#and then i found a bunch of anonymous asks from my old Tumblr account from 10.20.15

[louisliamforever]

...

[barclaysangel]

Remember the Devon used to fight in a shady arean idea? I decided to write it, so here:

"Okay, one video down," Jake began. "Seven more to go." Yes, this was the usual. Jake getting stuck with editing videos he should've posted days ago, and dealing with the wrath of his fans.

He wished he could be like Devon when it came to social media. He was always on top of things, episodes always promised and delivered exactly when promised. He was almost envious of his boyfriend.

"I'm gonna be up all night.." Jake whined, as he began editing the next video, eventually (no surprise) getting bored and surfing Youtube for something to watch instead.

He scrolled through his homepage, finding almost nothing appealing until he found a video, which was not usually on his homepage.

The title read "KING OF THE RING VS A BUNCH OF MEN" and the description was just as vague. "Sixteen-year-old beats up 15 men" or something like that.

The account was anonymous, and Jake, being bored out of his mind clicked out of curiosity.

The video started with an automated voice telling the veiwers that this was a free-for-all tournament and the last person standing would be declared the winner.

Then, some guy got punched out of the ring.

Then another, laying on the ground, holding his stomach as weapons clattered and loud grunts were heard, and someone fought in the spotlight in the arena.

"Wait, is that..."

That's when Jake remembered. When Devon told him that Chucky had implied about knowing him better than anyone else, knowing his "secret." When Jake pressed further though, Devon wouldn't budge - refused to. "It's better you don't know," he told him. "I'm not particularly proud of that point in my life."

It was Devon, in the arena, covered in a thin layer of sweat, fighting against 5, 7, 11 different men.

Jake watched as Devon blocked a hit from a man, elbowed him in the face, punched in him his chest so many times before punching him in the face, and knocking him out cold.

He turned, taking a punch like it was nothing and punching the other man harder, then kicking two men who were fighting to the ground. He paused for a minute, catching his breath before he began again.

Dodging men flying, one tried to come up behind him and put him in a chokehold. He elbowed the man in the stomach, wrapped his right arm around his neck and flipped him over his shoulder and punching his neck, probably breaking it.

But he still wasn't done. Another opponent tried to charge at him, and with a grunt, Devon grabbed his wrist and under his arm and threw him into a group of players. His chest heaved up at down, dark eyes darting the ring.

At the end, Devon was covered in cuts from fighting empty handed. Those some cuts that morphed into scars that Devon constantly put cocoa butter on. When Jake asked about them, all Devon muttered was "Barbarians."

In the video, his shirt was torn, and he looked exhausted.

He was hurt, but alive.

The automated voice announced that Devon had cleared the tournament and congratulated him for doing so. Piles of knocked out men scattered the ring, and the timekeeper lifted Devon's wrist, declaring him the winner and the new "King of The Ring."

And then the video ended.

-

Okay, so I really want your thoughts since Tumblr is being weird and won't let me message you and if you think I need to add anything, tell me! Oh, and how do you think Devon's going to react when Jake brings the video up?

This is such a cool concept, I love it so far! I have no idea why Tumblr isn’t letting you message me, it’s been working pretty fine for me recently. I don’t have any other ideas for it but I do like this idea!

[the-penguin-of-baskervilles]

What happened to u? U okay?

Hello!

First off, thank you for your concern. I appreciate it and I needed it after the past two days. To answer your question - I'm doing great.

I don’t have a lot of context about your question, but I’m guessing your concern is due to my recent blocking spree. A day ago, I went through my followers list and found some minors. I’ve previously seen smut fanfic writers concerned by underage people interacting with their posts. Until I had to block a few of them, I wasn’t aware how uncomfortable it would make me feel.

Since the blocking spree, I've had a lot of thoughts. I'm about to spew them everywhere. You might regret asking me if I was okay. Sorry about that. No one needs to read this whole manifesto about my rollercoaster of emotions the past few days. But in the interest of transparency, I'm posting this very long note.

What I want my readers to know is the following:

Tumblr is both a place for fanfiction and a social media site.

When I interact with followers and write explicit content, I have to be careful about what I'm saying and who I'm saying it to.

I don't intend to block or purge my followers in the future.

As long as I appropriately tag and put warnings on my work, that is adequate protection for my blog. Everything I write containing explicit content is tagged.

However, I won't interact with users who don't have an age stated in their bio.

There have to be boundaries, given the content of my writing. But I've also come around to the realization that I'm not capable of policing every interaction. Tumblr is a public forum. Minors following me makes me uncomfortable. But by the same token, my work is clearly labeled at 18+ and so is my blog.

There's a lot of explicit content out there for minors if you really think about it. In my high school freshman English class we talked about the book "The Color Purple." Believe me, that was explicit and we were only 14. Any minor with a library card and a Google browser can access a lot more intense content than what I write. I hope they're all being safe, but I can't have a melt down blocking spree again.

I'm not a cop, I'm not a parent, and what minors consume is down to them and the adult responsible for them. If I know someone is a minor I'll block them, should I notice they're trying to interact with me. Otherwise, I'm not purging my followers ever again. It's too much drama. I'd rather leave Tumblr than do that twice. I'm tired and I'm starting to work on my post graduate classes, I work full time in a demanding job, I'm in the process of editing my novel, and trying to keep up with my personal life. Quite literally, I don't have time to block. Writing fanfic is supposed to be my fun time. Let's keep it that way.

Due to the fact that some people I blocked were later unblocked after I took a closer look at their blogs, I'm posting a full explanation below. A quick summary is this:

After only writing for three months, I'd amassed 500 followers. On Monday I blocked almost 200 of them. Then I reviewed my block list and editing down some people who were prematurely blocked. [I assume the anon is one of the unblocked who had me disappear from their dash. Sorry!] This blocking thing isn't sustainable. In the future I'll run my blog differently as far as interaction goes in an effort to be responsible.

Continue reading for the saga of:

The Great Blocking Spree and Existential Crisis of an Erotic Fanfic Writer.

The Blocking Spree:

On Monday I realized a thirteen year old was following me and interacting with my work. This creeped me out.

*Commence blocking spree*

Then I realized how daunting my followers list was. I had 500 followers prior to Monday. That day I blocked about 200 people (some of them prematurely - more on that later.) So after the daunting task of trying to assume, to check bios for ages, to review blog content and determine the user's age, I was tired. Today, I even took a moment to reconsider if I wanted to use Tumblr. Because if all this is my responsibility, maybe I don't have the time or dedication to manage it. When I can be chill, I try to be. This attitude also affected by blocking. It contributed to me unblocking people. When I was doing the blocking spree, I'd give people with no age in their bio a fair shot by reviewing their posts.

I blocked some bot accounts, then a bunch of blank blogs, some ambiguous people who very well could be of age. For the first 100 followers I was pretty aggressive. Then my attention span dropped off and I was a bit more ambivalent. I realized I was doing a crappy job of moderating and wondered what the point was.

The point was that the thirteen year old interacting with my work freaked me out. When I found two sixteen year old followers, it pushed me to continue the purge.

So on I go, blocking. I'm so responsible for doing this, right? But my methodology is crap. What is context for being an adult? Someone had posted about budgeting advice. I thought the budgeting advice was too good for it not to have come from an adult. But my father's a financial advisor and to be honest, I could have given that level of advice at fifteen just from osmosis. Someone had pictures of themselves entering their marijuana plants in the Oregon State Fair. Okay, you've got to be over 18. I didn't block them. Someone else complained about their stats professor and I didn't block them. But in retrospect, one of my high school friends got permission to take college level math courses when we were seniors. She was seventeen when she had a stats professor. The thought circles back - what am I accomplishing here? Next, I went back and unblocked someone who ranted about her Tinder matches being 60 year old men. I wondered if their post was even real. I've lied on the internet before. Nonetheless, I persisted and worked through all 500 followers. When I was done I had 312 followers left.

Post Blocking Spree Existential Crisis:

I know that all the blocking in the world can't stop a teenager who wants to read smut fanfic. I'm not much for posting on social media and I'm not used to a lot of anonymous interaction online. Honestly, I got rid of my SM accounts during college when I felt it was wasting my time. This is the first time I've really use a social media site to post content since college. My twitter account is unused, my Instagram is for close personal friends only, and my TikTok is for mindless consumption of cat videos. (I've trained the algorithm to feed me only cat videos, it's great and I highly recommend it.) I don't post on TikTok, so I don't consider it full use, just lurking.

Okay, Alice, get back to the point....

