#i dont know if I actually answered your ask

[sparklyskies0]

crawling back to you, c.s

( in which ) Despite the love chris has for you, he’s perfectly fine with not taking action and making you his to end both of your suffering.

disclaimers: mutual pining, smut (unprotected p in v), kissing, miscommunication, slow burn, NOT EDITED! :)) 2,256 words

You swear you can feel him before you even see him. It's like your body recognizes his presence before your brain does─before your eyes lock onto his across the room.

Chris is leaning against the wall, head tipped back, the silver chain around his neck catching the dim glow of the LED lights. His hoodie is slipping off his shoulder slightly. He looks good─too good.

And you hate it, it's killing you.

You hate the way your stomach clenches when he exhales a slow drag from the joint between his fingers. Hate the way he only half-smiles when his eyes land on you, like he's been waiting, like he already knew you'd show up.

You shouldn't be here.

But you are.

And he's looking at you like that.

The party is loud, voices blending with bass-heavy music, but it all feels muted, like the world has shrunk to the space between you and him. You take a sip from your drink, something cold and sharp that does nothing to steady your nerves, and when you look up again, he's already moving.

Chris doesn't touch you when he stops beside you, but he's close enough that you can feel the warmth radiating off of him.

"You came," he murmurs, voice low, just for you.

You dont know what to say to that, so you shrug.

"so did you."

Chris huffs out something that might've been a laugh if it didn't sound so bitter.

"I always do."

It's the truth, and its sit heavy in your chest. Chris is always there─always lingering just outside of reach, close enough to make you feel like you could have him if you really wanted, but far enough that you know better than to try.

You don't ask why he never says anything. You don't ask why he lets you have him in every way except the one that matters. You already know the answer.

Because he's too scared of what happens if he actually asks the question neither of you are brave enough to say out loud.

Do i wanna know?

"wanna get out of here?" he asks instead.

And you do. You always do

His apartment is quiet when you get there, the only sound is the low hum of the city outside. You shouldn't be here either. But here you are, following him inside, watching as he shrugs off his hoodie, runs a hand through his hair like he's trying to shake off whatever this is.

Like he doesn't know it never goes away.

But you want this, you want him and you've made that abundantly clear. He has too, in his own way. But yet again, you don't ask questions of why you can get close but never close enough.

You swallow hard, your throat dry despite the drinks, despite the haze of everything unspoken between you.

Chris watches you, jaw tight, fingers twitching at his side. Like he wants to touch you. Like he wants to do something about it.

But he wont.

You step closer, heart hammering, and press your palms to his chest, feeling the warmth of his skin through his shirt. His breath catches, but he doesn't move, doesn't push you away.

"You gonna keep pretending this isnt real?' you ask, voice barely above a whisper.

Chris swallows hard, his hands ghosting over your hips, like hes debating whether to grab you, whether to pull you in or let you go.

"You already know the answer," he murmurs.

His lips are so close, a breath away, and when he finally, finally presses his mouth to yours, it's not sweet, not gentle─its desperate. Like he's been holding back for too long. Like he's giving in just this once, even though you both know it won't fix anything.

His hand slips under your shirt, fingertips burning against your skin, you arch into him, gasping when he nips at your bottom lip. Its messy, its reckless, its everything you both pretend you don't want.

But you do.

You always do.

And it's never enough.

Chris kisses you like he's trying to memorize the way you taste. Like if he kisses you hard enough, long enough, he'll finally stop wanting you the way he does.

(It won't work. it never does.)

His hands slip beneath your shirt, fingers skating over your ribs, warm and familiar. He knows your body like a map, but only in stolen moments like this─only when the weight of not having you becomes unbearable.

You press closer, chest to chest, tilting your head to deepen the kiss, but chris is the one who slows it down. One hand curls around your jaw, thumb brushing the corner of your mouth like hes savoring you, like he knows this will end the same way it always does.

A sigh. A goodbye.

A space between you that neither of you have the guts to close.

"Chris," you breathe, and its not a question, not an accusation─its a plea. One he hears loud and clear.

His forehead drops to yours, chest rising and falling against yours in sync, and you think for a second─just one─that maybe this time, he'll say something. Maybe this time, he won't just let you leave.

But then he exhales, slow and shaky. His fingers brush over your sides before pulling away completely, and just like that, its over.

You blink at him, still caught in haze of it all, lips still tingling from his, body still buzzing with heat and he just looks at you.

Like hes sorry. Like he hates himself for this.

But also like he's okay with it.

You let out a sharp breath, shaking your head as you step back, arms crossing over your chest in a weak attempt to shield yourself from the cold rush of reality.

" this is getting old, chris."

He flinches like the words sting, but he doesnt argue. He never does.

