#i don't want any of y'all to feel that way about this one
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Are we gonna talk about how that finale entirely erased any conversation about class divisions or are we too focused on ships?
Are we gonna talk about how Caitlyn for a good chunk of the season willingly enforces violence and opression against the lowest class, no doubt directly causing more deaths and suffering, and she is forgiven by the narrative without any meaningful reflecting?
Her great moment getting together with Vi is right after she JUST had a conversation with Jinx where we see she STILL doesn't recognize any class bias she clearly has, insted making it about HER.
Her and the other enforcers are treated like noble heroes in the final battle, all the blame put on Ambesa. Vi's happy ending is getting into a relationship with the exact type of person who perpetuated all the suffering she endured as a child.
Are we gonna talk about how Jayce never leaves his privilege pedestal, never actually reflects on how he was also enforcing violence to the people of the undercity and living on his bliss of progress at THEIR expense?
Jayce, who got help on every step of the way to get to where he is, who wasn't disabled, who never lived the kind of poverty or class obstacles Viktor did, who never recognized the harm he enabled and was complicit to, HE was the one to tell Viktor "People build their own destiny." and "There is beauty in imperfection" ?????
Not to mention the whole bit where he implies Viktor did all that because he wanted to "eradicate what he thought was weakness"??? Didn't we stablished Viktor wanted to HELP THE PEOPLE FROM THE UNDERCITY TO HAVE BETTER LIFE CONDITIONS?? don't try to gaslight me.
I know this is just a TV show, but I need to remind everyone that what perpetuates opressive, discriminatory and violent systems as long and as deeply as they do is indiference. Is turning your head and enabling others to stay ignorant.
Edit: You guys are misunderstanding me. And I admit it is probably my fault, I wrote this high with emotion I wasn't as eloquent.
Jayce's exact choice of words or his time living in the alternate world is nowhere near my point.
My point is, that the narrative is establishing that the privileged character, is the one that has to show (and is quite literally, textually, always the one to show) the underprivileged character that "he was looking at life the wrong way." Forgetting that Viktor's journey of feeling powerless was greatly influenced by the fact he was poor and from the undercity.
That's what I meant by it erasing the part of the plot about class systems. In the end, the story only requires Jayce to understand Viktor's struggle on a superficial level, but the text never recognizes that it as the product of a deeply rooted SYSTEMIC ISSUE. One Jayce and even Viktor on some level, benefited from and perpetuated.
Understanding Viktor still doesn't give him any moral ground, and nobody ever challenges him on that because the story isn't interested in that anymore.
And the same with Caitlyn. She knows what she did what's wrong, fine, she feels bad. Like I said, she still has a class bias, and no character challenges her on it again because the story derails to magic and fighting and whatnot.
The plot just forgets (or ignores) that layer of the story despite it being so prominent up until now.
And ignoring the class discussion does a disservice to every single character because they were initially built on it. You can see it in how they lose the essence they had on s1.
I know y'all love the characters and want to empathize with all their motivations, okay? But the fundamental issue is that characters also represent things, and more so in a story as political as this one. We also have the right to point out that the show told us they represented something and then abandoned that narrative.
What do I think they could have done differently? If I tell you scene by scene we could be here for an entire year. The gist of it is: I think they should have stuck to the character themes they already had established.
Vi as someone fiercely loyal to the undercity beyond her relationship with Powder/Jinx, and being "cursed" by the role of the older sister. Jayce as someone with good intentions but who is ultimately limited by his blind idealism. Mel as a cunning politician who thinks she is on the right path because she isn't violent like her mother, not realizing she is still perpetuating it. Caitlyn as someone kind and compassionate who realizes the institutions she believed in are fundamentally flawed, and because of the way they are built will never be on the side of kindness. Etc, etc.
None of that gets any meaningful resolution.
I am glad if you liked it, or got something from it, you are entitled to your opinion.
I wanted to say this because I was angry, and still am. Because there was so much incredible potential, and honestly, to me, it feels like the writers chickened out on actually saying something in the end.
That's all I have to say about that.
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catis15 · 3 days ago
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I'm in gen Z and I've got friends who think like this
I wasn't too sheltered as a kid or a teen so like I don't agree with some but I can see the reasoning. Though the asking to masturbate one is wild, like wtf dude that's just like... A weird thing to ask. Also thought it was like a canon event for some ppl to masturbate to like the idea of ppl they found attractive. I've never done that cuz yeah it feels really fucking weird like dawg I know that person, but ASKING is so fucking wild man 😭
And actors younger than 18 what's that about? If it ain't got sexual content I don't see the problem as long as like workplace abuse isn't happening because it's pretty common to my knowledge in the industry.
Like how am I on the other side of my own generations BS 😂😭 I think I should be grateful??
Don't think not smoking and drinking is a bad thing though lmao. But I know a lot of my friends and I were shamed for sex related stuff by our parents. I mean when I was i think 16 or 17 my mother went through *private* ifykyk messages and continued to shame me for things that were said for a month or so after, even getting my MUCH younger sisters involved by telling them "Leaf is doing nasty things' or "Leaf is doing things she knows she shouldn't" and then she'd directly quote things I said to my partner as a way to embarrass me. Kinda weird looking back on it but my mom's kinda fucked up lol
But I had a lot of friends with similar experiences. It doesn't really create a safe place for what are pretty normal feelings :/
But then on the complete opposite side we have shows like Big Mouth and sites like AO3 where it's a very normal thing to be horny and have kinks and it's not shamed, sometimes even encouraged. We grew up wack y'all lol
So lines had to be drawn SOMEWHERE and for a lot of ppl my age it gets to be a little much
Like I have a friend who hates like any sort of sexual reference to underage characters. Which is totally fair they're underage it's whatever. But it's to the point he gets like defensive about it. And he's the dude who's pretty steadfast in his beliefs, but it got to the point even i thought it was a little weird. Like sometimes he'd get mad about making out or slightly heavier relationships between minors, eich again I can see the thought process, but also ppl are having sex by 16 or 17, and it makes sense that characters those ages would be doing similar things. I grew up reading books where teenagers did teenager things, and I feel like there is a level of age appropriate stuff? Like no dawg don't make full ass bdsm shit for teens but I feel like referenced or even vanilla type shit is fine????
I don't have a license so I can't talk-
Working on it though ;v;
And yeah lmao masturbate it's good for you (no literally there are studies saying it's good to do lmfao, like drinking a single glass of red wine before bed once a night is good for you... Unless your a recovering alcoholic then maybe not)
Sorry went on like a whole tangent lol but I'm bored and wanted to throw my two cents as someone who's got friends who think like op mentioned but I... Don't lol.
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weird anti ideology finally leaking out into the mainstream
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fillinforlater · 2 days ago
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The Archive of Smite
This page belongs to the writer named Smite. He wrote fics starting in September of 2021 up until April 2024. In these 2,5 years, over 8.000 people followed him to read some of the craziest k-pop girl group smut out there. Almost 150 stories of sex in all kinds of positions, for many reasons, all over the world (and in outerspace), with too many kinks to count.
"When I started, I kinda wanted to become the best. I wanted my favorite writers at the time - Levi, Peach, Sins, and many more - to know that I could write as good as they can. I wanted to go wilder and crazier."
Smite, though ambitious, was also stupid and naive. At roughly the same time he started writing, two other community legends began their careers. IZ and Kaede crushed everything in their sight, especially the former becoming an absolute legend.
"Writing was fun. At times, it was escapism from everyday worries. At other times, it was fulfillment of fantasies I could never reach. Mostly though, it was just horny. BFH that just became words. If you go through my Masterlist, you might see which idols had some random heights or were just... Always on my hot list."
Smite never really stopped writing, not for long stretches that is. It didn't really occur to him that there might be a sudden, drastic reason to stop. He considered doing so anyways. Something about writing porn about irl people without them knowing or wanting - needless to say, it is an odd hobby. Nevertheless, he enjoyed it amd the community it brought with it.
"I fucking love these guys. So many hilarious peoplefrom all over the world. One became like my best friend, a rock during my emotional struggles. Another was my boyfriend for a short time. Man, I screwed up with him kekw. There are too many to mention. I've had long talks with some, others just came by and listened to me mald or something. I love you all, some of you I consider true friends - part of my soul - and I feel connected, even if you are thousands of miles away."
2024 started stressful for Smite. The pressure of Uni started to collapse on him. Even the thought of big kpop concerts wasn't enough to cheer him up. Luckily though, there was this girl. Sweet, kind, caring and in the same position. Soon, he had found something that seemed impossible. She was in love with him and he in love with her. And when everything unraveled.
"I stopped writing. I burried my drafts. I finished only one story and released it way later. I'm sorry I didn't announce it properly, but I just felt that this smut writing career was over. I don't regret it - I gained something beautiful I want to keep for the rest of my life. She is at least as pretty as Minju, so I call that the biggest win imaginable lol."
So no more smuts from Smite?
"99% no"
No more fanfictions/girl group stories in general?
"Eh, 80% no. Still some unfinished angst that I would love y'all to read tho"
Will you ever reach those 150 fics?
"We will see. In this count there are fics with less than 1000 words. I might just sneeze and finish it kekw"
Any fic you regret not writing?
"Not really? Maybe a proper ending for Starship: Horizon? Or yet another Minju fic? Futa stuff? Gaeul angst x female reader? Or how about a fic with 69 different idols at once? Who but me would dare to write something so stupid?"
Do you think you reached your initial goal?
"Do I consider myself the GOAT? No. That title belongs to either Peach, Levi or IZ. But I know that of my now 8.700 followers some consider me their favorite writer. I'm flattered and thank you very much for reading amd enjoying my work."
Now for the most important question: does this post mean you are finally leaving the community behind for good? Is this your last hoorah?
"..."
"Never."
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strawbqq · 2 days ago
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𝔹𝕊𝔻 𝕞𝕖𝕟 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝕒 𝕠𝕧𝕖𝕣𝕝𝕪 𝕔𝕝𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕪 𝕤/𝕠
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[Warnings: nothing.ᐟ✰] [Word count: 435 || 𝓮𝓷𝓳𝓸𝔂.ᐟ]🍓
°ᡣ𐭩ft. chuuya, jouno, akutagawa
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sfw. hcs
ℂ𝕙𝕦𝕦𝕪𝕒
lowkey loves this shit
lets you cling to him for however long you want
grumbles the whole time but only pretends to hate it
isn't a huge fan of pda tho
this is a port mafia executive we're talking about, he has his social image he needs to reinforce
in private, tho? cuddles u riiiiight back
yes please use him as your portable heater
y'all just waste the whole morning cuddling in bed (=⩊=)
loves how he doesn't have to ask for physical affection, u just jump him at the most random times
you two balance each other perfectly, he needs the reassurance that you're not gonna leave, you get your recharge
9/10, he doesn't mind a clingy s/o one bit 🥺
𝕁𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕠
mildly uncomfortable at first???
like his super heightened senses isn't a big fan of it
(if he's feeling especially mean he would use his ability to escape u, wow rude)
def. protective if u cling to him because of insecurity reasons tho
NOT a fan of pda
he is a hunting dog after all
absolutely isn't used to being touched at all :,)
appears unaffected but secretly appreciates how u don't hide ur affections
probably gets used to you after a while
will return your hugs in private + eventually learn to love your physical display of affections omg
and when he does?? he's EXCELLENT at cuddling☝
7/10.ᐟ.ᐟ loves u too much to hate it
𝔸𝕜𝕦𝕥𝕒𝕘𝕒𝕨𝕒
my touch-deprived baby omg
will accidentally smack u with rashoumon the first time u try to hug him, pls be ready to dodge
bro be standing there stiffly with his hands at his sides the whole time 😭
has 0 idea what to do
unsure whether he likes it or not
please be gentle when touching him in any way 🙏 we all know this boy's got some serious trauma
if he says some harsh stuff don't take it seriously, bro just really doesn't know how to act
probably likes to hold hands with u tho.ᐟ.ᐟ
yall dont smack me for this but it's probably going to take months for him to even hug u back willingly
5/10...*might learn how to one day..maybe
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a/n: i had way too much fun writing this lmao ,, but y'all the brainrot's seriously getting me...anyways requests are always open!! its been like a week and im already out of good ideas 😭
𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓷𝓴 𝔂𝓸𝓾.ᐟ ʚ🍓ɞ ʀᴇʙʟᴏɢs + ʟɪᴋᴇs ʜɪɢʜʟʏ ᴀᴘᴘʀᴇᴄɪᴀᴛᴇᴅ
o(≧▽≦)o
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stellarbit · 3 days ago
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1000 Follower Celebration
I never thought much of my work so I've waited to do celebrate until 1000. For those who've followed and anyone who liked, commented, or reblogged anything, here is an event as thanks. Please know that this blog and those in this fandom mean so much to me. I read every tag, comment, and reblog and they make my day every time.
If you've followed me for awhile you'll know my writing can be slow and fickle. As a thank you I am committing to fulfilling the requests I receive between November 23rd - November 30th. After that I'll be closing my requests until I work through them.
Now let's get to it!!
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Some quick rules
Pick up to 3 prompts.
I'll take individual character requests or something like "members of the 501st/Bad Batch reacting to" requests as well.
I will be doing requests for Clones/Star Wars first and then any previous fandoms I've written for.
I will not be taking anon requests for this event
Let me know what character(s) you want.
If you have them, please state SFW/NSFW preferences
If you have them, please state what gender preference you have.
I retain the right to not write prompts that are uncomfortable/extreme for me.
Tell me as many details as you want, it really helps! You can DM me too if you'd like to discuss.
If you've submitted previous request you'd still like done, feel free to send it again. Tumblr has vanished some requests and I've never seen them again
Please be patient, I waited until life calmed down to focus on this event but writing takes time.
Prompt List
My favorite prompts are the personal ones. If you've been going through anything and you'd like comfort, distraction, or in character advice from your favs, I'm here for you. It's been helpful for me and I'd love to do that for you. Be as specific as you want <3
I'll take continuation requests for previous fics. (I am working on Two Faces pt 3 and aim to finish the Hound drabbles from the past, so if its for them don't you worry, just be patient please.)
Tropes
And there was one bed~
Love at first sight
Hate at first sight
Fake dating
Locked in together
Aphrodisiac
Amnesia
Sharing body heat
Kissing as a distaction
Dying confession
X denying their feelings for Y until Y shows interest in someone else.
X teaching Y something
Carrying bridal style
Confessing during fight
Romance/Fluff
“I think I’m in love with you.”
“I didn’t know love until you.”
“You’d be easy to love.”
“You are my equal in every way.”
“I will never stop fighting for you.”
“If there was anyone meant for me, it was you.”
“You say you love me, but you don’t know me.” “Then let me.”
“They don’t compare to you. No one does/ever has.”
“Don’t look at me like that.” “Like what?” “Like you love me.”
“I could make you feel better.”
“Beautiful.”
Angst:
“We could’ve been us.”
“I don’t want your apology.”
“It would be easier if I didn’t know you.”
“You said you wouldn’t leave and then you did.”
“I feel like I’m falling apart.”
“All I’ve ever wanted is for you to see me.”
“What is it about me that isn’t good enough?”
“At least I kept my promise.”
“Does he/she/they not know about me?”
“You look exactly the same.”
Funny&Misc
“You’re family.”
“Bite me.”
“What a pretty sight.”
“Get over it.”
