#unless something changes and i want to do something Else but its been a goal for many years already

[shizunitis]

How do you think Shen Qingqiu would be affected if he had Xin Mo?

holy fuck i've been thinking about this for months and now that i've been asked i'm kind of lost. anon i love you prepare for a whole lotta yapping

the question is vague enough to both give me room to fuck around and to not know what to focus on. so i'll go with trying to figure out what the chain of events would be, mostly. i'm very sleepy though. that should be taken into consideration.

xin mo uses its masters' trauma and psychological issues against them. which means we just have to take shen qingqiu's issues and ramp them up enough to see what that would do to him. how that change would present itself is highly dependent on how he comes upon xin mo, as well.

first off, what does he want? shen qingqiu wants, in no particular order: to survive, to have luo binghe by his side and safe, and to protect his sect from a wrathful luo binghe.

he dislikes violence but doesn't shy away from it when it's expected of him to be unmoved by it. he's a deeply curious person and likes theorising, cultivation, and feeling powerful and respected. he thinks of himself as a "faker" but is proud of his moral stances, especially when they differ from the original goods'.

his biggest frustration throughout the novel is the fact that he cannot protect luo binghe from the plot and all the suffering that would bring him, and that he is under the control of something so opposed to his own goals as the system.

let's say shen qingqiu were to fall into the abyss and find xin mo himself, and therefore the system's control of him would be weakened, as it was when binghe was down there. this would mean he didn't betray binghe, maybe even took his place. this has to happen because he figures out the system is his biggest obstacle, before he gets to xin mo, or else my whole thing falls apart. maybe shang qinghua plays a part in this, maybe not.

it doesn't matter much how, but if he doesn't come to this realisation at some point, he would not place his target on the system, nor would he get the courage to try to change things according to his own wishes.

so. abyss -> revenge on the system -> find xin mo -> cultivate with it -> get out of the abyss.

first off, the sect wouldn't stand for him using a clearly harmful (to both himself and the world around him) demonic sword, or any sort of demonic cultivation at all, so he'd have to hide it if he were to make his way back. paranoia and fear would probably change him into an overprotective person, someone who slowly becomes less careful about what he has to do in order to protect his people, especially when we factor in how he'd had to, for years, live under the control and supervision of the system.

there is also the problem of getting close to the protagonist again. if he were to make contact, the system would re-activate, and his attempt to kill it would be useless.

he'd draw himself away from the people he cares about so he could watch over them. he would study and try to use the sword to change things in his favour, with the right incentive. the harm brought to his cultivation by the sword would probably force him to become more secretive so he isn't discovered.

he would probably seclude himself away from cang qiong, binghe and most of the world. whether he goes into the demon realm or not doesn't matter. he would rely on only himself, unless he can get shang qinghua involved in his plans. i imagine shang qinghua would be opposed to it, not only because the system would be against it, but because shen qingqiu's death or pain would spell his own destruction (by luo binghe's hand) if he didn't try to stop it.

the threat of huan hua palace and people discovering binghe's true nature would probably allow for the sword to take advantage of him more and more as he uses it to fight against them. i don't think the opm would not go after luo binghe, especially with shen qingqiu out of the picture, so i'm imagining the old fuck would offer luo binghe some sort of help just to get him close. shen qingqiu wouldn't stand for it, and we know that as he gets more desperate, shen qingqiu tends toward pragmatism. he would do what needs to get done, i guess.

"stuck between a rock and a hard place" pretty much describes shen qingqiu in svsss. having that not be the system's fault, for once, would probably push him to the edge enough that he does something extremely stupid and turns the entire cultivation world against him in an attempt to protect binghe from the opm's influence.

i don't think he would go too far, outwardly. he would probably bring more harm unto himself with xin mo than binghe had, and would probably suffer more than anyone else involved. him being so tight-lipped about his own motivations would get him scorned and named a traitor to the human realm. he'd have shen jiu's reputation post-trial, maybe. he would become colder, lifeless, honed-in on his goals.

this was an extremely long-winded way of saying that shen yuan, corrupted by xin mo, would become a husk of his former self. i imagine a moment where he tries to be warm again, that whole fond teacher shtick, and would find himself horrified at how much of an act that is now, rather than acting cold and heartless. i think he'd have turned his caring into caring too much to the point of leaving himself behind.

i had a wip of shen yuan transmigrating into luo binghe and having to lean into xin mo's influence so that he could get luo binghe reinstated into his own body that i put on the shelf at some point. he ended up baiting people into trying to assassinate him, and used their sacrifice as a way to power some sort of revival technique.

shen yuan needs plausible deniability for every action he does, especially ones he sees as morally reprehensible. so. add that to the whole thing above and that's the bulk of it, i think. maybe. god please tell me i make sense i need a shizun headpat

[not-poignant]

Hi, Pia! A year ago I discovered you through the Mysterious Skin fanfic, which truthfully has helped me in so many emotional layers till this day (and always will). After that read, I jumped on your profile and was blown away by the world you have created with your own hands. You really inspired me to publish my first fic in AO3 recently (for a random fandom), but sadly I've been having a hard time with it.

At the beginning I was relieved that fear didn't stop me anymore, but then it happened again, it came back, in another form, hitting me harder. I don't know how to explain myself, it's just that I think I'm not good enough, that there are better stories with better characterisations and when I read one of those I think: "This is perfect, I could never achieve this level, I don't have this voice, I should just delete mine, I don't have nothing to say, I can't make people feel this way" and I hate to have those feelings because I think it breaks down the true meaning of writing in general (to help people, to connect, to make a tribute, to have an emotional journey), but at this point I have lost my mind. My dream was always to be a writer, but I left it behind for so many reasons, now I thought things were changing inside me, but I guess it's not the case, I can't even deal with a fanfic...

I just wonder if you have ever feel this way before. How did you start writing? How has it been for you? How do you deal with these things? Feel free to answer me only if you're comfortable with that, I don't wanna put pressure on you as if you were my spiritual guide, but, for all the thoughts and things you share here, I think you are a wise person.

Sorry for the long text, I don't have people in real life to talk to about these issues. I'm really grateful to you already because of your story, it's always in my heart, it's part of me. Btw, I hope you are doing well, keep the amazing work. ❤️

PS: Sorry for the mistakes, not a native English speaker here.

Hi anon,

Congrats on posting your first fic! That's really huge. Even if it does open us up to The Insecurities, it's still a massive thing to do in the first place and I'm so happy for you.

As to everything else, oomf, let's get into it.

So the first thing is there is no writer out there who doesn't get assailed - literally assailed - by insecurities and massive feelings of self-doubt or even self-hatred over their writing (if there is, I haven't met them).

There's no point in writing at which they stop, and if you overcome some, new ones come in their place. I think that's just the nature of the beast - both wanting to (ideally) please at least some of our readers, and also offer something decent to read.

It can help to realise this is a normal part of writing and the experience. Obviously at its most severe, it might require therapy support, or professional support of some kind, but getting assailed by The Insecurities is part of being a creative person.

I don't know how to explain myself, it's just that I think I'm not good enough, that there are better stories with better characterisations

So yeah, this is true. Hear me out! This is true for me too. This is true for every writer that exists. Even the ones who win Pulitzers. This is going to sound blunt, but this is true for every story in the world. I know when I post my works that there are better stories with better characterisations out there. And there are stories that I consider perfect to me. But this last part is really important! I don't get to determine what's perfect for everyone. I'm not allowed to make that choice for them. And also people don't read in order to find The Most Perfect Story Ever, they read for many many many reasons, and that one often isn't even on the list! That's just on our list, when we feel beset by The Insecurities.

Like, yes, better stories exist. That's very subjective. They're better to you, they might not be better to some of the readers who read your work, and unless your only goal in writing is to be 'the best ever' (this is not a great goal imho because it's unattainable) sometimes a simple 'oh...yeah I mean it's true there are better stories according to me, but that doesn't mean that people won't enjoy mine, or that people won't think my stories aren't the best, and I'm not even writing to be the best in the world, so I don't know why I'm listening to this because it's not even what my values are in writing.'

But I also need to make it clear that your insecurities will never leave you 100%. They find new ways to come back, and they do keep coming back. We get periods free of the worst of it, often have low-key doubts in the background fairly frequently, and sometimes feel really good about writing. That's...writing. You haven't done anything wrong in your writing or in yourself when you have new insecurities coming in, and you've acknowledged yourself that things have already changed, because these are new or different insecurities. Think of it like an upward spiral, you circle back to feeling insecure, you have to if you want to keep going up.

You won't stay there forever, but the circling is part of the process. It can help to remind yourself of some cognitively true facts - what you think is perfect in writing is someone else's 'worst story ever' if they read it. What you love to read is not necessarily what you end up writing, and that doesn't mean it can't be someone's favourite story. And yeah, someone has already done something better by our standards, because I don't think there's any point on this journey where we go 'that's it, I've done it, I've become the best writer ever, insecurities begone!!!' (It would be nice, but it's not how it works).

So when insecurities come back it's not 'oh god I've failed at writing and/or keeping the insecurities away' it's - this is normal. You can go 'oh I'm being a regular writer right now, in the hard part of it.' I know this. It sucks. It probably means I need a break when it gets really bad, and I need to recharge a bit. I can keep improving, and my writing doesn't have to be anything other than entertaining. I've pretty much struck perfect from my vocabulary. It's too subjective.

I just wonder if you have ever feel this way before.

Anon, about twice a year I feel so bad about my writing I become convinced that the only answer is to delete all of it off my AO3 accounts. And on a regular basis I go between what I consider fairly normal insecurities (is that closing okay / is this arc good / will people like this character / have I pushed this too far / oh god my engagement is down am I terrible at writing), to pretty intense ones (idk why I do this nothing I write is good / how have I convinced these amazing people that this is worth their time / I wish I could write like (insert X author here) instead of this absolute mid shit etc.)

It helps me a lot to know that some of it is mental illness, but most of it is actually just normal. I'm a writer who wants my readers to have a good time and who wants to write something I can be proud of, and sometimes my brain won't let me feel proud of anything I've done because I made it, and sometimes I don't like myself very much. It means I should work on liking myself more. It doesn't mean I should stop writing.

I started writing as a kid, to cope with fairly awful life circumstances at home. So I was lucky that insecurities didn't matter because no one was seeing my writing except for me, I already hated myself (because people who were supposed to care for me, hated me - there's a reason I write the stories I do!) and I was literally trying to survive something that some people don't survive.

When I started sharing my writing, The Insecurities came. And...idk, I learned how to recognise it as a normal part of the process. It took a long, long time. It's normal to feel like there's something unique about how much we suffer over not liking our writing or feeling like it's bad, that the insecurities say something really true about our writing or even our integrity as a person.

Most of the time they say nothing at all except about the state of our mental health and how tired we are. For example, it's more normal for artists and writers to hate what they create during times of government unrest, or increased oppression, or in abusive households, because it's a way to redirect a lot of very unpleasant feelings to something we think we can control.

Sometimes it just happens because we're tired and the wave crashes over the dam we have in place that says 'go away insecurities.' Like you'd be amazed how much food, staying hydrated, getting good sleep / having good sleep hygiene can actually keep the worst of The Insecurities at bay.

Sometimes we need a break! Too much of a good thing in writing can lead to our brain trying to tell us we're terrible at it so we'll just walk away and watch some movies for a bit! The best way to prevent that is to take a break before we get there.

