#i dont hold back anymore
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disgusted with how much fucking anger my tiny ass body can hold
#for years i was a crying mess#now im polar opposite#i dont hold back anymore#any issues i deal with directly#rather be a complete fuckin bitch than a crying mess#tbh no matter what emotion im portraying people dont ever listen#this month fucking sucks#next month is the anniversary#all this and im doing it alone#i feel so fucking sick#put me out of my misery#tysm
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this one goes out to all the kids who had their brain chemistry altered by werehog sonic growing up 💪💪💪
#aka me#I HAVE POSTED ABT THAT RIGHT. HOW WEREHOG SONIC CHANGED MY LIFE. HE TRANSED MY GENDER AND MADE ME A FURRY. THE POWER HE HOLDS.#i actually dont think i would really call myself a furry anymore?? like i super was in my pre and early teens but its sorta passed?? and#hasnt rlly come back#i do want to get back into drawing anthros and whatnot but ajgjhj#ok i was gonna jsut title this as “freedom” or smth but no#my art#dungeon meshi#dunmeshi#lycion#havent been able to stop thinking abt him. him and fleki specifically. love those two so much.
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I am once again knitting which means I'm back to the Nein rewatch and happened to be on Midnight Espionage, and truly INSANE episode. The egg dick, both break-ins, the Zauber Spire attack, and the first time a beacon is on screen in like four hours flat. Trent Ikithon is there. The episode ends with Liam and Marisha yelling, "TRUST THE PORN."
#they dont make 'em like this anymore folks#honestly if you think the start of c2 is slow I trust that you hold that opinion but i do NOT understand#like yeah okay alfield is just basic dnd shit but you need a little of that#for PACING#literally the sheer quantity of plot that happens in this episode alone is wild#also very fun watching liam physically back away from the table in his chair realizing Trent is there#re: the comment this week iirc that he did NOT expect caleb's backstory to be so central#do you think that precisely was the moment he knew he done fucked up#cuz my guess is yes lmao#ANYWAY i did have to figure out what spell they used to attack the tower and I'm pretty sure it was gravity sinkhole#honestly pretty good for a fourth level spell! rip that dunamancer whos for sure gonna come to in like. hupperdook in fifteen years#i will not stop asking about the absolute trauma involved#with dying in this kind of assault and coming to in the next life in your enemy's military contractor town#insane concepts.#ANYWAY#megs rewatches c2
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every time I come on this app, and there's no new post from you, I feel deprived, sad and deserted.
it has gone from questioning your sanity to questioning mine, but despite how unhinged you are, you are now my tumblr comfort person (or so I think).
thanks man
This is such a relief to hear because I often worry I'm posting too much and spamming everyone's feed 😭❤️
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Surprise!🎉 Here I am back at it again making fanart for fics instead of finishing my own projects lmao
This is for @obsidiancreates cute and awesome rottmnt and TMNT 2012 crossover fic 'Out of the Shadows and into the Neon'!! U can read it right here!
Go read it go go go!! It's got turtle tots and found family and silly moments and sad times and everything. Go read it!! Shoo shoo it's good I prommy
#tmnt crossover#eueueue this is such a cute fic#tmnt 2012#rottmnt#the babies#the son boys🥺#im in a constant state of 🥺😭 and 👁️👁️ with this fic#OBSIDIAN I HOPE U LIKE IT!!#I LOVE UR FIC!!#unknown if i will make anymore Art for it my projects r really catching up to me LMAO#but dont hold me on any of that my hands make me a liar lol#i stared at SO many rottmnt references to get the rise fam right#why r they so hard to draw😭 especially splinter#lost several night 2 the ratman#tried changing my style too but alas it made my brain hurt#i had to go back and add stuff to this to make my brain stop screaming#slsksks#ill never let u go🌹(me to texture brushes)#rottmnt mikey#rottmnt leo#rottmnt casey jr#rottmnt splinter#turtle tots#splatter scribbles
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that one redacted confession that went something like "the werewolf boys aren't werewolfy enough!! where's the wolf at!!!" i hear you. i see you. i understand you now.
