#i dont have a point to this. its just brainworms

[bugcatcherkit]

anybody else ever start rotating One Extremely Tiny Detail in their mind over and over and over again. And it won't leave. currently that detail is that Every single teddy bear in Minori/Mogami's enclosure is wearing something around its neck except for This Specific One. why is it naked

The fact that they're all wearing something around their necks is already a bit unsettling because of the (probably) Strangulation associations (big thing for many mp100 antagonists, but Specifically and Especially Mogami). And then that one specific bear (and it's the same one both times I think?) has nothing. Front and centre and on purpose. It makes it More Unsettling somehow. Does anyone understand or is it just a me thing

[waywardsalt]

oh yeah i’ve got a bunch of loz aus that i haven’t really talked about. a few of them are listed and slightly explained in this poll and explanation reblog but i haven’t gone out of my way to actually list the aus i have and really explain them. so that’s what this post is for. here are some... decently simple explanations of my major aus and what they're generally about

i have two kinds of aus: original aus (loz aus that are set in their own kinds of worlds with their own stories and twists on character roles) and then crossover aus (we all know how this works i just mash loz and a thing i like together)

original aus: (many currently dont have actual titles, so the titles will often just be concept shorthand)

in the court of the crimson king/crimson king au: probably the most developed and closest to being written out. it's got one of the longer premises; set in a industrial-esque hyrule city, following linebeck as the main character, as the adoptive older brother of link and aryll, living with them and their grandmother as the only one able to reliably make money to pay for rent and food, leaving every other week to do jobs, but he moonlights as the 'demon of the gray moon', a masked persona he'd created as a child that had long since become a city-wide urban legend, anonymously taking unsavory jobs from whomever can contact him and offer pay, often working directly for bellum, a childhood friend, the one who enabled and trained him to become the demon, and one of five anonymous leaders of the city. linebeck effectively lives a double life, and tries to stay out of too much trouble to avoid drawing attention to himself or making his adoptive family worry, but he gets dragged into more and more danger as bellum becomes curious about the identities of the city's other leaders, and linebeck falls in love with a man named ganondorf, suspected to be one of those other city leaders. ive got a few posts related to it already: this one being another vague concept descriptor, this one being an actual scene i have written out.

'gimmick' au: i cannot explain the gimmick without spoiling the au. put simply, in this au, hyrule as a whole has been at war for ten years, every race and kingdom taking sides in a conflict that seems to be going nowhere. link joined the hylian army young, and has made his way up the ranks to become trusted by queen zelda herself, and things in the war take an interesting turn as he and zelda discover a new faction, unaligned with any particular kingdom and with unknown motives, and zelda decides to set out to the different parts of hyrule, link and a chosen group of trusted allies in tow, intending to try negotiation one more time before things take a turn for the worse.

sci-fi/space au: the fun one that probably would need to be done in a visual medium. it takes place in a solar system of a few planets, link growing up on the planet hyrule and occasionally traveling to the others as a knight specializing in investigating and taking down dangerous bounty hunters, working for zelda as a friend. he and zelda uncover a plot by the yiga clan to accumulate a number of highly dangerous research and weapons held by each species as they aim to resurrect a demon to wreck havoc on the solar system- the b plot being about the top bounty hunters in the solar system screwing around, eventually colliding with link and zelda's a plot as it begins to involve them.

murder mystery(?) au: one of the older ones, maybe one of the oldest that i still stick with. this might actually be one of the first ones i tried writing. the plot begins when zelda returns to hyrule city years after her father- the former mayor- was murdered, finding that he has been replaced by ganondorf and that while things seem fine enough on the surface, random and organized crime run the show, and she begins a private detective agency as 'sheik', a masked young man, and with the help of impa, and old friend and confidant, she moonlights as sheik and uses her daytime identity as zelda to help chip away at some of the city's biggest problems and finds herself drawn into a long string of murders that appear to be anything but random violence.

ruined hyrule 1: i have two au’s with the premise of hyrule being ruined. neither of them have more specific names yet. this one begins with the majority of greater hyrule's population having long since locked themselves in hyrule castle town in order to escape the increasingly dangerous wildlife. zelda, a young girl at the beginning, becomes curious about what lies beyond the city walls, and makes friends with many other children within this sheltered hyrule, and as they grow up together, aim to eventually venture out into the wilderness to see what may have caused the outside world to become so incredibly hostile.

ruined hyrule 2: the other ruined hyrule. set in a devastated hyrule, roughly ten years after the royal family was killed, link failing to save them or hyrule in the time since. he now resolves to set out and indiscriminately destroy every demon that plagues the ruined hyrule, meeting and bringing along various allies, each of which has been uniquely affected by and have different lived in this altered, dangerous shell of hyrule.

modern (school): i also have two modern aus. this one isn’t plot driven, just a concept i have, would work best as little vignettes or something. essentially just the idea of a group of loz characters hanging out together in a modern high school (or college?) setting.

modern: this is the one with an actual plot. follows the general idea of zelda characters living in a modern world only for the typical legends to begin resurfacing and heralding dark events. plot specifics are murky, but that's the general idea.

dark mage: this is the au that where the seas meet the sands takes place in. basically just ganondorf x linebeck shenanigans in this alternate hyrule while actual plot sneaks up on them. named 'dark mage' mostly because the initial idea behind this au was that linebeck would learn magic.

horror au: doesn't have the best name, and it's ended up just being a personal sandbox for me. constantly changing, with the cast and setting often altering if i find that something isn't working or sticking. it's an au i've considered (and even briefly tried) writing in the past, but it's still too fluid, and writing horror effectively is difficult. it's a fun au, though.

mecha au: spawned because i watched neon genesis evangelion. a lot of this au's basic concepts can be found here: x but the short version is that hyrule is being besiged by massive monsters, but each race has created their own mechs to combat them. link is just a farmer who happens to have a strange knack for being a mech user, so is brought in by zelda as a gamble to bolster their chances, and he is tasked with working with a new and less-than-trustworthy crew to help fight those monsters.

'amnesia link' au: an au that sprang up in about a day and hasn't gotten too far since. basic premise being that three years prior to the story, link and a group of allies has faced off against ganondorf and, despite their best efforts, lost, with link being presumed dead by their enemies. now, link has woken up from his coma, his memories gone and hyrule taken over, and, with guidance, must once again travel across hyrule, aiming to rediscover his allies and try to face ganondorf once more.

A quick list of crossovers: I won't explain these in length, since they can range from having their own plot to just being a fun mental concept. So, the things I have made crossover aus with are:

Warrior Cats

Batman

Jojo's Bizarre Adventure

Persona 5

Pokemon

(there are other, smaller ones, these are just the ones i consistently pay attention to)

So! These are the majority of my legend of zelda aus, some of which I may write, some of which just exist in my mind for fun, all of which I wouldn't mind talking more about if anyone is curious!

[vampfucker666]

my #1 goal when i finally get my gender shit together is to be able to stop thinking about it <3 please for the love of god i want to stop thinking about it <3

[autism-corner]

you get it.

[qqueenofhades]

I really really REALLY need to see more people makimg the connection between trump and his russian handlers tbh.......like i know we've somehow gone through the looking glass of putin apologia but that piece abt the NYT you just posted, the bots, the interference: in the bag for trump? Yes. But i dont believe its due to his or even republican power or popularity or forcefulness.......this is a man with so much debt and kompromat thats only getting worse!! Not to sound kwazy BUT WE ARE BEING FULLY INFLITRATED and at the risk of conspiracizing i think the russians are ALSO behind the Times's demise along with so many other information centers etc. Like i KNOW these leftists love him but like. Wouldnt they care a LITTLE abt being manipulated like this???

