#i dont interpret him as one per se

[cherpiet]

Digital God

i see a lot of people depicting caine as a god , i thought it was neat

also i tried to humanise caine- hope it looks ok :' D

[isaacathom]

i dont post my hornblower readthrough thoughts here as much because theyre usually just 'weird chapter' or 'oh that was cool! i liked that' but i will say im genuinely really enjoying hornblower in the west indies. its fitting, i think, that the series starts and ends, chronologically, with anthologies.

[msbunnat]

I think at one point I saw you draw Ganymede with the water pitcher like his constellation counterpart. So like the other person said he did get turned into a constellation at one point- but i don’t see that as a ‘death’ per se. It’s like how most characters in the Greek myths ere turned into constellations to either honour them or keep them safe. For example Callisto and her son or Orion (all though Zeus also place the scorpion up there with him to not get ‘too comfortable) along with the Pleiades. So I see it more as a cross between being immortalised in a plane that isn’t touching with our idea of immortality and sorta like when you ‘bookmark’ or save your favourites 🤷

I drew him close to water, but this wasent about the constellation at all. The only drawing for now that I can remember I did with aquarius theme is this one:

About the constellation, yes its a way to honor and make people remmeber them. At the same time is not only that... Like the myth about ursa major, where I cant see as a honor but an 'appologie'... So in the end is always about which myth click with you and how you interpret it. We have to remmember that this is really personal and there is no rigth answer. To me, its not a death in any way, but yes a way to transcend as a new beign or they kinda retire from the mortal realm, like, they dont want to participate in the humans stories anymore.

[cassyapper]

one thing i find funny about kakyoin fans is that everyone is absolutely convinced their interpretation of him is THE right one. and i know fans of other characters feel this way to some degree too but like the kakyoin tag is full of people going like “only i get him everyone else can’t read/are blind by bias.” and like i dont say this mockingly or as anything even critical per se cause i absolutely have done the same thing and will probably do it in the future, but it’s just funny to me. i think kakyoin would be happy that his legacy is people being catty to each other and arguing cause he loves those things as well (unless he doesnt in your interpretation)

[noangeleither]

"fixing" the panic attack scene to be more platonic ™

im extremely active on twt and have been noticing a sydcarmy tweet go viral multiple times a week (like w thousands of interactions its crazy), and its really great to see how much people love and see it for this ship. recently carmys panic attack scene went viral again, and naturally, some ppl gave their piece about how we are all dumb for interpreting it as romantic. that sydney represents his love for his job or his duty to the restaurant (*sigh*).

this scene imo, is the most concrete proof of this ship. i can excuse (not really) interpreting every interaction between them thus far as platonic but this scene....i just refuse. this is gonna be a long post, not analyzing the scene per se because i can't possibly say anything that hasn't already been said but more "fixing" the scene to fit the narrative of antis, and i hope in doing so really shows there's no other way to interpret this scene as other than romantic. again its gonna be a long post bc im just ranting and i think i will lose my mind if i dont type this out.

lets go.

so first off i like to think of this scene as an equation/experiment. simply a problem that needs to be solved.

problem/reason of panic = ...we will discuss this...

solution # 1 = claire -> failed

solution # 2 = sydney -> worked.

Problem/Reason

s02e09 opens up with carmy and claire finally consummating their relationship, with an interesting song choice might i add and carmy dissociating, looking sad, or broken (???) after. because many have said carmy pulling memories of sydney from his psyche to calm down have to do with work i always remember that, it really doesnt make any sense?

carmy is clearly having a panic attack due to him not being "fixed" as soon as he made it official with claire. he felt pressure from his family both currently and in the past to date claire because she is amazing and perfect. add mikey also being a part of that crowd, and carmy so desperately trying to connect with him when he cannot, is why i think he looks so despondent after that scene. i truly think he thought he would be a changed person after everything with claire and when that didn't happen he flipped...

we know this is the reason bc his panic attack starts with their sex scene and the lyric "I dont know" from strange currencies by REM.

this isn't to say that he isn't nervous or stressed about the soft open but its clear that he's not having a panic attack about work nor have we ever seen him have a work-related panic attack (correct me if I'm wrong). in s1 he has one or two due to him greiving his brother.

platonic fix: To make it about work I would have added scenes like when Carmy started that stove fire in braciole, his meltdown in review, some scenes of his horrible time at EMP, and him grieving his brother. i think these would represent his fear of failure, falling back into old toxic habits pertaining his career, the fear of fostering a toxic work environment like the ny chef and also the idea of "failing" mikey

but theres a reason why none of this occurs bc its not about his job or the opening of the bear. this is explicitly about his personal and romantic love life.

Solution # 1 : Claire

carmy proceeds to try and calm down by thinking of claire through literal rose-coloured glasses...

the music is distorted, he's thinking of his abusive family, he remembers every one pushing him to date claire bc shes a #goodthing.

again...this is not about his job and wouldnt make sense to think of sydneys place in his work life as a soultion to his clear personal problem....

platonic fix: in the story of carmys love life claire and sydney act as narrative foils. they have been compared and contrasted for all of s2. my platonic fix for this would be making the NY chef this first "solution" of a work-related panic attack. he represents a horrible time in his life but also represents a time when carmy was at the height of his career. when carmy gets locked in the walk in and has his monologue, its alluded to that he will revert back to that mind set in order to not let everyone down.

NY chef abused him for so long, it makes sense that carmys psyche would readily go back to his insults and the time he himself was an isolated 'psycho' bc it yielded results.

nothing is black and white and i DO think sydney represents a healthier approach to the toxic mess that is the culinary world and does represent that for carmy. if the show was invested in that, sydney and the NY chef could be overtly contrasted like sydney and claire have been.

BUT again this isnt about his job and dedication as a chef...thus why he tries to think of claire to solve his personal problem, and it fails.

Solution # 2: Sydney

LMFAOOO.

carmy then in a crazy plot twist starts thinking of his platonic work bestie sydney adamu....the love song dedicated by the show to his relationship with his girlfriend is then made clear highlighting some pretty damning lyrics about desire and love.....all platonic btw. yes you are dumb if you think otherwise (*wink*)

I actually have two platonic fixes for this...

platonic fix # 1: if we only wanted to focus on sydney as a person who calms carmy down because shes his work bestie who represents his responsibilty to the bear and the postive change they are trying effect in the culinary world, i would add scenes where they are...you know actually cooking???

i think its pretty crazy how the memories carmys immediately jump to are ones that have little to do with their jobs. when they first meet (would also like to note that when carmy first laid eyes on Sydney, he forgot she was there for a job, so this is his raw reaction to seeing a pretty girl lol) and when she comes back after she quit and their break up fight.

i would add their scenes in carmys kitchen (even tho this is extremely damning bc they were flirting DOWN - they don't make this easy at all). this represents their collaboration skills and the way they WORK and bounce ideas off of each other seamlessly. specifically the scene about him wanting to give her a star, representing his duty to her and the restaurant.

