#i dont know. it drives me fucking insane.
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love the idea of poolverine with a squirter s/o like they always have a million towels ready and wade would probably see that waterproof blanket thing on tiktok and buy it immediately, wade just loves it all wet and messy and logan gets this cocky primal feralness from seeing her gush so embarrassed by the mess 🥹 they wouldn’t stop until she’s droopy and sobbing.
Yes yes yes yes!!!! I have so many things to say about this- including aftercare!!
Firstly wade worms are losing their fucking minds at this ask-
Secondly- im sosoSO glad i have a fellow truther of the "wade likes it wet and messy" agenda!!! Bc GOD YES. He so does. Wade is the king of real sloppy, nasty, toe curling sex. Both supremely kinky and more vanilla. Your so right about the blankets/towls too! He absolutely would have a dedicated pile that he keeps for the sole purpose of sex. (This very much includes just Oral too!! He will lap at you until you drench his marred face so bad it shines and you drip like a broken faucet)
And Very little weirds him out or is too much!! Not to mention if theres somthing that come up you dont feel super confident in trying yourself?? By alllll means go ahead and do it to him first to make your mind up!! he will never make you do or try anything he wouldn't do/have done to him himself!! And god knows Wade will take it like a goddamn champ- Like a real good fucking boy.
I swear im- theres just no words for the way i love thinking about wade without getting incredibly carried away with it.
So onto the topic of logan, man of far too many h word thoughts???
Logan LOVES seeing his pretty baby ruined. Especially when it comes at the hand of wade. Not to say he doesnt love doing it himself but the sight of his people? His loves? Driving themselves to the brink of heaven while he watches/instructs?? Gets him off big time. The rush of adrenaline that fills him at the sight is insane- and man.. Man is the aftercare TOP TIERRRRR.
I firmly believe that while he will watch (and participate) in completely ruining you; he will not hesitate to hold you close and build you back up afterwards.
Im talking cleaning you up properly when you might still be too fuzzy in the head to do it, explaining every step in a hushed whisper when you whine from the sensitivity. Logans then brushing the matted knots out of your hair with all the gentleness in the world. His touch the softest kind of contrast after the roughened grabs and spanks he'd otherwise offer in bed.
Hes making sure you have your favorite snacks/water close, getting you all comfortable in clothes; usually a mix of his and wares- the ones he knows you find the most comfort in. He'll hold you to his chest and coo praise, occasionally littering soft kisses to your head. big hands rubbing softly over any sore/chafed spots on your skin, letting you come back to full strength as slow or as quick as you need.
In conclusion.. Let me at them both. Pls. It would calm me down...
#carbonrambles#poolverine smut#poolverine#poolverine x reader#logan howlett#wolverine#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett smut#wolverine smut#logan howlett x reader smut#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool#Deadpool smut#deadpool x reader#wade wilson#wade wilson smut#wade wilson x reader#carbonasksforasks
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the amount i wanna explore the immortal alliance is just So Much
okay there are LAYERS to how i feel about these events
because look guys, so far as we understand, airplane is a pretty normal dude. a bit of an internet troll (ok a lot of an internet troll), a horny writer, and an immature punkass who's completely shameless, but like... he's not a mass murderer ya'll.
it KILLS ME that we never got an airplane extra about the immortal alliance because dude HOW HE FELT ABOUT THAT IS A LOT
yeah, he's grown up in this world and yeah he might have had no choice either via the system or via mobei jun or a mix of both, but its absolutely bonkers to be able to just walk off "yeah, a bunch of CHILDREN died in really brutal ways directly because of my influence". like shen yuan was wracked with guilt for years and he only 'killed' one kid and he knew that kid would walk it off.
