#i dont consider that spreading it around

[daydadahlias]

i know the a&p pic made it on twt too but i dont have an account there and ur the only person ive seen post it here - dont u think it kind of icky to spread around a pic that was deleted right after it was posted? like idk it makes it seem like maybe it was meant to go on close friends or they asked for it to be then down or sth like there must have been a reason yk

ok so ik this may all sound rich coming from me of all people but i don't think we really need to try and make,, every situation relating to 5sos' personal lives an opportunity to have a fan morality discussion. bc 1) it was up for several hours and i literally only just now realized it was taken down so i don't think it's fair to say it was deleted "right after it was posted" and 2) i would guess the reason it was taken down is bc it hit twitter and people started acting the way twitter users act but Sthef has shared MANY photos of perola and ashton before so i don't think it's fair to say it was supposed to be on the close friends and, no, i also don't think it's "icky" to repost a pic of two people in a relationship just literally standing next to each other.

perola and ashton should have a right to be in a public relationship and share that w/ people w/out fans acting weird about it and this is literally a tumblr post that will get under 10 notes so i don't think having it on my blog is comparable to "spreading it around publicly without their consent" if that makes sense.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

sometimes i like to imagine a future where i write that (y/a or adult targeted) dragon book series i desperately want to, but i know that i wouldn't be able to do it without including art in the book. every time a new important character is introduced the next page would have to be a reference / art of them to Show What They Look Like

[lokh]

Honestly I think its mad funny that in the Shuro/Laios au Laios’ Party think it was HIS idea. Like wait till they find out this was from Shuro like that Laios’ proximity chart about to be a family staple passed down from generation to generation, lovingly given to his fiancee.

AJABSBDBXBX 😭😭😭😭 all trust in shuro absolutely fucking lost like how could they ever have thought he was a Reasonable guy... in his defense maizuru is the one that came up with it and he's a pushover and couldn't put a stop to it fast enough. i feel like it would definitely make him more likeable to marcille tho lmao, like 1) no longer attempting to court falin but also 2) Ah, so you too have been influenced by laios....

[sonknuxadow]

every time someone on the internet lies about surge's origins to prove that sonic is canonically trans an angel loses its wings

[boartits]

men will always be inherently less attractive than women simply because they are incapable of yuri and therefore incapable of true love

[yabusame-houlen-official]

I had a strange dream where Aoij was turned into a sea monster, so I had to draw it. Problem is, I kept getting distracted, and I'm sick, so it ended up taking almost 12 hours to draw...

[paper-mario-wiki]

terrific accident:

recently, as ive been iterating and tweaking a brownie recipe i got from my family's recipe catalogue (my cousin collected all of the "family recipes" we had in our small extended family, typed them all up, and it amounted to a few hundred recipes. they printed out 5 copies in the form of binders full of laminated pages and they were passed out among my family members. my family's copy currently belongs to my sister. i dont know why i typed out all of this info, consider it extra exposition from my dialogue tree), and something ive been fixated on is melting the sugar lately.

in the process of melting it this time around, i added the butter far too early at way too low of a temperature and it ended up cooking with the sugar for a bit too long. when i tried combining it with the dry ingredients, i spent way too long working it with the rubber spatula (i was high while making them) and the solids were staying very distinctly separate from the liquids. it wasnt until my roommate came over and offered to stir it with a fork that the gigantic blob of gummy semisolid roasted molten sugar began to break apart and combine properly. as i stirred and the chunks began to fracture more and more and cool rapidly, for a while it felt like i was stirring shards of glass. after a while i thought "this is good enough", even though it still felt like i was stirring 3 parts pudding 1 part gravel, and plopped it in the oven.

what i believe ended up happening, funny enough, is i turned the base of the brownies into toffee. turns out, toffee is just butter and sugar cooked together. the only other thing i had combined them with is a splash of vanilla, so the liquid base was effectively just molten toffee and three eggs.

sugar spread out quite a bit, but not nearly enough to make it taste sweet, and as a result the chocolate part has a very soft bitterness to it, like dark chocolate. and in the base of it there's little chunks of, basically, toffee brittle, which is where the majority of the sugar is, but it doesn't take away from the acute bitterness since it's cooked to the point of not quite being burnt, bringing out an almost coffee-ish taste from it. and it's good! i just had it with some mint chip tillamook ice cream and im really, really rockin with it.

consider doing this if you make brownies! fuck up, i mean. maybe it'll be good.

[taikeero-lecoredier]

STOP KOSA(and cie) MASTERPOST 2024

Both KOSA and the Earn It Act bill are dangerous for the future of the Internet.

In a nutshell, KOSA would allow states to sue any websites that host content deemed “harmful” to minors. With such a vague wording, its expected that any NSFW stuff, educational ressources or LGBT content, will immediately be taken down if govts dont approve of it.

