#i dont even like podcasts that much lmao

[shrimpler]

i’ve never so violently wanted the entire world to Look At This Thing as i do with the silt verses

it’s truly one of my favorite fictional works like. ever. and i’m constantly fighting the urge to grab everyone i see by the shoulders and start shaking them while aggressively begging them to listen to it because what else do i do with myself after experiencing something like this

[karinyosa]

cleaning out my following list and am being reminded of the phase i had where i was trying to make myself feel about being wlw the way i felt about being mlm (which is not what i called it at the time and also i was bisexual at this time) and i did this by. following every random carol fan blog i could find jshdsjhshjdsdcjhsdjchsbjdcgshdcjsdghcjh

[mothusband]

crochet is suppose to be calming or whatever but instead it's making me EVIL

[quoteenjoyer]

Hiya! I know that the post where you asked for show recs was from a little bit ago haha, but if you like iZombie I would definitely recommend Veronica Mars!! Same people worked on both shows, and there are some similar vibes but it certainly has its own feel to it. The first season revolves around the protagonist trying to find out who killed her best friend, with smaller, individual mysteries each episode. I think it’s very good at doing that thing that iZombie also does; where it can be very silly and poke fun at itself a lot but still keeping you genuinely invested in the characters.

I’m also not exactly sure where your tastes run but I might also suggest Fringe! It’s another sort of mystery-of-the-week show with an overarching antagonist/problem like the others, and it has that same sort of ‘clearly magic adjacent but we’ve got a sciencey explanation for it’ thing going on that iZombie does. It’s about an FBI agent who has to solve all these strange cases with almost paranormal going-ons, with the help of a disgraced mad scientist and his son. The characters are the most fun part of it imho, like the mysteries are good but watching the silly little people grow and become friends? Is just wonderful to me <33

ALSO iZombie is what actually got me into Alias, but I think this is already kind of long and I’ll never shut up about it when you get me started lol. Anyhow sorry for this being just out of the blue, I just really like suggesting tv shows haha! 😅

dont worry im endlessly looking for show recommendations!

thank you so much for sending some in! i'll for sure check these out. they sound pretty good and since ive officially given up on rewatching torchwood i'll need a new list of shows to go through

especially since my most important meds have stopped working and i have to be shut in for a month until i can get in to see my doc 🙄

gives me an excuse to be lazy though! lolol

[pearl-likes-pi]

i honestly dont know hoe to say this, but you really had a hand in shaping my brai chemistry while i was growing up, no kidding. i remember when i was 13 or so and whenever you posted a pearl rap career chapter it would unironicaly make my day (specially when you dropped the peridot chapter i had a stomach infection or smth, so that video and the last one out of beach city episode were on replay for me for a few days). its really weird seeing that rebecca managed to make a safe space for lgbt folks (it was really hard for me to accept myself as gay, it seems really simple nowadays but back then it was so discomforting to even thinm about it so su and its fandom, and by some extent, your vids, helped me externalize some feelings or queernes i guess, do you remeber when someone said your video editing was raw and masculine? lol). anyways, its wild to think i was in 5th grade when i first watched laser light canon and now im finishing my journalism course in college and seeing how this show raised me in some way and helped me to be aware of my own mental health i only have good memories, thankfully, and its really sad to see that it ended, but i honestly wouldnt have had it any other way. its kind of a long rant but id like to thank you, mackenzie, your videos made me laugh a lot when i was a teen and they still make me now. this show was truly a gift, it made us connect to something bigger and magical. this was kind of a long rant since ive kinda forgotten that su existed and remined that it existed because of some dreams lol. i remembered back then when i was super anxious about the cluster episode, i remeber checking your tumblr everyday and seeing fanon content. i really dont know how to express myself since english is not my first language and i tend to ramble on a lot on my native one, but id like to say youve made me smile a lot, it was so cool seeing you present the su podcast and being an intern at CN. i honestly wish you the best.

Dude it means so much to hear that my lil shitposts have had an impact on people!!!! I completely understand where youre coming from re: SU's impact on your life (and acceptance of queer identity) and feel the same way!!! im so grateful for this show and everything it represents. in a world without Steven Universe my current life would be completely unrecognizable. like genuinely I dont think any single aspect of my life would be the way it is without SU. which is nuts but it's true!!!

I love engaging with this community and it gave me a lot of support when I was at a place in my life where I felt pretty isolated. I'm kind of rambling now too but this seriously has been sitting in my inbox for a bit now and I just knew i needed to respond and say thank you for sharing. <3

ALSO LMAO I FORGOT ABT THE RAW AND MASCULINE COMMENT THANK YOU FOR REMINDING ME HAHA

[starsoftheeye]

TMAGP Episode 15 Live Reaction

I'm destressing after an exam so we're doing this again baby wooo

Pre-Episode

My YouTube keeps not showing the episode, it's been like an hour since the release and its still not up for me

It's not even up for my laptop this is so annoying

I can't remember how I got it to show up last time as well

Bro I keep refreshing my page and its not there WHERE ARE YOU???

