#holding a human heart together. besties <3 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

csanflower · 1 year ago

Text

“you drew stars around my scars”

pairing: experimented on! jungkook x experimented on! reader

powers au!, childhood besties au!, patients au!

genre: angst, fluff, sfw

wc: 5.9k

synopsis: meeting jungkook was like gazing up at the brightest star in the sky as you lay helpless on the cold ground in the dark night. you both found comfort in one another. you healed each other as you suffered through painful experiments together. the pain was bearable, with him by your side. whenever he was around, your smiles were brighter, your shoulders were lighter, and all your worries just seemed to disappear in an instant. good things don’t last though. you learned that the hard way.

jungkook and y/n meet in the hospital both trying to be cured of their ‘disease’ (they have powers :O) and form memories along the way <3

tw: experiments on human (not detailed though), scars, gun

*inspired by ‘cardigan’ by taylor swift: “you drew stars around my scars” pls listen to it while u read this 🥹🥹(A/N: GONNA BE FIGHTING HARD FOR TICKETS TO ERAS TOUR THIS WEEK SO I WROTE THIS HOPING TO MANIFEST SOME TICKETS😭🙏🙏)

——

13 june, 2005

You monitored the pale, white room around you. White bed. White cupboard. White walls. You sighed in frustration. Your rainbow obsessed 7 year old brain screamed at you to add some colour to the walls. Note to self: Bring crayons to colour walls next time.

“Please…I will take care of her… don’t do this…”

Hearing the small familiar voice of your mother, your eyes lit up, and you climbed onto your white bed, propping your elbows onto the tiny window frame in the small room, peeking your small head out as you stared curiously into the other room. Your mother talking to a man in a white coat. They were having a serious conversation, and your mother seemed like she was about to cry. Why is mommy crying? Is she hurt? You thought to yourself, immediately jumping off the bed and running to the room next door to find your mother and comfort her.

The moment you entered the room your mother was in, you noticed she instantly wiped her tears away, trying to hide her tears from you.

“Hey sweetie, you like the room?” She plastered a smile on her face as she looked endearingly at you.

“It was alright. It could have more colour though. Next time I should bring my crayons and draw Bibi on it!” You let out a huge smile at the thought of Bibi, showing off your missing front tooth. Bibi was your imaginary friend. Picture a golden retriever, but covered in rainbows. Making friends were not exactly your specialty. For some reason, everyone called you a freak and did not want to talk to you, all because you were able to move things with your mind. And so you found comfort in your imaginary friend Bibi instead. He was the only one who understood you.

“Hey sweetheart, you’ll be staying here for a while, ok? It’s to make you better. Don’t worry, mommy will come back to visit when I can.” You could tell your mother was holding back her tears. It was the same face she made when daddy screamed at her and left us, or when she received a call that grandma died.

“W-why can’t mommy stay with me?” You felt tears brimming at your eyes as a sinking feeling appeared in your heart. You could feel that something bad was happening.

“Y/n, you are a danger to your mother. You need to stay here to get better-“ The doctor in the coat was cut off as I screamed out loud.

“NO! I WANT MY MOMMY! IM NOT GOING TO STAY HERE!” Your tears were overwhelming you as more people stomped into the room, grabbing your mother’s arms as she tried to grab you into her embrace. She had released her tears by now, sobbing uncontrollably. The people who stomped into the room grabbed her arms harshly, dragging her away from me and out of the door.

You felt your arms being pulled back by the doctor as you tried reaching out for your mother. You let out a frustrated scream, as your emotions ran rampage. The room around you started to shake and you unintentionally slammed everyone in the room against the hard wall — including your mother. Everyone except you fell hard to the ground as they hit the wall, all groaning in pain. You looked at your mother apologetically, then looked at your own hands in disgust. What have I done?

Your mother looks at you with one last glance, glossy eyes as she mouths to you ‘It’s ok, i love you’ The security people, as if unphased from the hit, immediately got up, containing their job as they dragged your mother forcefully out of the room. You didn’t dare to stop them. Not after what you did. You knew you were a monster.

“Do you see now, y/n? You’re a danger to everyone. If you want to be fixed, you will do the wise choice of cooperating with us so you can see your mother again.” The doctor got up slowly, looking at you with a cunning smile.

You gulped. You were scared. So, so scared and lonely. But you knew you had to do this. You had to get better. You had to make your mom proud. So you bravely nodded, agreeing to stay at the facility to get help.

—

2006

You never saw your mother again after that incident. You were unsure if she chose not to see you again because she thought you were a monster or if she was not allowed to visit you, but you sure hoped it was the latter.

You grew accustomed to the lifestyle. Everyday, your morning would be filled with ‘recreational activities’ like playing chess, but having to move the pieces with your mind, or doing basic commands with your powers that the doctors made you do. Afternoons were the worst. They would strap you into the terrifying pink chair in the ‘rainbow room’ and conduct experiments on your brain. For a room called ‘rainbow room’, it was certainly not full of rainbows. You would have to sit through hours of excruciating pain as the voices in your head overwhelmed you. There were so many needles, blood. But there was nothing you could do. None of the doctors cared for you. You had no one.

As time passed, you started getting used to the lifestyle. The food wasn’t bad, you had a chef that would make what you wanted, and servants that would get you what want. The only issue was the loneliness. You realised you were the only patient at the facility. Nobody ever talked to you. The guards, doctors and servants were not allowed to form a relationship with you. You had no one to talk to — except Bibi. But you knew Bibi wasn’t real. You weren’t a kid anymore - you had matured quickly from having to face the bitter reality. Bibi was merely your coping mechanism from the horrors of your daily life.

That was until he came along.

On 13 June, 2006, Jeon Jungkook, a 9 year old boy, was admitted into your facility exactly a year after your admittance. You were excited when you heard the news. You would finally have someone to talk to, someone to share your pain and to hang out with — a friend. Sadly, you did not hit it off as well as you expected it to. Jungkook was a shy, frightened boy, slightly shorter than you, eyes red and puffy probably from the amount of times he cried after being separated from his family. You felt for him. You were in the exact same situation as him a year ago, and you understood that he needed some private time to heal himself. He was definitely not in the mood for making friends. So you kept your distance for a while, not wanting to seem too desperate.

Until the night of his first experience in the ‘rainbow room’. You laid on your bed, reading the same book for the thousandth time as you sighed in boredom. Until you heard a sniffle in the hallway.

Curious, you stepped out of your room, not shocked to see Jungkook crouching into a little ball in the hallway outside his room, crying quietly. You could see the deep scars left on his left arm, the same ones you get daily from the experiments. You crouch down beside him softly, hesitantly patting his back as you tried to comfort him wordlessly. At first, he looked tense and uncomfortable at your touch, but he slowly eased into it as he saw the same scars on your arms. You inched closer to him, giving him a warm embrace as you cried together with him.

After that night, the two of you became closer. He realised that you were just like him. That he was not alone in his painful journey. And so started your friendship with Jungkook.

You soon realised Jungkook was more than a shy, frightened boy. He could be playful and kind at times, and he quickly became your close friend — more like only friend.

He painted your bleak childhood colourful with memories and fun moments. The two of you would make inside jokes about the staff there, laughing at how they always wore the same clothes and probably didn’t wash them, and joke over stupid things like whose powers were stronger or who was taller.

Yet despite all the jokes, the two of you placed deep trust in one another, comforting each other when the experiments got too harsh and painful, convincing each other that it would end some day. Mornings and afternoons of playfulness and fun ended in late nights of cuddling and crying together. This lifestyle became a norm for the two of you. But still it was tolerable, because you had each other.

—

2010

“Y/n, look what I found!” Jungkook ran into your room with a big, smug toothy grin on his face, hiding something behind his back.

“Did you finally find out where your room actually is? Because I’m starting to think you don’t know that since you’re always in my room.” You rolled your eyes playfully as you pretended not to be interested in what he actually brought.

His smile faltered for a second, processing your words, before he faked an angry frown, and pounced onto your bed that you were laying on, tickling you as revenge.

“Ok stop,” you giggled, “I was just kidding, tell me what you brought.” He finally stopped tickling you, pulling something from under his shirt behind his back, as he excitedly presented it to you.

You jaw dropped in shock as you immediately snatched it from his hand, staring at it in disbelief.

“That’s right! A full set of rainbow coloured crayons just for you!” Jungkook beamed with pride.

It was only the previous night that you admitted your obsession with rainbows to him, telling him stories about Bibi, and sharing about how you wished you could colour your room walls. You’ve been begging the workers for some sort of colour since you’ve arrived, but they never met your requests, saying that it was too “childish”. You couldn’t help but wonder how Jungkook managed to get it.

“I bet Bibi could have never gotten this for you, it just proved I’m a much better friend than him!”

You laughed at Jungkook’s statement. After telling him about Bibi, he had been so jealous that you had another friend other than him, even though you repeatedly told him numerous times that Bibi was an imaginary friend. However, you didn’t admit that you hadn’t talked to Bibi in a long time since you’d made friends with Jungkook. That would make his pride swell too much.

“How did you get it? The workers never ever let me get anything like this!” You were still in disbelief.

“Well, doctor choi has been wanting to do the new form of experiment on me since a few weeks back, and he said he would reward me with anything I wanted if I did it! So since I’m the bravest and coolest person ever, I did it today!” Jungkook said with a smug smile.

You frowned when you heard what he said. For the past few weeks, Jungkook had opposed greatly to doing the new format of experiments, since it was on a much larger scale than the previous experiments we had done. Our previous experiments usually ended in scars on our arms, but this new experiment was performed on the whole body. Jungkook had protested against it, because he was too afraid of needles. He had always been less receptive to pain than you. But why did he suddenly agree to do it today?

You looked down on Jungkook’s body, noticing new scars that were on his legs. He quickly tried covering them, saying, “It’s no big deal! It wasn’t even painful!”

You knew it had to be painful. The size of the scarring were just much larger than the usual. You pouted in guilt, hugging Jungkook tightly, “You didn’t have to do that! I bet it hurt so bad!”

“It’s fine, I just wanted to do something for you after all you’ve done for me…” He looked at you, face blushing slightly from your close proximity.

That night, the two of you didn’t sleep, colouring the plain walls with the crayons until dawn broke.

“Pfff. What is that supposed to be?” Jungkook muffled his laughter when he turned to see what you were drawing.

Frowning, you exclaimed, “It’s the galaxy! These are all the planets and all my beautiful stars!”

“Those are supposed to be stars?! They’re so ugly!” Jungkook joked with you.

You threw one of the crayons in his face, ignoring his comments. You didn’t care how ugly your drawing was, you loved seeing the sky and stars shining. Especially the stars. Stars were your favourite thing. Before you came here, you and your mother went stargazing every week, staring into the beautiful sky. Even though you probably would never be able to see them again since you weren’t allowed out of the building, you still held on to the hope that maybe one day you could have that chance again.

You stared at your galaxy for a while before turning over to Jungkook’s side to see what he was drawing.

You were shocked to realise that he was a much better artist than you. You inched closer to his side, smiling when you realised what he drew. A portrait of you and him together, on a lush green field, staring up into a sky full of stars. Although you never told him directly about your love for stars, you realised he must have guessed it from all the times you talked about them and tried drawing them. Your felt your heart beat a little bit faster at the thought of Jungkook being so attentive to your likes.

Your eyes trailed down to below the beautiful drawing to see a small writing below.

‘Y/n and Jungkook together forever!’

—

2015

As the years ticked by quickly, Jungkook started growing from a boy into a man. Once he hit puberty, he shot up like a tree and grew muscles. His featured became more defined and he grew out of his baby fat. You noticed that as Jungkook turned into a teenager, he had also turned more rebellious towards the workers, always unwilling to follow through their instructions and ending up getting punished. Yet he still stayed kind and sweet towards you, acting like the same 10 year old boy when he’s around you.

“One more time and we will not tolerate this anymore! You got it?”

Hearing the faint voice of doctor choi, you quietly get up from your bed and run to your door, peeking out softly, looking in the hallway.

Doctor Choi stood outside of Jungkook’s room in anger, scolding him. You could barely see Jungkook from your angle, only seeing half of his body.

“Ya, ya whatever. I won’t do it again.” Jungkook rolled his eyes and then slammed the door in Doctor Choi’s face, resulting in Doctor Choi stomping away in anger.

When you were sure Doctor Choi was out of sight, you quietly tip toed to Jungkook’s room, knocking on his door impatiently.

“What more do you want? I-“ Jungkook opened the door, annoyed.

When he saw you, he paused and his eyes softened.

“What did you do again? I was so worried when I couldn’t find you this morning! You have to start being more careful! These people have power over our entire lives! You can’t just act recklessly like this!” You immediately pushed past him and entered his room, sitting on his bed, as you looked at him angrily.

He carried a childishly guilty look, nervously scratching the back of his neck.

“I didn’t do anything bad! I just kind of sneaked out…”

“What!?? You tried sneaking out again?? Are you crazy? You could get into serious trouble-“

“I didn’t try, I did sneak out. I succeeded.” He said with a smug smirk on his face.

You paused your words in shock.

“Wait what? You sneaked out? Whats outside? Did you see the sky? How did you sneak out?” You bombarded him with questions.

He chickled slightly, sitting beside you in the bed.

“Chill, it’s mostly just greenery. But I found a really nice spot. I’ll take you there tonight.” He smiled gently at you.

You don’t know why you agreed with Jungkook’s ridiculous rebellious plan, but the thought of even a chance of being able to see the night sky again was just too tempting.

So now you and Jungkook were currently hiding in the vents, waiting for the right time to sneak out when nobody was looking. You sat rolled up in a circle beside Jungkook who looked noticeably more uncomfortable than you due to his size. The two of you were inches away from each other and you could feel your face heating up at the close proximity.

“This is really uncomfortable.” You muttered in the awkwardness.

He chuckled stating that it would be worth it.

Sure enough, he was right, as he usually was. When the workers were not looking, he quickly dragged you out of the vent as the two of you ran as quickly and quietly as you could to the spot he was talking about.

“Don’t open your eyes!” Jungkook placed his large hands over your eyes excitedly as he led you quietly to the spot.

You followed him blindly, placing your trust in him.

“OK! Open your eyes now!” You could hear the smile in his voice, excitedly opening your eyes.

When you peeled your eyes open, you stayed silent, in awe at the view you saw. The sky was pitch black, but the bright stars around twinkled in the dark. You felt like crying. You’ve been longing for this view for years. And now that you could see it in real life you didn’t know how to feel.

“I-It’s not the best view but I thought you would like it.” Jungkook said with a shy smile.

“It’s beautiful, Jungkook! I love it so much.” You were on the verge of tears, throwing yourself onto him as you embraced him tightly in gratitude.

You could feel him sigh in relief, hugging you back just as tightly.

“I’m glad you love it.”

The two of you sat on the field in silence, staring at the sky in awe. From your peripheral view, you noticed that Jungkook was looking at you the whole time.

“You should take a picture, it’ll last longer.” You joked with him as you turned to him momentarily.

“I really wish I could.” He replied.

You kept quietly, not expecting that response. The two of you stayed quiet for a while before you broke the silence.

“My mom used to bring me out to star gaze every week… I miss her so much.”

Jungkook looked at you in slight shock, not knowing how to reply. Though the two of you shared everything with each other, parents were not a topic you commonly discussed as it was pretty sensitive.

As silence engulfed the two of you again, you asked Jungkook, “Do you want a family when you grow up?”

“Yes, but only with the woman I love.” He stared intensely at you.

You looked back into his eyes, not knowing how to reply.

“Y/n, you are the one I lo-“

You cut him off quickly, pressing your finger onto his lips.

“Please don’t, I don’t think I can handle that.” You say apologetically, “I don’t deserve to be loved. My scars, they’re too ugly. I- I’m ugly. I don’t deserve love.” Your tears fumbled your words.

Jungkook’s eyebrows fumbled, his strong arms grabbing your arms gently, relentlessly pulling it towards him even as you tried your best to pull it away. He gently looked at your scars, rubbing onto them as he pulled them to his lips and kissed them gently.

“They’re beautiful y/n, everything about you is beautiful.”

Your tears started pouring as Jungkook looked at you with so much love and affection, kissing your ugly scars with so much care as if they were the most beautiful thing in the world.

“No they’re not, I can’t even look at them. It hurts, Jungkook. I hate everything about myself.” You leaned your head on his shoulders as you cried harder.

Jungkook hesitated for a moment, before grabbing something out from his pocket.

You almost laughed amidst your tears when you saw what he took out. A pink crayon. You remember giving that to him because you refused to use that colour in your drawings, stating that you hated that colour. (mostly because it was the colour of the chair in the rainbow room) As years passed and your crayons were used up, you never knew he had kept that crayon until this day, keeping it in his pocket like that.

You kept quiet as you watched him curiously. He grabbed your arms gently, drawing cute little stars around them.

“Look, now your arm is a cute little galaxy. It’s even more beautiful than the sky up there.” He smiled gently at you.

Looking at your arm now, you chuckled slightly as it did slightly resemble the universe above you. Jungkook used his fingers to wipe away the tears below your eyes.

“Since I kissed your scars, don’t you think you should kiss mine too?” He smirked.

You laughed, tears dissipating as you bent down and kissed the scars on his arm as well. You grabbed the pink crayon, drawing stars around his scars as well. You frowned when you realise his little universe didn’t look nearly as nice as yours.

“Wow you’re trying to make my scars uglier with your ugly stars.” He teased you.

This time, instead of throwing the crayon into his faces, you smiled endearingly as you leaned your head onto his chest, savouring as much as you could of this sweet moment.

“Jungkook… sorry for cutting you off just now. In fact, I-I actually love-“

Just as you were about to confess, you were suddenly interrupted.

“Jeon Jungkook! I told you no more sneaking out! This is it! You will be punished! Grab her!”

You felt yourself being pulled away from Jungkook’s side as two strong men grabbed both sides of your arms.

“Let go of me!” You tried pushing yourself off and using your powers but you were too weak after the experiments this week.

“Stop! Let go of her now!”

You’ve never seen Jungkook this mad before. Jungkook used his powers, twisting the heads of the two men holding you, making them crumble on the floor with blood gushing out of their eyes. You looked at Jungkook in shock.

Before you could run away, more men appeared, grabbing you once again, other men grabbing onto Jungkook.

At this point, you were a sobbing mess and the both of you were unable to escape since Jungkook’s powers were too weak from attacking the two men.

Jungkook was fuming, struggling in the grip of the two men, as he repeatedly shouted, “Don’t hurt her! Please! Let her go!”

You could feel yourself getting weaker as the men holding you placed a device onto your arm, draining your energy.

“This is your punishment, Jungkook. You’ll never see her again.”

That was the last thing you heard before you blacked out.

——

2016

You barely saw Jungkook again after that. They moved his room into another wing, and held his experiments elsewhere. You were back to 2005, lonely and depressed.

The only times you heard of Jungkook were through overhearing gossips from the workers.

“He caused a ruckus again, asking to see y/n. “

Your heart ached, longing to see him once again as well, and also concerned that he would be punished for being uncooperative.

You started focusing more on following the doctor’s instructions, with the hope that you could rid of your powers quickly so you could be released together with Jungkook. You were starting to see hope, everyday your powers were slightly diminishing and becoming weaker as you focused diligently during your experiments. Although as your powers grew weaker, you noticed you were becoming weaker as well. You’d lost a bit of weight and strength. But that didn’t falter you. You were too determined on losing your powers and escaping the facility.

Every morning, you would wake up to the fading drawing of you and Jungkook together watching the sky, bringing you back to the memory of that cursed night. Nights ended with you daydreaming on what could have been if you guys weren’t separated. You just wished you could have seen him one more time.

You didn’t know that your wish would have came true so soon.

It was 2am at night. You were lying on your bed, staring at the stars you had drawn on your ceiling with the crayons Jungkook gave years back. When someone entered your room quietly.

“Y/n, I have no time to explain. You have to come with me now.”

You looked up, shocked at the familiar voice. Sure enough, it was Jungkook in the flesh. He had an anxious look on his face, as if he was in a rush.

“W-what? How?” You didn’t know how to react after seeing him for the first time in so long. He looked the same from the last time you met him, except he grew buffer and more handsome. You looked at his arms, realising he still had pink stars that looked like the ones you drew around his scars. You assumed that he had traced over the stars when they started to fade so that they would stay intact. You let out a small smile at that.

He grabbed your wrist tightly, dragging you out of your room in a rush as he kept looking around for workers. You were still in a state of shock, unable to say a word as you followed him. When he was sure no one was in the hallway, he dragged you into the janitors room, closing the door.

He turned to you, glossy eyes looking at you as if you were the only thing that mattered in his life.

“I missed you so much.”

“Me too.”

The two of you stood in silence for a few seconds until Jungkook remembered why he came to find you.

“Look, y/n, we have a chance to escape. No, we need to escape. I found out something about the facility here. They have no plans to actually cure us, they can’t. They plan to have us stay here forever, to contain us and weaken us so we can’t escape. They’re afraid of us, y/n. And they can kill us at any time. They couldn’t kill us previously because the government did not allow it with the public watching. But with time passing, I overheard them saying that the public is forgetting and the government gave them the green light to kill us anytime we prove we’re a threat. We need to go, y/n.”

You knew this time it wasn’t a joke. Jungkook had never put on such a serious face before, and you could only nod at whatever he was saying. It was weird, the way you trusted him so easily. But he was the only person in your life who ever truly understood you and supported you. Maybe that was why you agreed to easily to whatever he said.

“W-when do we leave?” Your mind was still confused at how fast things were escalating. A moment ago you were just about to fall asleep, and now you were about to escape from the only place you’ve been in for the past few years of your life.

“Now.”

You followed him quietly as the two of you entered the vent you’d once been in. Memories of that horrible day came into your mind, but you pushed them away. Despite having an inkling that something about his plan could go wrong, you tried ignoring that thought, hoping it would be a success and that the two of you could actually leave together.

The two of you crawled through the vent, going a different route from the previous time. When he stopped abruptly, you stopped as well, waiting for his instructions. Looking down from the vent through the tiny holes, you realised you were above the main entrance of the building, the same entrance you and your mother had walked through the first time you entered.

You held your breath at the memory of that day. You hadn’t seen this door since that day in 2005 since it was always blocked off by guards and lots of protection. You felt heartbeat increase, maybe there really was hope at an escape.

“Ok on my signal you follow me and jump down, alright?” Jungkook turned around to look at you as he whispered. You nodded determinedly in response.

When Jungkook mouthed the word ‘now’ to you, he kicked off an opening on the vent and jumped down onto the floor as you followed along. As you jumped down, you stumbled slightly, but Jungkook caught you, steadying you with his arms.

“Hey! What do you think you’re doing?” The guards, who had been on break took notice of us and ran after us from a few meters away.

“Run!”

Jungkook grabbed your arm tightly, pulling you along with him as the two of you ran for your lives out of the building.

As you ran, you started panicking as all you could see around you were greenery. But then hope came again when you could see a town with people and buildings in the far distance. There was a chance the two of you could make it.

You ran harder, locking hands with Jungkook as you both ran towards the town.

Bang!

The sound of the gunshot resonated through the forest. You didn’t feel any pain. But that made you feel worse. Because you knew it was Jungkook that had been shot.

“Shit…” Jungkook groaned in pain as he grabbed onto his stomach, blood gushing out.

Despite the pain, he didn’t give up, dragging you to a blind spot in the forest behind a tree where no one could see the two of you.

You placed him gently on the floor as tears flowed down your eyes uncontrollably.

“No…no, please…” You muttered as you tried putting pressure on the wound.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. Go. Go without me.” He said with little energy.

“No! No… I’m not leaving you here.” At this point you could barely see anything, everything blurred from your tears.

“You have to go now y/n… please… I love you so much…” He said with tears.

“Sorry, y/n, I didn’t want to show you my new power this way, but I have no choice.” He said weakly.

You were confused for a moment, until he grabbed onto your arm and said, “You will run as fast as you can to the town there and not look back once. And you will never ever return to this place.”

Instantaneously after his command, your legs stood up without your will and ran towards the town.

“W-wait! Jungkook! I love you! Stop this now! Please! I’m begging you!”

Your words were no use, your legs following Jungkook’s command as you couldn’t even look back to give a final glance at him.

When you reached the town, you broke down on the street immediately, wanting to run back to help him, but you physically couldn’t.

2018

Healing was hard. Especially without Jungkook. But eventually you moved on, like you always do. After escaping, you found a small job as a cashier at a convenience store, becoming close friends with the old grandma who owned the store. Your income was not a lot, but it was enough for three meals a day and rent for a small apartment. You went on that way for about 2 years, until realising you were too lonely and needed a new companion. And so you adopted an 8 year old golden retriever who had previously been used for animal testing. The moment you saw the scars on his frail little body, you broke down and sobbed at the adoption drive in front of dozens of people. You knew at that moment that he was yours. You named him Jeon Bibi.

—

13 June, 2020

“Jeon Bibi! The park is this way, where are you bringing me to?” You chuckled at your dog’s cute behaviour as he excitedly dragged you away to the opposite direction of the park you usually walked to.

“Ok, ok you’re the boss, i’ll follow you.” You smile affectionally at him as you trail behind him, curious to find out where he was bringing you to.

When Bibi came to an abrupt stop, you realised that he stopped behind the tall silhouette of a man’s back. You looked up curiously at the man, wondering why Bibi brought you to him. The man whipped around when he felt Bibi sniffing his hands.

You felt your breath hitch as the familiar man turned around, staring deeply into your eyes. For a moment, time stopped. Your eyes turned glossy as years of memories flashed passed your mind in an instant, the walls you’ve built around your heart demolishing in a split second. Your eyes trailed from his slightly longer, curlier black hair down to his large brown doe eyes, and to his pink lips, adorning a new lip piercing. You brought your eyes down to his body, noticing he became even buffer and taller. Then your eyes reached his arms and you felt your heart stop, looking at the scars that you once rubbed, kissed, newly decorated by familiar stars that were now permanently inked onto his skin.

He seemed equally shocked as he stared at you, tears brimming his widened eyes.

You both didn’t move an inch, staring into each other’s eyes. You were the first to break the silence.

“I thought you said my stars were ugly.”

He broke into laughter amidst his tears at the fact that that was your first comment after meeting him. You could feel your heart squeeze at his laughter. God, you missed him so, so much. You found yourself laughing along to his contagious laughter. For a moment, it felt like the two of you were 10 again, laughing without any worries.

“Y/n, everything about you is beautiful, even your ugly stars.” He ceased his laughter, small smile on his face as he looked at you intensely, years of memories hidden behind those eyes.

