#i dont even know how to explain it but i do. i feel so connected hes become a cc so fast JSJSJDHKS

[autisticaradiamegido]

thoughts on dave and aradia (<>)?

day 356

BIG fan tbh. in this house we love and respect timerails

truly yall read this log and tell me theyre not cute

[deoidesign]

Someone killed my boss last night and he sent me this I'm so fired

god I can't wait to make this comic.

[bunnihearted]

being too weird and unlikable and off putting and always being shunned and turned into an outcast everywhere i go and not having felt the connection and healing friendship has on you for so many years has really done a number on me

[monards]

im a horrific and horrible impass in my rhinedottir career where i think of a post and need to go "okay so is this common knowledge, or just me thinking of it so immediately because of how focused on it i am, that it feels like common knowledge"

[ayyponine]

not to be a milennial but harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban really is that bitch....

[entering--hyperspace]

Its 2am, quick! Ramble some preliminary thoughts about Rytlock and Leo's relationship, spoiler alert! Its complicated!

I'm currently "going through" the personal story, and I was thinking about how...complicated Rytlock and Leo's relationship becomes especially as Rytlock Puts Himself Into Situations and that affecting a whole lot later into the story. I was talking to my friend about this. Heres the thing about these two,

They are not perfect for each other. This isn't a fairytale relationship, they arent destined lovers, they will never get a true domestic happy life together, and they could probably find people to fit them both better in the long run.

But, they were perfect for each other when they met.

Rytlock, punished for ambition, losing someone he cared about because of this, gaining a literal physical reminder of it, after he had just lost Destiny's edge. Blinded by glory, torn apart by loss, failure. He grew distant from his warband because the warmth of a flame was more enticing than the bonds of his past. He had no one, he was ignorant to the repeated life lessons, he was bored.

Leo, on the other hand, was a coiled snake ready to strike. He had ambitions of his own, he grew tired of constant death, reckless fighting. Spirits lamented over lost opportunity, of being playthings in wars fought by higher powers. He grew up in a land that was a physical cautionary tell of how single individuals could ruin the very souls and doom entire nations. Souls that cant rest, souls that cant return. It was Ascalon that inspired him to become a necromancer, to commune with spirits, to treat the dead with reverance, and thus respecting life before its final march. It did outcast him from his warband, save for a single individual.

When his warband died fighting due to carelessness on behalf of his legionnare, he still chose mercy, even in grief and anger he would not throw away lives as his people were so readily to do. He would show them all, he would show them there was a different way, that the road harder to travel on was a road worth walking if it meant preserving life. Others would see him as weak for this, but he had the confidence and skill to back it up his claims.

Perhaps it was the sharpness, the same cleverness that Rytlock admired in Crecia that drew him to Leo. I like that, honestly. Its a bit selfish, but Rytlock is a very selfish character for a while.

So he chose him, he could see his potential, he was amused, if anything, by someone with beliefs so different than anything they were raised to believe and was ready to challenge the very foundation they stood on. Speaking of, Leo challenged him in ways that surprised him, in ways that if Rytlock were anyone else Leo would have surely been deranked or snapped at for his boldness. He made him stop and consider, a unique viewpoint a fire that had lived for so long it became too strong to be snuffed out, that alone was impressive. Lmao, It's Leo constsntly challenging rytlock that draws him to Leo as well I think. Someone who will truthfully grab him by the ear and snap him back to his senses. On the other hand:

Leo wasn't ignorant of Rytlocks many prior transgressions and the blood most higher ranked charr spill to stand as tall as they do. He didn't think too highly of him before, but desperate times call for desperate measures. They were also, both, lonely. Rytlock appreciated having someone who he slowly crept into being a bit more of himself around, and Leo appreciated the opportunity of gaining his favor, as well as the acceptance of his beliefs. Rytlock understood climbing a steep hill with the people around pouring water down waiting for a slip. He's loyal above all else, he's similarly ambitious. Maybe Rytlock didnt necessarily Follow him exactly, but he didnt turn away or laugh in his face when Leo one night truthfully shared his plans. He simply told him it would be hard, but challenged him to pursue it. And, if anything, Leo's words actually affected him, he could see it slowly, that was enough for him, They were friends.

Physical attraction was there too, of course, that is admittedly a constant even before they become romantic. I see it at this point of maybe not being a thing of romantic bond, but rather of trust. But this is also normal and expected of charr. Friends with benefits, nothing more. But that more would come in later.