Screw it Spotify get over here

THANK YOU SPOTIFY

who is this man and why is he just doing the toffee/gum in mouth/ face stretching exercise from every drama rehearsal i've ever been to

this is oddly scary

as a physics student... probably

oh its a gum ad

oooh implications

this podcast sounds cool

hi simon!!

i'm gonna stop talking about the ads now this post is so long already lmao

i love it when people dedicate episodes to their friends its so sweet

Pre-Statement

sam and celia!!

:0 he got them tickets? thats so sweet i love him

Theatre tickets can be fucking expensive as well jesus he is down bad

ah yes, my favourite piece of theatre to bring a date to: The Pillowman

i love them

alice!!

oooh luke mention

every thursday i listen to a new tmagp episode and every thursday my samalicelia post becomes a little more plausible

she has really thought this through huh

okay this is probably alice meddling out of jealousy but seriously you cannot expect me to hear her basically asking these two to hangout after theyve been on a date and expect my samalicelia brain to not go insane over it

aw alice :(

jack mention jack mention

"babys are cool" shes so me

aw celia i love her

uh oh sam and alice conversation

oh so now youtube decides to work

i cannot understand what sam said there but i'm assuming it was funny and only a bit passive agressive

Statement

Ah another voicemail

this guy sounds like tim but not

oh god what fucked up dinner party are the rich doing now

"they wanted to know whos kill they were eating" oh this is gonna be interesting

oh no theyre watching

ah yes, very informative "prepare"

whos gonna die

ooooh a fucked up woman i love fucked up women

i know this is probably a very important character and i should be paying attention but i am a mere lesbian and i am finding this woman very attractive right now

thats when you realised something was up?

oh im so gay

theyre gonna aim for the caterers they are not safe

bingo

theyre gonna make them run methinks

they killed all the birds

oh are they gonna make the caterers kill something/someone?

oh no steven :(

these people are being very vague id be asking so many questions

each other?

EACH OTHER

PLEASE BE EACH OTHER THATS SO COOL

EACH OTHER YES

I LOVE HUNTING STORIES

this guys enjoying this a little too much

go on boris

oh no boris :(

is she following him?

OH NO HE GOT CAUGHT

AHHHH WOMAN

SHES HOT

HUH????

CELIA RUN

actually no dont you have a better chance if you stay i think

SLAY CELIA

lena what did you do

this is weirdly homoerotic

GWEN???

GWEN WHAT DID YOU DO

GWEN I LOVE YOU BUT WHAT

CHESIRE BOUCHARDS WHAT

GWEN?????

Post-Statement

ooooh is this lukes band?

theyre good i like it

awww these two arent gonna survive together

damn hes doing well

pfffft weedy git i love luke already

hello?? whos this??

lady are you okay??

alice run

ALICE RUN

ALICE HONEY WHAT HAPPENED

yippee more trauma for her to cover up with jokes

is she doing ellie the elephant oh my god

oh shes back

yeah alice you should run

im betting this was the stranger from the magnus institute

i shouldve paid attention to her little ramble lol

oh my god so much is happening in this show and we're only on episode 15

[ww2yaoi]

THIS IS LONG AS FUCK LMAO IM SO SORRY IN ADVANCE I REALLY JUST STARTED YAPPING but i saw your post abt mota characters being underdeveloped compared to other hbo war shows and had some Thoughts

this is something i’ve heard mentioned on a couple reviews from historian guys on youtube and podcasts etc. i’m honestly not sure how much of it is intentional and how much of it is a result of weird pacing and writing decisions made due to budget cuts or episode numbers being reduced or whatever but it is something i thought was interesting:

basically the way the show treats its characters is kinda reflective of the way the air war itself was for the men involved: at first you’d would arrive on base and make close friends and develop rapport with each other a la buck bucky curt croz etc. but then the attrition sets in - someone like curt dies, more and more crews disappear, and on base it’s like they never existed. you get jaded. it becomes harder to get close to the new guys because you know they’re more than likely gonna be dead after the next mission, or you will be, and they’ll have to deal with losing you. this is kinda reflected in the scene after buck n bucky meet rosie. ‘when we go down they won’t remember us either’ etc.

the show kinda does this with the characters it introduces. u meet the main guys in the beginning and get sort of familiar with them, enough to be attached, and then curt fucking dies. if you aren’t well versed in the real history (like i wasn’t) then you have no damn idea who’s surviving to the end, and that makes you approach the remaining leads a little differently. when buck goes down you don’t really know if you’ll see him again. ‘they wouldn’t kill him it’s austin butler’ but they killed barry keoghan already soooo maybe they will? maybe bucky is the main lead now? it’s hard to know who’s safe to stay invested in.

and then obviously we follow bucky through his little romp through germany and then the stalag, (which is tense as fuck because WE DONT KNOW IF HES SAFE NARRATIVELY SPEAKING) but when it switches back to base there’s no mention of him or buck after the initial loss. like they never existed. we get rosie and croz, and a bunch of brand new crews who we mostly don’t recognize and who blend together so easily we have no idea if they survive or not because we don’t care and neither does the show. there is not space to care (diagetically if youre a pilot because you stop putting effort in to get acquainted w them just to lose someone again, and irl because the show stops putting effort in to distinguish them from each other).

