#i don't think that THIS is a healthy and normal amount of that
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"Joy Spence, 21, said she visited emergency departments at two hospitals in St. John's over the course of nearly two weeks this May.
What began as weakness and abdominal pain on her right side quickly deteriorated into blacking out from the agony in her torso.
But no matter how dire her symptoms got, doctors kept sending her home.
"They would just tell me, 'Your bloodwork's normal, there's nothing we can do.' They would send me home, then same thing again," she said. "I would go back again. They would get me to do the bloodwork, say everything's normal."
Ultrasound and CT scans apparently turned up nothing, but Spence, in such severe pain, says she had no option but to keep returning to the hospital, where she says she was eventually left screaming in a waiting room, ignored by hospital staff.
"If somebody doesn't help me, I'm going to die," she recalls wailing, watching doctors and nurses pass her by.
At one point, she was dismissed outright by a walk-in clinic nurse, she adds.
"Somebody said to me, 'I don't know what you expect me to do,'" she said. "'You're a healthy 21-year-old young female.'"
One night, she says, her boyfriend had to help her into an ambulance. Spence was in so much pain she couldn't stay conscious and stand on her own.
"I remember the man in the ambulance telling me … how often he sees other young women going into the hospital and seeing them be misdiagnosed and not taken seriously," she said, speaking through tears.
"He said that he would do his best to … get things going for me."
Spence says she went to an ER at the Health Sciences Centre or St. Clare's Mercy Hospital about 10 times over a 12-day period, beginning on May 21. She also visited her family doctor, who could do little except tell her to speak directly to the surgeon at Health Sciences Centre, she said.
Each time she saw a doctor, she says, she was sent home and told to dance around her living room or do yoga to cure what physicians believed was anxiety or sluggish bowels.
"I had so many laxatives," Spence recalls. "I would tell them … nothing's even coming out anymore. It's not just this, I don't think. But no, they were dead set on the constipation and only constipation. Like, it can only be that."
...
Spence says doctors only began to take her seriously once she began vomiting in a Health Sciences Centre hallway. The contents of her stomach were green and black.
An older doctor walking past her happened to notice, stopping in his tracks. Spence says he immediately identified the issue as appendicitis.
At that doctor's urging, Spence was finally wheeled into an operating room, where she says her burst appendix — now gangrenous — was removed.
"I think when I walked into the room and they seen a 21-year-old young girl, they immediately dismissed me and thought that there couldn't be anything wrong with me," Spence said.
"I was not on their minds and not on their radar. And if they didn't have that preconceived idea of me, those thoughts wouldn't have been formed and maybe I would have gotten the proper care that I should have."
...
Spence is still struggling to recover from her ordeal. Physically, she's now fine: her appendix was removed and her stitches have healed.
But she's lost an alarming amount of weight, she says, wakes up gasping in the middle of the night and can't stop herself from crying whenever she remembers the hospital.
"I've been losing a lot of hair," she said. "Mentally, it's just been a struggle."
Spence only received an apology from the health authority after CBC News requested comment and confirmed that Spence had done an interview — a move she says felt hollow and frustrating, since the manager who called her didn't give her an explanation about why she was repeatedly ignored while waiting to be admitted.
The ripple effect from her illness, and how she says she was treated when seeking care, has uprooted her life. She's taken a year off her studies in Memorial University's social work program and has lost her job. She's looking for trauma therapy, but now doesn't have the money to pay for it, she says.
"I think as young women we're always told what we're supposed to do, how we're supposed to think, and not to trust our instincts," she said.
"But most of the time … the gut instinct is right. I knew I was sick. I knew what was happening wasn't right, and I could have died if I didn't keep going back to the hospital.
"If I had listened to those doctors and went back home — what could have really happened?""
#ableism#ableism in medicine#medical malpractice#medicine#medicine dismissing patients#misogyny in medicine#hospital management system
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idol!Baekhyun x fan!Reader: truth be told.
Word count: 2382
Date of release: 11th November, 2024
Genre: angst, slice of life, half ounce of a fluff, established relationships, mentions of break up and dysfunctional relationships, way too much emotional yapping as for barely any plot.
I'm as surprised as y'all that I wrote something like this. You know, no vampires, no action, no one's actively dying? It's very much not my kind of writing, but I was feeling very emotional at the time. Just don't get used to it.
„It’s not good for you. I don’t think it’s good for me. It’s not healthy for either of us.”
He felt as if the knife you were cutting vegetables with cut right through his heart as well. You deliberately distracted yourself with the activity while he stood nearby, staring at you blankly, but not knowing how to respond.
In the recent weeks, he felt the two of you falling apart. It was like an avalanche that started with a small rock which he didn’t notice at the time, but which escalated into a disaster. Talking less, avoiding meeting up, and until today – the day you announced, as gently as you could, that you wanted to move out and live on your own. You said that it’s just because you want to become more independent, that you shouldn’t rely on him this much. But what will his apartment feel like without you? Your presence here, doing small things such as cutting vegetables, became a staple part of his life.
“Are you still talking about living together? Or about… us?”
Your movements were more frantic than he knew you for. With one a bit too sudden of a motion, the blade cut through the skin of your finger, and you let out a low murmur to cover up the hiss of pain, putting the finger to your lip in mild annoyance. It was more than clear that the cut was not the only reason behind your frustration.
Baekhyun didn’t move.
In any other situation, he would react – mock you a bit for being clumsy while being the first one to bring the first aid kid, maybe pretend to be a vampire struck by the scent of your blood, maybe even panic a little in this cute, puppy-like way if he felt that the amount of blood is greater than acceptable.
But now he didn’t, and it sparked a bit of hurt in you as well, but also brought your attention to the fact that maybe dismissing things and try to make them gentle only worsened the pain that would eventually come. The anxiety of the future that you exposed him to was not like the boil-the-frog that you planned to perform. You wanted to avoid confrontation for as long as necessary, until things dropped naturally. You didn’t expect him to hold onto it.
“Can you be honest with me? Are you able to?” His tone started to show that he, too, was growing frustrated. “Tell me what’s going on. Did something happen? I’m sorry if I can’t catch the clues, but if you made it obvious, then I’m just plain stupid.”
“Nothing… happened. And I’m sorry, I didn’t make it obvious. I didn’t know, how.”
He frowned ever so slightly, taking a step towards you. You backed against the kitchen counter, placing your hands on each side – your finger stung a little, but it was merely a scratch. The real wound was growing in your soul.
“If nothing happened, then why? Did you grow bored of me?”
“Of you?”
“Yeah. Please be honest with me. Just no more sweeting things up, alright?”
His tone was calm, but it lacked softness, it was almost business-like.
“I don’t know how anyone would get bored of you, Baekhyun” you admitted in a breathless whisper. You were starting to feel foolish, really. “And especially myself. That’s why I don’t think I can take it. I don’t think it’s fair to you. But I’m also not fair to myself. You just mean… too much to me.”
“Too much?” The frown of the man’s face only deepened. “Why is something telling me I should not feel flattered?” A bit of frustration was slipping into his own tone as well.
You let out a deep sigh.
