#i dont even believe in the christian god what am i doing here

[nyx-xp]

I am the reason that God no longer answers your prayers, for He fears what He created when I was born and I gained the ability to create and think. If I die neither Heaven nor Hell will accept my soul, for the atrocities I have committed with thoughts are too many to ignore, and my physical form shall remain, rotting with my essence and soul still inside. When this planet is destroyed, I will be the one behind it. When the Sun implodes, I will be in its center, shining just as bright with sin, a sin so damned and unholy the Universe it shall find difficult to behold, and I will laugh. Laugh as if nothing matters, because nothing will, for I have become too powerful, and the Devil himself trembles with my presence, as God and Heaven fall from grace and darken.

And at the center will be a single man, for he has forsaken me to this hell: Neil Gaiman.

[kpoppersblog]

I just found out that my mom has a jewish grandfather who has roots from germany making him as ashkenazi despite being born in the west indies.

since judaism comes from the mom, it doesnt really matter if she got it from her mom or dad does it ?? all that matters is that it comes from the moms side. if the mother has jewish roots from her side then that her kids r jewish. by those means im jewish ????

never knew i was a jew until the age of nearly 17 and I havent celebrated shabbat or read torah, traditions, explored judaism and no nothing, worn a kippah, did hanukkah candles, went to a synagogue (except on my school trip but I was still so young???), and more.

how the fuck like

im in so much shock like you mean to tell me i am a jew all this time ??? and the fact that my uncle explained the judaism line in our family aka his family. like the jewish side comes from my uncle and mom (since they r bothers and sisters since they were both born to my grandma which had my mom so its my moms brother) their side is the German side (ashkenazi) and my moms grandfather (my great grandfather) is a jew from germany. his mother is jewish and the judaism is only in the father’s side all the way to my mom passed my grandma making it my moms side of the family.

like. u mean to tell me. I am jewish ??? JEWISH ???? ALL THIS TIME ???

I asked her yesterday to make me and her do an ancestry test and find out what else is in our tree. I come from an extremely diverse background so I wouldnt be suprised if HALF the generation is a jew up until this point of the grandfather.

the fact it is from the father’s side only ????? like... I AM SO IN SHOCK ???

[vanweezer]

very very personal, just insight into where im at w my family and things that bother me/have encouraged me to move out

"i know youre moving out so im just gonna say no ones kicking you out and if you feel like this is something you have to do then ok"

thanks! i know im not being kicked out! but yknow i kinda yet a weird vibe when your out of touch husband takes me to a cemetery to yell at me, tell me im just like my father/dont give my father "the time of day", and that im "mean to people who care about me" in front of his dead mother's grave in a poor attempt at guilting me out of speaking my mind. but no yeah thanks for stating the fucking obvious that im leaving on my own terms

[rainingincale]

Should i just unfollow my ex-mp, because ngl I feel like im just torturing myself at this point

(Im seriously asking and you should tell me yes)

[mono-dot-jpeg]

inextricably bound - viktor, jayce

summary; stuck in a plane above all else but at least you're together

genre/extra tags; oneshot, fluff, bad jokes?, a dash of angst?, czech viktor, jayvik are canon fuck whatever christian linke was saying, just two bros being soulmates in every timeline and they're each others everything (but not in a gay way am i right chat /j), god forbid two dudes be canonically gay in every timeline, sorry im pissed off, im coping with jayvik being gone, OOC jayvik??, i dont know how to write for jayce well, jayvikreader poly sloppy toppy (jk), it's like implied that reader just got pulled in and doesn't know the dramatic moment they had n the astral plane before finally making up., headcanon that the astral plane is almost like being in limbo for death or reincarnation

[reader's gender not specified or mentioned]

word count; 808

a/n; can you tell im mad that there are jayvik non believers? like hate them all you want, but you can't just say that they were just bros and im glad most of the fandom can understand that. am i absolutely greedy for viktor? yes, but im not taking him away from his literal soulmate/twin flame/whatever the fuck gay shit they got going. also i feel like this isnt my best work but anyways enjoy :)

empty.

that's what being in the astral plane feels like. but it's calm. most of your body is engulfed the stars that you once looked up to. now you were part of that. not as a star but as a being. your face is illuminated a white gold shimmer.

"love?" a voice echoes and before you know it, two familiar faces are close to yours.

"vik? jayce?" your voice echoes in the listless space. and it's only then do you register how.. normal they look again.

despite the stars that cover their body and shimmering light of the ethereal, they look like themselves. it was the viktor and jayce you knew. your hands move, your body floating as you hold viktor's face.

"it's you. viktor.." the mentioned male looks at you, guilt and love in his eyes. jayce's hand rests on the small of his back, a silent encouragement for the shorter man. "it's you.." your voice trembles. viktor can't look you in the eye until jayce's hand gently nudges him, and it's only then that he sees the absolute love pouring from your eyes. "i should be more concerned that we're stuck here, but fuck.. i missed seeing you."

you can't exactly cry in the astral plane. your tears end up sparkling and twinkling away and become part of the galaxy you've been pulled into.

"miláček.." you don't even realize how much you've missed his normal voice until now. even if it did have that ethereal echo, it was still him. your viktor. your forehead presses against his for just a moment.

