#i dont act like it but i actually have very big anxiety talking to people

[fenrishion]

some thoughts

reminder to self too but making friends is really just that simple. or getting closer to someone you've always thought was cool but never talked to because you were too intimidated is also just that simple. its much easier if you have a shared interest tbh but. the worst thing is? they say no. or they ghost you.

and if it goes through? social link rank up and you get invited to do stuff!

anyway this week i made friends with a few diff groups of people ive only ever been mutuals with. and i got invited to do a bunch of things with them and got introed to their own respective friendgroups too. so im kinda happy with that!

and it turned out that they too wanted to talk to me since forever but were also just too shy to do so. maybe the world is just full of individuals who want to make friends but are too scared to make the first move.

so sometimes you have to be the one reaching out.

[polyamorousmood]

Hey there :)

So I have no problem with my bf dating other people, and recently hes started having sth with someone else. Good for them! Legit, no problem with that by itself

But.. now I'm being left on read a lot, like majority of the time it feels like, no matter the topic or time. I just feel.. forgotten, I think, or replaced idk. But it feels pretty bad.

I dont want them to think I'm jealous or mad, I just wish he would still show me the same attention/care as before. Ive talked about how left on read makes me very insecure, due to fake friends and person past experiences before so I dont want to bring it up again.. but it hurts. Idk what to do?

Bad news, babe. You're gonna have to say something again. The good news though is that you can productively procrastinate it, because there's some stuff I want you to do first.

But before I get into that, I let having a cool opening distract me from very important other things that need said: That sucks, and I'm really sorry, but you can make it through this.

Now then. Time to productively procrastinate a difficult conversation. Look, I'm procrastinating it more by making it a read more! (It, um, it is A Lot. I took "blogging platform" literally on this one😅)

It sucks. Believe me, it bothers me too when I can't hear from my partner📵📴 because they're with my meta. It has been A Problem I've had to work through, so I think I'm actually pretty qualified to give advice on this.

Some of what I have to say is going to smart (old-timey word for sting) a bit, so I want to make it clear that I understand where you're coming from, so you can trust the part that stings is necessary. I imagine its something like this:

You relationship with your boyfriend is great! So great, you're happy for him to have someone else to love! That's. That's so rare and incredible, its a love beyond what most will know. And then he takes that love and wads it up and throws it in the back seat to make room for this new schmuck. The love is still there, it's just... in the back seat. And you never thought that would happen, because the relationship is so good! And you already said something, so you worry you're being a nag, which you don't want, because you ARE happy for them, you're so happy for them... except when you're not because you can't be happy when he can't be bothered to text you back. Its not really so much to ask, and you EXPLAINED why its important to you, so why doesn't he seem to care? You communicated, you did your part, and it was hard and scary! Surely harder than texting you back would be! And you don't want to feel like this, but. There's this anxiety that... shouldn't he want to text you back? Isn't that how he would act if he really did still care about you just as much?

Any of that resonate? I don't know you, so maybe some of it was way off base🎯, I don't know. But I hope enough of it was close enough to right that you know I get it when I say:

This isn't just your boyfriend fucking it up. This is, in part, probably you asking something unreasonable. To give you the exact same level of time an energy as when it was just you too is a big ask. To be able to supercede his time with the other person any time you want is a big ask. If you're only okay with your boyfriend having someone else if it doesn't cut into your time at all, how okay with it are you actually?

So before you talk to him about it, you gotta step back. Its not that you're wrong for feeling sidelined. But a poly relationship just isn't going to be the exact same as a monogamous one. It it were, I wouldn't have bothered making a blog, and I wouldn't have needed to because I wouldn't have a trail of loving, wonderful, burnt to ashes monogamous relationships behind me. Let's take a deep breath together. Pause here if you need.

Now, there are some questions here that do affect what I think would be fair. For example, if you're living with your boyfriend, and he's taking you for granted, always texting the other person when he's with you, you don't have any special time with him anymore, and then when he goes out its radio silence. That's a very different situation from you being in a long distance relationship so texting is your main form of communication/bonding and now he's got a new person that lives near him so he's with them constantly and now, what are you, chopped liver? for example. I'm going to give a list of things you might be doing that's unfair, and I want you to take a minute and evaluate as honestly as you can where you fall on that. This is a self-reflection, not an accusation, so please resist any temptations to get defensive (if you even feel them). I recommend taking out a pad of paper and committing to an answer for each. Some you may not be doing at all! Some okay maybe a little. And some now that you think about it, yeah actually, you're doing a lot. That's okay. You not handling it perfectly is okay, and doesn't mean we can't ask the boyfriend for accommodations still.

Are you valuing 1:1 time with your boyfriend as much as you're valuing (negatively) the time he spends 1:1 (not texting you) with his partner? IE, are you more bothered by him not texting you than you are appreciative when he takes time for you?

Are you texting him compulsively out of anxiety instead of because you have something more important to discuss?

Are you accidentally infringing on his other partner's time?

Are you trying to infringe on his other partner's time to reassure yourself that you're important to him?

Are you texting him to "test" him?

When you communicated that you didn't like being left on read, did you properly convey how big of a problem it is for you and what your expectations were?

When you communicated, did you allow space for negotiation and to work on the problem, or was it more like a list of demands?

Are you misplacing your feelings somehow? Is there something else that's bothering you that you don't feel comfortable bringing up?

Are you letting your anxieties run you? Is there something you could be doing to address your feelings?

Are you forgetting to weigh other allocations or shows of love he's making or you?

Is there anything else internally you might be overlooking in regards to this?

Whew! Heavy stuff. But you made it!🎉 Now, we'll dig into how his actions are making you feel. That last set was about what you could be doing better, and this one will help determine he could be doing better. But just like we weren't making accusations about you, we aren't making accusations about him either. We are assuming good faith on your boyfriend's part. This is still ultimately about your feelings and what reasonable accommodations could be made for them.

Do you feel the time allocation for you vs his other partner is fair? Why?

Does he seem to text them back more than you?

Does it seem like he's not taking your concerns seriously enough?

Does this issue look like a larger pattern? If so, what? How will that look long-term?

Has he made specific promises he hasn't kept to you in regards to this? If so, what were they and how hasn't he lived up to them?

Do you feel he's made adequate time for you to discuss concerns, or do you feel like he tries to rush through them?

Do you think he gave you a reasonably clear expectation of what him dating someone else would look like (or did he make it seem "nothing will change")?

Has he not responded to something critical?

Is there anything else he's done in regards to this that doesn't sit right with you?

You did it! 🎉Now we can officially start working on problem-solving. I imagine that was a lot more than you bargained for, for such a simple problem as "I want a text back," but its important to get everything laid out. This helps in a lot of ways. It helps guard against striking on a "solution" that isn't actually sustainable. It makes sure you're starting a discussion in good faith. And hopefully, it will help minimize having to return to the issue.

For the sake of formatting, we're going to address the questions for you first, then the questions about him, then how to have the hard conversation, then workarounds that you may not have considered that aren't really your or his problem. I actually think that third group has some of the better "quick fixes", if you can find one that works.

Starting with the questions about what you could be doing better, in order, skip any that don't apply:

Re: valuing 1:1 time -- Make active efforts to appreciate the time you do have more. Use this time as a guard against negative thoughts when he is unable to respond ("We spent all day together yesterday, a few hours today without hearing from him is fine")

Re: texting compulsively -- Be more vigilant about self-soothing. I find self-talk to be most effective for me. I cannot possibly cover everything here, but it sounds like it stirs up fears you're losing your partner. Since you cannot guarantee that will never happen, I find it most helpful to reassure myself I will be okay even if I do lose them. Another option is to make a reassurance bank, where you can store and see evidence of his affection without asking it from him. Your mileage may vary. If you really struggle with this, there's always therapy.

Re: accidental infringing -- Be more mindful of what you send. Save things that are non-urgent to discuss later, when you have his attention anyway.

Re: deliberate infringing -- Stop it. It will only strain things and make the outcomes you don't want more likely. See self-soothing. Find something else to distract you that you can put energy into.

Re: "testing" him -- See above. I know, its easier said than done. Do the hard work. That shit can ruin your life.

Re: didn't adequately express importance -- Well, its a good thing we're about to talk about it anyway! Really think through how you can explain how badly it makes you feel. We'll get into that more when we discuss How To Have the Conversation

Re: list of demands -- Well, its a good thing we're going to talk about it anyway! This time, see it as a negotiation. Ask him if that's feasible, or if its too much. But open to trying alternate solutions.

Re: misplaced feelings -- Take the advice on How To Have a Conversation and apply it to the thing that's actually the problem.

Re: managing anxieties -- Again, you'll have to find a way to self-soothe somewhat. That's not to say your partner shouldn't meet you halfway, but you do have to do your half.

Re: forgetting other expressions of love -- Literally make a list of all the things he's done/is doing for you. As many as you can think of. Add to it often. Pick a couple and do a deep dive on why that mattered so much to you and how you felt. Tell him, too. You gotta be grateful consciously, bro. This applies to all of life

Re: anything else -- Take that into account. Work on that, too, however you can. Be honest with him about your shortcomings when you address it.

A lot of these will require upkeep on your part (kind of mirrors🪞how texting you back consistently requires upkeep on his, huh?). Be prepared to discuss the changing you're going to make and have an actionable plan for them. Okay, his turn, same as before:

Re: fair time allocation -- does he need to make more time for you? Do he need to make protected time that is only for you? You said you feel forgotten, replaced, so maybe this is part of it.

Re: unequal texting -- first, consider why. If he lives with you, he's probably going to have to text the other person in front of you sometimes. If you still think its too much, again, protected time for you may be appropriate, he may need to do a better job keeping his New Relationship Energy (NRE) in check. Be prepared to discuss this, possibly including him defending himself!

Re: not taking concerns seriously -- Well, its a good thing we're discussing this again! Make sure you have an actionable, measurable metric he can do to show you progress here. (IE ❌"I need you to care more" ❌ but ✅"When you're unable to respond, I need you to say that you're busy so I know you thought of my needs" ✅)

Re: bigger patterns -- You will have to tell him you're concerned about those too. If it could become untenable for you, this will probably be a recurring discussion. Consider scheduling check-ins where you say one thing you think is going well and one thing you're worried about, for example.

Re: unkept promises -- here, you are super justified in being mad. Try not to be anyway. Try to be curious and interested in addressing the root problem. Ask him what got in his way, what middle ground he's confident he can manage. It is you and him vs the problem, even here, not you vs him.

Re: inadequate room to discuss -- Set expectations before the talk, and remind him of them if he forgets. (IE "I know this isn't nice to hear, but I need you to let me say my piece and talk through solutions, even if it takes awhile." and "I said I needed to talk through the solution. This sounds nice, but I'm concerned about X. How can we make sure that doesn't happen?") Consider reserving specific time to discuss it, consider reserving recurring time to discuss any problem, if you need it.

Re: didn't set expectations appropriately -- ask. Ask what this would ideally look like to him. If he's having trouble getting started, point out some differences you've already noticed, and ask if he thinks those are the new norm.

Re: didn't respond to something critical -- Establish a way he can see what is critical and what isn't. This might be texting something that can wait, but calling for something important, for example.

Re: anything else -- address that too. Give him a chance to explain himself. etc.

Okay, you've done everything up to this point alone. You're prepped. Now How Do You Have The Conversation?

For this type of stuff, I recommend the WIBS format. That is, "When [something happens], I feel [feelings] Because [explanation] So could you please [change]". But of course, it can't be that simple either. Critically you CANNOT say "you" before the "so could you please". The example I'm about to give is going to use the texting issue specifically, but if you've done the soul searching and found there's a bigger problem you want to address (which ngl, sounds like there might be something bigger based on what you sent), adjust accordingly! This is good general advice for any tough conversation. Anyway, here's what that might look like on the texting thing:

"When I am left on read, I feel anxious and betrayed, because I've had a lot of friendships completely fall apart, and that's always how it started. So could you please make a point to text me something when you read my message, even if its just 'lol' or you saying you want to discuss it later."

But wait a minute! That doesn't include any of the bullshit I just made you do. What the hell am I trying to pull? Okay okay, so we have to modify this a bit. Our new format is going to be something more like this: "When [something happens], I feel [feelings and impact], because [explanation]. I have tried [things you've tried], and I am still struggling because [reason why that hasn't helped, including what you could do better]. So I was hoping to look at some more solutions, like, would you be willing to try [change]." Which might in practice look something like

"When I am left on read, I feel so anxious and betrayed I start spiraling thinking the relationship is doomed, because I've had a lot of friendships completely fall apart, and that's always how it started. I have tried dropping some hints and self soothing, and I'm still struggling because this is a really bad anxiety that I didn't have to deal with before recently and even with the hints I'm not getting the response rate I would like. So I wanted to talk about it and see if you'd be willing to try making a point to text me something when you read my message, even if its just 'lol' or you saying you want to discuss it later."