guys we even sort of recognize or give a fuck about like nash die immediately. or (this one is kinda a stretch bc obviously their storyline getting forgotten about probably isn’t intentional but) with quinn and bailey when their plot gets dropped you can look at it like the guys on base who cared about them have also died or been shot down, so they’re no longer important to follow. and when buck returns to base in 9 who greets him? croz and rosie. almost nobody else who remembers him is still around. they either died or went to the stalag with him, or to other ones like it.

the show essentially ends up mirroring its characters: starting out with the promise of brotherhood and wartime camaraderie and friendship etc etc and then having it UTTERLY SHATTERED by the realities of the kind of war they are fighting.

it’s honestly fascinating to me. i’ve very rarely experienced a show with a supposedly ensemble cast at the start where the ensemble aspect kind of just gets destroyed and the characters are all killed or permanently split up partway through.

yeah that’s interesting and you have good points. I wasn’t really talking about their bonds with each other though, more so their individual character arcs and personality traits that were often shallow or not fleshed out entirely. I understand not having much of a supporting cast because these men were so expendable, but there were characters like macon and alex etc. who could’ve been given more to do. people have even argued (I don’t know if I entirely agree) that buck and bucky had shallow characterization as well. I think it’s good that you can find that kind of meaning in the show but I don’t think the show does that great of a job at hitting home these points and kind of just arrives there incidentally

then there’s the question of why even adapt this material if it’s not very well suited for a narrative story in the first place. and people can argue about that I’m not gonna touch it lol

but I see your point. I just don’t think the show was that intentional about the way it handled its character arcs. it feels more like things just falling by the wayside than intentional thematic choices

[cloudycleric]

heyy dude i’m watching ur podcast video rn and i saw some of ur posts about it can you please go more into detail about ur thoughts on this charming man and byler cus i feel like i’ve been screaming into the void about the smiths LMAO. i didn’t really get it w this charming man but i wanna see what you think 🙏

okay so im guessing youre asking for an explanation on this charming man & dont worry i have also been screaming the smiths into the void lately. okay so my thing with this charming man is like, it doesnt fit entirely into the perspective of either will or mike but there are certain parts that i think are just so fucking byler. i think mainly the admiration that the speaker has for the charming man is what really sells it for me; it is very very clear in the song that the speaker has a real deep & passionate admiration for him (& maybe even a crush but i dont think morrissey is ready for that talk yet & also, as a jewish person, he can go to hell.)

we got the first verse & ough DOGGIE this one is real byler coded. "puncture bicycle on the hill side desolate" could be a lot of things but the specific bicycle imagery sticks out to me a lot for obvious reasons i'm sure, originally thinking i was going to talk about how the lyric could parallel the swing set meeting since mike too in a way was left stranded looking for help during that moment before he went up to will,

BUT, i think it fits in even better when you consider will's absence from hawkins. "punctured bicycle on the hill side desolate" could also be imagery of will's bike, because god knows where it is now, & mike is seeing it just in complete misery.

the next line "will nature make a man of me yet?" okay when i tell you i have an interpretation for this one i MEAN IT. nature, in this line pretty obviously, refers to forces beyond one's control, & i once again think this is coming from mike's perspective (thought it could be easily applied to will's). okay hold onto your horses because this one is the wildest in the west

"will nature make a man of me yet?" – mike wheeler's internalized homophobia makes him unable to view himself as a real "man." by the forces of nature taking will away from him, perhaps he views this as a way of the universe trying to make him "man up" or whatever. i know that one makes me giggle so much. it hits harder if you think about it in terms of mike's obliviousness because ough thats so good, but it also can apply to will in the same way now that he's been separated from mike. but im sorry from mikes perspective it hits so much harder

OKAY now we're moving to will's territory. the next line i want to talk about is "why pamper life's complexity when the leather runs smooth on the passenger seat?" a big theme in this charming man is how the charming man is of a very higher class than the speaker, which can definitely be said about will & mike. so, this could be explaining will talking about how mike's situation is different than his, i have a deeper better explanation,

i think this line could refer to "why think about all the fucking shitty things ever when mike is so great." it's super implied in the show that mike & will always turn to each other when theyre going through a rough period, or that mike is always protective of will/wants to make sure that he's okay, so i think this may be will talking about why he should deal with the outside world, in terms of trauma or homophobia or whatever, when he can just chill out with mike & not have to worry about all that

okay, so. i don't want to talk about the "i would go out tonight" line because i don't really think it applies here & that's okay. but what i WILL go over next is the "this man said, 'it's gruesome, that someone so handsome should care,' " line because all i can think of when i see this scene is in s4 when mike & will are burying the body in the desert & will cant help himself but stare at mike. it's probably really "gruesome" (fucking AUGHHHH terrible) that someone as handsome as mike should care about him & his problems when he thinks that the probability of them getting together really sucks. even though his personality is great too, mike is a very good looking guy i will say myself & i have also thought this since i was a youngin. so the way that he is just so beautiful to will & also to anyone with eyes makes it even worse to be pining over him because god, he's just so fucking pretty?