"you... i have a lot to say, but let me be happy for just a moment." viktor tenses at your words, but he relaxes in your touch. you pull away to give jayce the love you missed giving him.

"jayce.. you did so well. more than well. i don't know everything of what you experienced, but you never gave up. didn't know i could be more thankful for you." jayce smiles brightly at your words as you hold his face between his hands in appreciation.

he looks at you with that look he used to give you and viktor when things we once normal. that silly lovesick grin on his face, but you know he can't express how thankful he is for you and him. "i missed you so much, too. you have no idea." he said softly.

"now, with that out of the way, what exactly happened?" the two men look at each other before slowly explaining how everything started and ended with them. and they definitely ended it, seeing as they were taken here by the crystal that jayce held so dear to him. "but why am i here then? i mean, it makes sense for you two to be here. you're basically soulmates."

"don't say that, miláček. we love you too. whether you're in this timeline or not." viktor said gently, floating to you and holding you in his arms. "we won't allow you to think so lowly like that. especially when jayce is around. and especially because that line of thinking does not seem to do well for us. my insecurities blinded me to want to fix everything to a dangerous degree.." he confesses.

"you’re ours whether you like it or not. and it's not like we can find a way to leave here." jayce smiled softly, his large arms wrapped around yours and viktor's shoulders. he hugs you two close, not missing a moment to hold you both in his arms.

"i guess it was really meant to be when i said you're both stuck with me forever." you joked, kissing them on the cheek. "but we're really stuck here?"

after your kisses, viktor starts giving his share of kisses. "it would seem so. not that i'm complaining." jayce joins in on the sweet kissing session, making sure to give as much as he could before you or viktor start telling him to stop. echoing laughter rings out in the empty void. the cold of the astral plane could never make you shiver when you were with the men who did nothing but give you warmth.

"maybe we'll just reincarnate. do you believe in reincarnation?" you asked between kisses. they pause for a moment, contemplating your words.

"eh.. well, i'm sure it wouldn't be crazy to believe in reincarnation." viktor said with the slight tilt of his head, his look silently conveying his uncertainty but uncaring of it.

"if we do get reincarnated, i'll make sure to find you two before anything else." jayce whispered, his face firm with determination and love.

"that's so sweet. and sappy." you laughed lightheartedly.

the two men can't help but join in with their own laughter and just for a moment, the stars twinkle a little brighter as if joining in on the joy.

[apenitentialprayer]

i know that as a catholic you just have to believe with what the church says but i really dont like the belief of the original sin, i feel like its such a horrible thing to believe about yourself and about other human beings too

There are actually ways of legitimately dissenting from less essential Church teachings in a way that leaves you in good standing with the Church; I'm not sure if Original Sin is one of those things, though, to be honest.

But, anon, I'm going to offer another perspective here, starting from a quote (perhaps ironically?) from my favorite heretic. One of the things that James Carroll believes is that Original Sin has been given a bad wrap. In Constantine's Sword, he says:

I referred to Augustine’s assertion of the idea that the human condition implies a perennial state of finitude, weakness, and sin, all of which will be overcome, even for the Church, only with the end of time. [...] Augustine is thus regarded as the father of a severe, flesh-hating, sin-obsessed theology, but that dark characterization misses the point of his insight. His honest admission of the universality of human woundedness is a precondition for both self-acceptance and the forgiveness of the other, which for Augustine always involved the operation of God’s grace, God’s gift. Only humans capable of confronting the moral tragedy of existence, matched to God’s offer of repairing grace, are capable of community, and community is the antidote to human woundedness. Augustine sensed that relationship as being at the heart of God, and he saw it as being at the heart of human hope, too. This is a profoundly humane vision.

I wish I had understood the spirit of this quote when I was in high school. I remember learning in my World History class that Islam teaches that all children are born good, and then the world makes them evil. And I remember my teacher asking how that compares with Christianity, and I raised my hand and said that Christianity teaches that all of us are born evil. Because I believed that at the time. And, really, the whole framing of that question was wrong and gave really simplistic representations of what Islam and Christianity teaches, but I don't think we're alone in having internalized that understanding, anon. And that's a shame.

I thin it's important to remember the worldview that the doctrine of Original Sin is actively defending us against; there was an idea, that gets called "Pelagianism" (the poor guy it got named after may not even have believed it), that said that humans were capable of being saved on their own, by their own power. Someone on this site recently asked what people's thoughts on Pelagianism were, so you can read my thoughts here. But to keep it short and sweet, I think Original Sin is an important doctrine because it saves you from the need to be perfect.

There are ways to treat Original Sin that I think are certainly unhealthy, and I think the doctrine can be a source of anxiety and fear. But I also think, very deeply, that Original Sin should be a reason why we treat ourselves and especially our neighbor with kindness and understanding. I can look at myself and say "What I do, I do not understand. For I do not do what I want, but I do what I hate. […] For I do not do the good that I want, but I do the evil I do not want" (Romans 7:15, 19). And I can say that because I know I am ontologically wounded; that all of us have our weaknesses. That while we may still be in the moral wrong for committing a morally wrong action, our wills are compromised in a way that causes us to incline towards the comfortable and the easy rather than the good.