“I thought you couldn’t stand me.” “I lied.”
“You’re bleeding.” “No shit.”
“Do you believe in soulmates?” “No.”
“I thought I was alone.”
“Stop staring at me to distract me.” “Oh, I’m not trying to distract you.”
“I can’t remember the last time I laughed like this.”
“Are my eyes deceiving me or is that a smile, my love?” “Oh, shut up.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen something go so wrong so fast.”
“Do you believe in soulmates?” “No.”
“What kind of dumb question is that?”
“Don’t even think about it.”
"it wouldn’t hurt you to smile you know." “it will.”
“I can do it myself.”
“What a tease.”
“I’m hilarious.” “You’re traumatized.” “Is there a difference?”
“All this sneaking around is going to get us into trouble.”
LETS DOOO IT THANK Y'ALL
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senditcolton · 18 hours ago
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A DAY LATE BUT OH MY GOD!! WHY ARE Y'ALL NOT REBLOGGING THIS MASTERPIECE?? (that's on me as well) DON'T TELL ME Y'ALL FORGOT ABOUT THE JOY THAT IS TYSON JOST!! I WILL BE SCREAMING ABOUT IT FOR THE NEXT YEAR PROBABLY!!
(speaking of screaming here it is, in-depth)
Let’s goooooo!!! I was excited when I heard Little Women inspired and now that it’s from YOU C!!! AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!
(also love the name Delaney – just one of my favorites)
Of course Tyson is the only person to think her ex is a douche
“the swell in her heart at the image of Tyson Jost holding her hand” *John Mulaney voice* NOW WE DON’T HAVE TIME TO UNPACK ALL OF THAT.
“such a kind gesture of friendship” this was the first of many times I was banging my head against my pillows. DELANY PLS
Yes you will have to kiss each other and it will be MAGICAL
The fact that they’ve both equated their feelings to being kids with crushes is so sweet
Tyson being soooo nervous to meet her dad!
“he found himself hoping that he was at the top of the list” I HOPE SO TOO TYSON
Tyson and Delaney are so cute already and their not even ~really~ together yet!
The way Delany’s family remind Tyson of his and how seamlessly they fit together 🩵🤍🩵🤍🩵🤍
“Though Delaney was sure he was referring to the glowing horizon in front of them, she found herself wishing that wasn’t all that he meant” IT’S NOT! (head in pillows x2)
Babe, you’re comparing him to your sisters significant others. That should be a siiiiigggggnnnn
“She was impressed at how well he was selling their fake relationship” (head in pillows x3)
“he didn’t fancy an awkward conversation over coffee” uh-huh sure Tyson, that’s definitely the only reason you’re staying in bed. Has nothing to do with your dream girl nestled against you.
Tyson being so good with all the kids is peak Josty in my mind
The way he is so happy at seeing her so relaxed MY HEART!
THIS EXCHANGE WITH OLIVIA HAD ME MELTING!!! The way she can see right through both Tyson and Delaney?? One of the first to be like ‘you two love each other, duh’. MY HEART!!!
“he was only there out of pity, not out of any sort of inkling of real feelings for her” (head in pillows x4)
TYSON’S DUMB LITTLE SMILE WHEN HE LOOKS AT HER!
Well, of course you’ve never noticed Delaney, that’s like rom-com 101
“she made a mental note to compliment Tyson on his acting abilities” (head in pillows x5)
“Tyson saw her in a way that Mark never had – maybe in a way that even her family never had” THAT MEANS SOMETHING!!!
THIS ENTIRE DATE!! OH MY GOD THEY ARE SO IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER IT IS SO PERFECT!
AND THEN TYSON HAD TO OPEN HIS MOUTH AND (accidentally) RUIN IT
“she really needed to ask him where he’d learn to be such a good actor” (head in pillows x6)
NOOO HE LOVES YOU!!! IT IS REAL!! GOD DAMMIT!!!
“Which is all I’ve wanted since we met”!?!??!?!?!
GOD SHE IS SUCH AN IDIOT! (AFFECTIONATE)
“You know, your mother and I looked at each other like that… like there was no one else around” DEAN I COULD KISS YOU ON THE MOUTH FOR THIS COMMENT THANK YOU
She was his Cape Cod!?!?!?!??!
“You said not to say it unless I meant it. I mean it” MELTED. PUDDLE. RIGHT NOW.
“I really, really would like to kiss you first” WHO WOULD SAY NO TO THAT?!
THIS FIC WAS MAGICAL!! I could so clearly feel the Little Women energy in every sentence. Delaney and her family, how close they all were, like AH MY HEART!! You nailed every single trope you chose i am over the moon so yeah overall =
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Playing Pretend - Tyson Jost
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Pairing: Tyson Jost x OC (f)
Summary: When Delaney Taylor needs a date to her family reunion, Tyson Jost volunteers his services. As they navigate their fake relationship, the line between what’s real and what isn’t begins to blur.
Word Count: 9.8k
Author's Note: Happy birthday, @senditcolton! Surprise, I was your Little Women anon 🤓🥳 I had a blast creating this and infusing the March family into the characters - I hope you enjoy! S/O to @wyattjohnston for helping to beta and to @smileysvech & @jostystyles for the extra details because I'm insane. 🖤 The birthday bingo prompts I selected were: Fake dating / Drunk confession / Argument Scene / She's oblivious / Free Space (Inspired by... Little Women)
Warnings: Angst, language, alcohol use. NHL Masterlist
A buzz on the coffee table alerted Delaney Taylor’s attention away from the television. Beside her, the gentle hum of a Theragun sounded over the low volume of an Avalanche game. She was at Tyson’s house, having accepted his invite to hang out and get takeout on his night off. They’d met through friends, and after finding a mutual interest in The Lagoons and bad reality TV, their friendship naturally veered off to form a branch and blossom on its own.
The phone buzzed again, prompting Delaney to lean forward and grab it upon seeing a text from her sister. 
“Fuck,” she said, “Alyssa just texted asking for a final count for my family get together in July.”
“And that’s a bad thing… why? You love your family,” Tyson said, confused. He set down his Theragun on the ottoman, reaching for his water bottle. A car dealership commercial flashed on the screen.
Across from him on the couch, Delaney sighed. “I know. It’s just… I’m kind of the disappointment of the family.”
“Why do you think that?”
“I’m poor, in a mass amount of debt, and working at a Kohl’s instead of at the Met like I was supposed to by this time,” she said, counting each sin on her fingers. Lifting a fourth, she added, “Oh yeah, and I’m single.”
Tyson rolled his eyes. “Oh, come on. They don’t care about that.”
“Maybe not, but I’m only 26 and they make me feel so pressured to get married, start having babies,” she sighed. “My older sister, Alyssa? Happily married with three kids. Violet? In a long-term, happy relationship. And Rachel—she’s not even married but she still has a baby who is basically the light of everyone’s life. Even both of my little sisters have ‘made it’ more than me. I’m just a grad school dropout who broke up with the boyfriend that everyone loved. They spent all of Christmas asking me if we were going to get back together.”
“Yeah, well, did you tell them that Mark was a fucking douche?” Tyson asked, to which Delaney snorted in amusement. You’re the only other person who seems to think so. He let the moment settle before adding, “Delaney, you don’t have to check all of the same boxes as your sisters. You’re literally the smartest person I know.”
“Dropping out of grad school does crazy things for your self confidence,” she said, heart heavy with defeat. It was over halfway through the semester, but saying it out loud never got easier. Delaney wondered what her former classmates were studying, if they missed her absence. 
At the end of the fall semester, she’d been crushed to make the decision to pull out of her classes for the spring. Between work, schoolwork, and trying to balance the rest of her little free time between having a social life and having a healthy sleep schedule. her stress levels skyrocketed at the same rate as her student loan payment. It was a painful, but necessary, goodbye. Though she knew she made the right decision, she still felt sad and disappointed when her mind drifted, doing her best to quiet the what ifs that ran through her mind.
Delaney forced herself to focus her thoughts back to the present. “I just… I can’t stand to be a disappointment anymore. I already failed at being a grad student. I don’t want to have to fail at finding a boyfriend, too.”
“I’ll be your boyfriend.”
He blurted it out so quickly that Delaney stared at him for a moment before the confusion seeped in. “What?” 
“I mean,” he said after a gulp of water, a slight tinge coating his cheeks, “I’ll come with you. Pretend to be your boyfriend. That way at least there’s one area they can’t rip on you for.”
“Tyson, I can’t ask you to do that,” she said, ignoring the swell in her heart at the image of Tyson Jost holding her hand. She didn’t have time to unpack that yet. 
“You’re not asking. I’m offering.” His voice was confident, like he wasn’t going to take ‘no’ for an answer, but gentle, like he’d back down if she really vetoed the offer a second time.
Delaney considered. She felt guilty at the thought of subjecting him to her entire family, making him put on the doting boyfriend act without anything in it for him. That was just how he was, though; generous, giving, willing to do anything for his friends. It really was such a kind gesture of friendship, it almost made her heart ache.
On the other hand, it would save her a headache—she couldn’t deny how much she dreaded the hopeful look in her dad’s eyes when he asked if she was seeing someone—and she did think Tyson would get along with her family. And who wouldn’t want Buffalo’s cutest resident to be her arm candy?
“Okay,” she agreed. “But you need to promise to tell me if you change your mind.”
“Deal,” Tyson said with a grin, holding out his hand. Delaney accepted, shaking it; she ignored the warmth of his palm pressed against hers. “What’s our story, then, babe?”
Heat instantly rose in her cheeks at the pet name. “Okay, rule number one, don’t overdo it with the nicknames. It’ll be too obvious.”
“So no snookums? Honey pie? Sugar plum?”
“No, no, and double no.”
“Aww man,” he pouted. “I was even gonna let you call me ‘cupcake.’”
Delaney rolled her eyes before returning to his original question. “I think our story is the same, for consistency’s sake: We met through friends.”
“Our first date was putt putt and dinner,” he supplied, nodding along. “Kissed you outside your apartment after the second.”
Again, warmth melted over Delaney’s face at the mention of kissing; she felt like a teenager getting teased for having a crush on a boy in her class. And then she realized that she would, in fact, probably have to kiss him on the trip, if they were really hoping to make it believable.
Judging by the way Tyson’s face turned a shade of crimson, she assumed he’d come to the same realization she had.
Maybe they were in for more than they anticipated.
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Six weeks later, after creating an entire relationship backstory and studying Delaney’s family tree, Tyson was on a plane to Boston, Bose headphones snugly over his ears. How I Met Your Mother was playing on his iPhone, propped up on the tray table in front of him. Seated beside him was Delaney, lost in her Kindle. Her elbow rested against him on the armrest, her long braid tucked between their arms.
When they landed, Tyson knocked his knee against hers with a grin. A strange flare of nerves and excitement radiated in his chest for a moment, then was gone again. 
“C’mon babe, I’ll get your bag for you,” he said. Delaney chuckled, shaking her head with a teasing roll of her eye.
He followed her to the rental car booth, waiting patiently while she sorted out the paperwork for a red Toyota Camry for the hour-long drive to Cape Cod. She nominated him road trip DJ, a title he wore with honor, and the two chatted comfortably as she made her way down the MA-3 South.
Nerves began to flutter again when the GPS had them exiting the highway and indicated he only had about eight more minutes to prepare for his new role as Delaney Taylor’s boyfriend. If she could tell, she didn’t say anything, and he did his best to hide it. He could handle being surrounded by reporters with cameras and phones shoved in his face, peppering him with the same questions about his career and his future; if he could handle that, he thought, he could handle meeting his pretend girlfriend’s family. 
Soon enough, they were pulling into the driveway of a large white house, and not thirty seconds after Delaney put the car in park, a small blonde head was running down the front porch steps to greet his new girlfriend. Tyson smiled as he watched Delaney throw the door open and scoop the little girl into her arms before spinning her around in a hug.
Olivia. Delaney’s seven-year-old niece—and favorite one.
“I mean, of course I love all of my nieces and nephews,” she’d explained, “but Olivia and I are soul bonded.” “Liv,” she said gently after setting her down, “there’s someone I want you to meet.” When two wide, inquisitive eyes peered up at him, Tyson instantly understood why she was Delaney’s favorite. He crouched down to meet her gaze as Delaney introduced him. “Olivia, this is Tyson.”
Olivia eyed him and he smiled, waving. She studied him thoughtfully, then said, “Hi. Are you Aunt Delaney’s boyfriend?”
“Yeah,” he nodded. “Is that okay?”
The little girl looked over to her aunt. “Do you like him?”
Delaney’s eyes flicked over to Tyson’s, an amused smile on her face. Heat lingered in his cheeks after her gaze returned to meet Olivia’s. “Yes, I like him.”
“Like-like him?”
“Yep.” Tyson felt a flutter in his chest, like he was a kid on a playground finding out his crush like-liked him too. He hoped it didn’t show on his face.
Olivia turned back to Tyson, observing him keenly for a moment before sticking out her hand. “Okay. It’s okay.”
Tyson laughed again, relief unexpectedly washing through him at her instant approval. “Thank you. I’m really so honored to get Princess Olivia’s blessing.”
The other introductions were easier—Alyssa and Ben (Olivia’s parents), Rachel (Delaney’s sister) and her eight month old daughter, Isla. Tyson smiled warmly at everyone, feeling almost instantly at home amongst the easy way they welcomed him in. Inside the house was the rest of the family: Delaney’s sister Violet, her girlfriend Preethi, Hailey and Noah (Olivia’s older siblings), and Delaney’s dad.
Though he knew it didn’t matter much if he actually made a good impression, as he’d likely never see her family again, Delaney’s father was the person Tyson was most nervous to meet; he knew firsthand what growing up in a single-parent home was like and how close the bond can become with the remaining parent. Based on everything he’d heard about Delaney’s relationship with her father, he knew it was an important impression to nail.
“Mr. Taylor,” he said, extending his hand for a firm handshake. He was surprised at the way his voice trembled slightly, though he did his best to hide his nerves with a smile. “Really great to meet you.”
“Call me Dean,” he said with a wide, genuine smile. It put Tyson at ease, even as he registered how much larger Dean’s hands were than his own.
They exchanged pleasantries, and Tyson was happy with how the first meeting was going. He was impressed with himself, though he couldn’t deny that it was Dean’s easygoing, warm nature that really made it seamless. As a single father of four girls, Tyson wondered how many people had come through the door with the intention of dating one of his daughters—how many people had Dean had this exact interaction with? He wondered what Mark’s was like. He wondered how he measured up.
Tyson told himself it was just his competitive nature, but he found himself hoping that he was at the top of the list. 
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After introductions, Tyson and Delaney brought their bags in and settled into the third bedroom on the left, their home for the week. Once the door closed, Delaney turned and asked, “How’re you doing out there?”
Tyson laughed, unzipping his bag to hang up a few of his shirts in the wardrobe. “Are you kidding? Your family is great, Delaney. I think we might have to get married. I want to come here every summer.”
“Relax, cowboy. You haven’t even had a single meal with them yet,” laughed Delaney. She was grateful her face was hidden as she knelt to pull her toiletry bag out of her suitcase. Heat burned in her cheeks even as a grin spread across her face. Then, eager to change the subject, she added, “You passed Olivia’s inspection.”
“Dude, I think I fell in love with her. Those eyes!?”