He paused for a second, hesitating before confessing.

“Y/n, I love yo-“

Before he could finish, you cut him off by taking a step closer to him and smashing your lips against his. He instantly melted into the kiss, grabbing you tightly, scared you would be separated again. You hugged him back tighter, reassuring him that the two of you would stay together forever.

After all, he was your star, your salvation, the one who made you love your scars, the one taught you acceptance and love, the one who made living worth it.

A/N: I LOVE THIS STORY SO MUCH😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭Ifeel so attached to them i cant do this rn i’m so sad. if u don’t understand the last part basically he REMEMBERED THE SHAPE OF HER STARS AND GOT A TATTOO OF THEM EVEN THOUGH HE HATES NEEDLES OK 😭😭😭😭ok but actually this piece was a bit of a rush since i wanted to quickly post it before my great war so it may be a bit incomplete at parts ANYWAYS PRAY FOR MY GREAT TICKETING WAR TMR🙏🙏THANKS LOVELIES FOR READING and do give comments if u can because i love reading feedback <3

#jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook x reader #jjk x reader #jjk one shot #jungkook one shot #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #bts x reader #bts fluff #bts fics #jungkook fics #bts angst #jungkook au #bts hospital au #bts powers au #bts friends to lovers #bts childhood friends au

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weemssapphic · 1 year ago

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HEY QUEEN

How are you? Hope you're doing well

Could you write a Larissa x Reader fic based on "Two Ghosts" by Harry Styles?

Ps. Keep going on you're AMAZING I LOVE you fics

Kisses

HI BESTIE! I am doing well - I hope you are as well :) this song hurts so much 🥲 I hope you like the fic <3 hugs and kisses!

We’re not who we used to be

Larissa Weems x reader

Summary: Loving Larissa Weems has been the greatest privilege of your life. But sometimes, people change. And sometimes, love isn’t enough. (Songfic to “Two Ghosts” by Harry Styles)

Words: ~1.3k | ao3 link in title

Content/warnings: angst, hurt/no comfort, no happy ending, breakups/divorce

youtube

Same lips red, same eyes blue Same white shirt, couple more tattoos But it's not you and it's not me

One of the first things you’d noticed about Larissa when she’d walked into the Weathervane was the striking contrast of red lips against her pale skin - followed closely by the bright blue of her eyes, her gaze intense and all-consuming. You’d gotten so lost in her eyes that she’d had to repeat her order - large hot chocolate, hold the whipped cream - twice. You’d blushed so hard that, even years later, Larissa would tease you about it. The knowing smile you’d received in return had caused your heart to pound - it was the moment you knew you were fucked.

Every day Larissa would visit the Weathervane and order her hot chocolate, and every day you would draw a little heart on the cup. She would see it and smile, then she would lock eyes with you and wink. Then she would leave, returning the next day to do the same little dance. Until one day, when you’d written your number next to the heart - it was a bold move, but it was a chance you had to take. A chance that had paid off.

It had been Larissa’s turn to blush - she’d been so stunned that she didn’t even wink at you, just looked up in shock and left the Weathervane in a hurry. You’d have been heartbroken - if you hadn’t received a call from an unknown number not even 10 minutes later, asking in the most breathless, seductive tone if you’d like to go on a date on Friday.

Your relationship was bliss in those days. You’d stop by Nevermore after your morning shift to bring her a hot chocolate or a coffee and a pastry, always rewarded with a brilliant smile that reached her eyes and made her nose crinkle, and a tender kiss that would take both of your breaths away. In turn, you’d return home from a late shift at work to a massive bouquet of flowers waiting in front of your door - you’d call Larissa to say thank you and she would explain the meaning behind the flowers she’d chosen.

Getting to know the shapeshifting principal was the best thing that could’ve happened to you. You’d never felt so understood or so loved before, and you’d never loved someone so hard either. Within two years, you were married and had moved in together - calling Larissa Weems your wife felt surreal, the greatest privilege you’d ever been given.

The fridge light washes this room white Moon dances over your good side And this was all we used to need

On nights like this, you like to remember those early days. Nights where everything feels heavy, where Larissa is so close to you, yet so far away. She’s lying right next to you in bed, her eyes closed, her lips parted to let out deep breaths. Drool pools on the pillow under her head - you used to giggle at this. The ever professional, ever put-together principal of Nevermore Academy drooling on her pillow, her hair messy and her limbs tangled in the sheets.

Tonight, it makes your heart clench, because everything about her that used to be cute or beautiful or mesmerizing now just leaves you feeling hollow and craving a past you doubt you can ever go back to.

Moonlight dances across the side of her face and shoulder, illuminating her hair like a halo and making her milky, freckled skin glow. She looks so human, so flawed - the little dent at the tip of her nose is accentuated by the shadows, the scar by her top lip shines silver in the faint light, strands of long, platinum hair fall messily across her cheek - all things that used to make her even more radiant to you, and maybe they still do, a little, but mostly they just make you sad now.

We're not who we used to be We're not who we used to be We're just two ghosts standing in the place of you and me Trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat

You barely recognize Larissa anymore. The lovestruck, seductive girlfriend and sweet, thoughtful wife you’d once had was nowhere to be found.

Well… that was not entirely true. But the glimpses of that woman were few and far between, becoming less and less as time went on. It started with rescheduling dates - “I just have too much paperwork tonight, darling, we’ll go tomorrow - I promise. I’ll make it up to you.” And she did - at first.

Eventually, she simply stopped rescheduling. The dates were canceled and never made up for. Even worse, some dates were forgotten entirely. You’d gotten used to sitting alone at a restaurant, or waiting in your parked car in front of the movie theater. Waiting, waiting, waiting for a woman who would never come - a woman who sat behind her desk, pouring herself another glass of wine and scrolling through her emails, a woman who came home well after midnight, not bothering to press a kiss to your cheek anymore before settling in to sleep.

You know she feels guilty - you can see it in her eyes, in her apologetic smile, even in the almost timid way she moves around your home. You feel guilty, too - it’s not all her fault. You could’ve tried harder. You really should’ve tried harder. But now it feels too late, like the connection, the intimacy you once had has simply gotten lost somewhere along the way.

Back then, she’d just started out as principal - full of energy and passion. You’d just moved to Vermont, intent on getting your masters as you worked your way through school. But, like all things, life sometimes has other plans. Larissa is, first and foremost, married to her job. And you, you never made it past being a barista. You wonder sometimes if that’s the reason Larissa has fallen out of love with you - after all, to a woman fiercely climbing the ladder of success, your decision to be content working at a local cafe in a small town must make you seem silly and foolish.

She used to deny it. “I’ll love you no matter what, darling. Your job isn’t important to me, it’s your compassion, your generosity, your light that attracts me to you.”

She hasn’t said anything like that in a long time. Perhaps she’s changed her mind - just as you find you can no longer tolerate her late nights at Nevermore, can no longer stomach her weak excuses for spending more and more time away from you.

We're just two ghosts swimming in a glass half empty Trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat

Your eyes trace the soft curve of Larissa’s jaw, kissed by moonlight. You cannot help yourself - you reach over and tuck a stray platinum curl behind Larissa’s ear. There, that’s better, you think. Larissa’s nose twitches as she sleeps - once upon a time, that would have made your heart skip a beat. Now, it just causes a twinge of pain.

Pain, because your fingers brushing against the shell of her ear in this moment is the most you’ve touched her in weeks. She used to crave your touch - a soothing hand on the small of her back, a kiss pressed to her cheek, fingernails raking her scalp, your head resting against her shoulder. It grounds her, she’d told you, it makes her feel close to you.

Now she avoids it. She’s tired. She feels crowded. She feels overwhelmed. You ask her what you can do for her instead - she shrugs, she tells you there’s nothing you can do, she tells you she needs time. Time, time, time - you’re running out of time.

You lean in and press a feather-light kiss to Larissa’s nose, careful not to wake her. It’s the last nose-kiss you’ll ever give her - tomorrow morning, you’ll tell her you’re leaving.

I'm just trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat

Taglist: @alexusonfire @brienneswife @rosieathena @pro-weems-places @bigolgay @kimiinou @imprincipalweemspet @h-doodles @bychrissi @katie-bennet @giogwensversion @gela123 @friskyfisher @justcallmelittleone @michi2504 @scream-queenlover @a-queen-and-her-throne @sequoirius @anne-lister @winterfireblond @imgayforwoman69 @Ssappling2004 @yourlocaldisneyvillain @fictionalized-lesbian @i-like-reading @aemilia19 @milfsloverblog @missdowling @billiedeansbitch @The_Demon_of_your_Dream @agathaandgwenslesbian @http-sam @Cute-catx @saltrage @renravens @opheliauniverse @willowshadenox @m-0-mmy-l-0-ver33 @mysaviorfalsegod @thesamesweetie @theonefairygodmother @lvinhs @rainbow-hedgehog @sweetderacine @lilfartbox1 @daydream-cement @catechristiesstuff @im-a-carnivorous-plant @milfomaniac @sapphos-ode @mrs.prentiss @ilovetlcc @toutoubum @lesbiahonest24 @wastdstime

Join my taglist here! :)

#larissa weems x reader #larissa weems #larissa x reader #principal weems #principal weems x reader

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starleska · 1 month ago

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Close enough, welcome back Aardman blorbo 💖 Want that greasy weasel man’s entire biography on my dash my next week (/j, everybody roam free <3)

I have a stye…and Covid…and need to finish writing a whole dissertation on how This Blorbo’s Moral Character Is Good, Actually,…This Time bc a friend read an atrocities-ridden fanfic that unsettled her enough to haunt in her day-to-day life and just so happened to pick my blorbo’s moral character to assassinate in the process. <\3 c’est le vie. I know I’ll be okay though! I get real (read: more) pathetic when I’m ill and handcrafting how the besties perceive a fictional character is near impossible, but it’s all stuff that’ll pass sooner than later <3

I hope you’re doing well 💖 I can’t think of a subtler way to say it as Illness eats at my brain but I wanted to know if you’re okay and check in on you! I’m definitely loving these fictional lil guys (and some girls) you’ve been posting <3 they’re all so fun! I haven’t thought about Monika in so long! And I’ve never considered Victor Quartermaine like that before 👀 and I haven’t even HEARD of I. M. Meen but I’m holding your hand, we (you, me, whoever put him on the sexypedia) can be so brave about it together 💖 OH, AND when I was rapidly scrolling through my dash one day to get to the oldest new posts, and I saw nothing but straight up flashes of YYH for a minute….I knew, I KNEWWWW it was you. I didn’t even have to check. 😂 it was such a pleasant surprise. I need to watch YYH. It has such fun character designs.

bahahaha ahhhhh listen it may just be a passing crush but Victor Quartermaine is exactly the kind of bastard Tory my ancestors would yell at me for having a crush on, i can't be blamed 🙈🙈 oh no!!! sweetie are you feeling better? 🫂 COVID is no joke at all, i hope you are (or were if it's over - surely it is by now!!) hydrated and resting up 💖💖 so so sorry for how long it's taken me to get round to this ask - you know when you're severely burnt out and any message longer than a paragraph makes you want to cry, even when you love the person who sent it and really want to reply? 😭😭😭

ooh forgive me, i might be a bit confused (busy packing for a trip and my brain is egg-fried rice) - your pal read a fanfic with a different interpretation of a beloved character and you're looking to fix it? awww i'm so sorry!! 🫂💖 but hey, think of it this way: isn't it pretty marvellous that every human being is so different that they can see a character and have a totally different interpretation? i suppose it depends on what 'atrocities' covers 🙃💔 either way, i hope you're feeling less distressed now 💖💖 aww Lorelei you are such a treasure - thank you for checking in 🫂💖 i am doing a lot better!!! i've been doing a lot better after taking that break and being more conscious of the stuff i'm doing every day, both online and offline...real life is going super well :3c i'm going on a trip tomorrow which is really exciting!! dfghfd oh my god putting Monika, Victor, and I.M. Meen back-to-back makes me look so insane...but that's what we're about here on Tumblr dot com, no? 😉 YESSSSS oh my god you would love Yu Yu Hakusho, it's so so good!!! definitely dozens of pretty people in there to fall in love with...!!! Hiei and Kurama have had my heart since i was tiny 😳💖 giving you SO MANY HUGS!!! i love you to bits and miss you a bunch - no pressure on replying but i'd love to hear how you're doing :3c take care pal!!!

#starleskasks #long post

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plasmasimagination · 11 months ago

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haii i hope i could ask for a matchup :] genshin/hsr male!

im an afab female, chinese around 163-164 cm in height & i am an adult (under 25). im not sure if my looks matter but i have one dimple on my right cheek and one to the left side of my bottom lip, and i have very light skin. long dark brown hair (butterfly cut with bangs/fringe) and brown eyes. im quite thin but most of my weight goes to my thighs.

i like to learn instruments, and im the best at violin from all the instruments ive learned. i also like to learn new languages (im fluent in 3), and im decently good at my studies. despite that, i lack a massive amount of sleep because of exams ruining my sleep schedule (i end up sleeping at 11 pm and waking up at 2 am now). i dont like going outside often and crowds really take up my energy & make me anxious if im alone.

i tend to be super physically affectionate with my friends, and i have random habits of waving with both hands when im excited, and also bowing too much to elders or professors even though they keep on telling me to not do it so much 😭

people tend to tell me that i can be super quiet, but super sweet and tend to do big gestures that i think are very little and the bare minimum. i like to experiment! making new baking recipes and stuff, i love to bake.

im quite a people pleaser, and i also feel guilty when i receive gifts from people. im also mentally sensitive, and tend to cry easily (crying while i hug teachers on teacher’s day, seeing a dog walk alone in the streets, etc) and take words to heart unless people give me constant reassurance.

i have a soft spot for animals, they’re my #1 weakness and i always have a pack of treats in my bag whenever i go out just incase i meet some animals on the way to university.

my love language for giving is physical touch, quality time and words of affirmation, for receiving i love physical touch, acts of service and quality time!

i also like to cosplay ^^ even when i dont like crowds or being known, cosplaying is kind of like a little escape for me. i also like to play games on my free time, and i sometimes write my own music.

this is super long, im sorry 😭🙏🏻

HEYY sweettheartt

A/n- You seem so sweet omg 😭

Anyways onto the matchup machine!

Dan heng

Sweet girlfriend x quiet boyfriend

Two introverts that love spending time with each other

At first he was a bit indecisive and taken a back by your affectionate attitude, but soon got used to it and learned to reincorporate it

His love languages being quality time and acts of service is very known, so definitely expect more on those aspects

Also hes not usually very vocal about his love, but with you he lets a few cute words slip by

He finds your sensitivity quite cute, he thinks it makes you a lot more humane, and even though he's not the best comforter he does try his best by patting your back or trying to resolve whatever might've made you cry

Since his attitude and demeanor can be quite...distant, he will reassure you that he does love you and try showing it more than in the beginning of y'alls relationship

He's also a cat lover, so if you decide to get a cat one day, he will agree after a bit of convincing, and become besties with the cat afterwards

Xiao

Similar yet not very different, xiao.

Doesn't matter how you got together, what matters is that you're here now, and that he's putting every part of love he has in himself to show you that he loves you

He's distant, at first that is, but soon adapts to you, soon he's around you all the time and showing you love

Not very vocal about his love, prefers showing it through his actions, or by simply spending time with you

From time to time will also enjoy holding you, hugging you, smooching you.

Your personality gives him fate, something he's lost a long time ago, but got it awoken by you

Like the brightest star in the sky, his eyes light up when he hears the Letters of your name, as a breath catches in his throat, you've made him fall for you, even though the skies had other plans.

What a blessing it is to have a sweet thing like you by him

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clatoera · 2 years ago

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Do you think Cato and Clove also have hint of / tendency toward romantic relationship? Or just platonic / district partner thing?

What do you think about their thoughts when the rule change that 2 victors from the same district being announced?

Thank you :)

@curiousnonny

OH BESTIE I AM THE WRONG PERSON TO ASK THIS QUESTION L M A O

See that URL. Clato era baby. Not platonic clato and clove. CLATO FOR THE WIN BESTIE. I am EXCEEDINGLY Biased. I am NOT an unbiased source here. Naturally I read into this and im like oh yes. My ship. the actual star crossed lovers in my heart.

If Clato has 1000 fans I am one of them. If Clato has 10 fans I am one of them. If Clato has ONE fan it is me. IF Clato has no fans I am no longer on this earth. If the world is against Clato the world is against ME FR.

All that to say, for me it was in the book when she calls for him at the cornucopia and he ACTUALLY comes running and calls back for her. And when he does so, Katniss hears pain in his voice. When she turns around sees him kneel beside her, spear in hand, begging her to stay with him in a moment he will realize its futile??? Yeah. 14 year old me said oh thats love. Why else would he care so much. I choose to believe that why he holds her as she dies, begs her not to leave, and proceeds to put himself in harms way by sitting with her. And in the books CATO is the one who goes after Thresh. CATO kills him, and Katniss even knew it. She knew Cato was going to follow Thresh, not her.

There was one single night in all of the games where they thought they had a chance to go home together. Imagine the fucking JOY and the fucking PRIDE. The camera was on Katniss and Peeta, and the story is in her perspective, but i'd give just about anything to know how they reacted and that night from their perspective. Like years of training and mental prep to kill each other (which they knew going in, because they BOTH VOLUNTEERED. Don't let anyone tell you differently. Cato and Clove BOTH volunteered for the games with the intention to win. They probably had an agreement that they were the only one allowed to kill the other, and it would have to be a good show), all of a sudden they can just go home together. They can finish the games and go home.

And then fucking Thresh has to fuck shit up. Nah. Also let me have that scene, let me see Cato fucking DESTROY him, because I know it was bloody and brutal and glorious.

Fr. Team Clato Forever. I could talk about them for years. I have 20k words written on them just in 3 chapters. I am a Clato stan before I am a human being. I am proverbially shaking screaming throwing up violently about Clato at any given moment.

The wrong person to ask, the wrong tree to bark up if y'all wanted me to say platonic/district partners LOL.

XOXO

ClatoEra (Clato life)

Thank you @curiousnonny ❤️❤️❤️

#cato and clove #clato #clatoera fr guys #the hunger games #thg asks #clove kentwell #cato hadley #Noone touch me its my Clato time #i am a clato stan before a human being

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yukikorogashi · 11 months ago

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me trying to form words in my pudding mess of a brain rn more like call the heckin police and turn me in... bUT THAT BEING SAID. 2023's ending so it's time to scream !!!

hooboyyyyy where does one even start with becky ??? do i go back to when we first met what felt like decades ago? :0c perhaps i go back to when we were born, yea? EITHER WAY, from the day the world was blessed with your presence, it's been an EXCEPTIONALLY better place, and any of us who get to call you a friend (or even just an acquaintance) are so so sooooooo so so lucky! u.u i will never not be absolutely floored by the fact that i know someone so sweet and so selfless who i get to call a bestie and rely on for so many things... what did i do to deserve you ??? heck if i friggin know, man <3 all i do know is that i'm so grateful that i know you, and it forever means the entire world to me that you forgive my transgressions and continue to support me throughout all of my disasters; thank you

not only that, but you're one of my fave writing partners eternally !! <3 we've discussed this so many times, but i'm just so stoked that we can literally take ANY muses from ANY fandom and throw them together; doesn't matter who they are or how the interaction will work. we make it work !!! and EVERY single time, the dynamic is so incredible and always immediately full of depth that can be difficult to establish without the amount of dedication we put into it ;w; you are so insanely creative and talented, becky, and all of us who get to witness that are the lucky ones here <3 i'm always just squeaking and screeching on my end when i see anything from you on the dash; writing, art, headcanons, ooc posts... you bring such a liveliness and cheer, and i can't thank you enough for brightening my life!!!

i hope you have a fantastic end to 2023, and here's to 2024 treating you right <3

2023 is almost over!

With the final month of the year here, it’s your chance to send the mun or muse something you’ve wanted to tell them! Whether you haven’t had the chance to or you’ve been too shy, now’s the time to say what you feel, and don’t hold back!

Dang gir, if this is you struggling with words, then I can't wait to be further blown away when seeing you at your top game AUEHUAW!!!

BUT OKAY... OH LORD ALMIGHTY... HERE WE GO... OH WOW WHEE...

Not to be a broken record if not that stubborn returning tennis swerve, but DAMN-- where do I even start when it comes to the magnificence that is my bestie Sammy??? The day we met was truly the beginning of the one of the bestest things that could have ever happened to me. As one of the most gosh darn amazing human being on this very planet was going to end up being such a dear friend of mine. A friend whom I would readily defend with a shovel in hand, if ANYONE does her wrong in anyway! And to be loved so dearly and supported by her too is just... I'm just so lucky tbh. 😔 It's so funny how we both remain so floor and are constantly going "What did we do to deserve them???" @ one another, because lord knows I STILL keep wondering this myself. I just know that I likely did something right, to be blessed like this. 8^)

And, Sammy... you are a treasure... one of the most precious beings in the whole wide world to me... ;; For any rocky roads that we may end up needing to drive through... it's always worth it when we both fight to make it to the end together (... Gdi, I hope that actually made sense, ROFL!!! B-But I think you know what I mean, bestie!!! 😭 You have always been fantastic at deciphering my caveman talk too so AUWEHUAW!!!) And of course I will always support you and all the amazing things that you so generously bring to the table!!! Ya know I'm one of your biggest fans-- and heck, it's not like I'm sneakily fighting in the background with a few others over that number one fan spot so... 🤫

And oh gosh, no matter how many times you say that, catch me here with a hand over my heart! 😭❤️ You know YOU are one of my most favourite of writing partners (LIKE DUH!!!), forever and always! You are one of the most fun beans to scream to about anything, and truly-- the fact that we can take any muses from any fandom and throw them together like THAT really just shows how incredibly well we work together??? And honestly, I can't thank you enough, for always being such a wonderful plotting and writing buddy. Again, I really am one of the lucky ones, though. To work so well with honestly? One of the most talented dang writers I ever have the honour of knowing!!! You are always so fun to talk to about absolutely anything, and how enthusiastic you always are about anything I gotta share always means the world to me. And again, I hope I am able to return that all in some way and properly express how much I truly appreciate you! ;u; ❤️

Hey, I can't thank you enough for just being you, Sammy. For being such a constant blessing in my life over these years. Honestly, I'm just left speechless every time I take a step back to just look at the entirety of this beautiful friendship I have with you. I'm so lucky to know you, we are all so lucky to know you... I love you, gir. ❤️

Have a fantastic year end yourself, bestie! Thank you so much for taking the time to send this like homg-- And well, catch me here already looking forward to spending another year with you!!! Just holds your hands now!!! 😔❤️

@magnifiico ❤️💕

#magnifiico #❄️ THE SWEETEST THING ❄️#❄️ queue ❄️

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flanneryculp · 1 year ago

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hello!! i made a tb8 pinterest board if you’d like to check it out :) https://pin.it/2dGNdT9

THIS IS SO GOOD AND DETAILED, OH MY GOD?? going through your boards was an experience because sometimes you'd collect just the right quotes and pictures that would make me feel shrimp emotions and then you'd post a funny but very fitting meme in the same board and the whiplash is so real (in the best way. truly keeping up with the tonal style of tb8 lmao) i have Thoughts on every single section

halloween

so pretty! i especially like the picture that says one hundred thousand visceral human emotions, it reminds me of flan's monologue about adam losing his humanity and becoming just meat as she slaughtered him.

kate & adam

this isn't a dynamic i think about too often but this is so good!! rip kate, between garth and adam she's really had the worst luck with relationships hahah. honestly this made me think about how much he screwed her over, too, how upset kate was. i think it's really interesting how she acted at the end of the book, post-halloween. i've always wondered what she, in particular, thought about adam's death since he also broke her heart

flan & gabriel

awhh noo this hurt. the sweet handwritten messages, especially. also, i like the detail on how most of the pictures in the board, the guy was the one initiating and the girl was more passive. v fitting.

flan & adam

THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE SECTIONS!! the way the blood and screenshots about obsession and kissing comes together is just perfect. the "i don't deserve to die" picture is SO them, i read it in their voices.

flan & kate

i was really glad to see a section for them here, because imo they are one of the most underrated dynamics in the book!! 😭😭 THE "ME AND THE BESTIE" one is SO accurate i've never even thought about that before. and the one where they're looking out at the mountain. also, kate with red hair is so real!! honestly the pictures in her boards were really fitting to how i pictured her in the books

flan and natasha

I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO SAW FLAN/NATASHA AND JENNIFER/NEEDY PARALLELS!! i was watching jennifer's body for the first time around the same time i was reading tb8 for the first time and megan fox jennifer check permanently influenced how natasha looks in my mind.

