#i dont have a car or id be long gone

[autisthottygoth]

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[genekies]

tag vent

[russellius]

February 15-16, 2023: Silverstone

[chisungie]

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[tootiecakes234]

Aged up Characters

MDNI: smutty

Katsuki had been gone for a month on an assignment and not only had he been away from you all that time, but it’d also been one of the most exhausting assignments he’d been on. Which is why he had EVERY intention of getting home and passing out in your shared bed for the next 3-4 business days.

He had a plan. Get home, take a shower and get directly into bed. Fuck food, fuck putting his things away.

But that entire plan went up in smoke when he got home.

He walks in with all his stuff and just drops everything close to the entrance. He trudges his way through the house and into your bedroom, when he hears the shower cut off.

He knew you were home because your car was in the driveway, but expected you to greet in the front room but he now sees you were otherwise occupied. What he didn’t expect was for you to come scampering out of the damn bathroom completely naked and dripping wet.

You of course screamed bloody murder because you hadn’t heard him come in.

“Katsuki what the hell?!! You scared the shit out of me! I could’ve killed you.”

He snorts, “with what? Your tits? Death by smothering??”

“Maybe dammit. My hearts almost came out of my throat.”

“So this is what you do when I’m gone huh?” He asks as he starts walking over to you. “Walk around naked and wet and what?? Do you air dry?” At this point his voice had dropped an octave or two and you could feel his eyes roaming over your body.

“No i d-don’t air dry…. Well that wasn’t my intention this time. I just left my towel out here.”

“Mmmm…” and he snakes his arms around your waist pulling you to him focusing his eyes on yours. “ I get home after a month and you dont even seem excited to see me.”

“Well maybe if you hadn’t tried to give me a heart attack…ouch asshole. Why the hell did you pinch my ass?”

“Be nice to me. I’m tired and jetlagged…. And now, because of you I’m hard” he of course takes this moment the press his groin up against you so you can feel how hard he actually is.

Your hands are resting on his biceps before the slide up and your hands sift into his hair.

“Well let me just dry off and I’ll help you with that” and you have the nerve to try and pull away from him.

“Why would you go dry off when I like you just like this hmm? Wet. And Naked.” And then he presses his firm lips against yours before sliding his hands down to cup both of your ass cheeks.

“Tell me you missed me brat. I’ve been here 5minutes and you haven’t said it.” He says with his lips pressed up against you ear and then he moves down and start placing sloppy kisses on your neck.

“Of, fuck, of course I missed you Katsuki. I sent you voice messages e-everyday telling you how much I missed you.” You whine.

“I don’t believe you.” And you jump before letting out a moan when this asshole slaps the hell out of one of your asscheeks. Then he slides his hand down and in between your puffy pussy lips.

When he pulls back to look at you there is a smirk playing on his lips. “Maybe you did miss me.”

“I told you.” You say as a pout forms on your lips.

“I can’t be sure though. I need you to prove it.”

“Prove it how Kat? I’m wet for you already. Is that not enough??”

Then his smirk turns into the most devilish smile you’ve ever see. “ i told you im exhausted from fighting villains, and you know making the world a safer place.”

“Get to the point you terrible man”

He chuckles at that. “Well that means I need you to be a big girl and do all the work this time. Need you to get my cock all wet with that filthy mouth of yours and then need you to ride me til I fill up my pretty little cunt ok?? Can you do that for me?”

All you can do is nod your head and drop to your knees.

This definitely not how he pictured his arrival home. It was so much better.

Katsuki Bakugo Masterlist

*id just like to say that this fic started with a whole different idea in mind and evolved into this and i never even got around to the original because it was getting too long😭

*also this isn’t proofread in the slightest so sorry🤭

Tags: @dreamcastgirl99 @xxvendettaxx @justbepeace @moonpieshawdy @theloveofnagiseishiroslife @mintsbubbletea @darkstarlight82 @anon-mouse223 @b134ch-m4h-ey3z @i-literally-cant-with-this @flowerbedbaby @kit-katsukii @blaize-hewwo @sweetblueworm @tippy-toes @superlegend216 @kxtsxkii @liliththeunqualifiedsimp @burgvndy @fluffismystaplefood @yoyolovesdaiki @zaiban2989 @zanarkandskylines

[paiges-1vur]

welcome to the party… as always enjoy loves <3 (pt. 2/4)

Friday 9:32 pm

It’s not long before the door opens up revealing a smiling girl. This must be Azzi, Rileys friend.

“Hi ry!” the girl says in a high pitched voice, “I haven’t seen you in so long we need to catch up.”

I see Riley smile and give her a quick hug before introducing me. I flash a quick nervous smile and tell her it was nice to finally meet her.

As we walk inside we meet 3 other girls. Then it hits me. Fuck. How could i be so stupid? I forgot Azzi was on the women’s basketball team. I walk in and try to suppress my anxiety as i face her 3 teammates.

Right as soon as i look to Riley for some stability, i notice her and Azzi have gone off somewhere else, probably to catch up.

The three girls are all occupied on their own, but one of them comes up to me as soon as she sees im uncomfortable.

“Hi your Ana, Rileys friend right! My names Nika and its really nice to meet you.” How could i be scared of this girl who sounded so sweet? I decided to pull myself together and try to have fun tonight.

“Yeah, im her roommate, and its really nice to meet you too!” I reply with a smile as she sips on her drink.

“And may i just say damn girl! you look so hot tonight!” Nika hypes me up and i do a little 360 giggling. As im spinning i see one of the other girls in the corner of my eye. The only girl i knew here. Paige Bueckers. “You know what lets do shots!” Nika is obviously feeling the same energy i am and i love it.

She calls the other girls over and quickly introduces me to kk who i love just as much as Nika. Paige stays quiet and Nika doesn’t say anything about her. She pours 4 shots and i say “Fuck it. Pour me 2” I hope I dont learn to regret this because being 5”1 and 120 pounds doesnt mix well with taking shots.

We all knock them back and i reach for my second one taking it down as quick as the first before making a quick face.

I look up to my right and see Paige looking down at me. Her eyes scan up and down my body as she bites her lip. I blush and look away, and in the corner of my eye i can see her smirking.

Azzi and Riley come back into the kitchen and let us know its time to head out to the bars. We all pack into Azzi’s car which has just enough room to fit us all. As soon as we pull out Azzi says “Shit. Guys is it okay if we pick up my friend real quick she just needs a ride to the bar thats all.” We all nod in understanding because we don’t mind.

As soon as her friend walks out of her building Azzi says “Okay theres not enough room so Ana since your the smallest your going to have to sit on Paiges lap. Is that okay?”

My mouth goes dry. i somehow manage a “Yeah thats fine.” As i move over to Paiges side of the car and sit on her lap. I immediately feel her staring at me. I turn my head to look at her, and her pupils are dilated and her eyes an icy blue. I feel her staring at my top again and this time i decide to be bold.

“You like what you see?” I whispered looking at her through my eyelashes and twirling my hair in my finger, biting my lip ever so slightly.

I can see her demeanor instantly change. She grins and comes down to my ear “I would like to see what you look like under it more.” I gulp and turn my head to the window trying to hide how wet that just made me.

I cant help from getting uncomfortable on Paiges lap in my mini skirt and have to keep moving my position on her lap. All of a sudden i feel two big hands on my hips. I look up at her as she licks her lips.

“Don’t start something you cant finish.” This immediately stops me from moving until the rest of the car ride, but Paiges hands linger on my hips for the rest of the ride.

————————

We all walk into the bar quickly flashing the bouncer our ids. Nika told me that tonight was going to be really fun especially because Paige knows the owner of the bar so we can do basically whatever we want.

We all sit down at a table and Im already feeling tipsy (but thats also coming from the girl who blacked out after 5 shots once..) “Who wants to get more shots!” I half scream at the girls smiling ear to ear.

They all laugh as Paige gets up and goes to the bar to order us two rounds. We are celebrating tonight. Once she got back we immediately downed the next two rounds and i decided i wanted to dance. I grabbed Nika by the hand laughing and dragged her to the dance floor.

She was surprisingly a good dancer and we danced with each other to the music that was blasting from the speakers. I started to grind on Nika as she hyped me up. I had my back faced to her as i moved up and down her body before turning around and putting my hands on her chest laughing because people had started to cheer us on.

I look over and see Paige staring at me moving on Nika, her hold so tight on her drink it could shatter at any moment. She stares me down in jealousy, and shit was it hot.

As the night went on I talked to all the girls and they were all super nice and i wanted to get to know them.

We started talking about basketball and when i asked who’s the best everyone turned to Paige. She bragged about how good she was for about 10 minutes.

She flexed and looked at me, “These don’t just come in overnight.” Everyone at the table laughed. My jaw dropped and the Paige looked over at me and winked. I mean i knew she was jacked. She had toned arms, smooth abs, and a killer back. NOT that i had ever looked that up on youtube.

I decide to distract myself from the growing need to touch Paige.

“GUYS!” I say ten volumes louder than i should have, “Guys lets lets play truth or dare right now i want to play now.” Everybody laughs and agrees as we sip our drinks.

