#i dont have anyone i can talk to about how im feeling over this situation so thats why im here

[noihavenosanitythanksforasking]

so this is based on my ramble in the byler discord but im gonna try and compress it into something readable n shit

So in the recent panel with my king Finn Wolfhard, my boy dropped a hint. A very important hint.

"The differences? Mike's a lot more brave than me. I don't think I'd be out there in a different dimension trying to save my friend and be in gunfights and stuff like that. Yeah he's way more brave than I could ever be."

A different dimension??

So Mike is going to the UD in S5. Im very unsurprised and im sure you are as well but lets fuckin talk about it bc holy fuck.

So I know this is the byler community but listen to me when i say, hold my hand and look me in the eyes when i say, I highly doubt that this friend Finn is talking about is Will. ESPECIALLY if byler is canon. Finn is very media trained and you can read legit anything he has ever said about the show and know how good he is about keeping secrets. If this friend was will we wouldn't have mentioned it. It's too close to the danger zone. He would have said something like 'i dont think i'd be out there fighting monsters and risking my life' or something like that. Which is much more vague and can apply to all seasons.

My theory is that this friend is max. CALL ME CRAZY. it could be anyone and I dont have exact reasoning on why its Max other than the fact that shes the only friend actively in danger rn and i adore madwheeler friendship with my heart and soul. But imo its def not Will and its not El.

Now if you go through the main characters there are only (if my memory is correct) 3 characters who havent been to the UD yet.

Lucas, Jonathan and Mike.

Other Characters:

El- Season 1 during the school battle (possibly sooner in the lab idk)

Will- all of s1 duh

dustin- season 4 with eddie

max - season 4 when she was vecna'd

nancy- season 1 in the forest or in s4 with robin and steve to kill vecna

steve- watergate and with nancy and robin

robin - season 4 with nancy and steve

hopper- im p sure hes been more than once but season 1 to find will

joyce- same thing i think shes been more than once but to find will in s1

So Lucas, Jonathan and Mike.

What do these 3 characters all have in common.

They are all a part of one of the main relationships that had issues in season 4. And what are these problems? Lets assess.

Jonathan is stressed because he doesnt want to go to the same school as nancy. He wants to tell her but he knows that she'll give up what she wants to be with him. He doesnt want to hold her back. Nancy feels shut out and afraid that Jonathan doesnt love her anymore. She wants to be together but she doesnt want to put Jonathan in a situation where he has to choose something over something else. They are having issues communicating.

Lucas is stressed about max because he wants to be there for her. Max is shutting him out due to the fact that she feels unworthy of his love or because she is scared of getting hurt and attached to someone. Lucas is hurt because he feels max doesn't trust him. They are having issues communicating.

Mike is stressed about about two people. El and Will. And for this brief moment we're going to look at this in a non byler pov. Mike is stressed about El because he doesn't know what she wants. He wants them to be happy but they aren't and he's not sure how to fix that. He also doesnt ask. Communication issue. Mike is stressed about Will because they aren't talking the way they used too. They dont tell each other anything anymore. They've drifted and Mike doesn't know what's going on anymore. Communication issue.

Interesting.

Thoughout the series the UD has been used as a symbol of all the hard things. Depending on what theories you believe (*cough* lonnie *cough*) this can have more or less meaning but lets assess how going to the UD has affected two of these relationships so far.

Jancy-

Jancy in season one was very tense. they were not friends for a good part of the season. They had constant issues with each other and fought a lot. Then barb goes missing. Will goes missing. They go to the forest in an attempt to figure it out. And Nancy ends up in the UD. Her going into the UD and making it out alive is the catalyst for her and Jonathan to get past their differences, to see each other for who they are and to put their pride aside enough to work together and appreciate the other as a fellow person.

Lumax-

Lumax had a lot of issues with communication and not being able to understand each other in the beginning of s4. They couldn't see eye to eye no matter what lucas did and max was very shut out. Then Max get's vecna'd and comes back. And then lumax finds the strength to communicate for the first time in the season, to see where the other is coming from and allow the other to be there for them.

So what does this mean for Mike. Well, both nancy and max had something that they we're struggling to overcome. A fear that they couldn't escape. Nancy's was barb and Max's was billy. Jonathan and lucas both have something they are afraid to express. Jonathan's is that he wants something diff than nancy and Lucas is that he wants to be there for her but doesnt want to intrude. All of these characters were pushed to solving these issues because of the Upside down (well jancy's recent issue hasn't been solved yet but ykwim).

Mike is going to go to the UD. Which is going to push him into a state of giving in on holding back his feelings. He's going to have to overcome something

El wants to be together, to be happy.

Will is afraid of his feelings, afraid of letting himself want what he wants and being hurt. He feels unworthy of love.

And Mike doesnt want what El wants. Mike loves Will but he is afraid of intruding.

So anyways thats why mike going to the UD means internalized homophobia thanks for coming to my ted talk i'd love to hear yalls ideas :D

[soap-is-an-artist]

Hooray... it's 7 in the morning and I stayed up all night listening to the imperium... I feel so happy and satisfied with my life choices...

I am feeling very much not cowabunga, dude

[SEVERE rambling in tags]

[conartisthaiji]

yeah for the most part im done looking into new ggs

[snekdood]

i really dont think i actually deserved all that bullshit. the internets traumatized me now at this point and literally no ones gonna care unless my abuser is honest and its so fucking exhausting.

[icewindandboringhorror]

Other Misc. Rambling Thoughts on the topic:

(~ !!!!!!!!! if you're just reblogging this post for the Poll section, please reblog the original post without this addition* lol. ~)

(*not that there's anything super personal or weird about the addition, just that it's meant to be kind of casual Side Commentary, not really part of the Main Point Of The Poll, so it would feel kind of weird for it to be emphasized by being included in reblogs unless the reblogs were explicitly about the side commentary, etc..... if that makes sense.. ANYWAY!)

It's neat to read the written descriptions that people are mentioning in the tags, since it's almost like I can see or conceptualize the idea as well, but it's just.. I'm not SEEING it.

Like for example: I can imagine a vase, it's a muted mint green and slightly translucent, elaborate golden birds sprawled down the side in streaks of thin rough watery paint, the base material shimmers gently in the light, there's a small chip where it's cracked on the handle, etc, etc. .. But as I'm thinking about this I see literally nothing.

It seems like perhaps some people can visualize an object first, and THEN describe what they see. But I sort of work backwards. I am building the object in my mind, I can never see it, but it's a collection of concepts. Rather than visualizing all details as a whole at once, I am adding each detail one by one, building onto the IDEA of the thing.

The vase doesn't have a crack on the handle because I just automatically visualized a vase with a crack. It was more that I cognitively understand the concept of a vase, what they tend to be made out of, how they tend to look and feel, the properties they have. So based purely on that knowledge, I can imagine "a chip is something that a vase could have, it would look this way and behave this way" - more like... I'm constructing a bullet point Fact List about the object rather than seeing it.

So if you tell me to imagine an object, I can, in a way, imagine that object in great detail, but it's just.. I'm not SEEING those details, more just knowing it's qualities in a purely conceptual way. Sometimes in the tags when people are like "yeah I can see the skin of the apple, texture, little dots on the surface" it's like… I can imagine that too, I can know it's there, but just with no visual attached.

I guess rather than SEEING something and going ''ah. I know what this looks like because I have seen it''. I more just skip that visual step entirely and go ''I know what this looks like, I just randomly have a list of information about the concept in my mind.'' etc. Maybe similar to how sometimes in dreams, even though a house may look completely different and be in an entirely fake 'dreamlike' environment, you just somehow KNOW intuitively that it's meant to be your childhood home or something. Even when it looks nothing like it in reality. There's a built-in base knowledge of the properties or information of some things within a dreaming mind, etc.

--

This also makes me wonder about like.. how storytelling and myth is so important to cultures all across time. Or how this could tie also into concepts of religion.. etc. etc. If so many people really can kind of conjure these vivid images in their mind, then maybe that's part of why certain things are so meaningful to them? Like a "religious experience" being something you can actually really SEE/feel/lingering with you in your head, rather than just abstract words on a page, detached purely theoretical ideas, etc... hmmm

.

Plus also just for average emotional stuff too, even outside of broader cultural conceptual attachments..

Like, I don't think there's a direct 1 to 1 link (obviously not all people with mental illnesses that significantly reduce their emotional or expressive capacity also MUST have aphantasia or vice versa), but it's interesting as someone who DOES also have a much more lessened emotional range/pretty flat affect/etc. etc. to think like.. Maybe I WOULD be more emotional, in a way, if I could have these vivid experiences..?

Perhaps memories would hold deeper significance if they could really stay with me vividly. Or storytelling would evoke more of a deep emotional reaction to me if I could really picture and feel the things that are going on. If things were more TANGIBLE in my brain, rather than always merely conceptual highly abstracted ideas.

