#i dont know if you want this pre contract

[firefly--bright]

Jean Kirstein's Wedding Playlist

jean kirstein x fem!reader, modern au

♪ Track One ; Figures Cant Calculate (The Love I Have For You)

playing on jbone's iphone

warnings ; none!

⏭ previous ⏭ series masterlist ⏮ next ⏮

Jean’s hands shook in anticipation as he corrected his tie for what seemed like the thirtieth time, blowing a sigh at his inability to stay still when it counted. His feet swiped against the floor, softly recreating dance steps that he’d been preparing for a month.

Marco glances at the mirror where jean stands, fidgeting with the flimsy forestry green piece of fabric, tangling and untangling in between his fingers, his eyes glancing at his best friend’s figure in a scrutinizing amusement. “Dude,”

Jean’s ears were unaffected, no trace of recognition in his features and he continued with his useless fiddling. “Jean.” he tried again, taking a step towards him. 

That seems to get his attention, honeyed eyes finding darker ones. Jean’s face is as readable as it could ever be - something marco found happened more often when his friend thought about you - despite his openly anxious demeanor, jean’s feet wouldn't stop moving against the invisible beat of a song that was sure to play out during his first dance with you. More than that, though, was the undisguisable excitement that flooded jean’s veins without control.

“Relax,” marco called out, sitting on the chair closest to the groom. There was still a good hour and a half to go until the ceremony began, giving jean’s fluttering heart more than enough time to stop beating so rampantly against the cage of his ribs. “You got this.” he said, slumping against the chair as jean finally stopped relentlessly attacking his tie. Without taking his eyes off the mirror, jean shook his head, confused at his own state. “Im not even scared. I’m actually feeling completely normal,” 

Marco hummed; an encouragement to continue. Jean moved a single strand of hair that had escaped onto his forehead, pushing it back until it held into place. “I just… i dont know. I dont wanna mess this up.”

There was a short pause where jean could swear he could hear your laughter three rooms down the hall, bright and vibrant and bringing a hidden life to his chest again, his lips quirking up at the sound. 

Marco breathed out a laugh too, “you’ve been ready for this ever since you first met her. I dont think you’ll mess it up.” he says it like its fact. 

Because it is.

-

The day was not on jean’s side.

He should've known to carry an umbrella. He should've known to check the weather that day - but he really didnt want to blame his planning, or rather, his hopefulness - it had been bright and sunny all of freshman year summer break, the skies deciding to turn sour during the first week of college, as if the universe was waiting to give the students a cruel reminder of their reality.

Or maybe he was just stupid and too arrogant to admit it. Whatever the case was, he decided as he ran to his pre-planned destination, it wasnt his fault. Totally.

His phone screen getting dangerously close to drenched, he switched it off before swiftly stuffing it into the pocket of his jeans, dark splotches decorating its cuffs. His hands provided a useless shield against the pattering, his hair sticking to his forehead as he approached the diner - out of breath and disgustingly rained-on.

He braced his palms on his knees as he caught his breath under a sizeable shade that the red and white awning graciously provided. With his chest still expanding and contracting wildly, he lifted his head up, only then noticing a presence next to him. 

Just like him, you were also catching your breath. Your hair was a little frizzy - from the looks of it because you had also gone through the rain - as you shook all the moisture away from it, doing the same with your clothes, though they seemed to be too far gone to save, just like him.

Similar darker splotches decorated your own clothes, a sense of camaraderie filling the air between the two of you, matching each other's actions unknowingly. And when you finally exchanged glances, a wordless acknowledgement, you both smiled with tight lips, the kind that were appropriate for a stranger that could have the potential to be a named face.

“Should’ve brought an umbrella, huh?” you commented, and he breathed out a polite laugh, surprised at your further interaction, but welcoming it with warmth nonetheless.

He nodded, same small smile gracing his lips, “yeah,”

You had held the door open for him then. He would later recount that he wanted to do that for you, but you took the opportunity before he could even see it. With one more adjustment to your hair, you were going to depart from your stranger, but your name rung out loudly against the semi-packed diner, bringing your attention to the girl that was waving an arm in the air to get your occupied attention.

“Here!” she exclaimed with a smile brighter than the summer ever could've been, and jean glanced at the interaction, connecting dots that were clear and visible to him. You were the girl that sasha was mentioning earlier; the one who had just moved into her and mikasa’s apartment, the one that baked banana bread on the first day and made the house smell heavenly against the downcast weather.

He didnt know how he could forget. Sasha - bless her heart, really, because she did this with everyone she met that was even remotely disconnected from her large network of friends and acquaintances - had shown him a picture of you that she had only just gotten after asking for your socials. 

Your smile was soft in the picture, unlike the one you had shown him only moments before, jean realized, as you walked toward your room mate. 

Right. That made sense. God, was his first impression on you going to be a guy who was both running late and unprepared enough to not grab an umbrella despite the warnings?

You sat down beside sasha, leaving the only available seat to be the one next to you against the corner of the leathered booth. Jean slipped in beside you. 

It seemed like you had also connected the obviously visible dots. You welcomed him now with a smile that was more like the picture he was familiar with; easy and soft at the corners, small wrinkles apparent as a proof of all your years under the sun. your smile reminded him of a petal, he had decided - the shade of your lips reminding him of the one he had grown up with in his garden, a common pink calla lily that his mother had been particularly fond of.

He’d smiled back. You’d later note that you knew he’d been giving you one of his real, impolite and informal smiles because the corners of his eyes had crinkled. He wondered how you’d grown to know him this unabashedly, to be so close to his heart without being afraid of it’s monstrous thrums that soon only beat for you.

The night was beautiful. He wouldn't realize it in the moment - no, good things are never ones to make themselves apparent - but your voice had carved itself into the notches of his spine. Not too deep yet, but the markings of a future etch were evident. 

And he’d allow it.

You’d continued to introduce yourself, mingling with him and his friends as an exchange student without much knowledge of Paradis. Connie had made a passing comment about Trost’s beautiful gardens, pointing to jean, to which you turned to his direction with sparkling eyes and a french fry in your hand, forgotten to be devoured until after jean spoke. And he did, albeit stuttered, somehow managed to string together a coherent enough sentence to validate your admiration, telling you about the same calla lilies in his mother’s backyard. 

You didnt back down, taking the conversation head-first and asking him about any memories he’d had with his hometown that stuck out to him, which had gotten him to speak - almost a little too passionately - about him and marco and the other kids that werent in Shinghanshina university, about how he’d picked some flowers from the garden without his mothers knowledge to impress a schoolboy crush on a girl who’s name he couldnt even remember.

You had laughed and told him about the guy who you’d share your lunches with in kindergarten. You, like him, dont remember his name either, but would always remember the “who has the longest noodle in their lunch” competitions.

And for a moment, everyone else had been forgotten. With your own little secret conversation, jean found it easy to talk to you. Sitting close to you also meant hearing your muttered quips that went unheard by everyone else but him, which he’d appreciate with a small smirk or a breath of laughter that was also only noticed by you.

-

No, Jean wouldn't mess this up. It was fact.

♪ fic playlist ♪ main masterlist is in pinned post! ♪ enter my taglist! ♪ also on ao3 ♪

taglist ; @holding-infinity-and-a-book , @mrsnobodynobody , @hopeless-anti-romantic-again , @jeanscremebrulee , @berrijam , @happxme , @cherrypieyourface , @imgayandshesanime , @moonmalice , @kivernova , @potaho3frog , @xakilicious , @katestrophes , @gojo-ana , @ppushable, @candleofhappiness , @zombiefiedskeivy , @1ovede1uxe , @sevriizy , @toscapaeron

[voxnetwork]

@poisonedspider asked:

❝ well, i can think of some ways to wear you out. ❞ (Valentinooo)

"Oh, can you now, Angelito?" Valentino smirked, blowing out some of the smoke in his direction before leaning back on his couch. "How about you come over here and show Papi just how you are going to do that."

[jinwoosbabyboo]

𝙰 - 𝙻𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛

My headcanons of the LADS Men w/ a Singer/Idol reader [Requested by: liz9898]

𝚉𝚊𝚢𝚗𝚎

He's a doctor before anything else, but he's making it to every show that he can

Tends to make it to your rehearsals more than your actual shows

wants to read over your contract with your label before you sign anything

always has flowers delivered to your dressing room on the day of your show

He owns every album and ep

"You know you don't have to buy the physical copies right? I can give them to you for free" "Yes I do I'm your number 1 fan will you sign this?"

loves surprising you when you're getting off stage with a small gift or flowers in hand

sets his favorite song as your ringtone

sexy dance with a partner? Absolutely hates it! "Do you have to do that part with him?" "He doesn't touch me Zayne it's just a body roll" "I'm not a fan"

when he can't make it to your show he livestreams it

buys you a bracelet with his name and birthstone "Wear this so you think of me" "Is this so everyone will know I'm taken?" "Thats only a plus"

plans his days off around your return dates when you go on tour

always sends an encouraging texts or calls before your shows

if you dont want your picture taken by paparazzi and he's with you he'll cover every lens with a sheet of ice

comes to your studio sessions when he can and if he can't make it he'll sit on the phone with you.

𝚁𝚊𝚏𝚊𝚢𝚎𝚕

FANBOY FANBOY FANBOY

He's buying every album and ep and damn near setting up a shrine for you

He's at every single show

he has the option to be backstage or front row vip section he's front row 90% of the time

Captures the best angles of you while you're performing

Knows every single word to every song he's singing his little heart out right along with you

That fan page with 2 million followers? Thats his. Those fan edits that keep going viral for how good they are? Thats him.

He's backstage with you massaging and helping with ice packs to cool you down.

