#yes i use tags as notes for things that u forgot to mention instead of editing the post

[starsonablackboard]

a long-ass unstructured yappin about trod lambert because i really, really love them and i feel like they don't get enough recognition (maybe i just dont see it tho). (im not even putting the read more bar here, you're going with me even if you don't want to)

maybe it's my taste in characters (it's definitely it), but im much more fascinated by them than by narinder. and don't get me wrong, trod narinder is beautifully written, complex, interesting, and just plain fun to read. he's tall dark and handsome ™ emoboy (lovingly), he likes killing things but he also has a dream journal, is patient with kids and remembers that lamb likes red foods best. but you take one look at him and go "oh that cat has some baggage". and you take one look at lambert and go "oh, a goofy sheep". and then this sheep hits you with a moving truck.

like, what do i mean – narinder (im sorry for using you as an opposite example you're the second half of the pairing what can i do) is obviously complex. lambert is subtlety complex, moreover, they're deceivingly simple and they learned to hide their complexity very well. like we're 400k?? words in and we know pretty much nothing about them. their family? their father used to sing a song to them sometimes. what song? did it have lyrics? what situations was it for? how did their father's voice sound? next question. their long term goals, their fears, their nightmares? no. and we're in their pov half the time (and i know that this is intentional because sara has talked about this, about lambs tendencies to deflect and hide themselves behind masks).

i distinctly remember the moment i understood that i will love them as a character – it's when in earlier chapters (before 4th one im pretty sure) narinder hides an axe in his sleeves and lambert takes a look at him and goes "you don't cross your arms often. i don't think you yet realise that you're able to do it again. whatcha hiding in there?" and i was like. oh. they're smart. and im not saying it like i thought they weren't smart before that, im saying that it takes a certain type of attentiveness and skill to notice such small details and to put them together. and they drop that line with a smile and in a silly speaking manner ("watcha") that at that point annoys narinder to no end. yes, they're silly goofy and i love them for it, but this is barely the surface of what they're actually are. (oh and i also really like the fact that their unseriousness and light heartedness isn't a "fake personality", it's just one of the layers sides of their character)

in my native language we have this phrase that translates to "kindness should come with fists/kindness should have fists/whatever" (maybe there's a similar one in english but I've never heard of it) and i think it suits lambert incredibly much. they are kind, i would say radically kind at that. let's be honest the whole "enemies to friends" part of the fic exists and has any chance of existing only because lambert is continuously and stubbornly kind to narinder. he tries to kill them, they bring him food. he bashes their head into the altar, they make him clothes. he curses them again and again, they make sure he doesn't run out of candles. i once mentioned this part to my friend (that knows nothing about cotl and by extension trod but listens to my yapping anyway) and she said something along the lines of "he walks all over them but they continue to love and love and love" and i don't think that's it. lambert is incredibly, sometimes unreasonably kind (and selfishly, where the whole "why do you keep a murderer around" part comes in, but I'll talk about that later), but they have boundaries, their kindness, however generous and forgiving, has limits, and those limits are clear and hard once you reach them. they will never ever let anyone "walk all over" them, even if from the outside it looks like it, they know what they want and what they're willing to tolerate, and when those boundaries are broken they never hesitate to act.

circling back to the selfish kindness part. i love how forgiving bishops' isn't for bishops'sake. it's for theirs. they refuse to let the anger and resentment consume them (im pretty sure sara made a whole comic about this point specifically), they've seen what it does and they will not repeat the mistakes of gods that came before them. the sheer will to live and to live the best life you can in this is also so impressive and important to me – it's one thing to not let your god to sacrifice you, it's another to step your (rightful) anger on the throat no matter how hard it is because you know you won't be happy or even fully your own self if you don't. their mercy isn't a weakness, their kindness isn't an invitation to exploit them. almost all of the things lamber does they do for their own sake first and foremost (yes, even running themselves dry for their cult. they fully understand what they're doing and why – they want those under their care to prosper, and they're willing to do what it takes. the sacrifices they make are stemming from their want. it's different from exhausting yourself just because you were told so).

all this to say that i find them to be such a beautiful blend of things that are usually written as mutually exclusive. they're lighthearted and silly yet complex and smart. they're kind and forgiving yet selfish and incredibly able and willing to stand their ground. they're determined to make their own choices even if to outsiders those choices seem incredibly poor.

they're subversive at every step and they feel so alive and vivid because of that. i love them. thank you bamsara

[satoruvt]

for a moment i forget to worry

pairing → xu minghao x reader

word count → 3196

genre → fluff + angst, college au ↳ tags: strangers to friends to lovers </3, college kinda sux, ROOMMATE CHAN MAKES AN APPEARANCE OR TWO, dance major minghao, reader is completely lost but its ok who isnt, lots of cute couple stuff, pov ur entire relationship with minghao. thats it, a sad break up scene, a solid amount of crying

summary → there’s something about minghao. maybe it’s the way he dances, vibrant and youthful, or maybe it’s the way he loves you. based off of hunger by florence + the machine.

warnings → i hint at sex but its pretty vague, i also mention a breakdown type deal (revolving around school/life after school)

a/n → first of all this was NOT supposed to be 3k words i dont know how it happened. second of all i’m only kind of happy with this HAHA i feel like the story itself isnt bad but i wanted it to match the song more ... idk :/ i hope u guys like it regardless !!!

pieces of you masterlist

The first time you see him is by accident.

Really - all you’re doing is trying to find Chan. You’re passing by the practice rooms, looking into them in hope he’ll be there, stopping to gaze at decorations and medals and trophies lined up on the walls. It’s when you approach a room that music plays from that you think you’ve found Chan, but when you gaze in, it’s definitely not him.

You don’t know who it is, but he moves like nothing you’ve ever seen before.

It’s hypnotizing, almost makes you want to drop your things and dance with him. There’s a sense of youth that comes from him and it’s almost overwhelming - but it’s not in energy, necessarily, but rather from the precision of his movements, the technicalities that he seems to both follow and break at the same time. Something vibrant seeps out between the seams of his body, colors you can barely recognize as they splash against anything they can reach. It’s almost tangible. 

You watch him long enough for him to finish his performance (an unknowing one) with the last notes of a song you forgot was even playing. His eyes meet with yours, slow as he completes an eloquent turn, and at the same time, a hand meets your shoulder.

A small wave of embarrassment washes over you, and you turn towards whoever touched you, effectively breaking eye contact. “What are you doing here?” Chan asks, hair still wet from what you assume was a shower.

“Looking for you,” you tell him, following as he starts to walk towards the exit. “I wanted lunch, and you owe me for that time I took your British literature quiz for you.”

Chan groans but agrees to pay, and you laugh, though the world seems a little paler than it did a few moments ago.

The second time you see him is by chance.

(Maybe.)

You’re waiting for a lecture to start, tapping your fingers against your laptop idly as you watch students trickle in last minute. It’s not a strict course, but it does start at nine in the morning, and most everyone shows up with a coffee.

You look down to brush a stray hair off of your table, and when you look up again, the dancer from before walks through the door, then looks right at you.

You feel a blush heat your face and it’s like he wants to make sure that you know that he knows, because he almost refuses to look away. You break eye contact first (like the last time, you remember for no reason) but still watch as his figure moves up the stairs, past the rows, and you hope he’ll just move past you too…

He doesn’t. He takes the empty seat right next to yours, and you don’t say anything, instead finding the peeling sticker on your laptop incredibly interesting. The professor comes in and decides that today he’ll take extra long to set everything up, apparently, and you want to scream.

“So,” the dancer says, voice quiet. It takes your breath away, the way he sounds. “Mind if I ask why you were watching me the other day?”

You cast a glance at him - not too long, you don’t think you could handle more than five seconds tops - and finally open your laptop so it makes you look busy. “I was waiting for a friend.”

“And?”

The smile in his voice is palpable. You’re already exasperated.

“You…” you start, finally deciding to look at him as some sort of subconscious power move. “You’re a beautiful dancer. It was hard not to watch.”

Beautiful doesn’t even cover half of it, but you figure he already thinks you’re weird for watching him, so you hold back the thoughts of youth and vibrancy and color. The dancer looks at you, almost blank for a moment, before a soft smile draws itself on his face. It makes your heart beat a little faster. He says “thank you” with a gentle tone, sincerely felt.

The class starts, and the two of you don’t speak throughout the next hour and a half. You type out notes on your laptop and you see him write down names of the paintings being shown on the projector, little thoughts and notes written afterwards.

By the end of class, your professor assigns an optional partnered project, and you’re more than prepared to head back to your apartment and start on it yourself. The dancer stops you before you leave, however, asks if you’d like to be his partner.

(And he says it like that, would you like to be my partner, polite and somehow sweet.)

You know your answer. “I don’t even know your name,” you stall, standing from your chair. 

“Minghao,” he tells you. “I’m Minghao, and I’d like for you to be my partner.”

You say yes easily, put your number into his contacts even easier. The sky is blue when you leave the lecture hall, trees dotted with pink and purple flowers, and it is all so bright that you forget it wasn’t this way in the first place.

The third time you see him is for school.

Underneath the excitement of giving Minghao your number, there is the knowledge that it’s for the sake of an assignment. He texts you the day after to ask if you’re free to meet up to work and you tell him sure.

(Sure is what you send back, but he doesn’t have to know that you burst into Chan’s room immediately after, plunging face first into his bed just to scream into his pillows. Chan had sighed, turned around in his desk chair to look at you, then asked what happened. He gave you two minutes to rant and then kicked you out, back to your own room.)

You and Minghao agreed to meet at the library on a day that neither of you had any afternoon classes, and you get there early, spend some time working on other classes. You have somewhere around thirty minutes to freak out to yourself before you see Minghao come in, dressed like he knows what he’s doing to you (which is really just a hoodie and jeans, but you think it’s the cap that really pulls the whole boyfriend look together), smiling when he finds you at a table in the corner.

“How are you?” is the first thing he says when he sits down, and you pull down your laptop screen a little to see him better.

“I’m good,” you say, feeling your heart pound. “What about you?”

Minghao sends you a kind smile. “Really good. Should we get started?”

You lose count of how many times you see him after that.

Meeting up to work on the project soon becomes just meeting up, and after the project’s done and turned in, it happens even more. You hang out and get lunch, send each other texts and stupid videos, take walks around campus together. The weeks pass, summer mellows into fall, then into the early days of winter. You develop a genuine friendship with him, finding comfort in his presence, looking for him wherever you go. 

(Although the crush is still there, potent and patient, stubborn in a way you’ve never experienced before. You wonder if it’s a sign of some sort.)

You’re in one of the practice rooms with him, sitting in the corner. You had a class nearby and he’d wanted to practice a little more, so you told him you’d work on your own stuff while he finished up and then the two of you could grab something to eat.

But you made a small error on your part - the dancing. You’d forgotten the way he moves (you haven’t seen him dance since that first time) and in no time at all you’re letting your screen go dark in front of you and watching him. Honestly, it’s not your fault, you really can’t help it. 

But of course he notices.

Minghao meets your eyes through the mirror and raises his eyebrows at you, and all you can do is look away, desperately try to get your laptop up and running again so at least it seems like you weren’t watching him for too long.

“You’re staring,” he says, long after you’ve looked away.

“Sorry,” you tell him anyways, immediate, quick. 

Then he says, “I never said anything about stopping.”

In a second, you look up from your laptop and up at him. He moves closer, crouches in front of you. His eyes are kind - they’re never not - but you think you see something a little more in them. “Sorry, I think I missed that last part,” you respond, blinking. Minghao smiles like you’re endearing.

“I said I want you to keep looking at me.”

You think you’re barely breathing when he shuts your laptop for you, slides it off of your lap and onto the floor (gently, with care, and it’s a wonder to you how he can focus on that right now). He practically crawls over you, one of his hands eventually reaching the junction of your jaw and neck and holding there. “I’m gonna kiss you now, if that’s okay,” he says, but doesn’t move. You nod as soon as his words reach your brain, eager and quick.

And the next few hours get a little wound up in your head, a little mixed in with the feeling of his body - that moves so youthfully, with so much vibrancy that it reaches everything around you - melting into yours and the sound of him asking you to tell me what you need, honey, and the still-playing slow jam music he was practicing to.

You watch him sleep next to you, hand curled around yours against his pillows, and think that nothing bad could ever touch him.

The two of you… come together, after that.

Neither you nor Minghao use any proper labels, but you both seem to know. No labels are needed, really. You have each other and that’s all there is to it. And everything is really good.

You work together and laugh together like you’ve always known each other. He tries to teach you to dance with him when you’re in the practice room with him, pulls you up by your hands and guides you through your giggles. He was the first person you called when you realized that you had no idea what you were working towards, didn’t have a clue what you actually wanted to do with your life. He gets along well with your friends and you text his because they’re basically yours, now, too.

Winter turns back into spring, slow and easy. Vibrant and youthful. You’re not able to meet Minghao’s parents, but he meets yours (and you’re sure a quick introduction to his mom over a FaceTime call has to count for something). The two of you take advantage of the newfound warmth of the season and try to get out as much as you’re able to, with picnics and city dates and anything you can think of. A drawer in his dresser is reserved for your things, you bought an extra toothbrush for him to use when he stays over.

You watch him dance. It still feels like the first time, like color and breathlessness. You tell him he’s beautiful every time, feel yourself fall a little deeper when he still gets bashful amidst his comedown. You tell him you love him for the first time after he gets done with a performance - a proper one, for a showcase of the dance club he’s in. He says it back.

You think he put all the stars in the sky just for the two of you to gaze at them together.

Things shift the beginning of your junior year.

Minghao tells you about a program he’s applying to, a proper dance academy in New York that could really kickstart his career. Training under some of the best choreographers and performers in the world.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” You ask him after he tells you, and he shrugs, leaning back in his chair. You’re studying at his apartment tonight.

“It’s just…” he frowns. “It’s so far away, you know?”

Oh. You hadn’t even thought about that, too caught up in the excitement of him being able to apply at all. A quick sigh leaves your lips, and then you reach for his hand, hold it between both of your own.

“That’s okay,” you tell him, though now that you’re thinking about it, you feel nervousness in the pit of your stomach. “We can work something out, though, when we get that far. We’ll figure it out.”

Minghao nods, a fond look in his eyes. He pulls one of your hands to his lips. “We’ll think about it if I even get accepted,” he says.

It’s bittersweet, but a promise nonetheless.

Fifteen minutes after you get a call from Minghao, there’s a knock on your door. 

You wouldn’t necessarily say you’re worried, but, well. Everyone’s experienced the jump of anxiety when they get hit with the “I want to talk to you about something” line. Nonetheless, you stand from the couch to open the door, mentally preparing yourself for any and everything. 

“Hey,” you greet when you see Minghao, opening the door to let him in. His face is unreadable. “Everything okay?”

He walks a few steps into your apartment, waits for you to close the door before turning back around to face you. Then he holds up a piece of paper, the creases from where it was folded still bending. You send him a confused look.

“I got in,” he says, a grin breaking on his face, and you blink, then feel your jaw practically hit the floor. Minghao only nods like he understands, and before you know what you’re doing, you launch yourself at him, holding him close.

“Oh my god, Hao, that’s amazing,” you say into his sweater, then step back to get a proper look at him. Youthful, vibrant. “I’m so proud of you.”

He seems to soften at your words, pulls you back into him again with a gentle kiss to your head. “Thank you for believing in me,” he tells you, tenderness palpable in his voice. All you can do is squeeze him tighter.

Minghao spends a lot of time away from you after that.

You’re not really hurt in any way - even though he got into the academy in New York, he still has to practice. You get it, this is important. He doesn’t text you as often, isn’t able to stop by as much, and you miss him, but you know how much this means for him. But it gets… weird, almost, after a while. Strange, even for him. It feels weird that he’s set to leave at the end of January and it’s December and he’s distant.

Both of you are laying in your bed, looking at the glow-in-the-dark stars on your ceiling, when you decide to bring it up. “You’ve been… kinda far away lately,” you start, nudging him with your shoulder gently. “Everything okay?”

His eyes stay on your ceiling, but you feel the way he sighs. “It’s about the program,” he says.

“Okay.”

“And about… you and me.”

Oh. That doesn’t… sound the best. “About, like… what we’re gonna do?”

Minghao nods.

You say, “I wouldn’t mind visiting every so often. It’d be hard, but I’m sure we could find something to work.”

Minghao shakes his head, says, “no.”

You pause, and when you look at him he’s already looking at you. What does he mean by no? Does he want you to move with him? Or does he -

He reaches for your hand and you think oh.

His eyes are a little glassy. You feel the tears come, too.

“Oh,” you say out loud. Minghao squeezes your hand. “So this is… this is it?”

Your room is suddenly cold, and you want to crawl under the covers and stay there. The person in front of you is blurred into something unrecognizable, but you can’t be bothered to blink away your tears.

“I think so, love,” he whispers back to you. “I think it has to be.”

The two of you cry like that for a while. In your bed, loosely intertwined and broken. Even the way Minghao cries carries a kind of vibrancy that’s overwhelming, makes you think of the first time you saw him so long ago, and now -

When you manage to get a better grip on yourself, you ask him if you can still see him off at the airport. He says, “I don’t know what I’d do if you didn’t.”

Then you ask if you can kiss him again. He responds by kissing you first. 

And it’s sad, it tastes like salt and sorrow and you feel like the promises you never got the chance to make are broken. It feels like the most beautiful blue you’ve ever seen, and you know it’s only a branch of Minghao’s color.

He leaves soon after that, pulls on his shoes and his coat and turns around at the door to give you a tired smile. After he’s gone, you drag yourself to Chan’s bedroom, and once he sees the state you’re in, he offers up one side of his bed. Neither of you say anything, but the friendly reassurance of his hand in yours says enough.

You don’t fail to notice that everything seems to be washed out, a blandness you’re not used to.

The last time you see him is at the airport.

It’s a cold day, despite being sunny. The airport offers little warmth, but you figure it doesn’t matter. You won’t be here for long. 

It doesn’t take you very long to find Minghao - you still look for him wherever you go, even if you’re not looking for him. Even then, it’s still so easy for you to find him, to pinpoint that vibrancy, that youth. He’s talking to a few others, you think you met them. Soonyoung and Jun.

Minghao meets your eyes and you freeze, but then he waves you over with a gentle smile. You follow like you think you always will. 

You greet Soonyoung and Jun and the four of you talk, albeit a little awkwardly, even when Soonyoung tries his hardest to lighten the mood. Eventually he has to leave, and Jun follows with a shy goodbye. They both hug Minghao before they go.

You’re not sure what to say, but after a minute, you find words. “I don’t know what I’ll do without you,” you tell him, a little selfishly. 

Minghao says, “you’ll do good. I know you will. I’m not worried about you.”

He pulls his phone out of his pocket to check the time, and you think he’ll give you a stiff and sad goodbye, but he steps a little closer to you. Looks at you the way he used to.

“Maybe…” he starts, then pauses. “Maybe we’ll meet again.”

Maybe, you think. Maybe.

“I hope so,” you tell him, then watch as he leaves.

[rkived]

━ CHASING PAVEMENTS 03 | JJK

↳ PAIRING: dad!jk/married!jk/bff!jk x reader 

↳ GENRE/TAGS: f2l, angst, unrequited feelings, cheating, future smut

↳ WARNINGS: (for this chapter) time jumps, mention of divorce, blood mention ((but like nothing serious)), forced kisses, just sad stuff like this is sad guys lol

↳ WORD COUNT: 8.6k

↳ EXCERPT: ‘‘Jungkook doesn’t want to think this is the end, maybe it’s that stupid voice inside his head that always holds on to things that he knows he should let go of. But he can’t just let go of this and move on. He doesn’t remember what life was like before you and he sure as hell does not want to know what it’ll be like without you.’’

↳ A/N: getting this chapter out has been ((a pain in the ass)) tough !! & cp was supposed to end with this chapter but that was not realistic at all lmao but i do hope u like this n i’ll try to get pt4 quickly as possible <3 thx

01 | 02 | 03 | 04 

‘‘Okay everyone, let’s switch to the upward facing dog!’’

You really don’t want to be here. There’s a lot of stuff running through your head right now that are more important than focusing on yoga positions. You wish you were thinking about grocery shopping or paying that month’s bills. 

Instead, you’re still stuck on the downward facing dog as your mind tells you you’re an idiot, a homewrecker and most importantly, a terrible friend. 

‘‘Y/N, upward facing dog!’’ The instructor, Namjoon, reminds you with a gentle smile as he notices you haven’t switched positions like the rest of the class. You nod and smoothly place your body as he had taught in the classes before.

The only reason why you came to your Saturday morning yoga class was because even with all that happened last night, you wanted to feel a sense of normality. Like you’re capable of going on about your life like nothing had happened.

That’s selfish and stupid because as much as you tried, every single moment since you woke up revolved around last night.

From the moment you opened your eyes, noticing Sunhi wasn’t sleeping next to you, snuggled into your chest like you had last remembered her to be before she fell asleep and you following soon after. 

And as your heart beat faster at the thought of finding her in her dad’s arms instead, watching Saturday morning cartoons on the T.V in your living room; you instead found the place neat and tidy. The messy pillows on your couch where placed like they hadn’t even been moved to begin with, like no one besides you had been in the apartment the night before. 

Somehow he managed to do all of this without you even noticing. You wondered at what time he woke up, cleaned up, took Sunhi without making any fuss and left, all before your 7 AM alarm could wake you up.

He even made you breakfast too. Some eggs, bacon and toast. 

‘‘Y/N, your legs are touching the mat.’’ Namjoon notes as he stands in front of you, ‘‘Let’s focus, okay?’’

You nod once again, though this time a little more embarrassed. If only you could explain to your instructor why you’re so distracted. 

No messages either. No text explaining why he had to leave so early. No sticky note placed on your fridge door about how he made you breakfast. No slight shake to your sleeping body to let you know that he’d be taking Sunhi. Nothing. 

Would’ve you liked that, though? 

You could say yes because he’s your friend and it’s only fair since you took care of his daughter the night before. 

But it’s not right, because friends don’t kiss each other, let alone the way you had let him kiss you and touch you while his daughter slept in your room and his wife waited for both of them at home.

There was a war going on inside you between your brain and your heart. 

Your heart, being a weak ass bitch, was telling you about how exciting everything was. How nice it felt to have Jungkook tell you that he wanted to be with you, that he no longer felt happy with his wife, how perfectly his lips encaptured your own and how you could still feel them on you. 

But your brain, obviously being the logical one between the two, reminded you about how wrong it was. You had never wanted to be placed in a position of being ‘‘the other woman’’. That even though you might not like Jiwoo and had spent years hoping your friend would someday wake up and realize this too, this didn’t feel right. 

‘‘Alright, let’s drink some water now.’’ Namjoon announces, clasping his hands together and showing off that dimple that most ─if not all─ of the students went heart eyes over. 

You take the time to check your phone instead, you don’t need the water because you didn’t do shit anyway. There’s no text from Minji, who you’re scared will somehow, by the grace of everything that’s holy, find out about what you did. No text from Jungkook either and you’re wondering why he hasn’t bothered to send one. 

Instead, there’s a text from Taehyung and you mutter a curse. 

[8:34 AM] Taehyung: hey y/n! i’m sure you’re in your yoga class rn but i wanted to see if maybe you’d be up for lunch at my place? i’ll try and cook something nice :) 

Ah, of course that throughout all of this you forgot about Taehyung. 

The sweet guy who had stuck around only for you to pay him back by kissing your best friend, the one Taehyung had to pretend wasn’t bothered by his interruption that night a few weeks ago. 

God, you do have a way to fuck things up for yourself. 

You don’t know how long you stood there thinking what to reply to him, but it definitely was for a few minutes because you only came back to reality once you heard your name being called once by the instructor.

‘‘Y/N,’’ Namjoon repeats and you look over at him with a puzzled look, ‘‘we’re starting again, if you’d like to join us.’’ There’s that smile again. Bless his patience, you wonder if he’s actually this calm because of yoga or he’s just really good at pretending. 

You look back down at your phone, the screen displaying a text that’s still waiting to be replied to. 

‘‘I uhm─I gotta go, sorry.’’ You quickly reply, making Namjoon look at you with wide eyes, but he makes no effort to stop you either. 

And as quickly as you can, you collect your belongings before you’re heading out the door without saying goodbye. 

Either you quit yoga altogether or just apologize to Namjoon like a grownup next Saturday. Whatever it is, you’re not thinking about what decision to make about your little extracurricular right now. 

There’s only so much you can handle at a time.

Jungkook is lucky that Jiwoo works Saturday mornings because with her away, he’s able to enter his house without having to sneak in. 

He opens the door wide, making way for him and a slightly awake Sunhi in his arms. He drops the keys on the counter without caring about the noise it makes. He doesn’t even have to pretend like he’s walking on glass, his boots are allowed to hit the wooden floor without a care in the world. 

The place doesn’t look much different from what he had left it like the day before. There’s only a dirty glass on the sink, a product of Jiwoo’s daily breakfast smoothies and since she’s always in a rush she never has time to clean it up. 

‘‘Are you still sleepy, pumpkin?’’ he quietly asks his daughter and she nods, he doesn’t blame her since he’s the one who woke her up at 6 AM. ‘‘Alright, I’ll take you to your bed,” he says, a kiss on her head following shortly after. 

He wonders if Jiwoo enjoyed herself last night. No daughter and no husband, sounds like an ideal night for her. It’s not like she was worried about their whereabouts either, considering she hadn’t even bothered to text him wondering why they hadn’t come home. 

If Jungkook’s supposed to feel guilty, he isn’t. 

He’s heard stories before about how there’s a voice in your head constantly reminding you about what you did and how wrong it is. That he’ll be unable to sleep knowing he cheated on his wife while she lies next to him. That he won’t be able to look at her again without feeling remorse all over him.

And when Jiwoo returns home at noon, there’s none of that at all. He offers her a nod of acknowledgement once she enters the living room to find him sitting with his laptop, watching through old videos that he took years back. 

She puts her index finger up, telling him to give her a minute. She’s on a phone call with a friend of hers that Jungkook can only conclude is Hyeri, who he probably met at some point but can’t remember what her face looked like. 

‘‘I know! Like, why do you have to be such a bitch about it? We get that you’re sucking the boss’s dick in private, so you might as well─’’

Jiwoo’s voice is too distracting and so, Jungkook places his earphones in to hear what this video’s audio is about. Once he does, he hits play and the audio is loud enough to drown out Jiwoo’s whining. 

‘‘Guess who came to see you, Pumpkin?’’ 

Jungkook gasps as he remembers this was part of a series of videos he was supposed to show Sunhi once she was old enough to understand them. He recorded a few until he was drowning in work to even grab his camera again. It saddens him that he wasn’t able to continue.

He decides he’ll show them to her later because right now Sunhi is too busy playing with her dolls inside her room to even pay attention to him.

‘‘It’s auntie Y/N! And she came bearing gifts,’’ Jungkook smiles, switching the focus on you ‘‘is that a Fisher Price Taco Tuesday toy set that I see?’’ he wonders in a fake curious tone as you look at him with narrowed eyes ‘‘I wonder how she knew you wanted that, Sunhi. It’s not like your dad had it on his Amazon wishlist or anything.’’

‘‘Very funny.’’ You mumble, handing him the toys so you could go ahead and grab a tiny three-month-old Sunhi from the bed ‘‘Aren’t you the cutest little bean in this entire world? Aren’t you?’’ you coo at the little girl, who looks at you with wide eyes and you’re forced to blink a couple of times because she looks just like him. 

‘‘Of course she is, she’s my spitting image!’’ Jungkook confirms your thought as he grabs Sunhi’s cheek gently with his fingers and squeezes, making the baby giggle.

You side-eye him and then focus your attention back on the baby in your hands, ‘‘No, you’re not, Sunhi. Your daddy is not cute at all.’’ 

‘‘You’re gonna make me put this camera down and have a discussion about this.’’ 

Jungkook chuckles at the footage, noticing how he made you smile because of his comment. The video isn’t long, it’s mostly you cooing to a then tiny Sunhi, giggling at the way you would nuzzle your nose into her belly as Jungkook laughed behind the camera. 

‘‘Jungkook, look at her!’’ You practically squeal as Sunhi grabs your thumb with her little hand ‘‘Oh my gosh, I think I’m gonna cry.’’ 