I wish I could go back in time and tell that class that Christianity does not teach that people are born evil. I wish I could go back and tell them that it teaches that we are born in a state of dis-integration, that we are wounded beings yearning for wholeness; alienated beings seeking everlasting belonging; beings lost in darkness, seeking the light. But I can say it now: the doctrine of Original Sin doesn't have to be an occasion to think you're depraved and without value, but it can be an invitation to come to terms with your own woundedness, because doing that (to use the words of Lutheran theologian Nancy Eiesland) "opens a space for the inflowing of grace and acceptance."

[utilitycaster]

I think in reference to your last post, BH fans are looking for a leftist power fantasy. I find the people who shat on C2 ending for being a "neo liberal mess because its 8 white people whocant be trusted" to sudden love BH and think these same 8 people are delivering this message. A messsage that has not been supported by the cast, the themes or the DM.

Some of the takes Ive seen since these final episodes have aired.

The world will have to listen to the people they didn’t want speaking.

But the world has been listening to them. Did they not stand in front of all Exandria and speak, gave their word layed their honour on killing predathos. Has Keyleth and other powerful npcs not listened to them? Who is stopping them from speaking?

matt is a leftist bc he was homeless, so the campaign abour that

I dont understand this take and anyone who spent anytime around real people know that 1 thing in your past doesnt shape your worldwide. Reminds me of ppl who brand themselves as X and filter shit they already liked and was going to do into a specific world view instead of really changing their habits.

Crowning jewel to support your point tho

Matt gave us a fantasy world and an oppressive setup and a button that does what a lot of us wish we could: pull the rug out from the entrenched, harmful Powers That Be & try for something better

Except, Matt nor c3 but in the work to show us an exandria as oppresive. The true powers that be are mortals, but BH dont seem to have a plan after the xampaign. You know putting the real work. Its like people crying about walkable neighbours but dont attend city planning meetings

Hey! So yes, all of these are true and are effectively what I've had in mind. I don't think it's worth coming up with new and creative ways to express my thoughts on the intelligence of these people again, only to reiterate that the issue is not that Campaign 3 subverts Campaigns 1 and 2 but rather expects the paradigms of those campaigns to be subverted without doing any of the work to actually do so - we have seen a single case of Vasselheim colonization that was oddly bloodless itself (the ley line nexus swap probably killed more residents of Hearthdell than the missionaries did until the town rebelled and attacked them - hold that thought) and has been treated as a widespread phenomenon with no outside evidence. People have started to point to Abbadina as being unfairly maligned despite Laudna calling the people there ignorant and entire situation a "pissant town in a pissant squabble" (3x61, around 3:40:00) and Abbadina saying herself she believes morality is innate (3x61, around 3:57:00), and, perhaps most damningly, the fact that Abbadina is, as a former Hishari member, undeniably complicit in the trajectory of Ashton's life for which they keep blaming the gods, because they refuse to blame their parents. Fitting, frankly, given that the fans doing this are the ones who have the unmitigated gall to demand strangers forgive Liliana in honor of their own parents in southern Christian cults without any self-awareness of the optics here. The widespread oppression they claim Bells Hells to be stopping has failed to be adequately outlined by the text, and I (and I think many others) believe myself to be more knowledgeable and intelligent than these people, so at this point it's like, either provide a well-crafted counterargument or shut up because I am unmoved by any personal attack.

We are dealing with fans who are devoid of empathy for anyone unlike them. I find it difficult to look at their ongoing derision, as white Americans raised Christian, towards so many fans who speak of colonialism as a tool to destroy their culture, religion included, and come to any other conclusion. They are so obsessed with defending their statement that the campaign they started watching before the moon plot was even revealed has suddenly conveniently taken on the current performative cause celebre buzzwords in their do-nothing social circles that they will gleefully mock the colonized to do so. No wonder they relate to this party of people whose main response to gaining power is to be a petty dick to people who haven't done anything unwarranted. No wonder they keep claiming the people they point a gun at are unspeakably corrupt for acting angry and frightened in response - for accusing people of the sin of wanting not to die when they want them to die.

I don't think they care about people or causes; they care about being seen as someone who cares about causes. They push the idea of automatically being leftist because of one's circumstances because then they do not need to make an effort, being (for the most part) queer and neurodivergent. However, this is the queer neurodivergent site so while those are obviously oppressed groups in the real world if you want to play oppression olympics in this space you're playing with about the same hand everyone else was dealt, and while no group is monolithic in their beliefs, there are queer neurodivergent nonwhite or non-christian or both people in the fandom who find Bells Hells to be entitled, small-minded bullies and those people are, again, targeted and mocked. It's not about belonging to an oppressed group unless you can be used to center the white ex-Christian who's furious that you exist as a reminder that they are not the greatest victim of Christianity and see you as an inconvenience to ridicule in the hopes you'll disappear.

I've been chipping away at some postcolonial texts myself, as someone who is admittedly not an expert in the topic, but I was struck by this quote from bell hooks (taken from the discussion of the subaltern on Wikipedia, but I've ordered the book it's from):

"[There is] no need to hear your [native] voice, when I can talk about you better than you can speak about yourself. No need to hear your voice. Only tell me about your pain. I want to know your story. And then I will tell it back to you in a new way. Tell it back to you in such a way that it has become mine, my own. Re-writing you, I write myself anew. I am still author, authority. I am still [the] colonizer, the speaking subject, and you are now at the center of my talk."