And then! The discussion continues. Maybe he says "oh my god, yeah, I didn't realize it was bothering you that much, absolutely I can do that" and maybe he says "I'm with you all the time how is this still a problem?" or maybe its "actually, [other partner] gets really anxious when I text, which is why I don't respond unless its important. I figured I could talk to you about dinner plans any time" and whatever the case is, you keep talking until you've set on clear goalposts and have reassurance they feel okay to all parties. So in order, your responses might be something like "are you sure you can manage that? I was really worried by my hints not being picked up on that that was the reason", "I know its a problem. That's why I'm talking to you about it. If that's not a good solution to you, let's come up with something else, because the way things are is really hard on me," and "okay. I don't want to make [other partner] anxious either, but this isn't working for me, can we find something else to try?"

Allow him to explain, be prepared to explain more yourself, and be willing to try a variety of solutions. Acknowledge

Is this my longest post yet? Maybe! Wild. Let's top it off with something easier: The Hack Solutions🧑‍💻. Sometimes, anxiety isn't logical, and goofy workarounds can be super helpful! Here are some off the top of my head, but feel free to get creative, too! Not all of these may be feasible, not all of them may help. But a lot less work than some other solutions so worth mentioning!

You said being "left on read" is what bothers you. Can you just... turn off read receipts? Or switch to a messaging app that doesn't have them? Can he just not read your texts until he has the time to respond?

A lot of phones have a driving mode, that will send an automated reply to texts. Can he turn that on when he's with his other partner so you get a reply like "hey I'm busy rn, but I'll text back later!" and would that help?

If you just want to feel more involved, maybe it would help if he just like, took a picture of his pizza to send to you. Reminds you you're thought of, doesn't require conversation.

Something that I've done with friends is write like, a dozen short affirmations/reassurances, and have them keep them in a special spot. When they need to feel loved, they can take one out to read. This has worked PHENOMENALLY for them, and still protects your partner's time away while allowing you to get love direct from your partner WHENEVER you want.

Can he just kick it with you both concurrently?

Can you have a friendship with your meta where you text THEM like "tell [bf] to text me back real quick" and then your bf doesn't feel bad about texting in front of the other partner because they're telling him to do it?

Classically condition yourself. Like, every time he leaves you on read, eat a chocolate. And then sometimes instead of it being "boyfriend won't text me :(((" it'll be "oooo! candy time!"

ai yai yai! That's all I have, though! Come back if you need help working through some specifics. I'm very happy to help however I can. Its not your fault you're struggling with this. Most polyam relationships have to deal with this to some extent, but with a little effort, you can make it through. Best of luck to you, friend. 💙💖🖤

[puckpocketed]

on the topic of mutuals actually ! (+ my thoughts on blocking) long and winding non essay under the cut.

mutualism and friendship

it's come up semi-regularly in conversation in the past month-ish and i've been marinating on it so I guess I should write my thoughts down here.

i'm sure this isn't a groundbreaking brainwave no one has ever had before but uh . i think this is probably a product of having grown up with very little social media but i just dont particularly care for the concept of mutuals. i dont think about it. i think of people on here as friends first and mutuals second. "mutuals" is barely meaningful to me as a label other than shorthand for friends, and even then it is rendered useless by the fact that I think of some non-mutuals as friends.

idc if you follow my blog back, if we're regularly interacting and having fun then we are friends regardless of mutual status. the focus on "being mutuals" is, to me, a little impractical (and sidebar,, honestly its kinda crazy how divorced it is from the real human phenomenon of connection and friendship. hello!!!!! why we letting social media button supplant friendship and connection. not to be Old Man Yells at Clouds but what are we doing raising this generation to think about being mutuals and commenting/liking posts as some friendship obligation, on the same level as smiling at them or laughing with them. hello. what are we doing giving them anxiety about whether or not enough people liked their posts. what are we doing???? does someone wanna talk about this with me because it eats me up lmao)

I'd rather people follow me because they, idk, enjoy the little character bits i do + my unhinged liveblogging + occasional gifs and baking - rather than out of some obligation because we are friendly. don't put yourself through the ordeal of being flooded by sharks magma whenever they play a game just because we're friends LMAO i wouldn't do that for anyone if the situation were reversed !!

^on this topic, if I don't follow you back it doesn't mean I don't like you, I might simply not vibe with your blog. the decision to follow is not predicated on whether or not we have good rapport. it's literally just choosing to see your blog on my feeds. speaking as someone who has done a fair bit of leg work to curate my internet experience, following/not following is part of that. and I think of other people's choices this way as well. i think not vibing with my blog is fine! it is incredibly scattered and the content is NOT for everyone and that's okay.

on blocking

blocking simply aint that big to me. I don't take it seriously or personally if i somehow realise I've been blocked, and blocking others isn't personal for me either. to me it is, again, simply an act of dashboard curation. I think i'd be way more anxious if i thought about blocking in terms of liking/hating.

I block people for all sorts of reasons, silly or serious. Sometimes i'm just annoyed that day, sometimes they say stuff that is deeply offensive to me. There's a whole spectrum of feelings about the blogs subject to my blocking habits that fall between the two extremes. at the core of it, it's about not wanting to see them in my feeds. simple as that.

(by the by, I block from my main blog and not my side blog, so people can still see things from puckpocketed if they want, and I don't have to see them! WIN-WIN!)

blog =/= blogger. I try to keep this distinction clear in my head. when a person makes a post on their blog and I have a problem with it, whether it annoys me mildly (stupid rude shit on my posts) or genuinely offends me to my core (racism or something), blocking them is not about saying "fuck you". it is not the "I have moral highground" button. not to me.

everything falls under this umbrella: racism, misogyny, completely out of pocket comments on my posts, being mildly annoying. Blocking isn't personal because I don't actually know anyone well enough to hate them, and the act of curating my feeds ain't praxis. blogging isn't praxis. I have bigger fish to fry so to speak. I have a real life and people to care for and communities to build. I have poetry to read and dogs to say hello to. i got a whole life to live!

the content of someone's blog is a TINY portion of who they are when weighed against the rest of their existence. it is but a sliver of their life and their personhood. I see it like this: wouldn't like it very much if someone made sweeping conclusions about my personhood based on my blog posts, and so I try not to do that either. key word is try. I don't always succeed and I think that's okay. we are all doing what we can on this bitch of an earth <3 what is most important is I'm trying to give people the grace I'd want for myself. like . shit. isn't that what its all about?? (mini confessional: I was a mean and angry person for a long time. in some ways i still feel like i am. but learning kindness by studying it instead of having it baked into my brain chemistry or however the fuck other people get it has taught me that we have to try)

anyway if u are still reading this hiii!!! I'd say sorry i just wanted to put my thoughts somewhere but . well. its MY blog and i get to paste weird magazine cutouts and glitter to my walls if i wanna !!! thank u for ur time

[setoronini]

PLEASE READ IN FULL!!

Before making assumptions or stuff about me or what i like /gen

Would be appreciated!! ^.^

My name is Setoroni! He/Him + Neos that can be found in my Pronouns Page above

Actually all my info is in my Pronouns page. Well most of it

PLEASE TELL ME IF I DO SOMETHING WRONG I AM PROBABLY MISINFORMED OR STUPID

I talk too much. Or tyepe whateve

> TAGS

- Main Tags

#★ = Fav Posts, usually used for reblogs

#seto art = My art tag!

#seto translations = Mainly for @.expungedagalungagoo 's @.ask-unpleasant blog when I feel like being helpful

#backstage textposts = Explanatory. I talk.

#seto shitpost = similar to textpost but this is me doing whatever and acting like I'm talking to a close friend

#seto status = I update random people on the Internet on my wellbeing

- Misc Tags

#artfight creatives = Anything AF related

↓extra info under cut↓

My ssona..

His name is my name (seto) be nice

Why do i use chat and type in blue and white?

Because ican (scratches an itch in my brain and nice to look at)

Socials

Yah...

Only posting art on Artfight N Tumblr

↑ Yah if u see like 15 stars Thats Me Im Very Specific About It Being 15 Stars

I recommend good music trust. I have 1500 song playlist and their all vocaloid or old rock

Im mainly reposting on this becayse i post my art rarely.kinda. because im a BABY. But eh. usually repost infected art n stuff...

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RAT LIST

(friend list on tumblr in order of chaos or something)

(go follow them)

@.kinoko-draws

My rat child that i hate so much i have known them too long

@.expungedagalungagoo

I found them and now we are friends its called telekinesis i think or something like that its magic.

@.fymo-blogs

Translation stealer

Do not test me

/playful

TBA as i get to run around with free access to the world

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some things to note ≈∞≈

I'm not diagnosed with anything but Anxiety due to my current situation, but I don't care if you make jokes toward me about (an)other disorder(s) (trust me I am way too used to it to gaf and find it a bit funny)

I will usually be online most of the time, and if I'm not I'm probably asleep or doing chores

I have a Disabled uncle with Epilepsy and Intellectual Disability (plus other issues) that I take care of, please take that into account

I take behaviors from people around me/i interact with

I cannot pay attention to multiple fandoms at once and stay heavily focused at one at a time (currently that'd be Regretevator)

I'm a Minor, mid-late teens

I have writing issues so I might use tonetags and misspell often!!

My brain physically starts crashing sometimes be patient with my dumbass

Ill make a card one day with Patience....be patient...

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In reference to Ships :

I ship everything as long as it's legal and not weird as shit. If something exists i like it, if it doesn't i like it, most if not all ships will always be above "no opinion but i like it" or will be "never seen or havent thought much about it to have an opinion."

Plus im a really big polyam ship lover ← polyamorous person

WHERE THE HELL IS MY JEREMY X INFECTED X UNPLEASANT X LAMPERT X POOB X PEST ART. WHERE IT AT. WHERES MY TRASHED PARTY (™ (not really its fun to say)) AT.

I do enjoy ships with Infected more, but that's just because infected is my favorite and I project onto him too much.

^ any ship with the guys above this message is a win 4 me

In reference to my own Headcanons :

I dont push my hcs onto anyone, especially not with things like dynamics, sexualities, gender, etc. I'm the one who steals headcanons and projects onto my favs, and honestly a lot of people are super creative with their own headcanons.

Also I'm very fluid with my headcanons so I can't really state them? I do have genders and sexualities for some characters settled.

In reference to being Mutuals/Friends :

I literally classify anyone as a friend until proven otherwise*, If I am actually all friendly and comfy with you you are friend status. Which is everyone. Their mini-specifics in that but those aren't important everyone is a friend or higher if I interact/interacted with you

* proven otherwise in this situation meaning like basic dni criteria (?) (illegal stuff, in general being a weirdo /neg, not respecting other peoples boundaries). I am not good in agruments

[liquidstar]

Weird question, but how do you think Subaru would interact with other socially inept anime characters like Tomoko Kuroki from Watamote or Bocchi from Bocchi the rock?

oh i dont think thats a weird question at all, its a pretty fun one to think about! all of these characters for sure have The Social Anxiety but subaru is actually pretty different from bocchi and tomoko. mostly because, unlike those two, he's actually pretty extroverted. this does not stop his social anxiety though.

for subaru, his issue largely came from the need to perform (and emulate kenichi). he acts as energetic and loud as possible, in an attempt to get people to like him. this backfires though, because instead people just find him obnoxious. but this only makes him double down on the "please look at me, please like me" approach, which only makes people more annoyed with him. until he started having panic attacks about it, and stopped going to school all together. iirc in a qna when tappei was asked why subaru didnt have any friends even though he's so out-going, he replied "would you wanna be friends with someone so loud and obnoxious?"

and thats where i think he would sort of clash with characters like bocchi and tomoko. those two are the more "classic" example of social anxiety- they fear interactions with other people, they panic whenever something pushes the limits of their comfort zones, and they dont know how to deal with people. between tomoko and bocchi, i feel like the big difference is that bocchi is more depressive and tomoko is more cynical- bocchi blames herself, tomoko blames others. the latter is literally in the title.

subaru would probably still keep up his usual demeanor, as hyper as ever. and this would NOT sit well with characters who tend to retreat into their shells, but seeing this would likely make him think he has to double down. bocchi would probably be freaked out by him, she wouldn't know how to handle his energy, but she'd also be too nervous to not go along with whatever he's doing in some way... she would probably want to go back to her mango box though. meanwhile, tomoko would be more likely to outright dislike him, probably incorrectly assume he's actually a cool partybro, and start to silently scorn him for it.

assuming subaru could maybe take a cue and tone it down (not likely but maybe eventually) i can see at bocchi warming up to him. she doesnt have anything actually against extroverts (just look at her and kita!) so if he relaxes they could probably get along. tomoko on the other hand... she is very desperate for friendship but she also has a horrible habit of self-sabotage, so even if they start getting along (maybe talking about anime- unlike with bocchi, tomoko and subaru actually have common interests) she'd probably do something that makes her think she blew it, even if he wouldn't actually care lol

however if they did manage to defy all odds and actually become friends, i do think subaru would bring one incredibly vital aspect to this dysfunctional dynamic.... he'd be the only one able to ask for extra ketchup.

