#i dont know if you want this pre contract

[voxnetwork]

@poisonedspider asked:

❝ well, i can think of some ways to wear you out. ❞ (Valentinooo)

"Oh, can you now, Angelito?" Valentino smirked, blowing out some of the smoke in his direction before leaning back on his couch. "How about you come over here and show Papi just how you are going to do that."

[jinwoosbabyboo]

𝑨 - 𝑳𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓

My headcanons of the LADS Men w/ a Singer/Idol reader [Requested by: liz9898]

𝚉𝚊𝚢𝚗𝚎

He's a doctor before anything else, but he's making it to every show that he can

Tends to make it to your rehearsals more than your actual shows

wants to read over your contract with your label before you sign anything

always has flowers delivered to your dressing room on the day of your show

He owns every album and ep

"You know you don't have to buy the physical copies right? I can give them to you for free" "Yes I do I'm your number 1 fan will you sign this?"

loves surprising you when you're getting off stage with a small gift or flowers in hand

sets his favorite song as your ringtone

sexy dance with a partner? Absolutely hates it! "Do you have to do that part with him?" "He doesn't touch me Zayne it's just a body roll" "I'm not a fan"

when he can't make it to your show he livestreams it

buys you a bracelet with his name and birthstone "Wear this so you think of me" "Is this so everyone will know I'm taken?" "Thats only a plus"

plans his days off around your return dates when you go on tour

always sends an encouraging texts or calls before your shows

if you dont want your picture taken by paparazzi and he's with you he'll cover every lens with a sheet of ice

comes to your studio sessions when he can and if he can't make it he'll sit on the phone with you.

𝚁𝚊𝚏𝚊𝚢𝚎𝚕

FANBOY FANBOY FANBOY

He's buying every album and ep and damn near setting up a shrine for you

He's at every single show

he has the option to be backstage or front row vip section he's front row 90% of the time

Captures the best angles of you while you're performing

Knows every single word to every song he's singing his little heart out right along with you

That fan page with 2 million followers? Thats his. Those fan edits that keep going viral for how good they are? Thats him.

He's backstage with you massaging and helping with ice packs to cool you down.

"Ice cold water isn't good for her vocal cords bring us room temperature!" suddenly he's the boss?

showers you in compliments after your shows and don't worry if your pre-show nerves start getting to you he's right there gassing you up

Now a sexy dance with a partner? he's not feeling it "I swear he wants to do a little more than dance" "well that would be shocking since his boyfriend is also my backup dancer" "Oh ._."

would 100% pack up and throw himself onto that tour bus the minute you ask if he wants to come with you

covering your face from paparazzi when you don't want your picture taken

those crazy stalkers and haters that are trying to harm you? strange how they keep disappearing huh

flowers and gifts before and after every show

sketches and or paints during your studio sessions; will spend all night/day in there with you he doesn't care he loves watching you and the process

𝚇𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚎𝚛

supports you in every thing you do he's almost like you're personal bodyguard though

"no pictures" he says calmly as he places his hand on the lens of a pap who was hiding scaring the person shitless because how did he see him and how did he get there so fast

waits patiently backstage so he can carry you back to your dressing room

surveys the crowd silently even though you have security

follows all your fan pages and constantly scouring the internet for any bad press or hate so he can get rid of it

stands outside your dressing room while you rest so no one disturbs you "Xav get in here stop scaring my crew!"

goes over every minor detail with your label and publicity manager when a tour is brought up

tried to cook for you one time while on tour .... your manager nixed that expeditiously

that sexy dance you had with a partner? he got so jealous that you had your choreographer change the dance so he would stop sulking

prefers to carry you around because "you work so hard on stage"

changes your shoes for you and kisses your knee every time

takes naps in the studio when you're recording

𝚂𝚢𝚕𝚞𝚜

this man is a mafia leader you think he has time to keep up with your hectic schedule? You bet your ass he does! Priorities baby and you're number 1

he is going over your contract with your label before you sign anything

you're going on tour? He's buying you the best and most comfortable tour bus money can buy

helps you in and out of costume changes

waits backstage with a pair of fluffy slippers and a bottle of water "You were amazing Miss Idol"

tries to sing your songs all the time "Hey baby who sings that?" "You." "Let's keep it that way"

Your dressing room, tour bus, and hotel rooms are always flourishing with gifts

Constantly praises you

follows your fan pages

either gives you a massage or has massages schedule for you to keep you nimble.

buys a recording studio for you so you don't have to pay the ridiculous studio fees

the twins end up becoming two of your backup dancers

gets rid of pictures online that you dislike; stops paparazzi from taking pictures by ruining the cameras with his evol

dont even worry about a stalker or crazy fan with malicious intent Sylus & the twins got that ass taken care of

[artoodeetootired]

dress

📖 she’s been his best friend since they were pre-teens; he was a rebellious, unrelenting, and aspiring racer, while she was a witty, energetic, and hopeful journalist. but after all these years, she can’t help but question whether they could be more- despite the challenges that come with her feelings.

💭 op!81 x fem!journalist, best friends to lovers (smau)

🎧 dress - taylor swift

🃏masterlist🃏

🥀 “say my name n everythin just stops. i don’t want u like a best friend. only bought this dress so u could take it off…” 🥀

ty for the love on my first smau ! here’s the next per the last poll’s fav choice :) warning: lots & lots of typos/underlying delulu cringe

Twitter

Instagram

ynuser posted a story 6s

Liked by landonorris, logansargeant, fbsfuser, and others

Replies

landonorris: solidarity queen ✊🏼

-> ynuser ✊🏼

oscarpiastri: u are actually insane

-> wow this is so nice of you.

-> such a great best friend .

-> an even better journalist.

-> ynuser anything to humble u while i am in this industry 🫶🏻

user: you are UNHINGED

logansargeant: careful yn, your favouritism is showing

-> ynuser: it's part of my contract. im the comedic relief of f1 journalism

-> logansargeant: but doesn't will buxton naturally do that

-> ynuser: now THIS convo could get me fired. shoo logan.

-> logansargeant LOLL

mclaren: just 'cause we love you, we'll let this slide

-> ynuser: 🫶🏻😸

fbsfuser: send my fuck you's to them both :D

-> ynuser: already on it 🫡

iMessages

Instagram

oscarpiastri

Tagged: landonorris, mclaren, ynuser

oscarpiastri great start to the season @mclaren 💪🏼

the same can't be said about a particular someone tho... betting someone should get fired.

📸: @ynuser

Liked by mclaren, landonorris, ynuser, and 609,993 others

View all 21,008 comments

landonorris i dont support bullying, but exceptions can be made if it's towards you

ynuser if karma doesn't get u first then either stroll or i will

-> user oh my GOD 💀

-> user shots fired LMAOOOO

-> oscarpiastri i'd rather karma than u and...

mclaren and we thought lando was our only pr liability

-> landonorris wait WHAT

-> oscarpiastri that's a bit too insulting towards me

-> ynuser this doesnt include me.... right?

fbsfuser boy if you don't take this down...

logansargeant oscar is this meant to be retribution for her story earlier?

-> oscarpiastri so what?

-> landonorris that's kinda overdramatic compared to what she posted wow

ynuser i would also like to say that this stanky man tried to go out for dinner right after his race 🤢

-> georgerussell scandalous 😨

-> carlossainz55 not very smooth of you oscar

-> alexalbon not smooth.

-> danielricciardo not smooth.

-> charlesleclerc not smooth.

-> maxverstappen1 not smooth.

-> fbsfuser i think, and hear me out, maybe you're in the wrong here oscar

-> ynuser and this is why we were both wearing masks on track

-> oscarpiastri too far. you've gone TOO far.

Instagram: 10/03-21/03

ynuser posted a story 10s

Liked by yukitsunoda0511, landonorris, georgerussell, and others

Replies

yukitsunoday0511: i will get you back one day.

-> ynuser: ngaww 😹

oscarpiastri: u are tho

-> ynuser: ik

->oscarpiastri: wait. are you?

danielricciardo: mind giving me an extra mic so i can do this when youre not with us?

-> ynuser check ur driver's room ;)

landonorris: how did he know 😨

-> ynuser: we been knew lan

oscarpiastri posted a story 7s

Liked by landonorris, logansargeant, fbsfuser, and others

Replies

ynuser: there's no way you pulled out a photo from when we were 13.

-> oscarpiastri: full on war. what are you gonna do about it?

-> ynuser: watch me

landonorris: u have to give this pic to me.

-> oscarpiastri: LMAO ty for joining my side

-> landonorris: no no, don't be mistaken. im against both of you.

-> oscarpiastri: mate what?

carlossainz55: u guys should just kiss already

-> oscarpiastri: carlos NO

mclaren: you're really trying to blackmail a journalist who has resources at her disposal? 😮

-> oscarpiastri: ...yes...

ynuser posted a story 3s

Liked by maxverstappen1, pierregasly, alexalbon, and others

Replies

alexalbon: congrats on winning soldier

-> ynuser ✊🏼

oscarpiastri: HOW DO U HAVE THESE PHOTOS ALREADY

-> ynuser: i like how u still underestimate my job then suffer because of it :)

pierregasly: these go hard 🔥

landonorris: well at least it's not as embarrassing for me. but a HEADS UP WOULDVE BEEN NICE

-> ynuser: bro dont even try ik you've been saving bad pics of me from oscar -.-

mclaren: we hope u enjoyed the pics!

-> ynuser: i owe u guys one fr 🙏🏼

Round 3 (22/03-24/03): Australia

ynuser

Tagged: f1

ynuser round 3 in australia!!!! 🇦🇺🦘❤️ amazing to be back on home base, and even better to see danny ric and pastry fight it out for the podium! (actual, professional, and correct news coming from me on @f1 tv 🫡)

ossie ossie ossie! oi oi oi! get it? 'cause ossie is like aussie and... okay. i'll stop.

Liked by mclaren, fbsfuser, danielricciardo, and 611,805 others

View all 21,008 comments

mclaren ty for providing us with baby pastry pics 🫡

-> ynuser pleasure doing business with u 🫡🫡

-> oscarpiastri excuse ME

oscarpiastri haha. so funny. at least u have stand up comedy since journalism may not work out :)

-> ynuser so you admit im funny 😸

-> oscarpiastri don't flatter urself.

-> landonorris nah mate, that sounded like defeat

f1 this commentary is fine 👍🏻

-> user LMAOOOO

user danny ric placing in his home base is such a dream come true 😭

-> user yeah im glad it isnt just a dream anymore

user cutiessssss

-> user them driving around the circuit in a golf cart must've been chaotic

-> logansargeant u have no idea...

user she's hilarious ilysm

-> fbsfuser back off fam she's mine ✋🏼

-> user i need to know how she got this job cause it is THE dream fr

-> fbsfuser yeah it really is a wonder given how many lectures she slept thru...

-> ynuser OI

danielricciardo 🫶🏻

-> user CONGRATS HONEY BADGER!!!

user can oscar fight???

-> user girl what are u talking about they aint tgt

-> user they aren't???

-> user no bruh theyre just besties

user watch me at the next race rizzin her up

Twitter

iMessages

Instagram Messages

landonorris: yn

-> yn

-> yn

-> yn

ynuser: bruh WHAT

landonorris: it's important

ynuser: lando i don't have time to answer whether a new pair of pants make u look flat

-> go ask osc

landonorris: ok first of all: a good pair makes a huge difference.

-> and second, it's about osc

ynuser: did smth happen to him?????

landonorris: no, sorry

-> shouldn't have led with that

-> i sent u a post on twitter

-> but just, read carefully k?

Twitter

Instagram Messages

ynuser: oh

landonorris: u see it?

ynuser: yeah

landonorris: are u okay?

ynuser: yeah im just surprised

landonorris: so you didn't know about it either?

ynuser: obviously not

landnorris: im sorry yn :(

ynuser: why? it's not like he owes me anything lol

-> im happy he started dating again in fact

-> was getting worried lol

landonorris: u sure u good?