and i dont buy the explanation that airplane wasn't treating pidw like a real world because frankly... i just dont think that makes any fucking sense if he was born there. yeah, it's gotta feel a bit wonky and unreal with the system in his head, but dude he was BORN here. suspension of disbelief that this world wasn't 'real' wouldnt last a few years, much less several decades. the sheer number of people he would have met, interacted with, and knew were REAL wouldnt make it possible. i do think that he made a huge effort not to get attached to anyone, knowing that bing-ge was gonna kill the fuck out of basically all of them, but theres a big difference between "ahh yeah that guy is gonna die so imma try not to get attached" and "lol ive lived in this world for thirty years but i dont actually think any of this is real"
so look, theres two possibilities for airplane's reaction:
he really does have a seriously fucked up side of him thats 100% okay with murdering children
he was VERY not okay with what happened but he had no choice and he's just Coping the best he can
there's also some answers in-between, but fuck i need to know this answer so badly because knowing the answer to how airplane reacted to the immortal alliance is SO character defining and it drives me insane. characterizing a person who can justify children dying because "not my problem, idc" versus someone who's horrified and traumatized over the part they played in child murder IS KINDA A BIG DIFFERENCE
personally, im coming to a headcanon somewhere in the middle. because tbh none of the airplane extras really spend any time addressing him feeling any sort of guilt over the situation. which does make it seem that he really does have a seriously dark side to him. and he did walk off his fellow disciples getting murdered by mobei jun very easily. but also, i headcanon that he is just the Master of compartmentalizing shit that fucks with him. cant deal with the events of the immortal alliance? thats fine, imma just put those feelings in a box and Never Think About Them.
i actually like to think that airplane's issue with the immortal alliance is the exact reason that mobei jun showed up in person. airplane is doing the immortal alliance thing because the system isnt giving him a choice and he's trying Very Hard not to think about "oh wow, theres gonna be a lot of junior disciples dead by the end of this haha, wow, they look so young ahhahaha, did teenagers always look like toddlers??? bc this is fucking me up REALLY FUCKING BAD" and mobei jun notices that something is Really Wrong with airplane and he cant decide if he's worried or suspicious of airplane's behavior
so he decides to show up in person, just to make sure shang qinghua isnt gonna pull anything but also that the idiot doesnt die while he's acting So Weird
but i think that airplane is like hyper pragmatic
so he's horrified in the planning stages and maybe even in the execution stages, but once it's over he's very much "they're already dead, theres no changing that, theres no point agonizing over it" and its not that he's OKAY with what happened but he literally cannot justify tearing himself apart over people who are dead because that isnt going to help anything. they're not alive to see him upset over it and even if their ghosts could see him, they're not gonna really feel better over dying bc "the guy who killed me feels really bad about it"
i also think that the years airplane spent growing up as shang qinghua play into it A LOT. he's had decades to come to terms with the immortal alliance happening. he knows its a major plot point, it's basically one of two major plot points that shang qinghua has a part in, and the system is unlikely to let him get out of it. so he's spent a longgg time numbing himself to the reality of "im going to murder dozens of children"
this is all my speculations tho and i just wanna rip my hair out that we dont have an immortal alliance extra!!!!!! i just want to KNOW instead of guessing where his head is at. literally, if he doesnt feel any guilt over murdering children, that's kinda a Big Deal characterization-wise. and if he does feel guilt but he doesnt express it thats ALSO a Big Deal characterization-wise!!!
I JUST WANNA BE ABLE TO ACCURATELY PORTRAY HIS PERSONALITY FFFFUUUCCCKKKK I HATE THIS
anyway, im obsessed with the idea that mobei jun is the one who notices when airplane is Not Okay even when he's compartmentalizing like crazy. like airplane is so far down his hole of "its nbd and idc" that he actually believes it. he has to believe it to be able to live with himself. but the way he's fucked up shows up in other ways, maybe he's more forgetful than normal or scattered or clumsier or some mixture and mobei jun just Knows something is wrong, even when he doesnt know exactly what that wrong thing is
and like it becomes this thing where sometimes mobei jun knows airplane better than the little shit knows himself. airplane is so busy lying to himself to cope with his new reality and mobei jun sees through the lies that airplane believes.
but heres where mobei jun hits a problem lol. like, he knows theres something wrong, he knows how to read shang qinghua suupperr well, but does he know what to DO about any of that? absolutely not lmfao
"hm. qinghua is not okay. i should beat him four times today" LIKE THIS MAN DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO HELP EVEN WHEN HE UNDERSTANDS THE PROBLEM AND THAT'S HILARIOUS TO ME
like mobei jun shows up to the immortal alliance like "qinghua has been in pain over this. i'll show up unplanned and beat the shit out of him in front of everyone. that'll help."