Right, being anonymous on social media. My blocks are a fence and it's based on self identification from the blogs that follow me. I have little faith in underage consumers to out themselves. I have even less faith in their honesty or respect for an adult's boundaries. They're at a stage in life where they want to push the boundaries. Telling them no is all but inviting them in. I did my blocking spree because I was worried about backlash from someone's parents. But what reasonable judge would come after a fanfic writer? Come on. Logical thoughts but me emotional distress was still brewing.

Why I am the one responsible for who clicks the follow button on my blog? I've always clearly identified what I write and tagged my work as smut.

That thought snapped me out of my whirlwind of anxious thoughts. So I started looking into the laws. My regular work involves medicine, not the legal profession, so I was lost. I found some state level laws that made me glad I'd gone on a blocking spree. California and Florida have specific language in their laws about 'providing minors with explicit content.' But what exactly is that? What I researched applied to the following activities: co-writing smut fanfic with other people, sexting, roleplaying and online messaging.

I run a fanfic blog with limited interaction. I've never done an ask. I don't roleplay on here and I don't want to.

The blocks weren't personal. They were partly based on the awareness that Tumblr is an interactive site and a place that's had a problem with child pornography in the past. But I'm not the smut police. I suck at blocking, and I doubt I did a good job of purging my followers list. This is when it hit me that boundaries are only what I can enforce. They've never been about how other people relate to me, only how I relate to them. (Wow. I've never sounded more like my mother in my life...) After this thought, I started considering what actions I ought to take if I wanted to keep posting fanfic on Tumblr.

My Post Blocking Spree Clarity...

It's up to me who I interact with. I don't have to reply to every comment and re-blog, but I'd like to. I'm stuck between wanting to write for everyone and handling interactions on a social media site that's mostly anonymous.

The fact remains: I can't be the smut police because I suck at it.

What I've decided is that I'll make it very clear on my blog that this is an 18+ space where I publish erotic fanfiction. Smut will always be appropriately marked. I'm not going to interact with reviews, re-blogs, and messages from accounts who don't have their age in their profile. I won't include them in my tag list either. The internet is a public forum. Just as with publishing erotica, once it's out there online for download, it's done. As a ghost writer and an author, I don't control who buys my original fiction, which is just as spicy as my fanfiction. (Trust me, it's explicit. I once had a romance editor tell me I should dial it back on the smutty parts of a novel because "it's a lot of sex for a non-erotica market.") The key difference on Tumblr is about interaction. And that's something I can control. I can decide when I reply to other users. What brought me around to this was the realization that even after the blocking spree, I can't review every single like I get. That's an amount of time and mental energy that's beyond me. Just the past two days have been exhausting and sapped my will to write. Which sucks because I need to go write the next chapter of "Restitution" before tomorrow.

I think the reasons I went on the blocking spree are nuanced. The thirteen year old freaked me out. So did the other underaged people who had ages in their bios. But it also relates to my work. In my job I've seen some nasty child abuse cases. Early on in my career, when I was a 23 year old new hire, I was working on an autopsy for a child abuse victim who'd been murdered by their parent. It was so terrible and graphic, I had to ask one of my older colleagues to take the case. This colleague didn't like me. But she took one look at my face and took the file. She closed out the review without a question and never brought it up again to anyone. I was very grateful. Where I used to work (and where this incident took place) was a major city that holds the unfortunate title of being the human trafficking capital of the US. And something I learned working there was that most human trafficking victims go with their captors willingly. In two years at that job, I never saw one who'd been kidnapped from a dark alley like you see on TV. They were all groomed on social media and thought they were escaping their families (who were often overbearing, toxic, or dysfunctional) for a get away with friends. It was a fun adventure with their internet buddies, until it wasn't.

In retrospect, the underage interaction I found on my blog made me react because of what I've been through. The autopsy case kept coming back to me today while I was at work and I've finally untangled my emotions enough to figure out what caused my melt down. When I was blocking, I was feeling an anxious motivation that I know can only stem from the stress I deal with at my job. Don't feel sorry for me about this - I know my work in medicine helps a lot of people and it's a tremendously satisfying career.

Our Saga's Resolution & How I'm Going to Deal With This In The Future...

- - - - -

In post block clarity, I offer this conclusion:

I'm writing on a public forum. My work is appropriately tagged as smut. In the future, I will also use the tag #no minors to help with filtering. I've always asked underage people not to interact. And on a public forum, what more can I reasonably do? Going forward I will only interact with those who have their age posted in their bio. But blocking sprees and policing every interaction isn't feasible.

I'll review how I'm going to run my tag lists as well. I need to think it over and let my followers know my decision as to if I'll continue using them. Because tagging is definitely interaction and my current tag list was not screened at all. *face palm*

Finally, to my readers who have blank blogs or don't have an age listed. I respect your right to privacy and I'm careful with my personal information as well. But I've also had an uncomfortable two days. If you've lasted through this venting session until now, you must understand that I'm upset by underage interaction. I'm setting my own boundaries and going forward, I'll own my side of the internet. No interaction from me, unless I know your age. Full stop - no exceptions. I think it is reasonable for me to suggest that you leave something on your blog that signifies you are not a minor, whatever that may be. Someone who I didn't block that stands out in my memory had a bio that said "90s baby." It was simple, direct, and left no doubt they were over 18. No age reveal and not even a name. If you put something like this on your blog it'll help explicit content creators feel more comfortable about their interactions.

I went on a spree this Monday and I admit to being heavy handed and aggressive about pruning followers. I had an emotional reaction due to work stress and I didn't think things through logically. I'm relieved for the chance explain myself and set new boundaries that I'm capable of sticking to in the future. But remember - the block button is on my side of the screen. At the end of the day, you might be unhappy with me for the block, but it's my button, it's my blog, and I'll use it as I see fit.

Thank you for reading.

[olderthannetfic]

Let’s take a break from specific fandoms to talk about:

Platform Wars

In 2020, we’re all asking what’s next after Tumblr. This is nothing new. “Is thing X killing thing Y?” is a question fandom has been asking since long before Escapade. But these panels offer comfort and insight into our current fear of change.

They’re also fucking hilarious.

So, without further ado, here are some past Escapade panels on the subject of Change Is Scary:

1997 - Effects of the Internet on Fandom & Slash (On the upside: more fans, more conventions, more excitement and a 24-hour party. On the downside: are the connections more shallow? Are the changes made to "fandom as we knew it" change what we enjoy? Do print fans have something to fear? Or is this simple another wave?)

2000 - Less is More: Gluttony & the Decline of Quality in Fanfic

2004 - Amusing Ourselves to Death (Fannish Discourse in the the Age of the Internet By sheer quantity, has the quality of our conversation declined to predominantly static?)

2004 - LiveJournal, Boon or Bane? (Has the advent of LiveJournal brought about the demise of mailing lists? Has it splintered the venue for discussion to the point where it's impossible to have meaningful conversation? Is the LJ phenomenon just one big egotrip? Come join us to discuss these and other questions.)

2007 - Is F’locked the New Black (Is the flocked post the future of fan communication? Are we returning to the dark ages of closed lists, zines under the table, and "have to know someone"? More and more LJ posts are locked, communities are closed, and groups are invitation only. Is there a way to protect our RL selves (and our fannish selves), yet share our fannish commentary and fic? How does this all look to a newbie? Where is our new comfort zone? And how do we keep track of all of this?)

2008 - The Organization for Transformative Works (The Best Thing Since Ever, or the End Of Days? The OTW is an incorporated nonprofit organization established by fans to serve the interests of fans in multiple ways, including by providing open-source archive software (and an archive), legal assistance, and various efforts to preserve the history of fanworks and fan culture.)

2011 - Delicious - Rumors of Death Greatly Exaggerated? (Delicious, fandom's favorite bookmarking site may be getting shut down (or at least sold out) by The Man. What to do?)

2016 - Fandom Is Fic: from BNF to TL;DR. (From paper through Usenet to Livejournal, text was king. On Tumblr, long text is an imposition—isn’t it? Has fic been dethroned from its place at the top of the heap and fic-writing BNFs along with it? Discuss the dirty little social dynamics of the shifting patterns of fannish value and how we define 'fandom' itself. And what of zines and zine eds?)

2017 - The Kids Are Not the Problem (In recent years, media fandom has grown enormously. It has also scattered, spreading out to new platforms and meeting spaces. You often hear talk about "the kids" vs. "the olds," Tumblr vs. LiveJournal, or the problem of recruiting and retaining new fans. In this panel, let’s try flipping that script. If kids are not the problem, how can we change and grow? What awesome things are other fans doing/trying that people at Escapade should know about? Most importantly, what strategies can we use to leave our fannish bubbles and more fully experience fandom in 2017?)

2019 - The fall of tumblr (Fans have always looked for a good place to build communities on line. Recent events with Tumblr and other platforms like Facebook are restricting our gathering places and even blocking and purging our self-made content. How are people dealing with this? Fandom will survive, but where? Come discuss the problems and options out there.)

