#i have one chapter of HWI left to go and then ive read all of hornblower aside from a few of the short stories

[isaacathom]

i dont post my hornblower readthrough thoughts here as much because theyre usually just 'weird chapter' or 'oh that was cool! i liked that' but i will say im genuinely really enjoying hornblower in the west indies. its fitting, i think, that the series starts and ends, chronologically, with anthologies.

[sxfik]

peace is not known to man (III)

part I | part II | part III | part IV (coming soon)

read on ao3 • main masterlist • law school masterlist

fic summary: after turning his back on the prosecutor's office, lawyer han joon hwi attempts at a clean slate, starting his own private firm. but, there was no way for him to move forward without clearing his former suspect, his current coworker, lawyer kang sol. with lee man ho, their main suspect, escaped and an empty apartment, can they prove her innocence?

suspicious partner au, fake dating, roommates au of solhwi :)

chapter summary: the news of ji ho's state pushes the team to a standstill, but it's the news that will follow that will truly test the breaking point.

a/n: after 7 months, this is the third chapter of peace is not known to man. it's been an incredibly long time since i've updated and i sincerely apologize for that. in this time, quite a lot has happened in my life! i'm now in college, in second semester, and holy shit it's a brand new year! this chapter took a lot of time for me to write, writers block combined with a busy schedule and zero focusing ability! but without further adieu...

There are moments in life when time seems to be going too slow. Each moment feels like you're wading through an ocean of molasses, your movements lethargic and slow. Every second stretches out, the future not coming fast enough. Yet, your mind is still sharp and bright, willing your body to propel itself forward against the waves crashing against you.

This was one of those moments, as Joon hwi watched as Ji ho's chest rise and fall, his breathing in tandem with the assortment of beeps and noises filling the hospital room. His vision felt sluggish and it felt like the day his former roommate could gain conscious wouldn't come soon enough. Everywhere he looked, there wires and tubes attached to the man lying on the bed, the red and blue colors flashing on the monitors monitoring every second of Ji ho's condition.

"It's a good thing you brought him in as soon as possible," the doctor had said to them, the group almost clinging onto each other in front of the ER. "He experienced a lot of blood loss. If you were a few more minutes late, the operation would have been much harder. He's in a more stable condition now, but might take a while to gain consciousness."

It's been two days since then, as they all took shifts, watching their dear coworker and friend as he lay in the hospital. Each of them would shuffle in, their suit crinkled and hair disheveled as they took turns watching over him.

Despite their firm still being swamped with cases, none of them could focus on anything except Ji ho's condition. More often than not, they would all bring their stacks of case files to the private room, working as they monitored his condition. Everywhere you looked you could see papers and case files, the room as much of a mess as they were. It was only on Joon Hwi's instance that any of them showered or went home to take a break.

Of course, none of this would get through to Kang Sol B. She insisted on staying by his side, snapping at anyone who suggested she leave to take a break. After Sol's incessant pestering, she'd go home but soon enough, the girl would be back, ready to stay by Ji ho's side. Eventually they just gave up, letting the girl sit by her side.

To any outsider, the calm, cold demeanored girl didn't look any different but they all knew better. Her eyes were red rimmed, shifting to the man laying in the bed at any shift in breathing or any discomfort. Her voice didn't hold the same strength anymore, her words had no bite to it. Her hands trembled in her lap, constantly scrubbing at each other, trying to clean themselves off despite not a speck of dust in sight.

Ji ho had left Sol late at the office that fateful day, after getting an apparent phone call that Lee Man Ho was spotted in an abandoned corner of the city. There was construction everywhere in the area, so it was a plausible hiding site for their culprit. Despite her insistence to wait for someone else to go with him or at least take her with him, he wouldn't relent, insisting that he had to follow this lead to prove some hunch he had, before it ended up in a dead end. Stil, he promised her he would call as soon as he was at the site, or at least after he’d checked the place out.

An hour passed, then two. Sol B had patiently waited but after not receiving a phone call from him, she took matters into her own hands, driving herself towards the construction site. After searching every alleyway and street, she found him, lying against the corner of an unfinished wall.

By the time Joon hwi and Sol A reached the hospital, Sol B was still sitting against the wall of the ER, her gaze blank as blood soaked up to her elbows. Her white shirt was smeared with his blood, and she was completely unresponsive to any of their calls.

Sol had refused to tell them how he was when she found him, her lips pursed and her eyebrows furrowed. The moment any one asked her about the events that happened between finding him and landing up in the hospital, her gaze would go blank and she wouldn't speak for the rest of the hour until someone changed the subject.