i just think these two are an absolute disaster area and i love it
btw i am desperate for mobei jun's pov during the immortal alliance okay because LOOK
I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT IT ALOT
AND IM CONVINCED THAT MOBEI JUN /DID/ HAVE FEELINGS FOR AIRPLANE DURING THAT INCIDENT
BUT ALSO
ITS COMPLICATED
like i dont think mobei jun is simping like binghe, i think he's got some weird mixture of denial and affection and frustration and pining and hatred and suspicion thats all mixed up in all the best ways that during that time he is super in love with airplane but he's also got a lot of other Complicated feelings toward him AND I JUST WANNA SEE HIS POV TO PROVE MY HYPOTHESIS SO FUCKING BADLY WHY THE FUCK DO WE NEVER GET HIS POV IMMA SCREAM
mobei jun's fb status "its complicated"
airplane's fb status "single"
mobei jun: ...........im going to murder him. im going to murder him in his sleep. omfg i hate him so fucking much. WTF DO YOU MEAN SINGLE, YOU ASSHOLE
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Ppl with sad, friendless, isolated f/os listening to Oh Klahoma when the "I can't be the only one who hears you" bit hits
#i dont know. it drives me fucking insane.#this can be about any type of f/o. doesnt matter. personally i think about rudy whos my bestie#📡 incoming transmission 📡#self insert#selfshipping#f/o#selfship#self ship
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crackshipping spiderfist and i was genuinely tweaking out so bad i couldn't do my homework for like 7 hours. I've had rivals open doing NOTHING but staring at their models the entire time.
#spiderfist#mustasekittens#peter parker#lin lie#marvel rivals#marvel rivals fanart#ITS FINALS WEEK AND IM OUT HERE DRAWING THESE BISEXUALS#oh my GOD#i also did a bunch of research into lie just to make sure i had a wider reference than the rivals varient#my fucking rivals peter looks like viktor tendercrisp (arcane) and its driving me NUTS#i also accidentlaly default to either my peter (40311) or insomnipete (1048)#its like. im tweaking out#im also so like#my main daydream storyline/plot im tossing around in my head is my cyspi in 1048 again so.#erm maybe one day ill tell u guys aobut that#if u know u know#there is a whole document ill share one day. some of my besties know the insanity#(i dont think any oomfs here do other than harry hive if they see this)#spiderman#iron fist#rivals spiderman#rivals iron fist
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you know what really pisses me off? so many people acting like he is the worst person out there and no one will miss him. A LOT of people are grieving now and missing him including people that these people supposedly follow and care about. liam was not the supervillain people wanted him to be. he was messed up and did messed up things likely because of what happened to him. this conversation deserves so much more nuance than people are giving it. and maybe it’s too early to have this conversation now but it’s helping me process and grieve so i’m really writing this for me. people are complex and doing bad things doesn’t make you a bad person or someone worthy of death without being given the chance to make things right. and another thing, it is SO hypocritical to make fun of him and look down on him like he’s the ultimate Bad Guy meanwhile i bet every single person you have ever admired in the spotlight has likely also done bad things or at least things you wouldn’t be proud of. fame is an illness and it can cause people to harm others because they were hurt themselves. human beings are a culmination of everything that they’ve been through and everything they’ve done. he is not only the bad things he’s done and it’s okay and normal to grieve him as a whole person, because he was one.
