#i dont like referring to myself in a way that refers to it in any other way than just saying I Am A Big Pink Furry
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weaselishmcdiesel · 3 months ago
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remember when searching for images as reference and inspiration wasnt filled with ai generated garbage
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necrogfie · 7 months ago
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how do i explain to lady aphrodite that she will have to share her altar with archangel gabriel /silly
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undergiants · 2 months ago
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I will say being a lesbian with an almost trigger response to being associated with pink is a very interesting thing.
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moodr1ng · 2 months ago
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recently been seeing (and seeking) more info on moral ocd and its like wellll it does seem like i definitely have that but talking about the stuff i obsess over w my psychiatrist feels impossible bc i cant admit to thinking about it without feeling like a horrible person, so im just gonna keep sweeping it under the rug lol....
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sea-jello · 5 months ago
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ouu i haven’t posted anything in a while cause i lowkey forgot how to draw digitally but we’re so back
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phagodyke · 4 months ago
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weekend melancholy is starting to kick in >~<
#im gonna go and do my food shop etc to keep myself busy and hopefully my 2nd meds will kick in and we'll be able to handle it together#i think i kind of do this so regularly bc my brain is just processing everything bc i dont rly have time during the week#all cool tho im doing good overall def on the up n i feel way more capable of coping emotionally which is nice. i <3 meds#also.. possibly settling on the idea that i might be agender. very tentatively. lots of experiences n thoughts coming together rn#ive been reacting in unexpected ways to a lot of gendered shit atm which has made me reconsider the way i think abt myself#but very difficult to articulate it to myself let alone anyone else. so ive been sitting with it for now until it precipitates#gender stuff has never rly affected me much or ive never been in a place to explore it which is why i havent thought abt it super hard#but im not the sort of person who needs a lot of internal exploration to figure out my identity like im v self aware tbh#and while im wildly indecisive abt most things in my life for some reason i never have been abt stuff like this. i learned abt lesbianism#like idk 9 years ago-ish and straight away was like yeah that makes sense for me. never looked back since#n similarly ive experienced forms of gender dysphoria before n just immediately dealt with it symptomatically n moved on#its never been smth to agonise abt for me like i know what makes me comfortable in my skin so theres no question abt doing it#and ik im privileged to be able to do that. and also it helps that gender for me is mostly divorced from external perceptions#+ that im v autistic so social pressures dont stick to me very well. i mean yeah i was bullied for it as a kid but i was stubborn asf#so yeah from the moment i realised i was genuinely uncomfortable/upset abt it earlier this week i was like okay. lets try this instead#its given me pretty instant relief from any distress i was feeling so far which is nice. rare respite from one of my torture labyrinths#just testing out internally whether it frames things more clearly n makes me feel more myself/at peace before i choose to stick w the idea#but not gonna do a whole coming out fanfare either way. dont think i wanna change how ppl interact w me + im still a dyke#so i dont consider it relevant to anyone else unless they share a similar understanding of gender to me. or if we're v close#ill prolly broach it w other trans friends eventually bc insert philosophers talking image. but to everyone else its business as usual#happy to play my cis-sona at work. + w new queer ppl i meet ive been introducing myself recently w mirrored pronouns instead of any/all#and i think i prefer that. virtually indistinguishable but theres smth nice abt inviting ppl to recognise me the way they do themselves#like translating + localising a non-gendered language into a gendered one... simplifying decisions abt how to perceive me#and ofc ppl are still gonna perceive me however but idc much unless we're actually friends. the rest is all a performance anyway#doubtful anyone on here ever has reason to refer to me but if u do for some reason... im freeloading off ur pronouns now btw <3#but yeahhh. much 2 think abt. i need to read more alien/ai sci fi.. non-human sentience has been such a comforting concept lately#but yea tldr i woke up one morning this week like damn im prolly agender but i have a full time job to go to rn so idc abt that#.diaries#okkkk my dex is kicking in im no longer on the verge of tears lets go get these groceries wooohoooo
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wazzuppy · 1 year ago
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i get weirdly a lot of gender euphoria and general euphoria from referring to myself as a boy, but only i'm the way where you call an animal you dont yet know the gender of a boy or would call something a little guy. which is so hyperspecific but thats just how it is
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britneyshakespeare · 11 months ago
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I love drawing in charcoal because when you're in the beginning of a work, instead of looking like something reasonable it's perfectly acceptable and natural for them to look like this
