#i don't think they're meant to be together. i think they're NEVER meant to be together
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Because what usually ties, say, toxic family members together is the idea that…”Oh, we're blood, we're family, we’re all of this.” Whereas these are two people - it's not even the case that they've known each other since childhood or anything like that! They've met relatively late in their lives.
But, you know, in usual, actual family situations it's presented as an obligation, kind of imposed by society. This idea that, oh, your family is your family, and all that.
Which is why I think that found family is usually presented as being this heartwarming trope within a narrative. You know? Why would you choose something that ruins you?
But then Carpenter and Faulkner have this level of commitment to one another that we usually only see when it's imposed as an obligation. But they just continue to choose to be bound by that, even when they're actively making each other’s lives quite difficult.
And there's something very darkly beautiful about that. Like, can I say it's in the best interests of either party? I don't know. But this idea that they're still bound by one another and consider themselves bound is incredible.
I think for Carpenter, family in the first place has never meant ease or support or much of anything positive in that realm anyway. But I think to her it does mean…”loyalty” is not the right word, but it's certainly…there's something about second chances there, something about extending grace.
You know? Like, that's your people. So you hold out your hand and you say, “OK, let's try again.”
had to pause the listening bc this part just absolutely devastated me. méabh de brún you have my heart & soul
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I finally finished the Leo revival part and my take is that Mapicc asked Leo to be a mole.
Idk what the original plan was, we know Mapicc wanted to revive him himself, but then Zam and Derap do it first and ask Leo on right away. So they suddenly have like two minutes to prepare.
Leo is insistent and petulant and silly and all the usual 'Lifestealer wants in on a team' tactics. I thought initially that this is why Leo always betrays his old team when asked back/revived bc he just really wants to be involved in the action, and if you ask him back he wants in, regardless of anything that was going on in the past.
But they didn't ask him back: Mapicc did.
And then Leo gets Flame on, within 70 seconds Leo is dead, he guilt trips and then rage quits, making Derap and Zam have to call him back on, which they will of course, and when he gets back he keeps guilt tripping saying he'll just quit.
Flame also logged off instantly after the kill, no talking in chat at all, no comments, nothing. Like he was trying to fake a recording and we all know how terrible the lifestealers are at faking a recording believably. The tell is always that they do it too fast. Lifesteal is longwinded and slow. If you get to the point too fast, you're faking it. And then there's the heart Mapicc later said he got back and the fact Leo still had his same armor trims despite saying Flame took it. If you're faking a kill you give everything back.
So then Leo gets them to come back over, he guesses about the zaun idea, like he already was fed information that he was to infiltrate, and he insists incessantly to be added. And they refuse.
So what's Mapicc to do. the mole failed.
So now it's his turn. He goes for the angle of being mad at Flame, saying they should kill him together. Zam explains how he wanted Leo to hear both sides and then choose, and Mapicc goes, well now he's pissed at Flame so he will never join Mawn (getting Leo back on as a mole), then Mapicc asks if they will help him lure Flame out, they say no, then Mapicc wants to set up a trap at Zaun and Zam says why don't you use your trust with Flame against him, and Mapicc immediately shifts to saying he can't kill Flame bc Flame will just blow up spawn.
Trying everything to get into a situation where Zam and Derap will fight him. Because I think that's his main angle. Despite anything about Zam, Mapicc desperately wants to be opposed with Mawn. He wants to prove his power by a fight, a war, like you do on lifesteal, and they just refuse to fight him. Even if he doesn't want to fight Zam, he sees it as inevitable, not just because he believes Zam will fight him, but because he's meant to be opposed. And nobody is opposing him.
Derap starts laying it on thick that they are just building and want to be peaceful at Zaun and Mapicc, both incredulously and mockingly, says, you guys settled.
And they agree. They're not going to fight.
And Mapicc can only say "have fun living out your days gentlemen" and leaves without waiting for an answer.
I doubt he lets them off that easily. He knows the dedication to the sport of doing an arc against Zam. Zam never gives up. And currently his 'never gives up' is about not fighting.
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breakfast for two (romantically!)
pairing: guitarist!band member!ellie williams x brother of band member! soft personality!female!reader
summary: ellie knew there were lines she wasn’t supposed to cross. but the way you blushed when she called you ‘babygirl’ made her want to toe every single one.
contains/warnings: college!au, you have a brother named harold, subtle but unspecific mention of trauma, suggestive towards the end
word count: 2.3k
author's yap notes: sue me i loved the k-drama kingdom bye. and yes here i am again with ellie williams IDK guys she's just hot and inspires me to write i just Have to take advantage of this. i'd write about my kpop boys but ,, i'm very wlw-coded the bisexual in me is not bisexualing.
would like to give credits for the dividers i think they're gna be permanent lmao: © saradika, magnusthemes here in tumblr!
'god, i'm such a kid,' ellie thought to herself as she fixed the crinkle in her flannel shirt. as usual, she felt a bit conscious of her appearance whenever she went to the house of her bandmate to practice for their upcoming gigs.
with one heavy breath, she brought her hands up and knocked gently on the door. it was really unlike her– she could care less about stupid harold's door, but she didn't.
once it opened to reveal his younger sister, all thoughts were wiped clean from her mind. suddenly, you were all she could think about, from how cute you looked in your pajamas, to how those fuzzy house slippers fit your soft and caring personality.
"hi, ellie," you greeted sweetly, and god, could she just melt right then and there. she wouldn't mind going to harold's every weekend if she could always have this kind of welcome.
"hey, doll," she greeted back, ruffling your already bad bedhair, earning a whine from you. "harry there?"
you nodded and let her in, immediately going in for a hug. if it were anyone else, she would've punched the living lights out of them for invading her personal space, but this was you. you could cozy up to her as much as you (and she) wanted.
"you should go down now, he'll be there in a bit, just changing clothes."
she put an arm around your shoulders and leaned her head onto yours. "i can spare a few minutes for my favorite girl."
"and if you don't take your arms off her, i'll spare a few minutes to body slam you on the ground."
ellie raised her hands and chuckled at your overprotective brother, who was rushing down and suddenly pushing her to the direction of the basement and away from you.
"call you later, princess!" ellie hollered playfully, getting a 'sure thing, baby!' in return, much to your brother's annoyance.
harry started with his usual monologue whenever he caught her flirting with you, be it in their home or school. he always went on about how you were his most precious baby sister who deserved everything nice the world could offer, and that you were off-limits until you graduated because your family only wanted the best for your future. he even said his parents could throw him in a ditch somewhere if it meant you achieved your dreams.
ellie raised an eyebrow at him, feeling that she was never going to completely get used to this kind of brotherly side of harold. she inched away from him and went to her spot, saying, "chill out, dude. one more sentence, and i'm gonna think you have a sis complex or something.."
harry's jaw dropped in disbelief. "how dare you, ellie," he whined, throwing an empty can of soda at her, to which she just laughed. he scoffed then turned serious, "you all know how she got to where she is now, right? i just wanna make sure..."
"yeah, totally, i get you, har," she cut him off, not wanting to make him explain any more. she knows it was hard to talk about the traumatic event his sister went through and his family had to overcome together.
"ellie's just being ellie, but you know we all care about y/n. don't worry, har," emma quipped from the corner as she was fine tuning her own instrument.
"yeah relax," she told him, "i'm just happy to be around her. i like the influence she has on me. i'd take care of her the way i want to, but i won't cross the line without your go signal, harry." she showed him a thumbs up, which he returned.
harold smiled and thanked his bandmates, and ellie couldn't help but feel warm. she had a found another family in them, and she was beyond grateful. not many people her age have the bonds that their little band shared with one another. she was thankful that some people actually accepted her for who she was and treated her the same way they would treat their own close family members. joel was the only one she had at first, but because of them, her world expanded and became even better.
with that, she decided to let the matter go first and stop giving their poor leader a headache. her feelings for his most precious sister could be dealt with some other time, preferrable when everyone's less stressed about it.
"ellie?" you answered the door in surprise, looking at your friend with curious eyes. "what are you doing here?"
ellie cocked her head to the side in confusion. "practice, doll. what do you mean?"
you stepped aside and opened the door, letting her in that morning. she ruffled your hair as always and went in, plopping down on one of the chairs in the living room comfortably. it was her second home after all-- no one would contest that.
"i know, but didn't you get harry's text?" ellie's eyebrows furrowed, bringing her cellphone out to check. "he said practice would start later evening. he and lance had to rush to uni for a report," you told her, sitting on the other couch near her seat.
ellie scrolled through her messages and didn't see a notification, which was odd because harry never missed messaging reminders, especially if they were about their schedules. he respected their time way too much to do that. it must've been a mistake-- that, or he was messing with her, waking her up that early for no reason.
she mumbled a few profanities, swearing to get back at him, before putting her phone aside and slouching on the chair. "well, i guess i'll spend the day here. got nothin' else to do anyway," she said, folding her arms behind her head, hoping your eyes would at least linger a bit on her body. and they do.
she smirked a little when you abruptly looked away and turned the television on, showing Kingdom on the streaming app. "mi casa su casa, els."
els. she was only ever gonna like that nickname if you say it.