“I started off as your fan, Baekhyun. I thought that with time, it’ll be more… normal. That you’ll feel like a normal person. But somehow it’s not like that. Somehow… it feels like my life is even more about you than it was before. I feel like a creep. Like I’m using you to fulfill a fantasy.”
“Are you?”
“No!” You denied right away, but your voice faltered. “I… don’t know.” You crossed your arms on your chest, fixating your gaze somewhere down below.
To your surprise, Baekhyun let out a breathy laugh. The laughter didn’t feel light and cheerful, like his usual ones – it was heavied with worry, with some sort of underlying agony.
“Okay, let’s talk about this. We need to talk about this.”
His hand reached towards you and he pulled you by your arm, almost throwing you off balance when he pulled you towards the living room, snatching a paper towel on his way and putting it into your still bleeding hand. “You’re right. Do you think I didn’t consider it? That this wouldn’t work out? That it would feel fake? Heck, I talked to so many friends about it, and most of them said it’s not a good idea. But you know what?” He pushed you onto the couch and sat himself on the stool, bringing it close so that your knees almost touched – if only you let yourself relax, they would rest against each other naturally, but you were stiff and trying to almost shrink within yourself. “You know what? I’ve known you for a year. And I could always trust you. You’ve had so many chances to take advantage of me, and you didn’t. So I don’t want to think about how you could – potentially – hurt me. But we need to talk about the other part.”
“What do you mean? Isn’t it obvious that…”
“No, no. You’re thinking about what it’s like, for me, to date a fan.” He didn’t even let you finish, but it was as if he could read your mind, already knowing your thought process. “I want you to be honest and tell me what it’s like to date an idol. Because you’re right, you could be using me. But you also said it’s not good for you. And you’re right, because I could be using you, too. So be honest with me and tell me if I ever hurt you.”
So many memories came flooding at once – not of pain, not at all, but of all things that could have led to one tragedy or another. Your whole relationship, like a videotape.
Sure, your relationship was not always perfect. Barely a year has passed. Not long enough to develop a deep understanding of each other, but long enough for many things to happen, to get to know each other at least.
Not all of it was beautiful. There were arguments, some of which almost ended in a breakup. But they made you stronger, that much was undeniable – with each and every single time you almost fell apart, it felt like you knew each other a bit better, knew what things not to do and not to say, but which helped to soothe the atmosphere and help you get back along.
You had one, most important rule in your relationship.
That no matter what happened between the two of you, you would play fair.
That one time he lied to you about being at work while he was not – that one hurt. When you found out he’s not at the office in the first place, you even thought he was cheating. Wouldn’t that be understandable to assume in such a situation? You had every chance to cause a scandal on spot. But you didn’t. You knew that pulling his whole career down because of your relationship wouldn’t be fair. No matter how much it hurt, it was completely out of the equation.
It turned out he was with his friends – he really wanted to go out, but felt bad for not giving you much attention these days. You felt almost pitiful, seeing him crumble in front of you, all worried that you will feel like he doesn’t want you, when he genuinely didn’t have that much time, and it was just one evening with friends. You smacked him in the head for feeling bad about spending time with friends. And he learned that he can be honest with you.
Another time, you were all excited upon his album release. Seeing him on the stage later on made you feel all kinds of things, the way he moved, all the effects, clothing, makeup – all putting emphasis on his heavenly physique, as if you were watching an angel dance. He came back home disheveled, with remains of makeup on his face, but as excited as you were. You would give all of you to him at that exact moment, more than he would ask for, more than you would feel confident to give any other time.
But it was still early in the relationship, and Baekhyun knew that you weren’t ready. That, drunk on him as you were, you could regret it later, even feel disgusted with giving yourself in this easily, that your gentle mind wouldn’t be able to trust yourself with your own body. So he indulged you with kisses here and there, and then gently tucked you into bed, making sure that it all went smoothly, that it didn’t feel anything like a rejection, but a gesture of utmost care.
It took a few more months before you opened yourself to him fully, and he never rushed or reminded you of how eager you were back then. He could have had it all back then, but he decided to wait. That’s how you learned he’s more selfless than you ever even aspired to be.
“You didn’t” you spoke after what felt like ages, to the point you wondered if you even responded to the correct question. “You didn’t… hurt me. Did I ever hurt you?”
“No, you didn’t. You’re just hurting yourself all the time” he mentioned, jokingly motioning towards your hand, which you wiped hastily with the paper towel. “So if nothing bad happened, why the ifs? You realize it’s not going to stop if we just break up?” It was a rhetorical question, and you glanced up at him with a pout, feeling almost schooled by the way he talked. “You believe it’s a matter of just us, but, as much as it sounds ridiculous to say it, it’s all in your head. No matter who you’re with, you’re going to assume the worst. Won’t it be like that? Be honest with yourself.”
You crossed your arms again, feeling defiant for a moment, because his words were almost too much for your ego to take.
But there was some small part of you, somewhere at the edge of your consciousness, that not only knew that he’s correct, but also wanted it to be correct – because if it was just you, then you could learn to maybe keep those pessimistic parasites at bay, and… you wouldn’t have to suffer the loss that, despite weeks of preparation, didn’t feel like any less of a torment and regret that would come, were you to finish things as you originally intended.
All the beliefs, all the dogmas, that you carefully built over the past weeks, were falling apart in front of your eyes, confronted with very simple logic on Baekhyun’s end. You almost felt stupid for letting things get this far without confronting him earlier. Weren’t you the one who demanded honesty? Wasn’t he the one who proved you can trust him with your vulnerability?
“I’m… sorry.”
You felt yourself fall apart as well. Your body slumped down, relaxed knees rested against Baekhyun’s, and he put his hands on top of your thighs, as if in this exact moment, while knowing that he has you with him, he didn’t want to risk losing you again.
“Don’t be for feeling like that, things are never easy, now are they?” Here it was – the signature smile, the warm one that tore through the clouds of the darkest of your days, warm and welcoming. “But I am upset that you held it from me for so long” he whined. With the whine, he finally moved from the stool and onto the couch next to you. His arms shamelessly snuck around you, engulfing you in the close embrace that you knew so well, felt so good within. Partially pulling you into him, and partially leaning into the back of your shoulder, Baekhyun released a long sigh against the skin of your back, warm air slipping underneath your blouse – you missed it. You almost didn’t realize how distant the two of you became, and how long has it been since you felt his body against yours. But now, despite all of that, it felt good, it felt right. As if your souls have never detached from each other.
Maybe there was some form of destiny between the two of you; maybe it was not just a parasocial relationship that evolved into something that could turn dysfunctional so, so easily – maybe it was written in the stars that one way or another, the two of you would find each other, and it just so happened that you spotted him first, from afar, slowly making your way.
How else would the two of you find each other, after all?
Maybe you learned something this time, too. Maybe it wasn’t much, just the beginning of a stronger, even more intimate bond that would last years and years, and light years, and through all your reincarnations, with some of them as pitiful as they could be. Maybe it was just an accident that this time you were in such a position – in another life, would you be a princess, and he be a peasant?
But these were only some other ifs, fun to think about, but not worth spilling your heart over.
