#i don't want to fail my class
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Y'all
i need ideas
i need ideas for a reader quiz for my school newspaper
help pls
#ideas#newspaper#school newspaper#i need ideas#please help me#i don't want to fail my class#if i fail this i fail the one thing im good at
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Shakespeare
Hello and sorry to @flamingbluepanda who asked for heartfelt declarations of love. Does murder count? But thank you so much for this! I've been neck deep in chaos and this has been lovely to step back for a second because it's such a wonderful prompt. And thank you once again to @galladrabbles too!
Anyway, any chance to bring up my dearest Lady Macbeth, I will. Obviously, warnings for blood and murder.
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The waxy motel soap in Ian’s hand is nearly gone.
Crimson scores his palms like lacerations, soaking into the creases of his skin and no amount of lather will erase the stain. He trembles over the basin and begs the water to run clear before they can be traced and discovered, because they will be questioned; Terry Milkovich’s gut didn’t cleave itself.
Ian groans and growls at the damned blood, tears of frustration welling and pooling as he scrubs and scours and scratches and claws…
A grounding touch dispels his frantic thoughts.
“Your hands are clean,” his lover whispers, soft.
#Shakespeare is so versatile#I will most likely be back later#because I will also be unable to stop thinking about it#also I couldn't decide while writing this if Ian actually killed Terry or not#technically to mirror Macbeth Mickey is the one who killed him and Ian is just the one who convinced him to do it#which tracks for Ian because he would absolutely simultaneously want Terry dead and then feel guilt for his murder#but also#Ian killing Terry! yay!#also also do you know how many tabs I have open about iambic pentameter?#I didn't understand it in shakespeare class#and I don't understand it now#what do you meeeeean its the stress of the syllable? I can stress ANY syllable! It's a free country!#There's a reason I nearly failed literature lmao#ian x mickey#gallavich#galladrabbles#my writing#fic tag
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There's only one person I truly hate with all my being
#and its some random bitch from the internet#fuck you jackal#talking about how I started hating him would require TRIGGER WARNINGS.#he almost made me fail my freshman ELA class because I had to spend all hour comforting my friends who he hurt#then all was forgiven because “he's a kid! he can change!” i never forgave him and he never truly changed#he tried to tell lies about me to my friends#and. for context. this was on discord#it was a community where I was one of the 3 pillars of it. and I'm close with the other 2.#me C and H were the people people wanted to be friends with. or wanted to *be*. we were the top 3 of everyone! and im not being conceded.#twas a small community#I was known for being skilled! but also. people thought I was kind. (some people thought I was bossy because I was kinda strict)#< (strict being I don't tolerate bullying or slurs at any capacity.#but so. when Jackal lied to H. H knew it was bullshit.#anyways Jackal stuck around somehow even tho everyone KNEW. The Jackal Situation was an ARC in that server.#anyways C made Jackal a mod over a year later bc la-de-da-de-da people can change~ and he wasn't a dick. for about 5 minutes.#he got fired today and i was fucking ECSTATIC#I hate him#he thinks hes hot shit. he's hot garbage is what he is#he's so tone deaf and abused power constantly#i never stepped in because I have such a strong hatred that i can never be fair to him again#im permanently against him. he'll never ever gain any respect from me.#he lied. he baited us. he made my friends spend so many sleepless nights crying. he tried to make them die by saying theyd go together.#i saw through it.#anyways I like to believe I have a good judge of character bc he always made me uneasy#he gifted me nitro and was polite before baiting us. but i was like. ehhhh. what's wrong w him?#anyways he's a pissed off bastard now#anyways heres some previous life drama hooray
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not doing any of my homework or my missing work ❤️❤️ i just spent the last 4 hours watching invincible❤️ i am failing 3 classes ❤️❤️
#they should NOT have put my ass in the smart kids english class. i simply dont do things that i don't want to#probably gonna fail drama cause im not rehearsing at all#its ok i can always start crying on command and be unable to stop and go back to the counselor for 3 hours like i did last week#my family doesn't believe i ACTUALLY have anything wrong and i dont need any sort of diagnosis.so!!#ill just continue to lower their expectations until they HAVE to.
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Is this fanfic friendly? I feel like an outlier.
I guess this is my sign it's time to throw together a FAQ post to link to lol.
Yes, every event for this blog is fanfic friendly :D
Though as I mentioned on my Ominous October post, for events that include multiple short stories, I encourage everyone to flex their creativity and take one of their planned short story fanfics, and at least *attempt* to turn one of them into something entirely original; rebuilding a character and story from the ground up to stand on its own two legs is no easy feat, and that is what makes it so fun!