#i’m glad most people are asleep right now so i could write this#i’m just so fed up with all the jokes on his behalf#people are IN PAIN. i’m sick to my stomach#liam wasn’t evil. he was messed up clearly otherwise he wouldn’t have been so intoxicated#man’s it drives me to insanity that these people who ‘stan’ an artist any artist could be so hypocritical right now#you don’t KNOW these people. they are famous and fame is an illness#it fucks up your brain and makes you do shitty things and act in ways people and yourself dont even recognize#EVERY celebrity has done something shitty in their lives and will continue to do so because that’s the price of admission#yes it was serious what he has done and that shouldn’t be swept under the rug but people are more than their worst moments#i feel so sick and dizzy over this. seeing all this shit about him everywhere is making me ill. i wish it would stop#i also feel for maya. this post isn’t to erase her trauma and experience at all. she has every right to speak her truth.#just have more compassion for people on all sides for christ’s sake#where is the humanity#grief#death tw#lp
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I've said it before, I'll say it again, and I'm sure it won't be the last time. I AM SICK AND BLOODY TIRED OF THESE MFS, HALF OF WHO DONT EVEN CARE ABOUT CURSED CHILD, BITCHING AND MOANING ABOUT AN ANGSTY TEEN DARING TO BE AN ANGSTY TEEN, I WILL FIGHT THE LOT OF YOU
(this is gonna be a bit long and probably incoherent so sit down and fucking listen to me 🔫 stick with me because I'm not just complaining about albus haters)
eVERYBODY wants cOoMmpllEeXx relatable HUMAN characters - and then SHIT themselves when the flaws a CHILD has isn't just 🥺 uwu im socially awkward and traumatised 🥺. that's why scorpius doesn't get this fuckass treatment, because his terrible human flaw is that he's a bit shit at conversation and gets sad about his dead mum (generalised understatement, but this post isnt about him. dont come for me i love him 🫶🏻)
god forbid albus, who feels unloved and unwanted (with valid evidence for a teenager), albus who feels completely out of place and outcast from his entire famously-close-knit family, ablus who is well known by the world by default via Harry and hates the attention and high expectations, albus who then gets targeted and bullied by his peers because he's not as perfect and brilliant as his father, albus who is then isolated from his one friend because Harry is making irrational ptsd fueled decisions, albus who tells Harry completely sincerely that he knows he's unlikeable but he'll try and change himself and be more like his siblings because he genuinely believes that's what Harry and everyone else whos had the misfortune of meeting him wants, albus who spends the entire play trying to prove himself and fix things via idiotic childish decisions BECAUSE HES A WHOLE UNSTABLE CHILD
god forbid that CHILD doesn't react like a patient, supported, well adjusted, level headed adult. god forbid he reacts outwardly. god forbid he reacts at all, my bad. clearly he should just sniffle a bit as if he doesn't feel suffocated and helpless by everything in his life, because obviously hes just a spoiled brat who doesn't know what real suffering is. god forbid he complains or feels anything negatively, or doesn't quite grasp that other people are struggling too because he is too busy trying so hard to deal with himself and his declining mental health the best he can with basically no support or understanding. god forbid he isn't completely perfect.
you all sound like some fucking boomer telling teenagers they don't know what real struggling is, they aren't mentally ill, they dont have any problems because they have a roof over their head, they should all go to war kids are too soft these days 😫😖😱 fUCKING‼️SHUT UP‼️
he does things wrong but he knows he does and he does everything he can to fix it! and he is fourteen!!! do none of you remember what being fourteen is like 😭😭 I swear half of you have got to be basically fourteen yourselves cmon man
cause I'm seeing this fucking pattern a lot recently. not just for albus, not just in this fandom, everywhere. ‼️ no one can fucking handle flawed characters anymore ‼️ the only thing any character is allowed to have wrong with them is trauma apparently, otherwise they have to be perfect, and I'm getting sick of it. characters and stories are meant to reflect real life, they're meant to help shape our world view, why are you expecting everyone to be fucking perfect??? what happened to nuance? what happened to understanding character development? you are all acting like characters and people are so black and white. either they're perfect or they're insufferable and evil. I won't lie, the most common victims i've noticed of this are women. but the flawed women are typically demonised, whereas the men are typically turned into uwu baby boys who actually aren't capable of doing anything wrong and then fanon goes nuts making them into ittle wittle victims. and I'm so fucking sick of all of it, I hate this. (obviously this is not a strict rule. Albus Potter, and also Albus Dumbledore now I mention it, are demonised beyond belief)