THE LANA DEL REY LYRICS <3 <3 <3

in all of these pictures the theme i see really strongly is intimacy, the way they hold each other, laughing together. really accurate

the ones where they look out at the water hurt :( and the ones about mirror images

"i took care of that thing for you" and the shovel!!!!!!!

the devotion, the foreboding, the "anything you want, natasha"/"do something" energy from this board is fantastic.

flora habstat

she's so cute holding that pot!! i'd invite her to my dinner parties any day. also i do like the camera imagery associated with her. i'd never thought of that before, but it really fits considering she took The Picture, took pictures at the halloween party, and also was the one who got to be on tv.

adam state

the "peggy--satanic ritual victim" has all the right vibes--perfectly captured that late 90s tv energy. the bloodshot eyes, the bloodied shirt! perfect, perfect, perfect.

douglas wilde

loveeee all the black and white pictures here, really gets that film noir energy that douglas exudes. i love the "sorry girls, i'm gay" shirt--with that suit and vintage font! i would love to own that shirt irl lol. and the one with that guy entering the room, the one that's sort of blurry? so him. i can imagine him offering absinthe, for sure.

gabriel gallon

he is so sweet. THE PASTA TUMBLR SCREENSHOT is so real. and the flowers, awh :( i want to give him a hug

v___

the lucifer's daughter picture, yes!!! i adore the style you gave her, the vintage jewelry box and hotel room especially. so elegant

lily chandly

really love this interpretation of her, and the picture of crying :( also her hair looks so soft and neat here.

jennifer rose milton

she's so perfect!! i love how light and graceful everything is, definitely matches up with how i imagined her in the books. her perfect grades, the french crossword, so chic! i think jenn should get to throw rocks at people, as a treat.

kate gordon

surprised and delighted to see all the theater kid references in this! kate truly was born to play a starring role. love the touches of blue, and her freckles!!! <3 <3 the "you know what's wrong with me?" post just encapsulates her too.

natasha hyatt

the water/liquor bottle made me exhale aloud. and seeing marlene dietrich, all the books, yess! i also really like the bath one. the femme fatale of all time <3

flannery culp

flan's style is hard for me to get a clear mental picture of but this encapsulated it perfectly. I WANT HIM SO BADLY (I MIGHT BE LESBIAN) is possibly the most flan thing of all time. and the picture of "structure structure structure" with the static over it--!!!! how do you find these things? all the themes of anger and desperation. she is the most regular girl of all time <3

honestly this is one of my fave fanworks for tb8! thank you so much for sending this to me, i can't even imagine how long this must have taken. you seriously have an eye for this stuff. if you ever do more, tag me or send them to me! i love this so much <3

#fave #i'm sorry for all the rambling! this is seriously cool

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winterslibrary · 11 months ago

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i think it's about time i introduce my dearest bg3 daughter, miss vien! an absolute beauty, my little lady i love her so much it's insane. she's a high elf, she's a bard, she has terrible taste in men and friends and is everyone's favorite gossip girl.

and might or not be on the run. kind of. but let's start from the beginning, shall we? <3

while creating her i was thinking of her as a character i can write for, just how i create any other oc rather than "my game character" so. if i took any creative liberties it's because i really created her with "ohh i'm gonna write a fic with her" mindset 😭 now that this is said.

vien isn't even her real name. it's a nickname she uses! she doesn't use her actual name for certain reasons and, well, she quite likes "vien". it's nice, it's pretty and for sure holds better memories than her real name. (and i am gatekeeping it hehe)

her alignment is neutral good! she's a good person in nature, but when in unpleasant situation... like having a parasite in your head... she's more than willing to put her own survival on top of others. generally she cares about her survival plenty, so vien might sometimes refuse to help someone for her own sake. or make a questionable decision if it benefits her more (or her companions). but she's overall a massive sweetheart!!

she was originally born in an elven village, daughter of the village chief and was living a very good life. i like to think that she was often out hunting for food and things– not that she wanted very much– and because of that she's actually really good at archery. hunting might not be her favorite thing to do, but archery? oh, this one she loves. and besides, look, if she can't knock someone out with her violin, then she will shot someone with a stolen from a corpse bow.

like i said, she has terrible taste in men and friends because not only she fell for astarion! out of all people, but she also befriended bhyer "let's kill mystra she's an asshole" aka my friend's durge. vien please get better friends. i beg you.

(vien agrees that mystra is an asshole. but she also thinks that the tadpoles are enough of a problem already. there is no need to annoy a goddess. maybe later!)

speaking of astarion, accidentally i made him and vien... to be foils. they both have similiar stories– one's life ruined by an asshole and held captive for years, in terrible conditions but the difference is that vien managed to free herself. she ran away after 25 years of complete mistreatment, wandered around for some more time before she was rescued by a human couple and given a new place to live. given home. given hope for a better tomorrow. she received help from people, and although it wasn't a lot of them, it still gave her enough hope to fight and not give up, not lose the kindness in her heart. astarion... well. he didn't, unfortunately.

astarion and vien actually share more similiarities, but to unlock vien's tragic backstory to have to gain her trust and that is harder than gaining astarion's trust. i'm not joking. the only people that know what happened are wyll, astarion and bhyer. and only because astarion, wyll and vien were ambushed by the very same man that kindnapped her because, oh wow, he just can't let her go, even after all those years! yes i plan on writing some masquerade scene with these three aand that's probably when the ambush happens. she has to tell at least on surface level what happened (she tells astarion more later though) and she begs them to not make her talk about it to the rest of companions.

and bhyer... they just know. bhyer and vien are soulmates, after all. they just know, vien just told them, these two come in a set do not separate thank you!!

vien is good good besties with wyll. they danced together at least once, as simple friends because vien loves to dance and the camp had a moment of peace around the fireplace. she loves talking with gale! put them in one room together and they probably won't stop talking for the nearest fifteen minutes. she shares her favorite gossips with shadowheart and always asks her to let her do her hair. such long hair gives so many possible hairstyles and, frankly, vien loves braiding hair. hers or someone's, doesn't matter.

vien is a perfomer first, always entertaining people with her music and singing, with her pretty words and herself. she's a lady, high maintenance, she won't let just anyone woo her, especially to bed! and, by gods, something seems... off about her. but it's so hard to name anything specific and she's so nice, liked by everyone and trying to keep them all well. maybe it's fine.

(astarion, though, just knows something is very off. he can't tell if she's scheming something, some hidden agenda or anything, but something is up. because even the best perfomer can act for only this long.)

whew. she's a little silly. i want to shake her and even though she is one of the sanest and most normal people in this silly little group of weirdos, she still needs therapy. wheewww. i have so much more thoughts about her... @leftdestiny-posts special tag for you <3

#to the new beginning 𓆩⟡𓆪 the songbird #gale getting up from one knee: so... that is the deal with my orb. you can tell me to leave and i will.#bhyer already liking him: no you can stay #vien in the background: *in front of my godsdamn salad????*

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daechwitatamicrecs · 2 years ago

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Bestie I am DEEPLY anxious to read this based on these warnings and the posts you made during the writing process lol YOU BETTER MAKE IT BETTER NEXT CHAPTER, I AM HAVING FAITH IN THE PROCESS AS REQUESTED OKAY????

Oh no he’s running oh no oh no oh noooo

Oh he’s ABSOLUTELY lying about when his memory goes out. That’s not even a prediction. I just know lol

“let’s say I didn’t mean it” LET’S SAY THAT /EITHER ONE OF YOU/ FUNCTIONS LIKE AN ACTUAL HUMAN. FOR ONCE.

You swear you can see it in his eyes, the wall going back up. – this is where I took Emotional Wellness Break #1

Oh no oh no oh no not jimin wit the cold hard truth yiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiikes on biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiikes

“I fucking love you,” Jimin says. The words are so unexpected and voiced in a tone so fierce that a sob wracks your chest before you can hold it back. – Emotional Wellness Break #2 (these are fully not a joke lol I literally had to take breaks and I’m making you accountable for it)

M you better be fully prepared to buy me some sad girl ice cream. I’m waiting.

God that whole scene with jimin was so hard to read, I literally teared up at Emotional Wellness Break #2 no exaggeration, but so so so necessary and I’m so glad it happened.

“Yeah, I know who you are,” the guy in the hoodie retorts – OOF

You wonder if he can tell that he was right, that it happened anyway. – OOH, M STOP IT, MY HEART CANNOT TAKE PUNCH AFTER PUNCH LIKE THISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

You don’t think Jimin’s bark bark bark response had anything to do with the dog. – okay MAHYBE I laughed out loud at this but it does NOT MAKE EVERYTHING BETTER

For a split second you swore the two of you had figured it out – this WHOLE paragraph took me tf out, what you’re doing here is SO good and SO well done I just need to scream about it, someone hand me the tata mic I’ve got TIHNGS TO SAY

NOOOOOOOO SOMEONE /STOP HIM/ WHERE IS /HIS/ JIMIN I STG I WANT TO SHAKE THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Whatever it is you think I can give you, I promise you, I can’t.” -ahfjhakjfhaj hajhf OUCH I literally clutched my chest lmaoooo

Omg. Their conversation is KILLING me. I have a hand over my mouth and everything. Jesus christ.

Literally god bless jeon Jungkook

WELL OKAY Jungkook breathing with her through it made me actually cry and I had to stop so we’ll call that Emotional Wellness Break #3. As a panic attack haver, this was lol not entertaining to read but it WAS very well done and very important and I fully get the reasons and depth this brings to the story.

“When we were in LA, he said he loved me. And now he says it didn’t mean anything. That it’s over.” – I need you to know that I literally stopped reading here to go check my calendar and see if the problem is this FUCKING STORY or if this is one of my monthly cry about everything days

Omg no, I LOVE that she almost fucked it up again bc like…. That’s real life. Making the decision to do better doesn’t mean now you just do better every time. But also thank god he’s got the sense to tell her no.

Okay okay okay I LOVE the idea of her getting her shit slightly more together with her new bff Tiff.

Your eyes had scanned the crowd for his face when you got here, like they do in every room you walk into – with all the love in my heart and a fucking ton of respect….. fuck you for this line lmao

“I just want you to be happy,” he murmurs, and as he says it, his hand brushes yours for less than a second. – JIOFDJAAJFKASF FUCK./ emotional wellness break #4

Wufhashfanhfheug sigh. I need to process and wallow. Thank you for telling me not to read this before my birthday dinner lmfao I expect lots of Tiff next chapter please and thank you.

look down on me like that - 10 (explicit)

genre: slow burn enemies to lovers hatefucking coworkers au, smut, angst

pairing: yoongi x reader

summary: your asshole coworker min yoongi has made it his personal mission to ruin your life.

word count: 13.1k

contains: there are some serious mental health moments and topics discussed in this chapter (and not all of them handled well 😵‍💫) - this includes mentions of anxiety and su1c1dal ideation, reader experiencing a panic attack, and there's just like.... quite a lot of self-loathing, emotional constipation, and horrible choices being made all around. would also maybe say some hints at gaslighting if you squint. please take care of yourselves for this one 💜 and yes..... no smut warnings for this one 😬 sorry 😬

A/N: besties...... hold my hand and trust the process, mkay?

an eternal thank you to @haliiimede and @monimonimoon for betaing and for doing extra hand holding on this one because 😵‍💫 omg it's a lot and it was a lot to write lmao

read on AO3!

chapter nine | masterlist

~*~

The headache hits before you even open your eyes, like an ice pick driven straight through your skull.

You roll over with a soft groan of despair, burying your face between the pillows, reaching one arm out as far you can, as if in search of something. Your splayed fingertips only find the down comforter; it’s cool to the touch.

With the kind of deep inhale that can only be conjured by an early wake-up with a terrible hangover, you blink your eyes open, immediately squinting at the harsh morning light.

The bed is empty on the other side. You sit up slowly, shivering a little. The room feels unsteady around you.

You press your face into your hands, trying to wake up enough to think through your headache. Last night… Last night. It feels like a dream you’ll soon lose the details of. The Grammys, the afterparty, K-town. It doesn’t feel real.

Yoongi said he loves you.

Your stomach churns.

So where the fuck is he?

The sound of a drawer opening makes your head snap up, and you quickly kick the bedsheets off, trying to ignore the way the world tilts as you get to your feet and pad out into the living room.

Yoongi is kneeling beside his open suitcase, folding up the clothes he wore earlier in the weekend and carefully placing them inside. He reaches for his toiletries bag, zipped up on the couch next to him, and sets it atop the last stack of clothing.

“What are you doing?” you murmur, rubbing sleep from the corners of your eyes. The words slide together, almost gibberish. You think you might still be drunk.

“What does it look like I’m doing?” Yoongi mutters, taking a final once-over of the contents of his suitcase before zipping it shut. He gets to his feet, then stoops down to turn it upright and extend the handle. “I’ve got a car to the airport about to pull up downstairs.”

“I— what?” You shake your head, confused. You’re barely alive, let alone packed or ready to go. “It’s so early. Our flight’s not til this afternoon.”

He’s already crossing the room, grabbing his laptop off the desk to slide into his shoulder bag, then reaching for his watch. “I had a change of plans.”

“You what?” You don’t understand how you’re so far behind on this, especially given that you’re the one who’s supposed to have the schedule committed to memory.

Yoongi sighs as he turns to face you, still fiddling with his watch, clearly exasperated. It's only now that he’s held still long enough for you to realize he’s wearing his glasses. “I’m going to Tokyo for a few days to work with some talent. There’s a whole thread in your inbox about it. Feel free to read it at your leisure.”

The dry tone of his voice stings like a slap to the face, enough to make you recoil. You take an unsure step back. “Okay, when did this happen?”

He slow-blinks, and you can’t help feeling like you’ve somehow gone back in time, like you’re standing in front of him on your first day of work. Like he’s your enemy all over again.

“I’ve been up for a while,” Yoongi answers flatly. “Any more questions?”

Your back teeth stick together, tense. The room is too bright, Yoongi’s voice too loud, all of this happening too fast.

“Uh,” you start, less than eloquent. “Can we— talk?” Yoongi stares at you pointedly until you feel forced to continue. “About last night?”

“Let’s see.” He pretends to mull it over, and dread creeps up your spine.

“I lost at the Grammys, almost got in a fight, drank my body weight in alcohol. The last thing I remember is… barking.” You’d smile at the memory, but your lips are pulled too tight at the sour taste of his words. “I assume you dragged my drunk ass back here and I passed out, then I stumbled out of bed around four this morning and promptly became very well acquainted with the bathroom floor. Did I miss anything?”

The question punches an ache behind your ribs.

“Don’t fuck with me, Min Yoongi.” Your voice comes out weaker than you would’ve liked, but it’s getting hard to breathe.

“What else?” he asks, still going faster than you can keep up with. “I was an asshole? Gave you embarrassing intel you’ll be using as blackmail when we go back to work? I didn’t barf on your shoes, did I?”

Why is he asking you?

You bring a hand to your temple, trying to rub out your splitting headache so you can process his words. “Are you… telling me you don’t remember?”

There’s a flash of something in Yoongi’s eyes, and though he drops his gaze, he doesn’t quite manage to hide the way his face twists. “If I said anything, let’s just say I didn’t mean it.”

No. No, no, no. Your world goes spinning. He can’t do this.

There’s a lump in your throat, so thick you can scarcely breathe. You try to swallow around it. “Yoongi, what the fuck is happening right now?”

You swear you can see it in his eyes, the wall going back up. It’s infuriating: he’s right fucking there, yet suddenly somehow unreachable. Impenetrable.

“I am going to Tokyo,” he says simply. “You are… doing whatever you want.” You stare at him, overwhelmed and so fucking confused. He stares right back. “I can still upgrade your seat to first class. If that’s what you’re worried about.”

Some final thread snaps inside you, and your delayed anger finally kicks in. “You think that’s what I care about right now? I’m not your fucking charity case.”

He outright rolls his eyes. “Jesus. Forget I asked.”

As if to signal that the conversation is over, he slings his bag across his shoulder and heads for the door, suitcase in tow.

“Yoongi.” You hate the way your voice shakes when you say his name. He turns back to face you in the threshold, his expression unreadable.

You don’t know how to say it. You can’t say it.

“So what, then?” you try instead. “I’m just supposed to… forget it?”

That you said you love me? That I might have been ready to say it back?

His mouth pulls into a flat line, and for a moment, he doesn’t say anything at all. Each second of silence that passes feels like another twist of the knife lodged in your heart.

“Guess so.”

And just like that, the door is slamming shut behind him.

In your head, you chase after him. Yank open the hotel door, sprint down the hallway, call his name loud enough to stop him. You tell him everything that’s been building up inside of you, let all the ugly truths out for him to see, said aloud for the first time, undeniably real. He drops his bag in the hallway, grabs you, kisses you breathless. He stays.

But you can’t make yourself move. Can’t bear the thought of unzipping yourself right up the middle, standing in front of him with every last wall torn down, defenseless and asking for the worst hurt you can imagine. Life has taught you better than that.

Your knees hit the hotel carpet as the tears start to fall. In your head you might be brave, but here in the real world, you’re scared. Too scared to do anything but watch him leave.

~*~

“I’m so fucking confused, Mochi.”

You’re curled up on the couch in your living room with your face pressed into Jimin’s shoulder and his arms wrapped tight around you. Delirious from a thirteen hour flight and the time change, your suitcase still lying in the hallway by the front door where you dropped it. True to his word, your best friend showed up within the hour, a bottle of rosé and a pint of ice cream in tow.

There’s no room left to keep lying, to pretend you don’t care about Yoongi, that it doesn’t mean anything. Not when it hurts this bad, bad enough that it feels like you can’t fucking breathe. At least the tears have finally stopped, now that you’ve soaked a wet spot into the collar of Jimin’s sweatshirt.

To his credit, Jimin seems to find no joy in your meltdown, and you’re grateful for it. The last thing you need on top of all the pain is him gloating about being right. You both know he is, always has been. The things you spent so long trying to deny seem obvious now, in the harsh light of day, at the bottom of this emotional hangover.

Funny how that works.

When you pull away with a sniff, Jimin sighs a little and gently untangles himself from you to get to his feet. You bring a hand up to swipe at some of the wetness still stuck to your cheeks, then reach for the bottle of wine while he slips into the kitchen.

“How did you know I’d need this?” you ask as you twist open the screw top. Your throat is rubbed raw from exhaustion, and from so much fucking crying. “You had that little faith in shit working out?”

Jimin returns with two wine glasses and two spoons just as you ask the question, and he pauses in the threshold. The unsure look on his face makes your stomach twist. Your best friend never looks at you like that.

“I have to tell you something, babygirl.”

You can feel your chest starting to tighten again as he sinks back down onto the cushion next to you, gingerly taking the bottle from your hands to pour a little in each glass. It’s like he’s biding his time, trying to delay some sort of inevitable reality.

“Please just say it.” Your voice comes out in a thick whisper.

He thuds the bottle back onto the coffee table with another soft sigh. “I’m leaving Seoul.”

The words sweep over you like a tidal wave, heavy enough you drag you under to drown. “You’re… leaving?”

“Not forever,” Jimin says quickly, but the look on his face as he takes a sip from his glass is telling. “You remember the group I did the concert with?” His gaze flits over to catch your nod, and he continues.

“They booked a whole international tour. Asia, Europe, North and South America. It didn’t look like they were going to scout any new dancers, but then someone got injured last-minute and they personally called me to ask if I could cover. And it’s so short-notice but…”

There’s a fire in his eyes when he looks up at you again, all determined passion. “I just feel like this could be the opportunity I’ve been working so hard for. And Wonho has been so supportive and understanding about it. He helped talk me through it, reminded me how much I want this. So I said yes. And I’m going.”

You’re quiet for a moment, and you can only nod, trying to wrap your mind around it all. “For how long?”

He grimaces. “Six months, at least? Could be more if they decide to extend it.”

A fresh tear slides down your cheek before you can stop it. “Fuck, okay. Wow. When do you go?”

Jimin downs the rest of his wine, then finally answers. “I’ll be honest, the timing is bad. I really thought you’d be coming home with good news, so it would soften the blow a little.”

“Mochi,” you press him, more tears already threatening your waterline. You can feel your heart on the precipice of shattering into a million pieces— you just need him to fucking say it.

“Tonight’s my last night,” he admits.

There is a voice in your head that knows how you should respond. You should be enthusiastically happy for Jimin, and proud of him, and you are; you know deep down that you are. And you should be reacting to this unquestionably good news the way a best friend would: excited, screaming, hugging him, pouring another glass so you can toast to his success, telling him how great he’ll be.

But you’re sunk so deep in your own pain, you can’t help feeling… betrayed. Abandoned by your best friend, just when you need him most.

You set your wine glass down and press your face into your palms, trying to breathe, trying to stop the ache of a suppressed sob that squeezes tight in your throat.

“It’s not forever,” Jimin reiterates, and you know he’s trying to be kind, but you whip your head to look at him, suddenly aggravated. You can only imagine what he must see staring back at him: your glassy eyes gone red from crying, inset with deep shadows from exhaustion, tear tracks staining your cheeks.

“A little more notice would’ve been nice,” you respond as you pick your drink up again. The words come out harsh, jagged at the edges.

Jimin’s brows raise in clear surprise. “I’m sorry?”

The sweet wine goes bitter on your tongue, and you swallow it with a grimace. “I just think it’s interesting that you had all this fucking time to talk to your boyfriend about it, but not two seconds for the person who is supposedly your best friend.”

You can see a muscle tighten in his jaw. “Are you fucking serious right now?”

“Are you?”

“Do I really have to remind you what happened the last time we actually spent an evening together?” Jimin asks, and the razor-sharp tone to his voice already tells you that you’ve made a huge mistake, that you should’ve just choked all your bitter feelings down with your drink.

“Because in case you need help putting the pieces together, I believe you left me, alone, at some shitty dive that you specifically begged to go to. And maybe it hasn’t fucking occurred to you yet, but I was actually planning to ask what you thought that night, whether or not I should take the opportunity. Because I love my boyfriend, but you’re right, he’s not my best friend of a fucking decade. You are.”

Fuck. The weight of his words hits you like a truck. You drain the rest of your wine as he continues, relentless.

“And yet that was the night my best friend of a decade decided to ditch me to go hook up with a man she has consistently called an asshole since day one, and it made me wonder if maybe, just maybe, I deserved a little bit more in life. So I went home and told Wonho I wanted to take the job, and he supported me wholeheartedly. Even cooked me dinner to fucking celebrate. And now here we are.”

Jimin spreads his hands in front of him, palms up, as if to set the stage. “You are somehow shocked that the asshole you got yourself involved with turned around and acted… like an asshole. And I am off to go live the dreams that I have worked so hard for so long to finally achieve. Because as it turns out, we are a product of our own fucking choices. So tell me this, bestie: when are you going to take some fucking responsibility for yours?”

It’s only as you move to set your empty glass down that you realize your hands are shaking. It takes a concentrated effort to complete the motion, especially considering the way your eyes have started to blur with tears. You can feel deep, overwhelming shame stretching up from the pit of your stomach, like a black hole that threatens to suck you in entirely.

The sudden warmth of Jimin’s touch makes you flinch, and then you realize his hands are closing over yours, squeezing tight.

“Look at me,” he says hoarsely, and tears spill down your face as you do. You don’t know if you can take any more of his brutal honesty, but you figure you deserve it, so you brace yourself.

“I fucking love you,” Jimin says. The words are so unexpected and voiced in a tone so fierce that a sob wracks your chest before you can hold it back. He squeezes your hands tighter, and you try to return it. “You’re not just my best friend, you know that, right? You are my family. That will never, ever change. You could fucking kill someone, and I’d show up with bleach, two shovels, and a plan, okay?”

You laugh a little despite yourself, and you can feel Jimin’s thumbs brush gently over the backs of your hands. His voice is softer when he speaks again.

“I know shit has been really, really hard for you. For the last few years, and especially lately. But if I’m honest, it’s like you move through the world as if everything is just… happening to you, through no fault of your own. It makes it so fucking hard to root for you sometimes.”

You do your best to breathe through the sting of his words, and you nod, because you know he’s right.

“And that’s all I want to do,” Jimin stresses with another squeeze of your hands in his. “I want to be your personal fucking cheerleader, always, and not just because my ass would look great in the skirt. I know you are more than capable of getting your shit together, but it’s not going to happen if you don’t start taking some accountability for your own actions. And to be crystal clear, I am not a bad person for not wanting to sideline my own life while I wait for you to figure yours out.”

“You’re not,” you agree with a sniff and a small smile. “And I’m sorry for trying to make it about me.” You shake your head as you blink back a few more tears. “You deserve everything, Mochi, seriously. I don’t think there’s another person on the planet who would’ve put up with my shit for as long as you have.”

He rolls his eyes, despite the smile pulling up the corners of his mouth to match yours. “You make it sound like fucking charity work, come on. Have some self-respect! I don’t waste time on people who aren’t worth it.”

“I just thought you kept me around because I was the only person who could keep up with your drinking,” you admit, chasing the words with a giggle, and Jimin makes a face like you’re not wrong.

As if in response, he finally releases your hands, grabbing the wine bottle to top up your glasses.

“I really do wish I had better advice for you and your situation,” Jimin concludes on a heavy sigh as you both pick up your drinks. “But my already limited knowledge on Min Yoongi is also like fifteen years out of date, so all I can say is this: You got yourself into this mess, and I have full confidence that you can get yourself out. Even if it means cornering him and forcing him into a vulnerable conversation. It sounds like it will be great practice for both of you.”

You huff against the rim of your glass. “I have to figure out what the fuck to even say.”

“You will,” Jimin murmurs, his free hand alighting over yours for a final squeeze. “Just start with the truth.”

When your eyes find his again, you can feel your lower lip beginning to tremble. “God, I’m gonna miss you so fucking much.”

Clearly done with the dramatics, Jimin rolls his eyes. “I’m not dying, bitch! If anything it just means I’m going to text and call and FaceTime you more than I already do. Prepare to be sick of me.”

“I could never,” you tease, and he grabs a spoon off the coffee table, gently nudging it against your side.

“Come on, eat your sad girl ice cream before it melts.”

~*~

Even with Yoongi still in Tokyo, the thought of going back to the office and feigning normalcy feels impossible. You end up texting your boss to take a sick day, blaming it on the travel, and he responds quickly, telling you to rest up well and come in the day after.

But between the emotional overwhelm and the jet lag, sleep is hard to come by. You toss and turn, unable to doze off for more than a few minutes at a time, until you kick the blankets off in the early hours of the morning, sick of staring at the walls.

Your body moves as if on autopilot, and you pull your winter coat out of the closet to zip up over your sweats. You grab your phone and your house keys, then slip your feet into a pair of boots by the front door and step outside.

It’s cold, with the barest amount of dawn sun starting to bleed light and color across the horizon, but the fresh air feels good, like it’s easier to breathe in.

Hands shoved in your pockets, you make your way down the stairs to the entrance of your complex and begin to walk, aimless. You’re too fixated on everything whirling around in your mind to pay attention to where you’re headed, and it isn’t until you hear barking that you realize you’ve wandered your way to a neighborhood park down the street from your place, with a fenced-in area for owners to let their dogs run off leash.

It’s a nice place, even now in the dead of winter. You can’t help but wonder why you don’t come here more.

A voice snaps you out of your thoughts, and you blink slowly, your sleep-deprived brain taking several seconds to piece together why it sounds so familiar.

“Bam, Bam! Come here!”

A laugh of disbelief bubbles up in your chest as you take in the scene in front of you: it’s none other than your baby-faced coworker Jeon Jungkook, giggling high and sweet as a large brown Doberman jumps up on its hind legs to playfully tackle him. You recognize the dog as one he’s shown you pictures of, along with the two Italian greyhounds sprinting the length of the fenced-in area, clearly just as energetic as their owner, even at this ungodly hour.

You lean against the fence to watch them, and your heart sinks a little when the memory of your last conversation with Jungkook comes back. It occurs to you that this is probably what Jimin was talking about when he told you to start taking some accountability. But fuck, it’s certainly easier said than done.

You can see your breath in the cold air as you inhale deep and let it out again. Maybe you should just leave him alone, you determine. Turn around and walk home before he sees you.

But then, like the very thought is enough to trigger his awareness, Jungkook’s gaze flits up to meet yours. You wish his Baby Star Candy eyes weren’t so damn expressive— even several yards away, you can see a dozen different emotions flash over his face in the span of a few seconds.

