#i dont have my computer with me rn :(
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Nick and Tao's dynamics can be summed up by that "this is our get along shirt" meme
#jake.txt#quick someone edit that meme with thwm#*them#i dont have my computer with me rn#nick nelson#tao xu#heartstopper
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3, 4 and 7 for the wip asks? 👀
Rio!!! Thanks!
🌍What tags or warnings will your / one of your wip(s) need if you intend to share it?
Angst, questioning religion, slight NSFW, making out
🧭An alternative title to your/ one of your WIP(s)?
Emotional damage done a long time ago makes it difficult to now be happy 😊😊😊
🖍Post Any sentence from your wip
"He was just making tea." 😉
#ask games#i dont have my computer with me rn#so i can't check the other sentences but this one is a part of my favourite moment~~~#eryka speaks#rio the father
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babies are asleep, shhhh
#AAAAAAAA its finally done. lol#this literally gave me a headache :u#ive been staring at the computer way too long. lol#but it was worth it :3#i havent thought of luis and leon in months :y#i want to do more stuff with them but i dont have any ideas rn :/ im just finishing the wips i made in my RE4 era#ill have to watch the playthrough again to get in the mood xu#re#resident evil#leon s kennedy#re4#resident evil 4#luis serra#art#sai#fanart#if u r wondering how can i post so much is because im a neet basically lol
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happy valentine's day i guess but you caught me at a bit of a bad time :(
[it/he]
#✎🐂#had better ideas for pics but i dont have the space or time rn. lame. caching into my memory#look. no bf? no gf? no suitors of any sort? im going to fuck a computer. that's all i have#anyways#trans nsft#trans ns/fw#ftm ns/fw#ftm nsft#ftm top#ftm dom#objectum nsft#objectophilia#computer fucker#object sexuality#taking freaky object pics with like. what is basically one of my object partners feels a little like cheating. but im sure shes chill w it#these took SO LONG TO TAKE. i have to reformat her card bc its just like 40 of these now.#pray for me please i do need it#ivy DONT look this is crazy
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Heh. Whatever. Go shitty Mind doodle
#I drew this with a mouse#on krita#on my new computer I got for christmas#love it besides the fact I have to figure a bunch of shit out since 4 years worth of stuff is now Not On My Computer#I also drew this in the middle of the night having an existential crisis and blasting styxvii at full volume#styxvii is very Heart core tbh and sometimes Mind and Soul too cause Im crazy#Ill stop okay time for the real tags#art#doodles#chonny jash#cccc#cj mind#my Mind design is going through a Phase™ rn please stand by#dont even get me started on Heart and Soul.....
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#my style exploding when i have to stylize unstylized people#it didnt work#gordon freeman#ive never played the games before and i just started half life 2 cuz it was free#i know my dad has played at least half life. i know cuz he wanted to play with me but i wanted to play with barbies. i was a baby#so i was like ooooh my dad is gonna be stoked if i secretly download half life 2 on his computer#i check to see and he has all the achievements on steam. oh.#so then i roped my brother into it. hes really excited because--get this-- none of his friends know this game so he can flex#hes gonna flex hes more cultured than them#same mf that came up to me like oh my friend is reading this super old manga. you wouldnt know about it. its called berserk.#anyways so i offer ye a shitty sketch#rn im on 'we dont go to ravenholm' and im so confused wasnt dog supposed to come with us?#edit WHAT WHY AM I STILL IN RAVENHOLM???? THE PRIEST LET ME OUT AND THERES STILL ZOMBIES????#LET ME GO!!! LET ME OUT
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Wverytime I sit down at a computer to make music I get so scared
#i like siting down with a guitar and writing music but the daw is still so scary to me and i dont know how to make it less scary#its like i dont know where to start#i understand music theory i can write chord progressions i can write melodies but arranging feels so daunting#like just trying to pick keyboard voices and stuff im like overwhelmed and then its like i just dont even know where to start#i think i need to do more covers to practice arranging because trying to do it with my own songs im just like i have NO IDEA#i do think that trying to recreate arrangements of other songs I like will help me but also just idk#i really want to get better at writing at the piano but i find it really hard#rn i write almost all my songs on the guitar then i guess what i have to do is try to think of like what style i want it to have#and sort of try to create a map like probably literally on paper and then try to go in and sort of do it but god its so hard i dont know#it feels so so daunting#even trying to make silly little stuff with just like some synths is really hard for me right now its so out of my comfort zone and AUGH id#its frustrating im scared of the computer but i also very much do not want to be an acoustic singer songwriter but thats all i can do#because all i can do is play fucking guitar!!!! and its just so frustrating#technically im like with a midi controller i should be able to do whatever program drums write little synth lines etc i dont have to like#know how to play piano and yet whenever i try to do it i just get so overwhelmed and freaked out with how many possibilities there are#that i just . cannnnnt#AHGHHHHHHHHHHHH im so im in such a bad mood right ow#ive had such a horrible night honestly#i think i will just go engage in fixation for comfort and then go to bed sigh#i dont know what to do to improve at making music in the daw i guess ill just maybe try again this weekend to take another crack at it#god its just so frustrating that i only started writing songs 2 years ago and have only learned to use a daw in the last 3 months i WISH#that i was one of these teenagers who spent all my time writing silly songs and playing around with a midi controller but i just didnt#because i was scared!!!!!!!#playing the guitar and singing has always been like the only thing that felt safe cos i felt if i tried to actually write and arrange songs#by myself i would fail so now i just feel so frustrated because i dont feel like a real musician and i feel like im starting too late#AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH whatever sorry for using the tags of this post as my diary but#i am frustrated!!!!