It really gets your creative gears turning, to make an "au of an existing material" to be something entirely original, and you can be pleasantly surprised about the things you come up with!
As a few people say, its not just a matter of "filing the serial numbers off" -- you have to add in just as much *or more* as what you take out when you are turning a fanfiction into something that is original and completely divorced from its original source material / inspiration, and that is a hard, but very rewarding challenge!
Obviously, this is not a requirement (there's no hard requirements for any of the challenges, other than no cheating, including no using AI),
but if you would like an extra challenge for the short story events and you're planning on doing entirely fan-fiction, I highly recommend trying it out at least once, and seeing where it leads you--
you may find yourself pleasantly surprised by what you find down that rabbit hole!
#replies#novella november#long rambly tags to follow lol#including anti royalist / anti billionaire shit#ominous october#this is what my novella november is going to be#something that WAS a huge earth-shattering fanfic AU#but before I even got past a WIP Oneshot I'd already realized that what I was planning was going to turn canon so far on its head it would#be unrecognizable and it would be much better off and more coherent if I made it entirely original#so now it is!#not only does this involve changing every single characters name#everyone is now a completely different species other than human because thats always fun#and of course we're also tackling all the issues that had annoyed me in omega verse fics since I was like 14 and liked the#creature aspects but hated the biological essentialism and misogny / caste systems#if your fantasy people have an enforced caste system you gotta actually treat that like the horror and systemic oppression it is#not just say 'biological = right' like dude what do you think people have been saying about real women this whole time????#people literally insist women are biologically inferior to men do you really think supporting that idea is going to make you sound#progressive just because your main character is a tomboy independant woman?#also like she lost all her independence as soon as she found a man to marry so uhhhhh#what happened to being ready and willing to hit the bricks if people kept talking down to you and condescending you for being a woman????#why did you go from independant badass tomboy to fainting damsel who spends all her time worrying about failing to produce an heir#so her husband can take power#instead of just straight up telling your husband#'hey I don't want to deal with the bullshit from your father how about we do the-#- socially acceptable thing and just go off to make our own independant settlement with some of the villagers who are on your side'#like your husband would literally be escstatic about this idea of finally getting out from under his dad's tyrannical thumb#and its more like way more than half the villagers would go with you not just a handful#theyve been sick of the kings shit for years and only your husband's potential rise to rule kept them in check#cus he actually cares about the villagers and goes among them#while still clearly having some biases to work through when it comes to class and gender equality
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Sorry for slow moving content/communication. I love to write, it's no obligation and if anything I'd prefer to write and draw over school anytime.
I'm just a little depressed right now, school and work together are making me very tired. I'm failing some classes and I feel very a little down because of it, I wish college wasn't so hard :-(
#i feel like this is the hardest I've ever worked in my life#I've always been considered a 'gifted' child growing up#I was in honors and AP#so failing for the first time really stings#I've never been this sad before#I've been told it's not the end of the world but I'm scared#It's all still new to me#i hope i can retake the class#i hate ranting sorry please block the 🩹 tag if you don't like seeing it >.<#I want to have the energy to write sooo very badly#🩹#💬#i love my job it's not hard and the people there are like family#job is not the issue for those wondering#Does anyone have any experience with failing a college class?#I'd love to hear from another person's perspective#Because to me this is the worst thing I've ever experienced
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Kinda fucked up how all the people I know are like "Yeah I know what I want in my life. I want to work in X field and I want/don't want a long-term partner who I'm going to marry, I want kids and-"
and I'm there just like 🧍
#like wow ok#i have no idea what i want man I'm just doing what's required of me#or more like i think i know some of the things i want but I'm actively beating them up every day and instead choosing#what i consider to be my duty#like yeah I really want to work in design and you know the dream is character design and concept art but that's unrealistic#and any design would do. but that's selfish so like lol no. psychology it is. social work if i fail at that. it's an acceptable#compromise. it's not what I want but it is what i am ok with subjecting myself to.#whenever it looks like I might fail a class at university i get really anxious but also really excited#because on one hand I'm failing to take care of my duties and responsibilities. on the other if they kicked me out nobody could#say i didn't try. i could just say that I'm too stupid. i could say that i don't have what it takes. id be a failure but not out of my#volition. they could tell me that im stupid or inferior but they couldn't label me selfish.#and then id just fuck off to work as a florist or maybe id just work in a smokes shop or anything low stakes like that#while I'd be looking for a job in design. hell i don't even need a job in that field; id love to just work a simple job where after clocking#out i could just go home and partake in my hobbies. like i wouldn't even need to have it as my field of work id be perfectly#content with posting character designs online and sometimes getting a small buck by selling pins and dolls and etc#that's definitely what i want in life. but that's fucked up and selfish and would make me a failure and then i would never#be able to even dream of earning humanity. so. doing my duty it is
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no really there is a special kind of academic grief when your classes are fascinating, they present interesting challenges, your homework is stimulating, fun to do, and you feel good when you get it done, your classmates are kind and fun and have so much interesting shit to say.
