#the need to do it - i do inform myself abt how to do my best to pray to her and all tho !! and i do use stuff from hellenist to do it tho << /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[necrogfie]

how do i explain to lady aphrodite that she will have to share her altar with archangel gabriel /silly

[damagedcoda6669]

this is stupid

lets talk about this dumb ask for a minute. (leaving them anonymous so they dont get SLAUGHTERED)

ive gotten a handful of comments on my youtube video accusing me of the exact same things, so im gonna use this as an opportunity to teach you HOW NOT TO ACT TOWARDS CREATORS ONLINE. first of all, my financial situation is NONE of your business. i will establish that i pay rent, i have an income, i help synni out financially, but i dont owe you ANY of that information. making an assumption about my private life and then using said assumption to demonize me is exactly the kind of behavior exhibited by the internet growing up which ruined my childhood. you are making an assumption about me and using it to victimize synni and demonize me, two people who you have NEVER MET and in reality you know next to NOTHING about. stop making me out to be the bad guy in every situation, it goes to show that you have learned nothing from my video and are continuing the cycle of birdie hate for no good reason.

second of all, this is fucking ableist. assuming im mooching off of my best friend and being lazy because i happen to be disabled and mentally ill? fuck off. there is no "you need to get your act together" youre not my fucking parent, and also??? i need to get my act together??? you mean stop being disabled??? wtf are you on about??? synni chooses to vent about her financial situation, but i choose to keep that part of my life private. me and synni are in the exact same boat. you know NOTHING about me. for all you know i could be working a 9 to 5 like everybody else, but you never considered that possibility because im disabled. i did say in my video "fuck work" but guess what? people who have jobs also dont like working. synni has expressed the same "fuck work" rhetoric but instead of treating her as manipulative and evil in this situation you make her out to be a victim. we all know why youre talking about me the way that you are.

third of all, its not my fault synni is working 24/7??? its not my fault we're poor??? did you ever consider the economic climate rn??? or think to blame capitalism for making us need to work all of our lives only leaving us with a few hours to ourselves, barely surviving and scraping by? but of course, you dont want a rational answer to why synni and i are suffering financially. the internet always wants somebody to throw under the bus, and it will always be me because you will always see me as a mentally ill dangerous freak. think for yourself, unpack your own ableism. its exhausting.

OKAY BACK 2 NORMAL JACK MODE srry 4 writing a whole bible abt this, i feel VRY strongly abt this. my disabilities have been effecting me so badly ive been considering getting a wheelchair. (dont forget im physically disabled as well!!!) its not FUN 2 not be able 2 do the same things every1 else can (and it certainly isnt fun 2 have 2 explain that 2 ppl who dont care enough 2 understand) but i will never stop advocating 4 myself, becuz i never had any1 2 do that 4 me when i was a kid

[hollowed-theory-hall]

re.: the weasleys + parenting

what's always bugged me most abt percy's fight with arthur (especially in the fandom, where everyone's like 'oh, he turned his back on harry and betrayed his family to side w the ministry) is that. that's hardly what the fight is about at all. the fight is about the fact that percy, an 18yo kid who just got promoted to his dream job instead of straight up losing any chance at ever being Minister (because they tried to scapegoat him into taking the blame for the crouch business even though he managed to keep the whole department running while his boss wasn't even there), comes home all excited to tell his parents that "Hey, he's not unemployed and bereft of any and all hope for his biggest dream", but rather that his skills and competence got recognized by The Most Important Man In The Government, and molly and arthur look him straight in the face and go—"no you didn't."

there is no mention whatsoever that they even try to be gentle about it, that they congratulate him first and then bring it up later like "just be careful around Fudge, he's always looking for people to get information from and you are the best of both worlds, close to the action and actually good at the job he hired you for", nothing of the sort. they straight up don't even consider how any of those factors might've weighed in Fudge's decision to hire him.

and, perhaps worst of all, they have no faith in Percy. he tells them "I'm working for the minister", and not only do they not spare a second to be happy for him over this frankly momentous achievement (or at the very least concern for the position it puts him in), they jump straight to conjectures and accusations. "you only got this because of Harry" has got to crush Percy, who was raised to believe that good things come to honest, hard-working people and who has been working for this since he was a small child. and it digs the knife deeper when you realize that most of his siblings have basically replaced him with Harry. Harry, who also plays Quidditch and also keeps throwing himself into death-defying dangers and overalls fits much better into the family dynamic than Percy ever has.

and there's just this. crystal clear implication that they do believe Percy would spy on them. he's so Different and Other and Un-Weasley/Gryffindor-like and they've alienated themselves from him so absolutely that they can't see any reasons he wouldn't willingly and consciously jeopardize his parents' livelihood and Harry & his siblings safety just to stay in the Minister's good graces, when if anyone's actually at risk of losing their job for siding with Dumbledore is his father, who's still working there quite merrily and continues to so for a long time afterwards.

Percy, who runs into a freezing lake mid-February while attending an international event as Crouch's replacement to make sure Ron is alright, who pesters Ginny to eat and have a pepper-up potion most of her first year bc she doesnt look well, who tails Harry and Ron a lot of their second and third years bc there's something petrifying kids and then Dementors on the grounds and a mass murderer on the loose and they all just think he's being willfully bothersome like no you idiots he's worried.

of course he left. of course he left. what did he have to gain by staying at the Burrow, beyond fresh home cooked meals harassment and disagreements? why wouldn't he leave?

sorry I have a lot of feelings about this.

No need to apologize, this is brilliantly written!

I don't even feel like I need to add anything as you summed up the Percy situation perfectly.

But I can't help myself because I love discussing the Weasley family dynamics, so it's a bit more rumbley than my usual...

Percy cares so much for his family. When Voldemort is revealed and the war actually starts, he puts all his disagreements with his parents aside to come and help and make sure they're okay, because he cares. And still, he is being shunned and treated like an outsider.

Arthur and Molly Weasley are just really good at alienating their kids because it isn't just Percy.

Somehow all of them succeded in feeling like outsiders in a family of 9. Bill shows frustration with his parents and only returns to Britain because of the war, Charlie's in Romania for most of the series. Fred and George run away the moment they can and are treated like trouble by their parents most of the time (Molly and Arthur assume they are selling stolen goods from Mundungus when they hear they have money, not that they, idk, somehow earned it), Ron has a whole complex of low self-esteem and a tendency to blame himself for everything. Ginny is isolated from her brothers as the only girl and youngest...

And Percy cares and tries to be the best and most responsible sibling and gets scorned in turn.

Harry and Ron do acknowledge Arthur's and Molly's accusation towards Percy was awful and that he was right to respond negatively in OOTP. Ron is just sensitive about their family's financial state which soured Percy to him after Percy blew up at their dad (rightfully so, honestly, I'd say way worse to Arthur if it was me).

The thing is, Percy also gets scorned by his siblings, not just his parents (like Fred and George do). He gets grief for trying to be responsible and for wanting his siblings to do well in school and not get in trouble, Fred and George lock him in a pyramid...