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i do wish i was better at communicating with people online and through technology. i wander into conversations and make new ones all the time irl with random people and its fun but im like hyping myself to type out a single response to a Post. and to say nothing of how difficult it is to get me to say something in a discord server
#or even video or audio calls are becoming hard for me rn. i used to be better at this#i used to be sooo good at talking to people online. maybe. or maybe not actually#now that i think about it ive always been a little outside of everything in both irl and online communities ive been in#you know i was part of the mods for a deviantart species a long time ago. i was pretty bad at my job i was always too slow to actually mod#and one day i came home from school and like the entire modbase imploded because of drama on a discord or smth they had that i wasnt in LOL#tbh i was a bit older than all of them and busy with final year of highschool stuff so i wasnt super present. i think they just had me on#because while i wasnt particularly popular as an artist i did have some eyecatching polish on my art. but it was wild i was like#whats going on. who are you people. where am i. i have to apply to ouac rn i dont know whats happening#wait random ass deviantart drama i was vaguely adjacent to but still dont really know what happened aside. i would like to chat more#i think the easiest way to converse with me is commenting on my posts like theyre forum threads. or dming me. sometimes#im so bad with group chats. especially if they have multiple channels. the only group chat ive stuck with is a tiny one with like#two other friends and we just write thoughts and about our day and pictures of animals and whatever#i get confused and scared in discords. i get so confused and scared#i used to be okay with discord calls but even with that ive been struggling. am i scared of the computer#am i scared of the computer. the machine. whats happening
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missed the bus for a few minutes bc i was busy taking my meds and getting food (lame) now i have to wait another hour fuck my stupid baka life
#text#i might juwt stay in the study lounge i really dont feel like walking more than i have to#but also i want to#*want to download brat and the remixes on my ipod and i cant do that rn cuz i sont have my computer with me#le sigh… we cringe on
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Idk what else to say except for like, sorry for being a shitty rp partner and promising to do threads but getting so overwhelmed by other things going on that I never actually get very far and you're left with a sour taste in your mouth that I'm an unreliable rp partner and---
#i have genuinely#so much shit going on rn#i cant even bring myself to open my computer so#i hope#HOPE AND PRAY#that like#yall dont hate me :")#anyway heres my leafimar icon to make up for it
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lil thing i drew while im sick in bed lol. hc that normal is MISERABLY needy when hes sick
#drawn on paper bc i dont have the energy to use my computer rn. plus itd make my head hurt#'why are u on ur phone rn then' leave me alone. take the oakworthy#oakworthy#normal oak#hermie the unworthy#hermie unworthy#oakworthy fanart#dungeons and daddies#dndads#dndads fanart#my art
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unnormal vivilly dweller thoughts in my head
