#i don't think it's gonna necessarily be a good one

[crossdressingdeath]

Ah, I think what we're getting into here is the difference between Andrastianism and the Chantry. There were a lot of different Andrastian sects(? Cults? Not entirely sure what the right word is, but I'm gonna go with sects) when the Chantry was first founded; most of them aren't around anymore (at least some of them gone because of the Chantry and its habit of wiping out every other religious group it can, see the codex entry on the Daughters of Song for an example; that one's especially nasty since they were pacifists and the Chantry steamrolled over them anyway), but even in the games' time period there's still a couple, most notably Chantry Andrastianism and Tevinter Andrastianism. Orlais chose a very warlike sect to follow right from the start, which might just have been because that's how Orlesians are but it's still a thing to keep in mind: the sect the Chantry came out of was already one that glorified war above most other things. How convenient for an expansionist empire! The Chantry itself was absolutely created from that initial sect with propping Orlais up in mind, and it has stuck to that mandate pretty consistently throughout Thedas's history (even up to the occupation of Ferelden, the Orlesian king put in charge had a Chantry advisor; as far as I'm aware there was no significant Chantry presence among the rebels, at least not in any official capacity). It's also important to me to keep in mind that in the games there is a vague acknowledgement of how Andrastians don't necessarily follow the Chantry and many don't agree with it; Anders is a devout Andrastian, and he understandably despises the organization. Varric is Andrastian, and Cassandra comments he wouldn't be caught dead in a Chantry. Basically the Chantry as an institution and Andrastianism as a religion are not the same thing, the Chantry was created with a specific goal that Andrastianism did not share, and after a point they have to be discussed as separate entities.

I sort of agree with the "institutions are at their heart the people" thing? But also that only goes so far when we're talking about an institution that is fundamentally not in it to do good, or at least not for anyone who isn't already wealthy and in a position of power. I think the best example is Mother Giselle; she was working in Jader during a famine, and she demanded the Chantry step up and offer aid to the people who were starving. She's the epitome of someone determined to do good within the Chantry and fulfill their supposed mandate of charity. And... the Chantry refused to help. Just straight up refused to send aid no matter how many times she entreated them to help these desperate people. Eventually Mother Giselle fell back on a hunger strike, and that worked (although the Chantry insisted she feed herself and her fellow sisters first, which they merrily refused to do; I have issues with Mother Giselle but this is very good, gotta respect the determination). But the Chantry was so furious with her for "shaming" them and forcing their hand that by breaking that famine she ensured she would never be able to move any higher in the institution than she was already. Mother Giselle was fighting the Chantry the whole way and was punished for succeeding. That's kind of the running theme in the Chantry; there are a lot of genuinely good people who are genuinely determined to help! But outside of the individual level they consistently find themselves stymied and slapped down by the organization they serve, because the Chantry does not actually exist to help and does not actually want to. There comes a point where you can't take the intentions of people who join up as the true purpose of the institution, because the institution absolutely does not agree with those intentions and will do everything in its power to shut them down. (Also I mean there comes a point where it's like... hey if you people are in this to help people why aren't you quitting when it becomes clear the organization is going to demand you hurt people at every turn, Keran DA2 you will always be famous to me.)

FINALLY SOMEONE SAID IT. Thank you Dorian for being the best once again and pointing out that hey maybe if the Chantry didn't treat their mages like shit and traumatize all of them they'd get possessed less often.

[showsandstuff]

WHAT'S UP!

Welcome to my post where I praise the fanon original league version of Jayvik!!!

I'm gonna be real, I will miss the Og machine herald Viktor. I never played league, and I'm not going to, but before season 2 came out I read his lore and he's actually a pretty fun character.

Then after season two act 1 came out, I dove into the world of fanfiction cause I started shipping Jayvik and found kind a few fics about the league of legend versions of the characters. And here is what I will say.

If we go with fanon alone, I actually prefer the league versions.