BRING BACK FLAWS AND BRING BACK NOT COMPLETELY WRITING OFF A CHARACTER BECAUSE THEY DARE TO BE HUMAN
I AM FED UP, ALBUS POTTER GET BEHIND ME
#he did many things wrong BUT I PROMISE YOU HE IS MORE AWARE THAN YOU ARE#HE HATES HIMSELF MORE THAN YOU EVER COULD#this post has been building a lot because i just kEEP SEEING ALBUS HATERS AND ITS DRIVING ME INSANE#i am albus potters defence lawyer actually#also eloise bridgertons i am seeing far too many people jumping on that hate train#i know shes going through her im not like other girls i hate pink phase but OF COURSE SHE IS#SHE LIVES IN THE 1800S WOMEN ARENT ALLOWED TO DO SHIT SHE FEELS TRAPPED IN A BOX AND ALL SHE SEES IS OTHER PEOPLE PLAYING THEIR PARTS#i could talk about her a lot more but this isnt the time or place 😔✋🏻 eloise bridgerton they could never make me hate you#also sansa stark i havent even watched game of thrones but i would fight to the death to defend her#her only crime was being a naive child and yet people hate her mercilessly#these are the people coming to me off the top of my head but there are countless fucking others#we are witnessing the death of media literacy and the death of nuance and its killing me i cannot fucking do this#i sincerely hope anyone complaining about al dont ever have teenage children because they will be shit at supporting or understanding them#hpcc#harry potter#albus potter#scorpius malfoy#years spent on tumblr and i still dont know how to tag#albus severus potter#harry potter and the cursed child#scorbus#is it cheeky if i tag bridgerton or game of thrones?#it feels cheeky 😔#the marauders#tagging that too because that fandom are fucking perpetrators of this#(said as someone in it dont come for me)
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so anyway been losing it over this pic for hours bc they're all looking fine and then there's khao looking like my lesbian aunt--
#the heart killers#firstkhao#joongdunk#khaotung thanawat#first kanaphan#joong archen#dunk natachai#LIKE MY DUDE 😭#whats going on lmao#the glasses aint it sweetie#and the haircut? remains to be seen dkljgdf#i dont mind shorter hair for him but only if its like.. a good cut lol#i cant tell from this pic#all i know is the glasses need to go ASAP#😭#also joong can kindly fuck off with his insane face card tbfh#tired of him driving me crazy with every single selfie he posts
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Ik we stevetonies love our ‘Steve pulling Tony out of a bender in the workshop’ trope but me? I LOOOOVE the other way round. A bad mission and Steve loses someone - he tried to save them but it was too late, he couldn’t get there in time. And post-mission he just holes himself up in the gym and stays there. For days. Working himself to exhaustion just so he can shave half a second off his sprint (half a second and that person would be alive), punching bag after bag until his hands are bloody and raw.
Tony is the only one who can get through to him like this. It’s only his voice that can make Steve pause, come back to himself. Sometimes Tony has to actively stand in front of whatever it is Steve’s attacking, which absolutely infuriates him, but damn if it isn’t effective in a way only Tony no-thought-to-his-own-self-preservation Stark could be. And Tony is equally as infuriated that steve is insisting on doing this to himself, but even though his tone is angry, his touch against Steve’s knuckles is impossibly soft.
He’ll drag Steve back up to the land of the living. Put him in the shower and clean him off, freshen him up, make him feel human again. Steve will already be healing, of course, but Tony still tends and bandages his hands - attentive to the finest detail, devoting every part of his mind to just making Steve feel a little bit better.
They don’t talk much throughout this. God knows Tony’s tried it before, but Steve is never in the headspace for it, and Tony never says the right thing anyway. But he’s there.
He runs his fingers over the back of Steve’s palms. Up his forearms. He strokes the sharp curve of Steve’s neck, settling against the quick pulse. Steve’s face is blank, but Tony is always surprisingly patient with him. He waits.
“I’m fine,” Steve will say every time, while his face will say the opposite.
“You’re an idiot,” Tony will respond. “I’m locking you out of the gym.”
He won’t. Steve needs it, even if it’s unhealthy, even if it’s agonising for Tony to watch. This is just how they get through.
But Steve will see the way Tony is looking at him- distressed, angry, worried - and it’ll break through the fog. The thing that always takes priority over everything is Tony, and even though Steve’s brain is screaming at him to get right back to it, he just can’t put it above Tony’s well-being. He couldn’t ever do that.
“I Guess I can take a break now.”