The game is going well until its Paiges turn to ask me.

“Ana truth or dare.” She says flashing me her signature smirk. I try not to melt under her gaze. I know shes looking at my tits, but i don’t care. I want her to.

“Dare.” I say drunkenly, ready for whatever shes about to throw my way.

She laughs, “Lets do body shots.”

“W-what” I mumble, my brain suddenly slowing everything down.

“You heard me.” She gets up from the table and walks over to the bar. I look around at the other girls at the table and they all are smiling and trying to hide their laughs. Im just about to ask what the fuck i got myself into but then i hear something coming from the speakers.

“No fucking way.” I say. Azzi is trying to hide her laughing under a napkin. Pony by Ginuine starts blasting in the bar as i see Paige whisper something into the bartenders ear with a grin on her face. The girls at the table are absolutely losing it. Suddenly the bartender speaks into a microphone.

“Everyone we have a little something special for you all tonight. We have my good friend Paige and her new friend Ana are going to do body shots so lets give them all a warm welcome!”

People are whistling and cheering, eating up this little act.

“Come on up Ana!” The bartender looks over to my table and waves me over to the bar. I get up from my seat slowly walking to the bar, as Paige offers me her hand to get on top of it. I look at her with a “what the fuck.” look and she only laughs in response.

I lie down on the bar feeling very underdressed. As the music plays I decide to let go and let myself be happy. I can’t live life always worrying about the what ifs right?

I let myself feel free and the music blasting in my ears makes me anticipate whats going to happen. The bartender pours the shot and puts it down next to my head. She then pours the line of salt across my chest, which I’m sure was per Paiges request.

“Here you go hun.” The bartender hands me the lime to put in my mouth as she flashes me a wink. “Everybody lets hear it one more time for Paige!” The crowd erupts people clapping, screaming, and whistling. I see Nika holding her phone up recording this all, but to be honest, i don’t fucking care. Im too drunk to worry about the little things.

As im ready for Paige to initiate it i see her move. She climbs up on the bar and straddles my stomach, playing into this little act. Everyone is screaming clearly eating it up. i look up at her trying not to moan at just the sight of her on top of me. Fuck i need some sort of friction.

She leans down and grabs both of my wrists, and i let her take full control. She pins them above my head and smiles before scanning over my upper body one more time and whistling to the crowd.

I close my eyes before hearing Paige by my ear whisper “Open your eyes baby. I want you to see my face when i do this to you” I flutter my big brown eyes open staring at her in awe. “Good girl.” she says before returning to the act.

She leans down putting her free hand on my upper stomach as she licks the line of salt from my exposed chest. My back arches in response to her tongue and shit it feels so good. She then grabs the shot and downs it before coming down to my face and gabbing the lime from my mouth.

Still straddling me she sits up and tilts her head back with the lime in her mouth. The bar is packed full of students all screaming and cheering. The girls over at our table are still recording and cheering for Paige and I.

Im so drunk at this point that im stumbling back to the booth, and im fully leaning on Paige in the corner of the booth, sort of behind me. The girls whistle and Nika tells me how sexy that was. I giggle and lean back into Paige more, sitting in between her legs. The girls start to talk about something else, probably basketball before i feel a big cold hand sneak up my skirt on the inside of my thigh.

——————————

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

am i the asshole for yelling at my friend when i found out he had sex in my car?

i (26f) lived with my friend John (26m) when we were in college. John didnt have a car, but i did so i did most of the driving when we needed groceries/whatever we needed to go out for (it was a college town so it was mostly walkable, so we didnt need to drive every day). i have issues with other people using my car, especially when im not there (if anything goes wrong id rather it be my fault than have to deal with someone else totaling my car). but John had a girlfriend (Sarah) who also didnt have a car, so he would sometimes borrow my car (with my permission ofc, he never took it without me knowing) to take her on dates. when they were gone, i would constantly be nervous that something went wrong. there would be times they would go to a movie, then they would be gone for longer than the movie's runtime and i would get so anxious that something happened, then find out that they had just gone shopping/to dinner/etc after the movie ended. i never bothered saying anything because i didnt want to seem like a control freak saying "you can only borrow my car if you tell me exactly what you're doing and when you'll be back"

anyways, fast forward to now. i got a new car a couple years ago, John and i no longer live together (not because of any problems, we just got our own places after we graduated), and he is still with Sarah. one day John, Sarah, a few of our other friends, and i were all hanging out.

then at one point, Sarah made a joke about having sex in the car after Yesterday (the beatles movie from a few years ago). then i said "hold on, didnt you guys borrow my car to see that movie?" and everyone got really quiet. i turned to John and said "you had sex in my car???" and he tried to laugh it off but didnt deny it. and i got MAD. i was yelling at him and admittedly was pretty harsh (like calling him insensitive for violating my trust & property)

he said something along the lines of "i'm sorry, but it was a long time ago and theres nothing i can do to change it, and you dont even have the car anymore" and i realized he was right, and that screaming at him wasnt going to accomplish anything, but i was still mad so i left and went home

i asked some of my friends that were there if i was being crazy, and they basically said that it was understandable that i was mad, but yelling at him in front of everyone just made them uncomfortable and killed the vibe for the rest of the night, and there was nothing any of us could do about it now. no one told me how Sarah reacted, but she has really bad anxiety so knowing her, im guessing she didnt take it well that i got mad about something she said, and i do feel bad about that (though, in fairness, i assume she knows common decency and would know that having sex in someone else's car is wrong)

anyways, i dont think im the asshole because i think i have a right to be upset about that, and even though it was a long time ago i JUST found out about it so it wasnt that long ago for me. but i know i might be the asshole just because i yelled at John in front of our friends and made everyone uncomfortable over something that he can't do anything about anymore, and since i dont even have that car anymore, it has no impact on my life

tldr: my friend had sex in my car years ago and i found out about it and tried to fight with him about it in front of a bunch of our other friends, and it made everyone uncomfortable. so, am i the asshole for getting angry years after my friend had sex in my car? 🚗

What are these acronyms?

[lovexjoe]

In Love With A Stripper Part 2

warning: alcohol, mention of death and language

Armando pulls the car to the back, taking in her attire: he smiles on the inside. She looks beautiful like this, not that bullshit she’s forced to wear. He gets out and opens the door for her. Thanking him, she mentally gives out one more prayer that this man isn’t going to kill her and hops in.

She was shocked cause she could never imagine being in a car like this, it would take her a lifetime to even buy this. The ride was silent, as she looks out the window taking in the scenery of Mexicos city lights. She’s been here on this side of town before with Andres, but she just couldn’t remember exactly. His right hand reaches for hers, she could have sworn her heart skipped a beat. His hand much larger than hers, engulfed her small one with warmth. She intertwine their fingers together and he rubs her hand with his thumb.

She’s really in the car with a drug dealer who could potentially make her disappear off the face of the earth. Yet she felt the most safest in his presence. The car pulls into a gated mansion, he spoke to the gate to confirm his ID and they headed inside.

“Do you trust me?” He looks over at her and she looks back not saying a word. Just looking at him with those doe eyes. She gives his hand a squeeze confirm that she’s okay but he knew he wouldn’t get an answer so easily. He hands his key off to a guard, opening her door for her and leading the way up the stairs. This is where he lives?! Why not just stop drug dealing and retire? He is set for fucking life. This could have potentially been her life with Andres if he was connected with the right people. She pushes the thought away cause it’ll only sour the mood.

They entered his bedroom and it was exactly the way she thought it was gonna be. Crispy clean and all black. There wasn’t a single spect of color in this room: dark and depressing. They sit outside on his balcony enjoying the city lights as they pour up a drink. He breaks the silence first.

“What’s your name?”

“You know my name…..Luna.” She takes a sip of her drink. The mixture of rum and coke easing her nerves.

“Nah that’s not you mami. The real you.” He turns his body to her, giving her all his attention. Her eyes could easily captivate someone yet here she was feeling hot and shy under his gaze.

“Xiomara…” she sips her drink again, numbing her nerves.

“Es bonita, mami” he says giving her a smile, first one of the night and it took all her suspicions away.

“He smiles! So you’re not gonna kill me, thank god!” She puts her hand on her heart and lets out a joking breath. For the first time in a long time he lets out an honest laugh. He’s never brought anyone back home, he’s always had his fun outside and returned to his empty room. But her, for some reason he wants to do things to her but he wanted more. But he can’t want more. This was for one night he reminded himself.

“Tell me about yourself” She takes in his question, wondering if she should be an open book or pick out things that were true and fill the rest in with white lies. She probably wasn’t going to see him ever again so why not?

“I came here two years ago with my boyfriend, he was a drug dealer. I didn’t know much but he had food on the table and we were gonna build a life here. He got killed during a deal gone bad and I-I had to verify the body at the scene because his mom couldn’t go….” She takes another sip. The alcohol causing her mouth to vent all the feelings she’s been holding in for a year now.

