#i dont know enough about what i like & who i am

[dear-ao3]

what IS going down with daniel? ive seen a few things about it but nothing that actually explains (i am very much not an f1 person, apart from knowing some names from what you guys post lol)

ah yes. daniel ricciardo's fall from grace.

daniel ricciardo is a driver at vcarb. vcarb is the second team of red bull racing. red bull wins stuff, vcarb is meant to ready drivers to get into the red bull team.

daniel was previously a red bull driver and he was doing well there. he was the number one driver at the team for a few years (meaning he was prioritized over his teammate because he was the "better" or "more successful" driver) and red bull wasnt really winning anything at that time, but they weren't sucking. i think he joined red bull around 2014? was teammates with Sebastian vettel (who had won 4 consecutive championships with red bull fro 2010-2013) for a year until he went to ferrari, then was teammates with daniil kyvat for another year and then i think it was partway through 2016 max verstappen, who was at toro rosso (the old team name for vcarb) got swapped with daniil who was "under performing" (red bull do this a lot) and max became Daniels teammate

at first this was fine. max was really young, like 18 years old really young, and daniel had a few more seasons under his belt. daniel was still the number 1 driver. but max was kind of wild and insane and regarded as a future world champion and after a while he started getting better and better and becoming more of a threat to daniel

i need to stress here that the two of them were friends. like absolutely they were friends. they aparently shared hotel rooms and lived in the same building for awhile. they are very good friends. that was not the problem that they hated eachother.

the problem was that daniel wanted to win a world championship and he couldnt win a world championship if the team decided to prioritize max over him.

this all came to a head in 2018. daniels contract was up at the end of the year. the car was fast but not quite fast enough to win the championship, though they did manage to get a few good wins in that year (namely daniel won in monaco which is a big deal) but they also had some shit moments (max and daniel both crashed into eachother while max (?) was leading the race in baku) and the car had some technical problems, mainly with the engine. the engine was a renault engine (renault was another team on the grid, only so many comapnies or teams make f1 engines so multiple teams use the same engine) and it kept literally exploding. daniel was making it work (he won monaco unable to shift past like 3rd gear) but it was not ideal if you want to win a world championship

red bull was set to change their engine provider for 2019 and they were going to go with honda. but daniel was still unconvinced because honda hadn't done f1 engines before (or recently i dont remember which) and also there was the whole max thing.

everyone was still convinced he was going to resign with red bull. but he didnt. he signed with renault. the team with the bad engines.

renault were no closer a championship winning team than red bull were, they were actually slightly behind red bull in the championship at that point. and this shocked everyone. why did daniel choose this? well he wanted to be a teams number 1 driver and also he liked the project they were working towards and whatever whatever etc. anyway this doesnt pan out. daniel was at renault for 2 years and then signed with mclaren.

which was by all accounts a disaster. mclaren at this point were still a flaming hot disaster. (mclaren prior to mid season last year were a definitively mid field car). his teammate was lando and lando had only 2 years of experience in f1 and was still quite young (20 i think) but lando essentially had a better time driving the car than daniel did. which no one was expecting. daniel did manage to win a race with them though, in monza in 2022. mclarens first win in many many years.

despite that, he was not treated well. it was easy to see. he looked underweight a lot, looked generally miserable and clearly the team didnt really care too much about him. he and lando were friends though, which was good. media tried to pit the two of them against eachother, but they were and still are good friends.

anyway. daniel's contract was supposed to run through 2023. mclaren and daniel supposedly both elected to end it early at the end of 2022 (mclaren signed oscar as a replacement) leaving daniel without a seat and retired

which was not great. daniels a big personality in f1, hes a funny guy, he says out of pocket stuff, hes goofy and whatever else. people like him, hes fun. so this was upsetting to see the spark leave him and then also see him leave the sport.

adding salt to the wound here, max won the championship in 2021 and 2022

so he got a call from Christian horner, the red bull team principal. christian is not a great guy but he likes daniel. he invites daniel back to red bull as a third driver, which basically means he does pr.

now remember the junior red bull team. in 2023 it was called alpha tauri and yuki tsunoda was there along with nyck devries. nyck had had an awful season by mid point and scored no points. christian had daniel do some tests in one of the red bull cars, his numbers were good and promising and what do you know daniel was back on the grid as a driver at alpha tauri. it seemed the plan was to leave him there for the rest of the season then maybe swap him with checo peer, the second driver at red bull, for the following year.