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#does that look like anybody you know#tales from diana#(c'est moi)#i was trying to redraw brian protheroe (the same pic of him as edward iv i sketched roughly--and p badly--last month)#in charcoal. bc my mom got me charcoal PENCILS for christmas instead of sticks of vine#which were what i really needed. i dont like to use pencils hardly at all#it was an utter failure. i started off by just trying to do the basic contours of his face + neck + the crown#and then after about 20-30 minutes when i had an ok start i was like ill take a break to refresh my head#went away from it for like an hour. and was like why dont i just try it w the vine#i thought i would improve it. and i suppose i could've if i had REALLY tried#but i was exaggerating the proportions and making the worse while trying to fix them. everything got larger#and i was essentially erasing EVERYTHING i started with while i was trying to even them out#so i just gave up. lol#a girl has learned to quit while she's ahead. and she learned the hard way.#but i wasn't happy to just leave off that drawing a failure wo any plans to do something else#so i went looking through my photos on my phone and found a pic from nov. 2022 that i was going to use#as a reference pic for a figure drawing assignment that i was going to use. but my professor allowed me to draw#my grandmother instead of myself. so i never did that dramatic self-portrait assignment. i did a dramatic grandmother portrait#but i did like the dramatic-lighting picture i took of myself well enough and figured i would draw it someday#im just leaving this as a started picture for now. this wasnt much work at all maybe like 15 minutes#it's an ok start.#bc of the fucked up nature of forming a charcoal drawing i have to admit i usually like my progress pictures more than my final works. lol#like they just have a sort of monstruous edge to them. lol
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dizzybevvie · 1 year ago
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character BEVelopment???
man enjoyer but only on weekends -> gay in theory???
developments, I see
(ily)
LMAOOOO FR
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captainstarburst · 2 years ago
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BTW ppl who arent human. PLEEEAAASE reach out if u ever wanna talk or chat or be friends especially talking abt that stuff id LOVE to please hit me up. i dont care what you are i just wanna make more friends with ppl who are beasts or objects or whatever
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skyllion-uwu · 11 months ago
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Am I nauseous because I'm hungry or because I triggered myself last night
#my stomach hurts and i need to eat but the idea of doing that is. ack#and i cant tell my parents why because id have to unpack so much spontaneously#like id have to explain i was on the internet before they let me make an account and that i didnt tell them when i was getting those dms#and how its basically ruined any neutrality i had towards sex because ill be fine and then BAM!#everyone else is 12 year old me and im an adult and im my abuser and im going to hurt them if i keep talking about this#just because it was only words doesnt mean it fucked everything up forever. i know back then i was aroace but didnt have the words#but i sincerely think id be just sex neutral if it wasnt for that fucking asshole and now i think about sex for too long and get sick#and i didnt say anything because i thought they were my friend and i dont know if they were 11 like they said they were or not either way#its just. im getting so much off my chest here i wish i could go back in time and tell myself to block after that first message#and i didnt say anything after i realized because i wasnt allowed to have social media and i didnt want to get in trouble over that part#fantasizing alone is one thing but as soon as someone else is involved theyre me and im that person on da and i hate it. i hate it i hate it#i hate it i hate it#is that a common thing. where you feel like youre the abuser in certain contexts even if youre nothing like them#whatever. i have physical therapy and then ask a prof if i can use him as a reference and then finish my application if he gets back to me#and then i can rot all i want#sky vents like amogus
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psychiclounge · 1 year ago
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still thinking about that "do you feel attached to your name" poll and im realizing i feel more attached to my url than my actual name LMAO its like. full first name < jay & psychiclounge on about equal footing. in "jay psychiclounge" the url is as much (if not slightly more) of a valid name as the actual name
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genderificationbeam · 2 years ago
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i do not know anything about whatever "transid" is (nor do i particularly want to learn i think, i dont understand it but as long as youre not doing material harm to people its not really my buisness)
however. if i see anyone in my notes or in the wild that is Not Black claiming all the trauma that comes with being a black person in a world that is Built Racist i am going to block report and eat with my bare hands
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emotargaryen · 8 months ago
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the sexual tension between me and putting she/they in my bio
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but-a-humble-selfshipper · 1 year ago
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Y'know something I feel in the need to confess and wait hang on.