Kind of like, it's probably easier to get over the death of a pet or something, if after not seeing them for an hour you already don't remember what they looked like (beyond just a vague fact list of traits), and you have no vivid memories or mental reminders of them (beyond just factual information stores). COGNTIVIELY you can appreciate the idea of their absence, of course, you still miss them, but there's just no remaining visceral sensory ties. A very "out of sight, out of mind" sort of thing in terms of attachments, memories, emotions, etc. Maybe certain things are easier to "get over", when you're not having constant mental sensory reminders that occasionally rekindle your feelings about the event or etc.??

(like for example, maybe someone could remain angry about an argument longer if they could vividly replay it in their head over and over again. VS just like.. 'Yes I can factually recall the fact I had an argument, and I do have knowledge stored about what precisely was said, but any sort of sensory data such as sights/smells/feelings, etc. from the actual moment of the event are long gone and can never be conjured again in my mind." etc.)

Which again, I think lessened emotional permanence and image permanence in the mind are NOT inherently linked, can all be caused by different things for different people. And, since I can't visualize anything in my head, maybe I'm misunderstanding how it happens and the effect it may have on stuff like remembering things you miss or replaying arguments, etc. etc. But it's still a little interesting to think about, if they could influence each other to some degree.... :0c --

Lastly, It's also weird because I'm actually pretty good at estimating distance and spaces? I can quickly assemble furniture without an instruction manual, pretty easily have a concept of how much space a chair may take up in a room, how two mechanical parts might fit together - BUT, I am literally not actually visualizing anything. I cannot see 3D objects in my mind at ALL. It's like.. just based on the pure List Of Facts About Things Which I Have Observed.. I can intuitively go "oh this works like this/this is this size" just because.. I know it's that size. I don't have to see anything to know..?

But then on the other hand, I'm terrible at directions without a map (I guess because a 3d outdoor environment has WAY more complexity than like.. "Will this square fit into another square?"etc. lol ).

BUT, I also draw/sculpt/etc. entirely without references, and seem to do mostly okay at that..? Like.. I can't even remember the last time I actually used a reference or looked at anything whilst drawing. It's all muscle memory, and me just adjusting as I go until something "looks right" on paper, I never have a set image in my head (or external reference) before hand.. Hrmm....

AND.. I used to say that I had a photographic memory when I was younger, which I know NOW is not true (I always thought it was just an expression, not that people could literally see things in a photographic way). But what I was describing is, I do often associate information with imagery, just... without imagery....

Like "Oh, I know that I took my medicine earlier today because I have a distinct memory, a snapshot of a moment in time, of me rattling the pill bottle in my hands as I looked up at a stop sign while in the back seat of a car". When I say this, I can't ACTUALLY see/feel/hear a pill bottle, or vividly picture a stop sign, but it's more just a factual recall, of. Even though I don't see these things, I know they happened, the information of them happening (me hearing a sound and also looking at a stop sign at the same time) has been stored in my brain as a memory, a collection of linked facts. --

As for other senses, I cannot taste or feel anything in my head AT ALL.. wild that some people mention that. I mean, again, I can have a purely factual recall as if reading a textbook, knowing the information of 'X item typically has X texture, therefore I can imagine what it may be like to feel it' or 'X usually has this taste' etc. - but I can never actually experience those senses in any capacity in my mind alone. I would say audio is my strongest mental sense (maybe a 2.5 or 3 (if it were translated onto the above scale where 1 is most vivid and 5 is nothing)), then visual (4.5 at most, usually 5), and then taste and smell and such are just complete 5, absolutely nothing, I didn't even know people could experience taste or feeling just in their mind alone.. lol...

I know this is just a silly bad quality random screencap of a screencap that I found on facebook lol, BUT it's a succinct enough image to easily describe the concept in a quick/accessible way hopefully :

-

(and of course, feel free to elaborate in tags, etc.! (especially elaborating about other senses as well.. can you "hear" in your mind just as well as you can "see"? taste? etc.) It's an interesting topic to me, as someone who's like a 4.5 at MOST lol. I'm curious what option will be the most common :0c )

[everybodysaycbx]

.

[riceccakes]

i think i'll always be the friend/person who cares more than others. i shouldn't have assumed the people in my life would do the things i'd do for them. i even miss these people so much and whenever i try to make plans, it falls through last minute or never gets set in the first place

[januaryrabbit]

Request: how svt would deal with their crush being in a relationship already (their crush is their bff)

hello! thank you for requesting, im sorry its so late!! :) this scenario is kinda angsty so i hope you dont mind!!

seventeen when their crush (who happens to be their best friend) is in a relationship!!!

pairing: svt x gn!reader

word count: 2.3k

warnings: angst, Simping, Yearning

other disclaimers/notes: lowercase intended; barely proofread because it's 4am!!!, i’ve been watching wayyyyy too many coming of age films lately lmao!!!

✩‧₊˚Cope (trying to be normal)

vernon: vernon rolls with the punches in most any circumstance, and this is no exception. like Yeah….this shit sucks….but you guys are best friends, so he has to deal with it. i don’t think this would affect him too much tbh,,,like i think the fact that he’s in love with you is something he rarely even admits to himself. i feel like he always has it in the back of his mind, but nothing more than that. i think he’d be able to ignore his feelings the most successfully out of all the members because vernon’s realistic with himself and he knows there’s no point in being hurt over something that’s out of his control. none of this stops him from loving you, but that’s something for him to know and you to never find out lol. seungkwan knows about vernon’s feelings btw. he (vernon) figures that if he had to tell anyone…it would be him, and for whatever reason, he felt compelled to tell at least one person about all of this. vernon doesn’t know why, but it feels better knowing that someone knows his true feelings, even if that someone isn’t, and probably can never be, you.

s.coups: you know that face he makes after the girl rejects him in mansae??? Yeah. Yeah that’s him at all times lmao. he cant say hes mad at anyone in this situation, except maybe the universe lmao. i think he just regards this whole situation has his life’s hugest bruh moment LOL. he’s gotten okay at pretending like everything’s fine when he’s around you, because in his mind, there’s nothing else he can do. there was no way he was going to end his friendship with you, but there was also no way he could confess his feelings to you. in private, he’s talked to some of the boys about it in private - mostly jeonghan and joshua, but sometimes when he’s feeling particularly frustrated with the situation, he goes to woozi, who is able to ground him every time he feels like he can’t take it anymore. seungcheol knows that to others, being friends with you while still being in love with you doesn’t make the slightest bit of sense; but if it meant you were still in his life to some capacity, that was all that mattered to him.

joshua: the definition of smiling thru the pain…like he’s literally katy perry They ask you how you sre and you just have to say that youre fine even though youre not fine like. i think more than anything, he’s not too torn up over this situation than he is irritated. the mention of your partner makes his eye twitch LMFAO. like when you come back from going on a trip with them, you start telling joshua about everything you did together and he’s like THAT’S SO COOL Y/N . I’M SO GLAD YOU GUYS HAD FUN. *eye twitch* LOL. tries his best not to go overboard with it or make it obvious that he’s being sarcastic - he’s aware enough to know that your happiness is important and that unless there’s a legit reason one day, he doesnt have any grounds for disliking your s/o too LOL. i think he’s probably overly cautious if you ever tell him that you and your s/o were having problems as well. like he would be try really hard to be neutral if you ever asked him for his opinion on a situation that happened between you and your partner. i think he would feel guilty about being your confidant while having these feelings for you,,as much as he wants to tell you to break up with them and be with him instead, he knows how terribly selfish of him it would be to put you in that situation. so, he endures it everyday.

dk: dude……HE IS ALSO SMILING THROUGH THE PAIN…..but like HES ALSO CRYING….SO BAD….like. he tries REALLY hard to keep everything lighthearted around you - any time the conversation gets even close to being serious, he always pivots to a different topic. some of the other boys can tell something’s the matter when he’s around you, but they can’t quite place what’s different about him. when he’s around you, he just seems ever-so-slightly…off. his smile is less bright, his jokes are a little less frequent, and he’s actually kind of quiet when people are around you two. it’s a weird sight to see, and dk knows this; he knows that others have noticed, but he’s trying as hard as he can to behave as naturally as he can around you. i think he’s one of the members that would be pretty broken up about the situation, similar to mingyu. i don;t see him being able to deal with something like this well. i think he definitely goes to the other boys for comfort about this, to the point where his feelings for you are kind of an open secret amongst them lmao. (except dino because seungkwan begged everyone not to tell him because he thinks dino would make it obvious that dk likes you so they leave him in the dark!!!) 

seungkwan: bruh seungkwan tries so hard to be normal around you but then he’ll text vernon “im third wheeling y/n again please kill me” in the same breath. sometimes when he’s falling asleep at night he’s just like god how did i end UP in this situation!!!!!  he’s more of the kind of person who’s pouty about it instead of sad about it. he just finds the situation annoying more than anything, and he wishes that you would just REALIZE HE’S IN LOVE WITH YOU ALREADY!! but he’s alright with waiting it out. i think he’s one of the members who would be not very fond of your partner LMAO. every time they greet seungkwan he’s just like “oh hey -___- how are you -___-” and your partner is like babe how do i get seungkwan to like me and you’re like HAHA he’s just like that, he needs to warm up to you!! (seungkwan knows this is not the case with this specific person.) but yeah, i think seungkwan also holds out hope that one day the two of you will end up together. i don’t think he would go as far as to ruin your relationship or influence you to break up with your partner, but i think he would definitely confess if you ever became single again LOL. i think it would be a teary confession too, because he’s been bottling up all these feelings for a while.

