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#i dont know if theyll be able to really Help in this situation
squawk-box · 8 months
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i'm sick. i don't have a job or savings
i've literally tried as hard as i possibly fucking can
but i'm basically out of time unless a miracle happens
i'm barely surviving out of a homeless shelter. being out on the streets would kill me faster than i could even pretend to keep up
i'm really scared, but i don't want to give up
please, if you can support me:
https://paypal.me/sqwkbx?country.x=US&locale.x=en_US
https://ko-fi.com/squawkbox
https://cash.app/$sqwkbx
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pizzapizzadickz · 2 years
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I feel a lil bit better today after getting some rest in. I always feel better when I can spend a day at home. I think tomorrow I'll wear my noise cancelling headphones or something so I can chill even more.
...funny how my way to chill is just trying to eliminate all external stimuli
(Pt 1 for description rant)
#diary#personal#i rly wanna book a therapy appointment but im having a rly hard time trying to get myself to do that bc i need to check i can vid call#cuz my computer monitor is broke and havent fixed it yetttt ugh.#i rly feel like researching autism again. idk. i saw a video about communication badges being used at furry conventions#and by god that sounds so fun ;-; like. i really struggle with interaction with others and talking is sometimes really hard.#mainly bc if theres a lot of noise i usually wanna block it out and if i gotta take my earbuds out to comunicate all the time its not fun#idk. i just wish i could go around writting shit out for ppl to read and thats that. no need to speak to clerks or crap.#bc imma be honest. i have a hard time hearing too. like in crowded places. its so overwhelming all the time.#its both a good and a bad thing that im giving myself the permission to be overwhelmed in situations#but its also making it much more difficult to actually be in those situations.#idk. i used to force myself through it. tell myself i like it or whatever. but by god everything just hurts nowadays#like. i dont like leaving my house mostly bc of the sensory overload.#i wonder how things'll change in the future. just how much more accepting will i and society be. i dont know.#but i hope i learn to cope more. bc life is really hard and imma be honest im struggling at best.#idk. i find it so hard to work lately. i love my thoughts. they are so fluid. and just. language doesnt keep up.#everything i say or write isnt quite right. and it bothers me. i sorta wished telepathy existed just soley so i could comunicate#idk maybe someday ill learn sign language. and maybe that could help. but it wouldnt help when im shut down. or having a meltdown#yknow. i find face to face human to human contacr really scary. i worry theyll want to do something and i wont#i worry i wont be able to get across my reasoning as to why. i worry that theyll see just how odd my behaviour can be.#and above all i just sorta worry they wont work with me to meet me halfway. like. im stuck with my family i dont want that with friends too#i hope if i visit them itll be okay. that like. i wont cause a problem or accidentally offend them or something?#idk. i wanna make friends n hang out. but as ive gotten older ive discovered just how much i hate that.#like i saw a rly cool tik tok about how they set up their home for all their autistic friends when they come over.#like. its established you can just stop talking and remove urself if you wanna. and theres stim toys n plushies n shit. and low lighting#and just. that sounds like heaven. i struggle so much in social situations. bc i eventually get tired.#and it makes me feel sorta burnt out/depressed. so itd be nice if i could just remove myself from a stituation whenever.#or just lay my head down on someones lap and silently observe.#i wish i knew what to do when i get overwhelmed in public. bc it happens a lot. and i freeze. and idk what to do.#and ill cry and get overwhelmed and shutdown or meltdown. and i start to aimlessly wander and its sorta dangerous tbh?
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thedeafprophet · 4 months
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Uh hi idrk how to sound normal in asks lmao but. I am curious. About more of your thoughts/opinions/theories on Scarlet Hollow? I played it for the first time recently but don’t really know anyone else who has besides like the one person who got me to play it XD
(Also your post about diagetic text boxes as subtitles for a hard of hearing PC sent me, I love it so much it’s canon to me)
hi you are sounding perfectly fine in ask XD i know at least a few flondon people who have also played it
So, as it stands right now, I don't have a lot of solid theories that arent vague, for one major reason: I don't think we have enough information to concretely theorize yet.
We have a lot of good buildup (something with the sigils, something with a curse maybe? something to be free from, that we're drawn here, suspicious incidents with the families death, non human creatures, Sybil being sus as all hell, whatever the hell the entity is etc), but we have yet to be provided with anything that would give us any solid conclusions. This is by design, i imagine starting next chapter as we explore the manner things will begin to unravel.
So my basis is like this 'the previous scarlet family members Did Something that put some sort of curse/trapping on the family in some sort of magic situation with some sort of consequences, all of those are beginning to unravel now for some reason'
beyond that, I really dont know! I have faith for black tabby to pull off the mystery, lots of good inklings, but a solid theory on whats going on? nada. One thing i will say is i expect black tabby to be doing their own things, and will be far more creative then to do like, a 1:1 with christian mythos or something lmao. theyve said that with the sucess of slay the princess theyll be able to 'get weird' with scarlet hollow which is very exciting
I have a lot of mini inklings and suspicions but that about it XD
ie. Sybil affecting the players thoughts, family curse, whatnot. Oh i also think it'd be interesting if whatever is possessing 'Wayne' could be able to body hop..... much to think about
thank you thank you. i've had fun considering that my scarlet hollow pc could also be hard of hearing like me. Ive toyed with the idea that the magic interference (ie the ghost miners in chapt 2) would mess with their hearing aids on a frequency level, so thank goodness for magic textboxes to help them
if u have any specifics you'd wanna chat about feel free to ask XD
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voidimp · 2 months
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Desire, guilt and hunt for oli?
desire: What's one thing your OC wants more than anything in the world? Are they open with that desire? Why or why not? What would they do to fulfill it?
this is always such a tough question for me to answer bc the concept of Having An End Goal is such a foreign concept to me. ppl are really out here trying to do specific things?? knowing what they want out of life? i could never. & honestly like... obviously i cant give that to every character bc it would get boring real fast but i think i can give it to oli. i dont think they really have something in mind!! im not sure they would be able to answer the question themself, in terms of either material or immaterial goals. like especially being. however old they are (at least a century at this point idk specifically) theyve done a lot of things, theyve had a lot of experiences, theyve definitely collected lots of stuff. i think they tend to just go after something until they either get it or get bored of trying.
to kind of answer the second part, it would depend on the specifics; they might be open about it, if they think that would help them obtain it, & they probably wouldnt ask for help but might try to convince people to help in a less direct way. they dont like to ever seem like they need assistance from other people... even when they do.
i guess for a more serious answer their main goal is just be the freedom to do whatever they want forever lmao
guilt: What is your OC guilty about? How do they handle their guilt? Do they try to avoid guilt, or do they accept it?
REPRESS THAT SHIT!!! NEVER FEEL BAD ABOUT YOUR PAST ACTIONS except when they compound & u suddenly break down & have a panic attack about it BUT THATS PRIVATE!!!!!
theyre very stubborn, so they try to convince themself that their actions were justified, that they just did what they had to, but theyre... not always right. theyll overreact & then act like they had no other choice but still feel bad about it & pretend they dont. it kind of just ends with a lot of conflicting feelings all around.
as for what theyre guilty about, um. well the killing people is definitely the big one. it hasnt actually happened often, despite the whole being a vampire thing (generally speaking the amount of blood theyd be taking wouldnt actually be enough to kill someone), but theres a few instances they havent quite gotten over yet. they still have some lingering guilt about their brothers death back when they were kids, even though it wasnt their fault. theres not much else coming to mind thats really notable, theyve definitely got some bad habits that theyre not super proud of but no particular instances that were more significant than the rest.
one thing theyre not guilty about (usually) is whatever happens as a result of them sharing the bits of information theyve picked up about people. if they dont want their secrets getting out, they should be a little better at keeping them secret.
hunt: Who or what is your OC hunted by? A person, a feeling, a past mistake? Is your OC able to let their guard down, or are they constantly alert?
ok so. this one has been tripping me up for fucking ever. i do not know how to answer it. if it was haunt i think i could answer it more easily (oli has been around for a while, theyve done a lot of things & known a lot of people & made more than their fair share of mistakes) but hunt? i dont know that theres really anything or anyone in particular theyre hunted by. i feel like it would be a more situational thing? like if theyve pissed someone off recently, or if someone has caught onto the vampire thing... so i guess like. not really anything specific, just the looming threat that someone could have their eye on them?
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gibbearish · 4 months
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Hey, I found ur trans quiz thing on uquiz, I think I'm in the right place. Anyway, I'm basically positive that I'm trans, but I don't know if I should come out. If I do, my mom and brother will be disgusted by me, (both Christians) and I'm pretty sure I'd get the same result from my best friend. My real name is Roman, but I put Charlie for my username bc I want to be Charlotte instead. I don't want to bottle up my feelings, but I'm sure they would all judge me. What do you suggest I do? Thx for listening.
hey there! yep you reached the right place:3
this is always a tough one, i was in a pretty similar situation when i was in high school. i know a lot of people will say like "you never know until you try, the people who love you might surprise you!" but personally ive always found that to be somewhat shallow advice. you know the people in your life better than randos ever will, so above anything else i would say to go with your gut here. if it tells you that coming out now wouldnt be safe, then unfortunately i think it probably would be in your best interests to just keep your head down until youre able to set up a life and support system outside of them, so that if things do break bad it doesn't fuck you over.
that being said, that doesn't mean you have to bottle it all up either, nor does that mean all hope is lost for having a relationship with those people afterwards.
first, try to seek out others like you in your life right now. im not sure how old you are but most of the people who've reached out from the quiz have been high schoolers so i'm going off that assumption, if you are in high school i would see if your school has a GSA you could join, or if that wouldnt be a possibility bc ur parents wouldnt let you go then you could try reaching out to the teacher that runs it to see if they have any advice or could help you connect with other queer kids outside of the club. if you can't do that then you may still be able to connect, i know the stereotypes abt people "looking gay" are shit but there are also legitimately queer style choices that people make on purpose because they want to look queer (myself included), and while openly saying "hey you look gay lets be friends" would suck, ill let you on on the secret code to tell queer strangers you recognize their vibes: "omg i love your hair". and obviously randos can give that compliment too but im being 100% serious when i say that if that comment comes from Another Queer and is said in the "im gay too please notice me" way, it hits different, idk how to explain lmao. or "i like your pins" if they have pride stuff. really it's just you pointing out the Thing that made you go "you seem like me," and then complimenting it to show the other person youre cool with that stuff. and obv follow the other persons vibes, if theyre just like "oh thanks" and then turn back around then just move on w ur day, but if theyre like "omg i love your hair too!" then *hacker voice* youre in
anyways on to the second part which is all hope is not lost:
you may not be able to come out to these people now, BUT you may be able to start laying the groundwork to do it further down the line. i'm not saying start religious/political arguments, obv do whatever you need to stay safe, but you can start just. nudging them in the right direction. like say your parents are ranting about something right on the line of anger abt queerness, like a guy wearing eyeliner or w/e, you could drop a noncommital "eh i think it looks cool but i get it" or "i mean its kinda just facepaint when you think abt it tho right?" or another example i cant think of right now to just kind of. push the needle a little bit. and with this kind of thing it's very important you dont go into it expecting immediate change, like. this is you planting the seeds so that in six months when theyre trying to fall asleep theyll be like "....huh. i guess it kinda is just like facepaint, so. why is facepaint ok for men but makeup isnt" yknow? so if you go into it with that being the expectation, the things you say hopefully wont register as confrontational or disagreeing, but just as like. the noncommital hand wiggle gesture. it can take a long time for ideas to take root in people so it makes convos much easier when you remind yourself not to expect immediate change
now obviously your mileage may vary, if you think even that would be too dangerous then absolutely feel free to disregard and just do your best not to let the things they say get to you. and either way remember that you WILL have your own life away from them someday where you get to be yourself, and it is never ever too late to start transition. no matter how long you have to stay with them to set up your own life, it is out there, and one day you will get to a point where whether they cut you off or not, it doesn't matter. you'll get to choose your own clothes, religion, hair style, makeup, house decorations, food, schedule, the world will be your oyster. so when it gets hard, hold on to that. i believe in u 💕
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sumnantics · 4 months
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After attending Once Upon an Elemntary together, and surviving Highs And Lows School (which everyone really just shortens to Middle School), they spent freshman year of highschool in different schools. Maisie went to Ever After High, and Neijiderick attended Beanstalk High, wanting to practice flying in the clouds. ...Not being a giant, he was ostracized and transferred to Ever After.