-> doesn't really sound like u are

ynuser: im fine

-> plus i need to stay professional. i still have a job and there are crazy fans and all

-> thanks anyways lan

landonorris: alright, im here to talk if u need

-> so is the rest of the grid tbh

❤️ Liked by ynuser

iMessage

Instagram: 03/04

ynuser

Tagged: urmumuser

ynuser a little break back home with the parents doesn't hurt 🌊

@f1's the best for letting me regenerate lost brain cells <3

Liked by f1, fbsfuser, racerbia, and 702,009 others

View all 53,197 comments

f1 we got ur back queen ✊🏼

-> user in the middle of all the drama, this could mean so many things...

-> user well im gonna take it as them sayin that theyre on the right ship :)

user ngl guys the distance rn is probably 'cause yn and osc so close, especially with osc dating brianna, like she probably did it out of respect for them. no one wants to be 'the girl he told me not to worry about' yk.

-> user allegedly dating*

-> user allegedly dating*

user omg the parallelism to brianna with the surfboards 😭

-> user we've truly reached peak delulu i love it

landonorris enjoy ur break from a grid of shitheads 💪🏼

-> carlossainz55 speak for urself

wbuxtonofficial how am i going to handle them without you 0.0

-> ynuser well, not to state the obvious, but drivers are just... humans.

-> georgerussell hilarious

racerbia gorgeous girl 🧡

fbsfuser take me with u 😔

Round 4 (05/04-07/04): Japan

mclaren

Tagged: oscarpiastri, landonorris, vindiesel, and mrodofficial

mclaren A little surprise for our papaya boys as they come back from their Friday practices! 🤫 Here's to hoping we go fast and furious in the land of sakura 🌸

Liked by f1, ynuser, racerbia, and 851,092 others

View all 60,004 comments

user the lack of yn's interactions with the whole grid is actually making me glitch throughout this weekend. and it's only friday 💀💀

user omggggg van diesel and michelle rod!!!!!!

user they really be spoiling osc lolll

user it's so weird to see an interview without yn

iMessages

Instagram

mclaren

Tagged: oscarpiastri

mclaren H A P P Y B I R T H D A Y @oscarpiastri!

Our baby driver is 23 today, here in Japan! Drive well, birthday boy! 😎🌸

Liked by f1, fbsfuser, racerbia, and 905,874 others

View all 35,621 comments

user happy birthday ossie!!!

landonorris: our baby is growing up so fast

-> f1 we must shrink him.

user wow she must be pissed if she took her first annual leave during this totally coincidental time

-> user fr sis is fooling no one.

-> user this feels like such a bad omen omg 😭

-> user guys maybe our bestie yn just really needed a break... haha...

briannawood_ happy birthday osc ❤️

-> user oh my god

-> user she actually exists

-> user girl what are you doing here

-> user ayo???

alexalbon happy birthday!!!!!!!!!!!

lilyhme HAPPY BIRTHDAY OSC

fbsfuer hbd

-> user oh-

ynuser

Tagged: oscarpiastri

ynuser to the one who vexes me, encourages me, n supports me sm, happy 23rd birthday. i've known you since your rebellious days, trying to prove to the rest of the world how your dream was worth fulfilling, and i'm grateful to have been with you to this very stage of your life. from re-watching cars and fast n furious for over a decade, to re-watching ur races and my interviews, know that i'll always be there, on or off track, no matter what. to the bane of my existence, from ur twin devil x

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user oh im gonna be sick is she the one who told f1 to invite vin diesel and michelle rod 😭💔

-> user u are spitting facts but in this case facts should not be facting because this is actually making me hyperventilate by all the drama rn

user no im sorry but why does this sound more like a goodbye than a hbd note

user yn trying to prove that she's actually a great write when she wants to be

-> user and SHE IS 😭😭😭

user the way she doesn't sound like herself AT ALL wtf is going on

user this sounds like a very strange way of resigning 💀

-> user YOU TAKE BACK WHAT U SAID RN

Comments on this post have been limited.

Twitter

Round 5 (19/04-21/04): China

ynuser

Tagged: f1

ynuser im back 😈 lovely weather here in china as we start round 5's quali day!! let's get back to it 💪🏼

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f1 she's back!

user oh my god i thought we were never gonna see her ever again

lewishamilton missed our fav presenter

-> georgerussell frfr!!

-> mclaren actually ☝🏼 she was and will always be OUR fav

fsfbuser welcome back gorgeous <3

user well... the good news is that she sounds normal again

-> user nah bruh im right here in the paddock and she looks nervous/twitchy af

user the besties obvie haven't made up yet 😪

-> user or maybe they never will...

oscarpiastri come on back over to our pit, you left before i finished changing ?

-> user oH WTF

-> user this shit is actually going to be the death of me

-> landonorris i thought we agreed that i'd call her? 🤨

-> charlesleclerc hush for a little while she's over at ours rn

-> user this is too funny

-> user is this a pr trick or some shit 'cause IT'S NOT FUNNY ANYMORE

Twitter

Instagram

oscarpiastri

Tagged: ynuser

oscarpiastri you are never escaping me ever again.

(forgive my impulsive actions tonight everyone, i swear im only ever like this around her)

Liked by landonorris, fbsfuser, ynuser, and 1,397,819 others

View all comments

francisca.cgomes SHUT THE FRONT DOOR. FINALLY.

-> lilymhe I KNOW RIGHT

-> pierregasly oscar can be so oblivious sometimes...

-> fbsfuser boy he was blind, deaf, and dumb for as long as i've known them. like pick a struggle??

-> landonorris i second this

logansargeant kinda giving serial killer vibes but u two are cute enough to forgive that

-> ynuser 🤪

-> maxverstappen1 i can finally go back to the garage in peace without u following me to talk my ear off

-> oscarpiastri u knew this whole time??

user i am going insane.

-> user maybe i hit the blunt too good this time...

-> user @landonorris and @fbsfuser u guys are the gods of all wingmen.

user oh thank god he wasn't actually dating brianna

-> user our queen and king can come back stronger and better now 😩

user your honour, nvm, my parents just got back tgt :D

ynuser 10 years, both of us having a nasty high school relationship each, and a rumour bomb that exploded from underneath me... i think i have every right to try and escape again.

-> oscarpiastri this was not funny when u first said it, and it will never be.

-> logansargeant ok but it kind of is

user my fav writer inspo is now my fav driver's wag MY HEART

landonorris thank god i dont need to listen to the both of you whining anymore

-> ynuser who said we're stopping 🤨

-> oscarpiastri you can't escape me either lando.

-> landonorris this is foul @mclaren i suggest you give me a raise for keeping ur other driver in check

-> f1 haha no.

mclaren thank god we don't have to whisper every time we see something suspicious now

-> redbullracing im ngl, same.

-> astonmartinf1 we once had to watch while they bantered with each other for 10 minutes 🧍🏻‍♀️

-> scuderiaferrari not that it's a competition, but they were always close to pecking each other whenever they were here

-> alexalbon wait why were they even in any of these garages??

-> mclaren ask oscar why he keeps following her...

user that interview was INSANE

-> user i don't think i've ever seen such a surreal confession oml

Twitter

a/n: lowkey cringey hehe. this was supposed to involve a wedding (for a mclaren engineer not oscyn loll) where they'd all be dressed up (you know... DRESS) but i reached the pics limit 💀 honestly i would've written this out as a one shot or smth but once i start i will never stop... and i have my ibdp math final 😭

[electricalhuzzah]

You know who the relationship reveal is gonna be objectively insane for? Soos.

Like yeah Dipper’s gonna be furious but also he knows Bill and Ford have a history so it’s not necessarily the biggest shock. Soos doesn’t know they have any more of a backstory than Bill and the rest of the family so from his POV he brought this messed up triangle home and Ford immediately started fucking him with no preamble. If you don’t already know they’re exes who never got over each other that must be *nuts*

my good man you keep hitting the nail on the head with this shit.

to be fair, with or without the history, ford basically started fucking bill with no preamble within what? five(ish) hours of making eye contact? granted the pines don’t necessarily know that they hatefucked on bill’s first day of being human.

i didn’t mention this in the story, but in the fic, the book of bill never made it out past theraprism security measures. so the pines never got it, and they don’t know about the missing pages unless they were told. thus, the degrees of awareness amongst the pines are as follows. NOBODY CONSIDER THIS CANON TO THE FIC yet BC im still plot mappin and shit and i dont want to accidentally commit an incontinuity. ok here we go.

while dipper knew about the history between bill and ford (from the last mabelcorn i think? whichever one they done the brain scanner), i’m operating under the impression that he believed them to be advanced colleagues. somewhere between a professor-student relationship and a deity-worshipper relationship. he knew it was fucked up, but he thought it was like,,, normal fucked up.

mabel is still under the impression that bill is just hung up on his deity ex “bjorn.” ford never really got around to telling her about their history, and frankly he never really wanted to. so she also has no preamble, AND she thinks bill is just rebounding with her grunkle.

stan probably has the most context out of all them, and even that’s not a whole lot. during their sea ventures pre-fic, ford probably said something to the effect of “my relationship with bill was, in a few instances… less than professional and more than platonic. now, please, stanley, can we leave it at that?” then they got drunk and emotional and ford said a bit more than he likely should’ve. by the next morning, they were deeply hungover. ford didn’t remember saying anything; stan thinks he remembered something about someone loving a triangle and torture and eye stealing, but then again, he also seems to remember playing strip poker with a mermaid, so he’s not entirely sure how much was real.

soos. dear soos. we love soos. he’s got no context. he thought they HATED each other. and he’s begun to see bill as his employee/mentee/child who’s tryna do better. soos is reading those contracts with the theraprism to make sure he won’t get his probation officer/parental rights revoked on the grounds that his paternal figure’s brother is fuckin the convict/patient.

im keepin my mouth shut about melody for now.

OK PEACE AND LOVE AND CORNDOGS

[chaotic-iguana]

Tease

Based on this ask here. Here’s my masterlist and ao3 link.

Summary: Reader teases Joel all day, seemingly getting away with it until a few days later when he decides to get his payback, with a little bit of angst and plot sprinkled in. based on above request. (no/pre-outbreak AU.)

Pairing: husband! joel x reader (no use of y/n)

Wordcount: 4k (yeah i know. i know)

Warnings: bondage, dacryphilia, edging/denial, overstim, mean daddy dom! joel basically just fixing your attitude, smut and fluff, a little angst but its ok he takes care of it, implied/referenced age gap, husband! joel, soft joel but also most importantly malewife! joel ofc. MDNI please

A/N: so i went way off the prompt here and fleshed this out into a whole fic (my longest one yet actually); i hope you dont mind. i did change some elements, but it is still a pre-outbreak fic with an established relationship, and joel does technically punish reader for the pool party. i sprinkled some (~2k words) plot in to sort of have the forgetting about it element yk? and also im just feral for husband joel so this was an extremely experimental fic. i really hope you like it! 

——————————————————————————————————

So far, it had been a really good day.  Your newly-moved-in next door neighbors invited you, Joel, and Sarah over (along with half the block) for their housewarming party. For the first two or so hours, you sat on a reclined chaise next to the pool, watching Sarah splash around with the kids down below while Joel sat next to the grill with the other men, drinking a beer and in a seemingly animated conversation with someone. 

You wanted to laugh at the scene, witty comments about white men crowding to gossip about one of their three common interests - football, grilling or women - sitting just on the tip of your tongue while you chatted with Mia, your long-time neighbor and friend. Lying in the sun with a mimosa in hand, a book on one side of you and a companion on the other made something itch in your brain; a need to break the comfortable lethargy that had set in your bones. 

You were just this close to melting into the lawn chair out of boredom - lifting your head to scan your surroundings for Joel again, squinting underneath a furrowed brow when you can’t seem to find him. He was just there. Huffing, you grabbed the overshirt you had on-his flannel, actually, and pulled it up over your head. Gesturing for Mia to pass over the sunscreen, you took some out in your hand before starting to rub it in circles all over your arms, chest, stomach and legs. 