Understanding that she wouldn't speak until she was ready, they had let her be, each of them taking turns to make sure she was taking care of herself instead. Sol A and Ye Seul would occasionally bring her clothes and food, tried to ensure that she would eat and take care of herself.

"Ji ho, if you wake up, I promise you I'll give you all my candy that you've asked for over the years." Ye-beom said, sitting at the seat across from Joon hwi and Sol B. The aloof and cheery guy who always had candy at hand, now has a pile of candy he laid out in a small bag labeled 'for Ji Ho.'

"I'll even give you the orange lollipops that you always asked for," he looked down to the floor, sighing.

"Give me the cherry ones, the orange ones are too sour," a weak voice murmured out.

"Sure, anything you want," Ye-beom replied mindlessly, before his head shot up looking up at Ji Ho’s faint smile, his eyes finally open, on the bed.

"God finally!" Bok-gi shot to his bedside, his curly hair frizzier than ever. The only thing that kept it back was black hairband with "Ye-Seul" embroidered on it in gold thread. They'd all slowly gathered around Ji ho, standing at the sides of his bed, the cheers of glee and laughter scattering across the room.

Ji ho scanned the room, looking at the shock and glee on everyone's face before landing on a certain girl who stayed quiet, her eyes narrowed at him. He squinted. "Kang Sol? God, I can't even see you properly because I don't have my glasses. Next time I get shot and I'm in the hospital, please keep my glasses on my face," he joked, everyone letting out scattered bits of laughter.

"Next time?" She stared him down, looking square at his face, her face emotionless as everyone quieted down looking between the two. "There better not be a next time," she said firmly. And it would have been effective, if not for the slight wavering in her voice. If not for the slight tremble in her hands as she looked at him, fully taking him in. Ji ho only grinned at her response, possibly one of the biggest grins he's ever had on his face.

The rest of the afternoon had passed by quickly, with Joon hwi ushering in the doctors letting them know he had woken up and the next two hours spent checking his condition and making sure he was okay. By the time he was able to relax, it was late into the evening.

"Guys, go home, I'll take care of Ji ho for the night," Joon hwi reassured the group, looking specifically at Sol B. Before she could protest, Ji ho grabbed her hand, squeezing it tight. Her lips pressed into a thin line and finally, she relented. Sol A and Ye-Seul came to her side, gently lifting the girl up to her feet as the rest of the group shuffled out, Sol B leaning onto the girls.

"I was right," Ji ho murmured to him, his eyes still glued to the door their friends had shuffled out of.

"I think your uncle and Assemblyman Ko was involved in Lee Man Ho's hit-and-run case," he sighed out, his voice clearer now as he looked up at Joon hwi. Joon hwi turned to him, finally looking at his best friend, but before he could jump to his uncle’s defense, Ji ho held both his hands out.

"When I left the office that night, it wasn't because of Lee Man Ho. I actually found someone that had the footage of the hit-and-run case he had witnessed."

"What?"

"Your uncle. It was your uncle Joon hwi," Ji ho softly said, hesitation coating his voice, "Your uncle was the one in the hit-and-run case.”

Joon hwi felt the same lethargic feeling climb up his body as he looked down at the man, his best friend telling him that the man he had idolized and loved, was the cause of all his pain. The cause of everything Sol A had been through. He could only blink back at Ji ho, his body frozen in shock, his mind too slow to process. The silence in the room stretched out as the tension was thick as ever.

“Look hear me out, okay? You don’t need to say anything right now, let me just,” Ji ho paused, looking up at him with pleading eyes. “Let me just explain.”

Joon hwi could only nod, as he took a seat, lest his body fail him more than it already has.

“For the past week, I’ve been going through your uncle’s older case files. I had to do quite a lot of digging for them, because for some reason these weren’t in the stacks that we could gather when we originally investigated. When I reached files around the time of the hit and run, there was a major gap. Not to mention, that your uncle struck up a friendship with Assemblyman Ko in that same period,” he paused, trying to catch his breath as his eyes scanned Joon hwi’s rigid face.

“After doing a little bit more detailed tracking of his locations and that days events I found that both your uncle and Assemblyman Ko was in the car together as they left the dinner. It’s the only reason why Lee Man Ho has been so elusive with you, because he knows your uncle was in the car with the Assemblyman. So, I tracked his steps back, and I found someone with the footage.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because,” Ji ho paused, looking into Joon hwi’s eyes. He bit his lip slightly, almost hesitating. “Because I needed to be sure it was him. I couldn’t tell you this news because I didn’t want you to re-live the pain of your uncle’s death and now, the death of who you thought your uncle to be.”