[misqnon]

hi one piece anon back again. i shall call myself march so that next time i send in an ask i dont have to type out "i sent the asks about one piece" (too wordy. much easier to just write a name)

i so appreciate ur 2k words ,, i think u have successfully eliminated my anxiety abt talking too much !! ur very sweet 🥹 thank u /p!! electronic pen pals!!! that is so fun !! :D

i went back to watch wano after catching up (im like halfway through the arc) and genuinely the animation is so good!! (its also rly funny because they made zoro super sexy at every opportunity.. they upped his fanservice by a million. i love it. as a zoro fan.) its probably worth it to watch the anime for that part if ur interested?? although the pacing is still super slow so it might be better to read the manga first and THEN watch wano if ur still hyperfixated on one piece at that point. i went back to wano cuz i was feeling sad about being caught up and not having any more content to consume.

ive seen clips of the fights and they look so fantastic and cool and hype and AGH . i havent gotten to any big fights yet but its been a lot of fun seeing the characters all colored and .. moving. its also kind of sad to watch though cuz you can TELL some of the voice actors are really struggling. my love franky.. i love his voice acting but he sounds so rough in wano :((. his is probably the most obvious example but if u pay attention u can tell with most of the voice actors who've been doing the show for a long time.

i havent watched the live action because netflix sucks (i dont live with the account owner currently and i HAVE TO if i want to use netflix) but i have seen how many people have gotten into one piece bc of it, and i have seen a lot of clips. and i know people love it and its very highly regarded. (also i kinda love what they did with sanji (i miss his twirly eyebrows though 😭)) so i have a lot of respect for it despite never watching it myself!! im also so excited for "the one piece" bc even though i know next to nothing about it, if its adapting this wonderful universe full of lovable characters in a way that actually HELPS the manga rather than HURTS it.. well. how could i complain.

i DO think u got into one piece at a really good time!! ive heard a lot of "if you want to get into one piece, this is your last chance" and "now is the best time to start one piece" and i think theyre right. although hearing its your "last chance" is kind of anxiety inducing personally LOL. i think itll be really difficult to avoid spoilers after the series ends though so in that sense.. theyre probably correct. at the pace youre going i dont think one piece will end before you catch up. oda's on a 3 week break right now too so imo you have plenty of time!! i think wano is about 150 chapters and theres a LOT going on so it might take you a while, but this is the final SAGA not the final arc dont worry!! im picturing the straw hats visit at least 2 more islands after the current arc. although obviously im not oda so i have no idea if thats accurate LOL

i think no matter what im gonna feel like i have questions unanswered when one piece ends, just cuz i am so insanely invested in . the whole world of one piece. i want to know everything about everything. but i DO think oda will answer the big questions, and i agree that he probably wont just leave us wondering. the newest arc is already kind of answering a lot of questions (and... developing MORE mysteries LMAO)

i hope i didnt make you feel like its WRONG to like sanji bc it isnt!! just cuz i cant get behind him doesnt mean that i think people who like him are bad people or anything remotely like that. i mean. i love doflamingo. and hes an AWFUL person. i hate his guts... but i love him. hes such an interesting character and i want to dissect him and analyze him and . i love to think about him. and hes comforting in some weird way.

so u loving sanji is no issue!! i dont want u to feel like u have to defend urself (although i DO like hearing ur reasoning behind why you like him because its interesting, and it makes me think harder about how i feel about him).

also personally i dont see an issue with consuming media that is problematic in some ways. if the creator is a bad person i think its fine as long as ur not excusing their actions!! i would kind of rather not support oda because i dont like him as a person (which is a personal decision, im not gonna criticize people who support him financially), but i do LOVE one piece and yes. his biases DO affect the story.. but since i dislike oda i usually say "fuck the word of god" and do what i want with the characters. i think its a lot more fun that way!!

sanji is such a mess (affectionately) so i can definitely see the appeal!! half the reason i love one piece characters so much is bc theyre all so SILLY. so unbearably silly. they all have stupid moments, they all have funny moments, and i adore silly people. my dislike for sanji is, mostly, resentment borne out of my intense hatred for being pushed into a box by society. it is almost purely personal. like yes him being a pervert is disgusting and annoying and i hate it, but i think i would be able to ignore it if i didnt feel so personally attacked??? by him?? LOL. i think thats kind of silly tbh . i would usually be able to brush his pervertedness off as a flaw of oda's rather than something to blame sanji for. but since i already have some ... *intense* feelings towards him, the pervert thing just serves to fuel my anger.

but all of that is just My Personal Feelings about him!! i do love him in headcanon/fanon most of the time, and even if i hate him in canon i still also love him purely because hes a straw hat and i love and adore all of the straw hats. they feel like real people to me. and i am obsessed with them. i root for them at any chance and i believe they will find the one piece... if they werent the main characters and therefore guaranteed to find the one piece i would still believe in them 1000%!! <- big nerd thing to say .

also one thing i wanted to ask u about is if u noticed the parallels during whole cake island between sanji taking luffy food and the flashback of sanji taking sora food?? i LOVED that moment. he runs through the rain, has to try to keep a dog from eating the food, and when he finally gives it to the person its all soggy and wet and he apologizes. but they say its delicious. and they smile. i KNOW he was thinking of his mom at that moment with luffy. and i just... ugh.. sanji . sobbing . maybe u talked about rhis and i just missed it but I NEED to know that u saw it.. my favorite sanji lover

this is way more than 4000 characters so i have one upped you!! haha!! [triumphant] (lets hope it all fits in the ask box .. ive never written this long of an ask)

that works, very slay 👍 hi march!!

answering under cut as per usual

first of all i missed ur message bc it came in on april fools amongst all the boops 💀 i’m glad i happened to check my inbox jdnjvnvhv

you can call me mont! (or just misqnon, if you want) i am so glad my rambling eliminated ur anxiety bc i literally do not judge whatsoever and also clearly i am. Just as hyperfixated LMAO

WANO’S ANIMATION LOOKS SOOOO PRETTY…i wont lie ive watched a few clips bc i couldnt help myself. Im still in the middle of WCI but i want to get to wano sooo bad. And i probably will just read wano first (bc . time) but i ABSOLUTELY want to watch it at some point. And yes they 100% picked up on the zoro fanservice my god (i am ALSO a zoro fan. Sanji, robin, zoro, and franky are my fav strawhats and i love them all immensely) he is so goddamn buff in wano what the hell did they feed that guy…they beefed all the guys up in wano though it seems DSJNJKD

Speaking of wano zoro @ dykealloy made this. absolutely insane edit of Zoro, Mihawk, and Katakuri to the song CVNT by sophie hunter and it has a lot fo clips from wano that make me froth at the mouth (link here - be warned of explicit language, obv)

YEA THE VOICE ACTORS MANNN 😭 I prefer the dub bc i actually like everyone’s voices and its what im used to (except luffy, i do prefer sub for him) but i know the og voice actors are getting up there in age…Part of the reason i don’t like the sub as much is bc you can tell the VA’s are way older than the characters they’re voicing and it’s just a bit. Odd (as much as i love the VAs and obvi it’d be weird to change it at this point)

netflix does suck !!!! i was living with my bro at the time so i watched it on his account but yea i dont have access to watching it anymore either :( taz skylar my fucking beloved. The live action cast is all insane. Theyre so cute and funny every single one of them. If u have extra time u should watch all the funny cast videos they did on youtube where they play charades and do little prompts together. The clips of them interacting at cons and out doing promo for the show is usually pretty cute too. Opla wasnt perfect or necessary but it was fun as hell and u can tell the showrunners had a passion for the show. 

I keep making progress in chunks so hopefully i can catch up within the next few months 🧍ive been so busy i havent been able to read in a while! (and also. Whole cake makes me a bit emo) even 2 more islands like ur suspecting would be a blessing. I mean. They still have to go to elbaph right?? And raftel/laughtale so. Thats already 2. Okay i feel better already lmao)

Im so curious about egghead im going insane but i will refrain. Somehow i havent seen any spoilers for it YET (aside from some stuff about bonney and kuma)

ALSO YOU DID NOT MAKE ME FEEL LIKE ITS WRONG TO LIKE SANJI LMAO you were super nice and didnt imply anything i just have catholic guilt about liking him. No one has even ever said something to me in that manner i just know he’s. Complicated. And also sometimes he Sucks. So i’ve thought about it a lot (clearly). 

And coming off of that DUDE I LOVE DOFFY. I watch a lot of melonteee on youtube and even before i was anywhere near doffy they had me on the doflamingo train. He is so insane and weird and downright evil. i drew him one time 😶‍🌫️My last big fandom back in like 2014-2017 was JJBA and my favorite character as Dio and let me tell you. The similarities between their characters is insane (oda / araki crossover event when,) 

The only difference is that doffy is written to be downright evil, while sanji is supposed to be seen in a good/humorous light even though his worst jokes are uh. Not great joke material (momoiro island and all of sanji’s weirdest pervert gags appears behind me). Thanks oda 👍i still get what ur saying though!

And tbh i dont blame you at all for disliking his (or any) character for personal reasons. Its really not that silly. Having recently discovered i might be kinda trans does not do his bits any favors lmao. And as an afab person who hates gender roles and sexism with a burning passion (and almost minored in WGS) BELIEVE ME the treatment of women in one piece pisses me off in a personal way all the damn time. But again, i blame oda for all this. Attacking oda with my hooves at all times every day at every chance

Looping back around to oda/problematic material ur very right. Maybe its bc i was raised on tumblr from age 12 through the worst of the Social Justice Discourse Era but i still get iffy about even consuming content that promotes gross shit in any capacity. I know im bending to the will of randos on the internet who dont even deserve my time or worry, but alas, thats my own problem. I do agree that to some extent i’ll say fuck it and enjoy stuff for my own enjoyment over being “woke” or whatever but there’s always a line to be drawn imo. But for op? Yea fuck it im finishing this damn historic manga if it kills me

I AGREE ABT FEELING LIKE THE STRAWHATS ARE REAL PPL…CALL ME SILLY. Part of it is the fact they’ve been around so long that half of them have existed for as long or longer as their actual canon age. Like. THEY’VE EARNED THAT HUMAN EXISTENCE AT THIS POINT RIGHT, 

Nah but their characterization is pretty damn well done if youre one of the characters oda doesnt sideline coughrobinfrankychopperbrookcoughcough 

And YES. YES I NOTICED THAT PARALLEL. I DIDNT SAY ANYTING BC I’D SEEN IT BEFORE ONLINE BUT I. WAS SO EMOTIONAL OVER IT. the fact that luffy is so special of a person to the whole crew that he can mirror people as important as their late mothers and just. augh,/. Fuck. they say the same line with that same smile….it’s just great storytelling. I dont like oda either but unfortunately he’s damn good at what he does most of the time. (am. Am i your favorite sanji lover. Is that me. Im so honored. he is such a mess but he is My Mess. Please tell me ur fav characters in the next ask (strawhat and otherwise!!)) 

Also damn u totally did one up me. Uhhh here since ur apparently a zoro lover pls take some of these drawings i did of him that i keep forgetting to finish/post in an attempt to one up ur one up)

[scatteredraysofhope]

Okay update guys:

My mom finally came to my room to give me breakfast and talk to me.

And yeah Turns out my old therapist had actually told her I had adhd years ago but for some reason she decided to never tell me 😃

"wow gee thanks like I wouldn't want to know what's wrong with myself!??" like im the one who has to live in this body and go though my life and my mom acts like she's the one who struggles more than me

She was like "yeah you do have adhd. It is very obvious"

She told me I had dyslexia and anxiety but not adhd !!?? and yeah she said it's not a big deal cause other people have it worse and im supposed to just 'get over it' whatever that means. I'm so confused because she yells at me everyday for not being able to get ready on time and procrastinating on projects and how im not normal. It's like she knows I have adhd but never even accepted it herself wtf. And she just blames me for it every day.

Then she started telling me how she was so careful when she was pregnant with me like she didn't even drink coffee or anything and how no one in her family had any mental illness so it's obviously from my father's side (many of whom are mentally ill)

I told her I should probably get it diagnosed then cause you can get medication for it and she was like. 'Whyy?? Your case is not that bad!! You dont need all that! Just eat proper food. Why do you want all that? to be medicated your whole life with side effects? No. You just need to overcome it"

I feel like she thought she was being encouraging!?? But I feel like she doesn't understand at all or just doesn't want to accept it idk. Like how tf am I supposed to just 'get over' my chronic mental illness that has only gotten harder to deal with thoughtout my life!?!?

Also I was 99% sure my brother also has adhd which my mother also admitted herself.

I'm just so confused and I feel like my life is a lie

Anyway yeah... I'm sure that's not the end of this conversation but that's where I am.

Guys I just messaged my mom in the middle of the night that I think I have adhd.

I guess she will read it in the morning but im Im scared how she will react because ahh I hate confrontation.