You were about to turn and try and get some on your back as well, when a man you don’t remember meeting before walked up to you and asked if he could “help you out”. You stuttered and told him it was alright, your husband would do it for you, swiveling your head to find him but gritting your teeth when once again, you couldn’t find Joel. Growing increasingly irritated, you turned to your friend, rolling your eyes at her teasing grin. “Where is he?” you mused, equal parts irritated with Joel for going MIA and with the creepy man you could see still hovering just a few steps away. “Why don’t you go find him? I’ll look after Sarah and yell for you if something happens,” she offers, smiling with a knowing glint in her eye. 

He’d been busy with some big construction contract these past two weeks, and the one morning you thought he’d be able to spend with you was spent with him passed out on the couch; apparently Tommy had needed to be bailed out late the previous night and he’d slipped out while you were sleeping. You missed Joel. He should have been the one helping you with sunblock, not some random guy-John, you’d learned, from two streets down with a chihuahua and a dentistry clinic not too far-who also evidently lacked the ability to shut up, because now your head was swimming with useless things about him he’d offered up to catch your attention, obviously thinking your “husband” was an excuse to end the conversation. 

So maybe you conveniently forgot to put the shirt back on and decided to find Joel in your skimpy swimsuit. Maybe you even batted your lashes at a few of the men gathered on the other side of the pool, and laughed a bit too sweetly and easily at their terrible jokes and obvious flirting. Just as you were about to ask if they’d seen where Joel went, the man himself materialized behind you. You felt a possessive hand grip your waist as he peered at the guys you were talking to with something in his gaze  aggressive enough to suddenly make all the men stuttering, bumbling fools who were instantly unable to meet your eyes, sheepishly muttering excuses before turning back to each other. Suppressing a grin, you turned to him and brought a hand up to his cheek, peering up at him through your lashes. “So evasive, Mr. Miller. I was having such a hard time finding you, I had to settle for spending some time with other people, instead.” You watched his gaze get darker, hardening as he trailed it over your form. Got him. 

“Let me introduce you to my new friend, John. He’s a dentist and he has the cutest dog,” you grip his wrist and tug him behind you before waving at John enthusiastically and walking up to him. John, you found, was also a complete idiot, because he choked on a greeting when he caught sight of your nipples through the swimsuit. Nevertheless, you persisted. “Meet my husband, Joel.” You point at John, explaining to Joel “Y’ know he’s also really kind? Offered to help me apply my sunblock without me asking. I was struggling with my back and chest, wasn’t I John?” you turn back to the man in question with another deceivingly charming smirk, watching him wither under Joel’s scowl and nod meekly; mumbling an apology and slinking towards the drinks. 

Catching sight of Joel’s thunderous expression, you innocently raise a brow at him before stretching exaggeratedly, palming his bulge subtly as you move your hands over your head. “Sitting around in all this heat, think I need to cool off for a bit. See ya later” is all you offer to him, slipping into the adults’ side of the pool before he can retaliate, biting your lip in an effort not to snicker at the frustration teeming from him: clenched fists and tightened jaw, narrowed eyes and furrowed brows. He let out a long, shuddering breath before waving back to Sarah and stalking back to his friends. 

Overall, the party was pretty boring. But holding Joel’s gaze every time you bent forward just a littlemore than necessary, giggled at someone’s musings more than was warranted, or bit your lip in that way you knew drove him crazy before turning away from him and back to whoever you were speaking to? Priceless. You’d be willing to pay to do it again. 

His breaking point was when he saw you get out of the pool, water dripping from your hair and mascara smudged just enough to send images of you with his cock down your throat flashing in his mind - him slamming his beer bottle down before smiling tightly at his companions and thanking the hosts, grousing something about an early morning before his hand was around your wrist and Sarah bundled in his other arm - barely giving you any time for goodbyes as you were being dragged behind him in the direction of your home. 

Laughing at his desperation, you cocked a questioning brow at him before feighning naïvety to the situation. “What’s wrong? I thought you were kept plenty busy at the party, no? Why’re we leaving so soon?” you questioned, capturing your bottom lip between your teeth as you frowned at him and searched his face. “Not early. Been five hours, sweetheart. ‘S a school night, remember?” was all he remarked to you before opening the door and carrying Sarah up to bed. 

You honest-to-God waited for him in bed, but the fatigue from such a thrilling evening caught up quickly after the adrenaline faded. Before you knew it, you’d fallen asleep in your new set of lingerie, blinking awake when your alarm went off at 5 am the next morning. Blearily pulling yourself out of bed, you groaned in frustration at the fact that you still hadn't gotten time with Joel and it was Monday again. Which inevitably meant he'd be caught up in his important contract this week too; coming home late, leaving early, the whole spiel.

The week passed by in a monotonous blur, and you got increasingly snappier with Joel in the short minutes that you did see him, frustrated with the distance that had developed between you two. On top of everything at home, work had gotten more stressful lately as sales didn’t meet the quotas and your boss decided to take it out on all of you. Normally, it wouldn’t have bothered you; he was a dick to you most of the time, but you couldn’t even rant about it to your favorite person because you barely saw him. You needed Joel - not just on top of you - holding you, talking to you, comforting you as before. 

Friday rolled around, and turned out to be extremely shitty while it was at it. Your alarm didn’t go off, thanks to which you reached work thirty minutes later than usual after dropping Sarah off. Some intern had fucked up paperwork, and the fallout was promptly handed to you with a jeering tone and sharp glare as if it was somehow your fault. You’d forgotten lunch at home, so you had to spend the day on stale coffee and somehow bitter biscuits, and when you reached Sarah’s school to pick her up as usual they told you Joel had done it already. Feeling tears of frustration build up in your eyes, you dialed his number while climbing back into your car. Was it so difficult to communicate simple things like ‘I’ll pick her up today’? A text or quick call would have worked; saved you the trip and your boss’s biting remarks about your “priorities” while you walked out of the office to get to Sarah’s school in time. 

When he didn’t pick up, you drove straight home. Fuck going back to work. You needed your bed. And Joel, but he clearly was too busy to so much as pick up a fucking phone. Wiping your eyes, you slammed the car door shut and started trudging to your bedroom, too overwhelmed to notice that the door had been unlocked. Jumping, you gasped in surprise when you walked it and saw Joel sitting on the bed, holding two wine glasses and looking up at you. “What the fuck, Joel? What are you doing here?” you bit out at him. He blinked up at you, frowning at your anger and the tear-stains on your cheek while you glared at him with eyes red from crying. 

“Told the boys to handle it today, thought you looked a bit rough lately, wanted to spent the evening together. Dropped Sarah off at her friend’s house an’ was just about to call you to take the day off. You okay?” his tone was so gentle, concern evident in his voice as he reached a hand out towards you. 

“Call me? Oh, so suddenly you’re capable of using a phone?” you bat his hand away and continue “And I’ve been looking rough?” your laugh is bitter, but your anger morphs into something sharper. “Maybe I’d look less rough if I saw my husband more often or if he could just pick up the damn phone and text me when he’s picking our daughter up so I don’t get into deeper shit with my stupid fucking boss!” You’re yelling by the end of it, but you can’t stop the words tumbling out now. “And I’ve missed you so much, tried so hard on Sunday, but you just didn’t come to bed. This week has been absolute dogshit-fucking interns messed everything up and somehow it’s on me-and you’ve been so distant,so I’m so sorry for looking rough, Joel.” Your tears return with a vengeance, and you turn away from him as you feel them spill over your lashline, pressing your hands into your eyes as your shoulders shake.

And suddenly he’s in front of you, solid and warm and there again, crowding you into his arms and holding you tight against him. “I’m sorry, honey. I’m sorry. I know I haven’t been here, and it’s been tearing me apart too. Missed you every damn day, shoulda seen how I’ve been at the site all week. Been snapping at everyone left and right. And I’m sorry I didn’t pick up - my phone was chargin’ an’ Sarah was telling me a story the whole way there so I didn’t see you’d called till just now.” His hand cradles your head under his chin as the other strokes your back, and he’s so gentle you want to cry harder. 

You stay there for a while until you feel calmer, pulling back to look up at him. His eyes are wide, swimming with worry as he wipes your cheeks with his thumb. You sniff, bringing a hand up to swipe your nose, and grimace apologetically at the wet patch of snot, tears and makeup on his chest. At the quizzical way he raises a brow, you clarify, with a grin: “I’ve completely ruined your shirt.”

“Could think of better ways to ruin shirts, baby. An’ don’t think your effort on Sunday went unnoticed either. Was so damn ready to rip that lacy set off ya, but some idiot kid told Sarah a ghost story an’ I had to check under the bed n’ in the closet every two minutes till she fell asleep. By the time I crawled into bed, you were asleep and looking so peaceful I didn’t wanna wake you. ‘M sorry, honey”. His thumb was rubbing circles on your cheek now as he looked down at you, regret written all over his face. 

Softening, you reached up to press a kiss on the corner of his mouth. And another on the other side. And another, until you were just ghosting your mouth all over his face and jaw, giggling when his lips twitched into a smile. “There’s my girl” he whispered into the kisses, making you beam as your kisses got more feverish, more urgent. All the need from the past few weeks came rushing back, making you dizzy with desperation as you caught his bottom lip between your teeth and tugged, moaning softly at the hitch in his breath. 

Suddenly, your wrists were caught by one of his hands and he was stepping back. “Then again, honey, found it really fuckin’ difficult not to notice you at that party when you were teasin’ me all evenin’. Did ya enjoy putting on a show for our neighbors, hm?” his thumb trailed your jaw, fingers curling under your chin as you nodded. “That’s not something good girls do, is it now?” And then he was ducking his head, sucking bruises into your neck and soothing them with his tongue. He chuckled at the whimper that escaped you, his hand coming down to swat your ass. “Answer me, sweet thing. Do good girls go around begging for attention when they know daddy’s gonna take care ‘f them?” the rasp of his voice cut through the haze building in your head as you gasped when he nibbled your ear.

“N-no daddy. Plea-please take care of me,” you whined, trying to pull your hands from his unrelenting grasp as you felt him swat your ass again. He just gripped them harder, nipping at your neck before he pulled away completely, chuckling at your alarmed whimper. 

“Relax, sweetheart. Course ‘m gonna take care of you. But I gotta punish you, too, remember? Didn’t think I forgot John and his adorable dog so quick, did ya?” His smirk became animalistic as he nudged you to the bed, pawing at your clothes to guide you to take them off. 

“Wouldn’t know how it works at your age, old man. Thought your memory mighta started to go by now,” you coo up at him, eager to see him undone. His answering snarl prompted your smirk to widen before he looked down at you with a tight set to his jaw. 

“Got such a mouth on you, babygirl. ‘S okay, I’ll take care ‘f it,” was all the warning you got before his hands were everywhere, groping and grabbing at you while his mouth resumed its assault on your neck. His bites got harsher, making you yelp, and he grinned against your skin before lapping at the near-broken skin before trailing his lips downwards. 

He pinched your nipples harshly, rolling them between his thumb and forefingers before ducking down to catch one between his teeth and tug cruelly, making you release high-pitched moans as your back arched into him. Switching sides, he starts flicking the other one and smoothing over it when you whimper before trailing hot open-mouthed kisses into your sternum and moving down your body to settle with his head between your legs. Turning to the side, he started nipping the inside of your thighs; rolling the flesh between his teeth and sucking at it till they were matted blue and purple. Leaning back to admire his handiwork, he brought his mouth down to press kisses just above your mound, moving back to your thighs before you huffed and bucked your hips. His eyes glinting dangerously, he smiled up at you before tilting his head. “Need somethin’, baby?” his voice was laced with amusement as he drawled the question up at you, watching you buck under him. 

At the stubborn shake of your head, he laughed before dragging a thumb down your folds, holding it up for you to see the slick coating it. "Y'sure, pretty?" you could hear the cockiness creeping into his voice and it just made you needier, whining down at him to do anything. His mouth ghosted over your clit, stubble scratching right there before he moved down to your thigh again, making you wind a hand into his hair and pull, albeit harshly. Tutting, he pushed up onto his elbows. "Wasn't very nice, now was that?” his lips quirked to the side at the sight of your frustration before you stuttered out a pathetic "t-touch me, please", at which he laughed again. 