League Viktor and League Jayce are actual enemies for most of the time. They used to be colleagues, then Viktor was getting into brainwashing whilst Jayce was a dick and got him kicked out of the academy. He also didn't speak up when some other scientist took credit of Viktors invention. Oh and there were misunderstandings about some crystal...

Long story short, they don't like each other. But in the fics they often times either clear the misunderstandings and make up or yearn for each other whilst on opposite sites. Or they fight each other which leads to make out sessions because why not.

The characters are also generally more fun to read about.

Jayce is a huge dick, that is literally his most defining personality trade. He is a cocky bastard and people like him until they get to know him because he's just such an asshole.

And Viktor is just... Really fucking silly. He wants to get rid of his emotions and says that he already did get rid off them, but then Jayce pisses him off and you can tell no way?? Where did you get rid off your emotions? You've been whining non stop. There's also still love, kindness and empathy within Viktor, but he somehow convinces himself that he is emotionless. It gets especially good when that's played for comedy, which it oftentimes is!

Also, the nicknames! They still call each other Jayce and Viktor but Viktor also calls Jayce "Defender" short for "Defender of tomorrow" which is jayces title, and Jayce calls him either V or Machine Herald, depending on the mood.

Arcane season 2 was too rushed and packed with so many seperate story lines that we didn't have enough time for the characters. We needed at least one more season.

But the fanon for the league version, as someone who never played it, gives me this huge time frame of them being enemies but they used to be colleagues or friends (or more than friends depending on the writer), and then a huge time frame of them being enemies.

Og machine herald League Viktor though??? PEAK, WHAT A FUNNY CRINGEFAIL LOSER!

Now more to Arcane...

I think as much as I love Jayvik there, it's all just too sad, especially if you don't necessarily want to read act 1 fanfictions or AUs.

Also Viktor is super hard to characterize because his personally changes with almost every act. That's why I don't buy it when people complain about the way he is characterized because Ik all yall want is sassy S1 Act 1 Viktor, but I prefer the less confident and workaholic Act 2 Viktor. We are not the same.

The Fanon of League is just, somehow, more consistent in a way, because it has existed just much longer and people probably get inspired by the same shippers for how to write their dynamic.

Arcane fics though depend on how the individual interprets the characters, and with characters whose arcs were rushed sm it's just impossible.

So Og machine herald Viktor, you will be missed. I hope people don't stop writing for them and drawing fanart!!

[tamashi-tai-tamashi]

Okkk so remember that "I didn't really raise them" line from Daima that made everyone mad ?

Well at first I was a bit annoyed too because I thought it was another "haha look Gokū is such a bad father" line and that it was gonna help the "Gokū's a bad dad" fandom but then in one of the french parts of the fandom we talked about it and like. I am not annoyed anymore because it's... True.

I don't know if that line indeed was a "haha Gokū is such a bad father" line, if that's the case well it's just stupid as fuck because he ISN’T a bad father, but actually if you think about it that's not necessarily what it meant.

Gokū has been dead for a long time, okay? He's been gone for 7 whole years, during which Gohan went from 11yo to 18yo (the whole time chamber thing included) and Goten was born. So he missed Gohan's entire teenage years, plus Goten's birth and the first seven years of his childhood. That doesn't make him a bad dad at all! But well, it's true that during these years, he didn't raise his sons.

Also, he's been dead one year during in Gohan's childhood, year during which he didn't raise him. Then when he went back, they fought on Namek, and he went away again for another year. He went back, and they spent three (four if you count the time chamber thing) training and only training. Don't know if that count as raising or not, like I don't have an opinion on that. Anyway, still not a bad dad, but we can understand that line.

Finally let's talk about Chichi. She did most of the raising - when he was away but not only. She took care of her kids' education, she's the one who takes care of the house, who cooks, who does everything. Clearly, most of the raising part, she took care of herself.