“A month after Andres passing I found out I was pregnant. It would have probably been smarter to just not continue with the pregnancy but he’s the last thing I have letting me know that Andres was real. Things have been hard so I strip to save pay the bills and my day job helps me save” Armando’s jaw clenched at the mention of her late boyfriend’s name.

“I’m sorry that you’re going through this.”

“Don’t do that….dont pity me. It sucks but there’s someone out there having it much worse than me.” He nods his head raising his glass to cheers to that.

“Tell me about you….or whatever you’re comfortable with.”

Just one night right? He wasn’t going to see her again and it’s not like anyone would believe her anyway.

“My mom’s in prison right now. She gave birth to me in prison, I was raised there till I was 6 and then they sent me off with someone to the cartel. Here I am….” He sighs and gulps the rest of his drink.

“See? I told you somebody else has it worse than me. Thank you for that.” Laughter filled the room, she notices the crinkle in his eyes when he smiles. He looked much younger when he let some happiness enter his empty heart.

“Armando? Why am I here? If you wanted to have sex…we cou-“

She stops talking when he stands up pulling her close, his hand caressing her cheek. She doesn’t know what he wants. He knows what he wants but he’s not going to admit because it’s insane. They just met.

“I can tell that this isn’t something you do. And after hearing what you been through…I want you but I’m not touching you until you beg me to….” The way he’s looking at her like he wants to devour her, she so badly wants to give in. He picks her up and carries her to his bed. She sits at the edge of his bed while he picks out some clothes for her.

Yes Armando Aretas a fucking cartel is picking out clothes for a stripper he’s beyond fond of. Boy would his mom be having a fit if she could see this. She changes in the bathroom, looking at herself in the mirror and smiling. He’s definitely not what she thought he would be. She leans her head down to the black shirt, taking in his divine scent. Once she reenters the room, Tom and Jerry reruns were on the tv and he looked too cute under the covers.

Shirtless…..

How was she going to control herself? She had to or else she would look to easy. She can’t and she won’t!

She got in bed, keeping a certain distance between them. His hand trailing across her exposed skin on her inner thigh. She looked better in his clothing than he did.