He laughs as he does a close-up of his daughter holding on to your finger, until he hears the little sniffle you let out and the camera is now focused on you silently wiping a tear away. 

‘‘Wait, you’re actually crying?’’ Jungkook asks in disbelief and you turn to look at him to find the lens focused on you ‘‘Sunhi, you’re Auntie Y/N loves you so much that she’s crying! How cute.’’ 

‘‘You’re so dumb, seriously.’’ you mumble with a frown, going back to gawking at the baby still holding on to your thumb. 

Jungkook sighs, ‘‘I’m gonna have to bleep that out, y’know?’’

You laugh and shrug your shoulders, caressing Sunhi’s stomach. Jungkook whispers ‘cute’, so soft that you’re unable to hear it.

Once it ends, Jungkook is able to see his smiling face as it reflects on the black screen and it’s only then he realized he’d been grinning the whole time. Now his ears are filled with Jiwoo talking over the phone and his smile goes back to a straight line. 

Jungkook closes the video and clicks on the next one, hoping that it’s one that involves you as well. He’s unable to press play because Jiwoo is suddenly standing in front of him, arms crossed and she’s no longer talking on her phone. 

‘‘Yes?’’ He asks, removing an earbud to show her she has his full attention.

‘‘So, where were you last night?’’ 

Jungkook’s slightly surprised that she cares. He tends to forget there’s still some humanity left in her after all, ‘‘At Y/N’s.’’ he answers with a shrug, eyes going back to stare at the screen of his laptop. 

Jiwoo scoffs and he’s forced to look at her again, eyebrow slightly raised. He hopes she doesn’t start because it’s too early and it’s a Saturday. But Jiwoo doesn’t like taking breaks like he does.

‘‘I thought you said that she wasn’t going to be able to take care of Sunhi on Fridays.’’ There’s bitterness in her tone, ‘‘so, what were you doing there?’’ 

Jungkook understands where Jiwoo’s curiosity comes from, but it’s strange. She’s never been the type to ask where he’s been, what he’s doing with Sunhi while she’s not around ─which is practically all the time─ and doesn’t care for your business either. 

‘‘I just stopped by.’’ Jungkook mutters, stroking the nape of his neck in an attempt to not seem suspicious, ‘‘We hung out and Sunhi fell asleep, she didn’t wanna come back home.’’ 

And that’s true, Jiwoo narrows her eyes at him as if she’s debating whether or not to believe him and the excuse of their sleeping daughter. She doesn’t know Sunhi that well to conclude if it’s possible or not. 

‘‘And what, did you all three sleep together in the same bed? Playing family, maybe?’’ 

Jungkook looks at her in disbelief. This is a first. 

‘‘What?’’ Is all he’s able to muster because he’s genuinely shocked at her accusation. 

Jiwoo rolls her eyes, ‘‘Oh, please. Like I’m going to buy that hanging out bullshit.’’ Jungkook looks like a deer stuck in headlights and she chuckles, ‘‘Is what I give to you not enough?’’ 

‘‘I─what are you on about?’’ 

He figures this is her picking a fight because he wasn’t around yesterday to attend her needs like he usually does every Friday night. But Jungkook’s mind is quick to remind him of what he did and it’d be really ironic if he denies Jiwoo’s accusations, that for the first time are actually true. 

‘‘I carried around that girl for nine months, ruined my body because of her, all for you to pick someone else over me?’’ Jiwoo’s voice is raised a little higher and Jungkook can’t help but look over at Sunhi’s bedroom door and hope his daughter is not listening to anything coming from the living room. ‘‘I knew I should’ve never trusted her, I always knew your friendship with her was fucking weird.’’

Jungkook doesn’t want to raise his voice either. It’s not going to get them anywhere. But he can’t stand the way she’s speaking about his daughter and you, she’s never crossed those boundaries before. 

‘‘Are you insane? How can you talk about your daughter like she’s nothing?’’ Jungkook spats out, ‘‘I’ve always been thankful for what you did, I know the shit you went through to bring her into this world.’’ 

But Jiwoo doesn’t care about how loud she’s being, ‘‘You’re so thankful you pay me back by fucking your best friend? While I’m alone over here waiting for you to come back?’’

Jungkook has to take a deep breath and close his eyes for a second, before he loses it. 

He clears his throat, ‘‘Jiwoo, I have always chosen you. Always. I did back when I was a sophomore, I did it when I asked you to marry me, and I did it when I chose you to be the mother of my children. So, I don’t know what─’’

‘‘I don’t give a flying fuck if you chose me! I was supposed to be all of that either way, Jungkook.’’ She interjects.

Was she, though? Of course, she was his girlfriend then. It would make sense that she’d be the one to end up marrying him, having his kids and living the happy life everyone guaranteed he’d live alongside her. 

But he hasn’t been thinking about the choices he ended up taking back then. Instead, he’s been wondering about the ‘what if’s and Jiwoo isn’t in any of them. 

Jungkook’s been daydreaming for months now about how different his life would’ve turned out if he had never asked the pretty girl in his class all those years back and instead had focused his attention somewhere else. Or someone else.. 

‘‘Are you going to answer me?’’ Jiwoo’s stern voice brings him back to the reality he hates, ‘‘Were you going to pick me or was I a second choice?’’ She slowly asks, giving him an opportunity to digest every single word she spoke. 

‘‘You weren’t a second choice,’’ he mumbles and his gaze has faltered and instead focused back on the screen of his laptop. Clicking on a video randomly, trying to distract himself from the situation at hand. Hoping that whatever he says is enough for Jiwoo to leave him alone. 

It doesn’t help that the video automatically plays and it’s you on the first frame, a big smile as you hold Sunhi towards the camera, making her wiggle in your arms. 

What if. 

‘‘Show me that you love me, then.’’

The video still plays as Jungkook looks back at Jiwoo standing right in front of him, her arms are still crossed, but the look on her face is different. Her brows are no longer furrowed and Jungkook might be wrong, but he thinks her eyes look glossy. 

He doesn’t act quickly enough and she takes the laptop from him, closing it before she can even notice what is it that has garnered his attention. Jiwoo straddles his lap and he jumps slightly at the action, placing her arms around his neck as she looks at him with innocent eyes. 

If he didn’t know her, he would’ve believed them. 

‘‘Jiwoo, let’s not─’’ 

‘‘I missed you yesterday,’’ she interjects in a whisper ‘‘show me that you love me right now.’’ 

Her lips latch onto his neck, biting and sucking on the skin as he tries to wriggle himself out of her hold, but her hands push at his chest so he can stay still. 

‘‘C’mon,’’ she mumbles ‘‘show me.’’ She’s pleading by then.

He feels nothing. There’s no electricity in Jiwoo’s kisses. No tingles on his back, no goosebumps on his skin, no fireworks going off. If anything, everytime her lips meet his skin it feels bitter, like they don’t belong there at all. 

‘‘Daddy, come please!’’ The muffled voice of Sunhi inside her room interrupts the one-sided moment and Jungkook is silently thanking her. 

Jiwoo doesn’t make an effort to move as she keeps kissing on all the exposed skin he has to offer. Jungkook sighs in frustration as he forces her off him, making her land beside him with an astonished expression.

Her hands tighten into fists as she looks at him like he’s gone insane, ‘‘What the fuck is wrong with you?’’ She asks in disbelief.

Jungkook blinks, ‘‘Did you─?’’ He gestures with his finger over to his daughter’s room, ‘‘Sunhi is calling me.’’ 

His wife scoffs, crossing her arms over her chest again, ‘‘Of course, you always go running when it comes to her.’’ 

Contrary to his belief, there is no humanity left in Jiwoo at all. She’s just really good at pretending like she cares so she can get her way. This is the last time Jungkook falls for this trick.

Jungkook opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. He repeats this action a few times, to stammer something out. Anything. But there’s nothing besides the expecting silence of his wife as she chuckles incredulously. Jungkook ignores this and turns around, a second away from opening Sunhi’s bedroom door─

‘‘You’re a waste of a husband.’’ Jiwoo sneered. 

His hand drops from the door handle and he sighs, taking a deep breath in and out.

He looks back at her, ‘‘You know what, Jiwoo? I wasn’t lying when I said you weren’t my second choice.’’ he informs and her eyebrow raises up ‘‘But you aren’t my first choice now either.’’

Jiwoo scowls and heaves in anger, ready to let hell loose on him ‘‘I knew that who─’’

‘‘It’s Sunhi,’’ he states and Jiwoo closes her mouth before she can even finish her sentence. ‘‘Ever since I knew you were pregnant with her, she’s been at the top of my list and she’ll always be there. I don’t care what you do or say to me, I really don’t. You don’t love me, Jiwoo.’’

At the accusation, her eyes soften and she’s standing up to argue that it’s not true, but Jungkook raises his hand in a motion to stop her. 

‘‘You don’t love me and I don’t love you.’’ 

Jungkook expected her to start yelling at him like she usually did, but Jiwoo’s rendered speechless on her spot as she stares at him, blinking rapidly. 

‘‘I don’t love you,’’ he repeats ‘‘and I haven’t loved you for a while now. I don’t remember the last time my heart raced up when I saw you or when I stopped enjoying kissing you. And I’m sorry, because I should’ve told you instead of pretending like I did.’’ 

Jiwoo’s motionless as she takes all of his words in. 

‘‘But I did it for her because I didn’t want her to hate me if you ever left. But that was a dumb idea because you don’t care about Sunhi. And frankly, I doubt she cares about you either. She never speaks about you, never asks about you, she’s used to you not being here even if you sort of are.’’ 

Jungkook places his hand over the doorknob once again and Jiwoo grimaces.

‘‘I should’ve never begged you to come back. I should’ve thought about what you wanted and it’s always been clear to me what that is,’’ Jungkook swallows the knot he feels in his throat ‘‘and it’s never been Sunhi or me.’’

‘‘Jungkook.’’

He thinks she’s about to tell him how sorry she is. That she’ll recognize how heartless she’s been and how she not only failed him, but failed their daughter too. Maybe beg for a final try at their relationship as she promises she’ll change this time. 

Jungkook hums and spares her one last glance.

Jiwoo has a stoic expression on her face and she speaks under her breath, but clear enough for him to hear, ‘‘Sign the papers when you get them.’’

You expect Minji to just jump at you any minute now because if looks could kill, you’d be dead already. Maybe you should’ve pretended like you weren’t home and let Minji knock on your door until she’d give up, but even you knew better than that. 

It was better to face her now than to deal with her accumulated wrath later.

‘‘When were you going to tell me?’’ She suddenly asks and it takes you by surprise because it had been way too silent since you had let her in.

Minji works like a predator, she attacks when you least expect it and right now you definitely feel like you’re about to be eaten. 

‘‘I─uh…’’ 

She sighs and you can see the disappointment in her face, ‘‘Were you going to tell me at all?’’ 

You nod instead, not trusting yourself enough to speak at the moment. 

It had been a week since the event in your living room and it makes you shift uncomfortably in your chair as you stare at your friend, who’s sitting on the couch where everything went down. 

‘‘Then why did I have to find out through Taehyung?’’ She asks in a disappointed tone. 

You figured he’d tell her. It’s not like you asked him not to do so, but you had silently prayed that the universe was on your side on this one and by some unknown reason they wouldn’t bump into each other at work and Minji, like she usually did, wouldn’t ask him about you. Because if she did, then he’d have to explain how you had broken the news that you had made out with your best friend; the one Minji despised with her soul. 

A sigh escapes your lips as you lower your head with shame.

You were supposed to tell her, but every time you took your phone and tried to dial or text her, your nerves got the best of you and ended up chickening out, promising that you’d do it the next day. Then the next day. And the next day. 

It’s not like you’re scared of Minji─well, maybe only slightly. But you know the effort she put into getting you to go out and meet someone new, someone that’s not married and not a father. She’s known Taehyung for so long, probably even told him how much of a good girl you were to convince him to take you out, only for you to end up throwing all of that in the trash like it was nothing. 

Minji’s also spent years pushing you to move on from your friendship with Jungkook. Not just because she doesn’t like him, but because she’s always felt like he’s held you back while he’s made his way in life. You’ve stuck behind him making sure that he’s okay and happy, forgetting about yourself in the process. 

‘‘I’m not angry at you,’’ she speaks softly, making you look up at her with surprise. ‘‘I just─He gave you a second chance, Y/N. Why did you say no?’’ Her words are laced with curiosity and you know that she’s asking because even Taehyung wasn’t able to give her an answer to this question. 

Your bottom lip trembles and you’re trying your hardest not to burst into tears in front of him. You can’t and you won’t. How even dare you to do that? 

‘‘I’m sorry,’’ you whisper and your eyes shift down to the wooden floor of his apartment. ‘‘I’m sorry, Taehyung.’’ You repeat, knowing it’s not enough.

Taehyung gulps and his crossed arms quickly fall to his sides as he realizes that, whatever anger he felt when you told him about what you did, was no longer there the moment he saw how genuinely apologetic you looked. 

‘‘I’m an idiot, I know.’’ You continue, rubbing your clammy hands into the material of your leggings and it does nothing to dry them. ‘‘I’m sorry, Taehyung.’’

He knows he shouldn't be so easily swayed by your apology, but he can’t help but want to cradle you in his arms. And when he does, your eyebrows raise in surprise as you gasp because you weren’t expecting this. 

You expected anger, insults thrown out about how you’re a slut and being kicked out of his apartment with him telling you to never contact him again. 

Taehyung’s still sweet even when his heart is getting broken. 

‘‘It’s okay,’’ he whispers into your hair as one of his hands runs up and down your back ‘‘we can work this out, yeah?’’ 

You bite the tip of your tongue as you take his words in, feeling your heart speeding up even faster than what it was when you spilled everything out on him. Maybe you would’ve preferred him getting angry than his current reaction.

‘‘It’s not like we were exclusive, right?’’ Taehyung chuckles, but it feels like he’s convincing himself that that was the reason as to why it happened. ‘‘Let’s forget it, seriously.’’

A shaky sigh comes out of your mouth as your arms, that hadn’t reciprocated his hug, gain the strength to separate yourself from him. He looks taken aback, but he’s waiting for you to reply in agreement because, yes, you could work this out if you try hard enough. 

But that’s not realistic. Pretending like you never kissed Jungkook is not realistic at all, because it’s sad to admit that you won’t be able to kiss Taehyung again without thinking about your best friend in the back of your head as you’re reminded that not only did you let him kiss you, but you reciprocated and not only did you reciprocate, but you liked it a little too much. 

‘‘Y/N,’’ he speaks up, snapping you from your thoughts,‘‘please, let’s just try.’’ He silently asks─no, begs. 

The barking of his dog, Yeontan, startles you as you come to stare at the little dog at the feet of his owner, who at the moment isn’t interested to see what he wants. You never told Taehyung, but the teacup pomeranian was extremely overprotective of him. 

He’s barking at you like you’re hurting his owner and maybe you aren’t physically doing any damage, but you know that you’re about to break his heart all over again.

‘‘I-I…,’’ you blink as you try to focus on the man in front of you and not the dog on the ground, ‘‘I’m sorry, I can’t.’’ 

Yeontan’s barks increase and Taehyung is at a loss for words to beg you to stay and talk things through. You can still hear the dog’s incessant barking as you make your way down the hall and that’s when the tears you were holding finally fall down. 

‘‘Taehyung’s a nice guy, Y/N. He forgave you and you just left?’’ Minji asks, disbelief in her tone. ‘‘I thought you liked him.’’

‘‘I do!’’ You finally speak up. You’re sure of it, you like Taehyung. Your friend gives you a puzzled look because she really can’t understand you right now. ‘‘I like Taehyung, I really do,’’ you mutter, ‘‘but it’s not fair to him.’’ 

Minji scrunches her face up because there’s only one reason you’re thinking that way. She’s tired of this narrative, it’s old and overdone and it should’ve ended years ago.

She lets out a breathless chuckle, ‘‘You love him, don’t you?’’ Another question that takes you by surprise.

‘‘No, I just─’’

Minji holds her finger up, interrupting you, ‘‘I’m talking about Jungkook.’’ 

This is the attack. Not the other questions she had asked you regarding her old family friend. Not the unannounced arrival to your apartment on an uneventful Saturday morning where you had chosen to stay in bed instead of facing the peaceful yoga instructor. Not the glaring looks she had been giving you for the last minutes.

And if you weren’t ready for any of those, this one definitely takes the prize. 

‘‘I-I of course I love him,’’ you mumble, ‘‘he’s my friend.’’

Minji smirks as her eyebrows raise, ‘‘No, I’m asking if you’re in love him.’’ 

You’re sure that the feelings that you’ve had for Jungkook have always been platonic. You do love him because he’s your friend and you’re supposed to love your friends. But you know that the love that you have for him is very different from the one you have for anyone else. It might be the history between you two. You’ve been with him through it all, cheering from the sidelines as he accomplishes one milestone after the other. 

‘‘Be honest with me,’’ Minji demands, ‘‘are you in love with Jungkook?’’ she asks once again.

Your eyes well up and your bottom lip is trembling as you look back at your intimidating best friend because your silence is deafening and you’re expecting her to throw the last blow. You think you deserve it. Minji has so much she wants to say, but you look so dejected and she figures that you might’ve just realized it. 

‘‘Hey, it’s okay.’’ She comes up to you quickly, crouching down as she looks up at the tears rolling down your reddened cheeks. ‘‘Y/N, it’s okay.’’ 

You’ve been trying to tell yourself the same thing the past few days. 

It’s okay that you kissed your best friend. It’s okay that you’ve slowly and silently started harbouring feelings for him. It’s okay that you just realized you’ve been in love with him for a while now. It’s okay that you’ve been resenting the fact that he didn’t choose you all those years ago. It’s okay that you take care of and love his daughter like she’s yours. 

But...

‘‘No, it’s not.’’ You cry, ‘‘I can’t do that, Minji, he’s not mine to have.’’ 

Your mind quickly brings you back to the harsh reality, which is that Jungkook will never be yours. He probably only kissed you because he was looking for something that was capable of exciting him again after realizing how bored of his marriage he is. He doesn’t love you like that, he’ll never love you like that.

Minji can’t disagree with what you just said, but she also feels like right now is not the time to make you feel even worse when it’s obvious you’re already there. 

‘‘I blocked his number, anyway.’’ You mumble out, wiping away your tears. 

Your friend’s eyes widened at the revelation, ‘‘What?’’. 

‘‘I freaked out after I talked to Taehyung because I felt so guilty and you know how I don’t know how to deal with shit ever, so I just─’’ You stop yourself from rambling and sigh as you feel Minji’s hand squeezing your knee as a sign of comfort, ‘‘I can’t see him again without thinking about it. I can’t take care of Sunhi knowing he’s going home to sleep with Jiwoo. I just can’t keep pretending anymore.’’ 

Minji can’t do much after that, you’ve become a sobbing mess and the tears seem unstoppable. She’s never seen you like this and it dawns on her that you’ve held all of this in for way too long. 

It’s ironic because she’s always told you that you need space from Jungkook, thinking it’d be good for you to finally realize that you’re not part of his list of priorities anymore and hadn’t been for a long time. 

But she hadn’t taken into account what the after effects of not having him in your life anymore would look like.

[12:03 PM] Jeon Jungkook: hi y/n 

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[12:04 PM] Jeon Jungkook: hey???

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[12:07 PM] Jeon Jungkook: i wanted to see if you’d like to meet up for lunch one of these days? i feel like we need to talk 

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[5:13 PM] Jeon Jungkook: does this work now??

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Jungkook groans in annoyance as he finds another one of his texts left undelivered. It feels like life is either against him or doing this for his own good. 

Nonetheless, he wants to talk to you because it’s been a few days since he last saw and heard from you. He figures you’re mad, the last words you spoke to him didn’t sound friendly at all and he wonders if maybe leaving without saying goodbye that day was the right thing to do. 

The small snores coming from beside him make him realize Sunhi is finally asleep and he can’t help but let out a sigh of disappointment as he watches her curl into a fetal like position, clutching her Dumbo plush toy and slightly drooling into his favorite pillow, making him pout because he knows he won’t be able to pry it away from her when he decides to fall asleep too. 

Sunhi being fast asleep is supposed to bring peace to Jungkook’s tiring day, though the silence is extremely uncomfortable and these days he’s come to realize how much he rather have his daughter running around and yelling in excitement than this.

Complete and utter silence.

[7:13 PM] Jeon Jungkook: (1.jpg attached) sunhi misses auntie y/n!! she’s been asking me about you a lot 

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[7:15 PM] Jeon Jungkook: i miss auntie y/n more tho…

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[7:17 PM] Jeon Jungkook: i hope ur alright :)

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‘‘Pumpkin, you can stop smiling already.’’ Jungkook chuckles as he looks up from his phone, noticing his daughter still holding the big smile he had given him when he requested to take a picture of her to send to you. ‘‘I already sent the picture to Auntie Y/N.’’ He informs and she sighs with relief, massaging her cheeks from straining them too hard.

Though his eyebrows furrow, noticing his messages have once again been left undelivered. He makes a mental note to call the phone company soon, because it’s been over a week since he last sent the first messages and those remained in the same state as well. 

‘‘Daddy, unpause!’’ Sunhi demands, making him realize that he’s in the middle of showing her his favorite Pixar movie, Cars. 

Twenty minutes had passed and for a majority of them Sunhi had only watched attentively and Jungkook looked over at her every other second just to make sure she hadn’t fallen asleep. Warmness spread throughout him as he noticed his daughter looking at the screen with those big doe eyes she had inherited from him. 

Once the scene where Sally shows Lightning McQueen around Radiator Springs, Jungkook feels a tug at his sweatshirt and looks down to notice Sunhi’s little hand grabbing at the fabric, her eyes are still glued to the screen.

“Auntie Y/N likes this too?” She asks and Jungkook chuckles because his daughter can’t stop thinking about his friend even when doing anything completely unrelated to you.

Maybe that’s another thing she inherited as well.

[7:03 PM] Jeon Jungkook: so i called my phone company and asked them abt why my messages aren’t being delivered and they said that you must’ve blocked me

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[7:04 PM] Jeon Jungkook: yeah i guess you did

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Jungkook’s mind has gone blank ever since he got off the phone with the cellphone company. 

The idea that you might’ve blocked his number had not once crossed his mind during the weeks of undelivered texts and phone calls sent straight to voicemail. It was obvious, but he didn’t think you’d be capable of doing it. 

He wanted it to be a network issue or something else that he could put blame on instead of facing the realization that you had shut him out from your life. And that thought hurt, no─stung him. 

The worst part is that he knows he deserves it. It was foolish of him to think that you had enjoyed the kiss too. Dumb enough to believe that you might’ve reciprocated the way he felt. 

Jungkook doesn’t want to think this is the end, maybe it’s that stupid voice inside his head that always holds on to things that he knows he should let go of. But he can’t just let go of this and move on. 

He doesn’t remember what life was like before you and he sure as hell does not want to know what it’ll be like without you.

[1:30 AM] Jeon Jungkook: i miss you so fucking much i’m sorry if i knew that kissing you would’ve fucked everything up htne i woudl’ve never done it y/n i’m sorry 

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[1:31 AM] Jeon Jungkook: i really wanted to kiss you but it was selfish of me to do it i didnt think about what you must’ve felt im sos sorry 

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[1:32 AM] Jeon Jungkook: sunhi’s been asking me about yoj and i dont even know what to say anymore

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[2:27 AM] Jeon Jungkook: i don’t even care if you dont wanna speak to me anymore i fucked this up for sunhi she loves you so much and you’re her favorite person ever and i ruined it for her just bc i wanted to see if you felt the same way as i do

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[3:50 AM] Jeon Jungkook: i miss you y/n i really do 

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“Daddy, lemme go!” Sunhi whines trying to escape from her father’s hands as he finishes applying the sunscreen on her arms, “Daddy!”.

He gives her a stern look and the toddler huffs, sticking her bottom lip out in an act of annoyance. The playground games are waiting for her and she feels like her dad is just coming between them and her.

“Alright,” he pats his big hands on her tiny arms, “you’re good to—“ Jungkook isn’t able to finish his sentence because his daughter’s already running towards one of the slides, “Sunhi, be careful!” He reminds her, but she’s too focused on the rides than on her dad’s warning.

Jungkook sighs and relaxes into the bench. 

“She’s precious,” She comments with a small smile as her attention focuses on the little girl having the time of her life going down the slide, “I’m surprised she’s yours.” 

Jungkook looks over at the woman beside him and scoffs, but he can’t help but agree. Sunhi is too good and too pure, the best thing he’s ever done in his life. 

“Yeah, well, it’s all her.” Jungkook admits, eyes focusing back on Sunhi, “She’s really great.” 

There’s an uncomfortable silence between them and Jungkook has to clear his throat to gain her attention. 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t meet up at a café,” Jungkook apologizes and nods over at his daughter, “she’s been a little misbehaved lately, you said you wanted to talk to me and I figured that if I took Sunhi to a place like that she’d just—“

She interrupts his rambling, “Hey, it’s okay. I have no problem, really.” She assures him and he nods slightly, “I haven’t been in a place like this in a long time.” 

Jungkook scratches the back of his neck and glances over at the woman who’s looking at him with an expression he can’t quite pinpoint. It makes him so nervous that he quickly shifts his gaze to the ground.

“This is so weird.” He admits with an awkward chuckle and she raises her eyebrow, “I mean—you hate me, Minji, so I don’t know what you want to talk about.” 

“I don’t hate you!” Minji laughs and Jungkook finally looks at her and she falters, “Seriously! I only dislike you and that’s saying a lot.” 

He supposes that’s a good thing, considering how aggressive Minji used to be towards him back in college. Always letting him know how much she despised his guts, how he didn’t deserve to have you as his friend and even once threw a drink at his face during a party; though you swore to him she was drunk and that she didn’t mean it.

Jungkook hadn’t seen her much since, only a few times if it was your birthday and they managed to cross paths, because the girl made sure she was never in the same room as him. The times it happened, he felt like she was throwing daggers at him through her eyes. 

“It always bothered me how putty in your hands she was for you,” Minji begins, crossing her arms over her chest as she settles back into the bench, “and how oblivious you were about it.” 

Jungkook looks back at her and there’s a small smile on her face, most likely looking over at his daughter. 

“How when we got together for study sessions, she’d be tired because she was taking care of you the night before at one of those stupid frat parties you loved dragging her to.” Minji recalls and Jungkook feels like his mouth has gone dry from the memory.

She crosses one of her legs over the other, “Or that whole Jiwoo ordeal, how you had practically put Y/N aside once you managed to date the ‘campus hottie’.” She says with air quotes and Jungkook sighs, remembering the beginning of it all.

He knows that he can’t turn back time and change it all. Even if he could, he knows he wouldn’t. If there was no Jiwoo, there’d be no Sunhi. 

An excited yell startles him as he looks over at his daughter, swinging up and down. “Look, daddy! I'm flying!” She calls and he smiles at her. 

“Jesus, that’s fucking precious.” Minji mumbles, but he hears her nonetheless and nods in agreement. “Anyway, I’m not going to act like a saint here and pretend I was vouching for you, because I never did.” 

Jungkook knows. Back then he didn’t understand why Minji was so adamant about trash talking him to you, considering how he and her barely knew each other. Actually, whatever knowledge they had of the other was through of you. 

But Jungkook’s done a lot of self reflecting for the past month and a half and he’s realized why Minji disliked him so much. Or, dislikes. Either way, it’s valid.

“I just wanted her to snap out of it,” she confesses, “and realize that there is a life beyond you. That there’s more than being your best friend and your daughter’s babysitter. That she’s capable of moving on and putting you aside, because if you did that to her then why shouldn’t she?” 

Jungkook hadn’t thought about any of that at all. He had realized he had been a shitty friend, but the idea of just how much definitely hadn’t settled on him. He wishes you knew how much he’s cared about you, but that there were too many overlapping lines for him to ever express it.

“I thought that after setting her up with Taehyung she had finally realized it,” she continues “but you know how she is, she rarely lets up and I knew she wasn’t going to let you go that easily.” 

Jungkook draws in a long breath, rubbing his now clammy hands in his jeans as he looks back towards Minji. 

“I mean, she couldn’t let her go that easily.” She jerks her head towards Sunhi, still sitting on the swings, though she’s slowed down now. “She loves that little girl so damn much.” 