And below the cut, a whole bunch more panels on platforms and change:

1991 - Quality Control in Zine Publication/Economics of Fandom (Who is making money in fandom? Should they be? How accountable are fans? Editors? Artists? Have you ever written an LOC?)

1993 -  Supply and Demand in Fandom (Can we have too much of a good thing? How many cons or zine is too many? Are we glutting the market?)

1994 - Changing Nature of Fannish Communication (E-mail, and virtual zines, computer video editing and morphing -- all the new toys at our disposal...)

1996 - Internet—Will it eat your brain? Or take you to the poorhouse? (Nearly everyone has or can get access to a computer and thereby the Internet and the World Wide Web. What's out there for fans? What should you look for? What might you want to watch out for? How can you protect your pocketbook at the same time?)

1997 - Net Fiction & Print Fiction (Is the very existence of net fic changing the characteristics or reducing the quantity of print fic? Are there really stylistic and/or content differences? What makes some shows predominantly produce netfic, while others happily generate both? How do the barriers of access to each affect the fan community?)

1997 - History of Fan Socialization (Was fandom really different in the "old days"? Was there a feeling of community that we're missing now? Or is that just nostalgia clouding our memories? In today's net-connected fandom, what is (or should be) different? And what elements of the past should we try and retain?)

1998 - Professionals: Is the Circuit Dead? (Or has it just moved on-line? Is Pros fandom split on the subject of the internet? Many old circuit writers don't want anything to do with the new on-line library. They have objected to having their stories retyped an sent out, even on private e-mail. Has the paper circuit given way to the on-line library?)

1998 - Netfic Formatting A: How to Print It Prettily (An instructional panel, covering the basics of formatting, macros, and other time-saving tips to get the results you want.)

1998 - Privacy and Community: Pseudonyms, Screen Names and Face-to-Face Meetings (As more and more fandom is found online, how are we adapting to the anonymity that comes with it?)

1998  - Netfic Formatting B: From Word to Web, Making Shapely Net Slash (This panel is for everyone who wants to venture into the world of online slash, but gets nervous when faced with the myriad technical difficulties. Relax, it's easier than you think. We look at stylistic conventions, how to make your work newsgroup and e-mail friendly, and the dreaded subject header alphabet soup. We'll also cover some basic info on how to make a www archive site user friendly.)

1998 - Crossing the Line (An instructional panel on how to get what you want (more stories) in a world that may be unfamiliar to you (the web for print fans, and the insular world of zines for net fans).)

1999 - Does Print Fandom Have a Future? (In the age of instant, free net fic, is print fandom a dinosaur on its way to extinction, or a promise of reasonable quality in a sea of mediocrity? What are the key differences between zines and netfic, and what are the advantages and disadvantages of each? Can the two coexist happily? )

2000 - Promoting Critique on Mailing Lists (How to promote critical discussion and attention to the mechanics of writing on email lists?)

2000 - Changing Power Dynamics in Fandom (With the decline of zine editors and growth of the Net, what's changed, and how does it affect us and our fanfic?)

2001 - Website Workshop 2 by the lady of shalott (Setting up and maintaining a fanfic archive, and in particular how to set up the Automated Archive software used by 852 Prospect and the Due South archives.) [NB: Yes, she went through a bunch of name versions before ‘astolat’.]

2002 - How to run a Fiction Archive (and Maintain Your Sanity)

2002 - Nobody Here But Us Sockpuppets (How multiple personality disorder takes on a whole new meaning in the world of mailing lists.)

2003 - Getting slash onto your PalmPilot for computer free reading

2003 - Recs Databases! Creation and Commiseration (Do you run a recs database and want to commiserate? Do you currently have a recs page and want to become database-driven? Want to talk about the relative merits of using PHP, MySQL, or Access to organize smut?)

2003 - How to Set Up and Maintain Fanfiction Archives (If you're thinking of running an archive, or already do and need some help, this is the panel for you. We'll cover everything from choosing a method of archiving, handling fandom growth, dealing with troublemakers, and just how much time, webspace and money are we talking, anyway? Come pick the archivists' brains.)

2003 - Has Escapade Run Its Course (Scuttlebut says: It's not like it used to be. My old friends don't come any more. My new friends can't get in. It's too big. It's too small. Oxnard, for god's sake? I'm getting sick and tired of the same shit year after year. Is Escapade old and tired? Does it need to be retired?)

2004 - HTML and Website Introduction (if you don't have a website and want to create one. where doyoustart'This will cover creating basic HTML pages and common webhosting options, as well as things to think about as you set iin vour first website.)

2005 - Where Have All The Good Conversations Gone? Rise & Fall of the Escapade Panel (Are people still interested in talking about the characters, plots, and themes of their shows? Has in-depth analysis of our fandoms been abandoned in favor of meta and fannish introspection? The forums for analytical discussion are disappearing as self-censorship and over-moderation increase. Can we change this? Do we want to?)

2005 - The Fannish Wiki (So we have the directorium, the directory of All Things Fannish. We visit it and it's just so cool, and we look for our fandom to see what it says... and it's not there! How to add it? What sort of info belongs there? How does a wiki work?)

2005 - I Was So Much Older Then, I'm Younger Than That Now (We've all heard about or lived through the tumultuous era when fandom moved online. But how has slash fandom, particularly slash fandom, changed since then? Are the changes the result of online fandom, or simply of a change in culture?)

2005 - Fanfic Archives (Setting up and administering fanfic archives: concepts, considerations, techniques.)

2006 - Putting your fic on the web (Basic skills for putting your fic on the web, including building your own very basic website, using LJ as a fic-site building tool, various options for labeling adult content, and using the standard upload interfaces for popular self-submit story archive software.)

2006 - Nifty Technology and the Future of Fandom (Fandom is quick to adapt to change and continues to bring fen together and to create fannish product. Fans have thrived regardless of how they communicate; via the post office, mailing lists, message boards, and Livejournal; they've pushed the frontiers of video and audio technology; and have managed to survive changes in copyright, pornography, and other laws. What are the upcoming trends and shiny new technologies on the horizon and how will fen use them to enhance fandom?)

2006 - Intermediate Webmastering (Designing your website for usability, options for restricting access to your website, making your stories easily accessed by mobile devices, and things to consider so fans can easily locale your site.)

2007 - Free Webtools and How to Take Fandom Advantage (Lots of free tools are available on the web to help the needy fan! Tools to edit pictures, make icons, write stories, share recommendations, share stories, and be fannish are becoming more available and more user friendly. Come chat about tools like del.icio.us, google docs, pxn8 audacity, itunes, the gimp, bittorrent, imeem, youtube and lll other things that you come and tell us about!)

2008 - E-book Readers (Sony PRS-505 or Amazon Kindle what's all the fuss about? Introduction to E-Ink and other mobile devices. What are the pros and cons of various devices? Where do you find e- books and fan fiction, and most importantly how do you get fan fiction formatted so you can read it on your ebook reader?)

2008 - If You Build It, Will They Come? (Roundtable on meta fannish infrastructure building strategies. bethbethbeth can talk about some of the specific challenges OTW is facing in its brave new fan territory, while oulangi can talk about why metafandom has flourished while very similar projects have failed, while we'll both discuss some of the challenges of the established meta/fannish structure of new communities, new fans, new technologies—and most of all, how do you keep the meta-fan conversation moving forward?)

2008 - Livejournal: Should Fans Take Their Business Elsewhere? (A discussion of the pros and cons of fannish communication on the various blogging entities.)

2008 - How to Find and Use Free Stuff on the Web (All kinds of free webapps are available for fic, art, icons, communication, and all sort of other fannish stuff. Come share favorite sites—we can bookmark everything we talk about on del.icio.us in real time!)

2009 - The Organization for Transformative Works (Off the ground and starting to soar! Come here about the latest developments in the OTW's projects and discuss where you'd like to see it go next.)

2010 - Is Somebody Taking Notes On This?: A Discussion of the Role of Fannish History (In honor of Escapade's 20th anniversary, let's talk about recording fannish history. What are the challenges? Is it worth doing? Can it be done in a fair way? What are we afraid of happening if we try? Is Fanlore the right vehicle for the project?)

2010 - The OTW in Its Third Year led by Elke Tanzer and Shoshanna (Okay, sure, the Organization for Transformative Works bought its own goddamn servers and hosted an archive (that hosted Yuletide) and published a journal (with a special issue on Supernatural) and saved a bunch of Geocities sites and testified at the DMCA hearings (supporting the FFF's proposed exemptions for vidders and other remix artists) and made a bunch of lolcats—but what have they done for us lately? [5] What do you want them to do?)