Instead, he just nods, dragging a hand down his face before looking at you with something that might be regret.

Might be love.

"I know."

And the worst part?

So do you.

You should leave. You should walk out of his apartment and out of his cycle, let the door shut behind you and pretend like you don't know exactly how this will go.

But you don't.

Instead, you stand there, arms crossed, waiting for him to say something, anything─but Chris just stares at you, jaw tight, hands flexing at his sides like he wants to reach for you and doesn't trust himself not to.

His eyes never leave you. He looks at you like you're the only thing keeping him standing, like if he doesn't do something right now, he's going to lose his mind.

And maybe that's why you do it.

Why you grab the front of his hoodie, fisting the fabric and yanking him toward you. Why you crash your mouth against his like you need to feel him now, before he disappears again.

Chris stumbles back slightly but recovers fast, his hands landing on your waist, gripping like he's scared you'll pull away. Like he's still trying to figure out if he's allowed to have you.

You part your lips, exhaling against his mouth, and that's all it takes─Chris breaks.

A low groan rumbles from his chest as he tilts his head, deepening the kiss, his tongue sliding against yours in a way that makes your knees weak. His fingers tighten on your hips, pulling you flush against him, and─fuck─he's hard, pressed up against your stomach like he's been waiting for this longer than he'd ever admit.

You don't even realize you're backing up until your shoulders hit the wall, and Chris is on you, caging you in, his hands everywhere─your waist, your back, your face. He kisses you like he's starving, like he's been dying of thirst and you're the only thing that can save him.

His teeth scrape against your bottom lip, and you whimper, tilting your head back. That sound─it does something to him.

Chris's breath is ragged as he dips his head, mouth latching onto your neck, sucking just hard enough to make your stomach flip. His hands slip beneath your shirt, fingertips dragging up your sides, warm and rough, leaving goosebumps in their wake.

"Fuck," he mutters against your skin. "You don't─" he exhales sharply, shaking his head. "You don't get it."

You tilt your head, gasping when his tongue swipes over the mark he just made. "Get what?"

Chris pulls back just enough to look at you, his eyes dark, pupils blown.

"How bad i want you."

Something in your chest tightens─because you do get it. You've always gotten it.

And you're tired of pretending like you don't want him just as bad.

Your hands slip under his hoodie, dragging up his stomach, nails scratching lightly against his skin, and Chris shudders, his breath hitching.

"Then show me," you whisper.

Something snaps.

Chris surges forward, kissing you so hard your head knocks against the wall, but you don't care. His hands are on you, desperate and unrelenting, as he tugs your shirt up, over your head, tossing it somewhere behind him. His hoodie follows, hitting the floor with a soft thud.

Your fingers trail down his stomach, grazing the waistband of his jeans, and Chris exhales a sharp fuck, his head dropping to your shoulder.

"Don't tease," he rasps. "Not tonight."

You nod, slipping your hand past the waistband, palming him through his boxers. He groans, hips jerking into your touch, and the sound alone sends heat pooling between your legs.

Chris suddenly grips your thighs, lifting you effortlessly, and you yelp, wrapping your legs around his waist as he carries you toward the nearest surface─his bedroom.

The second your back hits the mattress, he's on you again, kissing down your body, his hands rough and greedy as they tug at your jeans, dragging them down. You help, kicking them off and then its just him and you, bare skin against bare skin, all warmth and need and desperation.

Chris pauses for a second, hovering over you, his chest heaving. His eyes search yours, something unspoken lingering between you.

You nod, reaching up to cup his jaw, "im yours, Chris."

And thats all he needs.

He kisses you slow this time─deep, consuming, like he wants to take his time memorizing the way you feel beneath him. His hands roam, learning every inch of you, before he finally gives you what you both need.

And when he pushes into you, stretching you open, filling you completely─

you let out a strong moan. A gasp.

Your back arching off of the bed. Chris grips your hips, he bottoms out inside of you , groaning softly.

"Fuckk.."

He thrusts into you like hes trying to carve himself into your bones. Like if he presses hard enough, you'll never be able to forget the way he feels.

His forehead drops against yours, breaths tangled, his lips brushing yours with every sharp thrust. Your nails dig into his back, dragging down the smooth skin, desperate to ground yourself because its too much─but at the same time, not enough. "oh my godd─chris.."

"Fuck," chris mutters, voice ragged. "You feel─" He groans, finger gripping your waist so tight you know you'll feel it tomorrow. "You feel so fucking good."

Your body arches again into him, heat coiling low in your stomach. "chris─"

"i got you, baby." the words slip out, quiet and unintentional, and chris freezes for half a second─like he wasnt supposed to say that.

But you dont let him pull away.

Your hands cup his jaw, forcing him to look at you, and the moment your eyes lock, something shifts.