"jumped up pantry boy, who never knew his place" once again talking about the difference in class between the speaker & the charming man. though i wouldn't go as far to describe will as a pantry boy. but guess what? will never knew his place until after he found mike.

okay finally the last two lines of the chorus but i analyze them out of order;

the "he knows so much about these things" is like OUGH that is VAN SCENE BEHAVIOR. i could 100000% see mike going "will knows so much about these problems i have & exactly how to fix them" or whatever, & in a metaphorical way you could make the argument that will is trying to communicate something along the lines of "return the ring" but trying to get a 1:1 match for that line is a bit tricky & a lot of a stretch since will is trying to convince mike to go for it, BUT what im trying to get at is that the line could parallel how will is giving love advice to mike in the same way that the charming man does to the speaker, & the speaker is as entranced with the charming man as mike is with will

I HOPE THIS ANSWERS YOUR QUESTION! i should really organize this into a manifesto or something

[catwyk]

ok i finished malevolent season 1 and i have a LOT of thoughts that im gonna write down becausr im bored. spoilers for season 1 and warning for me being a picky listener !

first off. HARLAN GUTHRIE THE MAN THAT YOU ARE. insane that this guy is doing ALL the voices?? AND all the writing??? AND all the editing and sound design????? WHAT the fuck. honestly the fact that hes (almost) the only guy working on this podcast kind of negates all my gripes n nitpicks

i LOVE the arthur/john dynamic. it reminds me a lot of venom and eddie brock but its def distinct. and its great

i rlly appreciate the amount of guidance john gives arthur, i think more would be realistic but tedious so this is a good compromise

now. speaking of realism. my main gripe

(i feel like this is gonna be a very subjective take so yknow dont take it too seriously)

two main things kind of bother me: arthur recovers from major injuries SUPER QUICKLY, and in 12 episodes he has only eaten once. yknow that post where someone's talking about their immersion in period pieces being broken by the chicken breeds bein wrong? this is very much how i feel LMAO like ok theres a supernatural healing element (this too shall pass) fine yep good. but arthur should NOT have been up and walking and ROWING so soon after a month of coma. he loses a shitload of blood from his abdomen TWICE and sure he has major reactions but after that he just sort of. keeps going. and not to mention THIS GUY DOESNT EAT HOW IS HE HEALING!!!!! SIR!!! YOUR MACROMOLECULES SIR!!!!!

obviously if we were with him every single time he eats and for every second of his recovery it would absolutely drag so im not expecting him to be seeking out food every episode but this is another compromise issue that i feel like isnt as well balanced as john being arthur's seeing eye eldritch god

but again this is probably just a case of me being sensitive to certain parts of realism that other people arent so this is very much a nick picking complaint

as for the writing, i rly like the diegetic framing of the narration as john describing any given situation to arthur

however i think an unfortunate symptom of this is that sometimes the narration feels overly descriptive and eloquent in situations where it shouldnt be. like when theyre being attacked by the amphibious river creature, john says something like "stomach and ventral area", which was honestly. So unexpected it took me out of the scene entirely i was just like he would not fucking say that lol

another thing is sometimes the tension building does not work at all. the rising strings feel too cliché to have any real effect, and the way john speaks about horrors can get repetitive to the point where it just doesnt bother me. "fuck. arthur.... there's *something* in the water/in the room/hunting us". that kind of vagueness doesnt work well for me a least anyway, but when its happening every episode or more it really gets old

anyway that being said i think those are my only real complaints and i think theyre so subjective anyways so like do they even count

also im heartbroken im unable to stop myself looking up spoilers bc the john is the king on yellow reveal would have been so cool if i didnt know it was coming

and the fanart. is so fucking good

[littencloud9]

Can I ask from this ask game : https://www.tumblr.com/toomanyfandomsthings/749729499738996736/send-me-a-ship-and-a-number-and-ill-tell-you?source=share

No. 2, 10, 11, 12, 15 for ItaFushi, Shin Soukoku & TachiGin ,Renga and ShiGuang...Thanks 🌻

hii dear! sure let’s go ‼️

itafushi

2. What their love letters look like

megumi writes the most romantic long love letters that sound like actual poetry. yuuji isnt much of a writer—his version of love letters are decorating the photos he takes of him, or annotating megumi’s favourite books etc

10. What TV shows they watch together, and which ones they hide from the other

they watch Everything together. megumi sits through yuuji’s bad movies for him. yuuji watches megumi’s guilty pleasures and never makes fun of him for it. true love

11. What their first impression was of each other

i mean. it was a life or death situation there. i think yuuji thought megumi to he really cool and smart, and megumi thought yuuji to be incredibly reckless but brave at the same time :)

12. What they do for their anniversary

probably something simple on school grounds. maybe staying in and just resting for once. yuuji might cook a nice meal he knows megumi likes. they get each other small gifts (matching keychains would be so cute) and just appreciate a slow day together!