"have you eaten, babygirl?" she stood up, scrutinizing your face for any indication that you were affected by the pet name. she did a little fist pump in her mind when she saw the blush on your cheeks deepen in a redder shade. "can i cook for us?"
you cleared your throat and waved your hand, pretending to be nonchalant. "our kitchen is your kitchen. and you know what i like already, so pleasee," you spoke, lying down on the couch without looking at her.
ellie smiled dipped down, coming face to face with you and your adorable blush. "me, right?"
she laughed when you pushed her face away, complaining that the two of you were too close and she should go ahead and cook because she was starving. ellie affirmed and let her know their food would be ready in several minutes, obliging her princess who doesn't know she's her princess yet.
she got in the kitchen, cleaned her hand and the cooking wares she was going to use, and decided to just go for a typical omelette with bacon and sausages. kid ellie would always say that she would be caught dead first before ever cooking for a man, and she made sense because the only person she would cook for was her girlfriend who wasn't her girlfriend yet.
when the meal was almost done, she peeked inside and saw that you already set up your dining table for the two of you, meaning there really was no one around.
"y/n, babe, food's done," ellie called, and you were there to assist her in no time, preparing all the food in their respective plates. you two brought it over the table, and immediately chowed down on the food as if you weren't being fed by your parents and brother.
ellie looked at you fondly as you chewed on your food carefully, wanting to avoid any incident that might humiliate you somehow. she was just glad you were eating comfortably compared to back then when it was harder. she would cook and cook for eternity if it meant you would have the smile you had on yours face right now forever as well.
"love your cooking," you said in-between bites, scarfing down your food.
"careful. harry or your mom might hear and cry," she joked before eating her food herself.
you chuckled and placed your utensils down once you finished everything. it surprised ellie a bit, but it made her happy more than anything else. she was just waiting for you to wife her up.
"el," you called, looking down at your lap.
she stopped eating for a while, and took your hand, worried at the sudden change of mood. you seemed anxious, playing with your fingers like that again. ellie ran her thumb over your knuckles, asking, "what's wrong?"
you pursed your lips before shaking your head. "nothing. maybe we can talk about it later."
"sure, let me just finish this quick."
"no, take your time," you insisted, giving her a small smile which tugged at her heartstrings, as cheesy as that sounded. "meet me in my room when you're done, okay? don't rush, and just leave the plates there. i'll clean them up later."
ellie nodded in agreement and watched you go up to the second floor and disappear into your bedroom before going back to eating. it made her anxious too, wondering if harold told you anything about yesterday and asked you to stay away from her. that was why even if you told her not to rush her breakfast, she still did, being unable to take the suspense.
she left the dining room and quickly raced up the stairs, turning to the right at the top to go to your familiar bedroom. she knocked twice then went in, and saw you sitting by your bed and looking out the open window.
ellie's eyebrow's bunched up in worry, taking the seat next to you and holding your hand gently to let you know she was there no matter what. you turned to look at her and sent her a small 'hi.'
"hi, doll, what's wrong?" she asked, cutting to the main point.
you smiled a little. "it's nothing. i've just been deep in thought."
the girl frowned and brought your head onto her shoulder. "it's not nothing if it's making you think that deeply. c'mon, you can tell me. is anything hurting?" she asked, running her fingers through your hair.
"i- i'm scared of asking you," you admitted, looking down to avoid her gaze.
she decided not to force eye contact yet. "about what? i promise i'll respond gently. when have i not been gentle with you, doll?"
thankfully, you were the one to look up at her first, and she gave you a reassuring smile. "c'mon, n/n. it's just me, no need to be scared."
panic settled in once she had seen the tears pooling in your eyes. she asked what was wrong again frantically, bringing your face into the crook of her neck to allow you to cry to her. you let out a few sobs until you started fully crying, and then you managed to calm down. ellie was not good at comforting, so she was kind of relieved you were the type who didn't need many words to feel someone was there trying to make you feel better.
"c'mon, babe, what's wrong?" ellie coaxed, wiping the tears off your face.
"that's what's wrong.." you murmured, looking down.
her mouth hung slightly open, truthfully not understanding what you meant. you sighed and grabbed a pillow, hugging it close to you.
"you call me 'babe' or 'babygirl' and i give stupid romantic meanings to them and i just... what if you'll actually never see me as someone's and your little sister? i'm gonna be stuck with these feelings on my own, and i won't get over you, and i don't even know..." you said quickly, as if this was the only time you had let these thoughts out into the world.
ellie, on the other hand, couldn't be any more overjoyed than she was at the moment, but she had to keep her calm first because you were emotional, and she didn't want to overwhelm you much more than you already were.
instead, she grabbed one of your hands, and her other went to cup your face gently so that you two could look at each other deeply. she let out a little chuckle before speaking, "i have never looked at you as just a little sister. if you just knew how head over heels i was for you the moment harry introduced us," she said with a large grin. "i've got to be insane if i don't see you as a woman i wanna be with."
your lower lips trembled. "really?"
ellie laughed and stood up, gathering you in her hold and spinning you around, garnering laughter from you as well.
"yes, really! you're the only i would ever let in my personal space, clueless girl!"
the girl fell on your bed with you on top of her, and she smiled lovingly up at you, giving you a quick peck on the lips. "i've always wanted to do that."
to her surprise, you brought your lips together, kissing each other to make up for the years that the two of you could only hug and smile at each other. ellie sat up and flipped the two of you so that you would be underneath her, caged in her arms. she let go of your lips and went down to your neck, trailing downwards.
the two of you could feel your breaths become deeper, with your eyes darkening with need.
"you hungry?" you asked with a small voice.
ellie smirked. "famished."
oh well, harry's blessing was mattered less now that you made the first move.
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Angst Villain x civilian where the villain cheats on civilian with hero
“If it is of any comfort, it didn’t mean that much to me." The villain cocked their head, as if they were thinking about something intensively - which they weren't. They looked at the civilian, but failed to conjure any pity.
Their partner, well, probably ex-partner now, looked at them with wide eyes and tears rolling down their cheeks.
"I-" The civilian's hands were shaking, their face contorted in pain. "What did I- what did I do wrong?"
Their voice was shaking.
"Nothing."
"I..." The civilian took in a deep breath. "Oh god..."
They gasped for air desperately but the villain couldn't help but think about the hero in their bed, moaning lovingly. It was true that the civilian hadn't done anything wrong. They were quite good company to keep around. They were tidy (which was very important to the villain), they were nice, avoided conflict, didn't ask too many questions. The perfect kind of person to keep around, someone who wasn't getting involved in the villain's business.
But when it came to pure desire, the hero was simply more tempting. It was about power.
The civilian wasn't a challenge in bed.
The hero on the other hand...
"Oh god...I can't-" The civilian gasped for air over and over again, coming very close to mimicking a panic attack.
"I can move out if you want, or you do. Whatever you like."
"I wanted to marry you, I - I love you, I..." The villain raised a lazy brow.
"We can still get married if you want to, but I'd like to screw the hero every now and then," the villain said. The civilian turned away, but the villain could obviously tell that they were crying harder now. They would have never brought this up, but unfortunately, the villain had gotten a bit lazy and the civilian had found out about the affair.
It wasn't the end of the world, but the villain had planned to keep the civilian around for a little longer. More than once, they had thought about proposing to the civilian out of pure necessity, but the amount of work linked to that, had spoiled the idea quickly.
"You don't have to decide now," the villain clarified. "It's an option, that's all."
The civilian's back was still turned towards them.
"I had so many plans for us," they whispered, almost mumbled the words. "What did I do wrong, why are you doing this to me...?"
The villain rolled their eyes.
"Like I said, it didn't mean that much to me. They're attractive. They showed up at my work. We fucked on the desk and started to meet regularly." A lot of lies. Technically, they had been flirting with each other for the last year. "Work" meant their usual nightly activities. The thing with the desk was true, though.
The civilian turned around, eyes bloodshot.
"Did they force you? Because they're the hero?" The villain pursed their lips. Interesting. It was probably pretty easy to turn themselves into a victim in this situation (the civilian was by no means rational right now), but they had already admitted that they wanted to meet the hero in the future, so keeping up with that lie was going to be exhausting.
"No," the villain said. "Their ass just looked great that night."
"I don't understand, I thought you loved me?! We've been together for three years..." The civilian wiped away their tears but new tears followed and followed.
"...I like your company, yes."
"That's it?"
Once again, the villain cocked their head, staring at the civilian.
"Come on. A hero. The hero. Who can say no to that? It's a sexual thing. Has absolutely nothing to do with you. You're great." They shrugged. "Stay here. Get some sleep. We can talk about the rest tomorrow."