I don't think the cast are deliberately making an anticolonial or leftist work - I think it's just kind of a mess that has stumbled into a semi-interesting worldstate with a generally selfish group of PCs that people are reading their small and petty desires into- but if they were (and certainly if they themselves claim to be doing so), I'd have to say that quote applies. I certainly think it's applying to the fans. An Autism Speaks approach to colonialism, one might say. The reason those fans following Critical Role are here looking for that story and not an actual play with people from colonized countries is because Critical Role has a larger fandom and gives them more attention and permits them to be author and authority. Hypocrites and posers to the end. And yeah, they have no plans for a better world in Exandria or real life. That takes thought, and work, and that's for the people they spend their time jeering at.

[millytherat]

Reading through @badaziraphaletakes inspired me to make a post about reasons:

Why people tend to choose Crowley of Aziraphale, and, consequently, think Aziraphale is bad

This might be a long post, i'll cover some topics and i might get all over the place at some point! But please be patient! Can i get into it?

Inversion of values

When first watching Good Omens, you might expect a strong inversion of values, that Heaven is bad and Hell is good, angels are the oppresors and demons the victims

It is mostly religiously (religious trauma) motivated, aka "christianity is a fucking bullshit" motivated, to expect seeing the ones who calls themselfs good (Heaven, who we interpret as Christian religious figures) be actually bad (wich, in real life, they tend to be) and, the ones they cast out as evil and sinful (Hell, wich we interpret in this case as anyone the church calls sinful, like the queer comunity) to be good and innocent and just different, it makes us feel emphatic for them, even seeing that they are, indeed, bad

I believe some people just dont want to accept it, they want to believe the angels are inherently bad and the demons just questioned their bad ways

But they arent, if anything ALL angels and demons are naturally good and innocent, "oh but Gabriel!" He was naturally good, we saw it, the same with Michael and Uriel too, they're all just tainted by the strong grip Heaven demands for them to have; in episode 1 season 2, we see both Crowley (as starmaker) and Aziraphale being totally innocent and adorable, they're good by nature, no one in the story is actually evil

When this inversion of values we wish for isnt fulfilled, it might cause an annoyance, i know a lot of people who dont accept it, and just make it up because... well is expected!

Queerness

This was originally taken from a post of "Bad Aziraphale Takes"

Crowley is "more queer" than Aziraphale, at least thats how people see it as, in fics too, how many times Crowley gender is explored, with pronouns and labels and identities? While the more i saw for Aziraphale was a vulva or they/them pronouns, and never in a human au! Aziraphale is depicted and seem as a cisgender male

I have seem even people saying Aziraphale have internalized homophobia! I- how??

Found them! @theelastword made an ask on the "bad Aziraphale takes" blog that inspired this bit <3 thank you love

Need for a villain and favorites

As we saw, people that hate Aziraphale choose to see Heaven as evil, as the villain, and that is also followed by many people who dont hate Aziraphale! Well, might i say that... we dont have a real villain in Good Omens? The angels arent evil for wishing to follow what they believe to be God's plan, nor for deminishing humanity- but i'm getting ahead of myself here!

The need to see Heaven as inhetently bad, the big bad villain, makes people see Aziraphale, going back there "freely", hurting Crowley's feelings, saying Hell/demons are the bad guys (wich they ARE?? There is not an inversion of values!) As him being evil, as him going to the side of the villain instesd of choosing Crowley, going back to CROWLEY'S abusers, not his, not theirs, Crowley

I do believe humans have a natural need to have favorites, when you're a kid is always "wich caracther of this cartoon am i?" and later is always "wich do i relate to more? Wich do i like more?", and people choose Crowley for all those reasons above and probally some personal ones too

So! As a small conclusion:

People choose to prefer Crowley, they choose to see Crowley as better because he's a "good demon", he's the victim that fell from Heaven and hates Hell, he's the queer caracther, he's kind and genuine and helps Aziraphale and have a car he loves

Because of the idea that Aziraphale is: A) opposite to Crowley; B) an Angel! (The abusers! The bad guys! The evil!); C) a BAD angel for that matter, he's selfish and mundane and comes across as rude to Crowley (because he acts so fucking autistic too!); people tend to DISLIKE Aziraphale, small simple minded people, but people nonetheless

I know the whole post is a bit over the place, it might sound confusing here and there, but i really wanted to put all this together to try and understand why people hate Aziraphale

I though maybe this can give a small input on why people think like that, it sures helps me to understand how they think that and what they mean by their terrible takes! I guess is mostly them being naive

Oh! You know how in the 2000's the media was demonizing femininity by having blond, pink, feminine villains in their high school romances? How we, to this day, tend to see feminine girls as fake, vulgar, naive, etc? How most teen girls go through a "not like other girls phase" because of that?