Plus, it will be made mandatory to use IDs to confirm your age when going online, to so called “protect kids” but all that will cause is a huge potential data breach and endanger more kids.

As for the Earn It Act bill, it would allow the governement to spy and filter out anything they dont like in private dms for any users,as well as blowing a hole into Section 230 : The thing that prevent websites from being directly liable in case a user post something illegal,instead of the user being punished directly. The comics I made about KOSA and Earn It Act are old but sadly still relevant. All the info you need are in this post.

•KOSA Comic •Earn It Act comic

•KOSA UPDATE + CALL SCRIPT (Made the April 11, 2024)

•When contacting your reps, you may also add that they should support better bills that will make kids (and anyone) safer by focusing on data privacy legislations instead of KOSA • Contact Congress through here https://www.stopkosa.com/ • House Energy and Commerce are the best to contact for the hearing of 17th April 2024 https://energycommerce.house.gov/representatives (the link doesnt work properly so you'll need to head to the site and select "Members" to find them)

• Find all your Congresspeople here http://badinternetbills.com/

• Find your House representative here https://www.house.gov/representatives/find-your-representative •Never forget to make tweets, posts, tiktoks, or use any social media you can think of to talk about this : Spreading the word will be crucial. As always, if you wish to help us fight against bad inetrnet bills,and have the latest infos about KOSA, consider joining our Discord server (if not, please just share it around) • https://discord.gg/pwTSXZMxnH

[booty-uprooter]

some tips on how to make bosses easier if youre feeling theyre too hard:

play a ranged physical dps class. that way you can hang back to keep an eye on the arena and what the boss is doing without having to worry about needing to stand still long enough to complete an induction

on that note, inductions are considered finished before the bar is full. you can usually move right before it fills and still have it go off, but it takes some trial and error to figure out how close you can cut it

move your ui around. my own life was made immeasurably easier when i put the target right above my hotbar so i wouldnt have to pay attention to both the top and bottom of the screen at the same time, but try stuff out and see what works best for you

the best time to mitigate an attack is right before the boss finishes casting it. the second best time is as soon as the mit becomes available, every time it becomes available

use addle and feint. you almost never see these used in casual content and it's a waste because they really are extremely useful skills at any level

use arm's length and surecast. there are some knockbacks they dont work on but those are rare. if you know youre gonna get pushed, use these and you probably won't get pushed

take advantage of duty support. the npcs know the mechanics. watch them and let them teach you

particle effects cant hurt you (usually). with the exception of puddles that stay on the ground for a while or layered stacks like akh morn, as long as youre not standing on the marker when it disappears (or are if it's a stack), you're in the clear. feel free to move through the animation if necessary. more and more mechanics require you to do so to be in position for the next one in time

it's usually fine to let spread markers overlap. just, yknow, make sure another person isnt in yours (though its the responsibility of anyone without a spread to keep themselves out of harms way)

when in doubt, ask your party members. it's extremely rare to match with a group of randos and have everyone be a first-timer. most players are happy to help, and the ones that know the mechanics but are bad at explaining them will usually just stick a marker on themselves (usually a triangle) for you to follow

read your tool tips. boss fights are as much a test of how well you know your class as they are your ability to read and react to mechanics. unless youre playing a healer or paladin, youre going to use your entire kit, so make sure you know what everything does

on that note, freecure is a scam. once you get cure ii/benefic ii, you will never need cure or benefic again. keep them on your hotbar for when you get synced content if you wish, but otherwise you do not need them. do not use them

if you play multiple classes, try to keep skills that do the same/similar things at the same spot on your hotbar. this isn't always possible bc despite what some may claim, not all classes of the same type are actually identical, but it will save you a lot of headaches

entirely new and unique mechanics are rare to the point of being nigh nonexistent. everything is a remix of something else and practicing in lower level content can actually be a big help

look up guides. the internet is full of them in pretty much whatever form works best for you (though they can be of admittedly variable quality)

turn down party effects. theyre on one of the tabs under character configuration > controls. if you put them on minimum you can still see heals and such but you wont have your screen constantly full of explosions

turn on target health percentage. this one is under character configuration > ui. it lets you better see how close the boss is to going down

make summons smaller. we all love titan's ass but not when it's the only thing you can see. "/petsize all small" will make this problem go away

relax and have fun. panicking leads to mistakes, which can lead to worse mistakes. if you need to take a second to breathe, do so. your party members probably wont mind waiting a minute or two between pulls

[fairuzfan]

would you classify “jihadist” as a slur? personally i feel like it’s mainly used by islamophobic white people who want to demonise and antagonise muslim people.

tbh even “islamists” feels like a slur. like no muslim calls themselves these terms. and i’ve only ever heard these be used when white people are trying to spread hate.

i think there needs to be more discussion within western communities on the language surrounding muslims and arabs (because they love conflating the two). people should be held accountable for saying islamophobic shit just as much as they’re held accountable for saying any other sort of slur/hateful comment.

honestly "islamist" doesn't even make sense as a term to me because like what do you mean? its different from "islamic extremists" (which is kinda a vague term in itself) because it implies something intrinsic to islam that is violent and shady that muslims are trying to push. are you saying that salafis for example represent the majority of muslims? if so, i personally would disagree lol. its a super vague term that doesn't mean anything other than "i hate muslims."