“Needy little thing. Let’s fix that attitude, hm?” and he pushed off entirely, stalking to the closet and pulling out a tie. Looming over you, he weaved the strip of fabric between your headboard and secured your wrists to it. “Too tight?” he checked, looking down at you to sense any discomfort. When you pulled experimentally to check and showed him it was alright, he went back to his earlier position. Blowing a breath over your cunt, he relished in your squirming before grazing your clit with his teeth and pressing down softly before lapping at it. Pressing kisses against you, he slid a finger inside you and began pumping it at an agonizingly slow pace. Feeling your orgasm approach embarassingly fast, you opened your mouth to warn him, but just as you began clenching against his finger, he pulled away to pull the hood of your clit back and blow on it again, making you keen. 

Smiling, he inserted three fingers into you roughly before using his teeth on your clit again, your sensitivity making you mewl and rock your hips away, but his other hand attached itself to your hip to pin you to the mattress before his fingers began fucking into you in earnest. Pulsating in his mouth, you felt yourself about to clamp down again before he pulled out and away once more. Whining and kicking your legs out in aggravation, you frowned down at him and watched him smirk at your tantrum. 

This time, he kept his head up to maintain eye contact with you while he ground his palm against your clit and squeezed three fingers into you again. Bringing you to the edge once more, he answered your devastated whimper at the denial by slapping your clit in rapid succession, each hit harder than the last and making your thighs twitch. 

He continued for what felt like hours. The sun went down, and with it the lingering scraps of your pride and expectation to come. He edged you until you were a mumbling mess, babbling broken pleas down at him; till your clit was painfully red and swollen and your slick was running down your thighs. Tears were flowing down your face as you bucked your hips in search for his fingers, but his merciless chuckle taunted you again as you sobbed. “P-please, please, ple-please, gonna be g-good, please…” Your voice broke with every word you wailed, and he contemplated for a second before nodding and entering you in a single thrust. 

You could feel the tip of his cock kissing your womb, overwhelming you to the point of pain. A wince marked your features, making him pause and strum your clit  before starting to fuck into you at a brutal pace. You were yanking against your restraints now, eyes rolling back into your head every time he entered into you - hitting the spot that made your thighs begin to shake uncontrollably. 

Your babbles were reduced to mono-syllabic moans, rendering you unable to warn him of the release you felt coiling in you. When you started clenching against him, he just doubled down the force of his thrusts and the movements against your clit, delighting in the way you twitched at the oversensitivity as he drew out your orgasm. “D-daddy, nnh-D-Da-Daddy” was all you could get out as the oversensitivity consumed you, making you go limp as his pace didn’t falter. 

He gripped your chin and leaned forward to spit into your open mouth, eyeing the drool dribble down your chin as your jaw hung slack. “What is it pretty girl? Use your words.” Another thrust. You opened your mouth to answer him, to beg him to slow down, but all that came out was a pathetically shrill “ca-can’t” as he rolled his hips into yours halfway through your word, making you choke. “Eager enough to whore herself out in public, but when she gets what she needs she can’t? Too bad, pretty girl, you’re gonna get it now.” He stopped for a glorious second, reaching down to rest his forehead on yours before planting kisses on your face and forehead to give you a second to breathe. Glancing up at your straining wrists, he pulled at the knot of his tie to free them, then resumed his previous speed. 

Raking your fingers down his back, your eyes fluttered shut at the continued drive of him impaling you on his cock, meeting his mouth in sloppy kisses as his fingers came down to flick over your clit again. “Again.” His command sent a jolt through you, pulling you taut as every cell in your body pushed itself to overdrive to obey and every sensation seemed to multiply tenfold. Joel was everywhere, consuming your entire being, and you felt your joints lock up as your hips arched off the bed before you were cumming devastatingly hard, soaking him with the force of your release. His fingers kept abusing your clit, your whole body jerking with the force of the hypersensitivity. He pressed in impossibly deeper, sobs hiccuping from you and weak hands pushing at his chest. He pressed into you languidly, in slow, deep strokes that left you ruined before gasping in your ear and cumming deep inside you. 

Going limp on top of you, he pressed his face into your neck and lay on you as you both caught your breath - ruining the peaceful moment by looking up at you with a boyish grin and a twinkle in his eye, glancing down at your joined forms and snickering like a child finding much-coveted candy. At the furrow in your brow, he elaborated - “Who knew all it took was a little edgin’ to make you squirt, huh?” And judging by the tone of his voice, you knew it wouldn’t be long before he was going to test that theory. And he did - twenty minutes later. And again. Over and over, until your cunt was convulsing and throbbing with oversensitivity - only then did he pull away, gathering you in his arms and holding you to him before suggesting softly, “Sarah wanted to stay over for the rest of the weekend. Let’s pick her up on Sunday, and how about you and me take some time to ourselves, hm?” You nod into his chest, voice too hoarse to reply, and hum in contentment as he starts stroking your hair. You needed to act out more often. 

hello loves, as always - thank you for reading. comment your thoughts or find me on ao3. stay hydrated and have a great day! taglist: @imherefordeanandbones @breakfastatjoels

[the-s1lly-corner]

Lurker again! Sorry for double requesting but I did not want to lump these in the same ask. Could I also ask for a reader who is like Swan from Phantom of the Paradise? With Narinder please! Thank you!

Narinder x Swan!Reader

pretend im saying something here RAAAAAH RAAAAH- and i dont mind the double req!! always happy to write potp based readers evil laughs notes: reader is gn, reader is any creature, swan as in the character from phantom of the paradise, not swan as in animal but they can be imagined as a swan here, non specified creature for the reader, youre not a follower, pre betrayal narinder, you guys have an undefined relationship, reader owes their soul to someone but its not stated to who they owe it to, reader is not part of a cult theyre kind of doing their own thing, admin didnt have a clear idea of what to do here but! yeah cws: blood/body horror mentions but its very brief

youre both hard to read, though its easier for narinder to understand you due to him having the ability to read minds... though i like to imagine that it took some effort to read it

knows your soul belongs to someone else and lets you know that he knows- you absolutely hate it when he mentions it, sending daggers his way

due to your contract you dont really get hurt or age, so hes going to be stuck with you for a long long time, and the odds of you still being around when hes eventually released from his chains is pretty high if your contract is still in order

youre not at all bothered by your arrangement, though hes very vocal about how if he were in your position he would... hate it, to put it kindly- to have your life and power rely on whoever made the deal with you

funny given his status as a bishop does that, in a different font + his eventual defeat by the lamb putting him in your shoes, kind of

to outsiders it may seem that the two of you despise each other, or perhaps trying to string the other along in order to use for later in some way- however the two of you are...

okay well actually thats a pretty accurate assumption, however there is some fondness shared between the two of you even if both sides will deny it to themselves that you enjoy each others company

he does want you in his cult though, even if you dont give him much faith he knows youre powerful- manipulative, as well, something that can be useful to keep followers in line

narinder 🤝 you

having something to do with your face that makes it either split open or melt off, making a huge mess and getting blood everywhere

sure you cant do yours on command but hey its a nice little similarity- and suuuuuuure yours is a sign that your contract has broken and your body is falling apart and succumbing to rot but hey! you guys are twinning!

hes more emotional- in the sense that he lets his anger get the best of him and get out of control- while youre more cool and calculated, and it really drives him insane when you two get into a disagreement

[willowreader]

I know someone with PEM. They got sick with Covid before vaccinations were available.

This is what this

PhD Dr. says @chydorina (on Twitter X)

This is THE 'to-read' paper if you want to understand the physiological basis behind PEM from activity (Scheibenbogen is one of the authors).

PEM (post-exertional malaise) is a confusing concept for patients but it is not a black box. We do know a lot about what is going on and we definitely know enough to say this this process should not be triggered and this needs to be a priority.

The summary

ACTIVITY LEADS TO:

1. The accumulation of lactate, ROS, and the deprivation of cellular energy sources.

This occurs every time we hit 'go' and perform an activity. If we dont have the juice to complete this activity safely - we get into a cycle where metabolic demand continues to increase and exercise capacity keeps declining. If we keep going and going this cycle get worse and ROS starts damaging the mitochondria.

Practically this means that all future activities would take WAY more energy than they would previously if done at a pre-PEM baseline. The activity at the beginning would use normalish amounts of energy and produce normalish amounts of lactate/ROS etc. just as long as kept under the threshold but further activities would use WAY MORE ENERGY and produce MORE ROS and lactate than they should.

2. The DELAYED EFFECTS which include symptoms getting worse are due to triggering "immunometabolic downstream effects".

This means that the above changes have far reaching consequences on OTHER SYSTEMS FUNCTIONS. Those damaged mitochondria start to effect other basic functions like our immune function and our metabolic function.

3. In a final nail in the coffin the "immunometabolic dysfunction" then triggers problems with ionic imbalance (electrolytes) and triggers more muscle activation, mitochondrial damage, and immune responses.

4. Exceeding already reduced activity capacities enters affected patients into a recurrent and self-propagating loop.

Saying we dont understand PEM and that it is a black box is wrong. We understand a lot. We dont need more information to know that this process should NOT be triggered.

Please read paper.

Towards an understanding of physical activity-induced post-exertional malaise: Insights into microvascular alterations and immunometabolic interactions in post-COVID condition and myalgic encephalomyelitis/chronic fatigue syndrome (2024)

link.springer.com/article/10.100…

[captain-aralias]

giving birth

idk, i'm pretty sure some people wouldn't write a post about going into labour on tumblr, but it's a thing i wanted to write about, so - it's here if you want it! if you'd rather avoid, don't click the read more.

things normal people might want to know outside the cut:

baby is now 11 days old <3 things are generally going well. i sleep between about 11pm and 3am, and then again 8am to 10am

it's been hard to get enough brain together to write a post like this, reply to comments, read fic, etc, as many of my most cogent hours have been visitor hours or hanging out with my partner. the night shift is not a good time to do things that aren't watching TV. i've managed to Read Half a Book (daisy jones and the six - easy going, i like it)

i was going to cosplay him as baby simon snow left at the orphanage, but he looks nothing like simon (much more like baz - currently: grey eyes, reddish-gold skin, dark hair), and also i don't want to write on my baby :o

surprise fourth entry: we think the terrace house next door has been turned into a brothel ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ok - birth stuff after this. not too much gory detail, probs, but some.

the beginning part you already know!

waters broke on thursday 11th, just after i woke up. this was two days after the stitch was removed, and therefore almost certainly related, so hooray for stitch! kept the baby in until 37 weeks.

i'd been worried that i might not realise my waters had broken, as apparently this is totally possible. i am here to tell you - that YES, it is possible. i clocked what it probably was immediately, but also it wasn't a 4 cups of liquid is everywhere sort of deal, it was more like - about half a cup every hour or so. and so i thought - this is probably what is happening, but maybe it's not and i should have done more pelvic floor exercises.

went to hospital. got hooked up to the machine that monitors baby heartbeat and movement. nothing much happening, although heartbeat all ok. the midwife on duty was called 'merlyn' - true story.

she asked me to walk around for a bit and come back, so my partner and i walked to the costa coffee inside the hospital. i ordered one of the new 'bubble' drinks, because i thought - why not? it's sugary and cold, these are things that make babies move. the drink was...... not good. blueberry slushy with cream on top and bubbles that were a) too big to fit through the absolutely normal straw and b) apparently were a cross between blueberries and popping boba. i say apparently as i'd given up by then and my partner ate them.