Trump is 100% an active, willing, and eager Russian agent. That's not even paranoid conspiracy theory, that's just the only reasonable interpretation of the facts:

NOT TO MENTION that in the next two years after the Helsinki conference where Trump kowtowed to Putin in every way, the CIA admitted to losing huge and unusually high numbers of classified informants around the world (not CIA agents, but people secretly working for the American government in often-hostile countries):

Once again, this all happened when Trump was in office, when he was actively handing over CIA intel to the Kremlin against the wishes of the entire national security establishment, and which other experts have suggested was directly as a result of Trump handing over the identities of American informants to Russia, including those stationed in Russia itself:

Now, I could go on, but you get the point. Not to mention that Trump just lost a major UK-based lawsuit against Christopher Steele, the former MI6 agent who was the first to provide documents linking Trump to Russia in the controversial "Steele dossier":

And now: Trump is deeply in hock for hundreds of millions in legal fees and punitive judgments that are only increasing by the day, he somehow just came up with $90 million to appeal the judgment against E. Jean Carroll (nobody knows where he got this money either), and Russian state TV spends all their time openly salivating for Trump's return to the presidency (so he can hand over Ukraine and the rest of NATO and, as he literally said, "let Russia do whatever the hell they want.") I know we're largely numb to all the awful treasonous shit that Trump does, but like. This isn't a conspiracy theory, this is just what's going on in plain sight, and while the Online Leftists have recently become so stupid that I honestly can't tell if it's just terminal brainworms or active Russian psyops, it's strongly indicated that it is in fact a mix of both:

So, like. Just some food for thought.

[ceofcatgirls]

//suggestive

Going to finally make a post about this bc its been haunting my mind for a good month or two at this point--

This is a brief-ish post about guns being used as a metaphor for masculinity, power, and potential stand-in for phallus imagery in the dollars trilogy. I'll also be speaking about these things from a general stand point too, but I'll try to focus on how and where they interconnect.

I doubt most ppl will read all of this but I have brainworms so I need to put this out somewhere .

I think a lot of these points can be said about Westerns in general, btw. Not just Leone movies. However I'll focus on the dollar trilogy because this is already too long and needs to have a focus.

Now, I'm sure masculinity will need no defining, but I'll briefly show what definition of phallic imagery I use;

(Yes I'll eventually tie all this to the homoeroticism present in the movies, with a slight feminist bent to this analysis)

(I want you to keep in mind throughout this post that guns are metaphoric stand ins for dicks lol, just so i dont have to keep repeating that all the time)

I think this definition is quite good as it incorporates the concept of power into itself, which imo is a must-have when discussing masculinity in artwork.

As expected, there is an undeniable connection between phallic imagery and masculinity, which is also tied to power. A lot of masculinity throughout human history has relied upon genitals (even if not completely) to assert itself, which in turn, would affect the power relations men and women have, but also between men themselves. After all, the patriarchy is dependent on gender, with the male gender having the upper hand. This would mean, within a patriarchal society, men with more masculinity have more power, so we can see how sexuality is so tied to the patriarchy also, and how men will inevitably compete.

I'll start with perhaps one of the most obvious examples of this from the trilogy; which also conveniently has phallic imagery, or phallic metaphors.

Specifically, I'll start with the first proper interaction Colonel Mortimer and Manco have in For a Few Dollars More

(I'll link the clip just in case)

I'll state the obvious first; this is obviously a competition to define who would have the most power (and thus upper hand) in their relationship. That's why neither character backs down, and why there is a tense animosity between the two. Of course its also more complicated than that; Manco, the youngest of the two, is obviously taking this more seriously and is the more antagonistic. Mortimer seems to just be entertaining him at times, whilst also trying to show that his years of experience can give him the upper hand. Its a perfect scene presenting power, age, experience, who the characters are, and how their relationship will be forward from this.

And of course, as any western, guns are used for this.

Perhaps it's the perfect genre for what Sergio Leone wanted to present. Guns are the perfect metaphor for a phallus; they display power, they display masculinity, and they even have the shape! They can define life or death, much like how male sexuality, and therefore a phallus, can define a man's position in the patriarchy.

The shootout ends in a draw, as both Mortimer and Manco are skilled with their guns. Their stand-off for power and dominance led to a standstill and an equilibrium between the two. This will then define their relationship, as they form a equal partnership.

(And of course, perhaps Mortimer was being kind to Manco and held back a bit. He did the same in the end of the movie, by letting him take all the rewards. To Mortimer, there is more to gunslinging than an attempt to assert masculinity. And the fact that he holds back in his competition with Manco presents a level of respect he has for him, which adds on to the already existing homoeroticism of two men using guns to assert their dominance onto each other. I'd even argue that's what makes the homoeroticism purposeful, in this movie's case.)

There are other examples of guns bring used to impose masculinity throughout For a Few Dollars More. That is the crux of every final duel after all. But Mortimer and El Indio don't have significant homoerotic undertones so I won't get into it.

My other favourite example of this occurance in the dollars trilogy, is in The Good, The Bad and The Ugly.

It's a quick, small moment in a wider, longer scene. However I like how it gets across its message in a simple way.

It's the end of the scene where Angel Eyes forces a partnership onto Blondie.

I think it's important to mention how this is how Sergio Leone chose to end a scene where Angel Eyes and Blondie form a partnership. Its basically telling the viewer that Blondie consents to working with Angel Eyes. On a surface level, Blondie is sliding the gun to its holster to show that he's making peace with Angel Eyes. However, further introspection on the subtext also reveals other things.

For starters. The slow sliding in and the zoom in on the gun, with it becoming the centre point of the scene, easily becomes homoerotic (I don't think I need to explain how sexually suggestive it looks), but with it being seen as a sign of peace, it can also be seen as a sign of not only consent, but also submissiveness. Blondie here is admitting that he's under the thumb of Angel Eyes, and he can't do anything about it, not even with a gun. He can't challenge his power, nor his masculinity. The phallic imagery here only adds on to all of these points, for reasons mentioned previously.

Moving on from specific scenes, I'll mention something present throughout the movie that the definition I used above also mentions; cigars can also been stand-ins for phallic imagery, and masculinity.

Do I really have to mention how The Man With No Name is literally always having a cigar in his mouth ??? Its a very obvious oral fixation, one that Sergio Leone uses to his advantage.

Leone doesn't just use a cigar to make TMWNN look cool. The cigar, much like how a gun was used to represent Manco and Mortimer's, and Blondie's and Angel Eyes', relationships and partnerships, its also used to represent the relationship between Blondie and Tuco.

The scene where, imo, Blondie's and Tuco's relationship changes, is where Blondie offers Tuco a cigar after eavesdropping the conversation between Tuco and his brother.

And Tuco takes it, smokes it and grins!

Notably, Tuco's and Blondie's changing relationship is shown through a cigar rather than a gun, which is objectively significantly less violent, which sets them apart from the other relationships. There is also a closer contact between them, as in the other iterations of TMWNN never gave his gun to any ally of his, much less shared such a close contact as mouth-to-mouth.

The homoeroticism is rather obvious, and in this cade, it's present without power but still with phallic imagery.

(Another notable example was, if my memory serves correctly, in a Fistful of Dollars, Joe lights up a cigar for Ramone. But I won't mention that much since I could be confusing this for another movie, but if it did happen, it's also another scene packed with symbolism, and quite the opposite to Tuco's and Blondie's cigar scene).