The civilian stood there, didn't dare to move.
"My love, you must be exhausted."
The civilian took in a deep breath. They nodded.
"There we go," the villain said softly. "You look lovely right now, by the way."
It wasn't that the villain liked being cruel - they just couldn't help it.
#absolutely SMASH the like button to punch this villain in the throat#writing snippet#heroxvillain snippet#heroxvillain prompt#heroes and villains#hero#villain#heroxvillain#hero x villain#request#an answer for an ask#villain x civilian#angst
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What do you mean (from your latest post) that you think that many actual play failures are failures of ambition?
Usually, when an actual play show doesn't click for me, it's because the GM or players aimed very high or tried to push the boundaries (of the medium or system) and it didn't quite land right. It's a pretty new medium, and while I've been very openly disparaging of how much many writers in the AP space focus overmuch on novelty over consistent quality, I do think these failures are important! I think it's good to play with what the medium can be! I just think that sometimes, it does indeed fail.
Examples off the top of my head:
Too much plot for allotted length: EXU Prime was fun to watch but I think this plot really needed to be a 16-20 episode season, not an 8 episode one, which meant that we never really learned Myr'atta's motivation or the deal with Ted until years later in the real world despite that being the core plot. Similar issues have come up with various D20 seasons; I think running a one- or two- session story isn't too hard to do, or running a longform campaign isn't too hard to do, but 8 or 10 or 20 episodes can be really difficult to plan for properly, and a lot of people overfill.
Trying to bend the system too far: I wrote a long-ass post I cannot find about this for a few D20 seasons as well (notably Neverafter) and I've fallen off of WBN for a few reasons but in part because it really increasingly feels like D&D is the wrong system - the classes of D&D support the worldbuilding, but the pace and style and magic system of D&D increasingly feel like they and the narrative are in conflict.
Trying to fit in An Important Message: the infamous Rusty Quill Gaming Everything Changes [now make a monumental decision we have not once explored in 7 real world years of telling this story, in the last half of the last episode] is a big one here. This is not unique to AP (this is why Battlestar Galactica's ending is widely panned) but I think the nature of actual play makes it more likely because to some extent you as the GM must relinquish a good degree of control.
Not realizing what you need to plan for: ultimately, in my opinion, the failure of Campaign 3. I don't think the problem is that Matt wanted to bring everything together across multiple campaigns; I don't think this is a cheap setup with a pre-determined outcome (though I could be proven wrong); I think the problem is that there needed to be a much more stringent character creation process and on-rails early plot to actually get from point A to point B in a way that felt natural within the story.
Trying to break production value records while neglecting story: With the caveat that I hated nearly every second of the hour of Kollok I watched, I have yet to see a review that talks about anything it does other than how good the production values are (*whisper* they're not even that good). Burrow's End had some really good aesthetic/filming choices and some really not good ones on top of having a story I found weak; the season of Candela Obscura I thought had the strongest story had no split-screen film edits. This could just be that my AP introduction was TAZ Balance followed by simultaneous C1 and early C2, but like...I've heard incredible actual play with no music and no fancy lighting and no sound effects and no official character art, and I've watched some heavily produced stuff that had the plot of a fucking Ed Wood movie and was utterly joyless to boot. Story first; accessibility production values (clean and clear sound, transcripts, making all speakers visible if you're a filmed production) second; anything else should ONLY come after that.
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Witcher a/b/o ramblings~~~
Geralt keeping the secret that he is an omega and not knowing that Jaskier is an alpha. Even though Geralt is using suppressants, he can still feel something very lightly bubbling away like he's near his heat and it's making him a bit clumsy. This in turn is making Jaskier feel super protective and he's absolutely oblivious about it until Jaskier accidentally uses alpha voice when they are traveling one day, trying to save Geralt from tripping over a large rock 🤭 Geralt's knees buckle and he maybe whines a little because sure why not, let the man whine, he's an angel hahah 😂 and they both pretend they didn't just experience that together - but how long can they keep that up....
I like to think of Jaskier slowly peppering in little dominant alpha protective things for weeeeeekkkksssss testing the waters and Geralt nervously leaning into it, wanting to be looked after but terrified that he's not allowed to indulge because witchers shouldn't need looking after, they're meant to be the protectors ...
👀🤭
Oh yessss pls!
alpha voice is such a good concept if you do it right and I can totally see the two of them slowly getting into it like-
Jaskier giving Geralt his half-eaten dinner because he's full and he knows witchers have such a high metabolism, Geralt wants to refuse because he doesn't need babying, he can make his own damn decisions and- "Eat." oh. oh okay, maybe just a bit? 🙁 if Jaskier thinks it's important enough to use his voice then maybe he should eat?
one day Geralt gets incredibly overwhelmed (sensory overload or maybe task overload) and Jaskier wants nothing more than to soothe his poor hurting omega but he's so stubborn! so after hours and hours of Geralt not getting better because he doesn't want to accept the fact that he's not doing great, Jaskier finally snaps "For fucks sake. Listen to me!" and Geralt's head snaps around and he's staring at Jaskier wide eyed and confused and he whines because he has no idea what to do and so Jaskier gentles him out of his panic with so many soft words
and maybe someone is talking shit about Jaskier and Geralt starts growling, ready to punch that damned motherfucker who dared to- "Geralt, stop." and he freezes, looks at Jaskier wide eyed because what does he mean? isn't he allowed to fend for his alpha's honor? doesn't Jaskier want Geralt to protect him anymore? 🥺
but it turns our that "No, sweet thing, I just don't want you to hurt yourself on my account. You're so precious to me."
and Jaskier tries to talk about it with Geralt but Geralt is absolutely not up for that! (feelings? no, never heard of them) until one day, he hisses at Jaskier, that he doesn't need to talk about this because he trusts Jaskier. trusts him to never use his voice against Geralt like others might and Jaskier has his oh. oh. moment.
and then one day, Jaskier asks Geralt to kneel. And oh he kneels so prettily. and it's like something between them just clicks into place
#also feel free to turn this into a fic and tag me#because 👀👀#the witcher#artistsfuneral about the witcher#geraskier#a/b/o#ask answered#thank you hehe
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Memory of a Quest
A @livesworthlivingau Side Story
Isabeau didn't know what to do with his hands. He'd never been in this situation before.
Siffrin had invited him out to visit a shop, on a 'secret mission'. He was confused, of course - this was something he did with Odile, not with Isabeau! But it had snapped into sense when he mentioned that he'd promised it during the loops. It was his therapist's idea…Get closure on the things he'd said to do during the loops, and it should help him put them to rest.
Why he'd promised to take Isabeau out antiquing was beyond him, but anything for Sif, right?
So there he was, standing in an antique store and trying to figure out how much he was allowed to touch. Not that there was too much interesting…A few familytales, some knick-knacks from people who'd moved on or passed on, things like that. It seemed important to Sif, though, and that's what Isabeau decided to focus on.
Siffrin didn't…have much of a past, he'd come to realize. He'd thought that it was just that he'd Changed! People do that, leaving their pasts behind, trying to pretend they don't exist, and Isa was nothing if not considerate. The truth was way more troublesome…There wasn't just a bad past behind Sif, or a past that belonged to someone he wasn't anymore, but nothing at all. Like if he let down his walls, instead of a bustling city, there was dry desert.
Well, the group had decided (but Isabeau especially), if there was nothing there, he'd water the crops and build the city with his own hands. He'd erect a town as great as the bustling Jouvente he left. Bigger even! With a nice number of bakeries full of memories of good food, and maybe a few Houses of Change…This metaphor was getting away from him.
So there Isabeau stood, surrounded by history that meant nothing to him, watching the love of his life go through each thing, turning it over in fascination.
"What're ya looking for, anyway?" Isa finally decided to ask, startling Siffrin from holding a small glass frog. "If I knew, maybe I could help?"
Sif turned to look at him, and the look of uncertainty hit him hard, despite his best efforts. "I…Don't know." Sif admitted, and Isa put the pieces together just a moment before Sif continued. "Something I remember, I guess. Something from back home."
Isabeau nodded, keeping his smile broad and warm, and ruffling Sif's hair. Thankfully, Mira had managed to teach him how to take care of it, so it wasn't as greasy as it once was…The first few times he'd done that, shortly after leaving Dormont, had not been a great feeling! Luckily, Isabeau knew how to keep things like that hidden (never show them let them think you're fine and dumb and-).
"So, stuff with stars? Or…The Universe?" Isabeau tried to think of anything else that could be a clue, that he could home in on. "Or…It was an island, maybe stuff with boats?" He asked it innocently, but the way Sif was looking at him made him pause.
"You…Remember all that? Now?" Siffrin had gone from curious to shocked, to almost crying, in seconds. Oh Change, what did that mean?!
"Well of course I do!" Isabeau tried. "They're important to you, aren't they?"
OOF!