anyway - this detail included just to show you how surreal and nothingy early labour was. we walked back, hooked back up to the machine. baby now kicking a bit, and merlyn asked me whether i just had a really high pain tolerance and therefore wasn't upset about the contractions. i said, 'i dont know - guess we're about to find out' 🤔

agreed i probably wasn't in labour yet, so i was sent home, but asked to come back at 4.30 for my pre-scheduled scan with the nice doctor who first realised my cervix was open, and who we've seen regularly since (because my partner rang to complain when we had no follow up, and because this doctor was the one who rang us back and then made sure we were seen afterwards. not brilliant work from NHS administrators).

was also told if i didn't go into labour before hand, to come back at 8.30am (24 hours after waters broken) to be induced. given leaflet about induction methods. key take away - could take up to 3 days. sounds terrible.

home for 2 hours, back to hospital for scan.

we were waiting around for about half an hour. shown in - doctor says, 'we've had some difficult patients today, sorry! but you should be easy'. my partner tells her my waters have broken - she's surprised! (but pleased) no one has managed to tell her or put it in any notes, which she just reviewed. again - great job. i do love you NHS, but what is going on? a student midwife is trying to scan me - and has had to deal with all these previous difficult cases. with little amniotic fluid left, her job is basically impossible. sorry :'(

but - waters breaking confirmed! honestly, until that point i was still not sure. doctor says, induction could be offered immediately, but we mostly don't do that as in almost all cases you go into labour before 24 hours. i said thank you again for spotting my cervix being open. weird to think we won't see her again!!

went home. watched the end of 'little dorrit' (overall - it's good. so many famous people. the ending is a bit all over the place, though). about 9pm started feeling period-pain type pain. figured: probably a contraction! definitely did not feel like i expected in that there was no real release. it was just - now you're having a painful period. i called maternity triage again to say there was blood in the water now, and they reminded me that was totally normal (mucus plug, i guess) and to come back when things were serious.

so - i went to sleep.

woke up at about 2am. contractions now serious business, but also still... not as serious as i'd expected. again: basically it felt like period pain, this time crossed with constipation. and then it would go away, and i'd feel totally normal again, which i was not expecting.

we'd been told to come in when the contractions were every 5 minutes for an hour. my contractions were coming about ever 2-3 minutes. after about 20 minutes, i told my partner that i wanted to go to the hospital now, even if we should really wait. this was the RIGHT decision.

i'm the only one who can drive our car. it was obviously not a good idea to drive the car. i called an uber. unfortunately the labour ward is on the other side of the hospital to the main entrance, and doesn't have an address you can give uber..... retrospectively i'd have done better just putting in the street, like i usually did, but i tried to use the labour ward post code. we ended up at the main entrance, which was shut.

erin (my partner) keeps telling people that the uber drive was annoyed i slammed the door of his car, but i honestly do not remember this. the drive was about 10 minutes, during which i alternated between feeling bad and feeling totally fine.

we didn't bother trying to direct the driver to the right part of the hospital, just got out. erin wanted to go and get a wheelchair, but i didn't want to just sit on the ground outside the hospital in the middle of the night while she did that, and i felt completely fine ... except when i didn't.

so we walked to the labour ward. it's about 5 minutes from the entrance. i sat on the floor when the contractions came. then walked again. cool times.

arrived at maternity triage. again, it felt like going there every other time we'd ever been there - my key take away is that most of being in labour was extremely underwhelming. pain was not great, to the extent that i was thinking 'i can see why people don't like labour, maybe this was a terrible idea', but i could still think things like that. they hooked me up to the same machine as they had in the morning, and this time it said - yes, definitely in labour (which i knew, but ho hum - it was doing its best!).

asked to confirm i was a low risk pregnancy. we were like - nope, don't think so. ivf, stitch, isnt that in the notes??

a midwife came over and was like - "WOW, you're 8cm dilated." (of the necessary 10cm) at which point they started to take everything a bit more seriously. but they also described a bunch of pain relief options - and i was like, whatever, give me whatever i can have. and then was told - oh no, you actually can't have pethadine, water birth, or epidural of these as you're too far along. (which i also knew, but then why offer?)

i'd sort of suspected this might be the case, given how my cervix tried to open at 21 weeks. so my birth plan was basically 'whatever'. v glad i hadn't had my heart set on anything in particular.

they wheeled me down the corridor to one of the birthing rooms. they wouldn't let me go to the toilet in case i had the baby in the toilet..... that's how quickly things were happening.

i managed to change into the hospital gown, then got onto the bed. 'this is such a comfortable bed' i told my partner, although later (post birth) i realised that it wasn't... but i appreciated it a lot at the time.

i WAS allowed gas and air, hurrah. i'm extremely keen on doing things that make my life easier, so i accepted, obvs. basically, you breathe in during the contractions, and breathe out of the mask normally when you're not contracting.

THIS made the whole experience very different from just 'intense period pain', in part probably because the pain was ramping up, but also because whenever i wasn't contracting i felt completely off my face from the gas. overall, i thought this was a decent pain relief option. i also liked how breathing in the gas gave me something to focus on while pain was happening and it was a clear signal to everyone else that it was happening.

i probably had about... 5 more before my body was like 'maybe time to push'. (it really did feel different/like an actual urge). midwife told me i couldn't have the gas and air anymore - boo - just focus on pushing when the urge came.

pushed...... but obviously it hurt, so even though they were like 'keep pushing!' i thought, i will just relax because that's less painful. (great job, brain.) but i only faked out twice.

they invited a doctor in, because i was bleeding, and baby's heartrate was dropping. i agreed to the episiotomy because even though i reeeally didn't want that, i obviously would do whatever to get the baby safe.

retrospectively, my partner and i think that probably i was bleeding because i'd just had the stitch out two days before and those wounds had opened. but neither of us thought of it at the time, and no one assisting with the birth had had time to read the notes. (this is a theme of the post, not to be too whingey - but it was a shame). but anyway, the cutting (boo) came with a side of local anaesthetic (HOORAY) so actually it felt like a very good decision at the time, even above baby's safety.

one more contraction, one more push - baby was born in one go.

he's premature-levels of small at 5lb 10oz (5th percentile), even though he's technically full term. this is why erin and i think the bleeding was from the stitch rather than the baby, although one of the midwives suggested perhaps he was holding his arm up next to his face and that made him seem bigger. the scan we got the day before estimated his weight as being more normal, but scans are super unreliable particularly late in pregnancy.

really a very easy birth, as far as i can tell. i had slept through a lot of the early stage. the fear of being at home at not with medical professionals was the worst bit (and we fixed that by just going in even when we weren't sure) and as soon as it was over, i felt immediately fine. the whole thing had taken 2 hours tops. baby born at 4.30am.

i thought i'd cry when they gave me the baby, but actually i was too surprised that he was actually there and alive. (my partner cried.) the umblical cord looks creepy and alien. we'd agreed a medical professional should cut the cord, rather than erin (who wants to do this? they just want dads to feel involved). i got to hold him baby while they gave me the shot to deliver the placenta. barely felt it.

then had to give baby to erin for 30 minutes while a fuck tonne of stitches were put in... the amount of sewing involved was definitely worrying. i'd assumed maybe like... two stitches, but... it was a lot. can't recommend (though could not feel it at the time.)

after that, we just got to hang out in the room. i showered, changed, they brought me (but not erin) some breakfast and lunch. they did tests on the baby, most of which he passed. didn't pass the hearing test but apparently this is normal, as lots of babies have fluid in their ears. we think he can hear as he has startled at loud noises since. all the clothes i'd brought were hilariously too big.

sent home about 12 hours after the birth. could have stayed if we'd wanted to, but definitely did not.

i felt totally fine the entire day of the birth, full of LOTS of adrenalin. second day was also ok. third day was my crash. i got a cold, which was NOT good for my pelvic floor (and which i still have, RIP). my stitches hurt, the sleep debt had kicked in and i was hobbling everywhere, and breastfeeding wasn't going well. before the birth i'd been very much of the opinion that i'd breastfeed if it was easy, but i found it kind of weird and knew the health benefits were exaggerated. (but not completely, obviously). deep in my hormones, i was not able to hold onto this previously rational view. instead, i was thinking - i have no connection to my baby anymore.

i also cried at the song 'making a man' from the musical operation mincemeat (which is NOT an emotional song - but is about someone with the same name as my baby, who i'd just made), the beginning of the movie 'in the heights' (it was just so good!), the ending of the movie 'pride', and i cried again while describing what had happened at the end of 'pride' and how i'd cried.....

bought several breast pumps, fed the baby formula, took a day off from trying to breastfeed, things pretty much fixed for me (except for the crying at movies) by day 5. going to continue with combination feeding (i.e. breastmilk+formula) though, because it just seems insane to have to wake up every time the baby is hungry. what am i, a sadist? and when people are over - how good not to have to get your breasts out... thank you makers of formula.

ANYWAY. we're now on day 11. feels like baby is pretty easy going for a baby, he only cries when he needs something - which i appreciate, as it helps me keep him alive \o/ he will sleep in his basket, but only if he's already asleep. he prefers to be held. he can sleep for 3 hours at a time, but only during the day - at night you're lucky to get 1 hour, and he has been awake for about 2 hours at a time, unlike about 15 minutes average in the day. he smells nice, he wasn't cute-cute when he first came out, but he is getting extremely cute now and i think he looks more like my partner than an unknown donor (although still all to play for, i think). because he's still super small and almost pre-term, his legs and arms are still all curled up like he's in the womb, even though he's been out 11 days. but he's gradually uncurling them and stretching out.

i like holding him. he makes funny faces. he has a LOT of hair - which means the heartburn was right about that one. (n.b. heartburn is linked to hair, this is an old wives tale that is now scientifically proven) think it's going well, overall <3

n.b. i had to pause at this point because baby woke up. what they say about baby boys peeing on you while you change their nappies is 100% accu-rat, but it's quite funny really. we haven't worked out how to stop it because putting a cloth over him makes him hold it in..... and then you remove the cloth....... fine comedy in action.

my bump was very small, so i was able to put my pre-pregnancy jeans back on after only a few days. hooray, i love jeans.

uterine contractions started about day 6 (this is a thing i feel i did not know about before being pregnant myself. 7 days worth of contractions post baby to bring your uterus back in line). wow, it's like MORE PERIOD PAIN. great. there's less blood than i expected, though. i also can't control my temperature well at night - so i'm super hot while asleep, then get out of bed and start shivvering. apparently this is what the menopause will be like. looking forward to that 😅

not much else to add except the brothel stuff. basically 2 nights ago, someone knocked on my front door at 4.30 (same time baby was born!) in the morning as i was sitting up with baby. rang the doorbell, walked round to peer through the window, and then knocked again. i would not have answered - just wanted him to go away, but erin came down and opened the door, which was (it turns out) the right thing to do, but i was not happy about it - as we live in a semi-dodgy neighbourhood, although i've always felt relatively safe as we're off the highstreet and there are often people outside the pub until 1-2am, which is annoying but also feels like they'd see and stop anything bad.

i was running through scenarios like 'and then he breaks in' or 'and then he stabs whoever opened the door' in my mind. instead he just said something like - 'do you know where the whorehouse is?' and erin said 'wtf, it's 3am' and closed the door.

this could have just been a random incident, and indeed i didn't hear him say 'whorehouse' so i thought it was just a drunk guy asking for directions. but once she told me what he'd said, we then realised that the house next door to us... probably is a brothel. it's been renovated by our ex-neighbours and rented out, all the windows are blacked out, including the skylight we can see out of our windows. there's a complex doorbell system, they refuse to take our packages in, they don't have any bins out the front (which is presumably because no one is using the house as a house), and we've definitely heard people having sex through the walls. though erin thinks they've put up sound insulation just in time to not have to hear the baby crying in retaliation.

she's american and leftie and very against cops, so i'm trying not to be a karen about it. i have not reported it to the police, but i have said to erin already that if anything else happens that makes me feel unsafe...... i probably will. the man knocking on the door makes me not want to be awake with the baby in the night, even though nothing happened. (he broke the first rule of secret brothel - you DONT talk about secret brothel). we don't have our ex-neighbours details, so reporting is all we could do. apart from i guess ask them to move.... (won't be doing that, obvs. confrontation? no thanks.)

hopefully it's fine, and they will just move on at some point. VERY weird, though. and not what i need while hopped up on hormones.

glad to have written this post! feels like a good turning point in baby land, being able to write some words even if it's just this stream of consciousness. i also logged back into work Teams to send some pictures. since he was born, have been out with baby to the midwife (in the car), marks and spencers (in the car with pram), boots (in the pram), and today to a hipster coffee shop (in car, baby slept in pram bassinet). might reply to some comments tomorrow. working back up to actually writing some fic or finishing my lego.

also - it's (almost) hitting me that i have 9 months off work. apart from the sleep, i feel like i could go back to work now.... but i WANT the time off. but usually i only take 2 weeks off, and i've done that now... so it's time to go back to work...

i did read a bunch of other messages on Teams/Slack when i was posting the pictures. v hard not to care. even with something much more important to do.

ok - going to eat some food, now. thank you to anyone who read this far! hope it was interesting as well as long.

not tagging this pregnancy as i was doing it so people could block the tag, but people who don't know me literally found my posts and read them. and ... that's not what this is for.

