flanneryculp

[flanneryculp]

I want you all to imagine with me, if you will, what I witnessed today.

McDonalds parking lot. teenage boy. giant polished white ford Tundra. windows down. blasting. I mean BLASTING. Beethoven's moonlight sonata. boy demolishing burger.

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Just had to set a firm boundary with the floating demon skull :/

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had a dream that pathologic 3 came out but every time you opened it you had to deposit a little bit of blood into your computer or it wouldn't run. anyone who asked how to avoid this was told they were ruining the experience

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your job is not more important than media from 2005. never forget this.

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the shame of making a connection irl and them being like omg can i have your insta??? snapchat????? and having to be like sorry i live in a gap between two tree roots youre just going to have to normal text me like some kind of animal

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Do people actually like quote books, movies, and TV shows in casual conversation because I refuse to believe that that's true. I legit cannot remember a single quote from anything that I have ever watched or read and you're telling me that people can quote full on paragraphs from their favourite book and it's not just a movie trope to show that they're a nerd.

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Ready for those flashing lights

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FIRST step to enjoying any media is getting attached to the character whose suicidal tendencies are the most obvious

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It is always interesting to me when someone tells me a story that they think is not about themselves, when of course it almost always is.

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if you're in my notifications on a regular basis but we have never spoken...I want you to know that I know your username and think fondly of you

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me: We'll approach from the east, where their defenses are weakest

the commander: We should send a dozen men to the west side first, trick them into dividing their forces

the fell dragon that lives inside my head: (This is stupid. Let's just reduce the world to ash.)

me, out loud: We're not reducing the world to ash

commander: Okay.

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A bread is one of the most vulnerable animals on earth of all time. It can die in a number of different ways, which include being smashed, being old, being rottened, being crumpled up, getting too hot, having water put on it, and having water not on it but being in the air a lot (the water (mist)). The bread’s favorite way to die is being eaten, but the world is a complicated place, and it does not care for what the bread wants, and so it dies in a variety of ways which are not the preference of the bread.

Humans are considered the bread’s natural predator, and also, are the bread’s mommy (make/give birth to the bread). Humans are a large species of ant or plant or ele phant with two grasping appendages which they use to give birth to the bread. They also have one hole which eats the bread, and some other holes, which the bread is not allowed near, generally.

Some bread can go in the fridge. Some bread has fruit in it. Scientists don’t know why, as putting fruit in the bread is considered yucky, and scientists have difficulty imagining an organism that likes yucky things.

There is the anteater, which is an organism that likes yucky things, but scientists do not need to imagine it, because it is real.

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Give a man a leaf and he will eat it. Teach a man to leaf and he will go away

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