#i dont even believe in the christian god what am i doing here

[nyx-xp]

I am the reason that God no longer answers your prayers, for He fears what He created when I was born and I gained the ability to create and think. If I die neither Heaven nor Hell will accept my soul, for the atrocities I have committed with thoughts are too many to ignore, and my physical form shall remain, rotting with my essence and soul still inside. When this planet is destroyed, I will be the one behind it. When the Sun implodes, I will be in its center, shining just as bright with sin, a sin so damned and unholy the Universe it shall find difficult to behold, and I will laugh. Laugh as if nothing matters, because nothing will, for I have become too powerful, and the Devil himself trembles with my presence, as God and Heaven fall from grace and darken.

And at the center will be a single man, for he has forsaken me to this hell: Neil Gaiman.

[caraphernellie]

THANK YOU FOR THE VENOM.

bible study, with a twist.

preacher!ellie williams x religious!fem!reader.

𝐆𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐌𝐄 𝐀 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐎𝐍 𝐓𝐎 𝐁𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐄𝐕𝐄! Suffocating in a small religious town, drowning in your own misery, your own thoughts in which you were led to believe are dirty, disgraceful, unholy - where else can you turn for support other than the church? Where else would you want to turn to, when Ellie Williams, so knowledgeable of the beliefs and teachings of the church, is there to take care of you?

INCLUDING... preacher!ellie , fem!reader , religious imagery/references , internalised homophobia (both e and r) , christianity/catholicism , she is so blinded by internalised homophobia , dom!ellie , oral(r!receiving) , fingering(r!receiving) , tribbing , virgin!reader but not innocent , ellie’s actually nice and has good intentions she’s just clouded by religious trauma , sinning , definitely ooc but i tried to make it as 'ellie' as possible , use of pet names : sweet girl , sweetheart , angel , good girl , cutie.

𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐑 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑, oh god please don’t hate on me for this 🙏 here’s preacher!ellie. don’t come at me i have religious trauma and am also a big mcr fan so obviously. i am so nervous to post this. i cannot stress enough if this is not ur thing do not read it lmfao. closing my eyes and posting this i wrote it ages ago i dont even remember what it goes like ive been too shy to post it. UPDATE NINE MONTHS LATER: i hate this fic, i won't lie to you. i would rewrite it, but honestly, nah... it doesn't need a comeback. part two is privates because i hate it even more.

WC: 3.7K | ELLIE'S MASTERLIST | BOYCOTT TLOU

“you are aware of the three hail mary devotion?”

ellie looks down at you, kneeling before her by the altar. there’s something unreadable in her gaze. though she looks utterly sympathetic.

“each day, you can seek guidance from the lord by honouring the blessed virgin mary, and you will say three hail marys. you’ll begin each day with a saying.” ellie clears her throat, her gaze unwavering. not even a blink, eyes green as ivy almost sickening you. “i do this everyday myself. ‘o my mother, preserve me this day from mortal sin.’”

“thank you, ellie.”

“you understand that i can’t speak to the lord on your behalf. i am simply the preacher, i am here to provide you comfort and guidance. and i do promise you, if you continue to repent for your sins, god will always forgive. there will always be a spot for you in heaven should you continue to do the right thing. you can acknowledge that these… thoughts… are unholy.”

perhaps there was a reason, that instead of taking yourself to confession, you sought ellie out to ask for guidance, though leaving out a crucial detail. she is the object of your thoughts.

“if it consoles you,” ellie starts, “i have struggled with thoughts of this nature too.”

and like a record screeching, you pause, looking up at the woman. and what a woman she is – black turtleneck, which doesn’t at all hide toned muscles you wish you could see. black slacks, brown boots. shoulder length, auburn hair, and a freckled complexion. she is so respected amongst the members of the parish, always living her life in the holiest of ways, and never would you have thought someone as perfect as ellie williams could have thoughts of sin.

“what?” your voice shakes, and ellie tenses for a moment. 

perhaps you could have seen this coming, how there’s often tension thick as a brick wall between the two of you. ellie’s mixed signals ever so confusing.

“sometimes these thoughts get the best of us,” ellie murmurs. she approaches you, and as you look up at her through your eyelashes, she furrows her brows, hardens her gaze. “i have asked god to help me overcome these thoughts. i have had these thoughts and feelings for a long time. yet i repent. you may never get to stop repenting for this. but showing remorse and asking the lord to forgive you is all you need to protect yourself from the devil.”

ellie williams, respected preacher. she devoted her life to the church, wanting to live a life of holiness to make up for those thoughts she couldn’t ignore.

your hands clasped together like a silent, continuous prayer to preserve your own self-control, you open your mouth to speak, when ellie cuts you off.

“i’m glad god brought us together, and caused us to cross paths. you’re a special girl.”

there’s a warm rush of blood going straight to your cheeks, a waver in your voice, and a feeling of deep appreciation pooling between your thighs. “i’m glad too. it’s very comforting… to know that i’m not the only one dealing with these kinds of thoughts. thank you for helping me, and for teaching me that i am not damned. i hope we can both find peace.”

ellie nods slowly, her gaze unfaltering as you rise to your feet. for a moment, you feel that you catch a hint of a different expression – a smirk, one that disappears within seconds. as though she puts on a facade. “we are all born into sin. what matters is that we believe, and we follow the word of god. he knows what’s best for us.”

“and he can lead us back on the right path,” you say, smoothing down your dress, a modest piece, knee length and long sleeved.

ellie is deep in thought when she mumbles her next few words. “in the meantime, i can help you with your sexuality.”

once again, a heavy silence falls over you both as the words hang in the air. ellie’s about to backtrack, when you tilt your head, and her cheeks flush red as wine.

“h– how so..?” you ask, eyeing ellie as she rubs the back of her neck. her signals constantly so mixed, you wonder how you’ve gotten this far. too far to turn back now. her sudden nervous demeanour tells you everything. ellie has her issues, and she is nothing like the perfect preacher everyone respects.

“as a preacher,” ellie says, chuckling in an awkward way, “i should be taking care of people in our town, helping them to overcome their struggles and grow their relationship with god stronger. you are part of that as well.”

and so there it is, the strict and god-fearing ellie back again.

“i’d like to invite you over to my home. to pray, and we can study scripture. i can teach you how to overcome this.” her bottom lip drawn between her teeth, there’s that nervousness again. something impure is implied, her eyes burning into your face for any trace of uncertainty, and in the case that she finds it, she’ll backtrack. “if you’re not interested, just say so.”

and at the thought of what the implications are, you find yourself nodding distractedly, gaze falling towards the crucifix hanging on the wall of the church, and you grow warm with shameful excitement. “yes, i- i can do that. is there a time that suits you, ellie?”

ellie smiles firmly, yet it doesn’t meet her eyes. as if she is having the same mental dilemma as you. “i’m glad. how about tomorrow, 7?”

“of course, i,- yes. i’ll be there. you’re just a walk down the street.”

“perfect,” ellie says, and finally that smile reaches her eyes, an almost teasing twinkle in them, a loving look that doesn’t feel the same as the love she shares with others. “wear something appropriate, alright?”

“uh-huh,” you hum, shrinking under ellie’s gaze, knees buckling.

“i’ll see you soon,” ellie murmurs, voice low. and before you turn to leave, her eyes glance over your body once more. and she doesn’t hide her expression this time. she likes what she sees.

you simply nod your goodbye. as you step down from the altar and bow to the tabernacle, you can feel her stare. you feel it as you walk all the way down the aisle of the church, late afternoon sunlight hitting the stained glass windows just right and casting red shadows over you.

✧✧✧

it’s impossible to make it through the next day. that night when you had left the church, you tried taking ellie’s advice. the hail marys, the devotion. but thoughts crept in, ellie consuming your mind in the most beautiful bittersweet memory. you couldn’t help but to picture what she could do to you, how she could worship you. and the guilt of it had you in tears only after you had came.

at 7pm, you walk down the street to ellie’s house. 

and ellie opens the door, not even a greeting slipping past her lips before she speaks. “i like that dress on you.”

and she doesn’t know it, but it eased so much of your nervousness. that you did read the situation correctly. because if you had misread the entire thing, and showed up to ellie’s home in a dress you’ve grown out of, it would have been a certainly difficult situation to navigate. ellie said to dress appropriately. and to you, that meant an older dress that hugs you tightly in the right places, leaving your body looking supple and sweet for her taking.

and should ellie discover what’s underneath the dress, she’ll see just how appropriate you decided to dress for her.

“you look beautiful,” ellie murmurs quieter this time, stepping aside to let you into her home, the brown brick house seeming so inviting at this time of night, warm candlelight lit inside. as you walk in, ellie’s eyes dip down to your exposed thighs, the dress being that short. 