“I don’t bite mami, come here” he pulls her close, his hand slipping under the shirt and resting on her stomach. He places a kiss on her temple as they both watched the tv till they fell asleep.

~~~~~~~

The sun creeps through his window, causing Xio to walk up in bed alone. The tv still running some outdated cartoons. Her bedside had roses and a letter.

“I had some business to take care of. There’s a driver and duffel bag waiting for you. I will see you soon - Love Armando”

She heads into the restroom and where she had a brand new toothbrush and a toiletry bag filled with products: expensive ones too waiting for her. This man really had everything accessible for him. She started to wonder how many girls he did this for. Looking at her phone, she realizes she doesn’t have time to wait around as she needs to grab Ricky from his grandma’s. She hurries up changing into her clothes from last night and heading downstairs. Did she keep his shirt? Yup, something to remember him in case she doesn’t hear from him again.

The driver hands her the small duffel bag and she gets into the car and giving him directions to her house. Reminiscing about the little commentary they had while watching looney tunes. How it felt being held by him all night. This was it for them. She doesn’t think he’ll reach out. He knows where she works but….maybe she’s just overthinking.

Andres’ mom sent her a message letting her know that she will stay with Ricky today if she wanted some time to herself. She sighs with relief, she could use a few hours to rejuvenate since she’s teaching again tomorrow. As the driver drops her off, she strolls inside and setting the bag down. She took a look inside and

Wow….she had enough money to stop stripping for a while….

The bag had a small pocket on the side so she decided to open it and what she noticed wasn’t something she was happy about.

She lets out a cry….

She pulls out Andres cross necklace …..

Taglist: @yeahnohoneybye @cardi-bre91 @onlysarang @romanreignsluver1 @minwn

@armandosbabymama @dyttomori @bbyplutosblog @vergilnelosparda @believeinthefireflies95 @cardi-bre91

[blegh-110]

I get the worst cramps, and I think if Y/n got horrible cramps too, Flightless!Tan would be the BEST at taking care of her

not me on my period right now and having cramps as well :((( this will be totally self-indulgent btw

so reader knows when she gonna get her period in a number of ways. one, when she starts breaking out. and she is totally freaking out because she is getting that anxious feeling in her stomach from when her parents would notice this break out and comment on it not very nicely. shes afraid that tangerine will see the red spots and pimples on her face and not think of her as his "pretty girl" anymore :((( and because of this, she starts hiding away from him and trying to stay away from him until it starts to go away. so that means longer showers, sleeping in and staying in bed longer, resisting sitting in his lap and receiving cheek kisses. which does not end up going well because shes soon missing his touch.

second, when her boobs start getting sore and achy :((( she just lounges around the house in pain and all pouty, knowing whats coming in a day or two.

three, when she starts craving a bunch of food and eating whatever. and she always feels like crap after.

at first, tangerine just thinks shes gone a little back into her shell and his simply trying to distance herself because she feels like it. but one morning when he tries getting her out of bed after letting her sleep in for a little too long, he gently tries pulling the blanket of her body but stop when she starts whining and eyes start filling with tears.

"cmon, we dont wanna waste the day again, do we?" tangerine tries pulling at the blanket again but fully stops and drops his hands when she starts crying and tugging at the comforter like its her lifeline. at this, tangerine sits on her bed with a concerned look on his face.

"you have to tell me whats wrong. v' let you sleep in for more than two hours now. are you feeling sick?" tangerine tilts his head to the side to get a better look at her, gently wiping away her tears. he feels relieved when you shake your head.

"then what is it? just tell me and ill do everything i can to fix it."

at his words and calm, low voice. she leans herself into him, hiding her face in his neck to spare her the embarrassment she feels. she closes her eyes when she feels his arms wrap around her, itd been a few days since she felt it.

"got m'period." she whispers so quietly it takes tangerine a second to figure out what she says, it doesn't help that her face is shoved into the crook of his neck.

"well thats okay." he says, but is actually panicking because he hasnt gotten any feminine products for her. he mentally kicks himself for not thinking of this.

"got your sheets all dirty and gross."

"well we do have this thing called a washer and dryer, my love. it kind of cleans what needs to be cleaned," tangerine teases while rubbing comforting circles on her back, "your sheets will be just fine."

after a while, he is finally able to pull you out of bed.

"now, you go do your little morning routine, and im gonna head to the store and get you some stuff, got it?" you nod your head as he walks you to the bathroom, knowing that the first thing you like to do when you get out of bed is brush your teeth.

"okay, now is there a specific brand you prefer?"

you tell him quietly, feeling awkward because you had never had to tell someone this before. but a part of you is relieved that tangerine is not disgusted with you, but instead determined to get through this with you.

"alright, anything else you would like?"

"id like some chocolate, if its okay with you." you stare down at your feet, finding your painted toes very interesting all of a sudden.

"that more than okay with me, what else?"

tangerine writes down all the others stuff you want, and with that, he is out the door and in his car. ready to take away your pain and discomfort.

[first-edition]

Fox and the Hound

Sum-Joffrey wants to send a message to your family after your brother embarrasses him, so he marries you off to his most unwanted man in his court, the hound. But will this marriage truly be a statement for an eyesore, or will it grow into something more. 

Cw for chapter- pregnancy, 18+ words and themes overall. Angst, death of husband, not prof read apologies for any errors, mention of sexual assault.

// A/N: just wanted to apologize for the broken links at the beginning of the book since i changed my username they haven’t been working but i assure you I’ll get to fixing them. I will also end up making a goggle docs with the entire book for downloading when this series ends//

previous chapter here

Chapter 19

Somewhere along the coast line the temperature became more fridged than it could’ve ever needed to be. You’d packed a few warm items but layered up heavily none the less. The boat at port long ago and the carragie and horsemen’s ride to castle black was nothing short of ‘fucking freezing’ as joss had put it. 

You arrived safe however. The gate immedetly opened at the hint of your arrival and despite the men being rapers, murdering, thieves and criminals they welcomed you with bows. 

“Welcome your highness your presence here blesses us all.” John speaks as he walks up to you before bowing. 

“You don’t need to do that.” You say helping him stand again. He chuckles nervously. 

“I want to thank you. For letting me stay here i recon with the long days I’ve been over seas the plague in volantis and the other corners has long since gone.” You say 

“you can never be too carful.” He says smiling you smile back to him before opening your arms he pulls you in for a hug but pulls away for a brief moment only to look down a bit where your stomach is hidden under your large cloak. 

“Are you…” he trails off you nod. 

“Wasn’t by any ill hand if you're insinuating. ‘Twas my husbands doing.” You say he frowns with hint of a smile and confusion. 

“We have much to discuss.” You say he chuckles and nods. 

“Apparently.” He laughs. 

“Y/n!” You hear a voice as John move out of your way Sansa hurriedly walks to you before hugging you but once again pulling back realizing your stomach. 

“Sandor.” You say she smiles and hugs you again. 

“Ive missed you so much” she says not letting go. As if you were. 

“Me too.” You say taking a few more seconds to hug your best friend before pulling away. 

“You found your way here after the fight in kingslanding?” You ask. 

“Yes but not on my own i have news to share with you much news.” She says you smile and nod. 

“Oh. This this my head lady in waiting Lucy, this is Sarah, and Meleesa. This is my squire joss stilwood” you introduce they Curtis and bow as followed. 

“Lets get you out of the cold first and ill show you your quarters and then i can share with you the much needed to speak about news.” Sansa says. You smile to her as she takes your hand leading you. 

———

“queen of the north..why arnt you in winterfell then if youre queen. Why isn’t john?” You ask 

“we have people holding down the fort. And im much more rather be stationed here at castle black more to do, however we will be going back there in the next month before the winter gets rough and id like you to come with, better rooms less men crawling about.” She says giggling at the last bit you laugh as well. 

“you dont look the same.” You say Turing to her. 

“Neither do you.” She replies. 

“What? Is it my large belly?” You joke she chuckles and shakes her head. 

“N-no..you…you seem sadder.” She says. 

“As do you..what happened after black water Sansa?…” you ask quietly. She takes a seat on the bed next to you before taking a breath. 

“Jeoffry was bethrothed to someone else the lady Margery Tyrell of house highgarden-“ she begins 

“lady olenas granddaughter?” You ask she nods 

“Tyrion and i married.” She begins again 

“you married Tyrion Lannister?!” You ask shocked as ever. 

“I still needed to marry a Lannister per my fathers death note. He was kind, didn’t touch me kept me pure. At Joffrey's wedding he was poisoned and killed. Lord belish grabbed me and ran with me away from the gruesome sight i was put into a boat and we left for the vale to my aunt Lysa…but…only a few days there and- well we left eventually and he..he sold me to Ramsey Bolton. He wasn’t so kind in the marragie. He raped me abused me. But he got his dues.” She says 

“hes dead?” You ask. sansa nods a bit to proudly. 

“How?…” 

“hounds.” She says as he is well known for his love of using dogs to tear apart his vitcims. 

”then i ended up here little finger is with me but i hope not for long, john barley trusts him and good measure too anyone who trusts littlefinger is fool.” She says.

”i heard about the battle outside of the Bolton fields. Im glad you won.” You say. She dodges the scentece and asks you about yourself. 

“What of you? Your pregnant and showing for the gods sake. I rembering sitting on your bed you covered in bruises from him and now you carry his child.” she says 

“alright first of all it wasn’t like that you and i both know that Sandor didn’t bruise me for power it was an accident you’ve seen him, hes a lot larger than most assume.” You say. 

“In all honesty are you sure hes not part giant or something how can a man be that large and not be.” She jokes leaving you two to share another laugh before you continue on. 

“After black water Sandor joss and i were heading to volantis, home, but we got separated in princes pass by a theivery ambush he sent joss and i with the horse away while he fought the others off. We were supposed to meet at sunspear but the horse had an accident so we had to sale off at salt shore. We arrived in volants not long after porting and stayed for a while before the sickness hit. my father died from it and the last i saw of my mother she had it.” You say. 

“Then…what of volantis?” She asks. 

“Im next in line since my brother is gone and sandor is to reign with me but, if my mother passes on as well i do not want to sit on a throne the rest of my life and bark orders at people. I dont want to be queen and i can reassure you sandor does not want to be king.” You reply. 