In the first year of her life that Maisie had not been locked at the hip with Neiji, she made close friends that werent him. ...And she realized that she wasnt feeling *best friendship* for Neiji, she was feeling *a crush.*
In the summer before Sophomore year started, Maisie confessed to Neiji.
It destroyed their friendship. He rejected her with GREAT vehemence. When they started school again, he completely ignored her in the halls. It was easy to avoid her-- being a villain, he had a completely different schedule than her, and being a Royal, he had completely different friends.
Maisie is an extremely perceptive girl. She may not be remarkable enough to make lasting impressions, but shes happy fading into the background. She does well in classes, but shes never perfect enough to shine. Graceful, elegant, scholarly, she doesnt need to try in her princess classes. Shes happy for that for the same reason-- she can people watch.
She's always been very mature. Perhaps its because she had to grow up too fast, shouldering her mother's emotional weight. This whole argument between royals and rebels all seems very silly to her-- The dramatics, that is. Because the moment she heard other students were planning to change their destiny, she wanted in.
She's never too worried abt Neiji. She *knows* him. She knows him better than he knows himself, shes perceptive and hes been all shes looked at for years. Shed answer his questions before he asked, shed figure out why hes upset before he even had a chance to feel it. She knows he needs time-- and she knows that, eventually, theyll both be in that tower. Alone. for years. And she figures theyll talk it out then.
As much as she retains her composure in most situations, theres one thing shes sensitive about-- her nobility.
Her *Destiny* is being a PRINCESS in a tower. But, generations ago, her family lost their nobility-- they had to sell it, their family too poor, and needing food more than a title. And since her story calls for a *Dragonslayer*, not a *Prince*, her family has never had a chance to regain their title.
A classmate, in an argument during class about who's on what side: Maisie's a Royal, *obviously.*
Maisie: Actually, I'm a Rebel.
Classmate: What? But... youre a princess?
Maisie: I'm a *Maiden*.
Classmate: Well, but you've got a Prince Charming?
Maisie: No. My story has a Dragonslayer.
(She corrects this constantly. everyone thinks shes a princess, and its the one assumption she will never not correct)
Neijiderick had felt growing resentment towards Maisie through all of Middle School. She was better and better at reading him-- and she was a middle schooler, who wanted to show off, and didnt have too much social awareness yet. She doesnt remember doing this, or at least how often, but she would constantly tell him what he was feeling-- "He just ignored you! Even though you waved. You must be angry, and hurt. I think he's going to his friends. I dont think he saw you, Neiji." Which seems benign enough of a thing to say, except she did it Constantly. he wouldnt be able to FEEL THINGS, and certainly he couldnt figure out his own feelings on his own. he felt exposed. He used to be able to take pleasure in sniping back at her when she got something wrong, but that only ever made her better at it.
He chose a different high school than her to get away from it all. That... didnt work out. The giants were cruel, and the teachers didnt notice-- or, they pretended not to. It made him spitting mad!!! But, he didnt know how to handle that anger, because he had always had Maisie-- either she'd help, or she'd try to help and then he'd redirect that anger at her for reading him too easily.
(He knows something about her that she doesnt. He knows shes not *that* good at reading him. Cuz she never read the growing resentment towards her correctly.)
When she confessed-- he ran. he ran immediately, squashed any reaction, left before she could read him-- he needed to figure this out *himself*.
And he did! And hes FUCKING PISSED. She's been hurting him all this time-- but, well, he never told her she was hurting him. She shouldve figured it out! But, well, he's GLAD he can keep SOME secrets. She KNOWS what his destiny is!
And there it is, he thinks. destiny. Hes never once considered that shed like anyone before her Dragonslayer. He thought he'd die before she loved someone. Maybe that was stupid? Plenty of people date in highschool, before signing the book of legend.
But why *him?* She knows more than anyone that he *cant return her affection.* He's got a time limit! And, even then-- He's going to be a DRAGON. dragons dont *kiss princesses.*
Thats right. Dragons dont kiss princesses. Dragons are ruthless, and mean, and *fucking cool*. And HES a dragon. (Wyvern, actually, but semantics.) He's going to sign the book of legends, and then after graduation like all the other magical beast characters, he's going to wake up the next day permanently in beast form.
So he ignores Maisie. Like a proper villain, and to avoid her seeing through him, and because-- look. he doesnt like her back. And, being her friend now would be *weird*. Knowing that every time they joke, every time they hang out, she'd be thinking of.... *romance.*
He changes his nickname. Avoids anything the reminds him of Maisie, actually-- she calls him Neiji,
So he goes by Ricky now. Ricky Fang. And he aces his classes, and he learns cool things like firebreath and attacking knights, and how to hold a Maiden in his claws-- a *princess*, he means, how to hold a *princess* in his claws to fly away with her.
and in his Villain classes, he meets--
Ramona Badwolf. Transferred to the school halfway through the school year. Immediately began gathering extra credit in her classes to make up for missing it, and almost as quickly made herself *known.* She was proud, and she was sly, and she was confident. She had an unwavering strength in herself-- she growled *scram*, and the halls cleared. And she was *incredibly pretty.*
Ricky was very interested in her. And he was even more interested when *she was interested in him*.
Turns out they have a lot in common-- theyre both gonna turn into magical beasts, theyre both going to have to dodge hunters, and they both know that being a msgical beast is going to be so fucking cool that it will all be worth it. Ramona asks him out, and he almost thinks he says yes too fast.
Ramona changes him, but really not by much. He was already punk, she just taught him how to show it. He cut his jacket into a vest, he collected all the shiny baubles he didnt before.
He has cultivated a very specific persona at Ever After High-- he's aloof, and distant, and hes quiet. He HATES the idea of someone being able to read him. And its hard to do, but he painstakingly makes certain he keeps those walls up around Ramona.
They date for a year, and it ends in flames. Literally. Their breakup is known throughout the school because they MADE IT KNOWN. They consistently make it known every time they see each other in the halls.
Ramona had gotten sick and tired of the mysterious facade. Sick of the distance. in their first Big Fight, she told him "I KNOW YOU, Ricky!" She didnt know that it would immediately terrify him, that hed get so defensive.
Ultimately, she knew the problem was this: He didnt see them as "serious" enough to trust her with his secrets.
He knew the problem, too! She seemed to think they were gonna stay together after graduation. can you imagine a WOLF and a DRAGON kissing? obviously not.
really, he was scared. Why else do people hide? if you cant see this part of me, ill never have to see you reject it. and really, she was scared too. She was scared he was hiding from her because he didnt ever actually like her, that she had been vulnerable in front of someone who was laughing at her the whole time.
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pas de deux reactions (shorter than last time i swear)
elgin fucking hero???? the fucking guts???????? this van ride is giving me a heart attack
ive seen the promo pics i know theyll get in but im here like what if they dont open the doors for them in time?? or at all? i havent seen elgin in the promo pics oh my god. but hes so new theyre not killing him here. right. right??????
oh thank god
shit dale really did do ellis good like oh my god the poor dude
he better not die i dont want him to die and he might and im so hurt and anxious rn
did yall know kristi's acress is actually a medical professional? apparently they hired her before they even knew that
anyway back to the angsting
im gonna die
i cant look i cant look i cant look
the blood oh my god
boyd is so good at pretending like hes not dying inside to comfort fatima and ellis like i get that he screwed up big time with the sara secret but man what this dude has done for all these people at the cost of himself... :( boyd appreciation post
its so sad to see him ask for help and people not really believing him thoo like yeah he doesnt have proof and hes not used to asking for help so it comes off unnatural and like hes delusional but man thats #relatable af
NOT A BLOOD TRANSFUSION BOYDS BLOODS GOT THE FUCKING WORMS IN IT IM GONNA LOSE MY MIND 😭😭😭
also poor jim he's so commited to his experiment theory and people are starting to look at him weird for it but i'm so on his side jim you keep at it you're on to something! i believe in you
the way the pieces are all fitting together here oh boy
man i dont remember my blood type i guess this is how i die in fromville
boyd im sorry but it's a worms or death situation over here. unless someone else is O-negative
KENNY 👏👏👏
hes a big boy nowww and im so proud
damn i really didnt think boyds mental situation would get him to the point where he's risking his son's life?! if someone else got this bad after sara i thought that'd be jade. i tought boyd was too main character for this. im sorry boyd. i didn't see how bad you were doing i assumed you'd just be able to keep pushing through because you're you. i'm sorry boyd. i'm ashamed of myself. this deterioration happened before my eyes and i was like nahh he's okay
theyre stealing this mans blood at gunpoint
THEY CAN SEE THE WORMS???
maybe edgin is O-negative too my poor sweet not-good-with-blood heroic boy
KENNY?????
KKKKENNY???????????
"GIVE IT TO ME" THIS CANNOT BE HAPPENING
THIS CANNOT BE HAPPENING OH MY GOD
are these people gonna be passing the worms around like a hot potato like. could kenny theoretically... give it back after the transfusion's done??
boyd we're gonna need this fucking blood rn
BOYD?????