Anyway, all of this to say, I don't think Gokū's a bad dad at all, I said it a lot of time, I think he's a good dad, a bit selfish and forgetful, yes, but wise, loving, amusing, ready to do everything for his sons, who teaches them everything he can so that they grow up to be good men.

But that Daima's line is kinda right. He's there for them as much as he can, but most of the raising part was done by his amazing wife Chichi.

Also let's not forget that we hardly see them in times of peace, so we have seen very little of him as a parent. Maybe that'd change everything if we could see how he is with his sons in time of peace.

[tiagems]

So I'm not gonna mince words: the book is not good. That's not necessarily a bad thing though imo, Twilight is awful and it still got people to read, and once they started reading they found better books to enjoy.

There is a significant amount of people who hate the book just because it's easy to hate. It's easy to sling around words like "immature" and "vapid" and "convoluted", because Lightlark is all of these things, but there's a group of people who like to go out and shame the people who do like it. They are just bullies who likely haven't even read the books but just read a review or two and decided to make it a moral thing. It's not.

I'm glad you enjoyed the book. I did not.

I think that Lightlark is what you get when someone who only consumes media and never engages with it intellectually tries to write a series.

I have a lot of issues with it, enough to make my own video essay on the matter. My largest issue is that it's marketed as a Young Adult book when the plot is clearly better suited for New Adult or just plain adult fiction, but it's easier to market YA to tiktok users because the demographic there is around 13-19. There's other issues including:

- The lack of characterization in any of the characters. Alex Aster treats characters like plot devices, and has them do things just because that's what they need to do to move the plot exactly in the way she wants it to move. To avoid them doing things out of character, then, they simply don't have any character and are all cardboard cutouts. Can you describe anybody beyond their physical appearance and use in the story? Who was Aurora's sister? What's Azul's late husband's name? Why did Grim fall in love with Isla? How old is Isla?

- The twists. Having twists in your book isn't a bad thing, the problem is that there's no narrative difference between Aster's twists and Aster's exposition dumps. It feels less like putting a puzzle together and more like taking notes from a poorly edited textbook. Also the sheer amount of them are exhausting.

- The dialogue. This is just a personal preference of mine but I can't stand dialogue that doesn't sound natural and realistic. If you can't imagine hearing this conversation in real life, I am immediately yanked out of the story.

- The themes, or lack thereof. This could've been a story about so many things, about societal expectations, about what it means to sacrifice your own desires for the greater good, about violence against women and the harm it perpetuates. We get none of those things.

There's more but I don't want to lose you. I think I already have, I'm in too deep now though.

I want to reiterate, there's nothing wrong with liking Lightlark. I'm glad you enjoyed it, and I hope you keep reading more books and continue to expand your tastes. Maybe one day you'll look back on Lightlark and cringe the way I do when I think about the books I used to like(Maximum Ride, the Immortal Instruments, Harry Potter).

I was very excited to look for fanart and see what other people thought of a book I was reading to see if other people enjoyed it as much as I did.....only to find....that everyone...hates it.

I'm a little bit sad because I really enjoyed it. Did I read the same book as ya'll?

[chungledown-bimothy]

literally no one asked so it's going under a cut and untagged but anyway here are the npcs from each d20 season (that i've finished) i'd cast jeremy jordan as

fantasy high: johnny spells. would put his whole pussy into the accent and unsettling dialogue. also it'd be funny having a man who famously cannot dance playing the leader of a dance gang plus the, like, single jace line in ep 3 bc otherwise my choice for junior year doesn't make sense

unsleeping city (1 and 2): dale lee. in my opinion, most of his best performances have been Wife Guys. not necessarily literally married, but have that energy. especially when the woman in question kicks absolute ass. sondheim would also be really funny though

fantasy high sophomore year (and pirates of leviathan): alistair ash. back to his silly and kinda pathetic little guy comfort zone

a crown of candy: calroy cruller. i'm gonna be real, this one's largely for thirst reasons. dgmw he'd do a fantastic job, but first and foremost it's because i wanna hear the monologue

misfits and magic: nurse stitchnit. i think he'd be really great with the big emotional beats with evan. some of his best work in supergirl was when they let winn be emotionally intelligent and supportive. (like with kara and her panic attacks in triggers, for example)

starstruck odyssey: honestly i don't have a strong opinion on this one besides the fact that it's gotta be someone from baustin, new texas. sheriff codge, maybe? idk just let the man be Aggressively Texan.