A small, Sif-shaped missile impacted his chest, and Sif was hugging him and sniffling, looking up. This was important to the little rogue, huh? He tried reaching a hand around, to rub his back through the smooth cloak Sif always wore.
"Of course I remember. Why wouldn't I? They're things you care about. It'd be like not remembering Odile likes books, or Bon likes pineapple." You give a small laugh, your words quiet in the store whose customers all had their eyes turned to you now.
"I…I just, you never remembered before. Not when I didn't…"
"Do it perfectly?" Isabeau gave a sigh. Not for the first time, he wished he could've explained himself sooner. "Sif, just because that's when you learned that I knew, doesn't mean it's the only time I knew. I've cared about you for…For so very long. And if you can't remember it, I'll do my best to remember it for you."
Isabeau wasn't sure that was the right thing to say. Sif buried his head again, but the squeezing of arms around him made him oof, and he rubbed all the harder in return. "All of us will, Sif. Now…Shouldn't we be looking around?" Change, save him from the stares of random passersby…
Change was listening, or at least Siffrin decided to return to his search. He wiped his eyes, and Isa patted his back as he watched the puffiness of them, the darker shades that were a sure sign he'd been crying. "Right…" Sif managed, his voice wavering. "The Quest."
Isa allowed himself a little laugh at that description. The quest? That's really how they were thinking about this, still? Well…Nothing wrong in helping him. "Yes, we must quest forth for the mighty secrets of old." He allowed a nod, as though it wasn't the most ridiculous thing he'd said in quite some time.
Siffrin felt like an idiot. This was nothing new, but it'd been happening less recently? So it didn't feel great.
Of course Isabeau wouldn't know what to look for out on a secret quest! Of course this would make the whole thing awkward! And of course he'd wound up having to be comforted, again, when everything went wrong, again.
Thankfully, as Doctor Jinn had put it, he's got the same chance as everyone else to make it right. And Isabeau had remembered! He'd actually remembered, even though they hadn't gone stargazing! Or anything!
…Why hadn't they gone stargazing yet? They needed to remember to fix that later.
For now, though, they managed to focus on other things. Like the antiques around them. They had to admit, this had always fascinated them. Every single one of them, every item in the shop, with a history longer than Siffrin could imagine. He picked up a notebook with a hand symbol on it, and took a moment to try to imagine just how many other generations had held the same thing they're holding. Who wrote you? They thought it to themself as they stared, not really taking in the book in front of them. How many people read from you, how many lives did you change? What story were they holding in their hands right now, without knowing any of it?
They put it down with significantly more reverence than they'd picked it up, then jumped at Isabeau's voice. Stars, they'd gotten so lost in their own head again!
"Hey Sif, Stars are a thing from…Your country, right?" A part of them curled up at the way that Isa had to talk around the name of their home, but a much more interested part perked up.
"Yeah, why? What did you find?" They started towards the aisle that Isabeau was down, and then paused dead in their tracks.
"Well, this hat has all kinds of stars on the inside, see?"
It couldn't be.
That hat.
That. Hat.
That hat that saved them. That hat they'd last seen in the House. That hat that blew away on the wind. That hat that was their only upgrade, their only proof of getting somewhere for themself, their only proof of-!
"Woah! Okay, maybe stars aren't so good on hats? What, is it like, it's making a fake sky or something and that's not supposed to happen?" Isa went to put the hat back down, and they all but lunged forward. "NO!"
"No no no, I'm sorry, it's just, it's important, it's a big thing, I'm sorry, please let me have it, I'll pay you back, any amount you want, anything, please!"
They were babbling, but they couldn't seem to stop. That Hat. The memory of an orrery, of a tale they could only remember in their blankest moments, the memory of how they'd fought their way through. Of their darkest hours, too. But…It had been there.
"Woah woah woah! That's…Okay, star hats are good, got it! I'll tell you what…You tell me what's so important about this hat, and I'll pay for it entirely. Otherwise, it's a loan, you get it?"
Isa's voice had a laugh in it that Siffrin clung to as a lifeline. They slowly pulled themself back into place, like a sailor climbing back aboard after falling off their ship. They were here, not there. They didn't have it. They barely had their dagger. They didn't…need something, that armoured them, that saved them like it did. But at the same time…
"Alright, but it's…Loop stuff, not Island stuff. So…After we get out of here, okay?"
"Alright!" A heavy hand deposited it onto Siffrin's head, and they had the decency to blush about it, even if they did press up into the hand (not at all like a cat don't ask questions) and smile. "And if that's a Loop thing, you don't have to even tell me about it. I've never seen loop stuff make you that happy. Or…I guess, make you smile, a little? Either way, it's nice to know they weren't all bad! Even when you weren't trying your hardest."
Siffrin paused at that phrasing, and then gave a nod. The hat was theirs. It reminded them, the way it cut off their vision. It kept their eyes forward, and down. Above was only the same stars they always knew…They wondered if that was how everyone else saw the world all the time? But, Isabeau was turning, and starting to look around.
"Rusted garden shears…" Siffrin's wince was missed, thankfully. "A weird needle-pointed sword, some shades, I wonder what all this is about?" The thought made you step up, and look at what Isabeau had found. That was right…It looked like all the equipment you never found, in that last fateful loop, had somehow wound up here. Minus the fish book…Itchy-ology? Icky-ology? Something like that. The fish book, the earrings, and it looked like Bonbon's 'weapons' weren't there either. But the rest of it, all gathered up in one place, like someone'd put it there on purpose.
The world tilted under you.
It wasn't the first time you'd felt that, and you gripped your hands into fists. You were here. You were now. Gravity still worked. Breathing still worked. Don't get lost, Siffrin! Don't lose it, Siffrin! Bob your knees, feel the way the world feels under your feet. Close your eyes, then open them again, and look at things fresh, without the tilt your brain put on it. The tilt wasn't real.
It felt real.
It felt more real than the world around you. You reached out, and touched the sword's hilt, before jerking your hand back like you were burned. Was it going to vanish, now that you've seen it? Would…could…the universe still reset itself? Did you still have its eye? No. The sword was still there, just like the rest, just like the hat on your head, just like all of it.
Isa said something. You couldn't hear what. The words pulsed in your ears, your head throbbing at the tempo of the sounds, but you didn't understand them. Sorry, Siffrin's not here right now, can I take a message? You laughed, and even in your own throbbing ears it sounded like half a sob.
You were hugged! You were held! Hands were around you!
You jumped at the feeling, but it did ground you. The feeling pushed you back into your body like a puzzle piece slotted into place, and whoever held you turned you away from those…items. Dishware, it turned out, was on the other side. Dishes and cups, ancient and cracked, dusty even here.
"You back, Sif?" Isabeau. Isa. He's here. He's holding you. He's…Holding you. You could feel the way every little shift of your breath made sensation flare over your body, the slightest motion pulling and pushing your skin in ways you aren't anticipating, and you shiver. You can't pull away…You can't. You can't tell him this isn't what you want. You have to stay here. You aren't sure why that's what your mind latched onto, but it was true. You wanted to stay there in his arms, even if the back of your brain was screaming about the way it felt.
Stay there. Breathe. Worry later. Breathe. Respond.
"I'm back. But…I think we need to go." You managed, at your breathiest.
"Okay…Do you want to go alone, or should I stay with you?"
Considerate Isabeau. Always at your side, as long as you'll let him be.
"Stay. I'll follow you…we still need to pay for the hat. And, I'm sorry, Isa. About…"
"Don't worry about it!" He cut you off, which was good because you didn't have the words to continue that thought. "I wasn't sure what we were looking for, but it sure wasn't that! We can finish up our secret quest some other day."
You smiled. You'd have to explain yourself later, but…For now, Isabeau was there. Your rock. Your personal Savior.
You were glad to have him.
+++
"Just a collection of…items?" Odile asked, and all you could do was nod.
"Some shears, a hat, a sword, a bow…Just things you'd find in any store. You're sure you don't know?"
"Not at all. He's never done that before."
Siffrin had vanished off to your shared room when you returned, clutching the hat tight to his chest. You promised you'd give him space, and you'd ask before you came in, but in the meantime you felt like you had to solve this mystery. If it hurt Siffrin, you want to know about it, and stop it! Whether he believed it or not!
But this…
"It hit him hard. Almost as hard as that time Mira woke him up from his nap." You didn't think anything would compare to that day. "And he was alright when he wasn't looking at them, like Jinn said. I'm glad I didn't let him go alone."
"You said he found a hat? That he thought he should wear? A sword, like Mirabelle has…and a bow, like she wears. Glasses like mine…" Odile took a moment to adjust her glasses. "I believe I'll be going shopping, Isabeau. If you think you can help him alone?"
You gave a nod, trying not to think about what Odile was saying. You didn't see any gloves there, and with a clench of your hands you felt your crystal knuckles at the ready. Whatever was happening, you couldn't help but wonder how you were excluded from it. As much as you tried not to.