I DONT WANT YOUR IDEA BOYD
BOYD?????????
your son is dying boyd
no one can say anything about recklessness to my boy randall after this
he's gonna kill a creature somehow isnt he
fatima must be having 20 heart attacks per second rn
it's our dear smiley poster boyyyy
oh there's more creatures. i thought it was gonna be a 1 to 1 faceoff to echo the episode's title
im not even that sure that boyd is gonna survive this anymore
i mean he HAS to he's the main character but holy hell
im losing my mind
kenny watching through the window like what can you even do about that
hows he gonna get the blood at him like suck it from his hand and spit it or like what
why is he so confident that this is gonna work
i guess him being like this is what got them the talismans like if he didnt come across the talismans he wouldve been so dead in the forest back then and ellis wouldnve died too
but its like this place kind of hhmmm rewards whatever the fuck boyds doing? it seems to work out for him somehow. but martin was the same way and well.
THE SMILEY BITCH IS NOT BLEEDING
oh my good
ellis is dying while this is happening
boyd really said wait hold on a sec i need to rid myself of this blood curse real quick ill be right back
MY BLOOD IS YOUR BLOOD NOW MOTHERFUCKER
ngl watching someone go on the offensive is so cathartic but i can admit that if i was in that clinic i would be losing my mind and not okay with this at all
IT DIDNT WORK???????
OH IT DID
no fucking wayyyyy
the nightmare creature's friends just ignoring him dying like not even scared a little bit???? they just showed they can kill you bro come on. must be unable to feel fear or something
oh yeah okay they were gathering around him and not around boyd damnnnnnnnn i cant believe this is happening
theyre CONFUSED
Boyd really fucking did that oh my god
the monsters are such bad friends to each other they dont give a fuck
i dont do so good with blood either. elgin i get u bro
the padlock on the medicine cabinet ouchie ouchie
donna and ethan are an interaction i wasnt expecting but theyre neat-o
sorry that jade isn't in the episode guys. i borrowed him for giving him hugs and kisses. i'll give him back for the next one dw. yeah victor's here too i'm giving him chocolate chip cookies. they're ok don't worry for them. sara's in the other room having a milkshake i felt kinda bad for her yeah
ethan is asking the real questions
DONNA DHSJDHSJDHSH i love her
ethan 🥺🥺
ETHAN 😭😭😭
donna...
AW donna
THE HUG THE HUG THE HUG
Boyd youre not okay oh my god this man
oh fatima 🥺
OH SHIT
"We shouldve trusted you" no listen it worked out by fucking miracle okay
what an episode dammit
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tw: underage nude sharing, underage erotic roleplay, underage sexting, possible victim blaming, discussions of rape and molestation
hi! im seeking support, reassurance, and resources, mostly. but i also just want to get a few things off my chest. ever since i was seven i would engage in erotic roleplay often involving rape and non consensual scenarios with much older guys. i didn't really know what i was doing, i was a very hypersexual child for reasons unknown to me and i didnt have any outlet other than social media. for some reason i was obsessed with the idea of being raped and molested, i feel really ashamed about that still. i felt really gross after doing it but i kept going back anyway. when my parents found out they said it was my fault and that those men couldve gotten in trouble because i lied about my age and tricked them, which i still believe was wrong of me to do. but the violent and angry way my parents reacted really affected me and that whole situation really ruined my relationship with sex and my trust in my parents.
when i was 14 i willingly started sending nude pics of myself to older guys who asked. they knew how old i was and i never lied about that. i stopped after a few weeks because i started feeling physically ill from the shame. my parents never found out about the whole situation but that was around the time when i thought i could tell them about how traumatizing the whole "thing that happened when i was 7" was for me. they git angry and told me i had no right to claim it was csa of any kind and that it was a slap in the face to real victims. it really hurt me and i havent told them anything since.
its been a year since then and recently ive actually started sending those pics of myself again. im really ashamed over it and i dont know why i keep doing it. the guys are all aware of my age, so im not lying now either. i feel weird and embarrassed about it but i dont feel like i can actually call this sexual abuse or grooming because im doing this on my own accord. im scared to tell my friends because i dont want them to look at me differently. i cant tell my parents because i know how angry theyll get. i dont really know what i want. anyway, my ending question is: is this actually sexual abuse if i quite literally asked for it over and over? is there a name for it? im scared i wont ever be able to live a normal life.
thank you so much, sorry for this shitshow lol, and have a nice day ❤️
Hi anon,
I'm so sorry to hear about what you've been going through. Please know that it takes a lot of strength and courage to not only endure these experiences, but to reach out and seek support.
It's worth self-reflecting on what you seek from these interactions, whether that's regaining a sense of control, seeking validation and praise, reenacting earlier trauma, or other reasons. Please know that none of what you experienced is your fault, and it wasn't right of your parents to blame you instead of the people that harmed you. That being said, you deserve to work towards choosing healthier alternatives to interacting with these men.
It's important to recognize that children cannot consent. Even if someone willingly puts themselves in a situation they know may be dangerous, that doesn't make them any less of a victim because either way they are still being abused and still deserve compassion, understanding, and patience. What happened still counts as SA. Experiencing these things as a child counts as CSA, and it happening over the internet qualifies it as NCCSA, or NCSA as an adult. Sending nudes of yourself as a minor counts as CSE, CSEM, and CSAM.
If you can access or afford it, a mental health professional such as a therapist could best help you process your trauma, collaborate with you to develop some healthy coping mechanisms, and guide you along your healing journey.
I hope I could help and please let us know if you need anything.
-Bun
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luo-not-lou · 4 years
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I got trapped in an elevator at work so can I request what Hisoka or other HxH characters would do if there as well?
Hi! So, I hope you dont mind my writing for Hisoka because it's not the best but ill try my best and i'll add Illumi and Chrollo to go for the adult trio. Also i made it crack because my mood told me to do so hope you enjoy it 💕 PD: I had so much fun writing this hshdjsjcj
Adult Trio trapped in a elevator|| Featuring Hisoka, Illumi, and Chrollo
Warnings: crack
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Hisoka M.
This dude...
Will probably crawl out of there by breaking the roof with his long juicy legs and will start climbing his way to the next floor when he feels the elevator has stopped
He 100% takes suggestive photos while he's there sending them to Illumi to mess around, or, he'll just stare at his beautiful self if there are mirrors in there
In the case he's not able to break through the roof wich I fucking doubt, he will just práctice stupid card tricks until someone rescues him or will start calling for help
The thing is
Hes not screaming the usual "HELP! IS ANYBODY THERE?!" kind of thing
Instead his thing sounds like "Hey~~~, Is anybody there... Able to hear me~?" like a moan or sm
Makes anyone in a 20m radio want to stay away and dont call for help
But yeah after some time he would be hella bored and will start annoying everyone in his contacts like
Imagine Kurapika reciving a random text from Hisoka asking if he wants to hear some jokes because Illumi didnt wanna answer him
He was THAT bored
And kurapika blocked him
So it was a lose-lose situation
If he's trapped with someone he'll suggest fucking to break the ice
So yeah he's a 4/10 to be around a 2m² close space
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Illumi Z.
He's pretty calm in the situation
However
I see Illumi being cloustriphobic idk why
But yeah lets try that
He seems really calm outside but on the inside he's a fucking mess and close to breaking the elevator to just escape his nightmare
Will try and escape through the roof pt.2
If he's not able to do it wich again I really REALLY doubt, he'll just wait there, looking scary
If there are cameras in the elevator it would look so fucking scary like those elevator scary pranks bc he doesnt move an inch, not even his hair like the cameras glitched or sm so when he blinks it's like
Woah he's still alive
God bless anyone looking at the cameras if he decides to move his head
But yeah no, he's just super scared and anxious, too much to even begin to feel bored
Wants to break the doors so hard rn
For the sake of his well being he will start calling for help but it sounds so robotic that no one pays attention like
"Help." "Someone. Help"
So everyone assumes it's a prank and dont bat an eye
Will probably start playing with his needles in his face to dont lose compousure but it's not working poor baby :(
If he's with someone i see it going two ways
1) he's calmer because he's not alone so he wont be as anxious but he wont talk even a tiny bit so the uncomfortableness it's 100% worst and the experience it's a 5/10
2) he sees it as a way to have even less space so he'll look súper scary and his hair might go up a little so it's a solid 1/10 experience you feel like dying in there trapped in a corner
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Chrollo L.
He keeps it because of the aesthetic ✨
But yeah he's mostly chill with it, he doesnt really care tbh, he has been trapped in worse places like Hisoka's room
He wont call for help thats for sure, purely because he just doesnt mind at all staying there thinking "Well, theyll fix this soon so why bothering"
And
Just like Illumi
He's just fucking scary for no valid reason
I mean who tf smiles like that :) being trapped in an elevator
He just sits there reading the Bible and again, just like Illumi, he hardly moves, he just does it to change the page and it's scaring af
If he finishes reading the Bible like a good Christian while he's there he'll start writing edgy poetry in his phone or a random paper to get his mind occupied because he doesnt like being alone with his thoughts for obvious reasons
If he's with someone the experience it's really soothing and charming I mean we all know how Chrollo is he's a really good talker and knows a lot of stuff smart boi so it's easy to have a conversation with him because of those reasons
The only con i can think about being there with him would be that he looks Shady and intimidating because he IS, like he's going to kill you in any moment
And an elevator is the worst place to be with someone who looks like (and is) a murderer
I'll give it a solid 8/10 for company tho
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mikeyfuckinway · 3 years
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ladynoir > the rest of the love square
ok i was one of the biggest believers in marichat being the way for love square to bond since they didnt have feelings for each other in that form and could be friends normally but now?
tl;dr marinette is creepy right now, ladynoir is where theyll have the best understanding of each other and can become close
i think ladynoir is currently the winning side of the love square. its definitely got to do with how i feel about marinette right now, im just pissed off w how her character is being handled bc it doesnt feel like she deserves it when people praise her for being so nice and considerate bc like
marinette is kind and considerate except when it comes to adrien. i couldnt stand it in the new york special when everyone was so impressed that she was asking adriens dad to let him go with them bc it wasnt fueled by her actually being considerate and wanting adrien to be able to go, its bc she didnt want him to be around lila!! it was fueled by jealousy and selfishness!!!! and then when adrien on the plane is like "youre such a good friend thank you marinette" i lost my mind!!! bc she wasnt being a good friend, she was being creepy and obsessive.
otherwise, marinette is a good friend! she helps other people and wants people to succeed and shes a very nice person! thats the marinette that they keeo telling us exists but when it comes to adrien she just devolves, and because of that im just pissed off with her right now and i dont think any development is going to come with her in this state
now ladybug is who shes meant to be. it never feels like she goes off character and she stills has bouts with morality but she handles them the way you would expect someone like ladybug to and all around the side she puts on as ladybug is far more mature than marinette.
i also think chat noir is a better avenue for getting to know adrien. in civilian form, theres 2 barriers in the way of getting to know adrien. first: he cant talk about chat noir stuff and he doesnt seem to want to talk about the freedom he wants and issues with his father that he does when hes chat. he seems like he wants to or feels like he should keep up this almost-facade. hes certainly opened up before but it still feels like hes got a second facade in place. all of his grievances with his father are presented in a very light manner, like "yeah it makes me upset but my dads got it rough too :(" whereas i feel he could express more of the anger he feels as chat
second, the fact that hes adrien. i think ladybug handles talking to adrien a lot better than marinette since she has to be more mature, but its still an issue
ladybug and chat noir are also the only place they can really talk about superhero stuff with each other. with marichat and ladrien they can certainly discuss it but its really only a one way discussion there. with ladynoir they can really talk and support each other since theres that understanding of "you know exactly what im going through because youre in the same situation"
this was poorly worded bc i have a head cold but i feel very strongly about this
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fridgeful-o-help · 3 years
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thank you if you can answer my questions, hopefully all 5 parts went through, and sorry that it ended up being kind of long and rambly. i really appreciate the way you answer people and thought you'd be able to provide some good insight which is why i wanted to hear your opinions if that's okay. thanks so much again, i really do appreciate any advice, and i hope you're doing well and having a good day or night. take care for now!