"Ice cold water isn't good for her vocal cords bring us room temperature!" suddenly he's the boss?

showers you in compliments after your shows and don't worry if your pre-show nerves start getting to you he's right there gassing you up

Now a sexy dance with a partner? he's not feeling it "I swear he wants to do a little more than dance" "well that would be shocking since his boyfriend is also my backup dancer" "Oh ._."

would 100% pack up and throw himself onto that tour bus the minute you ask if he wants to come with you

covering your face from paparazzi when you don't want your picture taken

those crazy stalkers and haters that are trying to harm you? strange how they keep disappearing huh

flowers and gifts before and after every show

sketches and or paints during your studio sessions; will spend all night/day in there with you he doesn't care he loves watching you and the process

𝚇𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚎𝚛

supports you in every thing you do he's almost like you're personal bodyguard though

"no pictures" he says calmly as he places his hand on the lens of a pap who was hiding scaring the person shitless because how did he see him and how did he get there so fast

waits patiently backstage so he can carry you back to your dressing room

surveys the crowd silently even though you have security

follows all your fan pages and constantly scouring the internet for any bad press or hate so he can get rid of it

stands outside your dressing room while you rest so no one disturbs you "Xav get in here stop scaring my crew!"

goes over every minor detail with your label and publicity manager when a tour is brought up

tried to cook for you one time while on tour .... your manager nixed that expeditiously

that sexy dance you had with a partner? he got so jealous that you had your choreographer change the dance so he would stop sulking

prefers to carry you around because "you work so hard on stage"

changes your shoes for you and kisses your knee every time

takes naps in the studio when you're recording

𝚂𝚢𝚕𝚞𝚜

this man is a mafia leader you think he has time to keep up with your hectic schedule? You bet your ass he does! Priorities baby and you're number 1

he is going over your contract with your label before you sign anything

you're going on tour? He's buying you the best and most comfortable tour bus money can buy

helps you in and out of costume changes

waits backstage with a pair of fluffy slippers and a bottle of water "You were amazing Miss Idol"

tries to sing your songs all the time "Hey baby who sings that?" "You." "Let's keep it that way"

Your dressing room, tour bus, and hotel rooms are always flourishing with gifts

Constantly praises you

follows your fan pages

either gives you a massage or has massages schedule for you to keep you nimble.

buys a recording studio for you so you don't have to pay the ridiculous studio fees

the twins end up becoming two of your backup dancers

gets rid of pictures online that you dislike; stops paparazzi from taking pictures by ruining the cameras with his evol

dont even worry about a stalker or crazy fan with malicious intent Sylus & the twins got that ass taken care of

[artoodeetootired]

dress

📖 she’s been his best friend since they were pre-teens; he was a rebellious, unrelenting, and aspiring racer, while she was a witty, energetic, and hopeful journalist. but after all these years, she can’t help but question whether they could be more- despite the challenges that come with her feelings.

💭 op!81 x fem!journalist, best friends to lovers (smau)

🎧 dress - taylor swift

🃏masterlist🃏

🥀 “say my name n everythin just stops. i don’t want u like a best friend. only bought this dress so u could take it off…” 🥀

ty for the love on my first smau ! here’s the next per the last poll’s fav choice :) warning: lots & lots of typos/underlying delulu cringe

Twitter

Instagram

ynuser posted a story 6s

Liked by landonorris, logansargeant, fbsfuser, and others

Replies

landonorris: solidarity queen ✊🏼

-> ynuser ✊🏼

oscarpiastri: u are actually insane

-> wow this is so nice of you.

-> such a great best friend .

-> an even better journalist.

-> ynuser anything to humble u while i am in this industry 🫶🏻

user: you are UNHINGED

logansargeant: careful yn, your favouritism is showing

-> ynuser: it's part of my contract. im the comedic relief of f1 journalism

-> logansargeant: but doesn't will buxton naturally do that

-> ynuser: now THIS convo could get me fired. shoo logan.

-> logansargeant LOLL

mclaren: just 'cause we love you, we'll let this slide

-> ynuser: 🫶🏻😸

fbsfuser: send my fuck you's to them both :D

-> ynuser: already on it 🫡

iMessages

Instagram

oscarpiastri

Tagged: landonorris, mclaren, ynuser

oscarpiastri great start to the season @mclaren 💪🏼

the same can't be said about a particular someone tho... betting someone should get fired.

📸: @ynuser

Liked by mclaren, landonorris, ynuser, and 609,993 others

View all 21,008 comments

landonorris i dont support bullying, but exceptions can be made if it's towards you

ynuser if karma doesn't get u first then either stroll or i will

-> user oh my GOD 💀

-> user shots fired LMAOOOO

-> oscarpiastri i'd rather karma than u and...

mclaren and we thought lando was our only pr liability

-> landonorris wait WHAT

-> oscarpiastri that's a bit too insulting towards me

-> ynuser this doesnt include me.... right?

fbsfuser boy if you don't take this down...

logansargeant oscar is this meant to be retribution for her story earlier?

-> oscarpiastri so what?

-> landonorris that's kinda overdramatic compared to what she posted wow

ynuser i would also like to say that this stanky man tried to go out for dinner right after his race 🤢

-> georgerussell scandalous 😨

-> carlossainz55 not very smooth of you oscar

-> alexalbon not smooth.

-> danielricciardo not smooth.

-> charlesleclerc not smooth.

-> maxverstappen1 not smooth.

-> fbsfuser i think, and hear me out, maybe you're in the wrong here oscar

-> ynuser and this is why we were both wearing masks on track

-> oscarpiastri too far. you've gone TOO far.

Instagram: 10/03-21/03

ynuser posted a story 10s

Liked by yukitsunoda0511, landonorris, georgerussell, and others

Replies

yukitsunoday0511: i will get you back one day.

-> ynuser: ngaww 😹

oscarpiastri: u are tho

-> ynuser: ik

->oscarpiastri: wait. are you?

danielricciardo: mind giving me an extra mic so i can do this when youre not with us?

-> ynuser check ur driver's room ;)

landonorris: how did he know 😨

-> ynuser: we been knew lan

oscarpiastri posted a story 7s

Liked by landonorris, logansargeant, fbsfuser, and others

Replies

ynuser: there's no way you pulled out a photo from when we were 13.

-> oscarpiastri: full on war. what are you gonna do about it?

-> ynuser: watch me

landonorris: u have to give this pic to me.

-> oscarpiastri: LMAO ty for joining my side

-> landonorris: no no, don't be mistaken. im against both of you.

-> oscarpiastri: mate what?

carlossainz55: u guys should just kiss already

-> oscarpiastri: carlos NO

mclaren: you're really trying to blackmail a journalist who has resources at her disposal? 😮

-> oscarpiastri: ...yes...

ynuser posted a story 3s

Liked by maxverstappen1, pierregasly, alexalbon, and others

Replies

alexalbon: congrats on winning soldier

-> ynuser ✊🏼

oscarpiastri: HOW DO U HAVE THESE PHOTOS ALREADY

-> ynuser: i like how u still underestimate my job then suffer because of it :)

pierregasly: these go hard 🔥

landonorris: well at least it's not as embarrassing for me. but a HEADS UP WOULDVE BEEN NICE

-> ynuser: bro dont even try ik you've been saving bad pics of me from oscar -.-

mclaren: we hope u enjoyed the pics!

-> ynuser: i owe u guys one fr 🙏🏼

Round 3 (22/03-24/03): Australia

ynuser

Tagged: f1

ynuser round 3 in australia!!!! 🇦🇺🦘❤️ amazing to be back on home base, and even better to see danny ric and pastry fight it out for the podium! (actual, professional, and correct news coming from me on @f1 tv 🫡)

ossie ossie ossie! oi oi oi! get it? 'cause ossie is like aussie and... okay. i'll stop.

Liked by mclaren, fbsfuser, danielricciardo, and 611,805 others

View all 21,008 comments

mclaren ty for providing us with baby pastry pics 🫡

-> ynuser pleasure doing business with u 🫡🫡

-> oscarpiastri excuse ME

oscarpiastri haha. so funny. at least u have stand up comedy since journalism may not work out :)

-> ynuser so you admit im funny 😸

-> oscarpiastri don't flatter urself.

-> landonorris nah mate, that sounded like defeat

f1 this commentary is fine 👍🏻

-> user LMAOOOO

user danny ric placing in his home base is such a dream come true 😭

-> user yeah im glad it isnt just a dream anymore

user cutiessssss

-> user them driving around the circuit in a golf cart must've been chaotic

-> logansargeant u have no idea...

user she's hilarious ilysm

-> fbsfuser back off fam she's mine ✋🏼

-> user i need to know how she got this job cause it is THE dream fr

-> fbsfuser yeah it really is a wonder given how many lectures she slept thru...

-> ynuser OI

danielricciardo 🫶🏻

-> user CONGRATS HONEY BADGER!!!

user can oscar fight???

-> user girl what are u talking about they aint tgt

-> user they aren't???

-> user no bruh theyre just besties

user watch me at the next race rizzin her up

Twitter

iMessages

Instagram Messages

landonorris: yn

-> yn

-> yn

-> yn

ynuser: bruh WHAT

landonorris: it's important

ynuser: lando i don't have time to answer whether a new pair of pants make u look flat

-> go ask osc

landonorris: ok first of all: a good pair makes a huge difference.

-> and second, it's about osc

ynuser: did smth happen to him?????

landonorris: no, sorry

-> shouldn't have led with that

-> i sent u a post on twitter

-> but just, read carefully k?

Twitter

Instagram Messages

ynuser: oh

landonorris: u see it?

ynuser: yeah

landonorris: are u okay?

ynuser: yeah im just surprised

landonorris: so you didn't know about it either?

ynuser: obviously not

landnorris: im sorry yn :(

ynuser: why? it's not like he owes me anything lol

-> im happy he started dating again in fact

-> was getting worried lol

landonorris: u sure u good?