#maru holds the mic#redacted asmr#shaw pack#with my growing ... interest in david shaw. i see now.#PLEASE LET THEM BE MORE WEREWOLFY PLEASSEEEEEEEEEEEEE#I WANT SOME REAL FANTASY ACTION I WANT THEM TO BE A LITTLE WEIRD BC THEYRE WOLVES!!!!#dont worry shaw pack... ill save you.. ill make you more werewolf-y..#ESPECIALLY MILO.#BRINGING HIM BACK.#WHY HASN'T HE SHIFTED FOR SWEETHEART!!!!!!!!#im biting my fist so hard rn i can't even sleep anymore.
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ah, the trials and tribulations of alan alda's face
immediately get the nose right
meanwhile i am dying a slow death with this eyeball of his and the eyelashes thereupon
just so you know the equivalent for mike farrell is his eyes [easy] vs his lips [pain]
i do other art yes but i suffer from chronic 'cant accept putting real ppl in my cartoony style' so here we are gamers
#mash#mash 4077#bj hunnicutt#hawkeye pierce#mash fanart#mashblogging#mash art#work in progress#alan alda#mike farrell#m*a*s*h#its to the point where i am modelling my own damn eyes for these eyelashes man#i have similar colour and shape to mr. alda here so im voguing in my bathroom trying to get this shit done#i got longer lashes than he has though so either i'll fix that at the end or he'll be serving extra#unfortunately i dont have a mustache or else id be doing the same for monsieur farrell#my back pain is gone tho so i got that going for me#listening to chappell roan painting these idiots gazing heterosexually into eachotheres eyes#holding a human heart together. besties <3#update; bj and hawkeye just get to have beautiful fucking eyelashes this time#ive been here too long im not struggling anymore. they just get to be beautiful with their 50 lashes
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At the end of the world or the last thing I see You are never coming home, never coming home Never coming home, never coming home And all the things that you never ever told me And all the smiles that are ever going to haunt me
Never coming home, Never coming home
#tomioka giyuu#sabito#kny sabito#giyuu#sabigiyuu#sabito lives au#last light au (angst)#loserboy giyuu posting#fratboy sabito posting#neros art tag#i dont like the shading. whatever tho#they fought a lower moon and giyuu got a nasty hit to the stomach. angst ver the kakushi dont get there as fast & giyuu bleeds out#a quiet little 'i love you' and sabito frantically assuring him he loves him too. so much. so please dont *leave*#giyuu left a letter for him. detailed how much he appreciated him as a friend and a confession of everything he held back from#how badly he wanted to hold him as they fell asleep and wake every morning to his lopsided brighter-than-the-sun smile#how badly he wanted to reach out and hold his hand as they walked side by side#how badly he wanted- but always hesitating#sabito's inconsolable. now not only mourning what he had but what couldve been as well#once the grief abates hes just hollow. and he hates it so much. very grateful of tengen dragging them out for dinner & drinks after meetings#bringing back the vigi au coping mechanism- hes not ever happy anymore but he smiles and fakes it#not too much to make it obvious but not too little as to worry people- makes him feel somewhat like a person again#'ever get the feeling that youre never all alone?' giyuu never leaves him. always in his shadow#sometimes he catches glimpses of shadows in the corner of his eyes but always brushes it off- animals notice giyuu and dislike him for it-#tengen sometimes hears faint whispers- zenitsu hears two heartbeats- inosuke's always on edge around him
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@kiisuuumii (excerpt from [a former anorexic eating and a heavy sleeper waking])
#poeticstories#bitsofstarglow#twcpoetry#writerscreed#recognizingthevoiceless#poets community#poem#poetry#original poem#original poetry#☆#feeling 👎 this morning#the anxiety that im falling back into bad habits has me paralyzed#even though /i know/ im doing just fine#maybe eventually i'll post the full poem#bc theres a lot of emotion in it that i dont wanna hold in me anymore#its just incredibly long lmao
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guys help how do i get to lesson 41 really fast no glue no borax
#im aiming for world record pace /j#im on lesson 18 btw in case u were wondering. all my cards are js not enough like i cant skip my way through these fucking battles anymore#im stuck in the obey me limbo where i dont play the actual story and do everything else#i did this in regular obey me too and they got to lesson 80 before i even started lesson 21 like idk im a hardcore procrastinator#might be the LACK OF RED CARDS IM GETTING HOLDING ME BACK#anyways if u have any gamer tips let me know please please please#obey me#obey me shall we date#obey me swd#omswd#obey me nightbringer#obey me nb#om nb#sevyn's thoughts