HI NONNIE! I GOT ALL YOUR ASKS AND ILL DO MY BEST TO AWNSER EVERYTHING I CAN. I DO TRY MY BEST TO BE HELPFUL, AND IM GLAD YOU THINK IM GOOD AT IT.
I HOPE THIS HELPS BUT IM VERY LONG-WINDED TODAY APPERENTLY
NOW, TO BEGIN. TYPICALLY WHEN ARGUING FOR NEOPRONOUNS AGAINST THE ARGUMENT YOU HAVE BEEN PRESENTED YOU HAVE TO GO FOR MORE... WHAT THE DIFFERENCE IS BETWEEN ASKING PEOPLE TO CALL YOU A SLUR OR WITH "BLMSELF" IS THAT THOSE THINGS CAUSE ACTUAL HARM TO OTHER PEOPLE. THERES ALSO THAT THERE ISNT ANYTHING WRONG WITH PIZZASELF, IT JUST SORT OF? SOUNDS SILLY? ITS NOT HURTING ANYONE, AND THERES NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING A LITTLE SILLY IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL HAPPY AND COMFORTABLE. A LOT OF PEOPLE WHO HATE NOUNSELF ARE GOING OFF THE BASE REACTION THAT ITS SILLY/DUMB SO ID KEEP THAT IN MIND. (FYI IF YOU GO BY PIZZASELF YOURE AWESOME. YOU DONT DESERVE ANY FLACK YOU GET FOR DOING SO AND KEEP BEING YOU BECAUSE YOURE COOL! 8}) BUT YES I AGREE, MOST IF NOT ALL PEOPLE WITH THAT ARGUMENT DO NOT USE NEOPRONOUNS THEMSELVES.
PLEASE REMEMBER THOUGH THAT IF IT WAS UNINETIONAL WHEN YOU INVALIDATE SOMEONE IT WAS AN ACCIDENT AND MISTAKE, AND YOU WILL MOST LIKELY BE FORGIVEN. WE ALL DO AT SOME POINT OR ANOTHER AND I PROMISE IT DOES NOT MAKE YOU A BAD PERSON.
COMING FROM THAT, THERE IS A VERY SIZABLE CHUNK OF NOUNSELF USERS WHO ARE LEGITAMATE AT LEAST THE LEAST, FROM MY PERSONAL OBSERVATION. A PATTERN I THINK IVE NOTICED IN (A PORTION OF) THE PEOPLE WHO I KNOW 100% ARE SINCERE IS USUALLY PEOPLE WILL SELECT NOUN PRONOUNS BASED ON HOW THEY FEEL ABOUT THEMSELVES? FOR THEM ITS DONE AS PART OF GENDER PERFORMANCE TO INVOKE A CERTAIN FEELING, LIKE SOMEONE WHO FEELS VERY CUTESY MIGHT GO FOR BUN/BUNS FOR EXAMPLE. ITS NOT ALWAYS THAT WAY THOUGH.
SORRY I GOT OFF TRACK. ANYWAYS, NOUNSELF TROLLS ARE SOMEWHAT DIFFICULT TO SPOT DUE TO IT BEING WELL. HARD TO MAKE A "PARODY" OF, REALLY. WITH NON-NOUNSELF ID JUST CHECK PRONOUNCIATIONS AND SUCH BEFORE PROCEEDING. FOR THE MOST PART THOUGH I WOULD TRY TO HANDLE YOUR FEARS AS BEST AS POSSIBLE? INSTANCES OF TROLLING LIKE THAT BLOW UP BECAUSE THEY ARE SCARY AND GENERATE CLICKS, THAT DOESNT MEAN THAT THEYRE COMMON NOR UNIVERSAL. IF IT CONTINUES TO BOTHER YOU ID SUGGEST DOING SOMETHING I LEARNED IN THERAPY CALLED A BELIEF EXPERIMENT (DOING A SMALLER, ACHIVABLE ACTION TO ATTEMPT TO PROVE OR DISPROVE WORRIED/ANXIOUS THOUGHTS. ID USUALLY DO THIS WITH A SUPPORTIVE FRIEND TO HAVE YOUR BACK OR SOMETHING OF THAT SORT)
GENERALLY IF YOU THINK YOUR FRIENDS WOULD FIND IT ODD BUT WOULD STILL BE RELITIVELY ACCEPTING ID TREAT IT LIKE A NORMAL COMING OUT OF THE CLOSET WITH A FEW EXTRA STEPS. ID USUALLY SUGGEST TELLING YOUR FRIENDS PERSONALLY BEFORE UPDATING YOUR SOCIALS, BUT THATS UP TO YOU. ID ALSO GO WITH ANY TRANS FRIENDS YOU HAVE FIRST IF THATS AN OPTION, BECAUSE USUALLY ITS EASIER TO EXPLAIN HOW YOU FEEL MORE COMFORTABLE WITH NEOS IN THAT SITUATION. IT MIGHT SUCK BUT ID SUGGEST THAT WHEN/IF THEY ARE MILDLY INSENSITIVE JUST EXPLAIN THAT IT BOTHERED YOU AND WHY, HOPEFULLY THEYLL GET IT.
TYPICALLY MY RESPONSE TO SOMEONE BEING RUDE TO ME IS NOT... IDEAL SO I DONT KNOW HOW TO ADVISE YOU ON THAT, BUT GENERALLY YOU DONT HAVE TO DEFEND THE FACT YOU EXIST IF YOURE NOT UP FOR IT. USE THE BLOCK BUTTON AS LIBERALLY AS YOU LIKE, ITS A DEFENCE IN ITS OWN RIGHT.
THATS ALL, I THINK. YOUR MESSAGES COPY-PASTED WILL BE UNDER THE CUT, FORGIVE ME IF I MISSED SOMETHING, I DO HAVE A DISORDER THAT MAKES IT SLIGHTLY DIFFICULT FOR ME TO READ. FEEL FREE TO SUBMIT ANY FURTHER QUESTIONS, COMMENTS ETC AND DO TELL ME IF I DID MISS SOMETHING YOU STILL NEED HELP WITH .
MESSAGES AS FOLLOWS, WITH SEPERATIONS REMOVED:
so i've been using neopronouns for less than a week and every day since i started, i've been getting negative reactions. the negativity comes from strangers, so it doesn't hurt me as personally as if friends were doing this (i actually haven't said anything to my friends about my neopronouns yet). anyhow, when people try to argue with me, i tell them that i don't see why they can't be respectful and call someone whatever makes them feel happy and comfortable. one reaction i got was "just because something makes someone happy doesn't make it valid" and compared it to letting someone drink poison if drinking poison is what makes them happy. then i get a lot of people who bring up stuff like "but what if the pronouns that make me feel valid contain a slur? / what if i use pizzaself? / what if i only go by BLMself pronouns? you'd be invalidating me!!!" and they try to use my own words against me since i've previously said "even if you don't understand it you should call people by what makes them feel valid." i know these people don't even use neopronouns to begin with but tbh it still does start to make me feel guilty? i'm nd and i can't always pick up social cues or sarcasm so i would feel horrible if i did unwillingly invalidate someone. but i'm also kind of paranoid because so much trolling has been going around recently like one video where someone tricked another person into using neopronouns that sounded like a slur when said out loud, recorded it, and put it online. i don't always know who is being sincere and who wants to trick people, particularly with nounself pronouns, like the pizzaself thing. finally, i wanted to go back to the topic of not telling my friends about my neopronouns yet. i feel like if i just start to put my neopronouns on profiles that my friends can view, it'll seem odd to them that i never said anything before, but i also don't know how to bring up in a personal conversation "i found out about some neopronouns i like and i've started using them" without it being awkward. i don't think my friends would make fun of me but i do think they'd find neopronouns 'weird' in general and maybe act kind of insensitive without meaning to, like not getting it. how would you react to the rude ppl? i know i could ignore them but i feel like they take that as them 'winning' or me running out of ways to defend my point of view. and how would you have your friends find out about about you wanting to use neopronouns?
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iamtheempress · 4 years
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A Vegeta x OC Fanfiction (part 4) ¤ ¤ ¤
Calamatta managed to roll out of bed and redress herself. Pulling on the suit and grabbing a spare to bring with her on her trip to To-Rot. Leaving her room she met with Nappa. "There she is!" He chugged a caffeinated hot beverage down like it was nothing, Raditz stood beside him counting his wad of cash and stuffing it in his armor. 
"Pay looks nice." She yawns and stretches making her cute tail curl and back arch abit. "37,000. Not bad but could be better. Vegeta got the most of it." Nappa nods and pushes the yawning female saiyan a mug of the hot beverage. "Thanks...gonna need it." "Damn right you are! Vegeta is still sleeping. Weird he said he was gonna get up before us.. eh whatever. Lets get your pod and stuff ready then well worry bout him." Nappa said as Calamatta shined off the mug and pushed it away.
Upon going to the pod, her coordinates were set and everything was packed into there Raditz, who was standing besides her piped up, leaning against the pod with his massive arms crossed. "Dont take this the wrong way Calamatta but… why are you so…" he moves his hands in an hour glass shape and tilts his head. Calamatta went wide eyed and fixed her suit where her ass is. 
"If thats how you flirt with women that was a strike out, good lord! And I have know idea why! Its just my body shape idiot…" she comments hearing Nappa wheeze as he fixes some wires within the pod, followed by him clanging his head leaving. "Im not! I d-dont flirt its just that… well… shes got… n-nice legs and … a great fa-" Calamatta thwipped her tail like a nervous cat. The bay door slid open and Raditz's poor excuse for flirtation was stopped DEAD in its tracks. "Stop harassing Calamatta on her body type Raditz, Saiyan women were given bodys to kill, shes built like a fine tuned weapon whether you see it or not." Vegeta points up at Raditz who scowled with a full face of blush. "Oh so you look at her too Vegeta?" Calamatta slaps her forehead and raises her voice flicking Raditz in the forehead for his really stupid comment. "Can yall stop talking about me like im not fuckin here??" She snapped annoyed and heard Nappa close up the oxygen port.