The good news is, you're a writer feeling something very normal for us writers. The bad news is that it feels bad. It can help to step back a bit, and also to join some writer's groups online maybe, ones that focus on support and lifting people up.

I wish I could say you one day hit a point where the insecurities never come back, but if anything, I don't think you can do these sorts of crafts without them. At their extremes they're not good for us, but the extremes of anything aren't good for us. You're not alone, I promise. The worst you've felt about your writing, is the worst many people have felt about their writing. It's just...often such a lonely process and many writers don't talk about it, but it's there, and it won't last. It's part of the spiral. Over time, you might find it easier when you know it's normal, and temporary, but frankly, there are times it's just really, really hard.

You will move past this, and then one day you'll touch on this again, and then you'll move past it again. Sometimes we spend longer in it than we wanted to, sometimes we need to take a longer break than we meant to, sometimes we write more than was good for us with how tired we were at the time.

It's not perfect, it's not supposed to be perfect, but it is part of the journey, it just means you're a writer like the rest of us writers, anon. I hope you can find your way back into writing more soon! And I hope you can be compassionate towards yourself. You put yourself out there, and have been writing, and honestly that's fucking amazing. I think you're awesome.

[kay-jay-self-shipping]

Words of Wisdom For Fellow Writers

I've been writing stories for thirteen years, mainly fanfiction, but that's as valid and writing a full length novel, given how many words my main story alone has. (over 300k words.) And I wanted to pause to give some advice to new writers, or even writers that have been in a bit of a funk lately.

I read stories as much as I write them, but haven't done so in a while, because it feels like the amount of stories for my favourite characters has dropped significantly as the age of media changes. Hopefully, this little act of motivational speaking will remedy that a little.

Write what you want, no matter how cheesy it might seem. Yes, make your characters well-rounded and ensure they're fleshed out and interesting, but don't be afraid to experiment and come up with new concepts that YOU find interesting! Is that storyline overdone? Who cares, if you would read it, write it, because you're guaranteed to find at least one other person who would read it too!

Don't be afraid of making mistakes! My stories can range from 10k words to 100k words and even further, do you think every word is perfect? One story I've been writing for eight years ended up needing a total rewrite at one point due to some spelling errors and then a software error that caused it to get corrupted. Hell, even now, I'm still going back and fixing mistakes that I made recently! If I stopped writing because of each mistake, my Naruto story wouldn't be nearly 60 chapters long! Try to curb your need for the perfect sentence until you start proof-reading, because you won't get anywhere if you keep obsessing over that one phrase that doesn't sound right.

Imagine your story as a movie in your mind. I grew up watching anime and reading manga, so I find it easier to write if I imagine the scenes happening like a scene from a show in my head. Put in the detail you want, but don't repeat yourself, (unless its a flashback.) Actions speak louder than words, but since words are our tools, explain the actions.

Emotion makes for a compelling scene. I use music, especially sad music to help me put emotion into my writing, because if I can feel it, the audience can feel it. There are so many emotional, happy and angry scenes in my stories that were pushed on by music, and I am not ashamed to admit it. Don't be afraid to make a playlist of music you know will inspire and make you feel, because the best storytelling comes from the heart.

If a chapter seems too long, don't be afraid to split it into more chapters. While my chapters can be 10k to 16k words unintentionally when I know a chapter pushes even beyond that, I split it into two or sometimes three chapters to ensure it doesn't drag out for far too long. If I had kept up my old chapter-writing style, I'd only be 20 chapters into my Naruto story, rather than 60.

Make a habit of writing at least one day a week, and set yourself a word count limit to help motivate you! I learned this one recently, but I managed to push out a chapter I was struggling to finish within a month thanks to my goal of writing 2000 words every time I put my fingers to the keys. I also have at least three scheduled writing days a week to make sure I get work done and don't neglect my love for writing or my desire to make an original series I want to get published.

Don't punish yourself for not writing. I admit, this is something I'm still trying to do, and it is hard. But fanfictions are supposed to be a hobby, and if you have to suffer to make it work, then obviously something is wrong and you need some time to rest. Don't give up, of course, but know your limits and take time to write something else if the mood fancies you. Hell, I did this and I came back to my other stories refreshed and ready to spell out a storm on paper!

There's probably more, but this is long enough, so I'll finish by stating the most IMPORTANT tip for any writer, be it original or fanfiction centered...

Learn the difference between criticism and cruelty. If someone comes onto your story and says "You suck and your story sucks," then that's cruelty. But, if someone comes up and says "I really love this story, but the characters seem a little off here, don't you think there should be more emotion, or maybe a change of heart?" That right there, is criticism, and it is VITAL that you learn the difference. Some cruelty can come off as criticism, so try to go through each one with a fine toothed comb to make sure that you understand and desensitize yourself to the content. Criticism is never meant to hurt you, remember that and make sure you take each word with grace. Delete hate though, no one has time for that, lol.

And this is just a final word. Cherish your readers, make sure they know how much their words make your day, because if you start a project, they might be the reason you don't give up. For all my readers, just know that I thrive when you talk to me, because it makes every struggle worth it if you smile by the end of my books!

Thanks for reading... and writers? Good luck on your projects, you're amazing and as a reader, I love it when you post new content!

(And just to prove how much you need to go easier on yourself with errors, I'm not proof reading this. My OCD hates me, but who cares! I'm proving a point!)

[veetowervaporwave]

Man I am so vanilla when it comes to ships in Hazbin...

Staticmoth: The epitome of toxic old men yaoi. They're just the worst. They push each other's buttons. They both have obsessions on the side but both want to be each other's center of attention. Other people's suffering gets them horny. They got married three times and divorced five times. They know exactly how horrible the other one is but it only makes them more attracted to each other. They're so toxic it's a health hazard for everyone around them. I wish nothing more than for them to die horribly while holding hands.

Chaggie: I've been shipping them since the pilot and I'll be real they were everything I wanted and even more. I always knew that their relationship would be mostly background stuff since they're an established couple, and I was excited to have something where the main character is in a stable and affectionate relationship. I didn't expect them to get a whole little storyarc with the whole angel drama... I'm just. So happy. Seeing them, knowing how much they supported each other over the years when they had no one else on their side, openly working out their issues... They're just everything that's good in the world.

Huskerdust: I feel about it a bit more differently compared to the previous two. I'm happy to see them just do whatever, but Huskerdust stands out because its development is kind of... part of the plot of the show, rather than just being an extra layer to their characters. I'm not even interested in fanfiction for them because I'm too excited to see how it progresses in the actual show.

Radiorose: QPR goals. Alastor having someone he's so comfortable with honestly elevated his character for me. I don't have a lot to say but I enjoy seeing them together immensely.

Appledust: guilty pleasure comfort ship, refer to this post for more context.

Ships I like less under the cut, I try not to be too mean but still, be careful.

Radiostatic (Or, I guess, Onewaybroadcast, rather): I like it a lot but only when it caters to my superspecific tastes. First of all it needs to be one-sided. The second Alastor reciprocates I'm like *Lucifer voice* "Who is this? Who is this man?" Second of all the "hate" part of the "hateboner" is essential (unless we're talking before their falling out). Vox both wants Alastor and wants him dead. It's been swirling inside him for years and had poisoned whatever relationship they had beforehand. There's no turning back from this.

RoyalHalo: I don't know how to explain it, but when I personally ship something "platonically", it's different from just regular shipping and different from having a brotp. Nothing much to say on the ship itself, they're cute.

Cherrisnake: I wish I could like it more but "Meh" is right. I think it has potential, unfortunately 8 episodes a season didn't allow it to develop. I wish we could have had Cherri before ep6 to establish her relationships with Angel and Pentious and I wish they had at least one genuine conversation before the end of the season.

Alastor x Charlie & Alastor x Angel: actually it's not about the ships themselves, just some bad experiences in the early fandom. Ik not all the shippers are like that, especially now when those ships are less popular and a lot of people are vocal about not liking them, but unfortunately I don't think I'll ever be able to enjoy them.

Lute x Vaggie: Nothing to say I just don't like it.

Val x Angel: I put a black line because my knee jerk reflex was to think of people like. Ignoring the abuse, but thinking about it, I do enjoy the exploration of their relationship if it's in-character. It's just not something I personally would consider "shipping". (But then what makes it different from onewaybroadcast? Guess I'm just a hypocrite or something)

"Found family" is a term that's used very differently by different people in the fandom, which is a little confusing to me, so I changed this category to "maybe".

Alastor x Husk: Much like the previous one, except I trust people with it even less after all the victimblaming Husk got after ep5.

Velvette x Vox and/or Velvette x Valentino: I don't ship those personally just for the reason that Vel genuinely seems uninterested, but I support the people who do. Especially the polyvees shipping. There's also additional element to this for me personally is that if Val and Vox were an item, there's a fear that Vel would come off as a third wheel or be pushed to the side, and if they were all together this wouldn't happen. So I have no choice but to support, even if I myself can't get into it.

Guitarspear: Lute ripping off her arm to go help Adam... The last thing Adam does before death is smile at her... God. They were also very fun hypemen for each other during songs, and just the general dynamic was really funny. I would say I like this ship when I see it, but I won't go out of my way to look for it?

Carmilla x Zestial: They're friends... The fanart is nice to look at. It's fine.

Radioapple: I'm conflicted. I guess I am kinda interested in what their relationship would be like in the show, but in fanworks I mostly enjoy the "they aren't actually attracted to each other but everyone thinks they are" dynamic. It's funny.

Pentious x Emily: Ok, one (1) crackship. My friend ships them and I kinda see the vision? Could be cute.

[stateswscarlet]

hi this is the 3p person. how do i stop feeling like im doing this to change the 3D? can i acknowledge that it will change the 3D? im just confused. this manifested really fast but ive fulfilled myself with the state of being with him a bunch so why didnt that reflect like this? idk. im just scared im gonna imagine and enjoy it and nothing will reflect. i was thinking of getting coaching with you because idk what to do anymore. i hate my 3D. i just miss sp.

you need to give up on the 3D fully. you need to accept and acknowledge you (all of us) CANNOT change the 3D, we do not have the free will to do that as our free will ends in imagination. you must really sit with this and decide if you'd rather be trying to chase a shadow world and be frustrated, or would you rather 100% enjoy your imagination and feel good and be stressfree? hopefully the latter. we don't do anything to change the 3D as imagination and who were are is CONSTANTLY reflected, even before you knew about this stuff. we cant make it or un-make it reflect as creation is finished hence why we shift states. knowing the 3D changes is very different than chasing it and doing things for the 3D. the 3D will never fulfill you, only YOU choose how things fulfill you or if they even do at all. you need to understand you only want the feeling, not the actual; physical desire.

its like your shadow, do you only walk and move just so your shadow moves? or do you move because you want to? your 3d is the same, you're not constantly thinking of your shadow when you're doing things because the LAW is that its always there anyways. the law shouldn't be a comfort factor for you because it just is.

as i said in the previous ask about your situation. I'm pretty sure you haven't been fulfilling yourself as much as you think you were, and you were fulfilling yourself for stuff that wasn't even your end goal.

youre relying too much on the 3D and seeing this as smth you have to do to get them back and that is exactly where you're going wrong, you need to give up on changing the 3D completely, as edward art says you need to imagine as if there was no outer world bc the outer world has never fulfilled you and never will.

i get missing sp and those feelings are valid, but you need to realize that your life isn't going to end if you're not with them. manifesting an sp shouldn't be something you need, its something you CAN have and definitely shouldn't be approached from a desperate/needy mindset because that will lead to codependent (not saying you are like this but I'm putting it out there in case there are others). please stop revolving your life around an sp and put your crown back on. YOU made sp special, YOU are the secret sauce, they're just some random who YOU decided means something. you need to realize that (manifestation stuff aside) you will 10000% will ok if you don't be with them because you're more than content on your own and can date anyone else. i say this with love but as someone who was in your shoes and knows how it feels, you will only be running in circles if you don't approach this from a healthier mindset. work on your self concept (don't tie it to manifesting ur sp at all) and LIVE your life, do things that you enjoy, have fun/date around with other people (if you have the chance to bc remember that you're not pretending, you are single in the 3D), and stop trying to get back someone. give yourself the feelings of your dream relationship first and how it makes YOU feel, then add sp into the equation. you don't want them back, you want a fulfilling relationship. how would you feel if they came back tomorrow yet the same issues happened as they did back when you were together before/theyre just not good/the relationship sucks? that isn't what you want, you want the fulfilling relationship so focus on aspects about that and give those to yourself. you don't want their physical body back bc it means nothing to you unless you get the feelings you desire.