Its not just about the desperation anymore. Not just about the frustration, the push and pull, the months─years─of unspoken tension.

its about this.

Chris and you.

Together, for the first time without hesitation, without pretending like this isn't exactly where you both belong.

His pace slows, hips rolling against yours with an intensity that has your breath catching in your throat. Its deep, slow, devastating─and suddenly, you feel the weight of it, the way he's holding you like you might disappear, the way he presses his lips to your temples like he's scared to say what he's thinking.

You pull him closer, wrapping your legs around him tighter.

"Chris.." you breathe, titing your chin up to kiss him. He groans into your mouth, his grip on your waist tightening as he picks up the pace again, thrusts growing rougher, more desperate.

He's losing himself inside of you. The slick feel of your tight pussy clenching around him and pulling him in.

"i know," he whispers against your lips, voice wrecked. "I know, baby."

Your stomach tightens, pleasure twisting dangerously low,, and you can feel it building, seconds away from─

Chris's fingers find your clit, rubbing slow, deliberate circles, and─

Everything shatters.

Your head tips back, his name falling from your lips in a broken, needy whimper, and chris follows right after, his stuttering, his grip on you bruising as he cums with a low, drawn─out groan.

You both stay still, neither of you moving. Chris stays pressed against you, his forehead buried in your shoulder, breath still ragged. Your fingers find his hair, nails scraping against his scalp, and you feel him shudder.

And when he finally lifts his head, looking at you like you hung the fucking stars.

Your'e not sure if you want to say anything,

Not sure if you wanna know what happens next.

ᥫ᭡ Authors Note

this is so long lmfao

chris saying what he said abt being

in love def inspired this so 👅🤘🏾

xoxo paris

[vampyrebug-art]

So terribly sorry if this has been answered before-- but how do you get that texture in your pieces? It's absolutely gorgeous!! and your method of layering the colors is stunning, do you have any tips for that? Thank you!! ;w;

no one has actually asked this before, so dont worry !!

i dont know how well i can explain it though 😓

i put down a base layer in my color of choice

then i use a small pencil brush (personally i love 'dirty pencil pastel' or 'sawdust' both by robogart on itch.io) and try to avoid overlapping my pen so that most of the individual strokes are still visible

small is relative but to put into perspective i use a 1800px x 2250px, 450 dpi canvas and a 10-12px brush

more or less the same method for the shading and highlights too

i record a lot of my drawings for instagram/tiktok, so hope this helps better visualize what i mean 🙏🙏

[mdzs-owns-my-ass-i-guess]

Arguments:

Yue Qingyuan: he's sect leader so he has enough authority and respect for the junior disciples not to giggle too much to his face. Uses very elegant and veiled language, lots of euphemisms. Qi Qingqi heard him refer to vaginas as "flowers" once and she nearly qi deviated. He keeps it brief and vague and doesn't take more than two questions which he usually redirects to Mu Qingfang because he's a doctor and not because Yue Qingyuan is too flustered. He focuses a lot on being respectful and gentle, as well as ready to take responsibility if accidents happen. There's a rumor in CQM for a week that YQY is boringly vanilla in bed if his flowery lesson is anything to go by (it isnt).

Qi Qingqi: very thorough, with a focus on why it's important to be safe, sane and consensual. She teaches a very detailed class on women's health and bodies and everybody has to attend and take notes. There will be a test at the end. No, it doesnt matter if youre gay or ace. You take the test. Extra lesson on sexual harrassment because she has seen the way men ogle her female disciples and she made it a point to remind everyone that her peak disciples are taught a secret technique to emergency castrate men if so needed (nobody knows if this is actually true but nobody wants to find out).

Shang Qinghua: goes into way too much detail. It somehow feels like an engineering lesson, he is very focused on the logistics of things and what goes where. Use lube and don't beat your partner up unless it's been negotiated before are his main lessons and everyone can tell it's from personal experience. He's very open to talk about kinks and fetishes, though. Recommends buying his own bad smut as guide for sex. Sales dont skyrocket, go figure. His disciples are pretty sure that their peak lord isnt having sex the right way.

Liu Qingge: "if you have sex you will die." is how he starts the lesson. He lists out all the possible bad consequences of sex, from UTIs and pregnancies, to deadly STDs and qi deviation. He doesn't believe in dual cultivation, if you want to improve your core you have to train like a normal person. The lesson is mostly about how to defend oneself in case of a non-consensual situation. The whole CQM decides nobody fucks on Bai Zhan peak because they are too scared of Liu Qingge.