That being said, do I think Percy is perfect? No, he is pretentious and overbearing at times, but he is a child in a large family who tries to find a place to fit himself in. According to child psychology, usually when it comes to siblings, the eldest would usually (at least in childhood) try to be everything the parents want (Bill), and then each next sibling will carve a different niche for themselves, and we see this with the Weasleys. I think the twins being born right after Percy and demanding a lot of attention from their parents from a young age as they were little troublemakers from the start is a big reason why Percy chose the niche of being bookish, ambitious, and responsible for himself. To contrast himself with them and his older brothers and get some attention from their parents.

I'm not a fan of the epilog (like everyone), but I find it hard to imagine Percy being close to his family post-books. I think he never fully got over the sting of not being seen as skilled and competent and that his parents believed he'd turn on them all without a second thought. Nor do I think he should just get over it.

Like, I'm really salty that Percy was the only one to apologize:

“I was a fool!” Percy roared, so loudly that Lupin nearly dropped his photograph. “I was an idiot, I was a pompous prat, I was a—a—” “Ministry-loving, family-disowning, power-hungry moron.” said Fred. Percy swallowed. “Yes, I was!” “Well, you can’t say fairer that that,” said Fred, holding out his hand to Percy. Mrs. Weasley burst into tears. She ran forward, pushed Fred aside, and pulled Percy into a strangling hug, while he patted her on the back, his eyes on his father. “I’m sorry, Dad.” Percy said.

(Deathly Hollows, pages 512-513)

Like, yes, it's great he was smart enough to realize the ministry is corrupt, but this demand only for him to apologize when Molly and Arthur Weasley were just as much in the wrong. Fred and George weren't beacons of sainthood here either. But none of them have apologies demanded of them. None of them are demanded to confess they are "morons". Just Percy.

Who even after his apology is still an outsider. Probably always will be one.

You said it best: "Why wouldn't he leave?"

And that's what we see him do (if temporarily).

[lotusmi]

The faith challenge <3

This is a small manifesting/void challenge I made for myself that helped me to manifest my dream life.

Aimed for people that overconsume or overcomplicate getting their desires.

Note: you know enough! you have overconsumed enough information. stop now, its time to finally get what you want!

If you overcomplicate things, you probably listen to subs for hours, affirm 10,000x every hour, etc. You view them as things you must do to get your desires. But remember, you are not doing this to get results in 3d, you are doing this to fulfil yourself inwardly. Its like you have your hair down and your looking in the mirror. You cannot change the hairstyle in the mirror, right? leave the mirror and change your hairstyle. (fulfill your desire inwards), and the mirror(3d) must reflect that.

The actual challenge:

Read/listen to edward art's though false lecture. ONCE. ONLY. ONCE!! aim to truly understand what he is saying. this lecture is all you need. After that, delete your tumblr. unsubscribe to manifestation ppl on youtube. no more information for u.

No affirmations, no subliminals, no scripting, no visualizing. (unless you're doing it just because it helps make you feel fulfilled. you dont have to do them!!! preferably stop all methods.)

you will write your own rules on a slip of paper. ex. 'my manifestions must come within 3 days because i said so and i make the rules', 'everything must always work in my favour'. keep it simple. it doesn't matter what anyone else said, make the rules however u want!

you will stick to those rules. you will just know that everything in your reality has to abide by your rules. do nothing else.

Wavering is fine. if you waver, no jumping back to tumblr to overconsume information. simply ask your inner self for confirmation. your inner self will always say 'yes u have ur desires!'

idc about your 3d. you are under no obligation to accept those circumstances as true, your imagination is the only true reality anyway. don't complain abt how bad ur circumstances are, because one well known blogger here grew up in in extremely abusive situation, was tossed from foster care to foster care, was searching for shelter at night because the abuse was too much. she wavered just like u. And yet, she did it! she changed her entire life. drastically. and you can too.

TLDR:

listen to edward art's though false lecture ONCE.

delete tumblr and all manifestation related stuff. do not do methods.

write your own rules

stick to them

fulfill urself inwardly only.

!!!success story + amazing challenge! oh, anon! You are amazing! 💐💌🌷

This ask is beautiful, this is so well done and the whole post is so well written, organized, and helpful! Omg, you are a real angel! I am so happy that you did it, and even more happy to receive an ask from someone kind like you, I appreciate you so much, I know this will help a lot of people. Congrats for your own journey and success! Please know that you are an amazing soul, and I wish you all the best and so much love, you deserve to live all the happiness! ...🌷💗

The Faith Challenge! <3

꒱This challenge is perfect for you that are overconsuming or overcomplicating the law and want to leave this cycle, manifesting your dream life! Everyone, let's appreciate this anon work! 𓆩♡𓆪

💐💐 those flowers are for you, my dear Faith anon!

[airytaurus]

observations on each venus sign coming from a taurus venus🫧🫀.

aries venus: for me I feel like they’d be too much too keep up with honestly lol but I would love having someone who isn’t afraid to speak their mind and say something when they need to. I also would love how adventurous and fun they are because even tho I am an earth venus I cannot stand being in a boring/dry relationship (that’s my 9h venus speaking also)

taurus venus: I feel like we’d really vibe or get along of some sort but also many hiccups considering the fact we’re both earth signs and want things our own way but besides that I feel like the loyalty would be matched depending on the house and aspects they tbh but definitely the person I would love too go shopping with and restaurants to just have fun

gemini venus: ok Ik this placement is very controversial too some but I think they would be the best partners/people too have in my circle realistically I would love someone who is constantly down to do anything, flirty , funny asf and very communicative about Ik and any topic. I would definitely not get bored being around them I just love gemini venus in my life because Ik we would never be bored/dry and me being easily bored and always wanting stuff to do/talk about gemini is my first choice<33OH AND PLUS VERY VERY OBSERVANT AND THOUGHTFUL.

cancer venus: they’d be the type too get easily jealous but passive aggressive, I feel like we would kind of get along but I’m 100% we would at the same time especially with cancer being ruled by the moon and a water sign my scorpio moon would love someone like that like just the deep conversations and understanding of eachother would be immaculate. But also someone who reciprocates the energy for me like I do for them yess plsss gimme them!!!! I don’t know many cancer Venuses personally but this is just my general observation.

leo venus: I’ve seen and been around a very few leo Venuses and they are loyal to the core , I think we would get along great but have some hiccups because with leo being all about them and what they need or what I could never settle down with them but I feel like the love and affection would be matched for the most part.

virgo venus: don’t know abt virgo Venuses that much either but from observation I feel like they’d be pratical and helpful in any situation especially when I need advice about people or something I just know they’d provide me with all their observations and information about the person in question. As for a dating type I feel like idk we’d get along but have some hiccups especially since they would be all about routine and perfection but my aquarius 6th just wouldn’t vibe with that , like I said I would have to observe the person first tho.

libra venus: I would say we’d be good friends all about aesthetics , communication and quality time is just my love language as well. But the indecision I mean I’m indecisive asf my self so I can’t say too much because that would talking about myself loll I’ve observed libra venus and they seem like very passive aggressive people when in love unless they really bond/vibe with you.