In this life, in this universe, you were his, and he was yours. And everything else was just more or less accidental circumstances that brought you closer together.
Only at the back of your head, you wondered if one day, the tale of hopes and stars would fall, and that dream would turn into a nightmare, fueled by your lives’ imbalance and selfishness that neither of you knew in each other.
Maybe you just didn’t have to think about it just yet.
#exo baekhyun#exo fanfiction#exo angst#baekhyun angst#baekhyun x reader#baekhyun fanfiction#vg: baekhyun#vg: exo#vg: drabble
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aghhhhh
#everyone be thankfull that im too exhausted to even complain bc. christ.#sat at uni for 10 hours. 10. hours. and gauned nothing. NOTHING! ZERO! NULL!#like i know a lot of uni is just sitting there and making it through class BUT#i don't think that THIS is a healthy and normal amount of that#and i know bc i've been studying for 4 years and this is incomparable to how my ba studies looked like#i thiught it can't get any more messy BUT TURNS OUT IT CAN#IT CAN BE WORSE#idk i just SIGH#it's frustrating and it's getting to me#aaaand i complained anyway🫣 ignore that post pls i'll probably delete anyway#neg#agnes talking#here's your daily nonsense post from me#*gained#on the bright side i have an actually fun class tmrw and i'm making pancakes so tmrw is gonna be fun bc i say so 😤#oh and my friend came to class earlier today just so she could hang out with me 🥺#and then she annoyed me for the whole class <3 (affectionate)#and another friend had my fave snack with her just in case she meets me at uni?? hello?? 🥺
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I've been wracking my brain trying to find out who exactly Detective Noel might be and I think I have a vague hand wavy idea.
I know people want it to be Parker, Kayne, or even the KIY but I think Arthur would have recognized Parker's voice even if John struggled to recognize him, Kayne was pointed out to have never known about the lighter, and the King seems like a long shot, but not altogether impossible. However!
Way back in season 1 we learned that the book that had once held John was actually addressed to Roland Cummings, a retired private investigator who owned 13 Mosby Avenue (Arthur and Parker's office) and as of now is MIA after the police found the body of his wife in the freezer and the neighbors suspected he fled to Canada (Part Two: The Missing Girl). He's also the father of Amanda Cummings, one of the missing girls who was later killed by the King (because of Arthur, whoops). Now, his office was leased out to Elijah Strong and his partner, Teddy Caine before being taken over by Arthur and Parker. Elijah had committed suicide in prison and we later find out that the Butcher was the one who actually killed him. As of right now we have no definitive answer as to what became of Teddy Caine.
Arthur's engraved lighter came from the desk of their office.
My reach is that Detective Noel is either Roland Cummings or (less so) Teddy Cain. I'm leaning more towards Cummings simply because he had seemed the most knowledgeable about The Horrors™️ and was in fact sort of the catalyst to the entire series being the original receiver for John's book. And it's also possible he and Arthur never really met. It would also make sense as to why he's working under a different name because he would still be under suspicion after what happened with his family near Arkham. Teddy Caine I'm less sure about because all we know is that he worked at the office for a time and had a run-in with the Butcher.
Detective Noel could also literally be none of these people or someone else entirely and I'm just thinking too hard. But ooh the possibilities! They make me [stick figure gore]
#malevolent#malevolent podcast#can you tell that a teacher once told me to show my work and#i clearly took that shit to heart#so here's this massive wall of text no one asked for#season 4 has brought back that mystery the first season had and i love it a very normal and healthy amount#don't talk to my therapist i'm clearly fine#it's also possible i got something wrong and if anything#this just makes me want to listen to the entire series all over again#and as an aside i think kayne killed the king and no i don't have proof i'm just basing it on vibes#🪦
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thinking about going back to being vegetarian again then i remember oh right Im moving again and i fuck SO hard with clam chowder
#Saying pescaterian is cringe ig I'll just stay doing what i do now which is saying i don't eat a lot of meat/don't like meat#Which is true#Also living with my mom she keeps telling me im so healthy it's like not really lol#I think she eats a lot less meat with me than normal tho bc i like. Rlly don't like chicken#I didn't even realize but she made this beans and rice thing that normally had sausage w/out it for me...#Idk it's weird cuz we eat out more than I'm used to bc here for 4mo or whatever#And it's rlly made me feel super picky#Cuz im like ok i don't wanna eat that it'll make me feel like this or bad in this way#Don't like to have much too much sugar cuz i think it triggers migraines tho I love sugar and it's more about it being spread out#Than the amount I think#Can't have caffeine in the afternoon#And so on#Idk like being not in my own makes me feel like i have so many more rules than I thought#Or am maybe just picky?#Bc like I do eat a lot bc i run a lot food is fuel and all that. It's just more like... What#Anyway#Food mention
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The yiga schematics are one of my favorite things in totk, behold instant kitchen
#totk spoilers#totk#tears of the kingdom#I don't think it's anything that deserves the spoiler tag but I guess it could be?#Also yes it is all green I used the autobuild function and zonaite to build it#It still makes me giggle like it did when I first found the schematic#Who's gonna tell them the portable pot works in any weather so it doesn't need to be covered?#Why is there a stake in one side of the platform? Are the cooking on the side of a mountain?#Like maybe I shouldn't question the creative genius behind the schematic as one of my default solutions is build bridge#I have a completely normal and healthy amount of time on this game <- lie#Also so upset abt not getting a screenshot of 69.69% bc it jumped from 69.66 to 69.70 bc I found a new cave#The percentages are for % complete for those who are confused
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MHIN 🫵❗🫵❗🫵❗❗
Happy Halloween! 🎃
#IM UNWELL#AND I HAVE ARISEN FROM MY GRAVE HELLO??????#MHINNIE WHAT RHE HELLL#I SAW THIS AT LUNCH AND NEARLY CHOKED ON MY RICE#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#im trying to be so normal but my coworker asked me a question twice and both times i kept saying waht cause all i have on my mind is—#—feral (yet very elegant looking) fallen angel mhin#my liege your hair so fine and hips don't lie you'll kill everyone 😩#im deceased (again)#i swear im not crazy i am a very normal individual who thinks about mhin a healthy amount (lies)#touchstarved mhin#reblog#ice is sane they swear
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Man sometimes. I want to rip my hairs out. All of em
And then my flesh, and then
#anxiety#jealousy#and envy#those are all things i feel in my stomach and my head and my chest and my hands#and my neck#i'm scared#i don't like that i let people make me feel like this#i don't like that me being close means i get obsessive#i don't want to be that way !!!!!!!!! i want to be normal and talk to people i care about a normal amount#not too much and not too little but primarily not too much#i'm overbearing#that's why ''everyone i love goes away''#i'm crazy. bpd and audhd brain says ''share EVERYTHING with them all the time. oh and if your behaviors don't match they don't like you''#i don't think i ever learned how to act. i don't know how to be in a healthy relationship of any kind#i'm doing a lot better than i was a year ago. especially 5 years ago and when i was a lot younger#i'm getting better. but i'm so tired of feeling like the reason people's sudden shift in energy toward me is because i'm doing something#wrong#i'm so tired of feeling like i'm alone. why does it take an equally-obsessive ''you're my god'' type of partner for me to feel good#and safe. i only ever learned that obsession is how to love#i thought it was called love. but it's called obsession and it wreaks havoc on every type of relationship in my life#i don't think you feel the way i do at all#personal
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A Husband Duty (GN, NSFW)
Instead of another normal love making session, you ask him to do more to you (FIC, junkie reader, IMG., more in Husband...)