Shen Qingqiu (as Shen Yuan): he is very flustered about it, with his thin face and all, so he mostly focuses on the emotional side of it, how it should be with someone trustworthy and enthusiastically consensual. He also drops the more uncomfortable questions on to Mu Qingfang. If you mention the Song of Bingqiu to him, you receive 57 laps around the mountain precisely. Makes it a point to say that, if accidents do happen, he is open to help out with any unexpected children. His disciples are even more flushed than he is because he didnt turn off the wife beam.

Shen Qingqiu (as Shen Jiu): no. He wont do it. They can read about it in books or ask Mu Qingfang or whatever other alternative, Shen Jiu isn't teaching them anything about that. He isnt doing this full stop. Its bad enough people look down on him for visiting brothels, like hell will he talk about it to a bunch of horny teenagers. They'll figure it out eventually. He drops something like "make sure you dont force anyone into it including yourself" and doesnt elaborate.

Mu Qingfang: everyone just expects him to do it so he's the CQM's Aunt Flo whether he likes it or not. He's the most normal about it, explaining everything in medical terms and presenting possible negative comsequences rationally, without fearmongering. The only one open to answering all questions, no matter how wild. Shen Qingqiu and Luo Binghe also sneakily attend the lesson for...additional information. He is very calm and relaxed about it. Everyone thinks Mu Qingfang gets mad hole in his free time because he knows everything about everything.

[sorry-not-feeling-it-right-now]

Ask game here!!! ^^^ (I’m on IPad so it looks like this unfortunately 😭)

(Oh gosh three asks asking me about the same character (I’ll just put them together and answer it as a singular post!))

(Also this turned out way longer than I’ve expected so I’m gonna put a cut here!! To save scrolling time!!)

FAVORITE THING ABOUT THEM

Probably how open Smitten is with his emotions!!! He feels so so much with his whole heart and I really love how he’s not afraid to share them! He is a really honest and earnest character and I don’t really see him lying in any way (and if he does, he’d probably do a really terrible job at it because of how he wears his heart on his sleeve andnsjsm). I can’t help but feel that his earnestness is something worth admiring!

Oh! And of course of how gentle he can be! Despite his bravado he really knows how to lift someone up with his soft words. He can see how someone is hurting and would attempt to lift them up by reminding them that they are loved and is worth loving. I especially love him in Thorn because of this reason. He’s really just love personified (even if it’s towards his own deterrent (don’t do that Smitten))

Also also! I love the way he speaks! He’s so dramatic with his speech patterns that it gives me the giddiest feeling whenever I hear him speak. His princely flair got me alright… he’s so cute,,,.,,…

AND!!! How he subverts the expectations of how love is a purely good thing!!! Love can hurt really really bad as well as heal!! Both the giver and the receiver!!!! And how he is a representation of using fantasy as a coping mechanism!!! He has a lot!!! Of stuff!!!!

(Ik it said “favourite thing about them (singular)” but I can’t help but give him appreciation by yapping)

LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT THEM

(I do have some things to say about that despite you occupying 90% of my brain space Smitten </3 it’s out of love tho I promy…)

To mirror what I’ve said at the beginning, it’s of how self-sacrificing he is. My guy has zero self-preservation and self-love despite being the personification of love and emotion. He would literally die for the one he loves and like,,,, NO!!!! SMITTY!!!! SOME PEOPLE WOULD WANT YOU TO LIVE!!!! FOR THEM!!!! SOME PEOPLE WOULD TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOUR DEVOTION!!!!! DONT DO IT!!!! SHAKING YOU ON THE SHOULDERS /AFF

FAVORITE LINE

He has a lot of great lines tbh sbsnsjs

A lot of them are really good, but I just, can’t remember a lot of them, so I’ll just put down those that I actually remember

“My wrath will echo the depths of my bereavement.”

“If we just showed her the contents of our heart... She'd be happy here." ABSOLUTE CHILLS

“YOU SMARMY ASS”

"By cruelly turning on the Princess on her moment of vulnerability we made ourselves an enemy. But, by mastering our fear and insecurity and handing over our power, we've begun a journey to something so much deeper"

BROtp

Smitten and Skeptic! As well as Smitten and Stubborn!!

The Heart and The Head!! The Grey Brothers have a special place in my heart… They’re like the two people who’s really different from each other but enjoys each other’s company regardless of that difference. They balance each other out rather nicely despite them never meeting each other officially in game: like, Skeptic could teach Smitten to think before he act on his own emotions and be more sceptical of the intentions of other people, while Smitten could encourage Skeptic to feel with his heart! I see Skeptic as the type of person to have a hard time empathising with other people and would rely heavily on his logic to help solve the problem for them instead of simply listening to them (he cares, just doesn’t know how to do it in a way that’s unfamiliar to him/not his nature), so I think having Smitten be there to teach him how to do that would help him greatly. They would probably understand each other in the ending where TLQ kills Shifty’s heart and becomes a god himself, since Skeptic knows what’s it like to not have a grounding presence to catch him (for Smitten it’s the Princess). Him and Cheated would comfort Smitten during those times.