coffin run: emil ward. this one's just vibes. i see him doing the evil businessman thing very well.

a court of fey and flowers: the funny answer is jeremy renner. the thirsty answer is chooch. i'm saying chooch. we know he plays sluts well, also it's my list and no one else cares. if you're still reading this, you're probably as insane about jerjor as i am and will respect this vision.

neverafter: lord bainbridge bandlebridge. again this one's mostly just vibes i think he'd have fun with it.

ravening war: jaques tomate. he'd get real silly with the voice, it would be great

mentopolis: wilton (of "we're drowning in cum down here" and "if it's not about cock and balls, i don't care" fame) is the funny answer, and you know what, i'm sticking with it.

burrow's end: the thirst choices do not stop. jeremy jordan for bennett.

fantasy high junior year: jace stardiamond. the man plays a damn good fag who is, again, down bad for powerful people

[vi0lentquiche]

I vaguely remember reading this and watching the interview with Bryan and Hugh at some point but can’t find any traces of it here, so to commemorate the heroic sacrifices of everyone working on Season 1 and to preserve the McDonalds bit especially:

For the first season, it was interesting, 'cause I wrote the pilot and it was so closely tuned to what Thomas Harris had written, and there was so much from the books that was going into it. Then I think we had four or five scripts, and then I saw the pilot, and I saw the work that Hugh and Mads were doing, and I saw the work that David Slade was doing, and I looked at those four or five scripts that we had written, and I said that they weren't good enough, and I threw them out. And then we started over. I think we shut down for two weeks between the pilot and the rest of the show. So, after seeing the pilot and going, 'This is actually really good, and this cast is phenomenal and they deserve better material,' [we changed our approach] because the four or five scripts that we had done were very procedural, and very sort of strange.

One of the episodes was about a mass shooting in a McDonald's, and we were trying to make this commentary on fast food culture and gun culture. Now, looking back on that, I'm like, 'What the fuck were we thinking?' 'cause there's no way to skin that and not be offensive to somebody. Not that I care about offending people, but it just was sort of inelegant and cheap and not necessarily elevating the genre. I feel a deep responsibility to try to elevate the genre of whatever I'm doing. So we tossed all of those scripts out, and then it was a scramble for the rest of the season.

And it was really hard on Mads because English is his second language, and a lot of the shit that Hannibal is saying are words that I have to look up, to go like, 'Is that right? Is that a word?' So it was really difficult for him. The first season was insane, it was very depressing, and it felt very much like I was in Will Graham's head a little too far. And I remember there was one time when Hugh and Claire [Danes, Dancy's wife] and I were walking around a park and it was just nice to be with people who weren't expecting something from me that I knew I couldn't give them. To just have general support and go, like I said, when Hugh and I had our first dinner, I was like, 'Oh, this is gonna be my friend. This isn't just a working relationship, this is somebody whose company that I adore.' So those moments kind of got me through the complexities and the real hardships of season one. And then after surviving something you go, like, 'Oh, I can survive.'

bonus:

Truthfully, in the chaos that we experienced and that Bryan was kind of in the frontline of, in retrospect it didn't compromise for me the ability to submerge ourselves in it. I honestly don't know why that should be, except for the fact that... he, and we all, felt that responsibility, right? Not even to anybody else, just to ourselves, right?" Fuller finished Dancy's thought for him: "As artists."