scorpio venus: my sister sign lmaoo I would say no not really because of the possessiveness and obsession I could not stand someone asking a ton of unnecessary questions and being a weird person when I want to talk or hangout with someone else. But I love the loyalty they would bring to the table and just turn bring thoughtful , deep and meaningful conversations/gestures they would do simply because they are genuine and care.

sagittarius venus: ok I same thing for I said for gemini venus just having someone to go on adventures with and explore it just sounds like 😀🤌. Plus I love when people are positive and optimistic so definitely the people I would love to have reminding me too never give up and too keep going , I feel like the reason why I think we’d be a good match is because I’m a 9H venus myself so that could be very biased but at the same time awesome. Along with us learning foreign languages and talking about our beliefs/opinions without being judged means a lot to me yea we’d have our disagreements but other than that the love and passion would be mutual.

capricorn venus: pragmatic and mature people>> I would love to have someone who is mature in love and knows how to love , or know what it means to be in committed relationship!! Along with knowing their boundaries and where they stand is a huge green flag for me. Along with being ambitious and goal-oriented I AM ALL ABOUT HAVING GOALS AND AMBITIONS so people who know what to do in the future and has a plan they have all my love and support and Ik they’d support my goals and ambitions as well.

aquarius venus: hmm very interesting and intelligent people are the best I would definitely love for them too tell me random shit they know or some shit that they know especially if it’s something that only they know about. I feel like they could tell me anything weird/awkward and I would listen for HOURSS but also people who are concerned for other people’s wellbeing and how to help the community is something that would grab my attention so fast along with them being very futuristic , eccentric I think my weirdness wouldn’t be judged at all.

pisces venus: the type of people that I could go to a art or music festival with and someone who is just really and deeply in-tune with their emotions. I really love people who are passionate and are willing to share/express their emotions without shame or feeling like they’d be judged.

(This is just based off of opinions and observations so don’t take anything personal)

[lycandrophile]

hey, sorry idk if its ok for me to ask for advice here, but im really lost and dont know where else to go.

i might be starting testosterone really soon, (via informed consent) but i keep flipping back and forth on whether or not i'm sure i want it. some days i think, "yes 100% im a man i want T right now" and thinking abt the effects of T makes me euphoric. other days i think, "wait AM i sure tho? what if it turns out i hate it actually" and thinking abt the effects of T on those days makes me anxious and ambivalent.

i think it might be just a fear of change, but i'm not sure, and i'm worried about making a decision i'll regret forever. it doesnt help i keep seeing ppl say things like "you need to be 100% sure you want hrt before u start because going back and forth puts a huge strain on the body" etc, but i dont know if i ever will be 100% sure.

what do you make of this? do i really need to be 100% sure? am i rushing in too fast? or is this just anxiety talking?

i spent years agonizing over if i was really sure that i wanted to start t, and you know what it taught me?

no one is ever 100% sure about anything. it’s an impossible task. that’s just not how people work — you’re always going to find more things to be anxious or unsure about when you think about it because it’s an unknown thing and it’s completely natural to be at least a little unsure of unknown things.

and most of the time, nobody expects you to be 100% sure about big decisions because we all know it’s an unfair expectation. nobody told me i couldn’t go to college because i wasn’t 100% sure where i wanted to go. nobody tells you to never drive anywhere because you’re not 100% sure that the car won’t crash. accepting risk is a part of life. trusting ourselves to make the best decisions we can — and trusting ourselves to be able to handle whatever happens next — is an unavoidable part of life.

the only reason we’re held to that impossible standard of 100% certainty when it comes to medically transitioning is because people are transphobic and they want us to second guess ourselves and put off hormones or surgery out of fear. if everyone waited until they were 100% sure, no one would ever transition, and that’s exactly what they want.

i look at it like this: hormones are like any other medication. you take them because you decide they have a good shot at making your life better even though there’s also a chance they might be ineffective, have bad side effects, or even make things worse in the end. we accept that risk every time we take a medication because we weigh the options and decide the good that could come of them is worth that risk. imagine if doctors only offered medical care to people when they were 100% sure it would work and not have any side effects — they would never do anything at all!

i can’t tell you if hrt is right for you. i can’t tell you if the risk is worth it for you. what i can tell you is that, when i was unsure about what to do, there were two things that made me decide it was worth the risk:

the first is that i knew i wanted to give myself a chance. the idea of going on hormones only to get more dysphoria from it sounded terrifying, but the reality was that i was already living with dysphoria! and the idea of just accepting that because i was afraid to try the thing that could make it better was even more terrifying. at the end of the day, i decided it was better to choose the option that could make things better than it was to just spend the rest of my life wondering if it would’ve helped. the worst case scenario in both choices is dysphoria, so i figured, why not pick the option where the best case scenario is euphoria? i know dysphoria is something i can live with because i’ve been doing it for years, so i felt that i could trust myself to be able to deal with that outcome if it came. i knew it was possible that i would regret it and wish i had never started t, but i also knew i would regret it even more if i went my whole life never having given myself a chance at something better than the dysphoria i already live with. i figured, if i have to take a risk, why not take the one that excites me instead of the one i would just be taking out of fear?

the second is that hormones are fucking slow. there can be some changes that happen fast but for the most part, the changes on t take time to happen fully, and if i wanted even more time i knew i could take a lower dose to slow things down further. it’s not like you just wake up one day with a totally different body — it’s a process, and if at any point in that process you realize you don’t like what’s happening, you can stop! you’re completely in control; the second it starts to feel like it’s making something worse instead of better, you can decide to stop taking it. even with the changes that came quickest for me, i had time to assess as they started happening, and it would’ve been as simple as putting down the syringe and never using it again if i decided i didn’t want those changes to continue.

(and the people who say you can’t start and stop because of the strain on your body are exaggerating — i had to start and stop multiple times because i was having allergic reactions to all of the serums we tried, and i was totally fine. that was never even a concern my nurse brought up to me. i’m sure it’s not ideal to do that constantly, but i don’t think it’s a big thing you have to worry about.)

again, i can’t tell you if starting t is the right move for you. all of this is just how i made that decision for myself; i can’t make yours for you. what i can tell you is that you are more than capable of making a thoughtful and informed decision without being 100% sure. certainty is not a requirement.

and frankly, anyone who tells you they were 100% sure when they made that decision is either lying about it because they feel like they should’ve been totally certain, or they were in a position to make the decision so quickly that it didn’t leave time to mull things over and find things to be unsure of.

which leads me to my final point: if you’re thinking about it this hard and trying to be this meticulous about making the right decision, you’re absolutely not rushing into it. whatever decision you make, you’ve clearly put a lot of thought into it and that’s all anyone can ask of you.

this is your decision, not anyone else’s, and already you have everything you need to make the best decision you possibly can. trust yourself to choose wisely, and trust yourself to be able to handle whatever your choice brings. you got this.

[valorascult]

Hello dear, i stumbled upon your lack mindset vs abundant mindset post and I needed to share something about me.