[soggywert]

Top Gun: Maverick hcs that are on my mind (based off of imos and me and my life) Pt 3

holy shit, we’re up to part 3! hope you’ve enjoyed the series so far! :)

- top gun to me at this point is just a gay club you gotta try really hard to get into

- mav has thunder thighs

- ^^ he has tried crushing so many fruits between his thighs throughout his life ^^

- mav doesnt have a doorknob for his bedroom; because it broke once and he keeps forgetting to repair it. he usually hangs his towel on the doorway to cushion it from any dramatic slam he does so very often (he's a theatre kid)

- slider is actually really good at art. he usually surprises everyone by suddenly drawing a very detailed landscape during a lecture. Iceman is also good at art, but he doesn't do landscapes. He draws Maverick. Doodles of Maverick. Everywhere.

-Pratically Slider and Iceman are the arty kids

- mav has some(multiple even) form(s) of anxiety disorder(s). he acts all big, but he’s usually only a little bit away from having a bit of an anxiety attack (from what Viper said, he has a confidence issue; made me think and all that :,) )

- wolfman and hollywood have the biggest bromance the world can offer. they’re the type of people to make out in front of everyone then say ‘no homo’ right after and proceed like nothing happened.

- maverick has definitely had some slip ups on the bike. he does NOT like to go to someone about it, because he likes to prove he can do it himself because he is a stubborn bastard boy.

- most people in top gun are bastard boys

- mav had a wolverine phase because i said so

- mav cant sit in a chair normally, he has to be sitting on an angle, cross legged, etc. ice is just bloody used to it by now

-Hehe mav sits on ices lap thats just one hc i go back to constantly.

- rooster and hangman usually sit together nowadays and just whisper into one anothers ear and start giggling like a bunch of school girls. 

- ever since hangman became mavs son-in-law (cause hangster), hes fucking terrified of the guy and is instantly suckers up to him. rooster has never seen this before in his life but uses it to his advantage

- goose is probably the origin story for most teachers talking about students falling back on their seat because he did it once and just landed square on his ass

- ROOSTER IS A COPY AND PASTE OF GOOSE AND MAV LITERALLY HAS TO BRING HIMSELF BACK TO THE PRESENT TO REMIND HIMSELF THAT 'NO THAT ISN'T MY DEAD BEST FRIEND, ITS MY DEAD BEST FRIENDS SON' but ofc they become best friends AND father son because I said so

-Penny has a picture of rooster and hangman hanging out in her bar and printed it out for both of them to have. They both secretly have it and obsess over it

-Rooster watches crime documentaries religiously

-Mav isn't actually 5"7, he's shorter. He just wears lifts and has heels on his boots. He wears his boots everywhere to prove this. We dont know his true height, it just isn't 5"7

-Maverick gets motion sickness, so there's that danger to flying that he might accidently throw up on himself.

- everyone remember when ice was playing with the pen and doing all those tricks? well when i was rewatching a bit of pewdiepie, i saw him doing those knife tricks with the butterfly knife and all i could think was ice does that and mav is worried it is a real knife

- cyclone is actually, most probably, the biggest ally in the book because he has to deal with the two love birds, ice and mav, all the time

(Part 3/?) Hcs

I want to do one part strictly icemav or hangster so please help me choose id appreciate it :)

Start here at part 1: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/hangman-puzzlesolver/692152151697473536?source=share

[ppnuggie]

hello ppnuggie <3

can i have a lost in space match up please :3?

i go by sunny, my pronouns are she/they and im omnisexual!!

i have short, curly ginger hair and a lot of freckles,, im planing on getting little solar systems tattoed on diffrent clutters of freckles which is not really relevant ig but,, freckles

my eye color is a mix of blue and green and people have actually argued over what my eye color is at school lol,, i dont really have an aesthetic but i do have these really cool pants with doodles on them and a little ufo on the back pocket that says "i need space"

i have a very cheery personality around friends and i would literally die for them,, i dont express myself around my family as much because they can be really judgy and im really sensitive,, and if im around someone i absolutely hate/someone who has wronged me significantly, i will let them know exactly how i feel - if i do have an issue with someone i will always try to solve the issue in a civil mannar without hurting their feelings,, i rely on communication a lot and its an important thing to me with different relationships

but other than that, im very friendly with new people and friends, im very open and try very hard not to be intimidating, because as an antisocial and socially anxious person ik how it feel when talking to knew people,, im definitely more confident over social media and texts than i am in person.

im an artist!!! im graduating a year early from high school and going to one of the country's best art schools!! ive had art set as acareer path in my brain since the 5th grade,, art is my life

i also dabble in creative writting, mostly fanfics but its just so incredible to come up with stories,, im a big book worm,, if im not drawing or watching cartoons/syfi films im reading, could be ao3, wattpad, tumblr fics, poetry, or a physical book i bought, i will read it

i love syfi and action that simmer in some romance ya know,, it just hits diffrent,, especially alien robot themed syfi,, idk my brain just eplodes when i see space robots

i hate being surrounded by clutter, my surroundings affect my mental state so i try to be as clean as possible to keep my attitude and motivation up :))

i have anxiety + social anxiety,, especially if im alone in crowded/public spaces- went on a college field trip once in middle school and i had a break down at taco bell because none of my friends were there and i was surrounded by strangers,, students or not,,

i hate broccoli and coliflower and public speaking/presentation assignments

im sorry if this is too much? ive never asked for a match up before but the ones ive seen are kinda lengthy so im not too sure :// i might do another match up ask in the future for tfp if its still open i love those funky dudes

anyways thank you for reading my tf stuff and requesting it was the highlight of my week !!! :D

ahh tysm for requesting !! 🥹🥹🙏❤️ im so sorry i havent been able to reply to the comments and stuff you make on my posts 😭😭 i promise im not ignoring you ,, its just this isnt my main blog but instead a side blog ,, my main one i dont bother or toucb anymore 😭😭 but my dms are definitely open if you ever wish to talk or so <33 and np !! i cant wait to see the finished result for the request :D i like your work so much 🥹 its rlly good !! heres you matchup <33 under the thing ,, and dw ,, you can request again for tfp bc no ones rlly requested so far 😭🙏 congrats on the art school tho ! :D hope you do have fun with that !!

𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐃 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 : robot !! :D

𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐋𝐔𝐃𝐄𝐒 :

• he would stay around you often ,, not bothering to spend time with others and instead stick close to you unless you told him not to

• hes very curious about you ,, lights swirling around inside the glass on his face ,, he finds you interesting and nice to be around

• whilst hes not all that sure about humans just yet ,, as they all act differently from one another ,, he does feel safer and more comfortable around you

• whenever he catches glimpses of your drawings he tilts his head to the side ,, wondering about them in his mind

• he loves to see your drawings ,, how each varies differently from one to another ,, it just makes more memories for him

• he has tried to draw something for you before ,, wanting to indulge in this littke artistic hobby of yours and make something ,, though it was only in the dirt as he doesnt know how to use pencils and stuff yet

• he’ll help you with public spaces and crowds and strangers as best as he can ,, making it known hes there for you shall you need some reassurance <3

𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐎

the small stick glided around in the dirt ,, shapes starting to form as he moved it about. he had his mind focused on a plant form ,, gazing back and forth at it as he tried to mimick its shaping. the lights swirled softly inside the glass ,, hand moving to make another shape.

once finished ,, he turned to look up at you. the lights never once stopped swirling ,, a soft hum coming from robot as he awaited for your reaction. laid there in the dirt had been a mishapened flower ,, the one just a little bit in front of you two.

he hoped you liked it somewhat ,, hoping you’ll enjoy his creation as much as he enjoys yours. the lights slowed their pace ,, blue gazing into your eyes as he awaited.

[milkacchan]

Request for anon: Can I have Present mic, Aizawa, and all might where they learn their young student is fatherless? Like... their father walked out/went to prison when they were young. I'm sorry if this is time consuming, but I can't stop sobbing over my father.

I'm the situation baby but remember it wasn't your fault

I changed it up a little bit with Mics- I hope you don't mind

Present Mic:

• from the getgo something was wrong

• The moment you walked into class he could tell

• You looked like shit

• Dark bags under your eyes, hair messily brushed, just to get it out if your face, and your eyes were a light red.

• You didn't look particularly happy to be there either

• something turns in his stomach, a gut feeling that something really had went down

• And he hated seeing his students upset

• but he was relatively close to you to begin with, his felt different

• He felt like he had to do something

• Everyone settled into their seats as the bull rung but his eyes remained on you

• You honestly didn't pay attention during the lesson

• He could tell as much

• class finishes and the bell rings but you sit still, and it's not until most of the students have trickled out of the room do you start packing up

• He walks over and kneels in front of the desk "You okay there? You don't look so good," he looks concerned and his heart drops when he sees your lip start to quiver

• It takes you 0.27 seconds to break and you're frantically wiping your eyes as sobs wrack your body

• He's got his arms wrapped around you in seconds and you're leaning into his shoulder.

• He isn't sure exactly how long you're crying for but eventually you calm down enough to get out a coherent sentence

• "My-My dad was arrested Friday night. He won't tell me why- he won't let anyone else tell me why and I don't know what else to do," you cry, "I miss him so much and its only been a few days- I don't- I don't have anyone else, Mr. Hazashi,"

• And you're crying again.

• He has you take the rest of the day off, in fact he takes the day with you

• He calls in a sub (you don't know what strings he had to pull for that but you don't ask, at this point you don't care) and you two dip

• He takes you to get food, real food, that'll make you feel better

• He knows that'll help a little

• and after that he takes you to get something sweet- that tends to help mood and blood pressure and anxiety

• So he does his best with you

• He nutures you the best way he knows how

• if you need anything and I mean ANYTHING this man has you covered

• He does his best to step up in any way he can

• first off he extends his assignment deadlines and cancels two tests. Who needs them anyway.

• And you eat lunch in his classroom because he can well tell you don't want to talk to anyone else right now

• He closes it off (seemingly) so in reality its just you and him

• He'll probably tell Aizawa too but on the downlow (just so he knows)

• When holidays roll around, the dorms close.

• In this case- he let's you stay with him. He has an extra bedroom. He doesn't want you to stay in an empty house.

• You also get his phone number (which you gladly use) for anything really

• Bored? He'll deliver some shitty puns.

• Confused about homework? Text him.

• having a mental breakdown? He's got you covered.

• You got memes? Please for the love of God send them to him.

• The dynamic eventually shifts to a VERY father daughter relationship.

• He knows he'll never replace your dad. He understands that wholeheartedly, but he wants you to have someone

• He actually gets a letter from your dad, thanking him for taking care of you

• but he really doesn't mind

Aizawa:

• He had a feeling that there was something going on at home. Or rather, a lack of something.

• He's dealt with it in the oast- with himself and with past students and current ones

• Shinsou

• I mean, aside from that fact whenever parents were mentioned, you'd either stiffen up or wrinkle your nose

• You didn't really like the subject of parents

• There was an essay prompt about parents (nothing too personal) nd you ended up writing it on the extinction of dinosaurs and why God fucked up instead

"It'd be absolutely stellar to see huge lizards roaming the earth and occasionally stepping on people, you know? Jurassic park was onto something."

• Man's couldn't even fail you on it because it was written v well

• Anyway, he doesn't pry too much. He just silently figures it out by process if elimination and pattern.

• He doesn't really care too much

• In the sense if it doesn't define you and he doesn't help you because he pities you

• he helps you because he seems potential

• He takes you under his wing with shinsou

• Yall spend a whole summer training

• And that's when it all came out

• It was an accident really.

• Shinsou was tired, exhausted really

• and when people get tired- that tired- sometimes they spout random shot they wouldn't usually say

• and thats what he did

• he went on about his home life

• and if he could, you could too right?? You could trust them.

• "My dad walked out when I was a kid. Little, like 3. I have a few pictures of him holding me, but I guess it wasn't enough. I don't have any desire to meet him. Not anymore. But it left me feeling like I did something wrong? I guess? Which I suppose is why I train. Because then I feel strong. Which is a good difference from how it usually feels."

• He knew it.

• He called it.

• He was right again.

• He reassures you that you are good enough, strong enough, and his decision to leave had nothing to do with you

• and when he saw you give him a soft smile, he warmed.

• I mean really, it only goes up from there

• he'll deny it, or grumble under his breath, but he seems you two as his own

• Like these aren't my kids but they are my kids

• When dorms close on holiday yall get to stay because that's where he lives too

• Like if you chose too

• he's not gonna force you to stay but if you don't want to go home, you don't have too

• He has that power

• He will buy you food

• all you gotta do is ask

• and he'll roll his eyes and grumble something he doesn't really mean, just secretly happy that you feel comfortable enough around him to ask for something

• lmao family group chat

S: 'Hey Mr. Aizawa I found this cat. Hold on lemme send a pic'

A: 'Dont need a pic. Bring him home'

Y: 'What if he's ugly??'

A: 'gremlin. Bring him home.'

Or

Y: 'Hey I saw this tweet that said 'kids be like watch this and do a half roundhouse spin kick clap and waste my fucking time' and it make me think of you.'

S: @ mr. Aizawa when he has to watch deku do sumn

Y: Lmaoooo like when he threw the baseball

S: LMAOO

A: Me watching you too try to figure out how to beat me in training

Y: Yikes bro

S: That was a rough one

• Does he regret giving you and shinsou his number??