Instead of dwelling on that, you walked upstairs and knocked on the door to your shared room, waiting for the faint sound of 'come in'. Thank Change, it wasn't too long in coming.
Siffrin was staring at his hat when you came in, curled with his knees up near his chin on the bed and facing towards the door. One finger had been tracing the lines on the inside of it, and rested there as you walked in and gently shut the door.
"Want to talk about it?" You asked, hoping against hope.
"No."
"That's a shame." You walked over to the bed, and sat down, watching them. It was a practiced motion, and you both knew what it meant. You saw Siffrin set the hat down, saw him order his words, and saw him decide to speak - and made sure he saw the thankful smile that came from that decision.
"They were from the House. Each one of them was…a piece of the story that never happened. Something else that I left behind." Left behind was good! You liked left behind! It was a lot better than 'crabbed up' or 'completely blinded' or anything else they'd called it! "When I saw them, I…I just remembered. Everything I'd been forgetting. Everything I didn't get to do. Everything I tried to go back and do." You liked that less, but…the phrasing wasn't bad, at least. "I don't know how they got here, but it was like they were tracking me down, to find me again."
"Would you…like new memories with them?" Another one of the doctor's suggestions. "Or do you want to put those behind you? We don't have to go back, but now that you remember…wouldn't it be nice to prove this time was better than anything you left behind?"
"Yeah…Thanks, Isa." They reached a hand out, and you smiled brightly. Another concession, another suggestion, and you took his hand and used your thumb to slide the glove up the back of it, before planting a gentle kiss on the back of it.
Not! That you did that every time! But, every time he opened up, you wanted to give him something. And showing him how you loved him? You'd do that whenever he let you. This was a good chance.
From the smile in their eyes, they agreed.
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Even more marauders era headcanons/fun facts from my au for them (some are really out of context)
There are 4 small clown dolls in the Gryffindor common room that are moved around daily solely to scare James
Remus had a buzz cut in 1st year and will pretend he doesn't know what your talking about if you bring it up
Regulus never really came out about being trans, he just kinda showed up one year as a boy and everyone was too scared of the Black family to question it
This then led to rumors that Regulus pre-transition was a different family member who was kicked out
That led to Sirius (somehow) managing to convince the entire Hogwarts population that Regulus was always there, and that his younger sister was a mass hallucination/Mandela effect
Every 'conversation' between Peter and Remus makes it seem like they don't even like each other, they're each other's favorites
James and Remus can't sit through horror movies without at least a little tears of fear
James is a childhood friend to like a fourth of Hogwarts
Barty never pulls a prank that is completely safe, a chance of death is essential
Concealing charms don't work on animingus forms, so Sirius had to come up with a bullshit excuse as to why his dog form is half white
Peter and Remus were cheerleaders in 3rd year after James and Sirius dared them to. This dare only happened bc they refused to play quidditch
Dorcas managed to hide her and Marlene's relationship for 8 months, solely bc of how unobservant her friends are
Mary was a theater kid and will cry if you bring it up
Sirius knew about jegulus before they even got together, but it took them months to actually tell him bc Sirius had a habit of pretending he was bothered by the idea and they thought he was being genuine
Narcissa has star based nicknames for everyone in her family
Sirius took up calling Narcissa Polaris so she wouldn't feel left out bc she's the only one without a star name
No one actually knows why Narcissa wasn't given a star name, not even the rest of the Black family
Barty likes to pretend the fact that both of his 'crushes' (Evan being his boyfriend) being blonde with blue eyes says nothing about his type
Peter can't tell the difference between when someone is genuinely flirting with him or making fun of him, rosekiller's aggressive flirting doesn't help
Sirius is weirdly into origami
Lucius and Narcissa treat Snape like their practice child
Marlene and James 'dated' when they were like 6 bc they thought it meant they got their family's money quicker
Sirius has a sweet tooth, Snape does too and they both hate it because of that
James is, surprisingly, more of an introvert than a extrovert
Sirius knows he's actually a Slytherin and won't wear green because he thinks it'll make it obvious to everyone else, it wouldn't
It's extra devastating because green is definitely his color
Regulus was supposed to be a Gryffindor and everyone can tell
Like he acts like every other Slytherin, he just has a vibe about him
Snape gossips with almost every professor and painting at Hogwarts
There's an incident board in the infirmary dedicated to the marauders
Lily keeps a small bag of cat treats for the strays at Hogwarts
Remus is allergic to pinecones
Peter is Russian and grew up there, but he can't stand the cold
Once again, that is it for now. These are fun to make so there will be more, but alas, I bid my farewells (for now)
Part 1
#marauders era#marlene mckinnon#dorcas meadowes#headcanons#these came to me in a dream#i am unwell#james potter#sirius black#yeah it took one post for the brainrot to come back#severus snape#narcissa black#narcissa malfoy#regulus black#peter pettigrew#remus lupin#wolfstar#jegulus#lily evans#lucius malfoy#dorlene#pandalily#not included in post just wanted to mention them#im bad at tagging#proverbial monkey on typewriter but with tags#im definitely forgetting to tag something but physically cant care enough to check#marauders headcanon
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Shishitoren's Founder: The Silly to Saviour's Serious?
Hey guys, remember when I made that post a while ago about some theories I had about who Umemiya's Saviour is and the kind of person he is and how he'll come back? And how I mentioned he and Shitara know a third person who I have cleverly dubbed the Silly to Saviour's Serious?
We only know three things about this person
They inspired Saviour
They wanted to get stronger by going to Furin
They know Shitara and Saviour due to a Furin connection
So my braincells slammed together and suggested that the Silly to Saviour's Serious guy could in fact be one of Shishitoren's founders or at least one of the main inspirations behind their philosophy. I have no idea if I'm making sense, I'm writing this at 2am and I could be clutching at straws here, but let's roll with it.
Shishitoren's Unclear Origins
Now I bring this up because of the main gangs who have turned up so far, Shishitoren are the only ones with unclear origins.
Umemiya united Furin into Bofurin 2 years ago. KEEL sprung up recently under Endo's funding and then disintegrated. Roppo-Ichiza have been running for a while, protecting the Red Light District and fighting with Furin before Bofurin happened. Gravel sprung up recently out of despiration to provide the impovished people in town with an income. Noroshi are an elite force who left Furin, but have enough connections to muster an army of mooks.
Shishitoren are the only ones we do not know the true origins of. Despite this, we still have a very strong picture of what their philosophy was before Tomiyama and Togame twisted it.
Shishitoren are the Devotees of Power. This means you must persevere, no matter what. You need to push your will through in a fight and never yield to anyone else. You push yourself because strength is the only way you can attain freedom.
The Person Behind The Philosophy
Now, assuming that only one person directly founded Shishitoren and their philosophy, we can then make a few assumptions about this person.
This is a person who has faced immense hardships to get to where they are now, presumably the top of Shishitoren when they created this philosophy.
And given the way Saviour talks about how life won't stop hitting you with tough stuff again and again, I imagine Saviour has had both first hand experience of enduring these difficulties and that Someone Else showed him that there is a way to live through the hardest times.
There's also the fact that strength allows one to become free. While Tomiyama had no idea what this meant, Sakura and Togame do; only those with power are free to be themselves.
Which suggests that Shishitoren's Founder, whoever it was, came from a very restrictive environment that stopped them from being themself.
Then there's the idea of fighting being a means of pushing your will through. I think Shishitoren's Founder understood something that Umemiya taught us near the start of the manga: A fight is a conversation. A fight is a way to push your will through.
Which means that Shishitoren's Founder, if they did come from a restrictive environment, escaped it by becoming strong enough emotionally and physically to push themself through life and let their personality be free.
Potential Connections?
Bringing all these details back to the Silly to Saviour's Serious guy, I think it's very telling that the first main thing we know about this person is that they wanted to get stronger.
Like, on the one hand, of course Silly would be strong if they're on par with Saviour, but that is very much a given in this manga that anyone important to the plot is strong. And most of our other characters who are strong don't get introduced or mentioned with that as their tag line; Suo cracks a joke, Kiryu is chilling with his phone, Umemiya is a airheaded goofball. Why would Nii Satoru focus on Silly's desire to get stronger above anything else?
It's also unclear if Shishitoren, the Devotees of Power, were active when Umemiya was 9. However Saviour does tell us that new teams and gangs sprung up all the time at this stage of Furin's history, so it would make sense if Shishitoren and maybe even Roppo-Ichiza started to find their footing during this period of upheaval.
I think it's also important to note that Hiragi says Tomiyama, who is 17, is the youngest leader in Shishitoren's history who took the top spot some time after Choji's 15th birthday (since he wasn't the leader when he fought Umemiya in his first year). This of course implies that Shishitoren have been around long enough to have multiple leaders and that most of them were not high school aged at this time. Given that Saviour is probably 26 or 27 now, this could mean one of two things:
Shishitoren's Founder is the same age as him, but founded Shishitoren after high school. The latest they could have possibly done this was when they were 24 or 25, but I highly doubt that since they would've been that old when Tomiyama and Umemiya were fighting each other for the first time and Shishitoren seemed to have been better established than the other teams Bofurin had fought before. Though the earliest I would put it at is when Shishitoren's Founder was 20, which again if they're the same age as Saviour, Umemiya and Tomiyama would've been 11. Plenty of time for Shishitoren to get established.