[sunkissedliterarylightofchrist]

not the screen time anon but I was interested in your advice there and I'm wondering... how much time do you spend on social media? not in the sense to microscope your life or make you feel bad im genuinely curious how you define that yeah aslfjdsadflasdfasd how much screen time do you think is valuable and what do you cut out?

So my rule of thumb for social media is to keep what is valuable and cut out everything else with no exceptions. So, what is valuable to me, is A) gaining inspiration and advice and learning for things I can apply to my own life, B) friendship C) growing my own skills D) helping others. That's what I want to use social media for. Those four things are perfectly supplied by Pinterest and Tumblr specifically, and I do not need anything else or any other apps or sites to 'keep up' with or distract me from my goals and plans. I also use YouTube occasionally to listen to music or learn something or for my education, but in general it is not a form of entertainment for me either, its almost never something I go watch for relaxation.

But that's all I've got, because it's all I need. Name any other app or service, and I don't have it and probably never have gotten it in the first place. It's not adding anything to my life, so why should I let it waste my time? Simple as that.

I don't want to be someone who aimlessly goes through multiple social media apps, bopping between them mindlessly like shuffling through a fridge, bored because my pleasure-seeking hormones have already been fried by so much passive consumption with no clear goal at all besides the lazy mindless entertainment screens provide that hit your mind specially, rather than getting up and actually doing something productive that I actually enjoy doing and is genuinely good for me to do. I have too far to go in life and too many goals to achieve and too high of a standard for myself to allow that. I don't have five or more hours a day to be spent staring at a screen that isn't getting me anywhere. I have God to glorify with my tangible actions and A's to get and 6 miles to run and my small business to start and my family to love and physically challenging hobbies to get better at that require time and skill. I know what my priorites are, and everything else goes.

Now, I'm not saying delete all socials ever and become a hermit and never look at a computer again. Social media can be a wonderful thing! IF you treat it right. Social media should be a snack in your life, not a meal. I love Tumblr. I've made friends on here that have changed and improved my life for the better so so much. I would be devastated if they ever deactivated without telling me where I could find them, or if I suddenly had to walk away from my account for an extended period of time without warning, I'd be worried about worrying them. If anyone asked me, I would indeed say that my space here is an important part of my life.

But the important thing is that it is not a main part. If I did have to give it all up forever, I would be sad about the friends part, but not the social media part, and I would be just fine. I have so much life and agency and things I love outside of a screen that my day to day would change little. That's the important thing. For so so many people, they barely have a life outside of a screen, and that worries me. I never want that to be me. So that's why I'm so strict with myself about limiting my online time and spaces. I value the real world over the online one.

So if you're looking for how much time I spend on socials, here's a rough breakdown:

Pinterest: Unless I am intentionally researching something for a creative project, I spend less than thirty minutes on here a day. I pull it out once or twice to look at pretty pictures while waiting for something else, like my family to finish getting ready before we go somewhere, but I don't go to it just for the sake of being on it for an extended amount of time- and by extended I mean more than ten minutes. Because most of the use from this app is just passive consumption. Which is not something I value. It's okay in small doses, but beyond that it is not, and therefore, I don't need it to take up much of my valuable time.

Tumblr: This is where almost all of my online time goes. Any and all of my active posting to anywhere is on this site. Because I do not want or need to post anywhere else. And how much time I'm on here depends on the day and how much free time I have. I check it casually throughout the day or make silly short posts for maybe an hour to ninety minutes when I'm taking breaks between other tasks as a rest, looking at it for ten-twenty minutes here and there throughout the day. That's my cap for any passive time I spend on here, consuming other people's content. And honestly, it should be shorter and I should spend less. That's going to be a big focus for me this month, to spend less of my free time on here when I could spend that twenty minutes of rest between my class and my job doing something else.

I treat my longer posts differently. The ones about analysis or answering asks like this one. Because I'm proactively creating something about something I am passionate about. This part of social media isn't mindless or time wasting, spending an hour doing a deep dive analysis on a song from my favorite album is valuable time spent to grow my skills as a writer and thinking and analyzer that will serve me in many other ways. Spending some time before bed going through asks like this one, when people are asking for my help, isn't me procrasinating other important real-life priorities I have (as long as I do it right and don't allow it to take over), its actually valuable interaction and relationships that have a tangible positive impact on my mental health and make my life better. I don't have time to spend on these longer posts every day, and often a single post like this will take me several of me chipping away at it here or there, but I have no problem when I do have the free time to spend multiple hours writing longer posts for my blog here. Because it is incredibly valuable in a multitude of ways.

The key with assessing how much time to spend on it is in relation to my real life priorities and goals and such. I don't want it to take over my life and take away from other things. So I split my free time in to categories. Some free time must be spent actively creating something in the real world, like art, some free time can be spent actively creating on here, and a very small amount of free time throughout the day can be spent passively consuming something of someone else's. I continue to try more and more to make sure I'm spending the appropriate amount of time in each category in relation with my life and goals. And as I grow as a young woman, I am intentionally trying to spend less and less time passively and mindlessly looking at something else when I could be creating it instead.

I hope this was helpful!

[kirkwallguy]

Veilguard so averse to transition that your Inquisitor, the character you already know and have spent time with, is forced into a binary gender and cannot have transitioned in ten years if they had a non-bisexual romance partner. Even though it would have been a handful of lines to change at most, and for the vast majority not even that.

Flynn is left super nebulous. Isabela cares so little about Taash feeling isolated that Hollix being non-binary is a throwaway line near the end, in the worst scene in the whole game. One of the companions (Lucanis? Might be Davrin, I can't recall) stumbles with Taash's pronouns even though he addresses a non-binary Rook without ever missing a beat.

We know nothing about Tarquin's HRT (is it blood magic?? tell me! we know so much invasive shit but nothing here?), they gave no grace to Taash's mom, and trans identities don't feel integrated into the world thanks to all the modern lingo and apparent disdain for the bit of language that does exist. Clearly they cared about depicting a trans Rook but the moment I heard them utter the word "trans" without any context felt a bit sad. Yeah we exist but where is our community, beyond twenty genders in Tevinter codex from a non-Tevinter character?

EXACTLYYYY... it's just a bunch of tiny missteps that all come together to create this really weird and anti-transition image

the inquisitor is like. fine. they have engine limitations and already can't account for worldstates as well as having to reckon woth gay and lesbian romances so it would need a level of sensitivity that they don't have time for. but imo continuing to gender-lock the only romance that actually matters is kind of antithetical to the game's branding as queer friendly. if you want to experience as much romance as possible your inquisitor HAS to be a cishet woman, and by default the inquisitor is this cishet woman. no other inquisitor experiences extra content aside from a queer man who will have some weirdly homophobic 'we're old friends' bs... when talking about inquisitor limitations i feel a little silly because mine was so obviously not going to be catered to and i wasnt expecting that but like... It so clearly reinforces this odd binary heteronormative lean that it feels extremely weird

and yeah. i think the best parts of the trans writing come from rook. they say some really interesting things but then as soon as a companion or anyone else responds the illusion is broken, especially the discussion i had with davrin during my romance (and potentially any other romance?). it just feels hollow and meaningless and not something that affects their character in a material way. i definitely felt like it was more about the player being trans than the player character being trans. which, again, is fine! but i won't praise it as good writing nor will i say it works well in da worldbuilding

it does just feel like trans characters are thrown in with little thought and their experiences aren't cohesive at all. if we're suddenly in a utopia where transition is fine and trans people are rarely discriminated against even in conformist societies such as tevinter (unless their parents are from a Bad Evil Regressive Backwards Qunari Society such as taash's or Poor such as tarquin's), then why not have the world around us reflect that? it's origins trying to say that misogyny doesn't exist then throwing you into a clearly patriarchal society all over again. it's a massive undertaking! to write about a world like this it honestly has to be your main goal because of how much your real-life experiences in a binary society will creep in. even some of the best writers that try to capture this experience often can't do it fully - just look at the discussion surrounding the left hand of darkness (one of my favourite books of all time, if you're at all interested in gender in spec-lit PLEASE read it despite its shortcomings.)

[jotadoul]

With a sad smile, Folken admits that he doesn't have long to live anyway— the death which was originally staved off by Dornkirk has been catching up to him ever since. This is, definitively, a suicide mission.

i wrote this in my bigass episode by episode breakdown, but since no one's gonna read all that, i'll let it be unread in its own post lol, because i think this is the most articulate i've ever been about this topic. but to the one or two people who do read what i post: thank you. you Will be rewarded by the narrative.

Folken's black wings are a literal metaphor. It's an in-story sign that he's dying, and it's so we can remember "what you put out into the world is what you'll receive" by pinning it to something visual. Remember, Folken is the one who brought the golden rule into this. The zone of absolute fortune is simply a place where action/reaction, giving/getting (lol) is happening at an almost instantaneous clip. And the toll was acceptable to him because of the trust and love he put into Van and Hitomi.

Escaflowne tells us that violence begets violence. Live sword die sword. Violence isn't cool, it's not good, it eats at you, depletes you, sets the whole world back, war is barbarism we must move beyond, and love will help us do that. This is something that Folken and Van themselves talk about. But look: If that's the case, then Folken killing Dornkirk demonstrates one of the only truly righteous acts of violence portrayed in the series— an act of violence the show tells us is necessary in order to bring about much-needed change. If that's true, if what occurs must be done and ultimately (beyond Folken's death) yields a net positive, then he should be rewarded for it, not punished.

Unless... was killing Dornkirk... the wrong thing to do...? He was very much a villain, this paragon of Western thought trying to force his will onto an entire world by reviving a horrific machine which had previously caused an apocalypse, in a story that is essentially saved by more Buddhist thought. Folken was right, Dornkirk wouldn't listen, and he couldn't shut the machine down even if he wanted to, and he didn't want to. I don't thiiiiink we're supposed to believe Folken was wrong, only that it's all deeply unfortunate (har har.)

The series is blending the Newtonian idea of cause/effect (every action has an equal and opposite reaction) with the Hindu/Buddhist concept of karma— a moral framework. The story mentions karma by name. These basic concepts are the same in reality and in the show.