 "Ready boss?" She asked Vegeta, who nodded and got into his respective pod and punched in the coordinates manually. "Later guys!" She got in and Raditz and Nappa left the pod evac room. 
Vegeta's voice sparked to life on her scouter. "Theres a hidden base by the most recent Frieza Force there.. we should make it there in an hour so that will be our base of operation. No breaches from outside forces." She nods and for the 2nd time in her life the pod flew straight out of the mothership into the cold vacuum of space. 
She crossed her arms and watched Vegetas whiz right past her hurtling with effort and ease to the planet that only seemed to become larger.. if that wasnt already more possible.
 She marveled at it… it was amazing. It was a shame she was there for a job to do. 
It was under 50 minutes where there pods broke entry to the planets atmosphere, careening and becoming hot to the touch, cold metal heating up faster, and faster becoming scorching red hot. Then the mountain range came into view, with the ship in sight the two pods crashed right into a large cave system. 
Welding their pods into the hard rock walls to jut through with 0 damage just enough room for the pods to open on the opposite side of the mountain. Calamatta and Vegeta pushed the button to open the pod bay doors, they took one solid whif of the atmosphere and Cala sighed. "To-Rot huh.. so wheres the base ship?" Cala steps her boots onto the alien planets surface. "5 miles that way. Stay within the tree line, follow my lead." The prince cracks his neck and blasts away leaving a trail of dust and debris behind him.
 "Say no more.." she stated following close behind Vegeta. Vegetas eyes were trained ahead. Toa ship that was covered in dirt and over growth. He tapped his scouter to be sure. "Perfect.. no signs of power levels. Excellent!" He smirked, the prince and Calamatta landed outside of the ship. Vegeta punched in a code and they were both let in. "Good.. now.. lets have a look around. The recent failed mission logs should have data from their logs. Have a look around for food and whatever else when i find the log ill call for you"  Vegeta announced as the hangar door shut behind them locking followed by a robotic voice. 
'Systems Armed'
Calamatta turned on her heels and scampered to the back of the ship. Vegeta watched the eager Saiyan trot away, with a sigh and a roll of his eye he headed towards the command deck of the ship. 
Collected with dust and opened up first aid kits, Vegeta scanned the surrounding area cautiously. 3 lone scouters covered in blood sat on the front of the deck. An ominous reminder of the past couple of grunts who died here. 
He snagged the three up and turned to call for Calamatta "Found them! Get up here!"
Calamatta dropped this box of rations she found and walked quickly to the front to see him plugging in the scouters logs. An unfamiliar voice chimed to life. 
"F-Force log number 1, we have arrived at To-Rot, this area is to be our base of operation since the inhabitants cannot scale plateaus or fly. We will commence terraformation and return in a week." Vegeta clicked the 2nd video, a bead of sweat rolled down his forehead. 
"F-Force Log number 2… uhm.. Que, Roa, and Gil went missing yesterday. We have been here for 3 days now and i have seen hide nor tail of them... ill send a distress warning to the mother ship but i will go and find my crew." 
He pressed the last one and the room suddenly became much heavier. "F-Force number 3… i found my crew.. w-whats left of them…" he held up baren bones and armor. "This planets fucked up… if you know whats good for you send the Saiyans.. theyll do a better job.. i couldnt save my crew! This is Nutte signing off… i'm going to look for Roa.”
"Thats… not good.." Vegeta groaned and plugged in the next scouter, A new crew came up on the screen, a crew of ten. The crew was looking around, brows raised and sweat on their brow. “So we are the 4th crew to come to this planet alone, from what were aware these uh… the main population of this race is highly hostile and we need to utilize lethal force...Well update as we go along.” After that log there was no update, no commanders log. He stepped away and swiped a hand through his hair. “Last log…”  He clicked on it which was 7 full days ago. 
A Log List of all the times this one computer has been logged into popped up. It was far more then 4.
10 Crew lists came through. Crews of upwards of 5 being the smallest to 30 being the most. All vanished within days of arrival. All of them mentioning, to send someone stronger, someone more capable. The Saiyans, they begged for the Saiyans help and they were all sent on suicide missions back to back to back to back.
Vegeta slammed his hands down on the console making it glitch the screen. “Of course theyd call for us…dammit!” He barked and kept his back turned away from her. “So they sent them on suicide missions because… they didn’t want to send us?” She questioned, furrowing her brows trying to wrap her head around the situation. “Frieza didnt want to send me and the other two… He sent US on a suicide mission.” Vegeta turned quickly and stared daggers into Calamatta, the overwhelming feeling of concern rain heavy within her head, and sat uncomfortably in her stomach like something she shouldnt have eaten.
Vegeta crossed the room and pointed his finger right into her chest a deep growl emanating from behind his bared teeth. “He went and sent ME with YOU so we can both perish!” “Hey hey what the hell! Calm down abit, well make it out of here ill follow orders.” Vegeta’s vein popped out on his forehead, eyes narrowed furious.
 “Thats not my point. Your optimism is the closest thing we have to any cocky behavior! It doesnt surprise me why Frieza sent me to a month long mission..” She put up her hands and once again her heart sunk; she went wide eyed staring into the princes heartlessly infuriated black eyes.
Friezas words rattled in her skull ‘your life is as forfeit to me as it is Vegeta…’
“I dont get why he would send both of us to die.” He turned back around and walked to a table with a map on it. “You stood at Frieza’s side for as long as you have been able to speak, you wanted freedom from him, now you might as well see the harsh reality, he never had any good intentions for you Calamatta. He wants you dead, so much so hell send the both of us to a lethal planet to terraform on our own…” He said flatly, Calamatta remained silent her tail loosely hanging from her waist. Her dignity and pride feeling like it was oozing out of her very pores. “Now get over here and lets get an idea of the land… this moon has two moons and we have to plan accordingly.” The map is very detailed of the entirety of the planet from the red deserts to the lush green forests and then to the grayed out city scapes. All of them giant hot beds of activity, teaming with life as they knew it. 
His orders were direct and bland. Calamatta dragged her feet, depressed. Feeling less and less like a Saiyan by the moment, it wasnt so much Vegeta.. it was how quickly she was starting to realize Frieza was right, and goddamn did it grate her nerves to know that... The idea of freedom is going to be lightyears more heavier then she could imagine, shes not even close and this is what she has to deal with. Calamatta tightened her tail back up around her waist and listened to her Princes expertise plan of attack.
¤ ¤ ¤
Tags:  @memevember @dragonblobz @gonuclear @msgreenverse @fallen--lilith ​ @jimbobslurpnchug @dragonballcollector @nikabriefs @lilhemmo @supremeleadershitlord @thotful-writing ​ @chickiedinner @anti-jaina @lizardhipsdontlie @dragonball-hcs-or-sum-shit ​ @solidsock​
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marshmallow-phd · 6 years
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Charming Instruction
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Part of The Untamed - EXO Wolf Universe
Genre: Supernatural, Wolf Au
Pairing: Junmyeon x Reader
Summary: You were just an average, everyday college student desperately trying to graduate. Only one more year stood between you and that celebratory walk. However, due to an oversight by your adviser, it seemed that the one class you never wanted to take was required to take that walk. It wasn’t the subject matter that made you uncomfortable. It was the teacher. Your heart sped up every time you saw him and you didn’t want that distraction in your life, attractive or not. With meeting him now an inevitability, you swore that you would keep your hormones in check. But after your first day of class, a series of hi jinks and weird situations lead you to discovering the secret of your professor and why he seemed to bombard your every thought.
Part: 1 I 2 I 3 I 4 I 5 I 6 I 7 I 8 I 9 I 10 I 11 I 12 I 13 I Final
**
Junmyeon didn’t lead you too far into the woods. He stuck to the tree line, pulling you in close once he was leaning up against a sizable trunk that kept you somewhat hidden from the house. Hands resting on your hips, he leaned his forehead on yours and sighed deeply.
You could tell he was still stressing over the meeting. Perhaps he was expecting more concern and questioning from the pack rather than the nonchalant reception that was bestowed upon him instead. While you didn’t know the boys all that well, they all seemed to give off that carefree vibe, which was possibly be the bane of Junmyeon’s existence, if you had to guess. But that probably just came with the territory of being a leader. And being the mate of the leader, you figured it was your job to help him stop worrying.
“Just give them a little time,” you reassured him as you rubbed his arms. “Soon, they’ll take it more seriously. It’s just because the information is so vague at this time, they don’t know what to be cautious of. So, they blow it off rather than stressing about something they have no control over.”
Junmyeon pouted, squeezing your sides. “Then why am I stressing about it?”
“Well, I don’t know too much about werewolf pack dynamics….” You scrunched your face mischievously, “But I’m pretty sure it has to do with the fact that you’re the leader and it’s kind of your job to worry over every little thing.”
“I do not worry about every little thing,” he protested.
This was coming from the same person who didn’t tell you the truth about the connection between the two of you because he was overthinking on whether or not you would hightail it out of here and leave him in the dust. Granted, you didn’t give him much hope for any other outcome, but still.
You held your thumb and index finger up, leaving a minuscule amount of space in between. “You do. Just a little bit.”
Junmyeon opened his mouth to argue, but then closed it, sighing heavily. “Okay. Maybe a little. But someone has to worry about these things or else we’ll all be doomed.”
“Well, then I guess it’s a good thing that you’re the leader instead of one of the others.”
He let out a short laugh. “Well, me and Kris. And it was nice that he-”
A little over the current discussion, you simply pressed your lips against Junmyeon’s for a quick kiss to stop his talking. Well, it was supposed to be a quick kiss.
Catching the back of your neck with his hand before you could pull away, Junmyeon deepened the display of affection, taking full advantage of the isolation. Under your palms that were resting on his chest, you could feel his content purr vibrating both you and him. The sensation made you giggle. Junmyeon broke off the kiss at the sound.
“What’s so funny?” he murmured, frowning at you.
“You’re like a cat,” you chuckled. Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say.
Junmyeon scoffed, the corners of his mouth turning up in astonishment. His eyes turned back to you, “Do you realize how insulting that is?”
“Um, sorry?” you snorted. He did not find it as funny. “It’s not my fault! You were purring!”
“I was happy! I can’t control it!” he whined.
You rolled your eyes. “I was just saying that it was cute!”
“Hardly the word I want to hear in the middle of kissing you,” he grumbled.
Stepping back, you crossed your arms, just staring at him. He kept pouting, just making him even cuter.
It was ridiculous. The big alpha wolf wanted to be seen as anything but cute. But he made it hard with that fluffy brown hair, puckered lips, and big, round brown eyes gazing at you. You almost wanted to snap a picture of it, but that didn’t feel appropriate in the moment. Honestly, it felt silly, him taking offense to that four letter word, but it wasn’t worth starting an argument.