Continuing to speak more generally, there are often focus and zoom ins on the guns in the movies. This peaks at the final Mexican standoff in GBU, where the guns are in their holsters and belts. Its natural that they'd be near their crotches too, but that only emphasises the masculinity, power and phallic imagery already present in the movie (as well as tension in the scene).

It comes with no surprise when Blondie chose Angel Eyes to shoot at. After all, Tuco and he had already made peace with each other. The only true masculine competition was between Angel Eyes and Blondie + Tuco.

There are also scenes where TMWNN shows off his skills with his gun; displaying his masculinity again through phallic imagery, so it's no wonder he went to become a figure of masculinity.

There is also the scene where Tuco acquires a new gun after being abandoned by Blondie. That represents what was mentioned previously; how men often fight for power. In this case Blondie takes away Tuco's power and masculinity by humiliating him in a desert. Tuco acquiring a new, polished and refined gun is his way of reclaiming his masculinity after Blondie emasculated him.

I won't speak much about A Fistful of Dollars, because the relationship between Joe and Ramone isn't as developed as the other relationships in the other movies. But it's also worth noting how a focal point in the final duel includes Joe's pistol and Ramone's supposedly stronger gun.

"When a man with a .45 meets a man with a rifle, you said the man with the pistol is a dead man. Let's see if that's true. Go ahead, load up and shoot."

In here, Joe reclaims his masculinity through a final duel. I wish the movie had been longer so I could connect potential homoeroticism to this scene like I did with the other examples, but I think it's a good scene, so I mentioned it nonetheless.

Sergio Leone movies are very much centred around men. That's generally how westerns work, too. But I think it's interesting, as it adds aligns with the analysis that men uphold the patriarchy between themselves, and this is even more true with Leone movies as they include little to no women (whereas many westerns have at least one or two), so most interactions are between men.

I'm not suggesting Sergio Leone intended all this. I do think the homoeroticism, phallic imagery and masculinity is purposeful. He was a Marxist, so perhaps the feminist angle to all this was also purposeful, but I don't think that's the case. Much like his contemporaries, Leone focused on class analysis when critiquing power structures (this mostly in his other movies), so the patriarchal angle was perhaps unintentional. I like to give the benefit of the doubt to artists when analysing their art, though, so I'm always happy to be proven wrong.

As I said. This is way too long and no one will probably read all of it. There are far more examples but I won't include every bc this is already a long asf post.

What the conclusion? I need to stop thinking about gay people!!!!!!!!!

A look into how my braincells look whenever I think about these homos a bit too much;

And this is how I felt writing this post:

And the thing is there's so much more I can say but I don't wanna make this too long esp since this is me ranting more than a proper analysis but jfc Leone always made sure to make his movies so damn gay it's actually insane

[lumothespadesman]

Rabbitdragon got me so bad I cant even make fanart cause I'll giggle myself to death. God please help me I have like 10 episodes left of build and so many unexpressed emotions over these two Im going insane.

Sento and Kasumi parallels so often presented that Im starting to think Its an intentional hinting at this point

Blowing Ryuuga up with my mind rn why are yuo so bisexual

Why does Sento have Ryuuga flashbacks every 5 seconds like. Ok bro. Okay. Keep it up fruitboy. Not like I dont know what you are.

Episode 34 being called "the best match, separated" LIKE WHAT A WAY TO DRIVE IT HOME

Build is my fabourite brainworm and all the rabbitdragon fanart I've found thus far just makes it more powerful... I will join soon I promise.... I just need time for the autism to settle....

Sowwy for rambling.. like I said, cant do fanart or I'll explode and die so take some banger lumo words instead

Also Im a sento kinnie . Probably. 🫡

Also also what THE FUCK IS THE PHOTOBOOK. ITS ALWAYS THE PHOTOBOOKS BRO

[nalpurex]

i got souyo brainworms again and i gotta share some thoughts i have

this ones a long one so ill put a 'keep reading' thing here just in case yall dont wanna scroll past a wall of text

basically some headcanons about a healthy mix of chad narukami and normal yu, injecting loads of gap moe into this guy

(and it eventually devolves into some weird semi-story because my brains really spiralling here)

okok so, hear me out, chad narukami isnt that bad as an idea...? maybe as a more calm iteration, just another layer to yu

in the p4 manga, we get to see some of yu's backstory. (its been a while since ive read it so i might get some details wrong but) his parents are very busy people, always working and moving around, so yu's always moving around with them

because of this, hes a very independent but also lonely kid. poor guy doesnt talk much with his own mom and dad, and he never really have a good enough chance to form lasting friendships

so when he moves to inaba and starts making friends there, hes like 'oh i really want to keep these guys around...' so he starts putting up a bit of a persona (hah), some cool, unfazed guy that everyone can rely on thinking thats what people might like more. to his credit, it works pretty well, but its a bit stifling for yu himself. hes never had this many friends though, so he'll keep it up

we all know yosuke admires him quite a fair bit as is, just as a dependable friend and a strong leader. he looks up to yu in these aspects, thinking hes basically the perfect guy. (and lets never unpack that thought.) talented, charming, 'gets all the ladies', that kind of stuff

at some point its just the two of them, maybe walking home from school or something, yu gets pretty comfortable and his facade slips a little. maybe he says something completely silly, or heavens forbid theres a stray cat along the road! ("awww look at the little guy, cmeree, pspsps- oh- ahem- uh, its pretty cute...") it surprises yosuke quite a bit. he's thinking about it a lot as they part ways, it was... definitely a new side to his partner, but its also not a bad thing...

after that, yosuke starts noticing more small things about yu. whenever he invites anyone to share his lunch, its always something they like. whenever the IT are talking, he makes sure no one feels left out. he likes cats, a lot more than hes willing to show, and he loves nanako a whole lot too. his partner's... a bit of a softie under that calm and collected vibe, isnt he?

(alternatively, it'd be really funny if the entire IT knew? like "yeah, hes got a straight face all the time and sparkles fly around him whenever he strikes a pose, but hes got a dedicated schedule for hanging out with us and hes always asking when we're free. hes a big puppy, really.")

anyways, yosuke tries to encourage him to show more of this other side of him. stuff like "c'mon, we'll think you're cool either way!" and yu at first is a little hesitant, so yosuke suggests he just try it out with him

he feels some pride about it, because hes the first to learn about this side of yu! his partner trusts him the most, hes the most comfortable around him! (whats this strange other feeling? hm. dont like that.)

yu takes a little more time with the others, but theyre very welcoming about it nonetheless. specifically, they find it very charming! (making cute shapes in your bento? sewing cute stuffed toys with kanji? playing with literally every single stray cat you lay your eyes on? hell yeag.)

of course the facade doesnt completely shatter, because some parts of it are still true to yu. its just that he'll now crack the dumbest joke youve heard in your life with the same old straight face

(aaand now to derail for the sappy stuff huhuhu)

because yosuke's usually the first to be exposed to whatever new shenanigans yu's up to, eventually he starts getting some... weirder things. he brings some of it up to the other IT members and he looks insane, like:

"what? he hasnt been giving you guys origami?"

"why would he? i mean itd be cool, but thats just his part-time job isnt it? hes probably sick of paper cranes!"