Right? So they're also being approached as the same/similar within the story (explored/critiqued.) Things might be somewhat random in appearance, but everything is bouncing off of one another. That's also why there are so many parallels, foils, cycles within the narrative. Within our scope, everything is affecting everything else. And that's really important for us to know, because we can track the characters' choices and ramifications of, or reactions to, those choices.

Maybe "punishment" is too strong a word. One of the strongest messages in this story is that rising to violence and war are wrong. That's a fact, pacifism being the ultimate goal. Which means, even if things are random and just/unjust doesn't quite work here, acts of violence are wrong. The dragons alone prove this. So...

What about Hitomi interfering with Van's death in the same way Dornkirk interfered with Folken's? Does that not push off Van's death for some later date, too? What about all of the senseless, "insignificant", gruesome deaths that Van and Allen have caused? Dilandau was just an identity grafted onto Celena, but if that's what nullifies consequence for him, that's an egregiously cheap way of avoiding the same implications. (And they knew that, too, which is why Celena is unwell even after she comes back.) What about the deaths Hitomi herself is blamed for causing? Van wields THE titular war machine, and in episode 23, we know he's doing it to impress a girl. Van has experienced trauma in this process, but so has Folken. They grew up under the same conditions, after all. Many things that were out of Van's control were also out of Folken's control. Folken did also try to keep Dilandau in line, to no avail.

If Folken had instead used violence in an effort to prevent Dilandau from causing further violence, maybe even dealing out the same fucked up corporal punishment Dilandau does, I think a lot of people would be pretty upset about that. Would they be upset because of the violence itself? Or would they be upset because Dilandau's the one on the receiving end? And... for all of his military strategising... do you think it's in Folken's nature to hit a kid?

A chance at forgiveness between the characters and between the viewer + characters is important in this story, no matter what you choose to do with it.

If death is the result of even a righteous action, a series of righteous actions intended to make up for harm done, how much did any of the story's previous points matter? If there is nothing one can do to make up for their wrongdoings, then what significance could there possibly be to Hitomi proclaiming that she doesn't believe in predetermined fate? Clearly that's supposed to be meaningful (since we ditch the pendant, tarot, and Escaflowne itself) to tell us that the course of fate can be changed at any time— except if Dornkirk's been manipulating you the whole time. The series asks you to consider what happens when the conditions in which your actions take place are ones you have no control over, like, the things that people do if everything has set them up to only be able to make one type of choice. That, the story says, is why a violent environment makes people choose violence. Hitomi is there to break everyone out of samsara, but Folken's own break from— and defining of— samsara and ignorance or whatever (and this can be heavily critiqued still) is what helps her do this. So I guess Folken's death proves

Nah actually fate is predetermined and you will have comeuppance even if you do the only thing you have control over: change your behaviour completely

And no, sometimes, or maybe just for you, Folken, even if you're at the mercy of a cruel environment/a manipulator, you should still be punished for what you did in that situation.

Which... okay? It's not very satisfying, but I guess I could accept it. Even still it wouldn't make sense for Folken to be the final picture/bearer of those concepts, even less when people like fucking... Adelphos and Dilandau make it out alive. And I like those guys, lol!

This is also what happens in the film, but it's far less complicated. (The drama CDs flesh everything out much more, and it's very sad.) In the same instant that Hitomi and Van finally understand Folken's motivations, everything he's done swings around to take his life. The film still wants to portray this as an unfortunate tragedy— it's a realisation come too late, bad behaviour has consequences even if he changed things around in that moment, but it gives you a fraction of a second to think something may change. The film strips away a lot of the explanations to hone in on a few core concepts of the series, and simply takes Folken's actions in a different direction, to a different conclusion— and by doing that, proves what he did in the series was, uh, better.

Nobuteru Yuki even said the film could've easily excluded all the other characters and only been about Hitomi, Van, and Folken. Because it basically is, lol. Aaaaand in the film, Dilandau doesn't have Celena to fall back on— he lives to commit more war crimes lmfao.

The more I think about this moment, the more it tears down the story's construction. It stands in direct contradiction of everything that's come before it, and unfortunately, being where it is, that's... the entire story. It's a domino effect of seeing other contradictions between aspects of the story. When a story is driven by characters and emotion, I am willing to forgive pretty much anything. But the things Escaflowne wants us to remember are repeated over and over. They're the rules it chose to play by. If anything, perhaps it explains too much, and not enough is allowed to fall away! That's why moments that don't make sense really don't make sense.

And you know, maybe that's why people think Folken didn't matter as a character: because if Van and Allen are miraculously spared (honestly? it's insane that Allen lives) then that means all the death and destruction they caused was actually morally right, because, well, they're rewarded, aren't they? And if Dilandau is effectively allowed to live, that means his actions weren't so bad either. So instead of ~interpreting~ Folken's death or its flatness as damning evidence of subpar writing, they see it as damning of his character.

The consequence of Folken's death is that it reaches back through the whole series and upends much of its message. I actually do understand the team's reasons for "why" it's there, I understand what it means, because this isn't the first time something like it has occurred in fiction lmao. But that's part of the problem. Its greatest crime might be that it's one of the most uncreative aspects of an overwhelmingly inventive story.

[agalychnisspranneusroseus]

Out of curiosity, what's your opinion on Amphibia's decision to have Marcy in a coma and possessed for 95% of season three?

I have mixed feelings about it, I wish she'd gotten more screentime because she's my favorite character and I love her, but I understand she and Sasha are relatively secondary characters compared to Anne and the Plantars so I don't expect the new fave to just take over the show overnight. I do think a big part of the first half of S3 felt like a waste of time that could have been better spent, like, I would have dedicated at least one or two more episode to Marcy (and one more to Sasha), though I don't know exactly what for. I just have a vague idea of "eehh, I feel like a little bit more Marcy is needed here". Plot-wise, I think there's not a lot of space for her in S3. She's stabbed at the end of S2, then possessed, then Sasha breaks her free and they immediately need to fight the big bad together. There's not a lot of space for More Marcy in between these plot points unless we mess with the pacing. We have:

A longer Olivia and Yunan in which Marcy gets to do more stuff?

More episodes of Marcy inside the Core?

A Marcy-centric episode after she's released from the Core before the three girls leave to fight it?

I don't know what ELSE she could possibly do in Olivia and Yunan. I'm talking about quantity (of time) rather than quality here because character-wise that's another discussion. If we're talking about just screentime, I think Olivia and Yunan kinds covers it just fine. It doesn't meas with the pacing and it does what it has to do.

More Marcy in the Core would only be justified if we give her something to DO inside there, which is a good solution because she certainly can take the oportunity to do research into its memories and stuff, learn its weaknesses, resist its attempts to integrate her etc etc. I think the best option would be to give her an actual goal in there, idk if that would constitute "fighting back" necessarily (because I think making her completely helpless and dependent on Sasha to release her has a narrative meaning I don't want to lose) but if she's trying to go behind the Core's back to find information, that would give her more stuff to do and therefore more screentime. The thing is, we already have an episode seeing Marcy inside the Core, so idk if that would make a huge change quantity-wise.

That leaves us with the option of giving Marcy time to recover before the big battle, which... would really mess with the pacing.

Quality-wise there is some stuff we can do. She never properly confronts Sasha, for example. She never has any kind of conversation with Anne about what happened in True Colors. I think a solution to this would be to not make Darcy completely separate from Marcy, but to fuse them together a little bit. This might be a very silly example but I'm thinking about Nightmare Moon and Princess Luna from My Little Pony and how they're the same person but also like... Nightmare Moon is her evil/corrupted side? I would have loved to see Marcy be brought down to her lowest moment and somewhat "accepting" joining the Core, which wouldn't mean she's willingly joining Andrias, just that she's... giving in. She loses the will to fight in a very emotional, non-rational way. It's not as much a decision as it is her being dragged by the current, half-unconscious. Darcy then WOULD be Marcy, in a way. She'd be her worst and most repressed side brought to the surface, stripped of all inhibitions, trapped in this irrational haze. In that way, Darcy fighting Sasha is actually Marcy fighting Sasha through the metaphorical lenses of a mental breakdown. She's still possesed but in large part, she's also just corrupted, and that leaves enough space for her to continue with her character arc.

I think having Anne think about her more and actually talk to her parents would change a lot. It wouldn’t give Marcy any more real screentime but it would give her more presence if you know what I mean. Another thing that would help would have been to give Sasha an extra episode dedicated entirely to her grieving Marcy, if only to expand on their relationship.

TL;DR: I too wanted MORE MARCY in S3 but think it'd be really difficult to make it work without changing huge chunks of the plot. Imo the solution to give the viewers MORE MARCY lies in the nature of Darcy rather than not having Marcy be possesed, in a coma, or just randomly giving her more episodes, which would mess with the pacing. Quality > quantity is what would work in this situation.

Finally, ik this is a controversial topic and people tend to get really mad over it, but I don't like to complain too much (just a little) so I want to clarify that despite the constructive criticism I would offer the writers, I still love the possesion arc, I love Darcy and I love this show. Solid 9/10 I enjoy it a lot despite its problems and the lack of Marcy in S3 hurt but it's something I can tolerate. Sadly sometimes we need to accept our fave simply isn't the main guy and that's ok (that's why we have fanfics! Currently I'm reading awiw and I'm eating it up!)

[20001541]

there was a time where I got into an argument with someone who believed the purpose of chapter 407 was to show that AFO was born evil and though the circumstances in his childhood were tragic he still was a lost cause from the very beginning. they believed that he was shown to us as an example of someone who is too far gone to be saved. and why did they think that? they told me it's because the story has not taken any measures to reach out to him as with the other villains.

and it is interesting isn't it? afo has one of the most horrifying and tragic backstory in the manga and yet we do not see anyone making an effort to try to understand him. he is only seen as a threat to be eliminated.

and while I wouldn't mind this sort of attitude if it were in any other series, bnha has shown us multiple times of heroes reaching out to those who got left behind by society and took their wrath out on everyone as a result. so the fact that afo who was screwed over by life from the very moment he was born does not seem to get this same grace extended to him sticks out to me. it is one thing to dismiss him as being too evil, but if you're going to show me in explicit detail about all the tragic events that were out of his control that happened to him as a child then I would expect there for more to be done with that.

now you could make the argument that afo could've been saved as a child but now it is too late to change his mind. I would've agreed with that if it were not for the fact that we are shown his own humanity throughout the story. we know he feels some guilt when faced with the vestiges of the peoples whose quirks he stole in his sleep and he's able to feel fear as he had nightmares about his first fight with all might. his own main goal is to have the worlds eyes upon him because he wants to be noticed after a lifetime of being ignored. however, the biggest display of his humanity is shown to us through his feelings towards yoichi.

some of the most genuine displays of emotions we see from him are because of yoichi. yoichi is someone who had been with him from the womb and he is someone he cares about more than anyone else.

he has spent the last century chasing ofa not because of its power but because it has one of the last pieces left of his brother after he died. we're even shown how he kept yoichi's severed hand, it's a raw display of sentimentality and regret over what he did to his brother.

and while he claims yoichi isn't the final goal, only the midterm goal, one shouldn't underestimate yoichi's importance to him as we see him chase after him even when it would've been more beneficial to just let him go. he had two chances to end the ofa line for good before it became too powerful as we see with banjo and en, and yet he didn't take it because he couldn't bear to let go of yoichi. and let no one forget his line "yoichi without you, it's all for naught" from chapter 410.

so why am I saying all of this?

honestly, I'm hoping for a different ending for afo that's not him being defeated and humiliated once more.