You threw your hands up. “Okay. Fine. I won’t call you cute anymore. Never again. I will purge that word from my vocabulary unless I’m talking about a puppy or small child.”
Junmyeon’s eyebrows shot up to nearly his hairline. “I didn’t say that.”
Narrowing your eyes and smirking, you teased, “So, you do want me to call you cute?”
He shrugged, hands in his pockets. “I wouldn’t mind it under certain circumstances. Just not when I’m kissing you. Because that makes me want to show you exactly how not ‘cute’ I can be.”
Now that kind of had you taken back. “Are you sure you’re a college professor? Because you are acting a bit more more like a college boy right now.”
With a predatory gleam in those russet eyes, Junmyeon stalked towards you. Instinctively, you stumbled back until your back hit a tree, the curved edges of the bark piercing your shoulder blades.
Your breath quicken and you couldn’t stop the audible gulp in your throat from how much like a wolf he being. That reaction seemed to just egg Junmyeon on. He didn’t stop until the space between you was completely gone, a hand on each side of your hip to keep you in place. His lips were right against your ear as he whispered, “I’m only a professor on campus.”
Oh, that’s not good.
Junmyeon nibbled at your ear before moving down to your neck. You giggled anxiously. He’d never gone this far before. What really made you nervous was the fact that you didn’t want to stop.
“Junmyeon! Junmyeon, are you out here?!”
Junmyeon growled, slamming a fist into the bark above your head. “Oh, for crying out loud.”
You snorted, covering your mouth when Junmyeon shot you a look.
Chanyeol and Jongin came running through the trees. You straightened up, hoping that there was no evidence of what you and Junmyeon were doing left on your face.
“What is it?” Junmyeon asked grumpily. You could tell he was trying to remain calm and not be irritated at the boys in case it was a real emergency.
“Sorry to barge in,” Jongin actually looked really guilty, which made you want this whole thing end even quicker, “but no one can find Tao. Did he run past here?”
Junmyeon shook his head. “No, we haven’t. Why?”
“No one can find him,” Chanyeol explained. “He stormed off after the meeting. He seemed really pissed.”
“That’s not good.” Junmyeon ran a hand through his hair before glancing at you. Turning back to the other wolves, he asked, “Did you see what direction he took off in?”
“He went out the front door,” Jongin replied.  
“So, you think he went into town?” Junmyeon guessed.
Chanyeol shrugged. “Maybe? And you know Tao when he’s mad. He doesn’t really have the best control.”
“Alright.”
You could see how reluctant Junmyeon was to be the leader, to go after his wayward member, but it was an instinct that he couldn’t ignore.
“I guess I’ll go track him down,” Junmyeon sighed.
“I need to go back into town anyway,” you inserted. Maybe if you were the one to take him, he’d be less pouty about it.
“Luhan wants to go with you,” Chanyeol added. “Said if anything, he can drag Tao to the empty bar while he does opening work.”
Junmyeon nodded. “Okay, then. Let’s go.”
The four of you headed inside, grabbing Luhan before splitting off and going back outside to your car.
It wasn’t a very chatty car ride. Luhan stayed quiet in the back seat while Junmyeon held your hand from the passenger’s seat. He made random comments about the area’s history or how the road needed repaving every once in a while.
Apparently, Tao preferred to hang out downtown, so that’s where you dropped the two wolves off. You told Junmyeon that he could find you at the museum once he was done. When he questioned why you would go there, you simply shrugged and said to kill time.
That wasn’t entirely a lie. You really did like to spend free time at the museum, wandering around and trying to find new pieces to memorize.
But today you had a little mission.
Even though Junmyeon said he’d already gone through the little book of his family’s history, you thought that maybe a fresh pair of eyes could pick up some new clues.
Mrs. Kang wasn’t surprised to see you at all when she saw you in the main lobby. Junmyeon had told you earlier in the week that he had you added to the very limited list of people with access to the back room. Mrs. Kang handed you a key card with no hesitation and left you to go on your merry way. Getting a pair of cotton gloves from the supply closet, you buckled yourself down at the table in Junmyeon’s secret room after carefully taking out the book from its resting place.
You flipped through the pages slowly, gliding your eyes over the heavily faded words. Some paragraphs were almost completely illegible from the old ink wearing away with age. One particularly worn page caught your eye about halfway through the book. The edges were particularly feathered and torn, giving you the impression that this page’s contents were immensely important in the past. Almost all the writing was gone on the pages, but certain words you were able to make out.
Enemies.
Beware.
Hunted.
Future encounters.
Bingo.
At the very bottom of the page, underneath the missing information was a familiar looking symbol still present enough to make out. It was a circle overlapping three points. That could be the clue you were looking for in order to keep the pack - Junmyeon’s family - safe. But where did you take it from here?
Junmyeon came to the museum about forty-five minutes later, finding you in the “caveman” section, as Cam liked to describe it.
“Finding anything new and interesting?” he teased as he came up behind you, encircling his arms around your waist.
You shrugged lazily. “Perhaps. Did you find Tao?”
Junmyeon scoffed. “Yeah, he’s been found. But he’d ran off in the forest, not to town. Apparently, he just ran in a different direction than where we were.”
“Poor leader.” You turned around in his arms, linking your own around his neck. “It’s so hard being you.”
That just made him roll his eyes. “You’re so mean to me.”
You motioned to exit with your head. “Come on. Since I’m so mean, dinner’s on me.”
Junmyeon made his impressed face, the kind he made when a student in class gave him an answer he wasn’t expecting. “I like that idea. And I think I know just the place.”
**
Triquetragirl49: I’m glad that the new article helped!
Archaeology4life: It was a great read! Thank you!
Triquetragirl49: How’s the paper coming?
Archaeology4life: Not too bad! Teacher’s a hardass, though. Lol
Triquetragirl49: Well, hopefully he’ll at least enjoy your paper on irish werewolves.
Archaeology4life: Fingers crossed! If I don’t get an A, I might have to complain to the dean. Jk
Triquetragirl49: Remind me again why you were focusing on that subject?
Archaeology4life: I just came across something about werewolves and a connection to the triquetra in some research. I was surprised that they were both related to protection.
Triquetragirl49: Kind of related. Werewolves were still considered dangerous and best for everyone to stay away from them.
Triquetragirl49: At least, according to the legends, that is. Considering they’re not real!
Archaeology4life: I’m sure if wolves were real, they wouldn’t be dangerous.
Triquetragirl49: You never know. There’s a lot of scary stories out there lol.
Archaeology4life: Yeah… you’re right lol
Archaeology4life: Thank you again!
Triquetragirl49: Of course! Just let me know if you want to know anything else! I’ve enjoyed talking to you!
Archaeology4life: Same!
“What are you smiling at?”
You slammed the screen of your laptop shut just as Junmyeon slid into the empty space across from you in the breakfast booth. Since he had a department meeting this evening, you’d beaten him to the farmhouse and decided to kill some time by getting back in touch with your new internet friend.
Finding triquetagirl49 in a folklore chat room on a history website had been pure luck and she’d giving you so much information on how that old celtic symbol could be related to werewolves. It seemed more like a good thing, representing protection for both humans and wolves alike. You weren’t sure when you should share this information with Junmyeon or exactly how to present it, so you decided for now to just keep it to yourself for the time being.
“Funny article on The Mummy trilogy,” you lied smoothly.
He shook his head, laughing to himself. “You and those movies. Don’t you have them memorized by now?”
“Maybe,” you pouted. “We can watch something else, though, if you want. Or do something else. We don’t have to watch a movie.”
Junmyeon held out two hands, moving them up and down like a pair of scales. “Let’s see… hold my mate close on my bed while we watch her favorite movie or do something else that involves less intimate time and possibly run into someone else in the pack.” He gave you a pointed look. “I think movie wins.”
You beamed. “Good!” Hopping up, you started for the staircase. “Let’s go!”
Junmyeon laughed as he followed you up to his bedroom. By luck, a majority of the wolves were out and about with their mates on this beautiful friday night. Since you and your wolf still had to be careful about who saw you together, it was a night in for the pair of you. But you didn’t mind. In fact, you had been looking forward to it all week.
Jumping on the bed, you pushed yourself all the way up to the headboard while Junmyeon turned on the TV and readied the movie before heading into the bathroom. While you waited on him, you fluffed up the pillows to make yourself more comfortable.
When he emerged from the bathroom, you tried to keep your focus on the bright screen. Junmyeon had decided that it was completely appropriate to come out in just a pair of sweatpants. Just sweatpants. No shirt.
He was such a tease.
You made no protest as he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you in close to him. Leaning your head on his chest, you watched the movie for a good fifteen minutes or so until the scene with Rachel Weisz in the museum, knocking over the bookshelves and creating that cringe-worthy disaster came on the screen.
That’s when Junmyeon got a little restless.
At first, he was just playing with your fingers and planting kisses on your shoulder. Then he moved his lips up to your neck, tickling the sensitive skin. Out of reflex, you flinched into the kiss, closing off access from Junmyeon.
“It’s cute that you know every word,” he whispered. It was obvious that he cared nothing for the movie and he was just trying to distract you and maybe even give him all your attention instead.
Taking the bait, you turned to tell him to be quiet. Before one word could escape your lips, he’d captured them in his own. You never saw another minute of the movie, too preoccupied to pay it any mind.
Oh, well. There was always next time and your wolf needed your special attention.
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thebibliosphere · 6 years
Text
heelsandswords replied to your post “It’s…it’s an experience, when you go get extensive body work done (I...”
@thebibliosphere sometime when you have the chance, could you explain what muscle adhesions means?
@heelsandswords​ it's somewhere in my health tag I think (who knows, tumblr deleted a lot of them) but a muscle adhesion, as it has been described to me by my health care providers, is like fibrous scar where the damaged muscle tissue has sort of stuck together, which decreases the muscle function, and weakens its ability to contract and move like it ought, which decreases movement, circulation etc etc which hinders the ability for it to heal properly.
You can google what they look like if you’re not squeamish about medical diagrams, though I know some people are so I wont insert any here.
They form naturally as a result of injury and some surgeries too, as a means of preventing further injury to the area while it heals, but for some of us, our bodies go wrong and they can form on healthy tissue as well.
So in the context of my own body, I don’t just have sore knots like you might get from working out a little too hard or waking up at a bad angle that most people can stretch out or heal from with rest, (though those are certainly painful too, and can turn into an adhesion if you don’t remedy the thing injuring you, so don’t ignore those folks!) but rather that due to an inflammation response my body decided all the tissue was damaged and tried to help me by forming protective scar tissue which uh, sort of… fused my muscles together I guess.