—𝒀𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒐𝒃𝒆𝒓 - 𝑳𝑰𝒇𝑬 𝑷𝒓𝒐𝒋𝒆𝒄𝒕 𝑬𝒗𝒆𝒏𝒕
Yan! Husband who just loves you so much that it turns into another worshipping session instead of fucking you raw without any condom on.
Yan! Husband who just eats you out / gives you head nonstop until you are overstimulated, the whole bed is wet with your cum and drool, his boxer drenched in cum as he ruts himself against the bed sheet.
Yan! Husband whose fingers teased the insides of your clenching hole, hitting that spot that makes your toes curl and eyes roll to the back. Yes, just loll out your tongue and he'll take it for granted with his mouth, sucking and licking it while he relishes in the way you whine.
Yan! Husband who will actually cum undone just from lapping up your sweet nectar, drinking it all like a thirsty man who is lost in the Sahara desert.
Yan! Husband who refuses any of your attempts in giving him head, nuh-uh, he wants to focus on you and you only. He is already wetting his boxer with his cum, what more do you want? Splatter it all over your face and hair? He'd be so fine with just your hole ♡
Yan! Husband whose cock twitches so much when it is only the tip that enters you, imagine the whole thing filling you full and deep, he is already shaking from the ejaculation, cumming deep inside you. Do you think he is done as a '5 second, take it or leave it?'
Yan! Husband who has a questionable way of ejaculating but his stamina is not to be doubted. He will pound himself deep into you while his sperm paints your insides white. Every time he pulls out, the cum would immediately pool out from your hole only to be refilled with another. (Honestly, as expected from someone inhumane)
Yan! Husband who will not stop kissing you, be it your face, lip, body, or anything as long as it's you. Can you imagine the amount of hickeys you'll be waking up to? These will surely show the servants and others just how cherished you are in his hand.
Yan! Husband who will coax more of your sweet moans, pushing your limit further with every session you have with him, yes, he will fuck you till the sun rises if you can accommodate to him. The idea of it makes his cock twitches again, he needs to be clamped tight by you.
Yan! Husband who will not stop abusing your sex, pleasuring you with his fingers as he gives you a second stimulation while he is still hammering his cock into you.
"W-why, why do you have so much c-cum, in you-!?"
"I don't know dear, maybe it's because of you. You are driving me nuts every day!"
Yulian is such a healthy man ^^ how much litter does he have left to fill you up? Ah, the bulge... it's so arousing to see your stomach bulging with his cock and cum.
Yan! Husband, the King of Aftercare, bathing you with the finest body care, roses floating while his face nuzzled up in your neck. Please, don't do anything you will regret, you don't want him to hammer his cock into you again, the whole bathtub might be his cum instead!
Yan! Husband who kisses you to sleep, letting you rest after hours of fucking you dumb. It seems like the euphoria is gone and he has regained his sanity, evident from how he's thinking how to cover all these hickeys and bite marks.
Yan! Husband who presses his lip to all those marks, kissing it better while occasionally licking some.
Maybe he shouldn't help you cover it after all.
#yandere male#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere scenarios#yandere x you#yandere imagines#male yandere#yandere insert#yandere oc#yandere headcanons#yandere works#yandere smut#yandere writing#reader insert#x reader#oc#x gn reader#yandere husband#LIfE Project#Yulian the Corruption
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Hospital Lengths of Stay
I think people outside the USA severely overestimate how long hospital stays are here.
Like, appendectomy, right? That's maybe 24-36 hours door-to-door if there's no complications. If the appendix actually burst it might be 3 days, but only because they're giving you IV antibiotics and setting up home care to do that at home would take longer than just keeping you in the hospital.
A scheduled surgery like a hysterectomy, cholecystectomy, mastectomy, or anything else they can do laparoscopically (though small "keyhole" incisions)? You're probably not staying overnight at all.
Planned surgeries that need some kind of after care (like bariatric surgery, knee replacements, hip replacements, total vaginal hysterectomies, bladder lifts, etc...) would be usually 1-3 days.
Minor heart attack? 2-3 days.
Fracture and surgical repair of a large bone (like the femur)? About 2-3 days.
What about the exacerbation of a chronic illness like asthma, COPD, heart failure, or hypertension? IF they admit you (not just stabilize and discharge from the emergency department), it will be generally less than about 3-5 days.
Gunshot wound to the abdomen with surgery to repair things? 3-5 days.
And a stroke, sepsis, gunshot wound to the chest, or major heart attack? That would be somewhere in the 5-7 day range.
Severe trauma with multiple severely broken bones and relatively extensive surgery? This might be somewhat longer, but usually for nursing and pain control reasons rather than the surgery or injuries themselves. 1-3 weeks would be usual.
In the hospital for a mental health reason like decompensated schizophrenia or major depression? A little less than a week is normal, though some people stay several weeks if medications aren't working well.
The people who stay in hospitals for weeks or months typically have whole systems that don't work, or are waiting for a major organ transplant. For example, I had a patient once whose entire abdomen was open and couldn't be closed surgically. She was on TPN (IV nutrition) and IV antibiotics and needed massive amounts of wound care done every hour or so because her intestinal contents were spilling out of her open abdomen. She was there for months and ultimately didn't make it.
Are there people who stay longer than these cases? Of course! These are just averages pulled from medicaid data and personal experiences, based on patients who are coming in relatively healthy. Patients who have other significant health problems usually stay longer than patients who come in with a single problem.
But if you are otherwise healthy except for the reason you came into the hospital, unless you fell off a building or were in a massive car accident you are probably not staying in the hospital very long at all.
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Honestly I think this could have used an extra button for "No; I've helped people cope with suicidal ideation before, but I never felt guilted/coerced into it" based on a lot of responses in the notes. (Obviously the submitter can't think of every possible poll outcome, I'm not trying to say it's bad that the option isn't here— just that it's an interesting conclusion that that's a pretty common thing people are saying)
We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.