✩‧₊˚depression.

chan: oh my lee chan…i think he would fucking die in this situation!!! it would just, Destroy him. and you could tell there was something seriously wrong…he just wasn’t his usual excited self anymore, and he was suddenly beginning to avoid you out of nowhere. dino doesn’t want to do this; he doesn't want to be anywhere but by your side, but that place isn’t for him anymore and he knows that all too well. i think he would be one of the only people who would actually confess his feelings at some point, regardless if you were in a relationship or not. i think one day he would reach his breaking point and ust blurt it out because he just can’t take it anymore. i think part of him, although he feels guilty for it, knows that telling you about it is the first step he needs to take for him personally to move on. the only thing that hurts him more than not being able to be your person is keeping a secret this huge from you.

jun: dude this is the cat version of a kicked puppy. like. jun is NOT ok…..and he’s not very good at hiding it i think. i think you’d be able to tell that something was wrong, but jun is terrified about talking about this with you, so you never really find out what’s bothering him. i dont think he’s one who would ever end up telling you about his feelings. in fact, he might be one of the only ones who lets your friendship naturally drift apart because of his feelings for you. it’s not that he doesnt want to be in your life, but he also wants to get over you more than anything. but i think it would be incredibly difficult for him to see you as just a friend tbh, so for as long as you’re dating your partner, i think he’d keep his distance sadly.

hoshi: the light in this man’s eyes have unironically left. like. the thought of hoshi being sad over you……..I CAN’T BEAR IT!!! yeah i think he would take this all pretty hard. though unlike jun, i don;t think hoshi would be able to stay away from you and keep his distance. you’re too precious of a person in his life, and not to say that you aren’t in other scenarios with other members, but i just see hoshi being firm about still being in your life. in fact, he’s one of the few guys that i think is secretly hopeful that one day down the road you’ll end up together. he doesn’t ever voice these feelings to anyone; he knows it’s ridiculous to feel this way about someone who’s already taken, and he feels that if he voices it to someone that he’s going to get bad karma, LMAO. should you ever become single again though is a different story though….

mingyu: for some reason have this vibe that being in this situation would literally destroy him and eat him alive…i just feel like he’s someone who truly loves really, really hard, and adding in the fact that you’re his best friend magnifies the pain by hundreds. what do you fucking do when the person you love most in this world doesn’t return your feelings? he would be really torn up about this because on one hand, he’s never felt this way about someone before, and he wants nothing more than to be with you; but what he wants more than that is for you to be happy, and if that isn’t with him, he has to accept that. sadly, i feel like at some point this would be too much for him,,,like to the point where he keeps his distance from you a bit. he feels awful, but it’s just too hard for him to hear about you and your partner and act like nothing’s wrong when you’re around :(

✩‧₊˚avoidant

woozi: i feel like he might be a little hot and cold about it. he is Not happy in this situation, and it frustrates him that he cant really do anything about it except deal. he doesn't really like talking about your s/o and he tries his best to hide it, but you can kinda tell that there's something wrong. but when you ask him about it, he says he's totally fine! i don't think woozi would dare to ever let his feelings for you come to light, and as unhappy as it makes him to not be honest with you, he just doesn't feel comfortable with telling someone he has feelings for them when said person is in a relationship. as little of a fan he is of your s/o, woozi knows that if he was in their shoes, he wouldn't be happy if someone confessed to you while the two of you were dating. i think he would need some distance to get over you, and i think the only way that it would happen is by throwing himself into his work and begrudgingly spending a LOT of his time with hoshi LMAO!!

minghao: would distance himself by making a bunch of life changes to keep him busy so he can eventually get over you. minghao values you too much, so he figures the best solution is to take time to himself so he can get over you in a healthy way with space from you. he isn’t happy about seeing you less, but he knows that it’s what needs to be done in order for him to heal from this situation. would definitely have a vague excuse ready if you ever asked him why he was distant from you; i cannot see any universe where minghao would ever admit he used to have feelings for you, even if it had been years past. he’s keeping this one in the vault LMAO, not even jun knows!!

wonwoo: bruh…..he’s. he’s in pain. but he’s keeping it all inside. i think he’d feel really selfish for harboring these feelings toward you while you’re dating someone else. your partner was perfectly friendly to wonwoo,,,like it makes him feel WORSE that he’s in love with you. he tries to forget his feelings, even getting into relationships once in a while, but everything always comes back to you. i feel like this is a secret he’s told absolutely NO ONE at all because of how much it weighs on his heart. the only soul who does know to some extent is mingyu, because he caught wonwoo crying one day when he came home early from work. wonwoo didn’t really get into the details, but he did admit that it he had unrequited feelings for someone. mingyu didn’t pry, and he still never has. 

jeonghan: there is Pain behind his eyes lol but he is keeping this secret in the Vault fr. Maybe, M a y b e s.coups MIGHT know, but that’s about it. jeonghan is one of the only people i can imagine is completely normal around you and no one can tell that there’s anything wrong. the only reason that seungcheol knows anything is because he knows jeonghan the best, and he could tell by the way that he hung onto your every word that he had feelings for you. but yeah, i think jeonghan would have the easiest time living with this secret from you. sometimes he does feel a little guilty, and honestly sometimes he does flirt with you lightly, but nothing to arouse any serious suspicion. mostly he’ll just say he likes your outfit or something when you’re hanging out, which is harmless in his mind. it does bother him that the person he’s in love with is dating someone else, but i think jeonghan would just be like “what else can i do at this point??” and continue with his life. not much changes between the two of you, besides jeonghan being a little more quiet when the topic of your relationship or partner comes up, but it’s not something you notice anyway. and such is life, whether jeonghan is truly okay with it or not.

[ender-cloud]

HYDE IS IN THIS UPDATE!!! AND LANYON MY KINGS

Tgs spoilers under cut

Haha, you guys remember that one off comment i made last week

Ha ha ha……. Oh god, I’ll get to that when I get to it. Lets start with more of Jaspers good points and leadership skills first

Jasper makes a great point here.

The Lodgers are the society! They make the magic, the energy, the environment, Jekyll is just the ring leader of it all making sure things don’t get to out of hand, but in the end he had started to have a hard time being able to find that control and keep them in check.

This is why a type of “revolution” like this will do more good then harm in this situation because it will allow Jasper to take Jekylls place of keeping everyone together as the times turn and they need to protect themselves.

But uh… maybe the lodgers might not see this as I do

Ok ok, I get the Lodgers hesitants, Fritz brought to my attention that because Jasper is the newest lodger, despite everything they probably dont have enough trust in him.

Which I definitely get, they are in hard times right now and its hard to trust Jasper, even if they’ve known him for a while they were just betrayed by someone they’ve known for years, how can they trust someone they’ve known for a little over a month (I think)

Also theres a reason why I said that one off comment, not only because it was a trope I see a lot, but because I truly felt like it was a possibility

BUTTTT!! With this it doesn’t necessarily mean that they wont 100% not follow through with what Jasper is saying.

It is clear that they are unsure, yes, but they may need to think it over, and theres got to be a few lodgers who agree with his points.

Some who agree with Jasper that may help the other Lodgers get on board to. If they are truly Reluctant to Jasper leading them because they haven’t known him for long, if some people who they have been living with for years joining up may give them the boost to join.

Jasper made many great points in his speech, and with so many people not everyone could have disagreed with what he said.

I believe this moment of doubt will be just that, a moment, but once other people start agreeing and maybe adding their own points, then it will grow into what Jasper wanted before, the lodgers believing him and letting him lead them in this hard time

It will be the next part of this turning point into someone more confident for Jasper, because while motivating the lodgers with words might be easy, actually forming a plan and leading them through it will be harder, it will also teach him to not give up quickly when things look bad.

Hyde’s just casually acting like he didn’t just have a mental breakdown and immediately just teases Lanyon (I love them so much chat it’s unreal)

ALSO THIS CONFIRMS THAT HYDES MENTAL BREAKDOWN WAS HAPPENING THE SAME TIME AS JASPERS SPEACH!!!

Anyway, back to the actual pannel.

I find it interesting how in Hydes head, he also has a reputation to keep up, its not just Jekyll. The only difference is that hyde has his tough guy, bad boy rep (I hate myself for saying that) He cant let anyone see his weakness, not even Jekyll.

He clearly has mentally trained himself to be able to just change his mood on a switch, but even if he can change how he acts his face has to show some evidence of what happened, i mean we’ve seen him be a little bloody from the glass and Lanyon must have seen that too.

He might be talking about what Hyde looks like when he said he made quite a mess out of himself, not only the glass, which might make Hyde nervous, i feel like he wont be able to keep his facade up for long with how he was acting before.