“What of sandor any news from him?” She wonders. 

“…no…out paths haven’t crossed, hes not arrived in volantis and i fear the worst for him. I cannot be certain of his demise as theres not raven sent or sign but…” you trail off as she take you hand. 

“You’ll see him again. I know you love him and that’s enough to hold to. Dont you think?” She says you nod. She smiles. You nod giving her a quick hug before she speaks again and hops up. 

“Come on! There’s someone i want you meet another lady. A lady knight.” She says you raise you eyebrows confused. 

“Can ladies be a knight?” You ask. 

“She is! Come on.” She exclaims. You get up pulling you cloak on and following her out of the room and through the halls.

———

“lady Brienne!?” Santa calls to her as she pushes the sparing mate into the pile of snow before turning to face Sansa. 

”lady Sansa.” Brienne says bowing slightly. You admire her features strong yet still faire shes very tall and could almost apose sandor. She wears armor with a cloak to keep her a bit warm. 

“This is princess y/n of volantis, house vixen, married to house clegane by friend. We met in kingslanding when both had a debt to pay from our parents. Y/n this is Brienne of Tarth.” Sansa introduces you. Brienne gets down on her knees and lowers her head as soon as the word princess and volantis are uttered. 

“Your highness its an honor” Brianne says. 

“Oh no please..” you say asking you up she obeys and takes her stand. 

“She will be living with us till the foreseeable furture.” Sansa continues. 

“Pleasure to have you along.” Brienne speaks. 

“Lady Brienne this is my squire joss stilwood. If you should need anything of battle value joss may provide.” You reply to her. 

“My lady.” Joss says bowing a bit. 

“This is my um..squire podrick.” She answers. 

“Your highness.” Podrick says 

“weren’t you tyrion lannister's squire?” You ask him. 

“Yes your highness i was. He relieved me and i offered my useage to lady Brienne.” He replies to you. 

“Hmm you and joss should have much to talk about two squires from kings landing with royal practice.. should be fun.” You say a smile on your face. 

“If you dont mind my ask who did you squire for before?” Brianne asks joss. 

“Ser Gregor clegane then his brother sandor clegane during the battle of black water.” He says to her. 

“Y-your highness you said you married into the house clegane?” Brianne asks you. 

“Yes. You ask this why?” You ask. 

“F-forgive me but erm.. your husband, He was large dented metal armor, ugly, scruffy… he had his face scarred on the left.” She says. You nod. 

“Ser sandor clegane..” podrick says in a ‘oh shit’ sort of way 

“Why?” You ask a slight winge in your voice. 

“Your highness. While It was means to get lady Sansa’s sister back to her safety, we fought, hard, I was scared I wasn’t going to win, but I’d hit him with a rock and kicked him off the cliff…..I….I didn’t see him move at the bottom.” 

“What..” you voice strained as tears threaten your eyes.

“I-im sorry…you um…are you sure he was dead?” Sansa asks briskly. A lump forms in your throat  as she asks you wait for the impending answer. 

“Yes…i-“ before she can finish her apology you shortly gather your dress ends up with a whimper and hurry away from the others tears running down your cheeks as you run outside the gates as they open for other coming into the fort your hand clutching your stomach as you fall your knees sobbing into the snow.

“Y/n..y/n” Sansa says hurrying twords you kneeling to you pulling you into a hug as you sob in her arms.

“Shh-sh” she shushes as you sob in her arms. The pure thought of the love of your life your husband who’s reunion you’d been keeping up hope for was dead. All you had of him now was his child. He will never get to see his son or daughter. He will never get to see you.

Next chapter here

TAGLIST. If you’d like to be added to the tag list please leave a comment down below.

Taglist @stephyshadows@germansarechill@urfavbiscuit@daphneyblue@takemeaemond@holb32@allison-119@pxstelink@imsolonelyimissyou@myshitaccount@broadsdrinkwhisky@@evie-beanie@eulysa23-2@greeknymph18@rudiruds@ex160-blog1@im-an-assho1e@chompwoman@heartb8k2@lovely--lover ex160-blog1 @midnightprocrastinator @haus-of-a-thousand-fandoms @friendlyspacemartian

[duffs-balls]

The Dilfest 2

SECOND PART OF THE DILFEST YALL

heres the first one

read that first bro or dont idc

TELL ME ID THERES ANY GRAMMAR OR SPELLING MISTAKES PLSSS TELL ME PLS IM BEGGING

WARNINGSSS🙏😱

sex🔥 fingering, dom duff, spanking, teasing, dirty talk (kinda), marking (kinda), pills (painkillers not drugs), hot sexy men (passing out and going mental warning, dont look at the pictures below if u have any heart issues /j)

HOW IS HE SO HOT I NEED HIM TO TIE ME UP

The soft thud of the car door shutting lightly woke me up, but not enough for me to open my eyes or register what is happening.

He softly opens my door and undoes my seatbelt, before grabbing me right under my armpits and lifting me up into his arms. I instinctively wrap my limbs around him. I cling onto him like a koala, burying my face in the crook of his neck as I just keep on sleeping. He closes the door and locks his car before wrapping his arm around me securely.

He grabs the key and unlocks the door, before stepping into his home.

He doesn’t mind carrying me at all. He likes being so close to me and being able to take care of me like this.

He flicks on the lights and locks the door behind him, before making his way upstairs to his bedroom.

He lays me down on the bed, kissing my forehead before taking off my shoes and tossing them onto the floor. He takes off his own shoes and changes into sweatpants and a plain shirt before crawling into the bed.

-

Sunrays shine through the curtains and onto our entwined bodies. I frown and blink my eyes open. I let out a yell as I feel someone else pressed up to me. I push the person off me and stand up, staring at them in horror. I relax slightly as I see it’s Duff, but before I can do anything, a pounding headache hits me.

It feels like theres a hundred Oompa Loompas banging three big metal tubes on my head. Jesus Christ. I groan and clutch at my head, squeezing my eyes shut.

“Hey, hey, hey. Cmere.” His soft, soothing voice fills my ears, relieving some of the pain. He immediately reaches out and grabs my hand, pulling me back into bed.

I snuggle up to him, nestling my face in his neck as I grip onto his shirt. Snuggling up to him at least made me feel a little better. His arms wrap around me protectively, rubbing my back in an attempt to soothe my aches. “Shh, baby.” He murmurs, kissing the top of my head. “You want me to get you some painkillers?” I nod, groaning softly.

He lays me down on my back on his bed, pulling the sheets over me. He presses a lingering kiss to my forehead before he lets go of me, hurrying over to the bathroom, which was connected to his bedroom.

I keep my eyes shut tightly, curling up into a ball as I realise how much warmth and comfort having Duff next to me gave me. And now, that was all gone.

I can faintly hear him rummaging through the cabinets and turning on the faucet.

A few moments later, he walks back into the room and crawls into the bed. He places the medicine and a glass of water on the nightstand, before helping me sit up.

I climb into his lap, not caring if I was being all clingy even when we hadn’t known each other for long. I couldn’t give a shit, I’m feeling horrible and he makes me feel much better, so I’m gonna get as close to him as possible. Period.

“Here.” He says softly as he hands me the pills and the glass of water, he chuckles lightly as I cling to him. I drink the whole glass, not opening my eyes since I knew the bright light would be way too much.

I hand the glass back to him and wrap my arms around him, seeking comfort in him. He hums softly, pressing a kiss to the side of my head. “There you go.” He murmurs.

I try to get even closer to him, pressing my body against his and shifting around to make myself as small as possible. He chuckles at my attempts, his arms tightening around me.

I squirm around for a few moments before letting out a frustrated groan, my jeans becoming annoyingly uncomfortable. I roll onto my back and quickly take them off, my eyebrows furrowed.

I move back into Duff’s lap. He chuckles but doesn’t say anything, just holding me again when I move back onto him. “Better?” He whispers. I smile and nod.

We stay like that, cuddled up in bed. Eventually I’d fallen asleep. He’d whisper sweet nothings into my ear every now and then, or caress my body, which I’d do to him too. We’d sometimes change positions. It felt so good to be cuddling with him; he made me feel so safe, and I made him feel safe. It was not awkward or weird at all, it felt right and comfortable.

After hours of cuddling and slumbering, falling in and out of sleep, I speak up. “You hungry?” My voice is soft and slightly groggy, although my grogginess is nothing compared to his. His voice sounds like a deep rumble from a motorcycle, even more than it normally does. “Yeah. We can make breakfast if you want.”

His voice is so sexy. I feel butterflies in my stomach, and heat pools between my legs. I brush it off for some reason and nod with a smile.

We both get out of bed and grab each other’s hand as he leads me downstairs. I look down at our entwined hands, feeling even more butterflies in my belly. My eyes travel up before locking onto his back. He’s so broad, like a Doritos chip. Then I look at his arms. His tattoos are so beautiful, and his biceps are huge.

I speed up and start walking next to him. He smiles down at me as I get closer to him, before opening the door to the living room and kitchen. We don’t say anything, and that’s okay. I don’t like to talk much in the morning, anyway.

We walk into the kitchen and I jump up onto the counter, watching him as he opens the fridge in search for something to eat for breakfast.

I suddenly feel an urge, an itch for him. I grab his arm and pull him between my legs, wrapping them around him and trapping him inside them. We both lean in, no words needing to be said as we both knew what we wanted.

He brushes his lips over mine gently, before deepening the kiss. His strong arms slip around my waist, pulling me closer against him. I tangle my hands in his wavy, blond hair, deepening the kiss even more by pulling on the strands.

I can feel myself getting wetter and wetter, even though we’re just kissing. That doesn’t last too long. His big, strong, possessive hands wander down to my ass, squeezing and groping. I moan into his mouth, feeling his cock growing harder against my cunt through our clothes.