“thank you,” you reply, taking a look around the house. dark wood, vintage furniture, candles, crosses everywhere. as ellie leads you to her living room, there are things you take note of that you hadn’t expected. gaming consoles, a dvd stand full of horror films. she doesn’t comment even when she sees your stare, and instead she sets you down on her couch.

“should we start?” ellie asks, a hint of a smile on her lips. “how about we start with a prayer?”

“alright,” you say with a nod, clasping your clammy hands together. ellie grins a little, and does the same, then begins to lead you both in prayer.

“lord, we know that we are sinners. please forgive us for experiencing unholy thoughts about other women, and please guide us to become more like you. please help us to watch our words and actions, and guard us against future mistakes and errors. thank you for sending your son, jesus, to die for our sins — and thank you for your forgiveness. In the name of your son jesus, we pray, amen.”

it’s like with every reminder of your faith, glancing around the room, looking at the red rosary hanging around ellie’s neck, or the bible laying on the coffee table, an insurmountable guilt builds inside you.

ellie eyes a crucifix hanging on the wall, then averts her gaze from it – she simply can’t keep her eyes from wandering to you.

“shall we study now?” ellie asks, voice husky as she reaches for the bible. “i can t–”

“ellie,” you say, eyes pleading with her. your hand meets hers, and you stop her from picking up her bible. “we both know you didn’t invite me here to study scripture.”

ellie freezes, flitting her gaze between your hands, the bible, and your eyes. she’s been caught out. perhaps nervous to make the first move, ellie had switched up again, afraid to do anything that wasn’t innocent, afraid to corrupt you. but the confirmation that you want what she wants is enough.

“no… no, you’re right. you’re not here to talk about scripture with me,” ellie mumbles, a nod accompanying it. 

“then…” you begin, fidgeting with the hem of your little dress, tilting your head at ellie with a warm face and trembling legs, white knee high stockings clinging to your calves. “we should… then we should do what you invited me here for.”

a beat.

“are you sure?” ellie asks.

“ellie, i haven’t been able to stop thinking about this,” you say, “haven’t been able to stop thinking about you. so please.”

ellie takes one look at your pleading eyes and your bottom lip between your teeth, and she knows that she’s done for.

“come,” ellie whispers, standing and taking your hand. there’s a faint look in her eyes, and everything feels light and slow as she walks you upstairs, into the bedroom.

ellie’s bedroom is similar to the rest of her house, vintage furniture and low lighting. her queen sized bed is pushed into the corner of the wall. on the nightstand lays another bible, on the wall a cross and portraits she’s drawn or painted herself. there’s a bookshelf filled with mostly religious literature and scientific books about things like astronomy and space. an acoustic guitar sits by the nightstand.

“well,” ellie murmurs, lighting a candle or two on the nightstand, flicking off the main light in the room. she stands across from you, illuminated in a warm candlelit glow. “let’s not waste any more time.”

before ellie does anything else, her hand finds the rosary around her neck. her fingers find the crucifix and she lifts it to her lips, pressing a kiss against it like a silent prayer, one last apology to the god she’s betraying. your heart skips a beat, and within no time ellie’s got a hand on the back of your head, pulling you in.

teeth clashing, hands roaming your body, ellie kisses you like it was the only thing she was made to do in life. she presses her body close to you as her tongue pushes past your soft lips. you’re not quite sure where to put your hands at first, but they settle, cupping ellie’s cheeks to bring her closer. your soft moan is muffled by ellie’s lips, her tongue invading every corner of your mouth, nothing unexplored.

ellie’s hands slide down your body, one gripping your ass over the dress and the other cupping your boob.

pulling away only to catch her breath, ellie pushes you towards the bed, laying you down on your back and climbing on top to continue kissing. she nips your bottom lip with her teeth, every act so desperate, so full of a yearning finally being fulfilled.

she stops kissing you again, this time with her hands reaching for the zipper at the back of your dress. “let’s take this off, sweet girl.”

ellie’s voice is breathless already, and she pants softly as she struggles with the zipper for a moment, her brain moving faster than her hands. she finally manages it, and lifts the dress off you.

you’re quiet, as is ellie. you had anticipated there’d be a reaction to this, the matching set you chose. white and lacy, a bra and panties that match the stockings ellie admired earlier. but nothing could have truly prepared you for ellie’s reaction.

“you are divine,” ellie murmurs, her hand roaming down to your hips. she licks her lips, unable to keep her eyes off of how the bra accentuates your breasts, or how the panties hug your waist. her body language, all too clear of how she truly feels about you, does nothing but cause you to throb inside your panties. “do you trust me?”

the question throws you off. furrowing your brows, but offering a small smile, you reply. “of course i trust you, ellie.”

the soft tone of your voice entices ellie, especially as you take her hand and guide it to your chest, letting her squeeze you through the cup of your bra.

“what a beautiful sin,” ellie whispers, leaning down and attaching her lips to your neck. she’s careful not to leave marks that would be visible, but she squeezes your breast as she kisses and licks a trail down your neck, all the way to your chest.

ellie revels in your soft mewls, the way your thread your fingers into the hair at the back of her head, and hold her against you. her hand reaches behind you, grabbing at the clasp of your bra. and ellie bites down, sucking a bruise into the soft flesh of your breast, where she knows nobody could see it. you arch your back partly in pleasure, but mostly to provide her access to the back of your bra, and ellie pulls it off in no time. her eyes widen as your tits spill out, and she swallows thickly as she watches your nipples grow firm with arousal and the exposure to the air.

ellie’s hand cups your bare tit and squeezes as she brings her face up towards you once more, needing that touch of her lips on yours. her long fingers tweak your nipple, rolling the bud around as she kisses you with a growing passion, groaning into the kiss just as you whine quietly.

ellie chuckles as your hands press into her back, pulling her closer, hugging her and hiding your face away in shame. she kisses the corner of your lips, pausing to soothe you. “shh, let me take care of you. let me worship you, sweet girl.”

you ease your grip on ellie when she says that, and she smiles at you before leaning down. you shiver, feeling the cold metal crucifix of her rosary resting down against your stomach, earning a chuckle from ellie as she wraps her lips around your nipple. she sucks for a moment, then rolls her tongue over it.

ellie’s hand lays flat over your stomach, pinning you down to stop your restless squirming. she moves her leg between yours, her knee pressing a generous amount of friction against your panties.

“h… ellie,” you whisper, “have you done this before?”

ellie looks up at you, and with a grin, she nods. “i have. a long time ago.”

“oh my goodn–” you cut yourself off with a lengthy whine, ellie beginning to suck hickeys all over your chest, from one breast to the other. she gives your other nipple the same treatment, only this time her teeth graze it lightly, and your hand on the back of her head tightens the grip on her hair. “ellie…”

“shh,” ellie hushes you, beginning to kiss down your stomach. “you’re okay.”

your incessant squirming and writhing turns ellie’s grin wider, when she cups her hand over your panties and feels the soaking mess.

“that’s beautiful,” she whispers, her fingers tugging at the waistband now, “this all f’me?”

you nod eagerly, looking down at ellie from where you lay propped up against the plush pillows. any holy thought has left your mind, and it appears to be the same for ellie, who lays between your legs with a cheshire cat smile, stripping the panties down your legs.

“so pretty,” ellie hums, grasping at your thighs and pulling them apart. “tell me, you want me to touch you here?”

a nod simply won’t be good enough this time, and you know that, clearing your throat to speak up hoarsely. “yes, yes please, el… can y– mmff-”

ellie’s fingers rub over your cunt, two fingers spreading the folds, the touch burning hot and electrifying. ellie laughs, not meanly, but sympathetically. “barely touched you yet, cutie. so wet…”

your lips turn down into a pout that makes ellie smirk, and she leans close, leaving a kiss on your throbbing clit.

“c’mon, don’t pout at me,” she whispers, another kiss following the words. “angel…”

you shudder, and then a loud moan escapes your throat as ellie’s tongue flicks out, beginning to lap at you. your body’s responsiveness leaves ellie with so much confidence. 

“ellie, ellie,” you mewl, reaching a hand towards her. “ellie, it’s so– mmm…”

ellie reaches her free hand towards you, letting you grab it and intertwine your fingers. she gives a gentle squeeze as she licks a stripe down from your clit to your entrance, then back up again.

ellie can’t get enough of you, of your saccharine taste, staring up at you with blown out pupils as she sucks and laps at you. one of her bony fingers dips into your entrance, and ellie herself groans at the feeling of you clenching around it, but the sound you make is so rewarding that she pushes her ring finger in as soon as she knows you can take another finger. her digits stroke in and out of your sopping cunt, leaving you a whimpering and whining mess.

