#i dont know how to write it cause its too big for me to articulate but family dynamics in this show is | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

freaksun · 1 month ago

Text

hot, hotter, hottest

part 2 of this ! i actually fucking hate this but some people asked for a part two so I feel like i should post it anyways lol

super long and boring and no p in v happens plus the writing is just bad cause i was stoned to get thru it lmaooo

sorry guys ive never written smut before 🥲🥲send some smut requests so i can practice!!

“im gonna close the door”

you’re giddy, practically tripping over your own feet on the short walk to his bedroom door. you take a deep breath, your hand resting on the cheap flimsy wood. you hope to ground yourself so you can really remember this. whatever this is gonna be.

he’s trying to calm himself too, his hands running up and down his thighs, trying to focus his hands on the denim of his jeans. he leans back against his bed -still sitting on the floor- takes a deep breath, and watches you come back to him.

he adores your smile everyday, but even moreso now that theres a coy tilt of your neck, tilting your chin inward.

you’re not sure how to re-initiate a hot-and-heavy makeout session. you feel awkward and nervous but the way hes looking at you certainly helps. plus, its making you feel hot.

youre still standing while his face is at about waist level. youve been in this position before but this time hes not hiding how it makes him feel. hes looking up at you with a hungry, downright devilish look in his eyes. his hands come up your thighs, rubbing up and down the soft fabric of your pajama pants and stopping at your hips.

“i love you too, y’know”

his big brown eyes stare up into yours, crawling up into your brain and consuming your thoughts entirely. he wants, no, needs you to know he means it.

you run your hands through his hair, petting him like you’ve been dating forever. there are a million things your mind tells you to say, but you cant articulate anything, too caught up in the excitement of this moment.

you crawl onto the bed behind him. he follows you, laying on his stomach looking at you while you get comfortable (as comfortable as you can with the way your heart is pounding and youre in a cold sweat) with your arms wrapped around your knees, holding them close for comfort.

something he always liked about you is your cute little self-soothing behaviours. the way you try so hard to be present in every moment, to not miss a thing.

“you ok?” he touches your shin softly, rubbing on it comfortingly and then sliding his hand down to wrap around your ankle. hes always touchy like this, tries his best to make you feel loved and safe while also using it as an excuse to touch and love on you.

“yeah.. im fine, eds.” you smile, but it doesnt reach your ears. he frowns, in a overdramatic cartoony ‘i know youre lying’ kind of way. silly as he is.

“im just..” you sigh “i dunno.. i guess ive wanted this so long. dreamed about it, yanno?”

hes blushing, suddenly bashful.

“yeah, i know baby.. me too.” he doesnt want to admit to all the times hes thought about how you’d sound, how you’d feel under him, how you’d taste and what you’d be into. doesnt want to confess to touching himself staring at a model pretending its you, or imagining it was your hand wrapped around his cock. so all he says is me too.

“i just- what if.. what if im not good? what if i cant.” you struggle to say the words out loud

“what if i cant make you.. f-feel good and you change your mind?” your eyes bore into his, wide and shining with passion

his mouth feels dry as he stares back with an awestruck expression. he cant imagine a world where you’d be naked in front of him, and he’d do anything but worship you.

“baby..” he sits up, looking you in your eyes

“i- i dont want you for that, i love you.” he caresses your face, pinching your cheek lightly.

“I dont care about that stuff, y’know? and.. you know, im not-“ he laughs nervously

“Im not that.. well versed.” he clears his throat

your eyes widen “you mean..” you cant believe hes a virgin, looking like that?? being as sweet and charming and fucking sexy as him??

“N-no!! I mean ive had.. experiences, but.” hes all stuttery and nervous, you find it incredibly endearing. “I dont think they liked me all that much.. it was just embarrassing, honestly.”

you dont know what to say. you feel bad, but you dont think a pitied tone would really help him. you think it might emasculate him or whatever..

“Oh..” your eyes flicker between his lips and making eye contact. its selfish, but you enjoy the idea of being his first nice experience.. “come here.”

you open your knees so he can crawl between them, slotting himself there nice and snug as you grab his face and pull him in.

your eyes are already closed, mouth slightly open when his lips hit yours, and in seconds, its tongues clashing fighting for dominance as you both make quiet noises of pleasure

his hands move down, one on your hip holding you possesively, the other grazing your chest, timid. you grab his wrist and force his hand down, giving him complete permission, almost begging him.

his large hand squeezes gently, he groans immediately at the soft squish of your clothed boob.

he pulls back just to groan “fuck” and “you have no idea how long ive wanted to touch your pretty tits”

you giggle at his boyish slang, it makes you feel dirty but in a good way, like a teenage fantasy.

(and you were his, so…)

you tug at his shirt, staring up at him with doe eyes, looking innocent despite the way your thighs are already squeezing him. he smirks and wastes no time in ripping his lazy band tee off.

your breath shudders, eyes taking his lean torso in. you’ve seen him shirtless plenty of times - and yes of course you noticed when he suddenly had abs and a slender v line running down into his pants- but seeing him like this, his chest heaving in big adrenaline filled breaths, leaning over you with a nasty look in his eyes… it was almost too much

“like what you see?” he teases, ego beaming at the way you falter, eyes stuck drinking him in.

“so much.” your fingertips softly run up his abs, following up to grab the back of his neck to pull him in yet again, you just cant get enough of this thing youve been yearning for so long.

he chuckles against your lips, then gently takes your bottom lip between his teeth and pulls ever-so-gently.

you whine much to his delight, sounding absolutely wrecked and pathetic.

your hands roam around his neck, running up his head to get a nice handful of hair, pulling at it while he swipes his tongue across your teeth and you giggle

“you are a freak” you giggle and pull his head back, exposing that pretty neck of his

he groans, and almost whimpers and the sound is fucking delicious, goes directly between your thighs.

you latch onto his neck, sucking and nibbling gently, a touch of pain that you know he’ll like

and he does, blatantly, whining and sounding just as pathetic as you. (if not more)

he can feel you smirking against the wet skin you just defiled, and feels he needs to get some power back in this battle for dominance

he thumbs at the hem of your shirt

“can i take this off?” you crumble all over again at how sweet he is, how sweet you knew he’d be

“go for it, rockstar” you smile and he thinks you might be a siren sent to ruin his life

he pulls your cute fitted shirt up over your head and you thank the universe that you wore your good bra, the lilac one with the cute pattern sewn into it

he swallows, like a nervous cartoon and you fall even deeper for him

“h-holy shit” he mutters under his breath and you’re not sure if he even knows he did

“very romantic” you scoff, teasing him

“sorry, i mean.. holy shit”

you sit up, your knees in between his

“s’just a bra eds..” youre smiling in that way he almost never sees you smile and he thinks you enjoy tormenting him (you do, very much)

“wanna take it off?” you look up at him, innocent eyes right above the most sinfil smirk

he nods quickly, eyes wide to match his whole cartoon thing

he snakes his slender arms around you, and you feel his warm hands fumbling the clasp while his tongue sticks out in concentration

he looks entirely too nervous for your liking, getting more and more discouraged every second he cant get it off. he wants to be charming and smooth and sexy, not geeky and awkward and not able to take a fucking bra off

“s’okay baby” you kiss his cheek, your voice soft but stern

“no rush. you got it, try again” your encouraging words in that buttery sultry tone makes him wanna devote himself to you

he takes a deep breath and tries two more times, his eyes light up when he sees your straps fall down your arms

he bites his lips as a subconscious grounding technique as he pulls your bra down your arms and off your chest, he wants to remember every inch of you, just incase you change your mind and never wanna do this again

his lashes flutter the second your tits are exposed, his jaw going slack and you swear his eyes glaze over.

“God fucking damn, mama” his hands trail up your hips, the sides of your tummy, and tremble lightly as they feel you, finally

his eyes flicker to yours but he cant seem to maintain eye contact when your perfect tits are right in front of him, literally in his hands

in a total trance he follows his instincts on autopilot, leaning down to kiss his way to your nipple without even thinking

his kisses trail from the top of your chest down to the swell of your boob, his hand on your shoulder softly pushing you to lay on his pillows, propped up in the perfect position for him to lick and then latch his lips to your nipple, softly sucking

you gasp quietly, most guys just made out with you before sex, none have ever been interested in much foreplay - especially like this, his tongue circling your sensitive nipple, his hand squeezing your other boob and playing with that nipple too

your hands find his head quickly, running your fingers through his hair and gently massaging, making him moan the loudest yet

he’s practically slipping into sub space, completely entranced in the act of service while you pet his head like a good dog

he pulls off you with a *pop* , licking you a few more times for good measure before he’s looking up at you, completely wrecked

his hair is messy, face flushed, eyes lidded with heavy want, and his lips all bright pink

“will you please let me taste you?” his voice is lamblike, practically begging

your breath hitches as you continue gently scratching at his scalp

“o-okay” you’re entirely unsure, no one else had ever shown any interest in going down on you, too preoccupied with hitting and running without even asking if you got off, and the idea of him between your thighs like that is making you tremble

“thank you” he moans against your skin, kissing both tits, your tummy, above your fleecy pjs that cover your cunt

your eyelids flutter, the combination of his good manners and his face so close to your most sensitive and intimate place making you dizzy

his eyes meet yours, a giddy expression on his stupid face as he pulls your pjs down your hips but you stutter when he takes your panties between his fingers

“i-i..” he looks up at you with wide eyes

“do you not want me to? w-we dont have to..” he gently rubs your thigh

“n-i do, im just..” he smiles suddenly and you think its odd, but its just him reading you like a book as always

“no one’s ever done this before?” you blush and look down at your bare thighs, shaking your head

“look at me baby” you do. “thats a real shame. real fucking shame no ones ever kissed this pretty pussy” hes never seen your eyes this wide and it fuels his ego for this whole charming thing hes doing

“its gonna feel real good baby, what are you scared of?” hes direct but its clear in his face hes not judging you and you know he’d never pressure you into anything

“uh-i- uhm. just- just stop if its bad, ok?” you stop making eye contact

he cant think of a sophisticated and sweet thing to say so he opts for shutting you up

he adjusts his grip on your thighs and pulls you closer to him, his nose poking at your clothed clit

he smirks, absolutely giddy as he pulls your panties down gently, looking into your eyes for a second before he cant help staring as more of you is revealed

his entire demeanour changes once theyre off and you swear you hear him whisper some sort of prayer quietly

he wastes no time, his lips gently kissing your bare pussy trying to be as gentlemanly as he’d always fantasized but he cant help himself for more than a second before losing his composure and eating you like a madman

his tongue runs up and down your slit, exploring entirely for his own benefit, noting everything he feels in the folders of his memories. it licks up your cunt in a cupped position, scooping up the slick that was all all for him and savouring the taste of you in his mouth. he groans at the taste, then finally his tongue finds your clit and he knows its time to put all his time spent imagining this moment to use

he flicks up and down your knot of nerves, swirling his tongue around once, twice, three times while you whine before smothering your poor clit with his lips and sucking, causing you to practically wail, your hand flying to his hair as your mind fights between the urge to run away from the feeling and the urge to grind against his face

you cry his name as he pulls off with a satisfying pop, a sick smirk on his face as he licks his lips

“feel good?” he teases but youre beyond the point of embarrassment, entirely fucked out and in desperate need of orgasm. youve needed this far too long to be denied now

“god, yes, please, keep going” immediately he knows that you begging is the hottest thing he will ever hear.

his tongue licks up the seam of your pussy, circling around and around your clit while you keen, arching your back so you press into his face. he ventures his tongue down and up inside you, his nice big nose pressing into your clit deliciously. he’s absolutely ecstatic when you start grinding against him, soaking his face even more as his tongue squirms deeper inside you and his nose nudges your swollen clit.