*and no shade to carmy but if his responsibility to the bear/syd as a co-worker was bothering him this much and calmed him down wouldn't he have just immediately called the fridge guy.....anyways*

platonic fix # 2 (the best one): if i was chris storer and joanna calo and i REALLY wanted to sell it that carmy isnt in love with sydney then i would put every single member of the OG beef crew + Nat to calm him down not just Sydney.

im talking to them laughing at family, carmy giving tina his chefs knife, richie in his new suit, carmys one on one w Marcus/trying his donut, nat telling carmy shes pregnant (signifing rebirth/wanting to rid all the toxic abuse from his family), carmy trying sydney risotto, and her face when he said it was tremendous etc etc...you get the gist

and honestly?

even as i type this out im tearing up a little bit bc that would have been really beautiful. carmy is changing. he can and is getting rid of old toxic habits from his family and the mess that is the culinary industry. things are changing for the better....that would be beautiful....IF his panic attack was about any of these things lol.

and to even look at this scene without this need for symmetry and we entertain the idea of carmy thinking about his job as a solution for his personal problem...carmy has said himself (s02e01) that this isnt fun for him. i dont think that means he hates cooking i kinda disagree with the ppl who think he isnt passionate about it. i just think currently its something that doesnt bring him joy but i do think its something hes starting to or at least could have started to enjoy if he just committed to working with syd...

conclusion

theres a lot of....delusion? denial? straight up bias? yes all of that, going on.

idk what is happening bc this show is really great at being subtle. but i dont know whats more in your face, dumbed down, even a toddler could understand, than this scene. if you dont come out of this understanding that carmy is falling in love/currently in love with Sydney...and i hate using this term..but you just arent media literate.

bonus: bc it makes me laugh and connects the purpose and solutions.

i think we need a Snyder Sydcarmy Cut™ of bolognese and omelette.

the start of the episode is when sydney and carmy fight over claires inclusion in the menu, and also when sydney randomly asks him to define his relationship with Claire. the episode would continue until we get to the table scene.

i think its WILD how as soon as Sydney asks him to define their relationship, carmy starts calling claire his girlfriend. then the show proceeds to insert sydney in their romantic montage, shows her tattoo about heartbreak and someone getting in the way of your relationship...THEN proceeds to have carmy compare these two women in his mind and only calms down after seeing Sydney.

i could talk about this scene for AGES. wheres the straitjacket....

[beevean]

hiii i dont really have anything to say this is just an invitation to ramble if you ever want to. for freebies. talk at me ill take notes. rattle on about anything ill be quite gleeful about it. this is your free talking ticket (not that you need one per se but i thought the note that i like reading about your thoughts might be nice if nothing else)

Awwwww I appreciate the free ticket a lot 🥰 you're right, it's always nice to have confirmation that others care about your ramblings, so thank you :3

I'm using it because brain got stuck on a random thing: while I was in my phase of gorging on CoD fanfics, I found interesting how different fans interpreted the in-universe reasons for Isaac's appearance.

(sir. sir why do you look so good in a random ass mobile game)

He clearly cares a lot about how he appears. He styles his hair in a certain way, he wears eyeliner (red eyeliner that matches his hair even, which implies he put thought into the best color), he wears impractical but stylish high heels, and in the MF manga he's shown having long nails: while I interpret this as him striving to imitate vampire claws, it still would take a lot of manteinance, and he even hides them under his gloves. I have also pointed out that in PtR his uniform is kept more prim and proper than Hector's, weirdly enough. And with the exception of his uniform for obvious reasons, Isaac still puts care in his appearance after going insane with the Curse.

But what does it say about him?

Some fans seems to simply think he's kind of a peacock. He's vain, he's flamboyant, he knows he's the hot stuff, maybe he's really trying his hardest to hit on Hector lmao. It fits with his arrogant attitude. Maybe he's even a bit of a perfectionist/tryhard: he doesn't need to waste time putting on eyeliner, but damnit, he wants to look his best to work. A king, if you ask me.

Others seem to think it's a sad form of overcompensation. Isaac is not particularly pretty, especially compared to the very beautiful Hector. He has traits that others might see as ugly, like slanted eyes, a large mouth and a big nose. Even worse, while silver hair is obviously unnatural but can be seen as fascinating, red hair in that era was 100% seen as the mark of the devil - and Isaac's red is bright, attracts even more attention. It's not impossible that Isaac was abused for how he looked like, and has some sort of complex about it. In fact, we all know Isaac is the incarnation of the inferiority superiority complex: he has an arrogant, cocky attitude, but he's also extremely insecure about himself, his skills, and being seen as second best/not good enough. So maybe he spent most of his childhood hiding and being ashamed of himself, but now in the place where he truly belongs he has rebounded in the opposite direction: oh, you think I'm unsightly? Have all of me in glorious display! You think my hair marks me as a demon to extirpate? Why yes, I am a demon, and I'm not letting you forget it!

With this mentality, no wonder he'd cover himself head to toe in demonic tattoos that prove his utter loyalty to Dracula, and no wonder that, after he dies, he lets his clothes rot off his back to show even more of his self. He has nothing to hide anymore.

And he still wants to hit on Hector, obviously :P

[sparxwrites]

i think youre one of the best people in terms of character interpretation, and youre who i go to when i want Really Good characterization, *especially* when it comes to flaws and how it affects a characters actions. that said, do you have any thoughts about c!scar's flaws, how they impact situations, relationships with others, and actions? you dont have to say anything, but its something im curious to hear your thoughts on

scar, i think, is almost the opposite of grian - in that, despite enjoying playing the bad guy (and doing it very well!), he cares too much.

i don't mean to say he's not, upon occasion, genuinely villainous. he is! he's sometimes very mean, largely when he gets carried away with being dramatic and camp. sometimes it's something a little bit darker, especially when he knows that's his role in the narrative - and, at all times, he's obedient to the narrative.

but he's not, per se, good at keeping it up. he cares about his friends too much. he cares what people think. he cares about people liking him. the flashes of "evil" in the life series, in his mayor arc, in the king ren arc, are undercut with moments of desperation to not really be the bad guy.

as mayor, he's happy to play the villain, but the minute he might actually be the villain he has to be pushed into continuing by bdubs. he's happy to make bdubs and grian fight it out while he laughs in third life, but the minute it's him and grian he's laying his life down so he doesn't have to actually maybe hurt grian. in last life, he hoards lives and is going to 'go it alone', but he's miserably lonely the whole time and barely manages to muster up a threat towards those who've wronged him even on red.

he is, fundamentally, soft in a way i think scares him. in the same way that grian is something inherently selfish and cruel and kind of shitty playing desperately at being a decent human being, scar has this very soft, tender heart that he desperately barricades away behind the walls of whatever mask he has on at the current moment. his kindness is hidden behind whatever role the narrative demands of him - and, so often, that role is something unkind.

and scar plays that role willingly! he really does. he loves the drama. he loves the trickery. he loves the laughter. but, the whole time, there's this sense of this tender underbelly he's being forced to guard with plate armour the whole time, even though he'd much more naturally be wearing his heart on his sleeve.