2010 - We Are All Naked (On The Internet Now) led by treewishes (Social networking platforms like Facebook and Twitter are conspiring with Google and your ISP to out your slash pseudonym to your RL friends, and to tell all your slash buddies your real name. Is there any way to stop the wave of facial recognition software or your oh-so-helpful friends who type your birthday into the cloud? Or is all this an inevitable consequence of evolving technology? Come on in and let's talk conspiracy theories!)

2011 - Fanlore: Are BNFs Writing Our History?, led by Sandy H (Fanlore has an official policy of 'plural points of view', but is that really happening? Have you ever looked up a kerfluffle you were involved in, and seen how your side of the battle was portrayed.' And on the other side, are we afraid of conflict, to the point that Fanlore is bland and safe?)

2011 - OTW/AO3 Wish List Conversation, led by Sandy H (Do you feel like you don't know how to get your A03 or OTW wishlist through the bureaucracy? A03 is getting better all the time, but there's a ways to go. Let's brainstorm and turn a list over at the end of the panel.)

2011 - The Reccing Crew (Recommending a fanwork is deeply woven into our culture. Are there new social mores at work when we make public recs? How has the move from letters to mailing lists to Livejournal and Delicious affected reccing? Delicious was conceived as a bookmarking site, but often operates as a recs and comments site. If it goes away, what would replace it?)

2012 - Tumblr, Twitter, and Pinboard, Oh My (and GetGlue, too!) (In the past year, the ongoing fannish diaspora has picked up speed, as more fannish activity has moved away from LiveJournal and Dreamwidth, and onto sites like Tumblr and Twitter. And then there was the Delicious implosion. Now there's GetGlue, a social network specifically for entertainment. Let's talk about navigating these sites—their strengths and weaknesses, and how to use them.)

2012 - The Kids These Days (Ever wanted to tell someone to get offa your lawn? Strangle the next person who said that? Revive a dead fandom? Joined a fandom you were 20 years "too old" (or young!) for? Did you go from Usenet to mailing lists? From zines to livejournal? Are you eyeing Tumblr and Twitter with alarm? Let's talk about weathering changes in fandom with grace—or at least a little humor.)

2013 - Privacy, Secrecy, and the Fourth Wall (The fourth wall between fans and The Powers That Be is shrinking day by day. Are the technologies we're using changing fannish etiquette {from invite-only mailing lists, to friends-locked journals, to all public all the time tumblr)? Should we run for the hills or embrace the change? Discuss!)

2013 - The What With the Where Now?! (Every time you turn around fandom is playing on a new site that has new functionality, new ways of interacting and new lingo. Join us in surveying places like tumblr, twitter and getglue.)

2014 - Tumblr: Missing Missing E (So you've just gotten the hang of Livejournal when all of a sudden fandom has jumped shipped to this new "microblogging" platform called Tumblr. What is "microblogging" anyway, and where do you even start? Join us in this tutorial/discussion on creating an account, deciphering the culture, finding fandom, and making Tumblr work for you.)

2014 - Out Of Step With the World (You have no current fandom. You can't even get Tumblr to load. What do you do when you're feeling disconnected and alienated, but you don't want to leave fandom for good? If this sounds like you, come join us to figure out some strategies for rekindling the love, making new friends, and finding your place.)

2014 - Real Fannish Community (Has AO3 ended the era of real fannish community or has it ushered in a new era of increased connectedness? Is Tumblr better or worse than the old days (and were the old days livejournal? yahoo groups? APA snail mail zine groups?)? I'm hoping for equal parts 'get off my lawn' and 'the future's so bright I gotta wear shades' debate here.)

2015 - Tumblr 102: Into Darkness. You’re here, now what? Here we talk about etiquette and xkit and making the most of your fannish tumblr experience.

2017 - Home on the Web (LJ's Russian overlords have removed HTTPS support and are moving the server activity to Russia; some say a shutdown of US services is on the horizon. Yahoo fails to make money with Tumblr. Dreamwidth is slow, and doesn't have media hosting. Email lists are a hassle. Imzy, a startup, places branding aesthetics over design usability. Where's the next place for fandom, or should we reclaim one or more of the platforms from the past?)

2018 - How to Tumblr (Like it or not (often, mostly not), tumblr is where fandom is most active right now. How do you find anything? How do you have conversations? How do you archive the bits you like best? The good news: the answers are not, "you don't; you don't; you don't." Bad news: Those aren't actually good questions for being fannish on tumblr.)

2019 - Social Network of Our Own (SNO3?) (Between FOSTA/SESTA, Article 13, Facebook's new "don't mention that sex exists" policy, and the Tumblrpocalypse, is it time for our own fannish social site? Or are Dreamwidth and Pillowfort enough?)

[twiddlebirdlet]

That person who leaked the possibility of Chris private IG if that’s his was the same person who wouldn’t stop posting ask about how we might get pictures later today

A selection of more anons I’ve received, but not all:

“The fact that the insta the anon was talking about follows the public profiles of people that Chris and been “linked” to shows that it’s probably fake. Not to mention there is a twitter and insta with the name of his old Facebook”

“I also think it’s fake... for example remember when people found out that his public one was originally ********3030? Now there are multiple profiles on insta with that name. Literally anyone can grab on to something of the past of his made public and roll with it. People troll and cause drama all the time. Also if his friends don’t follow it like who are the 23 followers. Just so weird, they can’t even view it if they don’t follow and it’s private. “

“Do you think that IG page is really his or you think it’s could be some random person account “

“That person/anonymous on the other blog was nuts like the definition of a troll posting cryptic things about private parties, implying photos will be dropped, he wasn’t alone at home. Like weird things if you were close would only know and why would you vindictively post that. Aka trolling. “

“Do you believe that insta is really Chris?”

“But none of the usual suspects and even family follow that account so it doesn't make any sense. The name was also hijacked on Twitter a long time ago where a fan was pretending to be him. “

“He already has a twitter acct, a FB private acct, an instagram public acct. Adding a private instagram acct to the mix seems too much work for someone that is not that into SM and technology.”

“I'm really going to need a little more than anons telling me it's real without even a tiny bit of proof other than me supposedly having to take their word for it.”

“So all of his BFFs and family members don't follow the account. That even includes Guillermo. And supposedly a bunch of people knew it was him and didn't bother taking screencaps or posting about it? This fandom isn't exactly known for keeping things private on his behalf.”

“I'm not proud but years ago I made a fake insta using the name of a friend of a famous sportman in my country. Like that, it was stupid I know. But I made a success of add his friends, his girlfriend who were in private, they accepted my demand. I deleted immediately. That this private ig follows Val, his sister, the Canadian doesn't mean it's really his. Maybe it's but his sister could accept it without thinking it's not him. “

“That supposed IG leak today, agree that it looks like trolling. One, the issue with the reuse of the name associated with the previously hacked private FB (when did that happen? 2010? Later? Plenty of time for him to pick new mom de crime.) Two, the followers to following was something like 23 to 94. If it actually belonged to him, I would think the ratio would be 1:1, as all his followed accounts would follow back. Third, the blog where it was anon’ed has been troll city of late.”

“"That insta is real"- going to need a little more than that to believe it lol”

“Could it be possible that someone is trolling with that insta account? For starters, it has only like 23 followers. And following women who have been discussed in fandom recently. Plus, he follows then but they don't even follow him back? It doesn't add up. “

“I find it too much of a coincidence that on the same day Seb is seen with a young gf that rumors circulate of Chris being seen with a young gf - what's going on here? And why would Chris have an IG under his old FB name? “

“That anon who posted the supposed ig promised pictures by the end of the day. Where are these pictures? 😂”

********************

I agree with most of the anons here, in that the whole thing is dubious as hell, and it’s a TROLL.

1) Why would he name the account the same as his old Facebook one that was hacked and exposed? That’s stupid. It’s way easy to come up with a unique name to use if you’re just going to ghost with it.

2) Why would he make it public if it’s his ghost account? That’s also just dumb. If it’s going to sneak around and not be discovered, making it private is a no-brainer. It’s less likely to be exposed that way.

Finally, many of us tumblr blogs got hit with the same anon that was declaring it was his private IG, even though most of his friends were NOT following it (and they never could give me the names of any that were - I checked, and none of his known friends were following it), and also saying he had a “sugar baby” girlfriend, etc.

Again, no evidence of ANY of that. The whole thing looks like a lot of trolling from what I’ve seen so far.

[sharkfish]

my favorite destiel fics under 10k

hello enjoy!! there’s a bunch so they’re under the cut. :) a couple are dcj which is noted after the title! 

don’t forget to kudos & comment!!! 