Jungkook’s sure of this. He recognizes the immense love you have for Sunhi, how sincere and unconditional it is. It’s the way a mother loves her child, though he never expected it to come from you instead. He’s not surprised though, because it’s the same love you gave to him. But it’s louder, there are no boundaries that you needed to respect to show Sunhi just how much you loved her, unlike with him. 

It dawns on him that cutting him off must’ve been hard. You probably wanted to do it for way longer and only stayed because of Sunhi and Jungkook doesn’t want to think about the dilemma you must’ve went through to finally do it this time around. 

He runs his hands through his hair, letting out a shaky breath, remembering that Sunhi doesn’t have you anymore. That’s the reason as to why she’s been so misbehaved lately, crying way too often, throwing tantrums over the smallest of things. Jungkook could blame it on the fact that she’s soon turning four and maybe it’s something that comes with age, it might just be a coincidence that she’s acting this way during a time you’re no longer present in her life.

This is the thing Sunhi might not be able to forgive him for.

“Minji,” he finally speaks up and the woman beside him focuses his gaze back on him, “I miss her so much.” He mumbles, not trusting himself to speak up because he might choke back a sob.

“Only now?” 

“No!” He says this a little too harshly and Minji jumps slightly at the tone in his voice, “I’ve always missed her and I’m fucking idiot for realizing too late.” 

She hums and Jungkook’s chest rises and falls with rapid breaths, “She’s my first thought when I wake up and when I finally manage to go to sleep. Sunhi constantly reminds me about her, asking me where she is and when can she see her and I have to force myself to lie.” 

Jungkook doesn’t realize Minji’s hand is now awkwardly placed on his back, hesitantly tapping as if to give him some comfort. It’s weird to see him like this, she had convinced herself that the guy didn’t have any feelings when it came to you.

“She blocked my number, I can’t call her and all my texts have been left undelivered. I’ve driven by her apartment building too many times with the plan to go up and talk to her, but I always back out because I’m an idiot and I know she’ll hate me if I do that and I—“

“Jungkook.” 

“I just want to know if she still cares, I don’t mind if she doesn’t feel the same way. But I want to know that Y/N still cares about Sunhi and me. Do you know? Does she? Could you please—“

Jungkook’s ramble is interrupted by the crying sounds of Sunhi, who’s now on the ground as she sobs and he quickly stands up to go straight towards her. He blinks away the tears that had formed in his eyes because there’s only room for one crying baby here.

“Pumpkin, what happened?” He asks in a soft voice, crouching down at her level and she’s pouting as she points at her bloody knee. “Did you fall down?” She nods and he sighs, picking her up as he takes her back to the bench where Minji waits with expectancy to check on the little girl.

Jungkook places Sunhi beside her and looks through his daughter’s bag for the emergency kit he carried around. He cleans the blood delicately with a gauze and alcohol, making the little girl wince and yelp out an ‘ouch!’ as she holds tightly to Minji’s thigh. 

“It’s okay, Pumpkin.” He reassures her with a smile, making his daughter nod because she trusts her dad, “It was an accident and accidents are part of growing up, right?” She nods again and Minji figures this isn’t a first for her.

Once the blood has been cleaned, Jungkook places a cute rainbow patterned bandaid on the wound in her knee. 

“There we go,” he announces and Sunhi lets out the breath she’d been holding, ‘‘all done! Are you good now?” 

“Yes,” Sunhi weakly replies, “daddy, I wanna go home.” 

Jungkook’s eyebrows raise in surprise, but the look on her face tells him that she’s probably still shaken by the accident and most likely wants to take a nap to forget about it.

He looks over at Minji with an apologetic look and she gives him half a smile, “Go, it’s alright.” 

Jungkook nods and takes Sunhi in his arms, which she gladly accepts and settles her head in the crook of his neck. Minji’s ready to leave, figuring there was no point in staying any longer.

“Minji, wait!” He stops her before she goes, making her turn around and offer him a curious look, “Sunhi’s birthday is in a few weeks and,” Jungkook reaches for something inside his daughter’s bag, “she really wants Y/N to be there.” He whispers, taking out a party invitation to hand over to Minji.

She smirks, looking at the personalized invitation for his daughter’s fourth birthday, “Just Sunhi?” She asks and he lets out a breathless laugh.

“Me too.” Jungkook adds and a small smile appears on his face as he says it. “Uh—thank you for talking to me, I know it must’ve been hard.” 

Minji swats her hand in the air, “It’s alright, just wanted to make sure how you and the kid were doing. It’s all she talks about anyway.” 

A gasp escapes his lips and he holds on to his daughter tighter as she nuzzles her face farther in. 

“I’ll give her the card, but—I can’t guarantee if she’ll go.” She warns and he nods, understanding.

Though he does not like the possible outcome, he settles down with the idea that you’ll notice how even though you both haven’t spoken towards each other in almost two months, he’s still thinking about you either way. Every day. 

[sly-merlin]

Killing Me - 4 | n.y

pairing : law student!reader + yuta

genre :    angst , mafia au/ arranged marriage au , smut

warnings : curse words, mention of murder, guns, knives, smut!

words : 5.4k

summary : “life’s never fair y/n. realise it as soon as you can . it is the only secret for living a regretless life.”

                                         or

                  “  curiousity got the cat hitched”

taglist :: (not tagging the old ones because they have read it already bt if u want , lemme know! )  @yiyi4657​​​ @sorrywonwoo​​​ @sillywinnergladiator​​​  @suhweo​​​ @exfolitae​​ @minejungwoo​​

K.M masterlist

k.m 3    k.m 5 

Previous morning in Taeyong’s office

“What was that for!” taeyong questioned jaehyun, clearly annoyed by his previous hostile mannerisms towards you. Jaehyun was on the receiving end of taeyong’s infuriation immediately after you departed from his office with doyoung.

“What!?” jaehyun tried to act oblivious at taeyong’s accusations.

“Why were you trying to scare her? Escort ring! For fucks sake Jae, I expected better from you.”

“But it wasn’t a dead loss. And even you went along in the same wagon, so don’t put everything on me alone.” jaehyun justified himself shrugging his shoulders lightly. “And admit it! She was giving you a hard time. That bitch was not buying anything!

Taeyong knew jaehyun was right. Your unsatisfied replies and never ending enquiries were exasperating him, but he would rather preserve his precious ego than admitting that to jaehyun.

He ruffled his well-made hair before replying to jaehyun, who was expecting some gratitude with a smug face.

“I-- just be careful and refrain from doing and saying anything that might put a dent in my plan. It’s a chance neo would never get again. So be patient and don’t go around opening your mouth about this to anyone.” jaehyun reluctantly nodded,not hearing what he wanted but his affirmation calmed taeyong’s nerves. He couldn’t trust jaehyun entirely but his options were limited.

All the pieces were in right place, for now. Nothing could go south right!

But jaehyun couldn’t completely understand the rationale behind Taeyong’s design.

and nor could the figure standing outside, completely hidden from the insiders.

The dread of the forthcoming finals substantiated the shortage of vacant seats in the kwanjeong library. You tried your best to arrive as expeditiously as possible for a person who partied, got abducted, arranged her own marriage, and again partied in grief, all in spam of about 34 hours. Finding no available seat, you decided to settle down on the floor. You gulped your cup of Americano in one go and began with the donut. As per a wise saying, Caffeine and sugar were the best combination as a breakfast for someone trying to get through their day with only 4 hours of sleep, the intellect being none other than your own self!

Yesterday was pretty long day. Though you were worn out from the adventures with wonwoo last night, your brain wasn’t exhausted enough to shut down properly when you tried to close your eyes.The flashes of the events had shrouded you with mixture of regrets and worries. What was the guarantee that you won’t end up dead tomorrow! What if taeyong was lying! But the fact regarding moon industries was absolutely legible. Maybe you should get a restraining order or something! But the existence of a person is necessary for that and yuta was a fucking corporate in the public eye and you were sure taeyong held some powerful position in the rich hierarchy as well, otherwise, covering the shits without revealing their true identities was not the job of some measly gang leader. There was more to taeyong than what someone could perceive just by looking. Will you be considered one of them now! After the little stunt that landed you straight into yuta’s life, you weren’t sure that he’d not strangle you in sleep. And What were you going to say to them? Chelin, yeom, guk, yeong.

and your thoughts spiralled from taeyong,yuta towards chelin and your friends and didn’t rest anytime before 4a.m. Waking up at 8 sharp , you took a shower and made your way towards the library.

And now you were here. 2 students passed your figure indicating that there were 2 vacant seats. Finally, after 15 minutes. They might have been the overnight students, you thought and walked inside before anyone else could claim the treasure. You had to find a new topic of thesis and do some research for international paper your professor was writing, and you being his designated so-called subordinate had to help him, involuntarily of course. But in this world, the student who could refuse their professor’s demands was yet to be born! Marking the place by placing your bag, you started the search for last month’ law journals and digests. One and a half hour passed, but you couldn’t find anything on international court of justice i.e. what your professor hadn’t already included. The urge to go out was profusely weighed down by your own sentiment of avoiding your friends. So you decided in favour of swallowing the bitter pill.

5 hours passed. The vibration of the timer in your phone prompted you to run off and get some food. It was already 2:30 and the lack of real food was making the tasks harder than they already were. Stepping outside into fresh air, instant regret of not bringing an umbrella washed over you. The sun was too bright unlike your mood and walking all the way to your favourite canteen would end up in you getting another headache. But you silently wished that every being from yesterday’s party was suffering from the same treatment of the over-the-top optimistic planet. why to suffer alone!

“Shortie” you lifted your head, spotting the combo of buy 1 get 1 free, heading your way.

“Where were you whole day? And if you aren’t going to pick calls then please do that poor thing a favour and sell it!” yugyeom barked while running his hand through his hair.

You shrugged jungkook’s elbow from your shoulder and replied “I was busy with prof. Joong’s work. And I have to be somewhere after 4 so I was a bit-

“Joong should adopt you already man!” Jungkook interrupted, nudging your sides with his fingers.

“ but I thought he wanted to be her sugar daddy!”  at that gyeom gave a serious and stern look to kook, pretending to ponder over his statement for a second and then suddenly they both starting laughing, hands hitting you everywhere to support their doubling figures.

“Get away from me, idiots!” you shouted, trying to get away from them. Once they were done with showing their exaggerated emotions, you all giggled together in unison. they were wearing their fundraiser t-shirts, you noticed.

“When is the fundraiser?”

“At 5. But you won’t be there to support us cause you are busy with your daddy!” kook exclaimed while bumping your shoulder with his arm.

“I didn’t say I’m going for Joong’s work and no, he’s not my sugar daddy, doofus. I’m busy with tutoring. I missed someone’s Saturday class so—

“Okay, chill tiger. You need to breathe. It’s a boring event anyway.” gyeom said in a comforting tone, interjecting your rapid fire speech.

“I’m gonna have lunch, are you two going?” you suggested.

“Yeah, it’s our break and yeong and minjun have eaten already, so that left you!” kook pouted when gyeom mentioned his boyfriend’s name.

“Let’s go! I want my sugar” your dramatic pout made yugyeom pet your hair lovingly and the three of you started walking on stone pathway on the way to the canteen.

“Where’s your umbrella?” jungkook asked you. He knew how much you hated walking under sun after the drinking escapades.

“I forgot but let’s not talk about it. it’s making me grumpy.”

“Okay! but why don’t you cover your head with that scarf instead.” he said pointing towards the silky material around your neck.

“Naahh, it ruins my fashion” they gave each other a puzzled look, shrugging their shoulders for they both couldn’t gather the reason of your weird behaviour.

At lunch, you talked to them about the fundraiser and gave your own contribution for the noble cause. The conversation with them progressed too easily and for about an hour you forgot about the turmoil in your life, which was still unknown to them.

After parting away, you went straight to your professor to show him your progress. He took note of the materials you found on recent cases and dismissed you without showing any gratitude. Not even a word of appreciation.

A ping!

Jaemin: noona, doyoung hyung is picking you up at 4 but he won’t enter the campus. Be out at 4!

You let out a frustrated groan at his text. You had only met him once, when he conferred upon you the honour of connecting your phone to his server but that was not the only favour you received! He also saved his contact number with various hearts that you obviously removed after reaching home. you could only pray to heavens that he won’t be there today as well!

You made your way to the library again, this time to work on your thesis. The time passed quickly than you thought. The alarm you placed earlier vibrated, indicating it was 4 already! You hastily made your bag and ran out of the library. It took 10 minutes to reach the gates of the campus. When you passed your dorms building, the idea of ditching doyoung and going to bed sounded tempting but as usual, nothing was going your way these days. You felt like the old catch 22 was in action.

You passed through the gates and looked around the road to find doyoung’s car but he was nowhere to be seen. While you were scanning the whole area, a low voice called your attention.

“What are you finding, I’m right here under your nose” a voice said through gritted teeth.

Yes, he was indeed sitting in the car right in front of you and the only one you missed apparently. You walked around the car to sit on the passenger seat, the tinted windows hiding you from the outside funfair.

“What took you so long? Its 4:15 already.”

“I don’t have a car like you so I walked myself here and it’s not like I did it purposely anyway.” You contended, the annoyance in your voice matching his own.

“Whatever, we are already late so turn around. Taeyong would be mad.”

“No I’m not turning around. First that cloth bag, then the handkerchief you tied on my eyes yesterday, its painful man. I’ll lose my eyesight this way. And I can navigate whole city from this place, you can’t hide your dungeon from me now” you reasoned. He didn’t tie your hands yesterday but your eyes were still covered.

“Then give me your scarf. I’ll cover your eyes with your own choice of article. It’s not painful or else you won’t be wearing it right! he said mockingly, pointing towards your neck.

“Umm, this scarf is act-

“Give me that already. I have some other things to handle as well.” assessing your options, you hesitantly removed the scarf, turning around to face the window immediately. Doyoung tied it across your eyes, checking the knot twice and tapped your shoulder. As you turned around, doyoung’s doe eyes widened, if that was even possible. Your collarbone and neck, which was visible through your v neck top, was covered with pretty purplish bruises. You fidgeted with your hands, flustered, feeling his eyes on you. But he remained quiet, focusing on the task at hand.

The whole drive was quiet and though your hands were not tied, you kept them on your backpack, hesitant to start any conversation. The car stopped finally, the mixed feelings coming back. The same process followed. He guided you inside but this time you passed only one door and the walk was quite shorter as well.

As doyoung was about to remove your scarf, a hand stopped him, or that was what you understood from the movements at that time.

“Silky scarf, blindfold and hickies hmm! Being kinky doyoungie. She’s your sister-in-law. Show some respect boy!” a voice remarked, the air around your face suddenly filled with chocolate and coffee. You hiccupped all of a sudden, earning a chuckle from the unknown presence.

You tried to reach for the blindfold, but your hands were caught mid-air, the said hands removing it. You blinked your eyes a few times to make out the figure’s face. He was standing, mostly bending to match your stature, face smiling to show all of his teeth.

Yuta.

You, surprised, took a step back but instead bumped into the one behind you.

“I’ll take over from here, doyoung.” but fortunately, he didn’t budge, fortunately. Your hold on backpack tightened, your eyes lowered to avoid his gaze. The only thing in your view were his baggy pants and white sports shoes.

But yuta could see only you and nothing else. Taeyong wasn’t the only one awaiting your arrival. Yuta was equally anticipating you.  His night was just as sleepless and anxious as you. He was afterall at the other end of the rope.

He raised your head, fingertips lightly grazing your chin. His hooded eyes roamed around your face like he was expecting you show some contempt , hatred,nervousness! He straightened up abruptly and started tying the silk around your neck. You flinched at his touch but he remained void of any reaction. His half denim jacket and white t-shirt hid you from the surroundings, his arms almost engulfing you. He repositioned himself to match you height again, arms crossing against his chest.

“Looks like someone had a fun night.” and in a second, his honey smile changed into a smirk, letting go of any trace of earlier softer expressions. And the look on his face was enough to scare the shit out of anyone.

“Stop yuta” a taller man you recognised from yesterday as Johnny, pushed yuta aside from your view. It was then you saw that everyone was there. Including the one you were yet to encounter.

Your eyes wandered from one side to other of the room. Johnny let you inspect.

“Doyoung, what was the need to cover her eyes?” Johnny whispered to doyoung, breaking your trance.

“Why is everyone nagging me so much” he whined in a screeching voice.

“Karma bitch” Johnny pointed his forefinger towards him before giving his attention to you.

“Hey, how are you y/n.” he asked, his cheerful voice totally in contrast with the weather of the room.

“I’m- ummm.” you cleared your throat before continuing. “I’m fine Johnny. As fine I can be.” you mumbled the last part but he surely heard you.

“You remembered my name!” he clapped, his eyes turning into crescents. You gave him a tight lipped smile in return, waiting for some instructions. As if on cue, taeyong’s loud voice graced your ears.

“Come y/n. make yourself comfortable” he indicated towards the couches that were almost already occupied. Johnny gestured you to proceed, walking with you. You passed yuta who was still smirking and sat on the single seat available next to taeyong. You placed your backpack on the large table in the middle of the room. It looked like a normal living room for guests, just with too many couches to accommodate the gang. You felt like an uninvited because apparently everybody was watching you like a hawk. Their stares changed sight only when yuta came to take a seat on one of the couch, exactly opposite to yours. You met his eyes briefly before turning your face towards your bag again.

Who knew the rusty zips of your bag were so interesting!

“So y/n I thought you should meet everyone. You are going to be part of this family soon. Better get acquainted with all.” taeyong addressed you while he sat on his couch majestically like a king. You heard a dry laugh and if you had to guess it had to be from jaehyun or yuta.

You didn’t understand why he wanted that. You were just a risk till yesterday and now means to discipline yuta.

And why all the formalities if you were gonna leave anyway.

“I’m going to leave anyway, taeyong. So I don’t see a need to do it!”

You were too consumed to notice how your sentence turned all the heads around you. Some started giving side eyes to each other. There was something they were all missing.

“I said you could leave. But not without my permission. So, you’d be stuck for now, maybe till months or years.”

You gulped at his words. Taeyong turned your only hope into a distant dream. Maybe you were too foolish to gauge the situation.

“You want something to eat or drink before we continue” he asked in a sincere voice. Shaking your head, you rubbed your eyes with the palms of your hands to stop them from moistening. There was nothing more embarrassing than to cry in front of a bunch of strangers who didn’t give a shit about you.

“No, please continue.” you emphasised again to not draw any more attention to yourself than already was. And you internally thanked to taeyong who continued as if you weren’t just gonna cry!

“You will move in with yuta on Saturday,” it was Monday. “The wedding ceremony would be held in the morning. So you have few days to prepare, everything from your dress to every other thing you need shall be arranged. Just name it and you’ll have it!”

Wedding ceremony! That was not on the plate!

“I don’t want a cerem-

“Leave the bullshit ta-

You and yuta both cut off each other simultaneously. You glanced at his side, finding him already piercing his gaze into yours.

“There’s no need for it. The paper signing is enough. It’s not like we are in-

You knew taeyong understood what you were trying to say, so you didn’t continue. But you were already having a feeling of superiority over yuta for being the first to offer your opinion. It felt like a payback for flustering you earlier. You refrained from facing him again, your body turned towards taeyong only, but you felt satisfied with the thought of him being riled up.

“Oh, but I want a ceremony taeyong and mark is going to be the best man. He’s so excited. You can’t do that to him!” yuta emphasised through the variation in his voice. You knew he changed his argument purposely , but you maintained your cool, opting to ignore him . bear and forbear.

Taeyong raised his eyebrow at you but you shook your head again.

“I don’t think it’d be a good idea. It’s not a normal one anyway so why pretend!” you held your ground.

“You aren’t getting married to a mannequin.” yuta retracted. “I’m getting married as well and don’t anyone dare say that I made a mistake and blah blah. At last I’ll be hitching so I want a ceremony and Japanese at that!”

Oh yeah, he was Japanese. You has missed that as well.

All the other men in the room, 9 to be exact, were nodding at everything that was being said. They were unable to decide whose argument was worth taking side for. Finally Johnny spoke-

“I think y/n is right” looking at nowhere particular, he continued. “What’s with pomp and show when it’s nothing more than an agreement”

“But if yuta hyung wants it, then why not. They are going to live together, he should have his say as well.” it was mark who took yuta’s side. He didn’t know why but watching yuta losing ground urged him to support his brother.

You looked briefly at the boy who just argued with Johnny.

“He’s mark y/n.” taeyong said the answer you were looking for. “And he’s Jungwoo, jeno, doyoung, you have already met him, then jaehyun, johnny, renjunie, hendery. Others are busy so you’ll meet them some other day probably.”

A few waved towards you, including mark, who shyly withdrew his hand quickly. They all probably hated you as there was no other reaction towards a person who almost put your life in danger!

“Can we get to a middle ground now? I’m already getting tired of this” jaehyun grumbled, leaning into the couch.

“Ok so, he wants a celebration of a lie! What about me then. You are all here but I have no one. I’m alone and probably will be. Because taeyong, you haven’t told me how am I going to reveal this to my friends? I may not have a family, but still there are people close to me. they are my best friends, roommate, and many others who need to know! How am I going to explain them that their friend who didn’t even have a boyfriend, is getting married suddenly? I don’t even have parents to cover it with an arranged marriage. How to convince them? give me a way and I’ll agree” you pointed out the very important detail that they were missing. But they needed to know that there was other side of the paper as well and your reasons were not just a cry in the wilderness.

Nobody made a sound. Everything went quite like a dark night until-

“I hope this is not the calm before a storm!” you looked over to see the person who broke the silence. It was another young man coming with a food trolley, probably from the kitchen.

“I thought we have a guest so I prepared some coffee and donuts. I hope you like sweets y/n” the man was smiling ear to ear, seeming too happy with your visit.

“I-

“I’m kun.” he introduced himself and you shook his hand. He seemed too polite for a criminal. “Have this and tell me how it is” he forcibly handed you a dessert plate with a chocolate glanced donut. You took it out of politeness but felt a bit weird to be the only one eating it. You watched him with quizzical eyes as he took one for himself and sat on the arm of your couch. Everyone was now staring at your movements.

“Eat it, eat it. These are for you and me only.” he cajoled.

You decided to take a bite and then place it back just to stop the awkwardness.

As you bit it from one side, your brain short circuited. “Holy shit, bro. what is this sorcery.” your genuine and innocent reaction made Kun laugh loudly, some of the others joined in as well.

“Thank god, you like it! I’m so glad you aren’t one of weight conscious ones, otherwise it’d have been weird.” he starting munching on his own piece.

“I’m a sugar bear. I can’t live without sugar. I just had a donut in the morning but it was bleh comparing to this. You are a master chef bro.” and for a minute you forgot the previous tense environment. Everyone was glad that Kun came to save the situation and except to you, it was known that obviously he heard everything from the kitchen.

“You ate one in the morning! Then it’s the last one you’re getting. Everyone help yourself. She’s not having anymore!” as if they were waiting, everyone except mark and yuta picked them up.

“Mark” Kun motioned towards the tray and he grabbed one as well.

“What if I was allergic to chocolate, kun” you asked him while finishing your treat.

“Oh please! Even ten eats it.” he laughed to himself at his reference, which went over your head.

“Now coming to the point.” Everyone looked at taeyong who was already done with eating. “Y/n doesn’t want anything special so it’ll happen like that. No!yuta, lemma speak. And you y/n, it’s upon you to make your friends believe. Make up a story or do whatever you want. You don’t want to tell them about the wedding. Fine with me but do let them know at least that you have a boyfriend that you are moving in with! It’s on you both to make this arrangement believable.

“okay , sho now I shuggenly hab a voyfiend” you started speaking without even finishing the bite in your mouth. you continued once you chewed it.

“wont they be suspicious. They know exactly what I do and what I don’t. It’s almost impossible to put a façade in front of them.”

“Oh please, don’t tell me they even know from where you got those hickies” jaehyun’s curt statement was a hit below the belt. Kun was about to scold him when you elaborated his statement further to prove that he was doing nothing but burning his own fingers.

“Yes, actually they happen to know. When, where and from whom I got these. Anything else you want to ask?.” he rolled his eyes on your reply, busing himself with the delicacy instead.

“They don’t know yuta. So if you want you can introduce him to your people. He won’t be posing any problem, take my word for it.”

“I’ll go with you if you also accompany me,that I guess would be a problem for you. You don’t want to be seen with a criminal, or do you!” yuta jabbered. He was trying to push your buttons to measure your limit. But little did he know that you were far from being that easy.

“I just said I don’t want a wedding. I’ll agree to anything that is reasonable and is not degrading to me.”

“Ok then, nobody would force you to do what you don’t want.” taeyong decided to took matter in his own hands now. “And we’ll organise a small, very intimate gathering at taeil’s office to celebrate as yuta wants. And you’ll be introduced as Mrs. Nakamoto to our corporate world.” taeyong finished gauging both of your reactions. The surname was foreign and cringing to you. But it was going to be yours, so there was nothing you could do, for now.

“What do you mean ‘our’ corporate world.” you got puzzled at his choice of words.

“You’ll find out soon and its nothing scary, don’t worry.” Kun responded on behalf of taeyong this time, handing you your cup of coffee. “Tell me if it’s cold, I’ll-

“No it’s totally fine.” you assured him, without even taking a sip. He was being nice enough already.

“If my opinion has no value, then what am I even doing here!” yuta shouted, getting up from the seat.

“yut-

Before Kun could say anything, he stormed off. Mark tried to follow but taeyong stopped him from doing that.

“Don’t mind him. He’s a hot head.” Johnny laughed in between his bites.

You only nodded, sipping your coffee. You were glad he was gone. Sugar has always done wonders for you and it was having same effects now as well. You were able to think more rationally now.

“One more thing” you furrowed your brows at taeyong. What was left now!  “Do you want any specifications in the house? It’s my responsibility. A wedding gift you can say. If you need anything like extra closet, a more spacious kitchen-

“Kitchen?” you let out a brief chuckle at that. Everyone’s eyes were on you now. “It’ll be totally fine if I don’t even get a kitchen. I can’t cook anything besides ramyeon and salads. So I won’t even need that.”

“You are a student. Don’t you know anything basic.” it was Jungwoo who spoke in the voice sweeter than even Kun’s.

“No. I grew up in an orphanage and they provided us everything. I left when I started law. So all in all, I never had anyone to teach me. That’s why if you want to know best food trucks and restaurants in the city, I’m your best option.but, if that yuta knows how to cook, ask him about the kitchen.” you spoke non chalantly .But you didn’t realise how uncomfortable the air had become. a heavy silence took over the light atmosphere.

“I’m sorry noona” Jungwoo apologised sheepishly.

“It’s fine. After all there are some things that your hacker can’t find out. only I can tell you those.” saying that, you faced taeyong again. “But if you insist, I can always use a study room.” you tried to enlighten the mood again.

“Ok. I’ll find something suitable for you both.” you hummed, not knowing what to say anymore.

“Can I go back now?”

“Yes, doyoung will drop you.”

“No, I’ll go with her.” Johnny said, grabbing your attention. He didn’t look sulky like doyoung so, it’d be fine, you guess.

They said you goodbyes. Mark seemed hesitant to even look at you, but you couldn’t care less. He was just a stranger after all.

Yuta couldn’t realise why everyone was trying to be so nice to you. Till yesterday, he was allowed to put a gun on her head but now every being was against him. He didn’t know why he was so furious at taeyong, to forcing him to marry you or from dragging mark into this mess. Taeyong knew how to play dirty, but yuta never thought he’d use his own brother. There was no option for him as well, as taeyong has said. He showed interest in a fucking celebration to contradict you, but you were not backing down and that felt like a punch to his gut.

He drove towards his stress reliever. The infamous Japanese club. Only place where he could drown his sorrows.

The club was packed despite it being Monday. That was one thing he liked about it, you’ll never be disappointed in this place.

“ゆた!” The hostess chimed seeing yuta. “久しぶり” [ long time, no see!]

He signed her to give him 2 shots. She did as told but her gaze was following yuta’s, which rested on her cleavage. He came here only for 2 things after all.

He gulped the drink in a second without blinking an eye.

“バックルーム” [ back room]

She wasn’t someone to be told twice. She handed her hand towel to her co-worker and followed the path. Who was she to reject him after all?