And here’s Beauty and Brawn! Aside from their shared appreciation for the Princess, they are also both really passionate characters who are extremely open with their emotions. Smitten would appreciate Stubborn’s showcase of passion towards the Princess, while Stubborn would see strength and potential in Smitten as an opponent! Stubborn would probably rather head straight ahead towards violence instead of using words like Smitten does, but he likes the guy so what the hell

Stubborn would try to get Smitten to fight him, but Smitten just, doesn’t fight him simply because being violent is really not in his nature (unless Stubborn intentionally gloats him into fighting him)

They would be the duo that hugs and cries together whenever there’s a touching scene playing in a movie

OTP

You already know,,..,,,, (it’s Burned Bridges)

Funnily enough the infamous Burned Grey lines aren’t the reason why I ship them in the first place

It’s the fact that I remembered a line Cold had said about Smitten would one day want the emotions to go away completely despite how strongly those emotions burn at the current moment , and then telling him to trust him on it.

It just. Reveals so much about Cold as a character.

Not only does it imply that Cold isn’t completely emotionless as he oh so often tells us that he is, and that he had felt strong emotions at one point but had chosen to repress them completely due to how much it had hurt him, but it also reveals that he doesn’t seem to hold the same animosity towards Smitten as the other way around (at least, not the level of hatred Smitten holds for him),as he actually gave him advice on the subject matter. He seems to be more amused by Smitten then anything. Burned Grey is a route where Smitten was denied of his purpose with us deciding to kill the Princess, and Cold’s whole thing is about his purpose being denied, and hence the numbing ache in his heart that he desperately wants to fill. So I feel like he would probably understand Smitten in that regard of having his purpose denied. He just, find Smitten’s anger really freaking amusing due to the fact that Smitten is usually really chipper. And also the fact that Anger is the rawest emotion there is.

They would definitely start on rough terms though. With Smitten actually fulfilling his promise on letting Cold feel what he had felt (via hurting Cold) and Cold just becoming more and more interested in how far Smitten would go in his pursuit of vengeance. How far would he go? How low would he stoop? He would love to know, and so he would gloat him more and more and see how he would react.

But knowing Smitten, he would probably get really tired of hurting Cold over and over again. He is. Just not a violent person at heart. His starring chapter two is literally one of the three routes that doesn’t have a chapter one that ends with violence(it technically does but you know what I mean(Damsel, Prisoner, Stranger)). Eventually it would reach a point where he would just tiredly tell Cold off without it ending with violence, and that would make Cold feel surprised about the change in his usual pattern of behaviour. I’d like to think that Cold would be the person to reach Smitten out to soothe him on his hollowness and aimlessness when Smitten would deny him over and over until he eventually lets Cold do his thing (heavily influenced by @pink-november ‘s fic btw) and Smitten coming to a realisation that Cold might not be as emotionless as he thought… and then the two deciding to start over on their relationship and become friends… and then learning that wait, they’re actually quite similar… and then they unknowingly fall for each other for real the more time they spend with each other…. oughhhhh slowburn Burned Bridges my beloved

“Who needs violence when you have love?”

“Who needs love when you’ve mastered yourself?”

Also also, fire and ice, pink and black, pillow and blanket, “hero” and “villain” (but not really), emotional doofus and stoic fella????? ENEMIES TO FRIENDS TO LOVERS SLOWBURN?????? That’s a lot of stuff!!!! (And the comedic whiplash of “GRRRR I HATE YOU!!!!” to them cuddling together is just. Really funny to me ok.)

Again, this ship can either go down an even more toxic route then it already is (yummy toxic yaoi) or it could become something really fluffy and tender. It really depends on what direction the writer wants the ship to go. I’m fine with either though. Both are really fun routes.

NOtp

I don’t really have a NOtp for him tbh,,..,,,,.

RANDOM HEADCANON

I’ve already said this in another post, but I’d like to imagine Smitten would abuse nicknames and name the voices with the positive qualities he sees in them. Also this is a headcanon for the Voices in general, but I’d like to think that he’d struggle acting away from his nature. Much like the Vessels, the Voice’s nature is all they knew. A part of him would always yearn for the presence of the Princess, since she was literally who he was made to love and dote upon. Even though he would feel genuinely happy that TLQ had found his one true love, a part of him would always feel that emptiness She had left behind, and his heart would ache more and more. Broken in Apotheosis had proven that the Voices can in fact grow their perspective and in turn become more complex, so I feel like Smitten would definitely have his own arc as well once the Voices learn to become their own person and not just a singular facet of TLQ (and especially Oppy and Cold but this ain’t about them).