but you're wayyy busy spending your time 50% trying to be the best potted plant your parents have ever owned 50% blasting your brain with endless stimulation lest you start crying and hitting yourself because you had an unpleasant thought.
#ngl it was extremely hard in the first few weeks like socially and regarding the working environment#(2000 students in a building that's Not That Big is awful i wanted to rip my ears off)#but i deeply miss having FUN during exams#listen. is it fun to be at 8am sharp in the exam hall? no.#was it a fun feeling last year to hang the whole trajectory of my life and education on 5 exams? no.#but they were fun i was having a good time i really liked constructing my point throughout the paper#i'm dogshit at it but it doesn't matter the point was that i was having fun and practicing and improving#now i work half an hour out of four being extremely slow at making the worst plan i've ever made in my life#and then the lethargy takes me and i sleep standing straight in my chair the whole three hours that i have left#awful#the whole point of picking a cursus with a lot of classes and a lot of homework was to escape my parents#that since they value academics and my dad went to the same cursus when he was young therefore they'd know it takes a lot of work#that they'd leave me alone and they wouldn't keep feeding into the fucking compulsions or whatever the fuck they are#but NO no again it's clear that no matter how much time i spend with them how much i center my whole life around them and their routine#it's never enough it's never enough to earn myself some peace#their way is the objective Good and Comfortable way to live and deviating from it must mean i'm wicked and sad and i'm failing and them too#no matter how clear i have tried my best to be on the many occasions i've told them THIS IS SOMETHING I DON'T LIKE AND DO FOR YOUR SAKE#i was more independant when i was younger and everybody told me it was wrong it was weird i was just a wittle baby who needed mommy#i didn't earn this independance#now i'm trying my best to please them and comply with what they want. except what they tell me they want they don't want apparently.#and it doesn't earn me any independance either#broadcasting my misery#vent
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wow
I sure do love signing into a class and getting a video from my instructor aggressively insinuating that myself and my classmates are idiots because he was using a very specific definition of the word teamwork, that was not ever in the book we're reading from, for our last assignment. So far the course has been us independently reading parts of the book, uploading our presentations that are based on a bare-bones rubric then the instructor boomer yelling at us in a video about how we're idiots for not understanding the exact and unspecified definitions he has for things (oh and it all has the underlying flavor of that kids these days need to be more independent and to stop being 'soft' ignoring that this course is supposed to be teaching us things rather than confirming that we know things)
#he reminds me of my dad (derogatory)#it really feels like he sets us up with an assignment knowing that we're going to fail it in some way and instead of doing anything to#keep us from failing or to help guide us around those spots he is waiting gleefully in the wings to call us stupid#this last one was how he doesn't do group projects because there will be slackers and he went about it in the worse kind of way#instead of focusing on how no group projects means that everyone can individually earn their grade he went for the angle of it's to#punish slackers#so yeah#very much a course I don't want to repeat especially if this is the only instructor for it#school stuff#and yeah I might be a bit sensitive to being called stupid (see my first tag for a clue) but fuck man this is borderline not professional#the underlying message that I'm receiving from it is 100% not but the way he's saying it skirts on the professional side technically#looking forward to writing up the course evaluation for this one but he'll probably take the negative reviews as a badge of honor#he's got the same feel as a teacher who is proud a bunch of students fail their class#because that means the content of the course is difficult or whatever
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the worst part of break is the last day when you're just drowning in stress thinking about going back. i feel literally physically nauseous