So at 8. of lack mindset you wrote "not sharing knowledge". This really shook me. Growing up I've been a real Mama's girl, and she would always tell me to never help out friends,or don't share my notes with them, not tell them information abt class, and that my friends only talk to me because they want something from me.

As i grew up, (I'm a senior at college now) I've seen that this mindset actually made me unable to view any of the relationship in my life as genuine and im always scared people will take advantage of me.

I always thought a lack mindset meant something related to money or poverty. But your post really made me see a different perspective. I'm living in a lack mindset?

I'm trying to get out of this mindset, please do you have advices or suggestions for me?

Hello! First, its a huge step already understanding and acknowledging your programming of immediate distrust. Building trust starts with empathy, if you understand your emotions thoroughly, you are more than likely able to understand others and navigate conversations / connections better rather than hyper analyzing. Understand that trust doesn’t have to be immediate and it is a gradual process. There is no need to share your whole being with people you have only known for a few weeks / months but building trust is where it starts. You can do this by engaging in tasks with people you want to be close with, a task where you are both able to be put in a vulnerable position so that you are both bonding and you are able to understand the way they operate on a deeper level / they are also able to understand you. Having a daily grounding routine is also extremely effective, everything around us operates best on the frequency of love so opening your heart via meditation, self care, spending time with nature, etc;. can really open your body up to receiving and working in love / acceptance with others. I, personally would start there and allow myself to feel one with the world. The key here is to unlearn defense mechanisms. The moment you feel yourself leaning towards immediate distrust is when you are able to also look at it from a different reality and understanding - allow the mind and gut to team up and make the better conclusions. I cannot speak for all but most people DO seek genuine connections with others but they are unsure how. I have also dealt with distrust and held back from making genuine connections, it is not an uncommon practice. When you start to believe there is a form of distrust in someone, you can as yourself, if you must, ‘is there any evidence to support this statement?’. And often, there is not. Many do not have malicious intentions, we are all just trying to survive and dive deeper into connections with others and that’s where empathy gets involved. We do it have to fully understand others and they do not have to understand every part of you and that’s okay - but, we should open our hearts a little deeper to understanding others. You absolutely should have boundaries, allowing trust does not get rid of the boundaries you have set for yourself but understand that others have boundaries too and creating a space where mutual respect is given should be most important. You can share emotions / experiences gradually, it does not have to be in an instant. Putting yourself in uncomfortable positions with others can also build trust with them because it allows their guard to come down a little and have you also open up. I’m typing a lot but if you ever have any other questions or questions / statements related to this, you can always message me directly as well xo.

[xstarlightxstarbrightx]

Kaeya headcanons

i'm speedrunning this before work while my breakfast is cooking so BEAR WITH ME, i have SO MANY thoughts on my bbgrl

current list of h/c's: - ice skater kaeya, i will die on this hill. will have a post abt that one day b/c there's so much to it that i want to scream abt and Thoughts (tm) to be had (like him getting flustered??? OUGH i need to restrain myself) - speaking of flustered, he's really good at keeping his cool (pun fully intended, fight me) and he typically is the one who CAUSES the flustering. smooth af and KNOWS it - he likes to cause chaos and mayhem. a bit of a gremlin. mischievous man. perhaps a tad prankster in his bones. playful teasing bastard and has a lot of fun w/ it. - cold hands. nothing more. - when push comes to shove, Kaeya's the guy w/ the plan. like genuinely he's incredibly strategic and has the main plan, and like two or three back up plans. it's not even like an anxiety thing he just wants to be prepared, and he makes them up pretty last minute. - he's kind of an assassin-style character, y'know? not as much of a main fighter as he is a sneaky backstabber. roguish and charming but can and will yeet u type deal right??? - LOYAL to a GODDAMN FAULT. i TRULY believe this man's loyalty is unshakeable. like he'd do anything to the people he cherishes the most. and if he perceives u as a threat??? a threat to the things he cares about?????? ur on the list now and there's no escape. - incredibly perceptive! like he's really good at getting information from people already, but i feel like that just makes it a lot easier for him to notice when Something Is Up. it's hard to catch him unawares. - kaeya's great and i love him but he doesn't love himself and i'm sorry this man definitely feels like he's got really bad self esteem. Like he KNOWS he can get shit done, but he has a hard time believing that anyone likes him and probably has trust issues b/c of it. - i also feel like he doesn't like the spotlight? like specifically Kaeya; if he needs to put on a persona for the spotlight, it doesn't phase him bc he's good at hiding behind a persona. but the moment Actual Kaeya gets spotlight he's like a bit of a mess and nervous and would just rathe people enjoy themselves. essentially just doesn't want the spotlight. - abandonment issues. i don't need to explain this one. - kaeya puts on the air of an anti-hero but he's a quiet paragon himself. literally helps people out of habit and while he jokes abt it he doesn't actually expect anything in return and literally forgets he helped ppl bc it's just so engrained in his brain. - epitome of "sorry i had feelings, i'll replace em w/ jokes right away" - not the best cook tbh? like he can make some GOOD snacks (chicken mushroom skewers, a fried egg, simple stuff like that) but ask him to cook actual meals and he's at a loss for food prep and has no idea how to time everything in the dish. - emotionally available but only for other ppl. cannot and will not express his own emotions bc of aforementioned anxieties; but u wanna talk to him abt shit? he's all ears and will comfort u like a bbgrl. - this is less of a h/c but actually canon, and that's just that Kaeya's lonely. i genuinely think he wants to be around ppl but he feels like they wouldn't like the real him :(( - on that note, i WILL say that, despite his playfulness, this man is a romantic at heart??? like he probably LOVES poetry and writing and music, and the only reason he makes light of it is b/c he thinks it's funny and also to make people underestimate him. he would probably die for the opera performances in Fontaine tbh. OKAY,,, i've gotta hurry up and wrap this post bc i have work soon but please here thank u this is my bbgrl kaeya i love him so much. he has been in my main party since day one and like i'm beyond attached to this lil shit, like PLEASE HIS VOICELINES ARE SO GOOD. i will talk more abt my kaelumi h/c's and explain how things go in my "canon", b/c i'm trying to go in order of how all the poly met each other. WHICH means that Zhongli's next!!! b/c ofc i'm going to scream abt him, my friend's playing his archon quest and letting me watch it again and i'm taking so many notes its not even FUNNY.

[obsoleteozymandias]

hi! i saw that your twisted wonderland matchups were open so i would like to request!

basic information:

i am an estp, and my zodiac sign (sun) is libra. i would like to matched up with a male (even though twst only has males what am i talking abt)

personality:

(positive traits) : i am a hard worker and when i set my mind to something i can work insanely hard for it. (but i won’t work to the point that my mental health declines) im a very committed person! i am also very friendly and easy to talk to! i like rules and i will follow them to the best of my ability because i think rules keep people organised so i don’t see much of an issue with them. (and i swear leaving the table 15 minutes after finishing your lunch is what i grew up learning so honestly i think half the heartslabyul rules are just common sense) i am very anti-violence and i strongly believe that violence is not the way to solve issues. i would say i’m quite responsible, i never miss any homework deadlines, and my grades are always “a”. im very cheerful as well and according to my friends and family, my happy energy is contagious!