Snorting, Delaney nodded as she walked toward the bathroom to set her bag on the counter. “She does have beautiful eyes.”
She thought she heard him say something like, “Must run in the family,” and she opted to wash her hands in the sink in order to will away the burn on her cheeks before returning to the bedroom to finish unpacking.
They returned downstairs a little while later, having unpacked and changed out of travel clothes to something more beach-friendly. Though it was nearing the end of the day and the sun was beginning to go down, the kids were not ready to give up swimming and making sandcastles for the day. Delaney gestured for Tyson to make himself comfortable when they sat down in the chairs on the deck. A few others trickled out, giving Delaney the opportunity to sit and catch up with a smaller group at a time; she spoke with Rachel about Isla’s new daycare, asked Violet about her anatomy final, and told Preethi about the latest book she read. She was grateful that no one seemed to be interested in asking about her future career plans; for now, it seemed, everyone was content with her handsome, charming boyfriend.
Rachel’s eyes flicked over to Tyson, who was smiling as he took in the conversation. He didn’t have much to say or contribute, but he seemed perfectly happy just listening. It made Delaney’s heart twist a little bit at the thought.
“How you doing over there, buddy?” asked Rachel. Delaney cast an appreciative glance over at her sister, grateful that she was making an effort to include him.
“Me? Oh, I’m doing great,” he said with a grin after a sip of his Labatt. “You guys kind of remind me of my mom, sister, and cousins when they’re all together.”
“Wait, that’s really sweet,” Preethi cooed. 
“Okay, you’ve heard us yapping,” Violet said after agreeing with a nod. “Tell us about this infamous Tyson—who I’m still pretty pissed that I only just learned about your existence.” 
Delaney offered her sister a sheepish grin and a shrug as Tyson recited the story they’d concocted about their relationship, peppering in details about their first date and their transition from friends to more. Violet seemed skeptical at first, but she seemed to warm up when he shared that he’d harbored a crush on Delaney for months before he asked her out—somehow, that was enough to explain the lack of talk about him.
“We wanted to keep things light in the beginning,” she peppered in. “Just in case things didn’t work out. Didn’t want to make things weird with the rest of our friends.”
Tyson nodded, going along with her ad-libbing and taking it a step further by reaching his hand over to hold hers on the armrest of her Adirondack. His thumb stroked her knuckles, a quiet and subtle gesture of affection that sent warmth flooding to Delaney’s heart. “Fortunately, it worked out and we still have friends.”
It wasn’t long after that Rachel went inside to put Isla to sleep and Violet and Preethi left to pick up Chinese takeout for dinner, leaving Tyson and Delaney alone. The other kids had gone inside to shower, which left their view of the beach unmarred as the sun went down, oranges and purples dancing across the surface of the water. Warmth splayed over her legs, the cool breeze making an otherwise warm evening quite pleasant.
This, she thought, is pure happiness.
“Wow,” Tyson awed, “I mean, I believed you when you said it was beautiful, but this is… it’s insane.”
Delaney laughed, nudging his foot with hers.
“Thank you for coming,” she said softly after a pause. “It really—I can’t say how much it means to me that you really came and did… all this. For me.”
Tyson smiled, the chocolate of his eyes warm as his hand reached over to give hers another squeeze. “For this view? I should be thanking you.”
Though Delaney was sure he was referring to the glowing horizon in front of them, she found herself wishing that wasn’t all that he meant.
Dinner was simple, casual, and perfect, with everyone scattered around amongst the dining room table, kitchen bar, and coffee table in the living room. Delaney could feel her heart contract at the sight of it, her family, the sound of their voices and their laughter filling the room of her most favorite place on planet Earth. Every time she looked over at Tyson, he seemed to be laughing, that contagious, bright smile etched across his face. He flitted around, too; one moment, she’d see him at the table with Olivia, Noah, and Dean, the next, at the bar with Rachel, Alyssa, and Hailey.
She was surprised at the way in which he fit in with her family as if he’d been around for years, the way Ben and Preethi had. It was so natural; she was impressed at how well he was selling their fake relationship without missing a single beat. Not a single person, she mused, had any suspicion that it was all a sham.
It sure didn’t feel like a sham to her when he tugged his white t-shirt over his head, tossed it in his bag, and crawled into bed beside her later that night. Delaney did her best to keep from gaping, but she’d never even seen that many abs on a person, let alone the shape of his bicep and the tempting dip of muscles that disappeared into the waistband of his plaid pajama bottoms.
“So how’d I do?” he asked, pulling her out of her head—the one that was imagining exactly where those lines ended beneath the cotton material. Heat flushed to her cheeks, realizing how blatantly she’d been staring, darting her eyes away.
Delaney plugged her phone in on the nightstand and regained her composure before turning to face him. “You’re doing amazing, sweetie.”
“Aw, thanks, buttercup,” he said, tapping her on the nose with a fingertip. “I’m ready to play so much Marco Polo with Olivia tomorrow.”
“You better get some beauty sleep if you’re planning to be the entertainment for the day. The girl’s got stamina.”
“Baby, I was born ready.”
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When Tyson woke, it took him a moment to register where he was. The blue paint on the walls, the wooden beams, the spinning fan overhead was all unfamiliar, but there was something sweetly scented that he recognized.
Delaney.
She was sleeping beside him, hair disheveled and falling out of her loose braid. Her breathing was steady, soft, so quiet Tyson could barely hear it. He smiled, watching her for a few moments, appreciating the quiet simplicity of the house’s aura and the effect it had on Delaney; she seemed so at home, so comfortable, like she could take off the armor and be unapologetically herself. He liked seeing that side of her, like it was a privilege to be able to witness her at her most authentic self. He couldn’t wait to see more.
Delaney shifted, causing a strand of hair to fall into her face. Tyson felt a tug in his heart when she nuzzled into his warmth, exhaling softly. 
He was her boyfriend now, and as much as he’d bonded with her family the night before, it was still early and he didn’t fancy an awkward conversation over coffee with the few people who had awoken. So, he gave himself a mental shrug and let her sink into the crook of his arm, savoring her warmth.
The subtle floral scent of her shampoo made its way into his nose, and the steady rise and fall of her chest lulled him back into a cat nap, morning sun warming the ocean-cool air. It was her stirring in his arms later, after the sun had risen higher in the sky, streaming light and buttery warmth through the window, that woke him again.
“You were snoring,” she said. Her freshly-awake voice was sleepy, softer than usual. “It was so cute.”
Tyson hummed a soft apology and his cheeks warmed, heat weaving its way through his body when he realized how much of her was pressed against him. He found himself both disappointed and grateful when she stretched and rose first, padding quietly into the bathroom. The bed beside him felt cold, empty, and it was only then that he realized how much he’d been relying on her body heat for warmth.
Breakfast was casual, everyone helping themselves to the assorted bagels, fruit, and yogurt in the fridge. Delaney’s leg brushed against his when he sat back down after a coffee refill, answering Noah’s earnest questions about how to become a professional athlete. He wasn’t sure how he did until he received a grateful look from Alyssa after he told Noah that he always made sure to eat all of his vegetables at dinner.
Since he didn’t need much time to prepare for a beach day, he offered to help Dean clean up the kitchen and load the dishwasher—he was confident he’d made a good first impression, but wanted to solidify a spot on the Good List. By the time he’d started the cycle, Delaney had returned from their shared room and Tyson nearly choked on his coffee when his eyes landed on her. He’d never seen her in anything less than a t-shirt and jeans, and the expanse of her golden skin wasn’t something he had prepared himself for. 
Of course he’d noticed the way her eyes bulged when he took his shirt off before bed; he’d bitten his lip to keep from smiling. She had told him to act normal and be himself—it wasn’t his fault he preferred to sleep sans shirt. But after seeing her in beachwear, Tyson’s confidence in his ability to manage his emotions as Delaney’s fake boyfriend was starting to waver. The black linen pants she sported were enough to have him sweating for a moment before he collected himself, tearing his eyes away from the curve of her ass.
Fortunately—and unfortunately—for him, he didn’t have much time to dwell on how well her pants fit her hips and her ass, for Olivia was barreling down the dock, followed closely by Noah, both of whom were calling to Tyson to help them build the world’s largest sand kingdom. Delaney grinned at him, offering a sympathetic shrug before he was being tugged to a spot on the beach by Olivia.
Right away, she directed him to dig the moat, while she and Noah worked on starting the base. Tyson kept the conversation going, asking them both about school and letting them ask him questions about life as a hockey player. Every so often, he’d glance over at Delaney, sitting on the deck with Rachel, Isla, Violet, and Preethi. He smiled at the light in her eyes as she sat, chatting and laughing with her family that he knew she missed dearly. For the first time in a few weeks, she was smiling, the weight on her shoulders temporarily lifted.
This was why he came. Why he traveled 500 miles from home, voluntarily staying in a house full of strangers and was now elbow-deep in wet sand: To take away a pressure point so that she could enjoy her weekend with her family without the unspoken still-single? narratives. She thanked him more times than he could count, but it honestly hadn’t even occurred to him as something that was worth thanking him for.
She was a friend, and she needed something from him. Simple. There was no decision to make. If she needed him, he was there. When a friend asks for help, you help ‘em.
Even if it meant he had to spend an entire weekend with her loud, large family and pretend to be her boyfriend.
Something about playing that role, envisioning himself as the man beside her in her life, made him feel… warm? And kind of fuzzy? Prior to arriving, he’d been a bit anxious at the immense pressure of being able to act the part and pull it all off, but being Delaney’s boyfriend was easy. Her warmth attracted everyone; it was only natural to be drawn to her. 
“Tyson?” Olivia’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts.
“Hmm?”
“Are you gonna marry Aunt Dee?”
Tyson felt his cheeks tinge with pink heat, stuttering for an answer; he got the strange sense that Olivia had been reading his thoughts. His gaze flicked over to the girl in question, gently rocking Isla in her arms. For a brief moment, his brain conjured the idea that she was holding their daughter, and he couldn’t keep up with the surge of emotions in his chest.
He cleared his throat, blinking away the thought. “Um, yeah. Maybe. Do you think I should?” 
“Yeah,” she said after a moment of introspection. “She smiles a lot with you.”
“She does?”
“Duh. You’re her boyfriend.”
Tyson hummed, letting Olivia drop a handful of sand into the bucket he was holding. He packed it in before helping Noah place the next section of the wall.
He’d be so lucky to marry someone half as wonderful as Delaney.
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The sun warmed Delaney’s skin, amplified by Isla’s body heat, sleeping soundly in her arms. She smiled down at her newest niece, drinking in her tiny features.
“You got yourself a good one, Del,” Rachel said, causing Delaney to glance up at the use of her name. “He’s wonderful.”
Delaney swallowed the urge to respond that Tyson wasn’t hers, that he could only ever be hers in her dreams—or, in this case, in an entirely fake scenario. Even in the first 24 hours, everything had come so naturally to them, she had to remind herself that he was only there out of pity, not out of any sort of inkling of real feelings for her. The thought stung, but she pushed it aside to unpack later.
“It’s actually so sweet how in love with you he is,” Violet agreed. “I love watching him look at you.”
“Oh my God, right?” Preethi gushed. “Every time I look over at him, he’s staring at you with that dumb little smile on his face. It’s so cute.”
The thump of her heart quickened at her family’s words. She’d never seen the looks they were talking about. In fact, she’d never even seen him looking in her direction when she’d sneak glances at him across the room, keeping tabs on his whereabouts and if he generally appeared to be enjoying himself.
“Do you loooove him?” Violet asked. Her sing-song voice made Delaney roll her eyes.
“No, of course not,” she said, far too quickly, before she realized that being in love with her boyfriend is kind of the end goal when in a relationship. “I mean, not yet. It’s not been that long.”
She ignored Rachel’s glance, allowing Violet to nudge her knee with her own. “Alright. Well, no time like the present.”
“Judging by the way he looks at you, I think your boy is already there,” Rachel said.
Heat surged to Delaney’s cheeks. She knew it wasn’t true, but they had every reason to believe it. It was strange to be at the center of a lie, watching as the strings began to weave an intricate pattern—all because she couldn’t bear to disappoint her family again.
And Tyson had been more than willing to jump in and help her; in fact, he wouldn’t take no for an answer. She was overwhelmed with his generosity, his kindness. The display of friendship made her heart ache. And now, here he was, convincing everyone in her life that he was her boyfriend—so well that her sisters were convinced that this wonderful man was in love with her.
She made a mental note to compliment Tyson on his acting abilities. “Stop. He’s not.”
“Girl,” Violet said disbelievingly. “You go off to la la land with that dopey-ass smile on your face when your sister says he’s in love with you, and you think you don’t love him?”
“Let her get there on her own, Vi,” Preethi said, resting a hand gently on her girlfriend’s arm. She winked at Delaney before saying, “You’re right, though.”
After another roll of her eyes, Delaney glanced to the sparkling water beyond the dock for a reprieve from her interrogation. The waves softly rolled toward the shore, whispering her name on their breath. She nudged Isla into her sister’s arms before rising from her seat, stretching. “It’s time.”
Rachel’s “Have fun!” followed Delaney as she headed down the dock, slipping her linen cover-up down her legs and tightening the straps on her bikini. At the end, she wasted no time diving in, letting the water surround her.
Delaney swam around, letting the coolness of the water soothe her warm skin. Ever since she was a little girl, she’d been coming to this place, and something about the feeling of the water on her skin was cleansing; purifying even. The weight of the world seemed to melt away in this place, pressures and stressors and everything else muted while she was there with her people. 
This time around was different. This time, her life back at home was in shambles, unable to catch a break. But this time, she also had Tyson by her side, there to alleviate the pressure so she could have an escape. His presence was different from how Mark’s had been, despite the fact that Mark was actually her boyfriend. Tyson seemed to understand her, listened without judgment, supported her without question.
Tyson saw her in a way that Mark never had—maybe in a way that even her family never had.
Tyson was helping Olivia put the final touches on the sandcastle, which included a garage for her Barbie Jeep, when movement on the porch steps caught his eye. His throat went dry when he saw what—or who—was making their way toward the water.
Delaney, stripping out of that linen outfit, excitedly speed-walking down the dock. He felt heat rush to his cheeks, his heart thudding in his chest. Unable to help the way his eyes traveled over her skin, he let his gaze drag up her legs, over her curves. Fuck. She looked good.
A shriek sounded beside him, and Tyson’s eyes went wide as his head whipped to Olivia. Only when he saw her smiling did he realize that she was shrieking with joy, presumably at the sight of Delaney jumping in the water, if the cheering was any indication.
“Aunt Dee! Aunt Dee!” she squealed, dropping her sand shovel and running back toward the shed. She handed him a Frozen floaty, indicating for him to help her blow it up. Once she was situated, the floaties wrapped securely around her upper arms, she was bounding down the dock toward her aunt. The sound of a splash, followed shortly by a squeal and laughter informed Tyson that she had successfully made it.
He smiled fondly, making his own way down to the end of the dock where Delaney was helping Olivia make a whirlpool.
“Incoming!” he shouted, tossing his t-shirt and sunglasses to the side before he cannonballed in amidst screams from both girls. Rising to the surface, he was met with splashes from Olivia’s tiny feet, which he quickly grabbed and tugged her toward him to lug her over his shoulders. Another squeal left her mouth as he launched her—safely—out of his arms, crashing into the water.