Swallowing down the lump in your throat, you wave a hand in what you hope reads as a peaceful greeting. You’re surprised to see him begin to jog towards you, but even more surprised when someone else beats him to it.

“Can I help you?”

The person standing in front of you looks to be about Jungkook’s age, but immediately hits you with an aura so intimidating that you take a cautious step backwards. He has a black beanie pulled low over his dark hair, and his hands are shoved in the front pocket of his hoodie.

“Oh, sorry, I just, uh— Jungkook is… my coworker,” you offer dumbly, gesturing in Jungkook’s direction. Clearly thinking that they’re still playing, Bam keeps crossing in front of his owner, nearly tripping him up, and you can’t help smiling, watching him stop every few paces to redirect the dog.

“Yeah, I know who you are,” the guy in the hoodie retorts, and your gaze snaps back to him. “Don’t you think you’ve done enough damage?”

The question makes your jaw drop. “What?”

“I mean, seriously, what’s your plan here? Gonna lead him on some more and then tell him he’s not your boyfriend again?”

Your eyes threaten to pop out of your head just as Jungkook makes it over to the fence, Bam still nipping at his heels.

“Chan,” he quickly interjects, breathless. “It’s cool. Let me talk to her, okay?”

Chan eyes you up and down, disapproving, then takes a few steps back, his mouth pulled into an obvious scowl. “Yeah, alright. I’ll get the dogs.” You watch as he manages to divert Bam’s attention away with a well-timed ball throw.

Your mind still reeling from the interaction, you try to keep it together as Jungkook laughs, clearly slightly embarrassed. There’s an ache in your chest when you finally bring yourself to look him in the face.

“Sorry if he said anything to you,” he offers, looking back towards Chan, who is now entertaining all three of Jungkook’s dogs, plus a spaniel that must be his own. “Chan is a really good friend of mine, and he can be… protective.”

You huff a soft noise that comes out in a little cloud of steam. “It’s alright. I deserve it, honestly.”

“You don’t,” Jungkook says firmly, and you open your mouth to argue, but he speaks first. “Do you have a second? To talk?”

Uneasiness twists in the pit of your stomach. “I can talk,” you say, tentative. “But don’t let me interrupt. I think your friend already hates me enough.”

Jungkook shakes his head. “It’s cool. Chan and I always take the dogs for a run in the mornings. We’re just trying to get all their energy out, but we’re about to head back after this.” A smile spreads across your face before you can bite it back, and he quirks an eyebrow. “What?”

“You’re telling me you go on a run every morning before your six AM boxing class?”

A pink flush blooms in his cheeks that you can’t quite believe is from the cold. “Well, I guess I also have a lot of energy.”

“You’re superhuman,” you laugh, and Jungkook glances down as he smiles, like he’s suddenly gone shy. It’s enough to crack your heart right down the middle, and you can’t keep the words in any longer. “Jungkook, I am so fucking sorry. For what happened before.”

The smile drops off his face as he looks up again. “Don’t be. I was way out of line.”

You tear your gaze away from Jungkook, choosing instead to stare at the thin layer of frost beneath your boots as it all plays back in your head. As much as you wish you could just patch everything up and be friends again, you can’t ignore the truth of his feelings for you, and the way it complicates everything else.

But you can certainly relate to wanting to live in denial. To avoid an inconvenient truth.

“You were just trying to keep me from getting hurt,” you murmur. You wonder if he can tell that he was right, that it happened anyway.

“Yeah,” Jungkook admits, and you glance up to see him pause, considering. “But, you know,” he adds. “My own stuff was mixed in there too.”

“Yeah,” you echo, unsure of what else to say.

“I should’ve listened to you,” he continues with a sigh. “I should’ve been more honest. About how I was feeling. Am feeling. I don’t know.”

“It’s okay.” You do your best to shoot him a sympathetic look. “Trust me, I really do get it. And I shouldn’t have been so harsh. I was just– I’m in a really weird place right now. But it’s not an excuse.”

Jungkook nods slowly. “I appreciate that. It definitely… snapped me out of it.”

You can’t help grimacing. “I was a bitch, you can say it.”

“No, no!” he exclaims, but his mouth is already pulling into a smile. “I needed to hear it. Seriously.”

There’s a moment where neither of you speak, and you both gaze across the park, watching Chan as he does his best to tire the dogs out.

“Your sons are even cuter in person,” you finally say, and you hear Jungkook exhale a soft laugh.

“You can meet them if you want,” he offers.

You scrunch your nose up slightly as you turn back to him. “If your bodyguard will let me?”

He shrugs. “Nah, Chan’s fine.” You raise an eyebrow in disbelief, and he waves one hand dismissively, the other already working to fumble open the lock of the fence gate. “All bark and no bite.”

Your eyes roll back at the terrible joke, but you can’t help laughing, too. You really fucking missed this kid.

~*~

Not wanting to worsen your jet lag further, you force yourself to stay awake once you make it back to your apartment, determined to take the day to properly unpack from Los Angeles. The routine of putting your things away and dumping your clothes into the washer is enough to keep your hands busy, and your mind takes the opportunity to retrace back over everything that’s happened in the last few days. It’s all come at you so fast, you feel like you’ve barely had a second to breathe, let alone process everything.

Things with Jungkook feel okay again, but your heart weighs heavy with the understanding that your friendship won’t ever go back to the way it was before, not entirely. That dose of reality stings a little, but you know it’s for the best, for both of you.

The loss just makes you miss Jimin that much more, but you know he’s currently on a plane to Bangkok to go live his dreams: he’d texted you a picture of his airport fashion while you were at the park, and you’d sent back a father/son candid of Jungkook playing with Bam. You don’t think Jimin’s bark bark bark response had anything to do with the dog.

You’re grateful for the conversation you had with your best friend before he left, even though it was hard to hear. The thought of sorting this mess out on your own still fills you with dread, but you tell yourself that if Jimin believes you can do it, then maybe he’s right. He’s certainly been right about everything else.

And that thought just brings you right back to Yoongi. A heavy sigh washes over you when you carefully unpack the rented Grammys dress from your suitcase, and the memories of the weekend flood your mind in waves as you brush your hand down the velvet fabric.

For a split second you swore the two of you had figured it out, that there wasn’t just sex and hatred between you, but something more. But as soon as the idea had come into focus, that one sweet night where it all felt possible, you’d watched it slip right out of your fingers again, with Yoongi acting cold enough to make you question if maybe you’d made the whole thing up after all.

You can’t help wondering how the morning could’ve gone in another universe: one where he’d stayed a little longer, one where you’d been a little braver. If you could’ve maybe met in the middle, somehow.

He told you he loved you. The words repeat in your head, again and again, as you stare down at your borrowed dress. Drunk as you might have been, you know you didn’t imagine that part. You just wish you knew what you were supposed to do now.

With a thoughtful hum, you reach for the garment bag slung over your closet door, unzipping it so you can hang the dress back up inside. You guess this is what Jimin was talking about. A vulnerable conversation. At this point, it feels like the only thing you haven’t tried with Min Yoongi.

“No time like the present,” you murmur to yourself as you tug the zipper up.

~*~

Going back to the office the next day feels like jumping straight into the deep end. There’s plenty to get caught up on from the aftermath of the Grammys and the work days you missed while traveling. It takes you most of the day just to get through your inbox in the brief moments of downtime not spent running between conference rooms.

Your one beacon of hope is the reassurance that Yoongi is scheduled to be in Tokyo for the rest of the week. It gives you time to calm down, to focus on work undisturbed without anticipating him around every corner. You’ve got the weekend to plan out what you want to say, to prepare yourself to push past the fear and actually say it, all of it, out in the open.

The very thought makes your chest constrict, but you try to breathe through it. You’ve got time to figure it out, you tell yourself.

And then you glance up to see Min Yoongi pushing the glass office doors open, and you swear your heart stops beating.

“Yoongi.”

His name leaves your lips automatically while you attempt to try and process this as really happening. Your voice comes out soft, as if in fear that speaking too loud will make it all dissolve in front of you, or make him turn around and walk right back out again.

He doesn’t respond; his stride doesn’t even falter as he walks past your desk and rounds the corner, heading for his own office. Acting on sheer impulse, you get to your feet to follow after, catching up to him as he’s keying the code into his door lock.

“What are you doing back?” is all you can think to say. You can’t read any emotion on his face, save maybe exhaustion.

“The sessions went well,” he answers, not sounding particularly glad for it. “We finished ahead of schedule.”

“Oh,” you answer dumbly, and he pushes down the handle and steps into his lab. You catch the door before it swings shut again, taking a deep breath to steel yourself as you step inside. “Can we talk?”

With a grunt, Yoongi drops into his desk chair, tapping at his keyboard to wake his computer and log in. “Sure. I was going to ask you the same thing.”

His response surprises you enough that all you can manage is another, “Oh.” You cautiously close the distance between you until you’re standing beside his desk, your gaze sweeping over his unblinking profile. It strikes you that you haven’t actually planned out what you want to say to him. You thought you had more time.

“Uh, I guess you can go first, then.”

Yoongi’s eyes don’t move from his screen. “I think you were right. This was a bad idea.”

“I— what?” It takes you several seconds to piece together what he means. The night at the company happy hour, when he’d proposed that the two of you establish some kind of arrangement, you had said it was a bad idea. And then you’d followed him into the bathroom to say yes to it anyway.

But now he’s… changing his mind? Just like that?

“I think we should both just focus on work,” he says, as if it’s that easy. “And stop being so distracted.”

Distracted? Your gut twists. It’s suddenly hard to inhale, like all the air has been sucked out of the room. “So what, then?” you ask, hating that you can’t quite keep the emotion out of your voice. “It’s over? All of it?”

Yoongi’s gaze alights on you for a split second, then flits back to his screen. The realization makes you want to scream: he can’t even fucking look at you. His adam’s apple jumps in his throat as he swallows.

“Look,” he finally sighs. “Whatever it is you think I can give you, I promise you, I can’t.”

A flush of heat creeps up your neck. “What I think?!” you retort, still in disbelief. “You started this, Yoongi, all of this was your idea. And you’re the one who fucking said you l—” He winces as you cut yourself off, your throat constricting too tight to get the words out.

“I was drunk,” he murmurs, unconvincing.

You stare at him for a moment, stunned.

“You know what I think you were?” His gaze finds yours, and you spit the word at him. “Honest.” There’s a flicker of recognition in his face, and it spurs you on. “I think you told the truth for once in your life, without this weird ‘I don’t care about anything’ veneer, and it fucking terrified you.”

Yoongi shakes his head. His voice is soft when he speaks again, and a little uneven. “Don’t do that.”

“Do what?” you snap.

“Don’t act like you know me.”

You scoff, too angry to stop yourself, unable to bite back the urge to press him until he says something real. “You think I don’t? Really? I guess you just tell everyone you fuck about the time you almost jumped off a bridge?”

He flinches as he glances up at you again, and your heart drops like a lead weight at the look on his face. You immediately clap a hand to your mouth, as if in a too-late attempt to shove the words back in.

“Fuck, Yoongi,” you breathe. “I-I didn’t mean that, I’m just—”

All at once, he’s on his feet, moving towards you until you have no choice but to start walking backwards, in the direction of his office door.

“Here’s what I know.” Yoongi’s voice is firm and oddly calm as he speaks over your fumbled apologies. “I’m an asshole. I’m a workaholic. I’m way too hard on myself. I push people too far, and then I shut them all out. I’m never satisfied. I get bored easily.” He pauses for a moment. “And yes, sometimes I get so fucking sick of myself that I want to jump off a bridge. To put it bluntly, I am not somebody you want to be with. At all.”

Your breath hitches as your back finds purchase against the door, and Yoongi stops, still several paces apart from you. His dark eyes feel like they’re burning into you, glassy with emotion in a way you’ve only seen once before.

“We hooked up a few times,” he says, as if there’s no room for debate. “That’s all. It didn’t mean anything. And it’s over now.”

As his words crash into you, it occurs to you what this feeling is, itching like fire under your skin and squeezing tight at the muscles of your throat: you’re embarrassed.

It’s fucking embarrassing, standing here in an office you’ve been in dozens of times before, trying to beg a man you’re supposed to hate into a single honest conversation, into loving you when he already fucking said he did. Yoongi said he’s in love with you, and now he’s just… standing here, blinking at you like you’re somehow the unreasonable one for thinking that it meant anything at all.

“I guess you’re right,” you barely manage to choke out as your hand brushes over the door handle behind you. Your skin is flushed so hot that it feels cool against your palm. “You are a fucking asshole.”

You don’t wait around to see the look on his face at your remark. You just push the handle down and stumble out into the hallway.

When the Genius Lab door closes behind you, you slam back against it with enough force to knock the air out of your lungs. You press your palms to the wood grain and squeeze your eyes shut, trying to calm down, but that choked up feeling refuses to dissipate. The world feels like it’s closing in around you, white noise roaring so loudly in your ears you can scarcely think.

It takes you several seconds to realize that someone is speaking to you, and your eyes snap open again to find Jungkook standing in the hallway, his brow furrowed like he’s concerned. It’s hard to focus on him, like you can’t quite open your eyes wide enough. Black spots have started to dance in your vision, and you blink a few times, hoping to clear them out.

“Whoa, are you okay?”

You attempt to take in enough air to answer him, but all you can manage are shallow gasps: it’s like everything is stuck. You’re not even crying, you just can’t fucking breathe. The only response to his question that you can give is a slow shake of your head, and then your knees buckle.

Your brain must lose the ability to keep up with the pace of everything that’s happening, because suddenly you register that your palms are pressed flat to the office carpet. Jungkook is kneeling beside you, one hand smoothing circles against the back of your dress. You’re still heaving, trying to breathe, but your chest is squeezed so tight that it’s like it won’t take. You can feel your heartbeat behind your ribs, slamming so fast that it makes your whole body shake, and there’s a buzzing sensation in your fingertips, like TV static.

“Hey, hey.” You shut your eyes again and try to focus on Jungkook’s voice. “I think you’re having a panic attack.”

“I—” you gasp, but the words are stuck, too. I can’t breathe. I don’t know what’s happening. I think I’m dying.

“It’s okay,” he answers quickly, and you nod, as if it might force your mind to believe his words. “You’re okay. Just— I’m gonna breathe with you, okay?” You immediately shake your head, and Jungkook shifts a little closer. “I know it feels like you can’t right now. But look. We’re gonna go slow. In for four.”

I can’t fucking do this, you want to scream, but you dig your numb fingers into the carpet and try to follow his lead. You can hear him take a deep inhale through his nose, and you do your best to match it. One, two, three, four.

Jungkook’s voice comes back, stilted this time. “Hold it for seven.”

You nod, trying to focus on the feeling of the floor beneath you, his hand against your back. Your chest is spasming with a desperate need to keep hyperventilating, but you force the little air you’ve taken in to stay in your lungs, and you count. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.

“And out for eight.” You can hear Jungkook push a stream of air out of his mouth, and you echo it, though your own airflow feels pathetic in comparison. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

“Can we do that again?” he asks gently, and after a moment, you nod.

You go through the process again and again, and each time it gets a little easier, until you’re finally able to pull yourself up to sit back on your heels. Your head is spinning, your heart still hammering in your chest, but you try to focus on Jungkook, seated cross-legged next to you like he has all the time in the world.

“I think—” you start, and you have to take another breath in before you can get the rest of the words out. A dull ache is beginning to bloom in your temples. Your throat feels like sandpaper. But at least you can breathe. “I think I’m okay now.”

“There’s no rush. Just give it a second,” he says with a nod, and you do, flexing your hands in your lap to try and bring some feeling back.

“Where did you learn to do that?” you ask softly, and the corner of his mouth pulls up into a half-smile.

“My therapist taught me. I used to have really bad panic attacks. Still do, sometimes.”

You blink at him, trying to process the information. It never occurred to you that Baby Star Candy would be the kind of person to have a therapist, or any kind of mental health issues at all. Not when he seems so… well-adjusted.

“Do you need anything?” he offers. “Water?”

You shake your head, not quite ready to be left alone. “I just need this day to be over so I don’t have to fucking be here anymore,” you sigh.

Jungkook makes a face, as if in thought, then shrugs. “How about I drive you home?”

Your eyes widen in surprise. “I— I’m the keyholder, JK. It’s literally my first day back, I can’t just leave.”

“Where’s the key?” he asks, pulling himself up to standing in one smooth motion. Your legs feel shaky beneath you, and you gladly accept the hand he extends for support as you slowly right yourself next to him.

“It’s, uh—” you have to think for a second before it comes back to you, your brain still a little scrambled. You’d taken it back from your cover earlier this morning, and now it’s… “In my purse. On my desk.”

With that, Jungkook heads down the hallway towards your desk, and you follow after, slightly unsteady in your high heels. He stands to the side when he gets there first, like he doesn’t want to just dig through your things, and you reach for your purse to fish the key out of the bottom.

“Can I borrow that?” Jungkook asks, extending his palm. You pause for a second, then nervously drop the key into his hand.

Before you can even ask any follow-up questions, he’s disappearing back down the hallway. Your gaze lingers over your desk as you let another cautious breath out, and it feels like you’re moving in slow motion when you grab your laptop and slide it into your purse.

It seems like less than a minute before Jungkook returns again, rapping his knuckles against your desk. “You’re off the hook for tonight.”

“Really?” you ask, incredulous. “What did you do?”

He just shrugs. “Talked to your boss. Told him you weren’t feeling well and wanted to leave early. He said he’d lock up. It’s not a big deal to ask for help sometimes, you know.”

You blink, attempting to keep up, your reaction time slowed enough that it’s like you’re on a five second delay. “Thanks, Jungkook. I guess your therapist taught you that too, huh?”

Jungkook nods without a trace of shame. “Sure did. Now let’s get out of here.”

Nothing about the world around you feels real as you follow Jungkook into the elevator and down to the parking garage. It’s like floating through some strange dream, everything fuzzy and far away. You slip wordlessly into his passenger seat, and it’s only as he pulls out onto the city streets that a creeping sense of dread starts to dot up your spine.

This scene is too familiar, and that thought alone makes your mouth go dry. When you try to swallow, you can feel your throat threatening to constrict again.

“Jungkook,” you manage to choke out, and his eyes flit from the road to your face and back again.

“Everything okay?”

The silence in the car is suddenly deafening. “Can we, uh— put on some music? Just, anything?”

Jungkook looks a little cautious, like he doesn’t want to do too much too fast. “Are you sure?”

You nod, your eyes fluttering closed as you try to remember his stupid breathing pattern. “Please. I… need a distraction.”

“Okay. Sure,” he answers quickly, and you let out a ragged sigh of relief when he leans over to press a button and the car fills with upbeat pop. It takes you a second to place it, and then you blink your eyes open again as a laugh of surprise rips through you.

“Hype Boy, really?”

“What? This is a great song!” Jungkook’s already tapping his thumbs on the steering wheel in time to the beat. “I just learned the dance, too.”

You tip your head back against the seat with another soft giggle. “Sounds like somebody’s about to go viral on TikTok again.”

The two of you settle into silence, and you let yourself be distracted by the music, your brain still cotton-fuzz numb. You’re grateful that Jungkook doesn’t force conversation or babble on the way he normally does, instead choosing to hum along in a way that’s oddly comforting. You count your breaths and watch the city pass by in a blur, until all at once the car is coming to a stop at your apartment complex. The building seems to loom over you as you blink up through the windshield, one hand fumbling for the car door.

Up those stairs is the safety of your apartment. But now that you’re here, it doesn’t feel so reassuring. It’s not like there’s anyone waiting for you on the other side of your front door. No best friend to come over. It occurs to you now that you’re not ready to be alone just yet, but that’s exactly what you’ll be the minute you step out of Jungkook’s car.

The words leave your mouth before you have time to reconsider. “JK, do you want to come up for a bit?”

“Oh.” Jungkook is wide-eyed and blinking when you glance at him, like he wasn’t expecting the invitation. “Uh, yeah. Okay. For a bit.”

It’s a little funny, stepping inside your front door with Jungkook following after, the two of you slipping your shoes off in the hallway, then padding further in. You never pictured this happening, not even when he came to pick you up for Jimin’s concert.

Jungkook cautiously perches on the edge of the couch, like he’s not quite sure what to do with himself, while you continue into the kitchen, calling back over your shoulder. “Do you want something to drink? Water, tea?”

There’s a shuffling sound, like Jungkook is peeling out of his jacket. “Just, uh. Whatever you’re having, I guess.”

“Wine, then,” you answer.

You make short work of cracking open a bottle of red, then grab two glasses before returning to the living room and dropping down on the cushion next to Jungkook. His jacket is slung over the arm of the couch now, leaving him in his usual business casual uniform, a button-down and slacks.

“What a fucking day,” you sigh as you pour Jungkook a glass of wine, then one for yourself. “Thank you again, for… you know. Reminding me how to breathe.”

Jungkook still seems a little nervous as he reaches for his drink. “Yeah, of course.” There’s a moment of silence as you both take a sip, and then he speaks first. “Can I ask—“ he interrupts himself, as if making a correction. “I mean, I don’t want to pry. I know it’s not my business. At all.”

“You want to know why I had a panic attack in the middle of the office?” you offer, and he nods.

“Outside of Yoongi’s lab,” Jungkook finishes quietly, and your heart briefly stalls out at the mere mention of his name.

“It’s a good question,” you murmur as you stare at the liquid swirling in your glass. Jimin’s words suddenly come back to you in a whole new light. Start with the truth.

You glance up at Jungkook again. “Yoongi and I were…” You trail off, unsure what to even call it. Involved? Hooking up? Enemies with benefits? Nothing feels right. “We were something.”

“But not anymore?” Jungkook’s response is immediate. You shake your head.

“No, I guess not.” There’s a dull ache in your chest, like pressing on a fresh bruise, and you try to breathe through it, your gaze flitting down to the hem of your dress. “When we were in LA, he said he loved me. And now he says it didn’t mean anything. That it’s over.”

“Wow,” Jungkook huffs, sounding dazed and a little pissed off. “I’m sorry.”

“Yeah,” you sigh as you sink back against the couch cushion. “Me too.”

It all feels more real, now that you’ve said it out loud. Hurts just as fucking bad. Maybe worse. “And I’m sorry I lied to you. I should’ve just told you, but. I don’t know. I think I wanted to believe I had it all under control.” A sad laugh flutters out of your lungs. “Clearly, I do not.”

“It’s okay,” Jungkook says, and he pauses for a moment, placing his wine glass on the coffee table before he continues. “Were you— I mean, was it… the whole time?”

You pull your bottom lip between your teeth as you shrug. “Not the whole time, but. Most of it, I guess. It was like a weird slow burn thing.”

“Got it.”

When you glance over at Jungkook, there’s a distant look in his eyes, like he’s still processing everything. You suppose it’s probably a lot to hear all at once. It feels good to be honest with him after so much time spent keeping secrets. A heat starts to bloom in your face as you take another sip of wine, then set the glass down.

There must still be a lingering post-panic disconnect between your brain and your body, because all of a sudden you’re moving on sheer instinct, without giving it any thought at all. You drop back against the couch cushion again, then tilt yourself to the side until your head is pressed gently into Jungkook’s shoulder.

You wonder if you’re imagining the way he tenses slightly at the contact. You glance up at him through your lashes, but he’s not looking at you, and the expression on his face is hard to judge. There’s a faint scar on his cheek that you’ve never noticed before.

It could be so easy, you realize now. All he’d have to do is turn a little and close the distance. He could cup your jaw in his hand, tilt your chin up towards him, brush his lips against yours. Soft and sweet.

And maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. At least you wouldn’t be alone.

“It should have been you, Baby Goth,” you hear yourself say.

Silence weighs heavy in the air between you, and then Jungkook speaks.

“That’s not fair.”

It’s like the words snap you out of a trance. You jump back like you’ve just been burned, purposefully sliding over to put as much distance as you can between your bodies on the couch.

“I’m sorry,” you say reflexively, but Jungkook is still staring at the floor. His leg has begun to bounce, like a nervous tick.

“I don’t—” Jungkook starts, and then he pauses, taking a deep breath in before he begins the sentence again. “I don’t want… this. Not if… if it’s not real. Or just a rebound, or whatever.”

Shame rushes up in your chest, makes you hot all over. You can’t exactly say that he’s wrong, but the thought of a brief distraction from the pain was so promising. Now it’s only served to dig you in that much deeper.

“I’m sorry, Jungkook,” you repeat dumbly. You can feel your heartbeat hammering behind your ribs. “I shouldn’t have said that. I’m just… Fuck, I’m such a mess right now. I keep fucking everything up.”

His gaze finally drifts up to meet yours, and you’ve never seen him look more serious. “You know, Chan said something that stuck with me. When I told him about what happened. He said, ‘if she really wanted to be with you, she already would be.’”

The words hit you like a punch to the gut, and you recoil at the impact. You try to blink away the impending tears as you slowly nod. “Chan’s right,” you whisper, and Jungkook’s mouth pulls into a sad, flat grimace.

“Yeah,” he answers, his voice gone raw. “I thought so too.”

All at once, he’s on his feet and tugging his jacket back on, and you can only sit motionless and watch him. You press a finger to your waterline, trying to catch the tears before they start to spill down your face.

“I’m sorry you had a hard day,” Jungkook says, reaching up to adjust his collar. “And I really do want to be your friend. But I think I just need a little time.” He tucks his hands into the pockets of his jacket, turning over his shoulder to look at you, then quickly averting his gaze again. “We both do.”

“Yeah,” you sniff. “I want to be friends too. But, yeah. You’re right.”

Jungkook keeps his head down as he heads for the entryway. He slips his feet into his shoes, then swings the door open, pausing in the threshold for a final glance back towards you.

“Get some sleep,” he murmurs. You nod. And then the door clicks shut behind him.

~*~

Despite your best attempts and the rest of the bottle of wine, sleep doesn’t come. You stare up at the black of your bedroom ceiling, and it feels like staring at the rubble of every bridge you’ve burned. All from your own choices. The things you said that you shouldn’t have, the things you didn’t do that you should have. All your mess, and all your fault.

You keep your eyes open, because closing them is worse. Closing them is when it all comes back, a looping film strip in your head of everything that’s haunted you, played out in technicolor on the backs of your eyelids.

Extending a mug of coffee to Yoongi on your first day. Stealing food off Jimin’s plate at dinner. Splitting red bean buns with Jungkook.

And then it speeds up.