Smitten would be really affectionate with his show of affection (depends on Voice to Voice though!!!! He wouldn’t want to make them feel uncomfortable). If you ask him which showcase of affection his likes most, he would tell you that he loves all shows of affection equally! Love is love and should be showed proud and loud across your heart! He’s the type of guy to casually give platonic smooches on the cheeks (again, depends on Voice to Voice—if the Voice is uncomfortable with smooches, he’d probably just do a handshake or something). He doesn’t really put a line in love. To him, love is just that—love. There is no need to put a line between platonic, familial and romantic love. As long as the parties are comfortable with how that love is expressed, there is no problem!

Also can we all agree he would write the corniest love songs ever?? Thanks (Cold would be amused by him and listens to Smitten perform despite his comment on the corniness of it all ahahahahah anyway)

UNPOPULAR OPINION

I can agree on Smitten not being a d!ck but saying Smitten is completely harmless and lacks any malicious intent is where I have to disagree. I dunno if this is an unpopular opinion though.

Him wanting to hurt someone in the name of love IS malicious intent despite the motivation. And he has proven that can AND will do what he had said that he would do with him literally killing us after we killed Damsel for seemingly no reason. He is love as much as he is emotional.

Also he seems to care more about how you AND the Princess feels more then his own opinions. He reads as a people pleaser to me. He genuinely just wants you and the Princess to be happy, but then that mixing with his own perception that he is supposed to be the knight in shining armour for the Princess makes for a weird complex.

SONG I ASSOCIATE WITH THEM

We Become We, but specifically that one part of the song with HEA Smitten. I do love me some angst.

(Again sorry about the format!!!!!)

Full song: https://youtu.be/hRllUeany_Q?si=AJHdP-dJUHdf-r30

That one part: https://youtu.be/mwnXg6GXCk8?si=G1hzN_EG93ulKAhN

FAVOURITE PICTURE OF THEM

Ohohohohoh I have a couple of those teehee

(I love it when I just draw him like a ball)

[funnier-as-a-system]

hey sorry for adding to the number of vents in your inbox but we really need some advice and we’re too afraid to let our plural friends know abt this </3 dont feel pressured to answer if you dont know how or dont want to ^-^

i almost never hear other voices in my head(space?) & thats like. THE symptom of being a system. sometimes i’ll ask into the void if anyone is there or try to switch out of front and . nothing happens. for the past 6 months ive been heavily questioning whether or not im really plural or if i just dissociate and think im a different person sometimes and this is really the main reason why i think im probably not a system; the only times i have ever actually felt like there are other people in my head are when i was very badly dissociated (usually caused by extreme mental distress)

a little help would be truly appreciated but again, u dont need to answer ^^ either way if ur reading this, i hope you have a lovely day!! we love your blog 💖🙏

Hey, there!

I want to reassure you and let you know that it's perfectly fine and possible to be a system without hearing anything internally. Internal communication does get a lot of focus in the community, which is why it can be seen as "the symptom of being a system", but in truth, I don't think there's such thing as a defining symptom of being a system outside of the literal definition (which in itself can vary a bit from system to system). All of us are different; we all go through different things, have different experiences, live different lives. You don't have to be able to hear or even sense others inside your head to be a system.

If you say that you think you're a different person sometimes, well, that sounds pretty system-like to me! Besides, it's not unusual for things like this to only really be noticeable when you're Going Through It™. That's when a lot of symptoms tend to rear their heads the most, I'd say.

And ignoring all that, it took us years to become as skilled as we are with internal communication and switching on purpose. Six months can feel like a lot when you're questioning, but you're also trying to learn two completely new skills. You shouldn't expect yourself/ves to be perfect right off the bat, and you shouldn't judge yourself based on what others define their systemhood around. Again, you can be a system even if your brain is silent and you can't get anyone to switch with you. If you feel like you're a system, you're probably a system, regardless of whatever else is going on up there.

We hope you have a lovely day too, anon!

[cosmictulips]

Tulips! What do you think about these intuition music you find on YouTube. How does it work? I mean does it actually work? When I practice tarot, i tend to listen to it, I started that habit for some random reason, it's like a personal belief that it might help and that I need it. But does it really do anything?

If I listen to it while choosing piles in a PAC, will it guide me?

to me, honestly, it works just about as much as any music does haha.

I listen to Hertz... stuff as well and I mean, it does almost nothing more for me than if I just... listened to regular music.

which honestly, I prefer the more mellow, instrumental, quiet stuff anyway.... when doing tarot lol.

the shamanic drums though! gets my third eye going like no tomorrow!