“Fuck, eds! m-more, please!” he smiles at your manners even while he’s tongue-deep inside you, but obliges, moving up to overstimulate your clit while slowly pressing a finger into you. You whine, your back arching and walls clenching around his prodding finger. he quickly adds another finger, moving them gently but firmly pressing into your sweet spot deep inside you. his fingers being longer than yours slipped your mind until they were massaging your insides.

his tongue flicking and fingers fucking eventually drive you to a high pitched orgasm as your thighs close around his head, your body twitching and clenching around his fingers. he licks you softly and fucks you sweet as you cum for him

once your peak hits and your breathing slows to an exhausted pant he gently pulls his fingers out, licking them clean while making sick eye contact with you. he pulls your pjs & underwear back up for you while you catch your breath.

“..Do you want me to return the favour?” you ask timidly after regaining your composure. He laughs nervously and shakes his head, looking down at your bed

“No need, sugar, im taken care of.” he sits up, cringing as he feels his cum sticking to him and his pants, warm but slowly cooling. he refuses to unscrunch his eyes, anticipating laughing and teasing

“fuck thats so hot”

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x y/n #stranger things #eddie the freak munson #eddie munson x you #eddie munson blurb #stranger things fic #eddie munson stranger things #eddie munson x female reader

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changbinsboobs · 11 days ago

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id also like to know changbins opinions or thoughts on idols who have lazy scandals ie: they might be more hard working for their own solo projects but in their group they look like they dont even want to be there or arent always putting in enough efforts cause these days they can kinda half ass it if they want too with the whole lipsynching debacles that occur so yh id love to know his thoughts on these sorts of topics cause hes been an idol for so long he must have many feelings bottled up

cause i think hes one of the hard working ones who always want to improve or maybe do something entirely different with the groups direction cause i think skz have a habit of always playing safe and going with whats familiar to them and their fans how does he feel about skz direction and what more does he want to add or do in the near future or does he see himself going into acting and venturing out of the idol image or away from the group?

oh and how does he feel about the complexity of idol performances does he want it to slow down or remain the same? does he feel he gets enough freedom or not enough? what else do i want to know from changbin?

U don't know how happy i am to finally see a Changbin request😍😮‍💨 THANK YOU!!!

Changbins thoughts about idols with lazy scandals?

He's thought about that and thinks thats an issue that should be observed from multiple perspectives before making a judgement and he thinks a "scandal"/ situation like that has multiple sides to the story and he refrains from making any judgements if he doesn't know the situation himself. Also he thinks thats hardly a scandal and people should revise their (omg his articulation is so specific im cant even keep up, he wants to use words i don't even know, help😭) view of what components make up a scandal (i literary had to go to chatgpt to help me find the right words/expression. Still not satisfied tho, but its better than nothing). If tho it is proven that the idol is lazy performing for solely unprofessional reasons he's not really bothered by it as it doesn't affect him in any way. And if then it has a positive effect on him cuz people who appreciate effort can clearly see the comparison and appreciate his effort even more. He knows he's kept his dignity and pride towards himself and doesn't really care what other people do with themselves.

4oC, The Hermit

How does he feel about skz direction?

He does agree that they stick to whats familiar but he doesn't think thats necessarily a bad thing because that has brought them the success and bag they have today. Which is wonderful! He does wish though, to mix things up every once in a while but i think he wants to talk more about that later on in the reading. He wants to have a bit of darkness and a shocking element to his/their performances and songs, like the sound of the beat, the arrangement and melody, he wants the lyrics to shock and get gasps out of peoples moths. He wants a big reaction out of people that don't even know how to react to what they just heard/saw because its THAT good and THAT different and THAT weird! But more on that later (he keeps saying that and then he keeps on talking😂, i think he's excited)

(Also while he was talking i caught glimpses of his ideas/what he means and i really do hope he gets the opportunity to do something like that either solo or with the group or with other artists but i think we all will need that to come out and will EAT IT UP!!!)

(There's much more hiding in the Card but i feel like if i listen to it all, i'll write this post until tomorrow and won't even come to the rest so for now I'll leave it at that and see what more he has to add in the next questions.)

4oP, WOF, AoS

What does he want to do in the future?

He is actually thinking about it even now in the presence. He's evaluating multiple options and thinking about which one suits him best and will bring him most fulfillment. His focus is for it to bring him inspiration. Meaning he wants to be passionate and burn for his craft, he wants to go inspired to work every day and do something useful and meaningful. He also wants to be authentic, to be himself, to be free and have power in himself. Like have authority over himself? He can choose what he does, how he does it, etc.

2oW, 7oC, THP, PoS

His feelings on the complexity of idol performances

That they take lots of effort and skill. This also means u have to have discipline, u have to invest time, blood, sweat, tears even more, into it. You have to burn for the stage, and when you do you get rewarded. The stage rewards you. The screams rewards you. The praise rewards you. You feel loved and you feel like you did well. You grow and your confidence grows. I don't think he wants performances to get easier, he likes a got challenge and he like a good opportunity to prove himself and his abundant abilities.

The Chariot

Is he satisfied with the amount of freedom he has?

"What freedom?" Ugh😅 i was hoping for something more positive. But to be fair, he explains that even tho he doesn't have freedom he'd like to have thats what "pays the bills" for now - and i actually feel like a more accurate expression would be - serves the wine - cuz the money they get ain't just for bills its for buying cars and purchasing mansions. (I think he's someone that really appreciates money, idk how to explain it but i don't see a shame or something in him abut money like there is with lots of people, for example he has mentioned money several times in the entire reading, he's not focused on it tho, like its not all there is in his mind, but he also doesn't completely shut its existence or importance in certain matters and just makes sure to involve it as it is - a main piece of the picture). Back to the reading - he has much more to show, to offer, to create but the boundaries he finds himself within don't allow him to. I feel like mostly the beautiful and the light and the vanilla is allowed. Only thats approved. And i think he has tried to push (expand is a word he likes the sound more of🌝) the boundaries a bit but he was almost always met with a decline and until now things have been always kept in a pretty aesthetic package. So i wouldn't say he lacks complete freedom like he said in the beginning, he does have certain boundaries within he has freedom of creation but those boundaries have become way too small a long time ago and have begun to even feel suffocating, to the point he often loses his inspiration or desire to work on pieces or projects - as I've read in previous readings. But nonetheless - it pays WELL🌝

Death, 9oP, The World

Anything else he wants to add?

Yes!!! Stay tuned for my boys upcoming projects and look forward to him in the future he's gonna bring something new and fresh to the table and feed the innovation & diversity-starved!!! Basically - i believe he's already making place for something in the future, probably a solo or mixtape or something where he'll blow out mind. I suppose with their new contracts maybe he has negotiated more freedom to himself and his creative endeavors and is excited about the new creational power he now has/will soon have and what he'll do with it.

8oW, The Magician, 5oP, The Emperor

Also a quick disclaimer - the reading became more a channeled reading than a tarot reading so i hope it was still understandable and coherent.

#tarot reading #skz #stray kids #kpop tarot #skz tarot #seo changbin

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cwarscars · 7 months ago

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han what if i told you to write some positivity for a follower of your choice 👀 do it do it do it

Send me a url and I'll write some positivity for it.

id tell u this -

NOT BUT REALLY -

im gonna choose you because 1 - i am simple brained. literally have like one brain cell that is torn between food, sleeping and gaming. i am very stupid so LOGICALLY, its easy to choose ur URL cause ur here before me, presented like a beautiful turkey. NUmber 2 - I WANNA TALK ABOUT YOU, MOOGS SO I AM GOING TO. >:)

MOOGLE. another og of the remake fandom; another - as i like to say - 'legend'.

literally, your love, appreciation, passion, spirit and just fuckin general FEEL for roche has always, ALWAYS been something ive loved and admired. i feel that your passion for roche is similar to my weird obsession with heid - but it's so much more articulate / well-rounded / thought out. you have this way with roche, like, you adopted him back then as your bab (unloved by the fandom but adored by you) and i just love that so goddamn much. your analysis of his character and headcanons are something i absolutely cannot get enough of. when i saw him in game, i found myself thinking 'i wonder what moogle thinks of this choice, or that choice-' i saw certain things and desperately wanted to message you but didn't wanna spoil you so i laid of. HELL a part of me was close to grabbing shots of the keyring (you know the one lol) just to send you cause i saw it and literally said 'moogle would love that shit'.

it's just so heart-warming to me to see somebody have a passion for a character others 'don't like'. a lot of characters get an unfair rap from people, be they og fans w/no time for those characters or remake fans who just want to shit on any character they dont like (srsly the chadley hate actually makes me fuckin twitch). despite it, you power on. you love this character unapologetically, you're passion overrides any losers dislike for the character. that gets a big fuckin high five from me

AND in terms of writing - your writing is just so magical. you write professionally and a lot of the time when replying to you, i find myself taking a minute to take in what you've read and savour it - you know like homies do with a fine glass of wine? its like that. im huffing that writing and swirling it round my glass like, 'gosh DARN the good cush-'. you're so insanely talented, and your art, too! everytime i see it, im like snorting it up. you got that oldschool anime style that makes my brain vibrate inside of my SKULL.

moogle, i could honestly shout to the heavens about how rad you are as a person / writer / roleplayer. i adore your passion, adore your energy and i like that im moots with someone here who has the same wild-brained approach i do (lol), its nice to feel comfortable with another writer and always have your support / general presence on my dash cause your vibes so good ( your swag too strong, theyll kill u). just yeah, Ima stop writing now but for real - you're fuckin cool.

#(answered)#i gotchhu homedog #(foreversave)#(positivity)#(queued)

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shirajellyfish · 7 months ago

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hello, I'm back because i've read more (chap 83, meet reed), and now I'm really missing being able to comment! cause on certain chapters I want to point out certain cool things but I cant! and I don't want to keep sending asks so I am just going to dump as much into an ask as I can!

First off, this has become one of my favorite fics of all time, I especially love how you write the animatronics! you acknowledge that they aren't human, theyre robots, but still give them complex personalities and shit, it's like what sun said a few chapters ago i think, pointing out the middle option. its so very cool.

second, youve made care for Sundrop and Lune more than any other daycare attendant-centric fic has. ever. sometimes I think about certain things about them and I feel big sad. good job. makes my heart shatter again and again and again again again

third, FREDDY FAZBEAR!!!!?!😲😵😲😧(I have nothing else to say, cant articulate my thoughts about this)

fourth, sad to reed leave so early(I knew it was too good to be true), but I'm wondering. did moon know the "Bonnie shit" would freak him out? was it on purpose or by accident? (you dont have to answer this part if its revealed later in the fic)

oh I sent one ask to not be annoying but its so big now. and I might send another when I read more. I hope you don't mind

I'm late here, so guest comments have returned by now, but! You left me a lovely comment and deserve a response! Thank you so much for the wonderful comment <3

Thank you so much!! I really appreciate your kind words. The idea of something that is not human but is still a person was one of my big goals for the fic, and one of my main motivators for writing it. It was very much a "write what you want to see" moment. After reading a bajillion amazing fics, I found that not many focused on that aspect (all of them were very good, that just wasn't what they were going for.) So I decided I'd write it myself :)

Ahhh the persistent "oh no I remembered something" sadness. I am rubbing my evil little raccoon hands with glee to have inflicted it upon you, after so many fics have inflicted it upon me haha. I hope the fic can bring you some persistent joy, too.

I can't go into tooo much detail right out in the open because spoiler to those who haven't read, but! Lune did not know. It was not purposeful at all.

I very much don't mind, thank you so much for all your fun thoughts! I really appreciate it!