A locked office door, a stolen set of keys. A four digit code and a smirk. Your fingers gripping the edge of Yoongi’s desk. Dancing close with a dark-haired stranger in a packed club. Yoongi’s hands slipping up your thighs, closing over your throat. The flashing lights and noise of a concert. A full glass of whiskey. Standing outside of a bar in the cold night air. Rain on a windshield. A maple pastry and a paper coffee cup. Seoul lit up at night, cut through by the river. A hotel bed. Yoongi’s hands on the zipper of your dress. Yoongi’s hands on piano keys. Yoongi’s mouth on yours in a conference room, in his shower, in a K-town noraebang. His face pressed into your shoulder on the cab ride home.

And you see yourself, too. Running away. Saying the wrong thing. Fucking everything up, irreparably. Over and over, the movie replays.

Tears slip across the bridge of your nose as you turn onto your side, cheek pressed to the pillow, and wait for morning.

~*~

“There she is!”

Your boss’ greeting rings loud in your ears, and you wince as you duck your head through his office door. He gestures for you to have a seat in the chair across from his desk, and you comply. You can see him taking you in as you sit down, and when his smile falters slightly, you know why: there weren’t enough ice rollers in the world to completely de-puff your face after a sleepless night spent crying yourself dry.

“How are you feeling?” he asks, a little more gently.

You fold your hands in your lap and take a deep breath, willing the words not to get stuck in your throat. You can feel the tension in the room, your knife’s edge poised at the final cord to cut.

“I want you to know that I’ve really enjoyed my time working here,” you begin, doing your best to keep your voice even, squeezing your laced fingers tight to give your mind something to focus on. “But for personal reasons, I think I need to tender my resignation.”

Your boss sits back in his chair, clearly stunned. It takes him a second to recover. “I— wow. Can’t say I saw this coming.” He leans forward again. “It wasn’t something that happened here, was it? Because if we need to report an issue to HR, you should know I take that kind of thing very seriously. I’d hate to see you leave over something we could take care of.”

Another breath in, another squeeze of your hands in your lap. “No, it wasn’t,” you say firmly. “It’s just me. My own stuff. I think… I think maybe I need to leave Seoul for a bit.”

He pauses, considering your words, and you consider them, too. It isn’t a thought you were ever cognizant of having until this moment, but it doesn’t feel like a lie, either. It makes sense. You’ve snapped every tie that once might have kept you tethered to this city. There doesn’t feel like much point in staying, or like there’s anything still here for you.

“Well, good for you,” your boss finally says, his tone serious. “For knowing your own limits. Gotta be a human first, right?” You offer him a half-smile and a nod, and he leans forward to grab a pen off his desk, fiddling absentmindedly with it. “Thinking of going anywhere in particular?”

You shake your head, your smile turning self-conscious. “Hadn’t gotten that far.”

“If I’m overstepping, just tell me to shut up,” he starts, and you can’t help breathing out a laugh. “But you got some rave reviews from the Los Angeles team. Seriously, you blew them away. They asked if it was possible to clone you. Apparently they’ve been looking for an admin for a while, but can’t seem to find anyone who can walk the walk.”

Your eyes go wide as you begin to put the pieces together, and your boss just keeps going.

“I mean, it’s probably a bigger move than what you were looking for. Unless you’re really trying to get away. But you’re such a great asset, I’d love to keep you in the family, if we can.”

He looks at you pointedly, and you swallow around the sudden lump in your throat. “You… can do that?”

Your boss shrugs. “We’d have to get you a visa, but that’s easy enough with a specialty occupation lined up. And we can cover the fees for premium processing so it doesn’t take half a year. But only if it’s something you’re genuinely interested in. If you’re just trying to cut and run, I get it. No hard feelings.”

Your head goes spinning. Los Angeles. It’s about as far away from your mess of a life as you could possibly get. It feels too good to be true, and you drop your gaze to the floor as a tidal wave of guilt surges over you.

You hadn’t planned on this admission, but all at once, the words are coming out of your mouth.

“I lied,” you say, your voice soft, your eyes fixed firmly on the carpet. There’s no way you can look your boss in the face as the truth spills out of you. “On my job application. I don’t have any experience as an administrative assistant. I made it all up, and my reference was fake. I was actually a waitress before this.”

You finally manage a glance up. Your boss’ eyebrows are nearly at his hairline, but he’s quiet.

“It just… doesn’t seem fair to send me off to the Los Angeles team. Not when I don’t even know what I’m doing,” you conclude with an embarrassed grimace.

“You really feel like you don’t?”

His question makes you blink. You don’t know what you were expecting, but it certainly wasn’t that. You’re not sure how to respond.

He drops the pen in his hands to press his palms flat to the surface of his desk, as if he means business. “Look, obviously I can’t condone what you did. But I’ll be honest, if anything, that just makes me all the more impressed with your performance. I thought you adjusted quickly even for someone with past experience. To know you were flying blind…” He huffs a laugh of disbelief. “I mean, that’s a fucking crazy thing to do. But you did do it. I’ve seen you working your ass off to keep this office together. And that’s the thing: you have. You’ve met every deadline, kept up with every deliverable. You’ve taken everything we’ve thrown at you and handled it.”

You pull your bottom lip into your mouth, willing it to stop trembling. Fuck, you’d really thought you were done crying.

Your boss shakes his head as he continues. “Maybe if you’d just started, I’d feel differently about this. But I gotta be honest. When I look at your performance the past few months… I don’t give a fuck what your last job was. Because in this job, you’re killing it. And I know you’d do the same in Los Angeles, if you made the decision to go. They want you out there because they’ve already seen what you can do. They know it, and I know it. And I hope that some part of you knows it, too.”

A single tear rolls down your cheek, and you quickly reach up to swipe it away. “Thank you,” you choke out, your voice thick as you try to keep it together. “I seriously can’t tell you how much it means to hear that right now.”

He doesn’t respond right away, like he’s waiting for you to say more, and you take a shaky breath in as the decision solidifies in your head. “I really enjoyed my time with the Los Angeles team. And I would love to transfer there, if they’ll have me.”

Your boss’ mouth pulls into a smug smirk. “Please,” he says dryly. “As soon as they get wind of this, they’re going to beg me to ship you overnight.” You laugh as you dab at your eyes with the edge of your sleeve, and his face softens slightly. “I can’t do overnight. But do you think you can hang on for just a couple more weeks?”

You chase your nod with a gentle sniff. “Yeah. I think I can do that.”

~*~

Time passes quicker than you would’ve expected, split mostly between preparing for your transfer at work and trying to pack your life up into cardboard boxes at home. Apart from those two things, the days feel aimless, and a little unreal. It’s like you’re living in a liminal space, halfway between your old life and the promise of a new one. Your boss offers to hang onto the office key of his own accord, to give you more time to get your things in order, and you gratefully accept the help.

It’s a weird change, no longer having to worry about being the first one at the office and the last one out. No meeting Jungkook at the doors each morning. No fighting with Yoongi to get him to leave at the end of the day. You see relatively little of either of them, save for the occasional meeting or brush of shoulders in the hallway. You’d think losing both of them in one go might be unbearable if you didn’t already have your eyes on the horizon.

Your boss announces your upcoming transfer in the next team meeting, though Yoongi is naturally nowhere to be found. Jungkook’s eyes go as wide as you’ve ever seen them at the news, but he still slips out of the conference room immediately after the meeting wraps, rather than hanging back to talk to you.

You try not to take it personally; you can’t exactly blame him.

Life goes on. Your boss swings by your desk to excitedly share the news that your visa was approved, and you set a final transition date. You sort out the travel, the logistics of shipping your stuff, and lock down a place to sublet in Los Angeles to get you started. It’s admittedly shocking how easy it is to take your old life apart, piece by piece. To draft your escape plan, to run away from it all one final time. To make a clean break.

It’s nearly the end of your last workday in Seoul before you’re able to put a name to the feeling that’s begun to blossom in the pit of your stomach: it’s hope.

“Hey.” Your boss’ voice cuts through your concentration, and you glance up from your laptop to see him leaned up against your desk. “Can you walk to the break room with me for a second? Got a few last-minute questions for you.”

Your eyes go wide, your mind instantly racing, trying to think of what it is you might have forgotten.

“You’re not in trouble,” he says with a laugh, and you nod as you get to your feet, not quite able to believe it. “Just, uh, follow me and put on a happy face. Alright?”

You have no idea what he could possibly mean until you round the corner and a cheer rises up. The rest of your coworkers are standing around the break room in groups, like they’ve been waiting for you, though that doesn’t seem to have stopped them from already partaking in the assortment of food and drinks that’s been set up beside the vending machines. There’s a farewell banner pinned to the wall, signed with well-wishes from what looks to be everyone at the Seoul office, and someone’s turned on a playlist that you realize upon closer listen exclusively features songs about California.

There’s even a cake.

For a moment, you can’t do anything except stand there in the threshold, dumbfounded, as your coworkers clap and laugh.

“I— wow,” is all you can think to say, and you shoot your boss an incredulous look. “Thank you.”

He makes a face. “Hey, I didn’t do this. Thank JK.” Your boss nods across the room. “That kid loves any excuse to throw a party.”

Your heart immediately sinks at the mention, at all this kindness shown to you by the person you’ve arguably treated the worst.

It takes a while to get to him, with nearly every person wanting to stop you for a chat, but you finally manage to make your way over to where Jungkook is loading up a paper plate with so much food that it’s threatening to cave in.

“Make sure you get something to eat before it’s all gone,” he says by way of greeting, gesturing to the catering dishes with an elbow so he can keep both hands on his plate. “It’s really good.”

“Jungkook,” you say softly, and his gaze alights on you for a second before returning back to his food. You don’t think you’re imagining that he looks somewhat nervous. “I really can’t thank you enough. You didn’t have to do any of this.”

He shrugs, taking a few steps over to a nearby table, and you cautiously trail after him. “I didn’t,” he admits as he sets his plate down, then scoots a chair out. “But you deserve a good send-off. It takes a lot of guts to do what you’re doing.”

You shift nervously where you stand. “It’s either that or cowardice. I’ll let you know when I figure out which.”

A small smile tugs at his lips as he digs into his food, and you suddenly feel like you’ve overstayed your welcome. But then he glances up again, speaking through a mouthful. “Well, whatever it is. I hope it works out for you.”

“Thanks, JK.” You do your best to return his smile. “I hope so, too.”

By the time you grab your own plate, you’ve been swept into another group to answer an endless litany of questions about your move. You tell yourself it’s probably for the best to leave Jungkook alone anyway, so you try to stand there and smile, to assure your nosier coworkers that nothing happened; you just needed a change of scenery.

Eventually the conversation shifts, and you find yourself on the outskirts of it, more than a little relieved to no longer be in the hot seat. You sip politely at your drink and nod along, not really paying attention to whatever’s being said, until a tap on your shoulder makes you start, and you turn around.

You nearly drop your cup when you find Min Yoongi staring back at you.

Your eyes had scanned the crowd for his face when you got here, like they do in every room you walk into, but he wasn’t here. He wasn’t, you’re sure of it, and you honestly hadn’t expected him to show at all. Why would he?

But now here he is, standing in front of you, his dark eyes searching yours. And you have no idea what to say to him.

You might be face-to-face in a crowded break room, but he still feels unreachable, like he’s a thousand miles away from you. It occurs to you that after today he’ll be much, much further.

Your lips part, but you can’t get the words out. You don’t even know where to begin. But then he speaks first.

“I just want you to be happy,” he murmurs, and as he says it, his hand brushes yours for less than a second. It’s a touch so brief, so imperceptible, that anyone else would think it was an accident. But you know better.

Yoongi pauses, as if to take one final look at you, and then he slips between two groups of your chatting coworkers, and you lose sight of him again. As if he was never there at all. It’s like you can feel your heart drop to your feet and shatter against the linoleum floor.

It hurts just as much as it did before— watching him walk away, not having the guts to stop him. Even if you did, you know you’d find a way to fuck it up, the way you always do. So you say nothing. Do nothing. The party turns to white noise in your ears as you stare down at the liquid in your cheap plastic cup. And then it hits you all at once: you need to get out of here.

You’re able to slip out of the break room unnoticed, dropping your drink in a trashcan on the way out. You move down the hallway on unsteady legs, and you don’t stop until your hands are pressed flat to the bathroom door to push it open. Shouldering into a stall, you can barely fumble the lock closed behind you before the tears start to spill over.

You don’t try to hold them in. You just slump against the door and let it all pour out of you. You cry until your throat goes thick, until a muted thud blooms at the back of your skull, until you find yourself distantly wondering if you’ll ever stop crying. You’re so fucking sick of crying.

Occasional groups of coworkers drift into the bathroom, and you stifle your sounds each time to avoid detection, your cheek pressed to the stall door as you wait to hear them trickle out again. The interruptions get further and further apart until there’s a long stretch of silence, and your hands shake slightly as you slip the lock open to make your way out to the sink.

The face looking back at you in the mirror is not a pretty sight, all puffy and tear-stained, your makeup a disaster. You reach for a paper towel to try and clean yourself up, and then the bathroom door creaks open a few inches, just enough for Jungkook to stick his head through the gap.

You can’t help smiling a little at his unexpected presence, though it’s more of a grimace, considering you know full well how awful you look right now. “Hey, JK.”

He blinks, eyes widening as he takes in your current state. “I know I’m not supposed to be in here, but… are you okay?”

The laugh you manage is all self-pity. “Kind of a loaded question.”

Jungkook nudges the door open with his foot, and you realize his hands are preoccupied with two paper plates. “Everyone’s gone; I was just cleaning up,” he explains. “I brought cake.”

“Thanks,” you say softly, watching his reflection in the bathroom mirror as he steps inside.

After a moment of internal debate, you turn to press your back to the sink, flattening your palms against the counter and hopping up to sit on it. Jungkook sets the plates between you before following suit, his long legs dangling over the edge of the marble surface. He reaches into his shirt pocket to retrieve two plastic forks, performing the motion with just enough flourish to make you really laugh as he hands you one with a shy smile.

The two of you take your first bites in silence, save for your own sniffling.

“This cake is really good,” you murmur as you chew.

A longer pause settles between you, and you find yourself relieved for the quiet. You figure Jungkook doesn’t need to ask the obvious question, that he’s perfectly capable of putting the pieces together as to what might’ve led you to lock yourself in the bathroom and cry all your makeup off. And any words of comfort he could’ve once offered would only make you feel like even more of a monster right now.

Jungkook has already finished his slice of cake by the time he speaks again. “Did you… hate the party?”

“No, JK,” you respond immediately, the corner of your mouth pulling up in a sad half-smile. “It was wonderful.” Guilt gnaws at the edges of your conscience, and you can’t help but question what you ever did to be worthy of this friendship. Of Jungkook’s kindness, given freely, even when you didn’t deserve it. “Seriously, thank you. For everything.”

“You’re welcome,” he answers. You look down just in time to see him extend a leg so he can gently tap his foot against yours. His voice is quieter when it comes back. “I’m really gonna miss you.”

“I’m gonna miss you too,” you echo, glancing up at him as you return his foot tap with one of your own. “But you’ll be alright.”

Jungkook’s gaze drifts down to the floor, and he nods as you take another bite of cake, his jaw set firm. “Yeah. I will be.”

~*~

As you pack up the last of your things, there’s a lingering feeling in your gut that you can’t quite manage to shake, and you’re not sure why. Maybe Jimin got in your head with all the TV show drama talk. Or maybe it’s your stupid heart, foolishly holding out hope that things could still change, even at the eleventh hour. That it all can’t just… end like this.

But none of the scenarios you’ve dreamed up come true. Yoongi isn’t standing at your apartment door when you swing it open with your suitcase in hand. He doesn’t step out of the cab that pulls up to your complex to take you to the airport. He doesn’t run through the terminal to catch you right before you make it to security.

Yoongi doesn’t stop you. So you go.

chapter nine | masterlist

#author: here2bbtstrash #member: myg #genre: angst #type: series

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damselofblueroses · 3 years ago

Text

Bambi, Ch. 3 R U Ridin? Part II

You are my Bambi, girl, I am your candy, tell me what are you waiting for?

Summary: As an archaeologist who works on the Ancient Greece, you were on the verge of excavations’ session. While you have been preparing your team, you learned that your institute decided on your team has to work with another team as they wanted the outcome as a collaboration. The head of other team was your biggest rival, a scumbag in your eyes: Byun Baekhyun.

You two were supposed to work together for three months, in a Greek Island, Chios.

Could you manage to not kill Byun Baekhyun for three months?

Chapter Summary: Byun Baekhyun and the Reader remember the day they spent in UN Village together while they are heading to Chios.

Word Count: 13k

Content: AU, heavily Greek mythology, enemies to lovers.

Warnings: Well, the story contains NSFW/Smut, please minors do not continue.

Note: This story will be 7 or 8 chapters if I will not change my mind in the meantime. It is inspired by my major; however, I do not have a complete knowledge on archaeology, I am a historian. If I will make a technical mistake, please let me know. I am willing to receive any kind of feedback; you are more than welcomed to drop a message.

Series Masterlist

Chapter 3: R U Ridin? Part II (13k)

This chapter is a special gift to my bestie. I got your back, bestie <3

"I have no intention.” he slightly snorted when he pulled back for a good breathe, your heart was uncontrollably ramming into your chest. “Not when I finally have you in my arms.”

Your face heated like a pile of coats lit aflame.

Baekhyun’s pupils expand as his gaze to meet yours, he raised his hand and dragged his finger on your face, from forehead to chin while his other hand started to draw circles on your navel.

Delicately.

“Baekhyun,” you murmured, and unfortunately you were too naïve to try your feelings as he had gradually turned your brain into a mush. He kissed you and his kisses were like fire. It was meant to stay on you, marked you and burned you. He sighed into your mouth as he let himself drown deeper in passion.

It was not chaste since beginning, but now, you allow him to taste you enough to had him melting into your sweet flavour. His lips were crashing yours, bruising them, burning you to your cores and exciting you with the intensity he had. You have already crossed the line and you had no idea how to face Baekhyun later on, when you were going to be sober and awake, but now, you just want to feel him more.

All of him.

He broke the kiss just for a second, just for a breath. He’s already felt dizzy, he was going to be fucking you tonight and he was going to be fucking you for the rest of his life, as he’s already decided. When Baekhyun put something in his mind, there was no example of him turning his head from what he wanted.

He wanted you, therefore, you were his. That’s your fucking fate that must be accepted by humans on the earth, angels in the heaven and demons of the hell.

The hell, he’d let you slide out of his arms. You must be crafted for him with all the wits and nerves in this pretty head. You must be made for him with this soft and tiny body, just for Baekhyun to hold you, carry you, hover you, make you his and only his.

Did these make him obsessed with you?

He did not think so.

Did these make him in love with you?

Baekhyun would like to prefer calling as even a yandere, rather accepting he love you to the bits and pieces.

“You are so beautiful.” he heard his own voice. Hoarse as fuck. “You are so fucking beautiful; you drive me crazy.”

You blushed and giggled, as you were tired of holding all your defences to protect yourself, trying to trick your own mind and heart. You have been dying for this goddamn boy.

And the boy in question suddenly realized that his hips decided to move without a warning to his brain as he pressed you into the wall and grinding on you. He shut his eyes due to the pleasure you are giving him without noticing.

“I…” he trailed off, clearing his throat. “We have a problem.”

“What?”

You were ready for the worst. You were ready to hear he did not want to spend the night with you. You were ready to learn that he changed his mind.

But nothing could prepare you for his reply.

“I do not want to fuck you on the wall.” he muttered. “Well, not today.”

“It is impossible.” you snorted. “Even in your dreams, you pervert.”

“A man can dream.” Baekhyun inhaled your scent, cupping your hot cheeks kindly. “I often dream about you.”

“I am sure those dreams are also pervertish like you!”

“I already realized you are into degrading, sweetheart.” he brushed his nose to yours. “But I did not think you do it wholeheartedly.”

“I am n-

“But” he literally attacked to your lips. “I am also very into shutting your mouth.”

Something was growing inside your chest, something awfully made you to tangle your arms around his waistline and dragged him into your body, deepening the kiss. Baekhyun froze just for a second, stunned by the sudden encourage in your hands, then the only thing you could feel was his lips, shaping a sheepish smile almost on the next second.

“I’ve been dreaming since ages,” the tone he used made you blush in the blink of an eye, because you did not believe that you were going to like it the rest of his line. Or you would like it a way too much. “The wide range of ways I’d choose to have you, make you mine. So, you can tell that giving yourself fully to me feels like a damn treat to me.”

“How about using your damn mouth for useful tasks?” you felt suffocatingly hot and wiggling like a worm under the fire, then the realization of how Baekhyun would like to take your words hit you like a truck. “Oh, damn it, I did not me-

“Ah, we will come to that step.” He fucking smirked on your skin. “I will show you all the things I can do with my damn mouth.”

It was frightening how you feel so okey with everything came from his damn mouth, but it was even more frightening that how you craved for the things he just promised to you. You wanted to scream, you wanted to break something due to the tension going through your veins, but Baekhyun seemed like he could tease you for the rest of the night.

You changed your mind, untangling your arms off Baekhyun’s shoulders.

You wanted to break Baekhyun, but you did not know a single thingto be beneficial for your goal. Obviously, you were aware of there are many ways to please someone, but theoretical speaking could accompany to you like two or three steps more.

Kissing him like crazy? you inwardly thought, fingernails sinking into your palms. What the fuck I was doing? It seems ineffective.

It is like having two Indy in the same table and letting them to hold a conversation about how to give hard times to their mutual crush. One of them seemed more mature, more confident, and experienced, instead of the other one who looked like a lost puppy. It was crystal clear which one you would kill to be.

Handjob then? You gotta be kidding.

Blowjob? Jesus fucking Christ, girl, do you even know how you can perform such a hell of a job?

You were left to your own devices once Baekhyun cut the show in your mind by leaning half of his weight on you.

“Hey,” you have never heard his voice soft to this degree. “What happened? Why don’t you look at me? Do you wish me to go?”

He never sounded like he truly meant his words. Your idiot heart found the way he looked at you extremely endearing.

“No.” you shrieked eyes wide. “Stay.”

“Why don’t you look at me, then?” he sighed, running a hand through his hair. As you waited in silence, Baekhyun really became unconfident with his words and acts. Did he offend you? Did he talk too much? Did he do something to make you feel uncomfortable? Why do you insist on averting your eyes from him? “Indy?”

The nickname.

“Baekhyun.” you inhaled, darting your eyes to his face with all the power you have, giving him a real reason to forget how to breath. “I’ve been dreaming about you since ages, too.”

Well, that was the last thing Baekhyun could hope to hear from your lips, but you did not stop there, you could not stop your goddam mouth anymore.

“I want you to have me like there is no tomorrow.” you muttered. “I want you to mark me, make me yours and never let me go.”

Baekhyun noticed the fire growing in the deepest and darkest areas of his mind, burning, and destroying everything he believed he knew very well, till now. You were shaking his world from its pillars with fucking words. Not even the best ones, not the greatest fantasies he heard until now, but you were tearing him to his bits.

“Tel-

“No.” you placed a finger on his plush, pinkish lips, then a smile shaped on your face. “You listen, I talk. Or I will not give you head.”

“Do you know how to give head?!” his breath hitched in his throat.

“No.” you shamelessly admitted. “Does it matter? I am sure you want to educate me.”

“Indy, I warn you, do not g-

“Should I not dare to give further information?” your finger wandering from his lips to his neck, drawing circles on his porcelain skin. “Oh, too bad.”

You pushed him till his knees hit the bed, as you managed to catch him like a rabbit, gazing the car lights, he fell down onto the bed without even noticing as he was watching and hearing you in such an awe.

“Too bad for Baekhyunnie.” you literally cooed, the fire inside Baekhyun’s eyes went crazy after hearing the nickname, he did not understand the transformation happened in front of him in nanoseconds, or when he gave the control to you, but he realized he fucking loved to see you like this. Straddling him like you own him, hovering his body and unconsciously starting to move your hips to catch a friction. His hands moved to your hips without realizing. You had him putty in your hands, and Baekhyun enjoyed every seconds of the show you are performing. “Because a good boy has to listen, right?”

Damnit, you thought in your mind. What the fuck I said just now?!

Baekhyun gulped and glanced at you as he could not believe whatyou are turning into. You were looking like a vengeful goddess taking his breath away from his lungs. His forearms tightening and threatening to form fists on the bedsheets.

“What did you call me?” his voice was almost muffled down by your breathing.

“My good boy.” you repeated yourself without hesitation. You were not sure what the heck you were doing, but you were definitely intoxicated with the spell he put on you. “I want you to break me apart, Baekhyun. Shake my world till I cry, till the only thing I can say is your na-

Baekhyun now is the one who closed the gap between you this time, kissing you like his whole life depends on the kiss. When he pulls away, your heart palpated, stomach swirled in a fucking row. He wets his lips, framing your face with his hands, pulling you onto his forehead.

“I am going to give it to you.” he promised. “I am going to make you feel just good till I will be sure of you’d comeback to me all the time. I am going to fuck you till you sing my fucking name.”

Baekhyun sighed into your mouth, his eyebrows furrowed as he let himself drown deeper in his lust for you. He invited you to taste him, he allowed himself to own you like he wanted nothing but being sure of you melt into his tongue.

He set your whole being ablaze with his kisses, burning you to your core with a passion that could be the rival of blazing sun.

He kissed you like you were oxygen, and he was dying to breath. He turned, pressing his body onto yours, his hands travelling around your hips and legs, tangling your legs around his waistline.

You could feel that you managed to break Baekhyun’s will on teasing you.

And you have never ever been so wrong in your life.

“I am going to be sure,” he landed both hands on your shoulder, grabbing you and peppering kisses on your neck. “You are going to take everything I give and be fucking happy to oblige me.”

“Okay,” you never spare him a glance. “Stop, you little jackass.”

Baekhyun consumed your lips like kissing you pays his rent, chuckled like a little devil just he is, wandered his hand through your body like casting enchantments on you.

He kissed you with his heart, pouring everything he has into the kiss, warming you up, turning you stupid, feeding you with a honey liquor from his goddam, skilful and sinful mouth.

Both of you are now consumed with desire but in the back of your foggy minds, both of you notice the very fact that you are driven by mutual affection, care, and love on top of desire. You were composed by tangled limbs, heavily breathings and hearts are thundering loud. You caught the taste of mint and cinnamon on his tongue, and it tosses your senses back to dishonesty. You did everything in your power in order to persuade yourself you only want him this way because lust is your driving force, and he is nothing but a goddam full course of meal in the best example of mankind.

“I do not love you.” you heard your own voice. “Do not get wrong ideas.”