A Change of Scene by SurlyCat

Words: 7,606

When Dean goes over to see his Dom on Christmas Eve, he isn't expecting Cas to play naughty Santa, and neither of them is expecting how it turns out for them.

Aloft by VioletHaze 

Words: 5,271

Despite his bravado walking in, he can’t quite bring himself to sit on Cas’s actual bed, but he stands near the foot of it and takes a long pull of his beer. In silent satisfaction, he watches Cas watch him lick the beer off his upper lip.

From past experience, this should be when Cas strides forward and Dean pretends to let him take charge. For whatever reason, though, that’s not happening. If anything, Cas seems to have put a little extra space between them.

“Dean, about today,” Cas begins and Jesus Christ when he said he wanted to talk he actually wanted to talk.

Dean feels the embarrassment at being so far off base twist at his gut. The bottle he was holding loosely in his hand is now clenched in his fist as he makes for the door. “We are not doing this.”

He’s stopped in his tracks when his vision goes black, disorienting him. It takes a second or two to realize it isn’t the black of darkness or unconsciousness, but a deep iridescent black of feathers and wings.

A moving sea. by orange_crushed

Words: 3,356

It’s a pretty song but just too fucking sad, even if he doesn’t catch all the words, so Dean reaches out to change it. But Castiel’s hand meets his halfway, startles him into pulling back. He glances over and sees Castiel’s eyes watching him, glittering a little in the light from the dash. He wasn’t sleeping at all. “I like this one,” Castiel says. “Do you mind?”

"No," says Dean, and leaves it. Castiel twines their fingers together and they stay like that for the next dozen miles.

Angel-Mine by relucant @relucant​

Words: 4,274

Cas exhaled. "When an angel's wings are injured," he said to his feet, "the healing process can be augmented by… grooming, I suppose, would be the most accurate word. Removal of the maimed feathers to allow growth of healthy ones. Otherwise, they're left to fall out alone." He tilted his head towards the nightstand. "As you see."

Dean stared at him. "So… that's why I can't help?" he said slowly. "'Cause I can't, y'know… see 'em? Or touch 'em?"

"Yes," Cas said, slightly too quickly, and Dean snorted.

"You're still a shitty liar, Cas," he informed him. "What ain't you tellin' me?"

A Room of His Own (or not) by Valinde (Valyria)

Words: 3,036

Dean took a deep breath and reassessed the situation. He was in bed with a guy, sure, and technically they were snuggling, but it was Cas. The guy had absolutely no reference on what was appropriate physical contact between two dudes sharing a bed in the... normal, completely unsexy, no-funny-business, way.

A Simple Touch, A Single Look by jujubiest

Words: 2,334

Something is going on between Dean and Castiel, and Sam is determined to find out what it is. Meanwhile, Castiel puzzles over surprising aspects of his relationship with Dean.

As Long as you Like by artsyUnderstudy

Words: 6,626

A few months after Cas finally comes home to Dean, the two have settled in comfortably together. It's only after a botched date that Dean starts to worry he might not understand what Cas needs.

Boys On Film by LoversAntiquities 

Words: 8,540

But maybe that’s what it is—maybe Castiel’s finally realized something Dean is too chicken to admit, despite the fact he’s been jerking off to the idea of Castiel fucking him for the past few weeks. The idea warms him as much as it pains him to think about, his friend not being able to talk to him about something like that. That has to be it—it’s the only explanation. Castiel likes him.

“Or maybe he knows you do cam shows.”

Dean chokes on his burger.

Castiel's Angel by Valinde (Valyria)

Words: 5,073

The angel took a deep breath and looked down at his hands. He was fidgeting Cas noticed. Usually he was so bizarrely at ease in his human form, lounging around and tossing winks and smirks at anyone with a pulse. That more than anything had Cas straightening on his stool and wishing he was a little less tipsy.

“Ineedyoutogroommywings,” Dean muttered in one long, almost unintelligible, string. He was blushing.

Casturbatus Interruptus by smallhorizons

Words: 6,118

post-9.01, in a slight AU wherein Cas comes to live with the Winchesters at the Bunker. Written before 9.03. Crossposting from Tumblr. Written for a prompt from hightopsandsharpies: "Okay, so Cas is a virgin, and has no idea what pleasure is and Dean decides to show him and Cas gets all cuddly and needy afterwards."

Dean walks in on Cas masturbating. He’s doing it all wrong, but when you’re a bazillion-year-old virgin, that’s to be expected. Dean decides to lend him a hand in a totally platonic, non-romantic way. Things get a little out of control.

Curriculum vitae by cadignan

Words: 2,875

Curriculum vitae, n. A short account of one's career and qualifications. From Latin "course of (one's) life."

Dances With Bees by shiphitsthefan @shiphitsthefan​

Words: 1,402

There is no First Blade. No Mark of Cain. No Ezekiel or Metatron or Trials or Purgatory. There is Dean, and there is Baby, and there is Cas, and all three are worse for wear.

"In which Dean is not a bee, Cas is not a flower, and the image of Cas' left hand on a radio dial and a hole in the knee of his scrubs will haunt your every waking moment for eternity. YOU'RE WELCOME."―Thank you for helping write the summary, Betty.

Days With You by omgbubblesomg @omgbubblesomg​

Words: 3,212

Dean’s almost tragically offended when he moves into a new apartment and despite his absolute best efforts he can’t win more than a smile from his devastatingly handsome neighbour.

Every Last First by Areiton @areiton​

Words: 1,514

Somewhere along the way, Cas stopped being an ally, a friend.

Now, he was simply everything.

For Science by shiphitsthefan @shiphitsthefan​

Words: 6,105

“Think of it like an experiment," says Dean. "You’re testing a hypothesis as to whether or not a desirable response can be achieved through the stimulation of the anus via the application of a willing volunteer’s muscular hydrostat.”

Cas raises an eyebrow. “Are you actually trying to use the scientific method to talk me into letting you lick my asshole?”

Freeze Frame by surlybobbies

Words: 4,998

Dean's got about two minutes before Cas comes back, which is more than mildly inconvenient because Dean's just found out Cas is in love with him.

Friends Helping Friends (Telling Me What My Heart Meant) byAnnie D (scaramouche)

Words: 6,201

Dean and Cas have known each other for about a year now, and in that time, Cas has never gone into heat. So far.

He Came in Through the Bedroom Window by betts

Words: 4,725

Close to every day of every summer, Cas climbs into Dean’s room immediately after he wakes up.

He Woke Me Up Again by artsyUnderstudy

Words: 7,642

Castiel is injured at the studio, giving him and Dean time to work through their newly forming relationship.

If I Run by Anonymous

Words: 4,365

"Dean Winchester is a red-blooded American male. He lifts all the things. He aims for functional strength. He counts his macros and makes fun of curlbros. He is not a member of the Tarahumara tribe and he will not read Born to Run, no matter how many times Sam tells him to, because Starting Strength is the only book Dean will ever fucking need."

***

Wherein a friendly competition with the mysterious ThursdaysAngel turns into a sexy selfie-trading spree that motivates Dean Winchester to train for his first marathon.

Inhuman by Annie D (scaramouche)

Words: 2,098

Dean has learned that sex is different when there's an angel involved.

Just After, But Before by cymbalism

Words: 8,712

Just after Purgatory, but before whatever's next, Dean has a broken angel to put back together.

Just like honey. by orange_crushed

Words: 4,505

"Dean," Cas says. His hand is still flat against Dean's heart. "I've been- will you do something for me?"

"Sure," Dean says. He doesn't even have to think about it. Cas's eyes are starring over, gleaming at the edges with the faintest track of unshed tears, even though he's smiling again. Dean's never actually seen him cry: happy, stubborn, tireless Castiel and his bees and guacamole and perfect coffee and perpetually bare feet, Cas, Dean's hardy dandelion blooming in the middle of the sidewalk. Dean would do literally anything he asked right now, jump off a cliff or ford a river, hand to hand combat with a mountain lion, an eight-course dinner with all Cas's jerkoff fundamentalist relatives. Dean would learn Esperanto or become a bonds trader, whatever the fuck that is. Dean would die for him. Dean would do it smiling.

"Marry me," Cas says.

Kisses by Sunflower Beds by fanforfanatic @fanforfanatic​

Words: 3,299

Cas can’t bring Dean back. But he can’t be without him. So Cas leaves to meet versions of Dean he hasn’t come across before. Dean at three as a snotty toddler. At eight as a grubby child. At fifteen when he's already damaged. Cas travels through time to meet Dean throughout his life, different version of the man and Cas loves every single one.

La cucina. by orange_crushed

Words: 3,962

Dean turns around and Castiel is picking through the jars, turning them over carefully to read the labels, totally engrossed. Dean watches him.