It’s a little hard delve into the few words they exchanged but im excited for the next update, which may include some blaming of what happened to Jekyll.

(Also more Lanyon and Hyde which I’ll take anyday 🙏🙏)

Happy Holidays Btw!! I hope you have a great Christmas or anything you may celebrate!!

[roseworth]

Can you expand more on the types of the things Dick fans say or do that make you dislike his character?

(context)

the thing about dick grayson is that he is an extremely popular character but the way some people talk about him you would think that hes an unappreciated side character. i think that there are certain fans that need to remember that he has been consistently showing up in comics for 80 years so if hes out of character or left out in one book it shouldnt matter. like im sorry for your loss maybe you can wipe your tears with one of his other 10000 appearances

i feel like any time dick is slightly out of character in a book i see people writing paragraphs about what was wrong with his characterization no matter what the book is. if hes a side character in a book someone will be there to say "um☝️ this is out of character because dick didnt save everyone??? 🤨 why did the main character get the focus instead of dick 🫤" like!!! not everythings about him!!!! and a lot of his fans love that hes an extremely skilled fighter (and im not disagreeing with that!! he definitely is) but because of that they get upset whenever he loses a fight no matter what. even though sometimes to tell a story you need the character to lose sometimes. and i know that a lot of that is because people need to feel the need to defend him after t*m t*ylor wrote him like he was incompetent. but i stg its every time he gets hit someone says "actually this wouldnt happen and this is out of character"

also i feel like people shit on jason and tim fans all the time for stealing traits from female characters and projecting them onto their fav batboy (rightfully so!!) but then i constantlyyyy hear about dick's Eldest Daughter Syndrome and how he represents the female experience or whatever. like i dont have an issue with that on its own, and i think a lot of the people who i see say he has eldest daughter syndrome are people who also talk about women so i dont mind it as much, but there are Other people who basically talk about dick like hes a female character while ignoring the actual women in his stories

speaking of treating him like a female character. im so tired of people saying that the ass jokes are problematic. like dont get me wrong! theyre annoying and unfunny and i dont like them! but some people are convinced that theyre terrible because they objectify him and sexualize him for no reason and etc etc. and the argument i hear over and over is "can you imagine how terrible it would be if they did this to a woman!" like. yeah actually. i dont have to imagine. theyre doing it right now unironically. i think this fictional man will survive if hes drawn with a fat ass sometimes. its not a good thing but there are some people that blow it way out of proportion because "omg why would they do that to him 😨" like i really cannot bring myself to care even a little

plus a lot of his fans will act like hes special in some way in terms of fighting ability or intelligence. and again i do know that he is a great fighter and is very smart!! but hes definitely falling into the same issue that a lot of batman fans have in the sense that they think hes The Greatest To Ever Do It and other characters get put down so dick can be better. so people want to believe that dick can beat anyone in a fight and always wins with prep time. plus there are people that think of him as the perfect character for any situation so there are dick fans going "if dick was there during the utrh confrontation everything wouldve worked out fine 🤗" and "dick actually wouldve killed any character who hurt his friends" and anything like that. because a lot of his fans just want to insist that he is bruce but without all the parts they dont like. toxic nightwing fans are so similar to toxic batman fans but its worse because they dont even think he can have flaws. at least batman fans know he sucks and hates everyone, but nightwing fans say all the great things batman fans say but without any of the issues

anyways. but i think most of the reason that he bothers me has nothing to do with his fans and a lot more to do with dc. just because i really dont care about him. so many comic readers love him so dc will obv appeal to the people that love him. which means that those of us who dont really care about him have to hear about him in every book. like hes just some guy why is he being treated like the most important guy in the world during dark crisis and absolute power. and i have to hear about how hes the heart of the dcu or the glue of the batfamily or whatever else they've said about him. i dont care!!!! at least when its batman being treated like dc's specialest princess all the other characters hate him. since dc thinks that all the readers love him they make it so all the characters love him. and i just dont care about him. im tired of them shaking him in my face and going "its nightwing!!! we all love nightwing!!!! hes the best!!!!!!" i want that twink obliterated

[deripmaver]

was the wagon scene in berserk sexual assault?

i mean whatever lol. im ngl in some ways this feels like making a whole ass meta post about whether or not "casca enjoyed it." like do i even need to take this perspective seriously? yeah, yeah, i know, that's a pretty inflammatory thing to say, and a lot of the people who i've seen say the scene is NOT assault don't deserve to be belittled like that.

i think it's possible, and very interesting, to discuss the nuances of the scene. what was griffith's intention in that moment? why didn't casca bring up what happened to guts when he asked? how does this contradict or supplement what we already know about their characters?

per usual, though, most of the discussion of the scene itself put very little thought into one of the TWO main participants - casca. so let's do that, i guess, and look at the scene on the whole.

CW, i will show one eclipse panel (the kiss) in this meta, but that's is

what happens before?

the scene in the wagon comes immediately after the band of the hawk's encounter with wylad. wylad has thoroughly humiliated griffith in front of the entire band of the hawk, told them that griffith is totally defeated and broken, and tried to rape casca while griffith struggled uselessly, unable to help at all.

the band is regrouping afterward, and the reality of griffith's situation is sinking in to the members of the band. we don't know for sure if griffith can hear this, but the band is even discussing whether it makes sense for casca to permanently become the band's leader. where would that leave griffith? a burden, helpless, unable to even lead his own men.

griffith can, however, overhear casca talking to guts just a moment later. she says guts isn't reliant on griffith's dream, and griffith through the wagon can easily see their closeness.

at this point, casca goes to griffith in the wagon.

so where is griffith? his men, who despite his capture have been sustained by his dream, are losing their faith in him because wylad showed how utterly powerless he is. meanwhile, guts is touching casca in an intimate, close way. he feels like everything is slipping through his fingers, even his particular place of importance for guts. he's lost guts to casca. i would argue this piece, seeing casca intimate with guts, changes his mindset even compared to where he was during the scene with wylad.

where is casca? she's still clinging to that hopeless dream. she was so lonely as the commander of the band of the hawk, trying to face the reality of griffith's injuries and the overwhelming way that their roles have been reversed. she's leaning on guts, on anyone, for support for the first time, while being forced to put on a brave face not just for the whole band of the hawk, but for her idol and savior.

what happens during the scene?

casca is changing griffith's bandages. she knocks over a bowl of water, and when she goes to leave the wagon to replace it, griffith grabs her, and... well, that's kind of the whole crux of this meta, isn't it?

griffith forces himself on top of her. the question is why, and what's his intention? that's been discussed a lot on tumblr. the other question is: what does casca think his intention is, and how does she take it?

there is a lot of visual language in the scene that, to me, clearly indicates sexual intentions from griffith, and clearly indicates that's how casca takes his intentions.

side note, i think griffith is crying in the above panel. could be sweat, could be tears... it's subtle enough to leave it up to interpretation.

that last panel in particular is EXACTLY paralleled with the kiss panel during the eclipse. the helmet, the direct eye contact, the pose... miura has always been very intentional with his parallels and his paneling, so i doubt this was an accident. the eclipse panel is just below, btw. scroll quick if u dont wanna see

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this is also how griffith and charlotte's sex scene started.

the wagon scene and the sex scene with charlotte happen because griffith is doing something rash purely on emotion after feeling stripped of all power and no longer in control of a situation. it's not as simple as griffith being an evil rapist from the start, but you can easily see a pattern of him lashing out and trying to regain control through pushy/coercive sex with women. would griffith do this kind of thing normally? no, of course not. but nothing about the situations he's at these points in the manga are "normal," and again there is a pattern of him lashing out and using women as an outlet for his feeling out of control. they ALSO both happen because he feels like he's losing guts.

casca tells griffith to stop, and griffith does stop, but it's not clear to me if he stops intentionally, or if he simply is physically incapable of continuing. i've seen the idea put forward that griffith is terrified that guts and casca are going to abandon him, and so he offers his body as the only thing he has left in a fit of desperation. i'm not opposed to that being part of it - griffith has used his body and sex as an offering before, with gennon.

this is how griffith is looking at casca during the scene:

one is normal and even wistful and sad, the other is...... fucking batshit LOL put those damn things away!!!! blue eyes white demon

one thing, though, that i want to say very clearly: griffith may have offered himself sexually to casca out of desperation, but it is very clear to me that casca did not want it. griffith fully forced himself on top of her, too, with his arms wrapped around her. if it was unwanted and forced sexual contact, regardless of why griffith did it or how much of a woobie he is to u, that is BY DEFINITION sexual assault.

this is the part that kind of drives me crazy. i don't personally believe that this was an act of self-loathing or self harm, like take my body because i have nothing left, but even if it is - it is still sexual assault. it is!!!! this isn't an argument!!!!!! yeah he was sad about it but it was still sexual assault!!!!

but anyways, enough about griffith. how does casca react?

i've seen the fact that she doesn't push him off presented as evidence that this wasn't assault. i'll... get to that.

what happens after?