"jihadist" also doesn't make sense because islamically speaking, jihad is a pretty wide concept that means different things in different scenarios. im not going to go too much into this, but "jihad" doesn't mean anything involving armed conflict intrinsically. the way i learned it is that its a "struggle" you do in the name of Allah. so things like studying to be a doctor (as long as it's for the purpose to please God) can be considered jihad. so like, when people use "jihadist" in the west im like.... ok... you clearly don't know the history and context and you're vilifying the concept of jihad overall.

you're right, i agree that these terms are only ever used to vilify and spread hate. when people use these terms they show me what type of person they are. and even when they call people terrorists (which in the united states, terror laws were specifically conceived and strengthened to criminalize palestinian resistance, even unarmed) its obvious that they're doing this to de-legitimize. because they never call israel terrorists because its state sanctioned violence. they view anything that isn't a "state" as terror activity because they consider the state as the only legitimate use of force and violence. israel was literally founded on terrorism of palestinians. but they never use those words to describe israel, do they?

but yeah i generally don't take people who say these things seriously and i don't think anyone should either. of course there are terror groups around the world that are LEGIT terrorists, but when talking about palestine, the media and even the law only calls palestinians terrorists. i dont know how to combat it other than rolling my eyes and talking over them tho. this is a problem within media overall thats so widespread.

[wszczebrzyszynie]

If you don't mind me asking, what did Pearl do to rack up those specific crimes in your science fiction au?

oh to be completly honest i just put crimes that sound most interesting on her wanted poster. She did a lot of things durning her career and many of them she doesnt elaborate on. but most importantly shes a former earthian terrorist, which is the case for a lot of earthian criminals and ex criminals in the story (namely Pearl, Grian and Martyn). This is one of the reasons why her bounty is higher than Tangos at first, considering that nowdays shes more interested in robberies; shes been in the buisness for so long she doesnt even remember her track record herself

being born and raised on earth comes with a lot of baggage. Most of it is destroyed, by wars and catastrophes and simply time, and there is significantly less people than in space combined. Earth, in the eyes of many, outlived its purpose in letting humanity spread around the universe, and therefore isnt really... needed, anymore. theres more work put into easying the immigration process from earth to space, than there is in actually making the planet livable again, and not just a piece of history to be studied. For earthians, it means living in poor conditions and general poverty, with the only solution proposed and encouraged being to leave the planet. In terms of social life, the most notable thing is that earthians tend to stick together; on earth it means the closest social circle, like the village, town, street, while in space it means earthians as a whole, since its not that hard to spot one among spacians. They tend to be protective over themselves and in space there is this general idea of earthian loyalty to each other, as they arent regarded extremely well in spacian circles. (unrelated to Pearl, but this "earthian trust" is something Martyn uses a lot for his benefit, something Grian and Bigb dont trust fully, but Jimmy does). that closeness is why despite everything Pearl still checks up on Jimmy and Grian when she can. Even if they arent related by blood (i imagine Pearl and Grian to be cousins that were raised like siblings, while Jimmy is completly unrelated to them), they were raised like family, and treat each other as such

its no real surprise that a both Pearl and Grian went into crime; they knew how to steal since they were little, and the general disdain for spacians is something they lived with for just as long. the most surprising thing really is just how good of a criminal Pearl turned out to be

(the reason why acts of terrorism isnt mentioned on her poster: not everything is 100% planned out which is why im sometimes very vague about things and the designs change from one drawing to another. it just wasnt something i planned her to be, but it fits with hers, Martyns and Ethos backstories, so here it is)

[blarshwritezz]

I dont know if you write for the Omegaverse..

Because how about a Bully (Alpha) x Nerd Male Reader (Omega) like the two of them dont get the Second Gender until now.. So basically the Bully realise that the Reader is his Fated Mate and dosent want anybody near him, only HIS.. But is really dificult for the Reader to not only Trust him but is also really scared of him..

So Reader first heat is a mess (Like the Bully is constally pound him with meaty d*ck) and the Bully is constally tell him sweet and suductive things to try to calm him down, even tho the Reader is crying because he still scared..

Finally ending with the Reader even more sacred knowing that the Alpha has mated him and posibly '´mark´´ him?