"Is there," Dean says, "uh, anything in there you like?" Castiel looks up at him and then back at the apples, sitting in a basket on the counter in their golden skins, ripe and pretty. Castiel smiles up at Dean.

Like a Parched Land by Las

Words: 8,676

Written for the following prompt: "Reverse!verse: Castiel is the Righteous Man and Dean is the angel who drags his ass out of Hell." This is an AU version of episodes 5x01 through 5x03.

Long Nights in Cold Months by pyrebi

Words: 2,344

When you're an insomniac, you get used to the "what the hell are you doing up, man?" look. Dean just hopes the guy who's stocking the shelves will stop giving it to him long enough to help him find some damn pineapple.

Love, Take Your Toll by aileenrose

Words: 8,724

Cas sees hundreds of faces every day, but there's only one that he really cares about.

Movie Night by Annie D (scaramouche)

Words: 7,683

Dean invites his friends over so that they can gangbang Cas, and fun times were had by all.

Mysteries. by orange_crushed

Words: 2,542

But if God is not gone entirely, if God is not blind, then God knows about this, too. He might be the only one who can hear it: the inaudible rumbling in Castiel’s heart, restless and aching like an empty stomach.

Negotiating the Spot by shiphitsthefan @shiphitsthefan​

Words: 6,521

"They lie there in a comfortable silence for a while, Dean on his back with his eyes closed and Cas on his side curled around him. Eventually, Cas’ back starts to hurt, and his arm starts going numb beneath the pillow, squashed by the weight of his head and the odd angle. This is becoming a common problem when they cuddle after sex, and Cas doesn’t understand why."

The wet spot on the bed often poses a problem once the afterglow subsides, but rarely does it offer solutions.

okay, cupid. by orange_crushed

Words: 4,591

"The dating thing?" Dean frowns. "Online dating is for weirdos. Robots. Dudes hanging out in their basements."

"You hang out in your basement."

"I have an air hockey table down there,” Dean says, icily.

Once Upon A Dream by jujubiest

Words: 4,899

Everybody-Dean included-attributes Castiel's awkward staring and lack of appreciation for personal space to his lack of understanding when it comes to humans. Funny thing, though: Cas never invades Bobby's personal space, or Sam's. Why is Dean different? Maybe there's something everyone is missing.

Orange You Glad by shiphitsthefan @shiphitsthefan​

Words: 6,062

Dean hates farmers markets and everything that they stand for. However, following a conversation with a new friend, an aptly-timed epiphany, and some impromptu pie-sharing, Dean's definitely rethinking that opinion.

Perfect Symmetry by FPwoper (dcj) @fpwoper 

Words: 1,447

In which Dean gets drunk and gets lucky. With twins.

Petals by Morethancupcake

Words: 1,745

"He tells him about the bet, about how Ash had pointed Castiel out and had said "Fifty bucks none of you can't have him." Dean doesn't tell him the insults, but Castiel can guess them, all of them. They all probably laughed at how awkward he was, how out of place. How wrong."

Dean tells him about the bet. In the morning, Castiel is gone.

Physics can wait by museaway @museaway​ 

Words: 1,654

Dean doesn’t want a tutor, especially not some kid his age in a tan sweater with a tie and a freaking button-down, but his mom insisted.

Pink by museaway @museaway​

Words: 7,651

After a chance encounter at Lawrence Laundromat (at 3am, no less), Castiel is enthralled with his memory of a man in dusty jeans and a plain t-shirt with a pair of panties in his laundry basket. So Charlie Bradbury (aka Castiel's Former Best Friend) places a "missed connections" ad on his behalf, because that's what friends are for.

Queer by SeashellDestihell

Words: 1,948

A collection of times Dean encounters the word queer.

Release by lovegonestale

Words: 2,504

"Dean refuses to acknowledge his affection/lust for Castiel which backfires horridly when an angel/monster/witch strips Dean of his control and leaves only the basic instincts. The animal inside Dean wants Castiel, wants him under him, submitting, his mate/bitch and he'll do whatever he needs to get that."

Sharing Hands by almaasi 

Dean feels something strange when he touches himself, and realises Cas has been using him as a vessel ever since he came back from Purgatory.

Shopping with Castiel by Anonymous

Words: 2,126

Dean takes Castiel shopping, and the tension is just too much to handle.

Show Me by relucant @relucant​

Words: 3,069

“Huh,” Dean said again. He paused for a moment, then blurted, “Do you think you could show me?” Cas’ eyes widened, but before he could respond, Dean continued in a rush, “Like, um, a porn or something? I mean, just to, like – oh, God, never mind.” He dropped his head into his hands, the tips of his ears bright red.

It wouldn’t be the first time their decade-long friendship had gone a little beyond PG-ratings, between curious middle-school jerkoffs over the pilfered Playboys from Dean’s hidden stash to some drunken high school party games that maybe got a little more handsy than necessary. But they were seniors in college now, and Cas’ attraction to Dean had acquired a weight it hadn’t had as teenagers, and he was pretty sure watching gay porn together was a bad way to fuel that fire.

“Okay,” he said, before his mouth caught up to his dick.

Dean jerked his head up. “What?” he said stupidly.

Something Like This by AlizarinDreams

Words: 2,891

PWP continuation of Missing the Point. Really. That's it.

Steal my Breath by Sincestiel

Words: 1,991

“Tighter, Dean, please,” Cas urges throwing his head back to rest on Dean’s shoulder. Dean squeezes. He doesn’t know why Cas wants this or even what the appeal is, but he always comes harder when he’s struggling to breathe.

Study Break by relucant @relucant​

Words: 3,544

“Stop whining,” Cas said. “Finish your outline and we’ll go. There’s beer at the apartment. We’ll put on Star Wars and pretend we never set foot in the library over break.”

“Castiel Novak,” Dean said, putting his hand to his heart, “you are the wind beneath my wings.”

“Idiot,” Cas said affectionately, hoping Dean didn’t notice the hot flush creeping up his neck. He snatched his pen back and returned to his paper.

They worked in silence for several minutes, punctuated only by Dean’s occasional groans of boredom. Finally he pushed his laptop away and opened his mouth to complain when another clap of thunder shook the walls, much louder than before, and the lights flickered briefly.

Stupid with a Flare Gun by remmyme @remmyme​

Words: 3,912

“Look,” Dean grits, pinching at the bridge of his nose, “You’ve got a body. Yourbody.” (Castiel, not long ago: “Jimmy…his soul was not returned to me.”) “You’re gonna damn well learn how to use it.” The hunter reaches under the seat to jerk at the lever, sliding back the whole of the front bench and badly startling Castiel with the unexpected jolt of movement. “And, hate to break it to you, but this town’s really not that big. You just got yourself kicked out of the only joint that’s got the professionals at work.”

Dean twists to lean against the car door, pulling up a leg to lay across the seat. The moment stretches, silent and tense.

“I ain’t gonna fuck you,” he says, voice gruff, “but I’ll talk you through it.”

Support Your Local Gay Beekeeper by Powerfulweak

Words: 3,976

It’s not like Dean goes on Grindr very often, just when he’s bored and alone. The blue-eyed guy's profile reads "Beekeeper, 29, 5'10, Single, I watch the bees." Dean is intrigued. He has to send a message.

Take Me Home Tonight by Persephoneshadow

Words: 8,111

“Come on, we’re finding you someone to…engage with sexually or whatever,” Dean explains, chancing another swig of beer before going on. “Anyone in this bar, no limits, who would you would be your top choice to bang?”

“Well, you, ideally.”

Dean spits out some beer before collapsing in on himself, legitimately choking this time. “Excuse me?!”

----

Or the one where Cas wants to have sex and Dean is there to help.

Take Your Time by smallhorizons

Words: 2,532

Basically: Dean takes his time opening up Cas with his tongue and fingers before he finally slips inside and gives Cas what he wants.

The First Thing by Valinde (Valyria)

Words: 2,609

Dean figures out what he wants.

The Occasional Sentimentality by Annie D (scaramouche)

Words: 7,512

Dean has the Winchester business, Castiel is an independent contractor, their penchant for violence is something they have in common. For eight months they've been meeting off and on for brief yet intense encounters, but like all things, it can't stay that way forever.

The One Thing You Can't Lose by MajorEnglishEsquire

Words: 4,955

You know what I like a lot? The thought that Dean can just tug Cas anywhere at any time and Cas, who can lift tons without effort, who can demolish things with the light of his grace, who has battled and gone to war, has defended and broken, will just let Dean do it.

The Samhain Trials by jemariel @jemariel

Words 8,068

On Samhain night, the veil is thin, not only between the spirit world and our own, but between humankind and their inner natures.

Every year, the hunt is run. Alphas and omegas brave the woods in search of glory and passion. Every year, Dean Winchester comes out alone. The soulbrand on his neck means that he has a True Mate, and what should be a blessing has only been a curse.