15. What they would change about each other

mmm i think yuuji would wish that megumi would ask for help more instead of trying to do everything alone, and megumi would want yuuji to stop shouldering all his burden by himself

—

sskk

2. What their love letters look like

hdjfhfk can you IMAGINE aku’s love letters. half of it is cursing atsushi out and the other half speaks of his love like it’s a rotting curse. rip atsushi who tries to decipher what he means

10. What TV shows they watch together, and which ones they hide from the other

i think atsushi would like anime. im not sure aku has a particular favourite. he’ll just watch whatever atsushi does

11. What their first impression was of each other

LMAO I MEAN. THEY TRIED TO KILL EACH OTHER. so,,

12. What they do for their anniversary

romantic dinner and a walk around the city is the vibe im getting. something private and just them

15. What they would change about each other

i think the whole thing with sskk is that they grew to love what they hated about each other. it was a long and gruesome progress. maybe back then they would’ve tried to change something, but not anymore

—

tachigin

2. What their love letters look like

neither of them are particularly good with words, i dont see them writing love letters. but tachi does spout poetry in his head about gin bc hes a loser like that (jkjk i love him)

10. What TV shows they watch together, and which ones they hide from the other

gin would 100% be into crime documentaries and podcasts. some of it freaks tachi out and they’re like 😐 you’ve done worse. i think tachi would enjoy romance dramas but he is not letting gin find out

11. What their first impression was of each other

tachihara thinks gin is the weirdest creepiest fucking guy ever. gin thinks tachi is a mafia poser (that gangstersona is no joke). but then they threaten each other one (1) time and immediately gain respect for each other

12. What they do for their anniversary

try to bake a cake at 2am. fail miserably. clown around. guns and knives are somehow involved

15. What they would change about each other

they’re too busy worrying about their own idenities to even think about changing each other

—

renga

2. What their love letters look like

short and sweet, but only because both of them are holding back and trying not to come off as utterly in love

10. What TV shows they watch together, and which ones they hide from the other

other than skate compilations, renga watches cheesy romance dramas together real and true to me. i also think langa watches animal documentaries alone. not really hiding it from reki but he doesnt think reki would share that interest

11. What their first impression was of each other

NFJDJBSDJ. gestures to canon. they thought each other were weirdos then fell in love

12. What they do for their anniversary

skate together while holding hands despite that throwing their balance off terribly. trust

15. What they would change about each other

i think langa would always be trying to subtly boost reki’s confidence </3 i miss them

—

shiguang

2. What their love letters look like

i’ve written a fic about it! lu guang is such a love letter guy

10. What TV shows they watch together, and which ones they hide from the other

lu guang hiding his stash of cheesy romance movies vs cheng xiaoshi openly sobbing his heart out over said movies

11. What their first impression was of each other

idk but i think they were just naturally drawn to each other like magnets. they clicked very fast (haha link click. ill see myself out)

12. What they do for their anniversary

🥹 omg… i could see like a theme park date or something similar. and then they go home and look through their photo album together. and lg takes more photos of cxs secretly and they fall asleep on the couch together and. and. [starts sobbing]

15. What they would change about each other

HFKFHSJDHDJF. i think if cxs ever found out what lg was doing he’d immediately try to stop it. yeag…

[kfruityouth]

alright alright okay so

this line kind of implies that sydney's rejection (to put it lightly. sydneys near-murder of him.) is enough reason for him to return to his home country. i wonder whats waiting for him there? maybe hes just got no where else to go now?

this line here...

...tells us that he emigrated to america, presumably with his family..? but then why would he go back to russia, if his family is all here? just to run away from everything that happened? does he know he's Fucked Up™

adding in at the last minute as i re-read this........... the use of the pet name "doll" feels very... well, what do you think of when you think of the words "russian" and "doll" in the same sentence? matryoshka dolls represent the cycle of life typically... eeee.... the cycle of life and death... see the tie back to sydney? and his 'death'? and rebirth? because you can stack and un-stack the dolls as much as you like? aghhhhhhhhhh!!!! am i overthinking this? probably. but the fact that you can even point out these little details in chnt just to me shows the level of effort put into the podcast in the first place

and lmao. 'wealthy family'. do all nepo babies in the chnt universe just choose to become little freaks? i mean, soren, jeddie to an extent, elijah...

("yeah i like shepherding sheep. but also the taste of their young.")

also too...

...assuming the salamander was actually elijah, which of course could just be a throwaway line to describe him, but also considering the vagueness in this whole spiel in which the main characters are presented as metaphorical or in a really vague and mystical sort of way... ???