“If you think I would go on my knees after this,” Baekhyun smirked, you could feel his lips following an invisible path from your neck to the valley between your breasts. “You are fucking wrong, sweetheart.”

“Good.” your heart skipped a beat when he holds you by the nape, taking control of your body while you move unconditionally, bringing him back to your mouth again, fingers found their way to the collar of his hoodie. You did not ever want him to stop, you did not want to stop.

“I definitely go on my knees during this.”

You wanted to hate him, you wanted to kick him in the most painful and sensitive areas, but Baekhyun made you feel wanted and no one could make you feel the way he does right now. He was demanding and passionate, rough and soft, cold and warm, sweet and sour at the same time. To you, Baekhyun was overwhelming, and there is nothing dangerous more than a man who knows how he made his girl feel. He was so captivating, so alluring, so dangerous and his eyes were equally as dark as they were reeked of masculinity and femininity.

“Shut the fuck up, Byun.” you softly kicked his thigh, made him chuckle.

Even though Baekhyun looked like he is on the driver seat, his control wass just deceiving as he has never felt the fire consuming him when you hungrily, feverishly kiss him back, pulling him to yourself just like the proximity between your bodies were killing you. Baekhyun was only a few steps back from losing his mind.

He thought he just want to fuck you just fine. He believed if he could fuck you, his hunger for you would be end as he’d fuck and ditch you, aftermaths.

Lord, he has never been so wrong in his life.

When he held you between his arms, he noticed the most important aspect which changed his perspective forever, striking him like the lightning.

Baekhyun was made for you and only you.

He finally understood why he has always been your invisible puppy tail the reason is unbelievably simple and clear, but Baekhyun always rejected to question his feelings for you. Now, as he could feel your heartbeat just beneath his own, he saw what he had to see a quite years ago.

You were the only girl Baekhyun could see. He could search seven seas and three continents, but the result would be the same, you will be the only girl he needs to feel by his side as his friend with benefits, his girlfriend, his lover. Whatever you’d decide is fine by Baekhyun, you name it you get it.

Baekhyun knew that he is the sun, shining and radiating heat to everyone with his physical, mental, and emotional attractiveness. He was not so humble when it comes to talk about self-perceptions, Baekhyun already know how charming he was as a package with no failure.

But there was a good, solid reason why Baekhyun unconditionally obliged to your wishes as they are his commands.

You are his moon.

How could he convince himself when he finally got the taste of you? You were just like sun and moon, okay they could not rise and down together, but they share the same sky, they chase each other as you and Baekhyun always do. He was going to find a way for you to be together, even it was against all the nature, Baekhyun is going to carve a plan.

You meant to be together, and it is clear as fuck to his eyes. Even he hated you, even you loathed him, even killing each other would make you satisfy, Baekhyun understood that he was never ever going to let you go. His moon has to rise to his skyevery night. He was surprised to see the possessive side he has, but he was fucking possessive when it comes to you.

“I want you for myself, Indy.” he muttered, slipping his fingers underneath your navy blue hoodie, caressing the soft skin above your panties. You instantly felt the need of wiping your chin with the back of your hand because you could feel you were drooling. “Everything you have, I want.”

He brushed the tip of his nose to yours.

“And more of you.” your lips were on his. They were pressed lightly, the softest pair meeting with fiercest ones, only for a brief second but enough to make your heart wildly rammed into your ribcages, shaking you out of the reality. “You wanted me to tear you apart, sweetheart you should have heard all the things I want to do to you.”

“Yeah, and then what?” your own voice started to sound like strange to you. His fingers moved to the south, touching you just there. You unconsciously tugged his upper lip between your teeth, and Baekhyun groaned at the sensation, pulling himself back and giving his attention to the column of your throat. “Lord, it feels good, please never stop.”

Your voice was obscene in his ears, the way you were pleading for him just as your words were provoking him to just tear you apart in the blink of an eye. It was the final string of his self-control before he completely lost it.

“Fuck,” he hissed, leaning over to rip your hoodie off your body, his irises were blacker than brown, glinting with desire and his breathing pace turning into something almost painful at the sigh of you lying beneath him. “I am the only one who can have you like this, you got that?”

“Bae-

“You fucking got that?” he never thought he could demand such as a thing or he could need to hear an approval. “Say it.”

You exactly felt like you got his point. Therefore, you did not feel like you were going to have a fucking crush on anyone else like your heart was reserved for Baekhyun. You wanted him to know that. You wanted him to understand how you feel, but you did not want to sound like you were hopelessly in love with him.

As a minor drawback, you were not ready to accept the ugly truth.

You decided to keep it simple as you caressed his cheek, wondering if you ever give the right of being honest with how you feel about Baekhyun even to yourself.

You decide to tell him a half truth.

“Till I will hate you again.”

Baekhyun’s gaze softened, you wondered why there was an instant smile forming on his lips like he definitely knew your secret. When he kissed you again, you understood there was no turning back this time and an indiscernible contract was sealed with his feathery pecks on your eyelids.

You were breathing hard as the scent of sea and cinnamon filling your nostrils, your lips were bruised and red as Baekhyun’s were the same. He pushed your hoodie off with hasty hands, you helped him while your fingers found the hem of his hoodie.

“Take them off.” you could not help but sounded like begging. “Baekhyun, I want to see you.”

He answered you with a soft moan, yanked his hoodie above his head and tossing it to somewhere in the room. The second, you were in his arms again, your hands circling his neck while you were admiring his body.

To be honest, you were raking your eyes over every muscle he has, especially with the sight of his jogging pants hanging dangerously low on his lips, presenting his v-lines and packs of abs that ripple with every move he made. Your body was pressed against the sheets, Baekhyun tangled your legs again to his waist.

“Like what you see, Sweetheart?” he noticed how you looked at him, could not fight against the urge of teasing you.

“You have no idea...” you were not able to even lie as your mouth felt like a desert in a nanosecond. “I do not know you really work out.”

“You really want to talk about my gym schedule, right now?” he literally snorted, averting his eyes from you as he had no intention to confess, he took really good care of himself because he was desperately hoping to catch your attention one day. “Don’t you have something better to do? Like lifting your hips and helping me to take that be- Wait a second, what the fuck is this?!”

Baekhyun frantically took off your hoodie and forgot how to breath.

Well, maybe you were inexperienced on certain activities, but you had a fully approved taste when it comes to lingerie, instead of dull, colourless, or mismatched panties and bras, you were fond of good and high-quality pairs. You expected that you would be embarrassed when Baekhyun discovered what you kept under your hoodie, but you quickly differed the feeling flowing through your veins from discomfort as you were deliberately proud of yourself as you watched Baekhyun’s face expression. His eyes widened when he finally saw the blue pair you’ve been wearing, his lips slightly parted and a considerable amount of blood invaded his cheeks as well as his not so appropriate to be mentioned body parts.

The body part in mention started to scream, but Baekhyun mentally kicked himself in order to get his control back. He had been waiting for this since years, he was not going to finish himself in seconds. He was going to enjoy every second of what he has in front of him.

Literally and figuratively.

But you never make it easy for him. Never ever.

“We call them as lingerie.” you deadpanned, holding your smirk back. “They say hi, Baekhyunnie.”

“Oh, really?” Baekhyun just laughed at your attempt. “I would not get cocky too much if I were you, Sweetheart.”

A devious smile tugged at his lips, and you almost choked around nothing at the devilish look on his eyes as he touched you just down there.

“W-why?” you shuttered, heat rising to your cheeks. You let Baekhyun’s hands to sneak towards your bralette, cupping your breast. Though he wanted to tease you, Baekhyun was caught by your pretty face and an exchange happened between your eyes.

Silently. No words spoken. Another invisible bond, another invisible promise.

I want to have you, your eyes seemed to say. Sincerely. For the rest of our lives.

You already have me, babe. That was his response. Since the beginning, I am yours and you are mine.

His right hand moved to your face, gently cupped your cheek, almost timid as he caressed your skin. You leaned into his touch, closing your eyes. Baekhyun could catch your irises got teary before you close them.

“Indy,” he murmured. “Look at me.”

You obliged to him, and his heart literally skipped a beat, he honestly could not believe that he wasted this whole time pretending to be your biggest rival instead of your number one fan and lover, but he decided to make you to laugh, rather letting you to cry.

“I am on my knees, I do not want to lose you, so put your loving hands up, darling” Baekhyun quietly sang but managed to sound like the son of devil. “I am begging you.”

“Byun Baekhyun,” you could not help but burst into laughs. “Really?”

“I love this song. Don’t you think Maneskin do a great cover?” he kissed your eyelids. “If you want, I can sing it again while I am literally on my knees.”

Your laughs faded in your throat as his touch moving down on your body and bringing you closer to insanity. When he dipped his head down on your breast, your breath hitched in your throat and your hands instantly tugged onto his hair, pressing him onto your body. He could count your pulse, and he did not believe he would ever grow tired of this feeling. Having you half naked under his own body and you were fucking responsive to every single thing he was doing to you. From the smallest peck to the sloppiest kiss. It was so obvious how much you needed Baekhyun, and it was such a satisfaction for him after the years he was longing for you.

He pinned you down to the bed, his mouth zealously tasting the skin of your neck while his fingers toying your nipples. Your hands tracing on his biceps, swirling around the soft skin and you had no fucking idea the effect you had on Baekhyun. If you two could be a painting, the audience would think you were the victim and Baekhyun was burning you with his touches as the devil himself coercing a little, tiny fairy into his cage, your wide eyes and trembling hands telling that Baekhyun was your hunter. If only they knew that you were fucking desperate to be in his arms and you had the devil wrapped around your little finger.

To be honest, he was shivering under your touch and making him to tremble like a damn virgin required a lot.

“Baekhyun,” you harshly pulled him to yourself like he was not close enough. “You are not attractive as Damiano and it kills my mood.”

“This does not agree to you, baby girl.” he slipped his hand under your panties, his eyes widened in mixture of feelings, shock because he did not dare to dream the thing he could feel at the moment and excitement because he fucking felt it on the tips of his fingers. “Godfuckingdamnit, you are soaking. How generous you are! All for me, Sweetheart?”

“No, I am dreaming about my favourite man.” Your face was burning enough to turn you into red from your forehead to the neck. “Damiano does the work, I guess.”

“You’re so lucky to have me between your legs instead of that Italian.” Baekhyun just brushed your attempt to save yourself from misery off. “And your favourite is so adamant to bring you such a high.”

His voice was fucking deep and rough, he did not say anything dirty, but he succeeded to sound fucking mischievous and you were dying on the spot.

“This is the last time I ask.” he whispered to your ear. “Can I have you, darling?”

You could feel shivers running down your spine as you kicked him.

“Do not fucking whisper!”

Byun Baekhyun was dead after hearing your whining. Well, not actually but he felt like he lost ten years of his life because how cute you were. He sent a smile towards you, by now he was certain that this night would be the best of bests, number 1 in his Top 10. He was grinning, and he felt on top of the world.

He wanted to give you everything. Even the things he never would think of entrusting to someone, he wanted to tell you everything he thinks, he wanted to sing the cheesiest love songs to your ears, he wanted to bake cakes for you, he wanted to pour chocolates over your head, he wanted to roll you in a blanket during the rainy nights, he wanted to feel your head on his shoulder after a long study date, he wanted to bring you coffee when you spent whole day in library.

He wanted to love you like a gentleman he was, but he did not want to look like a lovesick dork.

“Ah,” he purred to your ear again, saving himself from the embarrassment secretly growing in the back of his mind. “Bold of you thinking I follow your orders.”

You squirmed under his touches and sultry voice, butterflies erupting in your stomach. He wasted no time to place burning open-mouthed kisses to the skin of your neck and shoulders. Baekhyun was never a fan of love bites, but he realized he wanted to give you something was going to remind him tomorrow morning. This realization made him to notice that he was still not sureif you were going to provide him to have you again in his arms.

His stomach churned but not in a desirable way.

He bit your collarbone and pinched at your perked up nipples.

“Did you just bite me, Byun Baekhyun?” you pulled his hair with all power your muscles have, displaying your irritation. Baekhyun saved his hair from the cage of your hands and dipped his head to your collarbone and shoulders, refusing to break eye contact.

And he bit you again.

His bites were not painful or rough on you, instead he sunk his teeth on your skin softly, it was clear as he was not aiming to make you upset, but he had something in his fucking mind. Well, as you have not spent time on thinking on hickeys in your entire life, so you had no clue on his plan. You let him to continue his assault on your collarbone, as you started to feel giddy.

Eh, tomorrow morning your comprehension on these bites would be drastically changed but for now, your problem was different.

“It tickles.” he heard your chuckles. “Baekhyun, you tickle me!”

Your face flushed with heat, as your laughs turning into a crescendo which Baekhyun found a new way of his amusement, his smile widened, and his soft laughter bubbled into the air between you. Baekhyun felt like he was blessed by the gods above every time he was the one who made you laugh like crazy. He noticed that making you happy is more important even than making you. He had to admit that you denuded Baekhyun and under the peels, he recognized he was wholeheartedly in love with you.

And it was not something easy to swallow.

His knuckles brushed softly over your skin, and he hated how much he wanted to crawl into your heart. He wanted to fuck you so bad.

But he wanted to take his time and savour every moment.

He wanted to have you, then ditch you.

But he knew he was going to be under your fingertips for the rest of his life.

“Indy,” his breath intermingled into yours. He was on the verge of confessing everything he felt to you, but you pulled his face closer and kiss him fervently.

“Baekhyun, didn’t I tell you use your mouth for good?” your eyes darkening with lust and need. “Instead of acting like a bride-to-be?”

Baekhyun laughed and flicked to your forehead.

“Says the virgin.”

“I do not see you doing something about it.”

“Let’s change it, huh?”

“Baekhyun, wait!”

Well, even though you were trying to be a tough cookie, you had to make him stop due to the pain you had in your, um, lady part.

“Does it hurt?” he broke the kiss at the moment, breathing hard and his eyes hooded with desire and worry. He saw how you winced in discomfort, his face softened, and he pressed a kiss on your forehead. A gentle kiss was placed on your cheekbone, had you melting under the kindness. You still felt the pain but did not resist to urge of kissing his jaw and reached to his lips.

Baekhyun wanted more. Needed more. Dying for more.

But it was time to be patient as your face telling him you were in really ache.

“Let me try again, baby.” he retracted his fingers, gliding them out of you very slowly, you tried your best not to hiss, but you completely lost it when he brought his fingers into his mouth, lubricating them with his saliva and slipping his hand back between your legs. You fucking blushed at the sight as he leaned on your ear. “Let me hear you if it hurts.”

You nodded and he pushed them in. He heard your little whimper turning into moan as you grabbed his shoulders, squeezing your legs.

“Pain and pleasure together, right baby?” he smiled but there were wrinkles near his eyes. He did not like the pain part, but he did not know how he could do all these without hurting, technically speaking, taking someone’s virginity was neither easiest nor the most aesthetical experience. However, he had to confess that though he was really upset to cause you pain, the selfish part of him was happy to be your first.

And he was real when he aimed to be the only.

“Yeah,” you gasped. “But isn’t It boring? I mean, what about you?”

“What about me?” he raised his eyebrows, trying to ease the pain and relaxing your muscles as much as he could with his fingers. Your head thrown back, and you seized his wrist, but it was very clear there was something bothering you too bad and Baekhyun hated to see the clouds in your eyes.

“How,” you took a deep breath. “I do not know how to make you feel good. Teach me what to do.”

You were in pain, it was obvious.

You were relaxing bit by bit, that was obvious too.

You were nervous, that was fucking clear.

But Baekhyun did not foresee you being worried about his pleasure when you were the one who had real, physical problems right now.

“Is this your problem? Really?” his chin dropped for a second, could not believe your words. “Aren’t you in pain?”

“Well,” you were breathing hard. “I guess, it is not the breaking news.”

“The breaking news,” he pressed into every letter, swallowing some silent curses back, weren’t you such an idiot but the cutest one? “I enjoy a lot to see how you started to rock your hips to my fingers.”

He reached deep inside after his sentence, directing his gaze onto you.

“And you have no idea having you around me makes me feel.”

If the words could kill, you would be dead in the blink of an eye but they, thank God, could not. Though, you were not sure about Baekhyun’s abilities since he applied pressure on your clit with his thumb and rubbing against your nub.

“Tell me how you touch yourself.” he asked with a genuine curiosity. “It may work.”

The words could kill, you decided as his question almost knocked you out. You bit your lip, hesitating to tell him the very ugly truth, but to your dismay, Baekhyun did not fucking stop.

“Show me.” he dragged your hand to your clit.

You had no choice.

“Uh,” you closed your eyes. “Why you are so annoying?!”

“I know you are not good at observing the facts, but I am trying to help you at the moment.”

“On the contrary,” you zealously pulled your hand back. “You multiple my embarrassment.”

“I can close my eyes while you are doing the work if you lik-

“I do not touch myself, idiot!” you said it in a breath.

Baekhyun was already aware of the fact that you were the first, and only, person in his The People Never Stops to Give Me Heart Problemslist.

But hearing you really got him out of guard.

“Ha?”

“Do not make me to say it again.” you covered your face with your hands. “I am already going crazy over here.”

“So, you are telling me, you never touch yourself?” Baekhyun was almost choked on his own saliva.

“I really appreciate your consideration of my wishes.”

“You cannot expect me not to ask!” Baekhyun exclaimed. “Why?”

“Is it a crime, JesusfuckingChrist?!” you snapped back at him. “What do you mean with why? I do not feel any hunger till now, I do not need to do it!”

Till now.

Baekhyun caught those two words and hugged them mentally.

“I feel very privileged, babe.” he tried his best to regain his composure. “Let me ask you something.”

“Before you go,” you deadpanned. “I prefer my men as tall, dark and fucking quiet.”

“To your dismay,” Baekhyun started to press his hips against yours and grinding just to give you more friction. “I am the only one seems you preferred, and I can feel how much you need me.”

“It does not mean I do not wish you to stop your fucking mouth.”

“Didn’t you hear me?” passion found Baekhyun again. “I said fuck your wishes.”

In response, he pressed back and forth, following a pace to have you putty in his hands. Both of you groaned in silence, it felt dangerous and addicting, irritating such a way of warning you were not going to be able to stop until both of you take want you wanted from each other. You decided to follow your guts and sneaked your hand down, touching his hardness.

His response put you such an awe, his eyes widened, and he let another moan, bucking his hips into your hand.

“Do you mind?” you cleared your throat. “If I touch you?”

“Do you have a plan?” he did not want to show his eagerness and hunger for your touch.

“Hell, no.” you stroke his nave before your fingers started to play with his jogging pants. “But I am a quick learner and I have a feeling.”

“What is that feeling?”

“You have a dream.” you deadpanned. “Freedom.”

When you slipped your fingers past his boxer, he sharply gasped and his breathing tattered. Seeing his reaction made you proud of yourself, especially when his cheeks were red and burning.

“Fuck,” he hissed. “Your hands are cold.”

“Do I have Elizabeth Bennet in my bed?” you smirked. “Should I act like Mr. Darcy?”

“You little shit.” he laughed but when your fingers curled around him, a little moan escaped from his lips. He was fucking adorable and cute, you never imagine him making such a delicate and sinful sound at your touch, but Goddamnit, you liked it a way too much, his voice boasted your fragile ego and gave you confidence in your moves. Especially when he turned more vocal, mixing praises and some inappropriate words about God and Lord.

Damn, he was verbal. Quite verbal. Enough to add more colours to your face.

“Oh, fuck me lord, just like that, baby girl.” he blabbered. “Your hand feels so good.”

Your hands gone autopilot, catching the pace made him blushed and shaping words on its own, you lifted your hips, pushing your heat to meet his crotch. You glided your thumb against his slit, made him shudder and closing his eyes in pleasure.

“Take this off.” you puckered your lips, pointing to the guilty pants you wanted to be tossed to somewhere in room. He hastily kicked it off his legs with your lingerie and the view made him thousand time nervous since both of you were bare and exposed before each other’ examining eyes.

“Okey.” he took the deepest breath of his entire life, locking his gaze on your body. “I did not expect this.”

“What do you mean?” you shuttered in a second, losing all the confidence you barely gained. Something of course was wrong with you, and he did not want you anymore, you knew it. “Am I dirty? Smelling bad? Ugly for your liking?”

“What?” his voice broke, not believing you could be that much idiot, but seeing the sudden tears forming in the corners of your eyes made him rethink about your IQ level. He softly smiled and brushed them with his delicate fingers. You tried to cover your face, but he grabbed your wrists and pinned them over your head. “You are the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.”

“Stop being so cheesy.” you closed your eyes, feeling the blood rushing to your cheeks. Though what you said, you could not help but his praise open your ribcages and curled inside to warm your heart.

“Are you dirty?” he did not bother answering. “Well, I fucking hope so.”

He kissed you again. Slowly but fucking passionate.

“Are you smelling bad?” he pressed his nose into the crook of your neck. “You smell fucking good it drives me crazy.

He inhaled and followed the line from your neck to your navel, intentionally smelled all the way.

“Actually,” he grinned and looked at your red face. “Your smell makes me pathetic I wonder how you taste. It must be saccharine based on how you smell.”

And he kissed you.

There.

“Baekhyun!” you gasped.

“Are you ugly?” his grin is the pure definition of being a little devil. “You have the cutest pussy I have ever seen.”

“BAEKHYUN!”

“Do you prefer me to lie?” he laughs sent shivers through your spine, securing your legs around his head. “Is there anything you want to tell me?”

You did not want him to lie but you also did not want him to realize how desperate you were for him. You have been feeling so different since he stepped inside of your room, you were not like this at all, you have never done anything like this before. Okey, you did not imagine being in a relationship deep enough for you to have intimacy with someone or it was not like you were dreaming of making your first time as special, heavenly, or magical as you had read in books.

But right now, you were trapped inside your arch enemy’s arms, in a hotel room that was not your space at all, you felt like it was the perfect time and place as you felt like you were not making any sense.

All that matters to you was Baekhyun. You wanted to tell him exactly this. You have never wanted anyone this badly in your life, and you were fucking confused because only Baekhyun could make you feel alive.

You slightly lifted your hips as your hands hesitantly found their way to grab a considerable amount of his soft hair.

“For fuck’s sake…” you could not help but your voice came out as a pleading.

“Jesus, you make everything hard,” Baekhyun gritted between his teeth. Under his calm expression, Baekhyun was worse than you. Your smell was making him dizzy, but your words were killing him. The way you panted his name. The way your hands shaking on his skin. The way your little, cute moans drove him crazy. He did not count every time he imagined having you in front of his hungry mouth, lips swollen, skin tingled, cheeks reddened, pleading and moaning just because of him, but if he’d save a penny for each dream, he could be fucking rich by now. “Fine then, screw it.”

His sudden roughness as he spread your legs wider made your heart rammed to your chest. He dedicated himself to leave no part of your body untouched by his lips and tongue, as he was going to eat you alive as he promised you before. With every kiss of your skin, Baekhyun felt electricity through his veins, with every mewl coming from your mouth found its own place in his mind. Now, as he faced with your cute pussy, he realized you were definitely glistening, though the room is dusky, he could see how much you wanted him, and the sight was absolutely fascinating, the scent was overwhelming him as his mouth was practically watering.

But he decided to tell you something very important.

“Sweetheart, keep this in your mind.” Baekhyun muttered before getting too distracted by the task in his mind, and when Baekhyun had something in his mind, he definitely lives up to for that. “I am just about to fuck you like I hate you.”

“Don’t you already hat- Godfuckingdamnit!”

He licked a strip from your entrance to your clit as he kept his bloody eyes on you and smoothing over your thighs enough to push your legs against your stomach, instead of his shoulders. You lost it in a second as he was proving himself as loyal to his promise, if you were his last meal on earth, you could have understood the way he ate you out. Baekhyun was breathing harshly out of his nose, sucking your clit between his lips and fuck’s sake the voices he has been making were nothing but fucking lewd as your moans just went out of control and becoming more desperate. Your grip on his hair becoming stronger by the circles he was drawing over your very sensitive bud, but you were not trying to keep him, rather you were trying to keep yourself alive. Baekhyun groaned as he sucked your clit, the vibrations sending shockwaves.

Then he slid his finger inside of you till the resistance joined into chat. Wrinkles appeared around your eyes, but you were not able of separating pain from pleasure at the moment. There was a spot he was trying to reach in the limits he had, but you were not expecting him to find it as you have been heard of some stories and to be honest, you were not sure if you could handle more.

Eh, he answered your silent question by finding the spongy spot.

“Fucking hell,” you could swear on stars were dancing before you, as your head thrown back as curses started to leave your lips.

“That dirty mouth of yours.” Baekhyun just took a breath and using the moment to mock with you. “I wonder what you will say after I make you cum twice.”

He continued to move his finger in and out of you, continued his torture on you, then went back to his duty.

“First,” you hardly breath but gave your best. “You have to make me to run my mouth.”

“Ah, believe me.” Baekhyun said between his kitten licks to your clit. “I am a man of my words.”

You did not want to be as lewd as fuck, but you could not control yourself. He was drowning you in a thick fog, your face was warm, your body was on fire as if you would be dragged into the center of sun. You wondered where in the hell Baekhyun learned how to do this, as he pulled a thirsty moan from you.

“Sensitive?” he cooed, his tickling breath sending chills down your limbs, he had you trembling between his arms, and he loved it. Lord, he loved it a way too much. Every curl of his tongue had you bucking your hips against his mouth with a mixture of shy whimpers and bold swears. “Relax, Sweetheart. I have all the time to play with you.”

“In your dreams,” you became slack-jawed as he suckled on the sensitive flesh, your fingers were digging into his skin with a force enough to paint his body with your fingerprints. “I am already bored.”

“I do not have to be kind anymore, then.” his grabbed your hips, pinned you over the bed sheets. Wait, was this his kind side?! He bit you, the sudden roughness made your entire body shaken and another moan ripped out of your throat, you covered your mouth due to the sudden embarrassment how he made you shudder so easily. His lips were velvety and sinful, calling you to sing his name like a bloody chant. Making you ignorant for anything else but his presence.

He went on his knees, grabbing your ankles and your eyebrows knitted as you had no idea what he was going to do next. He peppered kisses up your calf, had you going fucking ballistic.

If this bastard would not start to do something about the knots tightening in your stomach, you’d start crying.

“Baekhyun, please…” you could not believe your own voice, but Baekhyun’s heart was about to burst. He finally got his fucking name from you, he leaned to place a soft kiss on your forehead.