“c’mon angel,” ellie murmurs against your pussy, “i got you, i got you. ‘s this good?”

you nod, squeezing ellie’s hand in a vice grip, hips bucking against her face eagerly. “ellieeeeuuhh, oh, oh my g–”

“don’t,” ellie warns, “don’t take the lord’s name in vain, and don’t bring him into this.”

“i– s-sorry,” you gasp out, tipping your head back, “oh, oh, ellie, i’m gettin’ close.”

“good girl,” ellie murmurs, keeping the fast rhythm of both her fingers and tongue. “gonna be good and cum f’me?”

“yea, yea,” you say in a breathy voice, more moans leaving your lips, “ohhh, mmfuck, f-fuck, ellie.”

ellie’s ruining you, reduced you to nothing but babbles and moans. you buck your hips up more, rutting fast against her face, and that’s when you hit your peak. with a shriek of ellie’s name, you cream on her fingers, covering them with your slick, allowing them to stroke in and out even quicker.

ellie rides out your orgasm, slowly pulling away when you’re finished. she peppers kisses along your shaking thighs, leaning up to catch your lips in a kiss.

“good, sweet girl?” ellie asks, kissing the top of your head. you nod – but ellie isn’t finished with you, apparent as she begins unbuckling her belt.

“mmm,” you hum, “‘s perfect.”

“alright, angel, c’mere,” ellie says, stripping down to nothing. she sits by the headboard, pulling you onto her lap, hooking a leg over you. “you’re doin’ so good, you know? think you were made to please. good at taking what you’re given.”

“only because i want it,” you say in response, which has ellie chuckling. she grips your waist, grunting when her cunt makes contact with yours. 

“good,” ellie says sternly, “because– shit.”

ellie loves how you keel over and press your nose against her neck because of the way your sensitive pussy rubs against her own. she tightens her grip on your waist, fingernails leaving little crescent moon marks in the plush skin as she begins moving you, groaning and moaning at the way your clit bumps against hers. she moves her own hips too, gasping your name.

you breathe soft whines into ellie’s neck, arms wrapped around her, hugging tight. it’s nothing but desperate now, your second orgasm approaching right in time with ellie’s.

“hnng, f-fuck, yeah, you gonna cum again?” ellie asks, squeezing your ass as you move against her. “good girl, cum, c– cum with me, cum with me s– fuck.”

ellie tenses up, hips moving fast to rub your soaking cunts together as you both cum. kissing your temple, ellie gently moves you off of her, running a hand through her damp and sweaty hair. “stay here angel, ‘m gonna clean you up, and we’ll cuddle then, okay?”

you don’t have much of a say in the matter regardless, shaking in the afterglow of ellie’s touch. she comes back moments later, looking a bit cleaner herself, carrying a wet washcloth. she begins to wipe you down, being extra careful around all of your more sensitive areas. she leaves kisses in the wake of her touch.

“you are beautiful,” ellie says in a firm tone. “the most perfect angel i’ve ever seen.”

you can only give ellie a half smile in response, and she drops the washcloth, leaning in and kissing you sweetly. 

“don’t stress, you know why? because god always forgives as long as you’re willing to repent.”

ellie climbs into bed, pulling you close with an arm around your waist. she rests her chin on top of your head, a protective hold on you.

“why don’t we say another prayer before we go to sleep?” the preacher asks, tone almost uncertain. is she convincing you, or herself? “he’ll forgive us.”

credits: middle pic in the banner is @switchbladekillerqueen <33 this pic inspired me to write this fic!!

[apenitentialprayer]

i know that as a catholic you just have to believe with what the church says but i really dont like the belief of the original sin, i feel like its such a horrible thing to believe about yourself and about other human beings too

There are actually ways of legitimately dissenting from less essential Church teachings in a way that leaves you in good standing with the Church; I'm not sure if Original Sin is one of those things, though, to be honest.

But, anon, I'm going to offer another perspective here, starting from a quote (perhaps ironically?) from my favorite heretic. One of the things that James Carroll believes is that Original Sin has been given a bad wrap. In Constantine's Sword, he says:

I referred to Augustine’s assertion of the idea that the human condition implies a perennial state of finitude, weakness, and sin, all of which will be overcome, even for the Church, only with the end of time. [...] Augustine is thus regarded as the father of a severe, flesh-hating, sin-obsessed theology, but that dark characterization misses the point of his insight. His honest admission of the universality of human woundedness is a precondition for both self-acceptance and the forgiveness of the other, which for Augustine always involved the operation of God’s grace, God’s gift. Only humans capable of confronting the moral tragedy of existence, matched to God’s offer of repairing grace, are capable of community, and community is the antidote to human woundedness. Augustine sensed that relationship as being at the heart of God, and he saw it as being at the heart of human hope, too. This is a profoundly humane vision.

I wish I had understood the spirit of this quote when I was in high school. I remember learning in my World History class that Islam teaches that all children are born good, and then the world makes them evil. And I remember my teacher asking how that compares with Christianity, and I raised my hand and said that Christianity teaches that all of us are born evil. Because I believed that at the time. And, really, the whole framing of that question was wrong and gave really simplistic representations of what Islam and Christianity teaches, but I don't think we're alone in having internalized that understanding, anon. And that's a shame.

I thin it's important to remember the worldview that the doctrine of Original Sin is actively defending us against; there was an idea, that gets called "Pelagianism" (the poor guy it got named after may not even have believed it), that said that humans were capable of being saved on their own, by their own power. Someone on this site recently asked what people's thoughts on Pelagianism were, so you can read my thoughts here. But to keep it short and sweet, I think Original Sin is an important doctrine because it saves you from the need to be perfect.

There are ways to treat Original Sin that I think are certainly unhealthy, and I think the doctrine can be a source of anxiety and fear. But I also think, very deeply, that Original Sin should be a reason why we treat ourselves and especially our neighbor with kindness and understanding. I can look at myself and say "What I do, I do not understand. For I do not do what I want, but I do what I hate. […] For I do not do the good that I want, but I do the evil I do not want" (Romans 7:15, 19). And I can say that because I know I am ontologically wounded; that all of us have our weaknesses. That while we may still be in the moral wrong for committing a morally wrong action, our wills are compromised in a way that causes us to incline towards the comfortable and the easy rather than the good.

I wish I could go back in time and tell that class that Christianity does not teach that people are born evil. I wish I could go back and tell them that it teaches that we are born in a state of dis-integration, that we are wounded beings yearning for wholeness; alienated beings seeking everlasting belonging; beings lost in darkness, seeking the light. But I can say it now: the doctrine of Original Sin doesn't have to be an occasion to think you're depraved and without value, but it can be an invitation to come to terms with your own woundedness, because doing that (to use the words of Lutheran theologian Nancy Eiesland) "opens a space for the inflowing of grace and acceptance."

[hot-chocolate-rat]

Reading through @badaziraphaletakes inspired me to make a post about reasons:

Why people tend to choose Crowley of Aziraphale, and, consequently, think Aziraphale is bad

This might be a long post, i'll cover some topics and i might get all over the place at some point! But please be patient! Can i get into it?

Inversion of values

When first watching Good Omens, you might expect a strong inversion of values, that Heaven is bad and Hell is good, angels are the oppresors and demons the victims

It is mostly religiously (religious trauma) motivated, aka "christianity is a fucking bullshit" motivated, to expect seeing the ones who calls themselfs good (Heaven, who we interpret as Christian religious figures) be actually bad (wich, in real life, they tend to be) and, the ones they cast out as evil and sinful (Hell, wich we interpret in this case as anyone the church calls sinful, like the queer comunity) to be good and innocent and just different, it makes us feel emphatic for them, even seeing that they are, indeed, bad

I believe some people just dont want to accept it, they want to believe the angels are inherently bad and the demons just questioned their bad ways

But they arent, if anything ALL angels and demons are naturally good and innocent, "oh but Gabriel!" He was naturally good, we saw it, the same with Michael and Uriel too, they're all just tainted by the strong grip Heaven demands for them to have; in episode 1 season 2, we see both Crowley (as starmaker) and Aziraphale being totally innocent and adorable, they're good by nature, no one in the story is actually evil

When this inversion of values we wish for isnt fulfilled, it might cause an annoyance, i know a lot of people who dont accept it, and just make it up because... well is expected!

Queerness

This was originally taken from a post of "Bad Aziraphale Takes"

Crowley is "more queer" than Aziraphale, at least thats how people see it as, in fics too, how many times Crowley gender is explored, with pronouns and labels and identities? While the more i saw for Aziraphale was a vulva or they/them pronouns, and never in a human au! Aziraphale is depicted and seem as a cisgender male

I have seem even people saying Aziraphale have internalized homophobia! I- how??