Daniel ended up breaking his hand a few races back at zandvoort and was replaced briefly by liam lawson, who was the red bull and alpa tauri reserve driver. liam lawson did better than anyone expected and managed to get points and also knock max verstappen out of qualifying in his most dominant season ever.

daniel finished out the last 5 races of the year and had a contract with vcarb (name changed again) for 2024.

checo had a rough end to the 2023 season and it was rumored for awhile that they were going to swap daniel and checo at the start of 2024 but this never panned out. most cause it seemed like daniel was not performing as well as they thought he would. there were a few times where everyone thought he was going to get cut and get replaced by liam lawson again who is still on deck. checo also got resigned at red bull for 2025 and despite having a not so great run for awhile is still on the team.

daniel has not been re signed for 2025

the rumors bounce back and forth every week. some weeks people say hes leaving some weeks people say hes getting promoted to red bull. he generally ignores them. but its no secret he wants to go back to red bull to finish his career.

this all came to a head this weekend in singapore.

heading into the weekend there were some heavy rumors that daniel was going to be replaced by liam lawson for the last 6 races because daniel is underperforming. and this was a Strong rumor. so strong in fact that it started to get properly addressed by commentators and announcers.

why would red bull pick now to swap him? not sure. williams did a driver swap a few weeks ago and that has worked in their favor. it would also i guess let them see if liam still has what it takes for 2025. whos to say.

in any case. daniel had a bad qualifying and ended the race in 18/18. however. at the end, they pitted him to get soft tires. (the fastest ones) to potentially get him the fastest lap of the race.

fastest lap of the race gets you one extra championship point if youre in the top 10. and daniel was not in the top 10 but it would take the point away from lando norris, who was winning in his mclaren by almost 30 seconds. lando is behind max in the drivers championship standings by about 50 something points and slowly gaining.

so daniel ricciardo, in what might have been his last ever f1 race, goes balls to the walls in a slightly shit box mid field car, on the second to last lap, and pulls out what is not only the fastest lap, but the track record fastest lap, taking a point away from lando norris, who drives for the team that mistreated him so badly and kicked him out of the sport the first time, all to help max verstappen, his ex teammate and the very reason why he left red bull in the first place, win the championship.

yeah.

anyway, all of the commentators were treating it like it was daniels last race. they asked him what his emotions were getting out of the car and he almost cried in the interview, they showed him a montage of his career, the whole team was waiting for him outside of the hospitality when he got back, he got voted driver of the day by the fans despite being virtually in last place. it seems like hes done and he knows hes done but unfortunately no one can say anything about it yet.

which is unfortunate. as i said everyone likes him. and it was general consensus of everyone announcing this weekend that he deserved a better send off than this weird cut right before the end of the season. for someone who has in fact done so much for red bull, it feels like theyre shooting him in the foot.

[unhinged-waterlilly]

Hello!

Something about @/demigod-jack-hearth

Something I wanna say about this post (with my reblog on it). I wanna give a side of a story. Mine to be exact.

They were one of the first people I talked to outside of rp. They were a close friend. But that fades.

I DONT WANT THEM TAGGED IN THIS I DONT WANT THEM TO KNOW ABOUT THIS. I HAVE THEM BLOCKED. IF THEY LEARN ABOUT THIS, IT IS BECAUSE SOMEONE SEND THIS TO THEM.

Tw: sa, strong language, I'm a little bitch, please please please read at your own risk

When start this by saying Jack worries me. I've seen so many post, rp or otherwise, where they bring up extremely triggering comments...just randomly. This has happened to me too. I don't get bothered by them I've been lucky enough to not deal with most and be comfortable with what I have dealt with. I think he needs professional help. Or to talk to someone that is an adult. This is difficult for some people. But there are free therapy websites out there. I have seen them. I have participated in them. The people on the other line aren't professionals but they are people willing to listen. And adults.

It started with when I saw an rp they had with camp Sky. I can't give screenshots of that but I do have some of confronting them.

Now all good right? Yeah! I thought so too. Untill an anon confronts em.

Posts here and here

Oh...kay? What's wrong about this?

Yeah...

Actively calling out anon

Now mind me I thought they had buried this au deep deep into the ground. Wasn't until I opened Circe's blog that I realised they didn't. I was pissed. I had every reason to be. We have so few stories of male victims as it is and this 'au' was blatantly disrespectful to victims of all genders. I felt really fucking disrespected that's for sure.