As she opened the door, yuta pressed her against the door, shutting it with a thud, His tongue directly fighting with hers. Sinful sounds escaped her throat as yuta’s hand started working on the skimpy fabric she wore to cover herself. She moaned loudly as yuta pinched her nipples hard, his groans matching her loud ones. His eagerness always started a fire in her body, with intensity too much to handle. Her hands undid his pants, dropping them on the floor. They have done it so many times that the whole process imprinted in their minds by now.

without breaking the kiss,she changed their positions making yuta’s back hitting  the door . With a loud smooch, his lips parted hers, to let her function pn her own.

She got to her knees while he got rid of his shoes to remove the boxers. She gave a few pumps before giving kitten licks to the tip while her gaze was fixed on his face.

“Hisoka, I’m in a hurry” he warned her. Smirking, she took him in her mouth, going up and down as head bobbed with the motion. Yuta fisted her hair, roughly stroking himself inside of her. She whimpered on the action and hit his balls with her other hand, earning a chuckle from him. Yuta knew how much she hated when he took charge. Yuta’s head hit the door as she sped up, the grip on her hair tightening and with a few deep throats, he was done. Yuta looked at her fucked up eyes, chin dripping with his seed. He picked her up with her elbow, his mouth latching towards her breast as soon as her back hit the same spot again. she moaned in pleasure as her shorts were removed hastily by him. Yuta merely smirked at her lack of panties.

“You knew I was coming hmm!” he growled sensually in her ear. Her body almost crumbled on the floor at his voice. “Let’s do it then!” he exclaimed, slipping himself into her. Her one leg that was wrapped around his waist provided him a perfect angle to stroke while his hand perfectly trapped her against the door. his mindless thrusts made her breasts to bounce with the same pace. “Faster”  her  moans were muffled from the outside world due to the high bass music that was playing in the club , providing them the coverage from any 

“もっと”[ more!] Yuta asked her while giving a final hit to her insides, her body losing all the strength as she released her love juices. She slumped towards his chest as yuta let himself undone. As they rode their highs, yuta kissed her neck from behind, leaving her body in shivers for the next few minutes.

He drove back silently again. The relieve he felt was all dissipated now. Instead his mind was already wandering towards you. Your headstrong attitude was troubling him more than he anticipated! his plans were all down and out. He hated you , from the moment he laid his eyes on you. You acted like you were invincible but he knew it was just a mask to protect yourself.

He had noticed how you had rubbed your eyes to hide your disappointment for you didn’t want to appear weak. All he had to do now was to find a vulnerable part of you, to hit you where it’d hurt the most. It’d be last time he lost to you. from now on, you won’t be able to keep up with him.

Afterall, beginning is always easy, it is continuing that’s hard!

[serena-hart-09]

A Story’s Analyzation Chapter 2 : A New Morning, for Old Evenings...

It seems I completely forgot to add notes (and one more tag) to the last chapter.... *slowly runs away embarrassed* Please excuse me of my mistakes, this is my very first work..... And yes, I don’t have an editor. All the typing and editing is done by me..... so expect some (maybe a lot of mistakes) in my works. As it is, I am posting all the other chapters from ao3 and finally post the new chapter by tomorrow..... I hope you enjoy this chapter! Have a great day ahead! (P.s. I would really like some fic writing advices/suggestions!)

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“What is this a set for a horror film?” Mc says looking at the mansion in front of them. It was a big mansion but it felt cold, creepy and too much eerie. “Mc, this the House of Lamentation.” Satan says while looking at them with curiosity. Mc lets out a small “oh”.  Mc looks at Lucifer and asks him, “Hey, what about my stuff? You know like clothes, etc. etc.?”

“They are already transported in your room.” He replies as he unlocks the door.

“Eh? Really?”

“Yes.”

After entering all the other brothers except Lucifer and Mammon retreat back to their rooms. “We’ll meet each other tomorrow, sweetie!” Asmodeus looks at them with the same sparkling eyes from before. “Yes, we will if you stop trying to get in my pants for a damn second.” They say uninterested not even looking at him. “My how cold!” he continues with very concerning face as if saying ‘Challenge Accepted’. He gives them a flying kiss before finally going back in his room.

“Be very careful with that one, human.” Mammon says while looking at them seriously. Mc looks at with shock, “Aww, it seems u care for me!”

“Wha- I don’t!”

“You do!”

“Shut up, you crazy human!”

Lucifer coughs loudly to get our attention, “We shall now show your room, come follow me.”

“Alright!” They say with a cute face. Lucifer looks at Mammon who is blushing and mumbling how cute were right now.

********

“This is your room.” Lucifer looks at them with a smile who is ignored by the said human who is excited as a child on Christmas. “Woah! This is so cool!”

Lucifer doesn’t know if to feel offended or to smile at their cute excitement. While being lost at his current confusion, Mc’s voice draws him back to reality, “Hey, is there anything else I need to know?”

“A-ah yes, your RAD uniform and other clothes are kept in the closet.” ‘Di-did I just stuttered?!’ Lucifer thinks to himself. “Tch” he looks at the wall of vines as if to will them on fire for this embarrassment. He then looks at Mammon who was behind him was trying his best not to laugh at his brother. Lucifer glares at him which makes Mammon feel as if he lost 100 years of his life. All while this is happening the human looks around the room. They finally look at the RAD uniform in the closet. “What in the hell is this, monstrosity of a cloth?”

“That is the uniform, stupid human.” Mammon looks at them snickering.

“If this is a uniform, why is it so……” Mc drifts off as they don’t have words to describe the uniform. “Seriously, whose design is this? Most importantly, who approved of it?”

“Stop complaining about the uniform. You will wear it even if you don’t like it.” Lucifer says with ‘oh scary and commanding voice’. Mc sighs, putting the uniform back in the closet. The look at them.

….

“Uh, guys?”

“Yes?”

“Aren’t you going back in your rooms? Because I am gonna change out these clothes.”

Both of them look at them with shock as if they remembered something very important, they forgot. Lucifer says nothing but a small goodnight. Mammon stutters out how it’s the human’s fault he forgot.

“They are quite cute!” Mc thinks aloud after finally searching for their clothes and changing into them. ‘Well let’s see what happens tomorrow……’ they think as finally slumber takes over them.

******

“Good morning…” Mc says finally coming down in the dinning room from their room and also from finally wearing the disaster of an outfit that is called as the uniform in this place.

“Good morning Mc, Darling!” Asmodeus calls them across the table. “Good morning and please leave me alone if you are still trying to get me on your bed, cause I’m not in the mood.” They say as they take their seat. “Well, good morning to you too, Mc” Satan speaks as he enters the room, they nod at him with a smile. “Good morning, Beel.” they say as the said man in eating his breakfast with a lot of speed. Beel too, nods at them as if say ‘yeah good morning’.

“Good morning, Mc.” Lucifer greets them across the table sitting on the chair like a king drinking his coffee, “the one thing I forgot to mention was that we take turns in the kitchen to cook for our daily meals. Now that you are also a resident of this house it’s only fair for you to take a turn as well.”

“Ah, yes I will.” They say with a tired smile.

“Hm? Did you not have a good sleep?” he looks at them.

“Do you want to hear me complain about the uniform, again?” Mc dead pans at him. Some small snickers and laughs could be heard from the residents sitting the room.

“…..No”

“Alright.”

Lucifer looks around the table as if something is missing, “brothers, where is Levi-”

Just then the door opened with a loud bang. ‘Seriously, they should stop entering dramatically with a bang. Does this family have drama in their veins instead of blood?’

“MAMMON!” the new male with indigo coloured-hair is angrily walking towards Mammon who is flustered. “Ah, here comes the tax collector” he says while trying to run. But before he could he the man is already at Mammon’s throat; he goes on about saying how he wanted his money back from Mammon so he could buy a figurine.

“Mammon, Avatar of Greed, what have you done now?” Lucifer asks pinching his nose bridge.

“Avatar of Greed?” Mc asks.

“Yes, Mammon’s the Avatar of Greed and the second eldest.” Satan fills the blank in Mc’s question.

“Second eldest?”

“Yes, we are seven brothers in total. Lucifer the eldest of us, Mammon the second eldest, the guy who is trying get his money from Mammon is Leviathan third eldest Avatar of Envy, me the fourth brother, Asmodeus the fifth brother and Beelzebub the sixth brother……” Satan says with a hushed voice while looking at them with a serious face.

“Wait, but you just said there are seven of you-”

“GIVE ME BACK MY MONEY YOU GOOD-FOR-NOTHING SCUM!” Leviathan….?..... screams at the top of his lungs. This makes Lucifer angry and lash at them “BOTH OF YOU BE QUIET! I’VE TOLD YOU A THOUSAND TIMES NOT TO FIGHT DURING MEALS. IF YOU CONTINUE THIS BEHAVIOUR, I’LL HANG BOTH OF YOU FROM THE CHANDELIER FOR REST OF THE WEEK!”  this seems to quieten down both of them and they sit down.

After a moment of silence……

“Aaaah! Lucifer a stranger! Why is a stranger here?!” Leviathan screams yet once again while pointing a finger at Mc. Lucifer holds his head in his hands as if contemplating his life decisions.

This time, Asmodeus decides to fill in Leviathan with the information and explain it to Leviathan in a very excitable tone even talking about how they did not got seduced by him and how ‘he will change that’. Leviathan looks at Mc as if looking at a tiger in a zoo for the first time and trying to ask ‘this one doesn’t bite right?’

After eating his breakfast, he goes back to his room it seems, while the others gather near the front door. Mc asks Mammon if Leviathan doesn’t go to RAD. “……He doesn’t like crowds.” Mammon answers as he looks at Leviathan’s room door with a frown.

********

“So, how was your rest of the first day here?” Diavolo asks with an excited tone and a giant smile. Currently Lucifer, Mc, Diavolo and his green-haired butler Barbatos who Diavolo finally introduced to Mc are sitting in the gazebo- like place in a garden between the RAD building and the Royal Palace.

“It was good. I am excited for the days to come.” They say as they sip the tea that Barbatos made. ‘I should probably ask him the name of the tea. It’s really nice.’ Regardless, of the first impression that Barbatos had it seemed that he was polite if not a little friendly with Mc.

“Great! Anyways, what do you in Human World Mc?” you can literally see the stars of excitement in his eyes, “Pardon my excitement, its just this is my first time talking to a human!”

Mc chuckles at this, “I don’t do much, I am scientist, I create some magical implements for the officers at the place I work at.”

“Oh? What is this place you work at?” Lucifer asks curious at the mention of magic.

“Was it not mentioned in my file? The student file, I mean.” they look at him with a question mark on their face.

“Ah, no. It wasn't there for some reason.”

“Lucifer that is dangerous you know. I mean what would happen if it wasn’t me but a mob boss or someone dangerous?” Mc tells Lucifer in a slight teasing tone.

“…..”

“But anyways, what place do you work in?” Diavolo with a bright voice trying to change the subject.

“Hmm….. Let’s say a police force or the Organization but instead of arresting those without magic they arrest the ones that misuse magic for their own good by destroying people’s life in the process. I help them by creating new useful implements and providing with said implements.” They finish as the bring the cup to their lips to drink their tea.

Diavolo looked like he was over the moon after hearing the new information. While Barbatos’s expression was unreadable. Lucifer was between curious and doubtful.

“I do write Novels under an alias as well.”

“Really?! What type of novel? What is your alias?”

Mc smiles at this, “That’s a secret!”

“Aww….”

“At what position do you stand in the Organization?” Barbatos asks with a knowing smile.

“Ah, one of the Founders.”

“Founder? You created the Organization?” Diavolo asked excitedly.

“Yes, with my friends to be exact. After graduation my friends and I used to work for another police force until we revolted and things went a little out of control. When things became normal, we created said police force or rather the Organization.”

“Why did you revolt?” Lucifer asks them with an unreadable expression.

“….. Many people died even some my family-like friends too………. that place….. abandoned us to die…..not only that the killed a lot their own officers……we didn’t want more people to die that’s why………” they answer with sad and longing voice.

“Mc…. I’m sorry.”

“Ah, no don’t be you just asked it out of curiosity.” They give him a small smile. He continues to look at them, at their eyes to find an answer if they were really alright. They too look at him with concern in their eyes.

“Ahem.”  Diavolo’s voice removes both of them from their trance. “I truly apologize if we resurfaced some not so good memories.” He gives them an apologetic smile.

After that, they talk about everything else to change the topic from the past.

Mc happily talks about their favourite cuisine form the human world, and promises The Fantastic Three, that they will make it for everyone to taste. They also talk about their favourite cake and pastries all while Lucifer looks at them with softness in his eyes. Diavolo of course notices this and smirks at Barbatos.

….

Barbatos can feel the literal excitement of his Young Master. He sighs internally knowing of what’s to come…

Just then a pair of new people enter in the room. One them speaks “Greetings Lord Diavolo, Barbatos and Lucifer.” While the other one is hiding behind him  

“Yes, Good Afternoon Simeon. Mc, this is Simeon one of the exchange students from the Celestial Realm.” Mc extends their hand, “I am Mc, it’s a pleasure to meet you, Simeon.”

“Likewise.” Simeon shakes hands with them and smiles.

“Ah, it has been while, Chihuahua.” Lucifer’s smug voice is heard

‘Chihuahua?’ they think themselves.

“I TOLD YOU SO MANY TIMES I’M NOT A CHIHUAHUA YOU DAMN DEMON!” a childlike voice screams at him as a new person comes in Mc’s view. ��Wait, a child?’

“Ah, this is Luke the Chihuahua, Mc. He’s the other exchange student from the Celestial Realm.” Lucifer says with a smug expression.

Mc looks at Luke. Luke looks at Mc. Mc walks over to Lucifer-

“Do Not Insult My Child.”

…………

………

…….

…..

….

…

..

.

‘Seriously, did they lost all sense by bringing a cute harmless child in such a dangerous game?

….

*Sigh*

Well, this story is quite chaotic….. it seems none them even realize that the Organization’s name wasn’t even mentioned. Well, I shouldn’t complain after all it does gives me an advantage for cutting some slack……

…

Huh? Who are you?

…

Oh, I see its you.

Tell me of your day, how was it?

…. Hm? Confused, are we?

It’s alright, I know who you are……….

…………….

………….

………

…..

…

..

.

Reader~. hehehe’    

[jerbric]

can u tell us abt the au? 👀

Yes! Also this was going to be a brief summary but the more I wrote the more invested I got and so I fully fleshed out the AU for both you and me. It’s sooooo long so if you end up not reading it, that’s cool. Anyway,

You know those AUs where when Della disappears, her eggs are split between the cousins and when the kids find out about each other they try to Parent Trap everyone? So it’s a little bit of a spin off of those AUs.

Basically, the eggs are split, yes with the basic Louie/Gladstone, Huey/Fethry, and Dewey/Donald concept. Anyway, they grow up with their respective parents, and accept their very simple lives. Except one day, out of curiosity, Huey asks Fethry about his parents, and Fethry goes on to talk about Della and everything else. He talks about Donald and Scrooge and Gladstone, and how one day Della just “disappeared,” but he never once mentions Dewey and Louie. So, interested to learn exactly what had happened, Huey begins to write letters to Scrooge McDuck, hoping that one day he’ll respond and want to meet up and reconnect. Unfortunately, that never happens, so he ends up giving up and going back to being comfortable in his little home with Fethry.

Back at the manor, Webby is still invested in McDuck history and heritage. She still makes her boards and all that, and this time, she gets her hands on Della Duck’s old journal way earlier. She looks up to Della and starts to wonder what happened to her and why Scrooge ever stopped adventuring. She tries to grab Scrooge’s attention from afar but it’s fruitless, and her little adventure is at a dead end. Until! Until one day, she’s getting the mail at Beakley’s request, and she finds letter from someone cities away from Duckburg. They’re addressed to Scrooge, and while Webby knows when to keep her hands to herself, she knows that Scrooge throws out any mail that’s not work related. So she hides the letter and later on takes it to her room. She reads it and is immediately interested in everything Huey Duck has to say and offer.

And she does this with every letter that comes after, each one a request to meet Scrooge. But the more that come, the less formal they are, and the more desperate they sound. The very first one was a formal request to meet Scrooge to talk about some personal business, but later on they begin to give more detail. Huey is Della Duck’s son, he lives with his Uncle Fethry and his grandmother on their farm. He also mentions Gladstone and Donald, and how he hopes the five of them can meet up and reconnect.

Anyway, point is, Webby decides that this is her moment to shine. She’s going to step out of the shadows and bring together Scrooge McDuck’s family and then he will finally notice her! Also, this is an adventure, and it will be long and there will be ups and downs, but just like Della Duck, Webby’s not going to let anything get in her way! I know, she could just ask Beakley for help but Beakley would get upset over the hidden mail and simply say that Webby’s adventure is just her digging into something she shouldn’t. So Webby packs her things and sneaks out of the manor, setting out on her very first adventure. She was trained to defend herself and detect any forms of harm, so she’s ready! (Don’t worry, she left Beakley a note saying she’ll be safe and back in no time.)

She wanders all around Duckburg in search of Donald Duck, who lives there according to Huey. This is how she meets Lena and becomes an unexpected accomplice to shoplifting. Basically, she’s walking around when she’s knocked back by someone, but when she gets up, she only sees the back of the girl as she runs around the corner. As she starts picking up her things, she realizes that the girl forgot something, so she hurries and runs after her in order to return it. She ends up at the abandoned amphitheater, where she confronts Lena, and Lena, who is still paranoid about a passing cop, takes Webby inside and explains what happens. Webby is shocked but let’s it slide because she thinks Lena’s cool and wow! she runs fast!

So Lena asks Webby what she’s doing wandering around Duckburg and Webby shows her the letters and explains her grand plan. Lena takes interest immediately because she still works for Magica and helping Webby out would mean the possible chance of meeting Scrooge McDuck so “you realize travelling alone is dangerous, right? You’re going to need some help.” And obviously Webby let’s her tag along!

They stay at the amphitheater for the night and the next day they set out to find Donald Duck. They figure out where he lives and go to knock on the door. Instead they’re greeted by a young duck who’s bored out of his mind because his babysitter won’t let him do anything. Anyway they meet Dewey, is what happens, and once Webby explains everything to him, he does the same thing Webby did. He packs his things and leaves Donald a note (this happens later that night, not with the babysitter bc that would’ve been yikes lol). He joins them, and then they set off to the city of Macaw, where rumor has it that Gladstone Gander is making some big wins.

The same thing happens, they meet Louie, who agrees to tag along and they set off to find Huey, the reason for this whole adventure. Dewey and Louie bond the entire time going on about “we’re related to the Scrooge McDuck?!” and “where have you been all my life?!” Webby and Lena also bond some more, and they become best friends, and eventually, Lena begins to feel like this life is so prefect and so good. She’s having fun, meeting new people, going to new places, and it’s such a wonderful thing, she would’ve forgotten about Magica if Magica would only stop bugging her about her mission for five minutes.

It’s when they’re on their way to Grandma Duck’s farm, that things start falling apart and they start having doubts. Magica starts to get frustrated and begins causing trouble, which ends up with Lena confessing everything. Despite this, Webby believes in her and she convinces Dewey and Louie to let her stay. They’re hesitant, but they allow it and they help Lena keep Magica at bay. I mean, she can’t do too much while she’s a shadow. And this part isn’t too thought out atm but it will be later.

And so, they end up making it to the farm and finally, they have a warm place to sleep without having to worry. Grandma Duck and everyone else is very welcoming and they provide more information than they had initially agreed to give. The kids spend a few days at the farm and Huey, Dewey, and Louie bond. Webby and Lena talk about what’s going to happen when they get back to Duckburg and Lena begins to doubt how much she’s actually wanted around by the others. So the night before the kids and Fethry are supposed to head out, she leaves.

They boys try to brush it off as “she was going to go her own way when we got back to Duckburg anyway, so does it really matter?” “Of course it does! Lena is my- our friend! We have to find her!” In the end, she’s outvoted by the boys and Fethry, who does try to get on her side but it was a losing fight, and they return to Duckburg, immediately going to Donald. They invite Gladstone over, and once they’re all together, they all go visit Scrooge and it’s one big reunion. And tears and all of that. Of course it doesn’t end there! Webby goes off on her own again to find Lena.

And this is where I leave off because this is too long and I got carried away (also that last part hasn’t been thought out). I am so sorry. If you read all of that, bless you, I love you. Also I think this might be my most thought out AU so far?

[silvanable]

Sweetest Gift : Shingen Takeda

me before writing this : ah, yes, cute fluff time for my husbando. something i would do for his birthday? baking. i would absolutely bake something for that sexy sweet-tooth fiend.

me as i was writing this : wHEN DID WE INVENT BUTTER? WAIT I CAN USE APPLESAUCE— SHIT WHAT ABOUT CHOCOLATE? I CAN SAY WE GOT THAT FROM SPAIN. WHAT’S A 16TH CENTURY OVEN LOOK LIKE?? CREAM CHEESE IS TOO MODERN I CAN’T MAKE THAT!

not to mention i had one way that this was supposed to go and instead i took 3 devours, a u-turn, and then ended up at a different destination. bUT OH WELL.

and i finished it fairly quickly and then went to edit and what do i do? add 5 more pages of my shamelessly simping my heart out haha.

ANYWAYS ENJOY THIS SHAMELESS SELF INDULGENT MESS FOR OUR BELOVED TIGER OF KAI!

↪  GUIDELINES

✒ tags : shingen x oc, fluff, shameless self insert, we got off track and it got long

✒ warnings : n/a

✒ notif crew : @oikame​

✒ word count : 4,429

Sometimes, just sometimes, she forgot how different her time and this time was. There were things that she desperately missed about the future, but could live without them. That is until it turned out she really needed them… Particularly butter, chocolate, and an electric oven. All the things the petite girl had grown up with and taken for granted until now.

At least she had planned for this early— having that meticulous but mostly anxious drive to prepare for things long before necessary. She was able to gather all her ingredients and learn the necessary skills for the surprise she wanted to bake.

It also helped to have friends in high places though.

If it was not for Masamune and Nobunaga mostly, and a lot of help from everyone else, it might have been impossible. Luckily she had the best time-traveling ninja on her side, as well as the support of all those at Kasuyagama. It was between her and Sasuke’s uncanny knowledge of ingredients and historical markers together, as well as Nobunaga’s influence over foreign trades, that everything fell into place.

Now it was a matter of keeping it all secret. Shingen, after all, was eerily on par with Mistuhide’s tactical and informational gathering abilities. Lying outright was a definite no but without extreme care, he would find out.

Dancing around the topic was not as hard as she expected, then again being evasive or vague on certain things was almost second nature. After all, when one had four other siblings of varying ages, you had to be quick, not-quite-truthful, and convincing when it came to getting or staying out of trouble.

Any time the subject would get too close to becoming an interrogation, she would always change the subject to what Shingen wanted for his birthday. Of course, each time she was answered with another smooth but cheesy line, how he only wanted to spend the day with her. It was a heartwarming thing but she wanted to do more for him, something more than her words or the little bits of artistry she would leave for him to show her affections.

There were a number of things within her arsenal of creativity that she could do but after their trip to the future, she had kept a particular idea close.

Shingen had taken an affinity to the vast array of sweets from the future. Whether he realized it or not, she had been carefully taking notes on what he enjoyed the most. Of course, with the limitation of certain ingredients not being invented or hard to come by in 16th Japan, improvisation was necessary.

Now it only came down to what she was going to make, which at this rate seemed to be every available confection that could come to mind. 

At current, it was truffles, applesauce which was a necessary substitute, and a sinfully hopefully delicious applesauce cake from her Oma’s recipe she could barely remember. At this rate, she might continue her baking spiral and attempt the first edible glitter in the world.

When night came around, the petite girl had rushed off and excused herself to go ‘work’ to finish before tomorrow morning. That was true in part, except that work involved fighting with sugar in the kitchen.

It was probably not the best time to bake but the quiet stillness of the night was an ally. Many people by now would have retired to rest, so it made it easy to move around and do what she needed. Granted, the darkness that stretched over the land also extended into the room the girl needed. Nothing a few quaint candles could not fix nor a nice, warming, bright fire that illuminated all necessary things.

Besides the occasional hum, she was alone with herself and the night. It was far too cold now, being practically December, so there were no nightly sounds from any nocturnal companions. At most, the noises that could be heard were uncontained swears, the crunching of chocolate under a knife, and the occasional hollow ring when she stirred the mixture a little too aggressively.

“I will never call Nobunaga an insufferable asshat behind his back again,” She murmured to herself in the kitchen, “And I will forever worship Masamune’s kitchen skills, he makes it look so easy.” She paused on mixing her ingredients to brush fallen strands of her brown and pink hair from her face, the stubborn few that refused to stay up like she wanted.

She reached off to the side, her hand fumbled across the surface for the sugar. When her fingers reached the edge of the container, she rather haphazardly, pulled it over towards her. A mess she nearly caused when she underestimated the weight and almost sent sugar to dust the floors.

“Oh shit!” Luck would have it no one was around to hear such an unladylike swear to leave her. Equally lucky, she managed to balance the sugar into her arm before she dropped it.

By agreement, Kenshin and Yoshimoto were supposed to distract Shingen for the evening. Sasuke and Yukimura were busy setting things up for the celebration. And she, well she was baking in the growing darkness praying to whatever deity was listening that Shingen would not come looking for her. After all, she had told him she would be busy working and would be done very late because she wanted to spend his birthday with him.

That still did not stop her from stilling every time there was an ominous creak or peculiarly loud howl of the wind. She would pause with a tilt of her head towards the cracked door to listen for the approach of footsteps. Either able to dismiss them being nothing or that the speed and weight of the footfall were not Shingen’s and she would continue.

There were soft voices in the distance this time but too far for her to make out clearly. She shrugged and returned to her mixture. If anything, it would likely be one of the guards who found her in here when they came for a late night snack. She had run into plenty of them like that because they all seemed to have the same thought… which was just their stomach demanding food late in the night.

The bowl was put down with a thud and she turned. Her ingredients all assorted on the counter, just out of reach, with a few measuring tools lying around.

Most of which were left from the evening when she had attempted to make applesauce. It had been a mess, mostly because the help she employed was intent on making a mess rather than cooking. Who was she kidding, she threw the first fistful of sugar. Really she had asked Yukimura and Sasuke for help because it would have taken too long to peel and mash all the apples. That and the fact she hated the texture and taste of applesauce was another big thing, so she needed special guinea pigs to taste test for her before she accidentally poisoned a cake or two.

When the monstrous experiment of a cake was nestled into the oven to cook and the truffles were set aside, it was fairly late into the night.

With a sigh, the petite girl stepped out from the kitchen, and into the cool winter air outside. Brown eyes flitted across the glowing garden, covered in a light layer of powdery snow from the earlier flurry. Her fingers deftly tugged at the collar of her kimono, loosening it and revealing further skin to be greeted by the cold air.

It was a wonder to her how anyone survived before having air conditioning or heaters. Then again, she would not complain after spending so long in a room with a roaring fire. The cold was something she would greet openly but not too much, seeing as she could not get sick until after tomorrow. Still… The snow was tempting to just dive into to cool down.

She took a seat on the edge of the raised walkway, lifting her eyes up to the sky. Stars danced and twinkled, seemingly waving down at her, as clouds lazily breezed across the open sky. The half moon greeted her once again for the night, except this time further in the west, as it descended into the horizon.

That was a sign to how late it was, how low the celestial sphere dipped to signal that sunrise was not far behind its farewell.

The nice was pleasant though. The chill in the air was refreshing and shooed away any sleepiness that had threatened her in the kitchen, enveloped by the warmth of the fire she worked with.

Besides, she could sleep later. There were no rules against a nap in the morning or afternoon before the banquet Kenshin and the others had set up to celebrate Shingen’s birthday. Not sleeping was not entirely uncommon for her either. Staying up late into the night, or dare she say morning, was an old habit that was not entirely her fault. Besides, it was for an important reason she was up right now and she had to use all the time she had to finish her surprise for… well, the man who had stolen her heart completely.

Granted right now, having a break made her realize how much she would have loved to curl into his arms and snuggle against his warm chest. Steal the warmth he radiated to battle the cold she allowed to crawl over her skin.