Delaney laughed beside him, watching Olivia’s triumphant smile as she rose to the surface. Moments too late, she realized that she was Tyson’s next target, her eyes going wide when his hands found her waist. He ignored the feeling of her skin beneath his fingertips and the way she fit in his arms as he lifted her, too—much to Olivia’s delight, who was chanting for him to toss Delaney. 
“One, two—”
“Tyson, put me down!” Delaney shrieked.
With a wink at Olivia, he shrugged and said, “You asked.” With that, he launched her and watched her land in the water with a satisfying splash. When she emerged, Olivia was laughing so hard that Tyson couldn’t help but join in. Delaney spluttered, sending a splash of ocean water toward him that he quickly dodged.
He turned to Olivia, still giggling, and ignored Delaney’s sharp protests beside him. His eyebrow raised and he leaned in to Olivia. “We playing mermaids next, or what?”
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Prior to arriving at the Taylor family cottage, Delaney had taught Tyson the family dynamics and the Annual Family vacation rules. First and foremost, to relax and spend time with family. If you weren’t having fun, you weren’t required to participate in anything—and there was usually so much going on that it wasn’t difficult to find something to do.
Another rule they’d developed early on was that each couple gets a guaranteed, guilt-free date night. Established after Hailey was born so that Alyssa and Ben could have a night to themselves, it had simply stuck as each sister added a significant other to the ever-growing Taylor family.
When Violet announced that Tyson and Delaney’s assigned night was Wednesday, his faux girlfriend was quick to assure him behind closed doors that they didn’t have to do anything crazy— “like a real date, or anything.” Tyson, though, brushed her off and was determined to commit fully to the bit.
It took a fair bit of wrangling and no shortage of dawdling to get himself alone with Alyssa to ask where he should take Delaney on a date. He couldn’t explain why his cheeks were so warm talking with her, taking note of her suggestions like he was in a Calculus class. While their relationship was a farce, he reasoned, that didn’t mean that he couldn’t take Delaney out for a memorable evening.
When the night arrived, Tyson fought a flutter of nerves in his chest. He had to actively fight the feeling of being a 16-year-old boy nervous for his first date, despite the fact that he was well into his twenties and had quite literally been sharing a bed with his date for three days. Waiting downstairs with Preethi, Violet, and Hailey, he did his best to act normal like it wasn’t his first-ever date with Delaney.
Like a scene from a movie, he felt his heart leap into his throat when she made her way down the stairs. She was stunning, despite having thrown on “just a sundress”; the body of the dress fit her torso like a glove, the skirt flowing at her waist. A milkmaid dress, he was told it was called—whatever it was, he liked it.
Dinner was simple, one of Alyssa’s top recommendations at which he somehow managed to snag the last remaining reservation. Once they arrived, he understood why: the wall facing the beach was made entirely of windows, leaving the entire restaurant a gorgeous view of the bay and the subsequent sunset. The room was already beginning to fill with the rich oranges and pinks as the sun slid closer and closer to the horizon.
“How romantic,” Delaney commented with a smirk, nudging him with her elbow. “Candlelit dinner at sunset? Should I be expecting a proposal later?”
Tyson’s face split into a grin, patting his pocket. He could’ve sworn his arm radiated warmth when she pulled away from him. “Shh. Don’t ruin the surprise!”
“Aww, you’re so sweet, honey bee.”
The meal itself was good—homemade pasta and some kind of whipped eggplant that had him contemplating ordering a second helping—but the highlight was sitting across the table from Delaney, talking freely and feeling on top of the world when she laughed at his stupid jokes. The flickering flame of the candle on her face, illuminating her skin, her smile, the glint of her necklace resting on her collarbones; her thick hair falling in loose waves, the strands around her face soft and so very Delaney. All of it—all of her—had completely sucked him in, fully underneath her spell and he couldn’t have been happier.
Tyson didn’t realize how much he’d been craving her individual attention until he had her uninhibited attention: her eyes locked on his, so in tune and in touch with everything he was saying, nodding along enthusiastically with every word out of his mouth. It was intoxicating to have her all to himself, immersed in him as he was in her.
He was addicted.
Tyson saw the waitress lingering out of the corner of his eye, praying she wouldn’t interrupt Delaney’s story—something about a new exhibit at Buffalo’s art museum; honestly, he was mostly just consumed by the spark in her eyes. Instead of checking in, the waitress approached the table silently, refilling water glasses and wine without a word before walking away.
I’m tipping you 50%, he thought to himself, leaning right back into everything Delaney, Delaney, Delaney.
Eventually, the waitress did return and burst their bubble, but Tyson was already on cloud nine, suggesting a walk on the boardwalk to get ice cream just to prolong the feeling for a little longer. The evening breeze paired with the lack of sun had goosebumps dotting Delaney’s arms, and it was all too easy for him to slip an arm over her shoulder and tuck her into his warmth. 
Driving home was like a scene from a movie, her phone plugged into the aux cord and Taylor Swift’s You Belong With Me blaring from the speakers. With a grin, Delaney cranked the volume up and Tyson found himself loudly singing the words alongside her; fortunately, the sound of his off-tune serenade was drowned out by the music. She sang to him, using her fist as a microphone as she danced in the passenger seat of his car.
Pulling in the driveway didn’t stop Tyson from continuing his performance, instead throwing open the door and running around to open Delaney’s, tugging her out to spin her in a circle at the instrumental break. He pulled her back into his arms, relishing the laughter she let out when he dipped her backwards.
The song faded to its end, the sound replaced by a softer one, the melody sweet and lulling. A faint beachy breeze blew past, and Tyson found himself pulling Delaney’s body closer. Her eyes were warm, looking up at him with a softness that made his heart melt and time stand still.
Tyson told himself it was gravity that drew him in, pulling him closer to her lips, suddenly yearning to know what her lip gloss tasted like. The world came to a spinning halt around him when he pressed his mouth to hers, like the universe wanted him to savor the moment. He kissed her more firmly, a strange tug in his chest letting his tongue flit against the seam of her mouth. She tasted sweet, like the strawberry ice cream he’d bought her on the boardwalk.
His hand moved up to her neck, cupping the side of her jaw to deepen the kiss, savoring the next sigh she expelled. He didn’t want to ever stop kissing her, not now that he finally knew what her lips felt like against his own. It warmed him from the inside out, like a buttery sunshine spreading through his veins, pulsing in time with the beat of his heart. 
Tyson forced himself to pull away, consciousness seeping back in through the Delaney-infused haze surrounding him. The expression painted on her face was dreamy, her eyes unfocused as she blinked them open, a little hitch of surprise in her throat as reality seeped back in around them. He swallowed the urge to kiss her again.
Blinking, Delaney stood in shock. A rush of cool air hit her face from the space that Tyson had just occupied. She blinked again, lips tingling.
Once Delaney managed to get her wits about her, she did her best to keep her voice level. “You didn’t have to… we don’t have to—”
Tyson’s smile was nearly enough to make her knees wobble—though she was stabilized by his hands firm on her waist. He didn’t seem to be nearly as impacted as she was—heart thumping rapidly in her chest, mouth dry, fumbling to right herself on shaky legs. “Violet and Preethi have been spying on us from the upstairs window for ten minutes.”
“Oh.”
In an instant, Delaney deflated. She glanced down at her feet, trying to hide her embarrassment—at both the idea of her intimate moment being impeded on, and at her own stupidity for thinking that the entire evening hadn’t been just an act. He’d been so sweet, so perfect, that she’d allowed herself to really believe in their lie, even for just a few hours. She could’ve sworn there was something so genuine about the way he held her hand on the boardwalk, the way his eyes watched her lips—
And that kiss. She really needed to ask him where he’d learn to be such a good actor, because he was convincing.
“C’mon, pookie,” Tyson said, taking her hand. Her thoughts vanished upon hearing his voice. “We’ve given them enough to look at.”
Back in the house, they were greeted by a few people in the sitting room, gathered on the couches watching a movie. Ignoring the barely-hidden grins from Violet and Preethi, Delaney offered a quick ‘hello’ and exchanged a few words about dinner before heading upstairs—“I’m tired,” was her excuse. 
She hoped her family didn’t notice that she couldn’t get upstairs fast enough.
Inside the locked bathroom, she turned on the faucet to imitate washing her face. Instead, her face crumpled as a sob wracked her body, warm tears spilling freely out of her eyes. The shift from on top of the world after the kiss to the fall in realizing it was all for show was jarring; she knew what she was agreeing to when he offered to pose as her boyfriend, but she hadn’t thought of the tease it would be for her heart to have Tyson be hers for the week. It hurt more than she’d expected to have him openly acting, to know what it felt like to kiss him and have it be all for show.
The little smiles, soft touches on the back of her arm as he’d pass in the kitchen, the brush of his fingertips on her waist in the lake. All of it so natural, sly, clandestine, like he wanted it to be a secret just for the two of them—and because it wasn’t an elaborate public display to uphold the falsehood for her family, it had only naturally drawn her to the conclusion that maybe there was some truth behind it.
That kind of thinking was too good to be true, she told herself. She wasn’t the main character of some romance novel; she was just Delaney.
And guys like Tyson didn’t go for girls like Delaney.
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The next few days passed peacefully: jet skiing, swimming, and plenty of mermaids. If Tyson could sense any change in her after their date, he didn’t show it. In fact, if anything, he’d doubled down on his affection, brushing her cheek with his lips when he walked by, falling asleep with an arm loose around her hip, stroking the back of her hand by the fire. 
It was wonderful and infuriating all at once. Delaney couldn’t help but lean into him, unable to resist his touch, even though she knew it would crush her even more once Sunday rolled around and it was time to leave. She could barely even think about telling her family they’d ‘broken up’—but she was getting ahead of herself.
She knew she should bring it up with him, tell him how she felt, but she couldn’t bear to make things weird and ruin the rest of the trip. For the rest of the week, she reasoned, she’d let herself live in the fantasy. Enjoy another few days of blissful ignorance. And she’d deal with the consequences of her actions later. 
Hurt feelings were future Delaney’s problem. 
It was Friday when the kids announced that everyone was cordially invited to a play performed by them that evening. Both Delaney and Tyson helped them to construct a few of the props necessary—including a reindeer made out of a tarp and a bike and multiple paper crowns. 
Before the show, Delaney followed Tyson into the kitchen to retrieve a beverage for the show. As she poured herself a glass of wine, Tyson passed behind her, hand brushing against her waist when he reached past her to grab a High Noon from the fridge. They turned at the same time, bumping into one another, causing her white wine to spill down her front.
“Shit, I’m sorry—” she said, only to have him interrupt with a sudden kiss.
Initially caught off guard, it only took her a few moments to recover before she was kissing back, addicted to the feeling of his lips against hers. That same beautiful warmth filled her, a kind of light that she only experienced with him. She wanted to devour him, to have him devour her, to think and feel nothing but Tyson—
And then he pulled away. Lips wet, cheeks flushed, she could see the emotion swirling behind his beautiful brown eyes. “Delaney—”
But, with her wits about her now that he wasn’t making her dizzy with his kiss, she knew what came next. She interrupted him before he could finish. “Don’t.”
“Don’t?” Tyson’s brows furrowed together, confusion knitting between them. “Don’t what?”
Delaney shook her head and repeated herself. “Whatever you’re about to say, I don’t want to hear it. It isn’t fair.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You think you’re catching feelings, right? Because you’ve had to act like it all week.”
Tyson blinked, clearly surprised that she’d taken the words out of his mouth. But the surprised expression quickly morphed into one of frustration. 
“So you’re not even going to give me the chance to speak?”
“I can’t hear you say it, Tyson—not unless you mean it,” Delaney said, then added softly, “Not when this has been the best week of my life because I’ve gotten to pretend you were mine—which is all I’ve wanted since we met.”
She watched his eyes soften, and the pity she imagined there nearly made her sick. It was a necessary evil, though; she needed to intercept his confession before he said it out loud. She couldn’t bear to hear him emit those words, couldn’t hear him confirm what she knew to be true: a future with her wasn’t in the cards for him. He’d never say it, probably wouldn’t even admit it to himself, but she knew that he was too good for her, that someone like her didn’t deserve someone like him. She wasn’t ready to burst the final bubble of her beautiful fantasy, leaving her cold and sad and alone.
But instead of sympathy, or a patronizing statement, Tyson adopted a bite to his words. “You think I fell for you on purpose? I didn’t have a choice, Delaney.”
Something about the way he said it felt like a slash to her heart, like he had fallen for her but wished he hadn’t. It stung more than she expected, more than him simply not reciprocating her feelings.
“This was your idea in the first place, Tyson. You committed to this,” she reminded him coolly. “It’s not my fault you’ve never seen a rom-com before. I didn’t force you to do shit.”
“Delaney, that’s not what I’m saying—”
Against her will, tightness formed in her throat, a sting hot behind her eyes. “I thought I could handle it. Having you be mine. I’ve always known it would come to an end, that I’d have to go back to life as it was. But I didn’t realize how much different it’d be knowing how it feels to kiss you, to hold your hand. To have you look at me like I’m the only person in the world.”
“Then you should’ve fucking told me that before you let me be your boyfriend!”
This is going nowhere, she thought to herself. She needed to walk away from him, right now, before the wall of tears threatening to burst through came pouring out.
Delaney took a breath, searching for the words that would wound him the way he wounded her. She steeled herself, feeling a cool exterior blanket her and harden into place like a cast. “Well, I didn’t. Sue me. I just need you to do your job for another 24 hours, and after that, we don’t ever have to speak again. Okay?”
She turned on her heel without waiting for a response, though she heard him say her name as she walked back outside to where her family was gathered on the patio. Her body thrummed as she returned to Rachel’s side, her younger sister casting a glance of concern in her direction. Delaney ignored her, smiling and turning to Hailey, Noah, and Olivia’s performance—Frozen, the musical.
A movement in her periphery told her that Tyson, too, had returned to the group, taking the seat beside the makeshift stage that Olivia had saved for him. She could feel his gaze lingering on her, but she refused to give him the satisfaction of acknowledging him.
“Good?” Rachel’s voice was quiet, subtle, concerned. Delaney nodded, and she knew that her sister knew she wasn’t, in fact, good. She was grateful that Rachel knew her well enough to know to let it be, that she’d talk when she was ready. For now, Delaney wanted to stew a little bit.
So stew she did, staying mostly quiet as the musical wrapped up. The performers received a standing ovation before a fire was started and the usual chatter began. Darkness fell, the moon rising higher in the sky, their voices swallowed by the night air. Delaney offered a few comments here and there and helped Noah with his s’more, watching the group dwindle as more and more of them went off to bed for the night. Tyson, to his credit, remained by the fire too, helping to keep the kindle stocked—almost like he was saying, ‘I can go all night.’
But so could she.
The crackle of the wood and the lick of the flames hypnotized Tyson, pulling him in and quieting thoughts running through his mind as he replayed the conversation they’d had. Admittedly, he’d lost his temper a little bit, frustrated that Delaney wouldn’t let him get a word in edgewise, that she’d somehow made him out to be the bad guy.
As the kids began to make their way to bed, Tyson indulged in another beer—or three. Not enough to be drunk drunk, but enough to wash away some of the rogue emotions swimming around inside of him. He kept his eye on Delaney, who appeared to be stewing silently across from him and refusing to make eye contact with him.
But he was determined; he wasn’t going to let her slip away—not this time. Not after her confession. Not when he still had things to say that she needed to hear.