I can’t help but grind against his dick, moving my legs up higher to wrap around his waist. He groans into the kiss, his hands gripping my ass tighter. His lips become demanding and hungry, his tongue slipping inside to explore my mouth. My heart is racing in my chest, my breath coming in short, almost gasp-like breaths. He suddenly lifts me off the counter and slams me against the now closed fridge, making me gasp. I didn’t know he had this rough side to him, although I could’ve figured. One of his hands moves to squeeze my tit. I moan, arching my back into his touch. He keeps me pressed against the fridge, holding me up as my legs are still wrapped around him. His hand moves down to tease at the waistband of my panties, a smirk appearing on his face as he hears my needy whine. “So eager.” “Please..” It’s never to early to beg. He grins devilishly and slips his hand inside, rubbing at my clit in circles with his middle finger before sliding his fingers along my wet folds. I moan, my fingers tightening in his hair. He plays around with my pussy for a few moments, before finally slipping one finger inside. He starts to move in and out slowly, his other hand still groping at my breast. His thumb rubs lazy circles around my clit, making me let out moan after moan. I’d never felt so good, and this was only the beginning. He starts to trail kisses down my jaw, and then my neck. He sucks and nibbles, staying on the same spot for a bit to create a mark before moving down further. He lifts my shirt up and kisses the part of my breasts that aren’t covered by my bra. With one hand still working on my pussy, he can’t take it off. He grunts in frustration, suddenly thrusting his finger deeper inside me than before. “Take it off.” He growls. I immediately let go of his hair and take off my shirt, tossing it onto the floor before unclasping my bra and letting it fall to the floor too. He growls and takes my nipple into his mouth the second it’s exposed, sucking and tonguing it. I let out high-pitched, whine-y moans, my hands moving to tug on his hair again. He adds another finger into my wet hole, curling them to find my sweet spot. He abuses that spot relentlessly, making my back arch and my thighs shake. “Duff!” I moan, my hips bucking against his hand eagerly. My moans turn into gasps, my eyes rolling back as I feel myself getting closer and closer to my orgasm. His movements become faster and more intense, hitting my sweet spots in all the right ways. I can’t even manage to warn him as I cum all over his fingers. I cry out his name, my hands clawing at his back. I arch my back off the fridge, my hips grinding against him uncontrollably. I pant as I catch my breath, my head tilted back to rest against the fridge. He smirks and slowly pulls his sticky fingers out of me, grabbing my jaw with his other hand and forcing me to look at him. “Open.” He orders, tilting his head back slightly. I look at him with hazy, satisfied but lustful eyes. I part my lips, my eyes falling closed as he sticks his fingers inside my mouth. “Good girl.. Lick ‘em clean.” He breathes out, his eyes fixated on my lips and expression. I eagerly lick and suck on his fingers, slightly cringing at the taste of myself but liking the feeling of his fingers in my mouth and him controlling me too much to care.

“That’s a good girl.” He growls and pulls his fingers out, suddenly putting me down on the floor. My legs feel like jelly, shaking and making me stumble. He leans down to whisper in my ear, his hands resting on my hips possessively. “Bend over the counter.” He growls. My breath hitches and I obey, turning to the kitchen island and bending over it. My breathing is heavy and deep, my heartbeat racing in anticipation. He moves behind me, his hand reaching out to run along my sensitive pussy. He suddenly smacks my ass, and I can’t help the moan that escapes my lips. I can hear him cursing under his breath, feeling his gaze burning into my ass. I spread my legs further and stick my ass out, hiding my face in the crook of my arm. He smacks my ass once again, before pressing himself against me, his big hands gripping my hips to pull me back against him. He bends down, pressing open-mouthed kissed along my shoulders and neck. “You want this?” He whispers in his low, sultry voice. I nod frantically, my arm reaching behind my head and wrapping around his neck, while my other hand rests on the counter and supports my body weight. “Say it.” “Yes.. Please, Duff..” I whimper, feeling his hard cock poking into my ass through his sweatpants. “Please, what?” I groan, growing frustrated as he keeps me waiting for way longer than I wanted. “Please fuck me!” He smirks and sinks his teeth down into my skin, right where my shoulder meets my neck. He pushes down his pants and boxers, his dick jumping free and pressing against my ass. He moves his hand between my thighs and spreads them apart, before grabbing my hips and forcefully tilting them back. He suddenly slams into me without warning, making me cry out. He grunts at the feeling of my tight, hot cunt stretching around him. He starts moving in and out, slowly at first, but he quickly speeds up. The sound of his hips smacking against my ass, the wet squelching of my pussy and our moans, grunts and gasps fill the room, which fade into the background as he fucks me into oblivion. His hips move fast and hard, his cock hitting spots inside me I never thought to be possible. He holds onto my hips and pulls me back onto his dick with each relentless thrust. “Fuck, baby. So tight. Such a good girl for me, taking my cock like this. Fuck, yeah.” He murmurs breathlessly between hot kisses all across my shoulders and back. I moan his name uncontrollably, bucking my hips to meet his thrusts. “Gonna come inside your pretty little cunt. Come with me, babe..” He lets out a shuddering growl as he slams into me harder and harder, exploding inside me. I cry out in ecstasy as he fucks me over the edge, coating his cock in my come. He pants as he slows down, his forehead falling against my shoulder. His hair sprawls across my sweaty back, his breath fanning over my skin with each pant. After a few moments, he pulls out, our combined juices dripping down my thighs and his cock. He flips me around to face him, leaning in to kiss me messily. His big hand tangles in my hair, pulling me closer. I wrap my arms around his neck, rubbing my heel up and down the back of his legs. I pull back and bury my face in his neck with a breathless chuckle. “Jesus Christ.” I murmur. He laughs softly, his arm sliding around my waist. “Let’s take a shower.” He murmurs into my hair. I make a small sound of approval, kissing his neck. Right when I’m about to pull away so I can walk to the bathroom, he picks me up. I yelp and laugh, burying my grinning face back into the crook of his neck. He carries me bridal style, a big, charming grin on his face. I giggle and look up at him, leaning in to place some kisses on his neck and jaw.

PH MY GOD IM GONAN FUCKING KILL MUSELD YHIS SHIT IS PISSING ME OFF I HAD SM ISSUES TRUING TO DUPLICATE THE TEXT CAUSE I WAS GONNA MAKE A MALE VERSION BIT I SLreaDY STOPPED OKAY NO IMNNOT EVEN EXPLIANINF THIS IM SORRY THE KAST PARTS ARE ALL STICKED TOGETHER AND THE FIRST ONE IDNT BUT IM TOO POSSED OFF TO FIC IT SORRY GUYS

anyway here u go uhh i dont have much to say tbh i dont think ill write a third part but we’ll see

i probably will be writing more other duff fics though

IM WORKINF ON A BUGGER ONE RN ALSO ABT DUFF BUT I WANN AHAVE IT COMPLETELY FINISHED BEFORE I POST IT SO THAYLL TAKE A WHILEEEE LIKE MONTHS OR SMTH SO IDK

[neptunezines]

you exist to me even when youre not here

i wrote this about one of my friends who has had a couple mental health scares while living states away from me. your friends care about you and worry about you !! <3

image IDs are sorted from top to bottom and left to right, five images (sorry for length):

image 1: A single sheet folded zine. The cover of the zine. It reads "you exist to me even when you're not here". there is a drawing of a sad looking frog and a phone with multiple unanswered texts.

image 2: The first and second pages of the zine. Page one reads "the people you grow up with will eventually move away, or you will. it's just a fact of life. and we have to get used to our friends moving states away with seemingly no warning, or we have to leave our friends behind" The top of the page has drawings of luggage and the bottom has a crying frog being left behind by a car. Page two continues, "but we adapt, learn to live without our best friend and move on in life, and we start to think that maybe they had forgotten about us by now. because who could ever remember us, our old friend is hanging out with people they like more than they ever did us, and are too busy being happy that we are too busy being happy that we are gone to spare a single second missing us. we probably dont even exist to them." Drawings of stick figures cross the page, and one of them has a thought bubble with a crossed out frog in it.

image 3: The second and third pages of the zine. The text spans across both pages, and says "well, you're wrong! we think about you all the time. we wonder... are you okay? ...are you safe? ...are you alive?" Most of the spread is covered in questions about the friend's life and wellbeing in small text.

image 4: The fourth and fifth pages of the zine. Page four says "you might not be near us anymore, but that doesnt mean that we forgot about you! don't ever start thinking that you can let yourself fall apart, because we will always be here for you and we are always worried about your wellbeing. nothing will ever prepare you for a long distance friendship, but miles of land and water will never make us like you any less!" There is a smiling frog in the middle of the page with a thought bubble that says "you". hearts fill the bubble and surround the frog. Page five says "you exist to me even when you're not here" in large font.

image 5: The backpage of the zine. There is a drawing of a frog's face, and underneath it says "hi, my name is max! want to see more? instagram and tumblr: neptunezines April 8th, 2023"

[desire-mona]

dps boys (and keating's) favourite songs (aka me projecting because i love music) (also modern au because you cannot limit me to music before 1960 you just cant)

i made a playlist of all these songs in case you wanna give em a listen, you can find it here. if you totally disagree with me or wanna add more then absolutely let me know!

neil: talia - ride the cyclone (the musical)

yes i KNOW it's obvious to choose a song from a musical BUT. ride the cyclone is special, i think he'd really like the lack of an ensemble and enjoy the dark premise despite the comedic nature of a vast majority of the show. also i totally think his favourite performance would be by gus halper bc of the use of the projector. mischa or noel is definitely a dream role of his.

todd: vincent - james blake ('s cover, og by don mclean)

don mcleans lyricism is like catnip to poets and it has gone unacknowledged for far too long. a lyrically gorgeous, vaguely queer sounding song about a tortured artist, covered by someone with an ANGELIC voice. can you name anything more todd? not to mention the piano is so far beyond moving, nothing short of a masterpiece.

charlie: dear prudence - siouxsie and the banshees (again - a cover, og by the beatles)

firm believer that charlie was an avid beatles hater for a WHILE until eleanor rigby grew on him, much to his dismay. is now a casual beatles enjoyer, only due to the fact that their vocals annoy him. so a cover by siouxsie sioux (whom he most definitely has a crush on) is basically a blessing in disguise. loves the instrumentals, loves the vocals, loves all of it. insists that its better than the original and will ultimately die (correct) on that hill.

meeks: love on the line (call now) - her's

as much as i love and adore meeks, i have been loyal to my headcanon that he is an annoying music snob since day one. of course, this culminates in his favourite song being by THE indie pop/rock band that pretentious people love to bring up the death of. he is no exception, any time the band is mentioned he will without fail go "did you know that they died in a car crash?" either way, id be lying if i said this was a bad pick. the upbeat vibe mixed with the actual meaning of the song being about a guy wasting all his money on a sex hotline? it makes the whole song so fun, and thats right up his alley! super danceable too, which plays a huge part.

pitts: bad fruit - jean dawson

will mona ever shut up about jean dawson? signs point to no. anywho, if you've followed along with my pittsie musings then you KNOW that i consider pitts to be the most well versed music guy to ever step on welton academy campus. realistically, im sure his favourite song changes on a day to day basis, but he always comes back to this. jean dawson makes art that ive seen few do similarly, everything he brings to the table i find so incredibly unique and well crafted. definitely pitts' biggest music crush.

cameron: '39 - queen

absolutely, 100%, without a doubt, an extremely guilty pleasure. i take his parents as the type to ban queen in their household (for reasons that im sure youre able to pick up on) but i ALSO take cameron as a sucker for classic rock, match made in hell. of course, since brian may does the vocals on this song instead of freddie, he can listen on the dl and be fine. also, the concept of time travel in music is SO!!! INTERESTING!! would absolutely go on a 10 minute long tangent about the story and meaning of the song, which only mittsie would actually listen to.