after, we get these panels of casca, obviously shaken, outside the wagon.

she is clearly VERY upset. when guts approaches, he sees something is clearly wrong, but she brushes it off and says its nothing. when he keeps pressing, asking if it was something with griffith, she eventually breaks down and tells him that she can't leave with him. she has to stay with griffith, she has to care for him in his fragile, broken state. guts, on the other hand, has to go. even if its alone...

is this reaction in conflict with the idea that what griffith did in the wagon was sexual assault???? no. not at all.

casca feels immense devotion to the band of the hawks, and especially to griffith. she reminisces about how strong griffith seemed to her while she bandages him in the wagon. he gave her everything - a purpose, a reason to fight, a dream, and now even though the event was terrifying she sees griffith's physical weakness and knows she can't leave him. she can't leave him. how often irl do women overlook instances where their boundaries were violated, or a man they're close with was sexually aggressive towards them, because of those pre-established relationships? because that's their boss, or manager, or idol?

and not telling guts - honestly, that to me oddly is evidence to prove it WAS sexual assault. i think casca's single-minded devotion to the hawks and their dream would have made it so that she wouldn't dare bring up griffith doing anything to make her uncomfortable, because everyone is already on the brink of falling apart. even before this, we see her putting everyone above herself to keep the hawks together - crying alone when she thinks no one can hear her, barely sleeping, so exhausted she becomes suicidal, there is no reason to believe she would bring up something that just upset HER. she is less important, in her own mind, than the good of the whole. it makes perfect sense that she would do exactly what she does - she cries alone by the side of the wagon and doesn't tell anyone what happened.

another thing that i want to be very clear about: the idea that because casca didn't immediately push griffith off of her, and because she didn't bring it up to guts, and because she decided to stay with him afterwards, that means it certainly can't be sexual assault? that is rape apologism. full stop. if your argument hinges on any of those things, your argument is rape apologism. this is not up for debate.

NOW - did kentaro miura in the 1990s in japan know about the nuances of how women react to sexual harassment and sexual assault? that i'm not sure about lol. the argument "this is not in line with the way i assume cishet man kentaro miura in 1996 would understand sexual assault, and therefore i don't think it was his intention to depict sexual assault" is something i can understand. that's NOT what i'm seeing though.

that being said, there is some evidence that miura DID have a very nuanced understanding of assault. here, we have griffith talking almost to himself (though casca is nearby), breaking down about how dirty he feels for sleeping with gennon.

and yet, when casca embraces him, trying to comfort him, what does he do?

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

and yeah, guts kills gambino, but only because gambino tries to kill him. guts first reacts by crying and asking why?

finally, compare the above panels of casca after the wagon scene to casca after almost being raped by wylad, and after the eclipse:

i mean, this is how miura draws casca when she's fucking going through it generally, but STILL. they are similar. she's shaking while bandaging him because he's so weak, but afterwards she is unable to mask how shaken she is. i don't think her reaction is JUST because he's weak.

this is so fucking long LOLLLLLL. i'm not interested in arguing with any of the various meta posts about the wagon scene not being sexual assault directly, or discussing it with the authors. if you want an alternate perspective, one that takes into account more of casca's POV, this is for you, and i hope you found this helpful! finally i've got this all in one place

tl;dr i think due to the framing you're supposed to see griffith's intention as sexual during the scene, casca very clearly doesn't want it, if your argument that it's not sexual assault hinges on her not pushing him off immediately u suck

uhhhhh that's it

[austinsastrology8991]

> Mars in Houses < How you fight demons by becoming more demony ANd where others thirsty for yo Red-Bull-shit

Mars in First - Red bull gave you wings. your venom is oozing out yo teeth, but you still grinning at anything that moves. you act out a lot -and we let you - only because we don't wanna be the reason you lashed out - and you will justify your outbursts with any reason possible. because anything and everything makes you jump into a fist fight. and we don't wanna hear it was our fault later when we all know its your fault Mars in Second - Red bull made you sleep. you tired of fighting, but you will never surrender - so like what do you even want. your easily the most annoying person to get in a fight with because you never quit even if you lost the fight. passive in yo jabs but you a genius at pissing me off. and honestly the only reason i put up with it is because you so god damn sensual but your the definition of walking on egg shells Mars in Third - Red bull gave you intrusive thoughts. You are irrationally provocative and you don't even care that you just pissed everyone off with yo shit talking. you are able to have a conversation, but you must get the final word, and this final word, is why we all roll our eyes at you whenever you say yo 'piece.' notice how know one talks shit back to you? talk is cheap Mars in Fourth - Red bull gave you cancer - you hold in a lot, and we know your insides are boiling into a hot soup and thats why everyone so nice to you. we dont want to be the ones you vomit at. and we know its because yo mama made you bite yo tongue as a kid. and well we gotten used to it Mars in Fifth - Red bull gave you energy - get hyper - *dubstep**ksi appears** your dominant simply because your energy is overwhelming to others > you got the loudest laugh > the 'funniest' jokes > the biggest rawr xd > no one gonna step to you because you loud , and to extinguish yo flames we gotta call the fire brigade because you set the whole building on fire Mars in Sixth - Red bull gave you band aids/aids - you the most non combative person but can cut anyone so easily. you know exactly how to put someone down, and thats why you dont look for fights, because it feels like work at dis point. undercover freaks Mars in Seventh - Red bull gave you an erection - RED ROCKET RED ROCKET ummm do you really gotta show yo red rocket to everyone. seriously you working everyone as if you plan on sleeping with everyone. and the people you really wanna sleep with man, never seen a bigger simp, but keep pretending you a pimp, i mean i would too if i was as thirsty as you Mars in Eighth - Red bull gave you demon wings - scary. you can expose anyone by diggging into their psyche/secrets, and after you expose them, you console them, make them feel better about how you made them yo bitch. I mean its impressive how well you keep your secrets to yourself, but man do you exterminate everyone elses and its uncomfortable to be yo target Mars in Ninth - Red bull made you jump off something high - loud ambitions and a whole buncha energy. and well we know you have a grand plan to take over the world, but we done hearing about it we just waiting to see if you got the balls to do it. oh wow you actually jumped off the cliff and nearly died. was it as legendary as you thought it would be > i mean shit, imma talk about it so maybe? Mars in Tenth - Red bull made you put on a suit - Professionally a proffesional. a professional that proffeses they a profesional professionally like professionals who are proffesional. do you feel like i gave you the respect you deserved, or do you feeel im mocking you? they ask themselves this typa shit 24/7 because they dont wanna get spat on, but they so used to it - so they put themselves in only win win situations to avoid anything 'unprofessional'

Mars in Eleventh - Red bull gave you purpose - yall are kinda fearless but we all know its because you so afraid you wont get your way lol. but you masters at getting yo way, but that just means people dont wanna get in yo way... now ask yourself. how beneficial is this really. i mean at least nothing is an obstacle, but also no one helping you, becasue your attitude has convinced everyone you dont need help, and we also don't want to Mars in Twelfth - Red bull made you think he gave you wings - yall into infecting peoples minds; thats yo weapon. you know the exact right things to pull off to get people stuck in a thought loop of guessing what ifs of what is actually nothing at all. and this 'weapon' after a while, is completely useless after yo game is revealed, but yall are intriguing and are always shapeshifting into some new shit

[illyabata]

scars are A Thing™ with wriothesley and nobody can convince me otherwise, idc if there is zero mention of his scars or their meaning when he comes out idc it’s my permanent headcanon that scars and their stories are simply entangled with his character idc

so now i give you: wriothesley who is fascinated by your scars

tw: discussion of scars lol, but in no way do i indicate their origin unless it’s stretch marks. however if talk of scars at all is triggering to you, dont read!! it’s sweet fluffy stuff, but that doesn’t matter if it will trigger you. please take care :)

sfw, big brainrot under cut

theyre so much smaller than his, more delicate, just like you. doesnt matter if compared to other people you are big or tall, he’s such a big guy that he makes you feel small no matter your size or height. and no matter what your scars look like to you, to him they are beautiful. to him they are delicate.

he’s enamored by all of your scars no matter their origin—stretch marks, however, seem to intrigue him the most of all. he’s absolutely transfixed by them, and you can never understand why. he’s simply mesmerized by the way the blemished skin stretches as he thumbs and presses it, watching the discoloration flatten itself only to bloat back when he leaves it alone. for some reason he just seems so puzzled by the concept of natural scarring of the body; nothing had happened to harm you for these to appear—they’re simply the product of change, your skin either going through rapid periods of expanding or shrinking. he thinks they’re pretty.

he’d spend so long just running his rough fingers over your skin, absorbed in the feeling of the puckered tissue under his own blemished hands. whether the scars are stretch marks or from something else, he loves them, he loves you.

this might sound weird but i just like to imagine you both spend time gently tracing each others’ scars as comfort, like it sounds weird in words but it makes sense i promise. there is something intimate and fascinating about scars, no matter what they’re from; it’s truly like the language of your body’s history, a record of what has occurred. you can resent them or be proud of them, it really depends on the person and situation—but regardless, scars are always a record, and that is a constant no matter the person.