#ask #spoiler

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the-kipsabian · 9 months ago

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you're genuinely a great writer, and you've improved a lot since i've been following you. you're really very talented! you get low engagement because you write for a rarepair, in an already not-so-big fanbase. the whole thing with fanfiction is that people read about what they know, stories that expand the media that they already like. if you want to write about something you're passionate about: continue going the way you are. you're improving, and learning, and getting experience. if you want engagement, write for a popular fandom. you have to choose your path. i understand it's frustrating, but not even the most skilled, perfectly articulate and endlessly evocative writer can get engagement in a tiny fandom. 's just how this works, man. it sucks.

like see. i totally understand this. trust me this isnt my first rodeo with stuff like this, unfortunately

the thing thats mostly frustrating to me is that the interactions have stopped almost entirely. that they used to be there once. yeah most notes in any of my posts are still my own reblogs, but there used to be actual interactions there. there were tags in reblogs. there were reblogs and likes. now theres barely anything when i do share something

like yes i get it, this is a very small rarepair in a niche fandom, and im not expecting a lot. im expecting the bare minimum above nothing. and for the most part there isnt anything there anymore. i know theres a lot of reasons for this, and im not blaming anyone or whatever, i dont want it to sound like that - i just want to be seen and i dont think that should be too much to ask even in the case of a small rarepair in a niche fandom

that being said, yeah no im not changing anything im doing. this is where my passion and my heart is and this is what i enjoy doing and what makes me happy. i never wanted to be "popular"; again, i just wanted to be seen. and seeing the curve of interactions going down from the previously already small numbers just makes me sad. ive thankfully gotten into the mindset of wanting to really only write for myself and one other person who i know genuinely likes my work, and thats good enough for me. which i guess is contradictory to what ive been saying, but i think despite that im allowed to be a little sad about this whole thing. i think every artist just wants to be seen and heard at times, no matter what

anyways, i appreciate you nonnie. im just sad cause the amount of energy it takes to put something out there and then not getting anything back, when im already hanging by a thread at almost all times so its very taxing. so like. i dont know

#sorry this is a thing i complain at all times. like said im just sad and just want to be seen. for my efforts no matter how small #anyways. im gonna edit another thing. thanks anon 💜#anonymous #thank you for asking! <3

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absolutepokemontrash · 3 years ago

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You don't need to write this if you dont want too because it's up to you but this is something wholsome

WHAT IF L!MC M!M & BBY A!MC BECOME BABIES AND THERE EVEONES HAS TO CARE FOR THEM,

I apologize for having such horrible writing and grammer. I never payed attention in school, nor could I afford to pay attention 👉😎👉

Bro I feel you on the not paying attention in school thing. Fear not, dearest asker, ask for demon babies, and since I am a merciful writer, you shall receive.

Oh Shit, Half-Demon Babies are Running Amok Send Diapers and Help-

Mini summary for the casual reader, L!MC is Lucifer’s half demon child who got summoned into the Devildom to be one of the human exchange students, M!MC is Mammon’s half demon kid, and A!MC is Asmo’s. Let’s get to the fic!

Ah, what a relaxing day... Lucifer was sitting back in his desk chair, enjoying a nice glass of Demonus and listening to one of his favourite cursed vinyls. He had done a damn good job on his work earlier and Diavolo had insisted there was no more work to be done and he could have the weekend all to himself.

Of course, his brothers were still a factor that could have ruined his me-time... on any other weekend! Satan had just gotten a new encyclopedia to read, so he wouldn’t be causing any trouble, Beel and Belphie were going to take that Devildom food tour, Mammon and M!MC were planning on spending the entire weekend shopping, Asmo and A!MC were going up to the human world on Saturday and staying until Sunday, and Levi... He got a sudden burst of inspiration for his Animal Crossing Island and most likely wouldn’t be leaving his room for the next month. Lastly, L!MC wouldn’t be causing any problems, his child would probably spend their time with him rambling about musicals or anime they had seen, and Lucifer found their intense interest very adorable.

Ah... peace and quiet...

...

...why did Lucifer hear crying?

There, standing in the entrance hall of the House of Lamentation, was Solomon, holding three screaming babies.

What, and I cannot stress this enough, THE HELL?!

“Ah, Lucifer,” Solomon attempted to wave hello, but needing to continue to bounce one of the babies on his hip kind of hindered the gesture, not that Lucifer wanted a wave at that moment. “I’m sure you have questions.”

After everyone had gathered into the living room, Solomon explained how a spell gone awry had hit L!MC, M!MC, and A!MC with the effect of turning the three into the screaming infants that stood (or... awkwardly sprawled out) in front of them.

On the bright side, the spell only had a timespan of roughly two days, so they wouldn’t be stuck like that forever.

Everyone sat in silence for a few minutes (save for the babies, who were still either crying or incoherently babbling) as they processed that information. Lucifer, ever the flawless older brother and leader, stood up and clapped his hands together once.

“Alright then, everyone cancel your weekend plans, we need to deal with this.”

Lucifer’s dearest little brothers all whined in protest, Satan in particular. “They’re not our kids, why do Belphie, Beel, Levi, and I need to cancel our plans?!”

“Satan,” Lucifer said sternly. “You don’t remember this, but it took six people to take care of one of you. The kids may only be half demons but there are three of them. We need all hands on deck. Besides, if you all want someone to blame, blame Solomon.”

Everyone turned and levelled their practically murderous glared at the sorcerer, who suddenly pulled baby A!MC into his lap and began to rock them back and forth.

“I have never felt more unsafe.” Solomon laughed nervously. “But you wouldn’t kill me while I’m holding my not-child would you?”

Asmo stomped over and snatched A!MC away from Solomon. “I can’t believe you- ACK! A!MC! Stop drooling!”

A!MC had a long trail of drool coming out of their mouth which caused Asmo to shriek and hold A!MC at arms length away. “Stop that! That’s gross, A!MC, you know better.”

The adorable baby continued to babble and drool.

Mammon picked up M!MC, who almost immediately stopped crying upon seeing Mammon’s watch, they began making grab hands at it. “Ah, ya want the watch?”

M!MC squealed in delight as Mammon dangled the watch above them, Mammon was delighted that his little brat still had their expensive taste, even as a baby. “Hey, look at me! I’m doin’ pretty good! Suck it, Asmo!”

As Asmo and Mammon bickered, Lucifer took the time to look at L!MC, they pulled at Lucifer’s tie and hummed to themselves. They were mind numbingly cute despite the screeching they were doing earlier. The sight tugged at the cold spot where Lucifer’s heart should have been, he had missed this part of his child’s life... maybe just that weekend he’d get a chance to-

“Solomon where do you think you’re going?” Lucifer was pulled from his thoughts when he noticed the shifty bastard trying to make his escape. “You’re staying to help manage this nonsense.”

—————

A!MC may have been an absolute ray of sunshine normally, but as a baby, they definitely lived up to the term demon-spawn.

A!MC would scream, cry and pitch a fit if they didn’t get what they wanted immediately, not that they had any way of articulating what they wanted because they were a god damn baby! Asmo and Solomon were at the point where they were just holding stuff out to A!MC to see if it would make them stop crying.

“Come on butterfly, don’t you like this... antique perfume bottle?” Asmo asked, A!MC took one look at it, then burst into flames and started wailing again. “For the love of my father WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!”

Now there were two sobbing messes in the room, and one was on fire. Solomon quickly magically took care of A!MC’s little fire problem (the baby was fiiiiiiine, demon babies light themselves on fire all the time!), picked A!MC up, sat down on Asmo’s bed, and snapped his fingers. Tiny balls of light gently floated into the air around the three, Asmo looked up from his pity party upon hearing A!MC stop their crying.

“See, you still like my magic, even as a baby, right A!MC?” Solomon asked, A!MC looked around in silent wonder, trying to reach up and touch the lights.

“Oh Solomon, this almost makes me forgive you for screwing up my weekend plans...” Asmo sighed in relief, he sat next to Solomon and pulled A!MC into his lap. “Not very colourful though, is it? Let me fix that.”

Asmo smiled as his own magic added streaks of colour, it was like their very own private showing of the northern lights. A!MC had on one of those goofy baby smiles that can make even the grumpiest person smile back.

Solomon and Asmo shaped some of the lights into shapes and animals, Asmo let a pink butterfly land on A!MC’s nose, much to their adorable delight.

“And that one’s a bird, and that one’s a giraffe,”

“That’s an alpaca.”

“Sorry, an alpaca with a weirdly long neck, oh! And a sheep!” Asmo looked down at his lap where A!MC sat and tickled their sides. “Everyone likes sheep!”

He then quickly shaped a ball of light into a scorpion and made it scuttle into A!MC’s lap. “But I have to say, scorpions are the best.”

The fifth born sighed in contentment as their sweet little hellspawn continued to watch the magic show. Never in his life did Asmodeus ever think he’d be this happy holding a baby, usually babies were things he thought should be handled with hazmat suits, but not at that moment. His little butterfly truly did have him wrapped around their finger.

“Asmo, hey, Asmo,” Asmo looked over at Solomon, who had a glowing triangle over one of his eyes. “Would you like to join my secret society?”

“Solomon, you are ruining the moment.”

——————

“C’mon kiddo! Eat your damn food!” Mammon once again tried to shove the spoon into his kid’s mouth with the same result as the 50 previous attempts.

“YUCKY!” M!MC shouted and slapped the spoon away.

“Here,” Beel took the spoon from Mammon. “Maybe it’s yucky like they said.”

Beel ate what was on the spoon, then smiled brightly. “You can really taste the mango!”

“See bud..? Beel likes it.” Mammon gestured at Beel, who was eating the entire jar of baby food as Belphie watched in amusement. He was such an asset to the team. “Beel! They need to eat!”

“Fine, let me try.” Belphie grabbed another spoon, and waved it in M!MC’s face. “Here comes the airplane... whoosh... whoosh...”

M!MC didn’t budge, Belphie knitted his eyebrows and rolled his eyes. “Okay, fine, be that way.”

Levi pushed open the door to the kitchen, and upon seeing the scene before him, immediately turned and tried to leave. “Nope! Food isn’t worth getting spit up all over me-”

Mammon lunged forward, grabbed the back of Levi’s jacket and practically yanked him into the kitchen, he slapped a spoon into his hand and smiled. “C’mon, do a favour for your super great big brother!”

The third born looked at M!MC, who defiantly stared back at him, the baby had the upper hand and the little brat knew it. Babies were so much cuter in anime...

Levi nervously stepped forward and held out the spoon like a weapon. “O-okay M-M-M!MC... you need to eat your food... pls... pls eat.”

M!MC said nothing, they only did what most babies did.

...

They spun their head 90 degrees until the back of their head was all Levi could see.

Everyone in the kitchen stood in complete silence, until Mammon jumped a foot in the air and started screaming bloody murder. “MY BABY!”

He dove forward and scooped M!MC up in his arms, the baby, obviously freaked out by the sudden loud noise, had begun to cry.

“It’s okay! It’s okay! Uh... uh...” Mammon looked around frantically. “Hush little baby don’t say a word... papas gonna buy you a mockingbird. And if that mockingbird don’t sing, papa’s gonna buy you a diamond ring... and if that diamond ring is brass, butitwon’tbebecauseyouroldmanwouldn’tgetcheatedlikethat-”

M!MC spun their head back to its correct position, but their crying sounds were now several octaves lower... It sounded like if someone put a baby in the Darth Vader mask but without the weird breathing sounds...

Mammon looked to Belphie. “I’m blankin’ on nursery rhymes! Ya hafta know some kid songs!”

Belphie, after being put on the spot, suddenly forgot every single nursery rhyme and lullaby any of his brothers had ever sung to him. Oh! A song popped into his head! He could sing that!

“Lizzie Borden took an axe, gave her mother forty whacks, when she saw what she had done, she gave her father forty one-”

“Not that one!” Mammon squeaked, holding M!MC closer to him. M!MC’s voice had returned to normal, the next problem is that they were only speaking in infernal. “Somethin’ else!”

“There was an old lady who swallowed a fly,” Beel began to sing. “I don’t know why she swallowed that fly... I forgot the rest of the song...”

“Dammit... Leviiiiii!” Mammon wheezed, desperately trying to calm the angrily growling M!MC. “Sing! Sing anything!”

“A-anything?” Only one song came to mind. “Uh um... With the doors of heaven and Hell barred, there is no other but the guard, Master of the Hellish Yard...”

Mammon lit up and nodded like Levi had just offered him a million Grimm. “Aw hell yeah! This song!”

He handed M!MC to Beel and began to dance and sing next to Levi, who had really gotten into the song as well!