[year2000electronics]

about yer mario hottakes im rollin in with thoughts on the mario-luigi dynamic.

i've heard so many people go back and forth between them having this 100% perfect brotherly love VS. mario is evil and hates poor baby luigi but i think that maybe it's just they're both complex characters and mario deeply insecure

like that tennis scene where he grinds luigi's foot after luigi wins instead of him. when your whole livelihood revolves around being the kingdom's favorite boy it makes sense you might lash out at being upstaged even if that's fucked up as hell to do to anybody. and while luigi's allowed and expected to outwardly express his fears (at least from diary entries i've seen in the paper mario series and luigi's general "coward" persona), who the hell is listening to mario? he's probably seen how shit people treat luigi for being vulnerable anyway (we play as mario usually witnessing all this and like. bros are real yikes to luigi), so i'd imagine the bottled up bitterness at the world is hard to contain. resentment towards luigi for being emotionally open, resentment towards the denizens of the kingdom for treating his brother like crap when mario probably wouldn't be too different if it wasn't his job to be

i'd imagine the moments he cant contain his cool like that are deep regrets. sure, luigi would forgive him, but can he forgive himself? can mario contain himself long enough to not wig out, especially with everyone watching him 24/7?

idk if this is super off base, i don't go to this school. but imo put mario in therapy, you can't be strong for everyone all the time. you're just some guy

YEAHYEAH i think even if the middle section is YMMV i do agree with the general idea that "the bros' relationship is more complex than 'they love each other' or 'they hate each other'" . like ok. being the most BANAL of canon-compliant here to reel back my own insanity for a second. it is canon that mario gets a bit competitive with luigi/his friends! we see multiple art pieces/cutscenes depicting this

because they are siblings. and im gonna be so real here i latch onto any sort of flaw mario is ALLOWED to have due to his status as Mascot so you can pry "mario gets a bit too competitive" from my cold dead hands

he's also shown to be a bit impatient if he percieves something is taking too much time

(from super mario sunshine)

(from bowser's fury)

(from luigi's mansion 1)

so i definitely see his stubbornness and impulsivity clashing with luigi's careful methodical approach.

ALL THAT TO SAY. i think even if you're just playing by the rules, i think you don't have to JUST go for one extreme or the other. i agree. the rest is purely speculative fanon applying some depth to a character who functionally does not necessarily "need" it.

(but my personal playground space interp of mario and luigi absolutely has this sort of clashing dualism where both bros are really stressed out with the hand that life has given them and they're always thinking "my brother doesn't know how good he has it" but they love each other despite that, and that love makes them not want to talk about how they really feel, and that makes it WORSE, etc etc etc)

[citadelofswords]

oh i'm So close to this breakthrough i'm so close

[speakercrab666]

Republican Green Day fans just now realising American Idiot is about them has gotta be the funniest thing i've ever fucking seen. like my guy they are a pop punk band. they be popping and punking. they've BEEN popping and punking. who the fuck did u think they were talking about????????

[ranvwoop]

screenshots of despair / take me to war - crane wives / @/scarhaver / how to maintain eye contact, robert wood lynn / no children genius page / screenshots of despair / screenshots of despair

emma, jane austen / the world is ugly - my chemical romance / have to explode - the mountain goats / converse county - raccoon tour

screenshots of despair / screenshots of despair / catastrophe is next to godliness, franny choi / hate one an otter - newgrounds death rugby / my mom - kimya dawson / @/ell-hs / bad bad things - ajj / the priest - soltero / kiss of the spider woman, manuel puig

— c!vwoop

[welcometoteyvat]

ok very interesting quest in hsr

[rimouskis]

when I first started my job, I'd often overplay my emotional detachment to it because I had moved from a high-emotional/personal-involvement industry into a soulless corporate one.

and to, like, justify that decision and explain it to my high-emotional/personal-involvement peers from that old industry, I'd be like "lol I don't really care, you know? the job suits my skill set and I can do it, so it's all good:)"... but I've come to the realization that I actually really enjoy doing the labor of my job and it's weirdly hard to admit that!!