#other than that comment though it's an interesting poll. that's a scary amount of yes votes#given the wording of the question anyway.#I've been the suicidal one in this situation but I never expect anyone to talk me out of it. if i want to be talked out of it then it's not#actually the suicide that i want. if my goal is to be convinced to stop then what I really want is to hold my life hostage to force people#to care about me. which is understandable if you think they won't care any other way. but cruel nonetheless.#when i talk about suicidal ideation it's always from a place of wanting to be understood. and empathized with .#though that's coming from someone who's only ever made plans Once ever. most of the time it's just ideation with no intent#anyway. yeah.#people often don't realize that threatening to kill yourself is still a murder threat.#i firmly believe in the human right to die. suicide is a basic human right in my eyes. so if that's what you need to do then you're entitled#to that.#but. if you THREATEN your life then that's not.... the same. that's an act of manipulation and holding someone's life hostage#now that's also VERY DIFFERENT from BEING SUICIDAL and ASKING FOR REASSURANCE. that's not a threat#that's a plea for help. if your goal is to get reassurance and support and you need a shoulder to lean on that is normal shit.#that's like if you get really violently ill and you text your friend like ''hey i am throwing up constantly and i feel like shit... help..''#and i mean they have every right to reply ''oh shit that sucks but i have no advice for you I'm so sorry. i hope you get better though''#in either case.#but the point is that ''hey I'm going through something scary and i want help and reassurance'' is good and normal human stuff#while ''hey you didn't say exactly the way i wanted you to so if you don't rectify your behavior right away I'm going to make it your fault#when i decide to kill myself'' is. i think what the op here was going for. and that is very much not a healthy or ok thing to do to someone#like that's... there's a huge difference between asking for help#versus withholding your own survival from people who care about you unless they do a specific thing for you.#suicide threats are still death threats.#polls#my thoughts#my tags#suicide
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Thinking about how important it is that Wendy is a part of the Pines family. (Because she is, as much as Soos is. It's why she's in the family photos, such as the one representing Ford's happiness at the end of The Book of Bill.)
We don't know too much about Wendy's home / family life. Unfortunately, we don't a single Wendy-focused episode, and we don't get to learn too much about her outside of how she interacts with the main characters. But here is what we do know:
Wendy is the oldest of four siblings, with three little brothers. Wendy herself is 15. We are never given ages for her brothers, but given the photo that she shows Dipper of her younger self in "Double Dipper", I'm guesstimating that the youngest Corduroy brother (Gus) is about 6 in the present day. This is because young!Wendy was wearing braces and also noted to be "freakishly tall" for her age, and Gus was wearing a diaper in the photo (but standing on his own). Braces can take two to three years to be removed, and Wendy doesn't have them in the present day, meaning she was probably around 11 or 12 in the photo. Meanwhile, Gus was in a diaper but able to stand, meaning he was probably a toddler, likely around 2. So in the present day, Wendy is 15, Gus is around 6 (depending on if Wendy was 11 or 12 in the photo), and Marcus and Kevin (the middle brothers) are between 14 and 7.
Wendy's mother died when she was young. Given the age of Gus in the photo, we can estimate that Wendy's mother died when Wendy was, at youngest, 11 or 12 -- so, three or four years pre-canon. (Because any earlier than that and Gus couldn't have been born.)
Wendy's father is Manly Dan, who shouts just about every line of dialogue he has and routinely breaks things, including in his own house, albeit sometimes by accident. He also spends most of his time in a biker bar, though we do know that he does love his children. (e.g. is seen with the boys on both family fishing day and Summerween, is seen taking Wendy out for breakfast in "Dipper vs. Manliness").
Dan is the reason why Wendy has a summer job. As she says in "Gideon Rises", "If I can't work at the Shack, my dad's gonna force me to work at my cousin's logging camp up north." This implies that Wendy has to work somewhere, per a rule of Dan's.
In "Into the Bunker", Wendy has this to say when she comments on how she's excited to be going on an adventure with Dipper and Mabel: "It beats cleaning up after my dad at home." She says this with a frown, in a grousing tone. We're then treated to a clip of Dan breaking apart the cabin as mentioned above.
In "Society of the Blind Eye", before she's about to have her memories erased, Wendy confesses thus: "I'm stressed like 24/7. Have you MET my family?"
Wendy dreams about her mother every night. The glimpse of her dream that we're shown depicts her receiving a comforting hug from her mother.
The conclusions that I draw from the above are thus: prior to her mother's death, Wendy had what amounts to a normal family life in Gravity Falls. The Corduroys were a two parent household, her mother was there to help balance Dan out and raise the kids (Wendy included), and Wendy could, well . . . be a kid. It's possible, even, that some of Dan's more worrying traits (such as spending the majority of his time at a bar) didn't exist when Wendy's mom is alive. It's pure speculation on my part, but it's possible that Dan feels compelled to go to a bar to be aggressive (and drink, even if we don't see it because it's a kid's show) because that's how he processes his grief over his wife's death, away from his children's eyes and ears. He's trying to be a responsible father and not hurt his kids, while at the same time still not handling things in the most healthy way.
But back to Wendy. Once Wendy's mother died, the dynamic in the Corduroy household shifted. Dan was hit by the tidal wave of grief that comes with losing a spouse, as well as the sudden onslaught of being a single father to four children, one of whom was very possibly still in diapers. And if my speculation is correct and that he took to going to the bar to deal with his grief, then who is left to change Gus' diapers and get him potty trained? To operate the stove or oven or microwave to make sure that the boys (who would all be under age 10 at this point) got fed, and to make sure she got fed herself? To, in her own words, "clean up [her] dad's messes" when he was at home to make them by breaking apart the house with his own head?
Wendy.
Wendy was a child herself when her mother died, but she was the oldest child, potentially freshly into middle school while the boys were still in elementary, and the oldest daughter to boot. The girl, expected to know how to do "girl things" like cook and clean. I'm not saying that Dan told her to do these things, but we know from Wendy's personality that she is protective of those who need it (e.g. Dipper and Mabel) and, more importantly, that's her home and her family, and she does love them (she makes this clear in the Weirdmageddon episodes numerous times). She wouldn't let her little brothers starve, wouldn't let her youngest sit in a filthy diaper, would try to pick up the house if her dad and brothers wouldn't. Wendy would step up to do it out of necessity, even if she hated it and felt stressed out about it, especially while also feeling the crushing grief that comes with having lost her mother.
So Wendy, having lost her mother at a young age, probably had to step up into a pseudo-parental role in her own house, trying her best to fill the void that was left by her mother's passing even though she was only a child herself. And this is why she's "stressed, like, 24/7." Because not only are her father and brothers loud and chaotic (especially with Dan raising the boys into miniature versions of him), but because it's her responsibility (spoken or no) to keep the house in as much order as she can. It's little wonder that, outside of the movie that she and Dipper are watching in the beginning of "Into the Bunker", Wendy seems to spend as little time as possible in her own home.
So, how does this fit into it being important for Wendy to be part of the Pines family? Or, worded in a better way, why it's so important that she has the Pines as a second family, and the Mystery Shack as a second home?
As I said above, once Wendy's mother died, her ability to be a child in her own home effectively ended. Again, to make it clear, Wendy doesn't hate her family. In fact, it's the opposite; the Weirdmageddon episodes make it clear that she still loves her father and her brothers very much. But "Society of the Blind Eye" also makes it clear that they stress her out. She has a lot of complicated feelings, something that's understandable given her complicated situation.
But because she has to help keep the house together when she's at home, that means she can only really be a kid (or teenager, as the case may be) when she's outside of it. She has a lot of fun doing this with her friends, but sometimes a teen does need a home to relax in. And for Wendy, that home is the Mystery Shack -- and yes, that includes when she's on the clock.
Now, I know what you may be thinking: it's stated that Stan is a terrible boss, that he barks orders, that he yells -- how is that any different from her father? Well, I'll tell you how: the only time we actually see this is in "Boss Mabel", in which Stan being a boss who yells and barks orders at his employees is a plot point meant to create the conflict for the episode. Otherwise, we never really see Stan being an awful boss, and in particular we never see him being hard on Wendy. In fact, I would argue we see the opposite.