“With those sins that you've committed, If you pay you'll be acquitted, and your crimes all permitted,” the two paused for dramatic effect before both belting out the best line in the song.

“ONLY ONES WITH CASH DO WELL, WELL AT LEAST IN HELL!”

As Levi and Mammon continued to sing, M!MC became so entranced by the dance, that they stopped their demonic babbling and just watched the second and third born dance and sing the English cover of an old vocaloid song. Belphie and Beel made brief confused eye contact to make sure the other twin was seeing the same thing.

The duo finished the song and took a bow, Beel lightly tapped M!MC’s chubby baby hands together to make it look like they were clapping. It was enough for Mammon and Levi.

“Thank you, thank you,” Mammon said. “We’ll be here forever, next show ain’t free.”

“We should sing The Tailor on Enbizaka next!”

“Levi! No! That song is like... seven minutes long!”

“Hey, morons,” Belphie stuck his thumb at M!MC. “They still haven’t eaten.”

Mammon’s triumphant expression dropped right to the floor. “Ah fuck...”

——————

“Satan, where’s L!MC-” Lucifer looked up at the ceiling of Satan’s room and his jaw dropped. “WHAT ARE THEY DOING UP THERE?!”

“I can’t get them down!” Satan hissed back.

L!MC. L!MC the BABY. They were on the ceiling. They were sitting upside down on the ceiling like it was an average Friday. Lucifer was too old for this shit...

“L!MC.” Lucifer held out his arms, L!MC squinted at him, that’s when Lucifer remembered L!MC was practically blind without their glasses. “L!MC, it’s your father, come here.”

“Don’t you think I’ve tried calling them down like that?!” Satan spat as he quickly ran a hand through his hair.

Lucifer shot a glare at Satan, then Lucifer heard something that nearly made his (lack of) heart stop. Oh no- L!MC was yawning-

L!MC yawned and suddenly detached from the ceiling. Lucifer and Satan both dove forward to catch L!MC, which culminated in one of Satan’s piles of books falling down, but with L!MC safe and sound.

“Damn it.” Satan grumbled as Lucifer shifted to properly hold L!MC. “This is going to take forever to clean...”

“That was clean?” Lucifer raised an eyebrow as L!MC began to fuss slightly.

Satan growled and rolled his eyes. “Yes, it was clean thank you very much. I knew exactly where everything was.”

The cat that unofficially ruled the House of Lamentation pranced into Satan’s room like it didn’t have a care in the world, it began to bat at one of the loose papers that had been scattered around the floor. Detective Toe Beans, you’re an esteemed detective, and technically RAD’s mascot, stop that!

Satan scooped up the cat and began to put the books back in the pile, when Lucifer noticed a familiar, beat-up old book lying near the bottom of the pile.

“Ah, I remember this book,” Lucifer leaned down and picked it up, showing the cover to L!MC, who didn’t seem very interested and continued petting the fur part of Lucifer’s jacket. “It’s good for a bedtime story, right L!MC?”

Lucifer tucked the book under his arm and turned to leave when Satan practically shot upwards. “If you think you can just take that out of my room, you’re completely delusional.”

“Are you seriously going to whine about getting a bedtime story for L!MC?”

“CAT!” L!MC looked over Lucifer’s shoulder and reached for Detective Toe Beans. “CAT!”

“Yes L!MC, cat.” Lucifer whispered to them, then turned back to Satan. “And if I’m remembering correctly, I used to read this to you. Do you really want to deprive poor L!MC of bedtime stories from me?”

“Pff... deprive...” Satan rolled his eyes and huffed. “I’d be saving them. You were the only one who never did any voices for the characters, I was bored to sleep.”

Satan walked forward and swiped the book from Lucifer. “If anyone’s reading L!MC a bedtime story, it should be me. I’m twice the storyteller you’ll ever be.”

Lucifer scoffed. “Ridiculous. We’ll both read L!MC a story and they can tell us who did best when they get back to normal.”

“Fine by me.”

The three (four if you count Bean) were soon seated on the couch in Lucifer’s room. Lucifer took the first story.

Satan listened along and absentmindedly pet Bean, hearing a story he had heard over and over again had managed to bring back memories of a time where he had significantly less control over his wrath. Every night he’d demand a bedtime story or he’d throw a tantrum unlike anything the Devildom had ever seen.

The eldest was always there to swoop in and read Satan a story whenever the little ball of seething rage looked ready to kill the unfortunate brother who told him it was bedtime.

It had gotten to the point that Satan could recite most of the stories in the book completely by heart. He chuckled under his breath as he remembered the time he matter of factly told Lucifer that he’d be reading him the bedtime story that night and proceeded to pretend to read the story of The Hydra and the Pufferfish. He hadn’t actually learned to read, much to Lucifer’s dismay, Satan just memorized what to say and when to turn the pages.

Though, it was apparently impressive enough at the time to warrant a head pat from Lucifer.

The fourth born leaned closer to Lucifer to get a better look at the book’s illustrations. They were always slightly off and strange looking, much like the pictures in the Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark book that L!MC had given Satan for his birthday.

Lucifer abruptly stopped reading.

“Why’d you stop?” Satan looked up at Lucifer, then over at L!MC. Aw... Satan didn’t even get a chance to read...

“Our audience has fallen asleep.” Lucifer stifled a yawn and prepared to close the book, Satan quickly shoved his hand on the page to stop him.

“You started reading,” Satan looked away and grumbled. “So at least finish the story...”

Lucifer smirked and opened the book back up. “If you insist, Satan.”

————————

Yayyyyy! Babies! I’m sure the three get back to normal by Monday... hopefully...

Here’s a link to the song Levi and Mammon are singing!

I hope you all enjoyed! As of the time I’m posting this, the next set of Lessons 1-5 Headcanons will be out tomorrow at 8:30 pm EST.

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legionofpotatoes · 3 years ago

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alright here’s ma thoughts on that flick I mentioned

we hatewatched a*my of the dead because we were CONVINCED “zombies in las vegas” would be an impossible concept to screw up, but in so assuming we obviously invoked a holy wager with the universe and got reminded, once again, that hoping for improvement from someone who’s dependably put out bad art is never a wise choice 😐

but we were honestly kinda roped in by the marketing??? and expected a goofy fast-paced flick with the odd traditional undead metaphor thrown in, framing some sort of relationship drama maybe or hell even nothing at all! we’d have taken pure indulgent storytelling, idk italian job with zombies in las vegas, I don’t know fucking anything but??? whatever this was???? spoilers below for it is time for One Of My Rants

I mean the main reason I really want to write all this and complain. this film here probably has the most unappealing cinematography I have ever experienced in my life and that is saying something. who the fuck signed off on that CONSTANT shallow-ass depth of field that imprisons your eyeline and turns every shot into bokeh paste???? and I mean every shot almost!!!! I promise if you think I am overreacting just throw a dart at the seek bar and watch twenty seconds from wherever it lands. it is horrifying to look at. at least it gave my girlfriend a good visual shorthand for what it’s like when I lose my glasses

why was sean spicer in this movie. did they pay him to be here. was sean spicer paid hollywood money for his scene in this film because fuck everyone who was involved in that decision

the legitimately baffling hints at the extraterrestrial origins of the infection that went absolutely nowhere and had no dramatic or plot-level bearing. we love to see the franchise sprouts fellas

yet another big budget waste of everything hiroyuki sanada has to offer. and bautista too I guess? I like him but man was this an odd career move

what was the crux of his conflict/resolution with his daughter btw. I understand it was rooted in miscommunication over their forms of grief irt mom but uhh… it was all rather clunky and didn’t land for me. I tried I really tried to buy in but something was wrong fundamentally with the groundwork there, it did not click and their catharsis felt unearned. I know there’s massive amounts of tragic baggage being projected there from the author so I’m not slapping any judgment down really;

but again it would be an easy thing to wave off if they just had a vibrant cast of lovable simpletons with good chemistry and the kinetic sense of plotting the trailers promised (and this premise never discounts good drama, either). but instead it was just two and a half (!) hours of meandering into situations the filmmaking instincts had no idea how to flow in and out of

to wit. I know talking about “bad pacing” is associated with armchair bullshit but consider the example of the scene were dieter does an out of nowhere little dance after childishly screaming but then still-killing a zombie, with the film framing this as a micro character triumph, and not a second later the bg soundtrack instantly fades into an orchestral score dramatizing a nearby mcguffin reveal, completely 180 degreeing the tone without a semblance of deft insert shot stitching or even I dont know a fucking jump cut maybe. now imagine this whiplash for 2.5 hrs uninterrupted

I will keep complaining about the length yeah because this was not a story requiring this much real estate to be told. Uhh in my humble and personal opinion, of course

[man sees zombie tiger] “this is crossing the line!” you can in fact write dialogue that is not utter nonsense that falls apart once you drill down its single fickle layer of referential meta winking. what line are you talking about. you have rules in this insane situation you’re in? total nitpick moment I know but it got burned in my brain for some reason. like a microcosm of the mismanaged dramatic instincts paired with weird writing that dots this movie. I am sure the director calls this either satire or genre deconstruction. I am SO sure

tumblr domino meme that goes from “dude getting sucked off while driving” to “entire las vegas literally nuked”

tig notaro is always great to see but once you know she’s been filmed as a separate greenscreen plate months after photography wrapped - cause she had to apparently replace some abusive asshole but that’s a whole other pig not worth fucking - it becomes impossible to unsee her odd detachment from everyone else in the movie lmao. it doesn’t really “ruin” anything on its lonesome but it is hard to unsee

why. was. sean. spicer. in. this. movie

a very simple key ingredient missing from fully turning lip service sympathy for main uruk hai dude into actual empathy that would generate meaningful conflict with hero family would be to spend a bit more time articulating what he internally wanted the most. because he was obviously trying to do something here with pointed agenda. a family, to have kids, build a caste system, save his wife’s head, return to his planet??? all of these could represent the bigger context in his psychology that spurred his vengeance but none of them are dramatically emphasized long enough for you to cheer him on. I’m not asking too much I promise. Articulating interiority of a mute character is pretty doable with deft cinema language, just gotta linger and hold a shot here and there for a few seconds, frame as his POV, donezo. I know this is also one of those like. “who cares” moments but the movie does, very evidently so, in making this guy an actual character. you can kinda piece it together and create a framework of sympathy for him, sure, but then again he ultimately becomes a foil to be killed and not defeated, so. Ehh whatever

quarantine zone stuff was not a wildly childish covid allegory quarantine zone stuff was not a wildly childish covid allegory quarantine zone stuff was n

the rooftop helicopter fakout at the end was such an ass-backwards, manufactured moment of what could be a simple setup/payoff it just pissed me off??? you gain nothing by giving sad dad five seconds of pointless crisis that flips right back to previous status quo ANYWAY, except for a weaksauce waste of runtime, which could be used instead to get inside notaro’s head and actually SHOW the remorse form as she took off, literally maybe even a frown playing on her face as she’s headed for safety right before we cut back to drax and the kid. just a simple-ass, minimal, momentary setup for what is the most basic filmmaking trick of creating macro catharsis moments. Just???? g o d if you can’t even land that shit why are you even doing any of this

that lil run final pam did was very very charming and super choreographed in a way that was the tiiiniest bit overdone

the whole intro with the simul-backstories and posing with family photos was just… oddly motivated. what was the goal? “here’s what we’re fighting for” vignettes? why? it’s not a functional setup in that vein. what was all that

also I am sorry if this is insensitive but the reasons most characters end up articulating to justify going back into the hell that destroyed their lives makes them sound seriously insane