#the stupidest part is that i'm so fucking stressed mostly about my fucking FILM class#more than any of my honors courses#i haven't done enough work in it at all and i'm so embarrassed about it so i don't want to start working on it and show how little i have#done so i get even more behind#i have a film i have to make and it's only half done and now i can't fucking find it in my files cuz i'd planned on working on it this brea#but i got sick and wasted 4 days of my already stupidly short break#i have TWO whole presentations on an actor and a director and i don't CARE or know about any actors or directors#i just feel sick#i wish i could drop it or just fucking fail it but i can't#it's so so stupid#i'm never gonna be able to take another class with that teacher from the fucking shame i feel actually horrible every time i go in her clas#and the worst part is that it's literally my fault i could have just done the fucking work and i didn't#kiwifae says shit#ugh okay this made me feel better i need to just figure out my actor director presentations (which are my fucking final btw 😭)#i accept the shit grade i'm getting on the film i can fix it if i make decent presentations i'm just mad i'm doing bad and getting so#stressed over a dumbass extra class like film production like what#i still don't think i can take another class with her she's really pleasant but i just feel so so sick whenever i go in there cuz i feel so#guilty#which is a shame cuz she teaches photography which i would really like to take#maybe senior year idk i might not care anymore then#also i'm aware this isn't a normal amount of shame and anxiety just for procrastinating i just feel super bad abt this for some reason#sorry for ranting but i'm just blehhhhhhh rn#ok i'm gonna get something to eat and take a shower maybe i'll feel less like i'm dying#👍
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Breaking news bad option nobody wanted you to pick still feels better than good option nearly everyone else wanted you to pick and in fact your whole society is set up for you to pick and if you don't pick it there are mental and financial consequences but crucially, it feels worse
#when you live in a society.#this is a little bit about the time i'd had enough one semester and knew that if i didn't turn in my essay i'd fail the class#but i really wanted a nap. so i had a nap and failed the class#and i still don't regret it at all#everyone i've ever told gives me things i could have done could have emailed the professor could have called in to work#no. you don't get it. i'd done all of those things that same semester in different classes#i WANTED a nap#anyway sometimes your whole life kind of feels like this. yikes
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...
#love that my body decided to incapacitate me the weekend before i have to read 5 different papers for classes#and it would b one thing to just read them but no for 3 of them i have to give detailed interpretation and 1 i have to present on#ive already failed to read one bc i forgot we had to do 2 papers for monday. oops. not that i could have done it anyway. i barely got 1 done#and im on track to fucking up the one due Tomorrow as well#im just fucking tired of reading fucking chemistry driven papers that i dont understand no matter how many times i read them#and everyones like oh itll get easier but no it fucking wont bc i cant fucking read right#its so fucking frustrating. why do i even bother? im so tried#i don't even have the paper im supposed to present on so ill have to do it all tomorrow. cool. great. not that i could do it today anyway#im just. this is gonna b a difficult week#and i misused my whole day by doing extractions bc i scheduled my training a week ago when i thought i would b fine over the weekend#nope. its fucking bullshit. this is y im like. y do i even want to b in academia?#how could i b a prof if i cant read well? its fine to b dyslexic as a math person but im like i have to read so much and so little gets thru#but then what the fuck else am i supposed to do? idk. im just gonna write down something for all these questions and go tf to sleep#ill get up at some horrible time in the morning to finish this. damn the consequences. ill see my therapist tomorrow anyway#and meet with my advisor like 🤪 yo guess what i made zero progress this week#sorry u got stuck with me while im going thru a year of fucking health problems#but whatever cant get rid of me now im already here. here and tired and i wanna go to bed#unrelated
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i cried SO MUCH and i am still crying, but i was in irl house's office today 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
#jo in the tardis*#i cried before the class and then we had to do this exam on the computers#as a final evaluation or whatever and my account just WOULDN'T work and irl house and my favourite assistant were there with me#trying to fix it and they were both like you are ALWAYS on this account solving everything we know you would know how to log in#and then we managed to do it and when i tried to hand in my answers it just wouldn't accept them#so that's why i was in irl house's office because he was trying to fix it#and he has SO many books there... sooooo many i was just turning around trying to read every title#and i just kept thinking i really really hope i have this someday#and i had to try soooo hard not to cry right there#i've never had this in my life. ever. never ever ever ever. this sense of belonging somewhere entirely#and i think both irl house and my assistant sensed this was my problem today and they were both so kind to me#and she literally said that it doesn't end when the classes end ANY of it i can always come to lectures and ask them things#and that also made me want to cry#i just really love this place and these people and i can't afford to lose it... like i don't know what will i do if i fail this year#and can't come back for the next... i've finally FOUND my place and i can't lose it#like what will i do...