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the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍
#struggling to tolerate this one ngl its fucking dire this weekend. i just cant do this man#thr things i would fucking do for attention please. just one person to notice and care in the slighest i feel like im losing my fucking#mind out here how does every single person who has ever mattered to me in my lifr see me in distress and choose to ignore it or maybe they#dont even recognise im ij distress in the first place i dont know whats worse i dont think i hide it well at all im just so done#listen like ultimately its fucking fine. i will get myself through it like ive gotten myself through everything else in my fuckijg life#i dont even feel bad that often these days im doing so so so much better and its so much more tolerable to only have to deal with this#once or twice a week instead of it being a struggle every single day like i dont think i could go back to feeling like that again ever i#dont know how i managed to get througyh it before jesus fucking christ. but i can deal with it i can deal with this#ik ill feel fine tomorrow. its just thr fact im so desperately fucking alone with it that makes it so much worse than it has to be#i fucking hate repression i hate being so incapable of expressing myself that its easier for me to injure myself than it is to talk about#how i feel to anyone i hate being trapped in this stupif fucking torture labyrinth and not knowing how to get out of it and never being#given a single avenue anything to hold onto i hate having to do it alone every single fucking time and when i do try i just freeze out#entirely i cant form a coherent thought my brain enters total fucking shutdown pure static white noise fuzz and i dont know why please#its so unfair i dont think its that much to want a little comfort. just once just for someone to stay with me while i cry it doesnt have#to be more than that i just dont want to be alone like this i just want to feel safe around someone just close to someone just once#and well ill survive without it bc i always have i guess. so far at least. and there are many things im grateful for and i do in general#feel pretty okay my life is pretty good at times even. i feel so pathetic and stupid and ashamed for even feeling like this#but do i have to go my entire life without ever experiencing any kind of real intimacy with another person emotionally that is#i mean physical is nice too and they go hand in hand in some ways but i just want to feel seen and safe over anything.im tired#i feel like i try.but not hard enough i know its all my fault really but i dont know how to try any harder but nothing will ever change if#i dont i cant expect anyone to do anything if i cant rven communicate in thr first place. oh i dont want to think about it anymore#i have a headache from crhing and its not even 8pm ugh. okay. well it is what it is.#ill breathe until i calm down and then tidy up whatever i left in the kitchen and get my work stuff ready for tmr#and polish my boots maybe. and read and go to bed at 9:30 i think. and ill feel fine in the morning#my fault for thinking about it earlier i know i shouldve nipped it earlier on its such an easy spiral to fall into i need to get better#it happens. okay anyway. no cause for concern im good guys. weakly thumbs up at the camera all covered in blood#my period is late actually thats probably all this is lmao. makes sense thinking abt it#cant wait for it to finally start and all earthly desire to leave my body so i never experience pain again amen#.vent#ignore this sorry for being mentally ill im not even that mentally ill anymore so no excuse rly ummmm. bit embarrassing innit.
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hi a while ago i read through your slay the savior au and really loved it!! and with the release of pristine cut and revisiting 100% of the game again i might do the same for your au!!! its really good!!! :D
ah gosh thank you!!!!! if you do go back for a reread, i hope you enjoy it!!!!!! its the first time ive finished a series like that ever so it holds a really special place in my heart. it makes me happy to know people like it :}
#basil answers#asks#transflynnscifo#holding myself back from writing anything pristine cut related for it. i told the story i set out to i dont need to do anymore.#if i do any more dont. look at me.#my will is only so strong.
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Sevenish Sentence Sunday!