• Maybe

• Not really

• Lmao super secret lunch movie days

• Every week on wendesday yall watch a movie. Usually it takes 2 or 3 days to watch the movie since lunch is only 70 minutes

• @ you accidently calling him dad one day and shinsou snickering but it stuck

• dadzawa lmaoo

Allmight:

• Man's has 2 underlings.

• You and Deku.

• Picked you up when he started teaching at UA

• Ion know let's say one day you popped off bc he said some dumb shit and you were like no sir that's clearly wrong

• schooled him in his own damn subject

• the other kids were like 😳

• what the fuck

• Anyway

• He see's you have potential

• And though he's not the best teacher, you seem to respond better to the way HE was taught

• So tbh its easier to teach you

• 'okay, now I want you to beat the shot out if that wall,'

'Okay lmao bet'

• Midoriya is like, hey mayhaps we should analyze the situation

• N ur like noe

• You just don't give a fuck

• about anything really

• other than moving up the ranks

• But even then- its not a super super big deal, you're just gonna do your best but you aren't gonna stress

• However he noticed a pattern w you (even before Midoryia brought it up to him)

• You don't let anyone in

• Midoryia knows a bit more than the other students but that's really only because he's always with you

• a good majority of the week he's w you

• but its not really a deep connection

• you don't rely on either of them

• You do your best to do things on your own.

• He knows midoryias life story

• he knows why he acts the way he does

• but he doesn't know why you do

• he has a gut feeling it could be the same as midoryia

• I mean he already had one kid who's dad dipped

• he'll surely be able to figure out you too??

• So he makes himself a promise that he'll figure it out and he'll become someone you trust

• And he does just that

• When you tell him about your nightmare of a family history he's like mm, makes sense

• but he's happy that you trust him!!!

• He's a BIG suckered for movie nights

• he's got popcorn, snacks, candy, chocolate, soda- he's prepared

• list of movies lined out all ready

• I lowkey feel like he'd be into lord of the rings or fast n furious

• fast n furious at LEAST

• He's really into American action movies

• and he has no problem sharing those movies with you

• he doesn't have a whole ton of money, like he's not rich, but if you or midoryia need something he's definitely there to get it for you

• even if ur like fam no you don't need too

• he'll buy yell food a lot

• a l o t

• and cards

• when you and midoryia get him a father's day card he thinks he's gonna cry

• You guys also have a group chat

• 'da faemilee'

• Y: "Hey dad do you have milk?"

A: "???? Do I have milk????"

Y: "ya I'm looking in your fridge n ion see any???"

A: "How'd you even get in????"

Y: "Izuku."

I: "lmaoo"

Or

Y: Izuku you dumb bitch I left for ONE day

Y: And you got into a fight with Bakugou

I: He wanted to throw hands. I just did what you would do.

A: He's got you there

Or

A: What do you guys want for dinner

I: Sushi

Y: Chicfila

Y: Izu square up

I: K

Or

Y: Izu is fighting kacchow again

A: Beat his ass young midoriya

Y: Lmaoooooo

[jinnyu]

regarding romance!

╒══════════════════╕

Used artwork credits

Hop

Bede

Leon

Raihan

╘══════════════════╛

———☆️

Hop🍀

It started as the cliché love story about falling in love with your very own bestfriend

Which, actually turned out great??

His Zacian/Zamazenta loves you as much as it's trainer does, and is willing to protect you from anything

Probably because it observed Hop being protective over you, and proceeding to do the same

Sure it might took a toll on him when you defeated him on the championship semi-finals, but he wanted you to be happy more than anything

He's such a sweetheart even if he doesn't show it much

The type to appreciate small little things, especially when it comes from you

"Let's camp together!!"

You camped together

He got chased by a wild steelix whilst trying to gather data for his research later

His Zamazenta/Zacian was busy playing with your own legendary

*from the distance* "GAH! HELP!"

You ran after him and calmed down the wild steelix

Then you walked to him and checked if he got any wounds or scratches, which leads you to cupping his face gently with a worried look on your face

Hop's blushing

He's freaking out inside

You didn't notice the tint of blush dusting his cheeks,which gradually reddens with each second that passes

"im okay, dont worry" he tried his best reassuring you

Even though he's blushing, he proceeded to press his forehead gently against yours, closing his eyes and smiling

oh no he's cute

You're blushing

haha blushy reader

You let him do his thing, its somewhat calming

He's warmm

His hands are calloused, different from yours; you just remembered this when he placed his hand on top of yours while you were checking for his wounds from before

This just shows how much he's been working off to reach the champion title

And yet he's completely alright with you taking the spotlight

After all, you're his shining star

And he wouldn't have it in any other way

You let him borrow your champion cape

And he lets you borrow his labcoat

It fits just right with you! And it got his scent, which calms you down whenever you're feeling anxious

When you wear his labcoat, you're 1000000000% irresistible to his eyes

"Don't be so adorableee" he said as he pulled you into a hug and burying his face in your neck

You only laughed softly at his reaction. He was blushing too,,,

You often waited for him to finish his lab work, even if it's until late hours

He's a really hard worker, no wonder he stayed until late

"Im sorry for making you wait"

He looks exhausted, but tried his best to pull a bright smile, not wanting to worry you

You only gave him a warm hug, which surprised him at first before he hugs you back and proceed to walk you to your house

💓💓💓 < your heart

Comfort time

There's usually some jerks who'd tease you for being the champion, or flirt with you in an impolite way

If Hop caught on to this, he would politely ask them to leave

If they still dont understand, his legendary comes out of his pokeball and growl at them

He'd ask them one more time to stop bothering you, but this time, with a menacing smile that says "stay here any longer and you wont get to see another daylight"

Then he'd check up on you, asking if you're alright, if they did anything to you or whatnot

Hed wrap his arms around your waist and drape his labcoat over you, because he knows his labcoat always manages to calm you down

"It's okay, you're okay, everything is alright now, c'mere"

You let him hug you as you feel safe around him, and you two stayed in that position until you feel alright again

💕💕

———☆️

Bede🍰

He's not the best at showing affection but at least he tries

You help him come out with quizzes for his gym challenge

And sometimes joke about the poses he makes when practicing

Sometimes, he gets reminded that you're the champion of Galar and he's way out of your trainer level

Which actually motivates him to become the strongest gym leader there is by pushing past his limits

"I'll show you how strong fairy types can be"

He said to himself as he was thinking about you

People kept misunderstanding fairy types after all, and thats a big mistake

You appreciate his efforts in maxing out his strength, and you show it by coming to his fairy stadium whenever he battles a challenger

You texted him "good luck, I'll be cheering 4 u!❤️❤️👍" before his matches start

And you looked at his direction after sending the message

He has just gotten your message, and opened it

Which leads to him blushing furiously as he covers his face with one of his hands

He took a deep breath and tried to regain his composure, only to fail miserably when he saw you looking at his direction with pure ambition and determined eyes as you grinned happily

All that i could say is, he's red as a beet

He wont lose this match, not when you're watching him.

He puts extra effort when you're watching his match, and made sure not to slip up. It'd be embarrassing if he did.

Opal notices this and only smiled seeing her successor acting out of his place whenever you're around

Opal knows something that you dont, and that's Bede's feelings for you

After his match ended, his Hatterene walked towards your direction, pulling you into a tight hug

You were surprised, but apparently Hatterene has grown to like you ever since she first met you

And when you look at Bede's direction, he was looking away with his arms crossed infront of his chest, visibly drowning in embarassment

,,,you wondered, is Bede projecting on his Hatterene or what,

Yes, yes he is

So you asked him if he also wants a hug, which of course he answered with "Why would i want a hug from someone like you? That'd be an insult to me"

You let go of Hatterene and hugged him anyways

He flinched when you hugged him, not knowing where to put his hands and just let them stay still in a defensive pose

Hatterene watched with a smile from behind you, seeing her master in such a flustered state was truly something new for the Pokemon

Not long after, Bede finally let his arms wrap around your waist, giving in to his subconscious and just hug you

he wanted to hug you anyways so thats a win win situation

You were actually surprised when he hugged you back

He smells nice!! Like perfume?? Cologne?? Floral scent

His Hatterene decided to join in and wrapped her arm around you both, making you all hug even more tightly

Bede cant handle this well.

No, not at all.

His face was really red and its hot— in all honesty, its cute, but he was burning

"Why do you have to embarrass me like this?"

You buried your face in his neck, which startled him as he couldn't think at all

"Y-you!!"

He feels nice and soft, so you're not planning to let go any sooner, likewise with Hatterene.

Bede's mind: ASDFGHJKL????—GODDAMMI—

OKAY NOW COMFORT TIME

His true nature would come out when you're not feeling yourself or when people would makw you feel like shit

"Hey.."

His face shows concern, but it still his usual look of coldness— however, his actions are warm despite his cold features

He'd let you wear his coat as he battles anyone who dared to hurt you

"Are you alright now..?"

He cupped your face and made you look at his face, swiping off the tears that stained your face with his thumbs delicately

He hated seeing you cry, and he'll try better next time to make sure you didn't cry

———☆️

Leon🌟

He's kind at all but sometimes he's just... "???????"

Training!! Dates!!

More like battle tower dates because he really admires your strength as a champion

Occasionally, he'd visit your house and check up on you, wondering if you're free for the day for "quality time"

At first, he was surprised to see one of the legendaries answering the door for you

And he couldn't resist to ruffle it's hair

your legendary on the other hand was kind of irritated by it

So it let out a displeased howl

Which leads you to come down stairs and see who is it

"L—leon?"

He looked up and greet you with a goofy grin as your legendary returned to your side, walking with you

He treats you like a gentleman, and sometimes is very strict with your training regimen

In which you usually whine about because you're the current champion and you have no business listening to him

But he'd swoon you with lovely words

And you would easily fall for it

you hate this

You hate him

No you dont

You love him, you could never hate a goofball like him anyways

Hey did i ever mention Leon's sense of direction is shitty

You went on a date in Wyndon a couple of times and he still gets lost everytime

"Ah!! Hey—....."

"Im lost again aren't i?"

He tried to find his way back to you but got surrounded by paparazzis

Even if he's not the current champion

You saved his butt since he couldn't say no to the people and his fans

He said thank you and hugged you, lifting you up to the air before pulling you close to him

This only made you laugh softly as you hugged him back, letting your fingers comb his thick lavender like hair

His body is warm and comforting, you really like his cuddles and hugs

He came into your house one time when you didn't answer his calls or messages, only to find you drown in your anxiety and self loathing

He pulled you in his arms and let you cry on his shoulder until you're all done and alright again

He'd draw circles over your back and tell you reassuring words— tell you that you're more than enough and he's grateful to have you here, alive and well

Your Zacian/Zamazenta got out of it's pokeball and helped you in calming you down too by giving you small licks on your knee

It'd whine whenever you're sad and climb onto your bed, nudging your arm afterwards as if it's asking what's wrong

You're lucky to have them both whenever you need them the most, and they're lucky to have you

———☆️

Raihan 🐲

It's finally the Character y'all been waitin for, dragon boi coming through

Okay serious talk here— Raihan is TALL

His hoodies makes you look smaller than you already are

You tried copying his "Gaooo~" pose a couple of times while wearing his hoodie

Its cutest thing he has ever seen his entire life

It makes him melt everytime

Okay aside from that, he's gentle and laid back, even if his personality is quite the opposite when he's on battle

He's cLINGY ASF

Don't forget his fangs, never forget his fangs

You're actually curious about his fangs since the first day you saw him

And he lets you touch it whenever you like

Youre still curious, because what the hell, its so cool

The first day you saw him after defeating him in a match and gain your gym badge, he immediately took an interest in you and your strength

"Hey Challenger!"

He called you before you tried to take your leave, gaining your attention

He then asked you if you want to practice with him next time, and have a rematch when you've become the champion

You agreed and exchanged numbers

What can i say, he spams you like?????? A lot

And casually sends you pictures of him and his duraludon

You love his dragons, especially flygon

Flygon loves you too, and one time it wanted to come with you

Raihan lets you keep his Flygon and you send him pictures of you with it

He sends emotes of duraludon crying, wanting to join you and your fun trip with Flygon to grab the Champion title

After you took the Champion title, Raihan greeted you with a big hug

And you hug him back with no hesitation

"Congratulations, may i have a selfie with the new Champion?"

He asked in a teasing manner, letting you down on your feet as you nodded

You took a selfie selfwith him numerous times before he posted it to his social media

He captioned 'First person to get a selfie with the new Champion'

He took pride in that, and some of his fans were jealous that you managed to get a selfie with him

From that day onwards, he'd have casual selfies with you, sometimes hilarious one and sometimes its just for showing off

You didn't mind it really, he's a celebrity anyways, so you understand why he does that

"Hey.. do stars have feelings"

It was three am what the fuck Raihan

You squinted at your screen seeing his message

"Why in the Galar would you be awake, dear Dragon tamer?"

You answered him

And immediately he answered "oh? The Champion is awake?"