"cranes... haha, yeah..." (as he thinks about the row of stupid paper animals sitting on his windowsill)

yu over time starts getting real sweet with yosuke, and he kind of gets the feeling he should just... keep this to himself...? especially when he doesnt see him acting this way with anyone else, and a small part of him wants to keep it to himself. all of this, just for him.

but that would be kind of gay, wouldnt it? hes not gay, is he...? he gets pretty happy whenever yu smiles at him, whenever he does something for him, but its just because he appreciates him as his partner... right?

eventually it all comes to a head when yu invites him to that... that spot high up in inaba. (ykno the one, its got the railing and shit.)

yosuke's climbing the hill, wondering whats yu gonna tell him, and at the top he sees him already waiting there as the sun's about to set on a nice breezy day

he kinda jokes a bit about it, like "damn did you ask me to come here now for the atmosphere?" but yu's strangely quiet

so they kinda just stand in a bit of an awkward silence before yu clears his throat... and confesses to yosuke.

...

they just. stare at each other for a bit. yosuke's at a loss, heat slowly rising in his cheeks, because what the hell?

and then yu explodes into a flustered mess, bumbling about "hey yeah man you dont have to accept if you dont wanna, i was just saying things yknow? you dont really have to-"

yosuke cuts him off, sighing a little. he tells him its okay, hes kinda had a feeling he felt the same way but he wasnt ready yet... and now his partner's confessing to his face, he cant really put it off anymore, can he?

("by the way, did you plan this? like, the timing and everything?"

"i... had a hard enough time saying 'i like you' with a straight face as it was, i kind of had to..."

"... ah.")

[paper-cities]

op I am SCREAMING TO YOU ABOUT KILLUGON THEY ARE THE BRAINWORMS THE VOICES

Other than that I hope you understand how much the tags on your last kitty Killua post hurt me (and made me laugh, emotional rollercoaster love it)

Don't mind me I'm just going insane and I'd love to scream more at you but I NEED YOUR KG HEADCANONS SO WE CAN SCREAM TOGETHER

HI HELLO ANON!!! Ty for allowing me to break your heart w silly killugon animal au!!!!! I can fit SO MUCH hurt/comfort into these bad boys <33

Incoming rambling under the cut (I'm sorry)

I posted some general killugon hcs here but there are always more soooo:

-Alluka and Nanika bond with Gon super quick. Killua finds it incredibly charming.

-Everyone else knows Gon and Killua are meant to be for AGES before they realize it. It makes Leorio want to scream sometimes, but Kurapika holds him back because "they have to get together on their own time. No one should rush them."

-Gon with dimples, need I say more?

Also I'm obsessed with my silly animal au rn so here's some hcs for that too (sorry):

-I think in this AU animal features are rare and part of the reason Killua and Gon bond. Killua and Alluka/Nanika are the only Zoldycks to inherit their dad's animal features and the Zoldycks take this as part of the reason Killua needs to be the next heir.

-Killua's pupils dilate and he slow blinks like a cat at Gon sometimes. Gon is oblivious to what this means (i trust you/love you in cat speak). Someone points it out one day and Killua is ridiculously embarrassed bcus he doesnt realize hes doing it.

-Gon wags his tail so hard his whole bottom half shakes sometimes. Ofc hes hit his tail on many things (and people) leading to numerous injuries both to himself and others. After he gets it docked (partly due to injuries inflicted on him and the aforementioned injuries he gives himself) he basically just wags his whole butt when hes excited. Killua thinks its super cute but would never admit it.

-If they're apart Gon likes to carry something that smells like Killua (a shirt or jacket) because he's got a blood hound sense of smell. He finds it immensely comforting. Before they get together Gon makes up excuses about why he's doing it, after they're official he admits the truth and Killua feels like an idiot for not noticing sooner.

-Gon gets called guard dog by strangers sometimes because of how he protects Mito, then Killua, and eventually Alluka and Nanika too. Killua jokingly calls him a "good boy". It's meant to be patronizing, but totally gives Gon butterflies. He tries to play it off, but flushing cheeks and fierce wagging give him away every time.

-Play bite each other when wrestling as kids on their limbs. When they reunite as adults who dont know how to handle emotions they end up wrestling again and Gon bites Killua on the neck. They both get too flustered to keep fighting and make up excuses to stop and pretend like theyre totally not in love with each other because it's Very Normal And Very Not At All Romantic to leave bite marks on your friend.

ANYWAY IF YOU READ ALL THAT YOURE A TROOPER TY and ofc pls scream to me abt your hcs!!!!!!!

[aihoshiino]

ive been feeling really pessimistic about the manga as of late, your ruby post really put into words how ive been disappointed. idk, its been harder to enjoy the manga because now every wednesday im just scared that the story is going to be ruined further. do you think there’s any chance of salvation with the manga at this point? any way it could still end in a satisfying way? just…i dont wanna fall out of love with this manga because its been so meaningful for me…plus i have way too much merch of it lol.

Tbh anon, I can't tell you that! I'm not Akasaka and I don't live in his brain and it's becoming increasingly clear to me that the ending OnK slides into is not one that's going to be overly satisfying to me but I think pinning all your hopes on The Perfect Ending isn't really the best way to look at things. If you love OnK because something in it made you fall in love, that thing is still always going to be there no matter how the manga ends.

Maybe I'm just biased because I am the type of person who gets the most brainworms for art that is messy and imperfect because (as the however many words I have written about this series can probably tell you) something I can endlessly chew over and poke at with likeminded people is always going to be infinitely more compelling to me than something that is traditionally 'good' but lacks the space for open-ended discussion. Give Me Mid Or Give Me Death.

Take the characters you love and tell your own stories with them, have fun imagining what could be and what could've been. Write fic, draw comics, roleplay, put that love for the work into creative energy that brings you enough satisfaction that you don't feel as beholden to the canon text, however it turns out. We're all just playing dolls at the end of the day, so why not make it fun for yourself?

[rivalmelty]

one (1) person asked (@saltasaurus-loricatus) so i’m gonna ramble about my ranpo and fyodor narrative foils brainworms

possible spoiler warning under the cut

you’ll have to forgive the jumbled nature of my thoughts and if i forget anything bc i don’t have the manga/light novels/anime pulled up right this second to double check specifics these are more broad thoughts that ive been reiterating to friends over the years

okay so it’s not a detail in ln3 that’s explicitly stated but in the anime adaptation of untold origins, V is something to do with one fyodor dostoevsky and the way its place timeline wise the story of the play is a hell of a lot more in line with fyodor’s whole methodology even going as far as to “kidnap” (in quotations bc ranpo planned for it) ranpo simply because he was loudly parading around his own ability

now asagiri probably set this up as a way to show how the agency and fyodor have been both intertwined and diametrically opposed to each other since the beginning but To Me with the nature of the agency hinging on ranpo almost exclusively (you need a detective to have a detective agency) i took the first sentence of this paragraph and swapped out ‘the agency’ for ‘ranpo’

there’s also these four seconds in the s5 anime opening and when i tell you the psychological damage i took seeing fyodor and ranpo in the rainstorm while dazai was in the light i have a whole powerpoint presentation of the symbolisms and understanding of just these four seconds istg it has to mean something or anything especially when we know asagiri is at least somewhat involved in the anime scripts but i digress ill just say that fyodor facing the storm with his back to the audience vs ranpo facing the audience with his back to the storm is once again showing just how similar they are as characters even as opposing figureheads of their own organizations (fighting back the worms in my brain that want me to only talk about the significance of four seconds)