#“I'm right next to you” are we about to kiss. are you trying to kiss me right neow#i hate the chase sequence part (corny and unoriginal) but everything else is so perfect#hEeEeLP MEeEeEE#i fuckign love vivilly anyway but i think the vivilly dweller is what Really did it fr me#SERIOUSLY THOUGJ WHAT THE FUCK#i would make a palpers dweller but i dont think my computer can with how shit it is rn#like i definitely will at some point (unless someone beats me to it) but i just can't rn 😭#i csnt wait for august viv face reveal guys!!!! YAY!!!! idc what he looks like he will always be so splinkoid#plus whatever characteristics he has i can kinda just add on to my design to him behind his mask#i color his skin as dark grey just for his mc skin but seeing his snapchat n stuff makes me wanna show him off as rhe eyeblinding man he is#or not! who knows . i have a tendency to do whatever#okay speakijg of his face reveal#i have something i want to explain to the wall#a part of me is hoping he isnt generic conventionally attractive guy 38495839488#the rest of me is neutral because idrc#the reason why is most likely because i would feel a deeper connection to him if we shared similar facial features#it's a good reason i think? but still weird to have because i shouldnt really care what he looks like at all#idk what to expect really but i guess i should be open minded abt it#I JUST. a lot of how i perceive him is through his mc character#that played a big part in how i grew to like him so much#but he ISN'T emo hoodie minecraft shyguy!!!#however i can still enjoy the 'persona' he has online. chill sarcastic insane funny blocky shyguy who does a little (A LOT OF) trolling#anyway back to what i was saying#hope bro isn't majestic as fuck irl#IF IT'S ANYTHING LIKE DREAM I'M GOING TO CRY#DREAM IS MAJESTIC AS FUCK I CANT EVEN WITH THAT MAN#i will be supportive anyway ofc because 1) i dont care even though i just proved that i do 2) i can separate persona from irl person 3)...U#IM SO NORMAL#also we're not goijg toctalkcabou t the dream thing. if youre my irl yoy didnt aee this (PLEASE DONT UNFRIEND ME OELASE#DONT LEAVE JUST FORGER Iなはoops didnt mean to type thatSAID THAT OKAY
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HI! MACKERELMORE! question for u. since u are like.literally the danny phantom guy of all time 2 me ur like literally him. do u have any like. specific or important design/appearance thoughts for him. like if hypothetically someone was going to draw him funstyle because theyve been having a really fun awesome time watching dp w their dear friends. what does he Look Like to u!!!! (<- include spoilers if u want i'm not particularly 100% pressed abt it the way i am ab some things!!) <333
oughghh my boy!!! my boy forwvwr!!!!! ros if u draw my boy I WILL be so sososo happy forever. omg. honestlyyyyy I'm not super picky when it comes to danny designs?? there are SO many good ones out there.... I feel like i draw him infrequently enough these days that my own design changes for him a lot even but something I always give him is at LEAST freckles and fangs. one because i give all my favorite character freckles and two it is SO unfair that vlad gets fangs and danny doesn't -_- god. if u give me a minute to track them down I can dredge up my old dp screenshot edits from like 2013.... that's like the first type of digital art I had ever done...... man. oh I like when people change up his suit to make it more tactical i always think that looks neat. like yes it is a hazmat suit but give that boy a utility belt or SOMETHING !!!!!
edit NEVERNIND I FUCKING FOUND THEM. ignore the bad cropping I'm lazy. and dating these images severely with the notification icons. don't look at me I was like 13
also here's my Most Recent art so u can see how I've. progressed . I guess.