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^ this is me talking this this is like a teen.girl talking to her crush. Ok? Anyway,
I have SUCH an issue bc Hoffman makes me SO insane like he's so fucking hot and also just beautiful and I really like him but... I cannot bring myself to see him in such a relationship w Lil Luly.
And NO Can isn't an option either ! ! Can is way too, weird. They don't fit here + he's a good person and would try to stop them and etc. But like it's just so silly bc it does show how strong the difference between R.L. and L.L. .......
Though who knows what the future could await . . .
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ranboolivesaysstuff · 1 year ago
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HEY! Just because I am now 20 I think having something to kind of re establish boundaries would be good! Considering the ones I put all those times ago have changed :D GENERAL RULES! Do not be racist, sexist, homophobic, antisemitic, ableist, or discriminatory against anyone for any reason. Please if someone is calling you out for things you have done or said, please self-reflect and take the proper steps to change or remove yourself from the community. If you see something you do not like, and it IS MADE WORSE BY BRINGING ATTENTION TO IT, THEN IGNORE IT! Bringing attention to problems that just arent really problems with either the community or me in general are not worth it! Please use common sense when thinking about what/what not to engage with! I personally wish that people in the community do NOT engage with people who just obviously do not like me! Chances are they want a reaction from it so it is MUCH better to just not argue with someone whos mind you will not change! ALLOW CRITICISM OF ME AND MY CONTENT! IF YOU DONT AGREE OR DONT LIKE THEN DO NOT ARGUE ABOUT IT!!!! ALL IT WILL DO IS CAUSE UNESSICARY DRAMA!!! DO NOT make ANY comments or content about me that is explicitly sexual. I completely understand that lately there have been bits due to the changes in how I’ve been presenting myself and how I’ve been presenting more femininely, but that does not allow anyone to use that as an excuse to sexualize any features and such that are more feminine or masculine. Remember that femininity is not sexual and should not be seen or created as such just because its there! (for example, the Vtuber costume and chat being overly weird over the added boobs where there was no need for it). DO NOT draw me in ways that are sexual either, such as highlighting any aspects in a sexual way, or making the content something sexual. I am completely okay with being drawn as any body type, masculine presenting or feminine presenting, as long as you stick to this! PLEASE DO NOT SPECULATE ABOUT MY PERSONAL LIFE!!! Making jokes about certain topics CAN be fine, but a line is crossed when it becomes a legitimate speculation or if a joke is said when I have expressed my discomfort! RESPECT MY FRIENDS!!! All of my friends are their own, incredible people. And they do not deserve to be lumped in or referred to as JUST "my friend". Be respectful in their chats even when im not there, and be respectful to all of them everywhere else! IF SOMEONE IS TRYING TO INFORM YOU THAT YOU MAY BE DOING SOMETHING WRONG PLEASE LISTEN!!! There has been a lot of times in which I have seen people be unwilling to change in the face of a genuine discussion, and that is not something I want in the community! I should NOT have to police every single thing because it should NOT take me saying something in order to change your mind! As my words are not worth more or less when it comes to a lot of subjects! And lastly, do good. Whenever you have the ability to. BE POSITIVE!!! The hater mindset is very draining and can be very toxic to both you and the people around you, so highlight the good instead of the bad if you have the ability to! I am so incredibly proud of how far this community has come, and I cannot wait for the future!!! I have spent some time writing this, but it may not be perfect, so I will update this as time goes on and I think of more, or if something needs to be SUPER cleared up, but for now these are the main ones! I will NOT be updating this after every little thing however, as I do not want you guys to feel like the only way that something is wrong is if I talk about it! As you guys should be able to sustain yourself as a community without my consistent input! Imma go enjoy my birthday by eating a pizza :) thank you all!
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