#stevetony#Steve Rogers#tony stark#um. merciless killing machine Steve tearing apart punching bags in the gym.#until Tony walks in and simply. steps right in front of the line of fire. totally fearless.#not even FLINCHING when Steve’s fist flies toward his face because he knows Steve will stop before it lands.#AND IT DRIVES STEVE FUCKINF CRAZYYYYY BECAUSE ITS SO DANGEROUS DONT FUCKING DO THAT JESUS#and Tony’s just like. okay. anyways now I have your attention can you PLEASE get the hell out of here’ etc etc etc IM INSANE FOR THIS#LOVE IT. GIVE ME ALL THE FICS.
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with the obvious addendum that act 3 isn’t out yet and we can’t form true opinions until the show’s officially done, i’m still really feeling like it could have maybe benefited from a third season. they’re hitting all the right plot points and those moments are full of really intense emotion, but everything in the middle feels so underwhelming in comparison and so much of it still feels rushed to me. idk
#arcane#arcane spoilers#i could kinda deal with it act 1 bc there was a lot to cover through the fallout after s1. but act 2 i'm reallyyyyyy feeling it#like dont get me wrong it's still so so so good#and i guess that's what makes it so much more frustrating#like you can see all the ways it can be just that littlest bit even better#but i guess if the biggest complaint viewers have about your show is that they want more then that already says a lot you know#anyway#it's the warwick / isha plot that bugs me specifically bc isha (love her to death) feels lowkey like a cop out#introduce a kid just to heavy push the 'cycle of violence' 'find your humanity again' character arcs only to kill her six episodes later#like EVERYONE was saying 'ive never seen a character so obviously created to die'#the subversive thing would be to have her live and show the cycle of violence is ending or something#but here's another broken kid killed by the system here's more proof that jinx is. well. a jinx.#idk idk idk#and warwick. i wanted so much MORE#heavily build up warwick all through act 1 just to have him die end of act 2#we barely got to see him at full power.#we barely got to see him with vi and jinx.#we barely got to see him reckon with the man he was and the monster he is now.#we got next to nothing before he's just dead. again#and again those scenes hit SO GODDAMN HARD. THEY ARE GOOD. but they couldve hit even harder if they just had more time to flesh it out !!!!#but again again no act 3 yet so who goddamn knows at this point#they aint dead til we see the bodies and even then they might not be dead bc thats just how arcane works#but fuck i just wish we sometimes had time to sit and FEEL things before the next new thing starts#ok im done rambling i just had to say something somehwere because its driving me insane#my posts
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people love posting that one scoroponok panel without context saying mpreg is canon but no one points out how insane it is in context. i need you to understand that baby is not a common experience/general form of reproduction, its specifically engineered by scorponok bc hes a fucking freak and its not even a transformer, that thing is an organic specifically designed to hold sparks to harvest for future transformers.
he put the gestation tank inside of his chest. this is not normal he made that shit upp. and then he dies.
#THIS SHIT HAS NO FUCKING BEARING ON THE PLOT#HE JUST DID THIS#RECREATIONALLY#IT DRIVES ME INSANE#i dont think its right to call this a method of reproduction bc we dont even know if it works#thats not a transformer he did not birth or create a transformer so is it even mpreg#merc mumbling#transformers#maccadam#Scorponok
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this could be kuwameshi if you guys would like. take my hand and trust me
#yyh spoilers in tags#like major spoilers ok#which ig i dont usually tag but whatever#the if i had to choose between the world and you it's you thing happened. and it was KUWABARA like hhhhgghh#yusuke makes him forget his honor code sometimes and i need you guys to see that with me#bc it makes me wanna fling myself into the ocean over and over again#kuwabara literally is like you need to be alive bc otherwise im nothing idek who i am. please let me punch you#and he wails this multiple times#and yusuke would burn down the world himself if he thought it'd help his friends we all know that#and doomed by the narrative? mmm with the ever escalating world ending nature of being a spirit detective thats kinda there#throw in the sudden demon-human age gap post yusuke death 2 and you've got some narrative dooming in a way#but not enough for me to well and truly call them doomed by the narrative#yyh#yu yu hakusho#kuwameshi#kazuma kuwabara#yusuke urameshi#ofc i can handle you at your worst thats basically you all the time is Very kuwa to yusuke#and maybe we can figure out what the hell ur problem is over dinner sometime is Very yusuke to kuwa#actually i should draw that. or make it a textpost or something#but like turning up the protectiveness/possessiveness thats already there with them in line with the whole#'ive watched you die' trauma they Both have means that like. i think they would Need to have each other around for a period of time#in the wake of sensui's bs perhaps. and then yusuke cuts it all off and they start to get a bit healthier about it. hm#i think about them all the time it's like if typicsl shonen rival/bestie homo-ness was kind of scary and painful#like they love each other but the ways they hurt each other and hurt over each other drive me fucking insane