[roobylavender]

im fairly new to batcomics so forgive me for this dumb ask/being uninformed, but do you ever have like. doubt in your reading for bruce as a character, or feel bleak about it (?) im aware you dont really like the reading of him as an abuser, but from what ive seen he most often does emotional neglect/distance and parentification of a child, which /are still/ abuse, and this happens very consistently. from what i can tell there is more evidence of him being a bad parent than otherwise. people often say hes incapable of having a child without messing them up beyond repair, and from what ive seen that rings true😭 i also know you said u dont like alot of his modern portrays, but these types of abuse also occur in older comics as well from what i can tell. i myself often have doubt (perhaps this is because i havent read everything yet and im still informing myself on his character)-that maybe this /is/ just his character, bc of HOW consistent the pattern is. idk if im really asking a specific question. im more so wondering what your thoughts are, like on parentificafion of his kids and emotional neglect/distance, would this be different if DC portrayed him more empathetically/based on your reading, and/or is he just fundamentally unable to parent someone without abusing them like some ppl say. i understand i may have just opened a whole can of worms lol but im so curious

you are totally fine! canon is quite overwhelming in both volume and scope, and conversations about bruce being an abuser definitely dominate at present (not wrongfully btw), so i don't blame people for ascribing to them early on. i will say at least from what i have read (and i will admit here that my pre-bronze age reading is not nearly as consistent as my post-bronze age reading so i have kept less track of specific writers and runs there) that i think the aspects that largely define present interpretations of bruce as an abuser tend to take from canon post-crisis onward. so that's probably why in a sense it looks like bruce has "always" been an abuser, bc realistically speaking if you're a new dc reader it makes most sense to start with the aftermath of the crisis and go from there. most conversations about "canon" tend to be about post-crisis canon (ie what has taken place on new earth/prime earth) and usually when you're looking up batman reading lists they will start with year one rather than with anything in pre-crisis. the crisis was nearly forty years ago after all! it covers a lot of territory and unless you're a really dedicated comic reader with a lot of time on your hands i don't think most people have the time or energy to go further back (to no fault of their own obv)

all that being said. pre-crisis canon is obv not monolithic in nature and there are definitely blogs out there who have dedicated themselves to compiling individual issues or moments they would personally interpret as evocative of abusive behaviors on bruce's behalf. i don't think that's inherently wrong to do per se and to each their own reading but my primary divide with that practice is that it's often performed within a vacuum. to me the most important thing when it comes to being a comics reader (or any kind of reader really) is taking into account real life context and genre conventions. how do the politics or culture of the time shape the way a given narrative is written and with what tone it's written? all of that is crucial to incorporate into an analysis. i'm going to use a pretty famous example of why. world's finest comics #153 (1965) is the origin of a pretty famous panel you may be familiar with:

on its face this looks pretty bad (and it'll actually factor into when i discuss parentification later) but contextually this issue imagined an alternate reality wherein superman was responsible for the death of bruce's parents and subsequently became the face of bruce's relentless revenge and pursuit of criminal activity. obv that's not a bruce who actually exists in reality and this was merely written for the sake of exaggeration and entertainment but it can also give rise to some interesting questions about what the writer here was specifically trying to satirize and why. primarily it's obv trying to poke some fun at the idea of bruce's crusade to begin with (which i am sure most people would agree was quite cartoonish in the early decades of dc despite the more layered portrayal and analysis it was afforded in later decades). but what's also pertinent here is the sort of "natural" exaggeration of bruce's dynamic with dick. in even as far back as the original bob kane comics, bruce and dick had a dynamic where dick was comedically portrayed as the more morally responsible one of the two. it wasn't much reason for concern back then bc the stakes weren't nearly as high and dick's tendency to question some of bruce's decisions (eg his tendency to always let selina go or to allow some villains to die horrifically) was almost always played off with a laugh. but the foundation was still there and you can recognize it in these panels despite that foundation obv being taken to an extreme. all of which is to say: the portrayal of bruce as an abuser largely depends on what a writer is willing to exaggerate, and why, and how. this issue was obv a one-off with no relevance to actual canon but it was nonetheless a peek into what that dynamic between bruce and dick could look like given a writer willing to pursue a darker tone and to explore the potential extremes of what was on its face merely a gag

the novelty of cape comics is that they are a place to explore anything and everything. extremes are possible bc no writer/artist and no editorial staff are ever on a book forever. what creatives want to explore with what they're given can hugely vary esp if a particular editorial staff is liberal enough to allow that exploration. and i think it's fair to say that a lot of writers are interested by the idea of that what if the above issue explored. not out of malice per se but certainly out of a growing curiosity as to how far disbelief with respect to the internal reality of cape comics can actually be suspended. the big question for batman in the 80s was whether having a kid sidekick constituted child abuse. this was primarily explored via the starlin run that ended in a death in the family. and obv following that we got the triple whammie of year three, a lonely place of dying, and knightfall. these arcs to me were what really cemented the foray into parentification in batman comics. the fledgling idea of it had always existed in a sense. dick was the more morally upright character of the two known for chiding some of bruce's decisions. he was the leader of the original teen titans, who historically demanded more respect and support of their mentors (i do not think it all inconsequential that dick and roy were developed so closely). and increasingly as we moved from the bronze age into the modern age we saw a dick who simultaneously desired to be independent of bruce and to be recognized by him. so the components to take that fledgling idea to its natural extreme were all there. editorial merely had to create the right circumstances to mesh those components together, and those circumstances were the buildup to and execution of the death of jason todd

i really do not think it can be underestimated in any sense what an enormous impact that event has had on the entire bat mythos at large. beyond utterly shattering the readers' suspension of disbelief wrt sidekicks' place in cape comics what a death in the family did was create an unavoidable void. this was not an event that could merely be skimmed over and moved on from. the aftermath and the consequences had to be dissected to their fullest extent otherwise batman editorial risked falling into the exact same problem the crisis was written to avoid: circular and aimless continuity. everything had to have concrete, forward moving direction and the consequences had to matter long term for there to be meaningful character development. so when you created the circumstances for a child dying bc batman had him gallivanting around as a masked vigilante, he had to retreat into his shell and utterly fall apart from the guilt of it all while everyone else fought like hell to keep him standing. it was pretty riveting and compelling. knightfall is probably one of my favorite arcs ever despite how utterly boring it is bc the introspection into bruce and his breakdown following jason's death was superb. but the circumstances it created for everyone else in bruce's vicinity to act like his emotional crutch while he took the next decade to recover obv had significant long-lasting consequences. dick had to be relegated to acting as the go-to family man rather than ever again pursuing his own dreams as he had in the 80s and early 90s. when jason came back he had to deal with all of bruce's grief and guilt being projected onto him while his own concerns went unheard. tim had to spend his teenage years deluding himself into believing he was the only one who could hold gotham together while bruce was falling apart. cass had to expend an enormous effort trying to prove herself to bruce bc all of the built up circumstances from the last decade drove him to insane paranoia about having sidekicks at all. and damian had to deal with whatever bruce had become by the time all of that was over

all of this to say: do i think bruce was always meant to become an abuser? not really. but did editorial avail themselves of and relentlessly pursue narrative circumstances that allowed that path to be realistically taken? absolutely. it's ultimately a debate of whether or not you agree they should have taken that direction long term. and i know it may look like i would probably be a hard no on that but personally i find myself more in the middle between these two imaginary camps. bc i'm not unsatisfied with what knightfall explored. i found it hugely interesting to explore the natural conclusion of bruce taking all burdens upon his shoulders and making himself highly vulnerable to collapse bc he refused to open up to anyone out of a fear of burdening them in turn. but knightfall was also followed by contagion and legacy and no man's land and murderer and fugitive. it was bruce taking one hit after another until he was utterly ripped to the core and had to start over from scratch and ig that's what i fundamentally disagree with. i don't think they needed to have gone any further than where knightfall took him and to me the end of knightfall should have signaled that bruce was ready to turn a new leaf where he could healthily balance his emotional commitments without letting them be guided by fear. publishing comics takes a long time so i think people often forget that despite there being a decade worth of comics between the events i immediately listed above what actually transpired in real time in the pages was two years or less. if we want to go all of the way back to a death in the family and account for that as well it becomes four years. four years isn't at all a long time nor is it unsalvageable. but by the time knightfall was over i truly think editorial was so obsessed with its own ideas on exploring bruce's collapse that it failed to see little else in the way of that. everything became about how people responded to him rather than about how bruce responded to the world. ironically by being the main character of his books he became the maker of his own demise. bc everything and everyone had to relate to him and his problems first before they could ever have any of their own. that is why keeping him in a perpetual state of emotional collapse has been so profitable. it is the easiest way to tell a story without ever having to make an effort on anyone else in it

note: one clarification i forgot to make earlier is that everything i wrote above is specifically with respect to bruce’s emotional abuse. i personally think there is zero justification for bruce’s physical abuse and that it can’t actually be extrapolated from anything about him as a character at the core, so whenever writers resort to it in the pages i dismiss it completely