Her head nodded down, eyes drifted close at the pleasing fantasy. Her body leaned forward and her bare feet caressed over the snow. She jumped up with a start at the sudden damp, frigidness against her skin.

A laugh erupted from her lips as she rubbed her eyes. “Okay, break time is over!” She stretched the wariness out of her bones, not daring to give in to the desire to just hibernate through the pleasant winter season, “Back to the finishing touches!” She turned on her heel, entering the kitchen once more to check on her confections.

Light began to peek over the horizon. Stars began to fade as the deep sapphire of the sky began to fade and instead bled into luxurious shades of red, orange, and pink.

The girl was quiet as she snuck through the halls, careful where she placed her feet as to not make a sound. Luckily she had memorized which boards would creak and groan under her weight after sneaking around at night so often. She made a point to avoid the creaky betrayers, especially as she began to near her and Shingen’s shared room.

A tray in one hand, she slid open the shoji door, almost painfully slow as to not abruptly wake the sleeping figure in the room with any sound.

Teeth sank into her pink bottom lip, quieting the giggle that threatened to escape her as she crept into the room. She knelt beside the futon, the dark material of her kimono pulled aside as she sat on her knees.

The tray, decorated with the special sweets, tea, and fruit was placed safely to the side.

Brown eyes fell to Shingen’s face, admiring the soft way his lips parted and how his chest rose and fell with each deep breath.

He looked so peaceful and calm, she almost did not want to wake him.

A soft smile found its way onto her lips. A tan hand delicately touched over his forehead and brushed the strands of auburn locks from his handsome features. Her loving gaze trailed over his features, following an invisible line over his lips to his jaw, down his neck, and to the exposed skin of his chest that peeked through his sleeping kimono.

The trace of a scar, even in the dimness of the room, could be seen in contrast over the skin of his chest. Unlike all the other scars his battle-worn body bore, this one was the one she was most grateful for, because it had scared her the most. Yet now it meant only one thing to her, that this beautiful and infuriatingly charming man was alive and breathing still, so she could love and adore him for many more years.

She was overwhelmed by happiness, a spark that ignited in her chest and spread from her heart to her fingers and toes. Surely she was dreaming, to have someone as wonderful as him, and to have such a chance to celebrate his life with him.

Slowly, she bowed her head. Soft lips pressed gently against the side of his temple. Warm eyes fluttered closed as her lips lingered. A small, loving smile graced her lips as she barely pulled away.

“Hey, it’s time to wake up, birthday boy,” She whispered against his skin.

Her grin stretched further over her lips as he let out a low, groggy groan. Then she was greeted by his delightfully smoky eyes. The wariness in them faded the moment those silver hues met her dark ones, brought to life with a light that she wished she could bask in forever.

“I will never tire of waking up to see my goddess’s shining smile,” His voice was rough and deep from sleep. How she adored the way in made her heart leap in her chest, eager to listen and hear more of anything he said, so long as it was towards her.

If possible, she smiled wider and stroked his hair gently. “Good morning to you too.”

The smile Shingen gave her caused a giddy feeling to take her over, a mixture of her eagerness and happiness. She should have been ashamed at how easily he made her feel like a little schoolgirl but she could hardly care with how loving that smile was.

She dipped her head again, pressing a chaste kiss to his lips. A fleeting touch she almost rescinded to indulge in him deeper, but she had to behave herself.

“C’mon, sit up now, I want to give you something.” Her petite form shuffled back a bit.

“Oh, something for me?” It was unfair how sinful and tempting his voice was as he shifted up onto his arm to watch her.

The edge of the blanket slid down, further revealing a frame hidden only by a thin layer of cotton. Her eyes raked down the outline of his figure. The lazy, satisfied smirk he offered her shook her back to her senses, somewhat at least. She tore her gaze away.

It was a lot warmer suddenly. How strange.

He caught her cheek with his free hand, gently denying her escape, and forced her gaze back to him. The sultry look, focused solely on her, was enough for her to let out a breath— one she had not realized she was holding. The smoldering heat, she knew now, was what radiated off him and the sinful way his eyes glazed over her features.

 He guided her back down, joining their lips once again. The kiss, unlike before, was far deeper. His lips moved against hers in sensual skillfulness, drawing her further into him. Her hands pressed against his jaw to cup his face. The cool digits trace slowly over his skin as she drowned into him, savouring him.

It was only the need to breathe that caused them to part. Her faced flushed as her chest rose and lungs greedily sucked in air. Their gazes remained fix on each other, Shingen seemingly satisfied with how out of breath he left her. A callous thumb brushed over her lips gently.

“I do hope it’s you.” His hand lowered from her face, following the curve of her shoulder and down her arm until her hand rested in his.

A giggle escaped her as she moved to her knees, reluctantly allowing her fingers to slip from his, as she crawled away to grab the tray she had brought in.

“Well now you’ve spoiled tonight’s present,” She teased, allowing her fingers to curl into his palm, taking in his warmth.

“And what sort of sweetness would you offer otherwise?”

Her heart jumped, his choice of words seemingly all too specific. But surely she was overthinking it, right?

“I wonder what it might be.” The teasing tone and look he cast her made her flush.

How unfair he was, being so astute and observation. Her midnight snacking sampling of the truffles might have been a bad idea but she had been hungry. There was no doubt she had traces of that confection on her lips.

“You’re awful, it was a surprise!” She playful stuck her tongue at him as she shuffled away, “And I was doing so good too!” She returned to his side, “But despite that—” She presented the tray lavished with a surplus of sweets, “—I made you these.”

The way Shingen’s face had lit up with surprise and awe stole her breath. He was truly unfair to be able to make her heart beat like it did and to make her chest swell with giddy excitement.

 Grey eyes flickered up to meet her eyes. Suddenly she felt rather shy under the loving and admirable gaze. The attention and emotions fixed so intently on her made her squeamish. She fidgeted in place, tearing her dark eyes away as she sank into embarrassment, as her face flushed.

“I know it’s not huge but I know how much you loved the sweets, so I wanted to make you some that I grew up around or making. Plus you liked so many of the sweets from the future and I wanted to share that with you—” Was she talking faster, or was that her imagination? “— despite not having everything exactly at our disposal. But just to show you how much I really love you and am so grateful that you’re here so I can make them for you and tell you happy birthday.”

She could still feel his gaze on her while she frantically allowed the words to fall from her mouth. Heat rose up her neck and to her cheeks, dusting the tawny color of her face dusted over with red. 

At this rate, the way he was looking at her was going to cause her to implode on herself. Perhaps a run and dive into the snow would do some good to cool her down but she was afraid it would melt if she went near it now.

As silly as it was, his loving attention was still something that flustered her and it did not help she was confessing her feelings through words— she was only good with those when they were written, not spoken.

His callous hands brushed over her own softer ones as he took the tray from her. Fingers delicately guided her chin up to meet his gaze, one that was so soothing but tempting her further.

“And surely you are a goddess— bestowing me with such a beautiful sight and lovely blessings when I should be giving offers to you.” His lips pressed feather-light kisses from her ear to the corner of her mouth.

“Shingen!”

She let out a girlish squeal she was not proud of as his lips stole her own.

“It’s your birthday and—mph!—I’m trying to pour my heart out here!” She tried to pull away from his lips, only finding herself distracted with each time she tried to speak. She could not escape though, not unless he wanted her to, and she could not resist the flurry of affections pressed against her lips again and again to silence her protests.

When she did manage to push away, laughter bubbled from her lips, and she was met with a charming smile. How effortlessly he could make her flustered and steal it away with a touch or a kiss. She both hated and loved him for it.

“And you’re doing a wonderful job.” Fingers brushed through her unusually colored hair and lingered to twirl the pink ends around them.

“I’ll just write it in a letter, that’ll be easier than and you would have to listen to me stumble so ungracefully through it.” She covered her face with a nervous laugh.

Shingen pulled her hands away, laying gentle kisses over her knuckles as he grinned. “No, continue, I quite enjoy how cutely flustered you’re getting.” Of course, he would find her stumbling endearing. What a lovable jerk.

She huffed, trying to hide a smile, and pointed to the tray. “Stop teasing and try them!” Her order was more of a childish demand, “I slaved literally all night and you don’t even know what it took to get half of these ingredients!” It might have started out as a scolding but before she had finished, her words were broken by laughter.

“Oh, so this is that ‘very important’ work you had?” Shingen mused, a twinkle in his eyes, “And that trip to Azuchi?”

She did not have to answer, he already knew, that look said he always knew.

“You’re so unfair! I tried so hard to keep it a secret and be subtle!” She whined, “How did you know?”

“Well,” Shingen said carefully as he picked up one of the truffles, “I do now, especially after such a sweet kiss from your lips,” He offered her a smirk, “And Yuki rushed me away from the kitchen last night saying you were busy when I went looking to pull you to bed.” His amused gaze flickered from her to the confection between his fingers.

So much for subtly. She was definitely going to throw her sandals at Yukimura later for that.

Shingen popped the sweet into his mouth, allowing the sweet chocolaty flavor to coat over his tongue as it practically melted in his mouth. A satisfied hum filled the air as he reached for another one of the delightful chocolate bites.

All while the girl wiggled eagerly in her seat, an unspoken question reflected on her face.

“Delicious,” He purred the praise praised.

She sighed in relief. There should not have been anything to worried about to begin with, seeing as it was not hard to please a man who would eat anything so long as it involved sugar. But there was always that underlying anxiousness to whatever she did for him and she had worked so hard, so she only wanted it to be perfect.

A truffled was pressed to her lips, the man responsible smiling sweetly at her.

“Open,” The order was obeyed almost immediately, allowing the tasty morsel to melt into sweetness her mouth.

“It was worth all the trouble,” She mumbled from behind her hand with a smile.

It was not long before the tea and confections had been finished off, leaving the tray empty. Something she took great pride in.

She moved to grab the tray but was stopped by a hand on her wrist. In the next moment, she was pulled into a warm, comforting embrace. There was no protest from her, she only nestled into his chest and wrapped her arms around him in return.

“This was a lovely way to wake up,” Shingen hummed, his voice rumbling through his chest. Her eyes closed to listen to his heart and the soft rumble of his voice, a smile on her lips.

“I’m glad. And there’s plenty left in the kitchen. Just don’t tell Yuki I let you have some already.” She giggled against him.

“Of course not,” Shingen replied, laughter in his voice.

Now with the petite girl trapped in his arms, he fell back into the futon, which had began to cool with the absence of their warm presences.

“Wait—!” She made to protest but he shushed her immediately, lips finding her own to steal whatever complaints or excuse might befall those lips next.

Clearly kissing her into submission was his only choice. So when she broke away from the kiss, his lips immediately sought hers again, pulling her further into his warmth and inviting her to melt into him.

“I’m afraid I’m still quite tired,” The playfulness in his tone suggested otherwise, “And my darling goddess has worked all throughout the night without rest.”

She rolled her eyes. “If this is a guilt trip it won’t work. Nothing you can say will get me to stay. I’ve got more to set up for today still.”

“Oh, but it’s my birthday is it not? I can request you stay here with me and rest a little while longer. You would not deny me of my wishes on my special day, would you?” Even his pout was sensual and charming.

Brown eyes met grey ones as she looked up at him. Her glare was far too cute to be threatening and it spoke volumes to him. Apparently, he was playing the right angle and they knew it would work against her. She would never be so cruel as to deny him.

“It will be your fault if I don’t wake up for the party then—” Her eyes widened and she gave him a wary glance, “—you knew about that already too, right?”

He laughed. The sound filled the room with warmth, despite the cold outside, and vibrated through his chest, enveloping her as she hugged him.

“I did,” He replied, “So will you stay, my darling goddess?”

How could she resist such a sweet request and that roguishly charming smile?

She hid her face in his chest, “You’re so mean.” He was anything but mean, but she had a right to whine against his charm.

Fingers laced in her hair, rubbing soothing circles through the curiously colored locks. “You need your rest, I can’t have you drifting to sleep during the banquet—” A pair of brown eyes peeked up at him, “—Or tonight when I’ll indulge in the rest of my gift.” And promptly those eyes disappeared again.

A low chuckle rumbled through his chest, he could feel the heat radiate from her skin. How cute she was.

She pinched his arm in response.

“Be quiet, I’m trying to sleep,” She scolded, the embarrassed tone only barely muffled by his kimono.

“Of course, you will need it…” He paused as she settled against him, “Because you won’t be resting tonight.” His provocative tone left nothing to her imagination, he knew.

“SHINGEN!” She slapped his arm gently, face flushed red as she glared at him. That glare was anything but meaningful, he knew, because those murky, night eyes betrayed how eager she was for night to fall.

Besides, he truly wanted was her.

She was the sweetest gift after all.

[beware-of-you-98]

Hello yes u are an amazing human being and I just read your angsty Em hcs and they made me feel pain and I would like to feel more pain so... I’ve come to request Emily childhood angst hcs? Your headcanons are adorable and also your Jemily at the cat cafe was adorable :)

I’m about to create an environment so angsty (also i decided to focus on her coming out/coming to terms with being gay rather than focus on her childhood in general since i already had some hcs about it!! n this is au as hell bc i don’t care about canon x)

note: whoops this got long and angsty and way past emily’s childhood oops

tw: drug use, homophobia, abortion mention, drinking, smoking (ye i still don’t know if i should put a tw for that but i do anyway 🤷‍♀️)... yeah the first half of this isn’t happy at all

emily knows from a really young age she’s different

since she’s homeschooled up until she’s 12, her only other interaction with people is with nannies and the teachers the ambassador hires

but her only other interaction to the outside world is through story books

all the princesses in her story books want to be rescued by handsome knights or princes

emily always wants to be the one to rescue the pretty princesses

her nannies buy her disney princess merch and disney movies

emily’s favorite princess is belle or jasmine bc they’re so pretty 🥺

she doesn’t think anything is wrong with it until she’s talking with her nanny about how pretty jasmine is and her nanny’s only response is a short “oh”

emily doesn’t know why, but the way she says it makes her feel guilty and so she stops talking about jasmine

and when the nanny starts to talk about aladin, she barely pays attention

(she thinks jasmine deserves better than him anyway— aladin lies to her right away and how is that supposed to be true love?)

emily keeps her thoughts about girls to herself after that day

and compartmentalizes those feelings because she hates the guilt associated with them

it’s not until she’s enrolled in the all girl’s boarding school that the feelings come back and it’s almost too hard to ignore

every other girl talks about their boyfriend or guys

emily never feels the need to talk about guys; they hold no appeal to her

(she talks about guys once or twice to try and fit in, but her stomach always flips in unpleasant ways and she always feels bad because she knows she’s lying to the other girls and herself)

her heart doesn’t flutter around boys and they don’t make her feel anything

audrey from her chemistry class makes her heart skip a beat and butterflies to erupt in her stomach

her hair is soft, her laugh is so cute and everytime she gives emily a hug, she can’t help but melt in her arms

when she kisses emily in the woods behind the school, lips tasting of strawberry chapstick, it’s as if things suddenly make sense

kissing audrey makes emily feel like she’s finally found a part of herself she didn’t even know was there and it’s glorious

when the ambassador drags her off to rome, emily snaps

she goes off the deep end because, after all the years she’s been crying for her mother’s attention, it’s kissing audrey that makes her finally pay emily any attention?????

the school emily’s enrolled in is co-ed and she immediately clings to the first group to pay her any attention

she becomes a hardcore partier

she skips class

she smokes

does drugs (weed and on the occasion, ecstasy, but once her friends convince her to do a line of coke)

(she hates the way it makes her nose run so she doesn’t do it again)

drinks and gets blackout drunk every single chance she gets

the ambassador is a lot more present at this point in her life and emily starts fights with her every night

she doesn’t even know what she’s doing anymore

her life is spiraling and she feels hopeless

and when anyone, anyone, shows her any attention, she throws herself at them

she sleeps with one of her male friends once and ends up pregnant and suddenly her life comes to a screeching halt

she’s terrified and keeps it hidden from her mother

matthew is her saving grace and never judges her once

he even holds her hand when she gets the abortion

afterwards, it’s just the two of them

matthew has to sneak out to see her because his parents loathe emily, but he manages to do it

they always go to the local park and split a joint, a cigarette or a bottle of booze between the two of them and sit in silence

emily breaks down to him one night and tells him she doesn’t know what’s wrong with her

she feels so lost and doesn’t even recognize herself anymore

matthew holds her as she cries, silently comforting her

and when she asks him what she should do, he just simply suggests that she live her life for herself and stop trying to please everyone around her

“if you’re not happy living a life trying to please other people, try living for yourself”

while the advice might be cliché, emily swears its the best she’s ever got

she works her ass off the rest of her he years (i forgot what it’s called over seas oops) not bc the ambassador wants her to, but bc emily wants to do better for herself

when the ambassador moves her back over seas, she get accepted into yale

she doesn’t label herself in college and she’s comfortable with that

she only has like one boyfriend at the start of her freshman year

but she wasn’t feeling it, so she breaks up with him and starts to date her roommate

n then she goes steady with fiona duncan for the remainder of the time she’s in college

she immediately enrolls in the fbi academy when she graduates bc she doesn’t want to do politics

as soon as she’s certified, she’s assigned the undercover position as lauren reynolds

she doesn’t like to think about those years bc they’re just as confusing as her teenage years

she likes to separate herself from lauren as much as possible bc she feels as if lauren is the embodiment of the past she wants so desperately to leave behind

she barely looks back once she’s done with the undercover mission

she spends a few years finding jobs to keep herself busy

then she joins the bau

its the first time in a while she’s around people she genuinely enjoys spending time with

she’s comfortable with the team within a few months of joining

it’s here when she officially starts to label herself as a lesbian!!

(it feels so right to say she’s a lesbian— it sounds great coming from her mouth and it makes her feel warm and whole)

she kinda keeps it hidden at first but also kinda doesn’t

no one really asks until they’re all hanging out at te bar and penelope points to a group of guys and asks her which one she thinks is cuter

emily just shrugs and gestures to the female bartender

penelope and derek take her to gay bars a lot!!

and after some persuasion, jj and reid tag along

emily notices how jj kinda stays behind at their table instead of interacting with people and is like ???

but then she notices the longing gaze and the same sad expression on the blonde’s face as she watches everyone confidently mingling around and just... knows

when she drives jj back to her apartment later that night (they carpooled), emily finally asks jj what’s wrong

and jj just goes “do you ever feel like there’s a part of you that’s been hidden so long and all you want to do is just... let it out? but you’re too scared of what others might think and that you’ll lose so many people because they can’t accept who you are? but you don’t want to live that life anymore because you’re not happy and you just... don’t know what to do?”

it sounds like rambling

but emily’s heart goes out to jj because she knows exactly how that feels

emily tells jj the same thing matthew told her all those years ago— “if you’re not happy living the life others want you to, why don’t you start living for yourself”

jj just whispers “is that what you did? wasn’t it scary?”

emily tells her of course it was!! but she had a really good friend by her side to help make it less scary and that she’ll 100% be that person for jj if she wants her to

jj comes up to her a few weeks later in private and comes out as bisexual

she’s trembling and she’s nervous but emily just beams and tells her how proud she is of her

a few years later, they’re gfs bc i said so

n emily’s finally happy!!

she has people aroun her that finally love and accept her for being herself

and that’s all she ever wanted

[tylerwritez]

7:45 p.m. Sunday June 20th

Okay well... writing about the entirety of my day is gonna be. Quite the task.

Whatever. I'm dedicated to making this blog A Thing.

Today was Father's Day, so the first thing I did was get up and go downstairs. Gave my dad his presents. He made us pancakes. (I definitely ate too much today... but tommorow is monday so itll be easier to restrict)

We are, watched youtube, then we drove to Wabuman Lake. Idk,, the drive was just that: a typical car ride in which I struggle to find "car friendly" songs, aka songs that everyone will like... aka anything but metal and vocaloid... aka Radiohead, Weezer and Soda Stereo XD

When we got there, we rented a yellow paddleboat, which is this clunky plastic boat that you pedal to move, like some weird water bicycle. It was sunny, and honestly? I've always found being on the water to be calming. After that, we got ice cream (I got Blueberry Cheesecake flavour, my sister R got Cookies N Cream, and my dad got Burgundy Cherry)

I noted that there were at least 2 historical buildings there, along with... I forgot what I was gonna say. Nothing important.

Oh yeah, lots of cool old shiny cars.

We drove back. Got home, exhausted. I cleaned a bit. Idk. Didnt do much until after supper. Since we had fast food for lunch, we only ate a piece of bread and fruit smoothies for supper. We went out, I got a monster XD even tho my parents told me not to...

I got home, took a shower. While I was in the shower my dad got pissed at me for eating some of his chocolate but HE WAS SO SO SO MAD I was thinking to myself he cant be this mad over some choclate but you never know with my parents... they kinda hate me but also dont at the same time it's weird and hard to navigate.

Anwyays when I went downstairs he just. Seemed to have forgotten it ever existed and I mean, if he didnt mention it I wasn't gonna either. I did some homework then "went to sleep" aka went to my room, turned off the light, and pretended to sleep but actually talked to people online

People keep inviting me to hang out with them and I just hope my parents say yes to it all...

My friend Bee on Tuesday, Jay on Wednesday, on Saturday a group picnic...

If they say no to any of this I'll cry /hj

My talk with Jay tonight: I want to fuck him again RIGHT NOW. GET IN MY FUCKINF BED. RIGHT NOWWWW ugh. But also I noticed that since I explained one of my tone tags to him... HE USED ONE IN CONVO WITH ME. And idk. That made me so happy? I dont  know. I like how he proves consistently and constantly that he CARES about being considerate and cares about me.

That's a lot of the letter C but yeah.

And he said at some point that he missed

My body... and my shitty nerd gaming stuff and like. Omg he LIKES MY INTERESTS. I DIDNT BORE HIM TALKING ABOUT COMIC BOOKS AND VIDEO GAMES! SCORE. also he said he'd be down to cuddle without fucking which is. Great too... since I'm touchstarved and well... I call him Daddy. Nuff said.

As for Star... sometimes she just says shit that concerns me like it's nothing and I never know how to respond because I cant help her! I'm not a fucking mental health professional.

... when I told her mY shit she wasnt one either... why do I even try n help. Why dont I just tell her to go to therapy?

I'm angry at her a bit actually. She says shit like "haha just purged" and I'm like.... okay??? What do u want me to say to that.

Or like,,, I NEED TONE TAGS, OKAY??? I DO. this is mainly why I'm mad. She keeps making jokes without /j and I dont register them as jokes.... or maybe they aren't jokes at all and she just says they're jokes cos I get upset.

Sometimes instead of actually telling me how she feels, she uses this emoticon and... I dont understand what shes tryna tell me. And it keeps stressing me out. Idk. I told her look I dont understand it and she said "I'm tired of this Jude, it's a fucking emoticon" and like...

She tells me all the time no ur not overreacting dont let people tell you that you are and here she is. Telling me I'm overreacting. OUCH. THAT ACTUALLY MADE ME CRY IRL. STOP INVALIDATING MY FEELINGS PLEASE.

It actually  hurt me. Like I'm fr crying right now because. Ouch. How hard is it to just put a fucking "/j" after ur words? How hard is it to... use words and explain how u feel instead of giving me a straight faced emoticon. Its frustrating.

Also she keeps saying shit like "omg ur never horny what's wrong w u omg I'm the only one with a sex drive in this relationship how come u never initiate anything I need to fuck someone maybe *sends pic of model* maybe her" which like. A) is ignoring all the times I DID initiate stuff and B) makes me feel inadequate and like. I dont know. I'm tired of feeling like I'm not enough.

:/ I cant really be mad at her for my own brain being stupid.

Why am I so stupid? How come I never understand when people are joking? How come I have these weird things I do to feel comfortable? Why do I twitch and flap my wrists? Why is my ability to sleep restricted by the amount of weight on top of me (I need lots of weight)?

Why am I the worst person ever? I'm being 100 percent serious. My brain doesnt work! It doesnt. My emotions are too strong. They fuck everything up. I hate myself. Like, when Star said "I'm tired of this Jude, it's a fucking emoticon", I started crying. But when Jay said "I always want you to feel comfortable around me", I immediately felt such love toward him and I told him I love you... but I had to say it was as friends. Cos we have a "friends with benefits" thing going on... not even an actual relationship.

Well now I'm sad that he doesnt like me romantically but whatever. Hes too perfect and sweet anywayssss he deserves better than me.

Wait. Where does that leave me?

Alone? Again?

Alone?

ALONE????

Maybe I deserve it... but I actually genuinely cant live like that. I cant. I cant live. Without love. My parents fucked me up like that 🤪

But also I realized that I'm a lot happier in good relationships where people show me they love me and care about me and such.

FUCK JAY JUST TOLD ME HOW MUCH HE LIKES ME... even if it's just as a friendship thing.... I appreciate it so much. Hes so fucking sweet it hurts. I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM SO SO MUCH. he told me, our sex can be rough but our relationship has to be built off trust and respect... LITERALLY FUCK ME RIGHT NOW.

Update we are now officially "best friends forever" but we also kiss and fuck and cuddle okay. That's a thing. I LOVE HIM. it's okay though. I don't know I said yeah let's be bffs then I physcially cringed. It's okay though. I'll be fine. It functions as a sexy romance thing anwyays.

I love him so much. Hes the best. Fucking hell. Hes the kindest person ever.

Also can Star please stop fucking with me. She said she'd stop using the emoticon and I said "thanks" and then she used a weird emoji to react to my thanks because she wanted to "acknowledge that she read my message without liking it".... oh so you dont like it??? What??? I said "okay" and she was like "yikes, you upset?" And I said idk cos I am but whatever and she USED ANOTHER SFUPID DUCKINF EMOTICON THAT I DONT UNDERSTAND WITH THE WORD OKAY OMFG. OMFG. PLEASE EXPLAIN WHAT THAT MEANDS. OH MY GODDDD. I'm angry.

Fucking hell. I just wish... whatever.

If Jay liked me ROMANTICALLY as well...  perfect life.

Whatever.

My parents have fucked me up really badly. I know so. Today I saw a comic where a kid started crying while getting yelled at and their mom HUGGED THEM. Omfg. If I cry when my parents yell at me they just yell more. The best thing I can do is stay quiet. Fucking hell. Fuck. I wish I got hugged. When I was upset.

Its 1:03 am. Fuck all this emotional turmoil I'm SLEEPING. Fuck this. FUCK MY PARENTS, FUCK STAR, FUCK MOVING AND FUCK SCHOOL. And FUCK STAR.

[writersrealmbts]

A Little Behind

Description: Being a single, adopted parent isn’t always easy, especially when Taehyung leaves for the few weeks Yoongi absolutely has to go into the office every day of the week, leading to him finding out about the few things he wasn’t ready for. Sanctuary Series: Big Changes, Little Life story.

Warnings: N/A.

Posted: 03/20/2019

Tags: Yoongi, Hybrid!Yoongi, Dad!Yoongi

Fluff and a little angst: 3,014 words

A/N: @bangtantannie, I already said it, but happy birthday. Have some Yoongi. Also, a week feels like forever for posting, and it hasn’t even actually been a week.

Yoongi finished cleaning and looked around worriedly for something more that might be amiss. Everything was clean and organized. Euny gurgled happily grabbing at the mobile Taehyung had made her. He smiled at her. “You miss your uncle Tae-tae, don’t you?” He took a picture and sent it to Taehyung. He knew Taehyung would appreciate it, especially with how hard he had found it to leave. It was only for two weeks, a trip to Europe to all of the castles and museums and anywhere else he could ever wish to go, courtesy of Becca and Micheal. Tae responded immediately with about twelve different emojis that Yoongi didn’t really know how to respond to. Euny chirped happily, making grabby hands at Yoongi. He picked her up. “It’s going to be okay, right, Euny? We’re going to like the babysitter, and you’re going to be an angel for her. Yeah?” She giggled, grabbing his nose and patting his cheek. He nuzzled her cheek. “My little kitten.” He held her close, trying to push back his anxiety at letting someone else take care of her. At letting someone into his home. Sure, he went through a highly accredited agency that both he and his family had researched. And the woman that was coming was actually a friend of Jimin’s fiance’s best friend, so she had been able to do some extra checks on the woman for Yoongi coming back with a report of graduating summa cum laude from a top university, with minimal stories of normal college stupidity, and a general respect from her peers as the mom of the group. Good things. All good things. But this was his baby. His precious Eunyeong, who’d already endured so much despite not even being a year old. Whoever abused her, hurt her, and threw her into a dumpster. A dumpster. After cutting off half of her tail and starving her. A baby. His baby. He didn’t want her getting hurt because he wasn’t careful enough when finding a temporary babysitter. Not that she was taking care of Eunyeong today, but instead meeting him and Eunyeong “Ow!” He cried out, leaning into where she was trying to tug the earring out of his ear. “Forgot to take that out, didn’t I princess?” He winced and carefully pried it out of her fingers.