knox: lavender buds - MF DOOM

fine, FINE. i'll give knox a proper headcanon, but i wont be happy about it. i think i would listen to MF DOOM a lot more if i was a former bully, but thats not actually based off anything so dont take that as an insult, avid listeners. honestly i dont really have an in depth explanation for this one, just look at the lyrics and youll understand.

(this repeats 3 times)

i also take him to be a big r&b/ blues enjoyer, also based off nothing at all, so the sample probably appeals to some sense of nostalgia.

keating: clair de lune - claude debussy

yes, even modern keating's fav song would be classical, you can rip that from my cold, dead hands. this song was based off the poem by the same title by paul verlaine, which i'll include because it is just so damn beautiful.

Your soul is a select landscape

Where charming masqueraders and bergamaskers go

Playing the lute and dancing and almost

Sad beneath their fantastic disguises.

All sing in a minor key

Of victorious love and the opportune life,

They do not seem to believe in their happiness

And their song mingles with the moonlight,

With the still moonlight, sad and beautiful,

That sets the birds dreaming in the trees

And the fountains sobbing in ecstasy,

The tall slender fountains among marble statues.

Paul Verlaine, 1869 (originally written in french, so this is a rough english translation)

now the song itself does SUCH a good job at capturing the beauty and moving parts of this poem, and it fits perfectly with a plethora of different emotions. i know without a shadow of a doubt that its his kryptonite. is that me projecting because i love this song and i love keating? absolutely, but i still think its true either way.

[dearmahiru-archive]

even without textual evidence id love to hear your thoughts on kotoko not killing anyone directly!! i never hear 10 theories, & especially not ones that dont revolve around her beating up the prisoners. if youre comfortable, i would love to hear your thoughts on my wife ~with love

Ahh so sorry for how long it took to me to answer this ask my brain has been gone for the past few days. But you're right!  How could I pass up an opportunity to talk about Kotoko? She deserves so much more love than what she's given. Kotoko appreciators please interact I'd love to hear your thoughts.

So we already know I subscribe to this particular theory:

Since it serves as a extension of the parallels found in the prisoners. It also fits with Kotoko since she states she'd be an innocent person outside of Milgram:

Kotoko: [...]To defend and protect the weak, there’s always situations when you can't do anything else. I say again, what I did is, “facing an urgent and illegal infringement, an action taken out of necessity to protect the rights of myself and others”. You do understand what that means, right? Es: "Criminal law, the 36th paragraph, article 1. Justifiable self-defense." Kotoko: "Looks like someone has studied. So in reality, my case, if taken to the judiciary, will also be judged as justifiable defense.

(Kotoko you did nothing wrong so true so true!)

Though, I'll admit this doesn't outright confirm she didn't kill directly anyone. However, if we work back from the idea Kotoko commited an indirect murder then you start noticing a lot of weird details in her case.

— The Warehouse

First off, Kotoko didn't directly killed the warehouse guy. We know this because her actual victim died in a nearby street in Sendocho, Kyoto.

There is the possibility there's multiple murders underneath her belt but she hasn't mentioned it hereself:

Kotoko: I did kill someone. This is why I believe in the power of Milgram.

And, unlike other prisoners, Kotoko has no reason to lie about herself. She admires the prison and believe she's done nothing wrong. If she wants to become our fang then certainly she'd jump at the chance to mention all the villains she's defeated.

Which is amazing and everything but. . . if Kotoko's victim didn't die in the warehouse then why is it the climax of Harrow? It's obviously meant to be presented as her murder. Why are there so many strange details included in the warehouse scene too?

I pointed this out in a seperate post but there's three major strange details in the warehouse scene:

1). A car suddenly appears the second time Kotoko enters the warehouse.

2). Kotoko's outfit shifts midway through entering.

3.) Despite that, her cap still appears on the ground.

(I don't even think Takao, the warehouse guy, is even bleeding...! I've been told otherwise but I turned up the saturation and stared at the image like twelve different times but I think its shadow. Why is it obscure anyway??? Just make it outright!! Some of us have vision problems y'know!!)

I don't have any answers for why these details are here but it's weird. This is only time I can think of in S1 where the "real world" has muddled up details like this. (Apart from maybe Rei's change of eye colour which is more subtle than this).

Which isn't to say her victim isn't Takao. Again, it's the literal climax of the song and her wolf imagery comes out full stop while dealing with him. She's been hunting this guy down for possibly two years and he's done inexcusable harm to children.

Several news article through Harrow Flash news: A girl's dead body was found near her home, presumed to be another victim of a killing spree targeting little girls

New evidence: tire marks, same as the marks found near where the girl's corpse was abandoned. The culprit seems to have kidnapped her by car, murdered her, and dumped her body near her home

 The person who killed 10 people in two years was the spoiled son of an upper-class citizen. He ran over an elementary-school girl and she died, which may have been concealed due to his father's power

It also fits with her theme of protecting others as opposed to Mikoto's theme of protecting himself. Murdering a serial killer who's done inexcusable harm on this level can make it harder to punish her in the future. She did a very, very good thing by taking this guy down.

Her smile also matches up with the shot in Undercover where she's presumedly beating someone to death.

— The Alley way

If we're discussing a potential victim here then it's more likely to be Mikio Oshii, the man she beats up in the alley way. However, I'm not convinced of this either because it's never given full confirmation.

An article from Harrow: "Mikio Oshii, a man wanted for theft was found unconscious yesterday night and taken to the hospital, his face and stomach beaten up. Footprints of a man's sneakers were found at the site, and the police are searching for a male culprit."

(transmasc kotoko so true!! handsome boy!!)

It's possible he could've died later in the hospital—like, genuinely I believe it, there's plenty of evidence, and I don't have a direct argument against it—but for the sake of this theory I don't think this is the case.

Unless Mikio laid a hand on her prior, tracking down to corner a thief and beating him until he's unconscious wouldn't constitute as self defense. If this was the case then why not show the audience?

As for the indirect murder part, there could be a debate over whether a death caused later constitutes as murder but I don't think it'd be an interesting debate.

It's also a pretty tame murder in the context of Milgram. Kotoko "I defeat evil doers" Yuzuriha beat up an old guy, didn't even finish the job, and he died by blood loss. Not only is this the legal definition of murder (Kotoko had the intent to harm + the victim died as a result of her wounds), the literal children of Milgram have done worse. When Amane wanted to kill someone she atleast brought a steel pipe and aimed for the head!

However, this isn't to say her victim isn't Mikio. Atleast, not entirely. The alley way matches closest with the Sendoku street and beating up someone is presented as her murder. This scene is definitely important to understanding case.

—So Like, What Is Her Murder Then?

Haha... remember in my original post when I this theory was half-baked and had little evidence? I can croon all I want about how it's not Takao or Mikio but she had to killed someone, y'know? There's no other character in Milgram where you couldn't reasonably guess the victim based off of the first trial alone. I've also noted why it still could've been either of them too. This also isn't conclusive evidence she didn't directly or indirectly murder them either.

Personally, I think Kotoko's crime should be an extension of Milgram prison, similarly to Fuuta. Her judge/jury/executioner vigilante traits fts this already but I think it could go even further. I'm thinking she might've turned to a higher authority and they recieved a lethal punishment of some kind? That's kind-of just my shot in the dark through.

Kotoko's case interests me the most because of how simple is appears to be while having so many elusive elements. For instance, who're the two girls and the man with the hammer? One of the girl's could've been Kotoko herself too which makes for an incredibly interesting backstory. There's also this line in her voice trailer:

Kotoko: "From the begin I've never asked for your understanding! My actions, one by one, are bringing earth closer to peace. Useless Weaklings should just shut up and let me protect them!"

Which is strange because every voiceline happens before their time in Milgram. Who is she talking to and why does she need to defend herself while talking to them?

This conclusion is a bit of a mess but wow I'm really excited for Deep Cover. Recieving confirmation on anything is going to make me ecstatic. Inno Kotoko truther through and through I adore her.

[ajahahahah]

Im gonna be 17 in four days i dont know if i should kill myself or not i have tried to find love for years but my mom was in the military and i dated did everything you should but once you move they are gone specially when you only know em for two years now i barely have any friends i just moved here because my mom wanted to be closer to family and i have no one i really wanna kill myself but i know if i do either i wont exist anymore i wont even comprehend existence i will go to hell cause i know im shitty person or the other ending where you exist but dont i hate myself i hate who ive become i hate what ive done i wanna die for it but no one know anything of what ive done how ive acted how i am who i am im just a husk a lier a non empathetic bastard i hate myself i hate everything i am id take pretty much anyone to date anyone to help me have a single reason not to die but that isnt happening because people who are easy to date quick to break even easier so im here alone in my room unable to sleep permanently thinking wanting to die unable to pick up the rope unable to pick up my knifes unable to change what i did in the past i wanna die because of that i dont know how long im gonna last maybe ill get past college realize my dream job was a sham work as a firewatch realize i cant be alone work as some stripper just for money realize im ugly fat a loser work my quote un quote dream job and wish i was dead everyday unable to find someone to love someone to care for someone who i can hug kiss anything and ill commit truly finally free from the stresses of life i wish i could do that now but i cant im unable to i cant risk it i have two more good years then im dead because after that ill be throw out like my brother hated silently people worried about but not caring enough to check until its too late i know I’m an idiot for writing this but im screaming into a relentless void which no one will ever see so i will use this to post pone my demise a day a year a decade who know next time i write one of these thats how you'll know after im privileged i got hit by two cars can walk im alive my mom is well off so i shouldnt be depressed why should on the surface i have great parents not many family members have died not many direct family have died either so why am i sad i dont know im unable to say when insay i wanna die i dont know why its a mixture my body my social life my hatred towards me not studying and playings game that help short term but long term no i hate that i waste my time doing this i hate my self because all im doing is screaming and accusing and being stupid and annoying angry all i do is complain while i should just accept my death or just keep going till i do