[heliianth]

I'm not the same asker, but may I inquire about the opinions on Sonic you think are unpopular? If you're uncomfortable still then... What do you think of Silver haha

im not uncomfortable per se, just dont want to rain on other peoples parade. i usually make characterization posts looking for feedback and similar viewpoints, and bc i know my sonic opinions are unpopular at least from what i can see i wont receive that so it makes this subject offputting for me. but u asked so i shall deliver

im not a huge fan of the interpretation that sonic internalizes or suppresses everything, or considers his "hero role" restrictive or burdensome in the sense that he cant show weakness, etc... maybe im just an adventurehead and new games have more basis for this interpretation, but it kind of feels like the fandom exaggerating traits in order to make sonic an interesting pov character when hes really not meant to be...? thats not to say sonic isnt interesting in general, but i dont think hes equipped for carrying a narrative by himself so usually people try to give him some deeper traumatic internal world to explore when i personally dont think its there, lol. ive said before that i think the most interesting sonic stories to me arent really about Him so much as his effect on other characters and thats why im so mehhh abt this take.

thats not to say sonic doesnt withhold information about himself. in sa2 he very blatantly lies to amy about his thoughts and oftentimes tries to keep others out of harms way by doing stuff himself. but i dont think this is martyrdom or needing to "fulfill his role as a hero" so much as him just feeling some responsibility as, for a while, the oldest kid in the friend group. he doesnt consider himself a hero but hes aware that younger characters, like amy and tails, look up to him so he doesnt want to talk to them like he would a peer. he is generally more serious with characters like knuckles who are around his same age and do not hold him to this pedestal. we see as tails and amy grow he begins to be more relaxed and less "big kid needing to remember his audience" now that they arent as young or star-struck.

splitting up this paragraph to avoid more wall of text but in regards to this ^^^ i also think most of it is just that... hes a private guy. he doesnt particularly want ppl to know whats going on in his brain all the time, has a personal space bubble, doesnt hang around the public often and lots of times doesnt talk much in very social situations. tho i wont knock ppl for trying to find a deeper more psychological reason for it, i dont personally think there is one... hes just an introverted dude. some ppl just dont like talking abt themselves and get awkward abt it.

also what i think of silver? not sure. i think he has good potential... but sonic teams fear of 06 after it flopped so hard didnt let him grow to meet it. i think his arc in that game was unfinished and suffered from the timeline reset. but i also dont remember lots from his story, so i may have to revisit it. i like him in those early days like in rivals, but im afraid to say i dont find him very fascinating nowadays :( sorry! i get why others do tho

[castlebyersafterdark]

https://www.tumblr.com/will80sbyers/761602875308834816/link-for-whos-interested?source=share

i really want to know what you think of this. i still don't think i have a preference either way, because i want to wait to see what the show says. i think it's great that this user (and you!) arent defensive about whats correct but still have a strong opinion.

i noticed in this slideshow that whats possible for bi people (attraction to the same sex etc) could also be viewed for gay people similarly. for example, it's possible for homosexual people to have opposite sex attractions and relationships. so saying mike has had these does not show that he either is or isn't gay or bi... does it?

i think things must be inferred through how emotion is played in the show, subjective feeling (as so much emotion of all kinds is). this isnt really quantifiable so i always lean towards it not mattering what sexuality mike is until the writers decide it matters - i.e. reveal it in s5, either subtextually or explicitly. if they dont reveal it, it never mattered to the story or character to be specified.

i also think it's interesting that this user thinks its love, not sexual attraction, that is the differentiator between what makes someone heterosexual or queer. would you agree?

I have to be honest and when I saw 300+ slides in that presentation - not reading all that for an interpretation I don't and won't subscribe to hahahaha. Kinda very briefly skimmed it. It's fine. It's a huge fandom with very diverse mindsets. I love a lot of theories and analysis and I dislike a lot of them and others it's just... meh. I feel nothing. I appreciate the dedication and passion over that presentation, but I feel nothing 😌

I really do say, to each their own and we can interpret characters however we want and if Mike is bi at the end of the show, so be it. I'll be disappointed over my read and interpretation being incorrect. It's not a dislike or disappointment over bisexuality itself, it's just that acknowledgement of having been wrong and having your analysis cracked open. I can admit that. This is how I view this character. It's not being defensive, per se - just that why can't we just enjoy our interpretations and let it be? I don't really want to argue and outline my reasons like that slideshow hahaha because it just... it's what I think and want to think! One person's thought does not negate another's thought. Neither party here is writing the show. We have no influence! Nothing we can do in our heads or on our blogs will change the show so I never see why people fight too much - we don't need to convince people about the opposing read of a character. I don't care that there are militant Mlvns still insistent out there. What do I care if people still ship it and will still ship it regardless of the outcome of the show? The show is the show. Our blogs and brains are independent of that. We can do/think what we want. No influence, no control.

Unrelated, but it's like people getting upset over the existence of spicy/explicit content. No amount of getting mad and vocal about your dislike of it is going to stop others from thinking about it and liking the content. They nuke tumblr and twitter and ao3 and there's no outlet to talk and share our smutty works? You the repressed fandom cop is happy there's no longer smut of your favorite show online? Hate to break it to you, but they're still fucking nasty in my head. A lot. You can't take away an idea. I'm really rambling hahaha.

If Mike is not gay at the end of the show - I'm still labeling him that way in my Byler works. Because what does it matter then as you say? Transformative exploration of fanfiction. Invested too much mental capacity to the idea. So, it's important to know what you're getting on my blog.

for example, it's possible for homosexual people to have opposite sex attractions and relationships. so saying mike has had these does not show that he either is or isn't gay or bi… does it?

Totally!! To a point. Plays into how you interpret the show. I think a point was made "Mike doesn't have internalized homophobia" but, well we don't know that yet? He probably does. We're interpreting that and will see in the show. But there's nothing to say he doesn't? I mean, he's young, he's a teenager, if he's gay and exclusively wanting to be with guys deep down - well, that part of him might be something he doesn't want to acknowledge even if he really cares for a girl. Confusion on platonic vs romantic is a big element. He thinks he should be with a girl. Society. Other influences. That's part of the point, arguments for both sexualities. This is personal and I won't get into toooo many details, but before I met him, my man was with a woman for many years before he eventually came out as gay. That's reality for a lot of people. Sexuality is COMPLICATED!!!!!