You guys didn't sleep afterwards and was sending streaks of blurry selfies

It was fun and helped you cheer up

You got some of his blurry pics that he captioned "party rock in the house" when clearly its just him and his pokemons

What a goofball pt.2

You love him anyways shut up

Haha smol reader pt.2

[asingleheart-shapedbraincell]

Obey Me! Brothers as Werewolves

Lucifer

Gonna remind everyone now that alpha theory was disproven and actual wolf packs act as family units

That being said - alpha, clearly

Not because he's the strongest (though he is) but because he's the most nurturing

Considers all his brothers (and you) to be his responsibility and under his care

Second biggest in wolf form (next to Beel)

Thick, dark fur, great in winter but in summer hates how hot and itchy it gets. Shedding his winter coat is an EVENT. Scratch him and fluff just falls out by the handfuls

Hates how patchy he looks when shedding, very grumpy when its happening

Refuses to ask for help when it comes to brushing out his coat, but if you're somewhere private he is very happy to just lie there whilst you brush out all that itchy loose fluff

Also just very nice to pet in general, but rarely let's you outside of softer moments :/

Not outwardly aggressive - when correcting his brothers behaviour hes more likely to just growl softly instead of going for a full snarl. If he actually shows his teeth then things are serious and you might want to have some final words with your jugular

Isn't very affectionate in public, but is very protective - wherever you go, if hes in his wolf form hes by your side, or at the very least is keeping an eye on you

If anyone he doesnt like the look of approaches you, he calmly places himself between the two of you. If that isn't enough trust me, a staring contest with those eyes isn't going to last long

Mammon

Pretty boyyo

White fur thats not nearly as thick and long as Lucifer's but still has a substantial ruff

Uses his wolf form to run away from loan sharks a lot (hey, four legs are quicker than two, right?)

Also loves the attention he gets from girls - he knows he's handsome in both forms, but girls say it more when they think he can't understand them

Sheds the least of all the brothers, but since his coat is so pale his hair is more noticeable so he still gets flack for getting it on the furniture

Hes still needy as a wolf

You know those videos of huskies throwing massive tantrums??? Yeah, hes on that level, his dramatics only kept in check by his tsundere nature

Loves it when you pet him. He'll pretend he doesn't, but the second you stop hes gonna start whining

(Doesn't) hate it when you baby-talk him

Not generally aggressive within the pack, just prickly - maybe a growl or a huff here and there, maybe a snap if someone's really pushing his buttons

He is possessive tho

Will physically put himself between you and other people to get your attention. If the other person doesn't take the hint, then he's showing teeth

If you don't let him sleep in the room with you, you'll open your bedroom door the next day and find him curled up outside

Definitely wants to put his head in you lap and have you stroke him til he falls asleep but refuses to admit it

Gets jealous if you're petting another brother at the same time as him and will throw a tantrum and try to shove them away from you

He was your first pact, which means he has first dibs on all cuddles!!!! What do ya mean that's not a rule??? Thats totally a rule!!!!

Leviathan

'Hes not dog friendly'

Spends very little time in his wolf form (its hard to game without opposable thumbs)

Does sometimes shift out of shock tho

Like, if you kiss him unexpectedly, poof! There's a wolf infront of you, who's blushing lobster red underneath all that fur

Will hide under the bed

✨separation anxiety✨

Glued to your side in wolf form, because he doesn't like or trust other people or wolves (and definitely NOT because he likes your company and wants you to maybe pet him 😳😳😳)

Kinda likes that you can't see him blushing when he's in wolf form

Will lie next to you and wait for you to initiate pets. Especially loves it when you scratch him behind the ears.

Because hes a shut in and doesn't spend a lot of time in his wolf form, his fur is the messiest - patchy winter coat, small tangles, really just needs a good brush (but only if you do it)

Not really aggressive to others, just not friendly. Maybe a growl every now and then, and sometimes a tantrum gets thrown, but thats it

Satan

Still quite cat-like

Hes not going to be throwing any loud husky-like tantrums

Doesn't like that he can't read books in wolf form (difficult to turn pages without hands) but does enjoy the emotional release for his anger when it comes to hunting Hell-Hinds and other demonic deer.

Fur is short, sleek, a lovely pale gold and well-kept (when it isn't bloodied by his most recent hunt)

When he isn't hunting he does enjoy stretching out infront of a fireplace and warming his fur

Is unopposed to being brushed when he's in the position, and may even allow you to pet his head gently, but thats it

Might lay his head in your lap tho

Sheds the least of all the brothers

Still tries to control his temper in wolf form, but you better hope he maintains it because those teeth can issue you a one-way ticket to the afterlife

Sometimes snaps or growls at his brothers, but is more likely to just leave the room if they're annoying him. If they're in his room then they're getting chased out with their tail between their legs (except Lucifer who wouldn't invade his space like that)

Asmodeus

Who's a pretty boy???? Who is???

Its him!!!!!!

Friendliest of all the brothers, if only because he loves the attention people give him

Will walk up to you and just wait for the compliments (not unusual, tbf)

Doesn't love the hunting side of being a wolf - mud???? Blood??? Sweat???? In MY fur??????? I don't think so

Only really partakes when necessary, or if he's decided to go for a roguishly disheveled look that day

Uses his wolf form as an excuse to get affection that would be less appropriate in his human form - belly rubs, giving you puppy-dog eyes to be let up onto the bed, getting you to give him a bath - stuff that Lucifer would be more likely to reprimand him for when he wasn't a wolf

Softest fur of all the brothers - sleek, silky and always throughly brushed out, even when shedding. Plus, loves being pet so long as you don't mess up his fur too much.

Beelzebub

GOOD BOY GRANDE

The biggest of boys, the goodest of boys

Loves being in wolf form because its even easier to get food from people

You think his puppy eyes are bad NOW??? WAIT UNTIL HES AN ACTUAL PUPPY

Very comfortable in his wolf form, spends the most time out of all the brothers like that

Has absolutely no shame begging food from people's tables, no matter where you are. Also has no shame stealing food from people's tables, but will whine and act ashamed if they yell at him

Dont yell at him. He's baby.

Incredibly fluffy red coat, that and the amount of muscle underneath makes him the biggest wolf in the pack by far

Big doggy grin that could melt any heart

So tall that when he wags his tail you have to make sure it doesn't sweep everything off the table

Also loves being pet and doesn't mind baby talk at all. You can treat him like an actual dog and he won't get mad - he'll play fetch with you if you really want, but as a warning, the stick might end up more than a little chewed

Will, however, also go digging through people's bins

Also kinda slobbery

Is pretty much never aggressive, but then again, who would be stupid enough to provoke something with that much muscle and teeth???

If you scritch the right spot behind his ear his leg kicks out. He's not ashamed. More scritches pls.

But his favourite spot for scritches are under his jaw and his chin

WHAT ARE YOU EATING??? HEY!!! NO!!!! WHAT IS IN YOUR MOUTH???? BEEL YOU CANT EAT CHOCOLATE WHEN YOURE A WOLF!!!!! DROP IT!!!! DROP IT!!!!

Belphagor

Smallest of the wolves

Enjoys sleeping in wolf form because the fur adds an extra level of cosiness

You will just find him curled up in a nest of pillows with his nose tucked under his tail. Or flopped across a sofa, until Lucifer yells at him to get off the furniture

Has that intense stink-eye that some huskies are capable of.

Sometimes forgets to shift, or can't be bothered and will just wander around attempting to do people things until he realises hes in the wrong body - you ever gone to brush your teeth and then realised you need hands for that???

Definitely walks around holding his cow pillow in his mouth, or sometimes a plushie

Or dragging a blanket

Honestly its very cute

Does enjoy being gently pet as his drifts of to sleep

Which is good because his fur is always mussed up from his last nap

But if he falls asleep on you???? You're not moving. Sorry not sorry. This is your life now.

Little wolf bleps when he sleeps ➖👅➖

Has definitely vomited in Lucifers shoes as a wolf at least once, simply out of spite

Thick fur, but not long. Sheds a lot, but his fur is so dark you don't see it as much.

Lets out little muffled woofs and yips when he sleeps, and twitches when he dreams of running

If you scratch the right spot when hes sleeping, his leg will kick out the same as Beels, but if you do it when hes awake he'll get embarrassed and either leave, or give you a warning nip

The most aggressive with other pack members - hes just kinda bratty. Huffs a lot and is quick to give out little nips when he isn't happy, though he isn't much of a growler and never goes farther than that

Won't play fetch like Beel, but if you're REALLY lucky, he'll bring you a plushie of your own when he joins you for a nap

(Also, im relatively new to the game, I know there was a vampire event, if there was a werewolf event im unaware of it atm, but this is just for fun anyway)

[corpsehusband-simp]

Weight of the World

WARNING: This is a sensitive Fic that deals with depression, mentions of dark thoughts, punching a wall, and anxiety. It has a fluffy ending. 

A/N: Please put yourself first and don't read this fic if it will put you in any kind of dark place because of what is metions and please know that my DM’s are always open. Feel free to message me all hours of the day or night, I am always here to talk.

 Request: this is a touchy request so i understand if you are uncomfortable with writing it. it’s kinda a comfort/coping prompt but can you write corpse x reader where reader has been going through manic depression and just pushes everyone away and performs self destructive behavior, and corpse has to talk y/n out of su*icide? recently i’ve just.. been really going through it is all i can say. if you don’t wanna write it, totally understandable ❤️

Paring: Corpsex reader, Sykkuno x reader (best friends)

You rolled over in your bed as your phone rang, hiding yourself further into your covers. You woken up yesterday morning and your depression had hit you full force. You couldnt really put a finger on wheat caused your manic depressive episode but it was kicking your ass. It had been a while since you felt like this and you couldnt find the strength at the moment to pull yourself out of it and in doing so you were pushing away the person you loved the most. Corpse. The love of your life but you couldnt even answer his phone calls or texts. Instead you physically turned away from his caller ID, the last time you had talked to him was through a text yesterday telling him that you needed space and that was all.

The more you thought about it the angrier it made you, the angrier you became with yourself. As your mind slipped into darker, angrier thoughts your phone rang again but think time it was your best friend Sykkunos ring tone, Big booty bitches. 

Corpse must have called him. You thoguht before reluctantly picking up the phone, wiping tears from your face. “What Sykkuno”

“Oh uh h-hi y/n. I just wanted to uh call you and check up on you, you didnt come to the Among Us lobby yesterday.” You sighed.

“Im fine Sy.” Your tone was short and rough, you hated acting this way but you didnt want to pull anyone else down intot the slump that you were in.

“O-okay, well im here okay. Love you y/n/n”

“Yeah love you too sy. Never forget that.” and with that you hung up on him, tears running down your face again as your thoughts continued down a dark route.

CORPSE POV

Corpse was going out of his mind trying to figure out what was going on with you. After your text yesterday he had been battling his anxiety on wether or not he should oush the situation, corpse knew you depression could get back sometimes but he also understood sometimes people just needed space. So he turned to the only other person he could trust right now, Sykkuno.

“Hey buddy.”

“Oh hey corpse, whats goin on?” It made corpse smile to hear that at least sykkuno was still his normal cheerie self.

“I need a favor, I think y/n is having another episode butbut she wont answer my calls so I was wondering if you could try and call her for me. See if she answers.”

“Yeah of course man, but why dont you just go over there?” Corpse sighs.

“Im going to but I dont want to push ya know. Its- this is a touchy thing.” Sykkuno hums in agreement before hanging up. Corpse paces back and forth in his livingroom till Sykkuno calls back.

“Hey Corpse”

“Did she answer?” Sykkuno sighs.

“Yeah and she doesnt sound like shes doing very well.Im actually really really worried Corpse.” Before Sykkuno could even finish his sentence Corspe was grabbing his car keys and hoodie.

“Im heading over there now, Ill text you later with and update. Thank you for calling her.”

“Of course, just keep me updated.” Corpse faster than he ever had , it was a mirical he didnt get pulled over.

Please be okay, please be okay. He repeated in his mind over and over as he run up to your apartment door. He entered quietly and quickly, not even bothering to take his shoes off. You entire apartment was dark and eerily quiet but as he neared your bedroom he could hear your quiet cries coming from the bathroom. He knocks on the door and tires to open it but it was locked.

“Go away.” You cried with broke Corpses heart.

“Baby girl, please open the door.”

“NO please just go away!”

Your POV

You felt out of control as you cried so you puched and yelp in pain. Corpse wastes no time kicking in the door.

“Im sorry baby Ill fix that I promise.” He says quickly as he kneels down beside you. You didnt know if it was the suddenness of the door kicking in or him beig here or both but you broken down into even more of a crying mess on your bathroom floor. Corpse pulls you into his chest and you try to fight him off. 

“No leave me alone, go away!” He only held you tighter and closer.

“Y/N I’m not going anywhere. We made a promise to eachother remember? We promised to never leave eachother remember? Me and you together. Im promise to fight next to you. So please just breath and let me help baby please.” Eventually you stopped fighting against him and clung to him like your life depended on it, and in this moment you were positive it did. You didnt know how much time passed between that moment and when Corpse finally stood, holding you bridalstyle as he carried you to the room. You laid both you you down, never letting you leave his hold. As you laid there Corpse left sof kisses around your face and whispered sweet loving things to you.