So he waited, making casual conversation with those remaining, the chairs around him slowly emptying out until it was only him, Dean, and Delaney remaining. He cast another glance over to her, startled to see her already looking at him. He couldn’t read the expression on her face, but he held her gaze through the tips of the orange flames dancing between them regardless. Something in his heart swelled, even though he was pretty sure he’d fucked it all up—he just wasn’t exactly sure what he did wrong.
“You know, your mother and I looked at each other like that.”
With a blink, Delaney broke eye contact to turn and look at Dean. Tyson had never heard her talk about her mom, save for an occasional memory. Her lips parted—in surprise, maybe—before she said, “Like what?”
“Like there was no one else around,” Dean said simply.
Delaney’s eyes flicked to Tyson’s. He swallowed carefully, suddenly all too aware at Dean’s implication, whether intentional or not. As her boyfriend, he was supposed to want a future with her: that was the end goal.
He didn’t have to feel guilty. 
So he smiled, letting her see the warmth and happiness that Dean’s statement filled him with. He wanted her to know that when he was with her, the rest of the world faded away.
She was his Cape Cod. His escape from the upcoming pressures of free agency, of the already-exhausting training regimen that waited for him upon return home, of his future in the NHL on the line. With Delaney, none of it seemed to matter so much. As long as she was by his side, everything seemed like it’d be okay.
“Goodnight, you two,” said Dean’s amused voice. In his inner monologue, Tyson had completely forgotten that Dean was around, and he jumped slightly when he’d interrupted his train of thought. “Put the fire out when you come inside, will you?”
“Yeah,” Delaney called after him, glancing back at Tyson. “Goodnight, dad.”
Tyson waited until the crunch of Dean’s shoes on the sand disappeared up the lighted walkway to the house. “Delaney…”
“I’m sorry,” she interrupted. “I was being selfish. I shouldn’t have— it wasn’t fair of me to not even let you say your piece.”
“I didn't know how you felt. I… I wish you’d told me,” he said, gently. “I wouldn’t have wanted to tease you.”
“I didn’t want to make things weird between us,” she confessed. “I didn’t really think about anything being different after this.”
Tyson nodded in understanding. The fire crackled beside him, burning bright in the cool darkness around them. He wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol or his proximity to Delaney that made everything seem so damn beautiful. Probably a mix of both.
“You can say your piece now. I won’t interrupt this time.” She smiled, following where his gaze had just been, watching a spark pop beneath one of the logs.
“It’s not much of a piece,” he said. “I didn’t really think about how I was going to say this.”
“So, just say it.”
“I love you.”
Delaney snorted, rolling her eyes. “Tyson, you’re drunk.”
“I know. This isn’t exactly the way I envisioned first saying it to you, but I need you to know,” he confessed, aware that he was on the verge of drunk rambling. He composed himself and repeated, “I love you, Delaney.”
Delaney’s smile faded, staring at him. Her eyes studied his face, almost like she was searching for the truth in his own eyes. Convinced he could prove it, he stood and walked around the fire, moving into the empty seat beside her—only wobbling once en route. Her breath caught in her throat at the new proximity and he reached across the armrest to take her hand in his. 
“You said not to say it unless I meant it,” he whispered. “I mean it.”
He watched as the weight of his words settled in, even drunk Tyson having enough wherewithal to know that it was time for silence. Slowly, a smile began to spread across her features. 
Illuminated by the glow of the fire, Tyson thought it was the most beautiful he’d ever seen her look.
“Are you still gonna mean it when we leave here on Sunday?” she asked, eyeing him. “You’re not going to get back to Buffalo and shake out of this vacation high?”
“Whatever you need me to do to prove it to you, I will,” he said solemnly. “But I really, really would like to kiss you first, if that’s okay with you.”
Her eyes widened with surprise, just briefly, but then she was smiling again and nodding. With a finesse that only a drunk person could manage, he leaned forward to cup her jaw with his hand, nose brushing her own affectionately. He savored the feeling of her breath against his lips and closed his eyes.
As it had both times before, her kiss lit him on fire from the inside out. He poured himself into her, hoping that he could convey his sincerity with the depth of his kiss.
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SIX WEEKS LATER
The buzz of her phone had Delaney setting down the Lego instruction booklet to glance at it. Smiling at the contact photo—Tyson, freshly awoken, his hair sticking straight up—she turned the screen to Noah, earning a wide smile with an extra tooth missing. She swiped to answer, letting the camera face her nephew.
“Noah! Hey, buddy,” Tyson’s voice greeted with a laugh. “What’re you up to?”
“We’re making a Spiderman Lego set! Look!”
“Wow, that’s awesome. I wish I could do it with you. You look like a real hockey player with those teeth missing.”
Noah smiled again, showing off the two gaps where his baby teeth had recently fallen out. Delaney started to flip the camera back to herself when a voice sounded from the other room. “Tyson! Tyson!”
Little feet pattered excitedly through the doorway, Olivia’s face beaming as she ran to grab the phone from Delaney’s hands. “Hi, Tyson.”
“Hey, Liv. When are you coming to visit me and Aunt Dee?”
She jumped up and down excitedly, looking at Delaney. “Aunt Dee said we can come and have a sleepover over winter break!”
“That sounds awesome. We can wear matching pajamas,” he said, earning a giggle from Olivia, who launched into an elaborate itinerary for their slumber party, including candy, a makeover, and a Frozen marathon.
“I can’t wait,” he said. “Hey, do you think I could talk to Aunt Dee?”
With a nod, Olivia said her goodbyes and made him promise to text her goodnight. Flipping the camera back to herself, Delaney smiled and raised her eyebrows. “Hi.”
“Hi, muffin,” he said, an easy smile curling up on his own face. He was sitting outside on a porch, curls peeking out from under a gray hoodie. “How was your interview?”
“Really good. We’re going to schedule a final interview at the museum next week once I get back. I’m pretty sure I’m going to get the job.”
Tyson’s smile grew wider. “That’s great news. One step closer to the Met!”
“I’m good with Buffalo’s art museum for now,” she said. “I don’t want to be that far from you.”
“Aww, honey bear,” he teased. Delaney wrinkled her nose, rolling her eyes at him. Her interview had been over video call, taken from Ben’s office at their house in Rochester. If all went well, she would soon become Buffalo AKG Art Museum’s new Membership Coordinator.
Things were looking up for her. And even though life wasn’t perfect, she had Tyson and her family to help her get through whatever came her way.
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SIMILAR CONTENT:
Third Time’s the Charm* Adore You Love It If We Made It* One Night Standards
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theautismcorner · 14 hours ago
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I have bothered my friends about this enough so now I'm posting my ramblings to tumblr so i don't annoy anyone. This is primarily about being disabled.
I love Viktor so much. I love seeing disability rep in media, especially the way they talk about Viktor within arcane. I will phrase this in the most vague way I can - at the end of season two when Jayce talks to Viktor about it I wanted to implode. I would kill for someone to say that to me. I relate to him on an insane level. Starting off with something i find amusing and unrelated to disability - my eyes are actually fairly similar in color to his. One of my friends called them dark honey one time which i think is really cute. Now onto the disability part - I am physically disabled (I have hypermobile ehlers danlos syndrome) and often walk with a limp due to pain and have to use braces a lot. While I am dealing with my flare ups reading fics from Viktors pov is really therapeutic because they make me feel like I am not alone in my pain. They help to distract me from the pain too. Something within the fics--the ones that have his pain as a central element--that i love is how much the other characters (namely jayce) care about him and just see him. People who aren't disabled probably don't know how hard it is to ask for the help you need it during flares for fear of being a burden or being weak. When people just offer help, even with small things like getting a blanket or making a cup of tea, it truly means the world. I have been in a flare for three days and have been virtually on my own with it because I don't live with people i like much or even care to know that well and cant really physically leave once the flare is active. I have been living off of crackers, cheese, and cereal because I cant make myself food which sucks. I am lucky i had put my mini fridge next to my bed so i don't have to walk to get ice packs or cheese. I just read Viktor fics (jayvik to be more specific because season two is ouchy) and listen to the same song on loop for hours (the song is Fantastic - Cait and Vis song) just wishing I had someone to care for me like what I am reading. I read one where Jayce makes Viktor his favorite soup and brings it to him and that's exactly what i wish I had right now. I love living vicariously through the fics but god would it be nice to have this stuff irl. Anyways, my legs feel like they are being pulled apart, one muscle/tendon/bone at a time, so I am going to keep reading fics until I have to hobble to a friendsgiving. If y'all have any fic recs please let me know.
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justwhisperingfantasies · 2 days ago
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The One That Got Away
Part 2
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Characters: Reader, (Y/N), and nicknames babe(s). Jensen Ackles. Jared Padalecki. Misha Collins. Ruthie Connell. Rob Benedict. Osric Chau. Alexander Calvert. Briana Buckmaster. Eric Kripke. Lily (o.c) Abby (o.c) Brett (o.c)
Warnings: Drinking. Language. Angst. A smidgen of smut(not too graphic) Talk of blackmail, Talk of pregnancy loss, Cheating. Talks of past cheating.
Summary: You get pulled back into the magic of supernatural conventions and realize the love you once had is still there.
Word count: 6,275
A/N: Sorry it took so long. Hope y'all enjoy it. 💗
If you would like to be added to Tag List click here
Please don't copy my work
Like, comments and reblogs are highly appreciated 💗
Part 1
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Jensen’s P.o.V
Jensen watched you walk away in Ruthie’s arms. He turned to Jared and sighed. “Exactly how much of that did you hear?”
“Well, I came in around blackmail. What the fuck is going on Ackles?”  Jensen explained everything to him. Jared stood there in shock. “That’s pretty much the same look (y/n) had on her face too.”
“So, when you two told me you ended it because you were better as friends...”
“Yes Jared. We lied to you. Hell, we lied to everyone. I didn’t want to be painted fuckboy Ackles, and she didn’t want everyone feeling sorry for her. So, we lied.” He said again. “I’m sorry Jared.”
Jared took a second to process everything. “We tell each other everything. Why did you feel like you couldn’t tell me this?”
“I. I don’t know man. I think I was just too ashamed. I didn’t want anyone to know.”
“Where and when did this happen?”
“You remember that party we went to right before the hiatus between season 7 and 8?”
“Yeah… That was 2012, right?” Jared asked, trying to remember.
 Jensen nodded.  “(y/n) had to leave early because the wreck, remember?”
“That’s right. But to be honest I was really drunk, and it was a long time ago.” Jared shook his head. “What I don’t get Jay. You were going to ask her to marry you the next day. I went with you to buy the ring. I don’t see you throwing away everything you guys had drunk or not.”
“Jared, I don’t remember anything from that night. I remember dropping off at the airport. Next thing I know is I’m waking up in a stranger’s bed naked.
“You don’t remember it at all?”
“Nope.” Jensen gestured for them to go inside. “I tried Jared. I tried to find her during hiatus. She wouldn’t return my phone calls. No one would tell me where she was. Then Kelsey called me telling me she was pregnant and started with the blackmail.
“Dude again why didn’t you tell me?”
Jensen sighed. “I didn’t want her to have any more power than she already had. If she knew that you knew she could use me to get you to do whatever she wanted.”
“How did she do it? Like what did she threaten you with?” Jared asked as they made their way to the elevator
“Media mainly. Before she lost the baby, she threatened to go to everyone and anyone that would listen about how I knocked her up and left her and the baby. Then after, I’d be the asshole that left the mother after just losing the baby. I was young and just starting out. I believed everything she said. You know how one dumb rumor can ruin someone’s life or career. I just wish I would of went to my dad sooner.”
“I wish you would have told me, but I understand why you felt like you couldn’t. I’m sorry I should have known something was wrong.” He hit the call button
“J.P Don’t do that; you have nothing to be sorry for. You wouldn’t of had a reason to doubt anything, from what I hear I’m a pretty good actor.” He smiled. Jared let out a soft chuckle “besides we can’t change the past. We can only learn from it, move on, and try to repair the damage.”
“Yea... At least she knows the truth now. Maybe you guys could get back”
“I’m not.”
“Jensen. I was going to say get back to being friends.
“I don’t know Jared she’s pretty hurt and didn’t say much even after I told her.”
“Give her time to process everything. You might be surprised.” The doors opened and they walked through, hitting the button with their floor number.
“I’m not getting my hopes up.” Just then Jensen’s phone went off. It was a text from a number he didn’t recognize. He raised his eyebrows as he read.
“What?!” Jared asked.
“Jensen don’t call Eric. Just think about it.”
“Well told ya you might be surprised.”
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Reader’s P.o.V
You woke to a knock on your hotel door. “Go away!” you yelled.
“I have coffee.”  You heard someone yell back.
“Ok hold on.” You rubbed your temples trying to get the slight headache to stop as you sat up.  You got up and looked in the mirror. You quickly ran a brush through your hair and splashed some cold water on your puffy eyes.
There was another knock. “Come on, it’s getting cold.”
“Keep your panties on.” you yelled as you walked to the door. “Lily? What are you doing here? How’s your dad?” you opened the door wider and stepped out of the way.
“My dad is fine. Just a broken wrist.” She handed you a cup of coffee stepping through the doorway. You closed the door behind her. “The truck not so much, but it could have been way worse.”
“Well, that’s good. But what are you doing here?”
“Rescuing you.” she said sitting down on the sofa.
“For real?”
“Yep, you’re off the hook babes. You can go home.” She looked up from her coffee. “What’s that look?”
“What look?”
“That look. He got to you.”
“Lily. It’s not like that.”
“Ugh I knew you coming here was a bad idea. I swear I’m to kick.”
“Lil. I have to tell you something.” You sat beside her and told her everything. 
“Oh my god.”
“I know”
“Oh my god!”
“Can you say anything else?”
 “So, he didn’t love her.”
“Apparently not.”
“I thought something felt off, but I just thought it was the energy from whatever happened between you two.”
“Lily you’re not psychic”
“But I am psychic adjacent.”
You rolled your eyes. “That’s not a thing.”
“Wait. Not trying to be a Debbie downer here, but how do you know he wasn’t lying?”
“He wasn’t lying.” you assured her.
“How do.”
“Because I know Lil.” She looked at you. “Trust me I know.”
“Oh my god. So does this mean y’all are gonna get back together?”
You sighed. “Lily, I can’t.” she gave you a puzzled look. “don’t look at me like that you know why.”
“Right.” She took a drink of her coffee
“You still love him...”
“Doesn’t matter.”
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Jensen’s P.o.V
As he waited to go through the curtain for the morning gold panel, he couldn’t help but wonder if she would be sitting in her seat. He smiled at the thought.
“You ready man?” Jared asked. He nodded. “Let’s go.”
They walked out on-stage waving and blowing kisses at the crowd. His eyes glanced down hoping to see her face. Nope damnit. The women sitting her sitting in (y/n)’s seat waved. He furrowed his brows but waved back. What the hell was Lily doing here. Did (y/n) leave?
“Jensen you ready for questions?”
“Yes, sorry. Need more coffee.” He said the cup in his hand with a smile, the audience laughed. “Alright, your blue hoodie.”
. She left and the only relationship you would have at this point would be professional. Come on Jensen head in the panel he thought
“Jensen? You ok man? “Jared asked nudging his arm
“Yep. What was the question?”