Found them! @theelastword made an ask on the "bad Aziraphale takes" blog that inspired this bit <3 thank you love

Need for a villain and favorites

As we saw, people that hate Aziraphale choose to see Heaven as evil, as the villain, and that is also followed by many people who dont hate Aziraphale! Well, might i say that... we dont have a real villain in Good Omens? The angels arent evil for wishing to follow what they believe to be God's plan, nor for deminishing humanity- but i'm getting ahead of myself here!

The need to see Heaven as inhetently bad, the big bad villain, makes people see Aziraphale, going back there "freely", hurting Crowley's feelings, saying Hell/demons are the bad guys (wich they ARE?? There is not an inversion of values!) As him being evil, as him going to the side of the villain instesd of choosing Crowley, going back to CROWLEY'S abusers, not his, not theirs, Crowley

I do believe humans have a natural need to have favorites, when you're a kid is always "wich caracther of this cartoon am i?" and later is always "wich do i relate to more? Wich do i like more?", and people choose Crowley for all those reasons above and probally some personal ones too

So! As a small conclusion:

People choose to prefer Crowley, they choose to see Crowley as better because he's a "good demon", he's the victim that fell from Heaven and hates Hell, he's the queer caracther, he's kind and genuine and helps Aziraphale and have a car he loves

Because of the idea that Aziraphale is: A) opposite to Crowley; B) an Angel! (The abusers! The bad guys! The evil!); C) a BAD angel for that matter, he's selfish and mundane and comes across as rude to Crowley (because he acts so fucking autistic too!); people tend to DISLIKE Aziraphale, small simple minded people, but people nonetheless

I know the whole post is a bit over the place, it might sound confusing here and there, but i really wanted to put all this together to try and understand why people hate Aziraphale

I though maybe this can give a small input on why people think like that, it sures helps me to understand how they think that and what they mean by their terrible takes! I guess is mostly them being naive

Oh! You know how in the 2000's the media was demonizing femininity by having blond, pink, feminine villains in their high school romances? How we, to this day, tend to see feminine girls as fake, vulgar, naive, etc? How most teen girls go through a "not like other girls phase" because of that?

Same principle! Is the same reason for why they see Heaven and Aziraphale as evil

I hope someone can appreciate this lil silly thoughs put together <3

[guiltywisdom]

I dont want to burden you with unweildy, personal questions, but i respecr your opinion a lot and think you have good thoughts. (Sorry this is gonna be kinda long, feel free to ignore it (though i ask you dont block me based on this ask bc i love your blog))

Christianity is a faith a care for deeply and feel deeply cared for, especially Catholicism, which i feel connects me to my mother and her family, especially my late grandmother. I love Christian thought, Christian activism, Christian theology, Christian prayer, the whole lot. There are few times i feel more comfort in the world than when im praying a Rosary.

The problem is, i converted to paganism back when i was a child. Im a pan/omnitheist- whatever the one that means you believe all gods exist. And i still feel deeply connected to my faith as a pagan, even as I've shifted pantheons to worship over the years (going from one of/eclectic to Hellenic to Kemetic to Hellenic to settling on Norse.) There's nothing in my soul that feels wrong or stifled when i pray to my gods, ot in fact brings me a great deal of comfort and joy and i feel has helped me deal with a lot of issues in my life.

I still love God, i WANT to love God, and i feel so much love and happiness when i pray to God. But i also feel super conflicted and gross because i know im still pagan at the end of the day. I can't make myself stop believing in my other gods.

So my question is, finally, how would you reconcile these feelings? What am i meant to do with these wack emotions?

I have a friend who's an Omnist and I respect his belief in that and in anyone who wishes to believe. I respect all faiths and support people in those faiths but Christianity is a monotheist religion; the first commandment was to have no other God's besides the Lord and that commandment is echoed over and over again in the scriptures and the words of the church fathers.

I think you have two options here, accept that you are a pagan/omnist and move past those conflicted feelings or accept that the Lord commanded us to only have faith in Him. Honestly my dear sibling in Christ, I don't think I'm the one to decide for you which of those is best for you. You have to figure out what kind of person you are and what you truly believe in your heart to be right; you need to come to terms with these feelings and face then head on. No matter which road you go down remember that I and the Lord do love you dearly.

[little-cirrus-fibratus]

Psychosis and religion: don't dismiss psychotic people's religious beliefs

Tw: mentions of christianity and atheism and religious psychosis

I encourage discussion and please add on your experience or your thoughts but remember to be kind, if I said something wrong please correct me in a civil way, I know that I don't do and say everything right, and am eager to learn.

I am religious, and I want to study theology and become a priest (I know a lot of folks have religious trauma but remember not all religious people are like the religious people who hurt you, give me a chance) and my biggest fear is that people will not want to listen to me or will dismiss my religious beliefs because I have schizophrenia, or that people will think that my beliefs are due to my psychosis or that they'll use my psychosis against me or believe me less. Most folks here seem to have trauma from christianity, I though have bad experiences with atheism (i dont know if i have the right to call it trauma). The people I grew up with would literally say that religious people were just psychotic or delusional (which was the wrong use of the word, which is using the words "psychotic" or "delusional" as derogatory terms which stigmatises actually psychotic people) and the people I grew up with would often use my psychosis against me. And also the atheists i grew up with would have what I call "atheist superiority complex" where they would express that they were superior or more intelligent than religious people simply because they were atheist (not all atheists are like that). My psychosis was used against me and my religious beliefs.

Psychotic people have a right to religion just as much as any other person, and each psychotic person just like any other person have formed their beliefs in their own way, they have their own spiritual experiences and their own (valid) reasons to believing what they believe.

And for some reason people assume that when you're psychotic and religious that your psychosis must be religious psychosis. But as an example my psychosis doesn't evolve around my religion at all. Honestly I feel most detached from God when I am psychotic, to me my psychosis is a godforsaken place. BUT even if you do have religious psychosis you still have the right to religion, even if your religious beliefs were formed by your psychosis. Because religious beliefs are formed by YOUR life experience, and YOUR spiritual experience and if you're a person who experiences psychosis, psychosis is part of your life experience.

If you are psychotic and religious your religious beliefs are valid.

[apollons-solskinn]

i've been thinking about norse paganism a lot lately (i think norse is the right english word). and i want to try to put all these thoughts into words. this will be a little bit all over the place; a vent post, if you will (or tankekjør, as we say)

sometimes i feel like i should worship these gods and not the hellenic ones, like i'm doing something wrong by worshipping gods that are essentially foreign; i live in norway and grew up learning about the norse gods. i believe in them too, in the same way i believe in the hellenic gods. but i've never felt drawn to them in the same way.

i've felt drawn to Apollo since i first learned about greek mythology in middle school, and that pull has only grown stronger as i've grown older. i feel right worshipping the hellenic gods.

it doesn't feel disrespectful to the norse gods necessarily. i acknowledge them and the fact that i live where they've been worshipped; i grew up in a christian family, but always aware of them. it feels almost matter of fact, that they surround me and have for my whole life. even if i do not directly worship the norse gods, i know they affect my life and the world around me. and i dont know if im doing wrong by dedicating myself to what are essentially foreign gods, while living in the land of and breathing the air of the norse gods.

in the same way, i believe in things such as house spirits as they are in hellenism; but i do not believe that they are here, where i live, because i also grew up with norwegian folk tales/mythology and believe that the house spirits we have (hus/fjøsnisse) are here.

it's a sort of mixing and matching of beliefs that i am uncertain if are disrespectful to any of my deities, or to the religions as a whole.

idk where i was going with this exactly. just thinking out loud, i guess. i want to try and see if i can find any hellenic polytheist communities in norway, or norwegian hellenic polytheists in general, who might have thoughts about this too.

[quinnonimp]

Please tell us more about your tntduo priest/vampire fic I am literally begging you

SORRY THIS IS SO FUCKING LATE LMFAO I NEVER CHECK MY INBOX i rly need to check more often i have so many asks fuck

but aaaa im so glad u wanna know more 👉👈

for once i dont rly have super many thoughts abt an au ? tbh ? like its been very difficult for me to come up with ideas since i dont know that much abt vampires n i dont know that much abt catholicism/christianity

a little of what ive had in mind so far though is cwil is this very lonely priest with no family left who took over the church for his late father - but doesnt actually believe in god all that much, just pretends for the sake of keeping something

then one night some mysterious guy shows up near closing hours and wilbur is already pretty scared for no other reason than just the vibes . they dont talk but after a while of wil staring the pretty guy just gives him a big smile and leaves

the mysterious guy is vampire cquackity, hes just here cause he was hiding away from a hunter (probably ctechno filling this role)

in this universe vampires arent particularly affected by religion itself but just weakened by faith . quackity couldnt feel anything coming from the church, so he assumed it was empty since it was late anyway . turns out there is someone there ! but it doesnt effect him, and quackity realizes the priest himself has no faith, and becomes very interested

because of this new found fascination quackity decides to come back at a similar hour every day, and luckily for him barely anyone is there on weekdays/past 6pm, so he doesnt have to worry about being weakened (and especially not for hunters since they wouldnt expect a vampire to be in a church) . wilbur and him still havent talked but quackity still has fun observing his behaviour, and wilbur just feels a teensy bit less lonely having someone come back so consistently and every single day while he closes

one day however when wilbur decides hes finally gonna talk to this guy, quackity isnt there, and wilburs so confused as to why he feels so sad about it . why does he miss the presence of this stranger hes never even talked to ? he spends the whole rest of the night distracted thinking about the mysterious guy

the next day at around 3-4am when wilbur enters the church to start his day, he sees the presence he missed so much yesterday

though wilburs not as happy as he should be, as the stranger is covered in blood next to a corpse and about to jump him

so yea idk ive been trying to work on the fic, hopefully i actually manage to get smth cool outta it and post it but we'll see !! for now im just drawing the blorbos

if anyone has extra ideas n whatnot or wanna ask more abt the au feel welcome to do so, i cant promise ill be very interesting but i will be very glad to answer lmao

[mydarlingdahlia]

Warning : a rant about religion/religious stuff below, read with that in mind.