I'm not trying to justify anything he has done nor am I an afo apologist, but if other villains could get the chance to have a hand reached out towards them then why can't afo? why else would you show me how terrible his childhood is and the displays of humanity within him unless you're trying to show us he isn't a complete lost cause?

we saw how izuku was willing to listen to muscular as to why he was doing all this, but muscular didn't care to speak so they fought instead. there was no backstory nor any attempt to show muscular as something other than a bloodthirsty killer.

why not have the same treatment with afo if your main point is to show he is a lost cause? yes afo doesn't deserve any grace or kindness towards himself, but isn't being a hero reaching out to other even when they don't deserve it? certainly none of the other villains being reached out towards didn't deserve it after all they've done. so maybe just maybe I am hoping for a kinder ending for vestige afo. an ending that will put to rest all the "he was born evil and is a lost cause" arguments and shows us the who he really is underneath the mask he has worn for all these years.

my biggest hope here is that yoichi's vestige isn't gone permanently, but it still exists. how will he come back and how did he survive the whole being smashed against tomura? I have no idea. as I said its just a hope. but if there is anyone who could reach out to afo as of now and have the moment be impactful it would be yoichi.

there's a lot of bad blood between them and yoichi did give up on afo when they were alive, but considering how depressed afo is now that he thinks yoichi is gone forever and that he doesn't see the point of ruling a world without the one person he wanted by his side the most and how yoichi took no joy in seeing him being beaten earlier there's a chance a final reunion between them could happen.

afo built too much of his image being the evil villain that he doesn't know what else to do, which is why he's still trying to conquer the world even though he feels its meaningless now without yoichi. I think this all leaves afo in a very vulnerable position emotionally right now.

yes the heroes will defeat and his vestige will fade away forever, but I'm hoping for yoichi to be there with him at the very end and they decide to put everything behind them and fade away forever together. maybe we will also get to learn his true name through yoichi and see his humanity fully out on display. no more struggling between them, but just them being brothers once more right before the end.

[natsmagi]

tbh you should just sexualize your fem Tsumugi more. I'm talking full on fetish hentai style. Put her in the open boob sweater. Have her accidentally flash while leaning fowards. Have her slip and show pantsu. Full kink with no breaks. Please shut these anons up. People trying to police your creativity like it has some sort of reflection on your morals or beliefs. I also wish you would stop answering them? or at least tagging it as anon hate because it's so sad to keep seeing people be so mean to you over and over when most of us just want to enjoy your big brain takes and drawings. Maybe I'm getting parasocial bc I get so sad seeing people hate on your Tsumugi I love her she's just like me fr!!! All that matters is that you enjoy how you draw her and I hope you don't feel pressured to change your headcanons.

HWEISUHRUHKDHG I SHOULDDDDDDDDD I SHOULD UR RIGHT ive been too prudish as of late. need to be insane again. Tbh ive made some art that was made purely bc i am a freak and insane but i feel like its never the art people would expect it to be. And thats really funny to me. like my more explicit stuff is just drawn for fun But if uve ever looked at a drawing of mine and gone "this seems kind of freakish conceptually even though the execution isnt super weird" Well thats probably bc it actually is freakish. sorry. My suggestive art is usually just for the vibes tho i DID also like. yesterday?? discover a twt acc that will sometimes post various lingerie fits SO!! MAYBE ILL DRAW SOME SOON 💪💪

AND AUGHHH I KNOWWWW in the beginning i thought itd be worth replying to people bc i was like "well this is all kind of niche. im sure they have good intentions so we might aswell talk it out" But as things progress its been made clear thats doing me or anyone else no favors. i love having discussions, so i reply to most of my asks! but i do hope that ive made myself clear enough and that we can all just continue doing our own things im sorry to hear its made you sad though!!!!! rest assured its not something that demotivates me, nor is it something that makes me feel i need to change how i draw. i do what i do because i enjoy it! and i know others enjoy it too! i will never be able to appeal to everyone, and that has never been my goal. i like having fun with others though, which is why i enjoy hearing why others might think differently than me!

but yes! i already feel ive said my piece on the whole discourse thing by now and i hate walking in circles, so even if i get negative asks about it i likely wont answer unless i feel its warranted. but! if that does happen, ill be sure to tag it! you can mute "#discourse tag" ahead of time incase i ever end up using it

[bjfinn]

LILY

Barbara looked at the clock on her bedside table -- 1:16am. She sighed, dismayed that she hadn't yet fallen asleep. Of course, being a ghost meant that she didn't actually need to sleep, but it was still a good way to recharge. Besides, what else was there to do at night?

She turned in the bed to face her husband. Adam was fast asleep beside her, snoring softly. A wave of emotion washed over her as she gazed at him in the dim moonlight coming through the attic window. Love, most definitely -- but regret as well. Regret for the life that they could have had together, if it hadn't been so suddenly cut short.

"Adam?" she whispered. "Adam? Are you awake?"

Adam mumbled something in his sleep and rolled over.

Barbara sighed again. At least we're still together, she thought. Together forever.

Forever. A word that the living -- breathers, as Beej called them -- bandied about, with no real understanding of its meaning. To them it meant until death -- how could it not? The living had no real clue about what death really was. She and Adam certainly hadn't.

But death -- that was forever. An unending eternity of existing but not living. An eternity of unfulfilled promises, unattained goals, unmet hopes and dreams. Now that they were dead, she and Adam would never have the children they'd so desperately wanted -- they'd never even know why they'd been unable to get pregnant.

Of course, they did have a family of sorts -- the Deetzes were wonderful people. Charles and Delia, after all was said and done, had welcomed the Maitlands' continued presence in the house, and Lydia was like a daughter to them.

And then there was Beej. Barbara smiled at the thought of the half-ghost/half-demon, unhinged, lecherous, psychotic and potentially murderous, who had unwittingly brought this strange and unusual family together.

Her thoughts returned to the Deetzes, and her smile faded as she realised that she and Adam wouldn't get older, but they'd have to watch as Charles and Delia gradually aged and grew infirm. They'd have to say goodbye to Lydia when she left to begin a life of her own -- would she still come and visit once her father and stepmother were gone? Of course she won't, Barbara thought, unless Charles leaves the house to her in his will. And even if he does, she might decide to sell.

Would she and Adam be able to leave the house then? Or were they bound to this place for all eternity, only able to venture out if a living person sent them on an errand? Beej could come and go as he pleased, now that Juno was gone and her curse on him broken, but that was different -- he'd been born dead in the Netherworld. He'd never been alive -- well, except for the two minutes after he and Lydia had married.

She sighed again and smiled wistfully. In some ways, she and Adam had experienced more in death than they ever had in life, but still ...

"Barbara?" Adam asked.

"Did I wake you?"

"What's wrong?"

"I was just thinking about ... eternity," she replied. "What that really means. Watching everyone else grow old, while we ... stay the same, never changing, no more hopes and dreams, no more plans for the future, just ... this. Death. Till the end of time."

"Bunny --"

"What's the point of it all? I mean, if this is all there is -- if this is what being dead is, then ... why isn't it just the end? We can't do anything! We can't ... everything we planned for our future is ... dust."

"We still have a future," Adam said. "It's not the future we expected, but ... we have our home, and a family. And we still have each other." He put his arms around her. "I know it's not what we planned, or expected, but it's still good -- isn't it?"

"I know," Barbara replied, tears spilling down her cheeks. "I know, but --"

"But you just want to know what it all means."

She nodded against his shoulder.

"I wish I had an answer, honey. I always figured that the meaning of life was for each of us to decide. And for me -- that's you."

Barbara laughed through her tears. "That's so corny!"

"It might be corny, but it's true." He kissed her tenderly. "Maybe ... maybe we were meant to die, so that Beej could be here to stop Lydia from killing herself. And maybe now our purpose is to watch over her, and Charles and Delia -- to be there for them, to help them all to rebuild their lives."

"I ... I don't know that that's enough," Barbara said. "There's so much we wanted to do with our lives -- and now ... now that we have all the time in the world ... we can't do any of it. Because we're dead.

"We'll never get to go to Venice or Florence, or Greece, or Spain -- or even ... I don't know ... Pittsburgh! We'll never ... we'll never meet the children we might've had -- they'll never be born."

"Barb," Adam said gently, "even if we hadn't died, there's no guarantee that things would've gone the way we wanted. The fertility doctor we were planning to see might not have been able to help."

"But at least we'd know why, Adam," she told him. "We'd know what the problem was. We'd have some ..."

"Closure."

"Exactly -- closure." She sighed. "But now it's too late."

Adam was silent for a moment. "Where do babies come from?" he asked.

"What?"

"I mean, their souls? They must come from somewhere, right?"

"What are you getting at?"

"You said that we'd never get to meet the children we might've had. But what if we could? What if their souls already exist, waiting to be born?''

"What if they do? There's no way we could possibly find them."

"Maybe Beej could," Adam replied. "If anyone would know how to find them, it'd be him, right? After all, he is a demon -- and he's family. Maybe there's a part of the Netherworld that's reserved for the souls of those who haven't been born yet."

"Even if there is," Barbara asked, "how could he find our children? We wouldn't be able to tell him anything about them -- none of the souls would have names yet, or ... personalities, or anything. They'd just be ... blank slates. Identical."

"Yeah, you're right," Adam sighed, pulling her close and stroking her hair. He wished there was something -- anything -- he could do ...

"Make love to me," Barbara said softly.

"A-are you ... are you sure?"

She nodded against his chest. "I'm sure," she replied.

*****

"That was wonderful," she said afterwards, snuggling against him.

"Glad I could help," Adam replied with a chuckle. He moved a lock of her hair from her cheek and kissed her gently.

"Mmm -- you were a big help. We don't do that enough."

"Well, it's kind of hard when Beej is here between us half the time." He sighed contentedly. "I'm glad he visits Dewey on a regular basis now -- it gives us some ... quality time once in a while."

*****

The next morning, Beej returned from his latest trip to New York.

"Hey, guys!" he said, materialising in the kitchen just as the family was sitting down to breakfast. "Ooh! Waffles!" he said, licking his lips and reaching for the pastry.

Barbara slapped his hand away. "Fork," she said.

"Fork you," he replied with a grin, sticking his tongue out at her. She drew back her fist, and he flinched. "Okay, okay -- jeez!" He picked up a fork and stabbed it into the pile of waffles, spearing three of them, and then took his seat. "You know, Babs," he said, pouring syrup over the waffles, "you're hot when you're angry."

She frowned at him, but the corners of her mouth curled up in a half-smile. The demon could be crude, rude and lewd, but a compliment was a compliment, after all.

"So," he said around a mouthful of pastry, "what's new?"

Suddenly Barbara leapt to her feet. "E-excuse me," she said in a strangled voice.

"Honey?" Adam said, standing up. "Are you okay?"

In reply, she flapped a hand at him, the other covering her mouth, and bolted for the bathroom. She closed the door behind her, and then they heard the sound of retching.

Her husband knocked on the bathroom door. "Bunny?" He tried the knob, and the door opened. "Barbara?"

She was kneeling in front of the toilet bowl, still vomiting loudly. Adam's nose wrinkled slightly.

After a moment, Barbara took a deep, ragged breath and wiped her mouth with toilet paper. "I ... I'm fine," she said. "I don't ... I don't know what ... i-it happened so fast..."