I've talked about it before, but I knew I was gay and yet, I dated girls in high school. To shield, to have somebody. The youthful difficulty of navigating friendship/romance. Me dating a girl in HS: "Sure! This benefits me for multiple reasons." Was it a great mindset and behavior? No, but give grace to teenagers who are confused and scared. That can also be Mike. His situation is just very, very dramatic with outside forces beyond the norm. His situation has at times been life or death.

Fiction is a great way to explore things!!

i also think it's interesting that this user thinks its love, not sexual attraction, that is the differentiator between what makes someone heterosexual or queer. would you agree?

Hmmmmm - no?? Maybe I'm confused. Why would that be a differentiator? Because every sexuality can feel love and/or sexual attraction to their preferred type of person. And then can feel love for anyone regardless of orientation. Love =/= sex. But attraction and desire makes up sexual orientation. I'm not gay only because I love men - I'm gay because I want to have sex with men. There are women and men I love and I don't feel attraction to them. There are men I'm attracted to and don't love. Love =/= falling in love or being in love and that's the difference that gets jumbled and/or need to be worked out sometimes. And falling in love/being in love isn't completely to do with sex - but that's the catch, right? That's what lies on the human to figure out themselves. Not easy to sit here and define it with rigid peramiters and labels.

Otherwise, maybe I'm missing something from that statement...

[mocha-wuv]

pinned post edit this better later

probably when i actually use this blog preferably.

main ship/focus: stevenocha ( steven strngled red x mocha )

_____

tagging is usually self-explanatory. specific ships are tagged as the ship name and also the characters separately, in case they arent always together.

( but the post will usually be implied ship so thatd usually be tagged anyways ) .

boundaries:

page is an open secret . my main is @synthetic-sonata

no nsfw. at most suggestive , usually jokes . posts considered suggestive will be tagged as such. and bc this blog mainly focuses on romantic and/or platonic ! although i do draw nsfw its like. for myself and i dont want to post it outside of my friendcircles - i am over 18

if you selfship with the same character ... idk??? its really dependant. its mostly if you dont interpret them well and just have the worst takes . the 'he would not fucking say that' pill . otherwise, i dont really care and will handshake you.

main character of this blog for now is mocha , because he's my current favorite oc and also ... kind of me? it's complicated - system stuff basically but hes one of the hosts of our system and also a fictive but not really but kind of ( ocs are hard to really figure out if its a 'chicken or an egg' situation - did the oc or alter come first typa thing ).

treat him as an oc, because in most selfship context, he is an oc. but im also called mocha as one of my main aliases and i am also mocha ! but theres seperation between oc mocha and alter/me mocha. think of it as a sona of sorts i suppose

fanart is accepted and appreciated, but obviously try not to make them unrecognizable if you do - its appreciated heavily though! fanwritings... also allowed but itd be really hard to write an oc that you dont own without seeing how i write them so thats more on the iffy side.

this blog much like any selfship or oc canon blog is self-indulgent as fuuuuuuccckk . this is mainly for self indulgent ships! something like dirkpink or ultdirkmagna, a popular long-running oc x canon i had, wasnt really for me per se? just the fun outcome of rp shenanigans. so i post freely about it on my main. stevenocha, for example, is way more self-indulgent and personal to me.

[domestick-clairvoyante]

hello dear, i dont know if you answer asks but i freaking out.

i had a dream abou this guy i like. i was out eating in a weird restaurant-bar and he was sitting a few tables away from me. a party of drunk young adults waltzes in and they start making a fuss. at some point some guys start making fun of me and threaten violence but he gets up and starts defending me, untill the guys left.he then grabs me and we walk away holding hands. we get to like a quiet place and he agoes to leave and says something along the lines of "these idiots, if they didnt know why they were messing with" and i jokingly bowed and said "my hero" or smth and he turned shy and left.

if that was it id be fine BUT THEN i was walking and i stumbled uppon a mutual friend talking with his(the guy i like)s sister and they kinda knew what happened and our friend was teasing me and the guy-i-likes sister said "thats how he is, he will let you look but wont allow you to touch him" WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO THINK AFTER THAT HOLLY SHT

if you can help me i would appreichiate it greatly dear. i hope youre having a lovely day :)

hello, dear anon!

i do, indeed, answer asks. i hope you're not freaking out as much now; it sounds like this has been stressful! i hope this interpretation will be of some consolation.

a disclaimer: it can be difficult to interpret dreams as a whole, primarily because there are so many different meanings and symbols to be gleaned from them. please take my interpretation with a grain of salt!

if you don't want to read through the whole interpretive process, scroll down to 'In a Rush?" <3

as always, we'll start by looking at basic symbols as a foundation:

the guy you're interested in: crushes are a relatively easy symbol to interpret. they often represent what you think of them in the waking world, alongside longing and excitement to experience new possibilities. he likely reflects the current state of your relationship with this person.

the restaurant/bar: restaurants and bars usually represent social connections and choices that must be made going forwards.

seating: seating and distance are generally quite important! they indicate how close you are with the people around you and how much of an impact they have on you currently.

the (drunk) young adults: while dreaming of youth often goes hand in hand with new beginnings (and insecurity, woo) the mix of youth and drunkenness creates an interesting combination. drunkenness indicates irresponsibility and loss of control. you'll see how these two play into each other further down :)

hand-holding: again, the theme of new beginnings seems to be prominent here. handholding can also represent a bond between people and intimate relationships!

passersby: let's break this down. you mention a mutual friend and a sister. this mutual friend could represent a pre-existing connection, understanding and a desire for emotional closeness. sisters in dreams (i referred to the dictionary of dreams for this one) often signify fortune. while i don't necessarily believe in omens, per se, you're more than welcome to interpret it as such.

now, because you included snippets of statements, we can weave those in with the symbols!

the statements, in question:

"these idiots, if they didnt know why they were messing with"

this sentence as a whole radiates protectiveness. perhaps you desire protection, or you simply want to feel safe.

"thats how he is, he will let you look but wont allow you to touch him"

in all honesty, i'm not entirely sure what to make of this statement. my best guess is that you feel the guy you're interested in hasn't been as close to you as you'd like him to be and that you desire a more tangible connection.

now, let’s put this all into context. it sounds like you're panicking! which is completely normal, given the situation. but it seems like this has been a time of uncertainty for you, so you've found yourself second-guessing your thoughts more often than not. your doubt appears to have manifested itself here.

💫🌟In a Rush? Or Simply Not a Fan of Long Texts? Read Just the Interpretation Below🌟💫

given the context and the symbols, i think that the general theme of your dream surrounds a desire for intimacy and new beginnings, however, these desires have been restricted by your doubt.

you are longing and excited to experience new possibilities with your crush. however, definitive social choices need to be made going forwards. currently, the guy you're interested in has become a major part of your life. you seem to be getting closer to this guy (emotionally), and you want to form a more permanent relationship. you crave safety and protection, and you may feel he can give it to you. however, that doubt is still present. while you want a new beginning, you may feel irresponsible for doing so; your fear of rejection and lack of control over the situation is causing you to hesitate in taking further steps.

i found the distance between the two of you to be an intriguing aspect of this interpretation. you went from sitting apart -> to defending each other -> to holding hands -> to speaking with one another -> and then to him getting shy and leaving. it's almost like you're running circles around each other; being shy and coming to each other's aid when you need it, then reverting back to that shyness when you get too close.

there is a bond present with this person. you crave an intimate relationship and emotional intimacy. understanding is the ultimate end goal for you, but your fear of rejection isn't allowing you to get closer to him.