The room was dead quiet then, Joon hwi’s body and mind unable to process the death of what his uncle was to him. There was nothing said, because there’s nothing Ji ho could say to make this digestible for him. Nothing he could say to take back the truth of who Joon hwi’s uncle was.

“I need air. I’m going to all Ye-beom and Bok-gi to take over for me,” Joon hwi said as he abruptly stood up, his eyes not meeting Ji ho’s.

“Joon hwi—” Ji ho started, but it was of no use. The man had already stormed out, the hospital door slamming.

Joon hwi stood in the aisle of the corner store, his hands crumpled into fists at his side as he stared into the walls and walls of ramen. He had just called Ye-beom and Bok-gi, ensuring they took guard of Ji ho’s room before he marched out. Even though his whole world had crumbled in one conversation, he couldn’t bare it if something happened to Ji Ho. Joon hwi passed on the job without much fanfare, attempting at a thin veiled excuse of I’m a lot more tired than I thought I was.

Now, in front of him were rows and rows of colorful packets of ramen. The colors of the packaging blurred as Joon hwi stared intently at the packets, his body unable to move as his mind was still stunned from his best friend’s news.

When he was a kid, his uncle would take him to a convenience store, one that looked exactly like the one he was standing in right now. His uncle, laughing, would place him on his shoulders, making sure he could see every choice before making it.

Giggling, Joon hwi would choose the brightest one possible, and together, his uncle and him, would go home and make it together. Joon hwi would be placed on the kitchen counter, his young legs swinging into the cabinets as he watched his uncle do all the hard and dangerous steps, steps he wasn’t quite old enough to do by himself.

Sharing the sacred process of making and eating ramen together, his uncle making sure to ask Joon hwi about his studies, his days at school, learning everything that went on his life.

And when he would go to sleep on those weekends, he’d dream of wearing the mahogany robes of a prosecutor, just like his uncle. He would dream of laughing and appreciating his life, just like his uncle. And he’d dream that one day he’d be old enough to make the ramen by himself, at his uncle’s side rather than watching him do the steps.

But now he was tall enough to see all the colors of the packages. He was old enough to make the ramen without getting burned, without needing help. But in this moment, all he wished was to return to the blissful ignorance of a child. To have his uncle hold his hand, as he stirred the ramen and teach him every step.

He wished to have his uncle here, to hold his hand through every step. To tell him how to grapple with the fact that the man he idolized, the man he formed his ideals after, was human after all. To help him accept that his uncle was not the man he thought he was.

Joon hwi could only stand, looking into the aisles, as he felt like he was both five and thirty at the same time, looking into the same ramen packets but now from a completely different perspective.

The small chime of the store door rang, as another customer walked into the store, but it was only background noise to Joon hwi, his body still frozen in place. Still, he could make out the black cap of the customer move across the aisles into the one opposing his. His brain still slow, he couldn’t make the connection between the man’s face and his own memory until his eyes met the man’s eyes. The familiar sneering, kniving eyes. The eyes of Lee Man Ho.

As if his mind was jolted into reality, his body reacted, moving from his aisle. But he was a beat too late as Lee Man Ho had already taken off, running out the door of the convenience store and into the street.

Joon hwi ran after him into the street, adrenaline pumping through his veins. His legs couldn’t move fast enough, his body severely constrained by his office wear, but it didn’t matter. Despite the rounded alleyways and narrow streets, Joon hwi followed him, running as fast as his legs could carry him.

Lee Man ho twisted into the alleyway, the walls closing in on the both of them, until it led out into an street, leading all the way to some tunnel. With a new burst of energy, Joon hwi picked up his speed, his hands reaching out to push the rough material of the culprit. Lee Man ho stumbled, his pace ruined for long enough for Joon hwi to reach and swing, his fist connecting sickeningly against the body of this man. Lee Man ho twisted, now facing Joon hwi was he went in for a punch but Joon hwi ducked, stumbling back.

A calm rage washed over him as he sprung forward and swung again, this time his fist connecting with Lee Man Ho’s face. He recoiled, but sprung back to land a punch into Joon hwi’s gut, almost kneeling him over.

“Finally abandoned the law for this, huh Prosecutor?” Lee Man ho’s eyes narrowed as he flashed him a sickening smile, the dim street light glinting off of the metal in his teeth.