and if you’re not comfortable with that level of touch or that much attention on your scars, that is absolutely okay. he’s not going to make you uncomfortable, he’ll always ask if it’s okay before he looks at or touches them—or touches you at all, really. he never wants to hurt you. and if you say you’d rather he not touch your scars, he’ll understand and just show you he loves you—all of you—in some other way.

like idk about anyone else or if its just me and im fucking insane but sometimes i get lost looking at my own scars; sometimes the human body at work is just kind of fascinating to watch, and even more so in retrospect. it’s like holy fuck you’re looking at its handiwork, you can plainly see how the skin has been so masterfully rebuilt into this little woven bandaid of cells, carefully crafted to not only rebuild but protect. your body has looked after itself, and it will continue to do so. and thats just kind of a fascinating thing to me idk😭

some extra thoughts about scars, not really to do with wrio; red brackets will indicate the end of it if you want to skip: [[ it usually replaces any feeling of disgust i have because instead of focusing on the bad feeling of remembering where they came from or being sad at the way they look im able to think about how cool it is the way my body recovered and made my skin even stronger; it didnt just wipe it all away and give me a clean slate so i could forget, it pieced the cells together again bit by bit until it had not only replaced the wound but enforced it—so instead of forgetting the bad feelings, they were replaced by wonder. sort of like a sign that says “proof that where once there was pain, now there is strength”. it’s kind of like how they say you don’t just try to quit bad habits, you must replace the bad habit with a good one. you can replace the bad feelings associated with your scars with new feelings, whether they are good feelings or neutral feelings or meh feelings. ]]

before you, he understood scars to be an ugly thing—a source of shame, a show for others to marvel at if he left them uncovered, for them to ogle at and whisper about as if trying to guess the origin of the wounds was a sort of entertainment to them. and then in the fortress of meropide, his scars felt much less like a source of shame and more like an intimidation factor (which wasn’t something he necessarily felt good about, but it was something that he benefitted from as the duke). but when you came along and he began to know you, suddenly they were this beautiful, fascinating phenomenon that lead him to view his own scars in a different light.

he’s a powerful, strong man, yes. he’s intimidating and feared, but he is also loved, and all for good reason—he is solid and safe, an image of reliability to others. and sometimes it could weigh him down when he couldn’t seem to let another help carry the burden.

the way you made him feel, though, tracing his big ugly scars like they were rivers, like they weren’t repulsive—it changed him entirely, and it changed the way he saw himself. in the overworld, he was a criminal brute slathered in the proof of his savageness. in the fortress, he was the rock-solid standard for redemption, and he had to uphold his firm reputation. but with you, he was able to be fragile; with you, the walls he had built to protect himself from both sides of fontaine’s society came tumbling down, because he didn’t have to pretend when he was with you.

if such a small, sweet thing like you could see him in such a kind light with so much love in those eyes of yours, perhaps he was not so bad after all.

everyone else in all of teyvat could believe he was truly a bad guy like he sometimes enjoyed playing at—but it wouldn’t matter, because there you were in his bed every night, held fast in his big arms as you mindlessly traced the long, thin writings engraved in his skin, letting the stories they told lull you to sleep.

[weirdmageddon]

ok. let's finally talk about this thing i've been wanting to go public with for ages

so i am not a fan of needing THC to help me curb the embarrassment i have in being happy talking about my real realll special interests, because perceived rejection of my interests feels like rejection of myself since i put so much of myself (my time) into them. i anticipate rejection from others because the stuff i find myself occupied with is detached, abstract, highly technical, or niche, and i'm aware of the surrounding cultural assumptions. some of them, and the level at which i am in involved in understanding them, are really specialized or esoteric, so even opening up about them is like "fuuuck im gonna be made fun of or it’s gonna be too technical that they zone out and dont understand why this is so meaningful to me" ive even posted about that feeling before.

see if i start accumulating too much self-context made in my own mind without sharing it i start to feel more and more isolated from other people around me, that they’re not seeing the full extent of what im seeing myself. i don’t share it, because i fear rejection or superficial judgments in other people’s eyes (probably because it’s happened to me and i’ve seen it happen to others). but at the same time it has to be shared with more people around me or else i feel like i have an intestinal blockage in my mind. what happens is my mental colon explodes from all the shit accumulated over time and vou get a post like this. i’m sorry for that mental image btw. anyway back the point of this post

anything where i can systematize archetypes in real, everyday situations has always been my strong suit. so when people ask me my hobbies im like ... uhhh what am i supposed to say? i analyze stuff about the world and rotate it in my mind. when carl jung wrote there are “as many archetypes as there are typical situations in life” i know exactly what he was talking about.

i’ve been toeing the line to really talk about this thing for two years, so let me tell you about socionics. if you already know what im talking about i love you. if you don’t (or even if you do, keep reading there’s probably stuff you don’t know in here), it is part abstract cybernetic model, part jungian concepts, part philosophy of information exchange. it classifies how people communicate and exchange information. it was created in eastern europe in the late 70s, developed primarily in the 80s-90s by other authors and it’s been an endlessly fascinating, elegant, and reliable tool for me.

usually people dismiss personality typology systems because the mbti became so watered down and pop-culturally saturated that people seemed to collectively take a stance of not taking anyone that genuinely cares about it seriously, or at least that’s the impression i got.

(btw — i need to go on this brief rant — i will never forgive 16personalities for being the big five rebranded and people thinking it's mbti. 16personalities gives you your big five type. they explicitly state on their website that they don’t borrow any concepts from jung. -A and -T don’t exist in the mbti and correspond directly to low and high neuroticism respectively. i figured out myself they mapped each letter dichotomy to the other four measures on the big five: extraversion (I/E), conscientiousness (P/J), agreeableness (T/F), openness to experience (S/N). which is stupid and it’s false advertising. take 16p and a big five test see for yourself how they match up. your personal mbti type can be different from its correlated big five type. the actual mbti using jungian concepts as a base is alright though. oh, and the best neo-jungian mbti stuff is by far michael pierce’d takes on it. if you actually fw that heres a carrd i created a few years ago about the cognitive function axes.)

but i always end up going to the bottom of the iceberg in anything i get really into, and i basically integrate it into my own understanding of the world around me for a while. maybe it was because i had a bad experience genuinely talking about it a few years ago from some people who made superficial judgments about it that made me sort of quiet about my interest in typology systems. i assume it’s because myers and briggs used the tool towards racist ends; it acquired negative connotations, bullshit intuition supremacy, and left the study of psychological types tainted in the united states. even if the individual’s study of the system is neutral, unbiased, out of pure curiosity as a way to classify and relate different personality structures to each other, as was the case with me. in addition to 16personalities being an invalid “mbti” test that bought their way to the front page of google, and rampant superficial information at all levels of study, finding anyone who was into it like me was basically impossible. the reason i have a preferred interpretation of jungian + mbti concepts is because i’ve tried different ones on and sensed how well they conform to reality as a way of describing phenomenon, ditching old ones that werent as clear. michael pierce’s i’ve found are the closest to what i sense jung's intentions were. (actually quite likely this is something i would attribute to being because all three of us are types LIl (and also all infj too, how about that?) brain-to-brain communication LII (carl jung) to LII (michael pierce) to LII (me)). so i felt like michael pierce kept the things that worked in real life and ditched the things that didn’t, leaving behind his elegant integration of the concepts.

anyway, i was under the assumption that anything that could be mistaken for it—which socionics often is at a glance—would be dismissed out of hand, even though it’s entirely different. plus, there’s all the context i’d need to clarify about how “it’s different from the “fun” unserious pop-psych mbti and also absurdly more technical” and what's the point in doing that if they don't respect you enough to hear you out anyway? so it just made me closed off.

they share a common ancestor though. the concepts are still based on carl jung’s book ‘psychological types’ which is why there is some shallow overlap, but the scope, structure, and application of it is different. i feel like this system is a lot more “living” and relevant to real interactions and communication between people in our everyday lives. i am always seeing specific examples of these concepts in play in real life and in characters depicted in media. it’s also been more empirically studied and successfully implemented over in eastern europe, and has gone under constant development and contribution. while since the 50s, mbti had crystalized and become stagnant with diverging interpretations to the point where it’s become basically meaningless to try to talk about because nobody can agree on concepts or semantics; there are virtually no distinctions between “schools” or “models” to differentiate interpretations — (although i have my preference for what i think are the most meaningful and reasonable one; as i said, that goes to michael pierce.) eastern (not so much western) socionics is incredibly more well put-together than mbti or kiersey for squeezing the potential from jung’s original ideas, and goes much deeper. that said, i will ALWAYS advise self-studying typlogy concepts over taking a test. the algorithm of a test can never possibly know you and your individual biases in interpreting the meaning of the words better than the knowledge you just have about yourself. if you learn the theory underlying it you will actually learn about yourself and others and it will actually mean something to you instead of a being an empty decoration for your profile.

here is a comparison chart i translated into english so you can get some idea of where these systems actually differ.