[xcziel]

i think i have given up on the yard now

there are things planted and we'll see what we'll see, but from everything i've read stuff will either die in the 110F heat or later on in a winter freeze so further $ invested may be a waste

and the only solution is to keep everything as potted-and-mobile or indoor plants

there's already been issues with ants and gnats so the impetus to leave them outside and then bring them in later is now very low

so maybe i will just have a lot of indoor plants - at least i can take them with me when i go

the one pothos is at least VERY enthusiastic and all the greenery is *so* fucking mentally soothing

... i just really want to buy so many more plants and i *have* to stop

[pearlzier]

𝅄⠀⠀ㅤׂ ⠀sleepy gf quiet gamer bf, smut⠀ 𓈒⠀⠀✧

"that's it, baby, that's it, there we go, that's my girl," matt groans softly as you sink down onto his cock, the soft, wet squelching sound making his thighs tense faintly beneath you. he almost whimpers at the sight of you so blissed out, so sleepy but needy for him to fuck you. you'd woken up minutes before, soaked with need. he was surprised, to realise how wet you were, all because of him. but he was on call with his friends, so the two of you needed to be quiet.

being quiet was most definitely not your thing.

you were characteristically loud when in bed with matt. it wasn't your fault, necessarily. matt made you see fucking stars. so the blame for your borderline pornographic moans couldn't be placed solely on you. it was as much matt's fault as it was yours. as much as matt loved your pretty sounds, he also didn't want his friends overhearing the two of you when he was supposed to be focused on winning.

"gotta be quiet, ma," matt grunts, realising his friends are getting a little suspicious of how long his mic had been turned off. he would've kept it off the whole time so he could fuck your tight little hole as much as he wanted to, as much as the two of you wanted, but still. "don't want them to hear you, do you? hear how good you feel when i fuck you, huh?" you shake your head, to respond, but also to try shake away some of your drowsiness.

"don't want them to hear me," you agree quietly, slowly grinding your hips as you simultaneously shimmied a little more out of your fluffy pajama bottoms, the soft material brushing against matt's thighs causing him to groan a little bit. "gonna turn my mic back on, okay? gotta stay quiet for me." he turns it on, as promised, and he laughs at his friend's responses, giving you a quick look in the process.

you had to be quiet, because matt wouldn't be happy if you weren't. you knew what he was like when that happened, he was so unfair. your hands grasp at his shirt a little, as you shift your weight, and quiet little sounds slip past his lips at the way you move. he'd call you a tease if he didn't know how sleepy you were. no way you'd tease him in a state like this. his half-lidded blue eyes flutter over you and he smirks to himself, his hands preoccupied with the controller as he played.

it was up to you to get off, the look in his eyes told you. matt was busy with his game. he couldn't bounce you on his dick like he usually would, or hold you down so you could grind, no, you had to use your pretty head and think for yourself without his help for once. so cruel of him. you were the one who came to him all needy and horny in the first place, after all.

"mmh," you whine pathetically, under your breath, just quiet enough so matt's mic won't pick it up. he laughs at you, chuckles at how needy you are, mumbling under his breath, "go on then, baby, i can't help you." he's so mean, you think to yourself, as you try to lift your hips up and down on him. a low grunt slips past his lips, your walls gliding up and down on him.