we know fyodor main motivation in bsd that being to eliminate ability users as they are a sin on mankind or whatever this is my main talking point with these two bc there’s only been two instances (i think) where fyodor and ranpo are within the same vicinity: the end of untold origins and right before the creation of amenogozen godman (which there is also a whole tangent for my. hm. como se dice frustration around that which might or might not end up in here idk) only two despite how ranpo aligns perfectly in fyodor’s motivations let me elaborate

in untold origins we know that V has a thing against ability users it falls in line with fyodor’s ideals still he watches ranpo (now idk if fyodor is aware this early on that ranpo doesn’t have an ability but we know dazai mentions it in prison that ranpo surpasses even ability users implying his lack of one) bc at this point we as an audience know ranpo isn’t gifted and if fyodor is successful, he would be the only main member of the ada to survive the wiping out of all ability users and even then ranpo could continue natsume’s wishes in retrieving the book and fixing everything single-handedly since we know ranpo would go to any lengths for his family (this would be where i would tangent again and yap about demon ranpo to my friends)

last year i said to my friend “if asagiri reveals that fyodor’s motives all stem from ranpo because if he wants a world without abilities and ranpo is like some all perfect man without an ability as god intended or something like that then like ranpo is proof that the world would be better without abilities thus resulting in the beginning of v into the doa i will explode” now i no longer think that his whole way of thinking stems from ranpo since now we know his ability however i would not be surprised if the creation of the doa was because of ranpo and fukuzawa since i dont think we ever got a why as to their origins and bc of fukuchi’s involvement a sort of tether to the agency and by extension ranpo

here’s another quote i’ve said to my friend about ranpo fyodor “the other man (ranpo) who is greatness personified and without an ability as [fyodor] so desires, surrounds himself with ability users and would risk anything for their safety ‘ranpo is everything the world could be’” and yet ranpo runs head first into a tripolar singularity to save the one man who he trusts wholeheartedly even if that man has placed his trust in the wrong hands leaving ranpo to have to pick up the pieces. ranpo still runs towards fukuzawa as a man without an ability as a kid with only one person to look out for him ranpo still runs even if he won’t survive to see an after and that’s where we are today

ranpo and fyodor being narrative foils yet ranpo has all but disappeared from the airport from fyodor’s line of sight from the narrative and i don’t understand but for the sake of holding myself off from yet another tangent i’ll leave it at that

sorry if that’s all over the place and incoherent i’m just not normal about them and the possibilities and everything that there is and that there is not i just find them so interesting and unexpected as foils considering their irl works but also i can’t really read irl dostoevsky i just didn’t click with it but im gonna be done with this if yall want to talk more about this please i would love to i love talking bsd theory sm

[anachronistic-falsehood]

SO. ON THE TOPIC OF LOSS OF AUTONOMY. i am having the analysis brainworms now i hope u dont mind me going off in ur inbox. hi :]

there is something to be said about how vash's name is used against him constantly. that loss of who he even is as a person. i think about this so much. his name, his very identity is taken away from him. just the mere mention of the name vash the stampede is enough to send an ENTIRE town into a panic. it happens so much and its DEVASTATING to me. hes been labelled a monster across the entire world, and people who stick by his side after hearing his name are few and far between. theres been so much fear tacked onto his name, so much so that OTHER outlaws have used it on multiple occasions to make themselves more powerful. using his name to commit crimes that the real vash would be horrified to even consider. power in names and all that.

vash even. leans into it himself at a certain point. in order to protect the people of augusta he runs through the city shooting bullets into the air and solidifying his image of a deranged killer in the pursuit of. saving everyone. the only way theyll listen to him is if they think hes going to kill them all. if theyre afraid of him. theres also the part in hang fire (? i think its that one) where hes walking through the halls of the sand steamer singing about killing people in order to scare the bandits into not hurting the hostages.

and then you think about. eriks. how lina and her grandma took him in and accepted them as part of his family. how the town around them accepted him only because they had no idea who he actually was. he was a good guy... up until they learned he was vash. and then we get the conversation between the two men in the bar talking about how they should chase him out of town, despite living around him and knowinf him and seeing how good he is for . two years.

but lina and her grandma still accept him after that. theyre one of the only people besides milly/meryl/wolfwood who genuinely love and care abt him despite his name. they still want to keep him safe, grandma asks wolfwood to protect him and keep him out of trouble, even after learning hes the legendary outlaw gunman. because shes seen the true vash ans doesnt let the name scare her.

aughhh im rambling now i probably should have made this into my own post but this makes me SO fuckign crazy dude . give me ur thoughts id love to hear them.

I. YEAH. YEAH. OH MY GOD. Like. nothing is his own anymore. His name is used against him, his face is plastered on wanted posters. There is nothing about himself that he can truly call his. Not even his Plant powers! Because those are used against him time and time again by Knives in EVERY ADAPTATION!!!!

Like. Vash is no longer the name of a kid who once argued with his brother and laughed with his mother and celebrated his birthday and rolled around in grassy fields. It's the name of an outlaw who will kill at the drop of a hat. It's the name of an out-of-control human natural disaster who's leveled cities. If he doesn't even have his name, then what part of himself is really himself anymore?

AND THAT'S WHY I LOVE ERIKS! He finally has something of his own! He's got a name that attached to no one, and a life where he can settle down and stay out of the public eye. He finally has something that is truly his. And no one lets him keep that except for Lina and her grandma.

This guy really has no control over his own life doesn't he!!! He's a passive character in the story of his own life!!! He has nothing of his own, no identity past "humanoid typhoon" because everything about his identity has been stripped from him and morphed into something he's not. He has no say in anything in his life, not even who he is as a person, AND IT DRIVES ME BONKERS N FUCKING YONKERS!!!!

[skrs-cats]

have you read the lion blaze self harm scene? kinda sh ig he basically lets …ratscar i think like scratch him up bad by holding his powers back. interesting to me what’re ur thoughts? (idk if that’s the right definition, i’ve always defined it as having someone/yourself injure your body with the intent to hurt) sorry if this is a downer, i just know your a lion blaze enthusiast and wanted to know your thoughts

ohhh yes i do actually. its one of the few scenes i remember better bc i actually own the book where it happened.

to elaborate on the scene more, it happens after he has an argument with cinderheart, who claims they shouldnt be together since he's part of the prophecy, how his destiny is to save the clans (and coincidentally not get hurt) and them being mates would only be distractions

lion's rebuttal? instigate a fight w a patrol near the shadowclan border, disallow himself to fight back, and force the wounds to get inflicted on his body, as a show that he CAN choose to get hurt. that he CAN choose what kind of 'destiny' he should have. ive put my own thoughts about it under read more bc this got long (unsurprisingly jkhasdkjfhd)

i spent like a solid few minutes re-reading the chapter to gather my thoughts on it LOL i remember not thinking much about it when i was a kid, but i think its interesting to analyze now!

what was attempted to be written, at least, piques me bc its about lion trying to prove that they can exist outside of the narrative the prophecy has given them. which is funnily ironic, since the start of the chapter is of him having self doubts regarding saving the clans when they found out theres a fourth cat, how that basically means that the three of them wouldnt be enough, how his destiny might have changed. reading this chapter just gave me a new can of brainworms but ill try not to delve into it too much bc its gonna get way messier LMAOOO

to go back to lion purposely getting himself hurt, i dont think he's the type of person who would do that for the sake of it, unless as a really dumb way to prove a point. but it makes me think he really doesnt have much of a care of whether he'd get hurt or not. a severe lack of self-preservation, and all that. cats back at camp react to his wounds w all around shock, he's herded into the med den all the while he acts like he'll be fine. i dunno if the shock from the cats is just bc theyre just so used to seeing him NOT hurt, or if his wounds were really that bad. but either or both still pretty much gives me a lot to think about. homeboy doesnt know the limits of his body, and that makes for interesting scenarios of how he manages to deal w that after losing his powers

[futchgunk]

Bladders Gat3 Finish doc

:et me get the rest of my fucking feelings out about baldurs gate:

im so mad bc any character who is not human or realism/white passoid is literally regarded with the same type of dismissal that you would see in mainstream media. all the companions that are not white passing are treated like shit and have bad ends.