(he likes collecting salamanders and also tearing their limbs off... see shepherding comparison above... hmmm...)

i also think its interesting that the agents are following the people classified as entities

hmmm... chthonic abilities being something traceable? something something fervour effect being the residual of this... idk...

also, dont even get me started on how elijahs (apparent) home province, arkhangelsk, literally translates to "archangel"... i guess if i were to get all poetic and pretentious about it, he's returning to... 'heaven'..? or he's descended from 'heaven' as an 'archangel' for syd or whatever... hmmm...

but idk. i just think its funny to imagine elijah on a plane. like this dirty blood stained weirdo freak in scrubs and a purple wizard cloak sitting at the window seat watching the clouds

[mcl38]

they haven't quite turned on vcarb the way they did mclaren but from what i've read that seems to be bc daniel keeps saying "it's not the same problem as mclaren" when like idk dude if the only time you've finished a race ahead of yuki was bc you got put on softs at the end of the race it is smelling very shades of mexico '22 to me. just without the having to make up a time penalty bc u punted yuki off the track.

i can say yuki is already getting the lando treatment though. "hOW MANY RACES HAS HE WON AND YOU DARE SAY HES PERFORMING BETTER THAN AN 8 TIME GP WINNER?" (ya i'll go to the top floor of my apartment and shout it into the void through a megaphone too what are you going to do about it) only this time there's a heavy dose of racism added in. the amount of people i have seen calling yuki a "pokémon" derogatorily and refusing to admit the racist connotations there are wild. not to mention the ableist terms i've seen be used to refer to his height. it's all very gross and yet again daniel says nothing to even try to prevent it. it's wild how someone always has to get harassed by his fans regardless of if he fails or succeeds.

ok so like first of all yikes. i rly rate yuki but im v selective w my online (especially my tumblr)

experience so i rly almost never venture out of my mclaren-centred bubble, which means i never rly see what ppl say abt him. 'pokemon' is actually vile like thats so clearly racist bc its not even a pun of his name at all or any sort of reference to his personality?? AND the fact that its a cartoon w the infantilising implications of that... ku's essay on the infantilisation of east asian drivers u will always be famous.... like u guys ever noticed how nyck is also rly short and has a youthful face and nobody ever talked abt him in the way they talk abt yuki? much to think abt

now. permission to be mean here but even if its 'not the same problem as mclaren' is the problem not STILL the fact that daniel in his 10+ year career hasnt bothered to understand the way the engineering of f1 cars works in like any material way and thats the reason he always struggles to identify his driving issues / has a disconnect with his chassis unless its tailored exactly to what he already likes and knows how to drive? i saw that bit from newey's book about how max and checo give rly good feedback and so did webber and vettel and it was kind of subtly implying that during the bit in between (the daniel era) he designed less effective cars be he wasnt getting enough precise feedback.... i genuinely havent been able to sleep at night since. like it felt like smth slotted in my head like aaaah this has been the problem all along. if only daniel wasnt so busy going on podcasts making fun of the idea of women in motorsport and actually spent some time to do some way overdue physics homework... lol. Imao even

the truth of the situation is yuki is in the best form of his career and also wiping the floor w daniel. like factually so. EVEN with team orders favouring daniel so his fans cant say its bc of that like they did with mclaren. i genuinely think its quite sad the amount of personal stock daniel fans have clearly invested in this mans career and how much it bothers them when he doesnt perform to their expectations - like he's ur driver, swallow it and accept it, because thats what he's been doing to try to move on. doing all this intense online hate bullshit only makes him look bad bc it highlights how badly and for how long he rly has been embarrassingly underperforming. but by this point it feels like they WANT him to underperform bc they crave that martyr underdog victimised figure to root for and fight for - which is why ur totally right anon, that someone always inevitably gets harrassed regardless of if daniel is failing or succeeding. 

i will say one thing which is that i rly dont think daniel is at all aware of whatever the fuck his fans do on twitter and instagram (and deffo not tumblr lmao). so i dont think this is an issue of like him telling his fans to chill out - and it doesnt work anyways, bc lando literally has made talking abt how much cyberbullying sucks a part of his personality and theres still some rly mean and hateful lando fans (not in a fun way like me<3 lol) (i hate on my own blog and in discord groupchats). so like thats not necessarily on him, its more on netflix for making him the lowest common denominator guy to like, ykwim? also the unfortunate reality is that despite the tshirts and the kneeling (or no kneeling) no one rly seems to stand up to defend the drivers of colour who literally constantly get SUCH vitriol thrown towards them w any occasion. im not expecting daniel of all ppl to say anything abt it ngl

[dreamlanddeluxe]

pro-tip from someone who has had stretches pf insomnia like this since high school: (bc your posts makes it sound like a new development and like youre scared, so i want to help. sorry this unsolicited)

but literally?? fake it

fake sleeping. youre going to lie down, close your eyes, shift when youre uncomfortable, but keep your eyes closed and stay laying down. try to keep your mind as blank as possible, thats really hard for me specifically, so i legit will listen to videos or podcasts or music or ocean-waves as i fake-sleep (bonus, i found something that works for me 60, 70% of the time are those ASMR roleplay videos where it'll be like "your boyfriend/girlfriend talks to you while you sleep" or "you get confessed to while youre asleep" or literally anything where i have to "roleplay" being asleep?? weirdly? flips a switch and ill be KOed before the video ends. what the fuck. but thats niche as hell, idk if itll work for you, but it is an "experiment! you never know" encouragement)