Well, I never have before, but I'll try! Apologies in advance for any mistakes

Yandere Bully Alpha x Nerd Omega Reader

M yan x M reader

TW - Possessiveness, jealousy, implied bullying, NSFW, dubcon

Somehow, since your bully realized you were his fated mate, life only got more difficult. At least you could have friends before! Now he occupied all your attention. If someone made eye contact with you for too long, he considered them a threat.

Honestly, you almost preferred how he acted in the past. Back when he would mock every little thing you did and make your life as hard as he could on purpose. Back when he made you do his homework and beat you up if you refused.

Now, he had you tutor him. It wouldn't be so bad if he didn't make you sit on his lap, or if he actually paid attention. He just sat there watching you work and listening to you teach him. He would hurt his face in your neck and breath in your scent, letting his voice fill your ears.

No wonder he always got so jealous when you used to have friends. It was your fault he felt that way, or so he thought. But once he realized you were meant to be his, he realized it was everyone else's fault! They shouldn't be near what's his.

He completely monopolized your time. Whenever you weren't at home, he was making you hang out with him. He'd try to spoil you with things to make up for how he treated you in the past, but that didn't fix it.

He hurt you. He made your life miserable, and he knew he was doing it the whole time. The damage he caused couldn't be fixed by some nice words or gifts.

He just didn't get it. No matter how hard he tried, you always recoiled from his touch. You always got tense when he held you. You never seemed to believe him when he showered you with praises. You didn't like his gifts. What was he doing wrong?

Maybe you liked it better when he was bullying you? So he tried it. He tried being mean to you again. But that only seemed to make it worse! He didn't get it. Why wouldn't you love him?! You were supposed to! He was your fated mate, so you had to love him!

He could only think of one more way to earn your love.

You didn't show up to school one day, which worried him. So of course, like a good mate, he skipped school after the first hour and promptly made his way to your house. He knew where you hid the so are key, so he just let himself in.

And there was a glorious sight awaiting him once he reached your room. There you were, face buried in your pillow, ass up as you stroked your aching cock. Your scent was absolutely overwhelming, and the sight immediately made him hard. You were already in the perfect position for him.

He quietly walked around you, adjusting his pants to let his meaty cock spring free. He'd help you...prove you needed him. Like a good mate.

"You need help there, my mate?" He carefully got behind you, using one hand to spread your ass and the other to line himself up with your needy hole.

You gasped at his raspy voice against your ear. There he was. The last man you wanted to see right now. He'd surely take advantage of your pathetic state.

But at the same time, just one look at his massive cock distracted you, your mind clouded by thought of being fucked.

He didn't let you answer before slowly pushing into you. He had to take it slow, filling you up inch by inch. He didn't want to hurt you. Not yet.

"Shhhh, that's it, you're doing so good." He cooed in your ear as you whined.

Once he thought you were ready, he slowly thrust into you...but it wasn't long before he lost control. How could he not? You felt so good all warm and tight around his thick cock. He was entirely unable to resist the incredible feeling.

He was relentless, stretching you to fit his huge cock without much care for your comfort. Even when tears began to stream down your face, he didn't slow down. He just kissed them away as he continued his harsh thrusts.

You were just crying because you weren't used to feeling this good. Right? That had to be it.

"It'll be okay, you're taking me so well." He hushed you, his breath hot against your skin as he trailed kisses across your jaw.

Your choked moans only enticed him further. He could already feel himself needing to cum. He's never felt such amazing pleasure before. No wonder you were his.

His kisses trailed lower and lower, down your neck, turning harsher. Turning to sucking and gentle nibbling, until he was biting you. He had to mark you of course, and in the most obvious places he could too. You were his. Everyone had to know.

He made sure you were the first to cum, which wasn't hard. Your heat had made you more sensitive. He was enjoying every bit of that. And you deserved to be the one feeling all the pleasure right now.

As you own cum covered your stomach, chest, and the sheets beneath you he couldn't help but praise you more. "What a good boy...I knew you enjoyed this as much as I did. Don't worry, you have your whole heat cycle to get used to me."

He wasn't going to let you feel needy for even a second. He was going to fuck you hard day and night, filling you with his cum, until your heat was over. He was just such a good mate like that.

Again, apologies for any mistakes!

[bonefall]

i dont think people are upset that the erins "weren't creative" enough with Moonpaw, they're upset that she's just. not a chimera. thats just a longhaired tortie and they justified it with chimerism. which is extremely insensitive because chimerism is a real medical thing that can cause issues in every species, including humans for those that dont know, and thats like. a big thing.

like, yay some disability rep (depending on how they write it. it wont be good. ughh) but like. its not going to be considered a disability when it can be in some cases. they are just going to say "ohh shes so special!!" like some people say with autism in this age (the infantilization of it) and its gonna be. weirdddd

anyways. sorry for ranting in your inbox.