Adam helped her to her feet. "What happened?" he asked.

"I ... I don't know," she replied shakily. "One second I was fine, and the next ..." She shook her head. "That was weird." She flushed the toilet.

The Deetzes gathered around as Adam led his wife out of the bathroom.

"Are you okay?" Delia asked.

Barbara nodded. "Yeah, I-I'm okay.'' She sighed loudly and smiled. "I must've picked up some kind of bug."

"Can ghosts even get sick?" Charles asked.

Lydia looked at Beej. "Can they?"

"Not as far as I know," he said.

"There are no ... Netherworld viruses?" Adam asked.

The demon shook his head. "Only breathers get sick." Suddenly his brows furrowed, and he approached Barbara, bending down to place an ear against her midriff.

"What are you doing?" she asked, pushing him away.

"Relax," he told her. "I thought I heard something, that's all."

"What did you hear?" asked Delia.

"I-I'm ... I'm not sure," came the reply. He stuck his pinky in his ear and wiggled it around. "Maybe I was imagining it."

"Let's get you to bed," Adam suggested.

"Horn-dog," the demon said.

"Beej!" Lydia exclaimed.

"What? It was a joke -- come on!"

"If you need anything, let us know," Delia said.

*****

Almost every morning for the next week, Barbara ended up in the bathroom, retching violently.

Adam was beside himself with worry. "What's going on?" he asked Beej. "What's wrong with my wife? How can she be sick?"

The demon shook his head. "No clue," he said. "I never heard of anything like this."

"You must know something! "

"Hey, your guess is as good as mine, pal."

*****

Then one morning, Barbara's mysterious illness was gone, just like that. But something equally strange happened.

"How are my clothes too tight?" she asked. "I'm a ghost -- ghosts don't gain weight! What the ... what the hell is going on???"

Beej came into the Maitlands' attic bedroom, saw Barbara struggling to button her dress, and grinned. "You're looking good, Babs -- the extra pounds suit you!"

"Beej! Knock it off!" Adam said with uncharacteristic vehemence.

"Sorry! " the demon shot back. "I was just tryna be supportive!"

"How is this possible?" Barbara asked him.

Beej shrugged. "I don't know -- unless you wanted to put on a couple of pounds, it shouldn't be possible." He looked at her. "Uhh ... you didn't, did you?"

"No! " she wailed.

"Okay, just checking. Uh, can I ... uhh ...?" He held out his hands as if to touch her belly.

Frowning, Barbara nodded. Beej put both hands on her abdomen.

"What is it?" Adam asked.

"Not sure," came the reply. "But something's different."

"What's different? What is happening to me??? "

Beej sighed. "If I didn't know better, I'd think you were ... pregnant."

*****

"Pregnant??? " the Deetzes exclaimed in unison when they were told.

"Can ghosts even get pregnant?" Lydia asked.

"Apparently they can," Beej said.

"Ohhh!" Delia squealed, throwing her arms around Barbara. "You're going to have a baby! Congratulations!"

"Uh, yes ... congratulations to you both," Charles said, not knowing what else to say. He reached out and shook Adam's hand. "I'm sure ... you'll both make fine parents."

"Th-thanks," Adam replied. "It's still a bit of a shock."

"I'll say," Lydia added.

"Oh!" Delia said suddenly. "You'll be able to use your crib!"

"Yes," Barbara nodded. "Yes, we will." She looked like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming car.

"We'll have to plan a baby shower!" Delia said. "When are you due?"

I-I ... I don't know," Barbara said. "Maybe ... eight, eight and a half months, I guess? It's a ... a ghost baby, so ... I don't know if it'll come sooner, or ..."

*****

"What if ... what if the baby isn't what we're expecting?" Lydia asked. She and Beej were up on the roof, looking at the stars. "What if it's not ... just a ghost baby? What if it's something else?"

"A demon?"

She nodded. "I mean, this has never happened before, right? How do we know what it's gonna be? It could be anything."

"If it's a demon, or anything else, I'll take it back to the Netherworld," Beej said. "But I'm not getting any demon vibes."

"Okay," Lydia said, reassured. After a moment, she looked at him. "How are you feeling about all this?"

"I'm happy for 'em," he replied. "They always wanted a kid. And I like babies."

"What do you know about babies?" Lydia asked with a smirk.

"Hey, I used to babysit Alex's daughter!"

"Alex Medford? The one who wrote your summoning spell?"

Beej nodded. "Yeah -- me and Riley had a lot of fun."

"Huh," she said. "Somehow, I can't picture you as a babysitter."

"I was a great babysitter," he told her. "In fact, I'm the best babysitter ever! "

*****

Within a couple of weeks, Barbara was barely able to fit into any of her clothes.

"What am I supposed to do?" she said morosely. "I can't just walk around naked! "

"I wouldn't mind," Beej quipped.

"Beej," Adam said, a warning tone in his voice.

Beej's hair instantly turned purple. "Sorry," he said contritely. "I was just tryna lighten the mood."

"I'm taking you to the maternity store," Delia told her. "Let's get you a whole new wardrobe." She looked at Lydia. "Would you like to join us?"

Lydia rolled her eyes and sighed exaggeratedly. "I guess -- but I'm only going for Barbara. Just for moral support."

Delia clapped her hands excitedly. "Oh, this is going to be fun! Just us girls!"

"What're we supposed to do?" Beej asked.

"You can help me finish getting the crib ready," Adam suggested.

"Okay," the demon agreed happily.

*****

"What are you reading?" Charles asked when he came into the bedroom.

Delia held up the book: Pregnancy for Dummies. "I thought I should learn how to help Barbara through this -- after all, it's not as if she can go to an OB/GYN."

"No," Charles agreed, shaking his head. "No, I suppose not."

"The good news is that her pregnancy seems to be going well -- although it's progressing a lot faster than if she were still alive."

"BJ has said that time moves differently in the Netherworld -- I suppose the same holds true for the dead in our world." He paused. "How long do you think it'll be?"

"I'm not sure," Delia replied. "Maybe a couple of months?"

*****

"A couple of months? " Barbara exclaimed. "I ... I'm not ready -- there's so much to do! A-are you sure?"

Delia shook her head. "No," she said. "I'm not sure -- I'm just going by how fast it's been moving so far. It might slow down."

"Or it might not," Barbara said. "It might start going faster. Oh, God ..."

"It'll be all right," Delia told her, putting an arm around her friend's shoulder. "You have Adam, as well as me, Charles and Lydia -- we're all here to help."

"Don't forget about me!" Beej said, appearing suddenly. "I can help, too!"

Barbara smiled at the demon. "I'm sure you're going to be a big help, Beej," she said. "After all, who knows more about being born dead than you?"

He smiled, his hair turning pink.

*****

"Adam? Come over here."

"What is it, honey?" he asked, immediately concerned. "Is something wrong?"

Barbara shook her head, smiling. "I felt the baby kick. Oh! It happened again!"

"Really?" Adam said, grinning. "Can I ...?"

She nodded, and he put his hands on her belly. "I can't feel -- oh! I felt it!" His face lit up. "I really felt it!"

There was a knock on the door, and Lydia entered. "Hi, guys. I --"

"Lydia!" Barbara exclaimed. "The baby's kicking -- you have to feel it!"

The girl came over and placed a hand on the woman's belly. A moment later, her eyes widened in surprise. "Oh, wow -- that's amazing! Does it hurt?"

"A -- a little," Barbara admitted. "But it's not too bad."

"Hey guys!" Beej said, appearing suddenly. "What's going on?"

"You gotta feel this!" Lydia told him. She took his hand and put it on Barbara's belly.

"Oof! " Barbara grunted. "That's the strongest one yet!"

"What was that??? " the demon exclaimed.

"That's the baby kicking," Lydia told him.

Beej scowled, streaks of red shooting through his hair. "You stop hurting your mom!" he told the baby.

Barbara chuckled. "It's okay, Beej," she said. "It's perfectly normal -- it means the baby is healthy."

"Well, okay," he said doubtfully. "If you say so." Mollified, his hair returned to its normal green. "I guess it is kinda cramped in there -- I'd probably kick, too."

*****

"Uhh, Barbara?" Lydia said.

"What?" Then she realised that the girl's attention was focussed on her chest, and she looked down. "I'm leaking??? Oh, God!"

Lydia smiled. "Relax," she said. "It's perfectly normal, right?"

Barbara sighed in exasperation. "I know ... it's just -- it's a pain, that's all. I mean it's one thing after another!"

"Maybe that's the way the universe makes sure that you're ready to be a mother," Lydia told her.

"You sound like Delia," Barbara replied with a smirk.

"Yeah, well -- she's got a lot of out there ideas, but some of it actually makes sense, you know?" Lydia smiled. "I've learned not to automatically dismiss what she says -- I mean, my BFFFF is a demon, after all!

"Now, let's get you cleaned up."

*****

"Hey, guys," Beej said. "Has anybody noticed that Babs is a lot bigger now?"

"She is pregnant, dumbass," Lydia smirked. "It kinda goes with the territory."

"I know that, Lydia!" Beej retorted, scowling comically. "I'm not talking about her belly! I'm talking about her ..." He held his hands up as if he was carrying two melons in front of his chest.

"Beej!" Adam exclaimed.

"Well, I mean I can't be the only one who's noticed! She's huge! And hot!"

Adam nodded reluctantly. "Yeah," he said. "You have a point."

Beej grinned and punched him playfully in the arm. "Bet you're having a lot of fun with 'em, aren't you?"

"Ow!" Adam winced, rubbing the spot. "No, I -- Barbara says they're too tender for ... you know -- that kind of thing."

"Well, that sucks. Hey, maybe they'll stay like that after the baby's born, huh?" the demon licked his lips suggestively.

Adam glared at him.

"Hey, I'm just sayin'!"

*****

"Bunny?" Adam sat down beside his wife and began rubbing her back. "What's wrong?"

Delia came in and immediately went over to Barbara and knelt in front of her. She took both of Barbara's hands in hers. "Why are you crying?"

"I ... I-I don't know," she replied despondently. "I can't help it -- what's wrong with me?"

Delia smiled gently. "It's the hormones," she explained. "Your body is being flooded with all kinds of hormones, and that causes weird mood swings. Think of it like ... uhh, like ..."

"Like?"

"Oh! I know -- like the baby is sharing all of its hopes and fears with you!"

Adam looked at Delia. "That's ... almost beautiful," he said.

"Thanks," she said. "I thought it was pretty good." She stood up. "I'll go make some lemon balm tea -- it'll help you feel better."

A few minutes later she returned with a mug of steaming herbal tea, as well as the geode Dewey had given her for Christmas. "Here you go," she said, handing the mug to Barbara. She set the rock on the nightstand.

"Thank you," Barbara said, and took a sip. "What's with the geode?"

"It's amethyst," Delia told her. "It's very good for calming anxiety and mood swings -- I think you could use it." She held up her hands to stave off any protests. "I know, I know -- crystals! All that woo-woo stuff. But they really do work. Believe me -- crystals have helped me immensely. Besides, it can't hurt, right?"

"Thanks, Delia," Adam said. "That's very kind of you."

"I've got something else for you," Delia said, and produced a necklace of marbled green gemstones. "Malachite," she explained. "One of the best all-rounders for pregnancy."

"Oh, it's gorgeous! " Barbara exclaimed, taking the necklace in both hands.