I dont like complaining about CGI (honestly) but so much of it in modern movies can achieve higher fidelity if the animation is simply subdued. Do not overengineer and over-apply 2D cell methodologies and kinematics to each tiny twitch and movement in a hyper 3D model and I promise you. it will look a thousand times more natural. look at thanos in those last two movies. your rendering and detail are absolutely perfect with the tiger you just have to let stuff sit instead of constantly simulating swaying hair strands and firing off all facial muscles at once. great moment at one point where makeup zombie horse and CG zombie tiger are both in one shot together and just by unnecessary amounts of movement alone you can tell who doesn’t belong. again; detail, rendering, compositing, lighting, all picture-perfect; but y’all just gotta let the animation breathe sometimes, and chill it out

plot holes don’t really matter to me but it was kinda funny how lilly decided not to mention the enormous wrinkle in intel pertaining to an actual territorial tribe of intelligent zombies that require human offerings to let you pass, just so that reveal could play out in real time through the joyous punishment of the cartoonishly misogynistic dude

total chad move for mister uruk hai and final pam to rule from a rusted swimming pool complex

the ending with vanderohe oh my god. with the. cash stacks at the airport register. and specifically them working in his favor. that is literally something you do to get arrested under suspicion of theft. it was almost played for laughs and I respect that. coulda been goofier. make these movies goofy ya dorks

anyway, weird, weird movie. bad marketing. message unclear (something something sins of the father???), baffling editing instincts, literal worst-looking cinematography I ever laid eyes upon. Confidently dying on that last hill

#text #long post #aotd spoilers #aotd critical

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maniacalmagician · 4 years ago

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EVERHOOD: Pinocchio in Psychedelic Purgatory: the Rock Opera Adventure. OR: I walked backwards into hell, and felt euphoria as I became privvy to the Divine Truths

Hello tumblr people. I’ve been Away. I played a game recently and I wanted to talk about it. damnit i really wanted to put pictures into this mini essay. ive been away from this garbage site for too long, i dont know how to do it lol. ok anyway First, I want to say to the developers and anyone else that this has quickly become one of my all time favorite games. Currently writing I have personally never felt a greater emotional attachment to an experience with a piece of software. Perhaps it is the extreme idiosyncratic nature of it, perhaps it is the deeply intriguing storyline, mostly however it is a combination of those in addition to some of the most outstanding psychedelic visuals I have ever seen, particularly in the finale sequence, and a killer soundtrack that combines many genres but focuses mostly to being as bangers as possible. I will be upfront and say this game comes with a boatload of trigger warnings, and thus the aforementioned idiosyncratic nature of it may not appeal to everyone, however I feel it necessary to indicate potential content warnings here as I would hate for people to be triggered: epilepsy is the big one, I myself have mild stutter based epilepsy and it didn't cause health problems or anything but my case is not universal. Anyway. That is a hard warning on epilepsy. I do it because The Incredibles 2 did not, lmao (that's an example of the kind of visuals that trigger me personally. An aside ) Other things include (spoilers): arachnophobia, misophonia (screeches, unsettling sounds), themes of death, immortality, suicide. Some game mechanics are not immediately intuitive and puzzles require some pretty clever but sometimes obtuse solutions. Direction is not always super clear either. People have complained of performance issues but I am leaving this review after playing the switch port, which played smoothly other than some awkwardly long loading times here and there. What I have played of PC so far runs smooth but as of writing, performance for me was fine (my pc is a lowend budget build). There is a difficulty to it. Even playing on easier modes, it can be quite unforgiving. If you're a fan of hard games (I am but I suck at them) and rhythm games (this is, uh, Not? That? Almost functions as half walking sim, half rhythm Game, dodgy shoot em up kinda feels. Truly unique gameplay I think. Constantly switches things up, too. But yes I also adore rhythm games, and yes i also do suck at those too.), half of it is that. The devs troll you with puzzles. It's truly a wild experience as it advertises, one of a kind. And yet, however.... This game wears, much like its heart,, its references, on its sleeve. If you are not into that kind of thing, you will probably be annoyed by this game. It also loves to delv into meta, as many puzzles and interactions are references to the UI of the game itself. Personally, I'm not wild about meta but I appreciate the ernestness here, so I'm willing to roll with whatever this game throws at me because every turn feels unexpected, fresh, funky, somber, and wildly intelligent, with boldly sincere ludonarrative choices, script and art direction. If you like Geno from super Mario Brothers, which, guess what, narrator here LOVES Geno from Super Mario Brothers, this is functionally the game you've always wanted that Nintendo could never make because Square has held Geno hostage in some kind of underground torture facility since 1995. Turns out they were rather right to do so, because when that puppet is out serving a higher authroity, he can be quite dangerous. Narrarively it borrows much from its sources but I would argue there's proof the writers have spent time thinking about the implications of their source materials worlds, and that reflection casts itself back to create this, experience that is wholly unique even if we know Red is Geno and "Gaster" (who was based on Uboa from Yume Nikki or princess mononokes forest spirits), and some kind of disco Marceline character who changes their identity frequently, skeleton brothers- well undead brothers, really - We have to remember in the creation and consumption of media sometimes, influences and archetypes are ever present and Everhood almost itself is a realm that would indulge in the idea of self referential material. It makes for this very Jungian experience of friendly archetypes we're familiar with, which works well with this setting of an immortal realm. Thats not to say the personalities we do meet aren't expounded upon - they are, heavily, and become uniquely their own. (Spoiler) if my theory is to be believed this world is a purgatory where people have made their own artificial vessels and as time has made them bored (though some seem to be having a good time) while typical strains of the Pinocchio myth are thrown in about questions of identity and death - and probably even more so towards Timothy Learys concept of the Ego Death, or the return to the collective soup of unconcious being. Undertale will probably always be a reccomendation even by its own reference to it so comparisons to it will be littered through here. It feels like the developers were emboldened by Toby Foxs spirit in game development (his creative energy is rather infectious) and shared many similar ideas, but this feels far more aimed towards a maturer audience (references to the things I mentioned in the trigger warning list) and focused on achieving this feeling that its predecesors have as well. Yume nikki. Lisa. Earthbound. Toby's games. super Mario rpg in its humor, Cat Soup in its psychedellic depressive vibes, all this cool indie cult classicy kinda mash up soup. bizarre antics and then these characters who have surprising depth the further you go. It has been 6 years since Undertale came out, and the developers for Everhood have called a lot of the "what ifs" that fans of that game ask, an answer in their own game. (What if No Mercy was forced, for example? What if going against destiny is the wrong thing to do? Why is Death such a Bad Thing? etc!) And the further along you progress, the smarter the story gets, the more complex the narrative threads and characters. This game knows how to write compelling literature and that wasn't an element I expecting but god am I so glad for it. Literally my pea brain saw Red's design flipping around some frets on a streamers videocapture (shoutout to based fellow tampa native Charles White, thank you for being witty and having good taste and your Floridian comisery.) one night and went "oh i like." But the experience I got in exchange was, so, so much more than that (but the tetris effect won't let that image disappear from my eyelids quite yet haha.) I hear there are multiple endings and one requires a 3 hour long trek. I'm not done with the game at the time of reviewing. You bet your sweet ass I am going to find out the Ultimate Truth. I found a way to deal with some of the bullshit in other games, I may not be great at games but I want to see whatever imagery these guys put on screen so it compels me to seek out all the alternative routes. I am going to be following these developers projects very closely. If this is their debut, their next project will be ... ... I would hate to force expectations, like if you just made a magnum opus like this it'd be perfectly alright to retire, but I just once again want to say thank you to the developers for putting your heart on display for the world to see. I see it. I have dealt with struggles similar to the ones in the stories this game articulates about anxiety and depression, existentialism and dread, dissociation and all the heavy themes that were risky to include narratively - I'm certaintly glad you took the risks you did. May update this review as I get further along the story but yeah. Tl;dr: haha pinocchio myth done well make brain go brrr. 9.99999999999998/10. I am taking an infitisimal fraction of a point off because of the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ spider in the monster maze. that thing was abhorrent, but I won't let it deter anyone else who wants to play.

#everhood #audnalysis

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supertransural · 4 years ago

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There was something defective in the blueprints of the universe Chuck created where Cas rebels and TFW wins (aka the main universe we see).

Ok I've thought a lot about this, and I may just be spewing nonsense, dont get me wrong, but it feels like an itch I need to scratch (by writing a long post about a random theory, because that's how we do things in this house).

There's something about how decadent the angels get and how broken the system is in Heaven that just feels wrong. Firstly, remember how Chuck tells Cas in s15 that in every single other universes, he was a good little warrior and "did what he was told"? It may not be the angel in question that has a "crack in his chassis", but the designs of Creation themselves.

Here's the thing, we know doubt was already spreading around in Heaven before Cas rebelled, before he became this legend (wether a good or a bad one, still a legend amongst the feathered assholes) in Heaven. But without Cas fighting (and killing) his own Brethren, without him pushing against the Great Plan for Dean, would those other angels actually have rebelled? Maybe they did in one universe, only to reinstate the old order, with a slight twist, probably simply the leader/god wasn't the same angel as it was before (Michael) (they're not exactly famous for their original thinking). Maybe they backed down after getting sent back to Bible camp. Maybe they were simply killed because subtlety isn't one of their fortes either and the faithful other hundreds (thousands? millions? I'm never sure) of angels found out and eradicated the threat.

Incidentally, from the few clips we get of the other worlds, I seem to remember seeing Cas chasing after Sam and Dean along with other angels, so it really looks as though Heaven wasn't defeated and still righteous and still in full functioning order. The Host was still goin' strong, if you will, unlike in our little universe, where only a few angels remain and the archangels are dead and everything is absolutely going to shit up there.

My point is still fuzzy but I'm getting to it, just give me a few more paragraphs I swear it makes sense. I intend to wrap it all up very neatly once I figure it out.

So as I was saying, in the universes where Lucifer didn't win, but where the Apocalypse didn't happen either (without Cas' help in making sure it didn't, since he "did what he was told") Heaven still did not fall. They didn't scatter like cockroaches, the Host was still there, still chasing after Sam and Dean after at least a decade. Perhaps it suffered some setbacks, a few changes in Management, but it was still Heaven, ya know? Same everlasting goals and same targets.

Which brings me to my second/third example (point? idea? not sure what to call them to be honest): Zachariah the time bender. I know angels are capable of twisting time a bit, traveling through it, provided they have a big enough power generator (several angels working together, an archangel, a very strong will as we see with Cas, you name it), but the stunt Zach pulled by twisting the timeline effectively causing a fork to appear in linear time? That's not just traveling, that's creating. Something an angel doth not do. Zach had a bit of a crack in his chassis as well, from my point of view. Zapping Sam and Dean in a weird universe where they work office jobs? Ok. Zapping Dean in the past to see his mom and dad? Ok. Those are angel-level-of-thinking-and-doing things. Creating a different timeline?? That's what Chuck does (albeit in greater scale) with his different universes. Zach was somehow a): allowed to do it and b): able to do it. How?? And interestingly enough, even in a different timeline, this world still has a failing Host. One that up and left.

Speaking of apocalyptic worlds, let's not forget that even during an ongoing apocalypse, even lead by a deranged Michael, Heaven did not fall either. All the worlds where Lucifer won aren't exactly relevant here, if Heaven was defeated well within the rules of the Big Ol' Plan then that neither proves nor disproves my point. There may even be some worlds where Michael is killed by Lucifer and the Apocalypse begins, but the Devil still doesn't win, wether it be thanks to the Winchesters, or Heaven fighting back and winning in the end, or maybe both.

My point is, this world we see most of the time is Chuck's favorite, the one he was most "hands on" with. It's the one where he writes himself into the story and observes and intervenes sometimes. It's the one where he has to do that. It's the one where Amara is freed and the angels are able to do jackshit about it. It's the one where Heaven falls, it's the one where the holy rules are broken from the get go, it's the one that allowed an angel like Cas to break free, even when Chuck himself wasn't too happy about it. Heaven becomes the ruins of what it once was and loses its power for no reason other than a couple dudes with guns and knives and this one angel whose programming didn't go according to plan. It's the one where Bobby is enough to free souls from their rest by basically knocking on a couple doors, like cmon. A Heaven whose gates are so easily manipulated Metatron manages to close them off and takes over for a little while. One where all the angels fall and lose their wings. It's a Heaven where legions aren't enough to bring back one stubborn, unimportant in the grand scheme of things (or so they thought) angel to the pearly gates. They lose every endeavor they put their minds to, they don't slaughter demons by the dozens, they're lost.