It made exercise and the “life style changes” suggested to me by doctors virtually impossible, and actually damaging to my health, as every time I tried to exercise I’d just rip the scar tissue and the muscle underneath, which would cause more inflammation, which in turn would cause more scar tissue to form and round and round we go. I only started to get real relief when Physio Man realized what was happening and put a halt to my physical therapy in favor of working on breaking up the scar tissue through manual manipulation (he does a mixture of deep tissue massage, acupressure, shiatsu, mysofascial release and probably a bunch of other things I’m not aware of, to try and help manage my pain. And he’ll vary techniques throughout the session in response to what he finds in my body while working. It’s been life changing in terms of reducing my pain.) so that the scar tissue could be gently worked away to let the healthy tissue form and be kept in good condition without immediately being subjected to strenuous exercise they weren’t strong enough for. We did six weeks of this until he deemed it safe enough to try working on stretches again without risk of causing me further injury, and when an area proved to not respond well to the physical therapy, we’d switch it up again.
At present my neck is still in the process of “splinting” itself following the neck injury I sustained in November, and I’m profoundly aware of the muscle adhesions that have formed there while the soft tissue heals. I can feel them pulling all the other muscles and making things hurt that haven’t hurt in a while, and while it feels counter intuitive to leave them there, they are a necessary part of the healing procedure for now, and we’re not going out of our way to remove them just yet. (If any of you are in a similar situation, I’ve found heat treatment helps a lot) In another 4-6 weeks I will hopefully be well enough to start doing physical therapy again and continue my progress, but in the meantime, I’ll settle for pain reduction and call it a win lol.
So if you always have a muscle knot you can never seem to get rid of, chances are it might have formed into a minor adhesion that could do with a little care to get rid of. A competent massage therapist can help greatly with this, and it doesn’t even have to be intensive. Just a little bit of self care before things get out of hand can go a long way, and not ignoring persistent pain when it starts is a big part of that. Also if your doctor prescribes exercise, start slow. A lot of people jump in thinking if they punish the muscles they’ll work faster, which is uh, not really the case, even for able bodied people. They’re just fortunate enough to be able to heal more quickly from their injuries.
I hope that explained it well? I’m afraid I only know how to explain it in context of what it means to have them, not like, the actual know how or science behind it.
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feminarrie · 6 years
Note
Niall, a bottle of whiskey, and a drill. use that and write what you will. I want to see what you come up with!! (also you can take your time with this)
kate! once again, thank you for challenging me with this! it was fun to figure out just how i wanted to go about this, but i’m happy with what i’ve come up with!
i’m putting it below a cut bc it’s just 3k+ of smut (it is also unedited sorry!)
As she looks out at Niall, Y/N can’t help but think how utterly domestic the scene is.
It’s midsummer and the California heat was approaching a dry 100 degrees. She had ditched her shirt in favor of a bikini top and a pair of light wash shorts atop her bottoms. She’d even spent the better half of the morning in the pool with Niall. But, as it neared one in the afternoon and the peak temperature of the day, she had gone back inside to cool down and to prepare lunch for the both of them. While Niall had slipped out of the pool and wandered to the patio, where a new patio set is still sat in pieces.
She looks outside at him now, through the kitchen window, as she washes and peels a carrot. His back glistens with sweat as he attempts to line up a metal pole with another piece of the bar that they had bought just a few days ago. They’d offered to assemble it upon delivery, but Niall had insisted that he would be able to put it together. She hadn’t argued it, either. Especially considering that they were on their way out for a scheduled date night.
She’s glad Niall had decided to put the furniture together. Especially when she see the way his broad back tenses when he moves this way or that. Droplets of sweat drip down it and highlight every movement.
The way his arms look now, as he uses a drill to join to pieces together, surpass sinful. With every movement, his biceps flex and Y/N can’t help, but think about how they feel when he’s fucking up into her. Like they had this morning, in the comfort of their air conditioned bedroom. When her back was pressed to his chest and the backs of her thighs and ass bounced in his lap. His arm had wrapped around her middle while his other hand was wound around her throat. Hitting her at angles that she didn’t think were possible.
There’s a different heat that’s building, now. An internal heat that still has sweat developing on the back of her neck and at her hairline despite the heavily air conditioned kitchen. It settles into the apples of her cheeks as continues to prepare their lunch. 
Which, it really is a miracle that she’s capable of finishing all the preparation and plating it by the time Niall walks in. She’s even managed to grab the bottle of whiskey from the top of the fridge without asking Niall to retrieve it for her. She pours it over the ice in a short glass, watching as it melts the cubes just slightly. She hopes he’ll like all of it, too. Niall is usually one to drink beer or water in this kind of heat, but she figures that a small glass of whiskey is a treat for all the hard work he’s doing. Plus, it forces him to slow down enough to enjoy the liquor and cool off for awhile. 
Y/N can see the sunburn that has begun its assault on his shoulders. The already tan skin has turned a shade of pink that holds a future of promise of blossoming into a shade of red if he’s outside for any longer. “Whatever you’ve made smells delicious, love.” Niall hums, pushing his sunglasses to the top of his head as rounds the corner of the island.
“Thank you.” She grins, leaning upward to receive the peck that Niall has stopped to give her. “Go clean up and I’ll have the table all set when you come back.”
Niall nods and leaves after another peck to her lips.
Y/N busies herself with setting up the table. She places a smaller bowl of salad between two plates of greek wraps. It’s nothing too fancy, but she hardly thinks that Niall is keen on having a hot meal after he’s come inside. Even if he was, she absolutely did not want to be overheating while cooking up a warm meal for him. So, she figures it is more likely a win/win situation for the both of them. Niall returns shortly after she’s set herself down to eat. He’s in a pair of deep blue gym shorts and nothing on top. As he comes to sit down next to her, she can see the freckles that have begun to develop along the expanse of his shoulder and back. Unlike his sunburn, they will likely fade within the next few days. 
“Thanks for lunch, Y/N.” Niall says before his eyes land on the chilled glass of whiskey. “And for this. How’d ya know I was cravin’ something stronger?”
“Figured you would after being outside for most of the day.” Y/N shrugs as she answers. Their conversation dies down after that, both of them being too busy with eating to speak. Especially Niall, who goes back in for a second helping of salad. And Y/N lets him because she knows he’s probably built up an appetite.
“I’ve just got to put a few more pieces together and then I’ll be done.” Niall says after Y/N asks him how much longer he’ll be.
“We’ll stay inside after that then, yeah?” She suggests, hopeful that Niall will want to stay in for the remainder of the evening. “I’ll order takeout for us, if you’d like.”
Niall nods, drying off his hands after having finished washing his dish. Y/N lets the rest sit in the sink for now, her mind having drifted to the idea of having a cool shower while Niall finishes up outside.
He kisses her once more on the cheek before stepping out into the yard once again. Y/N paces herself in heading upstairs into the master bathroom. Grabbing her phone from the coffee table so that she can listen to music while she’s showering. She’s even more eager because she’s got a killer playlist that she’d been adding to for the past few weeks.
But, she’s also got other things on her mind as she makes her way upstairs after turning the temperature down just a little bit more. 
The images of Niall were shoved aside as they ate. She was starving and in that moment, her appetite had far outweighed her desire for Niall. But, now that she had a clearer head and a shower awaiting her, she couldn’t help but to conjure up those images again. 
She’s sure he would be too tired to do much of anything anyway. So, she sees no harm in getting herself off while he put the final touches on their patio furniture. Especially seeing as she doesn’t know how long he will be and Y/N has never been one to be patient about these types of things. 
Before long, she’s come to stand in their shared master bathroom. The heated floors don’t feel quite so warm beneath her feet, but she is still aware of the heat that they exude. Their toothbrushes occupy one marbled cup set between two sinks and white, plush hand towel hangs just slightly over the edge of the dark countertop. Two more navy blue towels hang over separate bars that sit next to the shower. There’s still droplets of condensation against the glass, likely from Niall’s shower earlier that morning. 
Y/N strips after she’s turned the shower on and found a happy medium between too warm and too cold. She kicks her shorts and bottoms to the corner of the room, closer to the laundry basket. Her top is flung in the same direction moments later. All the while, the sounds of her playlist bounce off the walls of the spacious bathroom. 
A soft sigh leaves her lips when the water hits her front. It’s enough of a temperature difference that her nipples pearl and to give her some relief from the high temperatures outside. Her sun kissed skin drinks the moisture as she allows it to wash over her for a prolonged period of time before she turns around. 
She reaches for the bottle of cherry blossom and citrus scented soap that lives on the middle left shelf of the tiled shower. Her other hand reaches for her own loofa that hangs from the shower handle. Once she’s put more than enough of the soap on it, it’s only a matter of seconds before it has begun to lather. Y/N hums along to Postpone by Catfish and the Bottlemen and she nods her head along with the beat. And she’s fully enraptured by the song until she’s reached between her thighs, the soap leaving a soapy lather that drips down her thighs as the water drips down from her back. Where she simply can’t help herself from switching the loofa from her dominant hand to the other.
The pads of her fingers dance over her already slick folds, gliding with ease as she teases herself. She reaches down to slide her middle finger from her entrance to her clit, letting it stay there and adding just a slight amount of pressure. Enough to heighten the stirring in her tummy, but that’s it. She teases herself for awhile. Eventually letting the loofa fall to the floor so that her other hand is free to roam her body. It eventually settles at the base of her throat and she applies just a slight amount of pressure. Her small hands aren’t as good as Niall’s, but they’ll do in the moment. Especially when she’s pushed two fingers inside herself after the images of Niall and her own teasing had become too much to bear.
Y/N is chasing her orgasm when Niall enters the bathroom after having called out for her just a few minutes before. He doesn’t need to see her form to know that either. Instead, her whimpers and occasional pants of his name can be heard loud and clear with the acoustics of the space. When he does look at her, though, it has his cock hardening in his shorts. Enough so that if she looked now, she could see the outline of it with only so much as a glance. But, she doesn’t. Her eyes are squeezed shut as one hand drops to cup her breast, a sure sign that she is close to the edge. Niall watches her as she continues to chase it, too. Her shoulders slouching forward slightly and his name like a mantra as it falls from her lips. She falls apart right before his eyes, unraveling at the seams as she cums. A final yelp of his name as her body quakes with her orgasm and her head lulls backward.
He allows her a moment to recoup and steady herself before he clears his throat. It still makes her jump, though. Which, Niall knew it would but it still pulls a strained chuckle from him.
“Fuck,” she mumbles, “You scared the shit out of me.”
It’s muffled by the sound of the shower and music, but Niall can still (just barely) make out what she is saying. “Sorry, love.” He replies, genuinely sorry that he had scared her so much.
Y/N takes in his half naked form from where she stands. Even with steam rising from the shower and blurring her vision slightly, she can see the outline of his cock. It only serves to make her even wetter. Something that she didn’t think was possible considering she can feel herself dripping down her thigh before it’s washed away by the water. “Got off thinking of you.” Y/N begins and she hopes Niall had been in the room to see what an absolute mess she was at the mere thought of him. A groan sounds from deep within Niall’s chest. Because even after all this time, the idea of her getting off to the thought of him was a nice ego boost. Plus, that thought alone was enough to have him muffling his own cries as he cums in the bunk of his tour bus when he’s been away from her for too long. Again, Y/N has hardly ever been good at being patient. So, when Niall is taking too long and absentmindedly palming at himself, she lets out a huff. She’d like to get her mouth around him, if he’d let her. Swallow all that he had to offer before they toweled off and settled in for the night. (Although, Y/N wouldn’t be opposed to another round once they’ve received their takeout). “Niall,” she whines, a pout setting on her lower lip.