Here are things we know about Wendy's behavior at work, and Stan's response to her behavior at work:
Wendy constantly reads magazines while working the cash register, often right in front of Stan. Stan never tells her to put the magazine away.
Wendy often puts her feet up on the counter. Stan never tells her to take her feet off the counter.
Wendy goes up to the roof "all the time, every day" to the point where she has a chair and cooler up there. ("The Inconveniencing"). We don't know if Stan knows about this or not, but it's hard to believe he wouldn't if Wendy goes up there as much as she says she does.
When Stan told her to hang signs up out in the woods, she said, "I would, but I can't . . . reach . . ." while making no effort to get up to get the sign, and not removing her eyes from the magazine or her feet from the counter. Stan simply said, "I'd fire [. . .] you if I could." i.e. she got away with it 100%. ("Tourist Trapped")
When Stan double checks with Wendy and Soos that they'll wash the bathrooms while he's gone, Wendy says, "absolutely not" with a salute. Stan laughs and then says to stay out of trouble, not caring at all. ("The Inconveniencing")
Wendy was supposed to work the ticket stand all night at the party. She quit about ten minutes in and blatantly joined the party. Stan had to have seen her. He did nothing. ("Double Dipper")
Wendy claims in "Boss Mabel" that Stan doesn't let her have friends at work. In contrast, we see Robbie visit her at work all the time throughout their relationship (e.g. "Fight Fighters", "Boyz Crazy"), and Stan even comments on "is that the guy that's always making googly eyes at Wendy?" but otherwise has no problem with it. So again, it was a conflict invented for "Boss Mabel" that otherwise doesn't exist.
And that is just off the top of my head. The point is, Wendy is perhaps treated the easiest of the staff at the Mystery Shack. She's blatantly lazy and snarky and the most Stan ever does is grouse that he would "fire [her] if he could."
And this is a good thing.
The Mystery Shack, even if when she's on the clock, is clearly a place where Wendy can relax. It's somewhere she feels comfortable, rather than stressed. Yes, she's working -- but she's putting in the barest minimum effort because the stakes are the lowest they could possibly be. Because even though Stan grouses and complains about how little she cares, he won't fire her. He says he can't, but let's be honest, he could. One could argue that he'd be out a cashier, but he already is when the school year starts and Wendy has to go back to school. The Shack doesn't close down then, so it wouldn't close now if he fired Wendy.
But he won't fire her, because he knows that if he did, she'd be sent up north to her cousin's logging camp, a job she would hate and that would add on to the stress she already has from her home life. Stan has been in Gravity Falls for 30 years; he's been there since before Wendy was born. He knew her mother. He remembers when her mother died a few years ago. He probably saw how Dan's personality changed, how Wendy's personality changed from a more carefree little girl to a little girl who had to act more carefree than she actually was because she won't ever dare let anyone know she's anything but tough as nails, kinda like the guy he sees when he looks in the mirror. So he'll grouse at her about her laziness, and she'll complain about how much she hates having to work, but he'll also never hire another cashier even during the school year when the Shack maybe could use the extra help, and she knows that he both has an orthopedic back pillow and where it's kept, and that's as much as either of them will say about it. (Source for the orthopedic back pillow: "Soos and the Real Girl").
Wendy spends time at the Shack that would otherwise be spent at her home. When she decides to leave Tambry's party early, she goes to hang out at the Shack and watch movies with Stan, before the twins or Soos arrive ("Summerween"). She's likewise hanging out with the Pines and Soos watching television despite work clearly being over in the beginning of "Dreamscaperers". Wendy can relax at the Shack, can be in a home environment where she has no responsibilities, where she can simply be a teenager without also having to be a pseudo-parent. She can be a big sister figure to Dipper and Mabel without the added responsibilities of having to make sure they're fed and brought up right. She can be snarky with Stan, and he'll be snarky back, and there are no risks or consequences at all.
It's important that Wendy is a member of the Pines family, because here there are no complications for her. She loves her original family, but things got difficult when her mother died, and they won't ever stop being difficult. But things aren't difficult with the Pines. In a way, being with the Pines is as comfortable as the hugs she gets from her mother in her dreams every night. Being with the Pines feels right. It feels safe.
It's good that Wendy has them. It's important that Wendy has them. And fortunately, she always will.
#gravity falls#wendy corduroy#pines family#stanley pines#manly dan#corduroy family#again none of this was meant as an indictment of dan or Wendy's family#she does love them and i think dan does do his best#but going on how these things often end up IRL plus things Wendy says#i just think this is all likely#plus with how much time Wendy spends with the Pines#and how much Stan lets her get away with as well#(which is a good thing to be clear lmao i love it)#anyway
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so… how does autism even happen? they say “there’s only in increase in numbers because they have better ways to diagnose” but I’ve seen two, normal and brain healthy adults have severely autistic kids. not to be “that person” but I genuinely believe it could be due to over vaccinating or all the chemicals we consume in food and products on a daily basis.
so are they just using the better ways of diagnosing as an excuse to why autism is increasing so they don’t have to admit they’re poisoning us? is it really a true statement that the amount of people born with autism has stayed the same and it is just because of better diagnostics?
I just can’t comprehend how two healthy adults, with no familial history of autism or anything like it, is at all possible. it must be what we consume, because the amount of chemicals and bioengineered products we consume daily now is absolutely mind blowing. I could totally see how a mother consuming these things whilst pregnant, and before, could lead to her birthing a child with brain issues.
i’m not trying to be ignorant - I just think autism (severe case - can’t be touched, can’t speak, can’t regulate emotions..) is really really really hard to deal with, for the individual yes but also for the parents. I couldn’t imagine not being able to touch or talk to my child, and I would feel absolutely awful if I caused that by what I consumed.
id like to be a mother someday, I have no family history of autism, nor does my partner. but… I know my limits, and having an autistic child would be quite the battle for me. even though mine and my partners bloodline is clean, is it still a likely risk?
Before getting started: I am NOT going over something like this again, so please do NOT send questions like this.
Question 1:
so... how does autism even happen? they say "there's only in increase in numbers because they have better ways to diagnose" but l've seen two, normal and brain healthy adults have severely autistic kids. not to be "that person" but l genuinely believe it could be due to over vaccinating or all the chemicals we consume in food and products on a daily basis.
Answer: two healthy people can have an autistic child. The same way two healthy people can have Down syndrome. Autism itself is a neurodevelopment disorder that affects how we learn and communicate. These disorders affect both the brain and spinal cord. If you do some actual research, the autistic brain is actually a bit larger than a neurotypical one. We have a smaller amygdala however, which helps regulate emotions. That could explain the emotional dysregulation. This disorder literally affects how the brain works. It’s not the same as a neurotypical one. We’re called neurodivergent for a reason.
Question 2:
so are they just using the better ways of diagnosing as an excuse to why autism is increasing so they don't have to admit they're poisoning us? is it really a true statement that the amount of people born with autism has stayed the same and it is just because of better diagnostics?