Same principle! Is the same reason for why they see Heaven and Aziraphale as evil

I hope someone can appreciate this lil silly thoughs put together <3

[liesinmyeyes]

hey, so I'm a new pagan witch and one who has barely practiced anything yet/ has only like 10 pages filled in their book of shadows

i am seeking advice on what to do with myself and my craft and practices, or just hoping someone has felt/currently feels the same way I do because I'm the only pagan witch I know irl and have no one to tell this to.

practicing witchcraft makes me anxious? I haven't really done anything aside from wearing crystal necklaces and sleeping with an amethyst below my pillow, but i'm lowkey afraid to do much more than that because whenever I do research across the internet (don't worry, I don't only take one pinterest source at face value, I make sure to look at other sources on the internet and always check with multiple witchy forums/threads or just simply history sources if the practice is closed/appropriated or should be done as a beginner) - but here is my issue. There's soooo many sources on the internet that tell you so many differing opinions. Some sources will say "NO WAY DON'T EVER DO THAT" while others will go "it's okay and totally safe". I haven't ever read a book abt witchcraft because I know how much TERF-y and culturally appropriate-y agendas they have and the amount of misinformation in a lot of them. I almost got radicalized once before and I told myself "never again", so i'm too afraid to pick up a book half the witches praise for being so good and accurate and half condemn for including TERF bs. I know I should form my own opinions on magic(k) and how I percieve witchcraft but i just get this BOUT of anxiety whenever I see a post anywhere on the internet saying "DONT EVER DO THAT AS A WITCH" or something along those lines... i can never tell what's just gatekeepy fear-mongering and what's an actual closed/dangerous practice anymore and it makes me too afraid to pursue anything because I fear bad things happening to me more than anything. I think it's a side effect of my neurodivergent self wanting to be told exactly what I can and can't do (considering my ethnic identity) and how and when to do it, what moral code to abide by, which is a tough ask in something like witchcraft.

i often feel swayed and get these bouts of guilt for NOT being christian. I grew up areligious in a very christian country with an added sprinkle of shaming people for being religious (which i dont agree with obvs). When I was agnostic and not giving any thought to religion at all, it was fine and dandy. But now that I identify myself as a pagan who worships the greek gods, I often feel, idk, ashamed of it? I'm friends with some very devout christian gals and whenever they talk about going to church or getting their sins forgiven I just feel so guilty and kind of like I'm sinning myself. I feel like I shouldn't be believing in the Gods and should be christian instead, even though SO many of my world views don't align with christianity's teachings and frankly, I don't want to be christian? I want the Gods to be real and I want to worship them. But I often doubt my faith in them and feel the guilt of not being christian like everyone else in my country. Is this a faith issue? On some days I won't doubt the Gods existing at all and feel all happy and uplifted and sure in my faith and on other days I'll be sitting around all day, questioning all my morals and beliefs and questioning whether I'm going to hell for praying to the greek gods. Maybe it's because of all my sorroundings (multiple churches in my town, Jesus statues everywhere, very christian friends) that I feel that way, but if anyone could tell me how to stop these thoughts I'd give ANYTHING to do that. (Not that there's anything wrong with christianity or finding comfort in it, its just that whenever I think about it I get anxious because the concept of eternal torture just for enjoying life on earth scares me. On the other hand, I DO find comfort in worshiping the greek gods. I feel more beautiful, inspired to write, so on and so forth...)

[meadowdaydreams]

Keep scrolling to avoid my negativity...

I dont know how to unlearn what I've been taught in the past 2 years. I don't want to feel and think my worth is tied to my physical appearance anymore. I want to go back to when I believed I was lovable the way I am and when i knew my worth wasn't tied to anything to do with my looks. How do I win this never-ending battle?

I know I sound like a broken record on here... but this is so exhausting. I literally just want to feel comfortable existing and be able to focus on following God and being a good person and a good mother. I don't want to care about all this worldly bullcrap but it feels like a need for survival.

I feel weak and stupid for the way I am now, like I failed a trial God allowed to come my way. I should've somehow not been affected by my husband's sick mind and actions. Logically I know what's true so why can't I convince myself of what i once fully knew and lived out? I don't understand what's happened to me and I don't know how to fix it. I'm in a church group for women that are going through the same thing and it's been very validating but I can't help but think, how is this going to actually solve anything? Is this really just the way my life is going to be until death?

Leaving my marriage feels pointless because I've been told again and again by everyone, "all men lust after other women". They say it so lightly like it's not a big deal. Am I too sensitive? Or are they not realizing what they're saying? Because when they say that I hear, "all men want to get off to / have sex with other women even if they're in a relationship". How is that so normalized? I don't want to be with a man that wants other women sexually whether it's physical cheating or "just fantasies". Is it impossible for a man to be 100% faithful and loyal to his wife? I know it's possible for women and all men I've told this to pretty much laugh and don't believe it. Even devoutely Christian men I've spoken with say I have impossible standards for a husband and that I'll never have a "perfect" husband. I DONT WANT A PERFECT HUSBAND! I JUST WANT HIM TO LOVE ME AND BE FAITHFUL!!!!!!???!!! How is that asking for too much? Is that not bear minimum????

I despise my hopes and dreams now. All I wanted was a husband to love and for him to love me back and to have a nice family. But apparently that's asking for too much. Oh well I guess. Who needs that anyway? Apparently I don't.

Oh and while I'm at it...

I'm angry at God for allowing this. I know He knows better than me but the Bible says "ask and you shall receive" if it's according to His will. Well before I married, I prayed to not let me be decieved by the man I was soon to be married to. I prayed a lot more about marriage than that but that part has been stuck in my mind... because God let me be deceived. I trusted God fully and thought he would protect me and guide me. I thought all the signs pointed to this man being the "right" one. So now I feel like God doesn't care at all about my temporary life here on earth.