I also, and this is kind of beside the point, do reiki asmr stuff. that really calms me down and doesn't necessarily help me with tarot but it does help me unwind so there's that if you're interested lmao.

but yea, I typically use them. don't really know if they do anything. but they for sure help me clear my head, which is ultimately what I'm looking for regardless.

[arthur-lesters-right-arm]

Here, i'll help out with the *starting shit*

Do you think if Arthur touches his eyes it gets John off?

Alright Starting Shit is cancelled everyone go home.

[astralzeraphias]

“he was mentally ill. this monster was a- was a sick fantasy. a product of his dementia.”

“…i saw it too. does that make me disturbed? demented? does… that make me sick too?”

[lokh]

what do you think toshiro's version of laios would've been like if he was still with the group during the shapeshifter shenanigans

there have been a few speculations in the tag and among the fans and they are all very good SO i am going to take this opportunity to insert a bit of my shipping bias as i like in my interpretation LMAO agdsfgdfgv

i noted that in actuality shuro seems to have a very good grasp on laios' character??? this is most obvious in the manga later on but even seeing how he criticises laios in their fight... iirc nothing he says is actually untrue or wildly exaggerated, and while he does express frustration over something he feels like laios Should have control over (noticing his cues), he is also aware that laios isnt being malicious and that hes Just Like That. what i mean to say is that while i think his version of laios may seem more pushy and in-your-face, i dont think it will be overwhelmingly so. if its post-fight, i think the idea of laios (and marcille) being willing to do anything to get falin back made a big impression on him, as well as the idea that they need to eat and rest in order to succeed in their goals, so those aspects would be prominent in his version. he seems pretty observant, so i think for the most part the physical traits would line up, but i think there would be specific things that stand out to him that would appear strangely striking on his version of laios (like. idk something about his eye colour or the subtle contrast of his armour and chainmail. he seems to have a weird sense of aesthetics if extras are anything to go by lmao). if hed actually been paying attention all those times laios had gone on about what the hell ever, then it might be even MORE hard to tell apart his version since he would also have a good grasp on what laios should know. so either his version of laios is pretty difficult to pick out, OR despite the character being accurate his appearance is too. stylised lmao (exaggerated features or something) OR!! they just get him to pull out his monster gourmet guide thing and are able to tell from there. iirc everyone was surprised at its appearance so its possible toshiro had also never seen it before

IN MY IMAGINARY SHIPPING SCENARIO............ lets say that his laios isnt able to be picked out immediately and that the monster guide thing also doesnt immediately occur to anyone. what the real laios Specifically notices is how close this other laios keeps getting to shuro. and hes like. ??? why is he getting so close to him, theres no way i get that close to him??? but no one else seems to be picking up on it as weird, so hes having a small crisis like do i REALLY get that close to him???? and now that hes on the outside he notices shuro subtly leaning away and he feels both a wave of shame and..... protectiveness??? (JEALOUSY??????) and he immediately steps in and grabs him like Hey!!! cant you see hes uncomfortable???? weve been through this already!!! and like. ok i cant believe im doing this again but i need to separate this into different endings

a) the whump route: i dont think shuro ever envisioned Actually Telling laios about his frustrations outside of being basically cornered into it. has he ever spoken up against what was expected of him?? has he ever been confrontational???? i think part of what held him back from expressing his frustrations, along with the cultural norms, could be fear of what the reaction would be. if he had done the same in any other aspect of his life (his family, his inheritance), i think he would expect disappointment, disapproval, more proof that he doesnt add up to expectation. to be honest i dont think he Truly believes that laios is the type of person to react like this. but it was strong enough to prevent him from acting and i think would be projected onto his image of laios. maybe fake!laios says something dismissive like Well if it really bothered him hed say something right? what, he cant even stand up for himself? cmon, shuro, prove that you cant handle it just like everything else. and thats pretty much the fastest giveaway that it isnt really laios. of course this would be a HUGE tonal departure from what the actual episode/chapter was, so:

b) the dumbass route: both laioses break into fisticuffs, and, yes.... barking. and so they speedrun the entire encounter as the shapeshifters true form appears and, after laios points out that thinking too hard about others versions of you can tear apart groups and peace of mind, they pointedly do not speak of it again. they think about it though. a LOT

c) the normal route: both laioses argue normal like and the group ends up being able to tell them apart because the fake laios goes on a little too long about how theyre all here for falin and everyones like ok its not like he DOESNT love his sister but.......... the rest of the scenario probably goes like canon, though then i would want to see what everyone Else thought of shuro

[faunandfloraas]

im so glad im not the only person that looks at seungmin and goes "❓tism❓" bc he is Way Too Relatable to me as a person w autism

yeah..... like I say it in jest but also..... well, yk. sometimes you notice something and you notice something and you notice something and you go Hmmmm

[moeblob]

Right and his work menaces (Brent and Karen).