-> doesn't really sound like u are

ynuser: im fine

-> plus i need to stay professional. i still have a job and there are crazy fans and all

-> thanks anyways lan

landonorris: alright, im here to talk if u need

-> so is the rest of the grid tbh

❤️ Liked by ynuser

iMessage

Instagram: 03/04

ynuser

Tagged: urmumuser

ynuser a little break back home with the parents doesn't hurt 🌊

@f1's the best for letting me regenerate lost brain cells <3

Liked by f1, fbsfuser, racerbia, and 702,009 others

View all 53,197 comments

f1 we got ur back queen ✊🏼

-> user in the middle of all the drama, this could mean so many things...

-> user well im gonna take it as them sayin that theyre on the right ship :)

user ngl guys the distance rn is probably 'cause yn and osc so close, especially with osc dating brianna, like she probably did it out of respect for them. no one wants to be 'the girl he told me not to worry about' yk.

-> user allegedly dating*

-> user allegedly dating*

user omg the parallelism to brianna with the surfboards 😭

-> user we've truly reached peak delulu i love it

landonorris enjoy ur break from a grid of shitheads 💪🏼

-> carlossainz55 speak for urself

wbuxtonofficial how am i going to handle them without you 0.0

-> ynuser well, not to state the obvious, but drivers are just... humans.

-> georgerussell hilarious

racerbia gorgeous girl 🧡

fbsfuser take me with u 😔

Round 4 (05/04-07/04): Japan

mclaren

Tagged: oscarpiastri, landonorris, vindiesel, and mrodofficial

mclaren A little surprise for our papaya boys as they come back from their Friday practices! 🤫 Here's to hoping we go fast and furious in the land of sakura 🌸

Liked by f1, ynuser, racerbia, and 851,092 others

View all 60,004 comments

user the lack of yn's interactions with the whole grid is actually making me glitch throughout this weekend. and it's only friday 💀💀

user omggggg van diesel and michelle rod!!!!!!

user they really be spoiling osc lolll

user it's so weird to see an interview without yn

iMessages

Instagram

mclaren

Tagged: oscarpiastri

mclaren H A P P Y B I R T H D A Y @oscarpiastri!

Our baby driver is 23 today, here in Japan! Drive well, birthday boy! 😎🌸

Liked by f1, fbsfuser, racerbia, and 905,874 others

View all 35,621 comments

user happy birthday ossie!!!

landonorris: our baby is growing up so fast

-> f1 we must shrink him.

user wow she must be pissed if she took her first annual leave during this totally coincidental time

-> user fr sis is fooling no one.

-> user this feels like such a bad omen omg 😭

-> user guys maybe our bestie yn just really needed a break... haha...

briannawood_ happy birthday osc ❤️

-> user oh my god

-> user she actually exists

-> user girl what are you doing here

-> user ayo???

alexalbon happy birthday!!!!!!!!!!!

lilyhme HAPPY BIRTHDAY OSC

fbsfuer hbd

-> user oh-

ynuser

Tagged: oscarpiastri

ynuser to the one who vexes me, encourages me, n supports me sm, happy 23rd birthday. i've known you since your rebellious days, trying to prove to the rest of the world how your dream was worth fulfilling, and i'm grateful to have been with you to this very stage of your life. from re-watching cars and fast n furious for over a decade, to re-watching ur races and my interviews, know that i'll always be there, on or off track, no matter what. to the bane of my existence, from ur twin devil x

Liked by others

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user oh im gonna be sick is she the one who told f1 to invite vin diesel and michelle rod 😭💔

-> user u are spitting facts but in this case facts should not be facting because this is actually making me hyperventilate by all the drama rn

user no im sorry but why does this sound more like a goodbye than a hbd note

user yn trying to prove that she's actually a great write when she wants to be

-> user and SHE IS 😭😭😭

user the way she doesn't sound like herself AT ALL wtf is going on

user this sounds like a very strange way of resigning 💀

-> user YOU TAKE BACK WHAT U SAID RN

Comments on this post have been limited.

Twitter

Round 5 (19/04-21/04): China

ynuser

Tagged: f1

ynuser im back 😈 lovely weather here in china as we start round 5's quali day!! let's get back to it 💪🏼

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f1 she's back!

user oh my god i thought we were never gonna see her ever again

lewishamilton missed our fav presenter

-> georgerussell frfr!!

-> mclaren actually ☝🏼 she was and will always be OUR fav

fsfbuser welcome back gorgeous <3

user well... the good news is that she sounds normal again

-> user nah bruh im right here in the paddock and she looks nervous/twitchy af

user the besties obvie haven't made up yet 😪

-> user or maybe they never will...

oscarpiastri come on back over to our pit, you left before i finished changing ?

-> user oH WTF

-> user this shit is actually going to be the death of me

-> landonorris i thought we agreed that i'd call her? 🤨

-> charlesleclerc hush for a little while she's over at ours rn

-> user this is too funny

-> user is this a pr trick or some shit 'cause IT'S NOT FUNNY ANYMORE

Twitter

Instagram

oscarpiastri

Tagged: ynuser

oscarpiastri you are never escaping me ever again.

(forgive my impulsive actions tonight everyone, i swear im only ever like this around her)

Liked by landonorris, fbsfuser, ynuser, and 1,397,819 others

View all comments

francisca.cgomes SHUT THE FRONT DOOR. FINALLY.

-> lilymhe I KNOW RIGHT

-> pierregasly oscar can be so oblivious sometimes...

-> fbsfuser boy he was blind, deaf, and dumb for as long as i've known them. like pick a struggle??

-> landonorris i second this

logansargeant kinda giving serial killer vibes but u two are cute enough to forgive that

-> ynuser 🤪

-> maxverstappen1 i can finally go back to the garage in peace without u following me to talk my ear off

-> oscarpiastri u knew this whole time??

user i am going insane.

-> user maybe i hit the blunt too good this time...

-> user @landonorris and @fbsfuser u guys are the gods of all wingmen.

user oh thank god he wasn't actually dating brianna

-> user our queen and king can come back stronger and better now 😩

user your honour, nvm, my parents just got back tgt :D

ynuser 10 years, both of us having a nasty high school relationship each, and a rumour bomb that exploded from underneath me... i think i have every right to try and escape again.

-> oscarpiastri this was not funny when u first said it, and it will never be.

-> logansargeant ok but it kind of is

user my fav writer inspo is now my fav driver's wag MY HEART

landonorris thank god i dont need to listen to the both of you whining anymore

-> ynuser who said we're stopping 🤨

-> oscarpiastri you can't escape me either lando.

-> landonorris this is foul @mclaren i suggest you give me a raise for keeping ur other driver in check

-> f1 haha no.

mclaren thank god we don't have to whisper every time we see something suspicious now

-> redbullracing im ngl, same.

-> astonmartinf1 we once had to watch while they bantered with each other for 10 minutes 🧍🏻‍♀️

-> scuderiaferrari not that it's a competition, but they were always close to pecking each other whenever they were here

-> alexalbon wait why were they even in any of these garages??

-> mclaren ask oscar why he keeps following her...

user that interview was INSANE

-> user i don't think i've ever seen such a surreal confession oml

Twitter

a/n: lowkey cringey hehe. this was supposed to involve a wedding (for a mclaren engineer not oscyn loll) where they'd all be dressed up (you know... DRESS) but i reached the pics limit 💀 honestly i would've written this out as a one shot or smth but once i start i will never stop... and i have my ibdp math final 😭

[electricalhuzzah]

You know who the relationship reveal is gonna be objectively insane for? Soos.

Like yeah Dipper’s gonna be furious but also he knows Bill and Ford have a history so it’s not necessarily the biggest shock. Soos doesn’t know they have any more of a backstory than Bill and the rest of the family so from his POV he brought this messed up triangle home and Ford immediately started fucking him with no preamble. If you don’t already know they’re exes who never got over each other that must be *nuts*

my good man you keep hitting the nail on the head with this shit.

to be fair, with or without the history, ford basically started fucking bill with no preamble within what? five(ish) hours of making eye contact? granted the pines don’t necessarily know that they hatefucked on bill’s first day of being human.

i didn’t mention this in the story, but in the fic, the book of bill never made it out past theraprism security measures. so the pines never got it, and they don’t know about the missing pages unless they were told. thus, the degrees of awareness amongst the pines are as follows. NOBODY CONSIDER THIS CANON TO THE FIC yet BC im still plot mappin and shit and i dont want to accidentally commit an incontinuity. ok here we go.

while dipper knew about the history between bill and ford (from the last mabelcorn i think? whichever one they done the brain scanner), i’m operating under the impression that he believed them to be advanced colleagues. somewhere between a professor-student relationship and a deity-worshipper relationship. he knew it was fucked up, but he thought it was like,,, normal fucked up.

mabel is still under the impression that bill is just hung up on his deity ex “bjorn.” ford never really got around to telling her about their history, and frankly he never really wanted to. so she also has no preamble, AND she thinks bill is just rebounding with her grunkle.

stan probably has the most context out of all them, and even that’s not a whole lot. during their sea ventures pre-fic, ford probably said something to the effect of “my relationship with bill was, in a few instances… less than professional and more than platonic. now, please, stanley, can we leave it at that?” then they got drunk and emotional and ford said a bit more than he likely should’ve. by the next morning, they were deeply hungover. ford didn’t remember saying anything; stan thinks he remembered something about someone loving a triangle and torture and eye stealing, but then again, he also seems to remember playing strip poker with a mermaid, so he’s not entirely sure how much was real.

soos. dear soos. we love soos. he’s got no context. he thought they HATED each other. and he’s begun to see bill as his employee/mentee/child who’s tryna do better. soos is reading those contracts with the theraprism to make sure he won’t get his probation officer/parental rights revoked on the grounds that his paternal figure’s brother is fuckin the convict/patient.

im keepin my mouth shut about melody for now.