Jared repeated it to him, and he did his best to answer it. As the minutes ticked by and the questions kept coming, he tried his best to stay focused. He managed it for most of the panel except when Jared got a question and his mind started to wander, but Jared knew what was going on, so he tried to keep Jensen engaged in conversation with his answers.
“Alright. Thank you, guys. We love you all. Take care.” They walked to the opening of the curtain. “Ok how bad was it?”
“The beginning was rocky, after you got out of your head it was bad at all.” Jared promised him. “You gonna be, ok?”
“Gonna have to be.” 
Jared sighed. “Is there anything I can do?”
Jensen smiled. “Unless you got a Jennie, not really”
“So, you boys have some time before your meet and greet. Y’all hungry?”
His whole body froze. She didn’t leave.
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Reader’s P.o.V
Jared spun around, “(y/n) we thought you left.”
You took a step back and raised your hands. “Do not pick me up Padalecki!”
He laughed. Jensen finally turned around.
Jared could feel the tension between the two of you. “let’s go get some grub.” He turned around and started walking. You and Jensen followed.
You and Jensen followed in awkward silence.
“So have you thought about the part?” you asked Jensen
“Yea. I think it would be fun. He is a complete dickhead though.”
“Oh, a total scumbag, but.”
“You’re really going to defend him?”
“I agreed with you.”
“With a but.”
“Ben is the character you love to hate. You know he’s fucked up and yet you find your self hoping he will do the right thing. Who knows maybe this whole asshole thing is just a front.” Jensen raised his eyebrows at you. “The guy has ptsd, been tortured by the Russians for years, screwed over and used by Vought, screwed over by his own team and the woman that supposed loved him. I think if we got the right guy to play him, he could be a real fan favorite” You nudged into him.
“Why do you have such a hard on for this character?” he asked as he opened the green room door for you.
You took a step, then turned to him “I guess I just have a thing for assholes.”  You teased.
Jensen’s jaw dropped. “Wow! That was a cheap shot.”
You walked to the fridge and pulled out 2 bottles of water, tossing one at Jensen. He caught it and took a drink.
“Plus, you’d look good super suit, Ackles.” You said laughing as you sat on the couch.
He chuckled and sat beside you laying his arm across the back of the couch behind you.
You heard the door open and looked up when you heard your nickname. “Babes! You’re still here?!” Misha sat down on the other side of you. “And still wearing that Cowboys hat I see.” He flicked the bill of your baseball cap.
“Be careful Collins. If you hurt this hat I will hurt, you.” You pulled the bill back down and stroked it. “And yes, every game day.”
“Is that the one you stole?” Jensen chimed it.
“I did not steal it.”
“Yes, you did. You came to grab me for a scene.” He winked at you  “You asked to borrow it because you didn’t have a scrunchy.” 
“I’m still borrowing it.”
“10 years later?” Jensen raised his eyebrows.
“Yep.”
He smiled and shook his head.
Before you could stop it, the memory was already replaying in your head.
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Year 2008:
“We gotta get back babe, Sgriccia said 25 minutes.”
“I don’t want to.” You protested.
“Trust me. I’d rather lay here with you like this.” He lifted the sheet for a peek “Come on just a couple of scenes and we will be right back here. Exactly like this.” He waggled his eyebrows making you smile.
“Promise?”
He smiled. “I promise.” He kissed you.  He got up and picked your clothes up and laid them on the bed.
 You got dressed and looked in the mirror. Your hair was a wreck. “Can I borrow a hat?”
“A hat?”
“Yes, someone made my hair all messy.” You pointed at him and mouthed the word you, making him laugh. “I don’t have a brush or scrunchy to fix it and I know your ass has a million hats around here.” He handed you his new Dallas cowboy’s hat. “Thank ya love.” He nodded with a smile.
“You ready?” he asked holding out your coat for you.
“Yep.” You put your arms in and turned to face him. He gave you one more kiss. “I love you, Ross.”
“I love you too baby.”
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Jensen cleared his throat bringing you back. You looked at him, his eyes told you he was reminiscing as well. You shot up off the couch and awkwardly walked over to the fridge. You opened it and pretended to look for something.
“Look who I found.” Abby said walking through the door with Lily following her. “Did we plan a reunion this weekend?”
You smiled. “Don’t even try to pretend like you don’t love seeing our faces, Abigail.” She narrowed her eyes as you said her full name. you blew her a kiss with a dramatic mwah sound.
“Hey, are you guys going to Rob’s thing tonight?” Jared asked you walk
“What thing?”
“I guess Louden Swain is having a pop-up at the bar across the street tonight.”
“I don’t know.” You looked over to Lily who was attempting puppy dog eyes with her bottom lip pouted. You sighed. “You guys and you’re damn puppy eyes.”
Lily’s face perked up. “Is that a, yes?”;
“Yes.” You said walking toward the door “Come on boys. Meet and greet time. Jensen and Jared followed you. “You too Lily?” you held your elbow out to her. She linked her arm in yours and you walked out the door.
You watch Jensen and Jared interact with their fans with a smile on your face. You felt someone nudge your arm. “Hey there.” Osric said.
You smiled at him “What’s up Oz?”
“Nothin. Hanging out.
“Sounds fun.”
You look back at Jensen. He was watching you. His face was hard, and his brows scrunched together. You raised your hands and eyebrows in a what gesture.
“He’s jealous.” Osric said.
“Oh, shut up. He is not.”
“You want me to prove it?” you rolled your eyes and Osric put his arm around you. You watched Jensen’s jaw clenched and his nostrils flared.
 “Don’t piss him off. You shook off Osric’s arm. “But why would he be jealous of you?”
“He knows I had a thing for you back in the day.”
“Speaking of things from back in the day.” You nodded your head towards Lily who was walking up carrying 2 carriers full of coffee cups. Osric smiled.
She sat down the 2 cup carriers she had in her arms and pulled out your coffee. “Here you go.” She said holding it out to you.
“Lily you could ask for help ya know.”
“Eh I’m used to it, Oh, hey Osric. How are you?”
“I’m good. How are you?”
“Good, good.” The awkward tension made you cringe. He said, “Here, let me help you” he picked up one of the carriers.
“See ya around Babes.” He winked at you, and you nodded as they walked away.
Jensen’s face relaxed and you shook your head at him. His attention went back to his face, and you couldn’t help but smile as you watched. He was so good to his fans. He smiled at you and your heart fluttered. Man, why did he have to go and fuck everything up? You stood there pondering how much different you life would be with him.
“So, can I ask how the whole babe/babes thing started?” An unfamiliar voice made you jump. You looked over to find Alexander standing next to you.
“Really?! Nobody’s told you the story?”
“No. Everyone just says that’s what we’ve always called her.”
“Hmm. Ok. So back in season 3 Jensen and I started dating, everyone kind of new, but nobody really pressed us about it. We wanted to stay professional on set and around our co-workers. One day Jensen let babe slip out on set. Padalecki and Beaver started calling me babe to mock him and it just kind of stuck. Next thing you know everyone was doing it.”
“How long did you guys’ date?”
“Almost 4 years.”
“So, what happened?”
“We were just better off as friends. I guess,”
“I call bullshit.”
“Excuse me?”
“It seriously took you almost 4 years to realize you were better off as friends?”
“Babes.” Abby walked over to you “Can you take the boys out to lunch for me? I got something I have to take care of.” Abby grabbed you, you waved and Alex nodded as she drug you away.
“Am I gonna get paid for today?”
“Put it on my tab.” She smiled at you.
You made your way over to the table as the event ended.  “Y’all hungry?”
“Starving.” Jensen said and Jared nodded.
“Well come on. We are going out for lunch.”
“Who’s we?” Jensen asked.
“You, Jared, Lily, and me?”
“Ok I’ll go.”
“I mean if you don’t want to.”
“It’s not that. I just don’t wanna be the third wheel to you and Osric.”
“Really Jensen?”
“Well, you looked pretty cozy a minute ago.”
You rolled your eyes. You motioned Lily and started walking toward the elevators. She met you on your way. “You, ok?”
“Jensen being Jensen.” you looked over your shoulder, the boys were a way back but following.
“So, Lily, You’re a cast p.a now?” Jared said trying to relieve the awkward tension in the air that lingered around the table.
“Yeah, It’s a lot of fun. So much better than a grip assistant.”
“You gonna follow in (y/n)’s footsteps and become a writer?”
You smiled at her. “No. I could never. I really don’t know how she does it. It’s amazing. I wish you could read her work right now. What she did with Soldier Boy was awesome.”
Jensen’s eyes snapped up to you and your smile faded. “You wrote Soldier Boy?” he asked.
“I helped develop him for television.” His green eyes leered at you. “I did not create him myself.”
“Helped?” Lily continued “Eric loved everything you suggested for him. She made him so good. He’s a dick, but you got to love him.”
You sighed and went back to your plate. “Hey Eric.” Your eyebrows raised when you heard Jensen say Eric’s name. “I’m good bud. How are you?”  He laughed. You looked back up at him. Shit he was probably going to say no. You didn’t think Eric would fire you over it, but it wasn’t out of the question. “Well, you know I had to get woo-ed first.” He laughed again. “Yeah, she is good at getting what she wants huh.” More laughter. “Yes sir. Write me up a contract. Me and Frank will meet up with y’all” He listened. “Alright man I’ll talk to you later… bye” he hung up and put his phone back in his pocket. Your phone buzzed. You looked it and read the message.
Eric: Thank you!
You smiled as you turned the screen off and put your phone back on the table. The waitress came back over “Can I get you guys anything else?” she batted her eyes at Jensen, he flashed a smile at her. “No darlin’ just the check.” You rolled your eyes as he winked at you.
You stepped up to the elevator’s call button and pressed it. Jared and Jensen walked up as you waited. Jensen stood beside so close your arms were touching. The doors open and you start to walk but Jensen stopped you. “We’ll meet y’all up there. I have to talk to (y/n).” Lily looked at you and you nodded. The doors shut.
“What?” You asked but he stayed silent and then pressed the call button once Jared and Lily started going up. “’Jensen. What do you want?”
The second set of doors opened, and He gestured you to go first. You got in and leaned against the back wall.
“Ya know babes, You’re pretty cute when you’re jealous.” He pushed the button for your floor and turned around.
“What?”
“The waitress at lunch. I noticed your eye rolls and dirty looks.”
You sighed. “Have you ever heard the story about the kettle and pot?”
He gave you a flirty smile.  “So, what if I was?” He closed the space between you and slid his hands on your face, bringing his lips just inches away from yours. His eyes searching yours for a refusal, but you didn’t give one. His lips captured yours in a passionate kiss. Electricity coursed through your veins. Before you could stop them, your arms wrapped around his neck deepen the kiss further. His arms found their way around your waist pulling you into him. The elevator dinged and reality set back in ending the kiss.  He rested his forehead on yours.
“Jensen.” you whimpered between pants.
“Please don’t ruin this.”
“I’m sorry I can’t do this.”
“Why not?”
“Because I can’t.”
“Just tell me why and it will never come up again.
“I’m getting married.
 “Bullshit. Padalecki would have told me.” He tilted his head to kiss you again
You pulled back. “Jared doesn’t know.” His eyes shot open.
“When?”  
“5 weeks.”
“You’re getting married in 5 weeks and you didn’t invite Jared?” He asked, bringing his forehead back down to yours.
“Family only. You know I never wanted a big wedding.”
His face scrunched in pain. “Do you still love me?”
“Jensen...” you blinked back tears.
Your breath hitched as his hands smacked his palms against the wall. “Just answer the question!” He demanded.
You couldn’t stop the tears any longer. You nudged him. He didn’t move. “Jensen Please.”
He stepped out of the way, and you walked off the elevator. Your phone started to ring on the way back to your room. Your phone started to ring. Fucking fantastic you thought as you saw the name.
“Hey,” your voice cracked as you answered your phone.
“What’s wrong?” Brett asked.
“Nothing.”
“Eric just told me the news.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Congrats. I didn’t think you’d be able to actually pull it off babe.”
You hmphed. “Well thanks.”
“Don’t take it like that. Hey gotta go Angela needs me.”
“Oh of course.” The tears started again.
“Don’t be like that. She’s, my boss.”
“And she totally has a thing for you.”
“You’re Being crazy.”
“Yep. I’m the problem.”
“Seriously? I gotta go. Can we finish this later?”
“Yep.” You hung up
“Hey, what happened?” Lily asked as you opened the door.
“I don’t wanna talk about it.” You threw his hat on your bed and headed for the bathroom.
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Jensen’s P.o.V.
“The answer was always going to be yes, J.p” he said as they walked off the elevator. “I just wanted more time with her.” “And did it help?” “Kind of yea.” Jared rolled his eyes. “I guess in a fucked-up way. At least the truth is out now. Maybe y’all can work on being friends now.” “I don’t think it will ever be the way it was. He said as they started across the street. “Well maybe you should try to find a new way to be friends with her.” They walked through the doors and the bar was packed. “I gotta pee. I’ll be right back.” Jensen pointed at the bar and Jared nodded. Jensen’s eyes scanned the room for her, but she was nowhere to be found. “She’s not here yet.” He sat down on the barstool next to Ruthie. “But she told me she was coming and she’s not one to break her word.” She took a drink. “You guys ok now?” “Honestly Ruthie. I have no idea. I did something stupid.” “Well, that doesn’t surprise me.” she teased. “Oh, gee thanks.” He smiled. “I was being malicious dear, just trying to say you do dumb shit when you’re in love.” “Do you know?” Ruthie’s eyebrows creased, “In 5 weeks.” “Yes, I know.” She sighed. “He’s an arsehole. I wish she would see it.” “Really?” “I shouldn’t be telling you this.” She took another drink. “We’ll blame it on the whiskey.” She winked at him. “I know you would treat her a million times better. Hell, she probably knows it. She’s just letting the past scare her.” He opened his mouth, but she put her hand up. “I know Jensen. But you will have o prove it to her.” He nodded. Jared walked back up and their phones went off at the same time “The cowboys won!!” Jared yelled, turning around. And leaning his back on the bar. “Finally stopped that losing streak.” Jensen said as they bumped fists. “You want a beer?” Jared nodded. Jensen go the bartender’s attention “3 Coronas Please.” Jared gave him a puzzled look. “She’ll be here.” The bartender sat down the beers and Jensen handed him his card. “Start a tab.” The bartender nodded. “Thank you.” “Dude.” “You can send me your half later.” “There she is.” Jared yelled and Jensen turned around on the stool. Damn she looked good. Tight jeans, white tee, He smiled when he saw she still had his hat on, but even with the makeup he could tell she’d been crying. “How bout dem boys? Huh?” She smiled. “What are we drinking?” “Whatever you want princess.” Jared teased. “Tequila.” She turned around. “Bri. Come do a shot with me.” “Hell yea.” “Ruthie. You want one?” “Not tonight boys. We have an early flight tomorrow.” She told them. “I’ll take Ruthie’s” (y/n) said. “I’ll do a second one with her.” Bri said Jensen raised his eyebrows. “You’re gettin drink tonight huh?” “I’m having fun tonight.” She smiled again “Alright.” Jared counted. “6 shots of tequila please.” The bartender brought over the shots with lime slices and a saltshaker. Jared picked up the saltshaker “Hands.” Jared said and licked his own hand. The three of them licked between their thumb and index finger, then held them up to Jared. He poured salt where they licked. “Limes” he said as he handed them each a lime. “Shots.” He handed each of them a glass and brought his into the center of them. They clinked their shot glasses together as they licked the salt and then took the shot. “Ready for another one?” Bri asked you “Yes ma’am.” Jared held out the saltshaker and the girls repeated the process. Jensen couldn’t help but smile at the face she made when she took the lime out of her mouth. “Still not a fan of limes I see.” “No not really.” She confirmed. “I gotta pee.” Bri grabbed (y/n)’s hand and drug her to the bathroom. Jared turned to Jensen. “She’s been crying.” “I know Jared.” Jensen cleared his throat. “My fault.” “Maybe we should just lock you two in a room and let you scream it out.” Jensen chuckled. “Keep buying Tequila shots and it will probably happen.” “I don’t know Ackles. She’s the happiest drunk I’ve ever seen. Might make the situation better.” Jared smiled deviously. “Well judging by that smile, I guess we will find out.”