Guys I'm so tired. To make it through each day I pretty much have to intentionally make myself dead inside so the pain and grief won't kill me. I hate it because it's making me feel heartless and cold but I can't afford to be too depressed to get out of bed anymore. My job is on the line now. My whole life feels like a cage that I just can't escape from.

Anways, just ignore my vent and sorry if you read this.

[little-cirrus-fibratus]

Psychosis and religion: don't dismiss psychotic people's religious beliefs

Tw: mentions of christianity and atheism and religious psychosis

I encourage discussion and please add on your experience or your thoughts but remember to be kind, if I said something wrong please correct me in a civil way, I know that I don't do and say everything right, and am eager to learn.

I am religious, and I want to study theology and become a priest (I know a lot of folks have religious trauma but remember not all religious people are like the religious people who hurt you, give me a chance) and my biggest fear is that people will not want to listen to me or will dismiss my religious beliefs because I have schizophrenia, or that people will think that my beliefs are due to my psychosis or that they'll use my psychosis against me or believe me less. Most folks here seem to have trauma from christianity, I though have bad experiences with atheism (i dont know if i have the right to call it trauma). The people I grew up with would literally say that religious people were just psychotic or delusional (which was the wrong use of the word, which is using the words "psychotic" or "delusional" as derogatory terms which stigmatises actually psychotic people) and the people I grew up with would often use my psychosis against me. And also the atheists i grew up with would have what I call "atheist superiority complex" where they would express that they were superior or more intelligent than religious people simply because they were atheist (not all atheists are like that). My psychosis was used against me and my religious beliefs.

Psychotic people have a right to religion just as much as any other person, and each psychotic person just like any other person have formed their beliefs in their own way, they have their own spiritual experiences and their own (valid) reasons to believing what they believe.

And for some reason people assume that when you're psychotic and religious that your psychosis must be religious psychosis. But as an example my psychosis doesn't evolve around my religion at all. Honestly I feel most detached from God when I am psychotic, to me my psychosis is a godforsaken place. BUT even if you do have religious psychosis you still have the right to religion, even if your religious beliefs were formed by your psychosis. Because religious beliefs are formed by YOUR life experience, and YOUR spiritual experience and if you're a person who experiences psychosis, psychosis is part of your life experience.

If you are psychotic and religious your religious beliefs are valid.

[guiltywisdom]

I dont want to burden you with unweildy, personal questions, but i respecr your opinion a lot and think you have good thoughts. (Sorry this is gonna be kinda long, feel free to ignore it (though i ask you dont block me based on this ask bc i love your blog))

Christianity is a faith a care for deeply and feel deeply cared for, especially Catholicism, which i feel connects me to my mother and her family, especially my late grandmother. I love Christian thought, Christian activism, Christian theology, Christian prayer, the whole lot. There are few times i feel more comfort in the world than when im praying a Rosary.

The problem is, i converted to paganism back when i was a child. Im a pan/omnitheist- whatever the one that means you believe all gods exist. And i still feel deeply connected to my faith as a pagan, even as I've shifted pantheons to worship over the years (going from one of/eclectic to Hellenic to Kemetic to Hellenic to settling on Norse.) There's nothing in my soul that feels wrong or stifled when i pray to my gods, ot in fact brings me a great deal of comfort and joy and i feel has helped me deal with a lot of issues in my life.

I still love God, i WANT to love God, and i feel so much love and happiness when i pray to God. But i also feel super conflicted and gross because i know im still pagan at the end of the day. I can't make myself stop believing in my other gods.

So my question is, finally, how would you reconcile these feelings? What am i meant to do with these wack emotions?

I have a friend who's an Omnist and I respect his belief in that and in anyone who wishes to believe. I respect all faiths and support people in those faiths but Christianity is a monotheist religion; the first commandment was to have no other God's besides the Lord and that commandment is echoed over and over again in the scriptures and the words of the church fathers.

I think you have two options here, accept that you are a pagan/omnist and move past those conflicted feelings or accept that the Lord commanded us to only have faith in Him. Honestly my dear sibling in Christ, I don't think I'm the one to decide for you which of those is best for you. You have to figure out what kind of person you are and what you truly believe in your heart to be right; you need to come to terms with these feelings and face then head on. No matter which road you go down remember that I and the Lord do love you dearly.

[apollons-solskinn]

i've been thinking about norse paganism a lot lately (i think norse is the right english word). and i want to try to put all these thoughts into words. this will be a little bit all over the place; a vent post, if you will (or tankekjør, as we say)

sometimes i feel like i should worship these gods and not the hellenic ones, like i'm doing something wrong by worshipping gods that are essentially foreign; i live in norway and grew up learning about the norse gods. i believe in them too, in the same way i believe in the hellenic gods. but i've never felt drawn to them in the same way.

i've felt drawn to Apollo since i first learned about greek mythology in middle school, and that pull has only grown stronger as i've grown older. i feel right worshipping the hellenic gods.

it doesn't feel disrespectful to the norse gods necessarily. i acknowledge them and the fact that i live where they've been worshipped; i grew up in a christian family, but always aware of them. it feels almost matter of fact, that they surround me and have for my whole life. even if i do not directly worship the norse gods, i know they affect my life and the world around me. and i dont know if im doing wrong by dedicating myself to what are essentially foreign gods, while living in the land of and breathing the air of the norse gods.

in the same way, i believe in things such as house spirits as they are in hellenism; but i do not believe that they are here, where i live, because i also grew up with norwegian folk tales/mythology and believe that the house spirits we have (hus/fjøsnisse) are here.

it's a sort of mixing and matching of beliefs that i am uncertain if are disrespectful to any of my deities, or to the religions as a whole.

idk where i was going with this exactly. just thinking out loud, i guess. i want to try and see if i can find any hellenic polytheist communities in norway, or norwegian hellenic polytheists in general, who might have thoughts about this too.