OK PEACE AND LOVE AND CORNDOGS

[drcaspiancrow]

OKAY SOTHE CONTRACT?? heres a lil analysis for you or more like just my jumbled thoughts

(please dont judge this was super rushed i literally JUMPED from my bed to my computer to write this out okay?)

Okay so song first. I'm gonna do an overview and then some lines that I'll pick out.

I think it's safe to say Clancy's talking here now that the song and mv is out. I'm debating whether he's talking to Nico or Torch here. I think this song, as evidenced by the video as well, is Clancy's thought process when he finally meets Nico, and the inner battle of the smearing Nico does to him. I think it's basically what the Clancy tour was, Clancy second guessing himself but deciding to fight in the end. (because of Torch heheh)

In the first verse(or maybe pre-chorus? idk song terms), I think the "he" and "necromancer" is definitely Nico, but if Clancy is talking to him the rest of the song song with "you" it might not make sense to suddenly refer to him in third person. On the other hand, I do think the "hallucination I used to see" in the chorus is Torch. But we have the same problem with pronouns here as well. Though, notably the end part where Clancy promises "you" is definitely the Torchbearer. In the mv (I'm trying to keep these separate at first but wtv) it cuts to a shot of Clancy saying the line to Torch.

The "promises and contracts I used to keep" in my opinion, is both to Nico AND Torch. I think Clancy here is reflecting on how he's failed both of them. Nico, by betraying Dema and vialism, and Torch by performing for Dema, or maybe even just having any mixed feelings about Dema at all or struggling to fight back.

"I don’t sleep much, that's crazy, how’d you know that? Keep myself up, that's maybe how you know that," I'm just gonna go with he's talking to Nico here because if we zoom out a little into metaphor territory. Blurryface knowing that Tyler doesn't sleep much because he keeps himself up would make sense since, as Tyler's said before the night is when Blurryface is at his strongest, and when he attacks Tyler.

"I wanna get out there, But I don’t try, I wanna get out there, But I don’t try." I think this part is Nico's smearing almost getting to him. He's second-guessing himself and doesn't want to try anymore.

Alright now the juicy bit. "I used to see, It felt so real, But now I plead, Just take the deal, I promised you, A contract." I was hesitant when people said Clancy couldn't see TB, but this, with the repeated mention of "my hallucination I used to see" kind of makes me want to believe it. (though it could be Clancy losing his faith in TB because he lied to him about his ability idk)

Or wait: "seeing" could be Clancy when he was at his most confident. He used to see the light, or a clear path, but now he just wants to take a plea deal and get out of the fight with Nico because it's very challenging. He wants an easy way out.

The most important part here, though, is the last two lines. I think this whole end bit is Clancy saying "I used to see hope, but now I'm not so sure and I want to give up. But I promised Torch that I would make it through this so I'll keep fighting."

and that's kind of the whole point isn't it?

[chaotic-iguana]

Tease

Based on this ask here. Here’s my masterlist and ao3 link.

Summary: Reader teases Joel all day, seemingly getting away with it until a few days later when he decides to get his payback, with a little bit of angst and plot sprinkled in. based on above request. (no/pre-outbreak AU.)

Pairing: husband! joel x reader (no use of y/n)

Wordcount: 4k (yeah i know. i know)

Warnings: bondage, dacryphilia, edging/denial, overstim, mean daddy dom! joel basically just fixing your attitude, smut and fluff, a little angst but its ok he takes care of it, implied/referenced age gap, husband! joel, soft joel but also most importantly malewife! joel ofc. MDNI please

A/N: so i went way off the prompt here and fleshed this out into a whole fic (my longest one yet actually); i hope you dont mind. i did change some elements, but it is still a pre-outbreak fic with an established relationship, and joel does technically punish reader for the pool party. i sprinkled some (~2k words) plot in to sort of have the forgetting about it element yk? and also im just feral for husband joel so this was an extremely experimental fic. i really hope you like it! 

——————————————————————————————————

So far, it had been a really good day.  Your newly-moved-in next door neighbors invited you, Joel, and Sarah over (along with half the block) for their housewarming party. For the first two or so hours, you sat on a reclined chaise next to the pool, watching Sarah splash around with the kids down below while Joel sat next to the grill with the other men, drinking a beer and in a seemingly animated conversation with someone. 

You wanted to laugh at the scene, witty comments about white men crowding to gossip about one of their three common interests - football, grilling or women - sitting just on the tip of your tongue while you chatted with Mia, your long-time neighbor and friend. Lying in the sun with a mimosa in hand, a book on one side of you and a companion on the other made something itch in your brain; a need to break the comfortable lethargy that had set in your bones. 

You were just this close to melting into the lawn chair out of boredom - lifting your head to scan your surroundings for Joel again, squinting underneath a furrowed brow when you can’t seem to find him. He was just there. Huffing, you grabbed the overshirt you had on-his flannel, actually, and pulled it up over your head. Gesturing for Mia to pass over the sunscreen, you took some out in your hand before starting to rub it in circles all over your arms, chest, stomach and legs. 

You were about to turn and try and get some on your back as well, when a man you don’t remember meeting before walked up to you and asked if he could “help you out”. You stuttered and told him it was alright, your husband would do it for you, swiveling your head to find him but gritting your teeth when once again, you couldn’t find Joel. Growing increasingly irritated, you turned to your friend, rolling your eyes at her teasing grin. “Where is he?” you mused, equal parts irritated with Joel for going MIA and with the creepy man you could see still hovering just a few steps away. “Why don’t you go find him? I’ll look after Sarah and yell for you if something happens,” she offers, smiling with a knowing glint in her eye. 

He’d been busy with some big construction contract these past two weeks, and the one morning you thought he’d be able to spend with you was spent with him passed out on the couch; apparently Tommy had needed to be bailed out late the previous night and he’d slipped out while you were sleeping. You missed Joel. He should have been the one helping you with sunblock, not some random guy-John, you’d learned, from two streets down with a chihuahua and a dentistry clinic not too far-who also evidently lacked the ability to shut up, because now your head was swimming with useless things about him he’d offered up to catch your attention, obviously thinking your “husband” was an excuse to end the conversation. 

So maybe you conveniently forgot to put the shirt back on and decided to find Joel in your skimpy swimsuit. Maybe you even batted your lashes at a few of the men gathered on the other side of the pool, and laughed a bit too sweetly and easily at their terrible jokes and obvious flirting. Just as you were about to ask if they’d seen where Joel went, the man himself materialized behind you. You felt a possessive hand grip your waist as he peered at the guys you were talking to with something in his gaze  aggressive enough to suddenly make all the men stuttering, bumbling fools who were instantly unable to meet your eyes, sheepishly muttering excuses before turning back to each other. Suppressing a grin, you turned to him and brought a hand up to his cheek, peering up at him through your lashes. “So evasive, Mr. Miller. I was having such a hard time finding you, I had to settle for spending some time with other people, instead.” You watched his gaze get darker, hardening as he trailed it over your form. Got him. 

“Let me introduce you to my new friend, John. He’s a dentist and he has the cutest dog,” you grip his wrist and tug him behind you before waving at John enthusiastically and walking up to him. John, you found, was also a complete idiot, because he choked on a greeting when he caught sight of your nipples through the swimsuit. Nevertheless, you persisted. “Meet my husband, Joel.” You point at John, explaining to Joel “Y’ know he’s also really kind? Offered to help me apply my sunblock without me asking. I was struggling with my back and chest, wasn’t I John?” you turn back to the man in question with another deceivingly charming smirk, watching him wither under Joel’s scowl and nod meekly; mumbling an apology and slinking towards the drinks. 

Catching sight of Joel’s thunderous expression, you innocently raise a brow at him before stretching exaggeratedly, palming his bulge subtly as you move your hands over your head. “Sitting around in all this heat, think I need to cool off for a bit. See ya later” is all you offer to him, slipping into the adults’ side of the pool before he can retaliate, biting your lip in an effort not to snicker at the frustration teeming from him: clenched fists and tightened jaw, narrowed eyes and furrowed brows. He let out a long, shuddering breath before waving back to Sarah and stalking back to his friends. 

Overall, the party was pretty boring. But holding Joel’s gaze every time you bent forward just a littlemore than necessary, giggled at someone’s musings more than was warranted, or bit your lip in that way you knew drove him crazy before turning away from him and back to whoever you were speaking to? Priceless. You’d be willing to pay to do it again. 

His breaking point was when he saw you get out of the pool, water dripping from your hair and mascara smudged just enough to send images of you with his cock down your throat flashing in his mind - him slamming his beer bottle down before smiling tightly at his companions and thanking the hosts, grousing something about an early morning before his hand was around your wrist and Sarah bundled in his other arm - barely giving you any time for goodbyes as you were being dragged behind him in the direction of your home. 

Laughing at his desperation, you cocked a questioning brow at him before feighning naïvety to the situation. “What’s wrong? I thought you were kept plenty busy at the party, no? Why’re we leaving so soon?” you questioned, capturing your bottom lip between your teeth as you frowned at him and searched his face. “Not early. Been five hours, sweetheart. ‘S a school night, remember?” was all he remarked to you before opening the door and carrying Sarah up to bed. 

You honest-to-God waited for him in bed, but the fatigue from such a thrilling evening caught up quickly after the adrenaline faded. Before you knew it, you’d fallen asleep in your new set of lingerie, blinking awake when your alarm went off at 5 am the next morning. Blearily pulling yourself out of bed, you groaned in frustration at the fact that you still hadn't gotten time with Joel and it was Monday again. Which inevitably meant he'd be caught up in his important contract this week too; coming home late, leaving early, the whole spiel.