Hey. Woah. THIS is insensitive and I don't know where you're getting this from. NONE of the three types of natural chimerism are a disability and it is extremely rare that fusion chimerism leads to medical complications.

Do not spread misinformation about a genetic condition because you're annoyed about the writing team confusing a common tortie fur pattern with chimerism. THEIR mistake is ultimately harmless. What YOU'RE doing is stigmatizing.

Quite frankly, after seeing a bunch of posts and receiving several asks about this, I don't think half of the people who are getting mad actually know anything about chimeras. I sure as fuck hope it's just ignorance, and that you aren't out here trying to call the state of being intersex a disability.

But I can fix ignorance. No need to assume malice. I will explain what chimerism is, and why you should stop going around implying it "causes issues in every species."

Chimerism is when a single individual is comprised of cells from two or more fully fertilized zygotes. There are two BROAD types of chimerism;

Artifical

Natural

Artifical chimeras are common with the advent of modern medicine. Ever had a blood transfusion? Organ transplant? You are a chimera. Or at least were for a while.

THIS can lead to complications and can cause disability, but it's not what Moonpaw is. She would be a type of natural chimera, which in and of itself has THREE subtypes;

Micro chimerism

Blood chimerism

Fusion chimerism

Microchimerism is so common that I could make a Your Mom joke out of it. It's caused by the passage of cells between the fetus and placenta during pregnancy. Everyone who has ever been pregnant is a microchimera.

While it can lead to complications, it can also be beneficial. Pregnancy could be considered a type of temporary disability, but no one would expect disability rep from every character who had ever given birth.

Blood chimeras are common in species whose twins typically share a placenta, such as cows and marmosets, but very rare in animals like humans and cats which usually don't. It occurs when tissue between two twins is exchanged through the umbilical chord. This type of chimera often ends up with a mixed bloodtype, hence the name.

This is the cause of freemartinism in cattle, when fraternal cow twins cause a sister to share her brother's hormones and act more like a bull. A type of intersex condition, not a disability-- so I sure HOPE you aren't trying to imply THIS should be "disability rep."

And even in the other case, would you automatically expect disability rep from a character that has two blood types?? No. Just like you wouldn't automatically expect disability rep from every character that had ever been pregnant, or every character who had ever needed a blood transfusion

And lastly, the one that Moonpaw ACTUALLY is. A fusion chimera. These are created when two fully fertilized zygotes fuse into a single individual.

These are extremely rare because you can't usually TELL when an individual is a chimera. There is no obvious physical difference between the "halves," with some cases of doctors insisting that patches are just weird birthmarks. They live their entire lives with normal health problems like non-chimeras. It mostly causes complications when DNA testing results in a false negative-- because the offspring of a fusion chimera occasionally end up being their genetic nespring.

Or, the two "halves" are male and female, causing gonadal differences. These people aren't disabled, there's nothing wrong with their bodies, but they're subjected to unneccesary cosmetic surgeries as children because they are intersex.

Say it. SAY IT. INTERSEX. I N T E R S E X. IM GRABBING YOU BY THE SHIRT AND SHAKING YOU THEY ARE INTERSEX.

Can some intersex conditions cause disabilities? YES. Are intersex conditions inherently disabilities? NO. Even when you're discussing infertility as a disability, tread VERY CAREFULLY because intersex people are fighting very hard to lift the stigma over their bodies.

Speak with care. Do not equate being intersex with being disabled. They are two different things.

You can be both and sometimes one could contribute to the other, but BEING intersex IS NOT a disability.

VERY rarely, even MORE rare than standard chimeras which are already very very rare and massively underreported because they are so unremarkable, a fusion chimera will happen LATE in utero. THIS can contribute to a chronic autoimmune condition where the cells reject each other, which is a disability.

And by rare I mean one case. Literally one. Of the 50 reported fusion chimeras in the review I'm referencing, Taylor Muhl was the only one with this. 4 were discovered via congenital abnormalities (unknown if connected to the chimerism b/c they were only tested because something was already wrong), 17 had fertility issues, and the remaining 28 didn't report immune conditions or birth defects but INTERSEXUALITY.

ANOTHER condition is often lumped in with chimerism, by people who do not know what chimerism is, which is mosaicism. Mosaicism, when there are two different sets of genes resulting from the same zygote, is NOT chimerism. MOSAICISM can be a cause of disability. CHIMERISM is usually not.

(Read the review in depth, as it includes mosaic cases for the sake of completion.)