Букалов, А. (2019). On the advantages of socionics over other post-Jungian typologies. Socionics, Mentology and Personality Psychology, (6), 5–7. Retrieved from https://publishing.socionic.info/index.php/socionics/article/view/2603

for me it’s been super insightful applied to real life. it is like a toolkit for interpreting why some people just rub me the wrong way and our communication feels disjointed. or why some people pass my vibe check to enter my personal inner circle and i feel like talking with them is easier and not an uphill battle. who i feel drawn to and want to get to know better. to deconstruct why i and other people interpret information in the world the way they do, and how that explains the kind of people i end up curating in my life. it has put into words the concepts i haven’t been able to find the words for beforehand, and thus enables me to retrospectively pinpoint exactly what unconsciously makes people feel more at ease or why communication is just easier with some and why it’s harder with others, regardless of any other factors. there are other factors of course, that are the result of unique circumstances—nurture, culture, and upbringing—and i of course account for those, it’s not as pertinent to me as the framework that provides the skeletal structure regardless of those individual variations that are simply already a given for me. that was actually the whole point of its creation.

the system gives me a common language to communicate these ideas with, at least to the few people i talk to who have learned it, but i can adapt the concepts in how they relate to specific circumstances and convey it to a lay audience. i’ve been doing just that to explain why, of the people who have been made aware of the hs rarepair john-aradia, i have seen no one object to it, and instead, everyone i saw found it intriguing the more they thought about it, even when they initally thought was “so random”. and i realized, “hey wait! i know how to explain that!”, but that's in another post i've been working on.

[i was actually originally writing this post in the middle of said aradia and john analysis but i felt like there was way too much i wanted to talk about as its own thing. i figured people are going to be reading that post for john-aradia explanation, not public updates about my mind. i just didn’t want to rewrite this to account for the context because the point i made was still relevant]:

but now i’m thinking okay… i’m talking to a bunch of homestucks. why am i prostrating myself here? why am i so defensive? they’re probably creaming their pants at the idea of another symmetrically divisible system of classification to get their hands on. homestuck itself is founded upon a bunch of ideas with symmetrical divisions and classifications (divisible products of 2). aspect dichotomies, quadrants, cards, black-white, yin/yang and literally countless other abstract systems. if there is a common word to refer to these sorts of things, please let me know.

but in socionics terms, all of this sort of stuff i’m refering to would be within the domain of extraverted/black intuition (Ne) information, and classifying or positioning someone within those frameworks would be introverted/white logic (Ti). you can read more about these “elements” here. homestuck has familiarized you with notionally irreducible aspects present in everything, dual yin/yang forces permeating everything, so if you understand all of the sorts of abstract classification systems in homestuck you’re basically already 75% the way to fundamentally grasping model A socionics. it is way more structured and stable than the typologies in homestuck though. but you will perceive there to be similarities in the need for archetypal/thematic sense skills.

if you want to learn socionics, for the love of god start here. there are many weak places out there to start out with that will set you up with a faulty and loose understanding, but school of classic socionics is the best foundation to start with. i saw it emerge from the beginning when it was founded, having been part of it since late 2022.

this is an introduction to SCS, what makes it special, and and how differs from other socionics schools. i find SCS to be the most comprehensive, and i’m active within a side discord to discuss theoretical constructs related to model A. i’ve helped find the links between some concepts in model A that weren’t fully substantiated in augusta’s original works, specifically the importance of the asking/declaring reinin dichotomy, how it fits with regard to the rest of model A’s structure, how it underpins the ring of social benefit (which was missing from her writing), and how it can be used as an information element charge just like positivist/negativist can (i.e. all process types have positive asking Ne (+Ne? and all result types have negative declaring Ne (-Ne!). i’m still working on transfering my essay on that to a document.)

i know the intricacies of this system like the back of my hand but yeah i never post much about it because it’s so niche and i dont know who would even want to hear it besides people who i already know would, like in that small specialist group, but they actually been quiet lately even though i’m still active in there sharing things i realized. and i even feel alienated in most casual socionics discussion groups, especially larger ones. i need people who can match my freak about it.

because i have nowhere else to talk about it i’m starting to feel guilty yapping my friends’ ears off about it when i deconstruct everything i come across in light of this system like i’m being annoying about it. but at the same time when im doing that i am constantly reinforcing the merit of the system in successfully finding some dynamic i see in the drama of real life in connection to some idea from the model. i can immediately lock on to the core principles that are at play in any situation, validating the patterns that have been observed by others. by what measure do these people / characters / groups relate to each other, how do we define the specific “feeling” of the energy between them together? i could do a socionical analysis for anything that captures my interest.

it’s also been incredible for self-insight. i can now accurately explain my thought process.

i can change my perspective of the scope of my thinking on different levels. depending on the urgency of a situation developing around me and my respect for other people’s time, i can expand my reasoning from splitting hairs at the smallest pedantic specifics—although i prefer not to, to the most holistic global hard binary 0/1 (no/yes) judgment.

it’s fractal-like; once i know how to classify and compare the features of something to another, everything else with overlapping logical relationships instantly rises up in the same way, which of course is what leads to me having insights that reinforce the potential inherent in the things around me, because my way of thinking is isomorphic. i also experience strong animated mental imagery accompanying my conscious thoughts about these systems, minimalist shapes or lines of the barebones motion happening. i feel like my mental activity and what i actually write down is trying to capture what im seeing in my head.

i prefer to be brief, but that requires sharing contexts with someone. once i've established similar ways of talking about the same thing with someone so that we’re on the same page, our messages basically become exchanging code words with each other. all of the potential densely packed into these efficient little terms.

the effect is that i am reducing the amount of time and energy i have to spend trying to explain things to someone. i just want to communicate easily and be understood by the people i talk to so that i can enjoy my time with them. this is why i felt like such a long, clarifying, in-depth post was necessary, which would rip the bandaid off and pull it all up at once, instead of on a private, individual-to-individual level. i had to have it engraved somewhere i could just point someone to instead of repeatedly having to explain the same thing over and over cause that’s a waste of time and energy.

in fact, that revelation i had about myself just now can be explained by model A too! my own type is LIl and this type’s id block houses the information elements +Te! → +Ni?, which aushra describes as “The quality of deeds and actions and the efficient expenditure of energy in work—only performing for what is truly necessary—leads to peace of mind in the future.”

or, for example, coming at it from another angle, here is an older post i made before i was even aware of socionics. i was already talking about my experiences, patterns of thinking and self-awareness in a way that was so on the nose for a socionics analysis.

is that not the clearest example of phase 2’s sensitivity (for me it is information about sensorics)? -Fi? → -Se! superego block, anyone? and did you see how much i gave attention to the time i spend working; +Te! -> +Ni? id block? [information element descriptions here]. you could also derive the progression of the information metabolism stages in my own psyche (phase 1: Ethics -> phase 2: Sensorics -> phase 3: Logic -> phase 4: Intuition).

(from The Characteristic of SLI)

so through socionics it’s like i can find an explanation for just about everything i observe in others and myself just because i’ve extrapolated the logical relationships from that system and can isomorphically apply them to anything.

and i don't say that lightly! i'm not saying anything in this post lightly. like i have a degree in biopsychology from an honors college (ncf; yes, the liberal arts college desantis got his soulless hands on because it was “too woke"). having taken courses in statistics, research methods in psychology, and others, i know all about proper research design (and designing them myself). and of course i ended my four years there with my undergrad thesis, examining temporoparietal synchrony in autistic individuals when working alone and together, where for months on end i was doing nothing but reading and interpreting the validity of research papers. i even deconstructed poorly designed psychological constructs commonly used in autistic research in mine.

i also took personality psychology as a course during my time there. i got a birds eye view of most of the popular paradigms and still felt like i was more knowledgeable in the discourse behind some of the topics we glossed over since the course material was more of a broad comprehensive thing than an in-depth one for anything specific. in totality, all of the models i read about in relation to each other seemed so fragmented into different cuts and perspectives in trying to understand and find the patterns in people’s mental life. and yet none of the models i read about hold as as great of an everyday explanatory power as socionics does for explaining ways of thinking, people's proneness to certain tendencies, and the energetic tension that happens between certain people.

people can say otherwise that it’s pseudoscience. even though there are numerous studies built on real-world observations, the large-scale statistical data like from victor talanov. there's school of system socionics who emphasize its practice. it would be impossible to add all the evidence i can to support my claims to this post but you can see for youself - there are still countless new articles being published from different authors. regardless of that, even if it isn't accepted within the rigors of “scientific canon” i really dont give a fuck since it absolutely does indeed have explanatory and predictive power, and that’s all i care about. i’m confident in this not only through firsthand experience, the ability to frame what i know to be true about the real world within it and have it successfully describe those things, as well as talking to other people about my observations.

additionally, i see people make conclusions about interpersonal dynamics where they unknowingly repeat information that can be derived from socionics concepts.