(negative traits) : i tend to sleep quite a bit, not sure if this counts as a negative trait! i sleep around 9-10 hours because if i don’t i feel so groggy 😭😭 i tend to have insanely high expectations of myself so when i get anything lower than what i expect i will be disappointed and upset with myself. (i would be disappointed if, for example, i got a 89 on the subject im best at) i think i do get carried away easily as well, for example when my skin has a few bumps on them i’ll get really insecure and sad.

physical appearance:

i’m 158cm and i have pretty slim fingers and i’m really thin too. my bmi is underweight but i just can’t gain weight :c (but i still look and appear healthy! so i’m 158cm and 43kg)

likes and dislikes:

(likes) : EGGS!! dogs, pandas, alpacas, and hedgehogs! i enjoy written subjects instead of subjects like art, music, and physical education (all subjects i get lower than an “a” in fr 🫠😔) i LOVE reading books too, its my hobby! (+chocolate)

(dislikes) : FOOD WITH OLIVE OIL (disgusting i hate it) i hate olive oil too!! anything olive oil stay away from me 😭 and mushrooms i HATE HATE HATE mushrooms.

that’s all, thank you!!

Anon I hope you know how much you set yourself up for this one, otherwise I don’t know what to tell you

== Twisted Wonderland ==>

I match you up with…

Riddle Rosehearts

Pre-relationship:

You’re quick to become Riddle’s favorite dorm member, and not just because you respect the rules of the dorm, but also because of your ability to challenge his expectations all while upholding them. 

He is, of course, taken by your diligence and adherence to the rules of the dorm. When you memorize all of them, he’ll admit, he’s quite a bit flustered. Admiring and respceting the rules of the dorm almost feels like you’re showing him the same respect - something his height and attitude rarely affords him outside of school. 

And, of course, you show the utmost respect for Riddle himself, which gives him a confidence boost like nothing else. 

That, and, you actually seem to like him? Few can claim to do both of those, ergo, you two are fast friends. 

He’s also thrilled when he finds out how much you like hedgehogs, and shows the ones around the dorm to you eagerly. He looks so happy and full of enthusiasm that it makes you blush, just a bit. 

Being aware of your own mental health is something he admires. Riddle tends to work himself to the bone, but you’re quick to step in and let him know, sternly, that he needs a break, and that you’ll happily join him for tea or a walk through the garden. 

And somewhere in between those walks and chats over tea, he falls deep and hard for you. 

Confession: 

Riddle meticulously plans out his confession to you, down to the very second he’ll say each and every syllable. It would be cute if he confessed to you using his original plan, but perhaps more so if you caught him sleeping after a long night of working on his plans - which you could clearly see. 

That forces an improtu confession that has him flustered and frazzled and in rare form, but he’s just that much cuter when he stammers out his feelings for you. 

Relationship:

Your relationship is one built on mutual respect and trust. You two both see the other as too good for you at the start, but with a lot of communication and the determination you both possess, negative thoughts are quickly swept aside and replaced with soft kisses. 

You two spend a lot of dates cuddled up next to eacother in the library, reading your own books but slipping into an intellectual conversation every now and then. 

Your high energy and happiness rubs off on him too. When he’s around you, dorm members will attest to him being kinder and more passionate. 

That, and, his face is often red from kisses planted on his cheeks.

You two are a power couple whose relationship is something to aspire to.

[qbebou]

ok not to be like he’s just like me fr…. but chayanne is just like me fr…..

i’m also the oldest child with one younger sibling who needed a lot more care when we were kids and therefore was deprived of certain needs in favor of my brother. i also had a parent that was missing a lot and depended almost solely on my dad. obviously tallulah needs more help than chay, with her asthma and lesser fighting skills, not to mention she had only been playing minecraft for like a month? or two before wilbur found her. and chay knows that! he knows that she needs more help than he does he knows he’ll do anything for her he knows he has to be the strongest to protect her. my brother and i are only a year apart but i was forced to grow up very very quickly bc i was on my own a lot as a kid while my brother was sick. phil doesn’t worry abt chay when he runs off bc he doesn’t need to, chay can take care of himself. hell, he took care of all the eggs when they first left. but at the same time, it’s comforting to know ur parent is looking out for u even when u don’t need it. phil’s not a smothering parent, he’s attentive, but not smothering. but let’s be real he can also be emotionally constipated LMAO but that leads to situations like the argument and frustration between chay and tallulah when dapper was kidnapped. in his defense, he’s never been a parent before and had 2 children thrust upon him to raise on his own. he didn’t have a lot of time to adjust to parenthood like ppl in real life do, he suddenly had 2 children who had their own thoughts and opinions and emotional needs, he didn’t get the time it takes to LEARN abt how to provide that specific care and while some ppl have that innate knowledge there is a lot of learning and navigating when it comes to emotional vulnerability and regulation esp when it comes to children who are figuring it out as well. i feel for chay when he thinks he needs to be the strongest. i feel for chay when he had to make the decision to gather the eggs and leave. i feel for chay when he had to take blame for bad things happening. and i feel for chay when he realized tallulah doesn’t need him as much anymore. my brother and i are both adults now and we had a …… tumultuous relationship as teenagers for reasons that were both our own and caused by problems outside our control. but i still remember exactly how devastating it was the moment i realized that he was fine on his own. that he didn’t need me anymore. and it caused a rift between us; on my end bc i was frustrated and felt tossed aside and on his end bc he NEEDED to be independent to keep growing. i see so much of myself in chay and i desperately wish he and tallulah had a better mediator for their argument, or at least someone who could truly understand why they were so upset. i don’t think phil clocked that tallulah was so upset and adamant abt looking for dapper bc it was just her dapper and ramon surviving on their own. just bc phil didn’t witness it doesn’t mean it didn’t happen and it doesn’t mean that they don’t have a much tighter relationship than they had before purgatory. and when chayanne said everyone was blaming him for the decisions he made phil was quick to tell him that no one was blaming him but also phil doesn’t know that! he doesn’t know if any blame was put on chayanne when it was just the eggs together. chayanne made the decision for the eggs to run and they trusted him bc he’s the oldest and he’s strong and he can be a leader but by running he also put the eggs thru a lot of pain and fear that they may not have gone thru if they stayed with their parents. and even if the eggs didn’t explicitly say that they blamed chayanne im sure he blamed himself for every little thing that went wrong. we’ve already seen him open up a tiny bit abt how he was questioning his decision to leave. but phil told him that chay made the best decision he could have given the information he had at the time which is true! but when ur the oldest and everyone is looking to u, all of the responsibility lies on ur shoulders. chayanne has been carrying SO much weight on his shoulders for so long it breaks my heart.

[eldrith]

HIYAA! It’s me, the new tumblr acc person who asked u abt the text thing on ur own intro post, and i was wanting to ask for some tips on writing?