[mydarlingdahlia]

Warning : a rant about religion/religious stuff below, read with that in mind.

I’m tired of seeing people on TikTok (or any other social media platform, really) put down or berate others for their opinions or beliefs.

For example…

I saw an innocent video of a girl reading some scripture from her Bible and just talking about a dream she had. Not harming anyone, right? Apparently not…

I can’t tell you how many comments I saw of people from other religions putting her down and just flat out making fun of her belief. As a Christian, it did hurt seeing my faith being treated the way it was in that comment section.

But, here’s another example…

I saw another video of this girl showing off some of her crystals and tapestries that she had gotten, and I thought they looked neat! I liked the video, and went to leave a comment about where she got them, when I saw some other messages.

Basically to sum up what they were saying is that if she kept doing the blasphemous things she was doing she’d go to hell, and other hateful things.

It also hurt seeing her being put down/being for her opinions/beliefs, when she wasn’t even doing anything wrong or hurtful to another religion!

DONT 👏 PUT 👏 OTHERS 👏 DOWN 👏 FOR 👏 THEIR 👏 OPINIONS 👏 OR 👏 BELIEFS👏 OR 👏 RELIGION👏

STOP IT.

It’s rude. And you aren’t “saving” anyone by doing it either.

The same things goes for people who flat out just make videos hurtfully ridiculing a comment or person for their own religion. (Not just Christians or Satanists.)

Also…

STOP 👏 SPREADING 👏 MISINFORMATION 👏 ABOUT 👏 OTHER 👏 RELIGIONS 👏 OR👏 WAYS 👏 OF 👏 LIFE👏

Being a Satanist or an Atheist doesn’t make someone a devil worshipper. If someone is a Satanist, it doesn’t mean they’re in a cult. It simply means they worship mainly themselves or act as their own god. (Which isn’t right in my opinion, but who am I to tell them what to do?)

If someone is an Atheist, that doesn’t make them anymore wayward than the rest of us. They may not worship the Lord, but that doesn’t mean we should treat them like dirt or anything less than a human being.

Same thing goes for any other religion.

I have friends that come for other religions, and they’re some of the nicest/awesome people I’ve met! Sure, we don’t see eye to eye on a few things, but that’s okay! It doesn’t mean I should end a relationship over a little disagreement.

Also, I’ve also seen some controversial takes on people of the LGBTQIA+ community, and as a Christian, it intrigues me to listen to them, as I am a member of that community.

I’ve heard some people say that all who are apart of or even support the LGBTQIA+ community should go to hell, which I think is a bit rash. I’ve also seen people who say they just need forgiveness, but I’m curious, what do they need to be forgiven of?

I know in the Bible it says homosexuality is a sin, but ever since humanity fell, we’ve been stuck in sin’s (or the devil’s) trap, and I believe we won’t be able to get out of said trap until Jesus comes back. (The Rapture, The Second Coming, call it what you like.)

I can’t help the way I am, and you can’t just convert me to become straight just like that. I am very happy with Mia, and she is with me, and there is no way I’d leave her, for any faith.

And you know what, I respect your opinion if you think I’m wrong. I won’t say anything against it. Wanna know why? I’ve been taught and brought up my whole life to be kind to others, even if they don’t deserve it. And yes, I forget that sometimes, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be respectful towards them.

Especially if it’s about their beliefs or religion.

So, say it with me.

I will love and respect all of my witch, celestial, and earthy girlies/fellas, even if we don’t see eye to eye.

I will love and respect all of my Christian girlies/fellas, even if we don’t see eye to eye.

I will love and respect all of my Atheist girlies/fellas, even if we don’t see eye to eye.

I will love and respect all of my Satanist girlies/fellas, even if we don’t see eye to eye.

I will love and respect all of my Hindu girlies/fellas, even if we don’t see eye to eye.

I will love and respect all of my Islamic girlies/fellas, even if we don’t see eye to eye.

I will love and respect all of my Buddhist girlies/fellas, even if we don’t see eye to eye.

I will love and respect people regardless of their religion, beliefs, or opinions, even if we don’t see eye to eye.

See, that’s not so hard is it?

Treat people how you’d wanna be treated. Give respect, get respect.