Unfortunately I don't confront them. But I do vent.

Now I feel bad for this. Maybe this was dirty laundry I shouldn't have aired out. But I was just so angry I couldn't think properly. I didn't mention Jack in this post, but friends figured it out. I won't say who these friends are for obvious reasons. Also, this is a bit wrong. They thought Odysseus cheated with only Circe, and Calyspo was SA. I got that wrong, and I admit it. I only remembered that when I scrolled up our dm to take a screenshot of it.

Now I wanted to leave that convo because I wasn't in the mood for arguing, and I've learned to give people what they want, which makes em and yourself stop. My fault again.

Things happen. It leads to the apology. Now, obviously, I can't tell if an apology is genuine through a screen, and I am most certainly a pessimist. So, like, I don't think it is. Also, I'm almost certain that most was written by whoever the friend was who 'helped' em.

Sure, people can change, but not enough times do they actually. Just look on the Internet. And real life. A person like Jack, well, they've talked to me enough to know it is most likely not the case. If they were so angry at a piece of good criticism, then I don't have much hope.

Am I an angry person ? Yes. Do I think I have the right to be? Yes. Am I also a logical person? I believe so. The people I've asked think so, too. I don't dislike something for no reason. But I do dislike things. What I do like is reasons for my dislikes. With me so far?

Good. Moving on.

After the apology and after I finally got my thoughts in order, I sent them a message because they tagged me. A lot.

This is what I sent. It's emotional, but in my opinion, it also makes sense. I was mad they lied to me. I was mad they twisted the story so. Fucking. Much. Odysseus isn't a rapist and Circe isn't an innocent flower. That is not what an AU is. What was their reaction to this? Nothing. To me at least.

A mutual friend told me they sent the last half of my messages and told them that they were angry I. Didn't. Thank. Them. For. The. Apology. Take that for what you will.

Now they made another post replying to the first anon who criticized them. I've read it. And when I tell you it is so fulled with self-pity-

I haven't collected my thoughts properly about this so this is bad and more emotion than the above. but this is the basic things behind it.

1) never directly addressing what he did and constantly tell em to read the apology. Don't wanna repeat yourself. How much time is it gonna take out of your day exactly?

2) not acknowledging the fact the male sa victim. At all. They don't say anything about it. No 'my condolences'. No 'I'm so sorry that happened to you' . Not acknowledging how terrible of a thing that is. At all.

3)says they aren't gonna defend themself... and defend themselves

4) have yet to tell us who these people are. Which is just bad cuz there are people out there who are okay with this. If they were IRL friends just say that.

5) it felt just fucking dull

Maybe this isn't right. Maybe you disagree with these points. But do not tell me you disagree with the rest.

I wanna end this by saying I am victim of SA. Did I tell him this? No. Maybe I should've. I don't feel comfortable sharing it. Because remembring fucking hurts. Remembering means crying and opening the lights and either sitting or laying down on my back because I can still. Fucking. Feel. It. And I was nine.

I don't want your pity on this. I don't want you to say sorry. The people you should be saying sorry to are the people who are not believed when this happens. Feel sorry for the people who cannot report this stuff because they don't trust the people who are supposed to protect them. Feel sorry for the people who think it was their fault and they actually wanted it when they didn't. 63% of rape are not reported in females. Only 12% of child rapes are reported.

I can't find a clear fucking statistics on males.

Do you know how difficult it is for males to have any representation at all? How many male victims do you see online? Even Odysseus being regonized as one is recent. Fucking. Stop. This is more than a made up story. It means the world to some people. So this actually happen. It might mean everything. This was taken away from them from so many retellings. And a stupid fucking au.

If you want to talk about SA, wanna make a character out of it, learn about it first.

So I'm not going to forgive and I am definitely not going to forget. You can. If you want. I don't care if you do. But I ask you not to forget. Please.