not much of a blorbofication beam on him bc I just like his design as is a lot :]
#update my screenshot edits are on my old computer -_- which i do not have with me rn. hell world !!!!#ohhh sometimes ppl give him lichtenberg scars on his hand/up his back/neck from how he died <3#i always think thats fun but ive never drawn it myself before#HAHA I FOUND THEM..NEVERMIND#i dont draw him like that anymore but. origins. lmao#man. hes just cute#i can send u some of my fav danny desigsn if u want... but really hes just fun 2 play around with. i like when ppl give him a mullet.#or like. when ppl give fenton the same hair as his dad. with the black on top white around the back. its cute#basically u cannot go wrong w a good danny#asks#friends!!!#intertexts#dp
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#can eso just...... fucking behave......#server issues aside its always been an ordeal to just *launch* the game and then a second ordeal to *log in*#i think it might be ReShade causing the crashes even tho ive cut out dozens of effects im not even using#reshade certainly hasnt given me any errors#or maybe thats just how eso is now and reshade is innocent#i dont dare play without it bc certain zones look like complete and utter garbage to the point where i need to play in black and white#if i dont i get headaches and eyepain#apocrypha is the worst by far and theres hardly a day i dont regret paying money for it#including the server issues lately im just about at my fucking breaking point#like all i need to do rn is figure out some alternate dyes to help a friend out with dying a costume#i tried last night but the servers were shittinf themselves#i tried for half an hour to log in but was only met with failed log in attempts the whole damn time#like i know that programming and game design in general is difficult#unimaginably so when youre managing a live mmo with millions of players across different servers and platforms#i get that zos doesnt have an easy job#but can they just fucking make eso into a FUNCTIONAL and PLAYABLE game yet?!#if this round of repairing the game doesnt get the game to launch im uninstalling eso and drop kicking my computer out the fucking window#like all i wanna do is play the game i bought and am currently paying for via a sub but fuck me thats just too fucking much to ask for jfc
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I do find it so funny that I will graduate college days away from my birthday. Like my birthday is literally in between the end of the semester ("graduation") and commencement
It really will be like a joint graduation & birthday party for me lmao
#speculation nation#i dont really do birthday parties anymore. havent in a long time. mostly just go out and do smth fun around my bday. ya kno#also have cake but like not in a party way. just like. here's cake lol#but im probably only gonna graduate from college once. which means i might as well live it up and all.#invite all sorts of extended family and people who have known me. etc etc.#actually it just kinda sunk in that i am. Computer and Information Technology (Systems Analysis and Design focus) w a minor in Communication#like those are words. it's a lot of words but actually it really is pretty accurate?? like that's indeed what ive been studying.#now how much i *remember* is another question. considering how long ive taken to get thru school lol#but that's what people will see on my degree. that's my Thing. graduated in Computer Systems and Talking.#idk it's just weird to have spent so much of my life on this and like That's the culmination. it took so much work.#even beyond a normal 4 years. i switched my major *twice*. switched my minor too.#first year engineering to undecided liberal arts (as a temp major trying to switch to computer science bc i couldnt stay in FYE)#but then computer science sucked so i switched to trying to get into computer & info tech. which is different. and better.#and ive been in it long enough now that ive kinda forgotten but it did take some fuckin work to switch into it.#like i had to take certain classes first & i couldnt take them during the semesters that in-major students would take them#and i had to have my gpa up to a certain level etc etc. so many hoops to jump thru. i think it took me at least a year. or more. idr#but i made it in and thats my major. thats my thing. computers and information systems and communication.#doesnt FEEL like im an almost-graduate. but then i think about all the things ive taken and learned.#and maybe i dont remember a lot of the more specific things from these classes. but i took core lessons away from each one.#wont be able to recite the theories but i can live them. and thats the point of an education i guess.#anyways im gonna have to start job searching before too long and eughhbb. need to get my license first tho probably.#which i will... i will.... i have so many things to deal with... my life will be So Different in a year...#it will require me to put in the work now. but i can do it. and then a year from now. i'll hopefully be in a better spot.#living somewhere else. graduated from college. with a license and a car. maybe even an IT job of some kind.#kind of scared of trying to find a Big Boy Job. aka a job that requires a degree and networking and all that shit.#rather than just showing up and being like Hi i can do this job. i am not a total drain of a person. hire me please 👍#hfkahfks so many things to think about. and through it all i am still dealing with DEADLINES...!!!!#but yeah this is why my writing has largely been put on hold. idk i have a lot of things im dealing with rn.
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i miss being hikineet life was less miserable then.
#genuinely less depressing. idk i just dont think im meant to be a person#i cant fucking talk to people without having an autistic sperg out and humiliating myself#i just want to not fail ONCE just fucking once but i cant#whatever. little nurse should be arriving soon.#burando will keep me alive burando is my will to live.#i miss working retail yeah it was shitty and i had fucking meltdowns but not as often as i do in school#plus when i was the only one at the store i could read or crochet or just generally slack off and tell customers to go fuck themselves.#now prof is gonna act like its high school and get mad at me for sleeping in class once like bro cmon im eepy leave me alone#if i fail thats my problem if im wasting money thats my problem mind ur own business.#she went fucking camping over the weekend thats what she was busy with. all i did was see a play and go to the club.#i fucking. did chores and ran errands and shit. did some lame and gay computer shit.#plus im really nauseous rn so like.#im just in a horrible mood and a horrible way and i wish life could be just a little bit easier just a little bit
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