She gurgled and released the earring, her stubby tail flicking stiffly. He took her into her nursery and carefully set her down, combing her tail because it made her wiggle, giggle, and purr. Then her hair because it was starting to grow out but tended to get wild and he wanted to make a good impression. He didn’t want her to think that he didn’t take good care of her. He took the best care of her. The best he could, anyway. The buzzer sounded and he picked Euny up, carrying her over to buzz them in. He took a deep breath when she knocked on the door, then opened it and tried to smile. “Hello.” “Mr. Min? Hi, I’m Bethany.” The girl offered her hand, smiling brightly. “Yoongi, and this is Eunyeong,” Yoongi said, managing to shake her hand. Euny’s tail was still, ears back slightly, her normal reaction to strangers, but her ear flicked slightly with interest and her nose twitched. Bethany’s whole demeanor softened. “Hello, Eunyeong.” She held out a hand. Eunyeong sniffed the air, then buried her face into Yoongi’s shoulder with a strange sound. Yoongi winced a little. “She’s a little shy. Sorry.” “It’s okay, I’ve been informed of her history and it’s to be expected.” She pulled out a small stuffed animal. “So she can get accustomed to my scent.” He nodded, gesturing for her to follow him into the living room. Suddenly he felt like his place was a mess, and poorly fit for a baby. He didn’t have much for her, mostly the essentials plus things that his family had given him and Eunyeong for Christmas. “Sorry, it’s a bit of a mess.” “Not at all. Can I see the nursery as well? Just so that I know where it is?” “Oh, right, this way.” He nervously gave her a tour of the apartment, finally stopping at Eunyeongs nursery. It felt bare now that he looked at it with her here. A crib, a chair, and a dresser that Taehyung had helped fit with a changing station. She looked around, nodded, checking the closet and noting where he kept the diapers and such. “And it’s just for the next two weeks, yes?” “Yeah, normally I can work from home but there are a couple big projects right now and I need to be there. Plus I have a couple deadlines coming up.” She nodded, then came over. “May I?” She asked, gesturing to Eunyeong. He swallowed, then handed her over to Bethany. Euny mewled, but didn’t protest much otherwise once she saw him right there. Bethany held her, gently rubbing her back until Eunyeong relaxed enough look at her. “I have a couple of things I like to use when babysitting, is it okay if I bring them? It’s just things like a white noise machine, a boppy and a sensory blanket.” He blinked at her. “A white noise machine, a what and a what?” “A…boppy…um, it’s pillow that’s a U-shape, helps babies sit up and she seems a little weaker in her spine, probably from the malnourishment when she was younger. Plus it can make them feel like they’re being held and gives you a free hand. And a sensory blanket, it’s made up of fabrics and different textures that stimulate the senses. Babies her age are always fascinated by different textures. Hybrids tend to like the softer textures, which is why I have two different blankets, but they’re still fascinated by the regular sensory blanket.” She examined the end of Euny’s tail, then brushed the end of her braid over Euny’s forehead, earning the wide-eyed surprised look Yoongi adored. Or he would adore it if he wasn’t still blinking as he tried to catch up. “Um…I guess that’s fine.” He mentally noted to ask Emma or Becca about that. “Um, a white noise machine?” “For while she naps, the white noise isn’t overwhelming, but can cover sounds from outside or in the apartment that might otherwise wake her. A lot of parents use them at night as well, because they can still hear if their child cries, but the sounds of the city are muted.” She already had Eunyeong hesitantly purring. “Do you have a stroller?” “Yes,” He answered, grateful he could answer that positively. There was so much he didn’t have…maybe he needed to do more research and go shopping. “Mr. Min? Are you okay?” “I just…didn’t realize there was so much…” He gestured around the room. “I’m just realizing that I’m a little under-prepared.” “Not at all, everybody has different ways of taking care of their kids. This is just the way I know. You’re obviously taking amazing care of her. I saw the police report and she’s so much healthier. She’s practically glowing with health. She has everything she needs.” Bethany handed Eunyeong back to him, smiling as Euny purred loudly in his arms, snuggling into him and letting her eyes snap shut. He still felt guilty. Other babies had cute nurseries, with decorations and color. Euny’s nursery had white walls, grey carpet, a black crib, and an oak chair and dresser. The only color came from her pink sheets and the blue changing station. No cute artwork, most of her toys were in the living room, and it felt so bland and…temporary. He didn’t want this to be temporary. He sort of droned through the rest of it while she went over her own outline of how she works and such and while he registered that he didn’t have any problem with it, he also wasn’t able to think of any sort of questions to ask. “Alright, if you’re okay with all of that, then I’ll be here tomorrow at eight?” He nodded. “Yeah. Eight. Or eight-thirty. Either works.” “I’ll be here at eight then. First day is always the hardest. For both the parent and the child.” She said goodbye to Euny and then him, leaving about an hour after arriving. He stood there in a bit of a stupor, then laid Eunyeong down to sleep so he could go do more research. That feeling of being just short of adequate rising the more he looked at pictures of nurseries and toys and equipment. He picked up his phone before he could think about it, listening to it ring and not entirely sure who he was calling. “Yoongi? Everything okay?” “Why didn’t you tell me about all of this stuff?” Yoongi burst out, barely registering the voice as Emma’s. “Sensory stuff? White noise machine? Whatever the hell a boppy is! And her nursery! It looks so temporary and I don’t want this to be temporary but I don’t know how to fix it and am I a terrible parent?!” “Yoongi, I need you breathe. Calming breaths, preferably. You’re an excellent parent. And I’m sorry I didn’t mention sensory toys or activities. It honestly slipped my mind. Besides, a boppy is just a fancy word for a pillow, and there’s one in that tub of supplies I gave you—” He went over, flipping the tub over so that everything came out. “Along with a night-light for her room to replace the one you didn’t like, and some of Nari’s clothes that she didn’t ruin. Do you want me to come out?” He hesitated, staring at the pillow in his hand. “No. Just…am I enough for her?” “Yes. You’re more than enough for her, and you give her more than what she needs to be happy and healthy. You’re a great parent, Yoongi. You’re just, still learning. That’s part of the whole, being a new parent thing. She’s happy, and healthy. The only thing temporary about her nursery is that it looking the way it does is temporary. It’s fixable, and frankly, you’ll want it to be more neutral as she grows older because she’s going to change her mind every month about what her favorite things are. She’ll be in a regular bed eventually, and then her room will change. So don’t worry so much about how it looks. She’s not going to remember how her nursery looked as a baby.” “Right…” “As for sensory toys and blankets, well, I made most of the ones for the triplets. I’ll send Taehyung some links and when he comes back the two of you can make some things. I’ll send a blanket like I had for the triplets in the mail, alright?” “Yeah. Yeah, alright.” “You’re okay?” “Yeah.” “Good. You liked the babysitter?” “I think she’s more competent than I am.” “-Euny will still love you more, don’t worry. Anything else I need to talk you through?” “No. Sorry, thanks.” “Don’t worry about it. I have to go. I’ve got three little troublemakers and their father no-where in sight.” “Yikes, bye.” “Bye.” Yoongi sighed, doing his best to let go of the worries. He took the night-light into her nursery, replacing the one that was too harsh and bright and that he had covered in tape to fix with the Moon-shaped night-light. Eunyeong started purring in her sleep as his scent reached her, so he went over and checked to see how asleep she was, rubbing her belly when she seemed to be dozing. He looked down at his precious baby, rubbing her belly until her purrs sort of faded and she was in a deep slumber. He took his sweatshirt off and hung it on the corner of the crib so that some of his fresh scent was with her, then backed out of the room, taking the monitor with him though he didn’t expect her to wake up for a while. He texted Taehyung, telling him that he was going through his artwork, then proceeded to do so, finally finding some nature scene that Taehyung must not have cared much about but was pretty and colorful without being overwhelming. Yoongi took it and went to his own room, digging in the closet until he found his tools and decided to hang the painting once Eunyeong was awake. Taehyung had sent ten texts by the time Yoongi checked again. Yoongi sent him a picture of the nature scene, simply saying he was going to hang it in Eunyeong’s nursery. He assumed Taehyung was done complaining when all he received was a smiley face and a thumbs up. Eunyeong woke up about an hour later, which was a little longer than her nap normally went, but had given Yoongi time to clean out the fridge and start dinner. He set her on the carpet with some toys before turning and quickly deciding where to hang the painting, hammering in a nail and positioning the painting while Euny looked at him with big eyes and attentive ears to the sound. He made sure it was level, then set the tools on top of the dresser to clean up later, sitting on the carpet with Euny and letting his tail brush over her head. She was mostly preoccupied with grabbing at the carpet, but she also liked the stuffed bunny Jungkook had gotten her for Christmas. She squished it’s foot and pulled on it’s ears, making soft sounds that he couldn’t help but purr at. She was adorable and he was smitten with his kitten. He pulled her into his lap, also grabbing the bunny and moving it around as he sang a kids song that he remembered from the triplets. She was smiling and giggling, purring loud enough that he could feel it against his chest. He snapped a picture of Euny hugging the bunny and sent it to Jungkook, surprised with Jungkook sent back a picture of him wide-eyed and grinning almost immediately with the caption, “She’s so cute!” He wasn’t about to disagree. He finally remembered that he was cooking and rushed to pick Eunyeong up so he could go look and see how badly he had ruined everything. It was bad. He groaned and then made a snap decision to go to the grocery store and get a rotisserie chicken for his own dinner. It would last him a few meals, and he could get some more oatmeal to mix into her Euny’s formula. He’d been doing since Christmas, to help her get enough food and get up to a healthy weight, which her doctor had informed him she was finally reaching at her check-up last week. She was just a little bit behind developmentally, and hadn’t been ready for solid food until very recently, and even then, more of it made it on her face and clothes than to her stomach. The store was chaos, so he kept her carrier loosely covered by the blanket, to try and muffle some of the noise. He was almost ready to check out when she started mewling softly, the mewl she let out when she needed her diaper changed. Suddenly he remembered why he hated going to the grocery store. He went toward the bathrooms, hoping to be proven wrong, but there were no changing tables. He growled in frustration, trying to figure out the cleanest way to change her. He hated public places because of this. It wasn’t so bad when there was one bathroom for men and women because then the changing table was available, but in bathrooms like this there were rarely changing tables and he wasn’t about to change her on the ground. He managed to change her but it wasn’t easy and he definitely asked the customer service desk why there wasn’t a changing table in the men’s bathrooms. “Dad’s need to change diapers too. I’m a single dad, and I can’t just ask someone to change her for me. That’s how kids get kidnapped.” “If you’d like to make a formal complaint—” “Yes.” The worker nodded, looking a little scared. He sighed. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to take out my frustration on you. I just don’t want her to get hurt or have to change her on the floor of a public bathroom.” She nodded again, handing him some papers to send in the the company’s headquarters. He got his groceries and went home, feeding Eunyeong before himself. That night he sat on his couch, holding his purring baby in his arms, sending the email of complaint to the head office of his grocery store so that he and Taehyung could change Eunyeong in the bathrooms without a problem. He almost laughed at how stupid it had been, doubting himself. He could take care of Eunyeong with barely any crying throughout the day, meeting her needs and desires, without anyone helping him. He wasn’t even tired. Not as long as his baby needed him. He could get through an entire shopping trip with barely any inconvenience. He knew that he wasn’t the most expressive of people, but he also knew that Euny loved him more than she loved even Taehyung—one of the most expressive people Yoongi knew. He knew it wouldn’t be easy, being a single dad, but he would make the same choice over and over again. He would always choose to care for Eunyeong. And him being a little behind on what to have for her was going to be okay, because she was a little behind as well, and they both had a bunch of people willing to help them catch up. She blinked sleepily up at him, her purr growing deeper as she started to fall asleep. “I love you, my princess,” He purred, kissing her forehead and relishing in the warmth and happiness of his once-cold and lonely apartment.

Masterlist.   Sanctuary Series Masterpost. 

Previous Part.   Next Part.

[9g99]

Quiet Intimacy - C.H.

summary - Friends can sleep in each other’s beds, but friends don’t treat each other like you and Calum do.

word count - 3.9k+

author’s note - slow burn best friends to lovers AU again?? u betcha babey. you know that one cocktail chat where calum’s like ‘oh wassup baby’?? yeah i got inspiration from that. enjoy :-)

warnings - swearing, depressive episode/anxiety attack (it’s mainly just breakdown from stress u kno??), mentions of alcohol and drinking, mentions of water and (feeling like one is) drowning, fluff + angst

Calum thinks it’s pathetic - the situation he’s in. He’s not one for cliches and yet he’s living one each moment he continues to breathe. I mean truthfully, there’s nothing wrong with it, but he knows how this will complicate things more. Or maybe it won’t but he doubts that because friends shouldn’t think of friends like they are heaven, like they embody light and joy. Friends shouldn’t long to hold the other’s hand and imagine kissing their lips when their smile is so bright that its elegance transcends to you so you’re smiling back at them. Most importantly, friends shouldn’t like each other as more than friends and more as lovers.

“You were in my dream last night,” you admit to Calum. You take a sip from your water.

Calum chokes on his spoonful of cereal. He didn’t expect those words to come from your mouth. The beating in his chest quickens. He just assumed what he had was unrequited, but with those words, Calum thinks maybe it’s not. Maybe the feelings are mutual. Maybe your heart heard the song his played for you, the sweet melody of a tender affection for the beautiful angel who makes his heart race but also calms it with its kind nature. Once he recovers from his coughing fit, he replies, “Oh yeah, what about?”

You can’t help but admire how natural it is having Calum here. Your heart flutters at the domesticity. This is what people aspire for. They want something simple, something compassionate, something warm, and something enduring. You swallow another mouthful. “It’s not like anything weird, so chill.”

“Last time you told me about your dream that you said wasn’t weird was early 1900s themed and you had a pet dragon,” he retorts.

You glare at him and explain, “Well it’s not like that, so shut up and let me talk.” Calum rolls his eyes. “Um, well it was us at Ikea, that furniture store, you know the one --”

“I know what Ikea is (Y/N),” Calum intrudes. You throw a crumpled napkin at him. Calum quickly dodges it and watches the annoyance slowly build in your eyes. You scold, “Hey, I said don’t talk, but anyways we went to Ikea and you know that movie 500 Days of Summer?” Calum nods. “Yeah it was like that. We were exploring Ikea like Summer and Tom did. I thought it was nice and fun and- hey why are you looking at me like that?”

A smirk graces Calum’s lips, but Calum wouldn’t say it’s one. It’s not a smirk, but rather a bashful grin where only one corner of his mouth tilted up, while his eyes gleamed at you with hope and curiosity. The look on his face was a consequence of your earlier confession about him - you had a dream about him, a dream with him where you two went on a date. His innocent questions left you to incomprehensible sentences. “Does someone have a crush on me? Does (Y/N) specifically have a crush me, Calum Hood?”

“What? No. Me liking you? Please, that’s like, um, that’s like-,” you stutter.

“Yeah, okay, sure you don’t,” he chides. “A dream is a wish your heart makes, just saying.”

And his heart wants you. His heart dreams for you.

Calum wonders if you’ve ever considered him as something more than a friend. You probably don’t because this quiet intimacy you two have can be just as platonic as it can be romantic.

It was grocery day, meaning you and him would go to the supermarket to buy whatever foods you thought you were low on stock in your apartment. It was a joke at first for Calum to tag along when you went to the store, but now it feels unnatural if he’s not there. You accustomed to Calum’s commentary on which apple looked better than another, why it’s better to cut your own melons than buy the pre-cut fruit, his hesitance, but he quickly got over that uncomfortable feeling, of waiting in line at the register when you forgot one item and scurried back to the aisles to find it, and most of all, his insistence to always buy at least one box of his favorite cereal. You never do, of course, but he notices that you somehow always have it stocked in your pantry despite all his pleads.

This time around, it felt different. You didn’t want Calum to be there with you. You wanted to grocery shop alone for once. Maybe it was because you had a crap day at work and wanted to indulge in your stash of ice cream, but then you remembered you ate all of it last time Calum came over, so you felt even worse on your way back home. Maybe it was because the elevator broke down and you had to walk up four flights of stairs just to get to your apartment that you felt even snappier and annoyed that day. Maybe it was because you didn’t get a call or email back about your application for another job to quit your current one. Maybe it was a culmination of things that made your body feel like it was slowly walking down the shore of a beach. With each step, the tide pulled you further. The pull of the water was driving you into deep depths to the sea. The further you walked, the harder it was to move your body back to its origin. Your movements stalled as you noticed as a wave begins to form. Your breath quickened in and out of your lungs, because you’ve never been this far out before by yourself; with other people, yes, but alone, no. The wave gained more momentum as it swam to you. Just as it struck down on you, you heard a voice call out your name. Once it hit, the water ran and so did your tears.

You thought you were drowning, that you were done for, that this was the end. You couldn’t breathe and you couldn’t move, but you smelled a hint of musk in the water. Wait, that doesn’t make sense.

It was then you realized you weren’t in the ocean trapped in a current. You opened your eyes to find your body trapped in strong arms. The unknown arms keeper whispered soft reassurances to you in a long hug. Your senses slowly regained when you turned your head up and saw a familiar face.

The dark colored hair, the slight stubble on their chin, the soft cotton shirt, the trace of smoke hidden in the aroma of their cologne, and the beautiful plump pink lips.

Calum whispered again to your hair, “you’re okay. It’s okay. You’re okay. I got you.”

You sighed into his neck. His arms pulled away as he led you back to your front door. He set you down on the sofa as he prepared you a glass of water. He handed you the cup and wouldn’t take it back until you finished all of its contents.

You hated this part, the part where Calum pressed on and on about what’s wrong and what happened to you. You prepared for his splurge of questions, but it never came. Instead he cleared his throat and breathed, “I, um, I saw the list.”

Your eyebrows furrowed. Calum grabbed for something in his pocket. “The grocery list. I got your stuff already. Thought I forgot somethin’ here Tuesday and was gonna ask you to look but remembered you gave the spare, so I kinda just came over and saw it,” he admitted. “I know we usually go together, but I had to get some stuff too, so thought mind as well do yours too. Sorry if that’s like a no-no. I won’t do it again.”

A gentle smile drew on your face at Calum’s shy rambles. You stood from the couch and pulled him up. Your arms wrapped around his torso as you mumbled, “Thank you. Thank you so much.”

Calum knew he shouldn’t leave you in such a fragile state, but he really needed to get back home and tend to Duke. He mustered the confidence. “I know you just got home, but do you wanna head over to my place? We could just do take out and you can take the guest room if you’re still tired.”

During the drive to his, you couldn’t keep your hands still. The crying session was over, yes, but the stress was still there and you had no release of that. At a red light, Calum reached for one hand and interlaced his fingers with yours, a reassurance that he was there for you and you aren’t alone. He pressed his lips to the back of your hand and rested your entwined hands on your thigh once the traffic light switched to green. As the tires ran to their next destination, Calum’s thumb ran soft and slow laps on your skin.

When you finally reached his house, you didn’t want to let go. If you left the vehicle, then the intimacy that transpired in Calum’s car would also disappear. Those twenty minutes of peace, quiet, and simply being together, like what you had was something more, something more than what you and Calum simply were - friends - would soon fade into a distant memory of a romance that set ablaze for fleeting moments but quickly put out.

Calum turned to you, still holding your hand. He spoke, “Hey, I think we should at least get in before the sun sets, no?”

You exhale loudly. You mumbled, “Okay, yeah. Let’s go.”

You pulled the tab to open the car door, but Calum was already there outside your door. He was breathless. He chuckled before squatting in front of you, still gasping for air. “Can’t let my best girl walk again after those four flights of stairs. Come on, hop on.”

Everything after the piggy back became hazy if someone asked you to describe what happened that day. There was one thing you didn’t expect to find a picture of you asleep on Calum’s chest with his arm around you on his sofa on your phone. You most certainly didn’t expect for Ashton’s text in the group chat to say, “and you two say you aren’t together.”

Calum understands how having feelings for his best friend can either make or break the two of you. That’s why he’s concealed it from you for so long. He only told the boys and he fears they might be the ones that will tell you in a drunken stupor or out of pure accident, but he knows they wouldn’t. They’re his boys and their friendship was always greater than putting one of their love interests at stake over friendship.

Take right now for instance. You’re with the boys, but you’re leaning against Calum as you watch Ashton instruct them how to make some concoction of an alcoholic drink. Michael quickly pours in the alcohol, while Luke steadily pours in some type of chaser - fruit punch, you think it is but you’re not too sure - to mask the putrid taste of vodka.

You whisper into Calum’s ear, “Do they want to die tonight or?”

Calum laughs at your remark. He isn’t even sure why they’re throwing a party. Maybe it’s to celebrate how well received the released singles for their upcoming album have been, but still they usually don’t go all out like this. Calum is about to respond, but before he could speak, Luke shouts, “Grab your cups, lads and non-initiated lad, (Y/N)! Time to drink! Cocktail chats, let’s do this!”

Calum sees Ashton add a paper umbrella and slice of pineapple to two vibrant colored drinks that you’re holding. He sighs before taking the glass from you. “You know you don’t have to drink? Like we, I mean the boys and I, are just doing this for the fans yknow? I’m sure there’s water somewhere.”

You smile at his concern. “It’s okay. I’m not going to drink much after seeing all that vodka Michael poured in and then Ashton snuck in, so I’m good.”

He chuckles at your distaste. You never really were a big drinker like them. They say the gasoline taste goes away, but it’s not true. Well it’s partial true; however, it takes a whole lot of time, and whole lot of other alcohol and maybe something non-alcoholic before the gross liquid becomes semi-palatable. 

You don’t know what song on the album they’re at after your fifth drink, so much for not drinking huh. You just know makeshift cocktail in your hand tastes good. You were weary at the start, but once you tasted it, you didn’t seem to mind. Michael even admit that it was actually two parts fruit punch and one part vodka, because they knew they shouldn’t get too hammered while filming. Still, the amount you’ve consumed is far less compared to the boys drank so far.

Noticing a bright glow on your face, Calum approaches you with languid, yet flimsy steps. He nudges your shoulder and you quickly hide your phone in your butt pocket. “You okay?”

“Yeah, just a little tired, yknow?” you reveal. Your eyes search around the room and you quickly ask, “Do you know where the bathroom is?”

Calum pauses, “I think it’s down that hall and first door on your left. It’s one of the two doors over there if I’m wrong.”

As you venture to the hallway, you hear Calum scold himself. Fuckin’ idiot why didn’t you walk her there?

One of the consequences of alcohol: you have to pee so fucking much. It’s worse than water, because you have to pee like every twenty minutes. You get bloated when you drink too much and god, you hate drinking. You swear you’re done drinking after you wash your hands, but are soon mistaken when Ashton forces two drinks in your hands once you exit. Luke spews nonsense into your ear when you reach the back wall as Calum gets ready to film his part for the song. Luke starts, “You know this was supposed to be band mates exclusive only.” You raise your eyebrows with slight interest at Luke as he rambles. “But we have a soft spot for you.” You give Luke a soft smile to show you’re listening and place the two drinks Ashton gave to you on the side table. You’re an earshot away when Luke mutters “especially Calum,” but you only hear a mumble about Calum and nothing else until Luke’s little spur is interrupted by Ashton yelling at him to grab another drink before he films the next shot. Luke mutters a quick apology before throwing his and another phone into your hands. It’s Calum’s because you see the rocket sticker you put on his case after you bought a batch of 100 stickers off the internet for cheap. His phone goes off from a text and you see that his background is the picture Ashton sent two months ago, the one where you and Calum are snuggled together on his sofa. Your heart flutters at the sight. He’s so loving, so gentle, so kind.

Calum’s voice echoes in the living room and you look up from your spot. He’s trying to explain something, but he’s so giggly that he can’t finish his story properly. It comes in short takes. You slowly sip on your drink as you watch him talk to joyfully about the new music he’s about to release.

“Let me tell you how it went down,” he starts, “they come into our room and we’re like --” He notices you watching and absentmindedly voices his thoughts, “Oh wassup baby?” He shakes his head with a smile. “Don’t put that in,” he laughs. “They come into our room and --”

Everything Calum said after came as white noise. You saw him directly look at you when he said that line. ‘Oh wassup baby?’ And the picture on his lockscreen? You feel as time has slowed and your main focus on Calum transforms into the ikea date again. You’re imagining what it’s like to hold his hand, what it’s like to kiss his cheeks without it being a problem, without Calum’s teasing, what it’s like to fall asleep in his arms and not worry whether you did something disgraceful. Your heart soars at the thought of being in a relationship with him. It’d be wonderful, such a beautiful, wonderful thing.

It’s been an hour and a half since the filming stopped and you’re just lazing on the patio chair admiring the view from Ashton’s house. You hear the screen door open, but don’t bother to check who it is. You assume it’s Calum. “Hey (Y/N), we’re all heading out, but I don’t trust myself with driving so is it cool if we crash here?” You nod at his words, not really listening to what he’s saying. “There’s only two spare rooms and Luke and Michael took the one with two beds so, um, do you wanna share? Or do you want to sleep by yourself? Or-” You continue nodding but not really paying attention. “(Y/N). Hey (Y/N).” His fingers snaps. “Do you want to share a room and sleep?” You stopped nodding when your brain registered ‘room’ and ‘sleep.’

You respond weakly, “Okay, yeah. Let’s go.”

You blink and you’re being lifted in the air. You squeal in Calum’s arms. He chuckles loudly at your antics. “Can’t have my best girl walking in a place she’s never been to. Come on, let me carry you.”

You just plugged in your phone by the time Calum exits the bathroom after showering. You hear his breath hitch when he enters the room. You scrunch your eyebrows. “What do I have something on my face? Oh my god, is there a spider?” Calum quickly shakes his head. “Then why’re you looking at my like that?”

“Like what?” he asks.

“I don’t know. You’re just - ugh,” you groan. “Like that!” You point to his face.

“(Y/N), I swear I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Calum quickly answers.

“Like, like all soft and puppy like. Do you wanna kiss me or somethin’?”

Calum chews on his cheek trying to muffle a laugh, but in his head, it’s going a mile a minute with all his thoughts processing. Do you know about his crush? Did someone tell you? Was it Ashton? No, was it Luke? Calum saw you with him after you used the restroom. Fuck. “Me? Want to kiss you? That’s gross. We’re friends for gods sake. Me wanting to kiss you that’s like, that’s like --”

You unleash a frustrated sigh when you heard ‘gross’ and ‘friends.’ You mutter to yourself, “Wish I could see you as the friend you see me as.”

Calum’s eyebrows furrow. He’s pretty sure he wasn’t supposed to hear that and he’s too nervous to say anything about it.

You get up from your spot and search for extra pillows and blankets. You announce, “I think I’m gonna sleep on the couch.”

Calum is confused. You two have done this before. Maybe not on a bed, but you’ve fallen asleep next to each other. You’ve woken in each other’s arms before and every time you do, it’s pure bliss, to wake up in the confines of someone’s warm embrace, to feel their heartbeat, to watch them gain clarity from a drowsy gaze, to see their sleepy smile. It’s a lovely thing to sleep beside someone.

Calum scurries when he sees you’ve finally found the blankets. He rushes, “Wait, don’t leave. I need to tell you something.”

Your eyebrows raise. “Really? Can’t it wait til tomorrow?”

He can tell you’re drawing a veil over yourself again. Whenever you get uncomfortable, you always pull a disappearing act. You get scared. You panic. Then you flee. That’s how it always goes, but he can’t have you vanish even the slightest when he’s this close, when he has hope that the feelings he has are being reciprocated. He knew that eventually he would answer to his feelings, but he didn’t expect it to come now. The call came too soon and it wasn’t him waiting. It was you on the line.

He rushes, “Yeah. It’s about that one person I told you about a couple months ago. I have updates.”