[vialae]

Past life Durge asks for Kaidos:

2. Did they keep anything from their old family and home? A memento or a skill perhaps? 6. Bhaal loves money; did your Durge inherit that trait? Do they enjoy luxuries or try to live a frugal life, giving their all for their temple? 12. Durge gave a gold coin to a beggar once; why did they do it? Did this occur regularly? Bonus ask: whichever question you wanted to answer most but haven't been asked :)

under the read more again bc i cant keep my answers short and concise lol. thank you for the asks though, i really am enjoying writing these out!!

2. Did they keep anything from their old family and home? A memento or a skill perhaps?

I've been wanting a reason to talk about his family!! I think I've only ever briefly mentioned them in one fic before, but his adoptive family were a tiefling mother (Innise Escaris) and human father (Kadin Escaris. yes they were people who named their kids after themselves. he has a human sister called Inqine). They owned and ran an apothecary in the Lower City, so Kaidos grew up around all sorts of potions and remedies. Pre-tadpole, he had memories of watching his mother nurse children with nasty coughs and overworked fisherman with achy joints seemingly instantly. In his child mind, it seemed like magic.

As soon as he was old enough to be trusted with holding the bottles and the ingredients, he would readily help his parents mix together whatever the people needed. At night, he would take the books on medicine and read them under his covers.

Although a quiet and awkward kid, he knew a hell of a lot about Medicine early on, and it has stuck with him.

6. Bhaal loves money; did your Durge inherit that trait? Do they enjoy luxuries or try to live a frugal life, giving their all for their temple?

He is a sucker for a rich fabric or two. His favourite wine is Suzailian Sweet, so keeping that stocked up can get pretty pricey too. Whenever people come to Bhaal's temple with contracts, Kaidos will typically give himself the higher paying ones (under the excuse that he knows the Upper City better than most others in the temple do) and leave those in the Outer City/Rivington, etc. for lesser Bhaalians. His followers still got their fair share, but certainly not as much as Kaidos did.

After all, he is Bhaal's son.

12. Durge gave a gold coin to a beggar once; why did they do it? Did this occur regularly?

Despite how pampered he was in the temple, Kaidos could still remember what he was like before that time. In the time after his family was gone (by his own hands) but before the luxury of the temple, he did live in abject poverty.

Kaidos had personally been in that beggar's position before, so it really struck a chord with him to see others like that too. To know how bitter and unfeeling the city could be to others, to have been on the receiving end of such a cold shoulder.

The cocktail of feelings he would have felt at the time likely would have panicked him, knowing that the temple would not look favourably upon acts of charity to souls that would have otherwise gone unmissed.

Giving money away would not have been a common occurrence, but when it did happen, it was probably when Kaidos thought Sceleritas Fel wasn't looking.

Bonus/whichever one I want to pick: 9. What would a typical meeting of the chosen have looked like when your Durge attended?

I just wanna talk about them arguing again!!

By the point where they are Chosen and in Moonrise, Kaidos would have been insufferably bratty 'dont you know who my dad is' type of stuck up. Gortash would have found ways around that particular attitude (and probably ways to use it to his advantage to manipulate kai) but I really feel like Ketheric would not stand for it at all.

Kaidos with a nasty attitude, talking at rather than to other attendees of the meeting. Ketheric bluntly letting him know that shit doesn't fly under his roof. Gortash making small remarks to instigate and further encourage Kaidos. Kaidos taking the bait, and it ends up with Bhaal and Myrkul's Chosen arguing for the nth time.

Kaidos is very good at what he does, but he is absolutely awful to try and talk to unless your name is Enver Gortash and you figured him out on day one.

[a-wild-things-rambles]

hometown hypocrisy

and the bloods beating down in the city tonight and no-one will ever sympathize with our plight try to get up, but we just fall down trying to escape this damn hometown

and we got fires burning in our souls and the scars to prove it, what do you know but the rains putting us out drowning our sparks and our shouts

and the fogs setting in rain against my skin and the sky's beating me down wandering my hometown and the roads gotten twisted the old life's gone, i missed it guess it is true, you can never go home again

and the bloods beating down in the city tonight and no-one will ever sympathize with our plight try to get up, but we just fall down trying to escape this damn hometown

and blood seeping through our clothes violence begets violence, don't ya know but these fists are my hometown pride gritted teeth and bloodshot eyes

and the fogs setting in rain against my skin and the sky's beating me down wandering my hometown and the roads gotten twisted the old life's gone, i missed it guess it is true, you can never go home again

'and the bloods beating down' is the 2nd chorus/prechorus [look i changed the structure but im not editing my analysis i dont want it to get longer]

'and the fogs setting in' is the [main]chorus [planned to use a diffrent tone to musicaly distinguish it from teh verses and pre/2nd chorus][is in italics]

and 'we got fires' is teh 1st verse and 'blood seeping thru our clothes' is the second

NOTE: should be spoken or sung for optimal beat with contractions, but for readability has been mostly uncontracted. also idk how to spell what do you know contracted right.

the chorus is much later in the singers life than the pre chorus & the two verses, the hypocrisy is that the singer wants to both escape and go back to his hometown.

the younger singer always uses plural, to symbolize community, until 'these fists are my hometown pride' almost at the end. he refutes the cycle of violence by owning his violence as part of himself- his link to his hometown.

in addition, he has become the active perpetrator of violence, [previous references were 'we all fall down' [something else to him] and 'we got the scars to prove it' which is implied to be violence perpetrated unknowingly to each other because of 'fires burning in our souls'- when they get close, they hurt each other unintentionally] he now links his sense of self to violence, and thus when he loses his ability to do violence, he loses his self, and his link to his hometown, becoming the older singer

but by doing this he also will inevitably refute his hometown, by linking it intrinsically to violence, becoming the older singer who sings the chorus when he can no longer have that link to his self or his hometown because he can no longer do violence [his inability shown by him being 'beaten down' by the rain/oppressive atmosphere], i did want to expand on this, writing more verses to show the fall and how he ended up as the chorus person but it didnt work. heres the scrapped third verse

but soon those fists turned weak what do you know? you aint at your peak stress and violence aint good for your heart and you find that your bodys now falling apart

it can also be seen as by growing up to become a perpetrator and someone with power, he is now distant from his people and community, the solidarity is formed from their shared victimhood so when he steps out of that/rejects it, he loses the community [also becoming part of the violent cycle means getting rejected] [also the chorus says 'twisted road' we dont know what happened to make him fall, thats up to the readers interpretation] [transmasc journey of realizing your masculinity then becoming ostracised][or disability]

"guess its true, you can never go home again" is the only exception to the rhyming scheme, and it gives it emphasis, it was more noticeable before the chorus was squished together [previously each half line was its own line until 'guess its true'] fuck it it can take up space on yalls dashboards its getting split again

'bloodshot eyes' can be interpreted many different ways, from crying to injury to rage, each suggesting different meanings and affecting the text in diffrent ways

[devinescribe]

Maid Café

So basically pre borderlands, where the reader works at a (spicy) maid café, because you need money. And one of them walks in and you're embarrassed because you know them from school, your neighbor, stuff like that.

Warning: most of these are slightly or more than slightly NSFW

Im serious it is not complete fluff

Chishiya

- Only found out because he heard you talking about it in your dorm

- It is not his fault you talk loud. Or that the walls were paper thin

- Decides to check it out, after all he wanted to know all about you.

- Teasing bastard

- It isn't like you dont know him either, you talk little bits here and there.

- So mean

"Oi, (Y/N), you've got a client. Asked for you specifically," your boss said. You nodded, fixing your lipstick. You stood up, and fixed the thigh highs that were being held up by some garters. You smoothed out the short skirt and fluffy petty coats under.

This café was one of the safer ones to work at(not 100% safe, but there was security), as well as one of the more... adult ones. You would never say you hated your job, but there was certain days you did not enjoy it.

Your job was to basically flirt with whichever client you were assigned to. You would spend the whole time they were there just kind of keeping them company. Each of the boothes had curtains around them, so each client could have a private and personal experience. On top of this you were also a waitress. Whatever they ordered you would have to go get.

Some days this was embarrassing, other days it wasn't.

You were expecting one of your past clients. A regular or something.

You closed your eyes and entered the booth with a smile. "Hello, how may I serve you today master?" You said, in your usual cheery voice. You opened your eyes, and almost fell from sheer panic.

Chishiya Shuntarou.

You knew him from some of your clases. He sat next to you in the ones he had with you.

What a liar you'd be if you said you didn't have a small crush on the apathetic man.

You would have never thought that the handsome blonde would ever have need to come to a place like this.

Not to say you were working in a red light district, but lets say you were on the outskirts.

"What? Cat got your tongue?" he said slyly, a smirk playing on his lips. He stood up walking over to you. "What's a smart girl like yourself doing working in a place like this?" He cooed, tilting your head slightly with his long fingers under your chin. Goosebumps rose on your skin from how cold his hands were.

You mustered your courage to say something snarky back to the man in front of you. "I don't know, the fact I don't have daddy's money to get me through college," you spat.

Oh how you regretted those words as soon as you saw his face.

Anger swept over his usually calm features, but quickly vanished.

It felt like ice had been shot into your veins. He narrowed his eyes at you.

"Doesn't your job depend on being kind to your clients?" He said, looking at you with those cat like eyes that told you he knew more than you. You looked away. He was right. You needed the money, and given the fact that your best clients only came in on Fridays, he was your best bet right know.

You nodded.

"Ah, so you are smarter than you look," he taunted. 

One thing you had forgotten to mention. As long as the client payed, and you signed the contract, all was on the table.

The only reason you signed that dumb contract was so you could make more money.

None of your regulars ever even brought this up. But you knew Chishiya would.

And now it was about to bite you in the ass.

"Ne... such a pretty girl, having to do this," he murmured, face closer to yours. You could feel his breath on your lips.

You were kind of enjoying this, and you hated it.

Bright side, he smelled good. Unlike many of the clients you had who were lonely losers(damn (Y/N)), Chishiya was someone who came here for the purpose of making you feel uncomfortable. To make you tic. Make you say something to him. And he smelled really really good.

That was weird to think. But you frankly could care less.

"Pretty and smart don't pay the bills," you said, one of your hands softly going to his face. He smirked.

"Be mine and don't worry about it then."

"Bold aren't you?" You said.

God, that scent was driving you insane. You couldnt pin point it. You couldn't give specific smell.

He gave a small laugh. "Something driving you insane there (Y/N)?" He muttered, his hands going to your waist, pulling you closer. Your chest against his. You could feel your heartbeat going at what felt like one hundred miles per hour. He knew something you didn't.

"The hell did you do?" You whispered, gripping onto his jacket. You had no doubt that scent had something to do with him.

"I didn't poison you... if you were wondering. But the chemistry of the human body is oh so interesting. Wearing a certain perfume or collonge can make others extremely hot and bothered. It can make people associate you with a childhood memory. Or their most hidden fantasies..." he explained, a smirk playing on his lips. You caught on quickly.