[quinnonimp]

Please tell us more about your tntduo priest/vampire fic I am literally begging you

SORRY THIS IS SO FUCKING LATE LMFAO I NEVER CHECK MY INBOX i rly need to check more often i have so many asks fuck

but aaaa im so glad u wanna know more 👉👈

for once i dont rly have super many thoughts abt an au ? tbh ? like its been very difficult for me to come up with ideas since i dont know that much abt vampires n i dont know that much abt catholicism/christianity

a little of what ive had in mind so far though is cwil is this very lonely priest with no family left who took over the church for his late father - but doesnt actually believe in god all that much, just pretends for the sake of keeping something

then one night some mysterious guy shows up near closing hours and wilbur is already pretty scared for no other reason than just the vibes . they dont talk but after a while of wil staring the pretty guy just gives him a big smile and leaves

the mysterious guy is vampire cquackity, hes just here cause he was hiding away from a hunter (probably ctechno filling this role)

in this universe vampires arent particularly affected by religion itself but just weakened by faith . quackity couldnt feel anything coming from the church, so he assumed it was empty since it was late anyway . turns out there is someone there ! but it doesnt effect him, and quackity realizes the priest himself has no faith, and becomes very interested

because of this new found fascination quackity decides to come back at a similar hour every day, and luckily for him barely anyone is there on weekdays/past 6pm, so he doesnt have to worry about being weakened (and especially not for hunters since they wouldnt expect a vampire to be in a church) . wilbur and him still havent talked but quackity still has fun observing his behaviour, and wilbur just feels a teensy bit less lonely having someone come back so consistently and every single day while he closes

one day however when wilbur decides hes finally gonna talk to this guy, quackity isnt there, and wilburs so confused as to why he feels so sad about it . why does he miss the presence of this stranger hes never even talked to ? he spends the whole rest of the night distracted thinking about the mysterious guy

the next day at around 3-4am when wilbur enters the church to start his day, he sees the presence he missed so much yesterday

though wilburs not as happy as he should be, as the stranger is covered in blood next to a corpse and about to jump him

so yea idk ive been trying to work on the fic, hopefully i actually manage to get smth cool outta it and post it but we'll see !! for now im just drawing the blorbos

if anyone has extra ideas n whatnot or wanna ask more abt the au feel welcome to do so, i cant promise ill be very interesting but i will be very glad to answer lmao

[clownrecess]

As an autistic individual myself, I am interested in the intersection of neurodiversity and various identities.

You've mentioned that you identify as a Norse Pagan. I'm curious about how your spiritual beliefs intersect with your neurodivergent experience. Do you find that your autistic identity informs or impacts your spiritual practice in any way?

(Tw for discussions of trauma, religion, etc.)

Sorry for the late-ish response! I've been working on this post a little everyday to make sure I write it how I want it.

I dont think that my autism has impacted my religion or spirtual experiences/beliefs, but my brain as a whole does. (Update: It actually did influence it quite a bit. I'm realizing this after writing this post. So, uh, thank you for helping me realize something that I find quite interesting!)

When I was a kid, I was raised in christianity. I was very religious. I prayed everyday, I had a cross in my room, etc.

But heres the thing: I have OCD. A few different types, but out of those, one of them is religious OCD.

Most of my praying ages late 8-12 was done purely out of fear. At that point I wasnt even really a Christian, I was just really afraid, which really impacted how I viewed religion. I HATED conversation about it because it felt scary and icky to me.

I didn't understand why people would ever want to talk about it. It felt like a very private topic for me, so I figured people who go out of their way to talk about it must be trying to get extra "good points" with god (maybe that bit was caused by autism, actually.).

During that time, I would go through little phases of a month or so at a time in which I would try to "swing the opposite direction". This was around age 10-11. I was developing an intense anger toward the church, and I just wanted to be the opposite of they were, whatever that meant. Because I didn't want to think about religion (due to anxiety around it), I really didn't know what many religious labels actually meant because researching them made me very uncomfortable, so I briefly identified as a satanist (this would be on and off during ages 10-11.) despite really not knowing what that meant. I think I just wanted a way to separate myself from the church as much as possible.

A few months after I turned 12, I felt a really strong urge to research paganism out of nowhere (I didnt even know what "pagan" meant, I just suddenly felt the need to know things about it. It was very random.). It started sort of as a special interest (Maybe autism did influence me more than I thought! Interesting.), and so I would look into a lot of different branches of paganism, focusing most of my research around hellenistic paganism.

A few weeks after this, I had a very interesting experience which I now believe to have been a sign from Freyja (I dont want to go into specifics. It was personal and I want to keep that special to me. I might later, but for now it's just mine. Just know it was a very beautiful thing from her.). DIRECTLY following this event (Maybe an hour or two later), I felt another urge to research things, but this time to be looking into the Norse Gods/Goddesses (which I'd never even heard of at that point.).

At that point I ended up converting to paganism. It was an extremely sudden decision, but it made sense to me.

No matter what religion I had been apart of before, I always felt anxiety and guilt, causing me to try and fix things by becoming excessively religious again in a Christian way. But from the moment I became pagan, I just never had that ever again. It's been the only religion I've ever felt fully safe in.

It's obviously been quite a while since then, and I'm obviously still a Norse Pagan.

Whilst I now love all the gods and goddesses, Freyja will always be especially special to me.

At this point I have worked with: Freyja, Loki, Odin, Beyla, and Njord.

Now, I also think its important to mention another part of my brain that impacts my religious experience: I am in a system.

Nearly all of us identify as Norse Pagans, but we have a few Agnostics as well, a few Eclectic Pagans, an Atheistic Satanist, and a Theistic Satanist.

The primary religious identity within our system is Norse Paganism, with the majority of individuals identifying as followers of this belief system. Due to this, we say we are a Norse Pagan! We are also okay with just being called "Pagan" on it's own, though.