"And meditation is great for managing emotions, too -- if you're interested."

"Thank you," Barbara said. "You're a ... a wonderful friend."

"Us girls have to stick together, right?"

*****

"Okay!" Delia said, clapping her hands together. "Are we ready for your first session?"

"I don't have to sit on a floor cushion or anything, do I?" Barbara asked. "I ... I don't think I could manage it."

"Of course not, dear," Delia reassured her. "The only thing that matters is that you're comfortable -- you can sit here."

Adam, holding his wife's hand, helped her settle into the armchair and took his seat in the other chair.

Barbara let out a heavy sigh. "I think this baby's going to be gigantic," she said.

Delia lowered herself to the floor and crossed her legs in the lotus position, her hands face up on her thighs, middle fingers and thumbs touching.

"Take a long, deep breath," she said, "and as you exhale, feel the weight of your body connecting you to your seats. Another deep breath ... and another ... and one more.

"Now, as your breathing retuns to normal, I want you to focus on how your breath feels as it enters your nose and exits your mouth ..."

*****

"I'm hungry," Barbara said.

"What would you like, honey?" Adam asked.

"I need ... ice cream. And kimchi. With anchovies and Oreos."

Adam grimaced. "Are ... are you sure about that?" he asked. "That doesn't sound very appetising."

"It's what I want!" she glared at him.

"Okay, okay," he replied. "If that's what you want, that's what I'll get you. In the meantime, you should just try breathing --"

"You try breathing!" she shot back.

Adam hurried out of the bedroom, nearly colliding with Beej on the stairs.

"Wow," the demon said. "Babs sure gets angry when she's hungry, huh?"

"It's just the hormones," Adam replied.

"Oh, yeah. Right. Hey, speakin' of -- I once made a whore moan so loud that --"

"Where's my ice cream??? " Barbara roared suddenly.

"Coming, dear!" Adam called back. "Not now, Beej!"

"Uh, yeah -- I'll tell you later," the demon said as Adam brushed past him. He shook his head. "Yeesh! Poor guy. I'm glad I'm not tied down. Footloose and fancy free -- that's me!" But a tinge of purple threaded its way through his green hair.

*****

Then one morning, Adam was getting dressed when he heard Barbara say, "Oh, God! "

He ran to the bathroom, still pulling on his shirt. "What happened?"

Barbara was just standing there in front of the sink, looking down at the puddle at her feet. She turned and looked at him. "I think it's time," she said. "My water broke."

"Already? It's only been three months!" He gathered himself and put an arm around her shoulders. "Uh, okay ... we need to get you downstairs -- no. I need to get everybody up here. Yeah, that's what I ... but first, let's get you back to bed, okay?

"Beej!"

"What's going on?" the demon said, appearing.

"It's time," Adam told him.

"Time for what?"

"The baby's coming! Go get everybody!"

"Holy crap! Okay, yeah -- you got it, buddy!" He grinned and gave them a double thumbs-up, and disappeared again.

Adam led his wife back to the bed and helped her get settled, and shortly after Beej returned with the Deetzes.

Delia went over to Barbara and took her hand. "Are you sure?" she asked.

Barbara nodded. "Yes -- it's coming. I'm not ready. I --" She grunted suddenly as the first contraction hit her. "Ohh, GOD!!! AAAAAHHH!!!"

"Okay," Delia said. "Remember your breathing exercises."

"What can I do?" Charles asked.

"Get a basin of cool water and a washcloth," Delia instructed. "You can mop her brow."

"I thought it was supposed to be hot water," he said.

"That's for later, when the baby comes -- BJ can heat the water when it's time."

"Just say the word," the demon nodded.

"Lydia," Delia said, "you and Adam can talk to Barbara -- help keep her calm."

Lydia nodded, and she joined Adam at Barbara's side. Charles returned with the basin and washcloths, and took his place beside his daughter and started gently mopping the pregnant ghost's brow.

"BJ, I need you to take Barbara's hand while I centre myself," Delia said.

"Me??? " the demon said, backing away. "Nuh-uh! Nope! No siree Bob!"

"BJ!"

"I don't know nothin' 'bout birthin' no babies! "

"Get over here and help! " Barbara snarled between clenched teeth. "Or I swear to God I'll -- AAAAAHHH!!! "

"Ommmm ..." Delia intoned, her eyes closed. "Ommmm ..."

The demon rushed to Barbara's side, his eyes welling up. "I don't know what to do!!! "

He gently took her hand in his and almost instantly regretted it as another contraction began. Beej's knees buckled and his face contorted comically as the ghost squeezed his hand violently.

"Ow ow ow ow ow! " he hissed.

"Don't be such a baby!" Adam told him. "You're a demon -- you don't have to feel pain!"

"I know that, Adam! I ... just wasn't expecting it, is all!"

"Breathe through the pain," Adam said. "Remember? Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo."

Beej began imitating him, breathing in short bursts. "Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo."

"Not you, dumbass!" Lydia said.

Beej glared comically at her. She stuck her tongue out at him.

"Just breathe, Barbara," Lydia told her.

"You're doing great, honey," Adam said.

"OH, GOD!!! " Barbara screamed, as the next contraction began. "I swear to God, Adam -- if you ever touch me again, I'll cut your b-- AAAH! AAAAAHHH!!! "

"OH, FUUUUUCK!!! " Beej moaned at the same moment as she clenched his hand even tighter.

"Okay, PUSH!!! " Delia roared as Barbara bore down. "PUUUSH!!! "

"I see the head!" Adam exclaimed. "Come on, honey -- just a little bit more ..."

"I can't," Barbara sobbed. "I ... I changed my mind -- I don't want to be a moth-- AAAAAHHH!!! "

"You can do it," Delia said. "You have to! Now, woman up and PUSH!!! "

Barbara nodded and took a deep breath, gritted her teeth and gave it everything she had.

Then suddenly Adam was holding a baby in his hands. "Oh my god oh my god ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod! " he laughed. "You did it!"

Beej held his hand briefly over the basin, heating the water as Charles tied off both ends of the umbilical cord and cut it with the surgical scissors, and then Adam handed the baby to Delia and she cleaned out its mouth with a finger. The new arrival took its first breath and let out a wail as she used one of the washcloths to clean the infant.

"What is it?" Barbara asked. "Let me see!"

"It's a girl," Delia told her, placing the now washed and swaddled baby in Barbara's arms. "A healthy ghost-baby girl. Congratulations!"

Barbara began crying, tears of joy and exhaustion streaming down her face as she looked down at the infant. "A girl," she said softly. "Hello, little one -- we've been waiting a very long time to meet you."

"She's kinda wrinkly," Beej noted, but his eyes were filled with wonder.

"What are you going to call her?" Lydia asked.

"Lily," Barbara said quietly, smiling at her husband. "Her name is Lily -- after Adam's mother."

[deadbeatbirdmom]

Personally I don’t expect team rwby to solve all bigotry, but I’d like to see them make any sort of attempt to at least begin to change something? Even relatively small scale?

The SDC seemed like the perfect opportunity but nope,

And maybe don’t kill,of characters like sienna and have characters like Robyn hill who are actively trying to combat class inequality get competed into fighting Salem instead

Movies like nimona manage it I don’t see why rwby can’t

This is the last time I'll be answering an ask to do with these issues in RWBY. I don't feel that there's a satisfactory answer, and certainly not one that I can provide. I've mentioned something along those lines before, but I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt that you're not the same anon and didn't see my posted answer.

I recently reblogged a post about these issues, but that doesn't mean my answer has changed. That post basically said there is no simple fix, and that means it isn't possible to do in RWBY, unless it was a fictional fix that wouldn't work in reality, which would be disrespectful.

I'm not sure what you expect four teenagers to be able to do, even small scale. They're good at fighting Grimm, but that doesn't mean anyone's going to pay attention to them about anything else.

Ruby's lucky at least some people listened to her broadcast about Salem, but that's connected with Grimm.

Weiss was the SDC heiress but ended up having that taken away before she could do anything good with it, and actually doing anything would have had to wait until her father was no longer in control.

Blake persuaded Menagerie's faunus to form a militia and help save Haven from Adam's corrupted White Fang, but that took a serendipitous attack on her parents and their house partly burning down. She can't command that militia to do anything else.

Yang would struggle to persuade anyone to do anything. The last time Remnant at large saw her was during the Vytal tournament broadcast, apparently breaking Mercury's leg unprovoked. The CCT is still down, so chances are most people have no idea she was set up. I dunno, maybe she could intimidate some sense into people?

I'm not sure when team RWBY would have had time to do anything while in Atlas. Ironwood kept them busy. Were they supposed to take down or reform the SDC with the one night off they had? If they'd tried they might well have found themselves arrested, the SDC and its Dust is rather important to the Atlas military. And then where would they be with their goal of getting the second Relic from the Atlas vault?

As for after things fell apart with Ironwood... As important as these issues are, avoiding arrest and doing their part to help get word out about Salem, or helping Mantle and then rescuing Oscar had priority.

It's not the reason they've done it, they just happened to fall in love, but I guess it could be argued that Blake and Yang's romance is some sort of proof that faunus and humans are equal.

After Salem is eventually somehow defeated, I can imagine at least Blake working with or even leading the reformed White Fang and campaigning for faunus rights. I'm sure the rest of her team would help her if there's anything they can do.

But survival against Salem has to come first. So a huntress like Robyn Hill doesn't really have any choice. There won't be any world to improve if Salem isn't stopped.

As for Sienna, take that up with Adam. I'd much rather she hadn't been killed off too, but there was no other way that was going to end between them.

That's the best I can do, anon. I'm well aware it's not a great answer. I can't provide one. I don't think there is one.

I haven't seen Nimona, I don't have a Netflix subscription. Maybe I'll watch it the next time I want to rewatch She-Ra. I've read the Nimona graphic novel years ago, but I don't remember bigotry being solved in there. Unless you meant an attempt being made? I need to reread it.

Edit: this got long and I forgot about a read more cut until now. Apologies!

[louis-antoine-leon-saint-just]

Welcome to my office, take a seat please

My name is Louis-Antoine-Léon Saint-Just. Call me Saint-Just or citizen. Refrain from using my first names unless we know each other. Do not use the particule. (That's the "de" before Saint-Just.) Unlike what some malicious gossip would have you believe, I am not a noble, and the "de" is not an indicator of such things. I am not a chevalier (knight) either. This honor was bestowed upon by humble father after twenty-five years of dedicated military service for the Last Tyrant, who elevated him at his retirement. The title was not hereditary. Do not pester me with this.

I am a member of the Convention nationale and of the Comité de salut public. I was a member of the committee in charge of redacting our ill-fated Constitution of Year One (1793, old style). It was born, but never allowed to grow. My enemies murdered it before it could take its first breath. My last project on designing institutions for our new Republic was snuffed out as well.

During my mandate on the Committee of Public Safety, I was sent as an extraordinary envoy attached to the army of the Rhine and then the army of the North, to ensure their actions and those of the local governments remain in line with the Revolution and its goals. We had to triumph, and thus we did.

I do not have much time for leisure but I enjoy writing, horse-riding and sightseeing when I can. I have a fondness for old ruins being reclaimed by nature, which I attribute to witnessing such happen to the château near the village where I grew up.