"Why then? Use that on me?" You asked, being hyper aware of everything he did. The way his eyes shifted, his chest rising and falling with every breath he took, his hands on your hips.

"Dorm walls are thin (Y/N)... And if that doesn't call to your memory... your room is right next to mine... I hear everything... I hear my name more times than we've talked."

Niragi

- He's your neighbor.

- He always wondered what your job was, given the fact that you lived in a pretty nice house

- Only sees you every once in a while

- Still tried to be a nice neighbor when he does see you

- Probably because you're just so fucking pretty

- You're always carrying a dress bag, always have your hair and makeup done.

- Probably thought you were a sugar baby at one point

- finds out after he hears you talking to some of the girls you work with

- "oi, (N/N), who is that?" One of them whispered. "Oh thats Niragi Suguru. My neighbor. The super cute one~" "Omg, invite him to the cafe!"

- He just asks them after they leave your house. They were more than willing.

Your café was... well it wasn't the safest. It wasn't on a good side of town.

But you got money.

You sometimes wondered if being a stripper would be safer than this.

You sat on the sidelines, watching the rest of the girls fawn over someone.

"Oi, (Y/N). Private room client. He asked for you," you boss said. You smiled, giving her thanks.

You walked in, looking down. You bowed.

"Hello sir, how may I serve you today?" You asked, a tinge of embarrassment covering your face. You closed the door, and looked up.

Your eyes widened slightly.

He smirked.

"I guess curiosity killed the cat... didn't think this is what you did," he said honestly, walking over to you.

You took small steps to meet him in the middle of the room.

He pulled you by your waist into him.

"How'd... How'd you know I worked here?" You asked, looking at his dark eyes. He passed his toungue over his teeth, the silver ball glinting in the dim red light of the room.

"Let's say you don't know how to whisper... I'm your super cute neighbor? And your co workers... they were easy enough to get information out of," he whispered into your ear. You shivered, feeling his tongue on the shell of your ear.

"N-niragi-"

"If I'm not mistaken... you by your employee policy have to call me something else," he teased.

"B-but I know you!" You protested, pulling away.

He was enjoying this. What a pervert.

But you guessed that made you a pervert as well. Because you were enjoing it too.

"Know me or not, I'm paying aren't I?" He said. God, you could hear the smirk in his voice. You turned quickly with a huff. "I guess you are," you murmured.

"What do you want me to do?"

"I think you're forgetting something sweetheart."

"Sorry... What would you like me to do... sir."

He smirked, pulling you into him.

"Sit with me princess," he said, leading you over to the couch. You sat besides him, and he rolled his eyes. He pulled you onto his lap.

You let out a small shriek from the shock.

"You're pretty easy to shock aren't you?" He murmured into your ear. He placed a kiss to your shoulder, and licked from there to your jaw, making you shiver.

"You're fun. I like you," he mumbled against your skin.

"If I'm so fun then why this?" You asked, grabbing his hand. You placed yours on his own, comparing the size of your hand to his.

"Because... I know you find this entertaining as well. You can't lie to me either," he said, grabbing onto your hand tightly. He pushed your hair to the side with his other hand. You could feel his breath on your neck. He had made you impatient and quite needy for him.

Cute neighbor, his hands on your body, and if he didnt do anything you'd cry.

"Quit toying with me, and just do it."

"Impatient aren't you?"

"God, just fuck me."

"Easy enough."

Enji Matsushita [Jack of Hearts in case you still don't know I'm still trying to figure out how to write his character so bare with me]

- He found out because you're one of his clients

- He's a hypnotherapist, in case you didn't know

- No, he didn't purposefully find out.

- Not his fault your pretty mouth said whatever it wanted to.

- He's also not one to back down when the opportunity presents itself.

- By far the prettiest client he's had so he was not going to let it slide

- Tease

You enjoyed your job. Why lie? Your café wasn't the safest. It also wasn't one that had strict rules. Each of the girls had a private room, and clients could request specific girl, or get surprised.

Even if it wasn't the safest, there was security, and call buttons.

But to be honest, you were never in one of those situations. For that you were greatful. Most people came in in groups, and more for the sake of saying they went to such a scandalous place. It wasn't a traditional maid café, but it was good enough for you. Making about 400 per client depending? You were more than happy to do your job.

All you had to do was keep these lonely people company while they talked. The only "maid" part of your job was the costume.

While your clients could request sexual favors, you were within your rights to reject (or accept) that part.

You had music playing softly in the background as you swayed, fixing the short skirt.

You went for a more dark look, whereas many of the other women you worked with went for bright and colorful. You had pinks and blues, of course. You loved colors. But you always went to a darker shade of them.  It was that difference that made you more money.

You pulled on the black and white knee high socks, and decided to lounge around on the couch in your  designated room.

"Haaa it's been so slow," you muttered, kicking your legs up into the air.

"Has it now?" You heard a voice from the doorway. You sat up, and saw a familiar face.

"M-matsushita?" You stammered. He smirked, walking in. You scrambled up, and quickly shut the door.

"H-how'd you-"

"You know, when you're under my control... you say things you don't want to say... at least outloud," he said quietly.

You gulped. How many things had you said? You knew that even under hypnosis, he couldn't make you do anything against your moral code.

But you were a very open and honest person. So if you already had a loose toungue, you wondered what you had said to him.

"I wasn't... aware," you whispered as he sat down on the small couch you were laying on earlier. He patted the spot next to him whith a smirk.

You stood frozen. On one hand, he was a client paying for your services.

On the other, he was basically your therapist.

The only reason you went to him was because it seemed interesting. And a plus that he was cute.

He narrowed his eyes slightly. "Come on sweetheart, you don't have to be scared of me," he said slyly. You nodded, walking over sitting besides him.  You crossed your ankles, your hands laying on your thighs.

"The human mind is so interesting," he mentioned, making you turn your head towards him. "Yeah well, you're smart, but obviously not smart enough to not keep this a strictly professional relationship," you said. He simply laughed.

"Oh darling, you were the one to do that first!" He giggled, taking your hands in his own, pulling you closer to him. You gasped, watching him intently.

"W-what do you mean by that?" You stammered, wondering if under his hypnosis, you had said some of the thoughts you'd had about the man in front of you.

His eyes studied you, and you felt like hiding. His gaze made you feel so small.

You knew that in a matter of seconds, he could have you in the palm of his hand. Under his control.

But how you loved the thought. You'd do whatever he asked even without the hypnosis.

Under his control... not only at his office, but in your house, where you thought of him doing the most sinful things to you. Here when you had to do anything remotely sexual for a client you just imagined it was him.

Oh Gods... had you said any of that to him under hypnosis?

"M-matsushita what have I said?"

He looked elated you asked him that.

"Always.. think about you... and your... pretty face," he mocked your voice. Your eyes widened.

"Wanna be yours Matsu~"

"Wanna be under you, can't you ta-"

You put your hand over his mouth, embarrassment all over your features. He grabbed your wrist. "What? Not so happy to see my pretty face anymore (N/N)?" He teased, kissing your hand. You looked away.

"Shy now aren't you?" He smirked. How he loved being in control of situations.

"You're an arrogant fucker aren't you?" You said, trying to gain a little bit of control once more.

His eyes widened slightly.

"I did say those things... in fact, you want me to say more?"

He said nothing, watching you smirk. He wasn't expecting you to switch.

"Enji, I just want you," you whined, crawling over to him. "Wanna be yours, can't you make me yours?"

He stared in shock. This wasn't on his list of possibilities. But he wasn't about to let that slow his plan. Or let it get in the way.

"If you insist."

Ok, so i only did three because i want to test the waters.

So... thoughts? Should i make a second part with more characters?

[dreamhot]

I always got so pressed because people acted like dumb assholes about dream not having time to do anything with other ccs longterm but im like pre reveal he was in a shit place ruining his mental health from stress and post reveal he had to do everything he has put off at once because he couldnt do them before BECAUSE you need to do a lot of stuff face to face! Dude has been traveling, planning, in conferences, talking with his crew, hiring people, editing, fixing the house, getting their stuff in order, signing a bajilion different contracts about his future career moves with different brands, also dream branding upkeep and most likely ceo meetings, like good god his phone must be a landmine blowing up all the time. Only thing confusing me in a normal way is the season 2 stuff because everyone says its not launched yet??? so im like who needs to launch it, its a fucking mc server, get on and play??? Unless there was an agreement that tommy and dream make the server and launch it like how george and dream made the first server because otherwise i dont understand at all whats the issue, they already said they dont want lore like season 1 so its not like meetings have to happen about story boarding and all that? Everything else is clear as ice to me, its those imbeciles on reddit that cant read the god damn room

the key to inner peace is ignoring the doomposters on reddit because they'll have the same damn cyclical conversations about content entitlement every fuckin week and it's boring as hell. like, maybe it's cos i'm not in the deepest throes of my hyperfixation these days, but i don't spend my waking hours wringing my hands over when the next drideo is gonna drop or if we're gonna have more irl streams soon or the status of the dsmp. sure, i'm looking forward to all of these things in a nebulous sense, but waiting isn't ruining my day either. i KNOW dream is busy, and i've also got plenty of other shit to keep ME busy, so. no harm no foul, yk

[folklauerate]

anj ur fics are so fun and well-crafted i am a huge secret admirer of them who has been following u for a yr (and i respect the dilf prof anthony agenda frfr it's always the english depts too getting called daddy thank u for this homage) but omfg as someone in the humanities phd track, i cannot help but ask why kate is so young for a prof???? esp since almost all humanities profs start a fulltime teaching position at 28-30 yrs old minimum... i had a hard time imagining how 25 yr old would allowed to teach as a professor full-time by effect of her 'merit' unless it's some exploitative semi-illegal gag clause contingency hidden in her contract that renders her basically a 'pre-'grad student but w/o even their flimsy benefits n protections which actually usually is the case... 😭😭 knowing the dysfunctional politics embedded in uk and north american tenure systems, i unfortunately couldnt get past it! but looking forward to ur milf kate writing, hope u dont find this question too nosy or offensive lol (i enjoyed the fic for what it is hehe) i realize traumatized phds r probs not the target audience of this fic nor entitled to an explanation for why ur not reading and incorporating paywalled exposes of uni working conditions into a fic but was still curious if u were just taking reference from a different context or more ethical precedent of academic labor (which may ease my conscious reading it haha). tysm!

First of all—thank you! I appreciate you reading and being a secret admirer (tho I promise I don’t bite, ur always welcome to say hey!). I appreciate it 💘

Second of all—lmfao I was wondering when I’d get this ask or comment 😭😭😭😭😭 I just knew there’d be some poor phd student or some professor reading this fic who’d be like “hang on… what’s that?” and the answer I’ve got for you is let’s have a healthy dose of suspension of complete disbelief because it was the only way I could make this work 🤓

I wanted it to be an age gap because I wanted to write an age gap but I didn’t want there to be too horrible of a power imbalance that would definitely come with it being a student/professor relationship. That was just too far for me to personally go, even though with the ages I have them at, it would be the most realistic thing. Idk making them student/professor made me feel icky. I suppose I could’ve made her work some admin job within the university but I really liked the idea of them both teaching, and I originally planned on having him sort of rediscover his own love of teaching thanks to her enthusiasm. For some background (this didn’t make it into the fic, but I did hint at it); Anthony specializes in teaching a lot of western lit canon/comp lit things and Kates specializes in post-colonial lit/Asian American lit, and I liked the idea of her challenging his perspectives and changing up some of the ways he approaches his work and the things he assigns, and that all helping him rediscover his love of teaching as well. There’s a repeated theme in this oneshot of rebirth; how love can find us at unexpected times and make the world feel brand new again. I kinda heavy-handedly drove the theme home when he says I love you and I write that it washes over Kate like rainwater in spring—a sort of nod to baptism/rebirth imagery, a nod to rain being necessary for renewal even though she’s afraid of storms but the storm scene is a huge turning point for them, and rain and springtime and rebirth etc lol. ANYWAYS—all this to say, I really do try and make things as realistic as possible, because that matters to me and I like world building and tbh I do get paranoid that someone might read my fic and go “oh well that’s wrong, a mechanic would never say that” or something lol, but it is fanfiction land and I do have to make some concessions to make the story work in the way I want it to work, and I sort of ended up here lol! Trust me, though, I totally hear you; I was an English major myself (if you couldn’t tell) with a concentration in post-colonial lit and a minor in poli-sci and for a while I thought I’d get my masters or a PhD in the humanities and then teach, before a professor discouraged me from it bc ya know this is the US and that usually means a lot of debt and no teaching positions lol. But all that to say—I totally hear you! It’s not realistic and it’s icky if you work/study in it and know exactly what the dark and ugly side of academia looks like! But most folks probably didn’t catch that bc no one really knows what it’s like until you’re in it tbh. I tried to sort of make it work by having her have these two masters degrees (again, insane) and be some sort of wunderkind and exciting new voice in the post-colonial lit field that Agatha just had to bring on lmao. Basically it’s not perfect and it doesn’t totally work irl, but it’s not too big of a plot point besides getting them in the same place, and it’s not a huge focus, just in the background as they’re grading things or walking around campus, and I hope it doesn’t totally impede your ability to read it, but I totally understand if it does 😭

[the-s1lly-corner]

Hey! Can you do the news reporter from Metalocalypse x assistant reader plsplspls with a cherry on top? I am not the man who shall not be named. I promise /j

Dethklok minute host x assassistant!reader

I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE!!! I KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!!!