“What is it that you want, love?” Niall raises a brow, his hand stroking across the length of himself as he looks at her.
And normally, Y/N is all about niceties. Even when Niall is nipping and sucking at her clit with three fingers buried inside her. Bringing her closer and closer to her climax, but not allowing her to cum just yet. When she’s frustrated to the point of tears because he could be so cruel and dominating when he wanted to be. She still repeats a series of thank you’s as she comes down from her orgasm. Too blissed and utterly fucked out to form any other words. “For you to let me suck you off.”
The statement is so simple and abrupt that it surprises Niall. His eyebrows shoot toward his hairline and he’s becoming almost painfully hard now. After that, he is quick to peel his only item of clothing off and step into the shower. The water alone could have him close to his own orgasm because it feels so damn good against his sunburnt skin. He can feel the heat radiate from his shoulders as he steps closer to Y/N, effectively putting them both beneath the large shower head.
Y/N glances up at him before trailing her eyes down to where the head of Niall’s cock is tinged pink and a light shade of purple. She bites her lip at the sight of him, eager to get her hands and mouth on him. So, she tears her eyes away to lock her gaze with him once again. He’s smirking at her when she does and takes a step closer until she can feel him pressing into her tummy. She isn’t sure if it’s the precum that has dribbled out of the slightly exposed tip or the moisture that has trapezed down both of their bodies to join together. It only takes a moment after that, that she is lowering herself to the ground. The tiles feel cool and hard against her knees, but she doesn’t mind. Not when she is eye level to Niall’s cock. From here, she can see the vein that travels up the side of it and just how much precum as bubbled up at the head. She looks up at Niall with a question and desperate look in her eyes. The doe-eyed expression makes her look too innocent to be doing such a thing, but it only excites Niall more. Especially knowing that she is more than capable of taking him in until he’s bottoming out and she’s gagging around him. “Go ahead.” Niall nods alongside his affirmation.
Y/N relinquishes her lip from the space between her teeth before parting them. He notices that it is plump and slick before it’s gone from his vision as she wraps her lips around him. His head falls back and his jaw slackens as she swirls her tongue over the tip before taking more of him into her mouth. Her small hand makes up for what her mouth can’t currently cover. And between her mouth on him and how her hand glides so easily across him, Niall can’t help but to let out a long fuck.
His eyes have fallen shut, so Y/N takes it as an opportunity to peek up at him from behind her lashes. And she’s glad she does because Niall looks like an absolute dream above her. Chocolate brown hair matted to his forehead, lashes just barely touching the apples of his cheeks, and body glistening with the water that is running down his body. She keeps watching him as she pulls off of him with a wet pop, allowing herself a moment to breathe. Her hand continues to pump up and down his length, twisting her wrist at the tip like she know he likes. He has one fist clenched at his side while his other hand is pressed to the wall beside her. His tongue darts out to lick over his lower lip and his chest has started to rise and fall with his quickening breaths.
With slight reluctance, she tears her gaze away from him. But, the feeling doesn’t stick once her lips are around him and she can feel the heavy weight of him on her tongue. Her hand holds him at the base, this time, as she slowly begins to build up a rhythm. She allows herself time to enjoy the taste of Niall on her tongue. It’s heady and salty, a familiar and somewhat pleasant taste to her. She alternates between self indulgent licks when she needs a moment to breathe and taking all of him until the tip of him touches the spongey back of her throat.
And it’s not long until Niall is ready to cum. The hand at his side is clenching and unclenching as if searching for purchase. Y/N notices it after Niall’s bucking his hips forward slightly, although he’s trying to control himself. And she knows he is teetering off the edge and into oblivion. So, she wraps her fingers around his wrist and brings it to the back of her head before placing them on his hips. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” Niall repeats, each reiteration gaining volume. “I’m gonna cum, Y/N. I’m gonna cum.”
Y/N tightens her grip on his hips, keeping him in place as she takes him as deep as she can go. And that’s all Niall needed before he’s painting the back of her throat with his cum. Y/N swallows all of it with ease and pulls off of him. Though, she’s sure to run her tongue along his slit to collect any remaining cum before she glances up at Niall. Who, like her this morning, looks entirely fucked out. And she prides herself with being the reason that he looks as fucked out as he does. It’s from her position on the floor, as she drinks in his form, that she decides Niall doesn’t just look like an absolute dream. Because a dream isn’t accurate enough to describe the vision above her. She thinks fantasy might be a better way to describe him, but she can’t be sure. Because nothing seems accurate enough.
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p-st · 5 years
Text
my "unkillable" quirk oc's hero name (villain? just for fun civillian name?) would absolutely be "Casualty"
a lil joke based on their casual view on death and well. death
dunno if theyd be a hero, villain, or civillian! theyre all pretty fun to explore. a vigilante would also be cool but i dont think theyd be a super morally upstanding one. definitely theyd kill a villain to restrain them bc "theyre totally fine! yeah, they're definitely dead, officer, but theyll walk it off in a few hours so it's no big!"
okay actually..thatd be a fun universe 🤔
hold on lemme just. type out loud here
Casualty: The Undying Hero! (or is it the other way around? idk how hero titles work) their wounds heal faster than most and if they “rejuvenate” you (crowdsourced name), one quick nap later you'll be good as new! (bc they also heal faster when out though not as fast as them) they will only "rejuvenate" people who have given their full consent or there is no other option (heros they work with sign contracts that give the okay and for what circumstances)(civillians give spoken consent and can request a full contract at their agency if theyre frequent fliers)
casualty decides case by case what the best course of action would be because, unfortunately, they do come across several suicidal heros and civillians alike that just want to know what its like to die. they have several connections with mental health professionals!
like eraserhead, casualty's quirk doesnt give way to much combat ability (pretty good for defense tho is still hesitant to kill someone. villain or not. some ppl can get addicted to the feeling) they compensate during fights with support tools! this isnt something ive thought about so idk what kind of fighting style theyd gear themselves towards but i think id like something pretty versatile.
also kinda looking for the secret to their death since yeah their own body can kill them but they dont really get sick and, while not immortal, they'll likely outlive everyone of their generation
Casualty: The Killer Villain! (do villains even have titles like this lol?) just THINK of the way torture would go! they can drive right up that edge and when they push a little harder and you come out the otherside unscathed you still arent safe bc youre under their whim! not a big bad with huge showy villainous actions but arguably much worse than those who make headlines.
more of an information broker! theyre the one u go to if u wanna make someone break. also takes "assassination" jobs (the PERFECT person to help you fake your death. deals identities like cards) not much in the way of morals and will give you a quick death fix but mostly to get you off their back (thinks ppl who wanna die are pretty disgusting and they revel entirely in their longlasting life. slow and steady, babey) has people contracted to kill others for them.
definitely looking for someone able to kill them. it's a big daring exciting joke to them! fellow villains will make attempts and theyll critique their effort later. also they make a very good partner for ppl trying to test out how much a new move would hurt (other villains come to these spars and time how long casualty stays down. theres a leader board for the longest time down bc it means their move was incredibly violent)
Casualty: A Name as Feared as it is Revered! (okay this one is just for fun) being able to kill but it not sticking is PERFECT for them in their mind. in this universe they couldnt think of another path being better for them (because of their black and white view of “heros save” and “villains kill” and that their quirk fits neither. not really)
theyve got a hit on them from everyone and it makes their days exciting! they compliment the more creative attempts and will drop by the place of person who killed them and leave a sticky note with a full review lol. as mentioned above, kills as a way to restrain! it's to the point where it's so common that whenever it's mentioned that they were involved w a crime a special crew comes to take care of it (you gotta be trained to compartmentalize seeing so many dead ppl that wake up kicking. it does smthn to ya)
theyll target everyone alike! heros, villains, civillians! it doesn't matter youre all ripe for the pickin! theyve got ins with a wide range of ppl and if they cant deal with them personally theyll follow what they see as the best course of action. some people deserve to be publically demolished by a hero, some deserve the horror of a villain, and some deserve the cold hand of civillian law. theyve got a little (major) god complex and believe they have the right to be the judge jury and executioner (in spirit lol) obviously this mindset isnt well received by the public (coughstainchough) but unfortunately they make good judgement calls and they usually dont get the final say in what happens to someone anyway (unless they kill the person and that person learns their lesson or whatever)
does however have a personal vendetta of reforming systems and being very against the pissing contest that are hero rankings. this occasionally makes their judgement calls biased.
the most consistent things would be:
connections. lots of them and the types of connections depend on what path theyre on. theyre good at talking
outside support in the form of weapons or people to "finish the job"
general belief that their choice is more than likely the right choice
loose morals. comes with the territory of a death based quirk
controversial in any universe (except maybe a bonus one where they claim their quirk is not being able to die and not also not being able to kill? that universe would be steeped in self hate and either a bitter death or a life dedicated to putting a mental health support system in place for people with "villainous" quirks)(actually their quirk would still be controversial bc thats the point lol)
permanent casual view on death. doesnt see the big deal
very hm. unconnected to living? sure theyre just excited to be here! but they have the most solid grasp on the inevitability of death while also not super getting that when someone dies they get to stay dead? theres also the tiniest bit of envy there
probably either never got the death talk or got it very late. no one knows how many kids were at risk while being friends with them while young bc they wouldnt put the effort into saving them from life threatening situations (bc casualty always got back up, why wouldnt anyone else)
(bonus story for above would be that once while they were a kid a friend fell off a tree and hit the ground in front of them and they just walked away to keep playing then they came back later and the friend was still there so they went to either their own parent or the kid's parents and told them "[name] is taking a long time to get back up, i wanna play again." queue the sad ending here im aiming for)
upbeat sometimes in a near manic way. genuinely happy really often and finds joy in the smallest things like a slug in the grass or a wildflower coming out of the sidewalk (life in all kinds of places in all kinds of ways!)(theyre big fans of mushrooms. in death theres life or life gives way to life or whatever. idk it's fake deep. i just think mushrooms are cool and wanna project)
anyway this is like. long as shit lol! is anyone even reading this? i love you if you are. i might try to take this character and bend it to fit some of my own worlds bc wow i think theyre cool BUT if any bnha fans ARE reading this please feel free to include them in fics or stuff if you want! link me if you do id literally fall in love (u can name them what u want, dress them how you want, give them whatever pronouns you want, etc.)(dont claim them ofc but using them is fine!)
(and if you want me to idk... flesh out a character for you? 😳 lol id be very open to that! i love worldbuilding!! you dont have to.. aha... unless..?😳😳)
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