Ok so hold on let me compliment u first cuz u are actually so amazing!!! i’ve been following ur stuff for a while now (not rlly, since like summer 24 but shh) and honestly ur writing is so stunning and beaand breathtaking and legit made me pull up the dictionary like every two seconds (mostly cuz eng isnt my first language), like if shakespear himself was reborn to this time and age i’m convived he was born as u, cuz ur talent is INSANE?? like AAAAAAAAAAAA

anyway now that i got that out of my system (not rlly, i could write an entire essay on how beautiful and amazing ur writing is) i was hoping to ask for tips on writing? like general stuff yk? also i heard that its good to have a few drafts ready for when u start posting so it wont take long to get content out?

ughh srry for the ramble im stressing😭 also i kinda giggled when u said my blog will def be cute cuz the aesthetic it has rn………. 😀 its far from cute lol😭 i still think its pretty :3

hi cutie! sorry it took me a moment to answer this i've been so busy!!

first of STOP IT bc youre so sweet (& if you've been following me since summer '24 then you've been here the whole time bc i made this account in july!!! <3) the dictionary part ahahaha i get it!!! you're so kind to say such things i appreciate you & im so happy you like my writing!!

dw about rambling i literally don’t stop taking ever. & i believe you that ur blog is SO cute!!!!

i would be happy to share some tips ! i obviously am not the best source bc im not a professional writer and to each their own – but here's a (very long im sorry) list of what i recommend:

in terms of tumblr,

having a 'backlog' of fics in your arsenal is a great thing. i think even a plethora of diferent wips can be a great thing too (there's 11 unfinished wips in my folder rn that may not see the light of day), even if you're a slow writer (like me). that being said, it doesn't have to be that way — sometimes i post things right after finishing them just bc i want to share it!!!

along that vein, i know a lot of my moots here have schedules or structuring to posts. alerting their followers or posting teasers before (i do like to do this often), or scheduling fics to be posted on a certain day/time. i think this is wonderful; though i haven't been able to keep myself to such a routine, and literally just let things rip whenever.

time zone reblogging is a good way to ensure any readers around da globe see your fic! you can figure out some of the main time zones and schedule reblogs of your fics for those times. i sometimes do this too!

create your post draft w/ title/headers/warnings & tags etc beforehand bc it is SUCH a drag to do when you’re about to post a fic!!!

again, people are for the most part very kind here; don't feel like you have to be churning out fics just to keep people's attention. your writing will be wonderful & they will (they WILL. or else i will Get Them) be grateful that you chose to share it!!

in terms of general writing, i actually have so many thoughts on writing and preferences, but i dont want to be insane on main so here's just a few things off the dome—

love your story!! i think people's best works are when they become deeply invested with their own plot/characters. it's why i chose to leave certain characters, because i was no longer loving/enjoying my stories.

withhold information from your readers. i am a huge believer in the theory of omission. this seems to be a bit controversial on here; but i personally am in support of Hemingway's iceberg theory. overwhelming readers with information is boring. let them use their imagination to keep them & yourself from getting burnt out, & allow them to see what they'd like to within those gaps.

write first & edit later. this is something that took me a while to get into the habit of bc i always feel the need to fix things immediately. but it helps the writing process to get out your thoughts and structure first, then fine-comb it after. it saves energy & time!!!

especially in longer fics, avoid logical fallacy — ie., arguments that do not have adequate support. if your characters are fighting and it is for a reason that is not believable (same with a larger scale, like war), then it isn't as realistic nor entertaining to read!!! (i could elaborate but i could write so much on all of this HAH)

USE THE FIVE SENSES. all of them. they are your friend for creating imagery and i use them all the time. this also helps to avoid white room syndrome.

speaking of imagery: make use of both literal and figurative.

literal — obvious & realistic description of anything. ex; describing how black the wings of a raven are. simple& makes a huge difference in world building. figurative — my favorite; words and descriptions that imply certain ideas & need to be interpreted. describing how shadows slither around corners; implying distrust or paranoia, thoughts of serpents, etc. (this is where you have to have faith in your readers — perhaps i put too much faith in them sometimes lmao.)

my favorite way to ensure a cohesive work is to always anchor a motif. i always write with a clear recurring element in my works (could be some device, reference of some sort, words/verbal formula) which appears habitually. in every piece ive written there is at least one motif & usually more (i could cite examples but im not going to rn). it’s my favorite way of conveying emotion & importance. it help sets mood — and ties your whole fic together.

George Orwell has written a lot about never using the passive where you can use the active... this is obviously a preference; i have read countless astounding fics here that write in the passive, but i personally find myself more engaged in active tense. you’re IN the story, not being told of it.

DO NOT USE AI BOTS TO HELP GENERATE YOUR WRITING. ai is incredibly harmful to art; i understand folks who have english not as their native language attempt to use bots to 'polish' their writing, although it is so incredibly obvious when it is used — because computers use patterns. AI CANNOT CREATE, it can only replicate. it can only steal. they use repetitive words, phrases, and structures; all chat GPT fics read, in one way or another, the same; and have a non-human touch which is ingenuine. writers are beautiful and unique because they are different, because we all have a different relationship with english and writing. i often wonder if my translations come out incorrectly because my mother tongue is not english (however i've spoken it basically all my life, so i acknowledge it is different); though i think the charm in authors is their choice in expression. i hope people are confident with themselves, no matter their perceived skill level. i hope they know a robot will take away their intrinsic skill and natural talent. i hope they know it is incredibly obvious when chat bots are used to generate writing. and i see it in this fandom all the fucking time.

writers on writing; ie., some sources that help me:

ray bradbury on: I’ve kept everything I’ve ever cared about since childhood.' or: why personal experience is integral to writing fiction. (1963)

anaïs nin on how the excess of emotion is essential to writing.

ten rules of writing by nietzsche.

vonnegut/kafka: uncertainty is the crucible of creativity. or: the shapes of stories.

writing morally grey characters (character depth)

donna tartt on the writing process: an interview (must watch!!! shes my god)

okay i am DONE yapping. i hope some of this helps & if u have any comments or questions or anything im happy to hear what u think!!

[a-sip-of-milo]

hi its uhhhhh research to i think i have bpd pipeline person here. idk how else to identify myself because i dont feel comfortable making myself public.

ive been intending to do more research into bpd but its like. hard and not because its hard to find resources, i found stuff on youtube, but its hard to sit down and watch it because its not entertaining enough to put my full attention on, so my mind was wandering and then i wasnt taking in information. and i dont know what to do sob. i only actually watched one video bc i know that other videos are going to be boring to me and that im not going to take in information bc i cant focus.

it was a video about what it was like living w quiet bpd and from the little i remember i was like “yep. sounds like me.” (even tho for the most part i literally cannot remember the video) and when i look at the 9 symptoms, theres 4 i can confidently say i experience, and 4 others that are a maybe, but my memory is shit so i can’t accurately tell by myself which of those symptoms i actually experience.

everytime i think abt having bpd i get upset, but i cant tell if its coming from the root of ableism(?) that me being upset about having disorders usually comes from (wanting to be “normal”) or if its coming from the root of ableism that was people with bpd/npd are inherently bad

i also think i have a favourite person. by think i mean putting the pieces together from other people talking about their favourite people from asks you answer made me realize “oh so thats why im so infatuated by this person and it’s not just being closer to them than my other friends”

Hey! I also find it incredibly difficult to sit through informative videos, so you're not alone there. There's also the issue of "am I going to sit through this entire video just to figure out that it's rooted in ableism" that stops me from getting through them. I prefer written stuff!