I’m tired of seeing people on TikTok (or any other social media platform, really) put down or berate others for their opinions or beliefs.

For example…

I saw an innocent video of a girl reading some scripture from her Bible and just talking about a dream she had. Not harming anyone, right? Apparently not…

I can’t tell you how many comments I saw of people from other religions putting her down and just flat out making fun of her belief. As a Christian, it did hurt seeing my faith being treated the way it was in that comment section.

But, here’s another example…

I saw another video of this girl showing off some of her crystals and tapestries that she had gotten, and I thought they looked neat! I liked the video, and went to leave a comment about where she got them, when I saw some other messages.

Basically to sum up what they were saying is that if she kept doing the blasphemous things she was doing she’d go to hell, and other hateful things.

It also hurt seeing her being put down/being for her opinions/beliefs, when she wasn’t even doing anything wrong or hurtful to another religion!

DONT 👏 PUT 👏 OTHERS 👏 DOWN 👏 FOR 👏 THEIR 👏 OPINIONS 👏 OR 👏 BELIEFS👏 OR 👏 RELIGION👏

STOP IT.

It’s rude. And you aren’t “saving” anyone by doing it either.

The same things goes for people who flat out just make videos hurtfully ridiculing a comment or person for their own religion. (Not just Christians or Satanists.)

Also…

STOP 👏 SPREADING 👏 MISINFORMATION 👏 ABOUT 👏 OTHER 👏 RELIGIONS 👏 OR👏 WAYS 👏 OF 👏 LIFE👏

Being a Satanist or an Atheist doesn’t make someone a devil worshipper. If someone is a Satanist, it doesn’t mean they’re in a cult. It simply means they worship mainly themselves or act as their own god. (Which isn’t right in my opinion, but who am I to tell them what to do?)

If someone is an Atheist, that doesn’t make them anymore wayward than the rest of us. They may not worship the Lord, but that doesn’t mean we should treat them like dirt or anything less than a human being.

Same thing goes for any other religion.

I have friends that come for other religions, and they’re some of the nicest/awesome people I’ve met! Sure, we don’t see eye to eye on a few things, but that’s okay! It doesn’t mean I should end a relationship over a little disagreement.

Also, I’ve also seen some controversial takes on people of the LGBTQIA+ community, and as a Christian, it intrigues me to listen to them, as I am a member of that community.

I’ve heard some people say that all who are apart of or even support the LGBTQIA+ community should go to hell, which I think is a bit rash. I’ve also seen people who say they just need forgiveness, but I’m curious, what do they need to be forgiven of?

I know in the Bible it says homosexuality is a sin, but ever since humanity fell, we’ve been stuck in sin’s (or the devil’s) trap, and I believe we won’t be able to get out of said trap until Jesus comes back. (The Rapture, The Second Coming, call it what you like.)

I can’t help the way I am, and you can’t just convert me to become straight just like that. I am very happy with Mia, and she is with me, and there is no way I’d leave her, for any faith.

And you know what, I respect your opinion if you think I’m wrong. I won’t say anything against it. Wanna know why? I’ve been taught and brought up my whole life to be kind to others, even if they don’t deserve it. And yes, I forget that sometimes, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be respectful towards them.

Especially if it’s about their beliefs or religion.

So, say it with me.

I will love and respect all of my witch, celestial, and earthy girlies/fellas, even if we don’t see eye to eye.

I will love and respect all of my Christian girlies/fellas, even if we don’t see eye to eye.

I will love and respect all of my Atheist girlies/fellas, even if we don’t see eye to eye.

I will love and respect all of my Satanist girlies/fellas, even if we don’t see eye to eye.

I will love and respect all of my Hindu girlies/fellas, even if we don’t see eye to eye.

I will love and respect all of my Islamic girlies/fellas, even if we don’t see eye to eye.

I will love and respect all of my Buddhist girlies/fellas, even if we don’t see eye to eye.

I will love and respect people regardless of their religion, beliefs, or opinions, even if we don’t see eye to eye.

See, that’s not so hard is it?

Treat people how you’d wanna be treated. Give respect, get respect.

[clownrecess]

As an autistic individual myself, I am interested in the intersection of neurodiversity and various identities.

You've mentioned that you identify as a Norse Pagan. I'm curious about how your spiritual beliefs intersect with your neurodivergent experience. Do you find that your autistic identity informs or impacts your spiritual practice in any way?

(Tw for discussions of trauma, religion, etc.)

Sorry for the late-ish response! I've been working on this post a little everyday to make sure I write it how I want it.

I dont think that my autism has impacted my religion or spirtual experiences/beliefs, but my brain as a whole does. (Update: It actually did influence it quite a bit. I'm realizing this after writing this post. So, uh, thank you for helping me realize something that I find quite interesting!)

When I was a kid, I was raised in christianity. I was very religious. I prayed everyday, I had a cross in my room, etc.

But heres the thing: I have OCD. A few different types, but out of those, one of them is religious OCD.

Most of my praying ages late 8-12 was done purely out of fear. At that point I wasnt even really a Christian, I was just really afraid, which really impacted how I viewed religion. I HATED conversation about it because it felt scary and icky to me.

I didn't understand why people would ever want to talk about it. It felt like a very private topic for me, so I figured people who go out of their way to talk about it must be trying to get extra "good points" with god (maybe that bit was caused by autism, actually.).

During that time, I would go through little phases of a month or so at a time in which I would try to "swing the opposite direction". This was around age 10-11. I was developing an intense anger toward the church, and I just wanted to be the opposite of they were, whatever that meant. Because I didn't want to think about religion (due to anxiety around it), I really didn't know what many religious labels actually meant because researching them made me very uncomfortable, so I briefly identified as a satanist (this would be on and off during ages 10-11.) despite really not knowing what that meant. I think I just wanted a way to separate myself from the church as much as possible.

A few months after I turned 12, I felt a really strong urge to research paganism out of nowhere (I didnt even know what "pagan" meant, I just suddenly felt the need to know things about it. It was very random.). It started sort of as a special interest (Maybe autism did influence me more than I thought! Interesting.), and so I would look into a lot of different branches of paganism, focusing most of my research around hellenistic paganism.

A few weeks after this, I had a very interesting experience which I now believe to have been a sign from Freyja (I dont want to go into specifics. It was personal and I want to keep that special to me. I might later, but for now it's just mine. Just know it was a very beautiful thing from her.). DIRECTLY following this event (Maybe an hour or two later), I felt another urge to research things, but this time to be looking into the Norse Gods/Goddesses (which I'd never even heard of at that point.).

At that point I ended up converting to paganism. It was an extremely sudden decision, but it made sense to me.

No matter what religion I had been apart of before, I always felt anxiety and guilt, causing me to try and fix things by becoming excessively religious again in a Christian way. But from the moment I became pagan, I just never had that ever again. It's been the only religion I've ever felt fully safe in.

It's obviously been quite a while since then, and I'm obviously still a Norse Pagan.

Whilst I now love all the gods and goddesses, Freyja will always be especially special to me.

At this point I have worked with: Freyja, Loki, Odin, Beyla, and Njord.

Now, I also think its important to mention another part of my brain that impacts my religious experience: I am in a system.

Nearly all of us identify as Norse Pagans, but we have a few Agnostics as well, a few Eclectic Pagans, an Atheistic Satanist, and a Theistic Satanist.

The primary religious identity within our system is Norse Paganism, with the majority of individuals identifying as followers of this belief system. Due to this, we say we are a Norse Pagan! We are also okay with just being called "Pagan" on it's own, though.