Shishitoren's Founder is older than Saviour and founded Shishitoren after high school. If they are the Silly to Saviour's Serious, then this means they could have played more of a mentor role like the one we see with Hiragi and Kaji, rather than a peer to peer relationship I had initially imagined. Though this makes a lot more sense for how Saviour handled Umemiya's suicidal idealiation if Silly helped Saviour in a mentor role rather than a friendship role. It could also suggest that Silly wasn't loyal to Furin, and potentially neither was Saviour; they just went there to get stronger.
Where is Shishitoren's Founder Now?
Obviously at some point Shishitoren's Founder/Silly to Saviour's Serious and Umemiya's Saviour left Makochi and their respective teams. So where are they now?
Shishitoren's Founder could have left Makochi in search of stronger opponants, or to enjoy that freedom they fought so hard to gain in the first place. I don't think they're still in Makochi since they would have stepped in if they found out that Shishitoren had rotted from the inside out. OR maybe they are still in Makochi but they either no longer care about Shishitoren itself or they don't care about being strong anymore. Either one is possible, though I think them not being in Makochi is much more likely.
I think they may end up returning if Shishitoren have another trouble arc. Not one where Tomiyama or Togame have fallen on the wrong path again, but if Shishitoren are at risk of being destroyed or overwhelmed. After all, changing Shishitoren from the inside after letting it get so bad couldn't have been easy for Tomiyama and Togame. It's possible some former Shishitoren guys saw the return to the old ways as a bad thing and formed their own team to retaliate. We know from flashbacks that Shishitoren often had trouble with a group called Zinc when Tomiyama and Togame were still new to the team, so it's possible Zinc could turn out to be a problem later on if the disgrunted Shishitoren members joined them.
Shishitoren's Founder might just happen to be coming back to Makochi when the fight is about to go down, OR Shishitoren's Founder is the one leading the charge against the current Shishitoren with their own new gang. If that's the case, then this could be Sakura and the other Furin guys' chance to return the help that Shishitoren gave them in the Noroshi arc.
OR if my theories are correct and Shishitoren's Founder is the person that Shitara and Saviour were talking about, I think he and Saviour will show up closer to Umemiya's graduation. That is scheduled to happen in March and we're only in July right now timeline wise, so we have a long way to go before we get there.
If all 3 of them become more relevant during the lead up to Umemiya's graduation, then this means the three could offer different paths for Umemiya to take:
Shitara's Path: Stay in Makochi and care for the local kids as either an orphanage worker or a Furin teacher.
Saviour's Path: Recognise when other people are better equipped at a job and leave them to it.
Founder's Path: Live free of responsibilities and leave Makochi to get stronger from here on out.
Also I bet y'all money that Shishitoren's Founder has birds or lions somewhere in their name. It'd make sense since (at least in the Western world I'm not so sure about Japan) birds are a symbol of freedom. Or maybe Shishitoren's Founder actually has a different kanji for dog in their name, since Sakura called their emblam an ugly dog the first time he saw it.
Who knows, maybe Shishitoren's Founder is related to Inugami.
So yeah that is my 2am frantic thoughts about Shishitoren's past. I'm so looking forward to discovering more about the worldbuilding and what happend to make the town the way it is now.
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That feeling when he can't stand to see you that way, no matter what you do, no matter what you say😩😭💔
#scott pilgrims precious little life#scott pilgrim vs the world#spvtw#spto#scott pilgrim#wallace wells#lisa miller#scollace#kim pine#natalie adams#envy adams#don't rlly know if I like how this turned out but oh well;;;#hope its obvious that this is based on the song “Scott Pilgrim” which the creation the comics were inspired from#the lyrics always make me think of Wallace and Lisa's feelings for Scott every time I hear it#ofc you could also relate it to Kim especially since the singers voice kind of reminds me of her#but overall the lyrics fit these two much better since Scott never truly “saw them that way” despite how long they've liked him#and they always seem happier to see him compared to Kim#Im surprised tho that I havent yet seen anyone draw these two together now that their dialogue parallels have been acknowledged more lately#also tho I wish more people pointed out that they both got cucked by red heads LOL#and Kim and Envy actually do look really similar when scott first meets them#makes me wonder if Scott subconsciously went for Envy since she reminded him of Kim (which would be fitting given that you could argue that#Envy dated Scott because he reminded her of Todd. Since he and Scott are confirmed to be meant to be seen as similar to one another#so much so that even their first and last names rhyme#last thing I'll add tho is that while Wallace and Lisa are very similar even personality wise#the one big difference is that despite that whole conclusion on vol4 of Scott not cheating on Ramona with Lisa because he loves her#the writers apparently think it would be “organically correct” for him to have an affair with wallace LMAO#but I guess we shouldn't be surprised since Wallace and Ramona are both in the front of the official valentines art which is clearly#a deptiction of Scotts wet dream or smth (oh and you could also argue that Wallace and Lisa parallel on that art since they're both#shirtless with white socks.. which could be a reference to how lisa wears skimpy clothes for Scott and Wallace often only wears boxers#to like sexually frustrate Scott for fun or smth
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My Personal Headcanon On Why Amy's Love For Sonic Died Down Lately (and their dynamic)
When they were younger, Amy's love for Sonic was pretty extreme, and Sonic was, understandable, uncomfortable for the most part. He knows she means well, but that girl needs to calm down.
She can fight, but sometimes her hammer could only stun her enemies for a while. (It took her a long time to get rid of that robot that has been chasing her around Station Square.) She wasn't fully independent yet, even if she fought on her own a couple of times.
She often follows Sonic and his friends around. She is part of the team, but she was not a strong as she is now at the time yet.
She admires Sonic. A LOT. And Sonic knows that. Obviously, he could only run away from something like that, since he is NOT ready for that kind of thing, and whether Amy takes the hint or stop, she still loves him.
...BUT, I think things were slightly starting to change between her and Sonic after Lost World.
Remember this line?
You remember that? Okay, okay. Here's another totally unrelated question:
Before the events of Lost World, when was the last time Amy said "I love you" to Sonic out loud?
...YEP. 😈 (Unless I'm missing something, let me know lmao)
As more games and adventures come out, the characters get slightly older, and Amy is 12 to 13 now, and she is most certainly at that age where her body starts to change, but especially on how she views Sonic.
She knows she loves Sonic, but it was this moment during her change where she actually wanted to admit that she loves him.
I believe that Amy was all about sharing her affection to him not through confessions, but through obvious hints. Sonic totally got it, and there was no need to confess. Sonic knows she loves her.
...But she never said it. And she almost did, but she never did again for a while.
I think this was the moment in her life where, oh, God, she actually loves Sonic. SHE LOVES HIM, WHAT.
And she was looking back at all the times she had with Sonic that she can now see were unpleasant to Sonic (At least that's what she thinks) and that's probably why she isn't so expressive about her love to him than how she used to back then.
She wasn't sure what to do with this realization, and sets aside it for a while, and nearly stayed as her casual, peppy self... until the Eggman War happened.
During the 6 months of being with the Resistance, fighting Eggman's army all day and all night, all she can think of was Sonic.
She dreams that he still with not just her, but with her friends. She just wanted to see Sonic again, she just wants to be with her hero again.
But I'd like to think that she was also thinking about how she used to treat Sonic back when they were younger, how Sonic would almost always run away from her whenever she asks him out, or always look so uncomfortable whenever she gets so close to him.
Cringing at those memories big time, she wanted to change and hopefully when Sonic is okay and comes back, she can be better for him.
...Or will he still find her uncomfortable regardless? Would he even be happy to see her at all if he did survive?
But, hold on! She can't just give up her love for Sonic! He made her who she is today! A peppy, nature-loving, hammer-swinging, confident, brave... loud-mouth... annoying... Sonic obsessed... weak... pathetic... lonely little girl.
If she gives up on Sonic, it'll be like she gave up on the one hedgehog who saved her life. If she didn't she'll still be the same ol' Amy.
I also like to think she had parents a long while before she met Sonic, and was even expecting a little sister, but a robot invasion happened from where she was and attacked her parents and instead of trying to save them, after getting hurt, she ran away, hoping that they'll come back okay. But they never did.
She was all alone, and needed someone, a friend, a new family, someone who will hold her hand, anyone, to be there for her. But she was ignored by lots, and at that point, she's better off by herself, but still longed for company.
Eventually though, her tarot cards told her her future hero, and there might be hope after all. She encountered Sonic, held onto the belief of the cards tight, and the rest is history.