and youre going to want to fake-sleep as best as you can, even if youre actually awake the whole 8+ hours, because it legit tricks your brain into thinking youre asleep enough that it gives you those chemicals you need from sleeping that help regenerate your energy and whatnot. like scientists found this works really well, insomniacs who did this instead of their phone or tasks or reading, even if they rarely fell asleep while fake-sleeping, not only recorded feeling a lot better than the control group who was not given this order to sleep like this, but also had more balanced chemical stuff. i like to akin ir to a cell-phone charge. youre not going to get the 100% you would from actually sleeping, but going from a 20% to a 65% is still p huge and very helpful. before i was told this tip, i literally would meditate to recoup; and shockingly meditation releases those same chemicals so like. i was already doing it. just. sitting up instead of laying down lol

also, please do talk to a doctor about getting a sleep study done or something if you have the insurance to afford it. but this is a tip you can do in the meantime in addition to other experimentations thatll help you out. youll still feel exhausted (esp if you cant quiet your brain. my AuDHD mind shuts the fuck when other people speak, so the audio-roleplay and podcast and video-essay people have been god-sends), you won't be that 100% refresh as i already said, but it also wont be AS compounded of an exhaustion which is so helpful when your metaphorical battery is just going down and down and down— to have SOMETHING charge it even a bit or just stall it. i dont want you to think this is a "youll feel back to normal!" cure-all; it truly is the epitome of a "well, thatll help it not get WORSE at any rate, and maybe a bit better" type of rhetoric

for now, i would recommend doing a fake-nap, pick x-amount of hours that feels most comfortable to you (my pick is usually 3 or 4, but my lil sister found she prefers 2 hour long fake-naps and my other lil sister just goes "fuck it, no fake-nap, only fake-sleep; im doing 8+ hours" lmao), see if it at least takes the edge off

i have said a lot of "temper your expectations" type of stuff but i will also say this: at one point, this tip literally saved my life. because i spent 2.5 months running on a total of 4 to 6 hours of legit-sleep per week or per week-and-a-half throughout. and that kinda shit, i belatedly found out, should mean i should be dead. but i was fake-sleeping at least 5 hours a night. and my family's doctor went "uhhhhh thank god i showed your mom that study i guess, omfg". so like. i swear it helps. just. ALSO temper your expectations on how much it helps lol

if this is unsolicited and feels unwarranted, i apologize. im not good at reading tone in text, and just wanted to help. i hope this does help you out, you got this, i believe in you!!

Hey no worries, I appreciate you taking the time to type all this out. Recently (like, within the past one to two years or so) I’ve been more prone to bouts of restlessness and the fake sleeping is actually something I practice and it does help me most of the time. I think right now it’s more of a stress induced sort of thing more than anything that’s led to me having more trouble. Might just be one of those things I gotta wait out to be honest. When I do have a moment where I can’t sleep right it doesn’t last more than a few days normally so I don’t imagine this being different I hope. Maybe seeing a doctor would help but I’ll be honest there’s a probably a few things I should be seeing a doctor about and I just don’t have the money for that lol. But still like I said I appreciate you taking the time to try and help me out and offer some advice that’s very kind of you 🫶

[sunsetstarving]

ok so i think because of a lot of things all at once i am… slowly reentering my creative self and WOW it has been a wild few weeks just for that alone but anyway

have been playing So Much minecraft and reading marvel comics like that is pretty much my whole life rn (living the eight-year-old boy life i was meant to). and a lottt of my minecraft playing right now is just making a huge-normous map lmao (which, side note coral reefs my beloved wow boating over those at night makes me just like wow!! the world is beautiful!! and it is literally not even the world). but so last night honestly idk what nuerons fired but ig im making a world map for an.. entirely new world? and ofc thinking about life on that planet etc etc.

tl;dr i think im doing my own world building finally. but HOW do you not do all of it all at once. part of me is going “what if you just focused on Part of this planet” except i dont know if i can do it like that?? like instead of building the story out from a characters im finding it much easier to instead build the world around them first (thank you sims?? ig?? cannot ever play that game fully because i never know what to do after i finish building the house 💔). and then. play around w some people in this world like dolls or something until there is a story

unfortunately because of this i dont feel like i can go into one specific area of the map, like ursula leguin does (which, lets be honest, shes where this is all coming from). i am finding myself needing to know how planets are formed and how sun exposure changes climates over time and how tectonic plates move which i fully may never need for this in the end but i need to know it so that i can properly organize the climates and uh well. biomes for lack of better word lmao. but also at the same time im already figuring out the culture and its like… can i just focus on one at a time 🧍

and like. thinking about turning this into an actual story because i finally caught up on the penumbra podcast and i fear they have yet again rewired my brain or at least relit a flame. or like. the final domino fell? mixed metaphors something something a culmination of all the things ive been doing lead me to this moment

TL;DR (for real this time) my brain is going alllll over the place like a bajillion miles an hour in all directions and idk man i just wish i could simplify it all a little bit except that i am a detail hoarder and it all feels equally as important as the other thing so its just this big wall of Things how do you do it

ffs that is a whole essay rip bro 🫡

HELLO. it has been many weeks all i have to give u is a face reveal literally me after my physics exam ->