[sag-dab-sar]

Sorry i blocked u i was very upset at the hatred(miso) of synchretism i see on here. i’m jewish i don’t need their or anyone elses opinion on Open vs Closed. i don’t think nonjews need their opinions either. though you are keen to summon them. as a sumerian polytheist i disagree that Lilith has no place to be deified up from her demonic origins. I believe Inanna may forgive her for shitting up in that tree. I agree that pseudohistorical declarations are laughable but i dont think theyre harmful in religious context. We don’t go after the exodus lie, and shouldnt! Why any modern mythologies about lilith? Fraudulent behavior! Recreating christian persecution in a way.

I love lilith and to me lilith is as free as the chill of the swift starkissed winds! Despite our differences I pray may Peace be upon you :3

I have no problems with you blocking me, please block people like me if we upset you. My unease was being blocked after someone asked an open ended accusatory question—which I now realize you didn't do. I didn't realize that you used the word misosyncretism, I have dyslexia and misunderstood and thought you were saying I was a misogynist so I am sorry for that misunderstanding and will erase those tags.

🔹Not Needing Opinions🔹

If you don't need anyone's opinion on whether or not something is closed don't reblog a post saying a particular thing is open. You are inviting dissenting opinions— whether its from Jews or non-Jews— when you reblog someone else's post with your own opinion. If you don't want to discuss open vs closed then simply ignore posts that say Lilith is closed, block people who say she is closed, do whatever, but don't engage if it makes you upset.

People are going to have opinions and, again, my opinion is that Lilith is closed based on numerous Jewish voices I have listened to. I recognize not every person in a group is going to agree with each other because no group is a monolith, but I do my best to listen to the voices of a paticular culture and come to a conclusion.

🔹My Opinion🔹

Yes, I am "very keen to summon" my own opinions because its my blog. If I reblog and add to a post I'm giving an opinion... thats kind of the point of blogging.

My conclusion is that non-Jews worship Lilith as a part of cultural Christianity, an ahistorical mythology they refuse to admit is modern, ignore all open entities that still fit the bill, and I see a lot of antisemitism among them. As well as a lot of Islamaphobia & Chrsitophobia. It is a form of cultural appropriation for their own comfort because they cannot be bothered to learn actual history.

My observation is that the majority of Lilith worshippers don't actually care about Lil-demons, they use the demons as a tool to try and validate their worship as something rooted in a non-Jewish historical tradition, when it is not. Lil demons are a convenient excuse. In reality they cling to her because they see her as a feminist icon who stood up the the Big Bad Misogynistic Abrahamic God™.

There is no need for non-Jews to worship a Jewish figure ahistorically when there are plenty of actual Ancient Near Eastern Goddesses who are open.

Thats my opinion. Its what I'm standing by.

🔹Pseudo-history🔹

Now again, I'm not going to try and argue from the Jewish side it is not my place. But I can and will argue from a Sumerian Polytheism and accuracy in history side.

Lilith is not a member of the Lil demons, she is not Ardat-Lilî even if there are some similarities. I show information about Lil-demons here and they are not Lilith. Syncretism is not the problem that was common in the Ancient Near East— Inana, Nanaya, Ištar, Šaušga— as one example. There may be some connection between Lilith and Ardat Lilî: mainly influencing the characterization of the Hebrew Lilith in the Book of Isaiah, but there is no evidence they are one in the same. There is no evidence they were ever considered one in the same by any ancient people or traditions. The issue isn't syncretism its pseudo-history.

They were not syncretic in history. Lil demons come from Mesopotamian tradition which spans the 4th millennium BCE to the 1st millennium BCE; while the Sumerian language continued as a liturgical language for quite some time the Sumerian Civilization ended circa 2000-1700 BCE. Aside from the extremely minor mention in Isiah 34:14, the story most Lilith worshippers base her on comes from a midrash written at some point during the 1st millennium CE. This is a significant time difference and people just seem to wipe away time differences as if they don't matter, or they simply can't wrap their head around them.

Pseudo-history absolutely can be harmful and I absolutely abhor pseudo history and always will. I literally have an entire tag, #letsdebunk , for it and its been apart of my blogging since I started in 2017.

"We don't go after the Exodus lie"

Plenty do, plenty of Jews debate the historicity of stories in Jewish literature including the Tanakh, as do many Christians when reading the 'Old Testament'. (Also I would call it a myth not a lie). But whether or not Exodus actually happened in history is very different than making things up and claiming that it was a real religion and real mythology people once believed. Saying "Exodus is a story in the Tanakh and Old Testament and it says [insert story]," is different than saying "Lilith was originally a Sumerian Goddess of love and war," when she wasn't.

You are comparing apple to oranges. The fake history around Lilith is more akin to saying something like "Exodus is a story about how an ancient Egyptian God punished Egyptians for there bad deeds and Jewish slaves escaped while their was chaos and then they found a tribe worshiping a God named YHWH and adopted the religion of that tribe" <- that is not the story of Exodus its abunch of made up bullshit. Made up bullshit is what I consider most modern neo-pagan/left hand path/witch claims about Lilith.

Pseudo-history is used to culturally appropriate many things not just Lilith. It has many problems:

It's used to make bigoted claims against Jews, such as "the Jews killed Jesus" which is historically factually wrong and one of the most damaging sources of antisemitism in history.

Bigotry against Christians, by claiming their only role in history is oppression and the silencing of any Christian voices including POC the world over. Like the dumb St Patrick pagan persecution story which is listed as a false meme by Snopes but shows up as a real belief among neo-pagans. This is also extremely dangerous towards African Diaspora Religions that are syncretized with Christianity, as just one example of how Christophobia is dangerous.

Bigotry against Muslims, by claiming they have solely been a patriarchal oppressor that made no advancements to humanity and only offer "violent jihadism." Which is false and ignores actual Islamic history because real history is very inconvenient for the narrative

Its used to validate bullshit like the Burning Times, blood based witchcraft lineage, and a false sense of persecution among modern neo-pagans. A completely toxic belief.

Its used by feminists who claim a unsubstantiated matriarchal pre-historic religion destroyed by evil patriarchy. They use it to deny anyone who isn't a cis-woman from Goddess worship, witchcraft, and other neo-pagan traditions and claim transwomen and transfemmes are just another iteration of the evil patriarchy trying to taint there ancient Goddess faith. A faith that never existed. Pseudo-history as a tool of transphobia.

Its used by Wiccans and neo-pagans to ignore real Irish history. And add things like Ostara a made up holiday based on the Goddess "Ēsotre" of dubious historicity according to medieval historian Bede & Mabon's fabrication by Aiden Kelly based on the name of a Welsh folk hero.

Its used to fabricate stories about deities that may or may not be real, like Ēsotre mentioned above, and then connect her to the holiday of Easter, and then make a huge leap and connect that to real historical deities like Ištar. Which is also used as a false sense of persecution among neo-pagans.

It can be a weapon for racial/ethnic supremacists. For example, the idea that Hellenic Polytheism was a national religion unique to the Hellenes is pseudo-history used by the boarding on ethnic supremacist YSEE organization.

Not to mention all the horrific pseudo-history of the extremely antisemitic Satanism group that I won't name. That constantly claims Lucifer is a Sumerian God or whatever and spams the inboxes of neo-pagans/witches/polytheists.

Its used by new agers to validate their appropriation of traditions from Dharmic religions for their own inaccurate purposes.

Its used to support, often very racist, "ancient alien" claims.

I could keep going and going and going with fake history touted among neo-pagans, witches, polytheists, left hand path folk, occultists, and new agers that is dangerous but hopefully I've gotten my point across.

"Recreating Christian persecution in a way"

If its not abundantly clear from my above examples pseudo-history is used to fabricate a lot of Christian persecution claims that have serious negative impacts. I don't even know what you mean by this so honestly I'm not going to try arguing against it.

Bottom line: pseudo-history absolutely is harmful in a religious context.

🔹Sumerian Polytheism🔹

As for "deifying" her up in Sumerian Polytheism. No I am 100% against that. Don't deify up demons and claim its still Sumerian polytheism because it isn't— its modern demonolatry.

First, Lilith isn't Sumerian.

Second, demons have their place in Sumerian cosmology and I'm not going to deify them. If a demon was honored, such as Pazuzu, then I many honor them. But I will not view Sumerian/Mesopotamian demons as Diĝir.

Third, I am a revivalist with a heavy reconstructionist approach, I value the real history of Ancient Near Eastern religions, cosmologies, and mythologies with a particular focus on Sumerian times (Ur III and prior) for my own faith.

This means I will always stand against pseudo-history, debunk claims, and defend actual ANE & Sumerian history. Ancient cultures deserve to be respected and not lied about. Pseudo-history is a lie.

🔹Last Thoughts🔹

Please do not pray to Lilith for me the mention in the ask made me feel uncomfortable.

Just like the "recreating Christian persecution" sentence in your ask I don't understand the "fraudulent behavior" statement so I can't really address it.