I am tagging Jack's taglist

@zariahthewitch @thegroovydaughterofhestia @if-chaos-was-a-boy @the-gods-strange-children @silena-daughterofaphrodite @fabulousdaughterofhecate @weakest-son-of-sun @chaos-pers0nified @neoptolemus-achilles-son @bast-the-best26 @goddess-of-bubblegum @hispanic-child-of-hermes @gaygirldoodles @luck-is-crucial @reyna4ever @vicious-daughter-of-zeus @feral-hermes-child @oopsies-i-did-a-thing @unfortunate-daughter-of-hestia @that-girl-cupid @ariathemortal @love-lightning-forethought @emdabitchass @kaiaalwayswins @champion-of-revenge @zoe-aura-of-d3ath @itsyourboyezra @lunar-eklipso-r @pink-koi-lovejoy @that-daughter-of-athena @sleepy-as-a-song @smileyalater @gellyhelio @daughter-ofthe-moontitan @demeters-daughter-is-done @the-smart-and-the-dumb-one @trinket-snatcher @creature-under-ur-bed @burnt-out-bitxhes @cloak-of-ares @heraaaaaaaa @unproblematic-hestia @i-was-never-sane

[heeseungismymanz]

𝑀𝓎 𝒲𝒶𝓎

Synopsis: You and heeseung have been dating for about 3 months now. You both were the most popular people on the entire campus. It was all fine until you two got in a fight because of his ex. But now you have to go your own 𝒲𝒶𝓎.

Mentioning: All of enhypen (heeseungs friendgroup), yunjin lsfm (y/n bestie), yunah illit (heeseungs sister and your bestie), karina aespa (y/n bestie), keeho p1h (y/n ex), yeji itzy ( heeseungs ex ),more..

Pairing: Popular bf!Heeseung x Popular gf!Fem Reader

Taglist: @mitmit01 @mimisxs

Tropes: Loving to Hatred, Lovers to Exes, Friends to Enemies

BOLD = CANT BE TAGGED

Warnings: Cursing,Fighting,love language is pt so will hug,cuddle alot,nothing much,idrk! Tell me if i forgot something!

SFW MINORS ALLOWED!!

°•More under cut•°

"How am i grounded AGAIN and i have a basically broken leg?!" you ask while literally about to cry. Your at your dad's house and all you wanted to do was meet up with your boyfriend. And YOU personally didnt see a problem with it. But your dad did. "아빠는 그냥 친구예요! (dad hes just a friend!)" You yell. The only response he has is "그럼 지금 우리 친구에게 키스하는 건가요? (so we are kissing friends now?)" What was he talking about? Didnt he or like mom kiss their friends on the cheek when they were younger? Well Heeseung isnt just a friend but whats the big deal? You how old like 17? Does he want you to die single or something?. You didnt physically say it but in your mind you said "무슨 일이 있어도 나는 학교에 갈 것이다. (whatever im going to school.)"

Now your walking to school. May i mind you with a sprained ankle (that is NOT breaking your leg but wtv) and all you hear is "she really is weak!" or "ew her personality is giving ugly but her face is giving pretty!" those insults were WEAK to you and were super childish so you just walked by not giving a single fuck. Soon you made it to class. And the first class had to be math. Heeseung and Yeji sitting in a corner laughing ,smiling and just talking. Then your friends sitting in another death-staring them. You take a seat with YOUR friends and Heeseung's friends. "Hey guys!" You say smiling hiding the fact your annoyed seeing Heeseung and his EX together. "Hey ynnie!" Yunjin says first. You smile then use your phone texting Heeseung "Hey can we talk soon after class?" You see the bubble typing to see a new message "Sure.." What does he mean "Sure.." he's supposed to be the kind, loving boyfriend he always had been. Annoyed you decide to talk to Jake because who doesnt like talking to your boyfriends friend? "Hey jakey!!" You say loud enough for Heeseung to hear. "Oh hi yn!" he says smiling back with his big puppy like smile. "Wanna eat lunch together?" You also say really loud to the point Jay and Sunghoon asks "Can we join?!" at the exact same time. "Sure! Id love to eat with all of you. How bout all of us including Yunjin, Karina, and Yunah join and meet at that boba cafe near by!" You say smiling really big at Jake for no absolute reason then looking back to the others. "OOH YES!" Karina says. "Seems like a good plan" Yunah says. "I should invite hee-" Yunah trys to say "Oh no its fine hes with Yeji anyway. Im sure they have plans together for lunch!" You say practically aiming for them to not come while also cutting off Yunah. "Oh true! Plus we havent been all together for a while like this." Sunghoon adds. "Okay ill text the address." You say. "Also i cant go to any parties for like a week so :/" You add on. "What AGAIN?!" Jay asks. "Yeah i got in trouble for sneakin out tryna meet with someone i shouldnt see." Then the teacher walks in Yappa yappa yappa.