The week passed by in a monotonous blur, and you got increasingly snappier with Joel in the short minutes that you did see him, frustrated with the distance that had developed between you two. On top of everything at home, work had gotten more stressful lately as sales didn’t meet the quotas and your boss decided to take it out on all of you. Normally, it wouldn’t have bothered you; he was a dick to you most of the time, but you couldn’t even rant about it to your favorite person because you barely saw him. You needed Joel - not just on top of you - holding you, talking to you, comforting you as before. 

Friday rolled around, and turned out to be extremely shitty while it was at it. Your alarm didn’t go off, thanks to which you reached work thirty minutes later than usual after dropping Sarah off. Some intern had fucked up paperwork, and the fallout was promptly handed to you with a jeering tone and sharp glare as if it was somehow your fault. You’d forgotten lunch at home, so you had to spend the day on stale coffee and somehow bitter biscuits, and when you reached Sarah’s school to pick her up as usual they told you Joel had done it already. Feeling tears of frustration build up in your eyes, you dialed his number while climbing back into your car. Was it so difficult to communicate simple things like ‘I’ll pick her up today’? A text or quick call would have worked; saved you the trip and your boss’s biting remarks about your “priorities” while you walked out of the office to get to Sarah’s school in time. 

When he didn’t pick up, you drove straight home. Fuck going back to work. You needed your bed. And Joel, but he clearly was too busy to so much as pick up a fucking phone. Wiping your eyes, you slammed the car door shut and started trudging to your bedroom, too overwhelmed to notice that the door had been unlocked. Jumping, you gasped in surprise when you walked it and saw Joel sitting on the bed, holding two wine glasses and looking up at you. “What the fuck, Joel? What are you doing here?” you bit out at him. He blinked up at you, frowning at your anger and the tear-stains on your cheek while you glared at him with eyes red from crying. 

“Told the boys to handle it today, thought you looked a bit rough lately, wanted to spent the evening together. Dropped Sarah off at her friend’s house an’ was just about to call you to take the day off. You okay?” his tone was so gentle, concern evident in his voice as he reached a hand out towards you. 

“Call me? Oh, so suddenly you’re capable of using a phone?” you bat his hand away and continue “And I’ve been looking rough?” your laugh is bitter, but your anger morphs into something sharper. “Maybe I’d look less rough if I saw my husband more often or if he could just pick up the damn phone and text me when he’s picking our daughter up so I don’t get into deeper shit with my stupid fucking boss!” You’re yelling by the end of it, but you can’t stop the words tumbling out now. “And I’ve missed you so much, tried so hard on Sunday, but you just didn’t come to bed. This week has been absolute dogshit-fucking interns messed everything up and somehow it’s on me-and you’ve been so distant,so I’m so sorry for looking rough, Joel.” Your tears return with a vengeance, and you turn away from him as you feel them spill over your lashline, pressing your hands into your eyes as your shoulders shake.

And suddenly he’s in front of you, solid and warm and there again, crowding you into his arms and holding you tight against him. “I’m sorry, honey. I’m sorry. I know I haven’t been here, and it’s been tearing me apart too. Missed you every damn day, shoulda seen how I’ve been at the site all week. Been snapping at everyone left and right. And I’m sorry I didn’t pick up - my phone was chargin’ an’ Sarah was telling me a story the whole way there so I didn’t see you’d called till just now.” His hand cradles your head under his chin as the other strokes your back, and he’s so gentle you want to cry harder. 

You stay there for a while until you feel calmer, pulling back to look up at him. His eyes are wide, swimming with worry as he wipes your cheeks with his thumb. You sniff, bringing a hand up to swipe your nose, and grimace apologetically at the wet patch of snot, tears and makeup on his chest. At the quizzical way he raises a brow, you clarify, with a grin: “I’ve completely ruined your shirt.”

“Could think of better ways to ruin shirts, baby. An’ don’t think your effort on Sunday went unnoticed either. Was so damn ready to rip that lacy set off ya, but some idiot kid told Sarah a ghost story an’ I had to check under the bed n’ in the closet every two minutes till she fell asleep. By the time I crawled into bed, you were asleep and looking so peaceful I didn’t wanna wake you. ‘M sorry, honey”. His thumb was rubbing circles on your cheek now as he looked down at you, regret written all over his face. 

Softening, you reached up to press a kiss on the corner of his mouth. And another on the other side. And another, until you were just ghosting your mouth all over his face and jaw, giggling when his lips twitched into a smile. “There’s my girl” he whispered into the kisses, making you beam as your kisses got more feverish, more urgent. All the need from the past few weeks came rushing back, making you dizzy with desperation as you caught his bottom lip between your teeth and tugged, moaning softly at the hitch in his breath. 

Suddenly, your wrists were caught by one of his hands and he was stepping back. “Then again, honey, found it really fuckin’ difficult not to notice you at that party when you were teasin’ me all evenin’. Did ya enjoy putting on a show for our neighbors, hm?” his thumb trailed your jaw, fingers curling under your chin as you nodded. “That’s not something good girls do, is it now?” And then he was ducking his head, sucking bruises into your neck and soothing them with his tongue. He chuckled at the whimper that escaped you, his hand coming down to swat your ass. “Answer me, sweet thing. Do good girls go around begging for attention when they know daddy’s gonna take care ‘f them?” the rasp of his voice cut through the haze building in your head as you gasped when he nibbled your ear.

“N-no daddy. Plea-please take care of me,” you whined, trying to pull your hands from his unrelenting grasp as you felt him swat your ass again. He just gripped them harder, nipping at your neck before he pulled away completely, chuckling at your alarmed whimper. 

“Relax, sweetheart. Course ‘m gonna take care of you. But I gotta punish you, too, remember? Didn’t think I forgot John and his adorable dog so quick, did ya?” His smirk became animalistic as he nudged you to the bed, pawing at your clothes to guide you to take them off. 

“Wouldn’t know how it works at your age, old man. Thought your memory mighta started to go by now,” you coo up at him, eager to see him undone. His answering snarl prompted your smirk to widen before he looked down at you with a tight set to his jaw. 

“Got such a mouth on you, babygirl. ‘S okay, I’ll take care ‘f it,” was all the warning you got before his hands were everywhere, groping and grabbing at you while his mouth resumed its assault on your neck. His bites got harsher, making you yelp, and he grinned against your skin before lapping at the near-broken skin before trailing his lips downwards. 

He pinched your nipples harshly, rolling them between his thumb and forefingers before ducking down to catch one between his teeth and tug cruelly, making you release high-pitched moans as your back arched into him. Switching sides, he starts flicking the other one and smoothing over it when you whimper before trailing hot open-mouthed kisses into your sternum and moving down your body to settle with his head between your legs. Turning to the side, he started nipping the inside of your thighs; rolling the flesh between his teeth and sucking at it till they were matted blue and purple. Leaning back to admire his handiwork, he brought his mouth down to press kisses just above your mound, moving back to your thighs before you huffed and bucked your hips. His eyes glinting dangerously, he smiled up at you before tilting his head. “Need somethin’, baby?” his voice was laced with amusement as he drawled the question up at you, watching you buck under him. 

At the stubborn shake of your head, he laughed before dragging a thumb down your folds, holding it up for you to see the slick coating it. "Y'sure, pretty?" you could hear the cockiness creeping into his voice and it just made you needier, whining down at him to do anything. His mouth ghosted over your clit, stubble scratching right there before he moved down to your thigh again, making you wind a hand into his hair and pull, albeit harshly. Tutting, he pushed up onto his elbows. "Wasn't very nice, now was that?” his lips quirked to the side at the sight of your frustration before you stuttered out a pathetic "t-touch me, please", at which he laughed again. 

“Needy little thing. Let’s fix that attitude, hm?” and he pushed off entirely, stalking to the closet and pulling out a tie. Looming over you, he weaved the strip of fabric between your headboard and secured your wrists to it. “Too tight?” he checked, looking down at you to sense any discomfort. When you pulled experimentally to check and showed him it was alright, he went back to his earlier position. Blowing a breath over your cunt, he relished in your squirming before grazing your clit with his teeth and pressing down softly before lapping at it. Pressing kisses against you, he slid a finger inside you and began pumping it at an agonizingly slow pace. Feeling your orgasm approach embarassingly fast, you opened your mouth to warn him, but just as you began clenching against his finger, he pulled away to pull the hood of your clit back and blow on it again, making you keen. 

Smiling, he inserted three fingers into you roughly before using his teeth on your clit again, your sensitivity making you mewl and rock your hips away, but his other hand attached itself to your hip to pin you to the mattress before his fingers began fucking into you in earnest. Pulsating in his mouth, you felt yourself about to clamp down again before he pulled out and away once more. Whining and kicking your legs out in aggravation, you frowned down at him and watched him smirk at your tantrum. 

This time, he kept his head up to maintain eye contact with you while he ground his palm against your clit and squeezed three fingers into you again. Bringing you to the edge once more, he answered your devastated whimper at the denial by slapping your clit in rapid succession, each hit harder than the last and making your thighs twitch. 

He continued for what felt like hours. The sun went down, and with it the lingering scraps of your pride and expectation to come. He edged you until you were a mumbling mess, babbling broken pleas down at him; till your clit was painfully red and swollen and your slick was running down your thighs. Tears were flowing down your face as you bucked your hips in search for his fingers, but his merciless chuckle taunted you again as you sobbed. “P-please, please, ple-please, gonna be g-good, please…” Your voice broke with every word you wailed, and he contemplated for a second before nodding and entering you in a single thrust. 