RAAAAAH I'm not even taking metalocalypse requests!!!!! But just for you bookie bear <\3

Imagine you two are already close when he gets all burned up, you helping him keep those fresh wounds clean and tidy... I mean I dont know much about burn wounds, I'll admit that, but I do know they can get nasty infections... so helo that man out!

Sometimes vents to you about them as well, as well as the contract

The contract

I saw a headcannon somewhere that the host is legally binded or whatever to the network, and cannot quit at all. The hc also stated that he wanted to leave after getting all gummed up

And honestly , I love that idea. So much. I'd tag the person but I saw this nearly two months ago and I forgot to like it I'm so mad at myself

Please let him know hes loved and has value, that whole thing above as well as the scarring has done such a number on him mentally

I think most of the time his hair feels.... jsjdjv... because of the products he uses for shows and stuff, but when its freshly washed and clean I think that it's very soft. Give him scalp massages. Trying to keep up with dethklok stuff and dig for information drives him up the wall, as well as the whole stress of the contract thing

He probably gets migraines from the stress tbh

Back and forth banter between you two between when the show is on and when it's not.. honestly I think he likes towing the line between getting caught and

.. not caught

I mean it depends on if you guys are openly in a relationship

You know

Loves hovering around your little workspace, strikes up a bunch of conversations with you

Uses his show host skills to chat up a storm and draw questions out of you to get to know you better

Sneaky bastard you probably don't even notice it yet

And now he knows your favorite flowers and hes dropped off some at your desk with a little note

Depending on when you guys get together determines on how hold he is. Pre burns hes going to be all up in your face and confident, and post burn I think he would he a smidgen less... confident.. even more so when the drooly bits start hanging from his mouth

That being said I dont think he fully reels himself back into a shell, no I think he would still push himself to put himself out to you but

You know

Anywahs I hope you enjoyed this fartboy I know who you are!!!!!!!!!

[blackafsims]

As the COUNTDOWN continues, having only 9 days left until The Sims 4 For Rent release. . .

This is what I know + you should know too.

12 days ago The Sims gave us an in-game exclusive highlighting the details of this extremely long awaited expansion pack - being the 3rd release this year. [ Growing Together, Horse Ranch, For Rent]

I dont know when or where you watch your trailers. For me, I tune in with NARDSIMS a.k.a NARDVILLIAN on Youtube.

Although I joined the live watch party, being amongst many getting a inside look. . . I like going back to rewatch, dissecting what I see frame by frame.

Here is a BREAKDOWN of what I saw.

Straight out the gate we have a pre-recorded video of the newly retired property owner who managed Sungai Point. In the first few seconds of the introduction, I learned that property managers who live with tenants DO NOT PAY RENT!

"since you're still living here you no longer pay rent"

We Can see Auntie Thi's rent per day go from $150 simoleons to 0

So at any point the responsibility of managing units is too heavy or it served it's season with you, you can appoint new landlords.

LOT + UNITS

You can configure living quarters assigning rules to each unit individually while still having lot traits & challenges.

Violating the rules can result in a fine. The tenant agreement showed an active rule fine of $250 simoleons for loud noises and $1000 for ghosts. We have the option to select multiple unit rules making them active or deselecting to be inactive

Shared

once in build mode, a dropdown menu becomes available allowing you to +create a unit, view and edit existing spaces or delete a room. Shared spaces can look like an entryway to collect mail, a common area to interact with other tenants or, if you want to think outside the box these are a few examples of what can be created.

Community Room

Dining Hall

Fitness Center

Laundry Facility

Rooftop

Backyard

Creativity is limitless

Each rental property will have a tool manager accesible from the leasing sign with an overview of the tenant agreement. Depending on the unit's value + other factors such as size, amenities, environment and maintenance. . . the cost per day will adjust accordingly with ratings up to 5 stars ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

one of the vacant units can be seen having a max rent per day of $117 simoleons. Auntie Thi's max rent was $2400

The leasing agreement also covers the length of days the contract will be honored. so there will be some element of realism when it comes to gameplay.

I,________ agree to the terms paying $X for X amount of time

VACANCY TO OCCUPANCY

You will have prospective tenants ready to move into your units. With the tool manager, you get to see the applicants applying inlcuding their current life stage.

[baby, infant, toddler, child, teen, young adult, adult, elder]

For example Lu, an elder is interested in a 1 bedrom with a cap rent of $150 simoleons

There are speculations swirling about in our community. It is rumored that a new cheat will unlock 2 additional units. so it could possibly reflect this way once that cheat is entered into the command bar.

6 units x 8 max household = 48 tenants (before) 8 units x 8 max household = 64 tenants

16 additional household members you get to have in your rental property. Household count includes animals and ghost.

The lessons shared from this humble ex-property manager revealed a valuable gem - Maintenance

If you don’t maintain the building you will not be successful. You will be faced with protesters 🪧 , mold overgrowth 🍄 , pests 🪳🪳🪳and eventually low ratings ⭐️. Not even Llama Chành could mess it all up after this!

REPO

The repo-man was a NPC in The Sims 2 who visited when bills were unpaid. We also saw reposessions in The Sims with Bud in addition to The Sims 3 with Alan. *Nostalgic Moments*

In The Sims 4 up until the release of For Rent, the only repercussions for late/unpaid bills is a shut off of utilities [water + power ]

Now when a renter is late you have the option to 1) pause rent extending time to make a payment. 2) reposes items that accumulate the bill amount or 3) simply wash your hands with them resulting in an eviction.

You'll have good tenants and not so favorable tenants. You get to decide if they deserve a second chance or if it's the end of the road for them.

During the watch party, we shared different ideas of how we would incorporate this new in-game feature. As for myself, I am beyond ecstatic. I can free up more lot space by compiling my households in one lot. I’ll rebuild my worlds adding a variety of venues and lot types.

This expansion pack is truly inspiring creatives & restoring their love for this game. The new features, career path, traits and functionalities within this pack is surely a game changer.

Many simmers will create new saves and download HEAVY CC rebuilding worlds which will generate new storylines.

What are you waiting to experience? Are you going to rebuild existing worlds or use the beautiful blank canvas in New Crest? Will you be the property manager or tenant?

Keep in mind 150 sims is the recommended max for smooth gaming. I may start townie makeovers to minimize my sim count in my managed households It's only right to introduce new sim families when rebuilding your world completely.

REMINDER 📌

IF YOU HAVE NOT DONE SO ALREADY, YOU CAN PRE-ORDER FOR RENT NOW. THIS EXPANSION PACK WILL BE PLAYABLE DECEMBER 7TH

IF YOU ARE UNAWARE, MY FIRST PET STUFF IS NOW FREE FOR PC AND MAC ONLY . CLAIM BEFORE JANUARY 9TH BY 10 AM PST

BUY THE SIMS 4 FOR RENT BEFORE JANUARY 18TH TO RECEIVE THE STREET EATS DIGITAL CONTENT WHICH INCLUDES THE QUICK TREATS GRILL, STREETSIDE STARS SHADE AND PEAK FRESHNESS FRUIT BASKET

Did you catch the same things as me? Did I miss something you noticed? Rewatch it again before 12/07 you might feel a spark of inspiration!

[jrpneblog]

More of the same for homeless PNE

As Championship home records go ours currently rates 22nd out of 24 in the section with only Blackpool and Wigan below us. This 9th defeat against a very ordinary Bristol City side did very little to lift the Deepdale mood with two poor goal concessions and an inability to put the ball in the net at the other end. The mood turned nasty after the game with some comments aimed at the manager which were described as "disgusting and vile" by Ryan Lowe. Im starting to fear for the manager a little, I must admit, as he has simply no idea how to change the game at home contracting with an outstanding record on the road. A gift goal down in six minutes and then a second in added first half time saw North End go in two down and up against it given previous home performances. We did create a few chances in the second half and Evans pulled one back on the our but it was all for nothing as our appalling record at Deepdale continued and some sections of the fan base had clearly had enough.

Just one change for North End from the side beaten by Spurs in the Cup last Saturday and that was Liam Delap coming in for Ben Whiteman. Lowe decided on a change of formation and a supposedly gung-ho approach with three forwards. Just where the gung-ho bit came in I just dont know because within six minutes we were a goal down after a woeful back pass from the usually reliable Robbie Brady was intercepted by Sykes and the Robins were a goal in front. It came just sixty second after a Cannon header was saved at the other end by O'Leary. In fact the Bristol keeper was to play a big part in the game and after the visitors goal O`Leary made some excellent saves, particularly from Browne and Evans. Right on the stroke of half time the Bristol man of the match, Alex Scott, sent Wells away down the right wing and his pacey cross found Bell who slotted home no problem to put City two up at the interval.

Greg Cunningham replaced Liam Lindsay at half time after the centre back had taken a bang on the knee during the first half. North End started a little better with a Cannon effort but once again O`Leary was the to save. However after having a faultless afternoon the Bristol keeper spilled a long range shot from Ryan Ledson and Evans was the first to react to make it 1-2 and bring North End back into the game. North End had a couple of decent chances later on in the game when Delap just couldn't get the ball into his stride and was cleared by a defender. Robbie Brady then had a head which went 90 degrees away from the direction it should have been travelling in. It just about summed up North Ends afternoon and although the triple substitution of Onomah, Fernandez and Potts energised North End a little it was far too late for them to influence the game to any degree and North End left the field to a chorus of boos from those who were left in a crowd of 14,261.

So once again we are left with a poor home performance and asking ourselves where do North End go from here. It is only our form on the road that has kept us in the play off race but can you honestly see this manager getting us into a top six spot. I have to say that at this point in the season with seventeen games left I cant. Home is where the heart is for all football fans at the risk of repeating myself, again, the home form must improve dramatically in the last eight home games of the season or I think the manager could be in trouble. Next weeks trip to Turf Moor is not exactly the sort of fixture you want after another shocker of a home defeat like this but wouldn't it just be like North End to go there and turn them over. One thing is for sure and that is that a poor result at Burnley makes the Luton game on Wednesday 15th a real big date in the diary.

.

PRESTON 1-2 BRISTOL CITY

.

WOODMAN 7

STOREY 5 LINDSAY 6 HUGHES 6

BROWNE 6 LEDSON 6 McCANN 7 BRADY 5

CANNON 6 EVANS 7 DELAP 6

.

Subs:

CUNNINGHAM 6

ODOMAH 6

FERNANDEZ 6

POTTS 6

.

MOTM: Ali McCann

Attendance 14,261

Preston Fans 13,457 (94.36%)