Heeseung texts you. "Lets talk now?" he asks. "Sure meet me at my locker." You text back. Honestly your really scared to the point you might even pee or poop your pants. You havent talked to him ever since the fight. So you dont really know what to say. You lowkey zone out for a few minutes til heeseung shows up. "What do you want?" He asks obviously NOT wanting to be there. "Why the fuck are you with Yeji? Am i NOT your girlfriend?" You asked him quite literally deathstaring him. "Listen she's better anyway like why'd you try punching her?" he asks as if he's trying to avoid the question. "Punching? So i started punching now?!" You say kind yelling in the school hallway. "WHY DOES IT MATTER TO YOU?!" He asks still avoiding the question. "Heeseung its my way or hers. Choose." You say literally annoyed to the point you might drop kick him like a kickball. "And what if i choose hers?" He says. "Im done with this fucking bullshit see me out of this relationship. All i was trying to ask was why your flirting with your ex!" You yell. "OH IM FLIRTING NOW?!" He yells back in defense. At this point Sunghoon, Jake, Jay, Karina, and Yunjin found you and Heeseung. You quite literally almost punched him but then Karina, and Jay held you back. Then you black out.

Now your in the nurses office. All you remember was Karina and Jay holding you back. Nothing more nothing less. The nurse walked in. " Yoon Yn im sorry to say this but you have bruises and have a serious head injury that might not heal really fast because you've been hit in the head by Heeseung." That fucking bitch. How'd you even like a man like that? All because you tried Sneakin out tryna meet with someone you shouldnt see.

AN: What an interesting way to end a chapter. Why is heeseung lowkey a bitch in this chapterrrr. Im so sorry i havent been updating but it's because my sports. I literally have volleyball games back to back every week.

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[umblrspectrum]

so like is it specifically planets the solver craves or can it get by with just eating dirt off the ground

[bunnyboy-juice]

NO MORE ASSOCIATING THINGS WITH FEMMES ONLY BECAUSE THEY ARE PINK!HYPERFEM FEMMES ARE GREAT AND I LOVE YOU CAMPY FEMMES WHO EMBODY PINK BUT ALSO JESUS CHRIST CAN YOU GUYS NOT GO MORE THAN ONE DAY W/O TRYING TO SHOEHORN FEMMES INTO BEING ONLY PINK UWU BABIES. I AM FEMME AS IN GRASS AS IN DIRT AS IN TREE BARK AS IN WEEDS SPROUTING THROUGH THE SIDEWALK CEMENT. FEMME AS IN GENDER NONCONFORMITY AS IN FUCK YOU MY FEMININITY IS WHAT *I* SAY IT IS. FEMME AS IN DEPTH AND DARKNESS AND WARMTH AND TERROR. FEMME AS IN CAVES. FEMME AS IN LIGHTNING. FEMME AS IN AN AMALGAMATION OF TRAITS THAT I HAVE DECIDED ARE FEMININE REGARDLESS OF WHAT SOCIETY SAYS. FUCK IS IT THAT HARD TO UNDERSTAND?!???

[starry-bi-sky]

realizing i have. a lot of untapped trauma potential for clone^2 danny because i just Fully Processed Four Months Late the fact that his parents were capturing and torturing ghosts in the basement before he became Phantom. and the fact that he was on house rest for 2 weeks. during that time period. and he wasn't really leaving the house. he could hear their screaming through the floorboards

*points at clone danny* i can give you suuuuuuch a bad time babe ahaha. i've got two untouched years before you meet damian what fucks you up before then

[lost-in-fandoms]

Thought i would be done but...yeah didn't happen. Part one here.

Living with Max is easy.

He doesn't whine when Daniel is taking care of his leg, he doesn't mind sleeping on some blankets on the floor, next to the fireplace, he offers to help around, and best of all he doesn't ask questions.

Well, not exactly. He asks so many questions. Once he gets over his initial bout of shyness and quiet, he asks questions about Daniel's vegetables, about his horse, about the woods, about the traps, about the animals. He offers his own opinions too, telling Daniel he's growing peas in too much shade and that he's cooking his meat for too long. And, much to Daniel's annoyance, he is often right too.

But he doesn't ask questions about Daniel. He doesn't know if it is because Max doesn't care or because he doesn't want to be asked questions back, but he appreciates being spared the trouble of telling him to mind his own business.

They also work surprisingly well together. Max is older than he initially seemed, dirt, hunger and exhaustion making him look younger, and he seems to know a little bit of everything. Even if he doesn't ask, Daniel is a little curious about what path in life brought him to have such a wide mix of knowledge. He seems to know how to move around the woods without scaring the prey, how to skin and cook animals, how to take care of the vegetables (better than Daniel), how to keep himself and the house clean.