-Lae'zel (gith) gets abducted by the a bad guy for the last 1/3 of the game (also we could talk about her being the fighter class as default is also a bit racist, but the deep dive will be its own essay). and then she can die and not be able to be resurrected. (resurrection scrolls and revivify spells ONLY work on companions and not npcs)

Wyll (THE ONLY BLACK HUMAN MAIN CHARACTER, side note we could talk about how is name is spelled like a white mormon names their kids) is a big talking point bc he is constantly strung between the expectations put upon him by himself, his family, and then his pact matron. AND NO MATTER WHAT OPTION IS CHOSEN WILL CONTINUES TO SUFFER IN THIS EXECUTIVE PURGATORY. He starts as a "i have to kill this devil" actually its a tiefling (suddenly its now fantasy racial infighting, so of course u dont wanna kill another companion so early in the game, so Wyll is forced through Hell's Circles and the exposure makes him grown large demonic horns. (Wyll does not have control over his body or himself, nor his actions, and only suffers the consequences of the actions of the Tav (PC)). Wyll even gets to have the "I did everything for my father's (approval just to have my father misunderstand me and then the most noble course of action is to be independent because i am still bound by choices prior and also if two black people form any sort of family on screen its disgusting and blasphemous so I might as well treat my father like my brother who i never was able to relate to when i was younger" THIS IS NOT MENTIONING THAT WYLL IS LITERALLY THE SON OF THE DUKE OF BALDURS GATE. HE GIVES UP HIS STATUS OF NOBILITY TO BE HEROIC AND IS JUST FOREVER CONTINUALLY PUNISHED. THE DUKE OF BALDURS GATE IS BRAINWASHED TO RELINQUISHING HIS TITLE AND CORONATES THE WHITE DEVIL EVIL DICK BAD GUY WHO SOLD KARLACH (TIEFLING) TO HELL FOR GIGGLES.

Karlach (tiefling) is a bright eyed noble hearted character that is looking for solace after having 10 years of her life taken from her when she got sold to devil and hell and made a war machine slave because thats perfectly tragic. Her heart is taken from her and replaced with an engine (machine) that is slowly killing her when she is not in Hell. THE ENGINE DOESNT EVEN HAVE A GOOD IN GAME MECHANIC, YOU GET TO SET URSELF ON FIRE TO GET A 'HEAT' DEBUFF THAT U CAN CONSUME ON AN ATTACK, you build heat any other way, so its like only <Lv. 4, and if you minmaxed the opening scene, you get a 2h sword that does this every attack, so like its a bit moot and useless. Furthermore i think its really stupid that shes yearning for companionship and yet is not allowed because her engine makes her to hot to touch. Which rubs me the wrong way as a black transfem (u could argue tiefling coded) because I already feel like that. I feel like im too intense and hot with my passions and i intimidate people to the point that I'm actively denying myself the intimacy i crave so dearly just by existing and expressing myself. The taxation of life shouldn't really exist in video games!! The whole party gets mind enslaving brainworms that magically dont work because the plot armor is really strong yet the demon character who EVEN WHEN THEY SEEK HELP IN THEIR COMPANION QUEST ARE DENIED THE REALITY OF LIVING COMFORTABLY BECAUSE THEY SHOULD ONLY EXIST IN HELL. (cried actually). Before the last of this mess, she offers to turn into a mindflayer just to give herself the peace that she could be the hero that saves the world (become the villain because its better than who you currently exist as, or die being yourself (who has LITERALLY BEEN DEMONIZED). Karlach doesn't get to have have a happy ending because she either dies from engine overdose or goes to hell just to fucking breathe. THE KICKER IS THAT WYLL, THE PERSON WHO WAS GOING TO KILL HER AS PART OF THE WARLOCK PACT, OFFERS TO ACCOMPANY HER IN HELL AND FIGHT BY HER SIDE. WHICH MEANS THAT ALL OF THE MARGINALIZED IDENTITIES EFFECTIVELY FUCK OFF AFTER YOU SAVE THE WORLD.

White victim Shadowheart has the option of rejecting what she knows (which was a lie told her) or believing it. The worst she has to do is kill a bound seraphim, and free her parents held captive by putting their souls to rest (she turns them into light, killing them). She gets sick weapons. Clerics are busted anyway.

White devil astarion got to ascend in pale supremacy and got cool vampire powers (bite+, bite++, buff on kill, and consume buff for heal || next hit crits). The final battle WAS BUGGED FOR ME. I WAS STUCK ON THE BOSS FIGHT FOR TWO WEEKS BECAUSE THE END OF BATTLE SCREEN WOULDNT LOAD. LIKE I MADE A WHOLE NOTHER CHARACTER BECAUSE I BEAT THE BOSS 7 TIMES AND MY BUGFIXED DIDNT WORK!!

if im gonna get so heated about video games i am just gonna go play bloodborne so i have no room to complain bc im constantly sucking

[divorcetual]

yoki being like dead but not dead is so interesting btw like . is he only alive because of the bug . hes stuck in a timeloop too . i love that u keep it vague but also somewhat like dropped a lot of hints and info because i feel like im putting red strings on a conspiracy board type of deal . why is pastex guving me brainworms (its from how enthusiastically u talk abt it) getting a good grade in hyping up friends ocs . something normal to want and maybe possible to achieve . what if i expldoe waoygh

HE GETS PUT IN TWO TIMELOOPS ACTUALLY !! the main one I have to keep a secret but the mini one is fine to talk abt

So yk how Koro is a ripoff of Rokos Basilisk? [<- for ppl who dont know it was a thought experiment where like. Imagine theres a benevolent AI that wants to ad has the capacity to give humanity a heaven on earth, BUT the catch is that anyone who knew abt the possibility of it and didnt start working on it qould be tortured for eternity] Well at one point Koro gets semi-completed and atp Yoki had defected from Koro (<- only took him 500 years....) so obv he was one of the ppl to be tortured.

WELL, Yoki gets trapped in the torture labyrinth (literally) and lives in a one-week loop. He's in it for what is to him about 300 years, which atp bevomes torture- there was no major trauma Yomi had that would effect him, not in the way Day and Ishawuu have at least. A major facet of Yoki's character is that he just deals with it. The REASON he got through the 100 years of being trapped under debris, the reason he continues to serve Koro despite no considerable reward for it, the reason he put up with everything is becaise he has shut himself off. He is a co soderably less emotional person than Day or Ish in the first place, so he has just. stopped caring about anything.

So unlike Ishawuu, with a clearly defined and debilitating fear, or Day, with a very prevolent trauma to go off of, Yoki couldn't me tortured like that. But the one thing that gets to him, the thing that turned him into the husk he is now, is isolation. Living in a very plain but clesrly looping world gets to you. It's almost another form of white room torture. There comes a time that theres just nothing keft for you to do but go insane.

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

I'm so happy to see you getting active again. Honestly, I thought this account just died 😅😅😅😅😅.