They can both be fertilization errors, but are not the same thing. Follow me, I'm only going to woefully simplify a complicated topic once,

CHIMERA = Two zygotes in one body

MOSAIC = Two bodies in one zygote

CHIMERA = usually fine

MOSAIC = usually bad

And the last possible places you could be getting the idea that chimerism "causes disability" from, to my knowledge, is 1. This study that says the loss of a twin in early pregnancy increases the chance of congenital defects in the survivors (has barely anything to do with chimerism, this link is tangential, vanishing twin syndrome does not necessarily mean it was absorbed by its sibling)

Or, 2, this study of several animals where they correlated rates of benign tumors to % of chimerism based on SPECIES. BLOOD chimeras. It's COWS AND MARMOSETS AGAIN. The study ITSELF calls for further targeted research of chimerism cause of susceptibility to cancer.

It couldn't even link new growths or malignant tumors to chimerism in the mammals of its study. WE'RE mammals.

Correlation does not equal causation. Statistics 101.

So no. That's not "a big thing." Chimerism is fine, they're just very likely to be intersex if they're a fusion chimera of a male and a female zygote. Do not imply intersexuality is a disability. Please get mad about the actual ableism in the series, not the team being clueless about tortie patterns.

Also everyone say you're sorry to intersex Moonpaw. I better see you people making intersex Moonpaw pride flag edits as penance IMMEDIATELY.

UPDATE: Anon apologized! Growth! I still think this is an important post, especially in the context of the wider fandom conversation, so I'm leaving it as-is. Please feel free to reblog.

UPDATE 2: Clarification on infertility as a disability because I didn't word myself very well in one section!

[mariasont]

Hello baby borl can you write a spencer reid x reader where they are kind of awkward but they still are relatively outgoing but they never EVER make the first move so they just vaguely flirt with him but very awkwardly like... maybe they have an obscure favorite animal and they tell him about it and then they compare him to it and its funny bc its like.. a slug or a spider (an animal that many ppl dont like and dont find attractive)

Arachnophobia - S.R

a/n: i dont know if baby borl was a misspelling or not but i am obsessed with it and i will now be referring to everyone as that from this point forward

ALSO thank you so much for the request i <3 an awkward reader truly

masterlist

‧₊˚ ✩°｡⋆♡ ⋆˙⟡♡ ⋆˙⟡♡⋆｡°✩˚₊‧

pairings: spencer reid x reader

warnings: spider! ah!, reader climbing on a chair like that's a little dramatic if you ask me, spencer being a little shit, fluffy fluff, cuties being awkward, comparing spencer to a female spider!

wc: 0.9k

"Oh my god!"

You didn't mean for your scream to be as loud as it was, it was more instinctive than anything, not having enough time to stifle it as you hopped upon the closest desk chair. Unfortunately for you, that chair happened to belong to the object of your affection—Spencer Reid, resident boy genius and pretty boy.

Pretty boy was the understatement of the century. He was the embodiment of aesthetic perfection in your eyes, a vision of loveliness that seemed almost otherworldly.

But that all receded to the edges of your brain, your gaze laser focused on the teeny tiny crawler scuttling across the carpeted floor beneath you.

"Is there a reason you're standing on my chair?"

Spencer's eyes were trained on your shoes, a frown forming as he undoubtedly considered the microbial invasion spreading from your soles to his well-maintained seat.

You couldn't say anything, mouth snapped shut as you just pointed to the hairy thing. He quirked an eyebrow, following your gesture before a soft chuckle escaped him, head shaking in the process.

You narrowed your eyes, not finding the same humor in the situation as he was. "Spencer, it's not funny. Get it please?"

"Well since you asked so nicely." He moved towards a box of tissues on his desk. But you grasped his wrist to stop him, your balance faltering, and a tiny squeal escaped you as you teetered on the edge of the chair.

His hold on your hip was immediate, the closest thing in order to stabilize you is how you rationalized it, saving you from an imminent face-to-floor meeting.

"Sorry," you said sheepishly, a low buzz spreading from your head to the spot where his hand enclosed around. "Don't kill it."

He gave you a pointed look, but then grabbed a plastic cup by the water cooler. You missed his hands on you the second he was gone.

He crouched down to where the spider was crawling around, carefully shoveling it into the cup.

"Don't hurt its legs!"

"I feel like there is a lot of protesting coming from someone who can't even put their feet on the ground right now."

That shut you up. A soft pout found its way to your lips as you folded your arms defensively. His smirk grew at the sight, and you couldn't stop the delightful warmth that bubbled up inside your chest, sticky and potent.

"Once the spider is at a safe distance then I'll come down," you said with a shrug.

He expertly secured the paper over the clear cup's mouth, trapping the spider inside. "All clear."

You watched his hands warily, your lips forming a tight line as you stayed put, eliciting an exasperated eye roll from him. 

"It's not going to hurt you."

"You don't know that."

He angled the cup towards the light, inspecting the bug with a squint. 