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i hate my mom i hate her so much
#she is SO mean to my nana (her mom) and then comes to us for pity and justification and is mean to us when we dont indulge her#and has a breakdown crying fit she is driving me insane the way she treats her 80 year old mother is actually appalling#if i talked to her that way she would fucking smack me. i know because she has for much less :)#shes such a bitch! and she makes everyone in the room feel awful and uncomfortable and then expects everyone to comfort her all the time#but also doesnt let anyone help her or get near enlugh to comfort her sooooooooo#this is nothing new but like damn shes driving me extra crazy rn i cant wait to go hone#they speak
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I think that part of what like. kills me about the whole media literacy and critical thinking aspect of enjoying media these days is that people refuse to like. contextualize that
A. Bad media can still hold significant meaning to people
B. Media made for a demographic you aren’t apart of is not inherently bad media
C. Media made for and consumed by the opposite demographic is not inherently shallow or flawed nor is it above criticism for its media tropes either.
#unimportant thoughts#i dont feel like dropping specifics in post but like. people online drive me legitimately insane#good example is Ready Player One. its an okay book but people LOVE to hate on it for being a shallow nostalgia grab for old male demographic#and like. yeah. but also comsider that it Was written earnestly by a man in that demographic? and that people enjoyed it???#and maybe im soft hearted but my Dad was a nerd in the 80’s so both of us reading that book and comparing our experiences with it and#learning about his childhood from him. it was awesome yk??? was the book groudbreaking or particularly moving? no#are there a lot of fair criticisms you can make about the book regarding its poorly written female characters and painfully male tone#throughout? absolutely. its not the most vile piece of media its barely mediocre and its not the best thing since sliced bread either#and it kills me because instead of being able to have conversations like thay#people just attack and attack and attack and ATTACK#I don’t know i think the rise of this booktook wattpad level romance smut is another big part of this#are those books incredible? no. definitely not. are they decent? yeah theyre fine enough#are their characters shallow; do they follow tropes; are the characters clearly romanticized objects for us to googoo eye over? yeah#so fucking what??? they arent winning pulitzer prizes theyre just popular online and easily accesible#people love consumbable media thats not an inherently bad thing#and i think its hypocritical for people to defend one and attack the other or even to attack both#media doesnt exist to be appropriately Deep and Meaningful before people are allowed to consume and enjoy it#like. i think theres a LOT of levels of undestanding compassion and respect that people need to reach before these conversations are worth#anything. because right now it really feels like girls and boys arguing back and forth on the playground over whos show is better#anyways. i could go on but i wont.#bottom line i suggest you take a deep look at how ‘realistic’ and ‘meaningful’ the media you enjoy actually fucking is before you start#critizing other media for being too shallow or unrealistic depictions of something#hate to break it to you guys but 90% of fictional characters are fictional and dont act like people irl ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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and when i live on my own ill be able to decorate like real life decorate ive never gotten to do that in real life b4
#like im not barred from doing it Nd i do like. a little bit kind of but its like. Idk my entire life is a very transient thing and im rly#rly rly not used to being in one place for a long time so as a kid we never rly decorated ever#and like obv i wont be Owning a house or anything like that so itll still have to be moveable but i can like. but furniture that i like and#stuff... ive never gotten to do that b4 even in um. wa. i didnt rly get to do any of the decorating even when i was in the actual house bc#him and the roommates umm. did all that. Okay well now ive sort of freaked it by making myself think of that so im going to go stare#longingly at the floorplan i did#bc umm. well ideally id like to move into one of the apartments thats right across the way bc theres a couple of apt buildings like right#there 5 min walk tops and one of the places Has an open one but no floorplan#i wont be movjng out for ages i just wanted to look at floorplans yk#but like i said no floorplans BUT theres one a bit further away not rly walkable bc its umm#youd have to walk on the interstate and stuff and um. no sidewalk and everything but theeeeeeeeee thing had a floorplan#still very close by like 2 min drive but yk. but i still did my little mockup floorplan with that apartment instead#i want it to be closeby so everybody can come visit and so that i dont die and explode . i dont rly want to continue living in this town#4ever once km like Normal and have savings and ive got everything worked out i wanna maybe move to chicago or something since il is better#for the transgenderisms. + ive always wanted to try living in a big city at least once and i think itd be awesome#but thats Ages and ages away like maybe 5 years depending on how good i am. weeee will see if 5 years in the future is like on the table 4#me LOLLLL 24 year old connor seems rly crazy to imagine. but anyways....