You could feel the tip of his cock kissing your womb, overwhelming you to the point of pain. A wince marked your features, making him pause and strum your clit  before starting to fuck into you at a brutal pace. You were yanking against your restraints now, eyes rolling back into your head every time he entered into you - hitting the spot that made your thighs begin to shake uncontrollably. 

Your babbles were reduced to mono-syllabic moans, rendering you unable to warn him of the release you felt coiling in you. When you started clenching against him, he just doubled down the force of his thrusts and the movements against your clit, delighting in the way you twitched at the oversensitivity as he drew out your orgasm. “D-daddy, nnh-D-Da-Daddy” was all you could get out as the oversensitivity consumed you, making you go limp as his pace didn’t falter. 

He gripped your chin and leaned forward to spit into your open mouth, eyeing the drool dribble down your chin as your jaw hung slack. “What is it pretty girl? Use your words.” Another thrust. You opened your mouth to answer him, to beg him to slow down, but all that came out was a pathetically shrill “ca-can’t” as he rolled his hips into yours halfway through your word, making you choke. “Eager enough to whore herself out in public, but when she gets what she needs she can’t? Too bad, pretty girl, you’re gonna get it now.” He stopped for a glorious second, reaching down to rest his forehead on yours before planting kisses on your face and forehead to give you a second to breathe. Glancing up at your straining wrists, he pulled at the knot of his tie to free them, then resumed his previous speed. 

Raking your fingers down his back, your eyes fluttered shut at the continued drive of him impaling you on his cock, meeting his mouth in sloppy kisses as his fingers came down to flick over your clit again. “Again.” His command sent a jolt through you, pulling you taut as every cell in your body pushed itself to overdrive to obey and every sensation seemed to multiply tenfold. Joel was everywhere, consuming your entire being, and you felt your joints lock up as your hips arched off the bed before you were cumming devastatingly hard, soaking him with the force of your release. His fingers kept abusing your clit, your whole body jerking with the force of the hypersensitivity. He pressed in impossibly deeper, sobs hiccuping from you and weak hands pushing at his chest. He pressed into you languidly, in slow, deep strokes that left you ruined before gasping in your ear and cumming deep inside you. 

Going limp on top of you, he pressed his face into your neck and lay on you as you both caught your breath - ruining the peaceful moment by looking up at you with a boyish grin and a twinkle in his eye, glancing down at your joined forms and snickering like a child finding much-coveted candy. At the furrow in your brow, he elaborated - “Who knew all it took was a little edgin’ to make you squirt, huh?” And judging by the tone of his voice, you knew it wouldn’t be long before he was going to test that theory. And he did - twenty minutes later. And again. Over and over, until your cunt was convulsing and throbbing with oversensitivity - only then did he pull away, gathering you in his arms and holding you to him before suggesting softly, “Sarah wanted to stay over for the rest of the weekend. Let’s pick her up on Sunday, and how about you and me take some time to ourselves, hm?” You nod into his chest, voice too hoarse to reply, and hum in contentment as he starts stroking your hair. You needed to act out more often. 

hello loves, as always - thank you for reading. comment your thoughts or find me on ao3. stay hydrated and have a great day! taglist: @imherefordeanandbones @breakfastatjoels

[the-s1lly-corner]

Lurker again! Sorry for double requesting but I did not want to lump these in the same ask. Could I also ask for a reader who is like Swan from Phantom of the Paradise? With Narinder please! Thank you!

Narinder x Swan!Reader

pretend im saying something here RAAAAAH RAAAAH- and i dont mind the double req!! always happy to write potp based readers evil laughs notes: reader is gn, reader is any creature, swan as in the character from phantom of the paradise, not swan as in animal but they can be imagined as a swan here, non specified creature for the reader, youre not a follower, pre betrayal narinder, you guys have an undefined relationship, reader owes their soul to someone but its not stated to who they owe it to, reader is not part of a cult theyre kind of doing their own thing, admin didnt have a clear idea of what to do here but! yeah cws: blood/body horror mentions but its very brief

youre both hard to read, though its easier for narinder to understand you due to him having the ability to read minds... though i like to imagine that it took some effort to read it

knows your soul belongs to someone else and lets you know that he knows- you absolutely hate it when he mentions it, sending daggers his way

due to your contract you dont really get hurt or age, so hes going to be stuck with you for a long long time, and the odds of you still being around when hes eventually released from his chains is pretty high if your contract is still in order

youre not at all bothered by your arrangement, though hes very vocal about how if he were in your position he would... hate it, to put it kindly- to have your life and power rely on whoever made the deal with you

funny given his status as a bishop does that, in a different font + his eventual defeat by the lamb putting him in your shoes, kind of

to outsiders it may seem that the two of you despise each other, or perhaps trying to string the other along in order to use for later in some way- however the two of you are...

okay well actually thats a pretty accurate assumption, however there is some fondness shared between the two of you even if both sides will deny it to themselves that you enjoy each others company

he does want you in his cult though, even if you dont give him much faith he knows youre powerful- manipulative, as well, something that can be useful to keep followers in line

narinder 🤝 you

having something to do with your face that makes it either split open or melt off, making a huge mess and getting blood everywhere

sure you cant do yours on command but hey its a nice little similarity- and suuuuuuure yours is a sign that your contract has broken and your body is falling apart and succumbing to rot but hey! you guys are twinning!

hes more emotional- in the sense that he lets his anger get the best of him and get out of control- while youre more cool and calculated, and it really drives him insane when you two get into a disagreement

[insociometry]

a fantasy fic!!! i love fantasy!!!! vnm?? 👀 is that the title? 👀 what is it about?? crumbs??? 🤲🏼

Hahahaha should I pitch it to you? 😆 It's kind of silly!

“The Villainess Needs to Marry One of the Eight Legendary Heroes?!"

Of course, like any self-respecting otome game fan, you knew about “Draconic Heart: The True Princess Returns:"; you even pre-ordered it back when it was first announced! But life happens, and one thing led to another, and you never actually got around to playing it — which becomes catastrophic, once you die and wake up in its world as the tyrannical illegitimate empress doomed to be overthrown by the heroine.

Nothing to be done for it now. Working off what was in the trailer and pre-release character profiles, you map out an adequate escape plan. Miss Heroine, you are welcome to this war-torn empire and the eight beautiful men who defend it any time! Please come collect your eligible bachelors before they give this villainess the wrong idea!

…Wait a minute, this game wasn't supposed to have a harem ending, was it?

I’ve been calling it “VNM” (Villainess Needs to Marry) and calling this version of the MC “VN!MC”! It’s like VNM(C)… but also like vn/visual novel MC…

It’s very inspired by and meant to invoke kr rofan webnovels, manhwa, and otome games! It’s ostensibly the same MC as in RON, though her life circumstances have been pretty different, so she’s kind of a different person, too. Same cast of background OCs, also different from their own different lives, and obviously the same love interests — but made into princes and knights and wizards and priests. And like RON, it’s a subversion and exploration of tropes in a sense, but mostly it’s a love letter to a genre of story that I already adore 🫶

Overall I would say it’s a darker and more complicated story than RON, but the narrative tone is more humorous! And the dynamic/vibes between MC and SKZ are… really really different! Obviously RON is super an AU, but just because of my own comfort level, it was close enough that there were some things I was unwilling to do within it — but VNM is super super super an AU, and the boys are… pretty freaky (positive) (also negative, I guess, if you’re not into that)!

Magic! Curses! Gods! Monsters! Mysteries! Political intrigue! Contract engagements! Unreliable narration! Sex pollen! Vampirism! Dream-sharing! Gratuitous and kind of heavy exploration of trauma and various social inequalities! Soulmates AGAIN!

I don’t have any endorsements I can quote at you since no one knows about this story except me so here are some excerpts from my notes instead. The first is from the start of the plot outline, and the next eight are each from a different guy's character profile, so feel free to guess who’s who 🤭

“opens to meeting with all the guys and chan telling mc none of them are interested in marrying her and she's like (internally freaking out, omg am i the villain?? what day is it???? fuck!!!!!!!) okay well i dont want to marry u either. begone. then she gets a nosebleed and passes out”

“(self-sacrificing type who always says they wont do self-sacrifice)”

“real archetype: disgraced prince angry for his people who is a huge softie once he melts; extremely eligible bachelor. archetype assumed by mc: playboy”

"mc assumes he must have an edge outside being a guy who does his job (incorrect)”

"kind of a play on the proud cold duke of the north trope. but blonde”

"used to be a gardener"

“in his bad ends he tends to go yandere crazy (kills u then himself type)”

“in his bad ends he tends to go yandere crazy (locks you in a tower type)”

“if he had bad ends he would go yandere crazy (locks u in a tower OR kills u. he’s multifaceted)”

[rwbypro]

For the character ask game...... I mean you know I have to say Tsubaki and/or Shamrock.

[This ask game] This one is long so imma put it under read more

1. Why do you like or dislike this character?

Tsubaki: I have a thing for morally dubious/evil found families, especially when their leader has simultaneously killed a ton of people/seems evil, but at the same time has a massive bleeding heart and cant resist reaching out to people in need, as in they are almost always my faves. Tsubaki fits all of these.

Shamrock: Honestly I like characters who have conflicting loyalties, and Shamrocks whole thing which having been a c3 agent is so fun.

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

Tsubaki: His relationship with team M and how flowers are a big thing to him mainly because his little sister loved them.

Shamrock: Him being a c3 agent, adds some fun potential dynamics both pre and post canon

3. Least favorite canon thing about this character?

Tsubaki:

Shamrock: idk i guess him telling sakuya to kill himself was a lil annoying(dont get me wrong i 100% get it, like completely why it was a thing but yeah), but idk cant really think of anything

4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?