Tone clarification: The tone of this post is meant to be informative and explanatory not hostile and argumentative.

---

TL;DR Lil demons are not Lilith. Lilith is Jewish and I stand by my opinion that she is apart of a closed tradition. Pseudo-history is dangerous and I will always reject it.

EDIT: After reading their tags on this (x) and their rhetoric in the first reply to this post I think its better for me to not interact with this person. So I've decided to block. They've stated their stance and its literally just strawman arguments, many false equivalences, and whataboutisms; I have no time or patience for that. But this post is still useful as a rebuke against pseudo- history in our communities so I'll leave it up, I worked hard on it. I also deleted the original response post since it's redundant now. [Edit 2] The person has been extremely ableist towards me more than once, threatened me, tried to bypass my blocks, wished violent death on me more than once. I did report them and tumblr took one of their posts down... which is not enough but I won't waste my time trying to get tumblr moderators to do their job.

-not audio proof read-

[irrealisms]

You dont have sex because you're waiting for marriage or because being gay is a sin?

man i dont remember posting anything abt not having sex/celibacy/being side b before this ask, idk what this was inspired by. it's probably bait (and, quite frankly, it's none of your business why i'm having or not having sex) which is why i waited almost a full week to answer but i'm going to answer it anyway (once) because i want to be open about this. if you or anyone else is interested in having a discussion on why i believe the things i do, send me a message or an ask off anon. i'm much more willing to be vulnerable in a setting that isn't "anon question that is probably bait".

as a clarification that will probably mean very little to my secular followers but will be appreciated by my side b followers (and hopefully at least mean something to my side a Christian followers): i reject this dichotomy. i'm celibate because i'm gay--but i don't think being gay is a sin. i am gay. i do not believe my existence is a sin. i believe that i've found many beautiful and true things from being gay, and that God made me gay for a reason. i am glad i'm gay, and i don't wish i were straight or pray to become straight. so, so much of side b advocacy within the Church is focused around making it clear that, while being gay comes with different temptations than being straight, it is not a sin to be gay. (note also: different temptations. not "being gay comes with temptations and being straight doesn't".) it would be a slap in the face to not start with that. i share a lot of thoughts on this with eve tushnet, who's also a side b Catholic lesbian; this post was incredibly meaningful to me on my journey, but check out her blog if you want more.

but also, yeah. i don't have sex because i converted to Catholicism with the intent of obeying the Church's doctrine. i note in my bio that i obey the doctrine of the Church. and, well, i can't get gay married as a Catholic, and i'm not supposed to have extramarital sex. so i don't i know that there are side a Catholics, many of whom i respect, but i'm not one of them. i don't believe in "ex-gay" therapy or "pray the gay away" and i don't think that being gay is inherently sinful, but (and here's the part that i assume you're reading for) i do believe that having gay sex is a sin. i follow the teachings laid out in the Catechism, to the best of my ability and understanding. that's in my about page. right now, for me, as a lesbian: that means celibacy. the Catechism is pretty clear on that, imo. i don't talk about this often because most of my friends (and, for that matter, tumblr followers) are queer non-Christians, many of whom have trauma around Christianity and Christian homophobia (which is, to be clear, very real, even if you agree that gay sex is a sin). but like... i'm just living my life. i go to Mass on Sundays and i fast during Lent (or get permission not to from the local priest, when my eating disorder makes it a health concern) because doing otherwise would be a sin; not having sex (or masturbating! which was/is tbh much harder for me to give up than partnered sex! but people ask a lot less about that, because it's less discourse bait and more clearly none of anyone else's business) is the same sort of thing, to me. was it hard (is it hard)? yes, sometimes. but God doesn't just ask me for sacrifices that are easy. maybe some day i'll change my mind again and become side a or deconvert altogether. maybe i'm wrong about things! but this is where i'm at right now.

for what it's worth, i'm happy. i don't hate myself. as mentioned earlier, i'm glad i'm gay and i don't want to be straight. my life is full of love--from friends, family, God. celibacy has had its downsides and painful moments for me, but it's also had its upsides and moments of joy. i've been able to deepen and prioritize and value my friendships. it's been valuable and beautiful and worth it. fundamentally: i believe what i believe, and i'm living true to that. if you want to unfollow me for this, go for it. if you want to filter it, my tag for religion + queerness + being side b is #too gay to live too trad to die.

[oll13v3r]

Comic idea???

OKAY OKAY OKAY

I am pretty sure Ive posted about this a lot, but I have some progress related to ideas!!!

I could maybe call it something along the lines of "Ladybugs and __" (I haven't decided what goes in the blank spot yet) because ladybugs are closely tied to raelyn!!

It's going to take place in a world entirely made up of elves and animals. (I dont know how much magic the animals have yet)

The different types of elves are as follows(For now) :

Wood elves

Wood elves live in rule-oriented village. Because they are able to harness and control the wild and unbelievably beautiful powers of plants or nature, their society is based heavily on keeping that control, or else it all falls apart. Appearances: wood elves tend to have a variety of skin tones. They also have rounder ears that tilt up and down with emotions.

Some examples of wood elves: (Raelyn they/he) and (Elder-Berry he/him)

Lunar elves:

Lunar elves live in small cities where everyone helps each other out. They believe it is very important to be educated on various different things, including psychology, so people can help themselves and others regulate. They are nocturnal. They get their powers from the moon (maybe some form of natural diety or in universe God, but I dont know yet) and they can create light with that magic. (Probably more but I'm not sure yet) Defining characteristics: Lighter skin as to be more moon oriented, and due to less sun exposure, softer down-turned ears, and hair with glowing particles in it.

An example of a lunar elf: (unnamed, he/him)

Solar/fire elves:

Solar elves live on their own in small nomatic families of about 10-15 people in a group. They primarily act as traders, going between elf groups, almost like peacekeepers of sorts. Most solar elves don't get a lot of experience with other ideas besides those that they hear from their families, because of the constant moving in and out of areas, so generational issues are very common within them. Powers: they are the least powerful of the elves, which is why wood elves tend to look down opon them. They can create fire. That sounds likea very powerful ability, but because they don't have any teachings besides those from their parents, a lot of groups don't know how to use their abilities.

Heres an example of a solar elf: (Orian, he/him)

Demons (Maybe) :

Demons are a type of elves that got sent away from the (maybe) gods/dieties of the world because they were seemed as dangerous and unruly. They live in almost wastelands, and have developed into different types of elves over the centuries based on Christian sins. They all have an extremely toxic environment due to generational trauma, but those who are able to fight it form in small groups of found family. They have different magic depending on different type of demon, and for now I haven't fully fleshed them out. Physical traits: Demons have horns (color and shape differentiating between types), red/pink skin tones, hair covered tails, and piercing eyes.

An example of demons: (front, Oliver he/him) and (Unnamed, he/him)

Water elves (Maybe) :

Water elves are my least favorite elves, so I haven't given them that much thought yet. These elves are so drastically different than other elves, because they were sent down to the sea as a blessing from the dieties for being considered to be perfect. Because of that, their entire culture is based heavy on being greatful to the dieites and elders that came before you, even if they don't treat you with that same respect. These elves tend to think of themselves as better than other elves, leading to a lot of messy confrontations whenever they do interact with other kinds of elves. Their culture is also big on beauty standards, more so than other elf types. You're seen if you have long eyelashes, bright colors in your skin, and a well kept and loved tail. There isn't all negatives, though, because they can be extremely loving and curious of different things outside the ocean, especially younger eater elves. Their magic allows them to gain a tail on command, gain legs on command, and to breathe on both water and land. Physical traits: Extremely colorful skin, fin-like ears, long, beautiful tails, and pupils with interesting shapes.

Example of a water elf: (Millie, she/her)

If you have any ideas, such as naming recommendations, I'd love to hear them!! Feedback would also be wonderful!! I will be adding more to this because I have so many ideas, but much thumbs hurt from typing all this out. Feel free to make ocs for this!! I don't think a comic will be out anytime soon, but it is a passion project, so any kind of encouragement means the world to me. (likes aren't very encouraging by the way) But have a wonderful day!!

[nicosraf]

hi i have a bit of a personal ask, feel free to ignore. i developed a theology hyperfixation this year. it started with just being into the imagery and then specifically angels and then i read your book which made me start reading the bible (as well as start learning about other religions). im personally not religious, i was even raised christian but it never stuck to me, as soon as i was away from my christian school it felt right and free. i never doubted how i felt. but now that im engaging with all these religious texts and keep hearing how if i dont believe in this god or that god then im going to suffer for eternity it... has made me feel very anxious haha. i dont believe these gods exist but ive been having "what if what if what if what if" stuck in my brain and its making going about my usual life difficult. (i have ocd which doesnt help). anyway... you seem knowledgable and full of wisdom im just wondering if you happen to have advice for my situation. maybe the answer is just to stop indulging this interest but i do genuinely find it interesting lol. thanks so much for your time!