if you'd like to take this dream as a good omen? go ahead. i won't stop you. this may be just the push you need. but you are neglecting the doubt and fear that you feel. my best advice at the moment is to get to the root of this fear and find a way to face it if you can. this is a time to reflect <3

i'm rooting for you! and i hope this helps - let me know if you need any clarification :)

[elatedcat]

I wanna do my version but with mini explanations for each bc I'm interested in both of these a totally normal amount‼️‼️ U CAN CORRECT ME IF I SAY ANYTHING WRONG THOUGH

001 Haruka - Flesh/ Corruption

Flesh- One of the more grousome ones but I think it kind of fits him idk how to explain it well, it's an animal fear and his MV's focus a lot on animal death which sort of ties in with body horror yk? I don't think he sees himself as strong enough or "worthy" enough to become a hunt avatar for that to be a thing he could be but like I do think his insecurities would lead to him being flesh aligned

Corruption- other than his affiliation with Muu, butterflies and caterpillars are heavily featured in his MV's and insects are a very clear demonstration of the corruption. ALSO his crime was sort of corruption aligned as well if you think about it, because he killed to get the attention (love) from his mother that he'd always desired and the corruption's main motifs are that of a toxic but blind love that would accept you despite all imperfections which is what Haruka wanted from his mother (correct me if I'm misunderstanding his case at all)

002 Yuno - Lonely

Gonna yap less than I did for Harukas lol, I think a big part of Yunos' crime wasn't her method of "murder" per se more of the reason she "murdered" which I personally view as lonely-aligned. The way I interpreted the case was more as seeing it through her point of view, and in my interpretation of her opinion she killed her kid because she didn't want a burden of responsibility, and because she wasn't ready for something to love her so completely because she likes shifting from person to person and not letting anyone truly know her.

003 Futa - beholding aligned hunt

THIS ONE HAS TMA S4 SPOILERS YOUVE BEEN WARNED

IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN THIS ONE I FEEL LIKE ITS SO SELF EXPLANITORY LMAO

I think he started as a possible beholding avatar and the more he felt the rush of exposing people and the more he sought out the need to expose others and pay back for the wrongs they'd committed the more he began to lean towards becoming a hunt avatar. I also think T1 results brought him a bit more back to just being a beholding avatar kind of like post-coffin daisy??

004 Muu - Corruption

This one is so self explanitory but I fear idk how to phrase it properly lol. So there's the t2 MV with the symbolism of her being a queen bee, there's the fact she needs reassurance all her friends love her and when she doesn't get that from her victim she kills her. There's also the monetary value that her friends got from being with her and how her idea of love was people genuinely listens to what she wants to say which she never got from a person (but COULD get from the corruption).

005 Shidou - End

He's a doctor who triages (idk the proper structure for that sentence) I think this one's pretty obvious he's literally deciding who meets their end 😭 I don't think he would've become an avatar until after his wife/kids die if he continued to do it though because I don't think he feared death until that point

006 Mahiru - Corruption

Love as a symbolism of corruption again RAHHH. The whole rat/cake thing in her second MV too (MY SECOND FAV FROM THE TRIAL I LOVE THAY MV SO MUCH) I think it's just so perfect for her to be a corruption avatar, I think if the whole double suicide theory is right she could also be an end avatar but right now that's too big of a leap yk

007 Kazui - Spiral/Beholding/Stranger

Spiral - Since he cheated on his wife and yk the Spiral is all about deceit and lies it just makes sense in my head IDK I DONT PAY THAT MUCH ATTENTION TO HIM HONESTLY SORRY 😭

Beholding- once again the cheating and his fear of being found out, there's also the fact he's the character we know the least about because of how much he wants to hide which is so beholding avatar type shit

Stranger- this one's gonna be so short but his first MV is so like stranger vibes you know? Like the masks and stuff it's also so stranger coded

008 Amane - Dark/Desolation

TMA S4 AND AMANE T2 SPOILERS

Dark- this is just from my views of the Dark but in my opinion it makes sense for the most religious characters to be serving the Dark. For example Manuela Dominguez (THIS IS MY OPINION BUT ESPECIALLY CATHOLICISM TO DARK PIPELINE FEELS SO REAL TO ME) since it goes hand and hand with god often being perceived as "light" for the counterpart of those who don't feel that light to be the dark. Which feels like it would fit Amane's view of the world yk, if her God were to reject her for what she did to her mom I think it'd make sense she would become a dark avatar. Also callum brodie and her are literally best friends trust she told me herself.

Desolation - I think it's the complete opposite of what i said for the dark. The light can bring a sense of security if you aren't burning in its flaws and I think if she were a Desolation avatar what she did to her mother would be no more than common sense since she didn't embrace that warmth like what was expected of her.

I know it feels kind of cheap to use the two that have cults dedicated for them but I genuinely feel like I would've picked these even without the cults, if anything I think the fact Agnes exists kinda made me not wanna include the Desolation bc it doesn't fit with amanes current beliefs but the Desolation also just fits her so well 😭

009 Mikoto - Spiral

Throughout all of the MV's and VD's Mikoto is trying to convince Es (as well as himself) that he doesn't have a disorder and that he is a perfectly well adjusted person, I also imagine dissociative amnesia to hit him quite hard sometimes especially when he's such a hard worker. I honestly think he might be more marked by the Spiral though and not really an avatar if that makes sense?

009 John - Stranger/Hunt

Stranger - The mannequin motifs in the second MV are so strong especially the way John is sort of framed in an us vs them way mentality with them. Idk it just clicks for me though I might be wrong

Hunt- Theres still that sense of us vs them i talked abt with the stranger I think it can be applied here as well. There's also the responsibility of being Mikotos protector that is carried throughout his character, similar to mikoto I think he might be more marked by this fear than am avatar of this fear but I thought it best to include that too

010 Kotoko - Hunt

This one was the one I noticed like from my first watchthrough she's like the definition of a hunt avatar. Though she is going for the opposite direction that most hunt avatars go for which I find nice since most avatars go for the weakest people (for example vampires) and she goes for people who are hurting the weak. The wolf symbolisms too she's just so daisy-coded

Es - The beholding

They work at a PANOPTICON. They go through people's minds to EXTRACT crimes from people's heads. THEY ARE LITERALLY 15 YR OLD (considered an adult in Puerto Rico and Haiti/j) JONATHAN SIMS NEED I SAY MORE???

Me and @mechanical-v1scera ‘s milgram fear alignment assignments

001 Haruka - lonely aligned slaughter avatar

002 Yuno - lonely avatar

003 Futa - eye

004 Muu - hunt aligned, corruption avatar

005 Shidou - End

006 Mahiru - corruption

007 Kazui - eye

008 Amane - desolation/web aligned

009 Mikoto (and John) - stranger/web/eye

010 Kotoko - hunt

Es - eye

[husbandograveyard]

Hazel hi! I see you added twst to your fandoms and your box is open soooo 👀 can I ask for some headcanons for Malleus. Azul and Vil where they get confessed to? Maybe while they were trying to figure out how to/when to/if they should confess? Idk I'm just here for fluff and laughs. Thanks if you do this! 💜 - Lisa

First twst Request! Keep em coming UwU, in the meantime I’ll just share my brainrot with y’all without anyone asking for it. These are becoming more and more broken up scenario’s than actual HC, and they are a little different from your request, you’ll see. Hope you dont mind! Sowwy! I Even left the bullet points away cause they just didn’t seem right. 