Calum pats the side of the bed, offering you a seat. Instead of sitting, you lean against the closed bedroom door in front of him. You’re too nervous that if you sit, you might not be able to stand after and free yourself from him. You need to put a distance. You need to put up your guard. You shrug your shoulders as a sign for him to continue with his story.

He licks his lips. His mind is working overdrive trying to say the right words. He can’t articulate things like this on the spot. He stares at the ground trying to formulate coherent sentences. “Um so yeah, they’re a good friend of mine.” You roll your eyes at him. You knew that already. “And they’re just so good to me, yknow? They always have my foods stocked up in their cupboard, which is really sweet. Um I held their hand a few weeks ago and they have really soft hands. Also, they gave me a spare to their place, so I stay over a lot. And god, they always fall asleep on me when I come over to theirs and it’s really refreshing waking up with someone just there, yknow? Like you know how we tend to fall asleep on the couch during movie nights? It’s like that. And god, it feels so great to like your best friend and know they like you back.”

That last line was a bit cheeky, but he can’t help himself when you’ve given him hope.

You, on the other hand, feel your body shut down. The happiness and joy exuded out of Calum and you couldn’t stand it. All hopes of kindling a romance with him is gone. It’s wrong of you to be jealous of Calum’s love life going well, while yours is clearly sinking. You fear that you could be getting replaced and left for nothing. You felt like you were in the ocean again, but this time you could look back. When your body pivoted in the water, you saw no one on the shore calling for you and that’s when you knew you were done for. It was a mistake, but you were already too deep. Your emotions and feelings were smothering you. The water became too chaotic for you to withstand and you’ve never been a good swimmer to begin with. Your chest is starting to hurt because you can’t breathe with all the water surging at you. You feel a tear leak from the corner of your eye but you pretend it didn’t fall in hopes that Calum didn’t see. You somehow muster enough air and fake a smile. “That’s great Calum! When do I get to meet the lucky person?”

Calum parades an awkward smile now. “That’s the funny part.” He scratches the back of his neck, still looking at the ground. “You kind of know them.” 

Now you’re confused. You don’t remember meeting any new friends of Calum’s.

Calum gets up from his spot and grabs his phone. “Hear I’ll show you a picture of me and them together.”

Calum hands you his phone and you stare at his lockscreen. 

Tears build in your eyes, but they aren’t strong enough withstand the storm in you so they begin to crumble and fall. You don’t know what to say. When you look up to Calum, he sends you a gentle smile. He wipes the loose tears, while his doe eyes shine brightly with the adoration he has for you.

“It’s you. It’s always been you.”

a/n - thank u for reading :-) feedback is always appreciated !!

[probablymango]

Dungeons and Arcana

Chapter 1: New Game

Lucio rubbed his face, trying hard not to glare at the others at the table with him. “Explain to me again, what is it you want to do?”

Asra smiles, setting down his glass. “We want to bring two more people into the game with us.”

“I got that. Who are they, do I know them, what are their experience, and do I need to start a new campaign?” He hated getting new players. Not that he wants to keep others from playing, but it meant having to learn them, figure out how they play characters, see what they could and couldn’t deal with, merging them into pre-existing campaigns was a bitch.

Julian raises his hand a bit. “My sister, she’s got a bit of experience from playing with me.”

Lucio nods, then looks at the other two.

“Our roommate, Muriel. You’ve probably met him before, or well, at least seen him.” Mordenkainen answered, making vaguely descriptive hand gestures. “Tall guy, beefy, wears a hoodie all the time, and has the big service dog. Ring any bells?”

It did, mostly because the guy was like a huge brick wall, but he wasn’t very social, so Lucio didn’t know him very well. “Does he have any experience?”

Asra and Mordenkainen look between each other with small looks of worry. “... We’ve tried…” “But neither of us are good dms so….” “Not really….”

“Jesus christ.” He groans, rubbing his face and pushing his glasses further up his face. “...... I’m going to have to meet them both, then we’ll see about a new campaign. Nadia!” He looked over his shoulder towards the kitchen.

“What?” Nadia yells back.

“You’re going to need to make a new character!”

“Okay! What kind of campaign?”

“Not sure yet! Probably just a self inserts and fantasy!”

“Hella!”

Lucio rolls his eyes then turns back to the three in front of him. “Same time or do we need to reschedule for the others?”

“Muriel is good with us.” Asra smiles brightly, lightly jumping in his seat.

Julian thinks for a bit, then pulls his cell out of his scrubs pocket. “... I’ll have to check in with her for that, but let’s stick with the same time for now.”

Lucio nods, ideas of what to make the campaign starting to form. “Good, good, please get them in contact with me before then please. I need to meet them first, even if it’s over webcam.”

Nadia came out of the kitchen, holding a bowl of grapes and milk shake. “So we’ve got more people coming?”

“Maybe.”

“Yes.” Rang in everyone else.

She nods, thoughtfully sipping at her shake. “We’ll have to order more food then. Do any of them have allergies?”

“Portia does, but I doubt that’ll stop her from eating what’s presented.”

“Still, best to make preparations anyways. What’s she allergic to?”

“Dairy, but she doesn’t acknowledge that fact.”

“Oh.” She makes a face. “Is…. is there a non-dairy pizza? Hmm, I’ll keep an eye out for non-dairy snacks that taste good.”

Julian sighs with relief. “Thank you. I can try to get her to send a list of snacks she likes, if that’d help?”

Nadia and Julian start to discuss food, while Lucio turns to the other two. “So, I know of Muriel, but what’s he like? Asides from being a big boy.”

“Shy, not outgoing, and suffers from anxiety.” Asra says, ruffling his brown hair. “We figured that doing it with friends would be the best chance at having him play and plus you’re pretty good, so we figured you’d be best at being one of his first dms.”

Lucio sighs in defeat. “We’ll talk more about this later.” He glances at the clock, then groans. “After work, it’s time to go.” He and Asra stand up, grabbing their bags and coats. “Bye Noddy!”

“Bye Mayor!” Asra grins, sliding on his obnoxiously colored green, pink, and orange jacket.

“Not mayor yet.” She laughs, waving them farewell. “Don’t forget your arm charger!”

“Thank you!” Lucio quickly grabs it from the counter, then goes out to the car. “What do you plan on playing tonight?”

Asra buckles himself, as he makes his signature cat face. “What do you mean?”

Lucio narrowed his eyes at him as he buckled himself in and pulled out. “Do you plan on being a memey little shit with the music tonight or do you plan on doing normal bar music?”

“Oh, you know.” He grins, giving Lucio the answer he knew. The bar was going to be filled with meme songs, most of them were going to give him a headache.

“You little shit.” He groaned, already feeling the headache forming from just thinking of what he was going to hear for the hours they were working together. “Can you at least put on good meme music?”

“Excuse you, but Smash Mouth is great music.” He laughs, watching the buildings pass by.

“No, no it’s not. And please, for the love of god, don’t play What’s New Pussycat, because I swear, I will jump over the bar and strangle you for it.”

“Kinky.” He snickers, poking at his shoulder.

“It’s not a kink thing you perverted little shit!” He groans, keeping his eyes on the road as he blindly slaps at Asra.

Asra snorts, weakly batting his hand away. “What if I play, It’s Not Unusual?”

“That’s worse!” He groans, putting his hand back on the wheel. “Just… Please, take some of the patrons’ requests.”

“I’ll consider it.”

It was quiet for the next few minutes, but as Lucio finished parking, his speakers came to life with-

“DO YOU LIKE WAFFLES?”

“ASRAAAAAA!”

The culprit ran into the bar, laughing with bastardly delight. Lucio groaned, rubbing his face as he turned off the car, and grabbed his bag. He hoped today will be slow, so he could write, but since Asra took over the music selection, more people started coming in. It was good for business, but not good for his creativity. He went inside, clocked himself in, and went to his usual part of the bar, the one with the plug-in built into the counter. He plugged in his phone and arm, hoping people chose the other bartenders, but knowing he’s never that lucky.

His fear was confirmed about 10 minutes into his shift. Asra had some weird remix playing as a sickly looking older man came to the bar in front of him. Worm man, or Vlastomil, as his name tag reads, comes in regularly. The only reason Lucio even remembers this fucker is solely because he stands out; super pale, an almost leprechaun face, dark clothes, and is usually saying something about worms. He assumes the man works at the bait shop, but honestly didn't care enough to find out. “What will it be, sir?”

“Drunken worm cocktail.”

He gets out the ingredients, passion fruit vodka, peach schnapps, cointreu, coconut rum, sweet and sour, cranberry juice, and gummy worms. It looked tasty, white bottom, with red top, ice, and gummy worms resting on the top. “Here you go.”

“Thank you.” He sets down $15 and walks away to a darker part of the room. A weird, but alright person.

He stares at him for a bit, then picks up his phone and starts typing.  Vlastomil…. Sounds like a perfect fantasy name….  He quickly made some notes, then put away his phone as another person came over. “Hi, how can I help you?”

The man in front of him was beautiful, like almost a model. Long hair in a braid, brown that somehow beautifully turns to blond, and clothes that looked a bit more expensive than this area normally gets. Dammit, he didn’t need an instant crush on a stranger. “What kinds of wine do you have?”

“... Uh, I’ll have to check the list.” Not many people wanted straight wine, so he forgot the actual names of them. “We have…. Pinot Grigio.. Some Chardonnay… uhhh.. Pinot Noir… Rose and Cabernet Sauvignon?”

He raises an eyebrow and has a small smile. “Not used to serving?”

“Not used to serving straight wine. Which would you like?”

He stares at the bottles for a bit. “Pinot Noir.”

“You got it.” He pours him a glass and hands it to him, then watches as he awkwardly holds the glass, probably expecting a wine glass instead of the regular ass glasses they have.

“Thank you.” He continues to stay at the bar, drinking as he looked around, sipping thoughtfully at his wine. “Hmp, this is just like him too.”

He shouldn’t butt in or even mention that he heard it, but his nosiness is getting the better of him. “Who?”

He sighs, leaning back into the bar. “My ex, he used to bring this home constantly. Should have expected the bad after taste of him with it.”

“That’s rough buddy.” Did he really just say that? He’s been dming too long, now he sounds like an actual NPC!

He snorts softly, turning to smile at him. “I didn’t think bartenders actually said that.”

They don’t, I’m just too used to fantasy. “I like going beyond people’s expectations.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” He turns back around, continuing to sip at his wine.

Lucio looked over at Asra, only to see him gesturing to…. Do something? He looked at his phone and, oh, he sent a text.

Snek meme bastard: is that valerius? Me: Who is that and why should I care? Snek meme bastard: cuz hes muriels cuz Me: ….. Me: Can u try that again with proper spelling? Snek meme bastard: valerius is muriels cousin Snek meme bastard: is that valerius? Me: not sure Snek meme bastard: ASK Me: NO Snek meme bastard: please Me: no Snek meme bastard: please Me: no Snek meme bastard: please Me: no Snek meme bastard: please Me: no Snek meme bastard: please Me: no Snek meme bastard: please Me: no Snek meme bastard: ………. Snek meme bastard: ill give you $20 bucks if you do Me: …… if he calls the cops im bringing you to jail with me

He groans, rubbing the bridge of his nose, then looks back up at the handsome man in front of him. “What’s your name?”

He looks up at him. “.... any reason you want to know?”

Shit, shit, what does he say? “Why wouldn’t I like to know the name of an attractive person at my bar?” He grins, dying on the inside. He really needs to stop hanging out with MC, they were giving him bad habits of unnecessary flirting with everyone who sticks around for more than 5 minutes.

He looks at him for a bit, then laughs. “You…” He snorts, setting down his drink. “Where.. How did you learn to talk like that?”

“I have no idea of what you mean.” Well, at least he got the stranger to laugh, hopefully that means good things and not being considered a creep. “I speak like a regular people.”

He laughs more, then tries to take a sip of his wine. “I’ll…” He snickers. “I’ll tell you mine, if you tell me your’s.”

“I’m Lucio of Vesuvia!” He adds a bit of lordly flair to the way he says it, deciding to commit to the weird way of talking for this man. “And you are?”

He giggles, barely able to talk at this point. “I’m- hehehe- I’m Consul Valerius, at your service!” He goes back to laughing.

His phone lights up, warning him that Asra wanted to call. Fuck that, it’s too loud for that to work out. He declines the call to see that Asra had texted him. A lot.

Snek meme bastard: is it him? Snek meme bastard: hey Snek meme bastard: lucio Snek meme bastard: lucio Snek meme bastard: is it him? Snek meme bastard: LUCIO Snek meme bastard: lucy Snek meme bastard: i said get a name not flirt Snek meme bastard: …… Snek meme bastard: bitch Snek meme bastard: dude Snek meme bastard: respond or i will rick roll the entire club Snek meme bastard: im serious Snek meme bastard: just say if he is or isnt Snek meme bastard: 3 Snek meme bastard: 2 Snek meme bastard: 1 Me: WAIT

But it was too late, the room was filling with the beginning of Never Going to Give You Up, sending almost every person in the bar into a collective flight or fight response. Some were booing Asra, others just loudly complaining, some were laughing, and even fewer actually left. Asra stared directly at Lucio, demanding a response.

Me: YES HIS NAME IS VALERIUS Me: TURN IT OFF Snek meme bastard: :3

The music was changed to.. Something else, the song wasn’t familiar, so that was good. He sighs, rubbing his face. “Sorry about that. Our DJ is a…. He’s a bastard and let’s leave it at that…”

He shrugs, finishing his glass of wine. “It’s alright, odd choices in music, but he seems alright.”

After the song, one of the other DJs took over for a bit, then Asra made, as straight as he could, for them. “Valerius?”

“Who wants to know.” His mood immediately dropped back to being serious.

“Muriel’s roommate, Asra.”

He glances at Lucio, as if to get confirmation.

“This is my bastard coworker, Asra, the memelord.” Lucio sighs, gesturing at him.

Asra grins, then starts talking to Valerius, but Lucio stopped listening so that he could make some more notes. Vesuvia and Valerius… wonderful names..

“Excuse me!” A loud person, yelled at Lucio. He looked up to see Vulgora, one of the few people you actually remembered the name of. They were constantly getting into fights and just overall loud. “Get me a beer!”

“Any specific kind?”

“A beer!”

Lucio nodded, getting the cheapest beer he could find and putting it in a glass, then handing it to them. “Here you go.” Vulgora and the bar had a deal, they could drink as much as they wanted and the bill would be put directly on their bank account. The bill on most days was too many drinks, on worst days, over hundreds of dollars for repairs. He didn’t understand why they were let back in after the first time, but at least they were paying for it.

With their drink in hand, Vulgora started chugging as they went to find someone to arm wrestle, and Lucio went back to his phone. Vulgora… that’s a rather unique name…

There was tapping on the counter, he looked up to see one of his greatest fears: Dr. Valdemar. The doctor might not have done anything specifically harmful to him, but waking up in the middle of surgery was still lucid led to….. Visual nightmares that have haunted him for over 6 years. “..... How can I help you?”

“Have you seen Dearil?”

“Uhh.. no?” Name sounded familiar, but he couldn’t place who it was.

They look around, contemplating their next words. “Dark orange hair, reddish brown eyes, and is probably carrying a skull?”

No, no he has not. Well, maybe, there’s a lot of people here. He shrugs. “Can’t help you, sorry.”

They nod, setting down a bill. “Thanks anyways.” They wandered into the crowd, hopefully to never be seen again.

…. They would make a great villain. He typed some more at his phone. He was getting a lot of V names tonight.

“Um, sir?” There was a lady in front of him. “Do you serve food here?”

“The bar with food is over there.” He points to the other side.

“Thank you.” She smiles, walking away and someone said “Volta!” as she approached.

This place has a surprising amount of people with Vs in their first name… He went back to his phone, waiting on Asra to stop talking to the cute guy.

[bastiodonz]

Well, uh, I have to admit I somehow never even saw your OSAS stuff until you mentioned it and I looked through the tag?? And I can’t really get what it’s about from just the art but it looks rad and I’m always down for original works (I feel you on drawing shit for your own stuff instead of actually progressing the story) so have at it! Tell me about OSAS, anything from what the world’s like to what the characters like to eat!

akgajdagh honestly thats valid!! osas tends to fly under a lot of peoples radars 😔✊

and also algjakdg thank y ou!!! ive been trying to work on osas for a long while so im rly touched that u think its cool and also that im still Relatable™ ;;w;; i can,, talk a lot,,,, abt osas,,,,,,,, im answering the two questions u gave (what the worlds like and what characters like to eat) and just gonna sneak it under a cut

yeehaw!! 

ok so the world?? ive mentioned it several times but the worlds called uxordra!!! if u go back and find stuff u MAY find that like. i have called it uxodra or uxorda and honestly?? im not sure which one was right so i mashed the two together called it uxordra and called it a day

its ruled by kingdoms bc its. kinda like every other fantasy world like that. note that i started working on osas when i was like. in 6th grade so u have to rly bare with me here bc all the ocs have those 6th grade oc Tragic Backstories or are ocs from a fandom that ive reworked to put them in here. and also if u look closely u would be able to pick out the inspo for some parts of osas.

ALGJAD but yeah its separated into kingdoms!! surprisingly, there isnt a lot of conflict between the kingdoms in the story. surprisingly bc like. thats the plot for several fantasy stories huh. but thats mainly bc 6th grade me didnt even think abt making a fuckin map of uxordra. like ok i get it. but why. 6th grade me i couldve evolved the story so much if only i had a map but instead i didnt and now the story that i came up w rly only mentions only a few different kingdoms and im too invested w it so im too lazy to change it and figure out how to change it. and also they have like. no names

and for that im serious i mean. the kingdom that osas is mainly set in? thats like. the only one named so far. its called valkarie and yes its like valkyrie but just iwth an a instead of a y. see its bc one day 7th grade me realized that i needed a name and came up with one on the spot. but ive been thinking of it and refering to it as valkarie so much that now thats what its called. its a big oof. its arguably one of the biggest kingdoms next to this other one that i dont have a name for??

five out of the main group was born in valkarie!! while iovita ( hes the one w curly hair thats mainly sketched in green) was born in that other big kingdom!! that other kingdom (which is REALLY need a name for considering its the origin place of one of the MAIN CHARACTERS) is like. ok so valkarie is rly just. powerful as a kingdom. but that other kingdom?? theyre just funky! theyre a big trading hub and outsource of crops and everyone thinks theyre cool.

valkarie is. kinda mess. as ive mentioned before yeah no one rly likes them but?? theyre powerful?? they have a big military and iovita comes over here and immediately hisses thru his teeth bc man this is. hm. this seems Excessive. but in their semi defense there was already a good amount of guards and knights and shit but then this whole entire thing happened in ruresi and now all them from there moved to the capitol and its just agakdagjajd Too Many Guards! but yeah like. they also are kinda hggjghjdjg-ing bc there was this whole entire thing called the idarist war which will eventually be elaborated in osas once i actually WORK ON IT!!!!!!!!!! and like it rly just depleted a lot of resources and threw people out of wack

oh my god and i like. just realized i forgot to put this here. but like. theres also gods!!! whenever theres a character in the osas tag that doesnt look human?? tahts a god!!! they just kinda exist and give people things and sometimes start droughts like a fuckin idiot!!!!!!!!! aglajdajg ill probably explain them more in osas. again if i actually WORK ON IT!!!!!!

but yeah. the kingdoms are rather peaceful when it comes to each other. the real conflict most of the time is within the kingdoms themselves?? and at the start of osas its not even that full of conflict. the real peak of hardship was like 80 years ago during the idarist war but most (i say most bc. ruresi.) of valkarie has recovered or at least. recovered as much as they could.

and uhhh what the characters like to eat??

bodil (the ginger one with the teal-ish coat!!) likes salty things!! admittedly its bc her diet kinda. Sucks??? she lives off of preserved things and things merope serves (which is all bar food so. lots of salt.) she also likes milk. she is a simple lesbian she sees milk she drinks

merope (the one w an eyepatch and vitiligo and also sharp chompers………..) really likes stew!!! his aunt used to make it a lot when he was younger and its been his favorite food since!! he makes so many salty things that at this point hes kinda exhausted

aludra (the one with those red marks and blank eyes?? shes mostly drawn in red) cant eat anymore. shes a ghost. BUT anyways she also likes stew. but she also loves dry food that is rly easy to snack on (like crackers or smn!!) bc she kinda used to like just sit in her room and Brood.

iovita (yeah ive mentioned him already. hes the one in green) likes pies!! he likes fruits and as such was like “holy shit you can bake SO MANY fruits into pies. he really likes everything really?? bc yeah his kingdom is known for their abundance of farmland which means lots of fruits and meat and vegetables and its just. wild. but he really doesnt like sour things. conan eats a lemon in front of him and iovita realizes that Their Gods Will Not Save Them.

alfjadka yeah conan (has the light hair w dark roots, that emo bang, and drawn in grey) likes sour things. or so he says. he really likes sweets actually. especially caramel. his mom used to sneak him candies and its a mixture of just that positive association and also just. sweets good. that just makes him really love candy.

sorin (has the bandage over eye and the burn scars. also a ginger. mostly drawn in a yellow-gold) does really?? have??? a favorite food???or a favorite thing to eat???? he takes what he gets and at the least he knows that bread at the least is semi-reliable. ruresi while it was still up wasnt especially known for their food and it really shows?? well at least, sorin says that but conan has noticed that sorin sometimes stares at cakes for a long time………..

(conan buys every cake he sees sorin staring at then always eat a bit before going “oh wow!! i cant finish this sorin u can have it”. sorin is always a bit skeptical abt actually getting it and every other bite asks if conan is Really Sure He Can Have All This. but he eat its every time.)

[jihoonscafe]

r u m o u r : joshua hong.

Inspiration : Based on K.A.R.D’s comeback Rumour, the lyrics for which are in the bold.

Summary : It seems like she had moved on, but had he?

Word Count : 1,665 words.

dedicated to my lovely wife, @fluffyshua and thanks to @kaori-yuki-chan who helped me proof-read this thing~

Special mentions : special thanks to @nachoshi for making this moodboard for rumor, thank you !!

Someone told me

They saw you recently, oh no

Joshua had never known himself to be so desperate for anything in his life before, nothing at all had made him so desperate as to let his ears perk up at the sound of a name, or to eavesdrop silently if a conversation brought it up, brought you up.

You had made him this way, so desperate, so needy for your love once again, but he knew you weren’t coming back this time, back to him, back home.

And now he sat in front of Seungcheol and Jeonghan as they quietly talked to each other, his headphones plugged in as they spoke, him being painfully aware of the pitying looks they threw his way each time your name escaped their lips, after all they did think that he couldn’t hear, wouldn’t know what had happened.

But he did, his ears had perked up the second the syllables of your name had escaped Seungcheol’s lips and how Jeonghan had panicked, before realising that Joshua had his earphones in, not knowing that they were on the lowest volume possible, that he was not listening to anything than what they were saying.

They said you looked so happy babe

Then I felt strengthless

Apparently the younger ones, Seungkwan and Vernon, had seen you when they had gone wandering around the park the day before, and for a second he breathed again, the air filling his lungs sweet as the thought of you rejoicing on the days you had spent together, kissing on the benches in the park, entered his mind.

But alas, it was only a dream, and as was ironically written on the first sticky note on his laptop, a dream was a wish that the heart had made.

He remembered you typing it up on his laptop after a night of binging on Disney movies, and kissing him, whispering that he was the only wish you had made because he was your dream, your beautiful fantasy, and he had fallen in love right after.

But now it mocked him, mocked his love.

They talked about the way you had looked so happy, walking into one of those coffee shops at the end of the next street, the street where he had first met you, and had sat down, that ever so vibrant smile on your face.

Maybe I hoped you would be unhappy

Are you over me already?

There’s no way.

He could almost imagine you, lounging in the cafe, phone in hand as you browsed one of your social media accounts, wrapped up in a warm coat, your cheeks that pretty shade of pink they always turned in the cold, and your lips, covered in that vanilla chapstick which he had so often tasted.

The image hurt him. More than he had thought it would.

Maybe the sick, twisted part of him had wished that you would be like him, mourning the loss of your gorgeous relationship, wandering the places you both had been to together, imagining him sleeping next to you in the night, imagining that when you woke up, drowsy from your sleep, he would be there to kiss you good morning, as he always had.

Because that is what he did.

That is how he survived from day to day, breathing memories rather than oxygen, living in the broken past.

But now he wondered, had you forgotten him?

"No, no Joshua", he urged himself to believe, he would never give up on you, even if reality was threatening to crush him, his hope.

What do I do? I can’t acknowledge this

How you easily forgot me and are so happy

"She was too happy, Cheol-ah. Look at him, he is crumbling, she looks- looks overjoyed"

Overjoyed? Overjoyed to crush his heart, crush his soul, crush him?

Maybe the boys had seen wrong, yes, they had simply seen wrong. Maybe you were smiling because you missed him, smiling because the shop brought you memories which you both had made, maybe it had been a sad smile.

It’s too cruel, you’re a cruel woman

I never knew this till now, I’ve been deceived

"Cheol, she is moving on"

The words pierced him, left him silently gasping for breath as he doubled over in pain, in actual pain, his eyes tearing up slightly at the sound of those two words.

"He isn’t moving on Cheol, he is stuck"

Jeonghan seemed to say, but Joshua was too deep under water, struggling to breathe as his lungs filled up with water, poison really as it choked him, took away the oxygen from him.

I haven’t forgotten you yet

Whatever I do, your smile won’t get erased

Moved on? What was that supposed to mean?

He had moved on too, he had tried so hard to at least. He had gone on blind dates, had gone to clubs and parties, had even met up with old acquaintances, but everytime he looked at another’s eyes, he was only reminded of your warm ones, the way they used to twinkle when you looked at him, twinkle with pure love.

Everytime he saw a smile, he thought of your bright one which he swore lit up any room once it came out. Everytime he breathed, he thought of you and sometimes he wondered, why couldn’t he just forget?

There’s no way, this doesn’t make sense

I wanna believe that they saw wrong

It’s so hard, pretending to be alright

He wanted to believe that they saw wrong, he knew they saw wrong, what evidence did he have, but something in his heart refused to think you were gone, refuse to leave you because you were what made him feel like himself again.

It was hard pretending to be himself.

It was hard to laugh at the jokes now which otherwise would have had him on the floor, laughing away because on a usual day, you would have been next to him, in his arms as both of you would have laughed, and he would have stared dreamily into your eyes, his heart content in every second of such moments, broken only by the boys throwing something at you both which always never failed to make you flush that bright colour of pink.

It was hard to breathe without the warm and comforting smell of your perfume wafting around the dorms, it was hard to breathe without the minty smell of your new shampoo each time he bathed, it was hard to sleep in his own bed and smell the last hints of you, of your warmth and homely fragrance.

According to my friends

You already found someone new

Will you tell me it’s not too late?

Joshua had the urge to get up and leave, to run away from his conversing friends and keep living in the bubble of hope he had created around himself, to protect himself from the very thought of being gone forever.

But he was so whipped, so very in love that the moment your name left Jeonghan’s lips, he froze back into his seat, his heart beating in anticipation for the next piece of information about you, to know how you were doing, if you were smiling, if you were okay now even if he wasn’t.

"Vernon told me they saw her while coming back too"

"Jeonghan, I-"

"She is dating somebody else now. That boy from her college class who she had told us about once, remember?"

"She used to hate him"

"Now she doesn’t I suppose"

The whole of the conversation ran over his head, and suddenly he was numb again, the world around him broken and distorted, his eyesight fuzzy as his headphones slipped off and his inside began to wither away, his heart utterly broken.

The memory of the tall, black-haired boy came into remembrance, a boy who you had tutored once, once when you had still been in love with him, when you had texted him instead of talking to the lanky boy who he remembered had those sharp dark eyes, and a face which had made Joshua proud that he had been the one to take away your attention so easily from the stunning boy next to you.

Now, he had lost you to the same boy.

Please, give me one more chance

Where U at my love

Where U at my love

He excused himself from the room, giving the excuse of a dying phone when in reality it was him, it was his heart which was dying, dying away with no one to save it.

The second the lock of the bathroom door clicked as he entered it, Joshua sank down to the floor, onto the warm red carpet you and him had bought an year ago at a small shop, a day he still remembered among all others he had spent with you because each and every day with you in it was special, was a story he wanted to remember forever to tell to your children, an opportunity he relaised he would never have now.