He hopes, and he waits, and this year his soulbrand has been itching as if it were newly risen.

It's nearly sundown.

The Sweetest Taste by habitatfordeanwinchester @cineastette

Words: 1,938

“I assure you that I can feel and taste things just as well as you can, if not more so.”

“You’ve spent centuries as a, what do you call it, fucking celestial wavelength? You can’t possibly tell me that you think you’re a greater authority on hot chocolate.”

***

In which Dean and Castiel argue about hot chocolate.

through hardships to the stars by museaway @museaway 

Words: 4,554

Cas showed up at Dean’s apartment six minutes before midnight with a six-pack of Ad Astra under his arm and Interstellar on blu-ray.

Times Two by relucant (dcj) @relucant

Words: 5,416

[10:50] From: Charlie

So did you find Mr. Sex Hair?

[10:51] To: Charlie

actually yeah. and dude -- there's TWO of them

[10:51] From: Charlie

… How drunk are you?

[10:52] To: Charlie

im not!

[10:52] To: Charlie

ok im lying, i am a little

[10:53] To: Charlie

but srsly, they're twins. and ofc i accosted the wrong twin abt the pic

[10:55] From: Charlie

Oh my God. Your life is a fanfic.

[10:56] From: Charlie

So… Dean-sandwich on the menu then?

To be Alone with You by artsyUnderstudy

Words: 6,248

Castiel needs a model for his new sculpture project, and Dean Winchester sounds perfect for the job.

Tush by Sales Associate Steve (Stiney) @salesassociatesteve

Words: 5,359

Dean's still not exactly clear how he got here, but it's not so bad, actually, it's pretty awesome modeling panties on Tumblr.

Unfocused, Blissed Out by jemariel (dcj) @jemariel

Words: 1,818

“You’re both so beautiful,” Cas finds himself saying.

Jimmy laughs a high snort of a laugh. “Whatever you say, asshole.”

Dean slaps him lightly on the shoulder. “Way to ruin the moment, jerk.”

But Cas just settles deeper into the pillows and around his lovers, smiling and content.

We Will Touch Our Feet Together by cadignan

Words: 7,388

Go to one hour’s worth of paid cuddling—touch therapy, whatever—and end up with a pothead moping on your couch, talking about kinky sex.

Wordplay by Dangerousnotbroken @dangerousnotbroken

Words: 2,964

“I don’t understand why talking dirty is such a big deal for you humans,” Cas complains, apropos of nothing.

You Deserve This by beansprean

Words: 2,190

Sex with Cas was never supposed to be an emotional experience, and Dean doesn't deserve to be made love to.

[onlyonewoman]

Shipping skills, lonely sailors & the love for a fandom

I came to the Black Sails fandom pit quite late. I started watching the show with my common-law spouse when we’d finished binge watching  season 1-3 of Game Of Thrones summer 2013 and asked ourselves what to do with our lives now. Well, since we had HBO and wasn’t gonna cancel it for ten months before we’d explored the supply a bit more, why not look up those series we might have a common interest for. Namely political humour and history. So, we decided for Last Week Tonight with John Oliver and our old favourite Bill Maher on the political humour side and then Vikings and Black Sails on the history side. Since both series had the entire first season available, we could binge watch, which is exactly the way we both prefer. We are nerds and nerds will be nerding (yes, we actually use that made-up verb). We don’t have kids and we don’t want any, we’re both past thirty and to dwell in our books, movies, TV shows, video games and creative stuff is the central part of our relationship. We’ve lived together for more than ten years and literally the best thing on Earth for us, is when we both have a bunch of shows we’re following, sometimes together and sometimes each of us for ourselves, because that makes us happy. I mean, my c-l spouse is literally looking forward for the next release in the GoT book series, even if I’m the only one of us reading it… That’s about how important nerding is to us. Anyhow, Black Sails… At first I found it very hard to get into the show. The first five episodes or so, we were sometimes rightdown annoyed with the series. It’s only eight episodes in the first season, which made it even more irritating. Our impression after watching the first season was ”meh, at least it’s an historical show”.  At the time, I didn’t know what a fandom was… Or fanfics at all. I had definately NOT heard the word ”shipping”. When the second season came, we both got more hooked and I was absolutely stunned by the James/Thomas kissing scene, just sitting there gaping like a fool and my c-l spouse was like ”here we go again with the guys kissing guys stuff… I’ll just sit here and wait for my nerd to calm down”. I was still not into fandom at all, but later on, when season three came I finally got really, really hooked. I alredy knew very well that Vane would die sooner or later, maybe not in that season but c’mon, it’s pirate history and no matter how mixed up it is with fictional characters from TI and entirely new written for the show, anyone with a little knowledge about pirate history, knows that this wont end well for all the main characters. I was still very emotionally taken from the third season and when it was over I was in a period in life where I was out of a job for the first time in many years. I had a very difficult time to relax (I was quite ill from stress, but didn’t understand that until later) and since I felt empty, you know the way you can feel when your feelings have been built up a long time during a show and then suddenly it’s just over and you just sit there thinking ”what the fuck happened”. At least I can feel like that, so I started to re-watch season three. And then I realised there were loose ends I didn’t remember, so I re-watched the second season and then season three again. Which lead me to the conclusion that I probably had to re-watch season one as well – and of course continue with two and three. In total, I watched five seasons in this order: 3-2-1-2-3, catching up on all the little details I never see when I watch a show for the first time. Then, I started to search for reviews and interviews about the show and one day the almighty Google lead me to musemm and shinmaya-aka-fred on tumblr where I stumbled upon Blint. And I was like: what have I missed? No, this can’t be right… Flint and Billy, how could anyone even…? I have to re-watch this shit again. And while re-watching I sorta slipped into AO3 as well (thank you musemm, you lead me there without knowing it!) and I wrote my first fic The Savior (heavily inspired by ”Home is where he is” by @shinmaya-aka-fred​ ). At first it felt extremely strange to write a fan fic. I’d never done it before and I suffer from social anxiety with a very high shame level, so to actually allow myself (yes, anxiety issues are weird) to write a fan fic, or even try to, and in English which is not my native tongue, gave me lots of anxiety at first. I’d spent a lot of time on AO3 just reading fics then, but when I finally decided to make my on account and actually publish the first part of The Savior in May 2016, I had such a high rate of anxiety I was jumping from fear when I saw I was getting a comment on it: I like this, please post more!! I just love the part where Flint saves Billy, I always thought it's such an amazing beginning of their story <3 Thank you so much for this, I hope you'll post the other chapters real soon! That was @musemm (you are just the best!) and I was like ”wow, maybe this is not that kind of Internet forum where people are mean”. Then I read this: Please, please post the rest oh this! There's not enough Billy/Flint -stories (there could never be enough!) And you're an inspiration to me, because I've been thinking about writing some fan-fiction, but also don't speak english as my native language. This was lovely!

That was @fabulatio (and you are just the most fabulous!) and I realised that this really is all for fun. It’s not about being skilled in English and people wont care if it’s not perfect. And then I was like ”shit… people might actually want to reas this crap… I shuld finish it”. Then this came: Of course we are interested in more.:) I'm so happy to see more Billy/Flint writers.:) Keep it up! This is where I stumbled on @rufferto9 (you darling!) and I guess that’s where I realised how fun it was to actually write this for someone else, but still not feel any pressure. I write a lot in my native language, both private and public, and sometimes I feel a lot of pressure. With the fan fics and the anonymity, I don’t have to feel the burden of ”thinking fresh” or think about how the things I write can affect my name or work. I can do it all for fun and share it with other anonymous people who also do this for fun. I love it. It’s also a living proof that an anonymous Internet forum don’t have to lead to people being mean or trolling. I’ve only had ONE negative comment on my 49 works and that was from someone outside the forum (I closed my works from comments outside the forum after that, but I didn’t delete it. It’s still there on chapter 13 of ”A Very Angry Boy”):

Interesting story, but way too much time with Billy's whore. I have no interest in reading about Billy with his whore(s), it makes stories less enjoyable to read, so it's curious you frequent that story aspect. Anything gained is negated by experience of reading whore passages, I don't want to read that and question why you include that device, what do you think it adds? I answered it like this: Well, the whore part is not about the sex as an erotic experience for the reader, as I guess you figured, but about Billy learning to get comfortable with intimacy. I mean, he's been raped, he's insecure about his body and don't really know how to handle his own desires. He's scared, and who else is gonna give him the possibility to show that kind of weakness? A crew member? Hardly. The captain? No way! Or a sailor from another crew? Why should Billy show that weakness to anyone that doesn't do it for coin?