It's nice to have a second pair of hands around, even if the pair of hands should sit down more often to let their leg heal. Not that Max ever listened to that.

And he's funny. Daniel hadn't realised how much he missed just sitting around the table after dinner, talking and laughing with someone else. How good it was to wake up and find the fire already stoked and the water pitch already filled. To have someone to say good morning to who would say it back.

Daniel hadn't been thinking of himself as lonely before, he was content with his choice of life, but he can admit that he likes this. He is glad Max decided to stay and he's glad Max seems to be having a good time too, at least from what Daniel could tell.

This is why, when about three weeks after Max's arrival he wakes up in the middle of the night to the sounds of him moving around the house, his first thought isn't Max is leaving, but something is wrong.

"Are you okay?" he asks, voice scratchy with sleep and way too loud in the quiet of the night.

He watches Max flinch, dropping something, before turning around to face Daniel.

"Go back to sleep," he whispers, too shaky to be a good order. There's something different in his voice, and it only takes Daniel's tired brain a few moments to realise that he had heard those notes before, in the woods about three weeks ago. Fear.

Daniel sits up, eyes finally adjusting to the silver darkness of the room, moonlight streaming through the open windows.

"What's wrong?" he asks again, voice lower, matching Max's whisper.

He listens to the sounds coming from outside, thinking that maybe the men Max was running from have come back, but he can't hear anything unusual in the late summer night.

Max is grabbing what he dropped on the floor, stuffing it into a bag that he must have taken from Daniel's things, but the moment, Daniel doesn't even care about the fact that he's very obviously stealing from him.

"Max, what is happening?" He's getting frustrated now, hates not knowing what is going on, worry and irritation growing together.

He stands up, taking a couple of steps towards Max, wanting to see him better, but he stops when Max flinches back.

"I need to leave," he finally says, voice raspy. It's not an explanation, and Daniel suddenly regrets never asking any questions.

"Why? Where?"

He doesn't want Max to leave. The knowledge of that settles like armor on his chest, safe but heavy. Living with Max isn't just easy, it's good. He doesn't want to go back to an empty house, not after the past weeks have been so nice.

"I...I need..." Max shudders, as if in pain, and Daniel's legs ache with the need of walking closer.

"Did something happen?" Did I do something wrong?

Max shakes his head, jerky and sharp. When he exhales, Daniel can hear him bite back a whine.

He doesn't want to scare Max, but he is confused, and he is worried, and he is not going to let him go without an explanation.

He steps between Max and the door.

"You owe me an explanation," he says, hating the way it makes Max stiffen, unwilling to take it back anyway.

"I don't owe you..." Max snaps, before interrupting himself with half a growl. "You haven't told me anything either!"

"That's different. I'm not running away in the middle of the night."

Max takes a step forward, back tense, and Daniel instinctively braces himself, eyes flying towards the table, where his knife always is, but Max doesn't attack him.

He shivers again, hands clenching around the bag and then letting it fall on the ground with a thump, shoulders slumping as all the fight seems to leave him.

"Please, Daniel, I need to leave. It's...it's not safe."

Max looks up, finally meeting Daniel's eyes, and he's suddenly reminded of what the man had said, so many days ago.

He's dangerous. Cursed.

Max's eyes look weird, blue brighter than ever, almost glowing in the moonlight. His face is twisted in pain and there's the glimmer of sweat gathering at his hairline. None of that would worry Daniel, but there's something...different in him. Something other.

Cursed.

The room seems too bright now. The moon is almost full tonight.

Cursed.

Max had said he hadn't killed anyone, but if this is what Daniel is thinking of...

Max closes his eyes, whole body shivering again, his edges almost blurring with it. Or maybe it's not just a trick of the light. Daniel doesn't know what to think anymore.

He doesn't want Max to go. He doesn't want this to happen.

He steps away from the door.

For a moment, they both stand still, looking at each other.

For a moment, Daniel hopes he'll wake up and it will be morning, and Max will be coming in with the last tomatoes from the garden.

Then Max whines, something low and pained, something animal, and bolts.

Daniel doesn't stop him.

He watches as his shadow changes even before he's fully reached the trees.

Then he sits on the doorstep and waits for the sunrise.

[ask2ps]

I love 2p japan

CHINA: 日本さえ恋がしたいということ、考えられないことではないねぇ。(It’s not unthinkable that even Japan would want love, right?)