"you're so mean," you huff out, trying to gain a momentum. you're so tired, as are your thighs, so moving is practically impossible. matt watches you for a moment, the impossibly slow pace you're setting making arousal coil in his stomach. he can barely stay quiet, grunts escaping him occasionally. "i ain't mean, baby, jus' busy." he was being unfair and he knew it.

this goes on for another fifteen minutes or so. you leaking on his dick, making a mess, unable to chase that releass you so dearly crave.

all while he laughs and jokes with his friends about a round of a game you honestly couldn't give two shits about.

eventually, he feels the tiniest shred of mercy. matt notices how sleepy you are and the way you're about to fall asleep with him inside, and he takes pity on you, deciding on finding a way to wrap up his gaming session with his boys. "s'gettin' late and i gotta do some shit in the mornin', but i'll catch up with you guys soon, aight?" his friends grumble agreements, a little disappointed as to their standards it wasn't even that late.

arguably 3am was late, but okay.

you don't start whining and whinging until you're absolutely sure his friends are gone, and it's like a dam's been broken the moment you are. "matt, please," you beg, "please, please.. wanna.. touch me, please," it's pathetic and whiny and you're absolutely not ashamed because he'd been a total dickhead in not helping you and now you just wanted to come. was that so bad?

"so needy, sweetheart.." matt mutters, a coy smirk playing on his lips as he leans back in the gaming chair, watching how you look, sat on him like that. his hands glide over your body, and you mewl at the touch, back arching instinctively. the way your tight walls squeeze him when your back arches urges him to finally give in and give you what you want, his hands sliding down to your hips. "just needed my attention, thought so," he starts slowly grinding his hips, bucking up into you in gentle motions. you let out soft gasps, pretty noises falling to his ears and only encouraging him more.

"that's it.. you ride my cock so pretty, ma," he's practically doing the work for you, since he knows how tired you are, but that doesn't mean he's not proud of you for even trying. his head tilts back, blue eyes watching you as he bounced you. "gonna fuck you so good, babe, make you see stars, huh? couldn't sleep? don't worry, baby, don't worry," he mumbles, oh, he'd get you to sleep. don't worry about it.

๋࣭ ⭑ taglist / @mattslolita , @st7rnioioss , @flairdean , @mattsluv , @bepositiveforachange , @poetatorturadaa , @onlynextdoor

[corkinavoid]

DPxDC Danny Is A Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

(not in a necessarily bad way and it's by Clockwork's design)

Bats, or Constantine, or the JL, or whoever you want to be close to Danny in this prompt, don't notice it right away. It takes them a while to figure out its not purely coincidence. And even after they do figure it out, they still have their doubts.

The thing is, it doesn't work all the time. It also doesn't seem to have a system or a schedule to it, nor is it any kind of a superpower, as far as they can understand. By God, does Danny have way too many superpowers, but most of them are consistent, and yet this one... is weird. Weirder than anything they've seen before, and they've seen a lot, okay.

It also only works if Danny does it without thinking.

"You know what'd be perfect right now? A cheese sandwich," Danny says over the comms, in the middle of the fight with Dr. Freeze, "A warm, grilled cheese sandwich just out of the toas- Owch, what?" There's a pause. And then, "Guys, you're not gonna believe it, a cheese sandwich just smacked me in the face! I think someone threw it out of the window or something!" Danny sounds bewildered, but excited, and there's a sound of chewing from his comm now. At least he is eating, so that's good.

"I fucking hate robots," he grumbles the other day, punching his way through the Brainiac invasion in Metropolis, with no comm and only for the Supes to overhear, "No, correction, I hate only evil robots. The ones that interrupt my astronomy class. The ones that shoot motherfucking lasers and walk like crabs, and ruin a perfect day, and- I wish- aw, fuck, no, that's bad wording. Don't wish for shit. But if all these robots would just suddenly, miraculously malfunction and stop attacking me and the whole city, that would be, like, real nice of them."

A few minutes later, something goes wrong with the Brainiac's control over the army of robots, and all of them just stop moving and fall down at once. It is deemed as a chance, a lucky shot, a coincidence. Supes keeps quiet over what he heard Danny say.