something i noticed a LOT and ive repeatedly thought about and come to the same conclusion multiple times is that i think i naturally might "embody" the most optimal ways of interacting with other people for myself. it gives me insight into the nature of the personal relationships that i already procure in my life, but it’s not really a self-fulfilling prophecy because i dont use socionics to prescribe who i "should" be friends with. that's silly. thats a silly thing to do because people do have idiosyncracies that don't perfectly align with a system if you rigidly adhere to it, so you're bound to be set up for failure if you try to force that and you will be disappointed. it's better to let these feelings happen naturally without pretense, because that's where the observations that fuel my insight comes from.

i have a subconscious sense for who i will be able to get along with in the long term almost instantly without the need for any kind of system, just based on their actual mannerisms and “vibes”, but that alone is not good enough for me, i want to know why. socionics just gives me tools to figure out why so that i know what im dealing with and its not just ineffable energies, but i can put a name to those energies to think and talk about it and compare and discover patterns in what ive curated in my inner circle over my life, what i feel drawn towards. and indeed i do find plentiful amounts of recurring patterns. the simplification and abstraction is not to destroy the soul and expression of individuals but to wrap my head around them and understand them deeper in relation to everything else, including myself.

i am aware it can be confusing for many people which turns them away. but if theres any questions you have or youre confused about any concepts i can answer them

but yeah um, i’ve really only scratched the surface of this cognitive cybernetic tool. if you are genuinely interested in what i have to say and want me to talk more about it please openly tell me since i’m not a mind reader! i assume disinterest by default.

anyway if you got to this point thanks for reading. i wanted to just put it out there for context about any posts i make in the future. just stating my honest thoughts and whats been occupying my mind for the past two years.

be on the lookout for the john and aradia analysis soon where i’ll use it in practice to deconstruct some things about those characters. and if you’re coming to this post from that analysis after ive posted it, i’m sorry this post is so long in the middle of an already long-ish post. i just thought the context was important.

[gwaruuu]

HEADCANONS!!!

heres some jjk headcanons cuz im 2 lazy 2 post layouts heh…

—˖° In high school, before heading off on missions- especially those that would keep them apart for weeks or even months- Shoko, Geto, Gojo, Haibara, and Nanami had a "tradition". They’d gather at the local crepe shop, they'd catch up on each other's lives. These moments were a rare reprieve, a chance to laugh and talk like ordinary teenagers, god knows when the next time they'd see each other due to classes and missions.

This is why Geto's daughters; Nanako and Mimiko are so obsessed with this shop, after Geto's split from the group he often would take them there when they were little girls and even teenagers. Talking about his highschool years, but never mentioning Gojo or anyone, just that he had friends he cared deeply about. —

During the years apart, Geto and Gojo would occasionally meet up ( Confirmed, I'm pretty sure)… Geto would often rave about how far his daughters, Nanako and Mimiko, were progressing- their wits, their strengths, and their determination. Gojo, always quick to joke, would laugh and tease, “ Yeah, but can they beat me? ” Geto’s response was always the same: a swift swat to the back of Gojo’s head, followed by a confident, “ Of course they could. ”

Shoko would sometimes visit Geto whenever Nanako and Mimiko caught a common cold or the flu, treating them until they felt better. Over time, Geto developed the germphobia, a result of Shoko’s strict insistence on cleanliness. — Nobara, Kirara, and Maki often go on what you could call girl dates. Whether it’s doing each other’s makeup or going to see movies, they love spending time together. Nobara and Kirara especially enjoy doing Maki’s makeup, though Kirara is more into styling her hair-adding hair clips and accessories.

Meanwhile, Yuta, Maki, Hakari, and Kirara frequently talk about relationships. Kirara often gives Maki thoughtful advice on handling certain situations, while Hakari, being Hakari, isn’t exactly the most helpful-but that’s okay, Yuta just enjoys having a friend. —

Itadori, Megumi, and Nobara often had sleepovers behind Gojo’s back, despite the rule that Itadori and Megumi weren’t allowed in Nobara’s dorm; due to the no boys allowed in the girl's dormroom. Itadori, however, insisted on having sleepovers anyway, dragging Megumi along. A few times, Gojo caught them all tucked in and fast asleep with a movie still playing-or found the room in complete disarray, the remnants of a failed pillow fort scattered everywhere. To which, he just said nothing- kept an eye on them. And would often tease Megumi about it afterwards, telling Megumi that he's " gone soft. "

Gojo takes Megumi to visit his sister; Tsumiki, in the hospital. He can hardly bear the sight, as it constantly makes him question whether he failed in his role as a..somewhat parent. Despite this, he stays strong for Megumi- after all, he is the strongest. There have been times when, during one of Geto and his meet-ups, Gojo broke down and cried to Geto about such issue. —

lmk how yall feel abt these.. i got so many more in the bag... if yall have any ideas, dont feel afraid 2 comment them xP

[starsonablackboard]

a long-ass unstructured yappin about trod lambert because i really, really love them and i feel like they don't get enough recognition (maybe i just dont see it tho). (im not even putting the read more bar here, you're going with me even if you don't want to)

maybe it's my taste in characters (it's definitely it), but im much more fascinated by them than by narinder. and don't get me wrong, trod narinder is beautifully written, complex, interesting, and just plain fun to read. he's tall dark and handsome ™ emoboy (lovingly), he likes killing things but he also has a dream journal, is patient with kids and remembers that lamb likes red foods best. but you take one look at him and go "oh that cat has some baggage". and you take one look at lambert and go "oh, a goofy sheep". and then this sheep hits you with a moving truck.

like, what do i mean – narinder (im sorry for using you as an opposite example you're the second half of the pairing what can i do) is obviously complex. lambert is subtlety complex, moreover, they're deceivingly simple and they learned to hide their complexity very well. like we're 400k?? words in and we know pretty much nothing about them. their family? their father used to sing a song to them sometimes. what song? did it have lyrics? what situations was it for? how did their father's voice sound? next question. their long term goals, their fears, their nightmares? no. and we're in their pov half the time (and i know that this is intentional because sara has talked about this, about lambs tendencies to deflect and hide themselves behind masks).

i distinctly remember the moment i understood that i will love them as a character – it's when in earlier chapters (before 4th one im pretty sure) narinder hides an axe in his sleeves and lambert takes a look at him and goes "you don't cross your arms often. i don't think you yet realise that you're able to do it again. whatcha hiding in there?" and i was like. oh. they're smart. and im not saying it like i thought they weren't smart before that, im saying that it takes a certain type of attentiveness and skill to notice such small details and to put them together. and they drop that line with a smile and in a silly speaking manner ("watcha") that at that point annoys narinder to no end. yes, they're silly goofy and i love them for it, but this is barely the surface of what they're actually are. (oh and i also really like the fact that their unseriousness and light heartedness isn't a "fake personality", it's just one of the layers sides of their character)

in my native language we have this phrase that translates to "kindness should come with fists/kindness should have fists/whatever" (maybe there's a similar one in english but I've never heard of it) and i think it suits lambert incredibly much. they are kind, i would say radically kind at that. let's be honest the whole "enemies to friends" part of the fic exists and has any chance of existing only because lambert is continuously and stubbornly kind to narinder. he tries to kill them, they bring him food. he bashes their head into the altar, they make him clothes. he curses them again and again, they make sure he doesn't run out of candles. i once mentioned this part to my friend (that knows nothing about cotl and by extension trod but listens to my yapping anyway) and she said something along the lines of "he walks all over them but they continue to love and love and love" and i don't think that's it. lambert is incredibly, sometimes unreasonably kind (and selfishly, where the whole "why do you keep a murderer around" part comes in, but I'll talk about that later), but they have boundaries, their kindness, however generous and forgiving, has limits, and those limits are clear and hard once you reach them. they will never ever let anyone "walk all over" them, even if from the outside it looks like it, they know what they want and what they're willing to tolerate, and when those boundaries are broken they never hesitate to act.

circling back to the selfish kindness part. i love how forgiving bishops' isn't for bishops'sake. it's for theirs. they refuse to let the anger and resentment consume them (im pretty sure sara made a whole comic about this point specifically), they've seen what it does and they will not repeat the mistakes of gods that came before them. the sheer will to live and to live the best life you can in this is also so impressive and important to me – it's one thing to not let your god to sacrifice you, it's another to step your (rightful) anger on the throat no matter how hard it is because you know you won't be happy or even fully your own self if you don't. their mercy isn't a weakness, their kindness isn't an invitation to exploit them. almost all of the things lamber does they do for their own sake first and foremost (yes, even running themselves dry for their cult. they fully understand what they're doing and why – they want those under their care to prosper, and they're willing to do what it takes. the sacrifices they make are stemming from their want. it's different from exhausting yourself just because you were told so).

all this to say that i find them to be such a beautiful blend of things that are usually written as mutually exclusive. they're lighthearted and silly yet complex and smart. they're kind and forgiving yet selfish and incredibly able and willing to stand their ground. they're determined to make their own choices even if to outsiders those choices seem incredibly poor.

they're subversive at every step and they feel so alive and vivid because of that. i love them. thank you bamsara