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Reader’s P.o.V
“Ok spill.” Bri said as the bathroom door shut.
“What?”
She tilted her head and squinted her eyes. “the way you guys are looking at each other, ya know like you used to.”
“Bri. I’m supposed to be getting married in 5 weeks.”
“What?! You and Jensen. Oh my god final.”
“No not Jensen. His name is Brett. He works with me on the boys.”
“Oh. Why the supposed to be.”
“I don't know.” You told her about the conversation you had earlier today and the big fight you had before you came out. “When I told him I was going out with my supernatural friends, he lost his shit.”
“If he doesn’t make you happy. You need to call it off.”
“But everything has already been paid for and its not bad all the time.”
“Do you really want to get married because everything has been paid for?”
“You have a point.”
“Look just have fun with us tonight. Really let your hair down. You deserve fun. Tomorrow go home and hash it out with him. If you guys can’t come to an understanding, I’d say kick him to the curb. Deal?”
“Deal. Now go pee so we can go back to drinking.” She chuckled with you.
“Another round of shots?” Jared asked as you walked up to them.
“Maybe we should slow down a bit J.p.” Jensen suggested.
“Aw what’s wrong cowboy? Can’t handle your liquor anymore.”
He raised his eyebrow and gestured for another round. “Add another one.” Jensen told Jared as Lily walked up.
“Lily!!” You and Bri yelled together.
She smiled. “Really boys? I leave her alone with you for 5 minutes and she’s taking tequila shots?”
“I am a grown up. and I’ve only had 2.
“Bout to be 3.” Jared said turning around with the saltshaker. “Hands.”
“Can we get a lemon slice please?” Jensen asked the bartender. He sat the shots down and got in the fridge.
“Thank you.” You smiled.
The 5 of you repeated the took the shots and slammed the glasses on the bar.
“Bri!” you heard someone yell.
“I’ll be back.” Bri said and walked away.
You sat the deflated lemon slice on the counter. Leaning on the bar closer to him than you probably should have. “Is this for me?” You asked, pointing to the extra beer sitting by Jensen’s.
“Yep.” He said and picked his up.
“Well thank you.”
“No problem princess.” He teased and you squinted at him.
“How much time before they come on?” Lily asked.
Jared looked at his watch. “About 45 minutes.”
“(y/n), let’s go play a song” Lily said pointing at the fancy jukebox. You grabbed your beer and followed her.
“Really babe, Tequila shots?” she questioned you.
“Yes, Tequila shots. Lily, I have had a rough week. I want to have a fun night with my friends. So quit being a buzzkill and have fun with me, please.”
“Alright.” She walked up to the bar. You started scrolling through the songs. Lily came back over holding 2 shots. Your jaw dropped. “Let’s have fun then.” You clicked the glasses and took the shot. You turned back to the jukebox as she took your glass and returned it back to the bar.
“Yes!” you slid your card and tapped the song you wanted. You looked over at Jensen who smiled as soon as the music started. “His eyes are cold and rest” You sang “And his wounds have almost healed.” His smile got bigger.
“And she’d give half of Texas, just to change the way he feels.” Jared belted out making you laugh.
“She knows his loves in Tulsa.” You yelled back at him. Making your way back over to the boys.
“And she knows he’s gonna go.”  Jared said turning to you
“But it ain’t no women flesh and blood, it’s that damned old rodeo.” You and Jared sang loudly. Everybody laughed.
You turned to Jensen who was shaking his head. “What’s wrong Ackles, did you forget the words?” you teased him.
“No, just not 4 shots deep yet, darlin.”
“4?”
“Her and Lily snuck one without us.”
Jared shook his head at you.
You smiled. “Better catch up Padalecki.”
He looked over to Jensen. “2 more Jay.?”
“Come on Ross. Live a little.”  You gave him a cheeky grin.
He chuckled “Alright let’s go.”  He got the bartender’s attention and held up 4 fingers.
“Hello?” lily answered her phone. “Yes, Brett she’s right here hold on.” You rolled your eyes as she held her phone out to you.
You took it and put it to your ear. “Hey. Hold on.” You turned and walked toward the door.
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Jensen’s P.o.V
“Who’s Brett?” Jared asked as he and Jensen sat their empty glasses down. Thank you for asking Jared. Jensen thought to himself.
“Another writer on the show.” Lily said as she stepped up to the bar and ordered a drink.
“Why is he calling your phone looking for (y/n)?” Jared asked clinking glasses with Jensen before they took the second shot.
“He asked if she was ok. She wasn’t answering her phone. She probably forgot it and didn’t want to go back up.”
“My tab.” Jensen told the bartender as he took Lily’s drink and held it out to her.
“Thanks Jay.” She said as she took it from him.
“No problem.” He grabbed his beer.
“Come on Ackles. Let’s go play some music.”
Jensen nodded and followed Jared over to the jukebox.
“Did she mention this Brett guy to you?” he asked Jared as he slid his card in the card reader. He picked a song “You’re up.”
“No. Why would she?”  Jared asked searching for the song he wanted. “Now You.” They switched spots.
“I don’t know. It just seems odd.” He searched for her favorite. Jared rolled his eyes.
“You’re over thinking it. you need to get out of that jealous ex-boyfriend headspace bro.”
“I know its just hard with her.” He makes the final choice. “Done.”
“Jared!!” Mark yelled from one of the tables.
“I’ll be right back.”
“I’ll be at the bar.”
Jensen started back to his seat to find (y/n) sitting in it. “I think you’re in my seat little lady.”
She spun around to face him. “Well, ya know what they say about moving your feet.”
He narrowed his eyes. “You’re lucky.” He stood beside her leaning on the bar.
She smiled. “Or you’re just yellow bellied.”
He laughed. “I’d watch that mouth.”
“Oh, or what?”
“You really don’t wanna go there.”
She giggled. “So tough.” He smirked and shook his head.
He leaned against the bar and took a drink of his beer. “So, is everything alright? Lily said that Brett guy was worried about you.”
“What did she tell you?”
“Just that he’s another write for The Boys, you weren’t answering your phone, so he got worried and called Lily’s phone. Where is Lily anyway?”
“Bathroom.” She took a drink. “Everything is fine.”
“You know I know when you’re lying right?” Jensen asked and took a drink of his beer.
“I’m not lying we got into an argument, but everything is fine now.”
“An argument about what?” She stayed silent. “Ohh that’s him. huh. The guy you are supposed to marry?”
“Yea.” She sighed. “Can we not talk about it?”
“Thought we were trying this whole friend thing out?”
“So be my friend and drink with me. I wanna have fun. Make me forget my problems.”
“They’ll still be there in the morning.”
“Then I’ll deal with them then.” She took the last drink of her beer. “Or I can just got get Bri.” She got the bartender’s attention and pointed at her beer.
“Another for you sir?” the bartender asked as he sat down (y/n)’s beer.
“Yes, please and 2 more shots.” She smiled.
 “Oh of course you’d play this song.”
He smiled. “Mama told me, When I was young.” Her face lit up when he started singing, making his heart do a little flutter. "Come sit beside me, my only son, and listen closely to what I say, and if you do this it'll help you Some sunny day"
“Still got that pretty voice huh?”
“Guess so.”
The bartender sat the shots on the bar. “Uh what’s this?” Lily asked as she walked back up to you and Jensen. Jared was right behind her.
“Thought y’all were going do one without us?”
She looked at him and giggled.
“Add 2 more"
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Reader’s P.o.V.
“Come on I wanna get a good spot.” Lily yelled.
Jensen grabbed your hand “follow me.” you grabbed Lily’s hand, and she grabbed Jared’s arm. Jensen led you guys almost to the front. You stood next to him looking down at his hand still holding yours. “Sorry.” He let it go.
You didn’t know if it was your feelings or the 6 shots of tequila you had, but you felt kind of disappointed. You shook it off. The band came out and the crowd went crazy. You couldn’t help but smile at Jensen as he cheered. Just as Rob started to sing some big muscle bond guy stepped in front of you. Blocking your view.
Then you felt his hands on your shoulders, pulling you in front of him so you could see. He dropped his hands, but you could feel him behind you. Lily came over wiggling her hips and singing along with the band. You downed the rest of your beer and started to do the same.
“Lily!!” you heard someone yell. You look over and Lily is dancing her way to Osric. You leaned back and found Jensen’s neck pulling his ear down to you. “Is your jealousy cured now?” you pointed over to them, they were dancing together now.
He brought his lips to your ear. “Almost.”
“What does that mean?”
"Still got one more to get rid of." He licked his lips keeping his bottom lip in his teeth.
Shit maybe the tequila was a bad idea. You couldn’t stop yourself. You had to fill his lips again. You pulled him down, smashing your lips together in needy desire. His arms wrapped tightly around your waist. Pulling you to him, you parted your lips and shivers ran up your spine when he slides his tongue on yours making you roll your hips. He let out a small growl and thrusted his hips. letting you feel his hardening shaft on your ass. Making you moan softly. He pulled back and spun you around. His hands found your ass and pulled you close again. And his lips were back on yours. Your arms slid around his neck. Pulling him into you just as hard as he was pulling you into him. He double tapped your right thigh, and you brought your knee up to his hip. Flames shot from your core as he hooked his hand under your ass and pushed his hardness into you. You trailed kisses up to her ear.
“You wanna get out of here Cowboy?
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toasthaste · 11 hours ago
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ok here are some In Stars and Time thoughts: (wow! that's a lot of thoughts actually! long post warning! also warning for like every possible spoiler, don't read this if you haven't engaged with the game to your satisfaction)
I'm obsessed with the fact that the loop that ends up being the final one is the one where EVERYTHING goes wrong. I spent the whole game subconsciously building up my Perfect Final Loop in my mind, how I'd get every item to make sure I didn't miss an opportunity to use em, do all the friendquests and such... I didn't even realize I'd been building up that ideal scenario until after credits rolled! Really really cool. The timeline where Siffrin does the worst stuff he does in any loop is the one that stays. And it's still a happy ending! it's a better ending because of that! His friends saw him at his worst and still loved him! He didn't have to do everything perfect to keep them around actually! Something about that feels so right, to me.
I keep using "ludonarrative resonance" to describe this game and yeah ok I'm huffing my own farts here whipping that out but whatever, it's REAL. The player and Siffrin are on the EXACT same emotional journey as each other, we're getting tired of seeing the exact same lines over and over again right alongside them, we're taking shortcuts because we've seen it all before and just want to grab key open door grab crest etc etc make the progress go. We're starting to find these previously-charming characters grating because we've just seem them repeat the SAME lines over and over and over and OVER again until they start feeling like caricatures of themselves who we can barely feel any real compassion for any more.... It's just so.... clean, it's so perfect, to me. It helps that Siffrin is also one of the more relatable characters I've encountered in, like, media. I don't usually relate to fictional characters much, but, man, the emotional constipation, the building scorn, the depression, the Being Weird About Touch... I mentioned in another post that it's really just Siffrin and Murderbot who I've ever found viscerally relatable, of all the characters ever in media. So like, it's a pretty rare position. (I do not relate to the pun-love though. I'm funny I'm good at goofs but bad puns are extremely tedious to me. Which perhaps goes to show how well-realized Siffrin is, given that I'm able to look the other way....)
I think they could have stood to make Loop's Whole Deal a bit more obvious. I had no clue what their fucking deal was at any point. I totally missed the interaction that lets you learn about The Incident and thus get more Loop info at the end, and... it's valid to have different endings in a game of course, but... I felt like I really missed out tbh! And I had no way of knowing I had to keep interacting with the silver coin.... idk. It felt a bit like a gotcha I suppose. And Loop's deal is really cool! Holy hell! I'm doing a quick replay of the game to see more convos with them with this context, and to get the ending with them, and like--!!! There's so much here! Loop tellins Sif to use the royal We, they even tell Siffrin, like-- Loop asks Siffrin why he doesn't just tell his friends about the loops, maybe they can help, why keep it a secret? Meanwhile... Loop!Siffrin is stuck in their own helpless timefuckery world and refusing to let Siffrin know about it! The Siffrin from the Start Again timeline never learned those lessons, they're still trying to help someone else while refusing to ask for help themselves, refusing to even let on that there's a problem! And getting more and more emotionally fucked up about it! Man it's good. I guess it does make a replay more rewarding, not knowing this until the end, the first time, but so much of the game is already a replay that, idk, it does feel weird to replay it. I've already done so many repetitions y'all.... But I guess that's pretty meta, also...
Oh I'm under the impression this is not terribly uncommon but I absolutely did get got by the ?diary? that had the story of the person making a duplicate of themselves so they had someone to talk to. Like I fully thought that was describing the King and Siffrin, I spent a long time under the mistaken impression that Siffrin was a copy of the King in some capacity. Oops.... I might try to gently lead Beloved Roomie away from this interpretation when she plays it. Planning on being pretty hands-off overall but this is one area where I feel it might be justified to violate the prime directive.... But we'll see!
I wish I liked the music more..... This is a game that I think really begs for some real heartwrenching tunes to enhance all of the everything but instead none of it does it for me at all. I think that's a real shame, it's by far my biggest complaint. I'm not asking for Undertale-tier, but, at least something I'd want to put on my playlist for the emotional resonance, y'know?
THEY ACTUALLY KILLED THE KID !!!! LIKE!!!! I guess I have some biases I might should think about but I was not expecting a game that begins with so many explicit pronouns introductions (rather than just giving us context clues) and that has no real cursing to be willing to kill the kid, even impermanently? Let alone so gruesomely? I think I was expecting a much greater level of.... idk, tweeness, fanglessness, than we actually got. In spite of being a fan of insertdisc5's comics for YEARS and years! And like! Damn! Props to them!
God. God. So, like. All the ending fakeouts were fucking great. I genuinely thought the All Friendship Quests ending might be the Real One, I was prepared to be disappointed because it felt too soon and just not.... quite.... right? But I did think that was probably where it was heading! But it wasn't! I got got and it's so heartwrenching and also so satisfying, the mood whiplash from loop to loop is fucking sublime.