A chain is harder to break than a string, much harder. It weighs heavy, its cumbersome at times, but it holds things together quite well despite everything, despite "everything"

They are not a red string of fate, rather a forged red chain. Charr care a lot about loyalty, they care about loyalty in a way that I feel is hard to describe other than something deeply rooted in their culture thus hard to shake. During the time Leo and Rytlock spent together as Leo climbed the ranks and together they took on Ascalonian missions, sharing nights, swapping stories, sparring, challenging, they forged that bond. A bond between two people with no other options. They chose each other.

My memory of path of fire is, muddled, I'll get there when I get there. But what I know for sure is that what began of a romantic relationship would become quickly strained as the story goes on and it is revealed that everything occuring is due to Rytlock's recklessness.

Leo isn't the commander, Connie is, this almost makes it worse for them in a funny way. Leo would probably be more forgiving over his own death, but instead he is made to watch someone else die, he watches countless others die, all while knowing at night he shares a bed with the person at the root of it. But he doesnt leave, because theres always that chain, its backs turned to each other but still comforted by the warmth of another, even if their presence is denied. Im sure when i learn the details of it i can share more thoughts on them but ough.

When Leo does take on more commander-like duties and rytlock is still at his side, it becomes even more apparent how their relationship isnt as ideal as it could be in a perfect life. In a perfect life leo wouldve left everything to be with the olmakhan, to live a peaceful existence, to raise a family. Rytlock thinks of his cubs in a similar regard, Leo and Rytlock cant give that to each other, the world will not allow that of them both, especially leo, But they leave together with that knowledge.

Does this make sense? Idk, i hope so. The love is there, but there is an acceptance of the fact that there will always be a void that cant be filled. Perhaps there is a gentleness to them both that they treat each other with because of that fact and thats just how it is.

[netherdevil]

unnormal vivilly dweller thoughts in my head

[doctor-who-war-doctor]

After going to 5 productions of Punchdrunk/Emursive shows in the span of 14 months I finally got a 1:1! I remember going my first time being so scared of getting one thinking they would run up out of nowhere and grab me (yes I have anxiety)

But the last few times I've gone I've been trying to get one. I'll never forget the time I was following Sexy Witch; she looked me dead in the eyes and proceeded to sprint up 3 flights of stairs to her 1:1 room. I ran with her only to get cut off by someone at the last minute. Thats just how the show can be sometimes, I still love her.

Slight Spoiler Warning for L$T, I'll keep it breif and vague, no character names!

Moving onto my 2nd viewing of Life and Trust just a few days ago, I was following one of the many characters of the show and suddenly he asks for my hand! I eagerly take it and he sits me down and hands me some photos to look through. This was infront of a few people so I was very nervous. After writing down something I couldnt see in his journel he asks for the pictures back, puts everything away and leaves.

Now you'd think this is where my story ends but it gets better! I end up losing him but after a little frantic searching I found him. After a bit more following, some very wonderful scenes and beautiful choreography, he asks for my hand again.

I am shocked as I'm wearing a very distinct shirt so I know he knows he's choosing me again. Honored I take his hand once more and after some gentle guidance he leads me up the ledge he's on and takes me to a private 1:1 area. He performed an amazing monologue and leaves me with a parting gift before he guides me back to the public space again. We are alone and he says a few more things to me before he breaks away to contine his loop. I was and am in awe. Unfortunately I did not get to see the end of his loop as I lost him again, that's alright though, it was basically time for me to find another character to follow anyways :)

This is a very long winded way of saying thank you for making me feel special, thank you for being so gentle and making sure I was safe. Im so glad you were my first 1:1 it was at the level of intensity I was hoping for. I know you probably treat everyone that way and I'm glad you do because I can't wait to come back for more, I feel really confident about 1:1s now.

And yes this has sealed the deal for me. I love this show and I am absolutely itching to get back, darn my expensive hobbies!

[stunfiskz]

i really love these games a lot but this fandom is so stressful to me

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[lesbianpegbar]

sometimes i question whether or not i actually have autism since ive never been officially officially diagnosed and im like hmm youre not special youre just normal and your perception is warped. and then im put in a Situation and im like ohhhhhh nevermind

[subdueddoll]

... 📓🖊

[sereniv]

.

[bunnihearted]

🐰🕸🌙

[arolesbianism]

Thinks abt oni pmd au oh so hard. When you get a second chance at a relationship only to re experience drifting apart from them all over again

[autism-corner]

its easy to blame mental problems on yourself but the good thing is! it only takes one sentence for my mom to blow up and show me where i got it all =w=b