JAPAN: 闭嘴。(Shut up.)

[hauntingsofhouses]

i know I've mentioned my interpretation of mizu's gender a million times on here but i don't think i ever fully elaborated on it.

so on that note i just wanna ramble about that for a bit. basically, it's my reading of the show that mizu is nonbinary, so let me dig into that.

putting the rest under the cut because it ended up being pretty long lol. also here have a cute mizu pic of her being happy and most at ease with herself, symbolised by her letting her hair down. <3 ok let's proceed.

thus, when i refer to mizu as nonbinary, i am interpreting mizu as a woman, but not ONLY a woman. not strictly a woman. she is also a man. she is also neither of these things, she is something in between, while at the same time she is none of these at all. i've said as much many times, but i just don't want people to think that when i say nonbinary, it inherently means a "third androgynous gender" that essentially turns the gender binary into a gender trinary. not only is that going against what the term nonbinary was crafted for (to go against rigid boxes and categorisation of gender identities), but also, not all nonbinary people fall under that category or definition, and that's definitely not the way i interpret mizu.

okay before i go deeper i'd just like to address some important things. first of all, this post is an analysis of canon, and thus everything i am arguing for is about my own interpretation of the show, and not some baseless projected headcanon i am projecting onto the character. please remember there is a difference between an interpretation (subjective; interpretations will differ from viewer to viewer, but ultimately it is firmly rooted in evidence taken from the source material) VS a headcanon (unrelated and often even contrary to what is presented in canon; opinions wildly differ and they cannot be argued for because there is no canonical evidence to back it up).

ALSO please note that nonbinary is an umbrella term. this means that it applies to a vast range of gender identities. other identities that fall under the nonbinary umbrella include agender, bigender, genderfluid, and so on. however, it's my personal preference to use the term nonbinary as it is, simply because i'm not a fan of microlabels (more power to you if you do like them and find they suit you more though!).

also, before anyone fights me on this, let me clarify further that gender means something different to everyone. it's not your biological sex or physical characteristics. but at the same time, gender is not mere presentation. you can be a trans woman and still present masculine—either because you're closeted and forced to, or because you just want to—and either way, that doesn't take away from your identity as a woman. same goes for trans men. if you're a trans man but you wear skirts and don't bind or don't get top surgery, that doesn't make you any less of a man. because gender non-conformity exists, and does not only apply to cis people! some lesbians are nonbinary and prefer using he/him pronouns while dressing masculinely, but that doesn't mean they're a man, or that they're any less of a lesbian. neither does this mean that they're a cis woman.

the thing about queer identities in general is that, like i said, they mean something different to everyone, because how you identify—regardless of your biological attributes and fashion or pronouns—is an extremely personal experience. so a nonbinary person and a gnc cis woman's experiences might have plenty of overlap, but what distinguishes between the two is up to the individual. there's no set requirements to distinguish you as one or the other, but it's up to you to decide what you identify as, based on what you feel. either way, by simply identifying yourself as anything under the LGBTQ+ umbrella, you are already communicating to the world that you are not what a conservative, cisheteronormative society wants you to be.

which is why i find all this queer infighting on labels to be so ridiculous. because we're all fighting the same fight; the common enemy is a societal structure that divides us into set roles and expectations purely based on our biological parts. that's why biological essentialism in the queer community is a fucking disease. because by arguing that women are inherently weak and fragile and soft and gentle and must be protected from evil ugly men, while men are inherently strong and angry and violent and exploitative of women, these people are advocating for the same fucked up system that marginalises and abuses women as well as effeminate and/or gay men.

anyway. i'm going on a tangent. this was meant to be a blue eye samurai post. so yeah back to that— the point i'm trying to make is that there's no singular way to identify as anything, as everyone's views on gender, especially their own, is specific and personal to the individual.

so with that being said, yes you can definitely interpret mizu as a gnc cis woman and that's a totally valid reading of the text. however, interpreting her as nonbinary or transmasc also doesn't take away from her experiences with misogyny and female oppression, because nonbinary and transmasc folks also experience these things.