[yuxmemi-01]

First post! This is Chapter one of Crescent Moon, a twilight fantasy fiction involving my original character.

Abril x Jasper

It was exactly one forty seven in the morning when I recieved the news that id be moving in with my godmother. The first thought I had was, what if im a burden? No one wants to feel that way, I mean—shes only seen me a few times, ive only gone to forks once and that was for the summer, I felt like such a burden, and I dont want to feel that way ever again.

“Too late.”

I say to myself as I walk towards the cheery lady in the grey toyota—Brie, short for Gabriella, my godmother. She isnt able to have kids of her own, so when my parents had me, it was the best day of her life.

Brie moved to forks for a fresh start, kinda like what my parents are doing for me. She graduated from law school and decided it was time to go somewhere she always wanted to go—America, specifically Washingon, but she didnt want to be around a lot of people, so forks was perfect for her, like it will be for me, hopefully.

“So, hows school been?” Small talk, damnit. “Its been fine, a little boring though.” Not just that, its been hell, I wish I could drop out, but I cant, I have too much I need to accomplish.

“Thats too bad, you want to go shopping? You need to fill up that closet in your new room somehow right?” Shes too sweet, she doesnt need to, I know she doesnt want to, I dont want pity.

“Thats really okay, you dont need to-“

“Its okay Querita, lets go get you some cute clothes.” She offers a soft dimpled smile, she could be a model if she really wanted to, Brie has gorgeous shiny black hair with the smoothest skin and perfect teeth, shes forty but looks twenty years younger than that.

The store smells of incense and new clothes, Brie and I split up, she goes to pic out a few things for herself and I go straight to the opposite side of the store, where the granny clothes lay waiting, baggy ugly dresses and oversized hoodies, nice and comfortable…

I pick out a few loose fitting jeans and hoodies, and a pair of shoes, I hope she buys it all.

“Ugh!” Brie gasps dramatically. “Cariña, qué es esto?!” Shit, maybe I did grab too much!

“Im sorry, I can put some back.” I shift my foot to turn but she grabs my arm, “honey no! Those clothes are too big, and wheres the color?” She drags me to the other side of the store, grabs the clothes and throws them on a rack. “We need to get you something cute, make a good impression yknow?” I sigh and cross my arms, “none of these clothes are going to fit me!”

“What are you talking about? Were like the same size.” She gestured to both of our bodies, I laugh. “No we arent, im bigger than you!”

“Hun, no you arent.” She laughs as she picks up a shirt and puts it to my chest, “what bra size do you wear?”

God this is embarrassing, “double D.” “Same here.” She smiles and picks a few more things. We travel isle to isle, grabbing different clothes and underwear for me, why is she doing this? Did my parents tell her to?

“Isnt this too much money?” I say at checkout, the total was way over five hundred. “Of course not! You dont think ive been saving for your move here?” This was planned? How long have they been plotting on my move?

We visit a few other stores, perfume stores, decor stores, music stores. The car is completely full of things that I didnt need, which I couldn’t be more greatful for, I just…dont understand why, why go through all this trouble?

“Home sweet home!” Brie says as we bring in the rest of the bags. “I have to show you your room, come.” She gestures me to hold her hand and we walk up the stairs. We make it to the door and it has a sign with my name on it, she made me a custom sign?

I look at her excited face as the light from the open door hits her face, I turn my head and im met with the most gorgeous room I’ve ever laid my eyes upon. The first thing I see is a bed thats looks like a queen maybe? A pretty black headboard and baseboard, a purple silky sheet set with pillows to match, a rug, bookshelves with a rocking chair on the left side of the room, and to the right has a big closet that looks like it could fit a car.

what the hell did I do to deserve such a good thing?

“Brie…” tears start to well in my eyes, how much did this cost? Why me? “Thank you so much-“ she holds me tight to her chest as I let my tears fall, why is the universe being so good to me all of a sudden?

“How did you know I liked purple?” I reluctantly pry myself away from her “im your mother, I know everything about you.”

She smiles at me, that swells something in my heart, is this what it feels like to be cared for? To be payed attention to? It feels nice….

“You should unpack, I’ll go buy us some dinner.”

She rubs my shoulder and goes downstairs, the sound of the door later follows.

I inspect the room multiple times in disbelief, no way this is mine, I laugh to myself as I rush downstairs to get comfortable in my new room.

Its currently eight O’clock, my room is unpacked and decorated and a shower has been taken, and my stomach is full, I plop down on my bed and take in a deep breath of my new perfume, I could get used to this!

Ive never had such a luxury before, me? have a nice room? Never crossed my mind, ive been in survival mode for most of my life, maybe this is when I finally get to relax…

That night was the night it started, the dreams.

I was in a forest, a very dark forest. I was running, I didn’t know why I was running until I looked beside me, keeping up with me was something that you only see in movies, a golden eyed beast. It had wild light fur, not like anything I’ve ever seen on an animal, a blonde color, actually. It leaps at me and I wake up.

“Gah!” I wake up panting and in a cold sweat, what was that? It’s five in the morning, just great!

I hope out of bed to get ready early, I smile as I make my way to my clothes filled closet, how aesthetically pleasing.

I pick a pair of jeans and a tank top, I just grab a thin jacket to cover my shoulders and stomach, the clothes were a tight fut as expected, i have never felt more vintage in a pair of jeans. I didn’t bother looking in the mirror doing my hair, its muscle memory, I stopped looking in the mirror a long time ago. I eat an apple and yogurt and eventually Brie wakes up to take me to school, I have to buy me a car, I cant depend on others, that wouldn’t be fair.

I get my schedule and start heading towards the main building for first hour, I get plentiful stares, transferring during the second semester was sure to bring multiple glances, damn! I need to get out of here…

I speed up and start to rapidly search for my class, “where is it?-“ I clash with someone mid speed walk, talk about embarrassing, she stumbles and I catch her by the shoulders. “Im so sorry, oh my god I didn’t mean to!”

What a way to make a first impression Abril! I mentally bash myself in the head.

“No it’s fine, all good.” She shakes her head and laughs. She looks at me a second, puzzled. She must know im new, shes never once seen me. While she stares I notice her features, pretty brown big eyes and brown hair with the palest skin I’ve ever seen, how pretty.

“Im sorry! Are you new?” She says with a confused look.

“Yes, I am actually.”

“Figures, ive never seen you around, whats your name?”

“Abril, Abril Torrez” her eyes widen.

“Thats a pretty name, mines is Bella, Bella Swan. Whats your first hour?”

I giggle, “thank you, I have English with Mr. Mason” I smile as she smiles wider, “sweet, We have the same first hour, you were going the wrong way, you passed it.” She points out.

“Oh thats so embarrassing!” I slap my forehead and turn the other way, we start to walk together.

The day goes by relatively fast and I make it to fourth hour, Chemistry.

“Nice to meet you Abril, could you introduce yourself to the class?” What?! Shes the only teacher so far to ask me that, why, why, why!

“Uhm…My name is Abril Torrez, it’s nice to meet you.” My heart is racing from just that one interaction, “okay, now for a seat…ah, you can sit by Hale, Hale raise your hand.” The teacher says, a hand from the left side of the room raises, sitting there was something I would of never thought I would ever see.

Such an ethereal face, those eyes…theyre black and almost primal, he has slight bruises under his eyes, and his face…that build. I couldn’t possibly sit by him, no way.

I cant just stand frozen, so sadly I have no choice. In the left corner, the seat by him was open, chills ran down my spine as the atmosphere shifts almost instantly, I cant look him in the eye, but I can tell hes nit happy, hes stiff as a board….almost as if he isn’t breathing, does he not want to sit next to me that bad? His demeanor was off the entire class period, I just wanted to get out, it was degrading, insulting even. He darted out the door before the bell rung…

The only thing I looked forward to was talking to Bella, she was the only person that talked to me today.

The lunch line is long and crowded, I grab a little salad, an apple, and a water. I spot Bella and start to make my way towards the table she was seated at, when all of a sudden I get a strong urge to look to the opposite side of the room, there sat Hale and four more Ethereal beings, they all sat staring at me, looking like beautifully sculpted statues, pale—bruised under eyes, and the darkest eyes ive ever seen. Am I staring too much? This is embarrassing, I want to be invisible!

My clothes are too tight, they feel itchy, I cant do this I need to sit, eugh!

I take a huge breath of hair once I sit down, the pressure is too much. “Hey.” A soft mature viice rings in my ear, which I instantly recognize as that girl Bella.

“Oh, hey.” I say out of breath. “Are you okay?”

“Who are those people in the corner?” She looks back and makes a face of realization, “oh! You mean the Cullens.” She smiles and waves at one, a bronze haired boy waves back with a smile, breath taking.

“Im getting deja vu.”

Hm? Who is that? I dont even have to turn because soon the table floods with four other people, making the table total six, which is way too much, too many people in one space, and im new! I think im going to pass out.

“Tell me about it.” A blonde boy says, responding to the brown haired girl. The table introduces themselves one by one, the brown haired girl is Jessica, the tall girl with glasses is Angela, the geeky boy is Ben, and the blonde boy is Mike.

“So, Abril, you wanna know about the Cullens ey?” Ben says nudging my shoulder, I feel awkward and as stiff as a board, I just wanna go home…

“Well, yes.” I say. “Then bella should do the honors then, yes?” Jessica says, with a snap in her tone, she seems bitter.

Bella rolls her eyes and starts, “first, the Blonde girl? Thats rosalie, shes the twin brother to the blonde boy, Jasper.”

That boy, so his First name is Jasper? Something about his hair is familiar, and those eyes…

“The black haired girl with the pixie cut is Alice, the boy with the short curly hair is Emmett, and the bronze haired one is Edward, my boyfriend, theyre all adopted siblings and the adoptive kids of Esme and Carlisle Cullen. Rosalie and emmett are dating.”

“Wha-huh?!” I do I double take, did she say boyfriend? So she knows them personally!

“So, you know them on a personal level?” She smiles, “I guess you could say that, yeah.”

I look over one last time and all of them are just staring a hole into my soul. I feel like crying, why are they staring? Is there something wrong with the way I look? My hair? Clothes? Body? What is it? I adjust my clothes but still feel uncomfortable.

My last hour is P.E with bella and Mike, I cant get that Jasper boy out of my head, why is he so familiar?