Hello! I think it's difficult to answer this without getting personal myself but I want to answer because I really get it! I go through some phases of obsessive-compulsive (+ I can really struggle with reality sometimes), and religion is a huge one for me. When I got into theology, I think I was partly motivated by the idea that if i delved deep enough, I would find something that would make me stop feeling bound by what the Bible says. As in, I would find something that would make me go, "Ah! It's all fake!" or "Ah! This god is so evil that I'm better off burning in hell!"

Well, I did do my deep dive, and it didn't really turn out that way. The canon Bible is interestingly nuanced and so is theology. So here is what helped me not feel terrified of the "What if" :

Frame theology in a way that brings you comfort, instead of just taking its warnings at face value. Interpret liberally. If it is real, then you will be okay. The Bible is pretty wishy washy about the suffering of non-believers and god is supposed to be forgiving/understanding. Maybe he'll get it. Maybe he likes you. If it's not real, then you'll be fine; you were for a long time, after all. If it is real, you'll be fine too.

On the point above — if hell scares you, then read about hell. Most theologians can't agree on it at all! When I read the theory that hell might be empty, it brought me comfort.

Read on other religions. I can't emphasize this one enough!!! Expand your horizons. Read about every religion in the world, especially smaller and indigenous ones. Read about how Abrahamic religions have split off and what motivated the splits. I think remembering the human role in what eventually gets to the final doctrines really helps. The Christian elite would want you to get the most fear-mongering version of the text; they don't want to lose you!

You can definitely take a break. My therapist recommended me to stop indulging, but that's easier said than done. And it might be the healthiest option, but I wanted to provide this advice in case you think it might help... I'm not full of wisdom!!! I make nothing but mistakes and I am still learning... but I hope I can reassure you that you're not alone! We struggle together

[scribeforchrist-blog]

What Am I Slave To ?

MEMORY VERSE OF THE WEEK

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+ Psalm 150:6: "Let everything that has breath praise the Lord! Praise the Lord!"

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VERSE OF THE DAY

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+ Romans 6:16 Do you not know that if you present yourselves to anyone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one whom you obey, either of sin, which leads to death, or of obedience, which leads to righteousness?

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** SAY THIS BEFORE YOU READ; HERE’S SOME CHRISTIAN TRUTHS **

I AM BELIEVING IN GOD

I AM CONFIDENT

I AM PATIENT

I AM STRONG

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THOUGHTS:

=======================

When we obey the Lord, that means we follow his will; that means we listen to him when he speaks; that means we deny our flesh and follow him; that means whatever he says, we do. This verse today talks about when an enslaved person is obedient, he has to present himself as that to whomever his master is, and just like us, when we obey sin, we are going down the road to death.

When we obey God, we go down the right road which is righteousness. Sometimes, that's hard to do, especially seeing we have everything around us that could lure us or entice us away from God. Even less can lure us from God because we get so distracted with so many emotions , especially the emotion of loneliness some times we get so overwhelmed with our agenda that we dont hear him speak on the minor things. Hence, we become disobedient. It's so quick to do when we aren't connecting with God daily.

Obedience doesn't just flow through one part of our life. It flows through every part of our life. The moment we decide we will be disobedient to God, it will stop everything else, just like water going through a pipe; one thing goes through that pipe that shouldn't stop the flow of water, and that is how it is in our life.

Some of us will feel an unction from the Holy Spirit to let us know something is different or off, or we will feel we have done something wrong. When we do, we immediately go outside or away from everyone. I tell God that if I offended you and did anything wrong, please show me so I won't do it. We have to understand that we aren't going to be perfect, but when we mess up, we must correct it immediately with no hesitation.

John 8:34 Jesus answered them, "Truly, truly, I say to you, everyone who practices sin is a slave to sin.

Jesus is saying here that when we practice sin, we are enslaved to sin. The bottom line is there is no way around it; we are engaging in sin instead of righteous living. That's what we are a slave to; most people will do everything they can to satisfy their needs and wants, and that's satisfying the flesh; we as believers must have a longing to want to please God with our lives.

Every day, we must live a righteous and holy life through him because with us doing it own or own, we can't; we will always yield to our flesh if we dont allow the armor of God on. A lot of times, people dont understand that in the spiritual realm, we are making ourselves heavy by committing certain sins; God wants us to be free from the things of this world and free from attaching ourselves to things of this world the moment we allow wickedness and fleshy ways in we are opening a portal or doors up into our lives that will cause us to open up other spirits or attachment to our lives. Then we'll be wondering where this or that stems from, and it's coming from where we allow ourselves to allow our flesh to dictate to us completely.

Romans 8:7-8 For the mind set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God's law; indeed, it cannot. 8 Those who are in the flesh cannot please God.

I hear people say I want to relax; I need to do this so I can be free or to chill, when we allow our fleshly ways to be the way that we chill and relax, we will always have a problem; we can relax and chill by dwelling in his presence one morning I was worshipping and praying to God, and I felt this chill go up my leg and I felt a blanket be placed around my arms and I felt so relaxed so content because I was in the presence of God that's relaxing to me.

My friend, we must get to the place where we dwell for peace, dwell to be stress-free, dwell to be with God, so yes, when we yield to the flesh, we are a slave to it, and the only way to change it is to deny our fleshly ways and submit to God.

***Today, we have to understand as long as we obey sin and do the things of the flesh, we will forever be a slave to sin. The verse tells us in Romans chapter 6 verse 7 says we have been set free from sin because we have died to sin, which means we have given up all our fleshly desires to live a life of righteousness; how many of us today have said that God is wanting us to be straight forward and FULLY relying on him for everything! What happens is we rely on other things to set us free; we have to rely on God not sin to give us peace, but from the moment we give God our lives, that's when we should no longer desire sin or the flesh, as we grow in God the desire to sin gets less , and the process is something we have to live our daily for God to take our desires and change them they won’t happen automatically, but today if you are struggling with and kind of vice or something, ask God to help you surrender it all .©Seer~ Prophetess Lee

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PRAYER

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Heavenly Father, thank you for everything; we ask you today to help us to die to sin and not to turn around; give us the strength to carry through this life, Father; we know if we sin, you thank you for the giving us grace, but please help us not to over use it. Lord, we thank you for our lives; please give us a change of mind. Lord, we rebuke the spirit of gossiping, lust, gluttony, and anything else trying to hinder or stop our favor and block our anointing. Lord, we ask you to remove it in Jesus' Name, Amen.

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REFERENCES

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+John 8:34 Jesus answered them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, everyone who practices sin is a slave to sin.

+Romans 6:6 We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin.

+ 1 Peter 2:16 Live as people who are free, not using your freedom as a cover-up for evil, but living as servants of God

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FURTHER READINGS

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Proverbs 7

1 Peter 4

Joel 2

1 Samuel 22

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[bokettochild]

Yet another anon, and a wonky one with a split perspective- because I am queer, and I was raised Lutheran, and while I still believe some things- I think God is real, I think Jesus was real, and I think they're still present- I do not call myself a Christian, and I never intend to ever again, because I have a lot of trauma associated with the Christians I grew up with. Is it fair for me to have a knee-jerk fear response to someone saying they're Christian? No. And I understand that well enough to put active effort into fighting that instinct. But somewhere in the back of my head, all i can think is 'this person is christian and proud of it, they must be like my old pastor, they must feel I'm a blight on god's earth and do not deserve to exist'.

My biodad told me I was devilspawn.

Is that fair? Again, no, this is my trauma getting in the way. But I do understand why some people might have had immediate defensive and even aggressive reactions to what sound like a server made for people to talk about how much we shouldn't exist. I'm missing context, I wasn't part of the Christian server and I'm almost completely inactive on the main lu discord, I Dont Know the details, but if a group of Christians in a fandom I'm more active in grouped up to talk with each other about how much they don't like people like me- i wouldn't feel safe, either. I'd probably leave the fandom entirely.

That's understandable, Anon, thank you for your insight!

Nobody wants to feel unsafe while enjoying fandom. Christians shouldn't be run out, and those in the LGBTQ+ community shouldn't be being treated like predatory monsters. We're all here to celebrate a work of fiction that has nothing to do with any of our beliefs, and with that in mind, the fandom should feel like a space were we can enjoy it freely.

Granted, if LU was a LGBTQ+ work, then yeah, it'd be fine to make the fandom be all about that. If it was Christian, same thing. It's not either though! It's gorgeous art and an exciting story! Something everyone can and should be allowed to enjoy together, regardless of lifestyle, views, politics and any other thing.

I think a lot of people are missing this. And I think nobody should be being run out.