I was tagged by @try-set-me-on-fire @eddiebabygirldiaz @fortheloveofbuddie @wikiangela @spotsandsocks @daffi-990 @jesuisici33 @rainbow-nerdss thank you 💜
Have some more of the Buck proposes to Natalia fic because i really like this bit even if this is on Eddie's pov just because Buck refused to let me get into his head for the actual fight because i really do like my tragically pining Eddie povs prev snippet
You need to move on. I have. Eddie doesn't know why he's thinking about that now. But he feels the same way he did in his kitchen trying to pretend he could feel like a normal human again if he just made it through a couple more days while Buck kept trying to get him to stop lying. Buck always knows when to call bullshit on what Eddie's saying. Buck's gonna call bullshit now. Eddie can see it in his eyes. And it's weird because Buck is never the one to pick a fight. But there's a fire in his gaze that leaves Eddie scared, if he's truly honest. Maybe he won't have to make it through the wedding because it seems like everything is about to crash and burn right now.
No pressure tagging 🩷: @sherlockcrossing @watchyourbuck @steadfastsaturnsrings @giddyupbuck @captain-hen @wildlife4life and you if you have something to share 💜💜
#writing#911 wip#buddie wip#anon made me do it fic#seven sentence sunday#buck picks a FIGHT#like dude is not holding back and he did not let get into his head#but this did allow me to play a bit with Eddie moving shifts#i didnt have to have someone tell buck i just wrote eddie talking with bobby#something about this fic is the only one who doesn't know eddie is in love him#actually is unclear is chim /knows/#Hen has confirmation because Eddie told Karen#Bobby just knows in his Bobby way#im going back and forth with chris#i dont wanna bring him into the fight but he's old enough to want answers as to why eddie and buck are fighting and buck is not#allowed in the house anymore#so like#this fic is a monster lol#i love it koaksaoksoaks#go drama
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Part 2 of WHO IS THAT GIRL AND WHY IS IT NOT ME.
#it baffles me how stars back then used to just#give their fans hugs#and hold them as if they knew them personally#AND HOW THEY WOULD JUST HANG OUT WITH THEM LIKE WHY DONT PEOPLE DO THAT ANYMORE#def leppard#joe elliott#phil collen#rick savage#and i think i see cute little steve behind phil in the first pic lol
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I'm already seeing people come to the conclusion that Loser was a shitty person to Winner all along but personally, and this is definitely biased because this is 1:1 what I theorized their backstory to be, I feel like this is the most neutral outcome without it being totally boring and nothingburger.
At the end of the day Loser didn't push Winner away out of jealousy or selfishness. He had his own goal and didn't consider his closest friend's feelings the closer he got to that goal. Which no doubt, is a sucky thing to do, but we only know one side of the story. Could easily be that Winner never spoke up until It was too late. I just don't think It's that black and white really
If there's anything we learned from the Winner and Clock arc, the intentions might be completely different than expected
#tpot 10#tpot 10 spoilers#tpot spoilers#i might have to draw a comic highlighting Loser's POV cuz that was my plan for one of the future goikytown chapters#but now its like. Canon. So I dont have to hold back anymore
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...
#being back in the lab is giving me whiplash#bc i like seeing all the ppl again. i like seeing my cultures again. but in the one class im taking im worried for the amount of reading#and discussing ill have to do. its going to b very obvious when im struggling to understand what im reading#and thats in addition to the reading ill have to do specific to my project. and my dad's like: ur mental health comes 1st. if it's too much#then step away but if i did that i really would be cutting the cord between myself and ever finishing in this program. ugh. how am i already#more tired than when i was getting up at 3 am and spending 8hrs on my feet?#and this morning. after 3 months of applications i finally have an interview for a government job.#so im like here going thru the motions of being a grad student but im still holding on to my way out#rn my ideal would be that i actually get this job im interviewing for bc it involves growing microbes for agricultural research and i want#to stay a microbiologist. but i would have enough time to finish out the semester before moving across the country yet again.#bc i dont wanna just leave bc i teach 2 lab sections but i dont think i wanna do this anymore#but hey it's only day 2. ive got plenty of time to change my mind#it just sucks and im tired#unrelated
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