AHAHA WORLDBUILDING. U HAVE UNCOVERED THE GOLD MINE it's so much fun and so complex and so Much. in general. how is it going dude i love worldbuilding tell me about the biomes and tectonic plates literally any time... imo culture and climate affect each other equally in worldbuilding like you can go with vibes of the culture first and then build from there and keep going or u can start with the climate and go what kind of people would live here but usually it is Both at the Same Time and it is. it is a lot. i miss worldbuilding tbh dude this is FANTASTIC for you <3

[zombiepatch]

sorry for the weird ask but what do you say that about the podcast? haven't caught up with it in some time and now im wondering if i should at all 💀

late(ish) reply bc i struggled to figure out how to word this in a non-rambling manner (failed, ultimately lmao)

i will say, a lot of people liked s4, and there were things i had fun w/ too (smth the show has going for it is the sound design and presentation and that was top notch in s4), so i wouldn't say my own complaints would bother you as much or make it not worth listening to, just that... it might and it certainly irritated me personally to the point of dropping it.

the biggest thing that is especially apparent to me are how flat and unrealistic the side characters are. like, that's always been a problem in the show, but holy shiiiit dude. there's so much drama and angst surrounding arthur but all of these side characters, who could have their own complex motives and thoughts towards him, are like "no arthur is my special special boy. also i just met him" (oscar cough cough) and it's. well. it makes me want to rip my hair out. like i can say with absolute 100% certainty that if arthur were a woman everybody would be like "god, such a mary sue" but LOL

there's also the feeling that i have constantly with this show of just... diminishing returns for conflict and massive inconsistencies. in the beginning of the show, i was making theories and paying attention to cool little details, but after a while i gave up because i started to feel like... it was difficult to pinpoint what elements of the story mattered / actually stuck and what didn't. if that makes ANY sense ^^;

like, i've whined about this before, but i still can't get over how little impact survival cannibalism had on arthur's psyche. i was just kinda waiting for SOMETHING more there that never came. it really feels like it was just forgotten. like... partly this is a me thing bc i like cannibalism as a horror trope and was like "yessss <- freaks" but surely it's not wrong of me to expect the horror show to have more to say about the whole cannibalism thing that apparently happened 😭

frankly there's a lot more i could say about the show as a whole but this is already long and disjointed so i'm gonna stop there. there's a designated negative tag where people, much more eloquent than me, have spoken about their own issues with the show / the creator if you wanna look through any of those posts. there's also a whole blog dedicated to how weird the show is about women, which is a whole other rabbit hole i didn't even mention here.

in all, after all of that, i still like john and arthur as character concepts, so i have a weird ass relationship w/ this show where i'm a huge hater but also i'm taking these guys with me. dont worry guys i'll get you out of there. CERTAINLY not out of the horrors, that's what i came here for in the first place, but... out of canon ^^;

TO END THAT HERE'S SOME FANART I DID AND NEVER POSTED;

[c-53]

hey so, not starting shit, but why all the tma hate? i was an old casual fan, thought it was decent in terms of a different story and a podcast that wasnt essentially some movie without visuals- characters seemed interesting enough without being overly done. was it just the fandom that makes people hate it, like usual, or was it something else? is it because its british? not to put a spotlight on you but i think if i googled this i might not get a straight answer lmao- (also, not that my thinking it was a fun story means others should like it, but im getting at; i dont know whats wrong here. why is there such a violent hate for it suddenly?)

ok this is rambly bc my thoughts on the matter are disjointed, but. Tbh, i just thought it was mid! and. I dislike how overhyped and rabid the fans are. Its really just. Mid. Everything I liked about it has been done better by other podcasts but its still lauded as a peak of its form. I felt the story itself sort of suffocated it. It grew in scale and scope so so so much and so fast that it stopped being horror, and simply became a thriller, and then a suffering montage. Knowing the face of the horror, and the rules it plays by undermines horror, and thats exactly what the show became. I did not like it. but it never felt like an intentional genre change. Things continued as they were, but the small stakes were gone so it didn't hit as hard. And.... perhaps if they did change, they could have put more focus on the plotline of loss of humanity, which really really interested me, but. I don't remember liking how little they got into that either. It felt like a surface level exploration of becoming something Not Human.

But um. moving on. one of the biggest selling points people make for it, is how diverse it is, and. while it had rep, I really did not like it? Jonmartin felt forced for fan appeasement, and it felt obvious that the creators didn't understand the appeal of the ship and just wrote it generically sweet, which, don't blame them, i don't get the appeal either. and then theres the lesbian who's whole thing is that she loves police brutality so much that an entity grabbed her about it, and Melanie (who I wanna say is bisexual but I can't remember if thats fanon or not) who's basically a walking mexican/hispanic stereotype, and then theres the whole thing with the asian market ep that comes off as insanely racist, and. the fucking weird ass thing the fandom did where they took a white man's self insert and made him ambiguously brown to the degree that many people don't even know that he's a white man's self insert and will vehemently argue he's not white, and that he counts as representation?

I enjoy the first 2 seasons of TMA as a standalone thing, but hate the fans, and don't like what it shaped up to be, and that sort of compounds with the issues I have with it. but I don't know what issues other people have with it.