When it comes to the internalised ableism (also completely valid, that's not just a personality disorder issue), it could very well be a combination of both. Not only does this mean you're not "normal" anymore, but the disorder that's causing it is something that is often considered inherently bad. That can be a scary realisation to make.

I feel like i've said this before, but you don't need to rush into it. You could be struggling so much with doing research and absorbing information on the subject because your brain has yet to accept that it's okay. This can take time, and the best thing you can do if that's the case is to take a step back from the overwhelming amount of information there is to take in and work on breaking that pattern of thinking, however hard it may be.

Try positive affirmations with yourself. If you happen to recognise a particular kind of behaviour that stems from your BPD, acknowledge that, tell yourself that it's okay and move on. Think about what you'd say to another person who was struggling with the things you're experiencing. Just be kind to yourself.

Don't force yourself to do something that you're not ready for. In the end, it will only make you resent the possibility of having BPD even more and that is far less constructive.

I hope this helps, but also please don't fret if it doesn't or hesitate to tell me that i'm just rambling for no reason/you're not looking for advice. I won't be offended /gen /nm /lh

[ryuichirou]

Hey Ryu! \ (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)/

Hope ur having a great day/night!

I rlly enjoy the head cannons and angst ships! Tho I recently read ur past VilxRook angst post and thought I'd give it a little shot for myself but with Azul x Idia and Idia x Ortho. It took a bit of courage for me to create this scenario bc it's a bit sensitive to me (not bc it happened to me or anything I just think it's horrible and dark) but this didn't leave my mind so I wanted to share it with u.

I was wondering what if Azul made Idia a victim of human trafficking? I see Azul as a person that would do anything for money. Idia is one easy resource, especially bc of their marriage now. I imagine after they got married by signing the papers, Azul at the time was probably think of how he could milk Idia from his wealth. Not completely ofc, but to the point where he is in control of it. Idia can provide for him in many ways (business wise), but Idia can also provide for him in bed. Tho what Idia does for him is enough, he probably thought "Why not kick it up a notch?~". He sumhow tricked Idia into agreeing with it since he is a master manipulator then made a business out of Idia. Idk if Idia would have enjoyed it or not but let's say he didn't to keep the dark side of this going. Ik Ortho would have noticed the bruises and forced hickeys/bites on Idia's body at sum point. Idia would just brush it off and say it's just from the others. Ortho would have brushed it off too since he knows Idia's relationships. If only Idia didn't act so off, he would have agreed. Ortho would catch on to the situation, stalking, watching, and realizing what's going on. He would probably confront Idia Abt it and force him to respond out of concern. Idia would break down and confess to what's going on, even exposing the fact that Azul made him do it. Or Ortho would probably connect the dots in his own and figure out that this was Azul's doing. What would Ortho do then? Now that he knows all of this information. What will he do with it?

Ofc the Leech brothers have a part in this. I wonder if they would think of this as a way to have fun or they genuinely feel guilty but can't do anything bc whatever Azul says goes? (Sort of funny how taller and more athletic they r compared to Azul- They could rip Azul to shreds if they wanted to but they won't for obvious reasons.)

That's all I had in mind. Hope this is sumwhat entertaining for u to read and replay to! (⁠ㆁ⁠ω⁠ㆁ⁠)

(Also I don't mind waiting for ur reply. I just care that u enjoy my ask with ur own opinions and have fun with whatever u have in mind. No need to apologize all the time. After all, for me, it's an honor to get a reply from u! Plus, waiting for u just adds to the curiosity of what u will say! It's fun for me! (⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡)

Have fun with this however u like! I'll wait for however long to hear ur fun thoughts. Have a great night/day! ♡

Anon! First of all, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts despite the topic being sensitive, and thank you for being patient with us. We really appreciate it!

And damn this was a fun read, it has pretty much everything that we enjoy: Idia is suffering in the worst and the sexiest and the most cruel way possible, Azul is being a powerful manipulative money-grubbing asshole, Ortho being a concerned protective little brother that would stalk Idia for Idia’s best interest (obviously!) and the Tweels are also there lol

Speaking of tweels, I agree that it is funny just how easy it would be for them to rip Azul to shreds if they wanted. That being said, I think their main motivation would still be their own fun – what Azul is doing is fucked up and unfair to Idia, but also quite amusing, so they’ll play along. Their lack of empathy is a fun asset to their characters, in my opinion!

I also think that Idia is pretty smart, but also quite self-sabotaging and prone to accepting horrible treatment, so even though he is smart enough to see through Azul’s manipulations, he could also easily go along with his plans. Maybe it was to make Azul happy, maybe it was to make himself more miserable (out of guilt for any reason), maybe the isolation did its thing. Or maybe it tickles a kink he didn’t know he had~ Whatever it is, he is definitely a victim of Azul’s wonderful ideas

To answer your question, god I wouldn’t want to be in Azul’s shoes when Ortho finds out what’s going on. I think this entire situation is enough for him to want to fry Azul with lasers until he is reduced to dust. Ortho would need his precious Idia actually begging him not to kill Azul for him to calm down just enough to stop and think for a moment.

But, unfortunately for Azul, this is a “I won’t kill him, but I’ll make him suffer” type of situation for Ortho, because there is no bigger sin than forcing Idia to do something that he doesn’t want to.

The question is, is Azul smart and cunning enough to manipulate Ortho into thinking (or manipulate Idia into making Ortho think) that Idia is actually quite happy with the situation and that he wants to stay with his husband? The chances are slim (Ortho has a lie detector in him for fuck’s sake lol), but not completely zero. If Azul plays his cards right, the situation could continue for quite some time…

[its-the-ratdawg]

Let's say you get transported to the world of NBCs Hannibal, would u rather transmigrate into Will Graham or Hannibal? Also second hypothetical with a similar premise--what do you do if it is Freddy Lounds instead?

Holy fuck anything but Freddie Lounds. No one can do it like her and I am NOT qualified to take her place as a journalist, person, fashion icon, or character. I would feel so bad for fucking up her reputation like that lol

For funsies, if I was Freddie Lounds, I'd obviously be utilizing my platform for my own agenda. I'd probably out Brian for giving me insider information on Will Graham (she didn't do this because she saw potential to use him as a source again but I'm pissed at him for it so idc). I'd also publish articles about Will and Hannibal's weird relationship as filler because let's be honest thats what I'm best at writing about anyways. I'd need to buy some time because I'm not nosy or resourceful enough to do the sort of investigative work she does to write abt other things.