"It's unlikely you'll ever be bitten by a spider. They aren't interested in humans. They don't seek us out like mosquitoes or ticks do." He moved the cup in your direction. "This is just a common house spider, known scientifically as Parasteatoda tepidariorum. Completely harmless."

"It doesn't look completely harmless to me," you countered, wrinkling your nose and leaning back.

You almost lost your balance. Again. His hands found your waist. Again.

"How about you come down now?"

"Right, sorry I know you're probably freaking out about my outdoor shoes on your chair."

His hand moved to grab yours as you stepped down. "I'm more concerned about the potential of you cracking your skull."

You beamed, a wide smile lighting up your features as you planted your feet firmly on the carpet. "Eh, I'm pretty much indestructible."

"Tell that to the spider."

You tried to glare at him, but you were sure it came off softer around than edges than you intended, because you weren't really annoyed. Spencer's ease in teasing you was a recent development, it had taken ages to get to this point. The roles used to be reserved, but then you fell in love with him, and now every word you spoke had been nothing but overthought and stiff.

"He is a little cute actually." You stepped closer, gingerly at that, maintaining a safe distance just in case Spencer decided to pull any funny business.

"Well, he's a she."

"Oh, how impolite of me," you said, as you crouched down to bring yourself face-to-face with the spider.

"Interestingly, the female common house spiders are known for its problem-solving abilities when capturing prey. If the first attempt doesn't work, it will try different strategies, which shows a level of adaptability and intelligence."

"Awh, she's kind of like you, isn't she?"

You wanted to slap a hand over your face. You sounded like an idiot. His eyes narrowed, and then that charming little smile broke through, a little uneven, making him all the more appealing.

"That feels offensive."

You couldn't help but laugh, your eyes crinkling in response. "It's not, I swear, that was supposed to be a compliment."

"I'd be careful with those compliments, wouldn't want to inflate my ego too much."

Maybe tomorrow you'd tell him how you feel. Probably not.

taglist: @hotchhner @khxna

[breezybangtanbebe]

“Done with me, huh ?” ExBoyfriendJungkook gruffs against your lips. The flavor of mint and some berry-flavored candy mixed with the scent of his cologne was intoxicating. He rolled his hips against you, spreading your walls with inch after delicious inch that you would never admit you missed. At least not out loud. You only moaned for him as he fucked you harder, chuckling darkly before repeating the rhetorical question.

There was a sinister grin in his tone that made the brat in you want to reel back and slap the smug bastard across the face for toying with you.

For having the audacity to say such a thing considering you told him you were done more than once. That you didn't want to see his stupid face ever again and not to call you anymore.

For him showing up to your door anyway with some lame excuse involving needing to make sure he’d cleared everything that was his out of your apartment.

For you being dumb enough to let him in, falling into those dream boat doe eyes and pigmented tattoos.

You felt like you had a million reasons to palm the side of his face, but it was a shame that you couldnt. The way that he held both of your wrists above your head in his less dominant hand ensured that.

Your ex pinned you to the couch underneath his lean muscular body, your shirt carelessly pushed up, the cups of your bra haphazardly pulled down just enough for him to tease your nipples several minutes ago. It was like a dream the way one moment you were fully clothes, mouthing off to him after he’d asked you a personal question, then his tongue was suddenly in your mouth and your hands were yanking at his zipper.

Typical.

Jungkook pulled back from smothering your lips with his to watch as your tits bounced to the pace of him fucking you. He had the nerve to look this good, his abs contracting as he curved his core effortlessly. His tip kisses your cervix in a particular way that makes you shiver, and your teary eyes burned with frustration at his fucked out expression.

Why did he have to be so beautiful?

“I hate you.” you grit your teeth to say, your jaw dropping and eyes rolling back shortly after Jungkook makes it his goal to overstimulate that rigid spot deep inside of you.

“Oh fuck!” you cry out, attempting to yank your trapped arms from under his hold. Too bad all that muscle wasnt just for show.

The pierced corner of his lips perked up in a parted smirk at the sound of your broken moans, dropping his gaze to where his dick impaled you.

“You sure? Doesnt seem like you hate me..” he mutters breathily. Most likely referring to the creamy band gathering at the base of him with every heart-throbbing stroke. You were sure you came once or twice, the overwhelming pressure of him fucking into you raw never letting up.

All you could manage was a pathetic whimper in response, all the bitterness and resentment for your insistent ex seeming to have faded in favor of desire and pleasure.

You mind told you this meant nothing. Just as the last time didnt. But your body trumped all that didnt involve keeping Jungkook as close as humanly possible.

“Ah’shit..” you hear him hiss when your abrupt orgasm has you damn near squeezing the life from his dick. At that point, he releases your wrists and leans forward to press his forehead against yours. Both of his hands rush to the back of your thighs to push them back, holding you in a mating press that takes your breath away.