And-- AND! The real ending! So like. Some of the stuff I missed was just me not pursuing specific content correctly. But some of it is genuinely just, like, stuff that has no actual purpose besides flavor. Flavor, and.... The locked passphrase door in Dormont. The four-pointed leaf you can get (but not in the final loop!), the bell chime, etc etc. You can't actually really do anything with any of this stuff. But you don't know that! It feels like there's still all these loose ends! And!!! Those loose ends do their job SO WELL! The dev knows Gamer Instincts, knows people are gonna have that mental tally of boxes-yet-to-be-checked. Left some forever unchecked on purpose, which-- At the end, the real end, when Siffrin is about to talk to the Head Housemaiden and find out, for real, if this is the final loop or if it's all going to happen again, again, again. He's scared. He's traumatized! He's thought he Had It so many times! SO many times!!! Hope is terrifying! Hope is a poison! And the game has left these loose threads, and at least for me I really was not sure it was going to work. Like it seemed likely but the same metaknowledge of story structure that made me think it was likely also told me "but wait, there's all these loose threads, and the only way for them to trick us again WOULD BE to make the ending SO elaborate and epilogue-y....." I was nervous right along with Siffrin! I was uncertain! Fucking fantastic work, using my own gamer's instincts against me. Thrilled about it.
All the characters are so well realized. They all have specific relationships with each other, not just with Siffrin (Important!!!!! Huge complaint I had with BG3, they didn't put their whole pussies into this!!!!). And, and, I love how they all have different feelings about the time loops. I love that Mirabelle doesn't want "spoilers," and meanwhile Bonnie doesn't mind them and thinks of their alt-selves as like... them-but-not-them in a very cool way.
There's something about-- the way the game starts as a regular degular videogame and then graaaadually becomes, essentially, a visual novel as the actual gameplay becomes trivialized. Which itself is like, really really cool with the themes! And also, just.... I never would have picked up a straight up visual novel, I just, don't get into them, I'd rather read a book, but! I was already invested! It got its hooks into me when there was gameplay mixing things up and those hooks weren't about to let go just because the gameplay didn't super matter any more!
Straight up when we first see Red I didn't at all process that it was a Color in a game with No Colors, Canonically. They had to spell it out for me. It didn't occur to me to be surprised. I'm just too used to colors existing I guess idk. I think I wish the colors thing had gone somewhere a bit more...? I'm GUESSING it mostly originated as just a cute little explanation for why the game is all grayscale and then fit in with enough stuff to be given elevated importance (?) But it felt... hm. Underdeveloped, maybe. I think I really want more stories in this.... "Setting" and "Universe" and "Series" are not quite the right words but hopefully you get the idea. I want more so there can be one that develops that more. Not that leaving stones unturned is, like, illegal ofc. I just find the idea very compelling....
What is it with time loop stories and themes of loss that cannot be outsmarted. Man. I wondered, for so long, if Siffrin's country was going to be restored in people's minds, if that was one of the main big Plot Things we'd see. And it just didn't! Their memory is going to keep being bad, they're going to keep having all these huge tragic gaps and it's just. What can you do. At some point you have to either be permanently paralyzed by the horrific injustice you've suffered-- or you have to try to live a life. And. Man. I don't think I've actually ever encountered a story that was so much about that exact specific form of loss, the loss of one's culture, history, language! All of it. Gone from everywhere. It made me think of the obvious things and just. Man. What a howling void. The contrast with Odile's deal made it a lot more effective too I think. More of an expanded meditation upon these themes than just one toe dipping in, I guess? Hm.
Odile's battle profile pic when she's at low health is so fucking hot this cartoon character is so hot goddammit.
Game good. You're only reading this if you've already played it, I hope, so I can't use this space to recommend it in a meaningful way but. Heck. Game good.
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djevelbl · 2 days ago
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Alright, so, final thoughts, the short version: gET ON WITH THE NEXT SEASON, CHOP CHOP STORY BOY--
Seriously tho, GREAT story — there's something about it that has made me go existential crisis levels of poetic over it that NOTHING ELSE has made me go which like. props to Evbo, he's doing great! I WILL be going feral over that ending and Parrot and that Clown cameo and Zam and all things I liked and so on so forth, like always. I wanna make character designs but it feels... wrong, I guess, in a sense to give them all designs beyond the cubic space they inhabit — I don't do well with simple and detail-free designs (like Zam's and Wemmbu's like seriously, 5 year old in paint level of detail smh /aff) and I believe that giving them ANY amount of detail they don't already have is doing their characters a disservice?? ESPECIALLY with clothes???? Idk how to say it or explain it, but the fact they don't wear armor is VERY intentional, right? I mean, PVP typically involves armor and the fact that acquiring armor is OPTIONAL is intentional for whatever reason so, again, in my head giving them any more detail than they have (or lack I say as I side-eye Zam and Wemmbu) is a disservice to how PVP Civilization works. But that's honestly just me
More spoiler-y territory up ahead, gonna put in one of those good ol' "click here for more!" thingamabobs that tumblr has. Don't say you weren't warned.
Alright, now that all the cool kids are here, let's discuss details:
When I say I went "existential crisis levels of poetic" over this thing, I mean "I wrote a whole thing about being a spectator willing and wanting to help, but unable to due to the nature of being in different levels of reality" type shit, might drop it on my ao3 (y'all should go by my ao3 i have fun stuff there and might start dropping some other stuff as well wink wink ok. self promo over) and it was honestly fun! Will DEFINITELY do some MORE of that around this new episode! Unironically frothing at the mouth waiting for a new season to start slowly being drop-fed to us like little fish being thrown those fish food chip things idk I'm too drunk to think (not really. but it's fun to say anyway)
I LOVED Zam but tbf I've been loving that motherfucking asshole bastard /aff this WHOLE TIME so like. nothing new lmaooo. I ALSO love Clown's little cameo! (not counting it as a SPOILER spoiler cuz like. it's 2 mins or so in. I won't count that shit as spoilers c'mon) but uh. ALSO nothing new lol I'm a HARDCORE (not really) Clown fan I WILL be bought and EASILY swayed over with the promise of Clown content, I'm REALLY that easy; anyway it was really fun and OFC he's an antagonist smh — he's either a bad guy protagonist or an antagonist, NEVER on the same side as the protagonist/a good guy who DOESN'T wanna murder ppl (I see what kinda theater kid he is. I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE MR. CLOWN. YOU CAN'T HIDE FROM ME)
I said it already but I'll say it again: Tabi had ALWAYS been fucking sus to me from the start, what with being SO AT THE READY to exploit Evbo's respawning ability for her own gain and all that, so her backstabbing him ain't a surprise to me; but what someone (I'm too lazy to get to the computer to give proper credits or quoting. y'all are gonna have to make do with paraphrasing) said in the comments is actually fucking interesting: Evbo respawned; after the cut to black Tabi is seen holding her diamond axe and while that serves to show the audience what she was really born as, it could very well also show that Tabi gave Evbo a mercy — she let him respawn. She — potentially — didn't kill him with The Eternal Sword, and instead delivered the final blow with her diamond axe: an object that would allow Evbo to come back from death. She's gone soft.
That's gonna be her downfall, one way or another. Clown was right in doubting her — while she's physically strong and knows all the techniques, she's not detached enough from her emotions that she's fully capable of pretending to form friendships without actually making friends; aka: she can pretend she doesn't care, but something deep inside of her does care what happens to Evbo. Until proven otherwise I'll take this scene as bEING RIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, I READ TABI LIKE A FUCKING BOOK LET'S GO--
So all in all I'm gonna be OBSESSED over this for the next while — well done Evbo, well fucking done
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The end to the story. whatever happens, I guess it happened — I have hopes, idk where they're placed or what they mean, but I have them.
Whatever happens, I know Evbo is going out with a bang.
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I'm not ready to shut up about Aveline and Carver--so, when you go see Aveline in Act 1, you can catch up with her a little bit and that's where this conversation can happen:
Aveline: "It's just one more change, though. The real end for me was Ostagar. What about you, Carver? You were there. Do you feel something similar?" Carver: No. Aveline: All right, then. Bit of a tit, your brother.
I wanted to see what she would say if Carver isn't in the party. Instead, she says this:
Aveline: Carver was there. I imagine he feels something similar. If he allows it.
......well, at least she didn't call him a tit?
#dragon age 2#da2#carver hawke#aveline vallen#she's slightly nicer to him when he's not there but she's still like 'maybe he feels something similar but probably pretends not to'#like i'm not gonna pretend that carver doesn't bottle any feelings--he doesn't openly talk about bethany a lot for a reason#but to suggest he pretends to be unfeeling about things like ostagar is incorrect like he CLEARLY feels a lot about it#because he associates the battle at ostagar with losing his home and sister to the darkspawn#after playing as a warrior hawke who is best friends with aveline i do have a little more insight into why she might think this about carve#when hawke is a warrior they were at ostagar. they share that traumatic experience with aveline and if they're friends#they discuss it in a way that i think aveline *wants* y'know? but with carver he doesn't respond the way she wants him to#so she gets frustrated since even if she tried to talk to hawke about it... hawke wasn't there. hawke doesnt KNOW what ostagar#was like but carver does... but it's like aveline is ready to assume the worst of carver a lot of the time?#like 'carver doesn't talk about it because he's a tit who pretends not to feel' is the vibe i get from this but aveline...#that's like calling you a tit because you don't want to openly discuss all your feelings about your dead husband#listen aveline and carver are so similar but they have such key differences like they both survived the horror of ostagar#and lost a loved one to darkspawn while fleeing lothering AND they both blame hawke for it to a degree#even though they both know that's not right and that it wasn't really hawke's fault#they're both stubborn warriors with daddy issues looking to find their place#and when it comes to flirting? well i don't think carver's as bad as aveline#but i played MotA i know all about 'you could tame its wild heart'#but the key differences come in how they the end the game y'know? especially if carver's on the friendship path as a warden#i still haven't made him a templar but something tells me he ends up more on the same road as aveline#vs when he's a grey warden and able to be away from kirkwall and find a place on his own#y'all i could write a whole essay on aveline and carver but i paused my game to write this so i should go back to that sksksk
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dragonsasastronauts · 6 months ago
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Side note, if you have read only one of the books, just select the "has read" option. It's honestly not a big deal, though. I just included reading/not reading the books because I thought it would be interesting to see if that impacts anything at all.
Also also, for those of you who have Alistair marry Anora, but also have your Warden become his mistress, please just pick the mistress Warden choice. I only get to put 12 answers here, I am so sorry 😞
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front-facing-pokemon · 2 years ago
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fridayyy-13th · 3 months ago
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wow. not even a week into college and i'm already behind on work. fucking lovely.
#friday chats#friday vs post-secondary school#tw vent#(in the following tags)#i am immeasurably stressed right now#i need to talk to my doctor about getting a booster to go along w/my adhd meds#bc this has been a problem for a while but i think it's about to come to a head#and i'm very scared for when that happens#maybe also talk to my school's disability services#bc Good Fucking God i'm already overwhelmed#it's 11:56. should i just go to bed? i have so many things left to do#when do i even have the time to go to disability services. and i've heard a lot of schools' processes w/that are slow and overcomplicated#fuck. fuck fuck fuckity fuck.#i think i'm spiraling#i'm worried that if i don't get a degree i won't be able to find a nice enough job to support myself independent of my family#and i don't want to be stuck with them forever#i really really don't#maybe i can talk to disability services sometime tomorrow morning. see what they can do#i think there's mental health services too. i hope they're decent#i just feel really bad right now. and it's only week one.#it feels like time's moving too fast but too slow at the same time#classes take forever but my free time zips by and runs out way too quick#and when it's gone i've completed maybe one or two things. out of several. if any at all.#i just don't know what to do. it's only been three days.#maybe i can drop a class; i think i'm taking enough to still be considered a full-time student with one less thing on my plate#i hope so#fucking damn it#how do people do this??? for multiple years????#and i feel selfish for saying this but i hope if y'all see this post you'll interact with it somehow. even just a like.#i want to know someone hears me
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voskhozhdeniye · 10 months ago
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The entire western liberal worldview is currently balanced on the ability to psychologically compartmentalize away from the mass atrocities in Gaza and what western governments are doing to perpetuate them.
Everything that mainstream liberals claim to oppose is on full display in Israel’s actions in Gaza. Racism. Fascism. Tyranny. Injustice. Genocide. Yet they must necessarily avoid throwing themselves into opposing these things there at all cost, because it would mean acknowledging that their own political allegiances are inseparably interwoven with them.
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It would mean turning against Biden during an election year. It would mean admitting that their entire political posture against Trump all these years has been a phony performance, because they’re tacitly endorsing all the things they claimed to hate about him. It would mean admitting their entire worldview is a lie, and that all their critics to their left have been correct.
The western liberal is therefore in the year 2024 engaged in an exhausting regimen of nonstop mental gymnastics to avoid having an authentic relationship with the reality of what’s happening Gaza. They squirm this way and that, twisting their gaze toward empty nonsense like Barbie movie Oscar snubs and Trump’s latest instance of verbal diarrhea to avoid looking at what’s happening. On those odd occasions when they are forced to confront the reality of Gaza they start spouting gibberish about how “complicated” and “heartbreaking” it is and how they hope there can be peace as soon as possible, while frenetically avoiding saying precisely how that “peace” should be brought about.
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Gaza exposes the mainstream western liberal ideology for the kayfabe performance it always has been. The job of the so-called liberal “moderate” has never been to oppose racism, fascism, tyranny, injustice or genocide, their job is to perpetually give the thumbs-up to one head of the two-headed monster that is the murderous western empire. Their job is to help put a positive spin on a globe-spanning power structure that is fueled by human blood. To help elect Bidens and Starmers and Trudeaus and Albaneses who will ensure that the gears of the empire keep on turning completely unhindered while paying lip service to human rights and social justice.
The one faint glimmer of brightness in this profoundly dark chapter in human history is that it might start opening some eyes to the fraudulence of the mainstream fake-left political faction that has been marketed to the western public as an alternative to far right depravity. That westerners might start awakening to the reality that everything they’ve been trained to believe about politics, their government and their world is a lie. Such an awakening would be the first step toward a mass-scale movement into health.
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arcane-vagabond · 1 year ago
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#y'all my anxiety has me spiraling as of late because it just feels like my whole life is falling apart at this point#i got fired from my job a couple of months ago and i've been scrambling to try and find a new one#i work part time at a store i really love but it pays shit#and i've had all of these interviews and no one wants to hire me and i just feel unhireable at this point and it's hard not to despair#and on top of that i'm struggling with my self esteem again#i know i'm not ugly per se but i'm struggling with feeling confident in the way i look as a big girl#and all of my old insecurities are rearing their ugly heads and i want to cry just thinking about it#and i feel like such a failure right now even though i know that life has its ups and downs but my stupid brain just won't chill#and i don't really have any friends in the area because they all either moved away or didn't live here to begin with#and i'm tired of living at home because of my stupid student loans and not being able to afford to live on my own#i have one person i hang out with and we just met and i don't want to scare them off because they're a great friend and person#and i just feel like i'm never going to meet anybody who's going to love me the way i want to be loved because of my looks#also because it's me. and i feel like i'm so flawed as a person that no one will ever fall in love with me#and i've just been feeling really alone lately and i'm trying to do things to make me feel better but it's just so HARD right now#and i love writing because it gives me a chance to explore some of my feelings and it's something i genuinely love to do#and i'm sitting here waiting for the day things start to get better. and i know we all joke and i'm gonna sounds so dumb for saying this#but i feel like i was meant to be famous? or do something great idk and it's something everyone has always told me#and idk if my feelings of inadequacy are because of that or what but i'm scared that my life is going to mean nothing in the end#anyway this was a lot and you can pretend like you didn't read it. i just wanted to write some of my feelings down
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