So, with that headcanon in mind, not only did Amy loose her parents that she didn't save because of her cowardliness (she was only so little at the time that happened) and also Sonic, who she thought will be her only hope, but now gone.
She doesn't even care if he did come back, he'd probably hate her now after everything she did to him, always talking about their "future wedding" or forcing him to go to Twinkle Park.
For the last few months of the war, it was nothing but Amy mentally beating herself up for either refusing to change or moving on, and they are both not fine choices.
She loves Sonic, but he does not love her, and she finally, finally realized it. And it's probably for the best if no body loved her at all.
But of course Sonic did survive and all of her worries wash away in an instant, she's just not expressive about her love for Sonic AT ALL now, since she's still worried about it but rather not mention it to Sonic because it doesn't matter.
If Sonic doesn't love her, then her feelings don't matter to him, and according to Amy herself, that is okay.
But also, I'd like to think that Sonic was thinking about his friends a lot up in the Death Egg for the past months, sometimes it's Tails (worried for his safety), sometimes it's Shadow (because he's wondering why he would join Eggman.) At some point, for a few days, Amy was in his mind the longest, and he felt bad about how he thought he was rude and pushy to her.
He wondered if she's not thinking about it too much, and if she is, will she give up on him? Yeah, he doesn't feel the same and still not looking for a relationship, but it's so strange but interesting how anyone could ever like someone like Sonic the Hedgehog. Amy was never afraid to show that, and she probably might be now.
He couldn't help but feel guilty. They were kids when she was like this, but he was so... arrogant at the time too. Not a lot happened at the time yet. He'd always have trouble expressing how much he value his friends, until he shattered the Paradox Prism. (I'd like to think Prime took place before Forces. It makes sense.)
She is such a sweet girl, and he probably made her believe that he didn't care for her. Just because he doesn't feel the same, that doesn't mean he hates her at all.
He wished he never ran away from Amy... Worrying for his little bro and wishing to be a good person for Amy was when Sonic cried in the Death Egg for the first and only time.
Frontiers, in my opinion, is kind of confirming their dynamic now. Sonic is a lot more sincere and kinder to Amy and she is not all hyperactive and lovey to Sonic. There is probably a real reason for this now.
They are both hiding their feelings from them, and they are both unaware of this. Amy, hiding her mental issues from Sonic, and Sonic, hiding his guilt away from Amy.
None of those things are important now. Sonic is with Amy and Amy is with Sonic. They are here with each other. They can be finally be better for each other now.
They don't care if they'll ever be something more when they get older. None of that matters anymore. They are here with each other. They can be finally be better for each other now.
Maybe someday they'll both talk about it, but for now, the present is important. They care about each other too much to think about it right now.
It's the kind of love that is unbreakable. It doesn't even have to be romantic. It's just love. Love is important for everyone, in any form. It's something Sonic and his friends need. And especially Sonic and Amy.
Amy Rose is the living embodiment of love, and without her, a lot would go downhill for Sonic and co. Heck, if it weren't for her, Shadow wouldn't have never remembered Maria's promise, which lead him to save the world with Sonic, before he temporarily disappeared from their lives for a while.
She is always there to lend a helping hand for anybody, even bad guys like Metal Sonic, and despite what she had been through, both in Forces and headcanon wise, she still fights back, even without her hammer.
She will pick you back up on your feet, reminding you that you are important and that you are loved, and that you should never give up. It's pretty much the words of encouragement she herself needed also...
She is still the happy, hyper, butt-kicking hedgehog we all know and love, but she still need someone to pick her back up on her feet after so long. Thankfully, she has her friends and her blue hero. The hero who made her who she is today.
I think Amy has no idea how important she thought she is, but Sonic does. Sonic knows fully well how important she is to a lot of people. It's about time he returns the favor to her. It's his turn to remind her how much a lot of people love her.
How much he loves her.
And I feel like The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog was the moment where their dynamic really shined, but also the starting point of their relationship not only healing, but also the next chapter of what's to come for them.
Everyone, friends old and new, gathered around for a special birthday. A birthday for the confident, unshakable, and radiant Amy Rose.
It was such a special moment in Amy's life. After years of chasing and following the people she look up to, she is part of the team, but most importantly, she is part of the family.
She is fully realized as someone more than just a fangirl, but someone strong, courageous, creative, kind and a big inspiration for others.
I feel like this moment here...
-is where Amy is eternally grateful to call her friends her family. A family she thought she'll never have again. She's not alone anymore, and as long as they're by her side, she'll never will be again.
Her chasing days are over. She's finally caught up to them. She's finally home.
And it's all thanks to Sonic.
If it weren't for him, she'd probably be alone forever. Her past moments with Sonic might be embarrassing to look back on for a while, but they are good memories regardless, because they involve him.
Sonic saved her life in more ways than one, and despite everything, he's grateful to have her too.
He cares about her. He really does... And in her eyes, that all she needed to know. As long as Sonic loves her in his own way, she'll be happy.
Amy hasn't given up on Sonic. As long as Amy always supports him, he'll be happy.
Maybe sometime in the future, they can talk about their problems, but that's a story for another time. At this point, they need to. Right now, they are happy. They are okay.
They are here for each other. They are finally better for each other now.
"You guys won't ever leave me, right?"
"Wouldn't dream of it."
#piko rambles#sonic the hedgehog#amy rose#Meant to be platonic but I don't care if you tag as ship lol#I've been meaning to post something like this for the longest time now but never really got into posting it-#-because you guys REALLY hate seeing these two together for some reason.#Well not for SOME reason. There are valid reasons why you don't ship them. Everyone has valid reason why they don't ship this or that.#But sometimes those reasons can just sound so petty to me. Like the reason why is because Amy is a stalker or Sonic hates her which is FALS#Also those age gap arguments are understandable but so goddamn annoying sometimes. Maybe when they hit their late teens or early twenties-#then they can be together if they want to. Besides a good percentage of Sonic ships are better off if they waited til they're old enough im#I love them regardless of whether they're just friends or an awkward older cringe fail couple lmao#But them being just friends and hiding away all their emotions towards each other just to keep them safe and happy with them- 😭😭😭#Son/adow is my favorite ship of all time and sonamy is my favorite childhood ship/platonic ship because they both have one thing in common.#ANGST 😀#I've been thinking about Sonic and Amy's dynamic as of late and MAN-#Mixed with some personal headcanons of mine and their dynamic as of late just makes me so emotional.#Sonic and Amy have gotten so close now and it's so sweet but so heartbreaking at the same time when you think about it.#I'm so happy they are getting along better and being there for each other but there is so much to dissect here. So much to think about.#I might be a little silly but Amy losing her parents and being alone for so long and being the reason why she's always hanging onto Sonic-#-explains SOOOOOOOOO much about her. At least that's my headcanon for WHY that is.#Amy with abandonment issues speaks to me on a personal level. I'm always afraid of being forgotten or left behind by my family.#I sometimes feel like I'm not good enough no matter how hard I try. I do not blame Amy. I relate to her a lot. It's one of the many reasons#-why Amy is my favorite character besides Sonic and Shadow.#She fights hard to prove she's a valuable member of the team and hates getting left behind but despite all that she wasn't afraid to-#-express herself and her love for people. But after the Eggman War there was some changes that made her less expressive about her love.#Yeah she still loves Sonic but she doesn't admit it because none of that matters anymore and she thought that not being loved by Sonic#-is better than being loved since she nearly wasted her life loving someone who she thought has constantly bothered. 🥲#But I think after TMoStH I think she'll be less afraid of being expressive about it. She and Sonic are just so caring for each other 😭#I love these two way too much that when I think about them for too long I'll start SOBBING 😭😭 I'M EVEN SOBBING RIGHT NOW LMAO
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His only deanfense
#gotta be one of my fav episodes I won't lie#why would I lie. I'm right#epidemiology is my all time fave and like ten other eps all fight for my top spots#community#nbc community#community nbc#dean pelton#craig pelton#community textposts#community memes#b4 anyone says like um great episode if it weren't for the jeffannie#i don't think I'm as against jeffannie as most of u guys. NO WAIT HEAR ME OUT. i absolutely do not think they should be together#i think annie is a lesbian and jeff is aro#but i don't hate that it happened in the show like most of the fandom does. i think in a way it made sense for their characters#because if you look at it through the lens of comphet on both their parts. it's still a shitty fucked up thing. but it's one that makessense#i don't think they're meant to be together. i think they're NEVER meant to be together#i think they're two people who only want the fantasy of each other#because it makes them feel like they're performing a version of themselves that the world expects of them#anyways. this post wasn't even about jeff or annie#i deangress#!