The nights are often long and lonely. There is much paperwork to go through. I remember once writing:

Le ministère est un monde de papier ; je ne sais point comment Rome et l'Égypte se gouvernaient sans cette ressource ; on pensait beaucoup, on écrivait peu... Les bureaux ont remplacé le monarchisme, le démon d'écrire nous fait la guerre, et l'on ne gouverne point.

And yet here I am, ready to answer your questions or comments. It won't make much of a difference, will it?

One last thing...

Do not presume to act with overt familiarity towards me. In other times, I might have been more likely to be convinced of your pure intentions. But times have changed.

***

General Note

This is a semi-serious RP blog. That means that while I try to keep a serious tone when I RP, there are still obviously comedic and lighthearted elements slipping in. I try to RP Saint-Just the way he seems to me after many many many years of studying him. He might not correspond to the historical Saint-Just. He has some particularities that historians don't all agree on, and I put in some of my headcanons that might not be shared by all.

You are free to send whatever you want, even nsfw, as long as you are respectful and use common decency. (It's still the Thermidor Crisis for a few days so be mindful about that.) I'm a person, not a chatbot.

However, you should know that Saint-Just and I reserve the right to use whatever you send however we see fit, maybe even as a prompt to discuss something else, and that you should expect your commentary or question to never actually be answered the way you want ;)

I've answered every ask I've got so far - so if yours hasn't been yet, it's because I'm still working on a response! Even though I know Saint-Just very well, there are always things one is required to study or think about!

Salut et fraternité, citoyen-ne-s.

(Updates: 30 July 2024; 26 January 2025.)

[djangodurango]

This goes out to you and Ray! :D

I've been wondering about your TFISSAB folk, how do you handle their aspirations and goals?

As someone who also has a set of museum piece OCs I've found it quite hard to give them something to work towards. A museum pretty much is the epitome of holding up the status quo and there's only so much that a displayed machine can do.

As I've understood it, the trains and their respective coaches seem to be content with entertaining the visitors and serving the higher purpose of education/holding up the memory of their times. But do they sometimes wish to do more than that? Do they think that there should be more to it?

I'm especially wondering how it's for the wartime displays. They have been built for an entirely different purpose than to serve the public - Do they ever get sick of the visitors? How's their outlook on a long, unchanging future in a museum?

I fear we're gonna disappoint, but I'll try and make it up to you.

So engines, as we write them, largely do not have goals or aspirations. It's a rare circumstance that an engine is given something to work towards, as opposed to just work itself. We write them this way because they are machines, but also because when we came into the Thomas the Tank Engine fandom (which is where the idea for The Future is Still Silver and Black is rooted), one of the topics of debate was whether the engines, being sentient, were being mistreated and enslaved by Sir Topham Hatt.

Suffice to say, Ray and I fall on the side of engines not being people and therefore not having the same needs or wants. They are machines; their desire is to work and to be appreciated for it.

If a goal is truly necessarily though... there's another pervasive idea in the fandom that engines in service think preservation is a "fate worse than scrap". It is our opinion though that many engines, once on the other side of preservation, find that they've been given a new job and indeed are being asked to perform beyond their purpose. For many engines, particularly more humble ones, it can be a steep challenge that one must rise to meet.

But like you, we also found ourselves struggling with the problem of what our engines should actually be doing if they are not in revenue service, mostly no longer in motion, and placed in an environment that appears not to change much.

"Appears", being the operative word.

The Illinois Railway Museum literally bills itself as "a museum in motion" because they're always doing something there. There's events being held throughout their operating season, new acquisitions arriving several times a year, repairs and restorations being made. Pilot almost never wants for things to tell Pioneer about (unless the IRM was remiss in their newsletter duties at the time) because even if his own story is not progressing, that of someone or something else at his museum is.

Pioneer's yard is a little more to the tune of what you're talkin' about. There are four guys in it and so it remains for thirty years. The inside of the Museum of Science and Industry though changes quite frequently, so often that Pioneer actually can't report on everything that moves in and out of there. Instead he must prioritize things that are particularly interesting or that he can tie back to the larger theme of his current letter.

Science and industry both change rapidly as we learn and develop more and the MSI also hosts all kinds of other exhibits not directly related to its topic as well. We started writing Pioneer as taking more of an interest in what goes on indoors the museum to sneakily give him things to fill out his letters to Pilot, but this also dovetails nicely with his eventual move indoors himself and with his being the ambassador exhibit to the rest of the museum.

So yeah, we hedge the story a bit by broadening the topic to the history of the museums themselves rather than strictly the trains.

I'll admit, though, we were also lucky that the trains' stories continued to evolve. We're constantly looking upon the history these engines have - especially post preservation - and marveling that somehow we got here first. How these trains' histories are intertwined and how they both have a full "character arc" after becoming museum displays is incredible material. The story basically writes itself, so much so that it would sound contrived if the stuff in it hadn't actually happened.

If I'm remembering right though, your guys live at a military history museum? I could see how that'd give you a lot less material to work with since the topic is more narrow and also stays classified until it's not needed anymore so updates are rarer. I'm assuming they ain't trottin' in Dolley Madison's patchwork squares or props from James Bond movies to keep it fresh.

But I got one more trick in my Barney Bag for you.

Another way that I keep things interesting in Pioneer's yard is by having built out personalities for him and all his yardmates and letting them abrade naturally. This is also a way to give engines we don't actually know much about something to do. Even without as full and documented a history as Pioneer has, every engine has a place where it was built, a place and time period where it worked, a task it was given to do, a company it worked for, and accordant sensibilities as a result of all those things. And when all those circumstances are different from engine to engine, small stakes conflicts occur. Disagreements over weather or vanities or other small opinions.

For instance, 2903 rubs almost everyone wrong from time to time, including 999. Conversely, most engines love Pioneer, but 2903 finds his Burlington charm disingenuous. To give another example, if Pioneer met the Flying Yankee, they'd probably have a bumpy camaraderie despite being brothers, since Flying Yankee's east coast sensibilities would push unpleasantly against Pioneer's Midwestern ones.

As to war machines, most of ours are World War II relics and so have a particular sensibility to them. That is, they are what they are and they do no apologize for that, but they also generally recognize their utility to ideally be temporary. The ultimate goal of war is peace and so they fight to see the day they are obsolesced. There's a whole quote about it on the way out of U-505's exhibit.

Living beyond that? They could take it or leave it. Being scrapped is a perfectly dignified end of service. For U-505, he does resent Captain Gallery's repeated campaigning to keep him around, but he also thinks of that as Gallery's right as victor. He's ambivalent with being an exhibit now; it's an obligation to defeat and he'd have preferred to sink rather than be captured, but he also thinks of it as a fair trade for his crew's lives. Plus, he's got allies here now and he appreciates the great effort and expense the MSI goes to for him. His exhibit also affords him some measure of dignity so even if he is essentially a war trophy, the visitors don't generally treat him that way. The tone of his exhibit means he doesn't really have to "entertain" as much as other engines do.

Stuka is obviously very happy with his lot in life compared to what it could have been, abandoned and rotting away in some African desert. There's worse fates than being eternally pursued by one of the most handsome planes ever designed. He and Spitfire still playfight with each other, but neither they nor U-505 actually miss war itself. They miss the service, but they don't miss the stakes.

There was a Lockheed F-104 Starfighter at the museum for a while, and her sensibility as a Cold War engine may have been a little different in that even when the Cold War ended, she'd have "known" it wasn't really over so much as just got colder. She's probably feeling very smug right now and if she were still at the MSI, she'd be abrading everyone about it.

[alstroemerian-dragon]

theres something that really bothers me about the way a lot of people talk about and write peko re: her place as fuyuhiko’s “tool,” especially when it comes to like. despair. and i feel like it stems from a few different places and one of those is definitely uh. distance from the source material. because. w. did we play the same game

like. the second trial is a lot of things. annoying. about the death of a character i dont really care about. kind of confusing. Very Sad At The End. but the one thing it shows beyond any shadow of a doubt is that peko Does Not Want To Be Fuyuhiko’s Tool. she leans into it a lot in that trial, past the stupid. serial killer shit. which is literally just desperation and quick thinking on her part (and non diagetically meant to parallel the first game but whatever). but she does that because it is the only option she thinks she has if she wants to keep fuyuhiko alive. because thats her ultimate goal, right? sure, she’s his tool. sure, theyre Badly and Unhealthily codependent. sure, she was basically groomed to stay at his side no matter what. but…

she also cares about him. genuinely. she loves him. for all that teenagers can properly conceive of love in all its forms, but she at least think she does. but she does truly care about him.

did anybody do her free time events other than me? genuine question. because i dont think someone who wants to ask the guy shes sworn to protect on a date would be content being just his tool. that sure sounds like someone who wants to be on equal footing with him.

like. look. say what you want about the anime. take it with a grain of salt. cherry pick what you like and toss the rest of it out. that sure is what i do!! but even if you do that, youve got to take the text of the game itself into account if you want to have any semblance of regular characterization, and the game makes it clear that she hates this!!! she doesnt want to be his tool! she will fight him on things if she has to! she will disobey him if she has to!!! thats the whole point of the trial!!!!! he told her to run and that he would take the fall and she told him no!!!!!!!!!

and you cant ignore the fact that the time between them starting at hope’s peak and the tragedy hitting the ground running was two whole years. people can change a lot in two years, especially teenagers, and especially high schoolers. idk how long its been since you were in high school (unless you currently are in which case. dear gd im so sorry. good luck) but your mental state in high school is so fucked. you have no idea who you are and neither does anybody else and can you even imagine the kinds of pressure the ultimates would have been under?? again, taking the anime with a grain of salt, but even if you go along with it and think the school was barely a school at all, the pressure from society, from family, from peers still has an impact. everyone was telling them who they were and that thats who they were going to be for the rest of their lives and i doubt ANY of them felt like it.

and even if you subscribe to the idea, like me, that their second year was a downward spiral because of junko’s presence and influence, they still needed somewhere to fall from. the idea that peko was uniquely comfortable being quiet and violent and doing whatever fuyuhiko wanted so she didnt need despair to be his tool is ridiculous. i see the argument of “well watching her friends fall into despair and spiral made her spiral in turn and grow numb to it and retreat into herself until she needed to become fuyuhiko’s tool again as a coping mechanism” but. buddy. That Is Despair.

sometimes i feel like the only person who thinks about despair complexly and maybe thats its own post because this ones too long already but. despair isnt just Being Brainwashed Into A Monster. ignore what the writers told you. okay? look at me. Look Into My Eyes. The Writers Are Fucking Idiots And Dont Know How To Write Good Drama With Genuine Stakes. despair as a nuanced concept is so much more horrifying. different post. sorry. peko.

if peko had not been pulled down by despair just like the rest of them she would have fought tooth and nail to keep fuyuhiko above it. she would have demanded he explain to her why he was doing what he was doing. and she would have told him no.

and of course heres where i get into the accusatory part because the other place a lot of this comes from is, and im sorry, an unwillingness to write complex or nuanced women. not pointing fingers, but reducing peko down into “fuyuhiko’s tool” and “she does whatever he says without question” completely destroys any minuscule amount of agency she has. shes a fucking person. yes, shes pixels on a screen. yes, shes a representation of tropes. but diagetically, within the fiction of the game, she is a human being, and if you want to write her, and not be puppeting around a gddamn cardboard cutout, you have to think of her as a person with agency who makes her own fucking choices. sometimes those choices are taken away from her. but they shouldnt be taken away by you.