This isn't an A grade Heaven. This is a Heaven that must've had a flaw in the design. Perhaps that's why Chuck found it so interesting, maybe not realizing why. He left one termite in the woodwork, and watched it all crumble, popcorn in his hand, unaware of his slow downfall until it was much too late. Without a malfunctioning Heaven like that one, he'd still be God. Cas wasn't the one with the crack in the chassis, yes he was special, but I like to think he happened to exist in the same universe as that termite, and the dominoes fell accordingly. It's like a butterfly effect, maybe Chuck created this world absentmindedly, no particular idea in mind, got distracted for a millisecond (which could well be an eternity in his case, time is a weird concept) and overlooked one typo in the code, forgot to write one little detail in small letters at the bottom of the contract, didn't add the teaspoon of baking powder sitting next to him to his batter, and the world exploded majestically in his face. Maybe he wanted to make this one more interesting, and corrected a sequence but forgot to change the initial layout of the program, maybe he lengthened his sentence but forgot to add punctuation or forgot to remove a capital letter, maybe he added a clause in the contract that created a loophole, who knows? It still had the same result. Him losing his powers, and probably dying in a ditch somewhere.

Seeing as this theory already didn't make much sense in my head, I hope I've at least articulated it well enough to make it comprehensible, and that the last point clears off whatever confused cobwebs had been accumulating in your mind after each sentence.

#spn theory #spn meta #spn #supernatural

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bepoets · 4 years ago

Text

Review for Trish’s Dream Fic

Trish ( @couragedontdesertme ) said she’d write an epilogue of the elsarik dream Fic if I made a Formal Review of the elsarik dream fic. So here we are.

Please note review should be taken VERY LIGHTLY this is more or less me re-reading the Fic and loudly yelling about things with too many exclamation points. Enjoy Trish.

Ch1

First of all imagine my fucking surprise I didn’t even know you had gotten work done on the dream fic???? Here I was thinking the link you sent me was the next chapter of city of ice and then I click on it and it saYS DREAM FIC???? E X C U S E M E oh my goodness

The first section is just so entirely domestic and beautiful and you can tell how lived in and content they are in their life as roommates. ALARIK (listen my phone autocorrects ALARIK to be in all caps and I’m too lazy to fix it so y’all are gonna have to deal with reading ALARIK’s name as if I’m yelling it every time I type it) anyway ALARIK just bringing her the chocolate croissants she loves so dearly and Elsa curling up with a book and him fretting and worrying over her being there alone all day and later... it’s just SO DOMESTIC. it’s such a small short moment but it’s so domestic and a perfect opposite of the PAIN THAT HAPPENS AFTER!!! And we al know I LOVE READING PAIN

The fact that ALARIK was only home late because he was doing tutoring to earn more money to by Elsa A PRESENT????? Shut up no one speak to me that’s true love but also PAINFUL the guilt he must feel oh my god

Elsa...stops struggling... because she doesn’t want ,,,, ALARIK ,,,, to get hurt. Because she cares for his safety more than her own because he has protected her and he is her friend and she loves him I am going to SCREAM

The fact that you use the phrase ~marching her out of the warmth of the room~ when she just used her magic to like cover the walls in frost makes my Heart burst cause idk if it was intentional or not but I just love the thought that this room has become Home to her it’s become safe and beautiful and lovely and WARM because it is full of love and friendship and companionship rather than the cold loneliness of say her ice palace of her locked room as a child. I like to think Elsa could have covered the room entirely in ice and snow and frost and it would still feel warm to her because of the love that’s developed there thank you for coming to my tedtalk

Ugh fuck hans

I have literally no words other than fuck hans for any section with hans in it I DONT even want to RECOGNIZE THAT HE EXISTS !!! Making Elsa feel like she’s nothing I am going to punch him in the eye

~ALARIK weeps over smushed chocolate croissant. End scene~

I know that it’s such a heartbreaking sad ending for that first chapter but also I really can’t stop laughing about him crying over a stepped on croissant since I know that your like planning note for that last scene was literally just some variant of ALARIK cried over a smushed croissant and that’s just such a funny IMAGE TO ME EVEN THOUGH ITS SAD

I just like to imagine ALARIK cradling the chocolate croissant in his arms like a bébé as he sobs

Ch2

I’m fucking S A D

ALARIK having like NO MONEY and just thinking about that the money he has was going to go to a gift for Elsa and the guard LAUGHING AT HIM LIKE THATS IT THATS ALL YOU HAVE?? Like shut UP HES TRYING TO SAVE HIS BELOVED

P e t t y c h a n g e HE IS TRYING MR GUARD I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW HE WORKED EXTRA TO GET THAT MONEY

ALARIK is so fucking DEVOTED I’m going to run through a goddamn wall I cannot cope. Willing to sell the clothes off his back have you ever seen an idiot more iN LOVE

ALARIK just going willingly cause he has no fight left in him and he just wants to see Elsa even if it means he gets imprisoned too oh my GOD

THE SCENE ITS THE SCENE!!!!!!!!!

STRAIGHT FROM TRISH’S SUBCONSCIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT STARTED IT ALL!!!!!!!!!!

ALARIK wanting to hold her hands when her hands are what are chained up and seen as dangerous and what ~make her a witch~ the absolute love and power that holds.

LET ALARIK AND ELSA HOLD HANDS

“I promised to keep you safe” the pain I feel oh mY GOD

“They’ll KILL you” they’re really out here trying to protect each other at all costs oh my god nothing matters more to the other than keeping the other safe and for that I want to cry and love them and also I want to ram their heads into the wall because wHY WONT THEY JUST PROTECT ESCH OTHER TOGETHER

The PARALLEL OH MY FUCKING GOD

the P A R A L L E L of ALARIK stilling and no longer struggling when the guards threaten Elsa’s death in the same way that Elsa stilled and stopped struggling when they threatened ALARIK’s death oh my god that broke me right there

U g h hans fuck that guy

A N N A !!!!!!!!

When I first read this,,, I DONT know why??? But for some reason??? I didn’t think Anna would be in it???? Which like thinking back on that it makes no sense of COURSE Anna would be in the FIC why would I ever think otherwise. But anyway I was so surprised when she showed up I literally gasped and went ANNA??? Out loud because I was so shocked

ALFAFA GERANIUM

ALARIK really is just so bad under pressure who thought this was a good idea

AG FOR SHORT wink wink nudge nudge cough cough

I’ll be thinking about ALARIK shouting alfafa geranium on my death bed let us never forget

“No harm, no foul” is literally the most fucking Anna line I’ve ever heard. She absolutely would say that to someone who was being question for a crime she’d be like “it’s not biggy”

Why is it that when hans says “BUT ANNA!!!” I hear it like he’s wining like a petulant child I read it like “bUT annNNAAAAA” ugh I hate him

“Don’t scream” *ALARIK’s inner monologue* “this ,, is the story of how I died”

ILL HELP YOU HELP HER ESCAPE!!!!! HELL YEA YOU WILL ANNA HELL YEA YOU WILL

Ch3

My dumbass really went “why are none of the children named neta” before remembering that is the child of Anna and Kristoff and these...are the children of Anna ,,, and .... ugh please don’t make me say his name

I would die for these kids though I love them and I want to protect them at all costs

Johannes at 5 (and a half!!!!) being a fine soldier GOOD FOR HIM

Isak owns my entire heart from the moment he started fake crying for his mother what a star performer a true Actor he’s too good

Arendellian Royal Guards, are they guards? Or are they simply baby sitters? The world may never know

JOAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! One of the babies being named JOAN!!! Hang in there Joan!!!!!!!!! That made me cry oh my god J O A N

Bébé Isak lookout supreme with his big eyeballs and smile and goofy lil salute I love him

The fact that Elsa says she felt stupid for being lured into a false sense of security means she felt secure and safe for literally the first time since she was a child when she was with ALARIK and I cannot properly articulate how much that made me cry I love that so much that has to mean sO MUCH TO HER oh my god

“You have to get out!! Do the magic!!” NO ONE SPEAK TO ME ABOUT ANYTHING EXCEPT THIS LINE FOR THE NEXT SEVERAL MONTHS I LITERALLY WEPT

the use of DO THE MAGIC oh my god AND ELSAS HEART LIKE BREAKING BECAUSE SHE FEELS LIKE SHE CANT

DO ! THE ! MAGIC !

Brave little boy with his mother’s determination saying “be brave. That’s what mama said to tell you” oh my GOD THESE CHILDREN HAVE MY WHOLE HEART OH MY GOD

A rooster crow for the signal COUKD they be more obvious I love these kids they’re ridiculous they are truly the children of Anna

Elsa!!! Chose!! To be!!! Brave!!!

IF SHE TRIED TO SAY GOODBYE TO ELSA!!! SHE MAY NEVER LET GO!!!

SHE HAD NO WHERE TO GO!!! BUT SHE DOES BEVAUSE THERES ALARIK WAITING FOR HER BECAUSE GUESS WHAT

ALARIK IS HER HOME !!!!! HE IS HER HOME !!!! SHE CAN GO TO HIM!!!!

Queue another one of my shocked and delightfully surprised screams as I shouted KRISTOFF????? Because blonde dude driving a reindeer cart

Let’s get you somewhere safe I’m going to cry THEYRE finally together again and they can keep each other safe together as. They. Should.

They are cuddling and my heart is exploding oh my god ALARIK seems so surprised like you big dumb idiot you’re both in love with each other it’s a mutual thing get with the program

SLEEP ELSA! ITS GOING TO BE OKAY! AND FOR THE FIRST TIME IN PROBABLY FOREVER! IT WILL BE!

Ch4

*queue another gasp* there’s only one bed?????

Yea I saw it coming yea I was just as shocked even so yea I got very excited about it wHAT DID YOU EXPECT

They’re cUDDLING and he went to move away and she DOESNT WANT HIM TO they could’ve been sharing a bed THIS WHOLE TIME AND I JUST WANT TO SCREAM BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY

ALARIK laying all the credit on kristoff and the kids when he’s kind of the one that steamrolled the whole plan into happening because he’s the one who showed up ALARIK please give yourself more credit

“You came back” “of course I came back... I couldnt ...” “why?” And then ALARIK refusing to meet her eyes has me absolutely weeping this is the kind of shit I THRIVE ON this is truly a gift to us all everyone say thank you Trish for these three bits of dialogue I will be thinking about them for all my days

ELSA KISSED HIM!!!!!!!!!

Yeah I do lose my shit anytime Elsa is the one to make the first move you go girl you go

THE SPICE VENDOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bringing in all my favorites I am going to cry thank you Trish I love Darius

I SUPPOSE YOU TWO HAVE FINALLY GOTTEN MARRIED

listen I SCREAMED WHEN HE SAID THAT I SQUAWKED!!!! MARRIED!!!!!!