“You want me to give you some relief, huh?” He could not help but smirk. “It is cute how you leak like a damn faucet for me, baby girl.”

You bit your lip to suppress another whimper, looking at him with an angry but fucking cute face. You did not want to boast his ego, but he already got everything he needed to witness.

“I am just about to start, be patient, you can do it, right?” he pushed your limits, enjoying every second of it. It was like a revenge for him, but you did something he never expect from you.

You took his hand and placed it over your heart. He could feel how crazy it beats he could see how much you wanted to be his.

“Baekhyun,” you looked at him with big doe eyes. “Please?”

He bended your leg over his shoulder, and he moved back to your cunt, sheering from arousal. You were so vulnerable, so precious, so lewd and magical before him and Baekhyun finally saw that you were about to be his.

He gave what you unconsciously wanted almost in the blink of an eye. He dragged his finger along the swell of your folds, tapping your clit with his thumb. He ignited the fire in your tummy, made it tenfold, your hands frantically searched for anything to hold onto. Baekhyun’s head was spinning, he was amazed by your reactions, you took his breath away entirely without noticing. He could feel himself soaking in his boxer as pre-cum beads on the tip of his dick starting to pool around.

“I think,” he stopped to try make any sense, words left his mouth senselessly. “You are going to be fucking tired tomorrow. I do not think I will be done with you soon.”

“Holy shit,” you breathed, “I can feel your dick twitching, are you sure I am gonna be the only one?”

“Let’s have a bet.” He closed his eyes when you brushed your hand through his dick, throbbing under your touch, painfully hard. “The first one wakes up, wins.”

“Easy-peasy Japan-easy.”

And then, Baekhyun pressed his lips to your swollen fold, your hips jerked beneath his sudden attack. His lips puckered around your clit, licking line from your entrance to the bundle of nerves had your pupils widened to their extend, he has been driving you fucking insane. You always thought that this would make you embarrassed but hell, you were just about to ask for more. He was kissing every inch of your skin, nestling himself against your most intimate parts, you did not expect to feel like this but the only thing in your mind was how you could reciprocate the favour.

“Frankly,” Baekhyun pinched your inner thigh. “I do not give a shit even if you wake up early. As long as you stay in bed until I wake up too.”

“Why is that?” the anticipation was unbearable.

Because I want to see you when I open my eyes, I want to feel you between my arms, Baekhyun thought.

“When I’m done with you, you will be sore as fuck for days, baby.” he answered. “I will bring you some medicine, so be a good girl.”

“Be a good girl?” you could not help but laughed. “Don’t tell me you are into those stuff.”

“Wait until meeting with Daddy Byun.” he learned two important things, the location of your spongy spot and where you wanted him to touch the most. He could make you to cum in seconds, but he was not an idiot and he already decided to turn you fucking stupid. He wanted to carve himself in the back of your eyelids, your ears, your mind and hear, he wanted to be drowned in your taste and aroma. He knew that your patience reaching to its limit but till you were going to learn the rules, he could play. “He is exactly what you need, you shitty brat.”

You raised your eyebrow, could not believe the weapon he just gave to you. As he was slowing his pace down, and clearly intending to edge you again and again.

In your fucking dreams, you thought.

You pulled his head to you with all the power left in your hands, Baekhyun confusedly looked at you. You did not waste even a second, kissed his plump lips while you were caressing his face like he was the most precious thing you ever held.

“Please,” you whispered to his ear when you broke the kiss. Gently. “I want Daddy to make me feel good.”

You could burst into laughs and tears simultaneously when Baekhyun’s face became a Renaissance painting in the blink of an eye if you would not be turned on so bad by him. His hands trembled so fucking bad, his ears turned to red, his mouth agape in O-Shape.

“What did you say to me?!”

“I want Daddy to make me feel good.” you pouted. Your inner voice was begging to God for doing this right, or tomorrow Chanyeol and Kyungsoo were going to be brutally murdered as you heard these stories from him and Kyungsoo. “Am I not Daddy’s good girl?”

Baekhyun did really have anymore self-control to begin with but what you were doing him now was just pushing his boundaries, thousands of voices in his head brought him to the solution.

“I swear, I will make you regret for this.” he muttered. “But for now… Screw it.”

He spread your legs apart and made them tangled around his waist as he gave himself enough space to move like a pendulum, back and forth. A hand around his cock, he rubbed himself up and down your folds as he rocked his hips against yours.

“I am gonna make you cum like this.” he grazed against your clit, made your toes curling in pleasure and you moaned his name. You were dying for more friction you were greedily lifted your hips to meet with his. Your head thrown back, and your hands found their way to grab his shoulders. “Then I will give it to you, again and again until you pass out. And maybe in your sleep. I will fuck you the way I desire.”

He lost the filter between his mouth and brain he was talking everything came to his mind, but you did not seem you would take any offense. His lips pressed on your neck, peppering kisses on your shoulders. You were a whimpering mess under him, he had you like a puppet and you noticed Baekhyun could pull your strings in every way he wanted.

“You are so fucking beautiful.” he praised in a choked whisper. “Fuck, you drive me crazy.”

You were not able of forming a logical sentence but the sounds you were producing from the back of your throat telling him that you did not believe him, but you desperately hoped his words to be true. He wanted to make you believe him, he wanted nothing but you to give him your trust and love. He went faster, rubbing himself over you as angling himself to make sure he could press on the right spot, enough to send you to cloud nine. You could feel your first orgasm forming in your stomach as you started to shake in his arms.

“Please,” you heard Baekhyun’s voice like a plea. “Say my name when you come.”

You did not need to hear his wish, since you were about to sing his name like a chant. You were on the verge of crying because of everything you feel for the first time. The pleasure was higher than you could expect, the pain was there but you could ignore it, Baekhyun was holding you tightly enough to make you count his heartbeat.

You felt like you were loved to the bits and that feeling multiplying the pleasure. He cared you, he was not selfish instead of his dirty words, he highly valued you and your feelings, and he had zero hesitation to show how much you were important to him.

He touched your lip, caressed your cheek and you leaned your face to his palm.

“Baekhyun,” you kissed his palm between hoarse breathes. He sharply gasped and fiercely kissed you with more teeth, his hips becoming erratic till made you groan. He wanted nothing but hearing his name from you, butterflies invaded his stomach every time you moan his name in such a needy, desperate tone. “Baekhyun, I thin-

“Yeah, me too, Sweetheart.” he grumbled, eyes tightly shut as you both moaned and rode out your shared highs. You held his biceps harshly like one who did not how to swim could grab on a rope. He kissed you, slowing down but still rubbing himself against you. “Did you?”

“Yeah.” you panted, not knowing what was going to be next and dying to learn. He kissed you again, a stark contrast to how he was rough on you just a minute ago, his lips were just soothing. You had to break the kiss as your lungs made you feel like you were about to have a heart stroke, he laughed and pressed his forehead against yours.

“Do you want to continue?” he whispered. “Or you want to stop?”

He was fucking afraid to hear your answer, he had no idea what the fuck he could do if you leave him hanging like this, but he was already aware of the rule number 1. Your wish is Baekhyun’s command.

“You are so cute.” you melted in his unexpected kindness but grinding him again just like he did you a few moments ago and could not resist to the urge of teasing him. Especially when you felt in a bless after your first orgasm. “But cinnamon rolls do not turn me on, Sweetie.”

“Shut up.” he bit your bottom lip but could not help grinning like a Cheshire cat. “You are grinding like a pervert.”

“So, what this makes you then?” you raised one eyebrow, and Baekhyun started to consider your fucking duality. In your mental ladder, there was no gap between being shy like a bride-to-be and putting the most experienced Babylonian into shame. Your fingers went through his hard member with a cocky smile on your lips. “You are very alive, Soldier.”

Baekhyun’s body temperature rose several degrees in a matter of seconds, but he casted an annoyed but amused look at you for the tiniest half of a second before returning to the little shit Baekhyun.

“Yes, the mighty Queen, fairest of all,” he caught your hand and pressed it to his crotch. “Will you take care of your humble servant?”

“Oh, shut up.” You immediately laughed to the stupid face he was making. Eh, for you there is no distance between radiating a dominant vibe and turning into a sheepiest girl in the blink of an eye. Baekhyun stopped your laughs with a rough, demanding and bruising kiss as he pushed you up to bed, bringing your hands above your hands.

“If you do not have a plan baby,” he smirked. “Let the Daddy takes good care of you.”

“This Daddy thing is gross, for your information.”

“I know.” his smirk just split his face into two. “But you are the one who calls me Daddy first.”

“Fu-

He tucked your words into your throat by bringing his mouth on your breast, swirling his tongue around your nipple before he sucked the bud delicately. You flinched in sudden jolt went through your veins, and his fingers again started to wander around your clit. You unconsciously trapped his hand between your legs, he chuckled but his patience was running thin with every moan, every whimper and gasps from you. While he was rubbing you, there was one question in his mind which prevented him to go further.

Were you really a virgin or were you mocking about it?

It was fucking clear that you were clueless and unexperienced, but Baekhyun’s logic could not accept that someone like you, clever, beautiful, kind, charming and attractive as fuck, could be stayed untouched till now. It made him afraid as much as boiling his blood.

“Baekhyun, I want you.” he heard your voice, and lifted his eyes to yours. He saw the sincerity in your irises, reflecting his own desires, lust and love for you. “Now.”

You said what you wanted with confidence, just like answering his inner question, pushing him all limits and boundaries with three words.

Baekhyun gave up and gave in.

“Fuck,” he reached to the back of his jogging pants, taking a condom out of it. That moment made you jealous for a moment, you knew you had no right to be, but you could help. Why the heck he was carrying it in the back pocket of his fucking jogging pants, like he was always ready to accept if someone knocks his door for a real nice sex? He tucked the package between his teeth and teared it open.

You closed your eyes.

“Open them.” you heard his voice, it was not a request it was an order, catching you off guard, you obeyed but in shock. “I want you to look at me, when I put it in.”

“Don’t you find your selection of words,” you took a deep breath, trying to make yourself ready for the pain. “Vulgar?”

“Well,” he placed his hand on your knees before spreading your legs and getting a position to give him easy reach to your insides. The adrenaline in your veins turning tenfold, as you could start to feel fear, but Baekhyun did not seem to notice your big-doe eyes. “Sue me.”

He pushed himself inside.

You screamed.

Baekhyun frozen to the death, even his lips turned to death frozen purple. He stopped himself in the halfway, leaning into his elbows to support himself and not crash you under his weight. Tears formed in your eyes, and you cried. You could not stop them, and you started to cry. Jesus, you did expect pain, but you did not fucking expect such a pain. You felt like Baekhyun just teared you apart, though he did not push himself fully, thank God, your tears were falling down.

Baekhyun’s mind adapted the situation, placing the pieces on the right spots and his 10.000 CPU IQ found the perfect sentence to tell you.

“I DID NOT THINK YOU WERE REALLY A VIRGIN!”

Nothing could make you not to think about the pain you were feeling, but Baekhyun’s wonderful, thoughtful and great analyse on your very current situation. You glared him, although your eyes were full of tears, you managed to look at him like a vengeful Fury.

And you bite his shoulder with all the power your chin had.

Baekhyun screamed.

“Are you okey?” he breathed heavily when both you stopped swearing and whining. “Did I hurt you so bad?”

Well, the panic in his voice was real and his arms started to shake due to the position he was holding himself since the last 15 minutes. He refused to push in, either push off. He had to admit, the physical pain he felt was really high, but he deserved it. He was inconsiderate and lost himself in rush. His regret was visible on his face, so you just forgave him.

Also, the pain was soothing by every second and you started to feel something, so you were prone to forgive him.

And biting him helped you to be gracious.

“Eh, it might be… But it’s okey now.” you assured him with an attempt to smile, but when he moved an inch, your eyebrows knitted again. “Okey, it is not okey yet, give me a minute.”

“As long as you need.” he leaned into your cheek, kissing the trail of tears. “I am so sorry, Indy. I got a little bit excited, and I lost myself in the moment.”

“Yeah, I could see that.” you snorted. “Or better, I livedthat.”

“I did not think you could be a virgin.” he weakly admitted. “Okey, you are so unexperienced but a virgin…”

“Not so virgin anymore.” you pointed to his cock buried in you.

“Sorry, Indy.” he kissed your temple, searching your face and saw your nerves were relaxing by every second. “I do not think when I am with you.”

He was genuine with his words, even making himself very surprise, but they were fucking true. He gathered you in his arms, very carefully and gently embracing you. His lips were wandering around your ear and the back of your neck, his breaths were tickling you in a tingling way.

“You drive me so fucking crazy.” he mumbled to your ear. “I wish I could take time back.”

“Why?”

“I hurt you,” he was still panicking and worrying, cursing himself. “I did not want your first experience as something horrible to remember.”

You turned to his face, your eyes covered by a layer of shining stars, startling Baekhyun and casting spells on him. He forgot how to breathe again, and he was about to believe he was not going to make it till morning.

“So, why don’t you start to give me an experience worth to remember?”

He distinguishably gasped and choked on his own cough his eyes were filling with lust in the matter of seconds from the effect of your words.

“Are you okey?” he wanted to be sure this time. “Can I move?”

You smiled to him, but it was not just a smile. Baekhyun felt you just mirrored all the warmness, love and trust you had to him with your tiny smile, while your eyes were full of a galaxy, shining like a sky with stars. You caressed his face with both of your hands and guided him to your lips.

With your approval, Baekhyun’s hips started to move, but he was slow and careful this time. He was very certain on not losing himself like a fucking monster again, but he was also sure of he was going to get your taste this time. He was going to make you his and only his. With every thrust, he checked your expression, your smile was still tugged on your lips and your eyes softening with every minute. “Does it feel good?” He questioned, nervous as fuck even though he was ten hundred times experienced than you.

“Eh,” you could not help but impishly grin, especially when the pain was lessening, getting cocky was easier. “I’m getting sleepy, Softie.”

“What?” Baekhyun’s chin dropped, losing the pace he had and buried himself deeper and faster. You muffled your moan, wrapping your legs tighter around his waist. Baekhyun understood what you mean, and a reflection of your grin tugged on his face, but the problem was while your grin was impish, his was the devil’s own. “So, I have to earn my bread.”

“Did you just call my as a b- Good Lord!”

“Are you still a Sleeping Beauty, baby?” he began to move his hips faster and deeper, holding you tightly and lifting your hips a bit. A new angle gave him the chance of hitting the fucking right spot, you found yourself curling your toes and squeezing tighter around him. “God, you feel really so good.”

Every time he called you baby, you wanted nothing but punch him in the face because he had you shuddering at the little, stupid pet name, coming so easily from his mouth but making you feel like his baby. Plus, to your dismay, he sounded fucking sexy when he called you like this, like a boyfriend calling his girl, making you feel so special for him, making you feel you were his and he was yours, making you believe that you were meant to be together for the rest of your lives. You closed your eyes in shame, but you were meant to be his.

You hated it but you irrevocably loved it.

“Hey,” he kindly called your name, following an invisible string from your closed eyelid to your chin. “Please, keep your eyes on me.”

“Why?”

“Because” he dragged his tongue to your lips and asking for entrance. You welcomed him to a soft kiss, he moaned your name into your mouth as his pelvis grazing against your skin. Your attention was split into half, instead of roughness of his hips there was softness on his lips and Goddamnit you were dying for more. “You do not have a single idea how much I’ve been wanting to see your face when I fuck you.”

“Your kind words have no limit, for real.” you grumbled but laughing at the same time. His shamelessness was contagious, getting under your skin. “I knew you were dreaming about me, you little hentai.”

You have no idea how much I am deceiving myself on the feelings I have for you, Baekhyun thought but never say. You have no idea how much I’ve been aching to have you, to hear your voice, to be with you, to taste you and to be able of keeping you on my side. Always.

“A man can dream.” he switched his position as he leaned back to sit on his heels, bringing your legs into his shoulders. Your eyes went wild after this, you were grateful for two things. First, you could watch Baekhyun’s face, gloomy with affection, care and lust and second, you could take a very good look at Baekhyun’s body. His muscles were flexing with every move he did, and he was a good sight to behold.

“Baekhyun,” you bit your lip, your eyes were locking into the sway of his hips. “God, I h-

“Baby,” Baekhyun started to move harder. “God is not here, but I fucking love the way you say my name.”

You just have to say my name. I want you to sing my name. I want you to call my name. I want you to say I am the only one and will be the one for you. I want to have you all for myself, I want everything of you, and I want to give everything of me to you, he desperately wanted to tell you, but he could not.

“I want to make you come.” he said, rocking his hips faster as he started to feel his own high forming inside of him. “I need you to moan my name again. I need to hear you, baby girl.”

You arched your back, not resisting to the need of holding something, anything and grabbed the bed sheets. With every thrust, your voice becoming high-pitched, you covered your mouth with both of hands.

Baekhyun did not like it.

With a swift move, he caught your hands, held them under his iron cage and leaned on you as he switched his position again, he unexpectedly ripped another loud moan from you.

“Baekhyun,” you sobbed. “If anyone hears m-

“So let them to hear you, baby girl.” he thrusted himself faster, harder and deeper, just to pull his name out of your system. He hovered above you, catching your swollen lips and taking your breath away. “Let them know you are mine.”

After he called you his, two things happened. You cried his name, and his movements became rougher enough to make you reach your high.

“Come for me, baby.” you heard his hoarse voice from a distance, and you just did what you have been told. Feeling you teared apart under his touch and around him made Baekhyun so vulnerable and after a few more thrust, he was panting your name and burying his nose in the crook of your neck just wanting to seal the moment with your scent.

You both trying to catch your breaths, opening your eyes but even the basic tasks were so hard After a respective time of minutes, you opened your eyes as you managed to collect yourself. Instead of you, Baekhyun already managed to be back and watching you with a soft expression.

“What?” you snorted. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Like what?” he repeated his question from the beginning of the night. He knew that you also remembered that moment.

“Like you are going to eat me alive.” you repeated yourself, giggling like a schoolgirl.

“That’s my intention.” he gently kissed your cheek. “As long as you let me.”

You could feel the adrenaline in your veins but did not want to say anything could make you embarrassed later on.

“Eh,” you averted your eyes, fearing he could see the pure happiness in there. “You proved yourself as useful.”

“I’d love to continue demonstrating how much useful I am,” Baekhyun grinned, and holding your chin tightly, enough to lock his eyes onto your own. “But tomorrow we will wake up very early.”

“Yeah.” that’s the best you could do due to the tiredness you felt, and sleep never seemed like something desirable to you before. “I want to accompany you to the door, but I am too tired for that.”

“You do not need to accompany me, baby.” he dragged you into his arms in one swift move. “Because first we will clean ourselves, second we will sleep.”

“Wh-wha-Will you- Can you- Don’t you-?!”

He kissed your nose and pressed his fingers to your mouth.

“I will be staying with you, Sweetheart.” his voice tone was telling you, you better not to discuss or protest.

“But Baekhyun,” you tried to call him into logic. “If we can leave the room together, everyone wil-

“As I said before, Indy.” he grinned like a Cheshire cat, but on the contrary the confidence mask on his face, he was sweating and figuratively shitting on his pants due to the fear of your answer. “Let them know you are mine.”

Baekhyun have ever never wanted something in his entire life, but taking a picture of your face after he called you his.

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yanak324 · 3 years ago

Note

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💖

Um hello @jjofalltrades - best ask ever!! It was surprisingly not very hard to select the stories that resonate the most with me. What was surprising is how varied they were in terms of fandoms... In no particular order, my five favorite fics :)

Old Love (m) - The Vampire Diaries/The Originals crossover AU featuring the one and only Caroline Forbes on a self-discovery journey that obvi ends with her and Klaus Mikaelson finding their way to each other. It's insane to think this story is nearly a decade old, but it's always going to be near and dear to my heart because it helped me deal with a shit-ton of grief...the true definition of art healing.

The Last Time (e) - Game of Thrones (TV)/ASOIAF modern AU focused on Arya and Gendry reconnecting after a decade apart. If you've been following me for some time, this one should come as no surprise. I've had this story in my head for 3 years and counting, and I am determined to finish. She my baby and I love her.

hold me, thrill me, kiss me, kill me (e) - Game of Thrones (TV)/ASOIAF modern au where Arya and Gendry can't seem to get their sh*t together and f*ck instead...lolol. Seriously though, this one is so special to me because I wrote it for @fineosaur, who is one of the treasures I discovered in the gendrya fandom. And it was also the easiest thing I've ever written I think...no thought here just inspiration.

surest thing i know (m) - Gossip Girl (TV) post-canon oneshot that fills in the gaps before the five year time jump in the finale. I did a manic re-watch of the original series in early 2021 and I discovered to my delight that despite me being a Dan/Blair shipper through and through, I couldn't let go of this idea of Dan and Serena finding their happy ending after the show did them so diiiirty in the final season. So I wrote my own fix-it...and it was such a liberating and fun experience. I still reflect on it from time to time like the dork that I am.

you undid me like a fairytale (m) - Game of Thrones (TV)/ASOIAF modern au where Arya has to contend with some very intense and unclear feelings for Jon's bestie, Gendry...featuring appearances by grumpy!Gendry, perfectboyfriend!Ned, and one of my favorite love confessions I've ever written. Also helps that I wrote it for one of the sweetest humans ever @beautifulinsanesanity. <3

Honorable mention goes to my 2020 Gendrya Big Bang submission: after me comes the flood. It wasn't the easiest fic to write but it turned out exactly as I envisioned & I got to work with the talented @thedesignateddriver on the fan art.

#gendrya #dan/serena #klaroline #modern aus all the way #my stories #gendrya fanfiction #gossip girl #TVD #TO #asks #thank you JJ <3

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onepieceheadcannons · 3 years ago

Text

So this wasn't requested but I wanted to give some random Headcanons

Now this post definitely isn't for everyone's taste,

Now I know quite a bit about ABO dynamics and I haven't seen any headcanons on what each strawhat would be. Now if you do not like ABO, do not worry this will be my only post with it that isn't requested and I won't be offended if you skip this.

This definitely isn't the most detailed it can go but it's like 3 am for me and I just want these HC's outta my mind.

The Strawhats

Luffy;

This man is an Alpha, I mean how else could he become Pirate King.

Now I mean no hate to omegas, I think they should be highly respected. But based on what a society in ABO is like, it makes the most sense for Luffy to be an Alpha.

He is protective and strong, plus conquerors Haki is very similar to pheromones. He would do anything for his crew and he wants them safe.

He wouldn't be appealed to have an Omega, it wouldn't be on his agenda and he'd handle a rut very privately.

He would fight his way to the top fairly and wouldn't discriminate against betas and omegas.

I'm also down to hear anyone's different opinions on any of these.

Zoro;

I can see him in many different ways, I can see him as an Alpha but I can see Omega with insecurities about it, but my most confident answer is Beta.

The reason why is because his undying loyalty to Luffy. He would fulfill the role as a Beta quite well. He would be able to avoid the hormones of others and be quite unbothered by all of it. He would work slightly harder to be the greatest swordsman especially if Mihawk is an Alpha. He wouldn't of presented before his best friend died but if she began showing signs of an Alpha, he would probably feel the extra competitive edge to be better.

He wouldn't care if someone is an Alpha or Omega, why should that shit matter to him.

And he wouldn't really care about what his partner was.

If he was an Omega, he would use suppressants and be damned if anyone knew. He would probably beat himself up over it and would build a high tolerance to pheromones. He would NEVER let someone help through a heat unless a long term relationship. And he would never be caught in an Mpreg situation.

And if he was an Alpha, he would accept Luffy as overall Alpha. He wouldn't feel like fighting it and he has the serious demeanor. He would protect any omegas but refuse to participate in a heat. He would fight himself a shit ton and never let his guard down.

Usopp;

Beta man, there's no way he'd be an Alpha. I mean he would always feel sad about it most likely, wanting to be brave and strong. He would probably have some lingering thoughts about the system, he wouldn't see Omegas as less than but he would probably assume that Omegas and Alphas are meant together and he has to find a Beta.

Until his crush on Kaya, the caring Omega. He would fight himself internally over it but she wouldn't care if he was a Beta. She probably was told she had to find a nice Alpha but that wouldn't affect her, she really cares about Usopp. She even goes to medical school to fix him up.

He would be disturbed by Ruts and Heats, he would get flustered and stay away from whoever was having one at the time.

Sanji;

Just like Zoro I can see any of them,

But I'm leaning Beta/Omega. No offense if you are like 😡 I want an Alpha Sanji don't disrespect my man's like that

Reason why I can see Omega, he is quite loving and I think he'd make a great dad. He loves ladies so much and being an Omega wouldn't stop him. I mean hey, look how much he likes fiesty women. He definitely wouldn't be against a female alpha, as long as he doesn't know about the extra appendage during a rut.

His family storyline would play into this, his dad would've been pissed if all Sanjis siblings are an Alpha but Sanji was a "weak" omega son. He would definitely be an angry and powerful Omega, training his tolerance to pheromones. And oh my god he'd be so angry if Zoro is a Beta/Alpha.

He would avoid Alpha men, I don't see him ever wanting to date one. I think he may be a little fruity but it's so internalized he would never be okay dating any male. He would probably hope for any female, but preferring an Omega/Beta.

If Sanji is a Beta, he'd be right up there with being a supporter of Luffy. He would definitely offer to help Omegas through a heat (and promptly get turned down) . He would be frustrated anytime an Alpha was in a rut and avoid being near them at all costs. It would piss him off especially if they wanted one of the crew.

His preferences would stay the same as if he were an omega.

And as an Alpha, oh my this man would be the most respectful ever. He would be damned before he let himself with an Omega without consent said before the heat was even close. He would protect his Omega at all costs. And he would let them bite his neck back. And he would defend any omegas in a vulnerable position. He definitely has a savior complex about it though. But he definitely would believe he could only have an Omega.

Brook;

He is a skeleton, this wouldn't even affect him.

As a human tho, I could see an Omega with his love of the arts and his love for Laboon and his crew. But I don't have much of detailed one for him. Beta, possibly but that's the easiest to presume someone as.

Chopper;

He is a damn reindeer. I just wanted to include my besties name but yeah he is a reindeer no way in hell would this affect him and he'd just make suppressants for everyone. Even with the human human fruit, that wouldn't add abo to his form.

Franky;

Now there's a chance that now as a cyborg this doesn't affect him. But pre cyborg or if it did, I see him as an Omega.

This man cries his heart out (which I love dearly about him) and he is such a big bro/dad figure.

He wouldn't care what anyone was but as a kid he may have had some trouble with the concept until Tom taught him better. Esp with Ice for Brains, who I could see as an Alpha/Beta so Franky may have felt less than.