Answer: Autism itself is a complex disorder and was barely understood years ago. There’s no sign that vaccines are raising. If it were, then mostly everybody would be autistic. But this is not this case.
Here’s an article about the “autism epidemic” as people like the call it:
Question 3:
I’m not going into this part, because this is where you start to get delusional. Like I said before, it’s a developmenttal disorder that ANYONE can have regardless of family history. Yes, Autism tends to run in families, but there can be some where autism doesn’t run in families. Anyone can have autism. It doesn’t matter if it runs in families or not.
We have gotten better with diagnostics because of our more advanced technology. Autism isn’t rising. We’re just getting better at diagnosing and understanding the disorder. It’s still unknown what exactly causes it or how it happens. Some say it’s environmental, others say it could be genetics.
Yes, autism can be hard and difficult to live with. And the fact that you are insinuating that you wouldn’t or like to have neurodivergent child, then you probably shouldn’t be a mother. I would love my child and take care of them, no matter the circumstances. Even if they couldn’t talk, that wouldn’t make me love them less.
Do some research, spend some time talking to autistic people and parents to see their experiences and thoughts. We’re human beings, just like you.
#inbox#inbox reply#inbox is open#tw ableism#the fact that this person doesn’t want a child due to the possibility that they could be neurodivergent sickens me#I will NOT be answering anything like this again#and here I thought I was delusional#get off my blog if you believe anything anon said#god this is so stupid#autism#actually autistic#tw anti vaccine
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Imagine being pregnant with King's child and not knowing about it until you give birth
At a distant Beast Pirate base
You: [has been away from Onigashima for seven months]
Jack: are you sure you're okay?
You: [hunched over, grasping your sore back, and sweating profusely while trying to catch your breath] Yes, I'm fine, my sciatica is just acting up.
Jack: I think you should go to the infirmary.
You: [snaps] Dude, seriously? I said - [feels a deluge of fluid flood your pants] ... you know what, I think I need to go to the infirmary. In fact, you need to carry me.
Jack: bitch, you have legs, how about you walk?
You: [doubles over and shrieks in pain]
Jack: ugh [rolls his eyes and runs you to the infirmary]
Twenty-six hours later
You: [looking at your infant in shock]
Infant: [a beautiful chubby Lunarian baby girl with a tiny set of black wings]
Jack: congratulations on the baby! [walks in to see said baby] fuck... need to go call King.
You: ... kill the medical staff first, no one can know about her.
The staff: ( ' O__O)
You: Once you're done with that, can you please get us out here?
Jack: of course [turns to the staff and cracks his knuckles] Also don't tell me what to do. [gets to work]
You: [cradles your child closer so she can't see or hear what's happening, and laughs] Thank you for being so reliable, Jack.
Jack: I just... I wish you had told me sooner that you were pregnant.
You: I didn't know until today that I was pregnant.
Jack: How could you not know you were pregnant? That shit seems hard to miss.
You: We've been out at sea for months, I figure I was just the normal amount of nauseous, sore, fatigued, cranky, and hungry.
Jack: [breaks the neck of the last nurse] Ugh, now you get three weeks of seafaring with a newborn because I'm taking you to King.
You: Why would you think my baby would be safe with King?
Jack: [gives you a "bitch, really?" look]
You: ...
Jack: ...
You: Oh my god, he's a Lunarian too
Jack: How have you been fucking him enough to make a baby, and not know he's a Lunarian.
You: Do you really wanna know the answer to that?
Jack: You two are gross. I'm taking you to a safe house until we are ready to set sail.
At the safe house
King, via den den mushi: What do you mean you're pregnant?!
You: no, I said I was pregnant, not I am pregnant.
King: what the fuck does that mean?
Your daughter: [starts to fuss]
King: please tell me that is not a goddamn baby, I hear.
You: Yeah, sorry, I didn't know until she decided it was time to come out.
King: what color is her hair?
You: She's a newborn, she doesn't have hair yet.
King: [stumbling over his words] Does she look a little... Is she ... fuck... Is there anything off with the baby?
You: No, the doctors said she was healthy, especially her lungs. She came out screaming, it was so loud that she made the doctor's ears ring.
King: So she has your loud ass voice, great.
You: And she's got a cute little set of wings like her daddy.
King: oh, don't call me that... Are there any other features I should know about?
You: She's got your fat head, too.
Kaido: [cackling in the background on King's end]
King: Is that so? Jack, how long until they can set sail?
Jack: On such short notice, three days.
Three weeks later in Onigashima
King: Alright, let me see her.
You: [hands her over]
King: [lifts her up to get a good look at her] She has your nose.
Queen: [mutters] She really does have your fat head.
King: Get away from my child, I don't want you even looking at her]
Queen: I, honestly, never would have pegged you as the paternal type, but then again, I always thought I'd have kids before you.
You: You would have to have sex with someone to have a child, and last time I checked you couldn't pull any bitches. But also, seriously, stay the fuck away from my kid.
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#one piece#one piece x reader#one piece imagine#one piece scenario#king the wildfire#king the conflagration#king the conflagration x reader#king the wildfire x reader#jack the drought#jack#queen#queen the plague#kaido#kaidou#from the depths of the dragon's hoard#tma original#no beta we die like men#7/29/24
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I'm anemic (pernicious/B12 and iron deficiency) more pronounced if I'm not on vitamins aaaand this reminds me I should take my joint health supplements which taste awful, but include stuff like magnesium, that could help with the twitches...
I was also low on calcium (I stopped taking my bone health supplements a while...) which, ironically, within days of taking them again, the dizziness (especially when bending over) and weakness I suffered went almost completely away.
Please hear me.
Being tired isn't normal. It doesn't matter that you're aging. Being fatigued is a serious sign.
It might be difficult to judge "normal tired" from "bad tired". Rule of thumb is that if you notice that other people seem to be on another plane of existence with alertness, you're not "normal tired".
I slept for 10-12 hours a day at least and still was tired for most of the day but "functioned" (went to work).
It turns out it wasn't just one thing. It was a lot of things. I went on liquid vitamins first because that's all I had energy for—to throw money at something that can be delivered to me. And it was crucial. I went off my heart medication after my doctor let me know my active heart rate was way too low (prior to the vitamins). I felt super improved and this went from feeling super improved to extremely improved after I began to eat more healthy fats (avocados, eggs, nuts, vegetarian-friendly animal products). I cannot emohasize the eating more fats thing enough. Did you know that due to our biology women are supposed to have way more healthy fats than what we're typically told?
I had struggled with other symptoms I brushed off as normal too. My hands and feet being cold all the time. Turns out this wasn't normal. How many women and girls have cold hands and feet constantly? I was "adoringly clumsy". Balance issues from vitamin B12 deficiency. Foot cramps. Magnesium deficiency. Generalized anxiety disorder. Still have it, but significantly improved because my body isn't fighting for it's life. Lack of focus/concentration issues to the point where I worried I had ADHD or something since that's all I know about that mental health condition.