So, I guess it makes sense to me to add Billy's way from hating his own body, not knowing how to take pleasure in intimacy, to be able to enjoy sex. It's only been a painful experience to him before he met that whore, I mean, he's literally been sexually tortured, and the molly helps him to reclaim his body. That's what I think it adds: character developement and healing progress. I hope it makes sense to you :) I closed my work from anonymous comments after that, because I realised people who’re writing fics themselves, don’t seem to be critical in the same way. And since I’ve been writing for years in public, I’m no stranger to negative response and I have no problem to deal with it, but for me, this is all about fun. Writing fan fiction is a free time doing, something we don’t make money from, something we do beacuse it, to quote Captain Flint: ”Because it feels good.” This is why I write and read fan fics. It feels good. It makes me feel good to explore and create without the pressure of adding my real name to the stories. It makes me feel good to write without any sense of competition. To know that there’s always room for more people to join in, more stories to be written, more pairings, more ideas and that there’s no need to have perfect language skills or coming up with new ideas. That being inspired of someones work and make a similar story isn’t stealing but inspiration and a way of celebrating another person’s story. To know that I can share my love for Black Sails with other people I don’t know, and not having to open up about anything else than our mutual love for this show. And no one I know IRL, knows my alias on AO3 or Tumblr. People in this awesome fandom are using anonymity not to act like assholes (seriously, what’s wrong with people who can’t be anonymous without using it to be mean to people?!) or to compete and that is the healthiest way of socializing I’ve come across in ages. Nerds sharing their nerdy love for nerdy stuff and simply allowing each other to have a place where it’s all about having a good time and live out funny, weird or scary ideas without the pressure of thinking about ”what people might think” or ”wheather I’m good/creative/skilled enough”. I love you, BS fandom. You’ve changed my life. And I still have no idea how or where anyone can see anything even slightly close to romantic or sexual interest between Silver and Flint – and I’ve really tried! I find it quite funny how quickly my viewers counts and kudos rose on my stories with that couple, compared to stories without them – come on, don’t you silverflint people ever long to read about another pairing EVEN if you’re shipping this one?! – and now I’m in the depths of my longest story ever ”An English Rose In December” and I’m still a bit shocked about how I ended up writing so much about a Silverflint relationship. It’s actually the second longest Silverflint story on AO3 now and it’s not even done yet. I don’t understand how that happened… I love to play with these characters. Love to give them different personas than in the series and not make Silver cocky, confident and manipulative. Love to make the battle for power between him and Flint to an old-fashioned historical, arranged marriage story, where the love must be built up slowly if it comes at all. Where manipulative smiles, sexual urges and schemes are only a small part of the relationship and the battle for power is about something much more difficult: to accept a life with someone you’ve not chosen, who’s not chosen you and how to deal with your feelings, with your partners feelings, with both your pasts and with a society where marriage has nothing to do with love and everything to do with power. I love to write my story and most of all, I love this fandom and all the joy it gives me on daily bases. The praises I’ve gotten from my public writing in my real name – the writing most people sadly believe is the only writing that really matters – hasn’t given me half the joy all the ”oh my god, this is so sweet <3<3<3” comments on my fics on AO3. Maybe because no one has to give me praise because they know me or know how hard I’ve worked on a piece. When I see a comment on one of my stories on AO3, I feel genuinly happy and grateful – and proud for knowing I’ve given someone a good time with my story. Because I love to read others stories. It gives me great pleasure and want the person who’ve written it to know that. Don’t ever be afraid to comment on a story you love! Don’t worry about your spelling, your grammar or ”how it may appear”. I’ve been there, I’ve been afraid to write in another language than my own, afraid to not be good enough, to not make my stories genuine enough and to leave ”too silly” comments. I say: screw that! The kudos and comments are a fan fic writers paycheck. More than once has an ”omg I love this” comment or a ”you’ve got kudos” mail made me crack the first, genuin and wide smile on a crappy day, and I’m quite certain I’m not alone in that regard. What I really wanted to say with this suddenly fucking LONG text wall is: *Black Sails fandom – you’re the proof that Internet can be a place where anonymity can be used to spread kindness, support, fun and love, and I’m so grateful I found you. *Never stop nerding! When season 4 is over and we’re experiencing the ”my series has ended” trauma, let’s keep nerding no matter if our favourite ship reached shore safely in the end or not. *Try to widen your pairings… I know, I have my favourit ships as well, but why restraining ourselves? The show will make some of us disappointed, no matter if we’re Silverflint, Blint, Gunnboner, Madisilver, Bonnyrackham or Bonnymax shippers. Not all ships will reach safe shores (if we’re really unlucky, we’ll end up with NO surviving ships and lots of fucking wrecks) and I know for myself I will feel a lot of difficult emotions when the season is over (probably also during the season, because holy shit, those teaser clips are NOT calming!) because it’s been so intense. I hope that more people will write stories about pairings we know CAN’T happen (like Billy/Vane, Thomas/Flint, Miranda/Abigail or why not Low/Idelle – only our imagination sets the limits here!) and pairings we know is highly unlikely to happen (like Silver/Flint, Billy/Flint, Silver/Billy or a repetition of Max/Eleanor) and pairings that already have happened or still have a chance to happen, have a short time of sweetness or even survive to the end (like Silver/Madi, Max/Anne, Billy/Ben, Idelle/Featherstone, Eleanor/Rogers). Or why not do like our freaking fabulous Fabulatio and do a Flint/Billy/Thomas? (Because if you haven’t read ”The life lost from us” already, you really should!) Point is: when the show is over, it will be painful for us, no matter if we’ve been shipping one or many couples, or no couple at all, because it will be an emotional and violent ending with LOTS of deaths. I’m alredy trying to prepare myself to Rackhams very likely walk to the gallows, to an eventual destruction of the Maroon camp with Madi’s people being taken by the English and sold to slavery. I try to prepare myself to the possible beginning of Billy Bones’ increased drinking and development to a bitter, lonely and cruel alcoholic, no Gunnboning OR Flintboning (or even, horrible thought: a Billy Bones fucking a woman, because that would actually make me pissed.) If they’re not gonna make him attracted to men at all after all these teasers with brothel visits where you can’t tell the whore’s sex, rainbow colored belts and a necklace pendant reminding suspiciously much about the male gender symbol pointing straight down instead of up to the right, no dialogue with women – or about women if you don’t count Billy’s questions about ”Mrs. Barlow” – and the way he swallows and lets his eyes linger on Ben Gunn (or by all means, the way he’s looking at Flint like he can’t decide wheather he wants to kill or fuck him) in a way he’s not done with anyone else in the series (sorry, Asheboners, but the few seconds he looked at Abigail doesn’t necessarily make him straight or even bi). Maybe I’ll be an unlucky Gunnboner in the end, seeing Billy make a brothel visit to a woman while Ben will only remain an ally he’s not even hugging. Maybe Flint will never have another kiss from a man, not from Silver or Billy or anyone, and make me cry because that would just be fucking cruel. Maybe all we end up with is Silvermadi, Ellewoodes (my new name for Eleanor/Woodes) and Bonnymax where Anne is devestated for losing Rackham at the gallows. Maybe non of us get what we really want, or even with our second or third wish if our main ship doesn’t reach shore. What we do know is that no matter how Treasure Island ends, Black Sails wont end in perfect connection with that story. The series creators have said recently that season four wont fit completely into Treasure Island so who knows? Jonathan Steinburg said this in an intwerview: ”What we ended up deciding was to treat Treasure Island as a story that was written based on historical events that take place on the show. That book is clearly written in a different tone than the show; to not be able to acknowledge that puts you in a lot of awkward positions in terms of trying to literally marry the two narratives. By the time you get to the end of the season, it’s clear that [the two narratives] are married in a bunch of ways — but we didn’t feel the need to treat it as though it was the next page for the end of Season 4.” So, who knows? All I know is how much joy the series and the fandom are giving me on daily basis. Both as a reader and as a writer. And as writer, I ask all of you who’re registrated on AO3, either as both writers and readers or as readers only: Don’t forget to comment! Even if it’s just a ”Nice story!”, it’s dearly appriciated by most authors, I’m quite certain of that. Use the AO3 and the anonymity as an opportunity to be more ”shameless” in commenting. In the world outside fandom, where we need to act adult, where it’s not cool at all (especially not for people who’re past 30 – and heaven forbid if they’re childfree WOMEN past 30!) to be attached to a show, a character or a pairing that’s ”not real”, giving praise can be quite restricted where it’s important to not be ”too much” or sound ”unprofessional”. I love you, Black Sails fandom. Stay awesome, shameless and ridiculous! The world needs this shit. And @thewalruscaptain and @yasae... Just all the kisses in the world to you <3