I would also enjoy having her hair and her face AND her clothes lmaoo she looks so good all the time for no reason. Most importantly I would not sit NAKED on a hotel chair because they do NOT clean those things super well lol. Maybe I'd also publish an article about Jack and how he both hired Will and introduced him to Hannibal, sicking my fanbase on him to exacerbate the guilt he experiences over that. One last thing I might start investigating the BSHCI just to see Chilton sweat when I come close to reporting on his shady practices there hdhdhf

As far as Will and Hannibal, it's pretty much an even 50/50. I'm not sure if by transmigrate you mean I now am them, or if I'm just kind of possessing them, and if it's the latter, my actions definitely depend on whether or not they're conscious and aware that I'm possessing them lol. Obviously I'm getting freaky with either of them.

If I'm Hannibal I'm reading his diaries and his patient notes and all his books, messing around with his instruments, sampling all his alcohol, busting into his freezer, and trying on all his clothes (OBVIOUSLY). Then I'm sending Margot and Alana some sort of beautiful present as an apology hhdhff

If I'm Will I'm going on a long fucking fishing/camping trip all by myself someplace so remote that I don't have to run into anyone else for at least a week. Then I'm coming home, taking a long shower, sampling his alcohol, and railing Hannibal because I know I can. Maybe if I'm not having too much fun I'll write a brief letter to Jack reassuring him that he didn't fail me, I'm just fucking evil and there was nothing he could have done to prevent my villain arc. Oh and I'm reading all his books too because he had a good collection. Having thought it out, if I have to choose between the two of them, I'm picking Will lol

[in-a-faith-forgottenn-land]

i had this dream that me and my family were like the best assassins in the world and i was like the greatest out of all my family (bc i’m the eldest daughter teehee) and then i was assigned to kill the princess of this rival kingdom and i was given a report of everything i need to know abt her (the information was false; i was supposed to hate her after reading her report and i did but the report that was given to me to hate her was wrong and false) and i thought she was another one of those royals who flaunt their fucking wealth in front of everyone and make the poor poorer and the rich richer. and so i was supposed to be undercover and get rlly close to her that i could do everything with her and get her to trust me so i could poison her food and stuff daily little by little so she dies slowly every day. and i did befriended her and i was so surprised that she was actually nice and caring and sweet and we clicked immediately and for some reason unbeknownst to me i actually felt bad for tricking her into being friends with me so i could kill her 😭😭 and then idk what happened but then oh boy. i fell in love y’all 😭😭😭 i don’t know how i knew this in the dream but i had the oh oh moment and i was like 😭😭 and then bc i loved her sm i told eveything to her abt me being an assassin in disguise abt me on an assignment to kill her and i thought she would hate me but she didn’t bc she understood how important impressing and making my parents proud of me is to me and she offered to kill herself for bc i couldn’t. i couldn’t do that. so i let her do it and then i killed myself out of grief and self loathing lmao 😭😭😭

[inakielgato]

Just smth I wanna write abt Iwaoi for fun. 🤣

~🦔👽🚪~

Iwaizumi: Oh great. First, our date is ruined bc some sons of bitches decided to hit my boyfriend when I’m away. Now, Tooru is crying!

Yahaba: What happened to him?

Iwaizumi: Idk! What did you guys do to him?!

Yahaba: Kunimi and I definitely did NOT do anything, pls don’t blame us as we’re just 2 helpless bottoms. We’re innocent bc we were with each other the entire time chatting while buying boba’s. 😊

Kindaichi: Yahaba is right. All the tops in our high school team besides you were hanging out also, we were having pizza for dinner.

Iwaizumi: MAKKI. GET UR ASS ONLINE NOW IM SUSPICIOUS OF U.

Kindaichi: U really think it’s Makki?!

Yahaba: Duh. 🙄 Who tf else would always cause trouble on the team?

Kindaichi: If it’s Oikawa that’s busy crying now, he won’t cause trouble yet. So I’m assuming that ur saying it’s Makki.

Makki is online.

Iwaizumi: Wtf did u do to Tooru?! Why is he crying?!

Makki: …I might’ve or might’ve not made him watch some Iwaoi angst on YT. 😅

Kindaichi: Bro. IWAOI ANGST?! DO U NOT FUCKING KNOW THAT ITS POTENTIALLY UPSETTING TO THE READER?!

Yahaba: That’s it. I’m on their side. WHAT KINDS OF SHIT DID YOU FUCKING MAKE HIM READ?!

Makki: Uhm…breakups?

Iwaizumi: AND WHY DO YOU THINK THAT IT IS A SMART IDEA?! 😀

Makki: Bc I did that for revenge?! He made me do a prank on Issei that I forget who he even is due to him being dead already!

Yahaba: Pretending as if he is a ghost?! OMFG WHYD U EVEN AGREE TO THAT?!

Makki: IM DUMB, OKAY?!

Yahaba: SURE U R.

Iwaizumi: OKAY, ENOUGH. IVE GATHERED ENOUGH INFORMATION. Thank you very fucking much for this time, Takahiro Hanamaki.

Iwaizumi has muted Makki for 1 week and kicked Makki for 3 days.

Iwaizumi is offline.

(IRL…)

Iwaizumi: Hey, are you ok? I heard you saw some angst on YouTube and it’s something that you shouldn’t really be watching.

Oikawa: Stupid, stupid, stupid! Why couldn’t it just get off of my mind?! I fucking hate myself!

Iwaizumi: Oi! Stop blaming yourself, you couldn’t help but watch them, couldn’t you?

Oikawa: If only Makki had never sent me those crappy shits…

Iwaizumi: Alright. Why don’t you tell me what those videos were about? I know they are about us breaking up, but what exactly happened?

Oikawa: All of them were all because of me…not being considerate. *sob*

Iwaizumi: Come here. *hugs him* And do you think you’re being considerate enough in this relationship?

Oikawa: …I don’t know.

Iwaizumi: Look, Tooru. I need you to be completely honest with me. Just so I can talk to you properly based of what you think, I’m not ok with you being uncomfortable or upset at all.

Oikawa: No. I’m an absolute selfish bitch who only flexes about how good I am. I don’t care about myself, either. I overwork myself even if I know I’m not doing too well. I try to compete with everyone including you all of the time, even if I lost, I wouldn’t fucking admit it.

Iwaizumi: Well, I don’t think you are that kind of a person. Deep down, I know you’re actually caring when you have to be. And your humour is always beautiful, you have a hard-working trait. You can be competitive, but in a positive way. You’re just competing with yourself this entire time! You’re not selfish, you don’t flex. You’re very generous, gorgeous and always joyful. You are fantastic in your own way, Tooru. I can see it already with my own eyes. In my heart, you will always be the best. Even if I was blind, I could feel it 24/7.

Oikawa: Oh my god, stop. You’re making me cry even more!

Iwaizumi: It’s ok, let it out.

They were embracing each other tightly while Oikawa was weeping as hard as he possibly could. Being engulfed in such a warm hug when you need it is sweet.