Confessing to Malleus, Azul, Vil 

2nd person, GN reader, no warnings, just fluff. Only warning is that these are LONG. Vil and Azul under the cut. 

Malleus Draconia

Malleus had been spending a lot of time with you lately, even seeking you out at moments he felt like it had been too long since he last saw you. He wasn’t too sure of his feelings until Lilia pointed them out to them. It was a little strange, and he wasn’t too sure how to go about it. He’d never felt like this before. Sure, he wanted to be closer to other people, but like this? All new. 

You had been noticing him spending more time with you too. It was a welcome change of pace, as you had developed feelings for him pretty early on in your friendship. But with how socially awkward and out of touch Malleus sometimes could be, you didn’t want to ruin what you had by potentially pushing him away with too intense a feeling on your side.

But, lately, he had been seeking you out more often than the other way around. Even going to more public events at the school - you being the one to make sure an invitation got extended to him in the first place. 

It made your heart swell. All the little things that had changed ever since you met him for the first time. How he initially kept both physical and mental distance, but now allowed you close in both ways, sharing thoughts and conversations, but also sharing small touches. Nothing that could be interpreted as too romantic per se, but definitely different from the way he treated most other people.

He was noticing it too, on your side. The little smiles when you spent time with him, the way you closed your eyes when you listened to him telling about his hometown. The way you initially pulled away from accidental touches, as if a jolt of electricity just coursed through your body, but now you were actually leaning into him whenever it happened. And he found himself like it more and more whenever that happened.  

He had been picking up on signals for a while now, but it was only when Lidia helped him by actually putting it into words, that he realized just how long he might have been ignoring your true feelings. And he was now worrying that he might have sent you the wrong signals by never really reacting to your advances. If that’s what they truly were, really, even now he wasn’t 100% sure. 

And now he was seeking you out to finally put his feelings into words, preferably right after class, so no chores or duties or homework could be occupying you just yet. 

Little did he know that you were walking around campus as well, trying to find him to finally make it clear to him how you really felt. Subtelty and fear thrown out of the window. You weren’t sure just how much longer you could take it, and you were pretty sure that even if he were to reject you, he’d still have you around if you’d want that. You really considered yourself at least good friends by now. 

Malleus couldn’t find you in your dormroom, where he was expecting to find you. He started walking around campus, ears and eyes focused on trying to spot your figure. He was repeating the words he wanted to say over and over, a little louder than a whisper. Since most people kept their distance anyway, there was no danger of anyone that didn’t matter overhearing, unless- 

“Why are you repeating that you love me in that strange whisper-tone?”

Busted. Malleus turned around, seeing you with an amused smirk on your face. The smirk however was in sharp contrast with how your hands seemed to be shaking. Nerves. 

“Well, y/n, I was practising to say that to you. But I guess since you overheard, I no longer actually need to say it?” 

You laughed. “Well, I was actually about to say the same to you. So why don’t we find someplace now, and repeat ourselves? Just to get the message across?”

Vil Schoenheit

Rook found himself in an annoying position. Sure, he was fine helping out his housewarden confess to the person he’d had his eyes on for quite some time. If anything, it could almost be considered one of his duties as a vice-housewarden.

What he was not prepared for, however, was you coming up to him to help him with the exact same thing. Two lonely hearts, both yearning to confess and asking for his help and advice? With the way things were looking right now, neither of you needed any assistance, just a little push in the right direction, and what more could he do than play a perfect undercover role. No one else but him would be able to play cupid that well, with his perfect aim to shoot arrows right through both your hearts. 

Helping Vil was easy, he was mostly requiring assistance in finding the right words. Rook and his elaborate knowledge of literature and poetry could help him pick the perfect metaphors to help Vil explain why the two of you would be a perfect match. 

Helping you proved to be a little harder. You see, you wanted to confess as fast as possible now that you had made up your mind. But Rook knew that Vil was trying to perfectly plan this all out, and he didn’t want to ruin that, thus he had to stall you a little, giving you all kinds of reasons why you shouldn’t be alone with the man of your dreams right now. 

“He’s having a beauty sleep.” “He’s doing his hair.” “He has to prepare for an audition.” “He’s getting ready for a shoot.” 

You were getting sick of it. Ever since you told Rook you wanted help confessing to Vil, he had been sabotaging you it seemed, and you were almost regretting asking him for help at all. So far, none of the advice had even been useful, besides maybe the encouragement he seemed to give you initially. He gave you hope that you wouln’t be rejected, and honestly that was all you needed to get to it, before insecurities got the better of you and you started doubting again. 

You were making your way to the biggest room in the Pomifiore dorm, having spotted Rook going in with Vil, probably to assist with one thing or the other. But he wasn’t there to stop you from going in, and that’s all that mattered. The plan was simple enough. Knock, go in, demand to have Vil alone for a little while and then confess, hopefully be out within ten minutes with a date. 

You were determined not to let anyone stop you. Which is why both the blond-haired men were shocked when the door swung open rather violently, not even giving either of them time to say something after the brief knocking. 

“Vil, I need to talk to you. Alone” 

“Sure, y/n.” Vil was quick to regain composure, unlike Rook who was looking as if you’d just ruined a surprise. “Leave us alone for a while, will you?” 

Vil looked at Rook, expectantly, telling him to close the door behind him. As he did so, Vil focused all his attention on you. 

“It’s been a while since we’ve talked, y/n” 

“Exactly, Rook has been keeping you away from me ever since-” You closed your mouth just in time, cutting yourself off. This was not the words you wanted to use. But it was too late, curiosity was already piqued. 

“Ever since what, y/n?” Vil seemed interested. He himself had been thinking Rook was keeping you away so he could prepare an appropriate confession in peace, but if there was something going on on your side too, that could explain why he hadn’t seen you in almost two weeks, a presence sorely missed. 

You sighed. Everything was ruined anyway, so you might as well confess everything right there. 

“Ever since I’ve wanted to confess my feelings for you.” 

Long eyelashes fluttered, and a smile appeared on his lips. 

“Well that explains then, y/n”, Vil motioned you to sit next to him, so you’d be closer. A good sign that made you smile as well, “because he’s been doing the same to me, ever since I asked for help to confess my feelings for you.” 

“Looks like both our plans were ruined then.” You smiled up at him. 

“Maybe for the better. What’s all that preparation good for when you can move on straight to the good part? Y/n, when would you have time to go out with me?”

Azul Ashengrotto

There is mutual care, there is mutual love. There are so many little hints that Azul cares for you more than just a friend (and big ones too, like the tweels’ endless teasing that leaves him a strange mix of flustered and frustrated whenever those two are around when you’re with him). 

And yet, nothing is really moving, and you figure out it is probably because he needs some more confirmation. 

And what more confirmation can you give him than actually confessing your feelings yourself? It’s a little nerve-wracking, sure, but the rewards outweigh the risk by a lot, especially since you are about 99% sure that Azul likes you back. 

There are so many ways to go about this, and you weren’t really sure how to go about it. In between the twins’ antics and the trouble Azul had with seeing himself as he really was, insecurity dragging him down even when he put up the bravest of faces, you wanted to make sure he didn’t see it as a joke. It had to be genuine, and private. Just the two of you. 