me, personally, i view her as nonbinary but not necessarily or not always transmasc because i still believe femininity and womanhood is a very inherent part of who mizu is. for example, from what we've seen, she does not like binding. it does not give her gender euphoria, but is instead very uncomfortable for her both physically and mentally, and represents her suppressing her true self. which is why when she "invites the whole" of herself, she stands completely bare in front of the fire, breasts unbound and hair untied. when she is on the ship heading to a new land in the ending scene, she is no longer hiding her neck and the lack of an adam's apple. we can thus infer that mizu does not have body dysmorphia. she is, in fact, comfortable in her body, and relies on it extremely, because her body is a weapon. instead, what mizu hates about herself is her face—her blue eyes. she hates herself for her hybridised racial identity, hates herself for being a racial Other. hates that she has no home in her homeland. thus it is important to note that these are not queer or feminist themes, but postcolonial ones.*

* and as a tiny aside on this subject, i really do wish more of the fandom discussion would talk about this more. it's just such an essential part to reading her character. like someone who's read homi k bhabha's location of culture and has watched this show, PLEASE talk to me so we can ramble all about how the show is all about home and alienation from community. please. okay anyway—

nevertheless, queer and feminist themes (which are not mutually exclusive by the way!) are still prevalent in her story, though they are not the main issue that she is struggling with. but she does struggle with it to some extent, and we see this especially during her marriage with mikio, where we see her struggle in women's domestic spaces.

on the other hand, though, she finds no trouble or discomfort in being a man or being around other men—even naked ones—and does not seem stifled by living as one, does not seem all that bothered or uncomfortable navigating through men's spaces. contrast this to something like disney's mulan (1998), where we do see mulan struggle in navigating through men's spaces, as she feels uncomfortable being around so many men, always feeling like she doesn't belong and that she's inherently different from them. mizu has no such experiences like this, as her very personality and approach to life is what can be categorised as typically "masculine". she is straightforward and blunt. her first meeting with mikio, she tells him straight to his face that he's old while frowning and raising a brow at him. she approaches problems with her muscles and fists (or swords), rather than with her words or mind. compare this with mulan, who, while well-trained by the end of the movie, still uses her sharp wits rather than brute strength. this is a typically "feminine" approach. it's also the approach akemi relies on throughout the show—through her intelligence and persuasive tongue, she navigates the brothel with ease. mizu, in contrast to someone like mulan and akemi, struggles with womanhood and femininity, and feels detached from it.

thus, in my opinion, mizu is not simply a man, nor is she simply a woman. she is both. man and woman. masculine and feminine. she has to accept both, rather than suppress one or the other. her name means water. fluid.

as a side note, while i do believe mizu is nonbinary, i also primarily use she/her pronouns for her, but this is a personal preference. i find it's easier to use in fanfic (singular they is confusing to write stories with, but again, that's just my feelings on it, and this is coming from someone who uses they/they pronouns). i also lean towards she/her because it's what the creators and all the official promotional copywriting of the show uses. and even though i am a "death to the author" enjoyer, i feel that when interpreting things that are left open-ended, it does help to look at the creators' take on things. also because, in general, being nonbinary simply doesn't necessitate the use of they/them pronouns. nonbinary is not just a third gender. it's about breaking the binary, in any which way, and that's exactly what mizu does, constantly.

also, i'd also like to mention that one of show's head of story even referred to her with the term "nonbinary", rather than simply "androgynous" (see pic below). and it's possible this could be a slip up on his part, in which he believes the terms are interchangeable (they're not btw), but regardless i find it a very interesting word choice, and one that supports my argument.

so anyway yeah that's my incredibly long rambling post.

TL;DR nonbinary mizu rights 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻 congrats if you reached the end of this btw. also ily. unless you're a TERF in which case fuck off. ok i'm done.

[rapidhighway]

gonna vent for a sec but im so tired of this "don't wanna be an inconvenience", people pleasing shit ngl.....do people who do this know that they just come off as really rude and like... it just feels insulting each time

[skrunksthatwunk]

this could be kuwameshi if you guys would like. take my hand and trust me

[puppyeared]

who up seeing their disorder in a fictional character but feel like its not their place to put a name on it

[camzverse]

Nooo cam u dont want to analyze the psychology behind mikes actions in the bite of 83 even though scott didnt put anywhere near your amount of thought into it noo dont do that. freak

[aviyx]

a casual reminder that my starwars reqs are open <3

i dont mind multiple asks either- dont feel like you get one and its done, spam me with ideas i beg 🙏🙏

[todayisafridaynight]

i cant explain it but daigo being subtitled to just be like 'you're making me look like i have no balls' feels so illegal and wrong. hilarious but something's off

[zymstarz]

yeah sure that's how i'll [re]come out