“You are so strong Y/n” He ran his fingers through your hair and kissed your forehead. “You are beautiful and smart” Corpse kisses your temple. “You are worth every single breath you take, every single atom and molecule in this universe that you take up you are worthy of.” He gently lifts you chin so you were looking up at him with your red, puffy eyes. “A wise girl once told me, that I know it gets hard and feels like the weight of the world is one your shoulders but theres two of us now and you dont have to take the weight on alone.” You sniffle and look up at him.

“Hey I said that.” Your voice was weak and horse from crying.

“Yes baby girl, you did, and I hope you knoe its true. I am right here.”

“I dont want to burden you, I know you have some much on your plate already I dont want to throw my shit on there too.” He shakes his head and lays his forehead on yours. 

“You arent burdening me, the only thing that ever puts more stress on my plate is when you push me away because I cant help you when you do that.” You sniffle reaching up and brush your finger tips across his cheek. 

“Im so sorry I put you through this.” Tears started to well up in your eyes but Corpse qucikly wipes under them and peppers your forehead in kisses.

“Hey hey hey none of that baby. Alls well now. Im here now.”

“Thank you my love. You are my rock.’

“And you are mine”

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[lol-q]

There’s so many things I love about the show that I haven’t seen people give enough credit for and I want to go on a little ramble because people are focusing so much on what they don’t like vs. what they do. So here’s my list. Sorry for the grammatical errors 😬

I love that the lesbian main character is this sweet, innocent, big hearted young woman and not portrayed as a overly sexual fuckboi that hits on every woman. I love that Fatou is soft and gentle. More lesbian rep like that please

I love the soundtrack. It’s exactly the type of stuff I imagine Fatou would listen to and it’s not just the top 100 hit songs.

I love that they use the soundtrack as a way to connect to the plot line, like the lyrics to the song Fatou was listening to when she was on the rooftop said “And I hate to leave you feeling all alone.But your story cannot start until you've grown. You can find how to be OK on your own. I just can't be the one that makes you feel at home” which was a hint as to where the plot was going

^^ also the song playing during Kieu My and Fatou’s museum date

I love the little mannerisms Nhungi chooses to show as Kieu My. The happy little bounce she did in ep 1 when she called out Fatou’s name and when she subtly checked Fatou out by looking her up and down.

I love how their rooms show their individual personality so well. Like Fatou’s room in the beginning of the season was normal and then it became increasingly messy as the episodes moved forward, showing her stress and chaos in her life

I love the height difference between Fatou and her brother lol

I love when her brother and her were thinking of what to get their parents so they split the bill on a gift - a very subtle way of showing siblings interacting

I love when Fatou and Ismail interact cuz it’s so funny

I love the physics teachers speaking voice, he sounds like kermit the frog

I love fatou’s eyebrows. Idk it’s just so perfect. Give me tips plz

I love that the characters rewear clothing. And it’s not a show where every episode is a new outfit with new clothes. Very realistic and it always bothered me when teens on highschool on tv have new clothes every episode

I love that Fatou’s original bio on tinder was “wanna cuddle?”. I feel like that girl would rather cuddle with someone than win the lottery. She’s so soft (also why did it say she was 24 in ep 2 when she was on tinder lol)

I love that the show showed the struggles of coming from a bilingual family and being the only one that struggles to speak it. When fatou was talking to her grandparents with her brother and her brother had to translate for her and it was awkward af, I felt that. I’m the youngest in my family and I struggle to speak Tagalog so people have to translate for me sometimes and it sucks.

^^ I relate to fatou so much in that scene cuz the dynamic in my family is the same as Fatou’s. My parents lay off and let me and my brother do our thing unless there’s an indication we need their help. The only time I ever spoke about school with my family was when report cards would come and they would see my grades weren’t that good. I remember my mom seeing I had a D in middle school and automatically jumping to conclusiosn without letting me speak. My brother is academically successful and he would also try and get me to do more school stuff when I was younger. Like he would make me do math problems to help with my grades. So it’s all very relatable for me

I love when Fatou sings, her voice is so soft and smooth.

I love whenever Kieu My and fatou are flirting both so blatantly and yet so subtly. Like the tension is there but it’s still awkward despite how smooth they both try to be it’s so adorable

I love how Fatou and Kieu My are so confident flirting and talking to eachother through texting but when it’s irl it’s still awkward and new. It shows the reality of an actual relationship in the making. It’s not just a full head dive into “I love you”.

I love when they were at the table tennis bar place and Fatou was hyping up Ava when there were dudes looking at them and Ava did a fancy ass turn and smile. She’s so pretty

I love that Fatou’s problems were shown in subtle ways in the beginning with money. Counting money at her job and when she wa trying to pay for the drink at the bar. It was a small interaction but in real life it would cause a lot of stress and anxiety if money counting problems kept happening over and over again

I love Yara and Josh’s friendship. More platonic friendship between a male and a female please. Also more Yara in general please.

I love that Zoe owned up to her actions last year to the entire group (minus Ismail Constantine and Kieu my) on New Years. I see her owning up to the role as Nora’s big sister.

I love when Josh was drinking a lot during New Years and Fatou was trying to get him to slow down. It shows how big her heart is for her friends. Also I think Josh and Fatou could be great friends

I love that Kieu My looks at Fatou like she hung the stars. When Fatou mentioned she knew Kieu My was a Scorpio, it’s the first time I’ve ever seen that girl smiled so big (before episode 5 of course)

I love that whenever they kiss Kieu my is smiling.

I love Sira’s side profile. There I said it. Girl has the jawline of a Greek goddess.

I love that they change Fatou’s hair. She looks good in every hair style but it’s always nice to see her in different styles.

I love that they showed the struggles of being a passive and gentle person. Because we’re not assertive in regular everyday life we are easily looked over. And it’s hard for us to muster the gusto to be assertive and take what we need because we prefer shying away from conflict and just letting things flow. I relate to fatou’s character so much in that sense. I lowkey think this is the universe’s way of telling me to stop being so passive about life and to take charge idk.

I love that the topic of white savior and performative activism was touched on. And I love that it was between two friends because it’s very realistic to how dynamics work between young people these days. The way they handle it differs in opinion but the fact that they even spoke about it was great.

I love that moment when Kieu My wrapped the vietnamese pancake in the lettuce snd handed it to Fatou. Its so sweet. If I was Fatou I would have forgiven her right then and there lol

I LOVE THE HEIGHT DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE TWo. YES MORE HEIGHT DIFFERENCE.

Episode 6. Just all of it. Even the angsty part. I want more of that. Episode 6 yes. I’ll marry episode 6

Kieu My wearing Fatou’s cardigan. 💕💕💕💕💕💕✨✨✨✨✨😫😫💕✨✨🥺

^^ but also as a person that tried bangs before, you can’t tell me that girl woke up with her bangs perfectly in place lol. This girl probably bought a mini straightener or something too

Fatou telling Kieu My it doesn’t matter if she wears make up or not rather than going off on how she looks prettier without it. She’s just like “it doesn’t matter. You’re pretty no matter what, my little space nerd”

Pissed off fatou is a hot fatou. Js

I love Sira’s acting in general. But the way she shows Fatou’s sadness is great. It’s not just tears and that’s it. When she got fired it was a build up of tears but she wasn’t sobbing, same thing with the cashqueens argument. But she broke when her and Kieu My got in a fight.

Finn being socially awkward. It’s so funny cuz Zoe is this bubbly party girl and her boyfriend is so awkward. Nice balance.

^^also his hair makes me laugh idk why

Ismail opening up to Fatou shows how so many people feel at ease with her. Girl has a calming presence for everybody, she doesn’t even realize how much she’s helped others.

I love that Constantine wears the same jacket over and over again. Idk it seems to fit his character.

^^also kudos to the actor who plays him, he’s doing an amazing job

Love Fatou. Love her dimples and her soft voice. She gets all high pitched when she’s normally speaking but when she was fighting with Kieu My her voice became lower. Just love the way Sira’s voice sounds. Also Nhungi’s speaking voice.

Love the shaky camera movements. The fast pans and the slow motion dance scenes.

Love the aesthetic of Kieu My smoking but PLEASE DONT SMOKE, CHILDREN. ITS BAD FOR YOU.

Love the different aesthetics of the cashqueens

Love maike. Great actress. Give this turtle an Oscar.

Love Kieu My climbing the roof to help her Fatou. Softie to her girlfriend but an ice queen to the world lol.

Love the actors. Love the characters. It just makes me so happy.

This is so well written, i might actually cry no but really it was really nice to read your positive and cuteee facts after the tag check :/ and it really helped because i get mad and sad when i see bad takes. Everything you said was so true and i think im fangirling over this essay. And it made me emotional 👉👈.  Represantation does really matter.

This season is so important for so many people and i don’t think some people realize that when they’re ‘’criticizing’’ some things. Not only we have a lesbian main, we have a black lesbian main who is the softest person in the world and she has LD and/or ADHD. I sometimes can’t believe we got to the point of skamverse where we get rep instead of hurtful,problematic seasons and plots, some might interpret that as shade but it really isn’t, careless storylines really does hurt ppl and why would you want to hurt people when you can give 8 min of sapphic museum date instead 👭🌌 :)

i love this season, i love this gen and i love this essay

[palmett-hoes]

per your post "every single one of the monsters is autistic and/or adhd" will you elaborate on that?, if you do i will love you forever (not that i wont if you dont do it)

oh boy i would love to!!! unironically nothing brings me more joy than writing long, convoluted character analysis posts

---

okay so i’ve written several posts before about why andrew is autistic. his moral code, the roundabout way he communicates, his body language, his stimulation-seeking behavior, his strict adherence to transactional deals, the emphasis on honesty, and a dozen other details. at this point i just take andrew being autistic as fact, not just an interpretation

h o w e v e r  i also hc that andrew is dyslexic, which is also a neurodiverse condition

- - -

similarly, i’ve seen more than one person interpret kevin as autistic, and i absolutely agree that it fits. not just the hyperfocus on exy but mostly the way he communicates. he’s very indirect, especially in his affection but very direct with his opinions. he tries to be helpful in a material way to the people he cares about, even if he comes off as negative. he wants the people he cares about to be safe and successful so he pushes them to work hard and reminds them in measurable ways how to stay healthy. he doesn’t factor in a lot of room for emotions, so instead he focuses on quantifiable things that he can improve. i personally act very similarly. approaching someone emotionally is hard for me, so when the people i care about have problems all i can think to do is try offering solutions, check up on their well-being, etc. practicality instead of conventional sentiment is extremely common with asd

- - -

so now let’s talk about neil. i had to think on this one for a WHILE but ultimately came to the conclusion that neil is adhd, probably hyperactive type. 

like obviously neil is high energy. i would say he probably does the most exercise of anyone on the team. morning run, morning practice, afternoon practice, night practice with kevin and andrew, plus he doesn’t have a car so he runs to class (on a BIG ass campus), and goes for an extra run when he feels stressed. that’s... insane, honestly.

neil reminds me SO MUCH of this post that goes:

“Was just informed by my mom that I do in fact have ADHD and the reason I thought I didn’t was because ever since I was seven whenever I got super energetic my mom would have me go chop wood so now when I’m feeling The ADHD I go chop wood”

(phenomenal post) and that’s neil to a t. tell me this isn’t exactly how neil handles his problems and also exactly what mary would have had to do to keep her unmedicated and very energetic son focused on the task of staying alive

neil also definitely has that ADHD on/off switch with his interest. the obvious being exy which is like the definition of a hyperfixation, but you can see it in other things: the way he runs totally hot or totally cold with people, his complete disinterest in his schoolwork, the way he can’t seem to sit still long enough to follow movies. but then there’s also the hyperfocus. doing the same drill for hours on end. watching exy game after exy game. staring at andrew until time falls away

what’s more, neil on many occasions shows racing thoughts, both in an anxiety way (and anxiety often goes hand-and-hand with adhd) but also as a way to quickly and accurately take in details about people to build a character profile of them. this is what allows him to connect with the foxes, how he manages to get through andrew’s puzzles, and even how he knows what to say in order to knock riko down a peg. his brain just works so fast and it takes in a lot of very specific details and disparate information to make connections.

but also like,, neil has a HUGE problem with time blindness. like the instant he didn’t have his mother around to manage and direct him anymore he lost all sense of time. he stayed in Millport for a YEAR. and what did he keep telling himself during that time? basically “i really need to move on, but not just yet.” for a YEAR! then he gets to palmetto and he’s like “i’ll cut and run in a month or two” then he doesn’t “i’ll be gone by halloween” wrong again “i’ll leave by the raven’s game” nope. like,, the boy just has NO sense of time and he can’t seem to make himself DO anything outside of an externally enforced schedule. and even then,,, HE HAD 48 FUCKING DAYS TO FIGURE OUT SOMETHING TO DO TO NOT GET MURDERED! 48 WHOLE DAYS. he didn’t make a plan, he didn’t write down any letters with goodbyes, he didn’t GO TO THE FBI LIKE HE’D INTENDED TO THE WHOLE TIME! nah he just made out with andrew and when he finally got to zero he was just like “ah shit, that was fast. oh well guess i’ll die” and that’s time blindness, babey!