I have fallen in love with your posts, especially those meta analysis about Comte are so on-point. I can't wait to see your reviews about his drama CD.

Also, have you seen Comte’s 6th birthday story? I saw the CG but I dont have the chance to read the story. Is ok if you also give some spoilers about it? 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

Glad to be back! Sorry for the scare--life just got ahead of me, and alas my spoons were limited and focused on survival. That being said, I've still been reading/translating his stories, so I have indeed seen Comte's 6th bday story.

I think you've given me a bit too much power 🤣 but I'm happy to gush about Comte anytime. Since I'm going to discuss something that hasn't been released in the English version yet, the deets will be under a cut.

A reminder that I'm not a professional, so this is by no means an infallible translation. I try to convey what I find to the best of my ability, but I'm sure there are nuances I miss.

Where to begin? Honestly this story was A Lot, and arguably among my favorites, but the title of the CG/story is allegedly "Courtship at the Nape of the Neck." Get hyped, y'all--if I understood things correctly, it's exactly as it sounds.

The story begins with MC and Comte on their way to a ball for his birthday, and MC is all like "honey. When I said I wanted this day to be for you. That did not mean. Another dress for me." To which Comte's response is "New phone, who dis."

All jokes aside, MC does feel bad about it but he insists it makes him very happy, so she concedes:

MC: You got me a dress as a gift again…despite the fact that it’s your birthday;;;

I smiled at MC, who seemed to feel bad about it.

Comte: It’s because it’s my birthday that I gave you that dress. It’s my greatest pleasure to gift them to you, and accompany you in it.

I reached out beside me to stroke her hair gently.

Comte: It’s always fun to think about what kind of dress would suit you…And besides, when I see you all dressed up like this, I can’t help but fall in love with you all over again.

MC then mentions that she's made him a gift, and downplays it--likely out of shyness--before handing it over.

It was a handkerchief with a simple yet elegant design, with a name embroidered on it.

Comte: Did you embroider this yourself? How did you prepare such a wonderful thing?

MC: Hehe, I did my best under Sebastian’s guidance.

(To do something this intricate by hand would have taken quite a bit of time…)

Comte: Thank you, MC. I’ll treasure it.

I felt a warmth fill my chest at the sweet gesture, and I dropped a kiss to the handkerchief I received.

Comte: I’d prefer to be kissing you, but I fear if I do I won’t want to get out of the carriage after I start.

So like, yes, take a moment to scream, because wow. First of all, how dare you Abel. Second of all, AAAAAAAAAAA IT'S SO SUBTLE AND SWEET BUT ALSO LOWKEY SULTRY HOW DARE!!! I will have my r e v e n g e--

But also??? Aside from my brainworms, I really do love this part of him. Even though her gift is simple, he really does cherish the effort and dedication she put into making him something. I guess I think about how someone in his position could easily downplay its significance--but he doesn’t. He’s mindful of how her feelings saturate the act, and he honors it openly. And in case you think this is a one-off instance, it really isn’t. In his Anniversary story event, there is a direct emphasis on how he still keeps MC’s wedding gift to him--the preserved flower pins--polished as if they were newly gifted to him, not a speck of dust clouding their surface, lovingly tended.

I think it’s very easy for people to minimize him as unfeeling or haughty the way only very rich people can be, but...the his character construction and the intimate personal details you see if you’re close to him reveal that he doesn’t really fit that stereotype at all. Sure he’s selective about who he shares himself with, but that doesn’t make him fundamentally shallow.

Moving right along, MC gets bashful (and honestly who could blame her idk how she even makes sustained eye contact help) and they arrive at the venue in short order. None of this is especially notable except that it says, when they exit the carriage:

Her small, lovely hand covered the one I gently held out for her to take.

Thanks! I'm devastated!!! You just broke down adoration to its bare essentials!!!! I'm a romantic for one person and one person only, and it's HIM--

Naturally, they enter the ballroom and everyone flocks over to congratulate Comte on his birthday. Gracious and measured as ever, he accepts each one in turn, but MC is silent/stiff for most of it. All of a sudden, MC says she's going to get some fresh air and slips away to the balcony to clear her head. Comte is understandably confused and tries to follow after her, until he's intercepted by another noblewoman.

(What’s the matter…? It’s not like her to leave on her own like that so suddenly.)

When I tried to follow her at once--

Well-dressed noblewoman: Wait, Comte

As soon as I’m stopped by the woman, melodious music swells to fill the hall.

Well-dressed noblewoman: I’d love to spend some time with le Comte tonight. Won’t you share a dance with me?

A woman with a charming smile from the past crossed my mind.

(In the past, when I hadn’t been in love, I would have accepted such an invitation for the sake of simply enjoying the novelty of a single moment; that ephemeral warmth was something I relied on in the endless sea of loneliness that was eternity.)

--But now, I don’t feel that way anymore.

(Because I met MC.)

Comte: I’m sorry, but I’m afraid I’m already accounted for. Have a pleasant rest of the night, young lady.

So after Comte picks the correct answer, he continues on his way to the balcony and finds MC staring up at the sky.

Aight so like. I love when they have a certain writer create these stories, because they literally always make MC the strong and silent (stoic/defensive) type and Comte her little meow meow. It may be specific to me and my tastes but I love it here and I'm never leaving.

Before I add the transcription, I will say that I'm not really sure the "were you crying? did someone bully you?" part was something I fully understood. It appeared to be some kind of idiom/nuance the translator struggled to pick-up on, so I apologize for that. But it is my understanding that he's alluding to MC being picked on/unhappy.

When MC turned around, she had a surprised but also somewhat anxious look on her face.

(If I try to ask her what’s wrong…she’ll say it’s nothing. In that case…)

Comte: Were you crying? Did someone bully you?

MC’s expression relaxed a little at my dramatics.

MC: What are you on about, I wasn’t crying or bullied. But if I was crying…what would you do?

Though she throws the question back at me, I smile in response.

Comte: A gentleman's handkerchief is there to wipe away a lady's tears. I would tend to you with the very handkerchief you gifted me tonight.

MC: Thank you. But, I’m not one to shed tears so easily.

Comte: That’s right, you’re very strong.

The anxiety that clouded her expression earlier has faded away now, and she’s smiling.

I hold my hand out to MC once again…

MC: Yes, with pleasure.

Y'all but the way she claps back, and then he kills with that line about the handkerchief. God damn sir, if nothing else you get full points for incredible verbal repartee. (Lowkey, I’d make out with him for his emotional intelligence alone, don’t look at me.)

Okay but because I can’t help myself. I love how he’s like. I’m No Gentleman, MC. I Am A Liar.

Also Comte: A gEnTlEmAn’S HaNdKeRcHieF iS tHeRe To--

Mfer certainly knows how to lay down the charm when he wants to cheer her up--

After that, it simply says they spend a lovely evening together and then cuts to them relaxing in a hotel near the venue. Cuddled together (GOD I WISH THAT WERE ME), MC eventually speaks up to explain what happened earlier that night.

MC: Hey, Comte…

MC is picking at the hem of her clothes absently when she calls out to me.

Comte: What’s the matter?

I caress her hair to encourage her to continue, and she slowly opens her mouth as if she were choosing her words very carefully.

MC: When I was on the balcony earlier tonight…I wasn’t crying, but I was pretty frustrated with myself. I saw so many beautiful women giving you their congratulations tonight, I can’t help but worry you’ll be snatched away from me…I’m sorry you had to see me like this on your special day…

So, in the immortal words of Beyonce, "What's worse, looking jealous or crazy? Jealous or crazy?" is basically the mood of this whole scene. I'm usually not the territorial type, but I wouldn't even blame MC for getting pissed--nobody likes to see other women ogle/grab at ya mans (especially when ya mans is Comte).