“You dont hate me. And you're not fucking done. This pussy is mine, you understand?”

Every pretty word felt like gasoline poured onto the fire in your core. Your pussy fluttered around his thick length as did your eyes. Jungkook fucked you so deep that you hiccuped against his lips, failing to hold onto your sanity.

“And this dick belongs to you baby. Nobody else has me. Nobody has my heart. We cant be done. I need you so fucking bad..God, you feel so good. So fucking beautiful..”

He upped his pace and grew less rhythmic with each passing second. His voice was hoarse and his groans staccato to an octave that told you he was about to cum.

“So perfect for me, baby. Tell me you love me..” he demands and you sob the words compliantly.

“I love you..Jungkook--fuck, I love you..”

His hips snap into you faster ans harder as he pushed himself up, using your thighs as leverage. Jungkook’s brow pinched ans his jaw dropped at the sight of your swollen folds swallowing his dick, your entrance ans his shaft glistening with your cum. Your untouches clit begged for his attention ans Jungkook thoughtlessly lets a thick drop of saliva fall from his mouth, his immpecable aim landing it right on your bud. He unhands your thigh to run his fingers over it quickly, making a high pitched whine jut from your lips.

“Cum for me then. Cum on this fucking dick. One more baby, one more more.” he begged as his fingers and strokes hastened both of you toward the edge of bliss.

Your arms remained over your head, your hands gripping the couch cushion under you for support. You blinked through the tears staining your face to take in the view of your ex destroying you. His disheveled raven hair, spiked and sticking to his forehead from sweat. His sculpted upper body, shadowed attractively by the singular lamp in the corner of your living room. His pink kiss burned lips that shined and remained parted as he panted. His eyes that begged yours for something only you could give.

The sight of him alone was enough to snap the chord in your belly. His name was called to the heavens as your back arches from the couch. Jungkook slips his free hand under you for support, his fingers steadily strumming over your clit while you gushed your nectar all over him.

“That’s it beautiful, there you go. Fuck, I love you..cum, baby. That’s it..” he urged you as your body shook and tensed under the intensity of your release. Jungkook rode your wave as best as he could before he too gave in. He stops rubbing your clit and pulls out at the last possible second to jerk his vieny shaft frantically. His swollen bulbous tip shoots hot white spurts of seed over over your quivering labia. His body caves in on its self, squeezing your waist while his other hand continues to stroke himself. He milked every drop from his weeping tip, leaving massive creamy load of cum to paint the area between your naval and pussy lips.

If you didnt know any better, you would believe that the amount of cum cooling on your skin meant that he was extremely backed up. That he truly misses you as much as he claimed he did. That he’d been with no one else in the weeks you and him had been apart.

Even as he cleaned you up and kissed your shoulders lovingly, nestling behind you on the couch you two had just ruined together, you wanted to believe that he meant what he said. That no one else had him the way you did and that he needed you.

But the stubborn part of you, the part that should have slapped him and left him blinking dazedly with his palm cupping his cheek on your door step...

The part of you that knew beyond his pretty words and mind numbing sex..

That part of you knew Jungkook was no good for you.

Even if your body hadnt accepted it yet.

[valkyriexo]

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾Late night thoughts 002☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

Chan wraps his arms strongly around your waist as you're focused on stirring the boiling pasta. You're in the kitchen of your small apartment, the gentle scent of boiling pasta wafts through the air. He's warm, and you lean back slightly into his embrace, enjoying the closeness.

Outside, the soft glow of the setting sun casts a warm hue over the kitchen.

Chan rests his chin on your shoulder, his breath tickling your neck as he watches you stir the pasta with genuine interest. "I love being here with you," Chan murmurs, his voice filled with contentment as he presses a soft kiss against your temple.

You close your eyes for a moment, savoring the tenderness of the moment. "I love having you here," you whisper back, feeling grateful for his presence.

With the pasta cooked and ready to be dressed, you reach for the jar of marinara sauce, moving carefully so as not to disturb Chan

Your happiness quickly turns to frustration as the lid stubbornly refuses to budge. You twist and turn, trying every trick in the book, from tapping the lid to running it under warm water.

"Let me help you, baby," he says warmly, as he senses your frustration with the stubborn jar lid. "You should never have to lift a finger when you're with me."

You turn to face Chan, a grateful smile spreading across your face. His eyes meet yours, his touch reassuring against your skin.

"Thank you," you murmur softly.

Chan's smile widens at your gratitude. Feeling your gaze on him, he flexes his muscles subtly. His playful demeanor lightens the mood, turning a simple moment into something more intimate and sweet.

"You know I've got this," he says with a chuckle as he gently takes the jar from your hands.

.......and then proceeded to embarrassingly struggle to open the jar as well.

ઇଓ Authors Note; dont ask me what this is LOL . I thought it was funny

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