---

let’s move on to nicky. 

now i think it would be really easy to say nicky is just adhd because he’s high energy and forgetful but tbh,, i don’t think that’s all of it. like if you really look at nicky’s character and especially at his problems, he has asd problems just as much as he has adhd problems.

so nicky is dual diagnosis asd and adhd. also nicky reminds me a lot of a girl i used to know who was autistic/adhd

so, adhd:

very generally speaking, ppl with adhd will struggle with sitting still, listening to and following instructions, planning/organization, following a schedule, and some social boundaries like “appropriate” times and topics of conversation

i would say you see hints of this with nicky. he’s definitely a rambunctious personality, constantly on the move, constantly stimulation seeking. he’s very tactile. he likes to dance, he likes to party, he complains about it but he’s an elite-level athlete. he’s also decidedly very chatty, and doesn’t seem to really pay attention to what he’s saying. he distracts himself and the people around him have to keep him on track. he has some trouble with boundaries. he’s a little all over the place. he’s almost a bit of an adhd stereotype

also one thing i find interesting is that when neil sees him in the library doing work neil is surprised to see he’s capable of that, especially bc when we see the upperclassmen doing work they generally do it in their dorms or on the bus and/or with other people around. that hyper-social nicky would be alone in a quiet place is weird. but this is like the most common tip for dealing with adhd. don’t do it in a familiar space. have a designated space and time to do work. limit distractions. just a lil detail

so now, asd:

in all honesty, most of nicky’s actual problems in the narrative could be viewed as stemming from asd symptoms. his number one issue being that he has a lot of trouble with nonverbal cues (and tbh, verbal ones too). the twins are mostly quiet. andrew especially (when he’s sober) communicates primarily nonverbally, and nicky seems to have a lot of trouble with this. despite knowing them for the longest on the team, nicky honestly seems to have the least insight into the way either of the twins actually thinks or processes things. he loves them, and he’s very forgiving of them, but he fundamentally doesn’t understand them. 

the twins, andrew especially, put up a LOT of nonverbal boundaries, and nicky sort of inadvertently keeps trampling all over them. he’s touchy in a way they don’t like. he talks a lot about their personal lives to other people. he treats them like they’re joking when they’re serious. etc. and like,,, you kind of get the sense that the upperclassmen feel similarly about him. beyond the homophobia, beyond the fact that he’s loyal to andrew, the upperclassmen still treat him with this sense of,, bafflement, i suppose? it’s clear that they don’t really understand him and he doesn’t really understand them. although, nicky IS curious about the upperclassmen, while the upperclassmen are pretty dismissive of him. it reminds me of when my sweet, floppy dog tries to play with my cat. their body language is different; they’re each receiving different signals than they believe they’re sending out

only,, nicky loves people!! he likes being around them, he likes talking to them. he’s interested in their lives and stories, but it’s very clear that he can’t read between the lines on people. he has an incredibly hard time with people who expect their actions to speak for them, which is most people, but is especially his cousins.

actually this is very much also an issue that i have: things need to be spelled out for me. the way i deal with it is i ask a lot of questions. ‘how do you want me to react to this potential situation?’ ‘what are specific things that make you most comfortable?’ ‘please explain to me exactly how you feel and what has prompted those feelings?’ and i’m always communicating vice versa like that with other people. a lot of specifics in both questions and answers

and the interesting thing is, when i was skimming through the books reviewing dialogue styles for another ask, i noticed that, actually, nicky DOES do this. with neil and the upperclassmen, nicky asks a LOT of quick, clarifying questions. things that ask after tone, that ask after intent. it’s kinda sad that he does this for communicating with acquaintances, but with the twins, the people he’s closest to, he makes a lot more assumptions. and i’m really proud of nicky for having this coping skill, because i can’t imagine it’s something he grew up doing. there’s no way he was raised in an environment that fostered this kind of open communication so it must have been something he learned about much later, probably in germany with the kloses, which would also explain why he’s a lil imperfect about it

---

now last but not least, aaron

this is another one i had to think through for a long time before it felt like it fit

much like how i felt that it would be easy to read nicky as simply adhd rather than also asd, i think it would be easy to say aaron is autistic simply because he is quieter, less rambunctious. however, i actually think he’s adhd, likely primarily inattentive type

in all honesty, aaron’s #1 character trait for the first two books is basically that he’s disconnected. detached. separated both from his family and his team. not in the same forcefully apathetic way that andrew is, more,, spaced out. he’s just kind,, there. not really paying attention to what’s going on, tuning in every once in a while only if something really catches his eye/ear then tuning right back out again. just sits in his corner and plays on his phone. and the thing is, from the moments when he does tune in, you can tell that he actually does care. he backs nicky when seth insults him in tfc, and we know he cares deeply about andrew even if he’s become disillusioned with their fraught relationship. he even hangs with his family, doesn’t seem to really try and slip away to other friends besides katelyn, he’s fine spending his leisure time with the monsters. so it’s not totally apathy, he’s just,,, tuned out most of the time

and, yea, that sounds like adhd. it’s not the type that most people are familiar with, and for a lot of people this causes it to slip under the radar. it can make it hard to get help or a dx because it doesn’t fit with how adhd “should” look or how someone “should” act, but difficulty focusing your thoughts and staying in tune with the current moment is absolutely part of adhd

addiction is also a huge problem for people with adhd. a lot of stimulants affect people with adhd very differently than neurotypicals, especially in small doses, and an adhd kid who’s struggled their whole lives with the disorder might try speed or god-forbid meth or fuck even coffee and suddenly find that things are a lot easier for them. they start to self-medicate, they don’t actually know what they’re doing, and then they’re addicted, and everything spirals out of control. we don’t know too many details about aaron’s addiction other than that his mother enabled him, but wouldn’t this fit? it’s also an explanation for aaron still taking drugs at eden’s, given that cracker dust seems to be a mild amphetamine. (aaron talk to betsy about the neurocog and get an actual prescription please)

(total throw away but aaron plays videogames and videogames are like,, adhd culture)

[morizoras-cave]

Big Smile (Request)

Tom Hiddleston x Teen!Co-star!Reader

Genre: Angst, fluff

Request Description: maybe some Tom Hiddleston who is close to reader cause hes like her mentor and shes a very happy person, goofy and silly as well but nothing can make her cry. Like, it's genuinely hard to make her cry so maybe him seeing her cry for the first time? and it's pretty bad? maybe its cause she goes to a normal high school along with a catch up high school (basically a school where u go to if youre SERIOUSLY behind) and the pressure is way too much for her to handle and her emotions exploded? ty!!

Warnings: depression, anxiety about school, stress

(A/N): im very excited to be going on vacation!! dont worry ill still update, im just going to another city nothing too big (of course with the ‘rona still out here). I wrote like half of this on my phone btw so if anything looks weird that’s why

“Why would you say it like that?” you laughed loudly, falling back on your bed. Tom giggled too, watching as you got into a laughing fit.

“I’m just demonstrating that you can say each line differently!” he defended, but your laughter didn’t falter. Tom smiled and shook his head, waiting for you to be done. “Can you hurry that up, we have a couple more lines to go through,” he joked.

You held your stomach and shook your head. Finally, the laughter died down and you tried desperately not to start it again, as Tom continued helping you with the script. You forced your mouth into a frown, but that only reinforced your need to laugh. 

Tom looked and saw your expression and sighed, making you laugh again. 

“This is impossible,” he muttered, but he was smiling. He thought you were so incredibly sweet and bright, although lacking a little seriousness. 

“Hey, it’s okay,” you finally stopped laughing AGAIN, “we’re done. Those were all the lines I had questions about.”

“You sure?” 

“Yeah,” you said and both of you stood up. Tom grabbed his jacket and his bag from the counter of your hotel room. He smiled at you and hugged you as a farewell. 

“See you on set tomorrow,” and then he was out of your room. You smiled softly thinking about how much fun you two had, but the sweet moment was over far too fast. 

You had school. You’d never been a top student or anything, but before this whole movie-thing you’d been able to keep up. A couple of weeks ago you started Catch-Up-High-School, which you’d been required to start, since you grades had all dropped. 

And since then you’d felt awful. You felt so stupid and useless. And on top of that, you were stressed. With both regular high school teachings and catch up school, you seemed to spend every waking moment working, either on the movie or on school, and you’d only sleep once you were done. Which could take a while. 

It was getting to you. You were phenomenal at hiding it, truthfully. Because your personality was too bright and blinding for anyone to see anything behind it. 

You weren’t one to cry, but you felt it behind your eyes, constantly. All day, when you remembered your school situation, it started coming. You never cried, not when watching movies or reading books, you didn’t even really cry when you were sad. The stress was simply getting to you. 

You pulled out both your math books, both regular high school and catch up high school, which you had neatly tucked away when Tom came, and started doing your assignments for the day. 

Your head hurt, as you did it, and it was so hard for you to understand. You wished you could ask Tom for help, but you couldn’t tell him. It was simply too embarrassing. ‘Hey Tom, I’m too stupid for regular school, please help?’ What would he even think of you?

You hadn’t even done your assignments for long, when you started crying. You were just writing the answer to a question, when a tear slid down your face. You wiped it away as quick as it came and continued. 

But so did your tears. You cried silently as you worked, ignoring them, eventually not even wiping them away. You were just trying to get through it, chewing through your lip. 

Just as you failed to figure an assignment out, your pencil broke on the paper, and you threw it away from your, putting your head in your hands. Then you sobbed, and you weren’t trying to ignore it, you were doing it. You were sitting there, and all of your focus was on the seemingly never ending stream of tears from your eyes. 

God, what kind of person are you if you can’t even do your catch up school work? You felt so unbelievably heavy, heart wrenching and tingling. 

Meanwhile Tom had hauled down a cab, making it about a third of the way to his meeting, when he realized he’d left his phone at your place. He sighed and asked the driver to drive back to your hotel, knowing he’d need it.

Tom drove back there, and then stepped out of the cab, telling the driver to wait for him. He entered and pulled out his keycard. Your room had had two keycards and you’d given him your second one, which had made his heart melt. 

He walked down the corridor, reading the room numbers, and then reached your door. He grabbed the handle and scanned the keycard, effectively cracking open the door.

And there you were. Tom blinked rapidly, refusing to believe that that was you, so immersed in your own crying that you hadn’t heard him come in. That couldn’t be you, not the smiling, laughing, happy Y/n he knew. You were sitting there so dark and alone, hugging your legs and wailing. 

You never cried. Never. It had gotten to the point where him and his coworkers had discussed it, whether you were some robot or something. But you were crying. You were alone. 

“Y/n?”

His voice made you flinch and you didn’t have to look at him, to know you’d exposed yourself. You, although knowing it was useless, wiped your tears, before raising your head.

Tom was heartbroken. He’d never thought about how he’d actually feel once he finally did see you cry. But it was such a gut wrenching image, something he could feel in both his stomach and heart and throat.

“What’s going on?” He asked. You shook your head. He simply stepped inside and saw your regular high school math book, immediately knowing you were probably stressed. “Do you need help with your homework?”

You laughed bitterly, another tear sliding down your cheek. Tom walked to you, sitting down next to you, so he could wipe away the tear.

“What’s wrong? Come on, talk to me.. What happened?” He searches your eyes.

“I’m just stressed, Tom, it’s stupid,” you avoided his gaze. Tom knew it wasn’t stupid. If it was you wouldn’t be balling your eyes out.

“So, let me help you with it,” He heard how his voice was shaking.

“Tom, no.”

“Yes-“

“No!”

Silence. Tom pulled away from you. He was simply shocked. You weren’t you. He closed his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, voice breaking, as you started crying again. When you yelled at Tom, you felt your heart withering. What a horrible feeling.

“I’m sorry for yelling. It’s just- I feel so useless. All the time. I’m failing school! I mean, for God’s sake, I have mandatory catch-up-school. Do you know how embarrassing that is? God, how can I be so stupid?”

Tom finally understood why you were crying. Why you were so stressed, why you were crying like that.

It was tough.

“You’re not stupid, Y/n,” you immediately shook your head at his attempt to console you, “You’re not! I’m serious. You’re smarts come from your understanding of people, and your talents in acting and everything you love. Not from your schoolwork. Your grades are not your worth. You’re the smartest kid I’ve ever met! I mean it.”

Your crying turned to sniffles and you finally nodded. You agreed. You hadn’t felt so sure of yourself in a long time. A small smile found your lips.

“Thank you, Tom, I-I really needed that.”

“Oh, of course, N/n,” he mumbled and pulled you into a hug, burying your head in his chest. You wrapped your arms around him.

“Now my offer still stands. Do you want my help doing the homework?” This time you nodded, and the two of you spent the rest of the day doing all of your homework.

When you were finished, you apologised profusely, but Tom just smiled and said he’d do it any day. Every day onward while you were working on that movie, he’d ask you after shooting if you needed any help, and always insisted it was his pleasure. With Tom around, you never had to feel useless again.