With shaking fingers, he opened his messages and scrolled down to yours, tears falling at the last message which was an old and now useless "I love you" from him, one which he noticed you never replied to, like you had always done before.

"Hi, how is life treating you?"

He typed, his finger wavering before it hit the send button and he leaned his head on the door, trying to pull himself together, trying to believe in himself and your love, and not the rumors which flew around him, his phone’s screen gone black, lying on the floor.

The ding of a notification had his eyes flying open as he reached frantically for his phone again and opened it up, smiling at the picture of you and him which was still his background and then looked at his notifications.

One new message from Love of my life 💕

Who is this?

Be sure to give me your thoughts frens~

Tagging some beautiful angels to my trash : @sweetsugars, @aceangel-official, @deleallis, @choco-seventeen

[ladyloveandjustice]

The Great Ace Attorney Replay: Trials and Tribulations, Case 5, the final part

Phoenix and Miles meet and Miles basically gives him a motivational speech

“U GOTTA FIGHT WRIGHT!!!” 

And Phoenix is all “YEAH U DON’T HAVE TO TELL ME!!!!”

“I KNOW U CAN DO IT U HAVE THAT LOOK IN YOUR EYE YOU’RE GONNA DO IT”

“YEAH I’M GONNA DO IT GONNA GET THIS GUY!”

And then they double high-five in the middle of the lobby or something.

Miles:  I leave the rest in your capable hands... partner.

PARTNER IN LAW. PARTNER IN LIFE. PARTNER IN LOVE. AMIRITE.

I dunno how chatty I’ll be during this trial because there are only so many ways to say “I hate Godot so much”. (Note from the future- I will still be chatty).

Dahlia is so good at being passive aggressive during this whole trial. I like this heartless serial murderer so much better than u Godot.

And we finally reveal that Dahlia is in the courtroom hanging with us, not Iris

Phoenix: Did you say the plan was to kill Maya?

Dahlia: Yes? You got a problem with that?

YES DAHLIA I KNOW YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND OR LIKE FEELINGS BUT MOST PEOPLE WOULD HAVE A PROBLEM WITH SOMEONE TRYING TO KILL THEIR BESTIE.  

She insisting Maya is dead and this part:

Phoenix: Th-That's absurd! M-Maya is just... She's just trapped! Trapped inside the Sacred Cavern!

Dahlia: Really...? You're as foolishly optimistic as ever, aren't you... my darling Feenie?

Phoenix: ...!

Dahlia: Do you want to know the truth? Ever since we met... I've despised you. Your sniveling naïveté and your pathetic faith in other people.

Just always give me chills. SHE’S SO DELICIOUSLY EVIL.

I mean she’s basically going “HAHA LOOK AT YOU CARING ABOUT PEOPLE AND HAVING EMOTIONS. LOSER.”

Dahlia was super disappointed when she couldn’t take revenge on Mia from beyond the grave. OR COULD SHE? She decided to “go after the person Mia Fey loved most.”

HEY GODOT. DO YOU HEAR THAT. MAYA IS THE PERSON MIA LOVES MOST IN THE WORLD. AND YET YOU PUT HER IN DANGER FOR YOUR STUPID EGO. IT’S ALMOST LIKE YOU DIDN’T REALLY LOVE MIA AND ONLY LOVE YOURSELF.

AT LEAST DAHLIA’S HONEST ABOUT HER ISSUES.

Ohh yeesh I forgot how intense this got. Dahlia tries to convince Phoenix that Maya accidentally killed her mother, then killed herself out of guilt. Phoenix is of course like “WTF NO” but you can see him starting to panic. IT IS PHOENIX’S ETERNAL CURSE TO THINK HIS LOVED ONES HAVE COMMITTED SUICIDE.

At least it only lasts two seconds this time.

Christ, both Phoenix and especially Maya need so much therapy after this case. Pearl too.

GUESS WHAT MAYA REALLY DID. GOT HER SIS’S ADVICE AND CHANNELED DAHLIA HERSELF SO DAHLIA COULDN’T KILL HER. The moment where Mia appears and is like “lol owned” will always be one of the greatest moments in Ace Attorney.

Haha I forgot how HARD Phoenix and Mia verbally eviscerate Dahlia. They tag-team it too.

Phoenix: WOW GEE THAT SURE DIDN’T WORK OUT DID IT DAHLIA. SURE GOT OWNED HARD THERE.

Mia: OF COURSE YOU MUST BE USED TO GETTING OWNED BY NOW.

Dahlia: what no shut up

Phoenix: Did that kidnapping thing- owned by Mia Fey. Tried to kill me- LOOK WHO’S STILL ALIVE, MOTHERFUCKER! AND BY SHEER DUMB LUCK THAT MAKES IT EVEN WORSE HAHA! Poisoned some other dudes- owned by Mia Fey.

Dahlia: YEAH WELL…WELL…YOU HAVE FEELINGS AND FEELINGS ARE DUMB…

Phoenix: Tried to kill Maya…owned by Mia Fey….

Dahlia: STOP LOOKING SO GODDAMN SMUG IF IT WASN’T FOR MIA FEY YOU WOULD HAVE GOTTEN EXECUTED INSTEAD OF ME. I ONLY DIED BECAUSE OF MIA FEY.

Mia: True!

Dahlia: ….

Mia: Looks like no matter what I’ll always own you. Even death cannot stop me from owning you. For all eternity you’ll be Dahlia Hawthorne: That lady who got super owned by Mia Fey

Dahlia: but HOW COULD I LOSE?

Phoenix: Hey Dahlia, guess what! Nobody gives a shit.

*Phoenix and Mia high five*

Phoenix: Now GTFO of Maya.

SO SATISFYING. EPIC HERO-VILLAIN LADY RIVALRIES ARE MY EVERYTHING and Mia and Dahlia hit my sweet spot. SUCH A PASSIONATE HATE-ON. And Phoenix getting to be spell out exactly how badly she messed up after everything she did to him and how he looked down on him for his dumb feelings-it’s the best

THIS SURE WOULD BE A GREAT WAY TO END THE CASE. BUT NO WE GOTTA DEAL WITH GODOT’S BULLSHIT.

Like seriously. He could just confess that he murdered Misty Fey RIGHT NOW and not waste everyone’s fucking time. BUT NO. Let’s drag Maya, who is completely exhausted and deeply traumatized after almost being killed and witnessing the murder of her own mother, onto the witness stand and make her relive the entire horrible experience YOU PUT HER THROUGH because you don’t give a shit about anything other than ~testing~ Phoenix.

I like that Dahlia has a backstory where you can see where her “look out for number one” and “feelings are dumb” mindset came from. Her Mom abandoned her, her dad set an example by loving no one, ditching people when they were inconvenient for him and only caring about money. You can see why she decided to do the same. It doesn’t excuse what she did obvs, but there is a logical thread to her actions beyond “she’s just a demon child” and that gives her some dimension as a character, even while being so unrepentantly evil.

Mia makes sure Nick’s realized Godot was the killer and then says she’s gonna peace out- I’m sure you could give a lot of explanations for why she recused herself from the trial indicting Godot (like her ~feelings~ ugh)- but I’m gonna  say its cuz she knew if she spent any more time in Godot’s presence she wouldn’t be able to restrain herself from running across the courtroom and beating the shit out of him for putting her little sister in danger and killing her mother for the sake of his macho revenge fantasy.

She would have been fine doing that normally, but she’s in Pearl’s body right now and she doesn’t want Pearl to suddenly wake up with a man’s blood on her hands. She’s been through enough.

 SO IT’S UP TO PHOENIX.

Godot fucking yelling at Maya not to cry after all the bullshit he put her through and the fact she wouldn’t have to even be on this stand reliving this bullshit if he just fucking owned up to what he did I HATE HIM SO MUCH.

She’s trying so hard to protect him NO MAYA IT WAS HIS FAULT THIS SHIT HAPPENED TO YOU

Like he knew Morgan has hidden the note! He found it! It was unsealed when Pearl found it! He could have just taken the note! That is literally all he had to do! That’s not all! He could have explained to Pearl why she couldn’t listen to her mother! He could have TOLD MAYA SOMEONE WAS TRYING TO KILL HER.

But nope. He just leaves to note for Pearl and lets everyone go through with this entire murder attempt because he wanted to “save Maya” and feel all manly. HE. IS. NOT. WORTH. PROTECTING.

The only good part about Maya protecting Godot is seeing her call Nick out on the holes in his logic. AND U THOUGHT U HAD IT TOUGH WITH MILES.

And also! At one point the judge says Maya will be suspected for the murder if Phoenix can’t prove it’s Godot! So he the possibility of Maya going to jail/being executed in his place literally came up and Godot STILL didn’t confess. WOW  DEEP LOVE FOR HIS BELOVED’S MOST TREASURED PERSON HE HAS THERE.

Defeating him is so satisfying at least. BLOWIN’ YOUR MASK UP.

 And in the end, even he admits he wasn’t really concerned with saving Maya…because he didn’t tell Phoenix what was going on. OKAY. OR ACTUALLY YOU COULD HAVE TOLD MAYA HERSELF. I’m not saying Nick would not have probably been more helpful to Maya’s situation than you were, because literally anyone would be, but THE BEST WAY for her not to get murdered is to tell her “HEY MORGAN FEY IS TRYING TO SUMMON SOMEONE TO MURDER YOU THROUGH PEARL, MAYBE TALK TO PEARL ABOUT THIS AND ALSO DON’T GO ANYWHERE ALONE FOR A WHILE.”

Like even after admitting he messed up and his grudge against Phoenix makes no fucking sense, he still does the exact same shit! Only men are people worthy of being told anything! Women aren’t allowed to know what’s happening to them! They don’t get to make decisions about their own lives! Only men can make decisions for them!

And he STILL makes Mia’s death about him and how he “failed to protect her”. It is just so disrespectful to her, acting like he could have somehow done something she didn’t to prevent her death when he couldn’t even protect HIMSELF from being poisoned. Mia died doing what she believed in. She knew the risks and she accomplished her goal. She was satisfied. Her death was about her, not Phoenix and definitely not YOU.

So no, I really don’t feel sorry for him, nn matter how much the game wants me to.

I’m always kinda ehhh about the reveal Iris was subbing for Dahlia. I mean it’s nice for Nick and all and it is incredibly unlikely Dahlia would have had the patience go on all those dates with Phoenix and pretend she gave a shit, she would have murdered him the first night.

But on another level it’s feels unnecessary to say “see Phoenix was right to believe in her, because he wasn’t REALLY dating Dahlia, it was Iris and she did actually care about him!” Like, Phoenix’s belief in people is a positive thing, but I think it’s more meaningful if he’s y’know, not always unfailingly correct.

Having faith in people means sometimes you can have people not worthy of that faith take advantage of it. And I think the thing with Dahlia impacted Phoenix and helped him realize he can’t just be a total doormat for people and believe in them even when shit’s clearly suspicious. This was an important lesson for Phoenix, and also something that left him with some issues. Being like “oh yeah but he was also right kind of” just kinda dilutes that.

It doesn’t RUIN it, since he still did trust someone he absolutely should not have trusted in Dahlia and the betrayal had a lasting impact on him regardless of Iris’s involvement, but it’s just like “eh” for me.

Also it comes off like they were trying to set her up as a potential love interest- obviously they didn’t actually go through with it since she is NEVER MENTIONED AGAIN after this- but egh, if they had... it doesn’t work on so many levels and I’m not just saying that because it disrupts the otp. Like first of all, she did still lie to Phoenix about who she was for months (I hope they didn’t have sex because that could. Technically be a crime on your part, Iris) and I can’t see that baggage being easy to deal with.

Also, I hate to say it, but Iris is boring. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with her, but her connection to Dahlia and the insight on her she provided is about the only thing interesting about her. Her entire personality can be summed up as “shy and nice”. Which is fine. Not every character has to be the fascinating, and she served her function in the plot. But in a series full of quirky, complex, dynamic characters, it’s kinda like. Literally anyone would have a more entertaining romantic dynamic with Phoenix.

(Not saying that Iris couldn’t have potentially been turned into a more interesting character if writers had been interested in it. There’s a lot to work with, considering her tragic past. But as it stood in the game, there’s zero spark there)

Also, judging from the people he’s closest to and spends the most time with, Nick prefers to hang around people who are the opposite of demure, who he can banter and argue with constantly. HE REALLY LIKES ARGUING. IT’S HIS CHOSEN CAREER. I think there was even an interview where the writers said Nick’s type is “someone who would boss him around”. And Iris is not that person. (And Phoenix is also way more sarcastic now than he was in college and I’m not sure if she’d be into that either.)

So yeah I’M GLAD THEY DIDN’T GO THROUGH WITH THAT basically.

I AM glad we went through with putting Godot in jail though. Mia’s just like “nope, don’t feel guilty, it’s fine, this was the best thing to do for him”. I will cling to my theory that she is super disgusted with him. U can’t take it away.

Lol at Maya deciding she’s on a first name basis with Franziska and they’re friends now and being able to make her be nice to Larry just by pouting. Thus a ship was born. They really would have had a fun dynamic I wish we could see more of it.

There’s also the part where Fran is genuinely confused with why Maya is being so cheerful in the wake of losing her parent:

Edgeworth: ...Wright. You seem to be uncharacteristically puzzled. I suspect you are wondering how Maya can be so cheerful despite all that has happened?

Phoenix: Y-Yeah...

Franziska: To be honest... I can't understand it either.

Phoenix: (Franziska... That's right... She lost her father fairly recently as well...)

So she does seem to sympathize with Maya and seem really interested in why her reaction to grief is so different from hers. when Miles and Phoenix say they get why Maya’s doing this, she DEMANDS TO KNOW. What is WITH Maya Fey, how does she work, Fran is fascinated. 

She’s learning about things she doesn’t understand and expanding her worldview thanks to Maya already and that could be another interesting bit of their relationship to explore- similar trauma, different ways of coping, they can sort of connect and learn from each other on that level.

I’ve mentioned that I really like Miles and Maya’s friendship, and this little dialogue exchange coming up is kinda the culmination of that. It’s not just that they both like the Steel Samurai, or both know Nick or anything- they actually have a pretty deep connection and weird understanding of each other. They both witnessed a parent die, they both experienced trauma connected to the DL-6 incident- Miles understands what Maya’s going through in a way Phoenix doesn’t, because Phoenix hasn’t experienced the same loss. And he sees the pain under her cheerful attitude.

Miles: I think I understand how she feels. Maya is a much wiser person than she appears, and I think she realizes something... Now is exactly the time when she needs to be as strong as she can.

Franziska; Wh-What do you mean by, "Now is exactly the time"...?

Edgeworth: Maya wasn't the only one that was badly wounded by this incident. In fact, there was someone that was hurt far more deeply than she. I believe it's for that person that Maya is trying her best not to cry.

Phoenix: (Someone who was hurt more deeply than Maya...) Edgeworth... I think I'm starting to understand, too.)

(She’s doing it for Pearl)

Phoenix: After all, the reason [Pearl] she worked so hard to follow the instructions... ...was because she loved and believed in her mother, Morgan. "It's for the good of the Fey clan"... I'm sure she believed in every last word. She thought she was doing it for Maya... That's why she was so happy. It shows how truly devoted she is to Maya.

Edgeworth: But it's a cruel irony that it was her exuberance that led to this tragedy. Maya Fey's mother was killed and Maya herself was put into the deepest peril imaginable.

Phoenix: (And that's exactly why Maya is putting on a brave face... She's doing it for Pearls's sake... Until she can see her smile again...)

I mentioned this in my last liveblog, but not only is Miles familiar with trying to be “strong” in the wake of tragedy, he also gets what Maya’s doing for Pearl because he’s sort of trying to do the same thing for Franziska right now- he’s pretty messed up over all the von Karma stuff. But he doesn’t blame Franziska for the connection she had to the person who ruined his life or for her attempts to be loyal to him. He recognizes Franziska is just as messed up over the revelations with VK and just as damaged by him, if not more so. So he’s trying to be strong and set a good example for Franziska right now, leaving the past behind and helping them both move one with their lives. And that is exactly the situation with Maya and Pearl.

So yeah, in addition to all the other things Maya and Miles have in common, they both basically have little sisters they feel responsible for and want to help and understand that about each other. ACE OLDER SIBLINGS.

Maya does indeed ace it as a big sis and manages to reassure and comfort Pearl. Her mother is gone, but Nick and Pearl are always there for her, and she loves her family.

Phoenix decided to end the trilogy with a dramatic monologue:

 "It's only natural for living creatures to fight to protect their own lives. But what makes us human is that we fight for others. But who do you fight for? How hard must you fight...? That's the true measure of what human life is worth.

CAN YOU TELL THIS BOY WAS AN ART MAJOR BECAUSE I SURE CAN/.

"We defense attorneys are warriors who are constantly challenged by that question' 

Yeah you’re a warrior champ. Whatever makes you feel cool.

"Even when the battle is over, and the bonds that connect us are severed... We always return... Time and time again. Mia, Maya, Pearl [REDACTED I HATE HIM]... I learned that... from all of them."

 I’M GLAD HE’S LEARNED THIS AMAZING WISDOM ABOUT LIFE FROM THE AWESOME FEYS  AND ABSOLUTELY NO ONE ELSE.

Gr8 anime protagonist speech Phoenix. Your heart has been made fullmetal.

NOW IT’S CREDITS TIME.

Maya: I'll really have to work extra hard now! Master of Kurain and the office manager of Wright & Co. Law Offices. And I have to be a good big sister to Pearly and Nick, too!

Other things Franziska and Maya have in common: insisting guys older than them are their “little brothers”. I love it. YOU BIG SIS THE HELL OUT OF NICK, MAYA, TEACH HIM THE WAY OF THE WORLD.

Maya: Well, as long as I'm not locked up or captured or something like that.

Sorry about ur life Maya. Things will indeed not get better for you in that respect *sigh*.

Franziska taught Adrian how to use a whip everyone must now bow down to their dom lesbian overlords.

Nick actually went with Maya to her special meditation course and did the whole thing with her AMAZING. He’s like an honorary Fey now, which is probably terrifying.

Well, that finishes the game! God this game is so weird, It would definitely be my favorite- it has a lot of great parts, I love playing it, you really get a little of everyone, but it also has to have the most SUPREMELY ANNOYING PARTS in the whole series aka Godot’s whole existence. So I can’t say for sure it’s my fave because of that. But maybe it is. I don’t know. Why’s Godot gotta complicate everything.

Anyway, next up is Apollo Justice. Which on my first playthrough, it’s my least favorite game of the current six in the main series. Let’s see if I’ll have a better opinion of it this time or stand by that assessment.

[kirkwallgirlesque]

Finally got some of these Shoker / ME3 Control Ending feels onto paper, and to go with an old scribble (included), too! Whee! The joy of fairly open endings is that you can do a lot of things with them afterwards. xD Also wow it feels so very weird to write for a different fandom than what you’re used to...? what are voices? I have no idea.

Angst with an eventually happy ending, control ending, fluffy memories, *author has a crisis about keys*, mention of bad dentist experiences and hangover; alcohol mention. Also obviously discussion of death.

Notes feat. credits (one), my brand new Key Headcanon, and some discussion about the Citadel and the condition of the apartment at the end. :D

As usual, I’ve read this about a million times but still there are bound to be oopsies there. xD I’ll weed them out when I notice them haha!

UNDERTONES (part 1/2)

Joker had to stop at the door to Shepard’s – Anderson’s - apartment because the sucking black hole inside his chest swelled with every step he took and became so heavy that it was hard to breathe. He didn’t know if he’d be able to bear the empty apartment, but EDI seemed to think that it would be a good idea to visit the memories in the apartment even if it did hurt, and pick up any of Shepard’s personal belongings that were still there, as well as check whatever it was that she wanted to check on the terminal, Joker wasn’t sure. Maybe clean up a little if the place all a mess. In fact, she’d suggested it. “I believe it would be beneficial for healing,” she’d said.

“You know what? I think I forgot the key—“, Joker tried, turning on his heel, patting his pockets to hide how badly his hands were shaking. A single look from EDI told him she wasn’t buying it.

“You didn’t. You checked four times after leaving the Normandy,” EDI said, and her deadpan was flawless, as usual. “You put it in the bottle of painkillers in your pocket just to be sure.”

Joker sighed and let his shoulders slump.

“All right, you don’t have to rub it in,” he said, and turned back to the door, rubbing his arms. “Look, I just don’t know if I can do this.”

“Jeff, you said yourself that you might as well do this now if you ever wanted to come back because delaying would not make it any easier, and I quote: just ripping the band-aid off in one go is supposed to be better anyway. I can play the recording for you if you wish.”

“Oh, har har, very clever. But all right, you’re right... Thanks.” Joker sighed again, clenched his jaw, and then fished out the key. She was right. He did want to go back, and he would have already turned away without EDI there to gently kick him to it. He shook himself a couple times, and then took a deep breath and ripped the band-aid, half-expecting the lock mechanism to be broken; it would have been just his luck. But no - the key whirred inside the lock as the programming kicked in, and the bolts disengaged. Band-aid gone. One of them anyway.

Shepard would have said it’s better to pull the tooth out in one go instead of fucking pecking at it a for half an hour, he thought, and the thought made him first almost laugh and then almost cry. It came out as a shaky breath. He was pretty sure the words were based on personal experience, but Shepard -

(just shudders and sinks deeper into the tangle of blankets, pulls joker closer and stalls getting up a little longer – so much for throwing the warm blankets off quickly and facing the day and the aftermath of the party head-on)

- had never volunteered the full story.

Stepping into the apartment didn’t feel as much like a punch in the gut as he’d imagined over and over and over when he couldn’t sleep at night. Instead of ruin and devastation from his worst nightmares it surrounded him with an empty hush, and left him feeling shaken and out of place even though really the place was mostly just as he remembered it, just... eerier. His footsteps echoed too loudly in the silence.

The last time he’d walked through the living room there had been a fire crackling in the living room fireplace, beaty music playing, people and laughter everywhere, and Shepard had been there in the middle of it all, laughing and smiling –

(and revealing his teeth in a crooked smirk that makes joker’s heart skip beats. come on, you have to dance! the coffee table is not going anywhere so don’t try to pull that one on me again! come ooooon, I want you to dance with me. are you going to make me beg because I’ll do it--)

- in his stupid yellow top that was too short for him, stealing chips and grapes from other people’s plates. Now the whole apartment was just lifeless and empty; even the waterfall had been turned off. The signs of life were still there – there were the empty bottles from the party still in the kitchen, some shattered on the floor but some still standing and waiting by some miracle to be either trashed or recycled; a few forgotten hair ties thrown on the coffee table along with a scattered deck of cards that had been drunk doodled on and thus ruined; a towel thrown on the back of a chair to dry. If it hadn’t been for the antique shop quiet, it would have been so easy to imagine Shepard appearing from behind a corner-

(loose-limbed, face washed, hair a soft mess from sleep, a mug of tea in each hand. he is wearing the same teasing smirk from last night, only this time it’s because joker has a hangover even after saying he would stay away from the drinks, and not because he joker to get up so they can dance with edi and be silly in the middle of the living room. joker would sooner drink coffee but takes the offered cup anyway, and then scoots sideways when shepard kicks his ankle softly with bare toes and moves to squeeze himself into the corner of the couch – not the other corner where there is plenty of space, but his corner)

- and that nearly squeezed the air out of Joker; the image was so vivid and so sudden. He leaned heavily against the counter between the kitchen and the living room and curled around his aching chest, bowed his head in a way that might have made the cap hide his tears if they hadn’t tap-tap-tapped right onto the polished surface. He pressed the back of his hand against his mouth and tried not to sob.

“Man, if this is what the Drell feel like all the time, I do not envy them. This feels a lot like pulling a tooth very slowly,” he managed shakily after a couple of breaths and false starts, but EDI had wandered deeper into the apartment in search of whatever it was she had meant to pick up, and if she heard him, she made no reply.

“There is an incoming call on the line to the apartment,” she announced instead, and Joker made an annoyed sound, blinking more tears from his eyes. “Shall I connect it?”

“No,” Joker said grumpily and followed EDI’s voice into the study where she sat in front of the terminal, legs crossed. She had an odd expression on her face when she turned to look at him. “How the hell do you even answer a call to a dead person’s apartment? They don’t teach that anywhere. And who the hell even would call this place now, hasn’t the line been disconnected? A telemarketer selling one of those sock subscriptions? Do the lines even work anymore? The whole Citadel was pretty fucked after the war and they haven’t even managed to restore the more important bits completely yet.”

“I cannot verify the source of the call exactly, but it seems to be coming from somewhere within the Citadel. It seems… important.”

Joker stared at her, but when she offered no further explanation, he threw his hands into the air half-heartedly, shaking his head.

“Well that wasn’t cryptic and slightly ominous. What the heck, let’s do it. Go on, EDI.” And then, to the caller when the line connected: “Hello, this is Admiral Anderson’s apartment, Flight Lieutenant Jeff Moreau speaking.” He almost laughed. The greeting sounded absurd even in his own ears.

“JOKER”, boomed a voice through the voice system, and all the hair on Joker’s body stood up in an unpleasant start. He took a couple of slow steps backwards and more slumped than sat down into a convenient chair. His mouth had gone completely dry and his heart was hammering so hard it almost hurt. 

The multi-layered harmonics of the voice were horrifyingly familiar – the deep, rumbling voice made the glassware in the kitchen ring and small items rattle and skitter across surfaces in the apartment. EDI only squinted curiously at the terminal, fired off a quick message, and then smiled when a replying message’s beep arrived immediately. Joker was too shocked and too wired up to pay attention.

“What the shit,” he hissed, dragging his hands over his face  and covering his mouth. The Reapers just stopping after whatever Shepard had done and leaving had been too good to be true, hadn’t it? “Shit, shit, shit-“

“JOKER”, the voice repeated, but with less rumble this time. “PLEASE JUST for once bE COOL and shut up and LISTEN. I KNOw I’m nOT EXACTLY... me anymore, not the same as before, but...  we need to talk.” It sounded almost like the voice was looking for a frequency, wavering between a Reaper’s rumble and something quieter, somethng more… human, in the lack of a better word, and underneath it all there was a constant undertone coming through clearer and clearer that sounded like-

(magpies, or some other bird like that, hoarse and raspy and always a little amused)

“Damir?” Joker breathed, turning his eyes to EDI. Now he could see her knowing smile.

“YES,” said the voice. “Yes.”

end of part 1.

note 1: this fic was largely inspired by a line in a chat from a while ago with @losebetter because it just was very perfect. I just tag you into everything these days sorry but you are somehow inspiring like half of this stuff nowadays or pulling me into new & exciting fandoms. xD Here it’s because I borrowed AI Shepard’s line from that chat. Not word for word, but still. ^u^ Close enough!

note 2: So I had a moment of jaw-dropping epiphany when i was writing this where I suddenly went ‘WAIT WAIT. ARE KEYS EVEN A THING ANYMORE.” I'm gonna make up a headcanon that because humans are sentimental about stuff they could have these kind of. novelty locks and manual that act a lot like normal keys would but in truth aren't very different from an omni-tool activated lock, so there IS programming in work when you actually use the key. Like especially on human colonies or old buildings on Earth, and maybe especially especially if you're rich and have a fancy schmancy place because it's custom work and installing a system like that to an antique door is like. super craftsmanship. They're more inconvenient because you have to actually have the key with you but it's uh. vintage. xD Maybe there's a way to override it with the omni-tool if you forget the key though because otherwise you'd be screwed if you really lost the key. that is my key headcanon now’

note 3: I actually have no idea how badly the Citadel is supposed to be damaged in the end if you take the Control ending...? It’s not supposed to fry the systems, but that much power may have still done a number on some of the non-reaper systems especially and fried some things. Maybe the whole debackle might have shaken places a bit, maybe some places are worse than others, maybe some places are completely and utterly FUBAR. Corpses we know there are everywhere and clean-up will take a while even with huge efforts put into it. :c I’m kind of. going for a best case scenario here and saying the apartment is mostly okay. xD

note 4. as I’ll probably repeat in part 2, EDI absolutely knew something was up from the moment they docked on the Citadel and connected with what systems worked there again. xD