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hot take moment cwilbur is literally just psychotic as all hell and i think people got way too comfortable villianizing the shit out of a man who was clearly portraying signs of severe mental illness. cwilbur was like im so fucking paranoid and scared and i think everyone is out to get me and hurt me and ive spiralled to the point i cant reach out to the people closest to me because im so afraid and lost in this spiral and im having constant panic attacks and hurting myself because i dong know what to do with myself and the only way out for me is to die. and everybody was like EVIL MAN WHO ENJOYS HURTING OTHERS AND IS ABUSIVE ON PURPOSE AND A VILLAIN AND SHOULD NEVER BE TRUSTED AGAIN. and then he came back and was like im still deeply troubled and afraid but im desperately trying to make up for the wrongs i did in the past and the people i hurt in my own way and communication is really hard for me but i hope people know that im truely sorry and i love them. im going to try my hardest to fix this in the only way i know how and then respectfully remove myself from the situation because i feel thats the kindest thing i can do to the people ive hurt. and people were like ABUSER ABUSER ABUSER EVIL MAN ABUSER. like girl
Yeah no based true real no questions asked
I'd hope I manage to portray Wilbur the way he deserves in my content, cause that man is heavily bpd coded and he just needs therapy and someone who genuinely loves him but also can handle his bullshit (which has exclusively and reliably been Quackity like, canonically)
But yeah no completely agreed. The man has issues and has definitely fucked up a lot but at the end of the day he really does need love and care and patience, but also boundaries (and therapy and meds, obviously)
#i deeeefinitely have no reason to have strong feelings about bpd bitches deserving love and care and stability ha ha nooo it's definitely-#-not like I've been dating one for well over 4 years now and even though we've been through so much shit together and I still can't-#-understand why people with bpd and conditions that have similar symptoms are so demonised. It just makes no sense to me.#my bf is the love of my life and i can't imagine /not/ supporting it through all the splitting and episodes and all of that cause they're-#-absolutely worth everything#i don't know not to be too gay on main but tbf it's too late now anyway i think--#is it unstable? sure. but it's also the most caring and loving person i've ever been close with and it always makes sure i'm ok#and it loves me so undeniably deeply no matter what purely for who i am#i've never had anyone care about me this much and this genuinely and this unconditionally - it'd always be what /they/ can get out of /me/#but my boyfriend just cares about me - the actual me - no matter if i'm acting how it imagined i'd act. what matters is if i'm /me/#listen bpd isn't sunshine and rainbows - we've been through some TERRIBLE shit (including s-cide attempts)#but when people claim it makes a relationship toxic/abusive it's so stupid cause ultimately with mutual love support and reassurance-#-and professional help you can have a genuinely happy and healthy life with someone with bpd#love isn't mean to be easy. it's meant to be safe and supportive and genuine but a relationship always takes effort and work on both sides#you should never sacrifice your well being of course!#but when love takes effort and extra care it doesn't inherently mean it's unhealthy or toxic or abusive. it just means you're people.#tldr if you love someone then don't care about some diagnosis - care about the actual perso.#ask#asks#ask fern#tntduo#dsmp#tnt duo#wilbur soot#quackity#quackbur#dream smp#tntblr#c!quackbur#c!tntduo
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with all these gaston crackships/rarepairs that are coming out lately it would be so fucking funny if he had a flig with all the main characters (ambar, nina, simon... hell luna too if you want) and they all know it except matteo
#mf would feel so betrayed once he finds out#and not because he's jealous or anything - or maybe yes (they kinda have a vibe between them if you get what i mean)#mainly because his best friend didn't tell him#gaston would 100% use “you didn't ask” with a shit-eating grin while shrugging his shoulder#he would have the time of his life making fun of matteo reaction lol#and matteo would also lowkey be insecure (understandable because gaston was probably a better boyfriend for all those people [real])#[from here on i'm gonna yap but like... YAP - get ready]#type of flings/situationships/whatever i think he had:#LUNA/GASTON : [barely a fling/ a kinda relationship (?)] - them just trying it out for the hell of it#they had a lot of fun and it strengthened their friendship#they never talk about it unless they're sure that they're by themselves#gaston sometimes reminiscences about it in front of others(to make luna panic/embarass)but in such a vague enough way that they don't get i#it always comes off as them play-fighting#it either happened before he and nina got together (which is what i'm running with for this post) or they did it after she left#because they were the closest to her and were the only people that could understand what it meant to lose nina#(luna also dated her in the past by this point)#GASTON/NINA: [literally canon and one of the main ships] so i don't have to explain it i guess#GASTON/SIMON: [was a “they were all in their feelings” during those moments - kind of deal]#that scene i reposted the other day is a good way to pinpoint when they started to actually eye eachothers /put a start to what they had#it ended two or three months later - don't know who put an end to it between them#but it wasn't a problem because they both had something else they wanted to focus on more - they're extremely chill about this#GASTON/AMBAR: [kinda the same - got to know eachother when they were kids and became extremely close (even tho it took A BIT since#even if gaston came from a good family ambar was still as standoffish as now (and also a bit shy even if she wouldn't admit it)]#gaston was the one that did the first step#at that point ambar actually never stopped to think about dating in general but especially him#but the idea of losing him as a friend for something so stupid as a relationship terrified her#he reassured her that whatever happened nothing between them would've changed#which was real but also not really#they ended up breaking up a year and a half later and became a bit awkward around eachothers for a bit (mostly because of ambar)#they're still cordial with eachothers
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so tired of being a shitty bandaid for my parents' loneliness. like have u ever considered you passed your curse to me and some days i feel so lonely it's like i can't breathe around the emptiness in my chest????
#my dad is like#you can't just be in your room all the time then what's the point of you living here if ill be sitting here all alone then#and im like bhai what#mom also says this to me she always wanted to sit and rant and she used to say you never talk to me#both of these people don't even fucking get it that they're not even interested in me listening to me#mom just wants a sounding board for her venting and dad just wants someone to pretend everything is okay and happy all the time and#the only important things in life is the immediate present and food and making money and stuff#i swear this is why i feel so ????? about myself my identity like no i can't describe myself#because there is no myself there is just a white sheet of paper where people can write whatever they want#im so tired man#why can't they just go and live with each other and leave us kids out of it 😭🙏#like i genuinely am getting teary eyed about such a small thing but god. i want to have my own life so bad. im sick of feeling all these#complicated emotions guilt and anger and pity and obligation and duty like just god pls fuck off#people my age are so fucking mature and put together than me so confident so clear about their path#have friends partners breakups parties just so many new memories#and im just stuck.#and im fine with it now because i get it studying is really important and this is quite basic requirement to be perfect at#atleast my syllabus to survive in this industry#but then. let me do that only. please don't make me pretend to like you like spending time with you and everything#ive hated you for like. idk 14 whole years. since the first time you hit mom in front of me#i remember it so well like my childhood broke that day you slammed her into a wall for some stupid fight and her hair was all messy and#untied and you shouted so loud i thought surely everyone can hear. and then you left to roam around the city at night with your friends#i remember this because my mom and my sister sent me to check up on you with the excuse of a painting of a parrot that i had made#i didn't understand anything back then#but yeah fuck you fuck you fuck you for being so fucking delusional thinking i love you or something#ive prayed to god that you die and i still do#it would directly mean 4 people being happy#anyway#dni#this was meant to be fun and short lol fuck
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last minute pre-grandparent-visit room deep cleaning has revealed that within the drawer i tend to assume just has old, off generic birthday cards and theater/concert programs there are also many, many going away cards and letters and things from the last couple of times i moved away. i guess i always thought of it as such a lonely thing, and i talk a lot about how i don't think i made Real friends until recently, and not to get choked up on main or anything but i think maybe i was completely fucking wrong
#Real friends = deep friends and admittedly it's hard to have deep connections with ppl when you're like 10#and also hard to have deep connection with people when you don't understand yourself at all (bc how could you share it?)#but i was so profoundly loved.#and it's not like the bday cards and stuff aren't a part of that they're just so.. obligatory? whereas such cards from friends is. guhhh#like they missed me. maybe they still do at least a little bit. ahhhhhhh#like i was a shithead but i meant something to a lot of good people and so many of these aren't from just one person#they're a bunch of them coming together and bringing along inside jokes i only half remember and drawing my fucking ocs like GUYS.#GUYS I LOVE YOU GUYS. i may not remember all of you but you were like. goddd i think you made this bearable#and im so glad i saved these. i didn't know there were so many#speaking of which i also found THREE count em THREE decks of cards i know for a fact i have never used bc i have a favorite deck and it's#not those. what off the wall madness was i planning where i needed three non-matching decks of cards within sleep-reach at all times#anyway im reorganizing bc like 10% of that drawer was stuff i actually needed regularly (literally Just the knives) and it's a nightstand#so it should be like. stuff i frequently need like pens and junk. idk#like it's not as if i don't think about how my moving away hurt ppl like i've been abandoning ppl against my will my whole life#but i guess ive been thinking of it as some kind of responsibility or guilt thing? or painful in a me-centric way. they sent me off#with well wishes though they poured their hearts into these. they drew and printed photos and made little crafts bc they loved me#and that's what you do when someone you love has to go away. waughhhhgghhghbn
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