Also beginning to wonder if Comte has a certain interest in MC’s hair 🤔

(I see now, so that’s why)

Comte: MC

After hearing such a cute confession, my fingers moved from her hair to stroke her cheek.

Comte: It’s all right, you have nothing to apologize for. Besides which, I know how you feel--I’ve been jealous/frustrated plenty of times too.

MC: Oh…like when?

Comte: Always/All the time.

MC suddenly looks at me, looking as if she really hadn’t been aware of it.

Okay but when he just gives that flat expression and goes "ALWAYS" without hesitation, I nearly started wheezing with laughter. Petty and glamorous, I love him your honor it's not a phase!!!!

Comte: Today, for instance, that Baron who was in love with you from the moment you stepped into the hall. A young waiter brushed his hand against yours while handing you a champagne glass. Every time I see another man taken with you, my heart is agitated.

(Of course, it’s not limited to just today. It’s been like this ever since I fell in love with you…)

Comte: Rather immature for someone like me, isn’t it?

MC: Comte…

Comte: But now…I’m not the only one who feels that way anymore.

I wrapped my arm around her delicate waist and hugged her close, a sweet scent catching my attention.

Comte: Come, MC.

Just the thought of him seething because some random waiter brushed MC's hand literally just. Sent me. Like straight up astral projection, that is so much I had to stare at the nearest wall to cope. And like I'm not sure if it's the same guy, but I have to wonder if the Baron he's talking about is the one that hit on her in Comte's rt--because if that's the case, that would be hysterically funny. At the same time if it’s literally just some random dude that thought MC was pretty at first sight, that is somehow even funnier. Le Comte de "Peace was never an option" Saint Germain. Monsieur le “Don’t even think about looking at my wife. Walk away.” Comte.

I live for it, I love it, I regret absolutely nothing!!!!

I escort her to bed and sit with MC in my arms. I kissed her soft hair and laid my forehead on hers.

Comte: You belong to me, and I belong to you.

MC: Co--Abel…

She calls my name and settles against my chest, and I’m filled with such affection for her.

Comte: You’re so cute…Telling me all about the frustration and the bullying honestly. You’re so lovely I want to bite you.

"You belong to me, and I belong to you." SCREAMING, CRYING, THROWING UP THAT'S SO ROMANTIC AND TENDER AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

"You're so lovely I want to bite you." Do you promise. I want it in writing. 👁✒️

Then MC, who was silent as if she were thinking about something deeply, looks up--

Comte: …what is it, MC?

She pinches the skin of my neck between her lips and nips at me.

MC: I want to bite you too…I love Abel so much…

She keeps nipping at me, her soft lips nearly ticklish against my skin.

(I can’t believe you’re doing this…) NARUTO VOICE: BELIEVE IT!!!

She bit me lightly, and our eyes met.

MC: Am I the only one…allowed to do this to you?

Comte: Yes, of course…you can…bite me harder

So like. I'm aware I've already had several episodes in the process of recounting this birthday story and I apologize for the moments where I breach containment--But.

Bite.

Me.

Harder.

Wow, thanks, none of my thoughts are holy and I am forever changed. I am not going to heaven, and I'm okay with that. I lived, and that's what matters. BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK--

Also yes MC, girl get it!!! Go MC, go!!!!!! Live your best life!!!!!! Get his ass!!!!!

I leaned back to give her more room and she nodded, digging her blunt little teeth into me. The slightest pain is followed by a feverish arousal that blooms from my chest outward.

(I want to bite you even now, I want to love you forever)

MC: Abel…

She called my name again, as if she could sense the urge rising from deep inside me.

MC: I’m the only one who you will bite one day.

Comte: …Of course

(I only want you)

The reversal/mirroring???? The intimacy????? Comte being blindsided but literally out of his mind in love?????? Help??????? It’s more than I can bear??????

This is especially insane to me on the level of like. The game is pretty clear about how biting your lover (at least for vampires) is a mutually understood sign of courtship. It’s a clear sign of who your lover is. And the fact that MC uses that sign to convey her feelings despite being human????? As the signal that she’s ready to fully be his and wants no one else to be able to interfere with that??????? Long time coming but also BWAH, BWAH BWAH BWAH BWAH

The other part of the end that kills me is that. They make love. With her fully dressed. And sure not necessarily that notable out of context, HOWEVER. BECAUSE I NEED TO DIE ON THIS HILL. What he specifically says is:

I reach to undo her dress--before my hands freeze.

[Comte: It’s always fun to think about what kind of dress would suit you…And besides, when I see you all dressed up like this, I can’t help but fall in love with you all over again.] (He’s remembering what he said before.)

Comte: I’ll make love to you as you are tonight. You’re dressed up to my liking, after all.

For those of you who haven’t seen the CG. MC. Is in a black dress. With sleeves that are see-through. Low cut bust. A long and visible thigh slit. With slight gold accents.

SIR. SHE IS DRESSED. TO YOUR LIKING????????????

At this point I’m convinced Cybird wants me to be in palpitations before the game ends for good. So much for Mr. Prim and Proper, I know you nasty Comte--

The rest of the bits are fairly raunchy so I’ll forgo that (let it be known simply that he is a firm believer in foreplay) but there are a few lines that I want to focus on.

(You haven’t the slightest idea how captivated I am, do you?)

[He asks her to say what he can only hear on his bday, and naturally she says happy bday.]

The heat of where our bodies are connected, her voice crying out for more, my heart and soul are on fire with the twin calls.

Comte: MC…

I kiss her tears away before connecting our lips with a smile…

Comte: I love you, too

(MC, you are the best gift of my life.)

With a feeling that is equal to eternity, I dropped my lips to her delicate neckline and…--

A lot to unpack here, but I will try (and fail) to remain composed as we go through each one.

“MC, you are the best gift of my life.” Like. Sincerely don’t even know how to approach this one. I have no clever witticisms. No trite commentary. Literally it is just beyond touching...[insert your preferred sobbing meme here]. It’s an odd feeling because honestly it doesn’t even feel like a surprise; his actions 100% substantiate what he’s expressed. It feels more like the inevitable culmination of his devotion up to this point. But there’s just something about the way it’s crystallized into that simple but enormous sentiment. That she was something unexpected, but not only welcome--accepted with such gratitude and joy. 11/10 I was not okay when I first read it and I’m not even okay now, every minute is half-catatonic.

And now to the question many of you probably have as you wait for me to address it. Did he..........b i t e bite her? The answer is I have no freakin’ idea. That’s where the story ends, and there’s no itemized specification as to how he bites her. But the phrasing keeps bothering me. If it were just another harmless love bite--as we’ve seen him do before--it’s never prefaced with “a feeling equal to eternity.” That kind of distinction is only made when he’s talking about how he changed the men into turned vampires when he found them.

Additionally, so many of his most recent stories have featured MC as a vampire (AU settings) but also in the most recent Christmas story (in the normal mansion setting), he gets extremely close to biting her for real--the closest I’ve ever seen, up to this point.

Granted all I can really do is speculate, but I will say it feels skewed in the direction of “holy shit he bit her for real, this is not a drill, LET’S GOOOOOOO Y O O O O O O”

I hope this summary was as cathartic for you as it was for me. But yeah!!! This is the vast majority of the contents ✌🏼💛