Joon hwi could only grunt in response, a hand going up to press into his gut as he stood up once again. He raced forward blindly, attempting for another hit, only for the man to dodge.

“Oh sorry, you’re a lawyer now, aren’t you,” Lee Man Ho sneered, and Joon hwi attempted again, just time kicking up at him. His foot connected with his body as Lee Man ho crumpled into the pavement.

Taking this opportunity, Joon hwi once again surged forward, caging Lee Man ho to the concrete road as he swung, his fist connecting to the man’s face. There was only adrenaline and anger, betrayal and rage, that flooded Joon hwi’s mind, the rationality leaving his body as he kept going. His knuckles screamed at the repeated contact, and his hands were now covered with the red, sticky blood of the man laying on the ground. There was no end to what he wanted to do to the man laying here, all the pain and rage and mistakes and hurt pouring out of him.

“Like uncle, like nephew,” Lee Man Ho laughed up at him, the taunting face now covered in blood and bruises. Tears blurred in his eyes as he slowed down, his punches becoming less frequent. Like uncle, like nephew.

Suddenly, a bright light tracks down the street, the sound of a car’s tires against the asphalt fills the empty night. Joon hwi turns, his mind suddenly distracted and Lee Man Ho takes his opportunity to push him off, stumbling up. His body was dragging, as he ran off, away from Joon hwi, away from the car.

Still, with bloodied hands, Joon hwi could only stumble back to the side of the road, away from the path of the car as he collapsed once more, his body crumpling down. The pain of his uncle’s betrayal was nothing compared to the guilt and pain of what he had just done. It only came crawling back into his soul, the pit in his stomach only deeper than ever.

The car rushed down the street, but oddly, it started slowing down, nearing where he sat against the side of the road before stopping fully. The bright light of the car shone into his eyes, only able to squint as someone got out of the driver’s seat, a figure approaching him. On instinct, Joon hwi crawled back, danger and warning bells ringing in his mind.

“Joon hwi?” an alarmed voice rang out, and Joon hwi jerked his head up to see Kang Sol tower over him, concern etched in her face. His Kang Sol. He could only blink at her, his mouth unable to form any words to greet her, to tell her what he’d done, to tell her what he is.

“Are you alright?” she asked him, her voice soothing as she knelt in front of him, her hands carefully placed around his jaw and his face, turning it in her hands to face her. Still, he blinked back.

Her gaze was so gentle, as if she knew. Her touch was so soft, her nimble hands cupping his face as if he deserved the kindness. Here was the woman he had wrongfully convicted, the woman he had almost put in jail, then taken back in as a lawyer to undo his own wrongdoing.

Like uncle, like nephew.

The thought raced through his mind as the tears fell from his eyes, his body shuddering with the withheld pain and anger. They only fell faster, as her hands moved against his waist to pull him to her, wrapping her arms around his exhausted form.

“I was– I was wrong, I was always wrong." he shuddered out the words, the tears choking him. His body shuddered again as he cried into her shoulder, the tears and pain wracking his body.

“My uncle. He was–” he started, but his mouth paused, unable to finish the sentence.

“Shh, I know, I know,” she soothed him, dragging him closer into her embrace.

“You know?” his voice cracked asking her, as he pulled away slightly to look at him.

“Bok-gi told me. Well, Ji ho told the both of them, concerned for you and Bok-gi called me to go look for you. I had to track your location through your phone,” Sol explained, her voice especially soft as she nervously shifted his hair out his eyes.

The pain only grew inside him, the tears still falling as he struggled to apologize, to explain, to say something to the woman in front of him.

“If I had based everything off of my uncle’s morals, the tenants of the law that he had taught me...” he paused, looking up at her, his eyes pleading her to tell him he’s wrong. “Then what if I’m wrong? What if I had been wrong this whole time, and... and every arrest and argument I made as a prosecutor was wrong?”

There was a silence that enveloped him, as he cried harder, his body shuddering at the thought that everything leading him was wrong. Everything he used as a guidance was wrong.

“You’re not your uncle, Joon hwi,” Sol told him, her voice firm as she looked at him. He peered into her eyes then, as she repeated the phrase to him, almost soothingly. “You’re acknowledging it, apologizing for it. Something your uncle never did. You’re not your uncle.”

Still, it wasn’t enough to override his mind as he lay there, in her embrace, the exhaustion preventing him from moving. And she stayed there, by his side, drawing him in as she repeated the soothing words. Until he was all run out of tears. Until his sadness gave into exhaustion.