Robin;

Alpha or Beta, but she isn't an Omega.

She holds herself up with an air of stoic and dark humor/themes. She would be quite a helpful Beta and she'd protect any Omega friends. She would feel very strongly about Omegas being seen as the same as everyone else. And she would feel very insecure if she was made to submit to anyone unwillingly.

I can see Alpha tho, (esp Frobin <3), she lets Franky let his tears out and she is such a good friend. She would struggle to let her feelings out which would make her line in Enies lobby even more important. She would be experienced and she would probably offer to help an omega she was very close to but she wouldn't settle down unless you are Franky or a very solid partner to her. She wouldn't care if you were another Alpha or Beta though, she'd love you for you.

Jinbe/Jimbei;

Now I don't know if Fish people/men would even be affected but if they were.. he would be...

Alpha, but in a very nonchalant way. He was a warlord, and not just anyone would get that. He wouldn't ever make someone submit and he would fight for rights for everyone esp Omegas in his community. If he did settle down, it wouldn't matter to him. Just as long as he can share his feelings in a safe place.

But beta would work as well, he is quite devoted to his crews and is a loyal person in general and shows alot of care to Luffy during the timeskip.

I also haven't finished Fish man Island yet so I have little to work with.

Nami;

I did save her for last, this is probably the most biased one. I mean as you guys will learn, she's my girlfriend/wife, so I may see her slightly different than someone else would.

Now I feel like as many of the others, she can fit in all three. I mean everyone is going to show traits to each kind which is why I try to explain myself for each.

Alpha, i can see this. She's very fiesty and she sure as hell wouldn't want to submit to anyone. She would be a little embarrassed during a Rut and she would use suppressants. She would be fine with not being top dog but she definitely wants her respect, she's the entire reason they get anywhere.

She isn't looking for romance but she'd be fine with anyone as long as they were worth it. I think an Alpha male would be her least likely pair though, that person would have to be quite honorable and prove themselves to her as good enough.

If she's an Omega, she would be quite angry about it. She wouldn't want to be perceived as weak and sure as hell would use suppressants and she'd be damned if an alpha helped her through a heat. The only way she would, would be after a super solid relationship where there's extreme trust. She would slap the crap out of Sanji if he tried anything or suggested anything, she wouldn't have any patience especially after she had to deal with the bullshit she heard her entire time with Arlong and other crews stealing treasure.

If she was a beta, she'd probably go after another Beta. Keep thing simple. She would eyeroll at any alphas and she would be over the whole alpha/omega bullshit.

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barbarianprncess · 4 years ago

Note

“Forget it, you’re a fucking asshole.” and “Nobody’s seen you in days.” that would be inchresting 👀👀

for mari my beloved,

(aka @chironshorseass )

as you know this sort of got away from me. one second i was writing a drabble of angst, the next I'm on the 16th page with no end in sight. so this maybe isn’t what you were expecting but have 5k of post-botl/pre-tlo pining idiot besties who are in love :).

(also this hasn’t been beta’d and i'm welcome to volunteers i just finished and got so excited i had to post.)

(dear one anon who asked for 'forget it you're a fucking asshole' too, if you're reading this, don't worry yours is coming too i promise)

(final s/o to @posallys for letting me scream about them)

24 hours

read on ao3

enjoy <3

...

Percy is fucking exhasted.

He was supposed to be back at camp four days ago. The deal was he’d spend weekdays at camp to plan and train and weekends at home to relax. But, he kept putting it off, opting to keep the weight on his chest that’d been pushing him down since last summer bearable, and not crushing the way it always was at camp. So, when he gets through the barrier, aside from nodding hello to Beckendorph and Silena, he makes a beeline to his cabin. He manages to keep his eyes down until he’s standing at his porch steps- and that when he sees her.

Annabeth is pacing on his balcony. She’s wearing jean shorts and her camp shirt, but instead of her typical ponytail her hair is in two intricate braids that reach her breastbone. She’s muttering to herself and wringing her hands together and for a moment Percy forgets. He forgets the past year and all the arguing and the bitterness and he sees Annabeth is worried about something and he reaches out as if to hold her. To wrap his arms around her and tell her that everything is going to be alright.

But then he remembers.

He retracts his hands.

He clears his throat and Annabeth startles. Her grey eyes are as intense as ever and he can almost see her defences come up. He hates that it's because of him. Annabeth is the first to break the silence.

“Hey.” Her voice is small but clear. Not yet vulnerable, but gives Percy the sense that it could be soon.

“What’re you doing here?” He isn’t sure he said it out loud until she ducks her head and flushes.

“Nobody’s seen you in days.” It’s not the accusation he expects. It's also not an answer to his question. Just an observation.

“I’m here now.” He says it like it’s an invitation. He then becomes incredibly aware that he's still looking up at her from the bottom of the steps, so he grabs his duffel, bounds up the stairs, and opens his cabin door. He hesitates and meets her eye with another silent question. She answers by stepping inside.

He drops his bag by his bed and turns on the light. The air is charged with unasked questions and unfinished conversations. He can’t stand it. He’s about to attempt small talk when she says something that nearly knocks down where he stands.

“I miss you.” She’s wringing her hands again and she won’t look him in the eye, but takes his silence as confusion.

“That’s what I came here to say, that I miss you.”

Percy isn’t sure what to say. Percy isn’t sure this conversation is really happening, she’s broken so many of the fragile rules they’d been following all year. He’s 98% sure this is a really vivid daydream to cope with…. well everything.

He decides that on the off chance this is real he should play it safe so, he states the obvious.

“I’m here. We’re here, together. We’re together and-” She cuts him off and begins to ramble.

“Strained and awkward and it's like there’s this chasm between us of all these things from last summer. From our kiss, to you dying, and then you not dying, and Rachel, and Luke, and Luke being Not-Luke, and it’s like we can’t have a conversation anymore and that sucks ‘cause..”

She pauses for the first time to look up at him and her eyes are shining.

“You’re kinda my best friend. And I miss you. Everything sucks and I'm tired of fighting. And I really miss you.”

Percy’s too shocked to say anything. It occurs to him that he should respond but he can’t find the words. All the unspoken rules they had in place and Annabeth had just steamrolled right through them. Percy realizes his mistake in staying silent as Annabeth flushes and turns to leave.

“Forget it, you’re a fucking asshole.” And oh no Annabeth had just swallowed her pride (which he knows better than anyone is no easy feat) to say everything he’d wanted to hear and he can’t let her walk away.

“I miss you too.” The words tumble out of him, clunky and a little awkward but earnest. Annabeth stops and faces him, eyes suspicious in the way that breaks his heart a little bit.

“Really?”

“Yeah. Really.”

Annabeth exhales and shoots him a tremulous smile he hasn’t seen in forever, and oh he’d forgotten what it did to his chest when she did. Before he does something stupid like tell her he thinks her smile is the best this he’s ever seen, he clears his throat.

“So…. this chasm you said, what do you propose we do about it?”

“24 hours. For 24 hours everything that I listed before is a non-issue. After that we can go back to…..whatever it is we’re doing now. One day, where we’re just two friends spending a day at camp together..”

“Best friends.” He corrects without thinking. She rolls her eyes, and he almost giggles because he’d missed her eyerolls too.

She holds out her hand to shake, all business-like and gods he missed her.

“Best friends. 24 hours.”

He takes her hand. Her shake is firm, her palms are warm, her eyes are bright, and she is beautiful.

“Where do we start?”

...

Apparently it starts with homework.

After he asked where they’d begin, Annabeth had flashed him a wicked grin, damn-near dragged him off the porch, and made a beeline to the Big House. Before last summer, Annabeth had been “tutoring” him. Once a week they’d head down to the Big House and spend hours combing through myths and legends, practicing Ancient Greek, and all things Demigod 101. It probably wasn’t ever that useful considering Percy barely remembered any of it, but Annabeth had always insisted. After last summer they’d non-verbally decided to take a break from it (eachother), and they’d never started back up.

Usually he’d halfheartedly complain that it was pointless and say some form of ‘I know enough to not die and that's good enough for me’ every five minutes, but today he nods dutifully along as Annabeth talks animatedly about Orpheus, and Theseus, and all the other -eus’s. He’ll ask a dumb question that they both know he knows the answer to, but she answers him anyway. He watches the wisps of hair that refused to be tied down, and counts the tiny sunspots across her nose and the way she wrinkles her eyebrow when she forgets a name.

It’s not terrible. It’s kinda the opposite. He’d forgotten that she made studying not terrible.

He’s so screwed.

...

The stables are almost empty when they get there.

After 2 hours of studying, (one hour of studying, one hour of laughing and talking and calling it studying) Annabeth declared it was his turn to pick the activity. Tired of sitting still Percy lands on tending to the pegasi. It was one of his favorite things about camp plus he got to teach Annabeth something for once. Annabeth was comfortable enough around them but she never spent anytime with them that she didn’t have to.

When they entered the barn, Blackjack gave him a look and he blushed remembering all the times he’d come to the stables with Beckendorph to vent about how much he missed Annabeth, (He didn’t even know horses could give looks but here we are) and silently told him it was a long story and to be cool. Annabeth had stopped next to one of the cleaning stations and was looking at him expectantly. He cleared his throat and they got to work. He showed her how to brush them and how to get tangles out of their manes, where to scritch them and where not to scratch them. He showed her how to check their feathers and make sure their wings were healthy and how to get them to be still enough to check.

Annabeth was excellent with them, gentle hands and kind eyes. Whenever she approached one she would look them in the eye and talk to them like the intelligent creatures they were. Each time she got started taking care of a new steed she’d gently reach for the muzzle and say in a soothing voice:

“Hi, my name is Annabeth and I'm going to groom you today. Don’t worry, I'm friends with Percy, and he taught me exactly how to take care of you. If I’m doing something wrong, let him know and he’ll tell me how to fix it. I promise I’ll do my best to make sure you feel like a brand new pegasus.”

Frankly, it was fucking adorable.

Pork-pie had taken a special liking to Annabeth, telepathically asking Percy if she could groom him more often. When he told this to Annabeth she’d beamed and enthusiastically agreed to come down whenever she could. Percy had off-handedly suggested that they take them out for a bit and Annabeth immediately started to release Pork-Pie from his stall.

They flew over camp for what could’ve been minutes or hours. He was lucky that Blackjack could fly himself because Percy couldn’t take his eyes off his flying partner. Her braids held firm, but a few rebellious curls were now whipping with the wind. The atmosphere combined with the speed they were flying, made her cheeks red and splotchy. Her smile is brighter than the sun, and eyes- gods her eyes were going to be the death of him. The sun and her mood (he had this theory that her eyes changed color based on her emotions) had made them almost blue, they are full of laughter, and Percy adores her. And when she directs her sunshine-smile at him, Percy can’t help but smile back.

(He doesn’t stop smiling until they land.)

...

As they're putting their pegusi back in their stalls, Blackjack decides to give him some advice.

“I know I don’t understand all of your fragile human emotions, but I know enough. There’s a lot of bad in this world of ours, and from what you’ve told me about this war business it's only gonna get worse. You gotta make the most of the good.” He tilts his head over to Annabeth who is cooing at a preening Pork-Pie.

“You and ladyboss, you’re good together. And really nothing else matters.”

He doesn’t have time to even think about a response when Annabeth is walking over from Pork-Pie’s stall, and telling him it's time for a picnic.

...

(“What did Blackjack say to you? You looked kinda flustered when I got you.” Percy almost drops the plate he’s piling with food from the buffet. He’s gotten three pointedly confused looks at the sight of him and Annabeth together and not strangling each other and a thumbs-up from Grover. He and Annabeth are getting their food and then they’ll go sit by the beach.

“Oh,” He clears his throat and goes with the first thing he thinks of. “Blackjack calls you ladyboss.” Good that's good, not technically a lie either.

“Huh. Weird.” Annabeth, seemingly satisfied with this, returns her attention to the grapes she is adding to her plate.)

...

“Where do you go?” Annabeth asks. She’s sitting next to him in the sand brushing crumbs off her fingers. They had been eating and watching the ocean in comfortable silence and Percy furrows his eyebrows in confusion. “Lots of days when you’re at camp for lunch and sometimes dinner you just disappear for hours. And I know you aren’t going home because your stuff is still in your cabin. Where do you go?”

It’s not an accusation, just a question. Percy gets the feeling she doesn’t want to know so she can disturb, she just worries. Percy knows her. He knows she’s always planning for the worst and she needs to be able to get to him if there's an emergency.

(It strikes him that she notices when he disappears and he feels guilty but also just a little hopeful. Because she misses him as much as he misses her.)

He stacks their plates and rests them on the blanket they’d been sharing. Percy stands up and holds out his hand, gesturing for Annabeth to do the same.

“C’mon, I’ll show you.”

...

He tells her to close her eyes. She gives him a skeptical look but obliges and holds out her hands, a silent request for him to guide her. It’s almost easier to take her hands in his without those trademark eyes on him. But it’s not any less intense. As soon as their fingers interlock sparks of electricity lick up his arm. Now that her eyes are closed he can look at her face up close without fear. Her curls had gotten more unruly as the day went on, and the ringlets that framed her face blew lightly in the ocean breeze. He leads her slowly towards the ocean, using his powers to dry any spot she walks on. He sees her brows furrow when she notices how far they’ve walked towards the ocean without their feet getting wet, but she doesn’t say anything. He parts the water for her to walk through, and when the water rises above their heads, he forms an air bubble that moves with them, keeping them dry. When they get to a good spot, squeezes her hand signaling for her to stop with him, but tells her to keep her eyes closed. Then he closes his eyes with her and calls out to the ocean's creatures, making himself a beacon.

Here I am, he thinks. The son of Poseidon.

Come to me.

Minutes pass.

“You can open your eyes now.” He whispers.

She does, and lets out a soft gasp, “Oh, Percy.”

He smiles and looks out at the scene before them. He’d come down here after a particularly bad day and just wanted to sit in silence. It was an accident, calling the creatures to him. Subconsciously, he must have sent a message along that he was feeling alone. And all sorts of sea creatures - from greek monsters and to great white sharks to your average cod had flocked to him. And he didn’t feel so alone. So now, whenever he couldn’t take the human world, he’d come down here and talk to the fish.

This time he’d actually concentrated on getting a message out and they did not disappoint. He couldn’t count all the animals that had heeded his call but it was a sight to behold. He had willed some glowing coral from the deeper ocean to stay in that spot, which created a multicolored tint to everything around them.

Normally they come right up close to him, but this time they were hesitant. And as he listened to the creatures and heard more than a few whispers of Athena and stranger, he’s suddenly reminded that she’s the only person he’s ever done this with. It’s his favorite place, and she is the only other person ever to see it.

“It's okay guys, she’s a friend.” He reassures them. When he looked back at Annabeth, her mouth was still hung open and she was staring out at the scene in front of them in wonder. He smiles at her dazed silence and uses the hand he’s still holding to tug her up to the barrier of the bubble. The first creature willing to accept Annabeth is a baby spotted dolphin. He swims towards the clumsily with eager fins and pokes at the barrier with it’s snout. Annabeth's eyes widen in fear and look up at him and it takes a second to realize she isn’t afraid of the animal, but of their bubble popping.

“Don’t worry, the bubble won’t break unless I break it myself, and it’ll last however long I want it to.” He reassures her. He senses her hesitation so he guides her hand up to meet the snout of the baby dolphin who seems fascinated with Annabeth herself. He reaches his snout and head bumps directly into the spot on the bubble where her palm is placed.

Annabeth lets out a laugh, the kind of laugh that sort of bubbles out of you without warning and it’s the best thing Percy’s ever heard. He watches as the shock fades for her features and she pets the infant creature through the sheen of bubble keeping them dry. The animals begin to warm up to Annabeth as well, and as soon as they figure out she’s not some evil Athena agent sent to destroy the ocean, they join in on the fun. Hundreds of ocean creatures of all sizes begin doing tricks, nuzzling up to the flexible barrier, all vying for Annabeth’s attention. Annabeth herself is happy to oblige. Ever consistent, she introduces herself to each creature she meets. She smiles and laughs and reaches out to all the animals she can. Percy is happy simply to watch her and keep the bubble up but then she turns to him, eyebrow drawn together in concern, pointing to a particularly awnry seahorse, and asks what it's saying.

“He says his name is Frank and that he’s ‘too pregnant for this shit.’”

Annabeth stares blankly.

“His words not mine.” Percy offers hands up in surrender.

Then she snorts and then they’re laughing, they’re laughing harder than they have in years, and it's that kind of hysterical laugh where everything around them makes it more funny, and soon Percy’s clutching his stomach and Annabeth is beet red. As soon as it subsides enough to get words out Annabeth is shaking his arm saying “Do that one! What's he saying? Oh my gods what even is that? Does that one like me? That ones majestic, what's his name? Oh Percy, look!! Look at that one!”

So he translates and they laugh and he teaches her different species and Annabeth nods along like it’s very important stuff. She pets the baby dolphin through the bubble and listens intently to all the animals telling her stories, even though she can’t understand a word until Percy tells her what they said. And when it’s time to go he sees the tears in her eyes and tells Percy to promise the baby that she’ll visit all the time, even though they both know she can’t.

(Apparently the baby dolphins name is Arnold, and according to his mother, he was so enthralled by Annabeth because when he first saw her he thought she was an angel.)

(Percy thinks he’s not too far off.)

...

(“That was incredible Percy. Thank you so much for sharing that with me.” They had been walking in silence as they made their way back to camp using the bubble, enjoying the afterglow of their adventure.

“Yeah, of course.” She smiles at him and looks ahead.

He’s not sure why he does it but without looking at her he reaches out and ever so carefully, and brushes her fingertips with his.

Her breath hitches, but she doesn’t say anything.

Then suddenly, miraculously, her hand tilts and their fingers are interlocked.

And there's no pretense of guiding her somewhere, they’re just….holding hands.

And it's perfect.)

...

Percy thinks if he’s not in love with her, he’s pretty damn close.

Because this feeling, the one he gets in his chest when he looks at her, is what love feels like.

...

When they resurface, they’re met with twinkling lights and the last three stragglers singing softly at the campfire. It’s almost time for lights out.

Oh.

Oh no.

Annabeth seems to be coming to the same realization, as she clears her throat and lets go of his hand. He misses her fingers immediately.

“So, I guess we should start heading to bed.” She looks at him, hopeful but he’s stuck. Stuck in the feeling of dread at the idea of waking up tomorrow and not having his best friend. Suddenly the idea of leaving her side is so unbearable he can’t speak.

“Goodnight, Percy.” She’s turning around and backing away when the words lodged in his throat come unstuck.

“8 in the morning.” She turns giving him a ‘what are you on about’ look.

“That when you came and got me at 8 in the morning. We agreed on 24 hours. It's only been 12.”

She smiles slow and wide, “You know you're right, that math checks out.”

“We had very clear terms. We even shook on it.”

“Yes we did.”, she nods gravely. “It’s a binding agreement, we can’t just ignore it.”

“So what do we do?”

She flashes a wicked grin. “You aren’t the only one with a secret spot.”

...

Percy arrives in the Big House 20 minutes after curfew was called, exactly as Annabeth had instructed. He felt her presence before she re-materialized in front of him and in a low conspiratorial whisper tells him to follow her.

They sneak down to the basement and Percy is confused when she keeps walking towards the corner. She lifts up a floorboard and starts climbing down a ladder. She beckons him to join her and when he makes it down the ladder, he can’t help the smile that breaks out. It’s a sort of underground attic, complete with a worn dusty couch, blankets and an old TV.

“I found it my first year at camp by accident. I was down doing chores and one of the broom strings got caught under it. I didn’t have many friends except for….” She lets him fill in the blank rather than say the name out loud. “And when he wanted to be with kids his own age, I’d come here. There's only five movies down here and I memorized them.” She looks down at her shoes. “I know it’s not the sea floor but..”

“Are you kidding? It’s awesome. What are the movies?”

They dig around and end up finding two more that apparently seven-year-old Annabeth did not think worth the time. They watch Die Hard first, (“Oh my Gods I can't believe you haven’t watched Die Hard. This is a travesty. It’s a classic Annabeth.”) then Pulp Fiction, ("I can’t believe it, all the shit you gave me for not seeing Die Hard, and you haven’t Pulp Fiction?? You absolute heathen!") and Clueless. ("What? It has to be full of violence and toxic masculinity to be good? It’s a good movie Percy, shut-up.") Before he knows it, it’s 3:54 am shaking with hysterical silent laugher at Annabeth's impression of Dionysus.

“Oh my gods oh-OH! Do you know what we’ve got to do?”

“Uh-oh, what?”

She grins impishly and a little deliriously. “We’ve gotta go to our spot.”

“Ah, of course. Yes, our spot, totally.” He says in a voice he hopes is neutral, in an effort to gage if she’s serious.

“Oh my gods.” She gasps, offended.

“What.”

“I can’t believe this.”

“You can’t believe what?”

“You forgot our spot.”

“I’m sorry Annabeth, until four seconds ago I wasn’t aware we had a spot.”

“Oh my gods. I can not believe this-” He can tell she’s messing with him, and not actually mad.

“Annabeth, just tell me where it is.”

“I simply can not believe this, you absolute heathen-”

“Stop calling me a heathen, and tell me where it is.”

She smiles, “I can show you.”

...

“Oh, of course! This is our spot!”

Annabeth chuckles, “I told you.” They’re standing at the edge of the forest at the tallest of the rock clusters to the far left. It's the one they used to go to after their first quest, the place where Annabeth taught him the constellations. The place where he made his first real friend. Not people he hung out with to avoid getting picked on. Not a searcher who happened to like the demigod he found. His first real best-friend.

They climbed up easily and lay down looking straight up at the sky. Annabeth points up at the floating memorials, and Percy dutifully recites the legends of how they earned their place in the sky. They're shoulder to shoulder and their fingers graze each other for longer than necessary. And slowly they lull into comfortable silence, arms overlapping, at some point Annabeth's head lands on his shoulder. Percy freezes for a while, staying absolutely still as if she’s a wild creature who could bolt at any moment. But then he relaxes, and she relaxes and he’s pretty sure she’s asleep until she takes in a shaky breath and whispers, “Hey, Percy?”

“Yeah?”

“We’re gonna be okay right?” He can tell she's trying to mask the vulnerability in her voice. And he can’t see all of her face from the angle they’re laying, but her nose is on his collarbone, and her hair is tickling his chin.

He closes his eyes, and he thinks. He thinks about Luke and Rachel and how nothings been the same since Percy blew up that mountain.

He thinks about seeing her for the first time, grey eyes wide hair falling off her shoulders and how even after everything he just went through, he felt safe. He thinks about ‘you drool when you sleep’, and the way she looked at him when he was claimed- awestruck and pitiful at the same time. He thinks about rolled eyes, stamped feet, and frustration always just under the surface. He thinks about silent truces, and letting guards down, and shared oreos in the back of a mobile zoo. He thinks about sweaty palms gripping each other in the Underworld, and shaky hands giving him a good luck camp necklace. He thinks about camp fires, stupid jokes, learning about the stars, and how the just fit.

He thinks about postcards and iris-messages, and how she punched Matt Sloane square on the nose. He thinks about how despite the arguing and the confusion about Tyson, she was always there when she needed him. How she didn’t hesitate to sneak out of camp with one of the first species he ever learned to truly fear, because he asked her to. He thinks about her in a dress and how tongue-tied him in guinea pig form. He thinks about her broken sobs and how she clutched at him in their underwater bubble. He thinks about winning a chariot race, the softest of cheek kisses and how in this world of gods and monsters, she’s the only thing he was really sure about.

He thinks about how she was the first girl he ever danced with, and how light everything felt when she was around. He thinks about how it felt strangely familiar when she fell off that cliff, and how only days later realized that it was the same desperation he had when Hades took his mother. He thinks about how gutted it was when he found out she was thinking about joining the Hunters. He thinks about his visit from Aphrodite and how even though she changed form, her hair smelled like lemons the entire time. He thinks about when he saw her on that cliff it was like the sun came out. How he saw her face and it was smudged with dirt and cuts but she was alive and he could breathe again. He thinks about how his throat closed up when he thought Artemis was going to pick her for the Hunt. He remembers how when they danced on Olympus, for a song she was prettier than Aphrodite.

He thinks about planning a movie date, and how he discovered Annabeth doesn’t get any less pretty when she’s mad at him. How she sat right next to him at dinner and how when she fixed his armour, his neck burned wherever she touched him. He thinks about falling in a whole and holding her hand and how they’d done it before but it felt different that time. He thinks about ping pong table meetings and how he became aware of the fact that he’d follow her anywhere. He thinks about the determination in her when she faced the Sphinx, and how the same fire was in them right before she kissed him. He thinks about how she tasted like smoke and salt, and how for the 3.2 seconds that his lips were hers, the first thing he thought was ‘we fit like this too’. He thought he was going to die but it was okay. It was okay that he was going to die, because he had gotten to kiss her. He thinks about Calypso’s Island, and how he dreamt about her every night. How when he crashed his funeral, she held like she couldn’t bear to let go and how that was fine with him. He thinks about the blur that was the labyrinth, full of unshed tears, words that cut, and how despite all the scream fights and the terror, and the barely contained rage, none of it lessened the fierce protectiveness he feels for her. How despite it all, she's still the best thing that's ever fucking happened to him. He thinks about the last line of her prophecy, and how she thought it was about him.

He loves her.

He’s not sure if he’s in love with her because he’s 15 and he hasn’t exactly had time to date around but he knows that for a fact. Knowing Annabeth, loving Annabeth has made him who he is. She is burned into his DNA. Somehow the 12 year old with princess curls and eyes that cut, crawled under his skin. He knows he’s done the same to her, even though they’re both too stubborn to say it out loud. They could never really leave each other, even if they tried.

So Percy shifts so he can see her face in the pale moonlight, brushes a curl out of her face and says,

“Yeah. It’s us Annabeth. We’re gonna be alright.”

She smiles soft and real because she knows him, so she knows he means it. He’s not sure who reaches out this time, but they're holding hands and staring at the sky in a silence that speaks volumes.

They stay like that until it’s sunrise and they have to sneak into their respective cabins. Looking at stars, fighting sleep, and forgetting about the rest of the world.

______________

(They hold hands all the way back to her cabin.)

(He doesn’t stop smiling the whole way back to his own.)

______________

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#IM LITERALLY SO SORRY #my writing #percabeth #percy jackson #annabeth chase #percabeth fic #fic rec #rbs are appreciated!#mari tag #prompts

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