"Oh, you bitch-ass fruitloop, you know what I want?" Danny yells at Plasmius, as the ghost is laughing like a madman, "I want a fucking brick to fall down right on your head, like, right now! Maybe that can set your brains straight for at least five minutes!" And even before he is finished talking, there's something falling down from the sky and hitting Plasmius's head. It's not a brick, to be exact, it's Miss Martian's shoe, though. She has no idea how it even came undone and fell from her foot. But it did somehow knock Plasmius out cold, so there's that.

It doesn't happen all the time. Red Robin does the math - the improbable accidents only happen in about 26% of the situations, given that Danny says something. It's by no means a reliable power. It also doesn't happen only during the fights: there were numerous times when Danny just said something like 'I wonder if the cafeteria serves garlic bread today' and sure enough, there's garlic bread there. Even if it was not on the menu. Ever.

They try to question Danny himself, but he has no idea. He doesn't even notice the coincidences most of the times - which is not surprising, knowing that they only happen in one out of four situations and Danny is known to have a short attention span. So, after a few unsuccessful investigations and failed attempts at calculating how this even works, they all give up. It has never jinxed anything, as far as they know, so everyone just leaves it be.

Danny is just magically lucky like that.

Meanwhile, Clockwork is having a good laugh about it. Danny's suggestions amuse him, and it's funny to watch the other superheroes having a mental breakdown over it, so he rigs the timeline from time to time. Just a little.

[ddejavvu]

JAMES POTTER THE MAN THAT HE IS i wholeheartedly believe would spoil you so much and you’d make sugar daddy joke about him CONSTANTLY even if you were the same age

"Why has your aunt just told me I look too young to be your boyfriend?" James leans over to murmur against your ear, throwing a glance at your aunt who's currently indulging in another glass of wine that she doesn't need.

"I dunno," You shrug, "Older ladies are always saying things about the way people look for their ages."

"Your grandma frowned at me when I came in," James recalls with a groan, "Not necessarily angry, I don't think. Just confused."

"She's always confused," You scoff, "Don't worry James; no one else thinks I've robbed the cradle."

"Y/N," It's a cousin of yours this time, elbowing you hard in the shoulder and sitting down beside you like you're not huddled up privately with your boyfriend, "I thought the wallet you snagged was halfway to the grave already. 'This his son?"

"Wallet?" Your eyes narrow, nose crinkling at the accusation, "What are you talking about?"

"You said you had a sugar daddy," Your cousin scoffs, and realization hooks your stomach, dragging it down towards your feet through an ocean of blood, "We all thought you were gonna bring some war veteran tonight, this kid looks like he just graduated high school."

"I'm twenty-two," James rambles, scandalized, "Y/N, you told them I was your sugar daddy?"

"No! No, I told them ages ago - when we started dating, that I had a boyfriend but- I mean, I dunno, I've thrown around the term sugar daddy while showing off some of your more... extravagant purchases."

"Like the cruise," Your cousin helpfully supplies, "And the tennis bracelet, and the summer home."

"That was a rental," You hiss, "Jamie, I swear I've used boyfriend 90% of the time."

"We thought she was just being optimistic," Your cousin admits, a wrinkled grimace on their face as they rush to free themselves from the awkward conversation, "But- uh, good for you two, remember me in the will."

"Oh my god," James buries his face in his hands, "They thought I was ancient. They thought I was some pervert chasing after girls, throwing money at the ones who'd pity me enough to look my way."

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry, Jamie," You croon, taking his face into your hands and shooing his own away. He leans in desperately to the soothing kisses that you stick to his face, looking for all the world like he might die of embarrassment right here right now. For all that he moans and groans, he's tucked himself into your hold like a helpless infant, and you're happy to oblige his neediness.

"No more using the word daddy." James instructs, though he's not in a position to make orders while nestled securely in your protective grip, "Not unless we decide to take a leap of faith in the bedroom. God, no wonder your grandma was so disappointed when she saw me- I don't have enough wrinkles for her."