need to sleep on this first before i make any major moves bc i know im tired but i am having thOUGHTs
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#testing out clipstudio. sorry i dont like it. i cant find anything there#and i feel like younger version of myself who did everything in photoshop by hand#not knowing any instruments#im too tired to actually learn how to work in csp but right now i dont have anything else with me#so sticking to whatever instruments i have i guess#i miss my wife (my brushes and settings and filters)#sorry if it looks weird. im away from my pc and i only have a laptop with a really bad display and i can't see anything i do#my art#pokemon#reshiram
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me when i sing songs until the break of dawn i embrace a new man every n-
having a recognizable art style??? never heard of her. who’s that. (my art style changes every single drawing i make idk what im doing send help.)
#ride the cyclone#ride the cyclone musical#ride the cyclone fanart#rtc#rtc musical#rtc fanart#noel gruber#ride the cyclone noel#rtc noel#noel gruber fanart#rtc noel fanart#noel stopped looking like a word#...name#word name#whatever i dont know i give up im so tired man#fanart#musicals#musical theatre#musical fanart#i hate tagging things how do i do this what am i doing help#art
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i was supposed to post these ummm. whenever i did that poll eons ago. but then i didnt because i was ❤️ shy ❤️. so im dumping them all now
#not very pretty bc my cameras shite and i can only draw on notebook paper and i edit it different every time. but idc. take it or nothing#not tagging any of these characters. just some amalgamation of zoro zen genji and ocs#if u see this then its bc it was destiny. whatever dude#and if ive already posted any of these doodles before dont tell me i dont wanna know#anyways. all this to say i notice that ive been posting at least weekly this summer so thatll probably slow down now#im starting my 2nd yr of college and its really nerve wracking bc i had a really awful summer and past yr really#so unless i start posting more of my notebook doodles like this i MIGHT not post art as often as before#just a heads up#not on histus. just already tired and stressed and its only the first day#wtf... art
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never go into the notes of a post that asks people to consider why they hate specific animals so much. anyways if you think a specific animal should go extinct I will explode you 😁👍👍👍👍👍
#pig originals#IM SO TIRED OF THE 'oh i totally agree with this BUT'#ENOUGH!!! ENOUGH!!! DONT YOU HAVE ENOUGH HATRED IN YOUR HEART...#'kill them' 'we don't Need them in the environment' 'they are unnecessary' You Annoy Me And I Do Not Like You.#stop... i dont get it what makes people think we have the right to kill so many animals#why are people so gleefully discussing the nonexistence of certain bugs. you can be afraid of them whatever idgaf but LORD#stop suggesting specific insects need to die i will actually GET you!!!!!! STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#you dont even gaf about the environment you dont do your research on trophic levels and you dont do your research on#how important every animal is. and how much of a loss each extinction is.#AND REGARDLESS OF THAT WHY SHOULD YOU GAF THOSE ARE LIVING BEINGS WHY DO THEY DESERVE LIFE LESS FOR BEING BORN THAT WAY#IM GOING TO KILL SOMEONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#youre just using your discomfort with animals to justify all of them dying? what the fuck man.
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#nobody in specific - the general You ^_^#a doodley#also hi i dont wanna clutter dash with more talkys posts so im talking here#i wasnt even fixating on the hozier lyric i used to caption that other doodle but once i singled it out i cant stop thinking about it#agh...whatever keeps you around... it keeps you around....!#also i wanna make more (neopets) adopts...#and also also i started watching a ryan gosling movie i felt i would like or be impacted by and.#well im being impacted by it so far. i stopped halfway as i have become tired...i wanna go to bed ^_^#really relatable in his characters mannerisms and feelings and such so far. good lird.#gnnnn ^_^
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I got possessed again
#my laptop crashed but i managed to save this#planned to do more with this but im so tired#and i have to wake up earlier tmrw#and i wont want to continue this tmrw#i dont actually know if my understanding of shepnax is correct#im only on ep2#but like#whatever#this feels right at least now#if using statues for reference was illegal#id be sentenced for life#trying to color more so yeah#i fucking love sarnax#curse of strahdanya#sarnax of the edelwood#silas shepherd morgan#shepnax#loa#legends of avantris#also love the fact theyre all cosplaying#mikey has like????? the slayest nails ever????#AND THE FUCKING HAT#idk i love cos so fucking much#i love loa
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