Tsubaki: Maybe its cause I just finished the new book, but Tsubaki in the hunger games world, especially if hes still a servamp would be interesting, and he would cause so much chaos in the capital I bet. (If i were to make a crossover i would have him accidentally form a contract with either Katniss or Haymitch before their games)

Shamrock: Danganronpa, i want to throw this man into any of the danganronpa games, because it would be fun.

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

Tsubaki: Hated By Life Itself, and Glad You're Evil Too specifically the English cover by Rachie

Shamrock: Bakudanma/Compulsive Bomber by Yorushika

6. What's something you have in common with this character?

Tsubaki: Well for one i have a lil sis. But mainly the similarities are stuff like having a hard time talking about/acknowledging feelings, accepting compliments from people or the idea they would just want to be around us. Its something ive gotten better at over the years but yeah...

Shamrock: I used to be a big stickler for the rules making sure to do things exactly in the right way, i am still very particular about things but yeah. also i used to be alot gloomier like shamrock, once again its something ive worked on alot over the years.

7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

Tsubaki: Poly team M! Poly team M! Also i love how goofy he is in stuff/the joke posts about him.

Shamrock: Poly team M! Poly team M! And I love it when people draw him with his hair down, he looks much better like that, when his hair is back it gives him receding hairline vibes.

9. Could you be roommates with this character?

Tsubaki: I think it could work, but it would depend. If we both had bad days at the same time tho both of us are forgetting to eat.

Shamrock:... no i really dont think so, mainly for shamrocks sake, seems like i would just annoy him lol.

10. Could you be best friends with this character?

Tsubaki: Maybe not best friends, but definitely friends, he seems like he would be nice to hang out with, the only issue is that his laugh my hurt my ears, but yknow what, worth it!

Shamrock: No, mainly because i would enjoy annoying him too much, it would honestly be a problem, either that or he would scold me over something and i would start crying. (I do really want to ruffle his hair to mess it up and annoy him)

11. Would you date this character?

Tsubaki: Maybe 1 just to see, but mainly just want to be friends.

Shamrock: See above answers lol.

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

Tsubaki: When Tsubaki uses slang he usually uses it wrong, when he does there's a 50/50 chance he is either getting it wrong on purpose to fuck with people, or he genuinely thinks he's using it right, and it is impossible to tell which.

Shamrock: Belkia regularly sends him those fake recipe videos like How to Basic being all like "Heeeey sham you should try to make this! They look good!" He always watches because sometimes Belkia sends genuine recipes that do end up Really Really good.

13. What's an emoji, an emoticon and/or any symbol that reminds you of this character or you think the character would use a lot? (Im gonna do the use alot part becasue the other one would be too easy)

Tsubaki: idk why but i can see him using heart emojis alot, especially when talking to team m.

Shamrock:👍 He just seems like the type to only really use the thumbs up emoji, he mainly uses it when responding to texts from other members of team m asking him to grab something from the store or other errands.

15. What's your favorite ship for this character? (Doesn't matter if it's canon or not.)

Tsubaki: Tsubaki/Belkia

Shamrock: Depending on my mood, Shamrock/Higan or Shamrock/Tsubaki

16. What's your least favorite ship for this character?

Tsubaki: Tsubaki/Lawless i guess, idk i dont really tend to have ships i hate/dislike often

Shamrock: cant think of any rn

17. What's a ship for this character you don't hate but it's not your favorite that you're fine with?

Tsubaki: Tsubaki/Sakuya not a ship i'll seek out stuff for, and i cant really come up with ideas for, but i may read stuff for it if a friend wrote it/the tags seem interesting.

Shamrock: once again cant really think of anything...

18. How about a relationship they have in canon with another character that you admire?

Tsubaki: His whole thing with the rest of team M

Shamrock: His relationship whatever it might be with Shuuhie, maybe admire isnt the right word but i do think its neat wether platonic or romantic or something else.

20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn't matter?

Tsubaki: Belkia need i say more. Okay outside of team M i would say Kuro.

Shamrock: Maybe not best friends, but i can see Shamrock and Mahiru really getting along post canon. I could definitely see them like shopping together n shit.

23. Favorite picture of this character?

Tsubaki: Tied between these 2

Shamrock:

24. What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them?

Tsubaki: Jin from xenoblade chronicles 2, and Haymitch from The Hunger Games(Especially after reading Sunrise on the Reaping)

Shamrock: In a minor way Kirumi from Danganronpa V3.

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

Tsubaki: I thought he was interesting, but wasnt sure he was gonna be my favorite.

Shamrock: Atfirst he was just kinda... there for me. like yeah his whole schtick was a lil funny but he didnt really stand out to me. Then the whole thing with his past was revealed.

26. What's something the character has done you can't get over? Be it something funny, bad, good, serious, whatever?

Tsubaki: Tsubakis whole "I will never betray anyone even if they betray me first" thing, i still think about that, like all the time.

Shamrock: Shamrocks "In the end i didnt want to be forgiven" with Shuuhie and how he still called Tsubaki young master.

27. "Favorite way to hurt them in writing/art?"

Tsubaki: Nightmares, experimented on or 'trained' by c3. Just i can and will put this man through the horrors. (He also looks very nice when he cries)

Shamrock: I love him dealing with the guilt of having been a c3 agent and realizing just how much he thought he knew was c3 propaganda. Plus so much stuff with his conflicting loyalties.

[willowreader]

I know someone with PEM. They got sick with Covid before vaccinations were available.

This is what this

PhD Dr. says @chydorina (on Twitter X)

This is THE 'to-read' paper if you want to understand the physiological basis behind PEM from activity (Scheibenbogen is one of the authors).

PEM (post-exertional malaise) is a confusing concept for patients but it is not a black box. We do know a lot about what is going on and we definitely know enough to say this this process should not be triggered and this needs to be a priority.

The summary

ACTIVITY LEADS TO:

1. The accumulation of lactate, ROS, and the deprivation of cellular energy sources.

This occurs every time we hit 'go' and perform an activity. If we dont have the juice to complete this activity safely - we get into a cycle where metabolic demand continues to increase and exercise capacity keeps declining. If we keep going and going this cycle get worse and ROS starts damaging the mitochondria.

Practically this means that all future activities would take WAY more energy than they would previously if done at a pre-PEM baseline. The activity at the beginning would use normalish amounts of energy and produce normalish amounts of lactate/ROS etc. just as long as kept under the threshold but further activities would use WAY MORE ENERGY and produce MORE ROS and lactate than they should.

2. The DELAYED EFFECTS which include symptoms getting worse are due to triggering "immunometabolic downstream effects".

This means that the above changes have far reaching consequences on OTHER SYSTEMS FUNCTIONS. Those damaged mitochondria start to effect other basic functions like our immune function and our metabolic function.

3. In a final nail in the coffin the "immunometabolic dysfunction" then triggers problems with ionic imbalance (electrolytes) and triggers more muscle activation, mitochondrial damage, and immune responses.

4. Exceeding already reduced activity capacities enters affected patients into a recurrent and self-propagating loop.

Saying we dont understand PEM and that it is a black box is wrong. We understand a lot. We dont need more information to know that this process should NOT be triggered.

Please read paper.

Towards an understanding of physical activity-induced post-exertional malaise: Insights into microvascular alterations and immunometabolic interactions in post-COVID condition and myalgic encephalomyelitis/chronic fatigue syndrome (2024)

link.springer.com/article/10.100…

[security-unit]

changing around my pinned post hi hello

call me omen/syntax, it/it's, I am an adult !

certified MB show hater, i literally cannot stand the casting </3 i wont maintag my evil rants and shit tho bc yall dont deserve that.

I am green now to promote aromanticism. get more aromantic NOW!!!! that is an ORDER private !!!!!

i am no longer asking . if you gender murderbot im straight up throwing you into the shark pit

my greatest contribution is the murderbot writes fanfic post. and I love it. I love in-universe fandom stuff so so much PLEASE tag me in anything in-universe fandom related I EAT THAT SHIT UP !!!!!

thank u for reading :]

here's some fun links <2

Compulsory (Short story set right after MB hacked it's govmod)

Home (you know the one)

here is an entire ebook with cool stories in it, including Obsolescence (you remember "Human Rovers"? want to experience the PAST??)

Murderbot + ART Interview :]

[bt-tarot]

my theory is do rich families sometimes sell their children to kpop for further profit or they are approached by someone from the agency? i have a feeling that with nepotism being quite relevant nowadays or a reason for an idol to debut, or is it simply that they always have some sort of connection to said agency? it seems very rare that we hear of anyone normal / low income since pre 2016 kpop and ive just wondered why kpop has goven into wealth and an idols background seems to matter more if they have had it lucky since birth ie: jennie or maybe even jisoo. so it makes me think that something weirder goes on if they do indeed come from a rich family they maybe are either given the choice or they are told they are becoming idols at a young age. i could be very wrong ofc but i dont know i dont like this nepotism direction kpops been in for some time. id like to see people of dofferent backgrounds but it always seem to lead back to them having some sort of popularity or them having a connection prior to becoming an idol. i hope this makes sense and thank u very much in advance!

This is a super interesting topic, kind of polemic. I’m going to give my opinion on that instead of asking to any form of divination, I hope this is good to you as well and if not, let me know ;;

I’ve been asking myself the same question about the whole music industry, not just the kpop industry.

I like to analyze it since it’s my work field and I came to learn that everything is ✨nepotism✨ these days (and probably was always like this) and if not, definitely connections or interests or something else. I wish it wasn’t that way but it’s very rare when it isn’t.

Remember that a career in the industry it’s something that costs a lot of money. Promotions, marketing, recording, mastering, mixing, planning, the concerts, the rehearsals, the production, all that costs a lot of money. Now add a whole team of dancers, makeup artists, producers, musicians, accountants, legal team, content creators, video editors and many more. Just being a two people team costs a lot if they’re not 100% self produced.