The best way to get Azul alone was to ask for a wish. But the moment you do so, you can already see the surprise, confusion, and reluctance in his eyes. Deals usually don’t turn out in the favor of those he’s making them with, and while he couldn’t possibly try to scam you, the mere fact that you’re still asking for it is making him feel uneasy in some type of way. 

The expression returns to normal as he regains composure, escorting you to his office, your heart beating wildly in anticipation. 

“What can I help you with?” the statement is very neutral, very businesslike, and your heart drops a little when you realize he probably has no idea what you’re here to do, disappointed that you’re resorting to this sort of contact with him, very well knowing what happens to people making deals. 

Nevertheless, you push on, knowing that this may only add to the surprise of what you’re really about to say. 

“Well,” you started off with a smile, stepping a little closer to him, seeing his gaze already soften behind his glasses, “what I’m asking for is a bit of a package deal, really.” 

He didn’t speak, letting you continue. 

“I wish to be closer to you.” You saw his brows furrow, confusion appearing on his face as it started to dawn on him -this was no regular deal.

“At the very least have a date. Maybe be more than friends?” You laughed a little at his shocked expression. “Of course, whatever terms and conditions you’d like to apply.” 

It was silent for a little while, so you decided to steal his usual words and use them against him. 

“Have we got a deal?” 

He stepped close, his cheeks a deep red color by now, disbelief apparent on his eyes, and carefully grabbed your hands. 

“Are you- is this a-?” You’d never seen him stumble on his words like that before, and laughed a little, kissing his cheek, effectively shutting him up. 

“No, it’s not a joke. And I am taking it as a yes.” 

[hajihiko]

Do you think Soda has PTSD from his dad?

(Wonder if u two are mind linked lol)

Short answer: I'm not sure about flashbacks or other PTSD symptoms since Im not an expert on it; *I* dont usually have it in mind per se, but objectively it's very possible and understandable.

(Warning: gonna talk about parental abuse. Obviously. But only in the context of the effects it might have, no real descriptions of violence)

Long answer: I think Soudas relationship with his dad is one of those messy, awful, complicated ones that you might not really understand until years later, when you've gotten some distance.

I think he says that he used to stay home during field trips and class events, because his dad was kinda poor and Souda didn't want him to have to field the expenses; but instead of just saying that, he just kinda. Didn't go. And got beat for it. So he might have not felt safe just saying "I'm gonna skip school because it's cheaper" (not to generalize but, Fathers and feeling like they're not considered Head of House / Full Provider, amiright). A little bit of "I gotta do things right and if I dont do them right then it's bad news but it's fine because I'll just do it better next time".

I think he wanted, generally, to have a good relationship with his dad and be helpful- trying to save money, helping out at their workshop/garage, just kinda hanging out, etc. Like he actually wanted to and thought he could have a great father/son thing going on if he just tried a little harder or did things a little differently, changed himself a little, never really thinking of talking it out or telling anyone- because it's not so bad and he can totally handle it! And it's not like he gets his ass beat every day it's only occasionally (when he fucks up) and in between, they actually have a good time together sometimes! His dad is like, almost his friend! And his dad does keep him fed and clothed and supports his passion (and his very good at reminding Souda that he should be thankful) so it's NO Big Deal. Just like his ex-best-friend throwing him under the bus was no big deal, just as long as no one starts ignoring him or leaving him out or kicking him out of the house its FINE.

That's why he talks about it so casually, because it's fine, and its only once he has enough distance from the situation and gets to hear different perspectives that he's like, oh, that was messed up actually.

Like, Hajime and Sonia both seem shocked, but they come from such a different background so its okay that they dont get it- but Fuyuhiko gets furious about it too, and while his parents sucked they never actually beat him- and Akane has been through A Damn Lot but even she seems really uncomfortable with the idea that okay yeah Soudas dad beat the shit out of him a few times (it's the Big Sister in her).

And just like, with time and good friends around, I can see Souda having moments where he just remembers something he used to think nothing of and goes "wait that was fucked up actually??" Like, they're just fishing or something, and he goes "hey... did your parents ever try to convince you something didn't happen when it probably definitely did?" And depending on who he asks the answer is different, but generally its "nnnno?" and he's like "oh ..... that's kinda messed up isnt it?" Yes, Souda, it is messed up.

And he might have reactions and ideas that he didn't think about too much when he was still in his home situation, like his general fearfulness and jumpiness, being convinced people might turn on him, being kind of a people-pleaser sometimes, flinching excessively around certain noises or movements, being quick to cower and cover his head, etc, quick to latch onto people who are any kind of nice to him. Stuff that's just kind of his personality by now, but he probably got it from somewhere.

I'm not an expert tho and I won't armchair diagnose or anything, this is just my personal interpretation.

(According to A Therapist that stuff is not classified as PTSD symptoms if it's not accompanied by flashbacks or painful memories / stuff you actively try not to remember, but what do I know)

[gotmyass2marz]

WHATEVER im talking abotu the interpretations my brain made out of the vague information slop i obtained years ago . even if no one asked

im gonna talk about the terrible little semi ironic ship here because its whats on my mind the most . also i will be using the placeholder names Sandwich and Whiteboy while talking about them because .still too embarrassed to say what it is

so whiteboy is the biggest freak to ever live . filled with unending internal torment but conceals it with boyish mischief . he feels like a 1950s mad scientist typa guy to me totally the kinda dude to say YOULL SEE !!!!!!! YOULL ALL SEE !!!!!!!! annddd that Did happen to him one time i think because he brought up being “shunned by the people around me for wanting to prevent the situation from escalating” one time . also he talks about himself like he was some sort of almighty ruler at one point but i think that shit never happened and he just Reaaaaally wants to be someones object of worship . even though he knows good n well no one likes him to that degree

and sandwich . well i dont one hundred percent Know what his deal is but i know hes some sort of weird immortal force of nature that is mostly pretty chill despite the destruction he can and has caused . i think he Does wants to do some sort of good for the world but has to do fucked up shit for it to happen (eg committing multiple accounts of arson . yes that is something he actually did) . so like an antihero situation i guess . at the same time he doesnt really feel good nor bad about his cruelty because he knows itll be for the good of the world in the end .or something

AND THEIR DYNAMIC . hoo boy is that shit a slippery slope . i couldnt decide whether it would be more accurate for them to hate eachother or love eachother so i just made it a weird sticky mix of feelings of genuine affection and palpable hatred . because as we all know i eat that shit up . sandwich isnt too fond of whiteboy but he doesnt really hate him per se . he just thinks hes a huge freak (Which He Is) and just doesnt care that much for him as a result . except in certain situations where shit gets out far far of hand THEN he hates him forreal . whiteboy however is different because he does have a lot of affection for sandwich but is AAAALSO conflicted with feelings of hatred for him because of some deep seated internal beef he has with him . its related to the “””situation””” he brings up but ill explain that later .its complicated . and ON TOP OF THAT theres his weird god complex thing where he desires to be wanted and worshipped with Visceral passion . so tldr sandwich kinda just sees whiteboy as a weird little acquaintance and whiteboy constantly switches between wanting sandwich to die and wanting to know him biblically

also . unrelated but they remind me of ⬇️this image . it should be very clear who is who

remember when i brought up that roblox game (that shall remain nameless for now but only because im embarrassed) earlier . well truth is i am becoming DEEPLY autistic about it again not just the game itself but the interpretations my brain made of the characters from what i remember about all of them . also theres a semi ironic ship involved which is just plargos if they somehow got Worse