#but itll be nice to move out and still be in town bc then i can have the same job yk . and maybe ill know how to drive atp and i can like .#buy a car ..or something . if i do know how to drive#which i probably should since this town very car dependent and i dont want my mom to have to drive me to work esp if umm. i dont live with#them ... im just rly rly rly rly rly fucking scared of driving but i know also in my heart that when i do know how to drive the bond between#me and that car will be crazyyyy like. idk how many of you followed me last year but you may remember my insane bond with angel my cart from#work and there was a lot gokng on woth that <- was Very delusional at the time and i was convinced that she was a sentient thing and had the#power to make my life better or worse if i upset her so i said good morning and goodnight to her every single day so that i could have a#good day . looking back on it probably was something to be concerned abt but whatever.... she is still my best friend and i do miss her#deeply#her bathtub and heater were my besttt friends when i was in wa LOL. i was quite unwell#bathtub is still in my room tho yayyy. heater lives with lamp now and angel is of course at my old job....#bathtub currently is holding a project i gave up on. everyone say thank.you bathtub im looking at her right now
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i really do hate jjk
#i just can't quit this fucking fandom#but i hate this series now#like the core narrative issues drive me insane#everyone deserved better#especially yuuji deserved better#the culling games is such a pointless??? arc???#that stalls progression of both the narrative and yuuji's character development#i know everyone's loving the new chapter but honestly i dont think its earned#i think gege skipped the best time he had to actually allow sukuna and yuuji time to breathe as characters#but its more than that#nothing about the culling games narratively leads into this finale#its a complete waste of space#everything about this feels so unearned becuase gege also didn't give anyone except like...nanami's death time to breathe#and don't get me started on nobara#gojo's death i would've been fine with if he hadn't played it as shock value#that's not even the thing that made me nope out#it was choso's death#and the immediate whiplash to todo's entrance#which was so fucking infuriating#like at least when nobara died we got time to sit with that and for yuuji to have feelings before todo came in#but here its like oh no are you sad well NOT ANYMORE look its TODO#to the complete BULLSHIT that was yutajo#i love tragedy but tragedy needs to say something#its gotta be worth it#this just feels like pointless nihilistic bullshit#and that's what im not here for#it makes me mad when gege writes good character interactions now because its like#we could've had this the whole time#you're so good at this#but you just fucking refuse to
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bro why does my art suck SO bad lately. i cant take it anymore!!!!!!!!
#💾#every time i want to draw i either cant draw at all#or i spend hours drawing just to get to the part where i need to color it and realize i dont like iiiiiitttt and dont know how to render it#bc unfortunately it is. hard to render something u dont like!#but fuck dude idk what to do anymore#even the stuff i kinda like i end up not being able to finish????????#ive abandoned so many things i genuinely wanted to finish lately haha wheeeee#and it's driving me crazy bc i just want to like. make stuff#and i have so many ideas built up in my head for stuff i want to draw but nothing comes out right :') making me a lil insane i think#plus i want to draw stuff before i finish the game so i keep postponing playing bc my art motivation is fleeting so i gotta Grab It#so im actively not doing things i want to do in hopes of being able to finish something. and then i dont finish it#which leaves me with this empty feeling of 0 payoff for any of the hours of work i did#and idk not being able to finish a single piece ive started in the past few months is rly getting to me. idk what im doinggggg#why cant i draw anymore man!!! i have inspo and motivation!!! this shit sucks!!!!!#that one lucanis doodle is literally the only thing ive been able to finish in months#and i still look at it and realized i missed some stuff so i dont even like it. lmao#idk i think maybe i need to die. my art career is cooked i think
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