The industries will never lose, so their way to secure money is knowing the people they will debut will pay back the huge investment they’re doing. They will play safe and they need to know what they’re getting into. If they’re from a wealthy background they know the families will support their children, either financially or socially. They have contacts and money so is easier to make connections, they know how to negotiate. If the trainee had that "it factor", and were popular before because of their charisma, it means they will catch the attention when they're in a group too (at least that the reasoning). Even if the group doesn’t perform well in the end they know they’re not losing completely since they gained an ally or got away with whatever deal they wanted or just got a good source of income for a year or two.

Making a group that doesn’t have that facilities is risky. That’s why there’s less groups like this. They rely on fans, who are the biggest pillar in an artist career, but if they don’t reach enough people in the stipulated period (that usually is the end of their first contract) then it will be difficult for them to arise. They need to connect with the fans, but they need the tools to do it. Some of them are controlled by the agencies and don’t have the time or the permission to do activities or lives or promote. Some of them don’t even have social media, how do you connect personally with your fans, your people, if you don’t have personal social media?

And don’t get me wrong, maybe there’s people out there who are breaking their backs to get where they are now and keep pushing until they rise, but that happens if you know how to connect, how to catch the attention of potential partners or clients or listeners and if you know how to make business. Kpop idols get in the industry when they’re 13 or less, you don’t know about business at that age unless you’ve been raised for it or you got it in you, which can happen, but it's not common. Also they recruit children with dreams, they sell dreams, and as they grow they realize, but at that age is easy to believe and you're more ambitious.

Remember the music industry, at the end of the day, and sadly, is that. Business man selling. My pessimistic side kinda showed up with this. I'm sorry for the long post. Not everything is bad, tho, but if you ask me if I think nepotism will end, sincerely, I would say no and it will keep happening because the industry needs loyal investors.

[vialae]

Past life Durge asks for Kaidos:

2. Did they keep anything from their old family and home? A memento or a skill perhaps? 6. Bhaal loves money; did your Durge inherit that trait? Do they enjoy luxuries or try to live a frugal life, giving their all for their temple? 12. Durge gave a gold coin to a beggar once; why did they do it? Did this occur regularly? Bonus ask: whichever question you wanted to answer most but haven't been asked :)

under the read more again bc i cant keep my answers short and concise lol. thank you for the asks though, i really am enjoying writing these out!!

2. Did they keep anything from their old family and home? A memento or a skill perhaps?

I've been wanting a reason to talk about his family!! I think I've only ever briefly mentioned them in one fic before, but his adoptive family were a tiefling mother (Innise Escaris) and human father (Kadin Escaris. yes they were people who named their kids after themselves. he has a human sister called Inqine). They owned and ran an apothecary in the Lower City, so Kaidos grew up around all sorts of potions and remedies. Pre-tadpole, he had memories of watching his mother nurse children with nasty coughs and overworked fisherman with achy joints seemingly instantly. In his child mind, it seemed like magic.

As soon as he was old enough to be trusted with holding the bottles and the ingredients, he would readily help his parents mix together whatever the people needed. At night, he would take the books on medicine and read them under his covers.

Although a quiet and awkward kid, he knew a hell of a lot about Medicine early on, and it has stuck with him.

6. Bhaal loves money; did your Durge inherit that trait? Do they enjoy luxuries or try to live a frugal life, giving their all for their temple?

He is a sucker for a rich fabric or two. His favourite wine is Suzailian Sweet, so keeping that stocked up can get pretty pricey too. Whenever people come to Bhaal's temple with contracts, Kaidos will typically give himself the higher paying ones (under the excuse that he knows the Upper City better than most others in the temple do) and leave those in the Outer City/Rivington, etc. for lesser Bhaalians. His followers still got their fair share, but certainly not as much as Kaidos did.

After all, he is Bhaal's son.

12. Durge gave a gold coin to a beggar once; why did they do it? Did this occur regularly?

Despite how pampered he was in the temple, Kaidos could still remember what he was like before that time. In the time after his family was gone (by his own hands) but before the luxury of the temple, he did live in abject poverty.

Kaidos had personally been in that beggar's position before, so it really struck a chord with him to see others like that too. To know how bitter and unfeeling the city could be to others, to have been on the receiving end of such a cold shoulder.

The cocktail of feelings he would have felt at the time likely would have panicked him, knowing that the temple would not look favourably upon acts of charity to souls that would have otherwise gone unmissed.

Giving money away would not have been a common occurrence, but when it did happen, it was probably when Kaidos thought Sceleritas Fel wasn't looking.

Bonus/whichever one I want to pick: 9. What would a typical meeting of the chosen have looked like when your Durge attended?

I just wanna talk about them arguing again!!

By the point where they are Chosen and in Moonrise, Kaidos would have been insufferably bratty 'dont you know who my dad is' type of stuck up. Gortash would have found ways around that particular attitude (and probably ways to use it to his advantage to manipulate kai) but I really feel like Ketheric would not stand for it at all.

Kaidos with a nasty attitude, talking at rather than to other attendees of the meeting. Ketheric bluntly letting him know that shit doesn't fly under his roof. Gortash making small remarks to instigate and further encourage Kaidos. Kaidos taking the bait, and it ends up with Bhaal and Myrkul's Chosen arguing for the nth time.

Kaidos is very good at what he does, but he is absolutely awful to try and talk to unless your name is Enver Gortash and you figured him out on day one.

[cipherjuice-bioexorist]

okay I NEEED to yap

I lOVe how beetle forcefully removes himself from the role of Bill. From using a mannequin, to a different job, to even a full on different name.

And even in the beginning, even though his name was Billiam, he didn't go by bill!! Man's went by LIAM. LIAM. YOU DONT UNDERSTAND HOW FERAL THIS MAKES ME.

Not only that his parents aren't great. His dad's a drinker and abusive, his mom is also a drinker (at least it's implied) and likely negligent, based on what Beetle had said.

Momma isn't there, and daddy hurts them. I don't know if 'daddy' is ever physically abusive towards beetle, but I wouldn't put it past him.

Also I love how you wrote the fic. Only referring to mom and dad as how the child would. Momma and daddy. We don't get to know their real names, likely because they both SUCK and it provides that separation, specifically from scalene and Euclid.

Not only that, beetle is only ever referred to by name a SINGLE time. Dunno if it was on purpose but I do like it. It shows how in his older years how he absolutely hates the name. Dunno why though.

Though this brings up more questions- I'm pretty sure you're implying that beetle, after the abusive, finally hit a breaking point, and almost quite literally blew up, destroying his dimension. I noticed you use fire in alot of your themeings ESPECIALLY with beetle, so there is no denying that they way his dimension was destroyed was via his fire

But fire can't burn a ENTIRE dimension right?? Fire is also 3d, because it takes up space and such. The fire would need to be like a nuclear bomb to burn a 2d dimension (if we are implying it's like a shadow in how it's 2d)

Endless of course... the dimension was a contract. Or made by one. It's been established that beetle can burn contracts, which i theorize was the major reason he had such a good business back in the day, pre divorce arc.

If the dimension was built on a contract... it's no wonder he could burn it all.

🐦‍⬛💊 HOT BELGIAN WAFFLES THATS ALOT.

number one, THANK YOU. Number two, the not naming beetle and the parents was completely purposeful lol. I was like "...fuck these guys they don't get names" so now they are only mom and dad.

W

I will admit, I wanted to imply the physical abuse towards beetle a little bit more, as it did happen, but I felt it might ruin the beginning illusion of everything being fine.

And teehee, I won't say <3 you'll just need to find out

[the-s1lly-corner]

Hey! Can you do the news reporter from Metalocalypse x assistant reader plsplspls with a cherry on top? I am not the man who shall not be named. I promise /j

Dethklok minute host x assassistant!reader

I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE!!! I KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!!!

RAAAAAH I'm not even taking metalocalypse requests!!!!! But just for you bookie bear <\3

Imagine you two are already close when he gets all burned up, you helping him keep those fresh wounds clean and tidy... I mean I dont know much about burn wounds, I'll admit that, but I do know they can get nasty infections... so helo that man out!

Sometimes vents to you about them as well, as well as the contract

The contract

I saw a headcannon somewhere that the host is legally binded or whatever to the network, and cannot quit at all. The hc also stated that he wanted to leave after getting all gummed up

And honestly , I love that idea. So much. I'd tag the person but I saw this nearly two months ago and I forgot to like it I'm so mad at myself

Please let him know hes loved and has value, that whole thing above as well as the scarring has done such a number on him mentally

I think most of the time his hair feels.... jsjdjv... because of the products he uses for shows and stuff, but when its freshly washed and clean I think that it's very soft. Give him scalp massages. Trying to keep up with dethklok stuff and dig for information drives him up the wall, as well as the whole stress of the contract thing

He probably gets migraines from the stress tbh

Back and forth banter between you two between when the show is on and when it's not.. honestly I think he likes towing the line between getting caught and

.. not caught

I mean it depends on if you guys are openly in a relationship

You know

Loves hovering around your little workspace, strikes up a bunch of conversations with you

Uses his show host skills to chat up a storm and draw questions out of you to get to know you better

Sneaky bastard you probably don't even notice it yet

And now he knows your favorite flowers and hes dropped off some at your desk with a little note

Depending on when you guys get together determines on how hold he is. Pre burns hes going to be all up in your face and confident, and post burn I think he would he a smidgen less... confident.. even more so when the drooly bits start hanging from his mouth

That being said I dont think he fully reels himself back into a shell, no I think he would still push himself to put himself out to you but

You know

Anywahs I hope you enjoyed this fartboy I know who you are!!!!!!!!!