Constant cravings I blamed on emotional eating. Increasing my healthy fat intake all about cured this—helped more than protein. I began to lose weight when I increased my healthy fats because I was no longer seeking out sugar or bad fats. Iron deficiency and vitamin D3 deficiencies were also confirmed on blood tests before I started liquid vitamins.
When I went off my heart med and bought those dumb electrolyte packets for my water, my arrhythmia is now hardly noticeable physically.
And to circle back—I am awake. And I sometimes break down and cry because I can't believe how I was functioning now that I understand what having energy feels like. I didn't know. I didn't know there was even anything wrong with me. I thought I was just a tired person. That being tired was normal to being female and aging.
Chronic fatigue is extremely serious. It's not normal. You're not just a tired person.
#on the other hand I have too much healthy fats???#low LDL as I don't even like meat generally and don't fry stuff due to my GERD but I had too high HDL???#they were thinking if it's still high I might need to be put on medication to control the healthy fats because that would not normally be#due to diet but instead a genetic condition :/ :/ :/#meanwhile some jerks think I just overeat or make assumptions gaaah I eat frequently in small amounts because of GERD and a hiatal hernia..#but yeah please have blood work done see an internal medicine doctor#fatigue#chronic fatigue#medicine#the rudest is when people assume I'd eat two sandwiches or a whole pie (?!?!) by myself what the hell#I wanted to cry#people assuming I'm being shy when I eat the actual amount I eat#I am not being shy!!!#this is all I can normally eat!!!#I do not actually eat that much leave me alone!!!#weight * mention in tags#diet * mention in tags
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} (newby) demon muzan, soft muzan?, arranged marriage, fiancée! reader, fem! reader, mention of bl00d, reader's face got cut
let's pretend that blo0d transfusion exists in haien period a/n; usually, I stick to writing headcanons and avoid posting scenarios because I worry it might not be good enough. however, I've chosen to take a chance this time so if there are any mistakes, please bear with me y-y wc : 1.2k
you never imagined that one day you would willingly sacrifice yourself to aid your sick fiancé, who barely acknowledged you
he was unkind. neither of you had agreed to this arranged marriage; it was solely the decision of his family, the Ubuyashiki clan, who couldn't bear the thought of their ailing son dying alone
at first, the situation was difficult, Muzan be believed having a wife wouldn't extend his life or be of any use. you tried your best, simply aiming to fulfill the marriage contract, we don't have to be in love
the arrangement benefited both clans. the Ubuyashiki clan could lessen their appearance of pity by providing a wife for their son, while your family could regain their lost wealth and noble status during their down in luck
and at the turning point, when he was injured and lost a lot amount of blood. neither his family nor yours offered to help him, they were afraid to give blood to someone like him. they're just hired a cheap doctor to care for him, you were the only one willing to give him your blood without hesitation
after that, he was more open to you
until the day the doctor's medicine was effective
but without knowing it, you were only happy for your fiancé to become healthy like normal people. you heard a nonsensical rumor about a demon attacking people at night, it must be a bear or wild animals..
" I am greatly rejoiced for thee, that thy health hath now become better " you said it as you started to sit beside him on the warmed tatami mat, gazing out at the garden beyond
" the physic hath wrought an unexpected efficacy upon me " he nodded in agreement, raising his arm and gently squeezing it to show the increased muscle and strength he now possessed
" I heard he was a thrifty physician, deemed unfit, yet he proved skilled to mend thee, I do delight exceedingly " as you mentioned this, making Muzan to reconsider his first encounter with the doctor. he couldn't believe he would successfully be healed, as the doctor was merely a cheap physician hired by his clan
" in speaking thereof, thou dost prove thyself useful to me " he turned his face towards you and smiled gently, a smile that could barely be called a smile
" I do greatly admire thy bravery " he said, his smile filled with pride and happiness, yet tinged with a sadistic undertone that sent shivers down your spine
his words left you stunned; you never expected a compliment from someone like him " my pleasure " you said as you bowed to him, It really makes you feel happy, yet it seems like god isn't kind to either of you
" yet unfortunately, I hope that one day thou and I may stroll together, now it is unwise to go abroad by night " you express how shameful it was for the chance of having a normal life with him to be interrupted by some kind of creature " folk do speak of a demon, that doth hunt people by night " you know he doesn't believe in anything silly like this, so the reaction he gave you afterward was not surprising
" demon.. tis the name by which they are called? " he chuckles softly, of course he would do that, you think, he's the man who- " art thou fearful of demons" his question caught you off guard. he doesn't mean it, does he?
sometimes he asks you strange questions, given that he has spent his entire life trapped in his own house. questions about the outside world grab his attention the most, so you didn't mind it, but that doesn't mean he would believe in such a fairy tale like this. you remain silent, not because you're trying to avoid his question, but as his voice shifts, growing more serious " in the night doth stalk a creature, feeding on flesh of men.. art thou afraid? " he looks at you, and you sense he already has an answer in mind. if you answer wrongly, you fear something bad might happen
" I do not believe in demons, tis but a wild beast " you answered while trying to hide the fear you felt, his question has indeed made the atmosphere awkward, you think
Muzan tilts his head slightly " is it so? what if... what if I be that demon? wouldst thou be afraid? " he seems to enjoy seeing you like that
" what do you mean? "
" thou hast heard my words. wouldst thou abandon me if I were that demon? even there is no chance of fleeing from me "
what on earth is he talking about? " I... " your words evoke a sense of fear and confusion, as he reaches his hand to gently touch your cheeks, his actions were so contrasting to what you felt; he touched you as if it were something fragile, yet not with the intention to protect, but to possess it, to do whatever he pleased with it
" what a pity. I do hold thee dear, and thou wilt surely prove useful unto me " you startled slightly; his hand felt so cold, almost as if he weren't human
" hast thou any final words? " you trembled, hearts beating fast, unsure if it was pure fear or excitement. you didn't feel the urge to run away; it was the same mix of emotions you felt when you first volunteered to give him your blood, the joy of helping someone you love, intertwined with the fear that death might be near, and you might not make it out alive " thou didst inquire if I fear demons? do I dread death? I would say, tis not that I lack fear, but the very thought of aiding thee doth making me to endure it " you're contemplating your feelings, realizing there's no right answer for him. in that moment, you didn't strategize on how to answer so he would spare your life, instead, you acted on what your heart felt, just being honest, something you wouldn't regret later— though there might be no 'later,' because you're going to die right here at his hands " I once gave thee my blood, I do not fear to give thee my blood again, it gladdens my heart that I may lend thee aid once more " you close your eyes, gently touching his hand on your cheek, cherishing this fleeting moment of happiness for the last time " take it all as thou dost desire " you said, as you turned to place a soft kiss on his palm, that even if he's not used to or doesn't like being touched, what's the worst that could happen? he's gonna kill me? then- well..
Muzan paused, stunned by your response. then, a sadistic smile slowly spread across his face once more, his eyes gleaming with a disturbing intensity. as he began to grow out his sharp, menacing nails, pressed them firmly against your cheek, and sliced your cheeks until they were red and bleeding " it would be discourteous of me to not return what I have received, I shall give thee my blood also " it was a gift from the demon king, leaving you unsure whether it should be seen as a blessing or a curse. nevertheless, if this is what god desires, then so be it
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