I had been observing you two and just assumed!!!!! You would assume right mr spice vendor sir if they WERENT so stupid for so long it’s okay we understand

WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE ??? And Elsa says MARRY US? And ALARIK is going to PASS THE FUCK OUT

He literally got to finally kiss the woman he’s in love with for the first time last night and now they’re getting married poor boy is going to get WHIPLASH from how fast things are progressing but it’s okay im sure he is happy

Elsa’s little vows of just needing each other and keeping each other safe and keeping company and not needing gold or silver ugh TRUE LOVE

And ALARIK hopelessly devoted to her being like I PROMISE

“just you being there no matter what is enough” peak romance true love the devotion the dedication I’m a wreck

LE SMOOCH! LE MARRIAGE! INCREDIBLE I LOVE THEM

~end review~

Okay where is my epilogue please and thank you

#shards of shards #couragedontdesertme #Trish’s fics #shards #shardsverse #elsarik

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drfitzmonster · 5 years ago

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"does grieving the person i am not interfere with accepting the person i am?" god this is the question ive been asking myself. i feel so acutely the pain youre talking about. i started therapy a few months ago and its like been so rough. cause i started feeling again which ik is good long run. but all im feeling is pain. and mourning my trauma. and whats that line between healthy mourning and spiraling into the depression and devastation of it? sometimes i miss the numb but ig that was worse too

also god how can you articulate my exact self so specifically? yeah. everytime someone comments on my appearance, if its my weight or lack of makeup or my clothing choices that dont fit their idea of ‘woman’ i get so mad bc its on purpose. ik its prob not the healthy response but after all my trauma and having my body taken away from me before i had words for it and then yrs later again when i knew exactly what was happening. like this is my only defense. and then im made to feel ashamed for it

and your right. cause it doesnt work. bc at the end of the day nothing we do to change our appearance will stop a monster. bc it was never about us or what we looked like. and thats validating and reassuring. but also devastating and terrifying. and how do you heal from something like that? where do we take back control in a healthy way ya know? ..ahh sorry this is my sad ramble, ignore me im sorry. shoulda just said im sending you a hug (i am if thats ok) instead of expounding in your inbox.

–

hey there friend. you don’t have to apologize for sharing your feelings with me. while it breaks my heart that other people have been through the same kinds of trauma i have, and are hurting, it also does help me feel less alone. we cannot change what happened to us, we’ll never be able to erase that. so i think one of the most important and healing things we can do for ourselves and for each other is reach out and share our experiences with people we trust, and just be there for each other, support each other, even if it’s just to listen or say “i understand how you feel.”

learning to let yourself feel again is really hard. it’s so overwhelming at first, and so painful and it can be so agonizing. but it gets easier, bit by bit. you start feeling positive things too, you start building connections with people again, or rebuilding connections with people you’ve isolated yourself from. you feel alive, and you even start to feel good sometimes. you start having good moments, happy moments, and sometimes even good days.

but it’s rough and hard work. you started therapy a few months ago, you’re still at the beginning of the recovery process, which is the hardest. i’m really glad you’re seeing a therapist. i’ve been seeing my current therapist for over two years and i would not have been able to make nearly as much progress if it had not been for her help, and the help of my friends and chosen family, and the support of all the kind and caring people i’ve met here and through my writing.

i’m not sure exactly where the line is between healthy mourning and unhealthy obsessing, but mourning is a vital part of the healing process. i think that it may be something your therapist can give you some guidance on, how to grieve in a healthy way that does not interfere with you moving forward in your recovery.

there’s a quote from rilke’s letters to a young poet that had a really big impact on me and how i think about my own trauma recovery:

“If there is anything unhealthy in your reactions, just bear in mind that sickness is the means by which an organism frees itself from what is alien; so one must simply help it to be sick, to have its whole sickness and to break out with it, since that is the way it gets better. In you, dear Mr. Kappus, so much is happening now; you must be patient like someone who is sick, and confident like someone who is recovering; for perhaps you are both. And more: you are also the doctor, who has to watch over himself. But in every sickness there are many days when the doctor can do nothing but wait. And that is what you, insofar as you are your own doctor, must now do, more than anything else.”

we are patients and doctors at the same time, that is, we have to take care of ourselves to facilitate our own healing. sometimes our job is to just make it through the day. to let ourselves feel whatever we are feeling, to accept and acknowledge those feelings, because this is what enables us to let them go, and to move forward. i have learned from experience that fighting our feelings doesn’t work. trying to disallow ourselves from feeling whatever it is that we are feeling only makes things worse. we get stuck in conflict, stuck in the exact feelings we don’t want to be having. it is better to let ourselves feel, even when it is painful, even when it is confusing and unpleasant and upsetting.

try not to worry too much about whether the things you have done to protect yourself are healthy or not. they’ve helped you survive this far, and as you progress in your recovery you will learn new healthy ways to cope with your trauma, and you will let go of some of the coping mechanisms you’ve used in the past. some will always remain, and that’s ok.

i hope this is helpful or reassuring in some way. thank you for sharing your feelings with me i really do appreciate your openness and honesty. i hope you have a good day today and i wish you all the luck with your recovery. 💗💗💗

#Anonymous #trauma tw #trauma recovery

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banesbottombitch · 7 years ago

Note

Headcannons of the bowers gang as single parents?🤔 btw, love your writing!

Fuck it, lets do this. I’ve got so many feelings about this. For disclaimers sake, the boys are 20-25, so college age. This is long.

Henry “You are my Sunshine but you’re also a Pain” Bowers

First of all, he was’t ready. Nothing prepared him to end up alone, with a baby that was his newest and most precious responsibility.

The mothers either DIED, or straight up left the baby in his arms and was like “your problem now” either way, he does not consider adoption.

Called Vic first, actually crying, because how the fuck does he do better for this kid than his dad did for him? He has no idea how to nurture, to care, to help something grow and thrive. He confesses his fears, and Vic gets Belch and the three of them drive to the closest department store, picking out baby shit.

Has no idea how bottles work. Gets the cheapest kind possible, and is so upset when the baby wont drink from them (texture might be off, his dumb ass didnt warm the milk, his dumb ass gave the baby COWS MILK, the list goes on) and screeches in frustration when they leak because, yet again, he got the cheapest fuckers possible

He’d be out of his dads house by this time, probably college age (about 20-25) but he has made a point to not let his dad know of his child’s existence, because lets face it, Butch would wanna see his grandkid (especially if its a boy). So, Henry keeps the information that he’s a new dad on lock down

Calls Mama Huggins weekly for advice, and actively looks at parenting hacks online. He’s trying his best to be a good dad, and would take extra shifts for work to make ends meet. His kid would probably go into daycare sometimes, but he doesnt like leaving them with strangers and just tries to get one of the guys (or Mama Huggins) to take them for a few hours.

Uses his kid as a chick magnet. Goes to parks and hits on the single moms while he helps his toddler roam around. Gets a lot of ass because of this, since he comes off as a very caring dad (he is, surprisingly).

Dresses his baby girl up like bad asses. His daughter wears his old bandanna with her princess outfit (claiming she is a cowgirl princess, because of course she is) or gets a jean vest with decently kid friendly patches on it, and parades her around when he gets the chance. Insanely protective of her, and follows her when she plays at the park and later as she gets older, he makes her text him where she is at all times. Low key helicopter dad. The type of dad to clean a gun in front of her new boyfriend, 11/10.

His son’s hair gets styled into a fohawk daily and he’s encouraged to wear cool printed shirts his uncles (the rest of the gang) get him that have various metal bands on them and stuff. Teaches him sports, and drags him along to baseball games when he can. Was a bit torn when he heard his son was causing trouble in school, but decides that he cant have his kid doing the same shit he did and nips the bullying in the bud. His son got his temper, and it upsets Henry sometimes how easy it is for them to snap at each other once he gets older.

Takes his kid fishing, hiking, rides on motorcycles, ect. Lots of out door activities. His favorite is to take his kid out fishing, because they’re TRAPPED with him and he gets to spend the day with his mini-me, making crappy jokes and teaching them how to do proper techniques, like he always wished his dad would have done with him.

Gets really stern with his kid though. Takes no fucking bullshit from them, and lives the line “because I said so”, expecting his kid to listen. He loves them, he would NEVER raise a hand to them, but he’s not above a sit down and heavy glare if they mouth off to him or act up in public.

Lives his life better to make his kid’s life better. Goes to anger management if he thinks he’s starting to emulate Butch, and he’s explained to his kid why they’re so distant from his family. Doesn’t articulate what Butch has done to him, but makes it a point to focus on the fact that they Do. Not. Talk. To. Butch.

Makes a point to take his kid to school every day. Tells his kid how much he loves them. They do not go a day without a clap on the shoulder and a small little smile that he wears just for them.

Reggie “GET THAT OUT OF YOUR MOUTH RIGHT FUCKIN’ NOW” Huggins

He was a little shocked when he ended up with a baby. Dazed, confused. He just sat there with this bundle, all soft and small, and held them close. He didn’t know what to do, but does anyone when they become a single parent without word?

If his s/o died, he would be heart broken, but pull through for the kid. If his s/o dumped the baby on him and ran, he’d be fucking furious and vow to never let them within arms reach of HIS child.

The best at easing into parenthood. He told his mama that adoption wasn’t an option, and that he was going to take care of the baby. “I can do it,” he told her, “I’m a man, and men take care of their kids.”

Mama Huggins is overjoyed to be a grandma, even if she claims shes a little young to start being called Nannie, but she spoils that baby rotten. Reggie has to fight to keep her from buying the kid so many different outfits, as she goes overboard and buys too many, and they grow out of them before they can even be tried on.

Leaves the kid with his mom to work, which is fine for Mama Huggins, but Reggie feels like he’s ghosting his kid when he does it. So he works harder and advances in his career as much as possible, wanting to get to place where he can maybe get extra days off to be with his kid.

Wakes up early to make them breakfast. Every morning he sits down with them, from infancy till they leave his house (read as, his moms, he never moves out lets be real). He wakes them up gently, or flicks on the lights and heaves a great big “UP AND AT ‘EM, KIDDO!” But its all with love.

Doesnt seem interested in dating for the most part, but ends up meeting someone with kids at some point in time, and is happy to have his kid get a new sibling. He always wanted one himself.

Gives in too easily if his kids misbehave. If they cry, it HURTS him, and he just lets them do as they please. Had to nip this in the bud before they got into school though, because he wasn’t going to deal with a spoiled brat for 12+ years.

Straps his kid into the backseat of the Trans-Am, and has a Dad Bag under the seats for bottles, toys, and general baby shit. Patrick likes playing peek a boo with his kid, and Vic only complains a little bit of he has to feed the baby.

Stops going out with the guys, and is worried that it will dampen his relationship with them It doesnt, they just start coming over to his house and hanging out. Henry was scared to hold the baby at first, but Reggie eased him into it, and now Henry’s the first one to grab the nugget and bounce them on his knee to calm them down.

If he had a daughter, jesus christ. Jesus H Christ. His most precious gem, his princess, the light of his life. He spends free time doing tea parties, letting her “help” him with fixing Amy, and lets her run wild in the neighborhood. She is fierce, she is the wilderness- NO, HONEY, DONT PICK THAT SNAKE UP PLEASE- DROP IT. DROP IT. NO, DONT ARGUE WITH DADDY. DROP IT!

His son would have a very healthy and loving relationship with him. Everything is open for discussion, and he tries to lead his son into a better light than bullying or the like. Lots of sundays are spent in the front yard, tossing around a football while his son asks the craziest, but most wonderful shit he has ever heard. “Dad, whys girls gotta be so.. weird?” “Dad, do you think Luke Skywalker would have been cooler if he was a sith?” “Dad, if we die, do we meet god, or do we gotta wait in line with our guardian angel?” Loves his boy, cherishes him. He can do no wrong.

Goes to every single parent/teacher conference, and puffs up in pride when they praise his kid. Because, of course they’re praising them! He raised them right!

Victor “Pinterest saved my life” Criss

Legit hid the baby from his parents/bros for a good week before he ran out of excuses as to why they hadn’t seen him for days. He’s at a loss of what to do, and considers adoption. He isnt a paternal guy. he thinks, this wont work out.

Already moved out, like, come on. He’s a rich boy, his parents set him up in a nice apartment/condo in Bangor for school.

If his s/o was still alive, he’d have given the baby back to them. This only works if they ghosted town, or are dead. Otherwise, he’d have been like “fuck no”

Finally figures he’ll give fatherhood a shot, and quickly realizes how much he did NOT bargain for.

Reggie turned up to help one day with Vic holding his baby and sobbing back at the baby while it shrieked and squirmed, the poor guy having no idea what to do. Vic was escorted to the bedroom, and given a nap whole Belch attempted to get the baby to sleep.