I don't remember last I mentioned it but apart from crude nicknames to people (except Chris), he also just puts them in his phone really weird (except Chris, who is literally in his phone as Chris). And I bring this up because in Right's phone, Karen is saved as "Lawful Obligation".

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Okay, random question but in the panel where Lan Zhan & Wei Ying are riding side by side, why is Alan Zhan’s horse sad? Is Little Apple bullying him? :(

PS: I check in daily for your posts, OBSESSED 😭

Alan Zhan (patron saint of when the substitute professor gets your name wrong).

[deoidesign]

Can you make a tutorial on how you world build and make ocs? I can't seem to make any people in my brain, but then when I try to come up with environments jobs, beliefs and little details to slowly come up with someone, I think: well I don't really know how people have influenced the world- it's a weird loop

To be honest, I don't think I can! Writing is an extremely personal process. The way I write is directly related to how I process things, what I find important in stories, years of my own analysis of my and other's writing, etc... The way you write will be unique to you, as well. But I can explain how I personally think of it.

The short answer:

Write. Write anything and everything, it's a tool to explore your ideas. Analyze your own writing, and write more. Then, as you discover which ideas you want to develop, write more to explore them more. You won't know what you want otherwise!

The long answer:

I think this kind of loop is common. It's easy to feel like everything needs to be done "at once," because our job as writers is to make elements logically fit with each other for our readers. But as you've discovered, developing multiple elements simultaneously isn't really possible, or at least is extremely difficult.

Personally, when I think of writing, I break it into three major elements; characters, world, and plot. As much as possible every scene explores one or more of these, and as much as possible these three things tie back into what I personally consider most important: theme.

Everything I do is in service of the themes I want to present. Without them my events feel aimless. It can take a while to discover them, but they're the core of my work. You will have to discover what you feel is the core of yours. Analyzing other media helps with this too.

Concepts in your brain exist in a state of infinite potential. But when you start writing you have to start making choices, which removes potential as you move forward... But you have to move forward anyways. If there's ideas you want to explore later, you can always explore them later.

What this ends up meaning, to answer your question, is that I don't think of my characters as "people in my brain" or my worlds as something people have influenced... Not at their core, at least. They are tools that I use to represent specific ideas. Obviously they're also my blorbos, but mostly they're serving a specific narrative purpose.

So above all else... Write. Write, and discover what you're writing about, and then start over and write with that in mind. Keep doing this. But you have to write!

[reel-fear]

I’m sorry but I don’t really understand what’s wrong with the Bendy books not being canon. I should put into account that I haven’t read any of them so maybe my opinion will change if I do end up giving them a read but let me get back to the main point. I’ve been in the FNaF community and let me tell you, they don’t take kindly to the TFTPP books. They constantly complain about what is canon or not and how it stinks that the books are now reliant to understand the lore when back then they were optional. If you ask me I think Paul and Mike dodged a bullet with this decision by just straight up telling the fans if the books are canon or not while Scott keeps it ambiguous. My final point is that there are other franchises that do this sorta thing, not just Bendy. Take for example, Sonic the Hedgehog. There’s a lot of spinoff tv shows and comics but most of them aren’t considered canon to the main games (Although I think Prime and IDW are canon though I’m not sure) so I don’t see why Bendy gets flack for doing the same thing while Sonic gets a pass.

What do you think?

I think you should read the other posts where I have literally explained this so many times instead of explaining to me stuff I already know. I am literally so sick of people like you expecting me to write a new response EVERYTIME you need it explained to you those situations are DIFFERENT. Here are the links, they are all in the Ramblez tag on my blog, it's not hard.

There. Go read my other posts I know you have nothing else to do but expect strangers to treat u like a baby and hold your hand through these topics but I am not being paid to be ur babysitter. Also if you can't even bother to read the books you think shouldn't be canon, you're not allowed to have an opinion on this. I'm literally gonna make a fucking banner at this rate just telling people to check my ramblez tag before asking me a question on a topic I've gone in depth on. If you still have questions that's fine but you're literally explaining to me shit I already know and being rude about it.

[oifaaa]

Oifaaa. You give Tim vibes.

Well which is it????

[electroniccollectiondonut]

I have not been in this fandom long enough to reasonably judge others' takes however. "EPIC fans are so silly to characterize odysseus as feeling guilty for his actions don't you know he's a war criminal" is definitely a wild one. like first of all to each their own so settle down and let people enjoy things ok. and secondly making choices with a bad outcome, even knowingly and deliberately, does not exclude the possibility of feeling bad about it later. in fact it makes for a much more in depth character because then you get to explore what he does or doesn't feel guilt over, and why, and if that guilt ever edges into regret or not.