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Hi everybody!! I'm so glad you guys seem to be excited for this!! I've already gotten a lot of submissions so far ⟨(0o0)/
Unfortunately, I made this blog in a very busy season at my school... I have a bit too much homework to respond quickly for now. I promised Uncle Kaz I wouldn't let this distract me too much. I guess I didn't plan that well... oops. _(>.<)_ But I'm looking forward to going through them when I get the chance!! I'll try not to keep you all hanging for too long, okay? Oh, and don't feel like you have to stop sending things in in the meantime. I'll be fine!!
Thank you so much everyone, and I hope you have a good day!! <3
#one of my favorite things about this blog so far has been making up my own (°v°) type emoticons bc i never use them#but i feel like she would love them#also i think maybe i'll break character in the tags? that seems alright i think#anyway yeah oops i started this like Immediately before all of the pre-finals projects are due. like i have 3 presentations this week 😬😬😬#agony. we'll be fine though. anyway again thank you all for your interaction!! i was kinda worried this wouldn't take off at all#also to the anon who pointed out the issue with the banner: im working on a response. im going to change it#and i wanted to address it properly but im not sure i'll have time for a couple of days. but it Does matter to me#and i'll talk about it more explicitly and at greater length then. genuinely thank you for pointing it out to me#i wanna make things right. i just need a minute so i don't like. fail my classes#i'll try to get to it tonight. thanks again
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#Howwwww is it 5am already I want to go home#I begged my parents and sibling to let me go home to my own bed and they wouldn't let me#I don't want to be the solution to our family problems I want to go be alone and not here#I understand me being around more would make our parents nicer and give my siblings someome sane to talk to#But I want to die and I don't want to be here and I don't care about any of these people#Once again them forcing me to go to their house made me miss an assignment. So that class is genuinely failed now.#It makes me so frustrated I could cry. Every time I say I'm doing school work#Or say I can't drop everything and drive forty minutes to their house. they laugh at me#They genuinely laugh and say I'm such a liar and I'm faking and there's no way I ever do any school work#I'm actually shaking I'm so frustrated they don't understand. That's how long it takes me.#Why can't they just realize I'm a dumbass fucking idiot. I'm so fucking stupid#I'm literally so stupid. Intellectually I'm a fucking idiot and I am so useless and slow.#Stop trying to believe I have potential to fucking waste#The fact is there is no potential but I'm fucking wasting anyway#I'm so. Dumb. When I say I'm doing school work I mean I looked at the tab and got nervous about how overdue#everything is and how I'm failing and everyone wants me to leave my safety for their own inane bullshit#I wouldn't be failing this class at all if I had been able to complete the first week on time#instead of like. sitting outside a convention center alone and in agony for Five (5) hours.#Kudos to the devil for creating the exact perfect circumstances to kill me in particular#I should reach out and go to a friend's house and it would be good for me. But.#There's no way I'm going to see or speak to anyone in this state of everything#Everyone else around me seems to have improved in mental health I'm not going to ruin that by making them let me come over#No one really believes any of the problems I have like even I don't. how are you that stupid. just stop having these problems.#I can't go to a friend's house when I have problems like this. Last time I had a breakdown and scared the fucking host and#their partner had to be the one to comfort me because I was crying too loud for autistic ears :(#I can't do that to anyone again#I'm not kidding when I say I'm a huge burden genuinely I exist to be upsetting and inconvenient and frustrating#I am literally the most selfish person to ever have existed. Just objectively. I don't care about anyone or anything at all.#I don't love my friends or my family and I don't care about what they want or need. truthfully.#I just want to sit in my tiny room where nothing changes and no one expects me to drive anywhere holy fucking shit it's 6am
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lads i think i may quite literally be drowning
#multiple panic attacks today over the amount of work i need to complete over the next 10 days to not like. drop fail everything.#i can feel my heart at like. all times at this point.#i need to write planning documents for like 6 different events this week#and then also write commentary describing why these plans are effective#and then also create all the handouts that are supposed to go with these plans#on top of creating an overarching plan for another class (in the group that refuses to respond or contribute anything)#on top of creating a presentation for the same class (same group)#and all of it is still due. within 10 days.#i legitimately don't know what to do other than weep continuously and just work without stopping.#my stomach hurts because i had to scarf down my food in time to keep working#i still need to complete one of those planning documents tonight to stay on track but i need to sleep in an hour if i want to be functional#i'm drowning in the most dire way possible
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