Buys all the nicest shit the baby could ever need or want. Lots of sleepless nights are spent with him rocking his baby and scanning amazon, thinking that yet another Sophie the Giraffe is exactly what his demon spawn needs to keep from sobbing through the night

Turns to online archives and pinterest for advice, and slowly becomes a better dad. Lots of trial and error, trips to the emergency room from Patrick convincing a half-dead Vic that his baby’s cough is from the baby black plague, and some angry sobbing of his own leads to a decent routine that makes him and his kiddo happy.

Instagrams his kid, because to be fair, he made a gorgeous baby. Sends lots of photos of the kid to the guys, and Patrick uses some of the most unflattering ones as reaction memes, because he is a dick. Vic has laughed at them, despite being furious Patrick would dare to make his baby a meme.

Literally cried when his kid called him “Dada” for the first time. On the floor. Sobbing. He called Reggie and made him come over. Henry and Patrick came around and tried to get the bay to say swears. They got them to say “sheet” which is pretty close to “shit” so they called it a win.

Throws the biggest birthday parties for his kid. Confetti? Everywhere. Cake? Three layers and professionally made. Presents? Out of this world.

Most stylish child of the group’s kids. Sunglasses, designer clothes. That kid dresses better than you do by the time they’re five. They own it too, and flaunt it for the camera, because Vic takes 89,005,467 photos of his child on the daily.

Taught his kid Beastie Boys songs, and there are videos of his kid rapping along to “Intergalactic”. Vic is so proud of his kid.

Friend dad. Has a hard time punishing his kid if they do something wrong, and sometimes makes up for his own mistakes (raising his voice, getting to upset) by giving them gifts. Its not an amazing system, but his kid is humble…ish.

Having a daughter, that boy is her best friend. She can tell him anything, it wont phase him. Willingly talks about boys, clothes, music. Loves to take her to the park and watch her knock the boys down a peg or two. she inherits his sharp tongue, and its scary how fast she goes from 1 to 101. Blunt child, that one.

A boy? Vic’s son is given the coolest shit, there is no need for want with this boy. Probably some awful mix of fuck boy and wanna be rapper, but Vic loves him anyhow. Shows him off to the gang CONSTANTLY, and shows up in almost matching outfits without realizing it. Its cringey, but it could be worse. Teaches him how to throw a punch and encourages him to kick ass if people step up against him.

Puts his kid in after school tutoring, and thinks bonding time is shopping or watching TV together. Fills their schedules with sports, dance, and music. Expects a lot out of them, academically.

Loves his kid, even if they’re being an asshole, not matter what.

Patrick “You’re Demon Spawn and I adore that” Hockstetter

Was not here for this dad shit. Considered chucking the baby into the system, and would have done it too, if his mother had’t made him face the music.

Total “This is what you get for having unprotected sex, Patrick” rant from her. It ended with him being forced with a baby and his mother’s watchful eye on him. Shes not going to have another Avery on her hands.

Hates the baby the first few MONTHS. No love. Nothing there. Lets it cry itself hoarse, barely remembers to feed it, the type to forget an infant in a shopping market. Considers the possibility of it being real, since it came from him in one way or another, and feels a little threatened.

Drops the baby off with his parents 99% of the time. the 1% is when his parents force the baby back with him.

The first time he feels a little something for the kid is after getting them back from his parents and sitting in his apartment, with him screaming at the kid to shut the fuck up, (the baby is sobbing, lets be real) and they just stop. Right then and there, silence.

They lock eyes, and Patrick swears he sees a flash of something behind their little baby eyes, almost as if they are betrayed he’d treat them that way, before they quietly sniffle. And then Patrick Hockstetter, the man, the myth, the self proclaimed Literal Satan, feels guilt for the first time.

He picks them up and calms himself down, bouncing them on his hip and softly talks to them. No hate, no love really, just apathetic words that a baby couldnt understand. He does that for hours, until the baby is sleeping, and even then he keeps going. Pours out every thought he’s ever had to this little version of him, and the next time he puts them in their crib, he does so gently.

Lowering them down and tucking a blanket in around them. He decides they’re worth something to him that day, and everyone in his life see a drastic turn in his reactions towards his child.

Kind of a distant dad, but his kid knows that Patrick is their father and that he, yes, loves them. He’ll still drop his kid off with his parents sometimes on weekends, but as the kid grows up and he starts seeing more and more of himself in them, he’d be more attentive.

Goes on philosophical rants with his kid, and expects them to keep up. Raises his kid to question everything, and they grow up almost just as creepy and weird as him. He’s proud that they’re a little freaky, otherwise he’d be worried they weren’t his.

Patrick wouldn’t do too well with a daughter. He’d make it work, but there would be some issues. He has no idea what common ground to go off from, and would force his daughter to be more tom boyish and enjoy the same shit he does. Wouldn’t care if she was a bully in school, actually encourages it. Hands her cash, shares his weed stash with her once she’s older, and bids her good day. Doesnt see reason to punish her for misbehaving hopes she doesn’t end up dead in a ditch somewhere from her smart mouth. Grades are the least of his concerns. Will kill anyone who hurts his daughter though, and makes good on his threats too.

Patrick thrives with a son. A mini-me, that is almost indistinguishable from himself. Same creepy little smile, same predatory tilt of the shoulders and with eyes that pierce your damn soul. Praises his son to the high heavens, calls the boy a genius, and 100% thinks of him to be the Jesus to his God, if you feel me. The promised one, type of shit. Think of a young Trick from Black Mirror, and thats the kind of son Patrick hopes to have, if not MORE edgy.

Halloween is his favorite holiday as a dad, because he takes his kid out and scares the shit out of other children and teaches them to steal the candy.

The family photo of him and his kid is them out with the gang, with his kid (about 7) wearing his jacket by a bonfire and flipping the camera off, him squatting beside them and doing the same damn thing with the biggest shit eating grin. Ah. Parenting. Patrick’s a natural.

#The Bowers Gang #Hcs #patrick hockstetter #Henry Bowers #victor criss #vic cris #belch huggins #reggie huggins #Single Dads #THIS WAS LOOOOONG #Tbh I wanted to die laughing while writing Belch's #IT 2017 #Vic loves Beastie Boys fight me

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groundramon · 7 years ago

Text

I’m only writing this down here because I have shit to do and cant sit pondering on things for the time being, but:

I’m currently trying to figure out why certain things bother me in Steven Universe and Voltron that are also present in Teen Titans, but I find endearing in Teen Titans.

I’ll start with Voltron because I actually have an answer to that one. Voltron’s tendency to switch between comedy and seriousness at the drop of a dime always bothered me a lot. It’s not as present in the 3rd season because that season is just straight drama (ironic considering Shiro was missing for most of it, and ill get to why thats ironic in a minute) but it is in the other seasons. The best (and by that I mean clearest and also funniest in the contrast) example of this is the Space Mall episode. While everyone else minus Allura and Shiro are fooling around in a mall and doing mostly comedic shit, Shiro is nearly killed by the big bad of the series in a beautiful but pretty dark scene. (And Allura is also off doing something funny and cute, its worth mentioning). This perfectly highlights the tonal differences and what causes these differences - its whether Shiro is in a scene or not. Like I love Shiro, I love Shiro a lot, but...giving all your serious scenes to one character, or worse killing the mood of a scene just by his meer presence, is...bad writing. The only three other characters that have really had any serious backstory or serious moments are Keith, Pidge, and Allura. But I can basically never take a scene with Lance, Hunk, or god forbid Coran seriously. Coran is okay because no show ever develops the Old Crazy Uncle comedy relief character (but i will love this show forever if they do that honestly) but Lance and Hunk? It’s appalling how little development they’ve been given. To be fair it looks like theyre building up to /something/ with Lance, but honestly? That should’ve bubbled over two seasons ago. You establish your characters’ problems and struggles in the first season, not season 4 or later. Sorry not sorry.

But comparing that to Teen Titans, okay. So Voltron’s problem is that instead of its serious moments vs its comedic moments being situational, they’re character driven. They dont treat all their characters equally; they act like they have a cast of comedic characters and then a cast of serious characters. Teen Titans, meanwhile, relies on all of its main characters as a source of humor. Robin gives bad puns, Starfire is the quirky alien, Beast Boy is the Typical Teenage Boy(tm), Cyborg is his slightly chiller and cooler sidekick, and Raven is the emo kid that cant stand the Typical Teenage Boy(tm). And all of its main characters also have a darker side that fits into these comedic topes that they fall into, that makes them overall well-developed characters and fitting for the tone of the show as a whole.

Now onto Teen Titans and Steven Universe. I’m starting to absolutely despite Steven Universe’s filler episodes. Like, sincerely, there are so many episodes in Steven Universe that bore me, the “stupid” episodes especially. So why do I hate SU’s filler episodes but not Teen Titans’? Well first off, I said Teen Titans’ make me laugh, not that I like them. There are a lot of episodes that I didnt even find that funny, I just found myself laughing as a reflex because my brain was stuck in a loop of “what?? what the fuck??? this is borderline kinky” Secondly, the reason I can laugh at Teen Titans’ is 1. because they purposely dont take themselves seriously in those episodes, and 2. because they dont take away from screentime that should have gone to the shit pacing of the serialized story. Control Freak is my favorite (irONICALLY) but I’d prefer to see Slade terrorizing the Teen Titans with his latest plan over another Control Freak episode any day (except yesterday because i watched a lot of depression shit yesterday). Having said that, I dont mind watching Control Freak because (USUALLY) by the time they get to a filler episode, the main plot has hit a stopping point where a filler episode is okay (IE the titans cant do anything about it), or the “filler” episode actually is the plot. Because the Titans stopping Control Freak from robbing a bank IS their job, so it IS the plot, regardless of where Slade is at. But yknow how I mentioned usually? Yeah well, as much as I love Terra herself, I had a LOT of problems with her arc because the writers gave her five (5) episodes and four of those were inherently linked despite there being two filler episodes sandwiched between them. Winner Take All was the one I had the biggest problem with, because she was around for ONE (1) episode before her betrayal and she wasnt even a focus in it? Like really?? You gave yourself a new character to work with and you didnt even explore the possibility of “filler” episodes with her??? And Fractured is a bit more understandable (well, plot progression wise - the episode itself is basically a drug trip) but even then, I feel like...that wasnt really a good place for that episode. I feel like taking out those two filler episodes, and maybe taking out another one or two earlier on and moving her first episode as a Titan up further, and dedicating those episodes to filler episodes involving her would be much better for her overall arc. But I digress, it does it right MOST of the time, where as Steven Universe basically hasn’t done it right since the second season. The problem is that the filler episodes are interrupting the plot, instead of the plot stalling and leaving room for filler episodes. And the moral thing - there’s no fucking moral to Fractured or even Winner Take All, but Steven Universe acts like there’s some kind of moral to episodes like Onion Friend. I dont know, I just feel like the show tries to say “be nice to people who are different!” about a character that really is the embodiment of being MEAN to others who are different. And I dont mean he’s mean to others (he is, but he doesnt discriminate), I mean that he himself is the embodiment of the “weird kids are weird and nobody should like them” kind of trope. Onion isn’t just some quirky child, he feels like a creepy autistic stereotype - and this is coming from someone who isn’t good at picking up on these kinds of things and really hasnt heard much about Onion from anyone else other than “hes annoying”. He puts me very, very off and I know the writers had good intentions, but Onion was very much the wrong character to do with this - or he needs to be more redeemable and less psychopathic. Like you cant say “oh he’s just different and does strange things [implied because hes autistic]!! uwu” and then show him robbing an arcade a few episodes later. You need to commit to how you’re portraying a character. But I feel like Onion could be comparable to like Starfire, since Starfire’s status as an alien is treated both seriously and is generally the source of her jokes, but this already got too long and i dont have time to pinpoint the exact difference right now - but I guess for the time being you could say that “starfire saying weird things because shes a cultural minority, both on earth and in space” is a lot less harmful than “mentally ill people like to rob arcades”

I’m gonna write a more articulated version of this some time but rn I’m not satisfied about how I’ve highlighted the differences between SU and teen titans and like i said i dont have time right now so

#stormy speaks #save #i need this for later

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